#Like what was the point. Awesome. This is stupid.

[thenugking]

Reading BG1's History of the Dead Three and damn "three guys turn up to take jergal's power and he just gives it to them and retires" was already extremely funny but BG3 really undersold quite how extremely stupid the situation was.

After being told that Jergal Is Bored Of His Duties, we are introduced to Bane the Tyrant, Bhaal the Assassin and Myrkul the Necromancer, and told how cool and awesome and powerful they are

What we are not told is what Bane being a tyrant entails. Does he rule a country? Is he just someone's shitty boss? You'd think this would be relevant but no.

After a long and epic quest, the three of them finally reach their objective, the Bone Throne

THE BONE THRONE

At this point I had to stop to laugh because I can NOT take seriously a group of people whose LIFELONG QUEST is to reach something called The Bone Throne

Anyway the three of them start screaming about how it's My Throne Now while Jergal just sits there, on his Bone Throne.

Jergal is at this point Extremely Fucking Done and just tells them they can take the Bone Throne. All he wants to know is which of them is actually going to rule.

This question had apparently not occured to the Dead Three in their lifelong quest.

The three of them immediately start fighting over it while Jergal continues to be So Incredibly Fucking Done.

The fight lasts so long that Jergal realises they're only going to stop if they die of exhaustion, so he sighs and suggest they just, like, play a game of skill to decide who wins??

The gang decides the winner of The Bone Throne should be whoever's best at bowling. Jergal pulls the skulls off some of his liches for them to use for this.

Part way through Skull Bowling, a whole other god, Malar the Beastlord, just pops by to visit Jergal

Malar is a little nonplussed to find Jergal is just giving away all his powers right now and would also like a chance to inherit them, please

He runs off to grab the skulls so the contest is halted until he gets a chance to play too, and Bhaal, Bane and Myrkul immediately start fighting among themselves again

Jergal is, at this point, more done than anyone has ever been at any point ever

He suggests they just play a game of chance while Malar's off chasing skulls about. He breaks off one of his own finger bones for them to do this with because honestly why not at this point

Malar returns with his skulls just in time to see the others finish their game, f for respects

Bane wins and declares he chooses to rule over Tyranny, and therefore be totally in charge and cooler than everyone

Myrkul comes second and declares he chooses to rule over the dead, and that means he's the real winner because everything Bane rules over will eventually be his, so suck it

Bhaal comes third and declares he chooses to rule over death, which means he can fuck Bane over by killing his people and fuck Myrkul over by not killing people, and thefore he's the coolest and winnerest of all, so both of you can suck it

They literally just chose the things they were doing anyway

None of the fighting was even necessary

Jergal is just glad to be retired

[suzukiblu]

requesting some think pink, if you please? ^^ thank u so much for sharing your writing!

So–yeah, Kon very much does appreciate not having to go rustle up his own breakfast right now, even if he doesn’t get why Bernard bothered, but . . . 

But he doesn’t get why Bernard bothered, and since he’s a little sensitive and stupid and weird right now, the thought’s kinda stuck in his head, for . . . whatever reason. 

“Awesome, then happy breakfast,” Bernard says, clapping his hands together triumphantly, then tilting his head to the side as he makes a face and half-shrugging. “Well, brunch. A very late brunch. Okay, more like . . . lupper, at this point. Ew. Ew, pretend I didn't say that. Uh. Linner? Never mind, that is not an improvement.” 

“Uh–what?” Kon says, blinking at him.

[majaloveschris]

However, I don't know if leaking the contract would be bad for both of them. I think most people would be happier if this turned out to be PR rather than him being married to someone like her. And I mean her and her friends' personalities. You know the racist, pedo, and Nazi stuff. Maybe some people would be angry because he's lied, but I think most of us probably would be relieved he wasn't actually in love with someone like Alba. //

Logic anon coming in, people have to understand the fandom although it feels big is very small especially compared to the rest of the world. The general public doesn’t care about these two and many think she looks like she’s his daughter. Now, If this fandom were like the fandoms with “names” ie the Swifties, Belibers, etc This shitshow would have exploded publicly to the point the truth would have came out and there’d be no debate. The world would be aware of her and her friends and many would probably defend her, it would be team pr vs real on a bigger level. But technically something similar yet small did happen….. remember the ��crazy” fan article in the beginning because the fandom was calling out the bs.

This stunt wasn’t for the fans, but I assume they thought this fandom would jump whenever Chris said to….wrong. The fandom went into detective mode so much to the point they kept having to keep up with the lies that so many called out. Remember all the holes in the cheese they tried to fill. If it were real, why the need to do that.

But yeah the point for whatever reason was to make this appear legit to the world, not this fandom. The fandom got involved because of how stupid things got. Had Chris and team learned that he had a MO that ONLY his fandom was aware of and had her and her little racist friends not trolled, things might be different.

Too much has happened for me to assume any of this is legit unless Chris has sincerely lost his mind, is going through a midlife crises or willingly thought being married might help his career/image? Idk 🤷‍♀️

In terms of said contract being leaked, that would be awesome for the fandom and possibly those who think he’s a red pill fool, but for the overall public…. I don’t think so. He’d be a liar and how could anyone trust someone who lied about being married, but again it’s Hollywood and business so who knows, it could be a shock factor, people discuss and then move on and he’s able to reinvent himself or something or people would crack jokes and never let him live it down, etc.

If a contract got leaked and had specific details it could help him and people would go omg look what Hollywood forced Chris Evans to do and I knew he’d never marry anyone that young, etc. ya know the “poor Chris”, coddling scenario he’s use to. 🙄

At most, a divorce could be announced and TMZ can state they were never legally married and leave people to question whatever. Chris moves on, focuses on his career and learns to keep his private life private and no more PR shit.

I think they thought Alba would get much more recognition and fans because of Chris. That the fandom will like her, that they will start following her and start her career. The why is beyond me, though. I wouldn't say even his real girlfriends were that liked by the public, so why would a fake one with whom they look so distant and who is a worse person than the others be? I don't think they thought this through.

I wouldn't say this wasn't for us; most of the time, a PR relationship is. A random person who's watched a few projects of yours won't start following or supporting someone's partner. A fan would. Like how many people have started following Travis since they went public with Taylor? A lot. I assume they wanted something similar to happen to Alba, but they didn't succeed. As you said, the general public cares more about the age gap and the appearance. They don't have to sell them anything because they don't care. They have to make it look legit for the fans, because they are the ones following all of their steps. They will be the ones who start following the partner or check out their works. When it comes to a PR relationship, the fans need to like the partner or accept them in the close circle. The general public just doesn't care enough to make someone's partner more famous; fans could do that. Chris's fans could've started liking Alba and watching her projects, making her more wanted in projects. That's why they wanted to sell the happy relationship; that's why they filled the holes. They need fans to do their parts, not the general public.

I still think leaking something would be the best. He's lost a lot of fans, and I'm not saying that would get him everything and everyone back, but this PR wouldn't still be better than him actually being in love with her. I think it would be. Obviously, that doesn't take away the stupidity of this whole thing and that he got involved in this. It wouldn't make everything okay, but it would make it better. General public doesn't care enough about this. They would forget about him being in a PR marriage after like a day, especially right now, when a lot of much worse things are going on. This wouldn't be the worst thing a celebrity did. Right now, they should care about fans, not about the general public. Those people who've left are the important ones. They're going to go and watch all of his movies, not the general public.

I just hope that if this is truly PR, they all learned from this and have already realized that this whole thing was a mistake and will never try something like this.

[saturnservers]

okay, not to burst some bubbles, but i do LOVE kazam.. i just know it would never work out? like i love the idea of kazam... like... okay, so kazam will never be a healthy thing until kaboodle understands herself or understands how to healthily manage her feelings in regards to her lack of ... guidance? all she has is karmas law to guide her morals and actions, but that's a thing she keeps separated from her "true" self. like some omnipotent thing she can't control (she can) [more below cut... this is a YAP fest now]

and on top of that, her mistreatment (intentional or not) of zam, and even other people around her is so? like okay, lets not get upset she killed a naked jepexx, lets not be stupid, the same thing has happened to her before so she just thinks its a thing that happens, its not right but i'll defend her there.

but her interpersonal relationships really bum me out? i think lskab is vv capable of learning, and her parallel of s4 zam w eclipsefed and zam taking that role for her... like zam grew, and so could they but for now? It's understandable why people dont like lskab, because we dont even know who lskab is... like? what does she stand for? what are her morals? she could say it's karmas law and keeping the server going, but is it?

take for example, mawn. zam and kab both love spawn and want preserve it, constantly rebuilding the homes and builds there, but when mawn came around, while yes zam left bcs he didnt wanna fight mapicc, another reason is bcs zam acknowledged people LIKED mawn. they ENJOYED not dying every time they went to mawn. and zam was unwilling to take that from the server

meanwhile, kab wants to keep spawn active, so she created her own, one that actively rivals mawn not just in name but in status, in activity, in function. and she seems to behave so naively about it? she thinks no one will blow it up, but manepear isn't the only one with access to tnt, and sure, re:spawn is above mawn, but it's the same chunks? if the stone and caves below mawn are still mawn, if zams Island is still mawn, then surely, so is re:spawn? i feel like.. this wasn't thought through very well... and beyond that, it's the fact that kab keeps going, "No one, person should own spawn," but mawn belongs to flame AND mapicc... and to a certain extent? even spoke and jepexx

It's just idk... lskab doesn't think through things vv well because she has a certain belief of how people act, and she thinks they wouldn't defy their expectations. meanwhile, zam is someone who thinks and overthinks every action every word, every look he gives up. its to the point that he gives people the bod because he KNOWS them, while lskab decides to trust immediately and then despise... kab is so .... genuinely interesting?

like you either hate lskab or love her, and im like... can we acknowledge her flaws and their misguided nature while also seeing her strengths and kindness and love?? i am talking abt lstwt btw,,, vv scary rn... anyways.. shoutout kazam, i hope they go to prom together and have another falling out bcs, lskab reminds zam why he is so uncomfortable around them!

like i get so annoyed w lskabs mischaracterizations sometimes, but i love that? its so human to expect someone to behave one way and be shocked when they dont. even though i do think lskab and zam could def learn from one another, lskab holds a refreshing pov (being a new player and encouraging zam to build a place for himself [i think?!]) and zam holds very wise advice (for a new player whos going a similar path, zam is a very reliable person rn and a very loyal one too, beyond his paranoia), idk i just think they could be an awesome duo and even though theyre super toxic and fit like a dog and a cat, kazam is vv interesting and i hate that people just dont want to talk about it...

or ideally, in a perfect world shaped in my image, zam and planet go together since bacon won't take planet.... dandelion duo COME BACK PLEASEEEEEE

[trans-leek-cookie]

DNI IF YOU THINK GEGE IS A GOOD WRITER WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT.

[valzhangism]

i know i said i was happy about how mel's story went, but the more i think about it the less i'm sure about that. this is very much connected to how the themes of classism and wealth disappeared in s2, but mel in the beginning was the epitome of piltover. she wanted to advance piltover to prove herself to her mother. to "put piltover—" and by extension herself, "—on the map."

she wanted wealth just to have it. and i'm not blaming her for anything that happened, especially with hextech! she, just like jayce and viktor, could not have known what it would lead to. i mean yeah heimerdinger said so but who the hell listens to heimerdinger? but anyway i think mel changed throughout s1, much in thanks to jayce. by the end she's become more cognisant of the mistreatment of zaunites. she's the first to vote for their peace. she was a good person all along but now she knows how to act on it. it's also seen more in s2 act 1. when she covers her painting with gold, it's symbolic—she won't act according to what her mother might think. she won't let her desire for approval dictate her anymore.

so somehow i wish those themes were. continued, somehow? like again they were dropped not just with mel but the whole show and it makes her story a off to me. there's no meaningful commentary on war or classism or how her ideology stands opposite to her mother's. like some people have said, it feels like she doesn't have much agency, even if she is really cool. and that to me is a shame because agency felt like her thing. "to shape your own destiny" as she says to jayce in s1. i know her collaborating with the black rose (but not fully joining them) and learning magic is supposed to represent becoming independent from her mother, taking her own path, but some other aspects of her character were thrown away... the more i think about it the more i'm thinking they kind of #girlboss-ed her a little bit. maybe to sell another champion. i can't help but feel like even though i enjoyed seeing her on screen, the payoff didn't feel proportionally satisfying compared to her setup in s1.

[mybreadsmybutters]

i actually am like. reasonably extroverted. i just also kind of want to kill myself anytime somebody perceives me as a woman which makes doing literally anything feel like navigating the minefield of “is this dear friend who i’ve known for years who i’m not out to going to unintentionally and innocently say something that’s going to make me spiral for the next three days”. ALL of which could be avoided if i simply Was Out to people however if One (1) singular more person i know and care about says some truly insane bizarre and weird bullshit after i come out the way EVERY single person i have ever come out to in person in the HISTORY of my ENTIRE life has i am genuinely worried im going to snap in a way that will finally force them to put me in the psych ward

[callixton]

WEIRD OLDER QUEERS I LOVE YOUUU

[trans-estinien]

people really love to conveniently forget trans men exist when they talk about feminism. or if they dont they make us out as also part of the problem as if we somehow are able to have the same amount of privilege as cis men. absolutely wild

[abnormalpsychology]

thrilling sequel to my poll from back in January

[partyswirl]

thinking so hard i accidentally invent concepts like "forgiveness"

[eyes1nthewoods]

love when people talk about pre-cazador astarion like he was this perfect angel baby that everyone loved as though he wasnt beaten to near death by a minority group.

[oldmanfuckerbrigade]

Consider this a spiritual successor to my Re-Animator Youtubers post, but boy howdy do I love being part of niche ass fandoms that have a surface level audience of cishet guys in their 30s who’s experience with nuance in media starts and ends with knowing Raleigh wasn’t really the main character of pacrim. I’m fighting for my life in these fucking YouTube comments.

[nostalgjc]

arcane season 2 really happened. it’s all out and it’s over and it can’t be changed

[sanchoyo]

after the vehicle hunt has been a big flop (the few vehicles I was interested in drove terribly on the test drives :( and car salesmen waaaay highballing cars worths which is. A crazy thing to do when I can literally look up the average worth of a car in 2 seconds??) after going to so so many websites and irl dealers. i found a van I really really love the look of and it’s only like an hour away!! (vintage van-rv combo!! Small enough to not be insane on gas while combining my many years long obsession with having a small rv-like thing AND my nostalgia for my now gone first van…)

And the thing is actually low priced for its type… but insanely out of my budget still 10,000 more than what I have. It’s insane how much vehicles cost. This thing is like 10 years older than I am and it still costs that much?? Wanting a thing really bad will have u googling shit like what body parts can I sell legally 💀

[itsalwaysdark]

my tags on that went on for so long i had to go back and edit them to fit tag limit and i still had to delete a bunch of them. Its the autism it literally is