#Loving him is quite painful

[villain-in-love]

I've mentioned him a bunch of times before, but generally tried to stay away, to avoid falling into my old obsession. However, it seemed that I'm back at my bullshit again, regardless of my efforts.

Anyways, allow me introduce you properly.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the myth, the legend, the man himself, the one that caused me so much heartache!

Fucking Xerxes Break

I am so going to spoil you his entire character right now because you need to know this information because from now on I won't shut up about him.

So, Xerxes. In this story, that heavily references "Alice in Wonderland", he represents both the Mad Hatter and the White Knight. He's an extremely weird mix of a cunning bastard, cinnamon roll, and grouchy old man, all at once. Xerxes Break is known by many for his eccentric behaviour and unparalleled fighting skills, being simultaneously the best and the most insufferable swordsman in the entire Pandora organization. Other than that, he's a loyal servant of the Rainsworth dukedom, and an important mentor figure to the main characters.

Most of the time, he acts like a clown. When he's not acting like a clown, he acts like a moody bitch.

He made a bunch of terrible decisions in his youth and is still dealing with the consequences of his actions, even fifteen years later. Break's past is dark and bloody, and he's not proud of it.

At first you might think that he's an untrustworthy manipulator with a few screws loose, but then throughout the story you realize that he's easily the person with the most common sense in this entire freakshow, as well as one of the very few people you can actually rely on. Also Xerxes has always been a better fighter than a manipulator.

In any case, just don't listen to a single thing Break says about himself – his actions often contradict his words. He tries to portray himself as a far more horrible person than he actually is.

He doesn't know how to deal with children, but he keeps accidentally adopting every child he meets. Claims that he doesn't care about anyone but himself, yet actually cares about everyone except himself. And if you dare to hurt people that are dear to him, I hope you already have your place at the graveyard reserved, because he does not forgive that... and because he's a former serial killer (bad decisions, bad decisions).

All that comes in a complect with sugar addiction, creepy ventriloquist doll named Emily, pride that blinds (ha!) him to everything else, thinly veiled suicidal tendencies, trust issues, massive guilt complex, undying devotion, obnoxious tendency to poke his nose into everyone else's business, and completely nonsensical fashion sense!

.......

Also he is quite literally rotting on the inside (what did I say about the consequences of his own actions?), then he loses his eyesight closer to the middle of the manga, and dies by the end of the story, right after finally realizing that he's actually not ready to die.

In short, this man is a walking disaster and I adore him with my entire being.

[lazylittledragon]

How was Astarion during Kits birth? I feel like he’d panic tbh

i think he would be his regular flippant self to hide that he was SHITTING BRICKS

[deoidesign]

Happy EDS awareness month!

I'm a webcomic artist with EDS. be aware.

EDS affects many parts of my life. I have chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and I need to use a cane! I often find myself ruminating on themes of chronic illness in my work, whether or not I am intending to include them.

I already can't paint anymore, it hurts my hands too much... Anything that requires small details or precise motions will hurt me for days. I have a lot of grief around it. But working digitally allows me to still create!

I animate, I illustrate, I get to tell my stories. I have to go slow, take huge breaks (often against my will) and recover slowly. But, working in this space allows me the grace to do this.

So, I just wanted to share a bit of my experience with my audience, and say thank you for reading my work and supporting me! It means the world to me, and I hope maybe someone in my audience feels a little more seen through me sharing this. It causes me pain, but I love myself; and that includes my disability.

[larsnicklas]

you must understand he is very dear to me

[fatedroses]

I offer unsundered Meteor and a bit of the strange giant winged man that likes to follow him around.

As per his namesake I plan on incorporating a lot of it into the ancient design, (besides the fact that I purposefully, visually, swapped how some of Dionysus and Apollo's traits are generally depicted). The majority of it is foresight and prophetic vision (and perhaps a bit of apollo's general misfortune), his past inspired by Ardbert to have grown up primarily as a farmer/rancher, the bardic inspirations and maybe a bit more the more I flesh him out.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love Jiang Cheng and I hope you agree. The most tragic thing about yunmeng siblings is that JC and WWX really love each other the whole time… I like to think they can fix it someday

Someday perhaps....in the meantime, I bet he's loving having dogs run around lotus pier. As a WWX deterrent of course. No therapeutic reasons at all.

[artsyebonyrose]

finding out that ashton has chronic pain was such a powerful little moment. big tough muscle guy being consistently in pain and just never talking about it ever. fcg being in his body for a few moments and someone finally gets how ashton feels, someone understands the pain.

their little "yeah" with a subtle smile "its a lot all the time" after fcg describes their physical pain as a lot, was just so :'((( it broke my heart. until now no one but themself have known how it hurts, and have had to brave it and remain this tough guy. maybe its not so bad, maybe i'm just weak, maybe i'm exaggerating. having someone else feel what he feels and actually say those words "yes, it was a lot" are the much needed words of reassurance to prove to himself that yes, the pain really is a lot. someone else can finally see that.

ashton needed that, now their friends know they hurt, and that's good. they can do more for him now, give better support, understand his position more with this new knowledge. he doesn't have to feel as isolated as before. and they can feel solace in the fact that their closest and most empathetic friend gets it just a bit more now.

[birdricks]

ok heres this. how i interpreted his fears at least

[bylertruther]

he has all these feelings and he can't find a way to express them in a way that mike can understand..... will just wanting to be understood by one of the people he loves most in this world.... the king of his heart, his very first and best friend, and his first love.... he wants to be known and loved for exactly who he is the very same way that he knows and loves mike for all that he is, but he doesn't know how to say the unspeakable.... i can't see through ym tears right now

[good-to-drive]

I totally agree with the general consensus that Ringo provided a lot of emotional support and coolheadedness to the other beatles to the point where they'd have probably killed each other without him but I do also wonder sometimes how much of that is being supernaturally patient and easygoing and how much of it is Ringo just having a tumultuous and isolated childhood where he was never taught to recognize and assert his own emotional needs so he became a blank slate on which others could process their emotions

(And tbh I also wonder how an inability to access or assert his feelings may have contributed to his tendency to process pain by numbing himself and the pretty shitty way he treated women)

[nail-art-no-jutsu]

🔞 Nagato nsfw headcanons 🔞

❣️x reader scenario ❣️ sfw headcanons❣️

gender neutral reader for all posts

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*-*-*-*-* minors DNI *-*-*-*-*

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Note: first some headcanons about his earlier years and how he conceptualizes things, and then nsfw likes and dislikes when he's in an actual relationship.

background stuff

in his youth, Nagato gave off the impression that he wasn't interested in dating, because of his shyness combined with his preference for more serious topics

in reality, he wasn't opposed to it, he just didn't prioritize it

life was hard and dangerous and he knew that others rushed into experimenting with dating and sex out of fomo, what if they die without finding out what it's like, but he didn't quite relate

he didn't want to kiss or touch anyone on a dare, or for any other playful reason, he wanted to truly bond with someone first

his inner child still insisted on believing that his parents had only ever loved each other, he had no way of knowing but he never questioned it, and that was what he wanted for himself

the only two people who would have qualified ended up being together before he was able to decide which of them he was crushing on more - but that's fine, he was happy for them from the bottom of his heart, thinking back it made sense how their friendship led to love, and both crushes just went away

then that disastrous battle took place during which Nagato lost so much more than just his health, and if he wasn't actively looking for someone to love before, he wasn't going to start after that

the injury to his legs plus having his life force drained left him unable to do a lot of things that a partner might want, but he doesn't exactly plan to have a typical life anyway, he's perfect for the job that life has given him

he knows all too well that his Tendo path is very attractive and that people lust over him left and right

and he's vaguely amused by everyone who looks at his public Pain persona and imagines that he must be the kinkiest man in the world, if only they knew what those piercings actually do

they can think whatever they want, look all they want, but that body is taboo

he'd have zero scruples when it comes to using the other paths though, but... why. he's just so unmotivated

is he a god? yes. is he a sex god?? no, lol

relationship stuff

but if by some miracle he finds someone who ticks all the boxes and passes all the tests (loves him deeply, agrees with the plan, isn't weirded out by the six paths, and his physical situation isn't a dealbreaker) ... Nagato becomes the most thoughtful lover you've ever had

he doesn't half-ass things, he takes his love for you very seriously, and he puts a lot of thought into what could work when it comes to sex, taking both his needs and yours into account

that's after he's convinced that you don't just love him for how he thinks - though he would have been satisfied with that too

and after taking some time to adjust to what it's like to have someone to love, to kiss, to hold

he knows he's had enough time when thoughts of making love to you become a constant distraction, and we don't want that, and that's when he decides to let you know what he wants

his lack of experience doesn't worry him, he's proven to himself that he can do so many things, and if you really, really, really want to sleep with him - be prepared to reconfirm a thousand times - he will get very creative

to the point of commissioning special furniture of his own invention so he can sit or lie down more comfortably for you

all he needed was someone to really, really love, and the courage to think big, and by now he has plenty of the latter, this is not young shy Nagato, it's adult Nagato who can handle any challenge

he chooses to focus on what he can do, and of course, on what you can do

he's a big fan of watching you strip for him

his comfort level can vary, sometimes his upper body hurts more than his lower body, sometimes it's the other way around, and even on reasonable days his mobility still needs to be taken into account, so usually he's the one who decides what you do together

sometimes he needs you to start with massaging his shoulders, they're very stiff

and neck kissing

his absolute favorite thing is oral, both giving and receiving

okay, he's still shy sometimes, at first he's too embarrassed to watch you as you suck him off

on the other hand he likes it when you're watching him, he pins his hair up so you can see both those mesmerizing eyes and devours you with them before he starts using his mouth on you

he gets used to watching you too eventually, and he holds your head in loving hands

he cannot get enough of seeing your lips play with his tip, gently, slowly, he needs to remember not to bite his lip because everything takes so long to heal

penetration only works with fingers, it's not something that Nagato wants very often, but if you do, he's always ready for fingering no jutsu

not a fan of dirty talk

loves to give and to receive praise

if he's uncomfortable he won't hesitate to say so, and he expects the same from you, if something hurts he might tell you to stop quite abruptly, he hopes you understand, and sometimes he might have to stop completely for the day

but he would love to watch you finish!

Nagato is always exhausted even if everything goes well, and he definitely wants to sleep afterwards, but not before looking at you with endless adoration and saying he loves you

Thank you for reading! ❣️🥰❣️

[demonbarberofbeepbeep]

morning toddheads

[eoinmcgonigal]

Okay, now I judge this guy:

Too tortured to live, too interesting to watch interact with and fuck up the ecosystem to die.

He's like the OG fucked up guy. His issues have issues. He's fascinating to watch. He's broken in ways you didn't know a guy could be broken. Delicious.

Looks: 10/10 Tortured guy issues: 1000/10 Derangement: we're-going-to-need-a-bigger-chart/10 Unhealthy coping mechanisms: 1000/10 Other: +95729374 for everything else about him Total: he's-so-fucked-up/10

If he's your fave hot guy, well you probably just watched the show. A hundred thousand prayers for us all. We love this fucked up disaster, because he's like if someone went 'oh hey what if we take lots of fucked up shit, shove it into one guy, and dial it up to max, but he's still loveable'. If we or someone we care about has an issue, Paddy probably has that issue too. He's our guy. Our fucked up, deranged, tortured guy. He is here to bear our burdens, and to be sexy while doing it. We want him to be worse. We want him to get better. He'll do both at the same time, somehow. Very, very talented.

[interstate35south]

rewatching yj and i forgot how much s1 ep 13 pissed me off like kaldur is SUCH a better man than me bc lemme tell you if my entire team that elected me to lead got all mean and passive aggressive bc i made a hard but pragmatic decision AS IS MY RESPONSIBILITY AS A LEADER i think i’d have to kill myself in front of all of them. like i need everyone to rub their two brain cells together for a moment. if kaldur called a whole team meeting and was like hey guys! so there may or may not be a mole lol what would happen next?? if there isn’t a mole everyone gets suspicious and turns on each other without reason. if there is a mole that still happens but now you’ve tipped off the fucking mole!!! like do you guys know how traitors work!!

[good-beanswrites]

Just going to drop another idea in the hat. How does Mahiru feel about all that's going on with Fuuta in OoA? (Dunno if she would have visited him alone or with Yuno or Amane. Up to you.)

(Sorry for the mini drabble dump, I hope you enjoy 😅 Thank you for all the reminder asks!! I appreciated it since it took a million years to get to, and sure enough it was super fun to play around with all these ideas >:3)

Ough, on the surface she'd look exactly the same, but I feel like she would have a lot going on. She pities him. She pities herself because of him. She's glad she isn't him. She's jealous of him and Amane. She's toeing the line between her a bad first impression of him and finally seeing his human side. This takes place with enough time after the attacks for the dust to settle, but early enough where everyone's still adjusting.

“Fuuta~ Big sis Mahiru came to check on you! How are you feeling?”

For the entire first trial, Mahiru had constantly given Fuuta advice on his volume and outbursts. She’d scolded him for shouting, for bickering, for butting into conversation that weren’t his business. She’d spent so much time wishing he would just be more quiet. 

Now that her wish had finally come true, she would do anything to take it back.

“Mmn.”

The old Fuuta would have launched into detail about how he was feeling – about Milgram’s treatment being unjust and how the other prisoners were annoying him. Now that he was slumped in bed, bandages practically holding him together, all he could muster up was a half-shrug. His eyes had lost their usual shine, hardly looking focused at all. 

“If you need some medication, Shidou says he has more ready.”

Fuuta nodded. Mahiru knew what question was coming. It was the same every day.

“Did he offer it to Amane first? How is she?”

“She’s still coming around to it. She’s doing alright. I know you think she’s putting up an act when she visits, but honestly, she tells you more than any of us! I didn’t even know she could talk that much!” With her heart already heavy, it was easy to let the pang of jealousy slip into her mind. She was happy the two of them found each other, but Amane was opening up to him far more than her. Mahiru had done everything she could for her – what did Fuuta have that she was missing?

“Hey, look! I brought you some games. Everyone is requesting more supplies, and Shidou is still working on getting that wheelchair for you. I thought that this is just as important, yeah? I found some games that other prisoners didn’t mind lending. See ~ these cards are from Kazui, and Yuno left her cat’s cradle string, and I think Haruka even left a board game that he liked. I even wrote out the instructions to some word games, since those are my favorites.” 

“Eh, I don’t need ‘em.”

She refused to let herself deflate. Instead the smile stayed painted on her face. “I’ll just leave them here, then, if you ever get bored. I’m always up for playing something, but a lot of the games can be done by yourself, too!”

At that, he laughed. It was a terrible, bitter sound. It revealed how wheezy his lungs were from his injuries. 

“Oh yeah?” He said through a panting breath. “How am I supposed to play cat’s cradle by myself?” He shifted his left arm, bound up in a sling. “Am I supposed to balance the board games on the bed? With all the fucking pieces falling off?”

Mahiru’s smile wavered. “I only meant –”

“I can’t use my hands.” His voice was defeated. “Can’t get up. My head is killing me. Maybe literally. How am I supposed to play any of these? I know you were just being nice… but don’t bother.”

“I am going to bother.”

“Why…?” He let his eyes slip shut. “It’s not like anyone gave a shit about me before. They only care now because I’m dying. Everyone who knew me before… and even everyone here… they all treated me like crap until I got hurt. Now they’re all falling over themselves for me. It’s pathetic.”

It was a phrase he’d used often enough before, but Mahiru was struck with how differently he spoke it, his voice wavering.

The words “that’s not true” hung on her tongue. But it was, wasn’t it? Her stomach twisted in shame. It was horrible. That couldn’t be it – she must have a good reason to care now. After a second of scrambling, it hit her.

“Well! The thing is… what Kazui was saying about Kotoko’s plan… If I hadn’t been with Yuno… It should have been me, Fuuta. And I need to make it up to you.” She shook her head. Another man’s face flashed in her memory. “It should have been me…”

“Yeah, it should have been.”

The two were silent. She studied his face, but he looked firmly away. 

Internally she begged herself to leave it there. To learn her own lesson and be quiet. To bid Fuuta well and walk away from the person who was going to say things that would break her heart. But, as every other time in her life, Mahiru couldn’t control herself.

“I’m so, so sorry.” She clasped her hands together as she bowed. “I feel awful about it. Everytime I see you and Amane… I had been so selfish, going to Yuno to cheer myself up, instead of looking out for the two of you. If I could go back and change everything, I would in a heartbeat. I’m sorry. I know that you must hate me. I hate myself. I’m sorry.”

She thought offering her emotions would help. She thought it would be good for him to hear, since he was asking for a reason and she had such a good one. She gasped, seeing tears slip down Fuuta’s miserable expression. 

“What –”

“That’s exactly what I was talking about.” She would have preferred his yelling to this quiet resignation. “You’re not here because you care about me. You’re here because you’re feeling sorry for yourself. I don’t need your pity. Just leave.”

“No, it’s not like that! I wish it hadn’t been you that got hurt and –”

“Yeah I wish it wasn’t me, too.” He finally looked at her. “But I don’t wish it was you. That’s not how this works. Be grateful you made it out, and don’t come wallowing in self-pity to me. From now on, only come in here if you actually want to. Not to boost your own ego.”

Mahiru stood with her mouth agape. She tried to muster up something to say, finally finding it was easier to just stay silent. She turned to the door.

Why, oh why couldn’t she do it right?

[duvewing]

i do want kyrie to be a flawed person as much as she is kind and merciful. she gets to have bags under her eyes sometimes, she gets to have her nightmares and doubts and insecurities and make the hard decision to be kind anyway. i want her to have her little embarrassing moments that still make her cringe when she thinks about them randomly even weeks later. and she also gets to be strange and offputting at times. i want to see nero love her not because she’s inhumanly perfect but because she’s so human and still very compassionate