#Loveless

[someoneq]

happy aromanticism and spectrum month. I know there's still 2 weeks until ASAW but if the world wants to shove valentines in my face I'm shoving lovless aromanticism right back at it

be loud, make art, write, talk about being arospec, take up space in real life and in fandom, be unapologetically arospec and don't let anyone take it from you

[madmarbles4]

It astounds me as to how criminally underrated some of Alice Oseman's works are. I mean, Heartstopper is the most popular for a reason (I love the show and comics), and Solitaire has grown its own following, but I see so many people missing out on amazing books like I Was Born For This, Radio Silence, Loveless, as well as some short stories that are an extension of Nick and Charlie's storyline.

I mean, IWBFT has a unique perspective of how to manage fame from the artist's POV as well as how to cope with fake friends. Radio Silence has so many moving pieces including many characters' individual growth and storyline, as well as coping with academic and privacy struggles online when it comes to creating in a fandom. Loveless was also an eye-opener about asexuality and how to branch out in university. And, Nick and Charlie and This Winter added so much depth to some topics Alice didn't have time to cover in the comics.

Anyways, in short, Alice Oseman is an extremely talented artist/writer and she includes so much diversity and realistic representation in her work. Thank you for listening to my rant lol <3

[saphiccdisease]

Here have my Alice Oseman book collection before I pack them away to move house :]

[yourartificialangel]

My relationship with 'love' is a weird thing to me, as a loveless aromantic person.

Sure, the definitions of love simply include a 'deep affection' or 'great interest' for someone or something, but for a lot of aromantic people, 'love' has always been something associated with romance, which is why some people identify as loveless.

While that is part of why I use the label, I'm still trying to figure out my relationship with the concept of love, so I'm making this post to sort of think out loud to myself and hopefully figure it out a little.

I'm aplatonic and aromantic. I don't think I exactly 'love' my friends, like how I wouldn't love someone romantically, and the word love usually isn't associated with friendship in society anyway so at first I wasn't sure why it made me uncomfortable.

Looking back at my previous and current relationships, whether that be friendships, QPRs, romantic relationships, or whatever, I realise now that maybe it's emotional intimacy that I'm averse to. I think I've always known this, but I never really gave it much thought.

Maybe in the literal sense I can 'love'. I 'love' my interests and my hobbies, I suppose. Still, I don't think I 'qualify' for using the word love in my eyes, and that's fine with me. I like it, I think. I never really liked the word love or felt comfortable with saying I loved people. Especially if it meant significance to the relationship. I'm a little more comfortable with saying I love things, but it doesn't feel quite right still.

Maybe that's why I like to say 'I hate you/this' affectionately. It's unserious, so to me, that means there's less seriousness in intimacy, but it still conveys my affection or appreciation somewhat well.

I like the word passion more. It's vague, literally meaning 'a strong emotion', so you could apply it to pretty much anything. I'm passionate about my interests and hobbies. I experience passion sexually, I think.

I don't know what to say. Words and labels are weird, but I like being loveless and aromantic. Although it's a little confusing sometimes and oftentimes I do feel like I'm 'missing' something as a person because of it. I just wish people wouldn't act like love is universally the greatest thing ever, that everyone needs it or wants it.

Okay, bye.

[our-aro-experience]

“love is what makes us human—”

WRONG!!

[aro-absol]

You know what I like so much about the aromantic community?

We have so many concepts that the average alloromantic person has never heard of. Concepts that make it so much easier to explain our experiences, desires and struggles to other people. They make it so much easier to exist as an aromantic person in this world. Of course, every aromantic person can decide whether they find these concepts helpful and applicable to their experiences. But I find it amazing how many cool concepts the aromantic community either came up with or took pre-existing concepts and made them our aromantic 101. I don't think the allos really get how being aromantic can fundamentally change your worldview. And to be honest, I think they're missing out because I think everyone would benefit from at least being familiar with those concepts.

Being aromantic is basically like this:

Aromantic shrimp colours are real.

Anyways, aromantic community, y'all mean a lot to me and I'm so happy I found y'all and now share your "secret" knowledge!

[infiniteorangethethird]

btw shoutout to those who feel they are aspec because of their autism. To the aros, aces, apls, afams, and everyone else who feels their orientation is a direct result of their neurodivergency. Your feelings are valid, and you're not "just reinforcing stereotypes" by being yourself, bc you're not a character in a story, but a real person with real, lived experiences. I see you and I feel you

[loveless-arobee]

The answer to aspecs asking you to stop assuming [thing] about all aspecs is not to start assuming [opposite of thing] about all aspecs btw.

"Stop assuming all AlloAros have a lot of sex (or "are sluts")" does not mean "Start assuming no AlloAro has lots of sex" and also not "No AlloAro ever feels comfortable calling themselves a slut (or whore or w/e)" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aros are loveless and non-partnering" does not mean "start assuming all aros do love ("in non-romantic ways") and are always partnering" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aces are sex-repulsed" does not mean "start assuming all aces are sex-favourable", and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aplatonic people want to make friends" does not mean "start assuming no aplatonic people want to make friends" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all [aros or aces, mostly*] experience no [romantic or sexual, mostly*] attraction" does not mean "start assuming all [aros or aces] experience some form of [romantic or sexual attraction]" and vice-versa.

[Continue ad infinitum; these are just some examples and listing all things like that would be impossible.]

Just stop making assumptions about people based on one part of their identity. If they decide they want you to know, they'll tell you. If you want to know, you can ask, and maybe they'll give an answer (don't act like you're owed one, tho).

Accept that all people are different and even people under the same queer identity are going to have a vastly different experience; especially vast umbrellas like the aspec-identities. Instead of taking what one aspec person says about their identity as true for everyone under that same identity and then taking everything else as a "contradiction" to that label, or as something that needs another or a different label, simply accept that different people are going to have a different experience even if they use the same words to describe them.

It's really not that hard.

[*I think this may also apply to other aspec-identities (aplatonic, afamilial, atertriary, etc), right? I see these takes mostly inside of and directed at aro- and ace-spaces; but it also seems like it just applies across the board, non-aro and non-ace aspec-identities are just lesser known and thus not discussed as often.]

[normalpeoplethiings]

“It was something adults said all the time. “You'll change your mind when you're older. You never know what might happen. You'll feel differently one day.” As if we teenagers knew so little about ourselves that we could wake up one day a completely different person. As if the person we are right now doesn't matter at all.”

- Loveless, Alice Oseman (2020)

[fallenrain40]

"but aroaces can still feel lo-" shut up. it doesn't matter if we can feel love or not. why is this always your defense to why aroaces should be valid? it gets even worse with alloaces and alloaros. people constantly saying "aces can still have sex!!" and "aros can still have love and have partners!!" YES, they can, but you aren't bringing that up just to bring awareness towards aroaces. No, you are using that fact as a way to ignore and condemn the part that makes us aroace; the lack of attraction. I'm sick and tired of seeing aces and aros have to defend themselves by bringing up all the other ways they can love. Why can't we for once celebrate the parts of us that DON'T love?

[loveless-yadriel]

Had a soulmate tarot reading done, in small hopeless aromantic hopes that I had a chance at love.

They described my cat. They even felt guided to say a name and it was my fucking cats name. I think they absolutely believed they were talking about a human girl but nope, just the goofiest cat that could ever roam. This is honestly the perfect possible outcome.

[love-me-love-my-weirdness]

Cishet aspecs are queer.

Cishet aromantics are queer. Cishet asexuals are queer. Cishet aplatonics are queer. Cishet afamilials are queer. Cishet anattractionals are queer.

Aspecs are queer as hell and excluding them only isolates queer people from their community.

[oldinterneticons]

Top ANIME/MANGA icons posted to @oldinterneticons in 2024

[jediwizard]

HAPPY PRIDE YA'LL

[cosmicredcadet]

enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.