#Like the idea of losing his mind makes him genuinely terrified

[bunnieswithknives]

RAHHHh ok comics done I can post this now!!! He is having the worst possible time

[sgt-tombstone]

Like A Baby

————

Ghost sleeps like he’s in a coffin

On his back, straight as a board, arms crossed over his chest, the whole nine yards

When Soap and Gaz see him do it for the first time in the field, they think it’s a joke, that he’s leaned into the whole Ghost thing a little too hard. They think it’s funny, albeit slightly disconcerting

But over the course of several missions, they realize that Simon genuinely has no idea that he does it. He goes to sleep laying down like anyone else, in whatever position is most comfortable in the middle of an op, but as soon as he slips unconscious, his body naturally arranges itself into the most macabre position possible

They want to tell him about it so badly, but Price convinces them not to. He doesn’t tell them why, he just says that it would be a bad idea, and they trust him enough not to push it

Until Soap lets it slip one night while they’re at a bar, makes a stupid joke about Ghost “sleeping like the dead” that Gaz laughs a little too hard at and they only realize their mistake when Ghost’s eyebrows knit in confusion. So they fess up, reluctantly, and tell him that he sleeps like a corpse. Arms crossed and everything. He refuses to believe it at first, because denial has always worked for him in the past, and he wouldn’t put it past the sergeants to pull his chain like this, especially since they don’t know. But then Soap says he’ll snap a picture the next time he sees it and Ghost starts to get scared

Sure enough, two weeks later finds them in the middle of fucking nowhere in the middle of the fucking night, and Ghost settles down against a wall that’s more rubble than structure. He resolutely stays sitting up because he desperately wants to prove the sergeants wrong, but as soon as he falls asleep, his body slumps over and turns until he’s on his back, arms crossed, spine straight. Soap snaps his picture and feels guilty about it all night

When he wakes up the next morning, Ghost’s first words to him are, “show me,” and Soap should know better but apparently he doesn’t because he pulls up the picture. It’s dark and slightly blurry but unmistakable. Like a fucking corpse

It sends Ghost into a tailspin. The only reason why he doesn’t lose it completely is because Price is there to hold him together. Instead, he shuts down. It feels like a betrayal from his own body, his own mind. It’s a sick joke, a cosmic ‘fuck you’, a trauma response of epic proportions. He’d escaped his own grave, but apparently his sleeping mind didn’t know that

When they get back to base, no one sees or hears from Ghost for close to three weeks. Soap is losing his mind, Gaz is ready to tear the base apart to find him, and even Price (usually very used to Ghost’s moods) is visibly worried. Finally, Soap corners him in the sniper tower where he’s been taking stim packs and caffeine pills in an attempt to avoid sleep altogether. Soap damn near drags him, stumbling and off balance from exhaustion, to bed. Despite how tired he is, he can’t fall asleep, his heart and mind racing with panic at the thought of his unconscious body forcing him to become a corpse again

Right up until Johnny lays down next to him. And then his mind goes blissfully quiet. His heart is still pounding, but for a completely different reason as Johnny curls his body around Simon’s, arranging their limbs in such a way that Simon couldn’t possibly straighten out. It’s the warmest he’s ever been, the most comfortable he’s ever been. With his arms around Johnny and Johnny’s head tucked under his chin, he falls asleep effortlessly

When he wakes up, the first thing he mumbles is, “how did I…?” but he can’t bring himself to finish it, terrified of the answer. Johnny just smiles up at him, mohawk askew and cheek creased from being pressed against Simon’s shirt all night, and says, “like a baby.”

Simon never sleeps like he’s in a coffin ever again

[dunmeshistash]

I've been having a bunch of ideas kinda float around my mind like little screensavers that I didn't feel like putting on paper, but one of these ideas just so happened to hit a corner, and it gave me an idea for what might perhaps be a bit of a silly (and oddly specific) question, but one I was very interested in asking nonetheless. Especially after reading your long post on the Demon's perspective of Laios' backstory. I really hope you don't mind.

While my memory's a tad blurry on how the scene played out in detail, I still find Laios' confrontation with the demon to be one of my favorite scenes. Definitely top 5. It's the one where Laios secretly orders Izutsumi to execute him at the slightest hint of suspicion. That one. I think that scene is among my favorites because it's both a perfect demonstration of Laios' remarkable cleverness hidden underneath all that lack of social skills, but it's also the perfect demonstration of how utterly terrifying the demon is.

At first I was under the assumption that Laios had it all under control, but the Demon's frighteningly gentle with how he twists Laios' very thoughts in a way that frames him as some sort of misanthropist, and the Winged Lion's words seemingly foil whatever plan Laios may have had. It made me think that Laios had failed, and Izutsumi's orders to lob his head off may have been a fail safe because he didn't know if he could successfully thwart the Demon's plans.

However, after finishing the story, extras, etc; I started thinking that perhaps failing was all part of Laios' plan, too. At least partially. Perhaps he realised that the only way to outsmart and ultimately best the Demon, was to let the Demon win. Perhaps he concluded that the only way for him to stand a chance against the Demon was to lose, to be at the Demon's mercy, to have his words utterly twisted; because he couldn't just make the demon "think" he had won. The only way for the Demon, the embodiment of hunger, to think he had won, was for him to actually win.

Maybe he ordered Izutsumi to… how do you put it… "artificially shorten his lifespan" because he knew the Demon would use his love for monsters against him, and would manipulate him into wishing to become the Ultimate Strongest Monster. His recent addendum (that the Ultimate Strongest Monster can eat desires) seems to support this theory, if I remember correctly. However, I can't remember for certain. Maybe his plan was to trap the Demon in his body and kill it that way? I genuinely can't remember.

So, I was wondering if you'd be interested in answering this oddly specific and mildly stupid question: How much of Laios' interaction with the Demon was planned, and how much was him fucking around and finding out? I'd love to know your thoughts on this!

PS: Laios rocks the swag he dons as king. Would happily serve under him. PPS: I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week, Mr. Morbius! Thank you for this awesome blog. You're cool.

Hello!!!!! Yeah!!!!!! The question Kabru himself would rather not know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Same as Kabru I decided not to think too hard about but Kui definitely gave us hints that this could be the case, I don't think Laios "planned" to fail from the start, he strikes me as a very optimistic guy (as you can see with how he first thought the confrontation with Thistle could go and how he STILL tried to talk to him instead of fighting) but I think he did "prepare" somewhat for the worst case scenario, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst?

Like I don't think this part of his plan was a misdirection I think he really hoped it could be this simple? So this was plan A (although he realizes this is too optimistic I think he hopes it will work)

This part tho I'm pretty sure was partly a misdirection for his teammates, since he asks them to help him get his mind back only to tell Izutsumi to kill him at the smallest hint he lost his mind, so I think this was plan B as in "If I become the lord of the dungeon kill me so there's no more dungeon lord" which was the original canary plan

Which again is kinda confirmed by this thought bubble

I think this was plan C

He knew he no longer wished for a country where humans and monsters could coexist (because of what he saw) so I guess he had *some* idea that becoming a monster was his other wish and added that as a fail safe if plan A and B failed? I don't think he could have guessed the Demon would use his body but maybe he thought he could use the nature of the demon against him (granting his desire to become a monster even tho the monster can eat him)

As Marcille and Kabru realize tho, that might all be a coincidence and he really thought plan A or B would work lmao. WHO KNOWS Laios' mind is a mystery

I'd recommend rereading chapter 88 if you want to go thru Laios' whole plan and how the demon manipulated him, it's a great chapter (87 too with the demon origin story)

[reidmania]

soon, you'll get better | s. reid

summary; when spencer decides to get help for his addiction, you are right by his side the entire time, even when you are both more scared than you’ll admit.

warnings; fem!reader, early seasons spencer (s2) mentions of addiction, withdrawals, getting help, hurt x comfort, its kinda really fluffy though, mentions of tobias hankel, references possible overdosing, (nobody overdoses, reader is just afraid of it happening) this is comfort, pure spencer comfort tbh.

an; heart BROKEN guys. this one hurt. remember you are not alone.

'I'll paint the kitchen neon, I'll brighten up the sky, I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try. And I'll say to you, soon you'll get better, soon you'll get better, you'll get better soon, 'cause you have to. And I hate to make this all about me but who am i supposed to talk to? What am i supposed to do, if theres no you?'

You sit beside him, your hand resting gently on his, feeling the tension pulsing through his skin. Spencer's fingers twitch, as though his body is having a silent argument with itself—one part of him wants to hold on to you, to feel your comfort, and the other part is restless, needing something more than your touch can provide. You know what that something is. It’s been between the two of you for weeks now, an unspoken weight that has grown heavier with each passing day.

The hospital waiting room is quiet, but inside your head, it feels deafening. Your eyes flicker to the clock on the wall. The seconds drag on, and you know he feels every single one of them. You squeeze his hand lightly, drawing his attention back to you. His eyes meet yours, wide and anxious, a storm of emotions swirling in their depths. You see it all—the fear, the shame, the self-loathing. But beyond that, buried underneath, you still see the man you love.

"You're doing the right thing," you whisper, your voice soft, barely louder than the ticking clock.

He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. His lips part, but no words come out. You don’t push him. You’ve learned that sometimes, silence is safer for him. His mind is always moving, always analyzing, always thinking ten steps ahead, but right now, he’s fragile. His brilliance can’t help him here. And that’s what scares him the most.

You lean in, pressing your forehead against his, grounding him in the moment. “I’m so proud of you,” you say, and you feel him exhale, just slightly. The warmth of his breath touches your lips, and for a brief second, you feel that connection again—the one that always makes you believe everything will be okay, as long as you're together.

It was difficult, sitting here and pretending like you weren’t scared. You were, you wondered if you had a right to be scared. Spencer was the love of your life, you had never once questioned that — and seeing him like this, well it wasn’t easy. Being here, wasn’t easy.

Spencer closes his eyes, a shudder running through his body. He grips your hand tighter, the pressure almost painful, but you don’t pull away. You want him to know you’re here, that you’re not going anywhere. Not now. Not ever.

A nurse walks by, and Spencer's eyes snap open, his body stiffening. You can feel his heart rate spike, the anxiety flaring up again.

“I can’t,” he mutters, shaking his head. His voice is tight, strangled, like he’s holding back something that threatens to choke him.

“Yes, you can,” you reply gently, running your thumb over his knuckles in slow, soothing circles. “Please.”

It was a plea, a genuine plea. You tried to be strong for his sake, he needed someone. You were his person, you would always be. But he was also your person — and the idea that if he didn’t get help you could lose him one way or another terrified you. It caused a genuine ache in your chest at just the thought of him not being him, or not being around at all. You couldn’t lose him, not at the hands of tobias hankel.

He stares at you, searching your face for something—maybe reassurance, maybe strength. You aren’t sure if he finds it, but he nods, his breath coming out in shaky bursts.

The doctor calls his name. The sound makes him flinch, and for a moment, you think he might bolt. You can see it in his posture, the way his muscles tense, his body preparing to flee. But then your hand tightens around his, and he looks at you again. And you know he’s staying because of you.

Together, you stand, and you walk beside him as he follows the doctor into the office. His steps are slow, reluctant, but each one is a small victory. When you sit down in the small room, the doctor’s eyes flicker between the two of you—taking in Spencer’s pale, trembling form and the way you hold onto him as if he might disappear.

The doctor speaks softly, his voice calm and measured. You hear him explain the treatment plan, the options for managing withdrawal, the therapy that Spencer will need. It all sounds clinical, distant, like the words are coming from a place Spencer can’t quite reach.

You glance at him, watching the way his jaw clenches and unclenches, the way his eyes dart around the room, not settling on anything for too long. His mind is miles away, you can tell. But you’re here, anchored in this moment for both of you.

“Spence,” you say softly, turning to face him. He doesn’t respond at first, lost in the cacophony of his own thoughts. So, you reach out, brushing your fingers against his cheek. His eyes snap back to you, and you see the vulnerability in them, the sheer weight of everything he’s been carrying.

“We’ll take it one step at a time,” you remind him. “We’ll get through this. Together.”

His lower lip trembles, and for a second, you think he might cry. But he doesn’t. Spencer’s never been one to break easily, even when he should. You wish he would sometimes, just so he wouldn’t have to hold it all inside.

The doctor gives you both a moment, stepping out of the room to let the words sink in. Spencer drops his head into his hands, his shoulders slumping as though the world is pressing down on him with all its weight.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispers, his voice barely audible.

You scoot closer, pulling him into your arms, cradling his head against your chest. His body relaxes, just a little, as if the touch of your skin can quiet the chaos in his mind.

“You deserve everything good in this world,” you tell him, stroking his hair gently. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m broken,” he breathes, the words thick with self-reproach.

You shake your head, holding him tighter. “You’re not broken, Spence. You’re just…hurting. And that’s okay. You’ll get better. You have to.”

Maybe it was a plea, maybe reassurance, you weren’t even sure. Spencer was single handedly the strongest person you knew, he didn’t deserve what had happened to him — nobody did. The signs had been there for a while, you noticed the change instantly and you tried to brush it off as him coping, but when it got to the point where you knew there was more, without a doubt — you had the conversation.

It took some convincing, and a few weeks before he even approached the idea — he denied for a while. You let him. You could only help him as much as he allowed you to, but then when he nudged you gently in bed one night and broke down — he wanted help, and you were happy to provide him with as much as you could, which also meant getting more help.

His arms wrap around your waist, clinging to you as though you’re his lifeline. And in a way, you are. But you know he’s yours too. You’ve never loved anyone the way you love Spencer—so deeply, so completely. He’s flawed, yes. But so are you.

When the doctor returns, you help Spencer sit up, though he keeps one hand resting on your knee, as if needing to stay tethered to you. You listen carefully as the doctor outlines the next steps, and this time, Spencer listens too. He’s scared, you can tell, but he’s fighting. For himself. For you. For what you both have.

And when you leave the office, walking back through the waiting room, you feel a shift. It’s subtle, almost imperceptible, but it’s there. Spencer’s steps are still hesitant, still burdened, but there’s a determination now. He’s facing it. He’s facing himself. And you’re right there beside him, as you always will be.

As you step out into the crisp evening air, Spencer pauses. He turns to you, his eyes soft, vulnerable, but this time, there’s a flicker of hope.

“I love you,” he says quietly, the words shaky but sincere.

You smile, your heart swelling. “I love you too.”

And in that moment, with the world quiet around you, “You will get better Spence.”

[alicewritez]

Heart to Heart - Aaron Hotchner

word count: 1202

summary: you disobey a direct order from hotch and now you’re injured

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

authors note: implied age gap but nothing too descriptive or explicit. again, i’m only just getting back into writing so bare with me while i get into the swing of things again. hope you enjoy regardless 💕

You disrespected a direct order and got hurt on a case. After he found out you were going to be fine, he went straight to the silent treatment. No words, no glances exchanged on the ride to the hospital, nor on the jet, nor even on the ride back home.

Now, he's sat busy rewrapping your bandages, still maintaining the silence. You watch his hands carefully tend to your wounds before you decide to finally speak up and break the silence which, right now, felt even worse than him shouting.

"Say something at least," she pauses. "Shout at me.. storm out, I don't care just.. anything other than silence."

He finished rewrapping your bandages and looked up at you. "Don't be an idiot again."

"Is that it? Is that all you have to say?" You respond, expecting him to say more, but nothing came.

He sighs. "It's a miracle that you're sitting here talking to me after all, you know that?"

"A miracle?" You scoff. "Hotch, I had it under control, besides it's just a few scratches." You argue your point.

He raises a brow and looks at you incredulously. "A few scratches? Remind me again how many stitches you got?"

"It's not even that bad!" You argue again. "It's a few stitches, so what?"

"So what?! A few stitches? Have you lost your damn mind?! Is that all that’s left up there? You could have been killed, can’t you see that?”

“I was doing my job!” You raise your voice to match his own.

He raised his further, trying to prove his own point. “Your job is to obey when I say ‘pull back’!”

“If I had listened to you, those poor young women would have been murdered.” You state coldly to him, trying to get him to understand where you were coming from. “I was doing my job and yes I got injured but I’m fine.. and they’re safe.”

He sighs. “And you nearly joined them at the morgue.”

“What is it with you? What’s this all really about?!” You emphasise the second part of the sentence. You had never seen him get so wound up over something like this before. Usually it was a stern telling off and he’d let you go, but not today.

“It’s about you! Don’t you get it? I can’t afford to lose you.” And there it was. The whole reason he’d got so upset in the first place, it wasn’t just because you were one of his best profilers; there was something much deeper.

“Hotch..” you spoke gently, features softening. He sat back down and looked over at you. He was quiet for a minute before speaking up again.

“Do you think it’s easy for me to see you all beaten up?”

“I-I didn’t know you felt like that.” You stuttered out, choking back a sob. Your gaze was locked onto your hands in your lap, fiddling with a ring on your finger.

He stared at you for a moment before sighing softly. “I do. And I’m terrified. I don’t know what I’d do without you..” He held his arms out for a hug and waited for you to scoot closer to him, which didn’t take much prompting because no sooner had he opened his arms, you’d lunged right into them, burying your face into his chest.

He pulled you close and held you tight, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “Thank goodness you’re alright, sweetheart. You have no idea how scared I was.”

You sigh, pulling away a little to look up at him but not wanting to let go completely. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.. I just wanted to save them.”

“I know, I know. I just don’t want to see you in any danger, that’s all.” He pulled you back to him, this time placing a soft kiss to your lips. When you pull away, you look up at him.

“I guess we’re not just ‘boss’ and ‘employee’ anymore..” This makes him chuckle, a smile forming on his lips, the first genuine smile you’d seen all night.

“Nope, we sure aren’t. I guess you’re not just ‘renegade agent who doesn’t listen and likes to make Hotch worry’ anymore either..” he smirks.

You give him a bemused look. “I’ve liked you for a long time, and the for the last time.. I was doing my job. You know you would have done the same thing if the roles had been reversed.”

He raises a brow at your statement but he couldn’t argue, knowing what you said had truth behind it. “I can’t say that you’re wrong. But I still don’t want you taking risks like that.”

“You nod your head slowly, knowing he was right. “It won’t happen again.”

“I know. Just think about my heart next time.” He sighed and brushed some hair out of your face. “That poor thing can only take so much.”

“I forgot you were old.” You pout playfully. “Well, not old but.. well- you’re older than me.” You start to ramble then stop. “I’ll just shut up.”

He smiled and chuckles softly. “Don’t you dare shut up.” He looks down at you, bringing a hand to brush stray strands of hair out of your eyes and tucking them behind your ear. “I love it when you ramble on and on about random stuff. That’s one of the things I love about you.. that and your beautiful smile. And your pretty eyes. And your amazing personality.. and your..”

“Yeah okay, okay, I get it.” You bury your face into his side, feeling your face heat up from embarrassment. He chuckles again and gently runs his fingers through your hair. “You have no idea how gorgeous you are.” He pauses for a few seconds, looking you in the eyes. “Even with a few bruises and some stitches.”

You wince as he traces his fingers over some of the cuts and bruises that littered your face; he realises the mistake he’s made when he sees you wince. “Oh.. I’m sorry.” He moves his hand away quickly and looks away, hating to see you in pain.

“It’s okay.” You smile softly, taking his hand into yours and leaning further into his side. “I love you.”

His face softens at the confession. “I love you too.” He kisses you on the forehead and lets go of your hand, much to your dismay, but quickly wraps his arms around your waist instead. Pulling you back into his chest for another hug.

“I could stay like this forever.” You sigh in content, making him chuckle. “I could too.”

He kisses you on the forehead once more before pulling you even closer to him and whispering in your ear. “You know I can’t stand it when you’re all hurt, right?”

“I know.. but at least I have you.” You smile at the thought. He kisses you softly on the temple. “You always will. I’ll always be right here you know that, right?”

“I know.” You smiled as your head rested against him, eyes closed in content at the feeling of being near him.

It was in this moment you knew, Aaron’s words had never been more true.

[thegreenlynx]

Girlfriend Stealer

Description: Your company pairs you with one of your boyfriend’s band mates for a collab, specifically a dance performance and your boyfriend is not pleased.

Pairing: Lee Know x Reader

Genre: Slight Angst, Hurt/Comfort, idol au, fluff

Content Warnings: Idol Fem!reader insert, Jealousy, boobs, brief mentions of marriage, insecurities

Word Count: 4k

A/N: Ahahaha...ha...

Life as an idol was naturally chaotic. You had grown used to that chaos; the unpredictability, the strict schedules, the lack of time off, missing milestones with your loved ones, having to be careful of everything you do, and having your privacy invaded on multiple occasions. Despite this, somehow you'd managed to keep it together and had even made quite the name for yourself as a dancer and singer. And to make it even better, you've landed yourself a very loving and sweet boyfriend. One you wouldn't trade for the world. 

Lee Minho is an angel, most of the time. He cooks for you, comforts you when you are sad, treats your cats like his own, he's funny, and he even makes sure to always make time for you. No matter how busy his schedule gets he tries to find any opportunity he can to see you, and when he can't? Well then he's sending you cute selfies and voice notes, and even calling you before bed.

Your relationship is very healthy, in a way unlike anything you ever could of hoped for. Your past relationships had done little to prepare you for the sense of security and genuine affection you felt with him. It felt as though you were genuinely made for each other, as cliché as that may sound. 

However, Minho had one troubling flaw. One flaw that many would have been deterred by, yet for some reason it had never been enough to keep you from him. The flaw was that Minho was extremely possessive. Almost alarmingly so.

He hates it when anyone even looks at what's his for too long. And if someone's touching it? You can practically see the steam fuming out his ears as he glares daggers into whomever has committed the heinous act of disrespect(In his eyes at least). 

That is why it is almost laughable, the situation you've found yourself in now. And never in 100 years would you have seen it coming. 

Both you and your boyfriend's companies had decided they wanted you to do a collab stage. Which sounds wonderful and exciting at first mention. The catch? You aren't collaborating with your sweet bunny-like boyfriend, but instead his perfectly sculpted bandmate Hwang Hyunjin.

You weren't really sure how to react to that really. After all it is an extraordinary opportunity, but on the other hand you know Minho. Truthfully you were hesitant to even tell him. He never takes these things well. It's bad enough when it is a stranger but one of his best friends? He might actually lose his mind. And as much as you'd like to hope he would just trust you and Hyunjin enough to let it go and be happy for the two of you, you know he won't.

Because to him it's not about trust. He can trust the both of you more than anyone else, with his own life even. It won't matter because what he's worried about isn't you cheating. It's that you'll realize you are out of his league and go for someone more on your level, or that you'll simply lose interest and leave him. He knows very well how fickle people's feelings can be. He also believes he loves you far more than you could ever love him. The idea of you leaving him isn't particularly out there to him. There is nothing in the world that terrifies him more than the idea of losing you. 

Additionally there is the matter that he may be a bit obsessive. If it were up to him no one would ever get your attention but him and he would probably bury himself in it, if only he could. He thrives in your affection and withers when it's gone too long. He makes a prominent effort to be the only one you ever look at, the only one you'd ever want. 

But that doesn't bother you. You like that he wants you enough to keep working to keep you even when he already has you, and even use it as motivation to try and treat him the same way. 

This is shown in the way you love him. The gifts you get him, the tiny acts of service, the cuddles even when you're in a bad mood and would normally want to be left alone, the hours you sit and listen to him rant about everything because you know he doesn't really do that with anyone else.

In this situation however, you aren't really sure what to do. It's never really been a problem before. Typically if someone were hitting on you or a friend was getting too close you'd just put some distance or leave with Minho. You normally avoid doing anything that might upset him, and it doesn't bother you in the slightest. You're an introvert anyway so it's not a problem if you only have a few friends and don't go out much without him. You still have your own hobbies, your own lives, it's fine. 

Even when the company has made you do things before, it's been easy to reassure Minho. He gets jealous and sulky for a bit and then you cuddle him and remind him he's the only one you want and everything's fine. What do you do when it's his friend though? You can't really say 'It's just a job' or 'I'll never see him outside of work'. Neither of those would be true and it's not going to make him feel better anyway. 

Because this is Hyunjin. Sweet, kind, sensitive, beautiful Hyunjin. One of his best friends Hyunjin. Hyunjin the damn near perfect model. Hyunjin the excellent dancer. Hyunjin the member the company picked over Minho. 

In the end, after contemplating for a few hours what exactly would be the least problematic way of telling him, you decide to just spit it out. Which ultimately leads to your boyfriend inviting himself to your practice. Which can only go well, naturally.

It hasn't even been five minutes and you can already feel your angry boyfriend's glaring eyes drilling holes into not only Hyunjin but you as well. You don't let it shake you, you need to get this dance down so you can go home and make him feel better. You can only imagine the way his insecure mind is spiraling, completely absurd and unrealistic thoughts taking over his normally rational and understanding way of thinking. The faster you finish this the less pain he will be in. So for now you need to ignore him. For both your sakes you try to pretend he's not even there.

Hyunjin on the other hand seems to be having a harder time of it. The typically near flawless dancer seems anxious, keeps glancing towards the couch your boyfriend is tensely lounging on, and he keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. No matter how many minutes go by of practicing the same part, no matter how many times you try and direct him, it's obvious his mind is elsewhere and his performance is suffering. 

The longer it goes on the more you feel yourself grow frustrated. Your fuse has gotten short, and the typically soft and kind tone you use with the taller man has reduced to a more biting one. You've managed to get about half way through the song, arriving at a more sensual part when you finally snap. Hyunjin refuses to actually get close enough to you for it to even be mistaken as the correct choreo and it's driving you nuts. You want to go home.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" You turn towards your dance partner in obvious annoyance, running a hand through your long hair. 

He blushes a bashful red and quietly responds. "I'm sorry, it's just hard to dance with Minho glaring at me through the mirror. I can't focus and it's honestly kind of terrifying..." He trails off and nervously glances at the mirror before looking at the floor in defeat. 

You sigh and turn to the boyfriend you haven't looked at in nearly an hour. He doesn't look back at you. Sporting the most murderous look you have ever seen such a delicate pretty face make, he simply glares at Hyunjin's figure. 

Feeling a mixture of irritation and guilt you turn away from both of them and tug at your hair in frustration, a joyless laugh falling past your lips. 

"I'm sorry, I'll try to focus..." You hear Hyunjin's pitiful whisper behind you, the poor guy didn't even do anything to be put in this position yet here you all are. You ignore him in favor of turning back towards Minho, marching towards him with determined strides. 

When you finally reach him he makes no effort to look at you and only squeezes his hands into fists at his sides. However you aren't really in the mood, so you rest both hands on either side of his head and shift your body into his line of sight. You let out a small portion of your built up aggression in allowing your hands to grip the black leather of the couch while your eyes narrow at the man below you. 

He finally looks up at you, an almost comical mixture of angry tiger and kicked kitten. His brows are furrowed and his cheeks are reddened in frustration, the tension in his muscles prominent from his rather impressive amount of self control(for him, at least). Yet his eyes twinkle up at you miserably, longingly. And it's heartbreaking really. How his lips tremble slightly and his eyes waver shakily under your gaze. He's doing a good job of hiding it, but you can see through it. He's not just angry; he's fucking terrified. And he's hurting, and that hurts you. 

"What are you even jealous about? It's just Hyunjin." Despite your prominent glare, you manage to keep your voice soft and even. You know it's not his fault. You know he's trying to keep it together, trying so hard to just sit there and be good for you. But you can see how he wants to cry, and maybe even walk over and punch Hyunjin right in the face. For good measure.

He clicks his tongue and looks away from you momentarily. He goes to speak before opting to instead whine and kick his feet in anger. You feel bad for finding him cute in this moment. But the truth is, he always is. "Yeah, it's Hyunjin. I'd be mad about anyone but me getting to touch you, let alone Mr. Top-Model girlfriend stealer over there."  He shoots another glare Hyunjin's way and you hear the other male gasp offended in response.

"Hey-!" He tries to chime in, in an attempt to defend himself against the allegation. However, you interrupt him like he's not even there so as to not allow him to unintentionally provoke your boyfriend any further. You grab Minho's chin gently with your right hand to tilt his head to look back up at you.

"You have nothing to worry about. I picked you, not Hyunjin. And I will continue to pick you and only you for the rest of my life. I understand that you're upset, I would be too. I don't like this any more than you do, but we don't have a choice."

He just huffs and rolls his eyes at you, dipping his head slightly to glare back at Hyunjin through the mirror once more. "I could just break his legs, then he wouldn't be able to dance with you at all." You laugh and roll your eyes right back at him. 

"I'm not asking you to be happy about it. But if you behave and stop trying to kill Hyunjin with your eyes at least till the end of practice so we can get this over with, I promise I'll make it up to you later." You take a firmer grip of his chin to get his attention back on you, nails digging slightly into his skin to prevent him from moving as you tilt his head up again. 

He only stares defiantly back up at you, not convinced. So you lean down and kiss him softly, continuing in a whisper Hyunjin won't hear. "Just be good and I'll make it all worth it. You know I'll only ever belong to you. Get out of your head. You've got demons up there and they're liars, they only make you sad and nothing they say is ever true."

"...fine..." It comes out in a barely audible breath whilst he deflates at your words, seeming to have all of the energy left in him drained as he slumps into the couch in defeat.

And he stays true to his word, with great difficulty he manages to be good the rest of practice. He does this by laying face down into the sofa and periodically thrashing around in anger with a bizarre sound muffled into the cushions, but he isn't glaring at Hyunjin anymore and that is Minho being on his best behavior in your book. 

Because of this you are able to get the dance down fairly swiftly, with Hyunjin no longer distracted he's quick to pick up on the choreo and your chemistry is surprisingly good. You know it'll make a great performance, you also know that will royally piss Minho off. A problem for another day, however.

As soon as you and Hyunjin have got the dance down, you dart straight to your throw blanket-impersonating lover. You don't even wait for him to stand before you're dragging him off the couch by his hand. He scrambles to catch up to your pace without faceplanting, barely succeeds, and shuffle runs behind you as you speed walk towards the exit and then to your car.

You don't say anything during the walk, just tighten your hold on Minho's hand. He doesn't either, seemingly happy just to have you back for now. But, you can tell he's still a bit anxious. Perhaps he's worried you are mad at him now, or that you're just dragging him around so you can break his heart in private. In truth it's hard to predict where his mind will go in these situations. Which is exactly why you want to get home as soon as possible. So that it's less time where his demons can eat him alive. But you desperately need a shower, and you don't want to try to comfort him in the middle of a parking lot.

So waiting until you're home it is! The car ride is quiet too; you spend the whole car ride trying to think of what to say or do to make your boyfriend feel better, remind him that in your eyes there's only him and that you couldn't be happier with anyone else. He spends the entire car ride anxiously playing with your hand and glancing periodically at your face, a wounded expression taking over his own. Which goes entirely unnoticed by you, too busy trying to find a way to fix this to realize he just wants you to look at him. But he won't say anything until you do, too afraid of somehow saying the wrong thing or making it worse. Too afraid the demons are actually right. 

Thankfully the ride is fairly short, and you quickly get out of the car and open his door for him. Taking his hand gently into your own and guiding him to the front door of your house, kicking off your shoes and barely waiting for him to take his off before you continue dragging him. This time towards your bedroom, and with far more care than in the practice room. 

When you arrive in your room you softly push him to sit on the bed, which he happily flops onto with no resistance. "I need to shower quick, wait for me?" You press a soft kiss to his head as he nods, eager to be good for you. He makes himself comfy and watches you walk away with sparkles in his eyes, a stark contrast to the scowl he'd displayed earlier in the day. You can't help but smile in response, grabbing a change of clothes and heading to the bathroom. 

Your shower is quick, not wanting to leave him waiting too long. But, even so by the time you get back he's sulking again. Anxious hands playing with the blanket he's staring intensely at. You can almost see the gears turning rapidly in his head and have to bite back a sigh, wondering if there is some way you could have handled this better. Some way he wouldn't have had to spend so long doubting himself and fighting his demons all alone. You had never done that before, always had been so quick to try to alleviate any pain he had. But for some reason this time, while you had thought about it many times, you didn't really do a lot to make him feel better. Nothing that seemed to work anyway, every attempt you made didn't seem to come across right to him. 

It makes him wonder why this time had to be different, why you couldn't just comfort him the way you always had before. All he needed was a bit of affection, some reassuring words to know you really were his and you weren't going anywhere. That you really meant it and weren't just saying things in the practice room to get him to stop being a brat. Was it because it was your job? Because you were frustrated? Because of something Minho had done? Because of... Hyunjin? The last two didn't really make any sense though, but that never actually made a difference in his head.

It is only now that you really realize that you've both been running in circles. With you trying to be faster in order to get alone time with him, to comfort him. Only to end up hurting him more by ignoring him in the moments he needed you, even if your intentions were good. You had just wanted it to be over so you could give him your undivided attention, you didn't want anything to get in the way. 

And he kept trying to be good for you. Even when it was hard and he didn't succeed much, he tried to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself to not ruin this for you. To not make you hate him or resent him, or give you any reasons to fall out of love or leave him. He was trying so hard, being so careful. Being so patient. He wanted so desperately to be the best for you, to be worthy of your love and be the only one you wanted. Even while his head was tumbling into the darkest places and his heart felt like it had been wrapped in chains. Someone pulling them tighter every moment Hyunjin touched you, every moment you didn't look at him while he prayed and pleaded you would. 

He didn't voice his thoughts in fear of upsetting you, or putting you off. But they had been eating him alive the entire time. To the point where no matter how many times he'd told himself you loved him and wouldn't leave him he still felt like you were going to. That that was the only explanation for you pawning it off this long. For a moment when you'd gotten to the room he had finally started to feel better, the brief moments he had your attention felt like sunshine in his raging storm. When you went to shower he had wanted to be positive, to just wait patiently for your return, just be happy he'd gotten a kiss. But the second you left, his head went right back to the storm and you'd taken any comfort or solace to the bathroom with you. 

You didn't actually need a shower, you just wanted to get away from him. Maybe you were avoiding him so you didn't have to tell him you would rather be with Hyunjin. He'd probably treat you better anyway, wouldn't be nearly so pathetic and insecure. He tries to shut his thoughts off, but instead a tear falls and you rush over and pull him into your chest. Now he just feels stupid for crying in front of you like a child. 

And so he tries to pull away and wipe his tears, make some stupid excuse about a hair in his eye. You don't let him, pulling away first and laying down beside him. Before he can even hope to speak, he's pulled down on top of you. Head resting in his favorite spot, right between your breasts. He chokes down a sob as you card your fingers through his hair, a sigh escaping his lips when his body finally relaxes. 

You take this opportunity to speak. "I'm so sorry"

"...For what?" It's muffled by your shirt, and you feel him nuzzle further against your chest. Likely in embarrassment. 

"I've done this all wrong. I thought it'd be better for you if we just hurried home but I didn't realize you'd take it the way you obviously have and I feel terrible. I am not leaving you. I would never leave you. I want to marry you one day. I don't want Hyunjin. I love you, only you. I really just wanted to shower so I wouldn't stink when we cuddled. I didn't look at you in the car because I was so focused on getting home. I wanted to wait till we were home to talk. I wanted to give you my undivided attention. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry." You kiss the top of his head between each of your sentences, hoping to be louder than the voices. Hoping to drown out any negative thoughts he could be having. 

"Oh..." He breaths, finally lifting his head to meet your eyes after a few seconds of processing your words. "M'sorry too. You shouldn't have to worry about reassuring me so much. I should be more confident, I just don't want to lose you." He sighs and plays with a strand of your hair, twirling it between his fingers. "Can we just cuddle?"

"Of course." You smile happily, glad he seems to be genuinely feeling better now that you have given him the proper reassurance he deserves, rather than some rushed words in the middle of a practice room. 

"You did great with the dance by the way..." He says bashfully as he nuzzles into your neck, tossing a leg over your own. 

"You actually saw that with your face in the cushions?" You look down at his red ears and pinch one softly between two fingers. 

He squeezes your hip in retaliation. "Meant before that. When Hyunjin was fumbling like a goon. All I could think is 'why the hell didn't they pick me?' You looked so perfect..."

"Thank you, I wish it had been. Hyunjin's great, but you're the only dancer for me." You reply in an attempt to flirt, accompanied by a playful boop to his nose.

"'Only dancer'? I am the only one for you. Period." He glares at you, pressing himself up on both arms to look down at your face. 

You laugh, looking up at the man now basically straddling your lap. "You're right, my bad. You're the only one for me, period." You lean up to kiss him fully this time, and he seems to lose himself in the kiss before pulling away a minute later, a sweet blissful smile on his face that could instantly brighten any room.

"Don't think I forgot that comment you made, by the way. I will be marrying you. I love you future Mrs. Lee Minho." He doesn't even let you reply before he's diving in for another kiss, a flurry of them really. He litters your face in the sweetest of kisses, ending it with one final passionate kiss on the lips. It only breaks when you laugh.

"Do I get a say in the matter?" 

"No." It's a firm response, and he seems to try to convince you further by leaning in to kiss you once more. This time slow, with the slightest tease of tongue, before he bites your lip and pulls back. Still straddling your legs, his ears suddenly flush again. "...You're gonna say yes though, right...?" You laugh at the drastic change in his attitude, but you love him no matter what.

"There's no other answer, of course I will Mr. Future Husband."

[traintrainingmontage]

Edward Appreciation Essay: The Choice to Be Kind

I was hoping to have this done as a 50-follower (and birthday!) milestone, but as always, life's chaos has gotten in the way. However, it IS here just in time for the Thomas TV series' 40th anniversary!! Happy Birthday, Thomas!! With that milestone in mind, let's get to it.

In much the same vein as my Skarloey Appreciation Essay, I'd like to point out something that I genuinely love about Edward, and that is his conscious choice to be kind, even when he's been mistreated by others. There's plenty of kind characters--Percy immediately comes to mind, as well as Henry (although his kindness varies depending on the depiction), Toby (to an extent), Duck, the Scottish Twins, and others. However, for Edward, kindness is one of his defining traits, especially a kindness that not only bolsters him in the face of adversity from outsiders and "friends" alike, but is a quality that he chooses to feed and fall back on, even when so many others would give in to their less generous inclinations. Please note that although I'm celebrating the anniversary of the TV series, this analysis is primarily based off of the Railway Series, since it's what I'm most familiar with. I'm also not going to focus on famous stories, such as Old Iron and Edward's Exploit, for this particular analysis.

I think there's a lot to be said for Edward's forbearance in terms of dealing with people being rude to him. He's not interested in getting even with other engines or rubbing their misfortune in their faces. He doesn't even ignore them! Instead, he continues to be kind and to be friendly, greeting everyone he sees and helping out those who need help, and in the end, continues to come out on top by choosing to not hold a grudge the way so many others on the railway do.

What motivates this particular choice, though? I'm hardly the first to speculate on why Edward is the way he is, and others have done and will do far deeper analyses on this point than me, but nonetheless, I'll offer a few ideas. In the context of the TTTE universe, I think that part of Edward's kindness simply stems from being old, wise, and experienced. He's seen engines come and go, and his class replaced and was replaced by another. The engines that are so proud of themselves now will find themselves in his wheels eventually. Plus, it's quite likely that Edward knew of engines who were replaced and eventually scrapped; back then, it wasn't the terrifying thing that it became later in the series because it followed the idea of engines simply living out their full and natural lives. Scrapping and modernization became such threats because even engines who hadn't lived out their service lives were being withdrawn and scrapped, and an early death is much more terrifying to engines than death itself.

But Edward's experience aside, he's well-versed in yard politics. If he causes trouble, then that won't make him friends with either other engines or the management. Edward has, in a sense, been abandoned for being a shy steamer, and unlike the others who are here on trial, this is his home now. They may be being rude to him in his own home, but whining and whinging will get him nowhere, and he's learned that lesson well from watching countless upstart engines be put in their place or live long enough as kings to eventually lose their crowns. He knows he's older, that he's almost lived up to the end of his expected service life, so all he can do is put on a brave face and do his best to prove that he's Useful still.

Outside of the book's context, Edward's character feels very much like an ideal of the upstanding Christian, which makes sense given Awdry's profession. Edward consistently turns the other cheek when people are cruel or rude to him. He stands up for himself through his deeds rather than giving in to anger. And that's a very important lesson to teach young children; being good and kind individuals leads to much better outcomes down the line. Edward feels like an intentional role model by which Awdry could deliver these stories to his son, and keep him as an interesting protagonist who taught important lessons about the importance of being kind and persevering through and despite adversity from both one's friends and family and outsiders. Many of us see Edward as a role model, as someone to aspire to, for this very reason.

The first example of Edward's kindness comes up in the very first story of the Railway Series. The coaches ask Edward to "not bump and bang [them] like the other engines do" (Edward's Day Out). And Edward obliges! He comes up to them "very, very gently" and takes them along. They're so grateful that they say they're glad he's the one who took them out. At the end of the story, he does have a moment where he tells the other engines: "I'm going out again tomorrow[;] what do you think of that?" (Edward's Day Out). Admittedly, this could be seen as slightly snarky, but I think it's moreso coming from a place of genuine excitement and wonder, like "Wow! Finally! Finally, I got to go out, and tomorrow, I get to do it again!" It doesn't feel malicious so much as wanting to share his joy with the others, mostly because he falls asleep right after. If he actually cared about their opinions or being right, he likely would have stayed up to hear them.

In the next story, Edward helps Gordon up the hill, and naturally, is not thanked by Gordon himself, but rather, his driver decides he'll ensure that Edward gets a nice new coat of paint in thanks for his hard work. It's quite clear though that Edward didn't help Gordon out of any expectation of a reward, or even a thank you. He did it because it was the right thing to do, and the driver noticed that. But an even better example of Edward's kindness being notable is in the next book.

After Henry is shut up in the tunnel for being vain, Gordon teases Henry about it, and Edward does not. This is pretty significant because it's rather likely that Henry was one of the engines teasing Edward in the first story:

It's quite likely that that's Henry on the left, there, with Gordon being on the second to right, next to Edward. Plus, looking at all of their smiles compared to Edward's distress, it's clear that Edward is the butt of the joke and everybody's laughing. Thus, it makes it all the more satisfying when Henry and Edward work together to pull the express, and Henry is rewarded with a new coat of paint. He wants a blue and red one, as then, he says, "I'll be like Edward" (Edward, Gordon and Henry). It's just delightful to see how Henry, who had also been unkind to Edward, now strives to be more like him due to acknowledging and seeing the kindness and grace that Edward has shown him even when Edward truly didn't have to. Edward, I think, is much more interested in making friends than remembering faults, and seeing this happen is just proof that his efforts are starting to bear fruit. What he's been doing matters. His kindness has begun paying off. And I think that this is more than enough to prove to him that his efforts AREN'T in vain. That choosing kindness will work. Edward has never been one to shy away from hard work, and this proves that it's both working and worth it.

Now, there's also times when Edward's kindness doesn't particularly help the recipient, and such an example comes in the form of the tale Thomas and the Trucks. Thomas wants to do something other than shunt, so Edward offers to let him take some trucks. However, Thomas doesn't know anything about trucks, and disregards Edward's advice about managing them. Perhaps it was irresponsible of Edward to allow Thomas to take the trucks--it could very well be a lapse in judgement that came about from wanting to do a favor for a younger colleague. However, I would also argue that Edward may not have known that Thomas had never dealt with trucks. When Edward offers, Thomas gives an enthusiastic yes. Plus, Edward clearly takes trucks to and from Barrow (he mentions that he's "got some trucks to take home tomorrow" in Thomas and the Trucks) and in the context of the story, it sounds like Edward isn't always at the same sheds that Thomas is at. Thus, he likely just didn't know that Thomas had no experience with trucks, and did indeed think that he was doing Thomas a solid. The Fat Director not being mad at Edward for his role in the mess also supports this; if he really felt Edward was at fault in any way, he wouldn't have given him compliments.

I think that a lot of the fandom also sleeps on James and the Top-Hat and Troublesome Trucks as great James and Edward stories. While it's true that James the Red Engine is often considered one of W. Awdry's worst, there's still some good moments to be gleaned from it. In the first story, James and Edward double-head a train as James has to get used to working on the railway. He gets steam all over the Fat Director's new hat and immediately wants to run away from his problems, urging Edward and his coaches on so that he can outrace consequences. He gets so overzealous that he accidentally overshoots the station, and he and Edward have to back up. Despite this, and his worsening mood, Edward is encouraging, getting them both up Gordon's Hill, and even tells him a story that causes him to laugh so hard he gets hiccups. Of course, James has to deal with the Fat Director's anger in the end, but it's clear that working with Edward, at least for a little while, brought him some comfort and relief. In Troublesome Trucks, when the coupling snaps on some of James's trucks and he has to figure out how to proceed, Edward offers help, but James refuses, wanting to do it himself. Edward then offers him encouragement throughout it all, and when James finally succeeds, is rewarded for his efforts by the Fat Director. This is an excellent start to James and Edward's friendship, which continues to deepen with time and makes their relationship in future stories such as Old Iron feel that much more organic. James comes onto the NWR as having messed up, by having a fiery debut that lands him in a field, and as seen in other stories, suffers from Gordon and Henry's derision as a result. It's my opinion that with this foundation, Edward's kindness is keenly felt and appreciated, even subconsciously, and pays off in dividends as the series progresses.

From the earliest point in their relationship, Edward is encouraging and kind, seeing James's attitude as a deep, genuine desire to do well and fear of being unable to live up to expectations. Edward knows those feelings! He's felt them keenly himself! And this is another reason why he chooses kindness: Edward has developed a keen eye for people (and engines). He has a good sense of how they're feeling, and why they may be acting the way they do. He can empathize with a lot of what everyone's going through, and that also makes it easier to choose kindness. After all, none of these engines are truly bad people. They can be arrogant and stubborn, but that comes with youth and prestige more than anything, and Edward has seen plenty of that smoothed away with time.

The last example I'll give is that of Edward and Skarloey in Skarloey Remembers. Edward knows Skarloey well, from bringing him passengers way back when, and seeing him looking worse for wear in an open-sided shed, stops to talk to him. He invites Skarloey to talk about his line and just reminisce for a while, because he knows that's what the other needs. Not to mention that he and Skarloey are on the same page about a lot of things; it's nice talking to a fellow older engine who just gets it. It's also very telling that Edward was chosen to introduce Skarloey and the Skarloey Railway; he's the best listener and it makes sense that he would have history with Skarloey. Just by listening and being invested in other engines' lives and things that they care about is he able to make genuine and meaningful connections with other engines, because Edward has learned that by listening to people, people will generally start also listening to you. It's another subtle expression of kindness that helps him connect with others and be part of their lives, and I get the sense that's really what Edward wants.

Part of Edward's idea of feeling Useful is not being lonely. He knows what loneliness is. He felt it when the Furness abandoned him on Sodor by selling him for cheap and essentially telling him to not bother coming home. He knows the shape of loneliness from staring at the other engines coming and going, never being chosen, his boiler cold. And so, when he sees other engines at their lowest, at their loneliest, when they feel foolish and without any support, he extends his kindness. He extends his empathy and support. He has been there, and wouldn't wish the same on any other engine. And he has seen how kindness pays off--perhaps not in the short term, but always in the long run. Edward's wisdom comes from one who has seen and experienced too much, and has worked hard to receive the love that he has. The world may be cruel to humans and engines alike, but that's what makes Edward's choice to be kind all the more meaningful--his kindness is given freely and rewarded handsomely, in ways both big and small.

Edward reminds us of what it means to be at our best. And it is that which makes Edward stand out for so many of us, 40 years on, as the kind of person we want to be some day.

Happy birthday, Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends, and a very, very happy birthday to you, Edward <3 Dry rails, and good running!!

[sass-ruby]

Okay so um, I'm gonna be talking about these two episodes today! (Prepare BECAUSE OH MY GOSH.)

Alright, we'll start with the first one. Can I just say that, moon absolutely angered me so much. Moon, NO ONE IS ASKING YOU FOR AN EMOTIONAL SPEECH NOR ANYTHING. It's the fact that you COMPLETELY ignored sun, didn't even bother to check up on him, and then went to work in your lab to find a solution?? Looks like history is repeating itself. But.. why? Why is the same thing repeating again? WELL I HAVE A THEORY! Sun's gonna die, someway, somehow and that's gonna be the only way moon realizes. I think this because of solar specifically. When solar heard that moon won't check up on sun, he sounded absolutely disgusted. Keep in mind, solar lived in HIS SUN'S head. That sun ALSO had a moon, and I bet solar has watched the same exact thing happen. And what happened when solar's sun died? Solar's moon went insane! Imagine the guilt moon would feel, gut wrenching. He probably ALREADY feels guilty, but would rather let it consume him whole than to comfort sun or AT THE VERY LEAST HUG HIM

Sun was there with moon during moon's (valid) breakdown, but moon being there for sun? NOOO, OF COURSE NOT!

Also if moon's gonna start with the "I'm not good with emotions" stuff, I'll lose it. YOU HAVE PROVEN IN OTHER VIDEOS THAT YOU CAN, MOON. Neptor's funeral, OR HELL WHEN THE WHOLE FINDING OUT DAZZLE'S SECRET THING HAPPENED. He listened about every kid, comforted, reassured, he was there. Although, now he's just ignoring sun. I think it's because he's a coward. And by a coward, I mean that he's too scared he'll say something wrong or make it worse, because the word is about NEXUS, someone who moon HATES, though sun loves nexus, evil or not, he was still his brother.

Moon doesn't understand that, he's jealous most likely. It reminds me so much of when nexus wasn't insane.. he was bad talking moon, and when moon returned? Moon was bad talking nexus. Both didn't want to be like each other, they DESPISE each other, calling each other knock off's (okay, THAT PART WAS KINDA FUNNY I'M SORRY.)

But.. where is sun in all of this? He missed each one. He loved each one. He loved them. He still loves them.

But they BOTH didn't understand how their words hurt sun. They're so similar in some ways, it's absurd. AND THEY DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT. Reminds me of the song "over and over" by Rio Romeo.

If sun dying is the only way for moon to realize, I'll be willing to accept it even if it is quite sad. It's disappointing, truly.

Monty's and lunar's reaction, I expected honestly. By the way, lunar-, "he's doing worse than I thought he would be.." ARE YOU STUPID, HE JUST KILLED HIS EX BROTHER?? Didn't you go through the same damn thing too? As for monty, not even surprised one bit. He's always been like that, I never really liked him, but oh well.

And THANK YOU SOLAR FOR BEING THE ONLY SANE PERSON EXCEPT MAYBE EARTH BECAUSE GOSH THIS SHOW AIN'T FOCUSING ON SUN'S HEALTH MUCH.

The urge to b*tch slap almost everyone.

I genuinely want sun to have a breakdown, he chose moon, but moon didn't bother to even check up on him.

Gosh.

------------------------------

ANYWAYS, TODAY'S EPISODE!

Just gonna add this picture again, because why not

Wow- genuinely just wow- that was-.. wow

So dark sun DID end up doing something. I must've missed something in the past video, but interesting..

I heard a person say, I forgot who it was but that SUN was the key of this whole plan

He killed nexus, he pulled the trigger and made a choice which means.. that way other suns also made choices instead of not acting

I have NO idea how sun managed to make that happen, BUT THE THEORY MAKES SENSE

In a way, I was right- he IS trying to stop the dimensional abuse of suns by them killing their own moon, I SUCK AT EXPLAINING

if anyone can explain this theory better than me, PLEASE DO.

I felt so bad for the sun in this dimension. Poor thing. Sounded scared and terrified, while repeating "I hate you", while crying and also while bashing HIS moon's head with a barrel

I wanted to hug him QwQ poor baby.. we need a name for him

ALSO HE'S MY CHILD NOW. I'M ADOPTING HIM.

Moon tried his best to keep that sun at peace, WHICH BRINGS ME BACK TO THE SAME TOPIC, WHY DOES HE HELP EVERYONE EXCEPT HIS SUN

I get it was a different situation BUT CMON.

I suppose I already ranted enough about that part, though

I would add more but I'm INCREDIBLY tired and all.. so um yeah-

[symbioticsimplicity]

Don't think about Blitz swallowing back tears to appear angry as he asks Stolas what the fuck the point of keeping this deal up was if he was just looking for a chance to throw him away when he gives him the crystal. Don't think about the face Stolas would make. DEFINITELY don't think about Stolas finally losing his tight hold on his tongue and shouting at Blitz about how it isn't fair to either of them. For Blitz to be trapped by something he doesn't want, or for Stolas who just wants someone to love and value him. How he just wants to mean SOMETHING to SOMEONE so that he doesn't feel like the utter waste of space he's always been told he was. Don't think about him dropping to his knees sobbing or about him berating himself for still being pathetic. Don't think about the violent revelation that would be for Blitz, about how he would suddenly see himself in this man he's convinced himself couldn't be any more different from him.

Don't think about Blitz just standing there and staring for a long moment, before half tripping over himself to drop down and hug Stolas. Don't think about the broken way he'd try to tell him that he gets it, he really really does, but his care and his regard are toxic. Worse than having no one. Don't think about Stolas telling Blitz that his presence in his life has always been one of the only two things to ever make him genuinely happy. Or how Stolas could tell him Blitz's presence, even at its worst has helped him grow into himself in ways he never knew he could, but had always dreamed to.

Don't think about the immovable object of Blitz's disbelief being slammed against the unstoppable force of Stolas' genuine admiration. Don't think about the way hope might begin to blossom in Blitz's eyes or about the way that confidence could creep into Stolas' voice. Because this, this is something he can do, he knows how to talk, how to persuade, when he means it.

Don't think about Blitz putting every bit of obstinate stubbornness in his body toward convincing Stolas that that isn't true. Don't think about Blitz finally airing everything he he's done wrong to everyone he's ever wronged just to make sure Stolas knows he's trash. Knows he's not whoever Stolas has built him up to be in his mind.

Don't think about the horror in Blitz's eyes when Stolas goes still in his arms. How, for no more than a heart beat, Blitz is sure he's done it AGAIN and is already set to snuff that pathetic flicker of hope Stolas momenttarily awoke in him.

Don't think about Stolas's soft, kind voice telling him he doesn't care about that. How he isn't afraid of being hurt, he'd take pain over loneliness any day, and if Blitz hurts him, he will only ever come back for more and more so long as he cares enough to give him that pain.

Don't think about Blitz being both flattered and now terrified because what the actual fuck is wrong with Stolas, didn’t he JUST leave a relationship like that, he's too goddamn good to have to put up with that, didn’t he learn, doesn't he see?!

Don't think about Stolas looking at Blitz with heartfelt desperation, or Blitz looking at Stolas desperate heart feeling. Don't think about Blitz, who wants love more than anything, who wants to be chosen more than ANYTHING, absolutely trembling in the face of true devotion. He has no idea what to do with it, but his whole life has taught him to be opportunistic and he wants.

Don't think about him asking Stolas, one more time, so quietly he barely even sounds like himself "Me?"

Don't think about Stolas looking at him like he's the most glorious being in the cosmos, don't think about the reverence in his tone or the affection in his eyes as he tells Blitz that it's always been him. Don't think about Blitz trying not to cry and losing, settling for at least hugging Stolas so he can't see. The way the owl would wrap his entire body around him, finally finding exactly what he's been looking for and incomparably happy for it. Don't think about Blitz telling Stolas that it hasn't always been him, but that he's the first one he's ever chosen to come back to.

Just some things you shouldn't think about.

[betryl]

Along with Camilla's and Bunny's, another pov I would love to see is Charles'. He had such a tragic development throughout the book, but we get to know very little about what he actually went through, and it makes it easy to put all the blame on him – of course, he was an abuser and that doesn't change, but it would still be so interesting to actually get his own opinion, without Henry, Camilla or Francis speaking on his behalf. Not to justify him, but just to see things the way he did and get yet another interpretation of the whole story.

We'd get to know what his and Camilla's relationship was actually like �� and it would probably look even worse from his perspective. His encounters with Francis, too. He puts the blame on Charles taking advantage of him, even though they were probably both taking advantage of each other in some ways – but we never got to hear how Charles felt about the situation.

We'd get to see him slowly lose his mind to alcohol, and it would probably be even more subtle than how it felt from Richard's pov, making it even the more chilling. Him getting progressively more depressed, more irritable, more violent (and therefore, I believe, more guilty about his own behavior too), to the point of being basically drunk all the time, and feeling like a totally different person to how he was at the beginning.

And then we'd get to see him get more and more paranoid about Henry. I would have loved to see more of their dynamic, because while I've seen some people reducing it to a love triangle with Camilla (?), it wasn't just that, and Charles had quite a few valid reasons to hate him. Henry pulled Charles into the whole mess basically against his will – he was the only one who, more than once, tried convincing the others the murder was a bad idea, and no one listened to him and listened to Henry instead. He was depressed for Bunny's death. He got coerced by Henry to get involved with the police too, having to bear the weight of everyone possibly ending up in jail if he did something wrong.

He realized that all of this was mostly Henry's fault, but then the situation with Camilla came along, and Charles suddenly understood he had just become the next target Henry might have wanted to get rid of – and he even tried to. He had every right being scared of him, but the others barely even believed him. So the paranoia turned into genuine fear for his life, until he eventually snapped, and we know what happened next.

All of this was hidden behind Richard's pov, which definitely made it difficult to understand his actions or how he was feeling. As much as I don't like him as a person, he really grew on me and genuinely became one of my favorite characters. And seeing it all from his perspective would be terrifying.

[devildomwriter]

Horror Movie Marathon: They React to The Blair Witch Project

Luke was put to bed and is not allowed to watch the movie

Lucifer

• He appreciates the realism of found footage and the naturalist of the characters

• He keeps mentioning things they’re doing wrong almost as soon as they begin and you get camping with Lucifer flashbacks

• As soon as the characters find the graveyard and accidentally knock a cairn over he shakes his head. “Childish mistake” What does that even mean?

• Lucifer doesn’t get scared by horror movies but he appreciates the tension building as noises and bizarre happenings increase every night until someone disappears

• When the map is lost he begins informing you how to avoid that situation and what to do to get out, including escaping actual paranormal circumstances which just unnerves you

• He nods his head and smiles as it ends, approving of the movie and genuinely enjoying it

Mammon

• If you tell him it’s a real documentary, he will dead-ass believe you and be that much more scared

• He thinks he’s safe in the daylight until they go deeper into the forest and he just knows something’s gonna pop up but when nothing does he’s more disturbed. What’s making the snapping stick sound?

• They’re just lost, where’s all the bad stuff? Then he wonders if it’s a ghost and he’s even more terrified because you can’t really see those

• The noises get weirder and people begin to vanish and lose their minds and he’s so unsettled, he keeps waiting for the witch to pop up and scare him

• Suddenly the movie ends with a scream and he’s screaming too. He’s so fucking unsettled that he never saw the Blair Witch and will not go near a forest for a while. He’s pretty convinced the Blair Witch is real.

Leviathan

• He’s okay with watching a horror movie but even more so a found footage film. He loves the awkwardness of the lead, it’s relatable

• He tells you how he would’ve gone about documenting it and what they got right and wrong. He enjoys how authentic it feels as a documentary

• He’s creeped out as things start happening at night and clings a little closer to you

• When everyone starts arguing it reminds him of a dinner they had the previous week and relaxes until it gets so much worse

• He’s pretty stiff when the ending comes, he’s prepared to see the witch but instead it’s a loud scream and he jumps

• He enjoys it but uses this movie as an excuse to stay inside

Satan

• Satan loves genuine documentaries so he really likes watching found film movies and this is basically the OG, the one that popularized the genre so he’s excited to see it with you

• Without spoiling it for himself he researches the directors, cast, and artistic direction. He also watches the fake documentary that aired before the movie

• He loves camping so he enjoys the forest setting and laughs creepily when things begin going wrong. He finds it amusing for some reason.

• He keeps mumbling directions under his breath by mistake and he’s really invested and paying attention to details you wouldn’t have seen on a seventh watch.

• He loves the movie, especially the fear of the unknown you get with never seeing the Blair Witch

• “Did they base this off the Cranber Witch?”

• “The what?”

• “Never mind, it’s better you not know.”

Asmodeus

• He’s not so big on the idea of a horror movie, especially after he wanted to relax for the night but he comes around to it for you

• He thinks the idea of tracking down a witch sounds like fun and is under the assumption it’s an actual documentary about missing persons.

• It’s fun and relaxing until they come across the graves and he knows that’s a bad sign. “Never disturb the graves, that’s what happened to Mammon.”

• When the first guy disappears and they find what’s left of him later in a bundle of sticks he begins snuggling up to you, feigning fear

• By the end of it he’s actually scared and shaking and must be comforted and told it’s not real or he won’t be able to get his beauty sleep

Beelzebub

• He doesn’t mind documentaries or horror, it’s perfect for snacking on popcorn

• He really enjoys it and then it gets to the forest and it’s a little unnerving hearing all the sticks breaking and things moving around

• He thinks they’re just lost but he’s so wrong. He keeps asking you questions about what’s happening and grows more concerned

• When Josh vanishes he really starts worrying and keeps looking over at you and occasionally pauses chewing so he can focus better on the movie

• He shakes his head when Heather follows the disembodied voice into the abandoned house and when the movie ends suddenly after a scream, he jumps a little

• He wonders what happened to all of them and is happy to be told it’s not a real documentary

Belphegor

• He’s against these people from the beginning. He just seems to genuinely dislike the characters

• He theorizes which of the rumors of the Blair witch will turn out to be true

• He calls almost everything, that Josh would vanish first since he knocked over the gravestone, that they’d be lost, that they’d hear children laughing

• Nothing surprises him, he’s commenting on it very casually as if he’d seen it before

• When things really start going wrong and everyone is panicking he laughs at them and cheers when things go wrong. He just really doesn’t like them and calls them idiots.

• He’s satisfied with the ending and asks if the bodies were ever found. He’s somewhat disappointed it’s completely fictional.

Solomon

• Solomon has heard a lot about the movie and has a general idea of what happens but is still excited to see it with you

• The rumors of the Blair witch were so intense when it came out he had to look into it as someone who guards humanity

• He’s excited to finally see what it’s all about and enjoys the dedication to the roles and the incredible improv the cast uses

• He sees all the strange things in the background and correctly predicts the eerie things coming their way. He also explains when and why some of these things would show up which makes the movie unnerving for you.

• When it’s over he’s very happy with it but says it’s oddly familiar to the Cranber witch and refuses to elaborate

Simeon

• Simeon isn’t a fan of horror movies and relaxes that it’s in the form of a documentary.

• He finds all the rumors of the Blair witch to be dreadful and wonders what kind of bloodshed he’s gotten himself into watching

• He enjoys the movie growing increasingly eerie and compliments the writers and actors about it.

• He analyzes the witchcraft-like things he sees and explains what would happen in real life which makes you cling to him a little so he makes a point of spooking you a little for fun.

• He’s disturbed when Josh’s remains are found but figured it’d happen.

• He’s very surprised by the ending and his heart beats fast as he waits for the appearance of the Blair Witch but it never happens and he’s still convinced it’ll happen during the credits

• He likes the movie but he’s not fond of all the cursing

Raphael

• He pays very close attention to the movie, not even speaking. He looks like he’s taking mental notes of all the Blair Witch rumors as if he intends to do something about the fictional situation

• His eye twitches each time someone curses, so the big argument scene is not a favorite of his

• He keeps looking at you, wondering why you aren’t disturbed and you realize he thinks this is all real. You don’t tell him because you want to see it he’ll actually go hunt down a fake witch.

• He’ll let you hold him if you get scared or feign fear because he thinks that is a natural response to the increasingly hopeless situation the trio have found themselves in

• By the end when Heather screams and is dragged away and the credits roll, he’s shaking his head and really looks like he’s about to go fight something. If you decide not to tell him it’s fake he will be pretty annoyed with you after looking for a witch that never existed. If you do tell him it’s fake he relaxes a little and can take in the movie and enjoy it more

Thirteen

• Thirteen loves a good horror movie, she also thinks they’re great inspiration for traps, especially during Halloween

• She doesn’t really vibe with the main characters and tells you this is why humans die so easily in the real world because they chase after dangerous things with too much confidence

• Thirteen enjoys all the gruesome rumors of the witch and loves it when all the bad things begin popping up. She takes notes on small stationery for ideas of scaring people, like children laughing, shaking camper’s tents, and making twig figures

• She keeps thinking the Blair witch will show up because she wants costume ideas and even though she’s a little disappointed she never got to see it she has a eureka moment and begins planning an ultimate prank to scare Solomon without ever being seen

• She enjoys the movie and would 10/10 watch it again

Mephistopheles

• As a reporter he appreciates the found-footage style horror genre. Though he’d never usually watch horror for the fun of it, he does enjoy seeing the movie that popularized a new genre of horror

• He critiques the character’s style of directing and tells you what questions would be better to ask

• He knows it’s supposed to be horror but he finds getting lost in a forest so easily to be a little silly—until things go very wrong

• Things escalate so quickly he completely rethinks his opinion of the movie thus far and by the end of it when Heather screams and disappears he is a little shaken

• He claps when it ends and praises the directing of the movie and the growing unease you get as you watch it.

• Immediately proceeds to write a lengthy review that might show up in the RAD newspaper about human world horror movies.

Barbatos

• Horror doesn’t affect Barbatos and even without his powers he can tell exactly what’s going to happen but he’s happy to relax with you and watch it anyway.

• He’s mostly silent as he watches but asks for your opinion now and then

• He shakes his head when the grave is knocked over and warns you that this is a fast way to make spirits angry with you

• He also warms you against continuing your path when you see piles of rocks or twig figures. He explains these things are very much real and you’re guaranteed an awful fate if you find them and to just call for him if you do.

• He makes the movie a thousand times more unsettling with his real-life input and horrific trivia

• He laughs when they hear strange noises and scolds them when they leave the tent. Compulsory advice is now a habit after caring for Diavolo

• He enjoys the movie and finds it a pleasant experience. He can see why some humans were “Foolish” enough to believe it was real

Diavolo

• Diavolo loves watching horror movies so he was very excited to see the good reviews the movie got, and before it could begin he goes over the trivia and history of it with you to get you more excited about it

• He’s munching away on the popcorn pretty eagerly at first and complimenting the backstory and scenery

• He becomes more quiet as things begin to go wrong and holds your hand when scary noises and twigs break sound through the night

• He begins feeling bad for the characters, even though he knows it’s just a movie, and tries giving advice to them

• “Oh no,” he says completely seriously when they find Josh’s remains. Practically shouts at Heather not to enter the cabin and when she disappears he shakes his head and says he told her not to. He does this very seriously

• He smiles again when the credits are over and pretends he wasn’t scared (unless it’ll get attention from you) but he avoids the forest for a while because he’s well aware those terrors truly exist. He just doesn’t tell you that.

[cuffmeinblack]

The experiment

Sebastian Sallow x Ominis Gaunt

Tags: explicit | first kiss | handjobs | admission of feelings

1.7k words

Summary: Ominis admits he isn't sure whether he has a sexual preference given his woeful inexperience. Sebastian offers to be his guinea pig.

A/n: Smut, with feelings.

Ominis sat next to Sebastian in the library, trying to think of a way to start his essay—Dittany and its uses. It should be fairly straightforward, but the room was full of distractions, and Scribner was nowhere to be found. Sebastian had taken to making a rolling commentary on every girl that walked past, much to Ominis' annoyance. He knew that they found Sebastian attractive, as demonstrated by the group of girls who giggled in his direction as Sebastian nudged Ominis hard in the arm. He'd spent the first half of their final year at Hogwarts growing increasingly irritated at the intrusions.

"You need to get out there more, Ominis. Is there anyone you fancy?" Sebastian muttered.

"Not really," Ominis said, idly twirling his quill in his hand.

"How does it work…you know…," Sebastian started.

"I have other senses as well, you know," Ominis interrupted.

"I know that, I'm asking if you prefer girls or boys," Sebastian said, his bluntness catching Ominis off-guard.

Sebastian was obviously more perceptive that he gave him credit for, and Ominis wasn't sure how to answer him.

"I suppose I'm more drawn to female voices, and they smell good, too," Ominis pondered.

Not entirely a lie. Except, Sebastian's voice was pleasant enough, especially when he was intentionally turning on his charm, of which he had in excess. And of course Ominis couldn't complain of the smell of his friend's hair when he leaned in to whisper some humorous remark or devilish jibe in his ear. He couldn't deny his fierce affection for his friend, or the jealous pangs in his stomach he felt whenever Sebastian flirted with a girl, he had simply chosen to ignore them—he was just lonely, scared of losing his friend.

"That they do," Sebastian agreed.

Ominis sighed. "I suppose I wouldn't know until I tried is my truthful answer."

A silence stretched between them as Ominis regretted his answer, doing his best to stop his cheeks from burning by nervously fiddling with his tie. He'd had it wrong, Sebastian simply wanted to believe they were the same, when it came to the most basic of urges. Of course they weren't.

"Do you want to?" Sebastian said finally in a quiet, almost subdued voice, completely rid of the cocky assuredness it usually held.

"Do I want to what?" Ominis asked, frowning.

"Try." 

His reply was almost a whisper. Struck dumb, Ominis' mouth hung open as he stammered and tried to form a coherent sentence in reply. 

"What are you talking about Sebastian?"

"I…never mind."

"Was that a genuine offer?"

"Yes."

The thought utterly terrified him, not only because of his woeful inexperience in such matters but because it was Sebastian—his best friend, his confidante. What if he hated the experience, would it make their interactions awkward? What if he did, in fact, enjoy it—that almost felt like a worse prospect, the thought of being sexually attracted to his friend who had only offered out of…what, charity?

He didn't have much time to dwell on the matter as he found himself being dragged across the library by Sebastian's hand around his wrist. He hadn't expected the forcefulness from his friend, who pulled him into a quiet corner, the chatter from the main library left behind. Ominis' heart beat rapidly and painfully in his chest as he felt Sebastian move closer to him, his breath on his face and hands brushing his forearms. Sebastian seemed to be reconsidering the idea as they stood in silence until Ominis drew a sharp breath, which seemed to spur him into action.

Sebastian pressed his mouth to his, their bodies both still, considering the development and waiting for a reaction. Ominis was frankly terrified, though the feeling of Sebastian's soft lower lip between his own stirred something deep inside him and he willed himself to move, parting his own lips to deepen the kiss. Sebastian seemed to think this was enough of a reaction as he tilted his head and pressed his body against Ominis', taking what little breath remained in his lungs away. Ominis gasped and parted his lips eagerly, anticipating Sebastian's tongue which delved into his mouth and found his own.

Ominis had expected his first kiss to be a gentle and awkward encounter, but this was frenetic and intense, as if they'd been waiting for this moment for years. If Ominis were truthful to himself, he had—and the reasons for the late nights where he found himself thinking of his best friend's face nuzzled against his neck became painfully obvious. 

They were now so entangled that he could feel Sebastian's hip bones pressing into him as Ominis gripped his waist tightly, Sebastian's hands tangled in Ominis' hair. Their breathing was erratic and Ominis found it hard to remain silent and keep his ears open to any noise from wandering students. He lost his control once he felt Sebastian's hips push against him, his own arousal so painfully clear. Ominis let out a quiet moan at the friction and Sebastian became completely still then started pulling away, his hands quickly untangling themselves from his hair.

Ominis had no idea what to say or do, so simply stood there and waited for Sebastian to say something. But he never did, only turned and left without another word, leaving Ominis standing against the cold wall, dishevelled, aroused and confused.

-

Sebastian wasn't in Charms, in fact Ominis didn't see him at all for the rest of the day. He wasn't even at dinner, and Ominis picked at his food for a while before giving up and retiring to the common room. He asked a few of his classmates about Sebastian's whereabouts but nobody seemed to know where he was. Ominis thought he knew where he would be, but clearly Sebastian was avoiding him, and he wasn't sure what would be achieved by ambushing him. Ominis needed to think carefully about what to say—should he apologise? Put it down to being inexperienced and touch-starved? It hadn't been a feeling he could control, after all. 

Sebastian's own actions were confusing enough—he had been the one to suggest it, initiate it, and his kisses were eager. Ominis had no basis for comparison, but he was pretty sure that Sebastian had enjoyed it, too. Ominis tried to distract himself by reading but the pursuit seemed entirely hopeless. He retreated to the dormitory, deciding to get an early night.

His roommates filed in over the coming hours as Ominis lay in bed, thinking, fidgeting, and waiting. Sebastian was the last to enter the room just before curfew, Ominis recognising his familiar footfalls and the scent of his skin.

"Are you just going to ignore me for the rest of our lives, Sebastian?" he said. 

The hours of rumination had turned his thoughts angry and bitter. Sebastian stopped his approach towards his bed and Ominis noticed his roommate's chatter die down. They must be used to the two friends' bickering but Ominis rarely used such a tone. Sebastian walked towards Ominis, who was sitting on top of his bedsheets in his pyjamas, books strewn over the mattress. Ominis felt the dip in the bed as Sebastian's weight fell next to him, heard the curtains around his bed draw shut and a loud sigh and a muttered silencing charm.

"I'm not apologising, Sebastian. You started it. I can't help it if I…" Ominis trailed off, losing some of his confidence.

"What? Why would you apologise?" Sebastian asked.

Ominis frowned. He thought that was fairly obvious.

"For becoming…," Ominis breathed deeply, trying to force the words out. "Aroused."

"Merlin's beard, Ominis. So was I, that's why I left," Sebastian muttered.

"So what does that mean?" Ominis said, his head swimming.

"I don't know, I suppose that the experiment was a success?" Sebastian laughed weakly.

"I suppose it was," Ominis said nervously.

"Well I'm in your bed now, so…," Sebastian said, pushing Ominis back against the headboard and straddling his lap.

Ominis knew what to expect this time and chose to lose himself in the moment instead of worrying if the silencing charm would hold. He moaned into Sebastian's mouth as he hummed appreciatively. Ominis' buttons were swiftly undone, Sebastian's hands finding their way to his chest and gliding across his taut stomach. 

"I've wanted this for so long," Sebastian muttered as his mouth found Ominis' neck, kissing and sucking his skin gently. Ominis found it so much more exciting than his fantasies. Sebastian's top was thrown to the end of the bed and Ominis felt his way around his torso. He had imagined Sebastian's body to be similar to his but he was broader as well as taller, with more muscle on his frame. He traced the hardness of his abdominal muscles down, stopping tentatively at his waistband. Sebastian ceased his exploration of his neck and rest his forehead against his temple, breathing heavily against his cheek, taking Ominis' hand gently and placing it on his erection.

"Touch me, Ominis, please," he whispered.

Ominis felt fear bubble up inside him—he'd only learned how to pleasure himself, what if Sebastian liked different things? What if he was disappointed? He ran his thumb over the head of his cock, glistening with precum, and ran his hand down the shaft, taking him in his hand firmly and starting a steady rhythm. Sebastian's fingers curled into his hair as his mouth returned to Ominis', planting slow and deep kisses on his lips and moaning altogether too loudly. Apparently Ominis did know how to pleasure him.

Sebastian sensed Ominis' own growing frustration and increasingly urgent thrusts of his hips and his hands dropped to pull down his pyjama trousers. As he took Ominis' erection in his hand, he shouted an expletive and whimpered as Sebastian stroked him gently. As their orgasms built, Ominis could feel Sebastian's hand becoming shaky as their tempos matched.

"I'm going to…," Ominis gasped into Sebastian's mouth.

Sebastian groaned as he finished, thrusting into Ominis' hand, his cum spilling over his fingers. Ominis felt his orgasm explode just afterward, his arms shaking and legs numb from Sebastian's weight on his thighs. They'd made an awful mess, but they didn't much care, instead brushing their lips against each other and gasping until their breathing steadied.

"Merlin, you're beautiful, Ominis," Sebastian whispered. 

Ominis smiled and wondered how they'd waited seven years for this.

[milkiisss]

Sylus NSFW-ish Ramble

(with a very short NSFW Xavier ramble at the end as well)

This isn't a story or anything - more like a random ramble/rant about him? (also a headcanon)

!Spoilers Ahead!

Okay, so for a long time now I've been seeing a lot of stories and posts talking about how rough Sylus would be in bed, and don't get me wrong, I agree,

Somewhat.

Sylus adores Mc, like he would giver her the world. This is like literally proven during so many different parts of the story, and one of the main points in his recent myth is that she was the only person who didn't see him like a monster. He LOVES her, and as the story progresses, this manifests in so many ways, most specifically how gentle he is with her.

Now, I'm personally a huge fan of the theory that Sylus was actually resurrected (which by the way is a whole other theory because I genuinely do not think Sylus is the actual villain of the story - especially now with the insinuations in the latest myth, but I digress) whilst MC was reincarnated, and I especially like the idea that he wasn't expecting her to be a reincarnation.

So imagine Sylus's shock when the only person who saw him for who he was, the one woman he only ever loved, was repulsed and disgusted by him.

Ouch.

He must have been utterly devastated and extremely hurt, especially knowing that this probably meant she had no recollection of who he was.

So obviously he's forced to start from ground zero, which leads me to my main point.

He must be terrified of losing her.

Which is why he's so cautious with how he treats her. He's rough in the beginning, yeah, but I honestly think this is just because of the frustration he has. He was so eager to resonate with her, literally trying everything, and as soon as he was told that it would hurt her, he stopped instantly.

I think this also is what causes him to realize that she isn't his MC, like yeah, she looks exactly like her, but she has none of their memories, and although they are still soul bound (im assuming because of their Evol linkage) it will take a while for her to remember what actually happened.

Which is why he's so PATIENT!!!

He is a huge tease and he plays all this shit up, but he cares for her in such a way that seriously leads me to believe that he would treat her as if she was made of glass when they first have sex.

He would want to savor it, make sure she felt good, relish in every single movement and sound, all the while being super gentle with her.

So yeah, the first time with Sylus, in my mind, is EXTREMELY vanilla. There would be tons of kissing, touching, pleasing you, and making sure you're ready - and he strikes me like the type to relish missionary or giving you control because he needs access to your lips after so long. (also he gives me some serious doggy vibes, but again, only if his mouth can be on yours the entire time.) He would want to make it special, mostly because I'm not quite sure him and mc ever had the chance to in their last life together, and even if they did, he missed her.

HOWEVER.

Let's be real.

He will always put your comfort first, even if you were to say that you only ever wanted to do gentle, slow and sweet vanilla sex for as long as you both lived, he would be more than happy to give you that slow and gentle sex for the rest of your life.

But the second you moan for him to go harder? Or ask if he can do it rougher????

My brother in christ you are COOKED.

Because that man will NOT hold back.

He will give you exactly what you asked for, and more.

So call sick to work beforehand, because you will not be able to walk the following day.

Anywho, yes, thats my Sylus ramble. It's pretty random, but I was starting to grow tired of constantly seeing people say that he's a man incapable of gentle or vanilla sex. Like he 100% loves a hot steamy slow makeout session while grinding into you and you can NOT change my mind.

He's def the type to make you use a safeword when you guys do start exploring though ;)

I also think that Xavier is very often misinterpreted, because I've seen so many people saying that he would be the softest and most delicate and inexperienced and submissive and finish the quickest blah blah blah-

And to that I will simply say.

HAVE YOU SEEN HIS CARDS??? THAT MAN IS A MENACE!!!

AND his character is associated with a bunny.

you know what bunnies do??

fuck.

A LOT!

that man is definitely not a saint...

LMAO anyways I'm done because this post is already extremely long, but I am FILLED with headcanons for all of the boys as well as mounds of theories and lore, so if you would like to hear more feel free to ask.

I can ramble all day long I fear.

And as a quick end note! I am in no way shape or form throwing any sort of shade to people who do believe the headcanons that I mentioned earlier! This is just my opinion, and you are totally free to have your own.

In fact-please do, because I would be lying if I said I didn't devour the fanfics with rough Sylus and soft Xavier anyways. 🤭

© milkiisss 2024. Please don’t plagiarize or feed my works into ai.

[oh-no-its-bird]

sorry but I genuinely need to know what the outside perspective of stoner Itama is- the ultimate weed supplier of Konoha?? At what point do they draw the line with this guy 😭

A wonderful question that makes me lose my mind a little bit to even consider actually

So we've already talked about how in this verse, Itama and Tobirama were trained to fight together as a duo, so they probably have at least a battle reputation that's tied pretty closely together

Actually hmm I'm thinking and that could cause problems for Izuna specifically, bc him and tobirama are on even ground and Itama would definatley tip the scales there

Ok so rewind -> they're trained to fight together and fucking terrifying, but for Reasons(tm) Itama tends to stick close to home base as a last line of defense / resident healer and clan poison master

When they send Tobirama and Itama out together it's to get shit DONE. Maybe Hashirama, in his desire for peace, actually specifically leaves him behind bc he knows if the twins go out on the battlefield together, certain pieces he doesn't want moved will certainly be doing some goddamn moving

As such, he doesn't have much of a reputation / maybe there's some sort of rumor ab him being sickly floating around

This also means he can do fun spy things bc no one knows what he looks like!! Which is even more reason to keep him off the battlefield, yayy

Funny bit where Itama and Izuna run into eachother in the wild and Itama totally knows who this guy is but Izuna has no idea who he is. Maybe they help eachother out a bit and Itama makes a joke about how he got separated from his brother, who's "tall and grumpy and acts like a cute little kitty cat <3"

And Izuna is like, haven't seen him, sorry

Then Tobirama shows up and Izuna is screeching "THATS Bibi-chan???" As Itama uwus and goes "I told you didn't I? My bibi-chan is tall and grumpy and acts like a cute kitty cat <333"

(Izuna feels like he's having an aneurysm)

Blah blah blah Konoha is made early yayy friendship peace and ninja drugs galore what a beautiful world we live in

The consensus on Itama inside Konoha is that he's very nice and the most reasonable / easy to work with of the 3 Senju brothers (HIGHLY debatable, they are all insane in very different ways)

Anyone who meets him personally within professional bounds finds him very charming and soft spoken, with the type of personality on the surface that'd make you think he isn't fit for shinobi work (which, to any shinobi worth their salt, is a red flag in itself)

Itama is very conscious of public opinions, and he's friends with Izuna who's like got spy master vibes going on for him— they probably collaborate together sometimes in that field. So he has a good grasp on what people think of him / how to manipulate that

OUTSIDE of the village, since Itama mostly avoided public eye for so long, he doesn't have too much of a reputation. Even after he started going out with Tobirama on public missions regularly, bc of Tobirama's own big reputation, whenever they do insane shit it tends to be attributed to him— not the harmless looking guy standing innocently behind him

Konoha's secret weapon,,

Anyways !! I don't think the fact that Itama is specifically the mind behind the really good konoha weed is public knowledge. It's definitely known that it's a Senju product, and a lot of people probably assume it's Hashirama

Itama IS however known as the guy who totally always has that good ninja weed, and he's totally always on staff as one of the first faces any visiting important people see. He's so disarming, he's great at charming dignitaries

He and Izuna probably get sent to the capital whenever they need court representation actually. Konoha's pretty politics duo here to smile nicely and feed you pretty lies

What the fuck was I talking about again

RIGHT OK SO

Outside of the village people don't really know Itama has as much importance / influence as he does, due to a mix of on purpose subterfuge and just everyone around him having really big reputations that he carefully allows to overshadow his own

It benefits him :)

They never see the Itama inquisition coming

<- This also means that when he does insane shit he never fails to get "oh what the fuck" reactions from anyone new around him (he finds the process of watching people realize he's just as bad / possibly even WORSE than his brothers very, very funny)

[mmikmmik]

I like that all of Siffrin’s possible wishes are impossible for him to experience while stuck in the time loops. Both on a surface level of what he’s literally wishing for (meeting Nille, going new places, etc) and on a deeper level (seeing Mirabelle continue to change, etc). It’s not just that he wants to be with the party, it’s that he wants to keep moving forward with the party and have a future together.

By Act 5, Siffrin has become deeply convinced that “moving forward” and “being together” are mutually exclusive, to the point that he’s not only given up on his wish, but is terrified to think about or admit it.

Obviously he wasn’t originally stuck in that mindset, or he wouldn’t have been able to make the wish in the first place. I think Act 3 is largely the journey towards Siffrin getting mentally locked up, so that he’s no longer able to act on what he learns about Wish Craft in Act 4. They confront their past in a deeply traumatic way, interpreted largely through the viewpoint of the man who is The Worst At Coping Anyone Has Ever Been. He tries to find a better way to cope with losing his homeland and his family and his past, but he tries to share that with the King and it backfires in the worst way imaginable. They bond with their friends and become family, but then lose it and are devastated and let down that it didn’t help. Healthy ideas like “try something new” or “think about moving on” or “try to have a positive bonding experience with your loved ones” keep backfiring, and the loops become both an awful nightmare prison and (in Siffrin's mind) the only possible source of security and companionship.

I think if Sif had somehow confronted his wish early in Act 3, he might have been able to cope with it and make some progress. But I’m not sure even Loop could have explained it. Definitely some of the questions Loop raises are for Siffrin’s benefit, but I got the sense Loop had never fully understood how their own wish had trapped them, and Loopquest was them genuinely learning new things about what triggered the loops. Maybe they didn’t even remember what their own wish was, by the time they started investigating Wish Craft and/or were considering making a new wish when they were still Siffrin - it was so much longer ago for them. That may have been addressed in the game and I'm just forgetting.

[5eraphim]

Would you ever write something about Scout as a rabbit hybrid thingy? This question was inspired from your “Puppy Eyes” fic that I’m in love with

In my head writing this, Scout is meant to be a hybrid, but still goes through transformations cycles like a werewolf would, and isn't exactly in a fully human form when not a werewolf.

Rating: M (MINORS DNI, GO PLAY OUTSIDE)

Content Warnings: rabbit hybrid, yandere, exophilia, taboo fantasies/roleplay (CNC, cop/prisoner, cop/serial killer, incest, abuse of power, revenge sex), reader is kept gender neutral

MASTER LIST

TIP JAR

Highly prone to "puppy love," which makes him feel paradoxical guilt for lusting after you so intensely, and he genuinely struggles to work up the courage to ask you out. Partly because, despite his narcissistic personality, the idea of getting rejected terrifies him more than anything imaginable, and he can't help but choke up in the moment.

Because of this, he'll be looking for any excuse to get his hands on you as soon as you give them the green light. The brutal truth here is for your first week or so of hooking up, Scout is horny out of his mind but, unfortunately, unperceptive of your needs. Scout has too much pent-up frustration to give much pleasure on your behalf and can't stop bursting pretty early. It's a learning curve for both of you to get this right, but he's eager to please. (Once he can figure out how, that is.) He's got to do a lot of learning on the fly here because even if it's evident to you that he's pretty out of his league, he refuses to admit it.

He thinks it's cute that you assumed he would be 100% sub, someone you could order around and easily control, but Scout's pretty versatile and prioritizes variety above all else. (Blame his hyper-active imagination for this, as well as a shameful amount of time jerking off and daydreaming about sleeping with you.)

Unsurprisingly, Scout is extraordinarily needy behind closed doors. (He's a very hands-on person in public, too, but there's more desperation when other people aren't watching.) Scout is prone to nightmares about losing you if the two of you are apart for too long.

Gets embarrassingly aroused when you wear anything with a bunny logo on it. The Playboy logo is like crack to him.

When he goes fully cum-brained he'll have some of the most deranged taboo fantasies of the two of you, often gross, or sometimes just flat out weird.

You're a rookie detective agent given the assignment of a lifetime set to assist in the investigation of a serial killer targeting citizens like you alone at night in your hometown. Because you're so new and don't have much experience in the field, you try to catch him all by yourself and are given a grim reality check.

You're a prisoner, and he's a cop in charge of supervising your cell. You were put in solitary confinement for bad behavior, failure to follow the rules, and fighting with other prisoners. You're too far away from the others to call for help, and Scout knows that. At the end of the day, it'll be his word against yours. 

The two of you are step-siblings sharing a bedroom with overprotective parents. He's muffling you with his sweaty palm while using his other hand to keep your thighs apart while he thrusts inside.

He's a jilted lover who's holding you hostage, determined to babytrap you so you'll never have the option of abandoning him freely ever again.

Scout gets really nippy when he first transforms. No matter how many times he goes through all this, the rabbit teeth will hurt when they grow back in, and he goes through a semi-second mini-teething phase to get used to them. They usually won't hurt so long as you don't try to resist too much.

The transformation cycle fucks with his brain chemistry and hormones like crazy. Unfortunately, the main reason behind his intense neediness and proclivity for jealousy is due to factors largely out of his control. 

Related to the insane sexual fantasies he has for you, expect Scout to ask you some strange questions about the relationship, such as,

Would you be mad at me forever if I killed both your parents?

Would you still wanna date me if you found out we were cousins?

Would the two of us have been friends as kids? 

Is there any chance we would've dated in high school?

Would you still want to be in a relationship with me if you were the monster and I were the human?

The very first transformation of his into a rabbit as your partner would be the most painful and intense one of his entire life. At last he finally has met his own mate, someone to help keep his bed warm at night, to protect with his life, and to Scout you are synonymous with the future in life itself. But still, he was scared to death thinking about laying a hand on you in such a state. Despite what you might expect, he would put you and your safety first, at least for the first two or three months. His horniness simply cannot entirely surmount the hypothetical guilt of accidentally killing you or ruining his chance to get intimate in the future.