#Loveless

[loveless-arobee]

The answer to aspecs asking you to stop assuming [thing] about all aspecs is not to start assuming [opposite of thing] about all aspecs btw.

"Stop assuming all AlloAros have a lot of sex (or "are sluts")" does not mean "Start assuming no AlloAro has lots of sex" and also not "No AlloAro ever feels comfortable calling themselves a slut (or whore or w/e)" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aros are loveless and non-partnering" does not mean "start assuming all aros do love ("in non-romantic ways") and are always partnering" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aces are sex-repulsed" does not mean "start assuming all aces are sex-favourable", and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aplatonic people want to make friends" does not mean "start assuming no aplatonic people want to make friends" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all [aros or aces, mostly*] experience no [romantic or sexual, mostly*] attraction" does not mean "start assuming all [aros or aces] experience some form of [romantic or sexual attraction]" and vice-versa.

[Continue ad infinitum; these are just some examples and listing all things like that would be impossible.]

Just stop making assumptions about people based on one part of their identity. If they decide they want you to know, they'll tell you. If you want to know, you can ask, and maybe they'll give an answer (don't act like you're owed one, tho).

Accept that all people are different and even people under the same queer identity are going to have a vastly different experience; especially vast umbrellas like the aspec-identities. Instead of taking what one aspec person says about their identity as true for everyone under that same identity and then taking everything else as a "contradiction" to that label, or as something that needs another or a different label, simply accept that different people are going to have a different experience even if they use the same words to describe them.

It's really not that hard.

[*I think this may also apply to other aspec-identities (aplatonic, afamilial, atertriary, etc), right? I see these takes mostly inside of and directed at aro- and ace-spaces; but it also seems like it just applies across the board, non-aro and non-ace aspec-identities are just lesser known and thus not discussed as often.]

[bastienb33]

Buy of the day 🎁

Small purchase of the day from me to me 🤣❤️ After Radio Silence, I'm testing myself with Loveless! I liked the story straight away, I've never enjoyed reading novels so much since I started reading Alice Oseman! I really like Alice's writing, so far I like everything I've read by her (in other words Heartstopper, Solitaire, This Winter, Nick and Charlie, Radio Silence). I'm not a big reader, but I'm fascinated by stories, which is why I'm trying Loveless! ❤️🏳️‍🌈

[our-aro-experience]

“love is what makes us human—”

WRONG!!

[infiniteorangethethird]

sure "romantic" isn't the only type of love but also "love" isn't the only type of positive feeling. So maybe stop insisting everyone needs love to be happy and accept that loveless ppl exist? Pretty please?

[normalpeoplethiings]

“It was something adults said all the time. “You'll change your mind when you're older. You never know what might happen. You'll feel differently one day.” As if we teenagers knew so little about ourselves that we could wake up one day a completely different person. As if the person we are right now doesn't matter at all.”

- Loveless, Alice Oseman (2020)

[fallenrain40]

"but aroaces can still feel lo-" shut up. it doesn't matter if we can feel love or not. why is this always your defense to why aroaces should be valid? it gets even worse with alloaces and alloaros. people constantly saying "aces can still have sex!!" and "aros can still have love and have partners!!" YES, they can, but you aren't bringing that up just to bring awareness towards aroaces. No, you are using that fact as a way to ignore and condemn the part that makes us aroace; the lack of attraction. I'm sick and tired of seeing aces and aros have to defend themselves by bringing up all the other ways they can love. Why can't we for once celebrate the parts of us that DON'T love?

[loveless-yadriel]

Had a soulmate tarot reading done, in small hopeless aromantic hopes that I had a chance at love.

They described my cat. They even felt guided to say a name and it was my fucking cats name. I think they absolutely believed they were talking about a human girl but nope, just the goofiest cat that could ever roam. This is honestly the perfect possible outcome.

[love-me-love-my-weirdness]

Cishet aspecs are queer.

Cishet aromantics are queer. Cishet asexuals are queer. Cishet aplatonics are queer. Cishet afamilials are queer. Cishet anattractionals are queer.

Aspecs are queer as hell and excluding them only isolates queer people from their community.

[aro-absol]

You know what I like so much about the aromantic community?

We have so many concepts that the average alloromantic person has never heard of. Concepts that make it so much easier to explain our experiences, desires and struggles to other people. They make it so much easier to exist as an aromantic person in this world. Of course, every aromantic person can decide whether they find these concepts helpful and applicable to their experiences. But I find it amazing how many cool concepts the aromantic community either came up with or took pre-existing concepts and made them our aromantic 101. I don't think the allos really get how being aromantic can fundamentally change your worldview. And to be honest, I think they're missing out because I think everyone would benefit from at least being familiar with those concepts.

Being aromantic is basically like this:

Aromantic shrimp colours are real.

Anyways, aromantic community, y'all mean a lot to me and I'm so happy I found y'all and now share your "secret" knowledge!

[jediwizard]

HAPPY PRIDE YA'LL

[redysetdare]

enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.

[loveless-arobee]

It's always "aros can still date!" "aros can still be in (any type of non-romantic or romantic) relationships!" "aros aren't heartless!" "aros can still love in different ways!"

Well, sure, you do you.

But not all of us. A lot of us are *completely* non-partnering. There's loveless aros. Aplatonic aros. Hell, even heartless is a label some aros use!

We don’t need to do anything to "replace" the romantic relationships we don’t have. People can be completely happy alone! Without a partner! (Shocking, I know!)

I'm just a bit tired of all the amatonormativity I still see under some of the trending aro-positivity posts...

[thetisming]

amatonormativity: a romantic partner should be the most important person in EVERYONE'S life

NOT amatonormativity: MY romantic partner is the most important person in MY life, but i understand this is not the same for other people

allosexnormativity: EVERYONE should have sex and sex is something EVERYONE needs/wants/should want

NOT allosexnormativity: I PERSONALLY enjoy sex and love having sex because it makes ME feel good, but other people dont feel the same and that's okay

platonormativity: having friends is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs/has/should have friends

NOT platonormativity: having friends is important to ME and I PERSONALLY love having friends, but there are people who dont and theres nothing wrong with that

faminormativity (is that the word?): family is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs to have their family

NOT faminormativity: family is important to ME and I PERSONALLY need my family with me, but other people dont feel the same and i understand that

lovenormativity (again, not sure if this is a word): EVERYBODY feels love and there's something wrong wiith you if you dont

NOT lovenormativity: I PERSONALLY feel love and love people, but not everyone does and that's completely okay!

NOT amatonormativity: i dont have friends/have any desire to have friends, i am happy with other relationships/no relationships at all

NOT platonormativity: i dont have any desire to be in a romantic relationships, and i am happy with my platonic relationships

NOT allosexnormativity: i like hooking up with people and having one night stands or friends with benefits

NOT faminormativity: i care about my family deeply and am close with family members

NOT lovenormativity: i feel love for people i care about

it's not normative to personally enjoy something, so long as you respect that other people simply arent like you and aren't going to like the same things as you. taking down normativity is a two way street, allos and aspecs need to do it. support your local aros, aces, apls, afams and other aspecs today! remember to challange all normativities, and to not enforce other normativity by saying how bullshit other normativities are!

nothing is universal. romance is not universal. sex is not universal. friendship is not universal. family is not universal. love is not universal. nothing is universal.

[infiniteorangethethird]

I don't know where this "if you don't feel love/empathy you're evil" idea comes from like if you can only be decent towards people if you love them/feel empathy towards them then I'm pretty sure I'm not the one mistreating more people of the two of us

[tenderdevils]

POV you disturb the god of death chaos while he’s reading his stories. 🫠

I think he’d get around Loveless.