#i put all my mental skill points into having a specific visual idea of what cognitive dissonance looks like. and poking the concept of it

[partyswirl]

thinking so hard i accidentally invent concepts like "forgiveness"

[mekkanicalsol]

I agree with the last anon! Love any and all Dione content, she's adorable!! Really curious about that lore you mentioned, too

glad to hear!! there already has been some tidbits of it posted here such as this and that— and also kind of want to elaborate on my personal interpretations and additional ideas of ‘moons’

the lore i mentioned i want to end up visualizing stuff from much earlier in the past, to the events of MMV, and then after, and I have some key things that i already have jotted down so i’ll just drop in what i have so far. (not the best grammar since they’re notes i put down)

Moons/STN

In line with the titles, these are artificial beings in the same species category as Stardroids, entities also created by the supercomputer Ra Moon. They are specified and sorted to a corresponding commander equivalent to the planets of the solar systems and their moons– they are of a lower rank than the typical Stardroid. However, they are not Kuiperdroids either, as they are distinct in their builds and not often produced in mass. Their abilities also correspond to the schematics of their commanders, boosting their specialties to make for more effective combat. Moons don’t have the same authoritative power as their commanders, so they work with Kuiperdroids also.

Moons while not as often as a Kuiper, remain more expendable than a Stardroid, and they don’t get replaced as often, mostly because they end up lasting a bit longer. Some might just end up as materials to be connected to another.

In the Case of Dione

TW: Implied Suicide Ideation

Dione is one of many Saturn’s moons made also by RM after taking the reins over their initial creators, though a huge error and anomaly with her concerns her general structure and lack of a special ability, etc. It was unknown on how RM, a self-proclaimed perfect being ended up messing up for just specifically this creation — labeling her as a defect.

Since this was in the more earlier stages of developing their units they couldn’t be bothered to dispose of her right away nor command another to destroy her. The only thing that managed to keep her around was her skill of support/repairs. She could act as walking extra energy source to help replenish an ally, added with the fact that she made efficient repairs and maintenance.

Other than that, she had nothing to defend herself with. It was anticipated by RM (and maybe other stardroids) that she’d eventually crumble on her own at some point and there’d be no significant change after. Not only did all of this start a subtle downfall of her self worth it also grew a rather strong desire to be useful and a fear of severe disapproval from their superiors. She is especially dedicated and grateful to Saturn, however, for seeing her uses.

Anytime there was damage done to her, a crack, etc, she’d repair herself. In the process, over time, she drastically modified herself to fit her purposes (and maybe personal preferences) but somehow, never could be able to ‘fix’ her obvious errors.

As time passed on with countless battles of conquest, it also came as an expense for the other moons of Saturn and plenty of other units. Years of seeing her own perish before her very eyes or brought back as scrap, Dione’s mental state only worsened from the fact that her, a weak link barely holding on to life, was outliving so many others who were optimally able to do what she couldn’t— and that even included a sibling that she was close to.

Not wanting to be weakened or deemed an obstacle for her strange tendency to sympathize, Dione shut off most of her emotions. The desire to be useful and help her subordinates and superiors remained (especially for Saturn, who also suffered greatly from the many losses of his moons and grew desensitized), but she grew no longer concerned of an inevitable demise whether done by her own kind or through many battles to come.

She waited and even actively anticipated for her end to come sooner— but somehow, it never happened. And all she could do from then on was continuing what she did best, repairing, providing.

[thevagueambition]

21 and 29 for the fic asks?:D I would also like to ask how much Visualization you have with your writing! Do you See what everyone looks like, where they're standing , and so on? Or is it all pretty abstract, script and Big Plot stuff, and then you fill in descriptive details later as needed?

Starting with your question about visualisation, I actually don't have super strong mental visualisation skills -- that's part of what makes me want to create art, I think. Once I've drawn a character, I know what they look like!

I do sometimes have very specific ideas about body language, facial expressions and where people are in space in relation to each other, but often in a way that can be rather inelegant to try to convey in text (this is the sort of thing I'd be likely to do a sketch of because I do have a strong visual idea of it)

When I write dialogue heavy scenes, I often write out the dialogue itself first (often including gestures) and write everything in between afterwards. I do this to stay in the "flow" of the back and forth of the dialogue.

Furthermore, since I find including sensory descriptions unintuitive in most situations, that's also something I often go back and add after I've written out the rest of the scene or when I'm editing and notice something of that nature might help emphasise or relay something in the scene.

(Thinking about it right now, I'm realising that the reason I find including sensory details so unintuitive is probably because of how unobservant I am in my own life. I notice things I find particularly compelling and things that trigger sensory issues, that's more or less it lol)

21) Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

Not immediately after writing it. In general, if I've fully written something out, it's likely to make it into the fic in some form -- often at a later time or in a different context if it doesn't work where I initially put it. I do delete stuff, of course, but usually I either do that before I've spent forever on a scene or I do it if I come back to something like two years later and don't remember where I was going with that bit or why I thought it was a good idea, lol.

This also relates to how I write long form stuff -- usually I "sketch out" the next few scenes I want before I actually start writing them out so it's rare for something to make it to the fully written state without being something I judge to be relevant to the story/somewhere I want to take things

29) Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic.

I don't have any deleted stuff from Elysium I'm afraid :P

I did have a fun idea for Les Mis/Harry Potter fusion at some point, where the barricade plot (in a probably less deadly version lol) happens as a student protest at Hogwarts :P I'm unlikely to ever write more of it, but I'll put some of what I did write under the cut

Neville burst into the room of requirements.

“The Minister of Magic tried to arrest Dumbledore! Now Dumbledore's fled Hogwarts!”

For a moment, the room of requirements, which usually bustled with activity, was completely quiet.

“Dumbledore… is gone,” Harry said, and turned to face the rest of Dumbledore’s Army. “With his arrest, they’ll appoint Umbridge Headmistress. The student body will not stand for it. We can rally them when they appoint Umbridge, take over the school and remove her once and for all.”

Harry looked from face to face, suddenly feeling unsure of his plan. A few people looked dubious, but the twins and Ginny were grinning at each other, Ron looked grimly determined and Hermione was already scribbling furious notes down on a piece of parchment.

“Well?” Harry asked.

“I think you’re right, Harry,” Hermione said. “But if we’re doing this, we need a plan. We need to know what parts of the school we’re planning to occupy, what tools we need to barricade them successfully and exactly what our demands are.”

“Our demand is no Umbridge,” Ginny said.

“Yes, but who are we directing that demand to? The school board? The ministry? And how do we prove we represent the students at large? Do we get everyone to boycott classes? Do we try to get teachers on board? To suspend classes in solidarity?”

“We’ll have a few days before they officially appoint Umbridge, right? Let’s focus on getting people on board for now. Fred, George, do you still have a stash of stink bombs?”

“Yeah, but we’re running low,” Fred said.

“We can make more, though,” George said.

“Good, you two get on that now,” Harry said. “Hermione, you, me and Ron can begin to plan which parts of the castle we should focus on.”

[hmbdyyy]

Week 12

Connect CTS A to your learning and professional journey

Group mindmap

Honestly, I still struggle with deciding on what I want to pursue in the future, a lot of thinking has been done over the years deciding on which area I want to venture into that will be something that is worth the 'risk' of trying, while also leading me to a comfortable life. I have always known since the start I wanted to pursue a career that is creative and at the same time non-repetitive, in a way I am exposed to different experiences throughout the job, that is why I took on the journey of learning courses like Visual Communication and Design Communication which are kind of vague in a way they teach different modules where you gain different skills which I can one day apply into a job that requires either all of them or apply the specific skill to a job such as a Photographer or Illustrator etc.

The kind of collaborative project I would like to do would definitely involve working on something Fashion or Music related. For fashion, it would be cool to see my designs come to life on clothes a designer made, the designer could focus on the style and silhouettes they want to deliver on the clothes while I focus on the graphics and lastly coming together on deciding what materials would best deliver our creation.

One example of an illustrator I follow, collaboration with Uniqlo

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A post shared by JL (@jaeyyelle)

A project I did for a music festival in ITE

As for music, I would like to design the cover art of albums, and posters as well as work on merch. Another one would be designing for music festivals or events, which I have done before in my previous school project.

I think it would be fun working on these for the final-year projects as they best suit my interests. Firstly, I think it would be nice to see your work come to life and fun working on the collaterals. Second, the exposure and experience you get working together with clients from different industries. I think these experiences give you better insight and from there you kind of know which industry you want to design for and the kind of projects you work on.

A project I did for a mental health campaign in ITE

For Community Engagement and Professional Skills, what would always come to mind would be Mental Health. I had my fair share of it as well as heard the stories and experiences of people, friends, and families and the setbacks they face. I want to make use and contribute my design skills to create awareness around such a sensitive topic.

There is so much stigma and fear about speaking on mental health, and I believe such dated beliefs should not continue. Through my works, I wish to be the voice for those who are afraid to get help and hopefully, with the help of my designs and the Organizations/Institutions, they're able to shed light and educate everyone. Simultaneously, I would make a point to always highlight all the organizations and help that are free. Many who can't afford would often give up or are unaware as they stick to knowing that getting help in Singapore is expensive. But overtime that is slowly changing and there are places that offer help at a low cost or even free.

How CTS A might help me professionally when I apply Digital Media: Documentation for Art Practice. Firstly, it is important to document everything as it is easy for you and others to understand where the ideas derive from and their processes. Secondly, through these documentations and sketches, it can prove authenticity and not just stolen with no development shown.

The job scope of a graphic designer consists of understanding briefs and their requirements, from there visualizing and creating designs, logos, illustrations, and photos that clearly communicate the message clients want to put out for their audience.

CTS A can help me in my career when I constantly practice Critical Thinking, naturally, it would bring me bigger opportunities as I keep an open mind towards everything and can organize my thoughts in a systematic manner.

659 words

[aadyaj]

Conceptualisation and Prototyping

In order to create the trailer for 'Finding Atlantis', I first had to make sure I had various assets & a specific character design to do so. This led me to draw very baseline ideas for how the game would look. Based on feedback from the survey, the majority prefer a realistic style. Recognising my limitations as an artist, I opted to use Midjourney to generate final images for the trailer, utilizing my sketches as a reference.

SKETCHES

I started by creating the character design for the main character, Princess Althea of Corallia. The specific sketch I've labeled is, as described, before a significant transformation. I wanted to explore the idea of her willingly 'wiping' her identity as a princess, taking on a different persona for the sake of Atlantis. Since players experience the game through her eyes, I aimed for her design to carry some symbolic weight.

Being of royal status, Princess Althea typically wears gowns lacking vibrancy, mainly in monochrome shades like black. This choice symbolises the dullness of the coral, reflecting the impact of coral bleaching. In contrast, her bright, curly pink hair serves as a symbolic ode to marine wildlife, drawing inspiration from the vivid colours of fish and aquatic life, reflecting her lively personality.

A key aspect of her backstory emerged from the idea that Althea's great-grandparents originally hailed from Atlantis—a city that once stood on land but now lies submerged underwater. This ancestral connection explains her distinctive bright hair, a genetic legacy from a time when Atlantis thrived. Forced to leave due to climate change, particularly rising sea levels, her great-grandparents founded a new city. This unique heritage sets Althea apart, as everyone else in Corallia exhibits 'normal' hair colours and adheres to the monotone clothing synonymous with their community.

Afterward, I sketched some basic concepts illustrating of Atlantis. Despite my "modest" drawing skills, I had a vivid mental image of how the city should appear. The presented image depicts the remnants of the castle, now overtaken by the ocean's flora and fauna. The evident deterioration is a direct consequence of climate change, specifically the rising sea levels. It serves as an example of the potential outcomes that could arise if humanity fails to take proactive measures to address the issue.

Armed with both my character design sketches and Atlantis concepts, I now had a conceptual foundation for their visual representation. As mentioned earlier, these sketches will serve as inspiration for the final images and assets generated through Midjourney for the project.

*EDIT: Upon creating the images & actually finishing the trailer itself, I realised I never did a storyboard. This would definitely be something I would do next time as I kept forgetting my ideas for certain parts of the trailer. If I had done a storyboard it would be put here, and that is something to reflect on. I pretty much used what I had in mind and edited the trailer as I went.

IMAGE GEN.

Above are a few of the many images I generated using Midjourney with the prompt seen below:

The first image you saw was what it generated first. It was a good starting point, however, I wanted a more 'realistic' approach to her design as that is what was evident from the survey results. I used the first image and referenced it in my next prompts to get what you see following the first.

The images you see above are a few of the images generated of Atlantis itself. It loosely represents the sketches I did and I tried to stay true to them to keep it consistent. Below is the prompt I used for them:

*NOTE: I have not included all images I used for the project here, but every image used in the trailer was generated using Midjourney.

IMAGE ANIMATION

Because I obviously did not have a game coded for this project, I decided to make the trailer more 'lively' by animating the images. If I had more time, I would've probably animated each image by hand using After Effects. However, because that wasn't the case, I utilised yet another AI program, named Pika, that can animate any photo you give it, turning it into a 3-second video.

Below is the still image vs the animated version and the prompt I used.

*NOTE: I have not included all videos created that I used for the trailer here, but every one used was generated using Pika.

CHOICE OF MUSIC

I knew I wanted the trailer to be mysterious and quite somber, so I searched YouTube for an appropriate track that would also complement the images. It didn't take long until I found the perfect one:

I also decided to cut the audio down slightly for time's sake.

Additionally, I felt the audio was a bit too 'plain' and most game trailers had some sort of narration. I then had the idea to use Elevenlabs.io to create a string of narration that could overlap the music and further entice viewers. Below is that audio:

Upon creating animated videos for each image I was going to use and choosing the appropriate music, I could begin creating the trailer itself.

[kakakakashi]

Oh my fucking NSFW alphabet and me not asking for Kakashi 👀

I knew he was gonna be first. I knew it. This one is LOOOOOOOOOONG, and idk if they’ll all be this long, but I couldn’t help myself. 

*NSFW under the cut*

A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

It depends on what you did. Kakashi is a wild card when it comes to the bedroom. He likes a lot of different things, and he likes it rough most of the time. The aftercare varies accordingly, but he always makes sure that you’re good before he falls asleep. Please, do the same for him if you’re rough with him. The man will claim you don’t need to coddle him, but he’ll melt if you take care of him.

B - Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

…….. Do you even have to ask me this question? The man has called your ass proof of some god’s existence at some point or another. He’s a fan of your legs too, especially in combination with your ass, but like… It’s the booty that gets this man going every time.

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He loves a good facial. I just… I don’t know what to tell you. Like… it is what it is. You can’t convince me that it’s his favorite place to cum. Second favorite is inside you, but that’s another story.

D - Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I don’t think Kakashi necessarily has a dirty secret that he’d never tell you. He definitely takes a while to open up about things, but like, once he’s open with you and you’re open with him, anything goes. I’ll expand on this later.

E - Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Kakashi isn’t necessarily experienced regarding the number of partners he’s had. I know a lot of people think he’s a sex fiend, but I just can’t see it. I think with his mental state, his fear of vulnerability, and the self-loathing and overwhelming guilt he obviously deals with on a day to day basis, somewhere deep down in his subconscious, he doesn’t believe that he deserves to be loved in any way, shape, or formed. I feel like that’s part of why he reads Icha Icha too. Like, he wants that connection, but he believes he can never have it. That said, Icha Icha opened a lot of doors for him. I think that because of that, he does know what he’s doing. It’s how he discovered a lot of his kinks in my opinion. He’s had a few partners at certain points in his life, but not an obscene amount. However, he does know what he’s doing. The man’s done his research.

F - Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

I’m sorry. You expect him to pick one? It depends on a lot of things to him. I think he sees all the pros & cons of different positions in different situations and adjusts accordingly. I think he likes it best when you fuck him & have his legs over your shoulders, though. If he’s fucking you, though, he likes to take you from behind in front of a mirror.

G - Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Again, I think it depends on what you’re doing. Mostly, he’s serious, but he knows how to crack a joke at the perfect moment to make everything all that much better. He’s 500% going to tease you, though. That’s another story. He’s a little shit, so he’ll joke around in that sense.

H - Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Okay, unpopular opinion here. I think Kakashi rocks a bush. I honestly do. If you wanted him to trim, he will, but I don’t think he’d go bare. This is mostly because he doesn’t have anyone to impress like ever, and nobody ever sees him naked like ever. Not to mention, he doesn’t necessarily have the time to keep up with grooming when he’s on missions and such, especially if he tried to go bare. Like, he doesn’t have the time or energy to deal with preventing ingrowns and taking care of the skin irritation. Therefore, I think he’s just to the point of “You know what? Fuck it.” The man doesn’t have time for that shit. He likes as minimal effort as possible. It’s actually really hot though, and it works for him somehow. The carpet does match the drapes as well. Down there is just slightly darker.

I - Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Again, I think it just depends on the surrounding circumstances. Sex as a whole is already a really intimate experience for Kakashi. Even if it’s rough and dominant, it’s still intimate for him. When it comes to romance, it depends on the vibe between you at the moment. If he’s just come back from a mission where he’s so tired, but he missed you so much, and the both of you just want to hold each other, he’s the most romantic. However, if he’s calling you names while your cherry red ass is up in the air, it’s not necessarily romantic. However, if you’re pegging him and calling him a good boy or something in the “not necessarily romantic” category, there’s still an element of romance to it because you know that you care about each other, and that’s why you’re in the situation you’re in. You know Kakashi trusts you to make him feel good, and he knows you trust him in the same way. It’s a more of an unspoken connection where you care about each other’s pleasure as opposed to an empty rose petals and candles kind of thing.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He loves it when you make him touch himself for you. He loves to make you touch yourself for him too. Also, I have a kind of specific hc about this, and it goes with what I wrote here. So, after you and Kakashi open up about what you do and don’t like, you set up boundaries & agree to certain things & all that fun stuff. Now, if you discuss it & consent to it, even as just an rp situation or something, I can 500% see Kakashi doing something along the lines of this. When he catches you touching yourself or even just changing or naked or something. He might start jerking off while you have no idea he’s there. I feel like watching you would make him so hard, and he’d just fuckin blow if he could get away with it without you noticing. Omg, and if you punish him for being a pervert after, god, the man’s in love.

Omg, and if you heard him come in or something, but just let him fuck his hand while you put on a show for him until he’s about to come before you tell him you knew he was there the whole time, he’s gonna spill as soon as the words leave your mouth. Like, it’s just so hot to him.

K - Kink (One or more of their kinks)

I think it’s easier to list kinks he doesn’t have? Anyway, I’m just gonna do some of them. He likes pegging, dirty talk, degradation, humiliation, praise, voyeurism, exhibitionism, spanking (both heavy and light), edging, overstimulation, forced orgasms, bondage, sensory deprivation, hair pulling, and many more. Lol.

He also has some more questionable kinks including his thing for feet that’s not quite the usual fetish, but like, if you suggested giving him a foot job, he wouldn’t say no. Not to mention, if you’re being dominant, he’s kind of into you calling him a bad dog while he’s tied up on the floor and humping your leg. Whoops. Did I say that out loud?

L - Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Tbh, Kakashi loves the risk involved with potentially getting caught. Idk why, but I just have this gut feeling. Like, it really just gets his rocks off somehow. So, he’d probably like anywhere semipublic. Like, in a bathroom or against a tree while you’re away from the campsite on a mission. He’s not going to shove his hand down your pants when people are around, but he likes there to be a slight element of risk. I think he’d prefer people to hear what you’re doing as opposed to potentially seeing anything if that makes sense. Although, other than that, I do think he’s partial to the bedroom because you guys can entertain more of your kinks in the privacy of home. I mean, you can’t really peg him while you’re on a mission. Ya know.

M - Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Tbh, I think it depends. If you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, he’s stubborn, and he won’t give in. For example, if you’re on an important mission that has a lot of risks. Kakashi isn’t going to neglect his responsibilities for a quickie. If anything, I think he’d be kind of upset that you wouldn’t value the delicate nature of the situation. I also think that if anybody else tried to get him going other than his partner, it would be like talking to a brick wall. He has no patience or energy to even act like he entertains it. If it’s you, and you’re, say, at home and just existing together, the slightest thing can set him off. Just a glimpse of skin or even just a memory of you. If you wear his clothes, smile at him, or even just say his name in a specific way, he’ll be in the mood.

N - NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I don’t think Kakashi would ever use any form of ninjutsu on you. Like, I think he would be too terrified to hurt you, and it would trigger a lot in him.

In my opinion, it also takes Kakashi a loooooong time to get comfortable with you. You have to know him for years as friends before you get together. It takes a while for things to move forward. It takes a while for you guys to have sex. He definitely won’t break out all of his kinks at once. He really needs you to be patient until he’s ready to bring them up. If you try to push him too far too fast, I don’t think he’d be okay with that. However, if you’ve been with Kakashi long enough for him to really trust you 100%, I don’t think anything is really off limits.

O - Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I think we all know Kakashi’s good with his mouth. The man’s read enough smut to have countless tricks up his sleeve, and he undoubtedly pulls out all the stops to make you squirm. He’s going to find all your sensitive spots, and he’s going to abuse them until you’re so wound up you could scream. Then, he’s going to pull back just enough that you can’t get where you want and start the process over again.

However, while he loves giving, he fucking loves a good blow job. The man will be putty in your hands if you put your mouth on him. And if you let him fuck your face? Well, he’s definitely not lasting long. He loves making a mess of your face when he shoves his cock down your throat. It’s one of his favorite sights in the world.

P - Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He can go either way depending on the mood, and I also think that he uses a combination of the two in order to drag out the pleasure as long as possible with you. He’ll start out so slow, but as things heat up, he’ll pick up the pace… only to slow down again and make you want to cry. He enjoys the same treatment very much as well.  

Q - Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

You’re kidding, right? I don’t think Kakashi could ever say “no” to a quickie. The man loves them, especially if you might get caught.

R - Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

The man will try anything once. He’s so game.

S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Okay, so I think Kakashi usually only goes for one or two rounds, but he lasts for a time that’s above average. Not to mention, it also depends on what you consider a “round” because he does tend to prefer to give you more orgasms than him. He just feels that it’s what he should do. He’s really a considerate partner in my opinion, and he will keep going somehow until you’re both satisfied, even if he has to take a quick break in between.

T - Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

The man has oodles of delicious toys. He loves using them on himself and on you. He also loves when you use them on yourself and on him. Toys are something he regularly enjoys using in the bedroom with you. He thinks they just bring everything to a whole new level, and they provide lots of fun and entertainment.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

You pull out a dictionary and look up the word tease? You’re gonna find a picture of Kakashi Hatake. The man’s merciless, and it makes him so fucking smug.

V - Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

It depends on where you are and what you’re doing. He can be loud when it’s really good, but he only lets those noises out in the comfort of home. He knows how to control himself and muffle the sounds he can’t contain. However, sometimes, he can be quiet as a mouse, all labored breaths and grunts into your ear. Either way, it’s a sound that shakes you to your core.

W - Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Kakashi in lacy little panties… just… *chef’s kiss*

Also, I hc that Kakashi gets really pink & flushed while having sex. Like, it would be super cute if he wasn’t making you see stars tbh. 

X - X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I’m going to leave this art by @dianaii here. It’s exactly how I’ve always pictured that dumb dork. Also this art by @rrrotten because it’s a close second. 

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I think Kakashi’s got a weird combo here because he’s very athletic, so I think it would be above average. However, the man is depressed af, and his mental state is just a cocktail of mental issues, so I’d think it was below average. However, he reads Icha Icha all the time, so I think that would have an impact. The only thing is that Kakashi has literally said that his favorite part of the book is the plot, so what is the truth? Overall, I think he’s a really flexible partner who can really match whatever you bring to the table.

Z - ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

See aftercare. As soon as he’s sure you’re good, he’s gonna be napping. He’ll at least close his eyes and relax if his brain doesn’t quiet down enough for him to sleep, though. 

[citrineghost]

“You have to do X to be good at Y”

So, I have beef with this kind of advice. My beef with this is somewhat specific to my own experience, but I know there must be others with something similar going on, so I want to share.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a writer. I love it. It’s a passion of mine to write and world build and character build and draw and all sorts of stuff. Something I heard a lot growing up was:

“You absolutely have to read a lot of books if you want to be a good writer.”

This was easy enough when I was 12, but that was before I’d really started writing. By the point where I was writing, my ADHD had progressed to a point of being unable to focus on books. I could demolish a 300 page book in one day when I was 11, but I could barely get past the first chapter at 13. I read a fanfic every few months, but it’s still not the amount of reading that’s supposedly befitting of a professional writer.

Because of that, when I heard people say (and this is many, many people - published authors, publishers, editors, agents, you name it) that you cannot become a successful writer without reading a lot of books, it crushed me.

It made me believe that, because I couldn’t sit down and read at least 1 book every week, or every month, or even every year, that I would never stand a chance at becoming a professional writer.

The fact is, that advice is very generalizing. It’s an opinion, not a fact. What helps one writer improve may be the Achilles heel of another. Something I read recently that may be applied here is:

“A diamond may be formed under pressure, but dough must rest in order to rise.”

We can’t possibly say that everyone’s road to success passes by the same attractions and intersections. We all learn in different ways.

All of this to say, I am a natural writer. I don’t mean it in a conceited way. Writing is a hyperfixation of mine. I am naturally able to pick up new skills, perspectives, and styles. I am a natural at metaphors, analogies, and conveying emotion and intention.

To be clear, I was horrendous when I started. My writing from when I was 13 wasn’t fit for human consumption - but it had the right bones. I just needed to learn how to put those bones in the right order and bring them to life.

For many people, learning how to put together the framework of their book or story is learned through reading the works of others and breaking them down into frameworks - skeletons - and reverse engineering. For other people, like me, it is more effective to try and try and try again, learning from my own mistakes, than trying to focus on another person’s creation.

Instead of reading the work of others and using that to determine what I did and didn’t like about their writing, I read my own work, and I find what I do and don’t like about that instead.

This is perfectly fine. This method has done a world of good. In the last ten years, having read a grand total of ~10 novels, here are some things I have accomplished. I’ve:

Learned that a concept is not a plot

Learned that the gold standard outline does not work for me in the slightest and created my own type of outline instead (something different from any outline I’ve heard of before, and that has changed my entire ability to write)

Gained my own voice and writing style

Learned how to use sentence variance so that my writing doesn’t feel flat and monotone

Realized that, with ADHD, channeling passion is a much more effective road to focus than a neurotypical’s idea of ‘discipline’

 Built an entire fantasy universe that will one day become a series, which I am confident in my ability to write

Practiced my writing by writing what I’m excited about, even if that means starting literally over 50 collaborative writing projects with my boyfriend and not finishing a single one (because you don’t have to finish a project to cash in the experience you’ve gained from what you did do)

Learned how to take criticism as well as how to ignore criticism that I disagree with - because not every critique is important or objective

Become a professional content writer

Built myself a website, which is nearing completion, so that I can become a professional in creative writing, rather than content writing

I’m saying all of this because I think it’s really important for other people, neurodivergent or otherwise, to understand that there is more than one way to improve and succeed.

There is no single ‘right way’ to improve your craft. This can be applied to anything. Yes, anything. While most people say to read to become a better writer, and I do the opposite, people also say you should practice practice practice to become a better artist. I do the opposite of that as well. I don’t draw nearly as much as one might expect, given my amount of improvement over the years. I look at other people’s art and mentally download new information. I’m very visual, so this is possible for me. It might not be possible for you. That’s okay. 

You will find a way that works for you.

Don’t let other people decide for you what you need to do to be the best you can be. You will do Just Fine.

[biblio-bitch]

Detroit Evolution Commentary Pt. 3 [FINAL]

It’s been a while, sorry. Life sucks ass sometimes and I had to do some transferring to my new laptop. I’ll write down some more fun facts as an apology. Disclaimer: This is all stuff I noticed, inferred, or interpreted. I didn’t write the film, anything I’ve interpreted is just that, an interpretation based on things I noticed using my experiences and knowledge. 

Fun fact #1: I have attempted to write in a proper novel style at least five times. After watching DE and watching @octopunkmedia ‘s script breakdowns and such, I've started writing scripts instead. I’m much farther along in those than I ever have been in books. 10/10 amazing for my visual based concepts.

Fun fact #2: My mental health was rapidly declining and I was losing interest in quite literally everything at the time the film was released. Watching the film and fixating on it for a month straight not only inspired me but helped me regain control of my life. Watching streams by the cast and Michelle while I worked for school made my productivity skyrocket.

Fun fact #3: I recently developed a tic that I now can’t get rid of. It was out of control for about twenty minutes right before I began writing this post. However, when I began re-watching the film (partially because it’s a comfort for me and I’m quite honestly terrified of what’s happening in the US right now) it stopped. So that’s fun.

As usual, spoilers and swearing under the cut! Quick note: If there should be a trigger warning on this or anything else I post, please let me know! I’m horrible at remembering to tag triggers. I’ll also be doing some quick posts on Umbrella Academy and my severe obsession with Jason Todd soon. Have fun!

As usual, here’s a list of people I know the users of in case you’d like to check any of them out. I’m likely missing people so feel free to let me know who I’m missing so I can add them!

Maximilian Kroger - Nines (@ maximiliankroger)

Christopher (Chris) Trindade - Gavin (@ trindabago)

Michael Smallwood - Chris Miller (@ michaelsmallwoodforever)

Carla Kim - Tina Chen (@ carlahkim)

Jillian Geurts - Ada (@ jilbobaggins_nyc)

Michelle Iannantuono - (@ octopunkmedia)

JJ Goller - Lazzo (@ quasar.cos)

Brett Mullen - Cinematographer (@ brettmullendirector)

Austin Butts - Sound Design (@ austinbytts)

Tiare Solis - Valerie (@ tiareleiana)

So I decided to put all of the rest into this post. It’s a long one. Not even that sorry about it bc I love this film with my entire heart. Warning for me getting sidetracked. I use a lot of Supernatural references but it’s because I’m visiting my dad and he’s binge watching the show. I like Dean and only Dean, don’t bully me for it.

The Wrist Grip™️ in the bedroom before Nines moves back

Shoutout to Maximilian Kroger’s muscles u go dude

Lighting Symbolism™️, big theme through the movie, honestly I think it’s beautiful and they did a wonderful job with it.

The little nod from Gavin as he starts talking about his nightmare 

You can see Gavin gearing up to move, like not in a normal way, in a “oh god I don’t know if I have the energy to do this” way and that’s Relatable™️

The little smile from Nines as they sit together

The SHARK PLUSHIE I LOVE HIM (THE SHARK HAS AN INSTAGRAM @ sharktreuse)

Nines being domestic, making coffee and breakfast, being Soft.

Shirt change??? Either I’m blind or he’s wearing a different shirt in the morning (He is. He’s wearing a t shirt at night and a buttoned collar shirt in the morning. Perhaps he changed? He’s wearing normal pants so he probably changed but he’s not wearing that same shirt in the next scene)

Ada eye rolling at them being passive aggressive dumbasses. Same. Apparently Jillian kept fucking with them which is,, so valid. 

The lighting in this scene (the office pt. 2) makes Maximilian look Android-white and outlined in the CyberLife blue-ish color. Very symbolic, I have no idea if it was intentional.

Another shoutout, this time to Maximilian’s eyebrows, the expressiveness is *chef’s kiss*.

“You can thank me later, Casanova.” Nines: *confused Android noises* 

Honorable mention to Michael’s Foo Fighters t shirt in the bar, it’s vintage.

Nines is in fact wearing a different shirt now. Not the same shirt from the morning bedroom scene. I also think he’s wearing a different jacket. Less of a peacoat and more of a leather jacket. Nice.

Shoutout to Tina’s (not irl) wife, Valerie! And her weird crush on Hank! I honestly can’t wait to see her in Seven Deadly Synths!!

Ada DODGING the questions that Nines is asking because she is SHADY. 

Also, he looks to Gavin when he talks about wanting to be more human. Recurring theme of him perceiving himself as lacking because of his ace-ness/android-ness, like he can’t give Gavin what he wants. Honestly I know that the android thing is a thinly veiled metaphor for race in canon but I kinda like thinking of it as a metaphor for being LGBT+ and in Nines’ case, specifically ace. Might not make sense but it does in my brain??

Gavin Senses Are Tingling and Nines is GONE. Leaving the bar for ur not-bf to try to talk things out like adults??? King shit.

Also electric lighter, fun, I genuinely didn’t know those existed

SHIRT WITH UNBUTTONED COLLAR

“You don’t want to help me, you want to fix me.” What a loaded line. Because in a way, it’s almost true? Like, Nines has this entire simulation of Gavin in his ideal world, and obviously that version of Gavin has probably been idealized at least a bit. Nature of humanity, and Nines might not be human but he’s got the Brain Things. And at that moment, it’s nearly true that Nines wants Gavin to be like that ideal Gavin. Obviously Nines wants Gavin as Gavin, but there’s the edge of that simulation there, still. 

But Nines does want to help Gavin, and that’s where he’s wrong. Nines wants Gavin to get better, wants to help stop the nightmares, etc. But by pointing that out, I think it’s partially why Nines can accept letting go of Simulation!Gavin when Ada attacks him. Because he knows that the simulation of Gavin will never be the real Gavin, and this line sort of helps him understand that he can’t really keep Sim!Gavin anyways.

Again idk if that’s legit but that’s definitely something I felt from that while watching.

Nines is constantly very controlled, but when he walks away from Gavin you can see him straining to keep that composure and not let his anger show. 

Ada looking So Done With This Shit when Nines comes back from talking with Gavin outside of the bar

“I’m sure this will be like...every other time.” Oh honey. Oh my sweet child. I am so very sorry. It most definitely will not be.

Ada’s exasperated Eyebrow Raise before taking a drink. If that ain’t the mood sis.

I love Ada’s bat wings on her outfits. 

Gavin being a stalker and putting his hood up. 

“I’m...certain that most of the credit can go to you.” IMMEDIATE ANGER. Must Defend Boyfriend.

I SO WANTED HIM TO SAY “WISDOM” WHILE TALKING ABOUT GAVIN’S SKILLS BECAUSE IT WOULD MIRROR HIM TELLING GAVIN THAT HE ISN’T WISE BEFORE THEY LEFT FOR THE STAKEOUT. He didn’t, but instinct is a better word for Gavin anyways.

Nines has Suspicion™️...press X for doubt... 

*Only vaguely related rant warning*

I do feel that we as a fandom tend to make Connor almost childishly innocent despite him being likely one of the least kind and least innocent characters. The characterization of Nines in this--and pardon me for the off topic rant--where he’s a fully grown man and acts like it is so much more realistic. Nines is a cop, as is Connor. 

Even post deviancy, they were designed and equipped to handle murder. Nines, in a lot of fandom content, tends to come off as an exasperated older brother or a gritty and mean detective, or even worse, essentially a sociopath who feels nothing in contrast to Connor’s childish and extreme innocence. I dislike both. Seeing Nines be a normal fucking person is so relieving, I’m serious. There’s still those elements of ‘oh he’s only been properly alive for like a year, right? He probably doesn’t get Chris’ Casanova reference.’ but it’s not to such an extreme that it overtakes all of his personality traits.

Like, yeah, ok, I get why a lot of fandom content does that. In order to balance what we see Connor do (and in order to further push the Hank as a father line) we over-emphasize the not getting references and such. Honestly I see the same in content for Castiel from Supernatural. Nines, when he’s added, often HAS to be a lot darker in order to make that seem not as jarring and unrealistic.

Doesn’t mean I enjoy it. If you do? That’s great, good for you, but I don’t like seeing those characters be portrayed as such one dimensional extremes. People aren’t like that. On the off chance that someone is such an extreme, there’s still other aspects of their personality.

DE has done an amazing job at not flattening their personalities. Nines and Gavin are three-dimensional and incredibly interesting characters I find myself invested in every time I watch it.

*Onto the commentary again.*

Gavin is still being a stalker

“Particular fascination with the RK line” AHAHA funny. She’s also an RK, and she likely knows more than Nines because her programming is based on information gathering. Her fascination begins and ends with what their programming can do for her.

The little computer details in Ada’s eyes as she copies Nines’ OS, and again in Nines’ eyes when he’s in the alley alone. I believe Michelle did all of that and I am just amazed every time I watch. 

The warped voice effect.

Gavin shifting to hold Nines as soon as he passes out

The ethereal colored lighting is very good for the mood, space hospital vibes

Shoutout to the latex suit they put Maximilian in! That’s not CG! He’s wearing a full body white latex suit. I’m so sorry.

Gavin looks so tired talking to Dr. Maria. His posture is defensive, pulled into himself. Shoulders hunched, arms pulled in. Eye bags, messy hair. Boy looked messed up. Somebody hug him.

Nines’ hair being disheveled and messy in the corrupted Zen Garden, rivaling his assertion that in his ideal world (Aka the normal Zen Garden) his appearance is polished, signifying the loss of control and the loss of the Zen Garden being a safe, ideal space for him. Same concept with Sim!Gavin being corrupted.

Nines: *wakes up in his mindspace*

Also Nines, immediately: GAVIN!!1!!1

Nines believes in CONSENT!! You do not go into someone’s program without asking, ADA.

Ada’s “poor widdle baby” face as Nines is freaking out because she trapped him. Mood.

Tina wearing a low turtleneck and a flannel is Peak Gay, especially next to Gavin “I wear the same leather jacket+hoodie combo every single day and probably the same jeans for a month” Reed, aka the most disastrous and chaotic bisexual I have ever seen. Again, a mood, I honestly felt that one.

The face when Nines realizes that Ada isn’t deviant yet. 

Gavin is blaming himself somebody stop this idiot. 

“Not without Nines.” What a softie.

“The last thing I said to him was ‘I don’t need you’.” BITCH WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART.

Gavin calling Tina “T” in that soft voice is so sweet omg

Ugh the bisexual LIGHTING is KILLING ME, ESPECIALLY as Gavin sits at Nines’ bedside

Tina encouraging Gavin. WLW/MLM solidarity. 

Fun fact: Chris Trindade told Maximilian not to react at all to the big speech but Maximilian literally started crying during it and there’s footage somewhere of the Dramatic Single Tear rolling down his face while he’s still ‘in stasis’.

Yes, I double checked the streams to make sure I got this right, I love the concept though.

Look I cannot get into the speech because I will write 1.5k words on it, but I will say this: It made me cry. The acting, the writing, it’s iconic. The amount of love and devotion they got without even saying the words “I love you” was amazing. Chris is so very talented. 

THERES A TAKE WHERE GAVIN FALLS ASLEEP NEXT TO NINES’ HOSPITAL BED AKSDGAKL IM SCREAMING

Tina is the best wingman ngl

The glitches in Zen Gavin are amazing. The sequence when he’s deleting the Zen Garden is also amazing. I use amazing a lot but it’s deserved.

Nines deleting the Zen Garden and Sim!Gavin is very symbolic of letting go of all of the fake stuff, letting go of the fear he was holding that kept him from confessing to Gavin and I love that

Nines sitting silently straight up. 

Gavin is highly intelligent and I’m so glad Octopunk embraces that. 

*another vaguely related rant warning*

Ok let me tell y’all a thing because this RUINS MY LIFE. People tend to take characters like Percy Jackson or Dean Winchester, whose intelligence isn’t outwardly obvious from the get-go, and remove it entirely. Percy is reduced to an idiot who can’t tie his own shoes and Dean is often shown basically unable to research without Sam. Both of those are bullshit. 

Percy has ADHD and Dyslexia, so when often we categorize smart as only book-smart, Percy’s intelligence as a battle strategist and his actual knowledge gets erased. Dean is usually the more physical and shoot-first-never-ask-questions type, and his intelligence is severely downplayed. He made an EMP detector from scratch. Made a shotgun, remembers how to kill things, is a very good hunter, especially on his own. But that’s thrown away because he’s not book-smart.

I despise when people take characters who are talented and smart in ways that aren’t just reciting the periodic table and reduce them to muscles and angst or drooling children. 

Octopunk having a scene where Gavin is working through a case, already having done the things that Chris, someone who was only recently promoted, suggests, is just affirming Gavin’s intelligence in a way I wish I could be not surprised by. Gavin is smart, and luckily I haven’t seen much downplaying that fact. He’s a detective for a reason. Unfortunately I think it might be because the fandom tends to turn Connor and Nines into actual children, but a win is a win.

Now I’m not saying I don’t love a good himbo character but I literally had to stop interacting with Percy Jackson content because people wrote him as incapable.

*Moving on*

“I think I can help with that.” Bitch why are you so dramatic I love him so much.

Nines’ t-shirt says “Detroit City Marathon” 

“You...undead asshole.” What an iconic line. I need a t-shirt. 

“I...hate you.” “You love me.” Harkens back to the beginning where the roles are reversed. Yes I used that unironically. Words are fun.

Gavin looking scared right before The Kiss™️ 

THE PULSE POINT!! THE SCENE WAS SUPER EMOTIONAL SO MICHELLE WANTED THEM TO DO YOGA ZEN SHIT TO PREPARE AND THEN THEY JUST DID THE THING BUT THEY PUT IN THE PULSE POINT 

ANYWAYS THAT’S WHAT GAVIN IS FEELING FOR ON NINES’ WRIST RIGHT BEFORE THE KISS.

I thought that was cute when I learned it in one of the streams.

Nines’ LED spinning blue when they finally kiss asgladkaf 

“What dipshit programmed you to do that?” “I’m the most advanced android ever made, detective-“ “oh you are such a fuckin’ prick!” “Takes one to know one.” I canNOT with them, I laughed my ASS off

The little broken laugh Nines does

Nines rubbing his hands over Gavin’s while they talk about Gavin’s jacket

Shoutout to Chris’ surprised pikachu face. (Tina is also there) That was a joke take, it’s in the gag reel, too. The face wasn’t supposed to make it into the film but Michelle added it. (In the gag reel, Carla yells “Let’s go to Denny’s!” At the end.) 

And Ada’s leather pants. Honestly?? She’s so pretty. I love her. They’re all really attractive it’s actually terrifying.

Nines and Tina being a part of the Gay Turtleneck Gang

Nines’ untucked turtleneck

Tina being a Smart Girl. (Nines calling her “Officer” and her replying with “I’ll make detective someday.”

Chris being Exhausted during the whole meeting. Me too dude.

Chris and Tina doing literally nothing while Gavin and Nines have a whole heart to heart

The WHITE COAT. Tina in her blues. Chris’ Foo Fighters shirt. They’re such icons but they absolutely look like a group of gay ppl who did NOT decide on a theme.

The fight sequence is impressive, considering that they’re literally not stunt actors. I’m not a fight choreographer or stunt person so That’s really all I have to say on that.

Chris patting Gavin’s gun after he explains what he’s doing. \

As a Jason Todd lover the crowbar is unfortunate (had to, sorry)

Nines’ smirk and the TURTLENECK as he spins away from Ada with the crowbar. Iconic. The Big Dick Energy. Especially for someone who doesn’t have a dick.

Chris being a Dad when Gavin runs off to go stop the body calibration

Ada just YEETS Gavin. Iconic.

Ada: *doing the villain “you won’t shoot me, you’re too moral” thing*

Chris: Shut the fuck up *shoots her*

Deviancy sequence, iconic

“You’re awake now” bitch get your own tag line, Markus became Robot Jesus for this shit

He’s HOLDING HER HAND while DEFENDING HER!! PLATONIC HAND HOLDING

Gavin trusting Nines’ decision immediately. Amazing. THAT’S LOVE BITCH.

The SMILES after Ada leaves!! They know they made the right choice!

Ugh the COLOR SYMBOLISM!! This is one thing that Michelle has touched on herself! Gavin isn’t wearing white in this scene because he’s not ‘fixed’, he never will be! He has trauma and he’s just barely beginning to heal from it with Nines’ help. He’s wearing grey, lighter than his usual, but still grey because they aren’t pure or innocent and they’re not perfect!! And that’s the fucking point!! It’s also a contrast against Sim!Gavin wearing white! Sim!Gavin was an idealized version of Gavin in Nines’ idealized world!! Real Gavin isn’t that!! So he’s wearing grey!!

Gavin immediately understanding that Nines is Ace and that it’s ok!! Beautiful!

“You’ve been a whole person since the day you woke up” YES!! YOU DO NOT NEED SEX TO BE WHOLE!! FUCK YEAH!!! (this is ace excitement. In the months since writing this I realized I’m aro-ace and trans so fuck yeah for ace rep.) 

Gavin being a dick and making Nines tell him about the skin thing

THE KISS!! They slowly move more into the light!! Because they’re getting better TOGETHER!!

Ok before I sign off, it’s only 3 am so I think I’m awake enough to talk about this, I like that they bring up that Gavin has like, actual issues that he needs to get through. Let’s be 100% honest here, I see Gavin as having ADHD, depression, and probably a form or symptoms of PTSD. He’s kinda fucked up and I’m gonna be real here he needs some therapy. He’s got trauma and needs to work through it. 

I like that at the end they explicitly have Nines understand and accept that that’s what needs to happen. As someone who has actually had relationships ruined because of trauma (on both sides) that we were unprepared to work through together, if I had seen something like that? Game changer. As it was, most relationships I had seen were idealized and seemed to “fix” those issues by way of just being in a relationship. Thanks major media. 

Now that the Detroit Evolution post series is over, I’m gonna be a bit sentimental and say that this film quite literally changed my life. Seriously. Michelle is such a big inspiration for me and I can only hope to be the same for someone else. 

If you ever have a chance to check out any of the amazing people who worked on this film, please do. To put into context how big this was: I changed my ideal college major from Forensics to Film. 

That’s it that’s all, ending this post at 3:24 am before I literally start crying over it. Thanks for suffering through my long-winded explanations, I hope you enjoyed. Have a wonderful day.

[thedreadvampy]

So this was sent to me by @atiredpan weeks ago when the White Jon conversation was very live and I'm posting it (belatedly) with their blessing (they didn't want to put it up publicly and have it seem like an attack which I really very much appreciate but wouldn't have minded) and I percolated for a few days and then got very busy for a few weeks. Response follows.

So I feel weird about how I'm responding to this stuff, I'm launching rapidly into taking about/explaining my own experience in a way I'm worried maybe comes across as a direct comparison. It kind of feels like I'm talking in a way that's like brushing off your experience and saying OK BUT HERE'S WHY I'M RIGHT and that's not what I'm trying to do, it's just that there's not much I can usefully add to what you've said - you know your experience better than I do, and I'm not gonna go around trying to read into it or reexplain it. So I'm going to talk about where I am/have been coming from, but not with the intention of countering your points, all of which I think really resonate.

First off, the post where I was like "Jon is white and if you disagree you're Wrong" was, unreservedly, just a shitty post and I'm not suprised it upset a lot of people. I'm really very sorry about that, it was thoughtlessly written and pretty stupidly posted.

I totally get that my whiteness has fed into how I hced Jon (and as I think I've said before I saw Jon a certain way well before I engaged with any fanworks, just as you did). There's a lot of reasons I imagined Jon as white from pretty early on, a non-negligible one of which was like...That's Jonny. This is a podcast by Jonny, about a character with the same name and mannerisms as Jonny, and Jonny is extremely white. It would have felt weird, when I was listening to TMA as a Friend Podcast, to stick a brown face onto what at least appeared at the time to basically be a self-insert character of my white friend. Now that's a really personal thing informed less by the story and more by the circumstances under which I've interacted with it, but it certainly laid a baseline. I didn't really have a clear mental picture of Jon (or most of the characters) for a looooooong time (for an artist I'm really not a very visual thinker) but I had a few sort of mental sketches (Jon is short white balding and awkward, Martin is tall biracial and scruffy Basira is fat and somali Melanie is my friend from work etc) which I developed a long time before I encountered fanworks.

I saw the alienation you mentioned and I connected it to class and gender, not race, because I’ve met a lot of cis men, white and otherwise, who interpolate trauma, class insecurity, insecurity about their own abilities, and so on into withdrawal, denial and snappiness. So for me I had an interpretation of that element of his personality which was pretty much race-neutral, and then I had these existing cues leading me to assuming he was white (largely that Jonny is white, but also wee stuff in the story that...it’s not like anything substantial enough to remember, let alone justify, but there were certainly interactions that pinged whiteness for me personally)

There are actually iirc a few throwaway references to Jon being promoted above more qualified candidates throughout (or at least I thought I knew that before s5), but the time I decided I thought White Jon was an obvious conclusion was of course the conversation where Sasha expresses frustration about it. and the context of that conclusion (at least as far as I can see) wasn't "people of colour can only exist in subservient positions/defined by oppression" but was informed by two things that were going on with my life around the time that episode aired

I had been having several conversations with friends of mine (and largely friends of Jonny's) who work in London in the museums/archiving sector and who are the only women of colour in whole departments or even whole museums, and who experience so little career mobility compared to their less-qualified white counterparts (we're talking about women graduating top of their class at Oxbridge with anthropology or library science masters and stellar original research, with a decade or more of impeccable work experience and acting up, being left in internship and low-grade positions, while white men who "fit the culture" but have 0 museums experience sail into upper management positions and then stay there until they retire). So I'd come almost directly from these conversations into what to me sounded like exactly the same gripe in TMA.

I'd been at that point working for about a year and a half on co-coordinating the anti-oppression committee in my workplace, which was a very Good Progressive Activist Charity with Good Lefty Principles, and over the course of experience sharing and discussions both with colleagues of colour and along lines of wealth, disability, class etc, I was very much confronted with the realisation of how much 'being adequately qualified' meant different things for middle-class good-university white men vs much more highly skilled and hardworking women of colour or people of different class and wealth backgrounds. Obviously I'd known that before in principle, but not really having been in Salaried Workplaces (as opposed to like. service and retail hourlies) I hadn’t got so up close and personal with it. So that was also very fresh in my mind, this like...big substantial experience of how Good, Well-Meaning, Caring, Thoughtful, Woke white men just........did not need to think about this. at all. and were startled and discomforted to face it. and that this was also true of most white middle-class women. and these conversations were really carved down the middle between white middle-class European women saying ‘this is such a surprise when we have such an equitable hiring policy and diverse staff, that there’s this gender gap’ and women of colour in the room wearily saying ‘yeah, there’s a gender gap, there’s always a gender gap and it is always a racialised gender gap’ so yeah I was definitely thinking about the intersection between being passed over at work because of gender and because of race.

The point about Tim is interesting because I think for me what’s getting lost is that I don’t think Jon is entitled as like...a Character Trait. He’s not like...Toxic Masculinity Man. He is very anxious about boundaries and about his own capacity to do harm. But it has to be pointed out to him where he’s doing harm. He doesn’t notice where he’s been unfairly advantaged, and that’s to me much more reflective of most people’s relationship to white or male entitlement. 

As I say, that exchange with Tim and Sasha cemented the Jon Is White hc in my head specifically because it was so reflective of conversations I had had with women of colour working in similar workplaces, about white men, usually about white men they generally liked or at least didn’t have beef with beyond their unfair advantages. 

It seems odd to me to frame ‘bitching about your boss on your friend’s behalf to make her feel better’ as more similar to white entitlement/white privilege than any of that tbh? That’s just...being friends with someone? 

Anyway I recognise that it’s not white entitlement to accept a job. Obviously it’s not, it’s just sensible under the circumstances, you get lucky and you grab it. For me my sense of Jon as white-because-of-this is not “he took a job he shouldn’t have taken,” it’s more about his obliviousness to the impact he has on others, and also primarily how people react to him. The interaction between Sasha and Tim is saturated with the of course it would be him I mentioned above, but even before that he walks through the world not expecting to have to think about anything but his conscious decisions, and he’s caught aback when people see him as out of place or as having power above his station.

I think it’s impossible to extricate ‘this is where my head was at’ from that interpretation, and also like obviously my own whiteness is a big factor. And not just my own personal whiteness but the place I grew up (which was 98.3% white) and the world which reflects back whiteness. So this is in no way intended as a bolshy This Is The Correct Headcanon the way my Bad Post was bc examining it I’m like...yeah I mean this is about how I personally interpreted this based on where I was at at the time. But I do feel like there’s some communication gap in what it is about this unqualified promotion thing that pinged me - it’s not that All Bosses Must Be White And All Brown People Must Be Downtrod, it’s something quite specific about the tone and tenor of the interactions around the getting-a-job.

But also? Idk. Kind of unrelatedly, and people obviously should feel free to disagree with me on this, it feels kind of off to frame this as defaulting to a white Jon? I sort of think that my idea of Jon as white is very much not ‘white until proven otherwise’ - part of the reason for my original strident tone was that I felt that I was being expected to drop a headcanon I had for specific reasons and default to the fanon version of Jon without actually having any reason other than ‘this is how the community thinks he should look,’ and without really understanding anything about what that means, and while obviously defaulting to a non-white headcanon isn’t like...entrenched in the way that defaulting to a white headcanon is, it does seem to me like this is perhaps part of why white fans slap brown skin onto a character without thinking into what that means or why they’re doing it.

The thing I’m struggling with as regards my personal headcanon here is that I could decide to only ever draw Jon as Fanon Jon, but it wouldn’t be because I had strong reasons to see him that way, it wouldn’t be the same as why you see Jon as brown, or why I see like...Melanie as Indian, it would literally be Default To Standard in a way it isn’t for you. And I don’t feel that I have Defaulted To Whiteness, or where I have it is for reasons specifically to do with Jon (I visualised Jon as white because I visualised him as Jonny, who is white), not because I think every character is White Until Proven Otherwise. Like, my reasons for understanding Jon as white may be bad reasons, but they are reasons, not post-hoc excuses (I can’t like...prove that. but I know it to be true at least on a conscious level). I didn’t go Oh Jon Is White Because Everyone Is Unless I Have Reason To Think They Aren’t, Hooray, Here Is A Post-Hoc Justification For Why It Isn’t Racist To Think That. So while I am totally on board with the idea that it may be shitty, harmful or poorly thought through to hc Jon as white, I’m not sure I can fully see it in myself as being default. But I do understand that that isn’t necessarily what came across in my original short post.

Honestly, the reason I took issue with Fanon Jon and Fanon Martin in such a bolshy way in the first place was that I didn’t get why these characters were universally seen as Asian and white, respectively, and had such strong and consistent fanon images, when none of the other characters did, and when I was seeing people drawing people like Sasha and Melanie and Tim as white way more when in my mind there was no reason to assume they were white. On an emotional level I guess I think either there’s Fanon As Lore, or there’s no fanon (and I prefer the latter) and my discomfort came from the place that the one character I absolutely saw as coded as white in the core cast had this one really specific Ambiguously Brown Fanon Look (which from what I’d seen at the time didn’t seem to be like...backed with anything or coming from any personal interpretation for most of the white fans I was seeing on like Twitter and Tumblr) but white headcanons are everywhere for characters like Melanie or Sasha or Georgie, who seemed to me to be unambiguously people of colour, or characters like Tim or Martin (who could perfectly reasonably be people of colour and who I hc as Rroma and biracial respectively)? I don’t know, it’s difficult to express, but I find it frustrating.

[likeawildthing]

in terms of design advice, any ideas for a broke college student apartment room? 💕💕

college is a weird time because you are kind of a grown up but also definitely not! and your interests and tastes will change so rapidly in the next few years. so honestly it’s a great time to experiment and be creative. this advice all depends on your particular space, but in any small space everything that can be double duty, should be double duty (night stand is also a tv tray/laptop tray, art is also bulletin board or jewelry holder), the more uses you can get out of something, the better! going vertical on the walls where you can get away with it is amazing. here are a few easy and cheap ways to upgrade and some basic design principles:

take this design quiz to find out your style (plug in a fake email) and then google or pinterest away. you’ll see repeat themes (for ex. major bohemian trend is macrame, which easily DIYable, or MCM is all about legs and clean profiles). maybe that would be fun post - to highlight different styles and trends. but here are some upgrades that translate to any design style for cheap:

PLANTS

don’t go to a nursery and drop a hundred dollars you don’t have. a plant or two or three you really love will change the vibe of the whole space, and give you something to take care of, which is ofc good for your mental health. tips for getting plants and planters on the cheap!

think of a relative or friend who already has houseplants and ask for free ones next time they’re splitting. i literally did my entire garden this way in my first place. 

look on like FB marketplace or whatever your swap site is because people are often selling plants or cuttings for a discount.

i have literally split the cost of a plant with a friend and then split it in half, like a baby before Solomon

pothos plants of any kind are easy to take care of and can split into smaller plants pretty regularly.

succulents are usually a few dollars at the store and everyone loves them! start with one simple succulent.

herbs! if you get herb garden seeds or plants you literally make what you eat!

if you have pets, make sure they are pet friendly.

i do not spend a lot of $$ on planters! i use terra cotta because 1. they’re cheap as hell and 2. cute! some of my favorite planters are terra cotta pots kristina painted for me! you can also thrift pots, which i would encourage, or reuse food containers by putting small holes in the bottom. 

create hanging plants by making yarn macrame holders! youtube is your friend on this! you can get a ceiling hook for like $3 if it’s a solid ceiling (drywall) and super easy to patch up when it’s time to leave.

ART

function + form. something organic that you can change out inspiration or art, like a cork or inspiration board (look on like a varage sale or in a thrift store for this).  you can get four12x12 cork boards from target for $7 and create something like this from two of them, which is in and of itself a piece of art (and you can take it down w/out damaging walls)

other cheap things i have done for art:

calendar or magazine pages in thrifted frames  (my favorite cheap tricks is to get matte black or white craft paint for $1.25 from wm or target and paint a bunch of odd frames to unify them)

a picture ledge like this from ikea is your best friend because you can interchange the art to be whatever you want!

embroidery hoop fabric bulletin boards

seriously, posters are cool. get a cheap poster online and hang it with washi tape. it’s not precious. if you want something more grown up, try to thrift a frame for it for cheap. if you don’t like the color of the frame, paint it! if you can’t hang something heavy like this on the wall, use command velcro strips OR set it on top of a dresser or bookcase and lean it against the wall.

i love tassels and buntings. just google either of those and you’ll get thousands of cheap ideas. in my last bedroom i just had a bunting i cut and made over my bed and it acted like a bedframe and i loved it.

just free prints from the internet hung up with little clips like this ($2 from target) or bulky push pins – those holes are so easy to patch!

when my kids were little until two weeks ago i had an entire wall covered with their artwork. i’m saying maybe go to the thrift store, get some ugly canvases with your friends, and have a painting party. everyone brings a $4 thing of acrylic paint and a brush and have a party. good memories + new art for everyone. swap at the end!

pictures! actually print out those pictures and tape them to the wall with washi tape. you can also do something like this with push pins for as big or small as you want to make it (i have this in my living room

here’s a proper primer on the 7 elements of design, but you can skip that and go here if you want!

BALANCE

white space and focal points. in the same way that you need to break up one massive wall of text into digestible paragraphs, you also need to break up the focus in your room. a FOCAL POINT is a statement area in your room (i.e. the window, over your bed, your desk) that your eye is drawn to, and where you want your eye to be drawn to. ideally rooms should have ONE focal point (that’s like the adverb room for writing) but in a dorm apartment, that isn’t practical because it HAS to be multifunction. the important takeaway is that white space on your walls is okay, and important. it gives you a soft space to land, visually, which is important in making you feel more relaxed and even productive.

groupings – grouping like with like makes great sense organizationally AND design wise. a collection of postcards will look amazing on the wall together rather than spread around the room. 

LAYERS

adding layers can make a space feel luxurious – curtains, rugs, extra throw pillows or an extra blanket on your bed or chair. plants are great for this, but fabrics and baskets can add another layer. these can be pricey so i would a. raid your mom’s house if that’s an option and ask if she needs ‘x’ rug or curtains anymore. you can also thrift curtains for cheapppp or even look for clearance fabric – once you wash the curtains they really are safe to use. clearance frabric can be hemmed without being sewn and hung with curtain rings if you need to. and $5 tension rods can work as a curtain rod inside a window frame if needed. i could do a whole post on this but a cheap rug next to your bed and something soft on a window can do wonders!  dude i have also bought cheap cotton weave cloth from walmart and used rit dye to make turqoise curtains and i loved for years. see also: RIT DYE

so decorative pillows are expensive as HELL but regular, cheap pillows are like $4. i get cheap fabric or thrift fabric and sew my own, which you could do by hand, really, and use the pillow stuffing to make it. ikea also sells great cheap pillow covers! 

COLOR

gosh there are no hard and fast rule here but here is a great primer series on color theory for design that you can translate to your room

simplifying a color palette will feel more calming to you, and so will using cool colors like blues and greens. but again, no hard and fast rules. repeat a color or element (shape, pattern) throughout a room 3x (ex. i have a blue rug and that same blueish tone is in a chair and also on a bookshelf. they don’t have to be the same blue, just color family, and it makes it all seem more intentional)

HOW TO DO IT CHEAPLY

buy secondhand. there are entire thrift makeover and upcycle youtube channels that are amazing! same for diy blogs. 

reuse and repurpose what you have. i turned a dvd player box into a toy oven for my kids and they used it as a play kitchen for four years. my bookshelf that stores our games in my living room was $12 from salvation army - i just painted it and added casters for $15. my dresser was a thrift from the REstore, a habitat for humanity store. my end tables are actually butcher block pieces that were in my dad’s factory for forty years. i love bringing old things back to a different life. and you don’t always need a ton of tools to do it.

barter and trade. i traded a one of my kid’s dressers for the hutch that holds our toiletries outside of our upstairs bathrooms. 

sell and repurchase something that works for you. i sold my old bookshelves on fb marketplace and bought another that actually works better. this isn’t applicable to everyone!

make muffins for someone in exchange for their sewing skills or knowledge. i’m teaching my friend to sew right now! libraries often have classes and such to learn new skills.

OK so i have rambled enough. i could ramble more. i hope this gets you started and if you have more specific or follow up questions, on this or organization side of things, let me know! remember these are all just guidelines and the most important thing is having a space you love, that makes you feel comfortable and that you’re proud of and happy in. comparing yourself to others isn’t always the best and you can make it a space you love no matter where you are. 

[neurodiversitysci]

Ideas for a mom with decision fatigue

A mom named Emma Marris listed every decision her kids asked her to make that required a decision, on a single day. 

She concluded that decision fatigue is real and constant in her life as a mom.

I empathize. Even without children, I suffer from daily decision fatigue at work, school, even at home (when finding places for things and cleaning up). 

I wonder, though, if she could frame the problem, and respond to it, in a way that would make her life easier.

I get the impression that Emma does not believe she has a choice. Even the title of the post reads, “Every decision my kids made me make in one day.” She seems to believe the decisions must be made, by her, right now. 

I know it doesn’t feel that way, but you’re the mama, you’re the boss, and ultimately, you get to decide whether to make a decision or not. (I know, that’s another decision). 

Looking at her description of the sort of questions her kids asked, what strikes me is:

1) Most of these decisions don’t matter.

In other words: If she doesn’t make the ideal decision, the consequences aren’t serious. The child won’t even remember for long.

Can we have waffles? Can we have chocolate chips in the waffles? 

Can I mix it? Can I measure the baking powder? (Worse case scenario: a mess, which kiddo might help clean up).

Will you turn up the music?

Which of these games should we play?

OK, some of them matter a little, like “can we have ice cream for lunch?” (I doubt the answer required a lot of thought). Parents concerned about screen time might care about “can I play on your phone until you wake up?” 

But even where there are potential health consequences, making the wrong decision a few days won’t put the child in the emergency room or on a therapist’s couch. 

What matters is patterns of decisions over years.

2) Many of these decisions, the children can make for themselves. IMO, they should. 

Examples include pretty much any question that doesn’t specifically request the parent to do something, such as:

Which card should I play?

Can I watch x kid’s show?

Where is my coat?

It’s not my business to tell someone how to parent. That said, here’s an important general principle:

The more small, unimportant decisions children make in their lives, the more practice they will have making choices. The more practice they get, the more prepared they will be to make decisions when the consequences actually matter. 

School doesn’t seem to offer enough opportunities. As a result, Tumblr seems full of teenagers and young adults frantically trying to choose a major and career with no idea how to begin.

3) When decisions affect other people, the children’s decisions will have consequences. By experiencing others’ reactions, children can learn cause and effect and negotiation skills.

Can we listen to Dynamite by Taio Cruz instead of this podcast about the Mueller investigation while we make breakfast?

Let’s say Child 1 wants to listen to Dynamite over breakfast, and turns it on. Child 2 wants to listen to something else, and complains. Or Mom wants to listen to the news, and complains. Child 1:

a) Learns Child 2′s or Mom’s current preferences. (And over time, Child 2′s or Mom’s preferences in general).

b) Has the opportunity to negotiate for what they want. (Probably the easiest for a young kid will be something like “one of us listens to this now/the other one chooses what to listen to next”).

4) Mom needs a brain break. If she takes one, she can set an example of self-care!

If I were her, I would tell those little ones, 

“Mom needs a break right now. Please ask me again in [5, 10, whatever] minutes.” 

(It’s important to set an amount of time that’s possible for someone at the child’s stage of development to wait. It probably won’t be enough, but any break is better than none).

Especially at first, and when very young, kids will keep asking. She’ll have to repeat herself. That might feel frustrating and discouraging, but the effort won’t be a failure! She’ll get a slight reprieve, and her kids will learn that:

a) Sometimes people need breaks.

b) When people need a break, they can ask for it. 

c) When people need a break to rest, they shouldn’t be interrupted unless it’s an emergency.

d) When the break is over, people will be happier, nicer, and more fun. (This is the reward).

Of course, poor Emma will have to explicitly, repeatedly, explain what’s an “emergency” question, and what questions can wait. “Back in my day,” parents had rules like this for when they were on the phone. (And when there was an important program on TV or radio, because you couldn’t record back then). 

Kids tend to over-estimate what counts as an “emergency.” So she’ll have to explain, repeatedly and in different ways, that “Fire” or “someone is bleeding a lot” is an emergency, but “I want a popsicle” or “My sister’s looking at me funny” is not. 

Eventually, children will learn what’s an emergency and what isn’t, and gain a concept of “relative urgency” or “relative importance.” 

Emma may need to set a timer, because young kids, and many neurodivergent ones, haven’t developed a sense of time. Ideally, the timer will have a visual as well as an auditory component (such as a Time Timer). Children will stop asking “how much time is left?” if they can see the answer. Eventually, they’ll get used to the process of using a timer, and maybe improve their sense of time. 

Finally, in the process of waiting through Mom’s break, kids can learn how to wait. Waiting is a skill. Perhaps even multiple skills. For example, young kids who can wait for a reward may use strategies, like distracting themselves (see: research on the “marshmallow test”). 

Learning to wait is a win for:

a) The child. They’ll find waiting less painful, and get less negative feedback from adults.* 

b) The mom, who can regain some mental energy. 

c) The child’s teachers. If you’ve observed a classroom with children about ages 3-7, you’ve probably seen that teachers constantly stop the class to ask students to be quiet.

*You know that famous statistic about how children with ADHD get thousands more reprimands than children without ADHD? How much it harms their mental health? Imagine how much of a difference it’d make to reduce the number of reprimands a young child gets, whether ADHD or neurotypical.

Obligatory note about how my advice applies to neurodivergent kids:

Emma doesn’t say whether the children are neurotypical. They probably are. Given my life experiences and audience, I still want to point out: 

A lot of these “life lessons” will take longer for a child with ADHD to learn than a neurotypical child. That “developmental delay of 3 years” that Russell Barkley talks about is real. (Although, the exact size of the delay probably varies from person to person).

That makes it all the more important to start teaching them early (and gently!). 

However, children with ADHD also stand to benefit more from teaching. People with ADHD are especially likely to suffer from decision fatigue. If Mom models coping skills like taking a break, children will ADHD will have strategies to try.

TL;DR Conclusion:

Emma, you don’t have to make so many decisions. In fact, you’ll probably be a better parent by delegating more small choices to your little ones, and by taking decision-making breaks. 

Hang in there! 

If I could, I’d gladly play with/take care of your little ones for a while while you take a much-needed rest.

[tatertotthethot]

Haaay Baaaeee, ew that was cringe 😂 OK so, I feel kinda beat down at the moment? Today is one of those days where I'm sick in bed and just binge watching YouTube and I stumbled across this channel that did a watch/read review on After(that Harry Style's FanFic turned book turned movie series) now I've never been into it but it's a solid over 30min long video and I wanted to kill time, so I'm watching it. I made the mistake of reading through the comments as the reviewer was on a tangent about the book and I started reading people saying a lot of nasty things about FanFic writers. And specifically people who write fanfic about real people. I even saw some recently comments about BTS in there and I just couldn't switch off my phone and stop reading. I dabble in writing myself and it just broke me down. Are we really that creepy and wrong for writing and enjoying fanfic over really people? (in this case BTS) They were bashing everyone from OC's, Self-inserts, shipping EVERYTHING. I felt so gross seeing so many people indirectly (but very much directly?) felt about me, my mutuals and people I look up to in the fanfic community. I even saw some fanfic writers saying how much better they are because they only write about fictional characters not real life people! Sorry just feeling really blue about this and it's just brought a whole new level of self doubt on me and what I enjoy 😣

Oof I remember reading “After” when it was growing popular on Wattpad and I only read it cuz of its clout and... no hate.. but I still can’t believe they made until a movie even though it’s a lot different than the book lol. But Omg I know exactly what you’re talking about and yes it pisses me off too. It’s local mentality tbh lol. I know some people write fan fiction just for smut but that’s merely on the surface— if they actually dug deeper into the millions of literal stories that star idols without automatically deeming it as “creepy” then they’ll be able to detach the actual persona away from the character and realize it’s just a way of using a persons face and name, and the inspiration from an idol that we love and support and interpreting that into something we’re more passionate about. Mostly just using the “idea” of them as a way to excorsize our creative writing skills. They’ll also see that when an idol is used as the main character in these stories than it’s already 10 times easier to visualize their characteristics and become invested being as they’re already familiar— and it makes the story itself all the more riveting. But what they don’t realize or seem to even care about us that at the end of the day, fan fiction ain’t hurting nobody. I see that shit on Twitter all the time. If we’re not getting criticized for writing famfics in general then we’ll get criticized about how we portray them. Ironically one of my favorite nsfw artists threw shade at writers here recently saying that it’s so unappealing and unrealistic when they see a certain member smoking cigarettes and having a bad attitude and I sooo badly wanted to point out how ironic it was that someone who can draw a member getting fucked by a 6 dick’d incubus clone of himself, draw the line at bad boy tropes that smoke cigarettes in fanfics and basically say that it’s ridiculous and therefore “off putting”. Like if it’s not your cup of tea fine, but for some reason I was under the impression that they were apart of a judgemental free zone as they could empathize enough to not bash other people’s form of creativeness just because it doesn’t appeal to them? At least not publicly, on an account with hella followers that has a good bit of writers following them? But thankfully I had already seen people say that a character is a character and doesn’t have to be true to the actual person, and that’s something that also needs to be said to ppl who frown upon fanfic writers in general. Don’t generalize an entire group based off the little bit of cringe shit you’ve read. There’s THOUSANDS of us fanfic writers that blow after clear out of the water but they’re too stuck up to give it a chance. I get soooo fucking heated cuz I never see any YouTuber hyping up good content, they just find the worst ones to shit on for clout. Fuck those people.

[kianallanosdesign]

AN INTROVERT ARTIST'S GUIDE TO BRANDING YOURSELF! - A COMPLETE GUIDE

Hello fellow Introvert and Artist! Welcome to my space.

If you’ve wandered onto this page, I’m sure you’re wondering how a quiet creative like yourself can catapult from the shadows into the world of success. I know, I know. We are so comfortable playing the background roles but really, how are you going to be seen if you’re not visible?

Well, I’m here to help you!

Below, I have a few tips to help you get started in branding that I hope you will take with you along your journey into a flourishing art career.

Decide what you're making!

Before you have a brand, you have to decide what you're going to offer. This can be anything you want but you MUST be incredibly clear on what it is. I always knew I was an Artist and that I could create, I just didn’t always know WHAT I wanted to produce for the public. This is important! Think about the benefits as well as the results. What will people feel when they have your product, how will people identify themselves, and what will people think of themselves once they buy.

For example, you make ceramic mugs. But really help people build and invest in their homes with handcrafted drink vessels. (The play is in the wording.) They feel cozy and at home when they use them, they identify as a home-body and they think well of themselves for buying handmade.

Remember why you're making it!

Remembering your Why is crucial to playing the long game in business. This is two-fold. There is the Why for Others and the Why for You.

The Why For Others is all about the good you're bringing them. You're making change and affecting the world in some way, so you have to know what that is if you want to be intentional about it.

The Why for You is to keep you going in the hard days, when it feels like there's no good going on and you can't get your head above water. trust me, I’ve been there plenty of times and sometimes pulling yourself out of those places can be tough. But it’s not impossible. Your WHY can be your saving grace. Write it down! Put it on your wall! Maybe it gives you purpose or helps you through mental illness. Maybe it's to feed your babies or care for your home. Remember your why and don't forget it when it gets tough.

Test your products!

Once you know your Why's and your What's you have to figure out your How's. This is the platforms you use, the methods you present your work in, and the way you plan to showcase and sell your work. We live in a world of Social Media. This requires a lot of testing, tweaking, and marketing. This is not just your products, but who you're marketing to, how you're getting it out into the world, and your visual branding. Success comes from doing the work. As introverts, we often don’t like to be front and center but this can work poorly in our favor if we don’t at least get our feet wet. We need to be seen just as much as our extroverted colleagues. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there! Utilize the social platforms available to you! Instagram, Twitter, Tik Tok, Facebook, SnapChat. It doesn’t have to always be dance videos (unless that’s your business idea, of course) you can promote your other niche’s on there as well!

Find your unique value proposition!

After you've got your Why's, your What, your How - you need your Who. This is also a process of tweaking, but it's incredibly helpful when building your visual brand. Once you know the person who will buy your products, you know how to visually and verbally present it to them in the most attractive way - and you have to know why you’re unique.

The longer you're in business, the more you can narrow down your market to really target the specific people who are more likely to purchase.

Develop your skills

Creatives are generally great at continuing to build their skills, but sometimes in the thick of business we can forget. Be sure to continue to build your skill set so you can improve your craft and keep up on current growth patterns and trends in the business and online world. Take a few classes catered to what you’d like to learn or improve. Use Youtube as a platform of free content to learn a new skill set. Visit the bookstore to get your hands on some paperbacks to add to your collection of workbooks. NEVER STOP LEARNING.

Build a visual brand guide

The next step is to pair each of these outlines with visuals that convert. It's not just about being pretty and professional, it's about being intentional and purposeful behind those visuals.

Build an online space

Once you have your branding nailed down you have to present in some way to the world. This is done in online spaces through a website & social media and offline through print media and showcases.

This space shouldn't be an echo-ing chamber, but a place where your Who feels comfortable sharing their thoughts, desires, and questions.

lastly, keep your message simple

If you make a space for your Who without a purpose in mind, they'll get bored and wander off. You don’t want that. Build a strong, clear message revolving around what you're about and you'll begin to build a tribe that converts and is consistently in love with the work you're putting out into the world. Your message to the public should be short and sweet and straight to the point.

If this post was helpful for you, please share with your friends!

[secretlyatargaryen]

Tyrion and Zuko: Puppets Dancing on Strings

This is part two of a series comparing these characters. Click here to read part one.

"The seven-faced god has cheated me," he said. "My noble sire he made of purest gold, and gold he made my siblings, boy and girl. But I am formed of darker stuff, of bones and blood and clay, twisted into this rude shape you see before you."

The above quote is from one of the most meta-textual moments in the ASOIAF series. In Essos, Arya witnesses a play portraying the events of the series from a very skewed viewpoint. It’s Lannister propaganda, and Tyrion is portrayed as a Richard III-esque villain in contrast to his father and siblings of “purest gold.”

Similarly, ATLA also shows its awareness of its own narrative in the episode “The Ember Island Players,” in which the gaang witnesses a play of the events of their adventures. This play is Fire Nation propaganda, and portrays Zuko in the most negative light, as incompetent and then eventually killed as the villain of the story.

What these two moments in each narrative show us is not only both series’ meta-textual awareness, but also serves as a commentary on the story and characters from within. By the time we see this episode in ATLA, Zuko has joined the gaang and so we are inclined to sympathize with him and see the portrayal as skewed. In ASOIAF, the last time we have seen Tyrion is after he has been exiled from King’s Landing, and we know that the propaganda put forth is specifically meant to villainize him and portray him in the most inaccurate way possible, as we also know that he was not guilty of the crime of which he was accused.

What’s also interesting about the play, though, is that the words said by the Tyrion character mirror the fascist ideology of House Lannister and identify what marks Tyrion as separate from them. This fascist ideology is also present in the Fire Nation and is the reason for Zuko’s conflict with his family.

This article discusses the “fascist aesthetic” and how it often appears in science fiction and fantasy narratives, as well as its use in ASOIAF/GOT. It’s common with villains, who usually also represent a fascist ideology, but, as the article points out, it can also crop up with heroic narratives in some insidious ways.

Fascist art depicts, in Sontag’s words, “unlimited aspiration toward the high mystic goal, both beautiful and terrifying.”  It “celebrate[s] the rebirth of the body and of community, mediated through the worship of an irresistible leader.” It focuses on “the contrast between the clean and the impure, the incorruptible and the defiled, the physical and the mental, the joyful and the critical.”  It fetishizes “the holding in or confining of force; military precision.” Its characteristic subject matter is “vivid encounters of beautiful male bodies and death.”  In short, fascist art depicts the perfected, disciplined body in service of the perfected, disciplined state.  Its aesthetic principles are, in visual terms, clean geometric lines, chiseled physiques, and slow motion; and in musical terms, brass fanfares, pounding drumbeats, and pipe organs.  Its moral principles are strength, skill, obedience, order, joyful submission, and apocalyptic dissolution… and it’s this last that really set it apart from other aesthetics that glorify strength (of which, to be sure, there are plenty to go around).

Both the Fire Nation and the Lannisters embody these fascist aesthetics, as well as fascist ideologies. To understand what I mean by fascist ideologies, and how that ties into fascist aesthetics, look here:

Common themes among fascist movements include; nationalism (including racial nationalism), hierarchy and elitism, militarism, quasi-religion, masculinity and philosophy. Other aspects of fascism such as its "myth of decadence", anti‐egalitarianism and totalitarianism can be seen to originate from these ideas. These fundamental aspects however, can be attributed to a concept known as "Palingenetic ultranationalism", a theory proposed by Roger Griffin, that fascism is a synthesis of totalitarianism and ultranationalism sacralized through myth of national rebirth and regeneration. (source)

A lot of fantasy fiction uses these ideas as shorthand for villainy, even just using the aesthetic without a particular ideology behind it, but in both ASOIAF and ATLA we see both fascist aesthetics and fascist ideologies. Both House Lannister and the Fire Nation royal family have an obsession with national honor, pride, and debt. Both are capable of unspeakable cruelty in the name of superiority. Both also follow this narrative of rebirth which is upheld by Tywin when he restores House Lannister to a terrifying state of glory after his father’s disgrace, and Ozai when he tries to become the phoenix king. Both also have a frightening obsession with perfection, which is the heart of Tyrion and Zuko’s traumatic relationships with their families.

The above linked article on fascist aesthetics discusses Tyrion as a character who challenges fascist aesthetics, not just due to the fact that he has a congenital disability but because of the traits that make up his character.

The real challenge to fascist aesthetics comes from the series’ unperfected bodies. Some bodily abnormalities can be reconciled with fascist narratives — Jaime pretty clearly loses his hand just so that he can, through agonized struggle, climb the mountain, touch the peak, and reclaim his status as a perfected instrument of death.  Brienne’s harped-on ugliness is there so that we can focus on her bodily perfection in terms of skill and strength.  Varys’ castration is tied in with his utter dedication to serving the realm — the fascist body needs to be disciplined and perfect, but in all three of these cases bodily imperfections are just opportunities for more and further discipline.  But the same can’t be said of Tyrion.  He is quite precisely undisciplined. He drinks to excess.  He likes his food.  He has sex — he doesn’t make love, he has sex, and often, and never in idealized terms.  He pisses.  I don’t remember whether he shits or not, but others shit in his presence.  He cracks jokes.  He loses his temper and alienates his friends. All of this brings in the spirit of the carnival and the grotesque, which is the mortal enemy of fascist self-seriousness.

Here I discuss Zuko’s attempt to fit into a fascist aesthetic which is introduced only to be undercut in the narrative pretty early on - Zuko, despite the appearance he wants to project, is decidedly undisciplined - and then slowly eroded as his character undergoes a change. Tyrion undergoes some similar costume changes, going from proudly wearing his Lannister colors to wearing clothes that are not his own while in exile and having a crisis of identity. Tyrion’s dwarfism, like Zuko’s scar, is something that marks him as the unperfected, as it is something that he cannot change about himself even if he changes his appearance.

Both House Lannister and the Fire Nation royal family also embody fascist ideologies on a personal level within their own family structure.

Warning for in-depth discussion of abuse below.

At the beginning of ASOIAF we get the sense of Tyrion as someone who was fairly directionless. This post speculates about what Tyrion’s life may have been like pre-series. He’s the son of a wealthy lord and technically the heir, although the unspoken truth - until Tyrion’s conversation with his father in ASOS - is that Tywin will never let him inherit Casterly Rock, and indeed Tyrion was never treated as the heir, which is why Tyrion realizes during that conversation that it was something he “must have always known.” Tywin sees Tyrion as unsuitable to inherit because of his dwarfism, but cites other traits - real and imagined - as reasons why he will never let his son inherit. But the kicker here is that a lot of this is stuff that Tywin created and nurtured. Tywin creates Tyrion’s complex with regard to sex workers and then treats it as a sign of inherent weakness. He dismisses Tyrion’s intelligence as “low cunning.” He humiliates and belittles his son in private and in public, and then treats Tyrion’s justified frustration and anger as if it is a natural state that reinforces his unworthiness. Tywin’s abuse of Tyrion is systematic, punctuated by brutal violence but also infused with subtle gaslighting, to the point where Tyrion internalizes this belief.

This is strikingly similar to what Ozai does to Zuko, who is similarly directionless at the beginning of his story, removed from succession, and on an impossible mission to chase the Avatar, who hasn’t been seen in a hundred years. There are many points in the series, in the flashbacks to his childhood, in how Zuko thinks about his father, and in his relationship with Azula, that tell me that Zuko’s banishment was not just the result of one incident of defiance (and I will talk more on the actual incident of Zuko’s banishment later). It was the result of years of failing to live up to his father’s impossible standards of perfection. There is something in Zuko from even his earliest childhood that is abhorrent to Ozai’s fascistic worldview. Zuko’s inability to be as good at bending as his sister - and what’s worse, his younger sister - his emotional nature, displayed both positively (shown in his love for his mother and his tendency towards nonviolence in the flashbacks), and negatively (displays of frustration and anger which show a lack of control), and his inability to control himself when he speaks out in the war council, all of these things mark him as imperfect and therefore weak. And Ozai’s response to this is to put everything into his other child, grooming her as his true heir, while treating Zuko in a way that only reinforces the perception that Zuko is unworthy. Zuko absolutely believes this about himself at the beginning of the series.

Zuko: You're like my sister. Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky; he says I was lucky to be born.

The way that Ozai scars Zuko during the agni kai that results in his banishment is an outward physical manifestation of Zuko’s (perceived) imperfection. The difference is that while Tyrion’s physical imperfection - his dwarfism - was something he was born with that caused Tywin to perceive it as a symbol of all that was inherently wrong with Tyrion’s character, Ozai scars Zuko to make what he sees as Zuko’s flawed character appear outward for all to see. Both these things stem from the same source, or rather, the same two things, inextricably linked: pride and shame.

Iroh: Pride is not the antidote to shame, but its source.

I’ve written a lot about how Lannisters are obsessed with shame, because Lannisters are obsessed with pride. This is shown symbolically in their association with Lions (”Hear Me Roar”) and the colors red and gold. The Fire Nation colors are also red and gold, evoking royalty and strength, plus the added symbology of fire, which actually is also associated with the Lannisters. Game of Thrones made good use of this imagery as well to show the Lannisters’ power in King’s Landing:

Compare to the Fire Lord throne in ATLA:

This is all part of the fascist aesthetic, of course. Both ATLA and ASOIAF acknowledge that fire can have other, less destructive meanings as well. More on that later.

Aside from the history of constant emotional abuse, Tyrion and Zuko also have a striking parallel in what is the most traumatic moment of either of their lives. For Zuko, it’s when his father burns and scars him during the agni kai. For Tyrion, this is when his father forces him to participate in Tysha’s abuse. These two acts are horrifically similar in their motive, the way they are carried out by the abuser, and what they were designed to do to the victim. They also both happen when the victim is thirteen years old, an age when children start to begin their long journey to adulthood, but still have far to go before they can be considered separate from their parents.

Upon first viewing the scene where Zuko's father challenges him to an agni kai, it's framed as being about honor, and Zuko refuses to fight his father on the grounds that it would be dishonorable, but that's exactly why Ozai challenges him in the first place. Because Zuko has already challenged his father by speaking out against him in the war council, and this is the point of Ozai's lesson. He is saying to his son, you have no honor and no right to challenge me, in any and all ways. I control you. And when you look at it after viewing the entirety of the history of abuse in that family, it becomes something deeper than just being about honor and it's not even about what Zuko did. Because the constant dynamic in that family was one in which Zuko was repeatedly dominated and taught that he was inferior. And the way it's framed by Ozai, as being about regaining lost honor, is a lie. Because in Ozai's eyes, Zuko never had any honor to begin with, and that's what he shows him by burning him and scarring him. In that context, Zuko was never going to be able to stand up to Ozai, and it becomes less about a child refusing to fight his father and more about a child too terrified and downtrodden to even know how to stand up to his father while his father mutilated him. Ozai knows this and does it deliberately, which makes the whole thing even more horrifying. And at face value, it initially appears that Ozai's burning of Zuko is much more violent and motivated by anger than Tywin's abuse of Tyrion, but realizing the dynamics at play here and realizing that Zuko would have never been able to fight back and that Ozai deliberately intended it that way, this makes it a much more cold, calculating attack on his son in the context of a lifetime of convincing his son not only of his own inherent unworthiness, but that Zuko was actually to blame for it. Which makes Ozai very like Tywin in his calculated cruelty, his ability to convince his victims that he is right and all-powerful, and his campaign of dehumanization against his own son.

Similarly, when Tywin forces Tyrion to watch and participate in the gang rape of Tysha, his first love - raping Tyrion as well in the process - he frames it in the context of honor/shame/pride. He tells Tyrion that this is a lesson about marrying below his station, and manipulates Tyrion into believing it. I’ve written a lot about Tyrion and Tysha on my blog so I’m not going to rehash all that. What I am going to say is that these two incidents, both violations of their victims’ bodily autonomy, are horrifically similar in their ability to convince their victims that they were the cause of the abuse, and unfortunately in the ASOIAF fandom there are a lot of people who seem to believe that Tyrion is at fault. The difference, I suppose, is that Tysha was also abused, whereas Zuko’s action of defiance hurt no one but himself, but I would argue similarly that Tyrion had no possible way to stand up to Tywin; that, similarly to the impossible situation of the agni kai that Ozai puts Zuko in, it would not have mattered whether he had fought back or cowered in fear. The purpose is to ensure that the victim believes that the abuser is the one in control. The effect is an inability for the victim to trust their own judgments and perceptions, thus keeping them dependent upon the abuser. We see this in the way that both Zuko and Tyrion have internalized the guilt of what was done to them. Both of their narratives hinge on unlearning what their fathers have taught them in the most violent way possible.

And all this creates a never-ending cycle of shame. Tywin and Ozai attacked their sons because of perceived weakness which was seen as a shameful reflection of their own self image, because of the intolerance of any sort of imperfection in both men’s worldview.

We don't actually get a whole lot of characterization of Ozai as a person. What we get is mostly through others, how he treats his son, how he treats his daughter. But another way that we can understand Ozai and learn more about the dynamic in that family is through Iroh.

Iroh is a character who we are introduced to as something of a mirror to what Zuko could be. While Zuko is indoctrinated into the Fire Nation ideology, Iroh has already undergone his transformation from star general to the wise mentor and guiding light that he tries to be for Zuko by the time the story begins. And Iroh's story is one that is firmly opposed to the fascist belief in superiority and particularly, military greatness. Iroh is another example of the unperfected, both physically and mentally, although it might be more accurate to say he is the once-perfected. Iroh's biggest tragedy is his military disgrace following the death of his son, who he loved deeply. Even before this occurrence, though, Iroh is identified as weak by both Ozai and Azula, and this is used by Ozai to usurp him in the line of inheritance. But it's his emotional breakdown after his son's death that really cements him as a character opposed to the fascist ideology, because it's a firmly anti-war, anti-imperialist message. An acknowledgment that you can have all the power in the world and still lose what is most valuable to you. By the time we see him in the series, he is fat and elderly, kind to even his enemies, makes clear both his love for his son and his love for his nephew, and indulges in simple pleasures, like tea and pai sho. He's a pretty identifiable "good" character, although he does sometimes enable and justify Zuko's bad actions, particularly in the first season.

There are several characters who I see as parallel to Iroh in Tyrion’s narrative. One is Tytos, the father that Tywin despised and sought to distance himself from due to his weakness, who dies fat and old and disgraced and informs much of Tywin’s ruthlessness, and whom Tywin projects onto his son. Another is Gerion, laughing, kind, something of a mentor to Tyrion before his disappearance. The third is Jaime, who, like Iroh, is an older figure who tries to protect Tyrion but who can’t protect him entirely, partially due to a certain aloofness of personality. Tyrion also has the moment in ASOS where he rejects Jaime’s apology with the Tysha revelation and by the end of that chapter identifies himself as Tywin “writ small,” while Zuko has the moment under Ba Sing Se where he rejects Iroh’s advice and chooses to side with Azula instead. Both are morally gray actions tied to the abuse and gaslighting the characters have experienced. Tyrion feels betrayed by Jaime because of Jaime’s role in what happened with Tysha, while Zuko is pretty clearly manipulated by Azula.

Another similar familial relationship is Zuko and Azula and Tyrion and Cersei. Both Tyrion and Zuko are abused by their sisters, who are cruel, ambitious, and totally subsumed by the fascist ideology of their fathers, and who abuse their brothers out of a sense of identifying with their abuser.

One of the main differences between Tyrion and Cersei’s relationship and Zuko and Azula’s relationship is that Tyrion is MUCH more capable of seeing through Cersei’s manipulations than Zuko is, and I feel like that has to do with the gap between their ages. Although Zuko is the older sibling, Azula is much more dominant than him and the closeness in their ages makes that much more personal.

I’ve talked before about Cersei’s abuse of Tyrion and why it’s important to recognize that she is abusive to him and his negative actions towards her are not equal to her abuse of him, and one of the things that highlights that is that there is such a wide age gap between them. I’m looking at this partially from the perspective of someone with an older brother and sister with a similar age gap (and a younger brother who is much more closer to my age). And when I was a kid I tended to see my older siblings as other adults that lived in my house. I am close to my siblings and we never had a hostile relationship - although I did feel somewhat jealous of my sister growing up - but I am much closer to my sister now as an adult than I was when I was younger, and we have a much more equal relationship. But given Tyrion’s lack of non-abusive adult authority figures in his life, Cersei’s treatment of him becomes a reinforcement of Tywin’s abuse, and that’s why his hostility to her is not equal to her hostility towards him.

Zuko and Azula’s relationship is different. He is an older sibling but because of their closeness in age, they experienced abuse in the form of Ozai pitting them against each other. Tyrion and Cersei have a similar intense rivalry but it’s much less personal and much less tied to shared childhood trauma. And it’s the fact that for Zuko and Azula, that trauma is shared and experienced together, that makes it easier for Azula to manipulate Zuko and play on his inability to trust his own perceptions even though he definitely doesn’t trust her.

I also think it’s a difference in personality. Tyrion’s much more extroverted and analytical which makes him much more able to question Tywin and his sister despite Tywin’s repeated gaslighting and despite the fact that it does often work. One of the things that Tyrion and Zuko have in common is that they simultaneously realize that their family’s beliefs and especially the way their family has treated them is wrong, yet they also consistently internalize those beliefs. Yet Tyrion never feels inferior to his sister the way Zuko feels inferior to Azula, and I feel like that has to do with Zuko’s tendency to internalize more and withdraw inward.

Another difference would be that whereas Azula is the star sibling to Zuko’s disappointing sibling, Jaime plays that role for both Tyrion and Cersei.

Finally, both Tyrion and Zuko have moments of calling out their abusive fathers on their bullshit. Zuko has the one central moment of speaking out against his father’s ruthless military strategy with disastrous results when he is thirteen. Similarly, there are several moments in ASOIAF where Tyrion calls his father out on his ruthlessness and Tywin rebuffs him with gaslighting and plausible deniability. Both Ozai and Tywin are masters at gaslighting, and it takes a long time for both Tyrion and Zuko to be able to resist. However, both Tyrion and Zuko have similar moments of declaring independence from their fathers. 

And I’ll talk about that in part three, which will focus on recovery, resolution, and redemption.

[deviant3lover]

Personal Headcanons for the Trio

On a rare spark of inspiration, I’ve decided to compile my list of headcanons for the Trio for you all to look at if you’re interested. :) 

I tried my best to make them rooted in canon so that they may be plausible while still allowing me to indulge. ;)

Putting this under Read More because boy, it is long.

Metal Bat/Badd

- From my asks to @atinychai​, Badd likes traditionally masculine things because it makes him feel empowered and keeps most people away. He shows almost all the traits: being into sports, working out, being fierce and intimidating… all except for being attracted to women. (Came as a real shock to him too: his team often found girls cute but Badd couldn’t help but notice that some guys were pretty hot and nobody pointed it out. Doubly so because he loves the thought of being married one day and none of the ladies appealed to him.)

- Very straightforward thinker, but unlike Genos, he isn’t completely tactless or over the top with it. His thought process focuses on what needs to be done, what is needed to do it, and to do it ASAP. Considerations are taken into account, such as what would happen if he doesn’t do it right or in a certain way. This is especially good for him since he’s a busy guy even by S-Class standards, but it does leave him vulnerable to not thinking through long term plans that well.

- The most empathetic and physically affectionate of the three. He keeps his tough look on him in public and in private, but he’s one of the first people to offer to hug it out if you’re breaking down. 

(Obviously where no one can see it: that’s embarrassing on you and would attract too much unwanted attention to him, so he makes sure there’s no one watching. If there is, he’ll clap you on the shoulder, look you in the eye, and offer some advice and encouragement.) 

Young boys and teenagers look up to him, and they usually feel better about crying into his shirt when Badd tells them how hard it was to stop himself from bursting into tears at his first loss in a match, or when he was trying to keep quiet for Zenko’s sake at her recital.

- Continuing on that note, he keeps a nice relationship with some of his sporty fans. Not anything too intensive, but he’ll keep track of the boys who come to him asking him what he was like on his baseball team, what to do if there’s infighting in their group, which ones are worried about their baseball matches and he gives them a proud congrats if they win, or a consolation + inspiration to do better next time if they lost.

- When he’s not blinded by anger, Badd’s surprisingly pretty adept at being a social expert. His experiences of being on the baseball team + hanging out with problem students like him has given Badd a pretty good perspective on both the popular kids and the hated, loner kids, as well as what they’re going through. As a result, he’s usually well received by them. Feels a little embarrassed and uncomfortable around smart kids though, especially when they explain something that sounds a little complicated to him.

- Back in his younger days prior to all the responsibilities piled on top of him, Badd was a pretty good leader for his baseball team. He checked in regularly with his team mates, their equipment, their training regimens, and their upcoming opponents. He helped some of his team mates with confidence issues, and made sure to keep in check with how they’re doing to prevent in-team fighting. All-star baseball team in their region for sure. :3

- In the future, I imagine that Badd might take up some boxing after taking a hint from all the times monsters knocked his bat out of his hands away from him. Lost his weapon? He’ll use his fists until he can get it back again, and he’ll use them well. Turns out loves the sport, but baseball will always have a special place in his heart.

- He empathizes easily with people experiencing stress; he goes through that daily with everything he has to take care of- but he’s more clueless with issues such as mental illness. Badd’s a little insensitive about it, sometimes suggesting things to take care of it which don’t work, but he’s trying his best to understand what someone is going through and knows enough to know that it isn’t something that can’t be solved by blowing off steam or cutting off some bad things in your life. Gets pissed off if someone dismisses it as ‘something that’s all in their head’ or ‘they’re crazy’ and will confront them. Forcing apologies out of the offender isn’t out of the question. Might want to stop him before he gets too pissed off.

- Like you’d expect, he’s a pretty big fan of sports, but in a more casual way. He likes hearing about his favorite athletes, training regimens, and certain meals/diets that helped stars to build up/maintain their strength and skill, but doesn’t obsessively get himself involved in the subject. On a more sentimental note, Badd finds some solace with famous athletes because they had to work hard to get where they needed to be, and on top of that, have to deal with the pressures that come with their popularity; whether they like it or not.

- Despite not having much time to cultivate attention to honing his skill and interest in cooking, he loves Gordon Ramsay. Seeing him rip entitled, spoiled people apart with words alone and gently encouraging + teaching kids has him placed high on Badd’s list of celebrities that he respects.

- Badd is a Closeted Romantic and a Family Man. Always found it touching where in some old action/thriller films, the male married lead thinks about his wife and kids back home and tells himself that he shouldn’t die, powering through the pain/adversity to get back to them. At some point it shifted to him liking some intense drama/action movie focusing on romance where the couple race against time to get to each other before it’s too late. The idea that someone you love and treat as an equal might actually be gone forever really gets him, and if done right, he’ll cry.

- Cannot, for the love of him, focus well on books. He’s literate, but he always wants to get to the most important stuff, often skimming over details that might be important later on. This is also evident in how he writes, explaining something simply and to the point, which makes him pretty good at teaching kids basic, simplified concepts, but not so good at constructing incredibly thought out and nuanced writing. Books and audio books just aren’t immersive to him. Consequently, English is one of his worst subjects in school, and he often has to rely on online notes and essay examples to help him out.

- Extending on that, I imagine him to be a kinaesthetic/visual learner. He was born with amazing dynamic vision after all. (Under ‘Fighting Style: Keen Perception.’)

- Loves American action movies, but they’ll have to be really well made for him to remember a specific one. If you asked him about his favorite action scenes, he’ll describe it, but more often than not, he won’t remember the movie’s name unless you gave him some clues.

- (Inspired by this fanfic.) His mother died in a monster attack just moments after giving birth to Zenko. Badd used to love and respect his father, but her death lead to him spiraling down to alcohol abuse and neglect due to his grief, leading to his broken pedestal status in his son’s eyes. Badd’s still bitter over it when he thinks about it, saying that his ‘old man nursed his bottle like it was his new kid’ instead of being there for him and Zenko. Caught between poor grades in school, a rough home life, and a baby sister he didn’t know how to take care of, Badd had to convince himself that he needed to be twice the man his father is, and ever was, to get through the worst of what life had to throw at him.

- No matter how hard he tries, he still loves his father, and wants to see him endeavor to become better again. But the combined grief of seeing him crumble and give up on himself, the bitterness over his dad failing to be there for him when he needed it the most, and the anger over how seemingly self-absorbed he was in with his booze and watching the static on the TV when Badd was struggling to cope, makes him force the thought of reconciling out of his mind. Badd forces himself to be outwardly angry over what happened to avoid the conflicted feelings he has over the man he used to see as his hero.

- That being said, if you know what his father used to mean to him, you’ll see subtle signs that while Badd can’t forgive, he had never forgotten him. His father was a big sports fan too, and taught him how to properly hit a baseball. If you knew what he taught and looked closely when Badd fights or does some swings, you’ll see that the tips and tricks that he taught his son has never left him.

- Wanted to get a dog because he thought they were cool, but realized he wouldn’t have enough time for it. Begrudgingly got a cat for him and Zenko after she picked one out. He expected it to be the widespread stereotype for cats: cold, mean, and ruins your stuff… and then he saw how lovable and sweet it was and fell in love. That cat is Tama.

- Hates horror films because some of them remind him of the fact that monsters can manifest for the stupidest reasons, anywhere, anytime. It gets him worked up and restless because anything can happen, and the fact that some monsters in the past had tried to target Zenko to lure him out doesn’t make him feel any better.

- When he’s sick/injured, he sleeps. A lot. A very heavy sleeper; expect snores and heavy eyelids. Seriously, this guy is practically stuck in either Stage 4 NREM or REM sleep until severe injuries heal quite a bit, and germs making him sick are killed off.

- Does not take kindly to anyone calling him weak or stupid. Despite getting angry easily, he’s very resilient (emotionally and mentally.) He knows from experience that if he can’t resolve it quickly, it’s best to put it on the backburner until the opportunity arrives where he can, and does his best to blow off steam in the meantime. He’s not that smart academically and he knows it, but it’s still a berserk button you should stay away from because while he’ll never admit it, it hurts him to know that despite forcing himself to attend school so that he can build a future for himself and Zenko outside of hero work, he’s still failing at getting the grades he needs.

- Expanding on that, he’s smart, but it’s more akin to Saitama’s words of wisdom than eloquent, polished reasoning and beliefs; straightforward and inspiring in a simple way that leaves no room for misinterpretation.

- Don’t let him play video games. Especially rage inducing ones like Cuphead. He will crush the controller and wonder why his character isn’t responding mid-game. The keys on the keyboard are smashed in. There are cracks on the area around the buttons. There’s a Wii remote sticking out of a wall after a frustrating defeat and the wrist strap wasn’t securely fastened.

Garou

- He likes athletic wear better than punk styles. They’re easier to put on and move in, whilst the leather from some punk clothes heats up too much/gets too stiff for his liking.

 - Hates being restrained. Sometimes, on a very, very rare occasion, it can be interpreted as him being scared of the idea since he lashes out pretty angrily at it. Garou had been held down and beaten up by bullies twice, pinned against a tree and choked by Genos before escaping his blast by the skin of his teeth, and then was implied to be chained up and tortured/punished for his insolence against the MA in their torture room. He’s strong enough to escape most bindings, but he will be on edge if he feels like he can’t get out of them. If you play your cards right, his attack patterns will lack their usual cunning and be more animalistic.

- He’ll eat almost any kind of food except for sweets. It’s too sugary for him, leads to a crash later on, isn’t sustainable, and it doesn’t offer much nutritional value to him either, so he steers clear of them if he can help it. The odd exception are energy drinks. The sugary taste isn’t something he exactly likes, but Garou loves the immediate rush that kicks in soon after drinking them; the slight burn on his tongue from carbonated drinks such as coca cola is a plus.

- Loves the thrill of the challenge of almost any sort. The excitement comes from giving it his all and not knowing for sure how things will turn out; if he won, that’s another trophy to him. If he lost, he relishes in a milestone he has to beat and loves the idea that there’s still room for improvement. Winning or losing too much tends to be boring for him, and he’ll abandon it if he sees no way to rectify it.

- When he’s sick or injured, he’s a restless sleeper; it’s hard for him to get the proper hours that he needs. He drifts in and out of sleeping and waking, usually sleeping a few hours at best before waking up for 10 minutes and falling back to sleep. Being attacked while vulnerable, in places with little means of defense or shelter is a pretty good plan for monsters/bigshots who want his head and he knows it. One of the places he can sleep more peacefully at is Bang’s Dojo, but he hasn’t been back there for some time now.

- Tsundere. Not necessarily the blushy ‘I-it’s not like I like you, b-baka!!’ sort of way, but he’s a more subdued tsundere. He’ll come off as mean spirited at times, but the most reliable way of knowing he loves and cares about his loved ones is when they’re being threatened; he’ll rough up the threat so they won’t get any funny ideas in the future.

- Is Russian-French, with some (suspected) Norwegian in there. Is generally a European mutt who takes a keen interest in Asian culture, especially those that developed sick martial arts and/or those who have interesting, complex histories; however, Garou isn’t as interested in wars and political intrigue as he is in weird, clever, and hilarious events and hijinks that sound too surreal to be true… like Zhao Yun's army being outnumbered by the enemy, retreating, and him choosing to make their fortress look empty so that his enemies get suspicious, thinking that it was an ambush and withdrawing... before launching an attack on them, killing off his enemy's army by inciting chaos. (E.g. Some of them got trampled, others fell into a river and drowned.) He won.

- Continuing off of that, he generally regards European history with distaste due to how... unkind, some of them are.

- (God, I love @the-goddessfighter​‘s headcanons for Garou’s parents, so honestly? I’m all for this being 100% canon. Murata or ONE, make it happen. In my eyes, this is as good as you possibly can get with Garou’s backstory.)

Check out her tumblr for her OC’s for Garou’s parents! (Although I do headcanon Toru as a more neglectful father who didn’t care much for Garou, if at all. He didn’t sugarcoat his words to him nor try to comfort his son.)

- Prefers black/white/grey/neutral colors for his clothes, if only to avoid people saying that the colors clash and that he looks like a fashion disaster.

- It’s an unconscious move on his part, and while he usually has impeccable control over his power, sometimes his fingers feel like they’re jabbing you when he’s distracted. Especially when he grabs or hugs you. Sometimes, there are some small bruises where they’ve dug in a little forcefully. When he’s feeling affectionate or sentimental and you’re his lover, he traces over your skin, and it’s a contrasting mix between the calloused, rough textures from the fingers, and smooth, fluid movements that slide like water. It’s a distinct Garou feature, and whether you love it or hate it depends on your tastes.

Genos/Demon Cyborg

- Doesn’t care too much about his popularity, but acknowledges the work that his fans put in when it comes to promoting his work and what little information he shares that others will pick up on. E.g. He doesn’t like to be bothered when he’s busy/with that bald guy, but otherwise is OK with signing a few autographs and shaking hands, he avoids certain obnoxious fangirls, he hates it when there’s a group and they crowd him, etc.

- Despite appreciating this info circulating so that some fans are more mindful about how they interact with him, he’s one of the hardest heroes to connect with due to how cold, closed off, busy, and/or socially awkward he may be. Not that many of his fans mind, as it feeds into the mysterious ‘Cyborg Prince’ fantasy that’s popular in his fan base.

- Thinks that Nice Guys/GirlsTM and people who use ‘I’m an Alpha, those betas/omegas can suck it’ are pathetic. At best. He thinks that they’re compensating for something instead of actually trying to improve themselves: for the latter, the added weight of using a disproved scientific theory makes him lose respect for them even more.

- He has a certain amount of fondness for fauna and flora. Prior to meeting Saitama, he’s had to travel long distances in search of the Mad Cyborg, and more often than not, company is fleeting, leaving him alone most of the time. Flowers by the side of the path, blue skies, the sound of chirping birds, or even some berries with rainwater droplets on them are familiar, nice sights that put him at ease. Some of his notebooks outside of taking notes on Saitama have hand drawn illustrations and notes on some plants he’s encountered, as well as their various uses.

- Conversely, barren cities will put him on high alert. Buildings act as great hiding spots, and Genos isn’t a stranger to being ambushed by monsters and criminals alike. (His eyes can be a great asset in these situations; scanning for threats and movements can give him a heads up on how dangerous the area is.)

- His sense of humor is pretty dark, if not outright sadistic at times; especially towards the people he hates. Otherwise, he likes making (mostly. Key word is mostly) harmless jabs and teases at those he loves because he finds it funny when the other person gets riled up/flustered. His tone and expressions don’t change (most of the time) when he makes them though, making it hard for others to know whether or not he’s joking until he clarifies on the matter.

- Hates those who spread misinformation about medicine, or demonizes scientists. He cares about keeping the public safe, and admires/respects science for everything it’s discovered for the sake of humanity: people such as those are a direct attack on both.

- Though on the outside he takes even the most inconsequential things seriously, to the point where he’s gullible and too honest to lie, he keeps his more solemn thoughts to himself and ingrains them at the back of his mind so that he’ll never forget them. His notebooks don’t hint at them even existing. The only way you’ll ever get to hear them is when you directly attack something he holds very dear to him (beliefs, values, aspirations) so that he may fiercely (and furiously) defend them. He berated Saitama for seemingly making a joke at his expense, but he was somewhat more lenient since he knew that Saitama wielded the power he needed. He won’t be nearly as nice if you’re not someone he likes or respects, so it’s a sure-fire way to get onto his blacklist.

- Is German-Japanese. German father, Japanese mother, though a lot of people mistake him for being fully German thanks to his looks. He understands some parts of the language, but isn’t fluent in speaking it. Japanese he’s fully fluent in, and English is getting to that point as well.

- He doesn’t usually use pet names if he gets a lover, but if he’s fallen in love hard, they get sort of ridiculous and a little cheesy. ‘My beloved’ and ‘darling’ are the most modest ones, but you’ll have to stop him from going after extremely specific and loving nicknames because they blur the line between being hilarious and embarrassing.

- Awesome at stake outs, and often keeps a first aid kit handy in his temporary bases (in the case of civilian injury) alongside a repair kit for himself. Genos is incredibly well prepared just from the equipment he has inside them, but unlike other matters (such as learning how to fold clothes efficiently and going taking it far too seriously), Genos shows pretty good judgment in how he sets them up. He doesn’t take more than what’s needed, and prepares some emergency supplies just in case there’s a new development and he needs to stay a bit longer. He’s learned from experience that taking too many things for them makes it harder for him to clear his tracks, and in return, the enemy (or enemies) that he’s been keeping an eye on might catch onto the fact that they’re being watched, making it harder for him to discover new information.

Shared Traits & Other Bits

- The no-brainer: you will get intimidated into fleeing if you mess with them. Things may get physical if you target their family/loved ones. Injuries vary depending on level of apologetic attitude, how much of a threat you pose, how far you’ve pushed things, etc. Best case scenario is that you flee the scene with no injuries, but scared out of your mind.

- Badd and Genos use the same nickname for their lover: ‘Darling.’ Although Badd will say it as ‘Darlin’’ instead. Other than that, their nicknames are fairly different, with Badd going for things such as ‘sweet cheeks,’ ‘babe,’ and ‘sweetheart.’

- Both Genos and Garou have the tendency to mess with people for their own amusement. Garou comes in the form of taunting and goading, whilst Genos likes to make underhanded comments and jokes that will infuriate you.

- Genos and Garou like books. Genos however, is more introverted and will share his knowledge more thoroughly when prompted by someone who needs it. Garou being Garou, you wouldn’t even know he was into reading until he offhandedly mentions a bit of knowledge from a book he read. Odds are you won’t have time to ask him if he knows how to do x because he would have already gotten up to do it before you can open your mouth. This occurrence is far more common in emergencies.

- Genos doesn’t take any visible joy in fighting. He sees monsters as a threat to society that must be eliminated quickly and effectively. Badd used to enjoy throwing himself into battles and coming out of them victorious, but thanks to time and HA’s obligations, he sees monsters as destructive assholes getting in his way and creating more work for him when he’d rather come home to catch up on other things on the forefront of his mind. Garou loves fighting, the challenge- but it has diminished by a notable amount after his webcomic arc as he’s reflecting on what he needs and wants to do now. Despite this, he usually keeps his eye out for any interesting challenges, if only to distract himself.

- Slightly digressing from the Trio: Zenko shares the burden of taking on responsibilities with Badd, though he doesn’t know they exist. She’s aware of the fact that her brother isn’t living a normal teenage life and is bothered by the fact that he can’t act like his own age most of the time, making her want to be headstrong, capable, and independent soon so he doesn’t have to worry about her. At the same time, she knows that there aren’t many heroes his age that he can get along with, so she tries to fill in that hole by spending time with him while finding heroes she likes, and hopefully her brother will like- the reason being is that hopefully, Badd will make friends with them, and she can meet her idol often! It’s part of the reason why she was so insistent in having him obtain AM’s signature.

- Genos can sing, but sometimes struggles with singing with enough emotion in his lyrics. Garou can sing pretty well, (and sings almost every Disney villain song like a champ) but he’d be resistant to others goading him into it. He’s pretty uncomfortable at the notion that he’d have to sing in front of people. Badd can… sing, but he’s best at singing the lullabies he sung to a baby Zenko- songs that get him into it can have him be really, really into it; to the point where it’s almost embarrassing to watch. He’s pretty good at rap/singing more sentimental pieces such as this:

[words-writ-in-starlight]

For your anon re: intelligence: take it from a social psychologist and professor- there are many different ways to be intelligent. Traditional school, IQ and standardized tests only measure a very narrow version of it. Look up Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences to start off with. And also the advice to see a counselor is excellent. It's so hard to unlearn the negativity put on you by the people who are supposed to lift you up, but it's so worth the work!

(intelligence anon)

Yes!  For those of you who have not taken a bunch of psych courses, the theory of multiple intelligences states that there are many different ways to be intelligent, not just “are you good at standardized tests, yes or no.”  (Honestly even that question is pretty loaded--I’m great at standardized tests!  For about three hours.  Past that, I might as well just leave, my score would probably be better.)  

Gardner’s proposed types of intelligence are:

Verbal-linguistic, or having a gift for language, spoken, written, whatever; these people are usually well-spoken and well-written and sound “smart”

Logical-mathematical, or, let’s be honest, what everyone thinks “being smart” entails, a sense of how to assemble a good argument or how to grasp a mathematical concept

Bodily-kinesthetic, or having an understanding of how to make your body and your environment play well together, so that you get the result you want; “natural” athletes are naturally good at this, I had to work really, really hard at it out of sheer self-preservation against my natural clumsiness

Musical-harmonic, or having a good sense of how the pieces of music fit together into the complete thing--this is not necessarily the same as being able to read sheet music, fun fact, which I personally am horrifically incompetent at and falls more under one of the first two

Visual-spatial, or having an idea of how the visual world works, both in terms of art and practical things like pouring water from one glass into another; my mom is one of the smartest people I know, and also she has never correctly estimated the volume of any single object in her entire life

Intrapersonal, or the ability to evaluate your own mental health and emotional state, introspectiveness; if you feel like you don’t have this one dead to rights, perhaps some therapy! I recommend some therapy!

Interpersonal, or social skills; I had the cosmic forethought to date someone very very good at this, which helps buffer the fact that I just do not have a natural gift for socializing, I also recommend that

Naturalistic, or the ability to understand how the natural world works, having a ‘green thumb’ or a natural talent with animals; one of my partners can make anything grow with a shrug and “I don’t know, felt like it should get watered”, whereas my mother can, has, and doubtless will again murder a cactus out of sheer failure to grasp how cacti work, despite extensive googling

Now, someone might be phenomenally gifted in one or several of these areas, and then be desperately lacking in others.  With some of them, a natural talent is worth far less than in others--anyone can learn to evaluate their own emotional state, but straight up some people have good aim from the start and the rest of us fools just have to deal with being a hazard.  You may be good at one thing within a specific type of intelligence and not another, like someone who’s incredibly articulate on the page but struggles to be clear aloud.  You may have the capacity to be good at one of these, but not always the energy--I can put on my best neurotypical social skills, but it’s exhausting, and I need a hard time limit or I start getting a little mean.  

The point is, there are a lot of ways to be smart, a lot of things to be smart about, and a lot of people who showcase those different types of intelligence.  Some types of intelligence are valued at a higher place in our society, but that doesn’t make them innately more valuable in a person.

And before you call me out on that, yeah, listen, I’m a medical professional.  I have a natural inclination to believe my profession, and therefore the intelligence that facilitates it, is The Most Important, because all medical professionals are like that and we’re all insufferable for it.  BUT.

The entire human race owes its existence in its current form to some bright spark who looked at a plant and said “You know, I bet I could grow that,” so don’t get uppity about math or whatever.  We’re all only here because of six inches of topsoil and the fact that it rains and some folks who had the naturalistic intelligence to take advantage.