#Like the idea of losing his mind makes him genuinely terrified

[bunnieswithknives]

RAHHHh ok comics done I can post this now!!! He is having the worst possible time

[hxnbi]

⸻ °♡⃘ . WIND BREAKER BOYS AS ROMANCE TROPES

pairings. umemiya hajime, choji tomiyama, sakura haruka, endo yamato, kiryu mitsuki x gn. reader (separate)

part two

UMEMIYA HAJIME + childhood friends to lovers

in my eyes, umemiya is one who would undoubtedly prefer someone who knows him better than himself and connects with him than anyone else—that person being the one he grew up with, someone who can bear his craziness and his occasionally unhinged behaviour. scratch that, his consistently unhinged behaviour.

with all the hardships he had been through in his life, from scraped and bloody knees from playing in the park to shared secrets between you two, you were always there for him, and so would he. umemiya has been your constant since childhood, and the same goes with him. the transition from friends to perhaps something more was seamless. almost as if it had always been meant—waiting, patiently, to happen. friendship formed the foundation of your relationship, and it would be what remains. as you both grew, so did your feelings, maturing into a love that was as enduring as umemiya himself. only when he faced the idea—the terrifying possibility of losing you, did he realize.

“that’s it…”

hiragi’s face scrunched up, peering over at umemiya, whose face was compressed onto the desk he was laying on. “the hell are you talking about?”

with a burst of energy, umemiya suddenly lifted his face from the desk like a startled meerkat, “THATS IT! THAT’S WHAT IT IS! I LOVE THEM!!” leaving hiragi practically hyperventilating, sighing heavily before popping more than a few pills into his mouth for good measure (not medical advice).

“still don’t understand who you’re referring to…”

that’s just it… you weren’t “just a sibling” to him. he never thought that way. he never ever saw you in only that way.

he began dreaming up a future with you. after all, you knew him best, had been through his best and worst moments, and even then, stuck by him. his desire to be protective over you was a comforting presence, even if it was sometimes perhaps a bit overbearing, but that was umemiya’s personality. through the years, his commitment to you never changed, never wavered, for his mind was already made up.

he didn’t know that the one he needed by his side was there all along. you’ve always been by each other’s side, and now, as you both grow older and as the years tick by, umemiya can't, he just couldn't imagine a day without you. you mean too much for him to just let you go. friendship turned into love, and before you knew it, you both would be together, dancing at your wedding.

...or so was umemiya’s dream when he woke up that morning, just wishing for that to be a reality.

CHOJI TOMIYAMA + love at first sight

a simple, straightforward case of who has caught your eye sort of trope, but choji knew that this was different. choji was never one to hide his emotions—wearing his feelings very much on his sleeve, and when he saw you for the first time, his heart made its intentions clear. the world stops around him the first time he sees you, and he very obviously stares and gawks at you with no shame. it was love at first sight.

togame’s eyes widen like a deer in headlights. “w-what? are you sure?” 

“yeah!! it was like nothing i’ve ever felt before,” choji sighs exasperatingly, leaning on his chair with a clear conscience, “they were so dreamy… i wish i could see them again.”

and see you again, he would. Not by accident, as what you initially thought, but choji and choji alone would pull the strings to make every meeting seemingly happen, all the while acting as naturally as possible.

choji’s larger-than-life personality meant he pursued you with an earnest intensity. his eyes would light up every time you entered the room, glowing with delight every time everytime you paid him even an ounce of affection, and despite that, choji still wanted more. he wanted so much more. his affection was genuine and pure, devoid of any pretence. even togame couldn’t question the authenticity of choji’s supposed affection for you. the boy was utterly smitten.

choji finds any and every way he can to approach you. and his efforts aren’t for naught, as even you could see the sparkles in the boy’s eyes, down to the way he would stare down at him without saying a word. perhaps creepy in any other instance, but it never felt that way to you.

a nervous yet friendly smile would frequently accompany choji’s awkward attempts to get close to you. there was something just so endearing in choji’s gaze—a kind of innocence and even childlike admiration that made your heart soften. he wasn’t just staring; he was taking in every detail of your face and expression as if trying to memorize your presence. his eyes, wide with wonder, held no malice nor ulterior motives, just a simple, unspoken, pure and honest adoration, all underlining his true sincerity.

HARUKA SAKURA + forced proximity

from when he was young, sakura has always distanced himself from people. he had never been one for social interactions, preferring the solitude of his own thoughts rather than the scrutiny of a crowd watching him, judging him. to him, his existence in their lives was a curse. only he deserved it, and only he would bear it. but when circumstances forced you into close quarters, his aloof and icy exterior began to thaw. the closeness of your body next to him, the warmness of your breath, made sakura uneasy, and yet, he didn't pull away. 

initially, like with everyone else sakura ever connected with, he followed his usual pattern of what he knew to do best—pushing you away. not just metaphorically but physically, shoving you to the ground when all you did was to try and lightly tap his shoulder. he had hurt you. this was what always happened without fail. but even still, you never went away, like a rather pesky mosquito.

during the unfortunate times when you were forced to share a small space with him, seeing first-hand the rare moments of openness he usually kept hidden, even from those who supposedly knew him best—because no one actually did. the forced short proximity in the cramped quarters revealed an authentic side, all in the subtle ways he watched over you that your eyes slowly caught on to.

“stay away from me. it’s better for both of us.”

time and time again, you would wonder and question why he continuously tried to gently push you away, but never to the point of truly physically shoving you away and hurting you. even so, sakura, still cared about you. that, he would never deceive.

“no, it’s not, sakura. i told you, i’m not going anywhere.” 

while it did hurt for him to say that about you when all you did was to be his heart, it hurt you, even more, to know that this was truly how he thought of himself to be—a “person” who didn’t deserve love and affection.

“...i don’t need anyone. especially not you.”

“...maybe. but maybe you need someone who won’t leave, no matter how hard you push.”

“YOU’RE JUST GOING TO BE HURT WITH ME—”

you smiled. “then let me be the one to decide that for myself. right?"

no matter how many times he would push you away, despite his constant attempts to distance himself, you were never going to leave that easily, and perhaps sakura knew that his face flushing red. a small crack had formed in sakura’s defences. you never thought that “being stuck” with sakura was a curse, but a chance to see the true person behind the mask.

ENDO YAMADO + opposites attract

endo was your complete opposite in every conceivable way. his piercing, intense gaze was a contrast to your own vibrant, pastel, and borderline revolting energy, balancing each other’s strengths and differences, light and shadow. rather than a mix of oil and water, it created a dynamic that neither of you could have predicted.

endo is more on the serious side. no, very much on the serious side, so your fun and excitement help him loosen up. to many, your contrasting qualities complemented each other, filling the gaps that the other lacked. some would say that your kindness filled the empathy that endo very much lacked, but regardless, endo’s initial skepticism turned into a fascination, and he found himself drawn to the very traits that set you apart from him. he finds it adorable when you do things he would never even dream of, like dancing in the rain, but he never particularly commented on them to keep his composure.

he admires your personality in a rather subtle, aloof way, although he would never say those words out loud. his pride is too great for that. you’re each other’s comfort and sanctuary, finding things in each other you both never had. so strong, in fact, that your honey-coated words and presence can hardly push you away from him, and over time, endo lets you.

your contrasting qualities complemented each other, filling the gaps that the other lacked. anyone who even dares to threaten the solace of your company at your side, endo treats as a literal threat to himself.

after all, you were quite literally his other half.

“yama… why do you always act like you need to protect me?”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

you would give him a look that said, “you can’t fool me,” and he would only tsk and whisk his head in the other direction. 

you’re important to him, more than he can ever put into words. every glance, every small gesture, and every moment. endo doesn’t bother himself with the extravagance of affectionate words and grand declarations, but his actions go far beyond that. the second he notices something out of the ordinary—specifically, that you weren’t at his side at that exact moment of the day like always—he starts beating people up in a fit of rage. he goes berserk and sees red, and only when you arrive (after being frantically called in through your cellphone) does he finally calm down, asking you furiously where you were, with your shoulders being held in the grip of steel.

“fuck… you’re such a troublesome person.”

he needs to protect you, endo thinks. you’re the total opposite of him. you were kind, docile, and gentle, you were like his other half. the opposite of him that he cherished. whoever hurt you meant that they had to deal with him too. no one hurts his lover and gets away with it. everyone in the area knew this fact.

perhaps, opposites do indeed attract.

KIRYU MITSUKI + the boy next door 

kiryu was the quintessential boy next door. he was a sweet neighbour and a total gentleman that everyone admired. looking back at you and his first visit, it could have been more timely. as soon as the doorbell rang, your eyes would groggily open as you went to get the door to see who on earth was the person who disturbed your sweet nap. and as you opened the door, you saw a cute guy standing with a basket of miscellaneous goods in his hands. you almost thought you were still dreaming until you rubbed your tired eyes. “

“i’m mitsuki kiryu, your new neighbour. i just moved into the house beside yours. i met your parents yesterday but you weren’t here, so i figured i should introduce myself personally since we’re the same age and all.”

startled, you were very visibly taken aback, “o-oh, thank you. but, uh, shouldn’t i be the one giving you something?” you said sheepishly.

“oh, well, then you can always just give me something later!” he replied with the brightest smile imaginable, making you sweatdrop.

‘that’s not… what i meant.’

granted, your first impression of him was pretty unexpected, but he quickly proved to be a friendly person who truly had a heart of gold. you found yourself slowly falling for him after spending some time with him as a friend—his easy smile and warm eyes offering a sense of home.

but to find out that your life wasn’t the only one that changed, and that kiryu felt the same. as you grew older, so too did your friendship with the boy you first considered to be a mere neighbour. you were hardly even surprised when you heard that kiryu was a part of bofurin—a gang even you had come to admire. in a way, you weren’t surprised; it suited him and his upstanding moral compass. it didn’t, and never did, drive you away.

he was the boy next door, but also so much more—your confidant, your partner in crime, and your love.

©hxnbi. comments, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated ♡

[sgt-tombstone]

Like A Baby

————

Ghost sleeps like he’s in a coffin

On his back, straight as a board, arms crossed over his chest, the whole nine yards

When Soap and Gaz see him do it for the first time in the field, they think it’s a joke, that he’s leaned into the whole Ghost thing a little too hard. They think it’s funny, albeit slightly disconcerting

But over the course of several missions, they realize that Simon genuinely has no idea that he does it. He goes to sleep laying down like anyone else, in whatever position is most comfortable in the middle of an op, but as soon as he slips unconscious, his body naturally arranges itself into the most macabre position possible

They want to tell him about it so badly, but Price convinces them not to. He doesn’t tell them why, he just says that it would be a bad idea, and they trust him enough not to push it

Until Soap lets it slip one night while they’re at a bar, makes a stupid joke about Ghost “sleeping like the dead” that Gaz laughs a little too hard at and they only realize their mistake when Ghost’s eyebrows knit in confusion. So they fess up, reluctantly, and tell him that he sleeps like a corpse. Arms crossed and everything. He refuses to believe it at first, because denial has always worked for him in the past, and he wouldn’t put it past the sergeants to pull his chain like this, especially since they don’t know. But then Soap says he’ll snap a picture the next time he sees it and Ghost starts to get scared

Sure enough, two weeks later finds them in the middle of fucking nowhere in the middle of the fucking night, and Ghost settles down against a wall that’s more rubble than structure. He resolutely stays sitting up because he desperately wants to prove the sergeants wrong, but as soon as he falls asleep, his body slumps over and turns until he’s on his back, arms crossed, spine straight. Soap snaps his picture and feels guilty about it all night

When he wakes up the next morning, Ghost’s first words to him are, “show me,” and Soap should know better but apparently he doesn’t because he pulls up the picture. It’s dark and slightly blurry but unmistakable. Like a fucking corpse

It sends Ghost into a tailspin. The only reason why he doesn’t lose it completely is because Price is there to hold him together. Instead, he shuts down. It feels like a betrayal from his own body, his own mind. It’s a sick joke, a cosmic ‘fuck you’, a trauma response of epic proportions. He’d escaped his own grave, but apparently his sleeping mind didn’t know that

When they get back to base, no one sees or hears from Ghost for close to three weeks. Soap is losing his mind, Gaz is ready to tear the base apart to find him, and even Price (usually very used to Ghost’s moods) is visibly worried. Finally, Soap corners him in the sniper tower where he’s been taking stim packs and caffeine pills in an attempt to avoid sleep altogether. Soap damn near drags him, stumbling and off balance from exhaustion, to bed. Despite how tired he is, he can’t fall asleep, his heart and mind racing with panic at the thought of his unconscious body forcing him to become a corpse again

Right up until Johnny lays down next to him. And then his mind goes blissfully quiet. His heart is still pounding, but for a completely different reason as Johnny curls his body around Simon’s, arranging their limbs in such a way that Simon couldn’t possibly straighten out. It’s the warmest he’s ever been, the most comfortable he’s ever been. With his arms around Johnny and Johnny’s head tucked under his chin, he falls asleep effortlessly

When he wakes up, the first thing he mumbles is, “how did I…?” but he can’t bring himself to finish it, terrified of the answer. Johnny just smiles up at him, mohawk askew and cheek creased from being pressed against Simon’s shirt all night, and says, “like a baby.”

Simon never sleeps like he’s in a coffin ever again

[dunmeshistash]

I've been having a bunch of ideas kinda float around my mind like little screensavers that I didn't feel like putting on paper, but one of these ideas just so happened to hit a corner, and it gave me an idea for what might perhaps be a bit of a silly (and oddly specific) question, but one I was very interested in asking nonetheless. Especially after reading your long post on the Demon's perspective of Laios' backstory. I really hope you don't mind.

While my memory's a tad blurry on how the scene played out in detail, I still find Laios' confrontation with the demon to be one of my favorite scenes. Definitely top 5. It's the one where Laios secretly orders Izutsumi to execute him at the slightest hint of suspicion. That one. I think that scene is among my favorites because it's both a perfect demonstration of Laios' remarkable cleverness hidden underneath all that lack of social skills, but it's also the perfect demonstration of how utterly terrifying the demon is.

At first I was under the assumption that Laios had it all under control, but the Demon's frighteningly gentle with how he twists Laios' very thoughts in a way that frames him as some sort of misanthropist, and the Winged Lion's words seemingly foil whatever plan Laios may have had. It made me think that Laios had failed, and Izutsumi's orders to lob his head off may have been a fail safe because he didn't know if he could successfully thwart the Demon's plans.

However, after finishing the story, extras, etc; I started thinking that perhaps failing was all part of Laios' plan, too. At least partially. Perhaps he realised that the only way to outsmart and ultimately best the Demon, was to let the Demon win. Perhaps he concluded that the only way for him to stand a chance against the Demon was to lose, to be at the Demon's mercy, to have his words utterly twisted; because he couldn't just make the demon "think" he had won. The only way for the Demon, the embodiment of hunger, to think he had won, was for him to actually win.

Maybe he ordered Izutsumi to… how do you put it… "artificially shorten his lifespan" because he knew the Demon would use his love for monsters against him, and would manipulate him into wishing to become the Ultimate Strongest Monster. His recent addendum (that the Ultimate Strongest Monster can eat desires) seems to support this theory, if I remember correctly. However, I can't remember for certain. Maybe his plan was to trap the Demon in his body and kill it that way? I genuinely can't remember.

So, I was wondering if you'd be interested in answering this oddly specific and mildly stupid question: How much of Laios' interaction with the Demon was planned, and how much was him fucking around and finding out? I'd love to know your thoughts on this!

PS: Laios rocks the swag he dons as king. Would happily serve under him. PPS: I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week, Mr. Morbius! Thank you for this awesome blog. You're cool.

Hello!!!!! Yeah!!!!!! The question Kabru himself would rather not know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Same as Kabru I decided not to think too hard about but Kui definitely gave us hints that this could be the case, I don't think Laios "planned" to fail from the start, he strikes me as a very optimistic guy (as you can see with how he first thought the confrontation with Thistle could go and how he STILL tried to talk to him instead of fighting) but I think he did "prepare" somewhat for the worst case scenario, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst?

Like I don't think this part of his plan was a misdirection I think he really hoped it could be this simple? So this was plan A (although he realizes this is too optimistic I think he hopes it will work)

This part tho I'm pretty sure was partly a misdirection for his teammates, since he asks them to help him get his mind back only to tell Izutsumi to kill him at the smallest hint he lost his mind, so I think this was plan B as in "If I become the lord of the dungeon kill me so there's no more dungeon lord" which was the original canary plan

Which again is kinda confirmed by this thought bubble

I think this was plan C

He knew he no longer wished for a country where humans and monsters could coexist (because of what he saw) so I guess he had *some* idea that becoming a monster was his other wish and added that as a fail safe if plan A and B failed? I don't think he could have guessed the Demon would use his body but maybe he thought he could use the nature of the demon against him (granting his desire to become a monster even tho the monster can eat him)

As Marcille and Kabru realize tho, that might all be a coincidence and he really thought plan A or B would work lmao. WHO KNOWS Laios' mind is a mystery

I'd recommend rereading chapter 88 if you want to go thru Laios' whole plan and how the demon manipulated him, it's a great chapter (87 too with the demon origin story)

[reidmania]

soon, you'll get better | s. reid

summary; when spencer decides to get help for his addiction, you are right by his side the entire time, even when you are both more scared than you’ll admit.

warnings; fem!reader, early seasons spencer (s2) mentions of addiction, withdrawals, getting help, hurt x comfort, its kinda really fluffy though, mentions of tobias hankel, references possible overdosing, (nobody overdoses, reader is just afraid of it happening) this is comfort, pure spencer comfort tbh.

an; heart BROKEN guys. this one hurt. remember you are not alone.

'I'll paint the kitchen neon, I'll brighten up the sky, I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try. And I'll say to you, soon you'll get better, soon you'll get better, you'll get better soon, 'cause you have to. And I hate to make this all about me but who am i supposed to talk to? What am i supposed to do, if theres no you?'

You sit beside him, your hand resting gently on his, feeling the tension pulsing through his skin. Spencer's fingers twitch, as though his body is having a silent argument with itself—one part of him wants to hold on to you, to feel your comfort, and the other part is restless, needing something more than your touch can provide. You know what that something is. It’s been between the two of you for weeks now, an unspoken weight that has grown heavier with each passing day.

The hospital waiting room is quiet, but inside your head, it feels deafening. Your eyes flicker to the clock on the wall. The seconds drag on, and you know he feels every single one of them. You squeeze his hand lightly, drawing his attention back to you. His eyes meet yours, wide and anxious, a storm of emotions swirling in their depths. You see it all—the fear, the shame, the self-loathing. But beyond that, buried underneath, you still see the man you love.

"You're doing the right thing," you whisper, your voice soft, barely louder than the ticking clock.

He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. His lips part, but no words come out. You don’t push him. You’ve learned that sometimes, silence is safer for him. His mind is always moving, always analyzing, always thinking ten steps ahead, but right now, he’s fragile. His brilliance can’t help him here. And that’s what scares him the most.

You lean in, pressing your forehead against his, grounding him in the moment. “I’m so proud of you,” you say, and you feel him exhale, just slightly. The warmth of his breath touches your lips, and for a brief second, you feel that connection again—the one that always makes you believe everything will be okay, as long as you're together.

It was difficult, sitting here and pretending like you weren’t scared. You were, you wondered if you had a right to be scared. Spencer was the love of your life, you had never once questioned that — and seeing him like this, well it wasn’t easy. Being here, wasn’t easy.

Spencer closes his eyes, a shudder running through his body. He grips your hand tighter, the pressure almost painful, but you don’t pull away. You want him to know you’re here, that you’re not going anywhere. Not now. Not ever.

A nurse walks by, and Spencer's eyes snap open, his body stiffening. You can feel his heart rate spike, the anxiety flaring up again.

“I can’t,” he mutters, shaking his head. His voice is tight, strangled, like he’s holding back something that threatens to choke him.

“Yes, you can,” you reply gently, running your thumb over his knuckles in slow, soothing circles. “Please.”

It was a plea, a genuine plea. You tried to be strong for his sake, he needed someone. You were his person, you would always be. But he was also your person — and the idea that if he didn’t get help you could lose him one way or another terrified you. It caused a genuine ache in your chest at just the thought of him not being him, or not being around at all. You couldn’t lose him, not at the hands of tobias hankel.

He stares at you, searching your face for something—maybe reassurance, maybe strength. You aren’t sure if he finds it, but he nods, his breath coming out in shaky bursts.

The doctor calls his name. The sound makes him flinch, and for a moment, you think he might bolt. You can see it in his posture, the way his muscles tense, his body preparing to flee. But then your hand tightens around his, and he looks at you again. And you know he’s staying because of you.

Together, you stand, and you walk beside him as he follows the doctor into the office. His steps are slow, reluctant, but each one is a small victory. When you sit down in the small room, the doctor’s eyes flicker between the two of you—taking in Spencer’s pale, trembling form and the way you hold onto him as if he might disappear.

The doctor speaks softly, his voice calm and measured. You hear him explain the treatment plan, the options for managing withdrawal, the therapy that Spencer will need. It all sounds clinical, distant, like the words are coming from a place Spencer can’t quite reach.

You glance at him, watching the way his jaw clenches and unclenches, the way his eyes dart around the room, not settling on anything for too long. His mind is miles away, you can tell. But you’re here, anchored in this moment for both of you.

“Spence,” you say softly, turning to face him. He doesn’t respond at first, lost in the cacophony of his own thoughts. So, you reach out, brushing your fingers against his cheek. His eyes snap back to you, and you see the vulnerability in them, the sheer weight of everything he’s been carrying.

“We’ll take it one step at a time,” you remind him. “We’ll get through this. Together.”

His lower lip trembles, and for a second, you think he might cry. But he doesn’t. Spencer’s never been one to break easily, even when he should. You wish he would sometimes, just so he wouldn’t have to hold it all inside.

The doctor gives you both a moment, stepping out of the room to let the words sink in. Spencer drops his head into his hands, his shoulders slumping as though the world is pressing down on him with all its weight.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispers, his voice barely audible.

You scoot closer, pulling him into your arms, cradling his head against your chest. His body relaxes, just a little, as if the touch of your skin can quiet the chaos in his mind.

“You deserve everything good in this world,” you tell him, stroking his hair gently. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m broken,” he breathes, the words thick with self-reproach.

You shake your head, holding him tighter. “You’re not broken, Spence. You’re just…hurting. And that’s okay. You’ll get better. You have to.”

Maybe it was a plea, maybe reassurance, you weren’t even sure. Spencer was single handedly the strongest person you knew, he didn’t deserve what had happened to him — nobody did. The signs had been there for a while, you noticed the change instantly and you tried to brush it off as him coping, but when it got to the point where you knew there was more, without a doubt — you had the conversation.

It took some convincing, and a few weeks before he even approached the idea — he denied for a while. You let him. You could only help him as much as he allowed you to, but then when he nudged you gently in bed one night and broke down — he wanted help, and you were happy to provide him with as much as you could, which also meant getting more help.

His arms wrap around your waist, clinging to you as though you’re his lifeline. And in a way, you are. But you know he’s yours too. You’ve never loved anyone the way you love Spencer—so deeply, so completely. He’s flawed, yes. But so are you.

When the doctor returns, you help Spencer sit up, though he keeps one hand resting on your knee, as if needing to stay tethered to you. You listen carefully as the doctor outlines the next steps, and this time, Spencer listens too. He’s scared, you can tell, but he’s fighting. For himself. For you. For what you both have.

And when you leave the office, walking back through the waiting room, you feel a shift. It’s subtle, almost imperceptible, but it’s there. Spencer’s steps are still hesitant, still burdened, but there’s a determination now. He’s facing it. He’s facing himself. And you’re right there beside him, as you always will be.

As you step out into the crisp evening air, Spencer pauses. He turns to you, his eyes soft, vulnerable, but this time, there’s a flicker of hope.

“I love you,” he says quietly, the words shaky but sincere.

You smile, your heart swelling. “I love you too.”

And in that moment, with the world quiet around you, “You will get better Spence.”

[alicewritez]

Heart to Heart - Aaron Hotchner

word count: 1202

summary: you disobey a direct order from hotch and now you’re injured

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

authors note: implied age gap but nothing too descriptive or explicit. again, i’m only just getting back into writing so bare with me while i get into the swing of things again. hope you enjoy regardless 💕

You disrespected a direct order and got hurt on a case. After he found out you were going to be fine, he went straight to the silent treatment. No words, no glances exchanged on the ride to the hospital, nor on the jet, nor even on the ride back home.

Now, he's sat busy rewrapping your bandages, still maintaining the silence. You watch his hands carefully tend to your wounds before you decide to finally speak up and break the silence which, right now, felt even worse than him shouting.

"Say something at least," she pauses. "Shout at me.. storm out, I don't care just.. anything other than silence."

He finished rewrapping your bandages and looked up at you. "Don't be an idiot again."

"Is that it? Is that all you have to say?" You respond, expecting him to say more, but nothing came.

He sighs. "It's a miracle that you're sitting here talking to me after all, you know that?"

"A miracle?" You scoff. "Hotch, I had it under control, besides it's just a few scratches." You argue your point.

He raises a brow and looks at you incredulously. "A few scratches? Remind me again how many stitches you got?"

"It's not even that bad!" You argue again. "It's a few stitches, so what?"

"So what?! A few stitches? Have you lost your damn mind?! Is that all that’s left up there? You could have been killed, can’t you see that?”

“I was doing my job!” You raise your voice to match his own.

He raised his further, trying to prove his own point. “Your job is to obey when I say ‘pull back’!”

“If I had listened to you, those poor young women would have been murdered.” You state coldly to him, trying to get him to understand where you were coming from. “I was doing my job and yes I got injured but I’m fine.. and they’re safe.”

He sighs. “And you nearly joined them at the morgue.”

“What is it with you? What’s this all really about?!” You emphasise the second part of the sentence. You had never seen him get so wound up over something like this before. Usually it was a stern telling off and he’d let you go, but not today.

“It’s about you! Don’t you get it? I can’t afford to lose you.” And there it was. The whole reason he’d got so upset in the first place, it wasn’t just because you were one of his best profilers; there was something much deeper.

“Hotch..” you spoke gently, features softening. He sat back down and looked over at you. He was quiet for a minute before speaking up again.

“Do you think it’s easy for me to see you all beaten up?”

“I-I didn’t know you felt like that.” You stuttered out, choking back a sob. Your gaze was locked onto your hands in your lap, fiddling with a ring on your finger.

He stared at you for a moment before sighing softly. “I do. And I’m terrified. I don’t know what I’d do without you..” He held his arms out for a hug and waited for you to scoot closer to him, which didn’t take much prompting because no sooner had he opened his arms, you’d lunged right into them, burying your face into his chest.

He pulled you close and held you tight, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “Thank goodness you’re alright, sweetheart. You have no idea how scared I was.”

You sigh, pulling away a little to look up at him but not wanting to let go completely. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.. I just wanted to save them.”

“I know, I know. I just don’t want to see you in any danger, that’s all.” He pulled you back to him, this time placing a soft kiss to your lips. When you pull away, you look up at him.

“I guess we’re not just ‘boss’ and ‘employee’ anymore..” This makes him chuckle, a smile forming on his lips, the first genuine smile you’d seen all night.

“Nope, we sure aren’t. I guess you’re not just ‘renegade agent who doesn’t listen and likes to make Hotch worry’ anymore either..” he smirks.

You give him a bemused look. “I’ve liked you for a long time, and the for the last time.. I was doing my job. You know you would have done the same thing if the roles had been reversed.”

He raises a brow at your statement but he couldn’t argue, knowing what you said had truth behind it. “I can’t say that you’re wrong. But I still don’t want you taking risks like that.”

“You nod your head slowly, knowing he was right. “It won’t happen again.”

“I know. Just think about my heart next time.” He sighed and brushed some hair out of your face. “That poor thing can only take so much.”

“I forgot you were old.” You pout playfully. “Well, not old but.. well- you’re older than me.” You start to ramble then stop. “I’ll just shut up.”

He smiled and chuckles softly. “Don’t you dare shut up.” He looks down at you, bringing a hand to brush stray strands of hair out of your eyes and tucking them behind your ear. “I love it when you ramble on and on about random stuff. That’s one of the things I love about you.. that and your beautiful smile. And your pretty eyes. And your amazing personality.. and your..”

“Yeah okay, okay, I get it.” You bury your face into his side, feeling your face heat up from embarrassment. He chuckles again and gently runs his fingers through your hair. “You have no idea how gorgeous you are.” He pauses for a few seconds, looking you in the eyes. “Even with a few bruises and some stitches.”

You wince as he traces his fingers over some of the cuts and bruises that littered your face; he realises the mistake he’s made when he sees you wince. “Oh.. I’m sorry.” He moves his hand away quickly and looks away, hating to see you in pain.

“It’s okay.” You smile softly, taking his hand into yours and leaning further into his side. “I love you.”

His face softens at the confession. “I love you too.” He kisses you on the forehead and lets go of your hand, much to your dismay, but quickly wraps his arms around your waist instead. Pulling you back into his chest for another hug.

“I could stay like this forever.” You sigh in content, making him chuckle. “I could too.”

He kisses you on the forehead once more before pulling you even closer to him and whispering in your ear. “You know I can’t stand it when you’re all hurt, right?”

“I know.. but at least I have you.” You smile at the thought. He kisses you softly on the temple. “You always will. I’ll always be right here you know that, right?”

“I know.” You smiled as your head rested against him, eyes closed in content at the feeling of being near him.

It was in this moment you knew, Aaron’s words had never been more true.

[lexirosewrites]

I had a horrifying omegaverse idea. Dont mind if you wait for Sunday. I know you normally have Steve as an omega, but just this once:

Omegas in heat are in genuine danger around alphas. A few, mostly ignored, people claim that alphas can control themselves if they really want to, but there are many cases of Alphas injuring themselves, to the tune of breaking their own bones, to get to an omega in heat. There are suppressants that can help, but they’re not a sure thing and alpha centric society means that it’s seen as demeaning for alphas to have to limit themselves.

What society has managed is really really good suppressants for omegas. Every society has had some kind of suppressant all the way back to prehistory, but modern medicine is a wonder. It almost completely wipes out the pheromones that make alphas lose it. And sure, omegas have to pay for the suppressants, and take them for the entire month leading up to their heat, and the list of side effects is hella long, but no omega risks doing otherwise. An omega in heat who gets caught can comply, and hope they don’t get forcibly mated, or they can resist, and hope the alpha doesn’t go into a frenzy and kill them.

During puberty, when kids are heading into presentations, there are weekly blood prick tests, and any indication of a spike in hormones sees the kid off to a special secure medical units, staffed by betas, to keep them safe. Alphas get mild sedatives and a space without anything to hurt themselves or others with. Omegas get personal guards, similar rooms, and pain meds. After, alphas go about their lives, a little smug. Omegas go on suppressants, but, they just need to stay home for the three or so days of their heat.

By seventeen, anyone that hasn’t presented is determined to be a beta. 99.9% of presentations happen by age sixteen. The next year is for security. By seventeen, that last .1% has gone down by another 90%.

But late presentations still happen. It’s alphas presenting late usually. 4 out of 5 times. The other is an omega. Those are the stuff of nightmares.

Eddie is a beta. He’s not shocked, almost his entire family is. There’s a cousin or two on one of the branches that were recessive omegas. There’s a guess that a great great great grandpa was an alpha. But Eddie? Definitely a beta.

There’s not a magic formula that causes late presentations, and it happens too rarely and too suddenly for studies to be anything but anecdotal. Almost every late presentation goes… badly… for the omega.

Eddie drops into a presentation heat in the summer of 86, in the middle of the soup aisle. There’s half a dozen alphas in the building, including Steve, who was trying to get the rest of the cream of mushroom from the back of the shelf. Steve, who takes the alpha suppressants daily because he never wants to be like his dad. Steve, who lost some of his secondary sense of smell thanks to the last few years. Steve, who has a hell of a crush, but was never going to say anything about it. Steve, who never wins a fight.

So you have Eddie, terrified, in pain, vicious in his vulnerability, convinced this is how he’s gonna die, because no way in hell is he going to submit to whoever gets to him first. And you have Steve, clinging to control so he can hold off the other alphas long enough for emergency personnel to get there.

ohhh🥺🥺 poor eddie not expecting that and poor steve who just wants to help and is literally the worst fighter known to man!

(side note: i read omega eddie/alpha steve with no issue, even if it’s not what i tend to write. i love seeing different combinations of designations so please throw them all my way!)

[traintrainingmontage]

Edward Appreciation Essay: The Choice to Be Kind

I was hoping to have this done as a 50-follower (and birthday!) milestone, but as always, life's chaos has gotten in the way. However, it IS here just in time for the Thomas TV series' 40th anniversary!! Happy Birthday, Thomas!! With that milestone in mind, let's get to it.

In much the same vein as my Skarloey Appreciation Essay, I'd like to point out something that I genuinely love about Edward, and that is his conscious choice to be kind, even when he's been mistreated by others. There's plenty of kind characters--Percy immediately comes to mind, as well as Henry (although his kindness varies depending on the depiction), Toby (to an extent), Duck, the Scottish Twins, and others. However, for Edward, kindness is one of his defining traits, especially a kindness that not only bolsters him in the face of adversity from outsiders and "friends" alike, but is a quality that he chooses to feed and fall back on, even when so many others would give in to their less generous inclinations. Please note that although I'm celebrating the anniversary of the TV series, this analysis is primarily based off of the Railway Series, since it's what I'm most familiar with. I'm also not going to focus on famous stories, such as Old Iron and Edward's Exploit, for this particular analysis.

I think there's a lot to be said for Edward's forbearance in terms of dealing with people being rude to him. He's not interested in getting even with other engines or rubbing their misfortune in their faces. He doesn't even ignore them! Instead, he continues to be kind and to be friendly, greeting everyone he sees and helping out those who need help, and in the end, continues to come out on top by choosing to not hold a grudge the way so many others on the railway do.

What motivates this particular choice, though? I'm hardly the first to speculate on why Edward is the way he is, and others have done and will do far deeper analyses on this point than me, but nonetheless, I'll offer a few ideas. In the context of the TTTE universe, I think that part of Edward's kindness simply stems from being old, wise, and experienced. He's seen engines come and go, and his class replaced and was replaced by another. The engines that are so proud of themselves now will find themselves in his wheels eventually. Plus, it's quite likely that Edward knew of engines who were replaced and eventually scrapped; back then, it wasn't the terrifying thing that it became later in the series because it followed the idea of engines simply living out their full and natural lives. Scrapping and modernization became such threats because even engines who hadn't lived out their service lives were being withdrawn and scrapped, and an early death is much more terrifying to engines than death itself.

But Edward's experience aside, he's well-versed in yard politics. If he causes trouble, then that won't make him friends with either other engines or the management. Edward has, in a sense, been abandoned for being a shy steamer, and unlike the others who are here on trial, this is his home now. They may be being rude to him in his own home, but whining and whinging will get him nowhere, and he's learned that lesson well from watching countless upstart engines be put in their place or live long enough as kings to eventually lose their crowns. He knows he's older, that he's almost lived up to the end of his expected service life, so all he can do is put on a brave face and do his best to prove that he's Useful still.

Outside of the book's context, Edward's character feels very much like an ideal of the upstanding Christian, which makes sense given Awdry's profession. Edward consistently turns the other cheek when people are cruel or rude to him. He stands up for himself through his deeds rather than giving in to anger. And that's a very important lesson to teach young children; being good and kind individuals leads to much better outcomes down the line. Edward feels like an intentional role model by which Awdry could deliver these stories to his son, and keep him as an interesting protagonist who taught important lessons about the importance of being kind and persevering through and despite adversity from both one's friends and family and outsiders. Many of us see Edward as a role model, as someone to aspire to, for this very reason.

The first example of Edward's kindness comes up in the very first story of the Railway Series. The coaches ask Edward to "not bump and bang [them] like the other engines do" (Edward's Day Out). And Edward obliges! He comes up to them "very, very gently" and takes them along. They're so grateful that they say they're glad he's the one who took them out. At the end of the story, he does have a moment where he tells the other engines: "I'm going out again tomorrow[;] what do you think of that?" (Edward's Day Out). Admittedly, this could be seen as slightly snarky, but I think it's moreso coming from a place of genuine excitement and wonder, like "Wow! Finally! Finally, I got to go out, and tomorrow, I get to do it again!" It doesn't feel malicious so much as wanting to share his joy with the others, mostly because he falls asleep right after. If he actually cared about their opinions or being right, he likely would have stayed up to hear them.

In the next story, Edward helps Gordon up the hill, and naturally, is not thanked by Gordon himself, but rather, his driver decides he'll ensure that Edward gets a nice new coat of paint in thanks for his hard work. It's quite clear though that Edward didn't help Gordon out of any expectation of a reward, or even a thank you. He did it because it was the right thing to do, and the driver noticed that. But an even better example of Edward's kindness being notable is in the next book.

After Henry is shut up in the tunnel for being vain, Gordon teases Henry about it, and Edward does not. This is pretty significant because it's rather likely that Henry was one of the engines teasing Edward in the first story:

It's quite likely that that's Henry on the left, there, with Gordon being on the second to right, next to Edward. Plus, looking at all of their smiles compared to Edward's distress, it's clear that Edward is the butt of the joke and everybody's laughing. Thus, it makes it all the more satisfying when Henry and Edward work together to pull the express, and Henry is rewarded with a new coat of paint. He wants a blue and red one, as then, he says, "I'll be like Edward" (Edward, Gordon and Henry). It's just delightful to see how Henry, who had also been unkind to Edward, now strives to be more like him due to acknowledging and seeing the kindness and grace that Edward has shown him even when Edward truly didn't have to. Edward, I think, is much more interested in making friends than remembering faults, and seeing this happen is just proof that his efforts are starting to bear fruit. What he's been doing matters. His kindness has begun paying off. And I think that this is more than enough to prove to him that his efforts AREN'T in vain. That choosing kindness will work. Edward has never been one to shy away from hard work, and this proves that it's both working and worth it.

Now, there's also times when Edward's kindness doesn't particularly help the recipient, and such an example comes in the form of the tale Thomas and the Trucks. Thomas wants to do something other than shunt, so Edward offers to let him take some trucks. However, Thomas doesn't know anything about trucks, and disregards Edward's advice about managing them. Perhaps it was irresponsible of Edward to allow Thomas to take the trucks--it could very well be a lapse in judgement that came about from wanting to do a favor for a younger colleague. However, I would also argue that Edward may not have known that Thomas had never dealt with trucks. When Edward offers, Thomas gives an enthusiastic yes. Plus, Edward clearly takes trucks to and from Barrow (he mentions that he's "got some trucks to take home tomorrow" in Thomas and the Trucks) and in the context of the story, it sounds like Edward isn't always at the same sheds that Thomas is at. Thus, he likely just didn't know that Thomas had no experience with trucks, and did indeed think that he was doing Thomas a solid. The Fat Director not being mad at Edward for his role in the mess also supports this; if he really felt Edward was at fault in any way, he wouldn't have given him compliments.

I think that a lot of the fandom also sleeps on James and the Top-Hat and Troublesome Trucks as great James and Edward stories. While it's true that James the Red Engine is often considered one of W. Awdry's worst, there's still some good moments to be gleaned from it. In the first story, James and Edward double-head a train as James has to get used to working on the railway. He gets steam all over the Fat Director's new hat and immediately wants to run away from his problems, urging Edward and his coaches on so that he can outrace consequences. He gets so overzealous that he accidentally overshoots the station, and he and Edward have to back up. Despite this, and his worsening mood, Edward is encouraging, getting them both up Gordon's Hill, and even tells him a story that causes him to laugh so hard he gets hiccups. Of course, James has to deal with the Fat Director's anger in the end, but it's clear that working with Edward, at least for a little while, brought him some comfort and relief. In Troublesome Trucks, when the coupling snaps on some of James's trucks and he has to figure out how to proceed, Edward offers help, but James refuses, wanting to do it himself. Edward then offers him encouragement throughout it all, and when James finally succeeds, is rewarded for his efforts by the Fat Director. This is an excellent start to James and Edward's friendship, which continues to deepen with time and makes their relationship in future stories such as Old Iron feel that much more organic. James comes onto the NWR as having messed up, by having a fiery debut that lands him in a field, and as seen in other stories, suffers from Gordon and Henry's derision as a result. It's my opinion that with this foundation, Edward's kindness is keenly felt and appreciated, even subconsciously, and pays off in dividends as the series progresses.

From the earliest point in their relationship, Edward is encouraging and kind, seeing James's attitude as a deep, genuine desire to do well and fear of being unable to live up to expectations. Edward knows those feelings! He's felt them keenly himself! And this is another reason why he chooses kindness: Edward has developed a keen eye for people (and engines). He has a good sense of how they're feeling, and why they may be acting the way they do. He can empathize with a lot of what everyone's going through, and that also makes it easier to choose kindness. After all, none of these engines are truly bad people. They can be arrogant and stubborn, but that comes with youth and prestige more than anything, and Edward has seen plenty of that smoothed away with time.

The last example I'll give is that of Edward and Skarloey in Skarloey Remembers. Edward knows Skarloey well, from bringing him passengers way back when, and seeing him looking worse for wear in an open-sided shed, stops to talk to him. He invites Skarloey to talk about his line and just reminisce for a while, because he knows that's what the other needs. Not to mention that he and Skarloey are on the same page about a lot of things; it's nice talking to a fellow older engine who just gets it. It's also very telling that Edward was chosen to introduce Skarloey and the Skarloey Railway; he's the best listener and it makes sense that he would have history with Skarloey. Just by listening and being invested in other engines' lives and things that they care about is he able to make genuine and meaningful connections with other engines, because Edward has learned that by listening to people, people will generally start also listening to you. It's another subtle expression of kindness that helps him connect with others and be part of their lives, and I get the sense that's really what Edward wants.

Part of Edward's idea of feeling Useful is not being lonely. He knows what loneliness is. He felt it when the Furness abandoned him on Sodor by selling him for cheap and essentially telling him to not bother coming home. He knows the shape of loneliness from staring at the other engines coming and going, never being chosen, his boiler cold. And so, when he sees other engines at their lowest, at their loneliest, when they feel foolish and without any support, he extends his kindness. He extends his empathy and support. He has been there, and wouldn't wish the same on any other engine. And he has seen how kindness pays off--perhaps not in the short term, but always in the long run. Edward's wisdom comes from one who has seen and experienced too much, and has worked hard to receive the love that he has. The world may be cruel to humans and engines alike, but that's what makes Edward's choice to be kind all the more meaningful--his kindness is given freely and rewarded handsomely, in ways both big and small.

Edward reminds us of what it means to be at our best. And it is that which makes Edward stand out for so many of us, 40 years on, as the kind of person we want to be some day.

Happy birthday, Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends, and a very, very happy birthday to you, Edward <3 Dry rails, and good running!!

[sass-ruby]

Okay so um, I'm gonna be talking about these two episodes today! (Prepare BECAUSE OH MY GOSH.)

Alright, we'll start with the first one. Can I just say that, moon absolutely angered me so much. Moon, NO ONE IS ASKING YOU FOR AN EMOTIONAL SPEECH NOR ANYTHING. It's the fact that you COMPLETELY ignored sun, didn't even bother to check up on him, and then went to work in your lab to find a solution?? Looks like history is repeating itself. But.. why? Why is the same thing repeating again? WELL I HAVE A THEORY! Sun's gonna die, someway, somehow and that's gonna be the only way moon realizes. I think this because of solar specifically. When solar heard that moon won't check up on sun, he sounded absolutely disgusted. Keep in mind, solar lived in HIS SUN'S head. That sun ALSO had a moon, and I bet solar has watched the same exact thing happen. And what happened when solar's sun died? Solar's moon went insane! Imagine the guilt moon would feel, gut wrenching. He probably ALREADY feels guilty, but would rather let it consume him whole than to comfort sun or AT THE VERY LEAST HUG HIM

Sun was there with moon during moon's (valid) breakdown, but moon being there for sun? NOOO, OF COURSE NOT!

Also if moon's gonna start with the "I'm not good with emotions" stuff, I'll lose it. YOU HAVE PROVEN IN OTHER VIDEOS THAT YOU CAN, MOON. Neptor's funeral, OR HELL WHEN THE WHOLE FINDING OUT DAZZLE'S SECRET THING HAPPENED. He listened about every kid, comforted, reassured, he was there. Although, now he's just ignoring sun. I think it's because he's a coward. And by a coward, I mean that he's too scared he'll say something wrong or make it worse, because the word is about NEXUS, someone who moon HATES, though sun loves nexus, evil or not, he was still his brother.

Moon doesn't understand that, he's jealous most likely. It reminds me so much of when nexus wasn't insane.. he was bad talking moon, and when moon returned? Moon was bad talking nexus. Both didn't want to be like each other, they DESPISE each other, calling each other knock off's (okay, THAT PART WAS KINDA FUNNY I'M SORRY.)

But.. where is sun in all of this? He missed each one. He loved each one. He loved them. He still loves them.

But they BOTH didn't understand how their words hurt sun. They're so similar in some ways, it's absurd. AND THEY DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT. Reminds me of the song "over and over" by Rio Romeo.

If sun dying is the only way for moon to realize, I'll be willing to accept it even if it is quite sad. It's disappointing, truly.

Monty's and lunar's reaction, I expected honestly. By the way, lunar-, "he's doing worse than I thought he would be.." ARE YOU STUPID, HE JUST KILLED HIS EX BROTHER?? Didn't you go through the same damn thing too? As for monty, not even surprised one bit. He's always been like that, I never really liked him, but oh well.

And THANK YOU SOLAR FOR BEING THE ONLY SANE PERSON EXCEPT MAYBE EARTH BECAUSE GOSH THIS SHOW AIN'T FOCUSING ON SUN'S HEALTH MUCH.

The urge to b*tch slap almost everyone.

I genuinely want sun to have a breakdown, he chose moon, but moon didn't bother to even check up on him.

Gosh.

------------------------------

ANYWAYS, TODAY'S EPISODE!

Just gonna add this picture again, because why not

Wow- genuinely just wow- that was-.. wow

So dark sun DID end up doing something. I must've missed something in the past video, but interesting..

I heard a person say, I forgot who it was but that SUN was the key of this whole plan

He killed nexus, he pulled the trigger and made a choice which means.. that way other suns also made choices instead of not acting

I have NO idea how sun managed to make that happen, BUT THE THEORY MAKES SENSE

In a way, I was right- he IS trying to stop the dimensional abuse of suns by them killing their own moon, I SUCK AT EXPLAINING

if anyone can explain this theory better than me, PLEASE DO.

I felt so bad for the sun in this dimension. Poor thing. Sounded scared and terrified, while repeating "I hate you", while crying and also while bashing HIS moon's head with a barrel

I wanted to hug him QwQ poor baby.. we need a name for him

ALSO HE'S MY CHILD NOW. I'M ADOPTING HIM.

Moon tried his best to keep that sun at peace, WHICH BRINGS ME BACK TO THE SAME TOPIC, WHY DOES HE HELP EVERYONE EXCEPT HIS SUN

I get it was a different situation BUT CMON.

I suppose I already ranted enough about that part, though

I would add more but I'm INCREDIBLY tired and all.. so um yeah-

[rmadridcore]

Between Us - Part 3 (Last Part)

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Reader

Summary: You and Kylian have been inseparable friends for years, but when unspoken feelings bubble to the surface, everything changes.

Word Count: 7.2K

Part 1 Part 2 Epilogue

Masterlist

Author’s note: I’m so happy to see all your positive feedback, you have no idea 🥹🫂 Thank you for reading it. It motivates me so much! Here’s the grand finale. It’s a lengthy one hehe. I was originally planning to release two parts but it felt wrong to divide this chapter so I wrote it as one. I loved writing this short series so much, I’m not ready to say goodbye so I will shortly begin working on an epilogue. I hope you all enjoy it & don’t forget to tell me all of your thoughts! 💌

——————————————————————————

Kylian Mbappé was fuming. This was the kind of situation he hated with a passion, one where things were completely out of his control.

Ever since he was a child, Kylian had a need to control everything. Whether he realized it or not, being out of control terrified him. He wanted to always have the power to change the course of events, hating the chaos of life that threatened his inner control freak. Especially when it came to the people and things he cherished most.

It had been a little over three weeks since he last saw you. At first, he’d been keeping track of the days, but eventually, he stopped. Counting the days only amplified his worry. You had stormed out of his house with tear-filled eyes and no explanation, leaving him completely clueless.

He’d tried to reach out afterward — calling, texting, anything to get a response. But you either told him you were too busy to see him, or worse, you didn’t respond at all. At first, he convinced himself that maybe you were genuinely busy. But Kylian knew you too well. This wasn’t busyness; this was avoidance.

You were intentionally keeping your distance, and that realization crushed him. Kylian couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. He had always made it a priority to keep you in his life, no matter how hectic his career got. He couldn’t imagine a world without you. You were his constant, his anchor. Now, for the first time, it felt like you were pulling away. And he didn’t even know why.

It hurt him so much. Since his younger days, all Kylian ever wanted was to have you with him, to have you by his side. It wasn’t just a matter of friendship or loyalty, it was essential to his emotional and mental well-being. The need to feel your presence, to know that you were there, had always been a grounding force in his life.

From the moment you met, it was as if the universe had given him the one person he couldn’t live without. He had tried his hardest over the years to maintain your friendship. Despite the distance, his massive career, the relentless schedule of being a world class footballer — none of it mattered as much as you did. Nothing could ever be more important than making sure you two remained close. It didn’t matter how frenetic his life became; keeping you by his side was his highest priority. He made sure of that.

In his mind, you were destined to be in each other’s lives. He was one hundred percent sure that, no matter the circumstances, no matter the paths you both could have taken, you two were meant to find each other. Even if you had never met at his birthday party when you were six, even if you hadn’t grown up together, Kylian was convinced he would have found you. Somehow, somewhere, in this world, or any other, he would have searched for you. It was as if his soul had been programmed to look for yours. And he was so grateful that life hadn’t forced him to waste time searching for you.

He was thankful that he had found you early on, that you had always been there, a constant light in his life. But now, for the first time, that light felt like it was fading.

For the first time, it felt like you were slipping away from him, and it terrified him. He hated that feeling. The uncertainty gnawed at him, the not knowing why you suddenly didn’t want to be around him. The thought that he had done something, something unforgivable, that had caused you to pull away made him feel sick to his stomach. Kylian couldn’t stand the idea that he might have hurt you.

Your happiness was everything to him. It always had been. If you weren’t happy, he wasn’t happy. It was as simple as that. He needed you to be joyful in order for him to feel any joy at all. Your well-being was intricately tied to his own, and the idea of jeopardizing that? It was unthinkable. He would never, could never, do anything to risk your happiness. He’d rather walk away from everything than lose you.

And now, for the first time, he was afraid he might actually be losing you, and it was tearing him apart.

After torturing himself with countless reasons for your sudden absence, one thought rose to the surface, a thought he hated.

Was it because of Louis? Had you started dating him, and now you realized you were better off without Kylian in your life? The idea made him furious. He couldn’t stand the thought of anyone coming between the two of you.

Kylian had dated many girls over the years, but not once had he allowed any of them to affect his friendship with you. You were always the one constant, the one person he made sure everyone in his life knew was irreplaceable. If anyone had an issue with that, they knew exactly where the door was.

He had questioned his feelings for you so many times over the years. There were moments when he’d wondered if what he felt for you was something deeper than friendship, something real and terrifyingly intense.

But each time, he’d shaken the thought away, convinced himself it was just his mind playing tricks. He couldn’t be in love with his best friend. That wasn’t how things were supposed to go.

You were just friends. Friends who stole glances across the room, silently daring the other to look away first. Friends who brought each other as dates to events, even though they could have chosen anyone else. Friends who would sacrifice their own comfort without hesitation, just to make sure the other was at ease. Friends whose legs "accidentally" touched in the backseat of a car, the brief contact sending sparks up your spine. Friends who got butterflies every time they saw each other, even though you spent almost every day together. Friends who held onto each other in the quiet darkness, arms wrapped tight until sleep finally took over.

Friends, huh?

It was the kind of friendship that blurred the lines, that felt like something more with every touch, every lingering gaze, and every unsaid word hanging in the air. It was the kind of friendship that made you question if you were still just friends at all.

But deep down, he knew. He was lying to himself, over and over again. And the lie had become exhausting.

You weren’t just his best friend. You were his favorite person. He thought about you constantly. He could listen to you talk forever, your voice the sweetest sound in his world. Well, maybe second only to your laugh. When you were with him, everything felt brighter. His heart was so full of you that it hardly felt like it belonged to him anymore. You were his. The only problem? He didn’t have the courage to admit it.

He didn’t even know when it had all happened. The shift was so subtle, so gradual, that it crept up on him before he could realize it.

All he knew was that he had been burying these feelings deep down his entire life. It was a constant battle — one he was losing, no matter how hard he tried.

He hated himself for it, for being such a coward. For never embracing his feelings, for not taking that leap of faith when it mattered most.

But the truth was, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The fear of losing you was his deepest, darkest fear. It terrified him in a way nothing else could.

What if he told you he loved you, and you made his worst nightmare come true? What if you didn’t love him back? Worse, what if you walked away forever? How was he supposed to live without you? He couldn’t even imagine it. His entire life had been intertwined with yours for as long as he could remember. You were always there, the constant in his chaotic world, the person who made everything feel right. He didn’t know how to do life if you weren’t by his side.

You were his first. Not his first kiss or his first relationship, no, you were something far more important. You were the first person who made him feel like he was enough. The first person to show him what true, unconditional love felt like, even if neither of you had ever said the words out loud. You were the one who revealed to him the beauty in life, the beauty of love.

But he couldn’t have you. You were always right there, within arm’s reach, yet somehow still so far away. So close, yet utterly untouchable.

You were the one wish he could never make come true, the one dream that slipped through his fingers no matter how much he held on.

So he learned to love you in other ways. He clung to his dreams. In those dreams, he allowed himself to imagine a world where you loved him back. In the silence between you, he heard love letters that you never wrote, but that he pretended were meant for him. The unsaid words, the fleeting glances, the quiet moments. He let himself believe those were your way of loving him too.

It was the only way he knew how to cope with the reality of having you so near, but never truly his.

But now, for the first time, Kylian felt truly alone.

He had always felt splashes of loneliness here and there — on long trips, in quiet hotel rooms — but it was never total, because you were always there, a phone call or text away, making everything better. You were the one person who made his days brighter, who reminded him he wasn’t alone in the world. Now, without you, he was struggling to find that peace.

Even his family had noticed your absence. You were always around.

Kylian’s parents loved you like a daughter, and his brother Ethan adored you as his favorite board game partner and his friend in general. But it had been weeks since you’d been over.

“Is Y/N okay? I haven’t seen her around for a while,” his mom had asked, concern lacing her voice.

Kylian shrugged, pretending not to care as much as he did. “She’s busy.” The words felt hollow, even to him. He knew his mom didn’t believe him, but thankfully, she didn’t press further.

During their monthly family dinner, your absence was even more obvious. You usually never missed it, loving the food, the laughter, the warmth of being around his family. But tonight, you weren’t there.

“She’s busy again?” his father asked, noticing Kylian’s sour mood.

Kylian nodded, not trusting himself to say more. His usual charm was replaced with a quiet frustration he couldn’t hide.

Even Ethan had chimed in, disappointed. “Did you guys argue? She doesn’t come over anymore. What happened?”

The room fell silent as Kylian’s emotions threatened to spill over.

“Can we stop talking about this? I don’t know what’s going on. She’s just busy, okay?” The words felt wrong, a lie to protect himself from the truth he was afraid to face.

His family exchanged worried glances, but they dropped the subject, sensing Kylian’s discomfort. They hoped whatever was wrong between the two of you would work itself out soon.

Everyone around him knew the truth. They all knew he was in love with you. It was as clear as day. Even strangers could see the way his eyes lit up when you walked into a room, the way he always gravitated toward you. It was obvious to everyone but the two of you.

It was starting to drive him crazy. When it comes to you, Kylian had always been patient, always careful not to push too hard. But this? This was different. Not having you in his life made him feel hollow, like a vital part of him was missing. He couldn’t take it anymore.

He was done waiting. He was done respecting the boundaries you’d put up between you. After over a month of not seeing you, Kylian knew he had to fight for you, no matter what it took. He wasn’t about to lose the best thing in his life without a fight.

────── ❀•°❀°•❀ ──────

One-sided love is a paradox. Being close to someone you love but not being able to call them yours is excruciating, but being away from them? That’s somehow even worse.

When you made the decision to distance yourself from Kylian, you convinced yourself it was for the best. That birthday card you found in his drawer had been the final straw. You were so confused. Why had he kept it all these years? It was probably just a sweet childhood memory to him, but for you, it meant so much more. It was a reminder of how deeply your feelings ran, how entangled your heart had become with his.

So, you decided to slowly pull away, trying to learn how to live without him. The life you’d been leading, where every day felt like emotional Russian roulette, was unbearable. You couldn’t continue to live a life where your heart was broken in small, painful ways every single day.

The thought of one day sitting beside Kylian, hearing him excitedly tell you about falling in love with someone else, shattered you. It was inevitable. He’d find someone else, someone who wasn’t you. And when that day came, you weren’t sure you’d survive it.

Distancing yourself was supposed to be for your own good. You knew it would be hard, but you hadn’t expected the pain to feel so overwhelming. It was like a knife twisting in your chest, never letting you catch your breath.

At first, you held onto the hope that it would get easier. That over time, you’d learn to live without him. But the longer you stayed away, the worse it got.

Every time you ignored his calls or responded with a dry “I’m busy,” you were flooded with guilt. What if he really needed you? What if something was wrong, and you weren’t there for him? The thought of letting him down broke your heart. Kylian had always valued you, always made it clear how important you were to him. How much he needed you in his life. He had never made you doubt your place in his world. You, on the other hand, were failing him.

But what could you say? How could you explain why you were pulling away? The truth was too dangerous. Being around him had become unbearable, not just because it hurt, but because every time you were with him, you fell deeper in love. And the more you loved him, the more impossible it became to hide.

Kylian made it so easy to love him. He was always thoughtful, always making sure you were comfortable, always knowing what you needed before you even said it. He was strong, intelligent, protective, but also soft, with a heart so big it amazed you every day. He was everything you had ever wanted.

But he was also your best friend. The one person who could make you laugh until your sides hurt. The one you could share every fear, every secret with. He was the one who offered you a shoulder to cry on, who listened without judgment, who always knew how to make you feel better.

And you missed him. You missed him so much it felt like a physical ache. But being near him was just as painful as being away from him.

“Are you even listening?” Louis’ voice snapped you back to reality. You were sitting across from him at a café, your coffee growing cold as your mind wandered back to Kylian.

“Sorry,” you muttered, offering a sheepish smile. “I got lost in thought.”

Louis smiled, but you could tell he sensed something was off. He continued talking about his day, unaware that your mind was still drifting, still stuck on Kylian.

You weren’t dating Louis, not officially, but you were seeing where things went. You’d gone out a few times over the past few weeks, and while he was charming and sweet, there was something missing.

Chemistry.

That spark, that effortless connection you had with Kylian, was nowhere to be found with Louis. It wasn’t fair to compare him to Kylian, but you couldn’t help it.

“You remember our plans for tonight, right?” When the coffee date ended, Louis asked, his tone light and teasing, as he reminded you of the bowling night you had planned a few days ago.

“Of course! Can’t wait!” you replied, giving him a quick hug, the warmth of his embrace lingering as you pulled away.

With a smile still on your face, you turned and headed back to your work, which was conveniently located just around the corner from the café where you’d shared coffee.

The workday unfolded like any other; mundane tasks, the hum of conversations around you, the rhythmic tapping of keyboards filling the air.

But everything shifted in an instant when the button on your shirt suddenly ripped free. It tumbled to the floor and rolled beneath the couch near your desk, a small but annoying mishap that disrupted your concentration.

You knelt down, using the flashlight on your phone to search for the wayward button. As you leaned under the couch, your phone buzzed, the sudden vibration startling you. But it was the message itself that sent a chill down your spine.

I’m coming over tonight after training. I’ll be done around 10.

It was Kylian. You hadn’t heard from him for a little while, which had been both a relief and a disappointment. You were trying so hard to avoid him, but every time he reached out, the temptation to see him tugged at your heart.

Panic set in. Not tonight. You weren’t ready to face him, not yet.

It had been weeks since you’d last seen him, and you still didn’t know how to handle the flood of emotions that came with being around him. You needed more time to build up the courage to have that inevitable conversation.

Quickly, you typed back:

Not tonight. I’m going out with Louis.

You knew you were using Louis as an excuse, but the idea of seeing Kylian tonight was too much. You needed more than a few hours to mentally prepare for that kind of conversation.

You expected Kylian to reply, but there was no response. Your heart sank as you wondered if he’d taken the hint.

The rest of your day passed in a blur. Thoughts of Kylian consumed you, memories of the last time you saw him, the way you left him confused and hurt. You hated yourself for the way you’d handled things, for running away when he deserved an explanation. But more than anything, you hated him for making it so hard. For being the kind of person you couldn’t help but love, even when it was the last thing you wanted.

Time passed quickly, and before you knew it, you were home, getting ready for your evening plans with Louis.

As you arrived there, your mind betrayed you. It took you back to a certain day about a year ago, a Sunday spent bowling with Kylian and your friends. You could still hear his playful teasing, the way he’d pretended to be a pro at the game, only to pout dramatically when he lost.

“What’s so funny?” Louis asked as he tied his bowling shoes, noticing the small smile that had crept onto your face.

You hadn’t realized you’d been smiling. “Oh, nothing,” you stammered, trying to shake the memory away.

The game went smoothly, and as you both enjoyed a few rounds of bowling and some ice cream, everything seemed fine on the surface. But inside, you were a mess. Even in Louis’ presence, Kylian was still on your mind.

After starting up the engine of his car, Louis glanced at you, concern clear in his eyes. “You seem kind of off,” he said. “Is everything okay?”

You nodded quickly, forcing a smile. “I’m fine, just tired from work.”

He sighed softly, glancing at you with a mixture of frustration and sympathy. “It’s not just today. You’ve been distracted for a while now.”

You froze, guilt washing over you. He was right. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t hide how preoccupied you’d been. Louis knew about Kylian. He didn’t know everything, of course, but he knew enough to realize that Kylian was a significant part of your life.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied, pretending not to understand. “I’m fine, really.”

Louis didn’t push further. The rest of the drive was quiet, filled with an awkward tension you couldn’t shake. When he dropped you off, he got out to walk you to your door as usual.

“I like spending time with you, Y/N,” he said softly, his tone sincere.

Your heart raced, not with excitement, but with dread. You knew what was coming next, and you weren’t ready for it.

“Me too,” you said, but your voice lacked the sincerity Louis deserved. He seemed to sense it.

Gently, Louis reached for your face, leaning in for a kiss. Almost immediately, as if on instinct, you turned your head, pulling back awkwardly.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, the words barely audible.

Louis sighed, stepping back, disappointment etched on his face. “I was kind of expecting this.”

You blinked in surprise, unsure what to say.

“I’ve known all along, Y/N,” he continued. “You’re in love with Kylian, aren’t you?”

The question hit you like a punch to the gut. Was it really that obvious? Had your attempts to hide your feelings been that transparent?

“I... I don’t...” you stammered, not knowing how to respond.

Louis offered you a sad smile. “The way you talk about him, the way you light up when you mention his name; it’s clear. I thought maybe, if we spent time together, you’d start to feel the same way about me. But I think we both know that’s not going to happen.”

Your heart ached. You hadn’t meant to hurt Louis, hadn’t meant to lead him on. You had hoped that maybe, being with him would help you move on. But deep down, you knew it was impossible.

“I’m so sorry, Louis,” you said softly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He nodded, his expression gentle despite the sadness in his eyes. “It’s okay. I get it. I really do.”

He gave you a quick hug, and as he walked back to his car, he turned one last time. “I hope it works out, Y/N,” he said with a faint smile. “I hope you get what you want.”

As Louis drove away, you stood at your doorstep, emotions swirling inside you like a storm. The guilt from your conversation with him weighed heavily on your chest, but there was something else, something that had been bubbling to the surface for weeks.

It was Kylian. Always Kylian.

You couldn’t keep living in this limbo, trapped between your love for him and your fear of losing him. Louis had said it out loud, the truth you had been running from. You were in love with Kylian, and there was no denying it anymore. No more hiding behind excuses, no more pretending you didn’t feel the way you did. It was time to confront it, once and for all.

After entering your apartment, you headed straight for the shower. The hot water was exactly what you needed to ease the tension that had built up in your muscles over the past few weeks.

As the steam enveloped you, it felt like the warmth was washing away not just the physical strain, but also some of the emotional weight you had been carrying.

Once the shower had calmed you down a bit, you settled onto a stool at the kitchen island, wrapping your hands around a warm mug of peppermint tea. You scrolled through your phone, trying to distract yourself from the thoughts that had been swirling in your mind.

But then, a sudden ring of the doorbell startled you, making you jump slightly. Glancing at the clock, you wondered who could possibly be visiting you at 10:45 PM. Curiosity piqued, you rose from your seat and walked over to the peephole.

When you looked through, your heart skipped a beat. There, on the doorstep, stood a familiar and beloved face.

Your heart pounded in your chest. He was here. Now. You hadn’t expected him to show up, especially after you’d told him you were busy. Panic set in. What were you going to say? How could you face him after everything?

But you couldn’t avoid him forever.

Taking a deep breath, you unlocked the door, your heart racing. Kylian stepped in, looking at you with those familiar, intense eyes that always seemed to see straight through you. He looked exhausted, but there was a determination in his gaze that made your pulse quicken.

“You were out with Louis?” His voice was calm, but there was an edge to it.

You didn’t say anything.

Kylian sighed, rubbing his forehead. “I don’t understand, Y/N. What’s going on? Why have you been avoiding me?”

There it was, the question you had been dreading. You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out.

How could you explain to him that being near him had become unbearable? That every moment with him made you fall deeper in love, and the deeper you fell, the harder it was to keep pretending?

“I’m not avoiding you,” you lied, your voice shaking. “I’ve just been busy with work and... stuff.”

Kylian’s eyes darkened with frustration. “Don’t lie to me, Y/N. You’re not just busy. Something’s wrong, and you won’t tell me what it is. I’m your best friend, why are you shutting me out?”

The words hit you like a blow. Best friend. That’s all you were to him. The same old label you had clung to for years, hoping it would be enough, when in reality, it was tearing you apart.

You felt the lump in your throat grow, your emotions finally boiling over. You couldn’t keep this up. Not anymore.

“Kylian, please, just... don’t,” you whispered, your voice cracking.

He stepped closer, his brow furrowed with concern. “Don’t what? Talk to you? Be here for you? What is it, Y/N? What did I do to make you push me away?”

You closed your eyes, tears stinging behind your eyelids. How could he not see it? How could he not know what was breaking you? Every part of you wanted to tell him, to scream that you loved him, that you had been in love with him for years, but the fear, the fear of doing the wrong thing, kept your lips sealed.

Kylian’s voice softened, his frustration melting into worry. “Please, just talk to me. I missed my best friend.”

Those words broke you. You felt a sob rise in your chest as you looked at him, the tears finally spilling over. “I can’t do this anymore,” you choked out, your voice barely a whisper.

Kylian’s face fell, his eyes widening in shock. “What do you mean?”

“I just can’t.” You croaked, tears welling up in your eyes. It was difficult to speak without crying; the intensity of your emotions was overwhelming.

For now, you decided to embrace what you were feeling, letting the tears fall freely. A sob escaped your lips, the sound raw and heart-wrenching.

Just as you felt on the verge of completely breaking down, Kylian’s arms wrapped around you, squeezing you tight. He settled the two of you onto the couch, holding you close, right where you belonged.

You cried, gasping for air as everything that had been building inside you over the years surged forth. Your tears became a release, washing away the weight of unspoken feelings and fears.

“It’s okay. Everything is going to be fine,” he whispered into your hair, his hand gently caressing your back as you buried your face in his chest. “I’m here. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.” His words were a balm to your frayed nerves, a promise that soothed your aching heart.

You could feel his shirt dampening from your tears, but you clung to him tighter, as if afraid he might vanish if you let go.

Kylian held you until the sobs began to subside, never rushing you. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear, words of comfort that wrapped around you like a warm blanket.

When you finally began to calm down, he stood up and made his way to the kitchen, returning moments later with a glass of water.

“Take a sip,” he urged, handing the glass to you. You took a few small sips, grateful for the cool liquid that soothed your throat, and he gently placed the glass on the coffee table.

Taking a seat next to you, he caressed your hair, his fingers weaving through the strands with a tenderness that made your heart swell. Kylian looked at you with those familiar eyes — eyes you loved so dearly, filled with concern and affection.

You wiped at your tears, but more kept coming. “I can’t do this.” you said, motioning between the two of you. “I can’t keep pretending everything’s fine when it’s not.”

Kylian’s expression hardened, his jaw tightening. “What are you pretending? Y/N, you’re not making any sense.”

You took a shaky breath, the words you had been holding back for so long finally clawing their way to the surface.

“I want to tell you everything,” you said suddenly, a mysterious confidence surging within you.

You couldn’t hold it in any longer. The weight of your love for Kylian had become suffocating, unbearable, and you felt as if you were drowning in your own feelings. The only way to pull yourself up was to be completely honest with him, to finally let it all out.

Kylian nodded, his expression serious. “Is this about your boyfriend?” he asked, the disappointment in his voice evident. He attempted to mask it with curiosity, but he didn’t quite succeed.

“No. He’s not my boyfriend,” you answered immediately, a sense of thrill washing over you as you spoke the truth. Kylian nodded again, a flicker of relief crossing his face, but the worry of losing you was still etched deeply on his beautiful features.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the most important conversation of your life.

“When we met for the first time, I was so excited,” you began, taking a trip down memory lane. You desperately needed to let it all out. “I loved my new friend. I loved how funny and silly you were. I loved how much you loved to make others laugh.” Kylian smiled softly, his eyes glimmering with fondness.

“Growing up with you by my side was incredible. We had so much fun, and every time we hung out, I was genuinely happy.” His smile remained, but there was a hint of worry now, as if he was trying to figure out where this was heading.

“When you became a teenager and started playing football professionally, I was over the moon for you. Seeing how hard you worked, I truly believed no one deserved this success more than you.” Your sincerity was palpable, and you meant every word. You had always been his biggest fan, cheering him on from the sidelines as he chased his dreams.

“But as we grew up, I realized that what I felt for you was something deeper, something raw and special. At first, I thought it was just our friendship and all the time we spent together.” Kylian's smile faltered slightly, and that only made your heart race faster. You had to keep going.

“Before I knew it, I had fallen completely in love with you.” You finally said it, the truth hanging in the air between you.

It felt surreal, almost liberating to admit it out loud.

You dropped your gaze to your lap, unable to bear the weight of his gaze. You didn’t want to see the look in his eyes, the thought terrified you.

“I don’t even know when it happened, Kylian, but it did. I fell for you. Deeply.” With a shaky hand, you wiped away a tear that had escaped. Kylian gently grasped your chin, trying to make you look at him, but you averted your gaze, needing to finish your confession.

“I tried so hard to get over you. I did everything I could, but nothing worked. You have a place in my heart that nobody else could ever have.” The admission felt both strange and freeing, finally allowing yourself to voice what you had kept buried for so long.

“When I went out with Louis for the first time, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It felt so wrong, but I couldn’t help it.” You noticed Kylian’s breath hitch, the tension in the room thickening.

“Then when I came over to your house, looking for my socks, I accidentally opened a drawer I wish I hadn’t.” You recalled that fateful night, the moment you’d fled from his home like it was on fire.

“I saw the birthday card I gave you when I first came over for your party. I didn’t even know you kept it. I figured it was just a silly memory for you, but it meant so much to me.” The memory was bittersweet, and fresh tears rolled down your cheeks.

“I didn’t know what to do. Everything became overwhelming in an instant, so I ran.” A new set of tears streamed down your face as the emotions surged forth. “I know what I did was wrong. You deserved an explanation, but I couldn’t keep living like this. I couldn’t pretend you didn’t mean the world to me.” Kylian let out a deep sigh, his eyes searching yours.

“I tried to distance myself from you, to focus on myself, thinking maybe I could somehow get over you, but nothing worked.” Admitting that Kylian was your one and only was hard enough, but saying it out loud to him felt like stepping off a cliff. “I know this will change our friendship forever. I know I’ve most likely ruined everything we had, but I couldn’t take this anymore.” Your voice trembled, breaking with the weight of your words.

“Please understand Kylian that I needed to say all this to you. I’m sorry for not talking to you, and I’m sorry for being foolish enough to fall for you when you only see me as a friend. I’m sorry for damaging our friendship.” Once your heartfelt confession and apologies spilled out, you finally looked up at Kylian. His expression was unreadable, a mix of emotions swirling across his features. You had always been good at detecting his feelings, but this was something you had never seen before, and it terrified you.

You were slowly coming to terms with the painful possibility that this was it — that your friendship might be ending. But at least you could finally live with a little peace, knowing you had spoken your truth.

For a moment, the world seemed to stop. Kylian stood frozen, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly open as if he couldn’t quite process what you had just said. Silence stretched between you, heavy and suffocating.

“You love me?” he finally breathed, his voice barely audible.  

You wiped at your tears again and nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. “Yes, I love you, and I’ve tried to ignore it, tried to push it down, but it’s only gotten worse. And being around you, pretending I’m fine, pretending that all I want is to be your friend, it’s tearing me apart.”

Kylian blinked, still staring at you in disbelief. “Y/N...”

“I don’t expect anything from you,” you said quickly, your voice trembling. “I just... I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I couldn’t keep lying to myself.”

Kylian couldn’t believe his ears. Internally, he was screaming, jumping for joy, crying tears of happiness, and doing a victory dance.

This was beyond his wildest dreams. He would have never imagined that you loved him back, let alone to this extent.

It felt impossible. Unreal. Dreamy even. He was on cloud nine, his heart racing with elation.

He could hardly think straight. The love of his life. His safe space. His beautiful girl. His Y/N loved him back. This was hands down the happiest moment of his entire life. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. He longed to tell you everything; the depths of his love, the countless sleepless nights he had spent dreaming of holding you in his arms, the silent tears he had shed during his teenage years when he was far, far away from you.

The more you stared at him, the deeper he fell for you. He wanted to share all of it, but for now, he needed to do one thing that would make you feel the intensity of his love.

After what felt like an eternity of gazing at you, he couldn’t wait any longer. In an instant, before you could fully process the moment, he pressed his soft lips against yours. He cradled your face, pouring his heart into the kiss. Slowly, he slipped his tongue into your mouth, savoring the taste that had quickly become his favorite.

You responded immediately, kissing him back without a second thought. It felt instinctive, as if it were a natural reflex.

Your lips moved perfectly in sync, as if they were made for each other. There was no hesitation, no awkwardness. You both knew each other’s mouths effortlessly, and it felt like you two’s first kiss and a millionth kiss all at once.

Eventually, you pulled back, though it was against your wishes. You needed to catch your breath. Kylian’s hands rested on your cheeks as you grasped both of his wrists, connecting your foreheads in a tender moment of intimacy.

Kylian shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

You laughed bitterly, wiping at your eyes. “Because I was scared. I was scared you didn’t feel the same way, and that I’d lose you. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.”

Kylian caressed your face, his touch so soft it made your heart ache.

“You’ll never lose me,” he whispered, his eyes locking onto yours. “I could never let you go, Y/N. Not ever.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you searched his eyes, trying to understand what he was saying.

“Do you—” you began, but Kylian cut you off, his voice barely a whisper.

“I love you too.”

Your heart stopped. Those four words, the ones you’d longed to hear for so many years, hung in the air between you like a lifeline.

You searched his face, looking for any sign that he didn’t mean it, that this was just another cruel twist of fate, but there was nothing. His expression was open, raw, and filled with emotion. Emotion you had never seen in him before.

“What?” you whispered, almost too afraid to believe it.

Kylian’s thumbs gently brushed the tears from your cheeks, his touch warm and familiar. “I love you,” he repeated, his voice soft but sure. “I’ve been in love with you for so long.” Your breath hitched in your throat as the weight of his words settled in.

He loved you.

He had loved you all along.

“But... why didn’t you say anything?” you asked, your voice shaking with disbelief.

Kylian let out a shaky breath, his hands still cradling your face. “Same as you.” he admitted. “I was scared of ruining what we have. You’re the most important person in my life, Y/N. I couldn’t risk losing you.”

You blinked up at him, still processing everything. All this time, you had been afraid to tell him how you felt, convinced that your love was unrequited. And all this time, he had been feeling the exact same way.

“I thought I was losing you,” Kylian continued, his voice raw with emotion. “When you started pulling away, I thought it was because of Louis. I thought maybe you were falling for him, and it scared the hell out of me. I couldn’t stand the idea of you with someone else.”

You shook your head, a soft laugh escaping your lips. “Louis? No, Kylian. It was never about him. It was always you.”

Kylian’s eyes softened, a look of relief washing over his face.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t love you,” Kylian said, his voice thick with sincerity. It was his turn to apologize for something he absolutely shouldn’t have been apologizing for.

“If the fear of losing you hadn’t been my greatest fear, I wouldn’t have been such a coward. I would have told you that you are the love of my life a long time ago.” You smiled through your tears, the warmth of his words wrapping around you like a comforting embrace.

Kylian gently wiped your tears away with his thumb, his touch tender and reassuring. Then, with a playful spark in his eyes, he leaned in and gave you a quick peck on the nose, a gesture that made your heart flutter.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, your heart bursting with emotion.

“I love you, Kylian,” you whispered, your voice thick with tears. “I’ve always loved you.”

“I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I can’t believe it’s real.”

You smiled, your heart feeling lighter than it had in years.

He pulled you into his arms, holding you close as if he never wanted to let go. And in that moment, everything felt right. All the years of longing, all the heartache, all the fear; it was all worth it for this.

Kylian kissed your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment before he spoke again. “You’re mine, Y/N. You’ve always been mine.”

You looked up at him, your heart swelling with love.

For the first time in a long time, the future didn’t seem so terrifying. You weren’t afraid of losing him anymore, because you knew that no matter what happened, Kylian would always be there.

You had found something so much more than friendship; something that had been waiting for you all along.

“You are everything I ever wanted love to be,” Kylian whispered before closing the distance between your lips once again.

What you two shared transcended words and expressions. It was otherworldly, something uniquely special. A connection that defied explanation.

Ever since you met, no one else had been worth thinking about. Your love was the kind that didn’t have an off switch; it was a constant flame, burning brightly. You were each other’s sweetest feelings, the light in each other’s lives.

Love could be as simple as watching the moon together or as difficult as counting the stars. But for you, he was willing to do both.  

——————————————————————————

[symbioticsimplicity]

Don't think about Blitz swallowing back tears to appear angry as he asks Stolas what the fuck the point of keeping this deal up was if he was just looking for a chance to throw him away when he gives him the crystal. Don't think about the face Stolas would make. DEFINITELY don't think about Stolas finally losing his tight hold on his tongue and shouting at Blitz about how it isn't fair to either of them. For Blitz to be trapped by something he doesn't want, or for Stolas who just wants someone to love and value him. How he just wants to mean SOMETHING to SOMEONE so that he doesn't feel like the utter waste of space he's always been told he was. Don't think about him dropping to his knees sobbing or about him berating himself for still being pathetic. Don't think about the violent revelation that would be for Blitz, about how he would suddenly see himself in this man he's convinced himself couldn't be any more different from him.

Don't think about Blitz just standing there and staring for a long moment, before half tripping over himself to drop down and hug Stolas. Don't think about the broken way he'd try to tell him that he gets it, he really really does, but his care and his regard are toxic. Worse than having no one. Don't think about Stolas telling Blitz that his presence in his life has always been one of the only two things to ever make him genuinely happy. Or how Stolas could tell him Blitz's presence, even at its worst has helped him grow into himself in ways he never knew he could, but had always dreamed to.

Don't think about the immovable object of Blitz's disbelief being slammed against the unstoppable force of Stolas' genuine admiration. Don't think about the way hope might begin to blossom in Blitz's eyes or about the way that confidence could creep into Stolas' voice. Because this, this is something he can do, he knows how to talk, how to persuade, when he means it.

Don't think about Blitz putting every bit of obstinate stubbornness in his body toward convincing Stolas that that isn't true. Don't think about Blitz finally airing everything he he's done wrong to everyone he's ever wronged just to make sure Stolas knows he's trash. Knows he's not whoever Stolas has built him up to be in his mind.

Don't think about the horror in Blitz's eyes when Stolas goes still in his arms. How, for no more than a heart beat, Blitz is sure he's done it AGAIN and is already set to snuff that pathetic flicker of hope Stolas momenttarily awoke in him.

Don't think about Stolas's soft, kind voice telling him he doesn't care about that. How he isn't afraid of being hurt, he'd take pain over loneliness any day, and if Blitz hurts him, he will only ever come back for more and more so long as he cares enough to give him that pain.

Don't think about Blitz being both flattered and now terrified because what the actual fuck is wrong with Stolas, didn’t he JUST leave a relationship like that, he's too goddamn good to have to put up with that, didn’t he learn, doesn't he see?!

Don't think about Stolas looking at Blitz with heartfelt desperation, or Blitz looking at Stolas desperate heart feeling. Don't think about Blitz, who wants love more than anything, who wants to be chosen more than ANYTHING, absolutely trembling in the face of true devotion. He has no idea what to do with it, but his whole life has taught him to be opportunistic and he wants.

Don't think about him asking Stolas, one more time, so quietly he barely even sounds like himself "Me?"

Don't think about Stolas looking at him like he's the most glorious being in the cosmos, don't think about the reverence in his tone or the affection in his eyes as he tells Blitz that it's always been him. Don't think about Blitz trying not to cry and losing, settling for at least hugging Stolas so he can't see. The way the owl would wrap his entire body around him, finally finding exactly what he's been looking for and incomparably happy for it. Don't think about Blitz telling Stolas that it hasn't always been him, but that he's the first one he's ever chosen to come back to.

Just some things you shouldn't think about.

[betryl]

Along with Camilla's and Bunny's, another pov I would love to see is Charles'. He had such a tragic development throughout the book, but we get to know very little about what he actually went through, and it makes it easy to put all the blame on him – of course, he was an abuser and that doesn't change, but it would still be so interesting to actually get his own opinion, without Henry, Camilla or Francis speaking on his behalf. Not to justify him, but just to see things the way he did and get yet another interpretation of the whole story.

We'd get to know what his and Camilla's relationship was actually like – and it would probably look even worse from his perspective. His encounters with Francis, too. He puts the blame on Charles taking advantage of him, even though they were probably both taking advantage of each other in some ways – but we never got to hear how Charles felt about the situation.

We'd get to see him slowly lose his mind to alcohol, and it would probably be even more subtle than how it felt from Richard's pov, making it even the more chilling. Him getting progressively more depressed, more irritable, more violent (and therefore, I believe, more guilty about his own behavior too), to the point of being basically drunk all the time, and feeling like a totally different person to how he was at the beginning.

And then we'd get to see him get more and more paranoid about Henry. I would have loved to see more of their dynamic, because while I've seen some people reducing it to a love triangle with Camilla (?), it wasn't just that, and Charles had quite a few valid reasons to hate him. Henry pulled Charles into the whole mess basically against his will – he was the only one who, more than once, tried convincing the others the murder was a bad idea, and no one listened to him and listened to Henry instead. He was depressed for Bunny's death. He got coerced by Henry to get involved with the police too, having to bear the weight of everyone possibly ending up in jail if he did something wrong.

He realized that all of this was mostly Henry's fault, but then the situation with Camilla came along, and Charles suddenly understood he had just become the next target Henry might have wanted to get rid of – and he even tried to. He had every right being scared of him, but the others barely even believed him. So the paranoia turned into genuine fear for his life, until he eventually snapped, and we know what happened next.

All of this was hidden behind Richard's pov, which definitely made it difficult to understand his actions or how he was feeling. As much as I don't like him as a person, he really grew on me and genuinely became one of my favorite characters. And seeing it all from his perspective would be terrifying.

[devildomwriter]

Horror Movie Marathon: They React to The Blair Witch Project

Luke was put to bed and is not allowed to watch the movie

Lucifer

• He appreciates the realism of found footage and the naturalist of the characters

• He keeps mentioning things they’re doing wrong almost as soon as they begin and you get camping with Lucifer flashbacks

• As soon as the characters find the graveyard and accidentally knock a cairn over he shakes his head. “Childish mistake” What does that even mean?

• Lucifer doesn’t get scared by horror movies but he appreciates the tension building as noises and bizarre happenings increase every night until someone disappears

• When the map is lost he begins informing you how to avoid that situation and what to do to get out, including escaping actual paranormal circumstances which just unnerves you

• He nods his head and smiles as it ends, approving of the movie and genuinely enjoying it

Mammon

• If you tell him it’s a real documentary, he will dead-ass believe you and be that much more scared

• He thinks he’s safe in the daylight until they go deeper into the forest and he just knows something’s gonna pop up but when nothing does he’s more disturbed. What’s making the snapping stick sound?

• They’re just lost, where’s all the bad stuff? Then he wonders if it’s a ghost and he’s even more terrified because you can’t really see those

• The noises get weirder and people begin to vanish and lose their minds and he’s so unsettled, he keeps waiting for the witch to pop up and scare him

• Suddenly the movie ends with a scream and he’s screaming too. He’s so fucking unsettled that he never saw the Blair Witch and will not go near a forest for a while. He’s pretty convinced the Blair Witch is real.

Leviathan

• He’s okay with watching a horror movie but even more so a found footage film. He loves the awkwardness of the lead, it’s relatable

• He tells you how he would’ve gone about documenting it and what they got right and wrong. He enjoys how authentic it feels as a documentary

• He’s creeped out as things start happening at night and clings a little closer to you

• When everyone starts arguing it reminds him of a dinner they had the previous week and relaxes until it gets so much worse

• He’s pretty stiff when the ending comes, he’s prepared to see the witch but instead it’s a loud scream and he jumps

• He enjoys it but uses this movie as an excuse to stay inside

Satan

• Satan loves genuine documentaries so he really likes watching found film movies and this is basically the OG, the one that popularized the genre so he’s excited to see it with you

• Without spoiling it for himself he researches the directors, cast, and artistic direction. He also watches the fake documentary that aired before the movie

• He loves camping so he enjoys the forest setting and laughs creepily when things begin going wrong. He finds it amusing for some reason.

• He keeps mumbling directions under his breath by mistake and he’s really invested and paying attention to details you wouldn’t have seen on a seventh watch.

• He loves the movie, especially the fear of the unknown you get with never seeing the Blair Witch

• “Did they base this off the Cranber Witch?”

• “The what?”

• “Never mind, it’s better you not know.”

Asmodeus

• He’s not so big on the idea of a horror movie, especially after he wanted to relax for the night but he comes around to it for you

• He thinks the idea of tracking down a witch sounds like fun and is under the assumption it’s an actual documentary about missing persons.

• It’s fun and relaxing until they come across the graves and he knows that’s a bad sign. “Never disturb the graves, that’s what happened to Mammon.”

• When the first guy disappears and they find what’s left of him later in a bundle of sticks he begins snuggling up to you, feigning fear

• By the end of it he’s actually scared and shaking and must be comforted and told it’s not real or he won’t be able to get his beauty sleep

Beelzebub

• He doesn’t mind documentaries or horror, it’s perfect for snacking on popcorn

• He really enjoys it and then it gets to the forest and it’s a little unnerving hearing all the sticks breaking and things moving around

• He thinks they’re just lost but he’s so wrong. He keeps asking you questions about what’s happening and grows more concerned

• When Josh vanishes he really starts worrying and keeps looking over at you and occasionally pauses chewing so he can focus better on the movie

• He shakes his head when Heather follows the disembodied voice into the abandoned house and when the movie ends suddenly after a scream, he jumps a little

• He wonders what happened to all of them and is happy to be told it’s not a real documentary

Belphegor

• He’s against these people from the beginning. He just seems to genuinely dislike the characters

• He theorizes which of the rumors of the Blair witch will turn out to be true

• He calls almost everything, that Josh would vanish first since he knocked over the gravestone, that they’d be lost, that they’d hear children laughing

• Nothing surprises him, he’s commenting on it very casually as if he’d seen it before

• When things really start going wrong and everyone is panicking he laughs at them and cheers when things go wrong. He just really doesn’t like them and calls them idiots.

• He’s satisfied with the ending and asks if the bodies were ever found. He’s somewhat disappointed it’s completely fictional.

Solomon

• Solomon has heard a lot about the movie and has a general idea of what happens but is still excited to see it with you

• The rumors of the Blair witch were so intense when it came out he had to look into it as someone who guards humanity

• He’s excited to finally see what it’s all about and enjoys the dedication to the roles and the incredible improv the cast uses

• He sees all the strange things in the background and correctly predicts the eerie things coming their way. He also explains when and why some of these things would show up which makes the movie unnerving for you.

• When it’s over he’s very happy with it but says it’s oddly familiar to the Cranber witch and refuses to elaborate

Simeon

• Simeon isn’t a fan of horror movies and relaxes that it’s in the form of a documentary.

• He finds all the rumors of the Blair witch to be dreadful and wonders what kind of bloodshed he’s gotten himself into watching

• He enjoys the movie growing increasingly eerie and compliments the writers and actors about it.

• He analyzes the witchcraft-like things he sees and explains what would happen in real life which makes you cling to him a little so he makes a point of spooking you a little for fun.

• He’s disturbed when Josh’s remains are found but figured it’d happen.

• He’s very surprised by the ending and his heart beats fast as he waits for the appearance of the Blair Witch but it never happens and he’s still convinced it’ll happen during the credits

• He likes the movie but he’s not fond of all the cursing

Raphael

• He pays very close attention to the movie, not even speaking. He looks like he’s taking mental notes of all the Blair Witch rumors as if he intends to do something about the fictional situation

• His eye twitches each time someone curses, so the big argument scene is not a favorite of his

• He keeps looking at you, wondering why you aren’t disturbed and you realize he thinks this is all real. You don’t tell him because you want to see it he’ll actually go hunt down a fake witch.

• He’ll let you hold him if you get scared or feign fear because he thinks that is a natural response to the increasingly hopeless situation the trio have found themselves in

• By the end when Heather screams and is dragged away and the credits roll, he’s shaking his head and really looks like he’s about to go fight something. If you decide not to tell him it’s fake he will be pretty annoyed with you after looking for a witch that never existed. If you do tell him it’s fake he relaxes a little and can take in the movie and enjoy it more

Thirteen

• Thirteen loves a good horror movie, she also thinks they’re great inspiration for traps, especially during Halloween

• She doesn’t really vibe with the main characters and tells you this is why humans die so easily in the real world because they chase after dangerous things with too much confidence

• Thirteen enjoys all the gruesome rumors of the witch and loves it when all the bad things begin popping up. She takes notes on small stationery for ideas of scaring people, like children laughing, shaking camper’s tents, and making twig figures

• She keeps thinking the Blair witch will show up because she wants costume ideas and even though she’s a little disappointed she never got to see it she has a eureka moment and begins planning an ultimate prank to scare Solomon without ever being seen

• She enjoys the movie and would 10/10 watch it again

Mephistopheles

• As a reporter he appreciates the found-footage style horror genre. Though he’d never usually watch horror for the fun of it, he does enjoy seeing the movie that popularized a new genre of horror

• He critiques the character’s style of directing and tells you what questions would be better to ask

• He knows it’s supposed to be horror but he finds getting lost in a forest so easily to be a little silly—until things go very wrong

• Things escalate so quickly he completely rethinks his opinion of the movie thus far and by the end of it when Heather screams and disappears he is a little shaken

• He claps when it ends and praises the directing of the movie and the growing unease you get as you watch it.

• Immediately proceeds to write a lengthy review that might show up in the RAD newspaper about human world horror movies.

Barbatos

• Horror doesn’t affect Barbatos and even without his powers he can tell exactly what’s going to happen but he’s happy to relax with you and watch it anyway.

• He’s mostly silent as he watches but asks for your opinion now and then

• He shakes his head when the grave is knocked over and warns you that this is a fast way to make spirits angry with you

• He also warms you against continuing your path when you see piles of rocks or twig figures. He explains these things are very much real and you’re guaranteed an awful fate if you find them and to just call for him if you do.

• He makes the movie a thousand times more unsettling with his real-life input and horrific trivia

• He laughs when they hear strange noises and scolds them when they leave the tent. Compulsory advice is now a habit after caring for Diavolo

• He enjoys the movie and finds it a pleasant experience. He can see why some humans were “Foolish” enough to believe it was real

Diavolo

• Diavolo loves watching horror movies so he was very excited to see the good reviews the movie got, and before it could begin he goes over the trivia and history of it with you to get you more excited about it

• He’s munching away on the popcorn pretty eagerly at first and complimenting the backstory and scenery

• He becomes more quiet as things begin to go wrong and holds your hand when scary noises and twigs break sound through the night

• He begins feeling bad for the characters, even though he knows it’s just a movie, and tries giving advice to them

• “Oh no,” he says completely seriously when they find Josh’s remains. Practically shouts at Heather not to enter the cabin and when she disappears he shakes his head and says he told her not to. He does this very seriously

• He smiles again when the credits are over and pretends he wasn’t scared (unless it’ll get attention from you) but he avoids the forest for a while because he’s well aware those terrors truly exist. He just doesn’t tell you that.

[cuffmeinblack]

The experiment

Sebastian Sallow x Ominis Gaunt

Tags: explicit | first kiss | handjobs | admission of feelings

1.7k words

Summary: Ominis admits he isn't sure whether he has a sexual preference given his woeful inexperience. Sebastian offers to be his guinea pig.

A/n: Smut, with feelings.

Ominis sat next to Sebastian in the library, trying to think of a way to start his essay—Dittany and its uses. It should be fairly straightforward, but the room was full of distractions, and Scribner was nowhere to be found. Sebastian had taken to making a rolling commentary on every girl that walked past, much to Ominis' annoyance. He knew that they found Sebastian attractive, as demonstrated by the group of girls who giggled in his direction as Sebastian nudged Ominis hard in the arm. He'd spent the first half of their final year at Hogwarts growing increasingly irritated at the intrusions.

"You need to get out there more, Ominis. Is there anyone you fancy?" Sebastian muttered.

"Not really," Ominis said, idly twirling his quill in his hand.

"How does it work…you know…," Sebastian started.

"I have other senses as well, you know," Ominis interrupted.

"I know that, I'm asking if you prefer girls or boys," Sebastian said, his bluntness catching Ominis off-guard.

Sebastian was obviously more perceptive that he gave him credit for, and Ominis wasn't sure how to answer him.

"I suppose I'm more drawn to female voices, and they smell good, too," Ominis pondered.

Not entirely a lie. Except, Sebastian's voice was pleasant enough, especially when he was intentionally turning on his charm, of which he had in excess. And of course Ominis couldn't complain of the smell of his friend's hair when he leaned in to whisper some humorous remark or devilish jibe in his ear. He couldn't deny his fierce affection for his friend, or the jealous pangs in his stomach he felt whenever Sebastian flirted with a girl, he had simply chosen to ignore them—he was just lonely, scared of losing his friend.

"That they do," Sebastian agreed.

Ominis sighed. "I suppose I wouldn't know until I tried is my truthful answer."

A silence stretched between them as Ominis regretted his answer, doing his best to stop his cheeks from burning by nervously fiddling with his tie. He'd had it wrong, Sebastian simply wanted to believe they were the same, when it came to the most basic of urges. Of course they weren't.

"Do you want to?" Sebastian said finally in a quiet, almost subdued voice, completely rid of the cocky assuredness it usually held.

"Do I want to what?" Ominis asked, frowning.

"Try." 

His reply was almost a whisper. Struck dumb, Ominis' mouth hung open as he stammered and tried to form a coherent sentence in reply. 

"What are you talking about Sebastian?"

"I…never mind."

"Was that a genuine offer?"

"Yes."

The thought utterly terrified him, not only because of his woeful inexperience in such matters but because it was Sebastian—his best friend, his confidante. What if he hated the experience, would it make their interactions awkward? What if he did, in fact, enjoy it—that almost felt like a worse prospect, the thought of being sexually attracted to his friend who had only offered out of…what, charity?

He didn't have much time to dwell on the matter as he found himself being dragged across the library by Sebastian's hand around his wrist. He hadn't expected the forcefulness from his friend, who pulled him into a quiet corner, the chatter from the main library left behind. Ominis' heart beat rapidly and painfully in his chest as he felt Sebastian move closer to him, his breath on his face and hands brushing his forearms. Sebastian seemed to be reconsidering the idea as they stood in silence until Ominis drew a sharp breath, which seemed to spur him into action.

Sebastian pressed his mouth to his, their bodies both still, considering the development and waiting for a reaction. Ominis was frankly terrified, though the feeling of Sebastian's soft lower lip between his own stirred something deep inside him and he willed himself to move, parting his own lips to deepen the kiss. Sebastian seemed to think this was enough of a reaction as he tilted his head and pressed his body against Ominis', taking what little breath remained in his lungs away. Ominis gasped and parted his lips eagerly, anticipating Sebastian's tongue which delved into his mouth and found his own.

Ominis had expected his first kiss to be a gentle and awkward encounter, but this was frenetic and intense, as if they'd been waiting for this moment for years. If Ominis were truthful to himself, he had—and the reasons for the late nights where he found himself thinking of his best friend's face nuzzled against his neck became painfully obvious. 

They were now so entangled that he could feel Sebastian's hip bones pressing into him as Ominis gripped his waist tightly, Sebastian's hands tangled in Ominis' hair. Their breathing was erratic and Ominis found it hard to remain silent and keep his ears open to any noise from wandering students. He lost his control once he felt Sebastian's hips push against him, his own arousal so painfully clear. Ominis let out a quiet moan at the friction and Sebastian became completely still then started pulling away, his hands quickly untangling themselves from his hair.

Ominis had no idea what to say or do, so simply stood there and waited for Sebastian to say something. But he never did, only turned and left without another word, leaving Ominis standing against the cold wall, dishevelled, aroused and confused.

-

Sebastian wasn't in Charms, in fact Ominis didn't see him at all for the rest of the day. He wasn't even at dinner, and Ominis picked at his food for a while before giving up and retiring to the common room. He asked a few of his classmates about Sebastian's whereabouts but nobody seemed to know where he was. Ominis thought he knew where he would be, but clearly Sebastian was avoiding him, and he wasn't sure what would be achieved by ambushing him. Ominis needed to think carefully about what to say—should he apologise? Put it down to being inexperienced and touch-starved? It hadn't been a feeling he could control, after all. 

Sebastian's own actions were confusing enough—he had been the one to suggest it, initiate it, and his kisses were eager. Ominis had no basis for comparison, but he was pretty sure that Sebastian had enjoyed it, too. Ominis tried to distract himself by reading but the pursuit seemed entirely hopeless. He retreated to the dormitory, deciding to get an early night.

His roommates filed in over the coming hours as Ominis lay in bed, thinking, fidgeting, and waiting. Sebastian was the last to enter the room just before curfew, Ominis recognising his familiar footfalls and the scent of his skin.

"Are you just going to ignore me for the rest of our lives, Sebastian?" he said. 

The hours of rumination had turned his thoughts angry and bitter. Sebastian stopped his approach towards his bed and Ominis noticed his roommate's chatter die down. They must be used to the two friends' bickering but Ominis rarely used such a tone. Sebastian walked towards Ominis, who was sitting on top of his bedsheets in his pyjamas, books strewn over the mattress. Ominis felt the dip in the bed as Sebastian's weight fell next to him, heard the curtains around his bed draw shut and a loud sigh and a muttered silencing charm.

"I'm not apologising, Sebastian. You started it. I can't help it if I…" Ominis trailed off, losing some of his confidence.

"What? Why would you apologise?" Sebastian asked.

Ominis frowned. He thought that was fairly obvious.

"For becoming…," Ominis breathed deeply, trying to force the words out. "Aroused."

"Merlin's beard, Ominis. So was I, that's why I left," Sebastian muttered.

"So what does that mean?" Ominis said, his head swimming.

"I don't know, I suppose that the experiment was a success?" Sebastian laughed weakly.

"I suppose it was," Ominis said nervously.

"Well I'm in your bed now, so…," Sebastian said, pushing Ominis back against the headboard and straddling his lap.

Ominis knew what to expect this time and chose to lose himself in the moment instead of worrying if the silencing charm would hold. He moaned into Sebastian's mouth as he hummed appreciatively. Ominis' buttons were swiftly undone, Sebastian's hands finding their way to his chest and gliding across his taut stomach. 

"I've wanted this for so long," Sebastian muttered as his mouth found Ominis' neck, kissing and sucking his skin gently. Ominis found it so much more exciting than his fantasies. Sebastian's top was thrown to the end of the bed and Ominis felt his way around his torso. He had imagined Sebastian's body to be similar to his but he was broader as well as taller, with more muscle on his frame. He traced the hardness of his abdominal muscles down, stopping tentatively at his waistband. Sebastian ceased his exploration of his neck and rest his forehead against his temple, breathing heavily against his cheek, taking Ominis' hand gently and placing it on his erection.

"Touch me, Ominis, please," he whispered.

Ominis felt fear bubble up inside him—he'd only learned how to pleasure himself, what if Sebastian liked different things? What if he was disappointed? He ran his thumb over the head of his cock, glistening with precum, and ran his hand down the shaft, taking him in his hand firmly and starting a steady rhythm. Sebastian's fingers curled into his hair as his mouth returned to Ominis', planting slow and deep kisses on his lips and moaning altogether too loudly. Apparently Ominis did know how to pleasure him.

Sebastian sensed Ominis' own growing frustration and increasingly urgent thrusts of his hips and his hands dropped to pull down his pyjama trousers. As he took Ominis' erection in his hand, he shouted an expletive and whimpered as Sebastian stroked him gently. As their orgasms built, Ominis could feel Sebastian's hand becoming shaky as their tempos matched.

"I'm going to…," Ominis gasped into Sebastian's mouth.

Sebastian groaned as he finished, thrusting into Ominis' hand, his cum spilling over his fingers. Ominis felt his orgasm explode just afterward, his arms shaking and legs numb from Sebastian's weight on his thighs. They'd made an awful mess, but they didn't much care, instead brushing their lips against each other and gasping until their breathing steadied.

"Merlin, you're beautiful, Ominis," Sebastian whispered. 

Ominis smiled and wondered how they'd waited seven years for this.

[mmikmmik]

I like that all of Siffrin’s possible wishes are impossible for him to experience while stuck in the time loops. Both on a surface level of what he’s literally wishing for (meeting Nille, going new places, etc) and on a deeper level (seeing Mirabelle continue to change, etc). It’s not just that he wants to be with the party, it’s that he wants to keep moving forward with the party and have a future together.

By Act 5, Siffrin has become deeply convinced that “moving forward” and “being together” are mutually exclusive, to the point that he’s not only given up on his wish, but is terrified to think about or admit it.

Obviously he wasn’t originally stuck in that mindset, or he wouldn’t have been able to make the wish in the first place. I think Act 3 is largely the journey towards Siffrin getting mentally locked up, so that he’s no longer able to act on what he learns about Wish Craft in Act 4. They confront their past in a deeply traumatic way, interpreted largely through the viewpoint of the man who is The Worst At Coping Anyone Has Ever Been. He tries to find a better way to cope with losing his homeland and his family and his past, but he tries to share that with the King and it backfires in the worst way imaginable. They bond with their friends and become family, but then lose it and are devastated and let down that it didn’t help. Healthy ideas like “try something new” or “think about moving on” or “try to have a positive bonding experience with your loved ones” keep backfiring, and the loops become both an awful nightmare prison and (in Siffrin's mind) the only possible source of security and companionship.

I think if Sif had somehow confronted his wish early in Act 3, he might have been able to cope with it and make some progress. But I’m not sure even Loop could have explained it. Definitely some of the questions Loop raises are for Siffrin’s benefit, but I got the sense Loop had never fully understood how their own wish had trapped them, and Loopquest was them genuinely learning new things about what triggered the loops. Maybe they didn’t even remember what their own wish was, by the time they started investigating Wish Craft and/or were considering making a new wish when they were still Siffrin - it was so much longer ago for them. That may have been addressed in the game and I'm just forgetting.

[5eraphim]

Would you ever write something about Scout as a rabbit hybrid thingy? This question was inspired from your “Puppy Eyes” fic that I’m in love with

In my head writing this, Scout is meant to be a hybrid, but still goes through transformations cycles like a werewolf would, and isn't exactly in a fully human form when not a werewolf.

Rating: M (MINORS DNI, GO PLAY OUTSIDE)

Content Warnings: rabbit hybrid, yandere, exophilia, taboo fantasies/roleplay (CNC, cop/prisoner, cop/serial killer, incest, abuse of power, revenge sex), reader is kept gender neutral

MASTER LIST

TIP JAR

Highly prone to "puppy love," which makes him feel paradoxical guilt for lusting after you so intensely, and he genuinely struggles to work up the courage to ask you out. Partly because, despite his narcissistic personality, the idea of getting rejected terrifies him more than anything imaginable, and he can't help but choke up in the moment.

Because of this, he'll be looking for any excuse to get his hands on you as soon as you give them the green light. The brutal truth here is for your first week or so of hooking up, Scout is horny out of his mind but, unfortunately, unperceptive of your needs. Scout has too much pent-up frustration to give much pleasure on your behalf and can't stop bursting pretty early. It's a learning curve for both of you to get this right, but he's eager to please. (Once he can figure out how, that is.) He's got to do a lot of learning on the fly here because even if it's evident to you that he's pretty out of his league, he refuses to admit it.

He thinks it's cute that you assumed he would be 100% sub, someone you could order around and easily control, but Scout's pretty versatile and prioritizes variety above all else. (Blame his hyper-active imagination for this, as well as a shameful amount of time jerking off and daydreaming about sleeping with you.)

Unsurprisingly, Scout is extraordinarily needy behind closed doors. (He's a very hands-on person in public, too, but there's more desperation when other people aren't watching.) Scout is prone to nightmares about losing you if the two of you are apart for too long.

Gets embarrassingly aroused when you wear anything with a bunny logo on it. The Playboy logo is like crack to him.

When he goes fully cum-brained he'll have some of the most deranged taboo fantasies of the two of you, often gross, or sometimes just flat out weird.

You're a rookie detective agent given the assignment of a lifetime set to assist in the investigation of a serial killer targeting citizens like you alone at night in your hometown. Because you're so new and don't have much experience in the field, you try to catch him all by yourself and are given a grim reality check.

You're a prisoner, and he's a cop in charge of supervising your cell. You were put in solitary confinement for bad behavior, failure to follow the rules, and fighting with other prisoners. You're too far away from the others to call for help, and Scout knows that. At the end of the day, it'll be his word against yours. 

The two of you are step-siblings sharing a bedroom with overprotective parents. He's muffling you with his sweaty palm while using his other hand to keep your thighs apart while he thrusts inside.

He's a jilted lover who's holding you hostage, determined to babytrap you so you'll never have the option of abandoning him freely ever again.

Scout gets really nippy when he first transforms. No matter how many times he goes through all this, the rabbit teeth will hurt when they grow back in, and he goes through a semi-second mini-teething phase to get used to them. They usually won't hurt so long as you don't try to resist too much.

The transformation cycle fucks with his brain chemistry and hormones like crazy. Unfortunately, the main reason behind his intense neediness and proclivity for jealousy is due to factors largely out of his control. 

Related to the insane sexual fantasies he has for you, expect Scout to ask you some strange questions about the relationship, such as,

Would you be mad at me forever if I killed both your parents?

Would you still wanna date me if you found out we were cousins?

Would the two of us have been friends as kids? 

Is there any chance we would've dated in high school?

Would you still want to be in a relationship with me if you were the monster and I were the human?

The very first transformation of his into a rabbit as your partner would be the most painful and intense one of his entire life. At last he finally has met his own mate, someone to help keep his bed warm at night, to protect with his life, and to Scout you are synonymous with the future in life itself. But still, he was scared to death thinking about laying a hand on you in such a state. Despite what you might expect, he would put you and your safety first, at least for the first two or three months. His horniness simply cannot entirely surmount the hypothetical guilt of accidentally killing you or ruining his chance to get intimate in the future.