#I like to think he starts getting more mentally feral when hes mad but he notices it happening and gets so scared he stops being angry

[bunnieswithknives]

RAHHHh ok comics done I can post this now!!! He is having the worst possible time

[luvwestwood]

"AFK" - Choso Kamo (with twt links)

"..like fortnite, i’ma need your skin.."

3,012 words.

warnings. nsfw(18+), bf/gamer! choso, oral sex (m rec.), humiliation, desk sex, exhibitionism, trying not to get caught, feral choso, p in v, throat fucking, oral sex (m receiving), overstimulation, degradation, choso whimper links included lol,

notes. my previous drabble abt choso had a lil kick to it, definitely had to make it into a full one-shot! hope u guys enjoy, and thank u for 450 followers hehe, so I included twt links! ^^

credits to @/plutism for dividers, @/adrienwithane for banner.

russian translation by @juliabelll ❤️

Not too long ago, it was Choso's birthday. Being an amazing girlfriend you are, of course you built him a brand new PC. It cost you an arm and a leg, but that didn't matter at all when it came to Choso. Seeing him happy itched a part of your brain, especially when he was the one who would pay for everything: dates, your online shopping carts, you name it.

He never really bought anything for himself. You were getting tired of the countless times that he went on a tangent about how slow his previous machine was. It was doing your head in, so you saved up. For what you now call a 'not-blessing-in-disguise'.

Choso was obsessed with his new PC, and it wasn’t an exaggeration. Part of you was starting to regret it all. The man barely paid attention to you.

Am I the asshole for being mad that my boyfriend likes his gift a bit too much? No, I wouldn't think so. I should be delighted, but it's pretty much getting outrageous.

The fact that he has almost every single game out there on that PC in just a span of one week since he got it - means there's more for him to do. Every day, he'd wake up, do a bit of house stuff then sit his ass down to play with his friends. For as long as he can. Never leaving that room. Hell, he wouldn't even bother answering your messages until an hour later. 'Mb, was on the game' is something that was engraved in your brain by now.

Every time you'd come over, he'd ignore you simply by just gluing his eyes on the screen. If you try to nap, just go home. You've lost track of how many times he's managed to wake you up with his blood-curdling screams. There were times when Choso didn't even notice you leaving, which upset you quite a bit.

Of course, you had moments when you needed him the most. Like, badly. Freshly shaved, he's not even mentally there to take a peek. You could be naked and oiled up in his bed, Choso wouldn't even bat an eye.

…Advice to self, don't get him a PS5 this Christmas.

"Choso," You called out, sat on the edge of the bed behind him. No answer. Per usual, you wanted to rip that headset off his head.

Dark circles were forming around his eyes, endless cans of monster were scattered all over his desk. "Nah let's just fight Oscar, we've got a minute until the circle closes."

Rolling your eyes, a scoff escapes your mouth. Aaand he didn't hear you. Crossing your arms, you furrow your brows. He was honestly testing your patience. "Choso?!"

Choso flinches a bit, pulling one side of his headset away from his ear. His gaming chair spins around to face you. "Baby?"

He knew you were mad. You looked more than pissed. It was really because this recurring behavior of his was getting too much. "Your eyes are always on that screen! Did you even know that I was here!?”

“I-I’m sorry. Look, I'll get off after this game!” From his headset you could hear Choso’s friends teasing and picking on him. They probably heard you scolding your poor boyfriend. You couldn’t care less.

As soon as you were about to speak, he immediately spun his chair back around to face that stupid monitor again. He was too engrossed in the game. It was his squad of four against the only opposing team.

Groaning, you flop back onto his mattress. "..You always say that, and you never do." Muttering under your breath, you stare at the ceiling blankly. What felt like a hammer to your head, Choso's war cries could only get louder each second.

The past few days, you had no choice but to use your own fingers to toy with yourself. You were needy, and you missed your boyfriend's touch. Too bad he was too occupied. How come his keyboard and mouse get to be touched by him more than your....

Using all of your strength, you sat yourself up again on the edge of his mattress. Realizing there's no use in scolding him, you quietly walked up behind Choso, combing your fingers through his hair. You loved when it was down, and he loved it when you played with his hair. He found it relaxing. You could tell by the way his body was no longer tensed up, the back of his head falling heavy onto your hand.

Your hands left his hair, travelling down to his nape. With your freshly manicured nails (which he paid for), you gently scratched his skin on his neck. You could see goosebumps forming, but said nothing about it. Choso who was ticklish, tilted his head to the side - "Mmm," He hummed, telling you off as you were starting to distract him.

Letting out a laboured sigh, you stared at the back of his head. Wondering what to do with him, you pouted. Maybe I should just leave like every other day? No, I can't back down.

He seems really busy. Would he even notice if I crawled under his desk? Grinning, you got on your knees, crawling like a kitty underneath his desk but making minimal noise. You glanced behind your shoulder to see his reaction, but his eyes were still gawking at the flashing screen in front of him.

Coming face to face with his sweats, you kneeled, just in level with his lap. Peeking your head out from the shadows under his desk, Choso had only noticed you then. His eyes widened, the sight of you looking up at him like a puppy had started to cloud up his thoughts.

Grabbing onto his wrist, he slowly let go of his mouse. Bringing his hand to your cheek, he took it in the palm of his hand, eventually giving in and using his thumb to softly caress your lips. "..I missed you, Choso.." You whispered, softly sucking on his thumb. "..I need you,"

His breath hitched, your words were doing something to him. What a fool he was for ignoring you all this time? Just then, a cacophony of voices screaming through his headset broke him out of his trance. Choso's warm hand left your face, causing you to frown. Your fun was cut short. Way too short.

You had enough, deciding it was time you finally got what you wanted. Snaking your two hands up the soft cotton of his sweats, they stopped right at his crotch. His eyes anxiously shot down to you underneath him, telling you off and pointing to his headset.

Placing a finger onto your lips, you told him to just be quiet. His eyes frantically flickered from you, then to his monitor. Slowly, you slid down his pants. Smiling at the way he rose himself up from his seat slightly, so it would be easier to take them off. Of course, he wasn't wearing anything underneath.

Taking his long, thick cock into your hands, you jerked it ever so slightly. Choso cleared his throat, keeping his mouth shut all of a sudden in case he accidentally makes unwanted noise. He was practically melting under your touch, into the chair. Gliding your tongue over his pink tip, he didn't dare look at you. Not long after, your warm mouth wrapped over him, Choso letting out a sigh of relief at the feeling.

You knew how to push his buttons, bringing yourself to fully deepthroat his cock for a few seconds. His lips purse shut, Choso slightly biting down onto his bottom lip. His fingers started to press on the wrong keys, unable to focus on the game.

Pulling away, a string of saliva connected your tongue and his aching tip. You brought your lips back onto his cock, bobbing your head and hollowing your cheeks as you used your two hands to jerk him off at the same time.

The man above was folding at the pornographic sight underneath him. Hearing Choso moan by accident, he quickly covered it up with a cough. “…Yeah, no, I’m good- Just don’t- feel well..”Friends concerned, Choso had come up with a convincing lie in just seconds. His hand reached down to rake through your hair until his fist was full of it. [link]

He lightly pushed your head up and down his length, your mouth making sloppy noises all over, buckets of spit dripping down your chin and his balls.

Ripping his headset off, Choso didn't care about the game anymore. Or his friends. He groaned as you fondled with his balls, giving them a suck afterwards. His light grey pants were turning a darker shade than before. His two hands clawed into your hair on both sides of your face, Choso started to fuck his cock into the back your throat.

Moaning, his eyes shut tightly as his head fell back onto the cushion of his chair. His balls tightening as he heard how you constantly gagged over his thick cock. "Fuck.. Just like that.."

His moans were a mixture of curses and long groans, tears started to well up in your eyes. Choso opened his eyes again, looking down at you as he drew your mouth away from his cock. He smiled, seeing your makeup all ruined, your face covered with spit and so did his lap.

Rolling his chair away from the desk, he grabbed you from underneath. Only to pull it back again, placing it in front of his PC. Guiding his hand on your back, he bent you over on the chair, making your two legs kneel on the soft cushion so you wouldn't tire out. [link]

Holding tightly onto your hair, your head fell back towards him. Choso had ripped the fabric of your leggings that was unfortunately covering your cunt. Grabbing his cock, he lined himself up with your hole, his hands shaking from how eager he was.

Easily sliding in from the slick that covered your hole, you grabbed onto the arm rest in front of you; Choso stretching you out completely. Wasting no time, he began to move his hips back and forth, fucking his hard cock into you.

His monitor started to gently shake from how hard his cock was bullying into you, skin slapping as his balls that were full of weeks load cum made contact with your clit.

"C-Choso.." You cried out, your hand reaching back to his pelvis. Staring at yourself getting fucked like a slut through the reflection of his PC monitor, your ass rippled with each and every one of his thrusts.

Maintaining his brutal pace, his fingers were no longer woven into your hair, reaching out to the headset on his desk. Confused, you kept your eyes open to watch Choso place them over your head. "W-What..?"

His hands gripped onto the flesh of your hips, Choso leaned into your ear. "Keep moaning you slut, let them hear you." All of a sudden he groaned, feeling you clench around him at what he just said. "You like that, don't you?"

Spinning you slightly to one side, his leg went up onto the chair with you, allowing him more leverage to fuck you deeper. "Eyes up at that camera too, show them how pretty you look taking my cock," Tears started to stream down the sides of your cheeks, your face had flushed red.

Choso's hands took a hold of your hair again, his tip kissing your cervix repeatedly. "I.." Speechless, you lost your ability to form a basic sentence. His fat cock left you braindead, at this point you were seeing nothing but stars.

"..Use your words baby," A creamy white ring started to form at his base as his cock pistoned in and out of you. Choso's hand kept stamping down on your back from time to time to make sure you kept that arch. "..Isn't this what you've been wanting all week?"

"Y-you're so deep.. I can't.." Your hand reached back to his abs, twisting the white fabric of his tank top until it was all wrinkly. He took a hold of your wrist, twisting your arm behind you. Choso slightly bent over, his warm body resting against your back.

He quietly groaned into your ear, chanting your name like a prayer. You were fucked out of your mind. "You feel so good.. like this pussy was made for me." The pace of his thrusts slowed down, but his hips still rut into you hard each time. His strokes hard and deep, you swear could feel him all up in your guts. Your jaw had dropped, your head falling back onto his shoulder.

Choso's hands reached under your loose shirt, letting your tits spill out of your bra. Gently twisting your nipple between his finger tips, fondling with your whole breast afterwards, he forgot how much he loved wrapping his mouth around those.

"Your cock.. It feels so good.." You babbled, Choso sneaking his fingers underneath to rub lazy circles on your clit. Your legs began to tremble, fortunately your throat managed to choke out a whine.

Also seeing him in the reflection of his monitor, strands of his hair started to stick to his face. Multiple beads of sweat had formed on his forehead. Choso didn't want to leave your pussy. Not even Thor could pull him out. He enjoyed using you like a cock whore.

You felt so dizzy, mind full of his cock. Choso let out multiple whimpers as he felt his orgasm nearing, his index finger hooking onto the side of your mouth. The very last few seconds, his cock bottomed into you, trying to chase your orgasm. The desk hitting against he wall non-stop, his headset that was on you started to fall off your head.

Leaving a trail of wet kisses down your back, his hand grabbed onto the plush flesh of your ass, continuously giving it a spank every now and then.

The wet, slapping noises of your skin continued to follow, until you felt his thrusts come to a sudden halt. His hot cum shooting inside of you rope after rope, just before he pulled out to let the rest out onto your ass. "..Fuck.. look at that."

Using his thumb to spread your hole wide open, his load spilt onto the black leather of his gaming chair. You panted, tired and hole throbbing. You got what you wanted, that’s for sure. Forcing his headset off you, you couldn't do anything but lean against his desk, trying to regulate your breathing pattern back to normal.

"..We're not done here," Choso laughed behind you, your cunt still dripping of his thick load. His hands roughly turned your body around, placing you on top the desk to face him. Using his foot to push the chair away, he lined his cock with your hole again, using his cum that was already inside of you as lube.

"Oh m-my- Choso!" You yelped, one hand taking grip onto his shoulder for support, the other holding knocking his keyboard out of the way, trying to find something to hold onto other than his shoulder.

His forehead rested against yours, the staggering movement of his hips causing the desk itself to shake under the two of you. Choso watched as his cock disappeared in and out of your hole, grunts coming out through his clench teeth as he wrapped his large hands around your thighs. He wanted more, and wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

"..Good girl," He gritted through his teeth, "..I love t-this pussy, and you." Choso's hands pressed flat against the desk, his lips locking onto yours. His cock was coated in a mixture of his and your own cum, your sweaty bodies intimately hugging against each other.

Choso wanted to feel all you, he just craved more and more each minute. His hands shakily held onto the sides of your waist, his lips moving to your jaw to plant more kisses.

"You're so beautiful, look at me baby." Choso lightly tapped the side of your face, telling you to maintain eye contact.

Obeying, you kept your eyes open; looking into his but not a thought behind your own eyes. You only continued to whine under his touch, overstimulated from how much he's used you like a cock whore. You were so close to losing your mind, drunk off his cock.

Choso too, was lost in your pussy. God, was he whipped— If only he could stay inside you forever, he definitely would. This whole time he was busy cursing at himself, how much of an idiot he is to not appreciate what he has - you. Your cheeks were stained with your hot tears, Choso hushing you and wiping them away every now and then.

“S-Shit, I’m gonna cum again.” He pants, feeling his balls tighten for the second time, the tightness of your pussy heightening his stimulation.

Your hands cupped both of his cheeks, pulling him in for a kiss. His thrusts turning sloppy, you cooed. “..Cum for me, I want it all inside..”

This caused the coil inside of Choso to snap, him desperately whimpering into your ear as he hid his face in the crook of your neck. “F-fu-ck..” Tightly holding onto the flesh of your hips, he made sure his second load stayed inside of you.

Sliding his cock out, Choso rested his heavy cock just above your pussy. Making sure he planted a peck on your forehead, trying to catch his breath. The two of you laugh, your bodies aching and sweaty, his entire desk and chair a mess.

Reaching for something, you blinked as Choso grabbed his headset that ended up on the other side of the desk. Placing one side against his ear, he spoke into the mic. "..GG."

⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⤳ © luvwestwood ‘24 all works are owned by me, and originally come from my own head. please do not re-post on a third party platform without my permission!

⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⤳ as always, thank you for the love on each and every one of my posts! it means the world to me 🎀🩷

[luvwestwood masterlist]

[misguidedasgardian]

Wild Cats (Part XIII)

XIII. The promised land

MASTERLIST

Summary: The light at the end of the tunnel… you don’t know if that is good or bad 

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Zombie apocalypse AU, living dead, zombies, guts, blood, guns, injures, cannibalism, mentions of rape, might miss some warnings 

+18, MINORS DNI

Notes: I was planning on rewatching (I’m on season 6), to write this, but like I said, I want to separate a bit from this, so… I’m narrating with a bit of mistakes, but, since I got three more people playing here that weren’t here before (Tyresse, Beth and Reader), things are bound to be different, right?.

This was surreal

You were on the way to a community that had walls, 800.000 dollar houses on it, running water, facilities, dance groups, families, you name it.

After being on the road for months, after executing a man that was trying to rape Carl and then another who was going to beat up Daryl to death, after being offered Sanctuary only to be a trap set by literal living cannibals, only to be throw back in the wild, making your group turn completely feral you believed

(the turning point being when you ate those dogs)

If this was another trap, you didn’t think you’d survive it.

You were so tired, not only physically, but also mentally, your brain had gone into survival mode too many times already that you were exhausted, a type of exhaustion that didn’t went away with a good night's sleep.

And now it was worse, not because you wanted to prove yourself for the team, but because now you cared so much for them that you were terribly stressed not only for yourself but for Daryl, Judith, Carl, Rick, and all the others.

But if this was real…

Gods please let it be real

You needed this, you deserve it

Well, did you?

You felt a light squeeze on your shoulder, you looked up at Carl, who smiled at you

“We are going to be fine”, you chuckled, ruffling his hair and wrapping an arm around him

“I should be the one telling YOU that, little dude”, you said with a soft smile

“Why do you always walk behind the group?”, he asked softly when you released him, you realized you didn’t quite have a good chat with Carl since the first days of you meeting him

“Well…”, you started, “It’s a position from where I can assist if someone needs me, and have a complete view of what is happening…”, he only hummed, “I can make sure nobody is left behind…”

“Well except you”, he said

“Right”, you conceded, “also from there I can…”

“Take care of everybody”, he said, you only nodded

You were concerned, to say the least, when things seemed too good to be true, they probably were, they probably were a lie, and you were betting your lives on this one

Well, you weren’t gonna last anyways if you kept going out there in the wild, and you had two kids to think about, so, for Judith and Carl was worth to try…. But Rick… was a bit mad… 

itw as understandable, after everything that happened, whatever you felt he felt it ten times more, as he had kids, and he was the ringleader, the one that made decisions 

So yeah, you could understand him… how he reacted when you met the man who was going to take you to Alexandria. 

Maggie and you had to coerce Daryl to get a good sleep after spending most hours of the night fighting against the strength of walkers and a storm, and then he stood watch for the lot of you to sleep

You stood on each side of the archer until he leaned into you and sneaked a couple of hours of sleep, Maggie smiled at you, nodding and leaving the two of you, you cuddled him against you, under your arm as he had done, and once he had closed his eyes, you took the liberty of actually, caressing his hair softly, lulling him to sleep

“I’ll keep watch for a couple of hours”, you promised, him only humming in response.

This is the second time he slept this close to you, and he realized, he never slept more comfortable since this shit show started.

He was the hunter and main protector of the group, and he deserved his rest more than anybody. Maggie looked at you and nodded, and accompanied Sasha outside of the barn, to see what was going on out there.

You catched Rick staring at the both of you, and you shared looks, he only smiled at you, it was a smirk more like it, he barely nodded at you, like giving you permission. And with a subtle smile he took Judith from Carl and cradled her against his chest.

You felt his calm breath on the side of your face, and you thought about how nice it felt, how nice he was. How much you liked him

You barely knew him, but at the same time, you felt like you knew him for forever, how he accepted you and took you in, how he always made sure you were alright, trough being a bit mean, and frustrated, but Maggie was right, he cared for you… his soft demeanor of the past days, his pretty eyes… and you wondered if you could ever… if he would… if he would like you as much as you liked him…

Your thoughts were interrupted, when Maggie entered the barn back

“Hey guys…”, she said, Daryl stirred awake. Behind Maggie came a man you didn’t know, “This is Aaron, we met him outside…”, in a second, everybody was standing to attention, and guns were being unlocked. Daryl grabbed his crossbow and pointed right at the unknown man. “He’s by himself, we took his weapons and we took his gear”

“Hi!”, he greeted. “It’s nice to meet you”, he was weirdly clean, he looked like he was out here for a trekking experience in a easy path, not in the middle of the apocalypse

“You said he had a weapon?”, asked Rick, Maggie passed him his gun, he checked the ammo on it and then he looked up at him, “There’s something you need?”

The group became hostile towards this guy, he looked all too well kept and you didn’t buy it either, that he was alone, this might be a trap

“He had a camp nearby”, said Sasha, the look in her eyes told you he wasn’t buying it either, “he wants us to audition for a membership”

“I wish there was another word”, he said, raising his hands, proving he meant no harm, “Audition makes it seem like we are a dance group, that is only friday nights”, he was terribly nervous, perhaps because all of the guns pointed at him at the moment, “and it’s not a camp, it’s a community”, you looked at Rick, who did not seemed impressed, “... i think you all would make valuable additions, but it’s not my call, my job its to convince you all to follow me home”, he saw the faces of the group, you were not buying it, and Rick seemed positively rabid with the look he had going on 

You were all weary of this stranger, sharing concerned looks amongst yourselves, he was weirdly calm, like he was some sort of messiah 

“I know, if I were you, I wouldn’t go either…”, he explained softly, he seemed weirdly nice, if anything, “Not until I knew exactly what I was getting into. Sasha, can you hand Rick my pack? Front pocket, there's an envelope”, Sasha weirdly did as he told her, “There's no way I could convince you to come with me just by talking about our community. That's why I brought those. I apologize in advance for the picture quality. We just found an old camera store last…”

“Nobody gives a shit”, interrupted Daryl

“ You're absolutely 100% right. That's the first picture I wanted to show you because nothing I say about our community will matter unless you know you'll be safe. If you join us, you will be. Each panel in that wall is a 15-foot-high, 12-foot-wide slab of solid steel framed by cold-rolled steel beams and square tubing. Nothing alive or dead gets through that without our say-so…. Like I said, security is obviously important. In fact, there's only one resource more critical to our community's survival. The people. Together we're strong. You can make us even stronger. The next picture, you'll see inside the gates. Our community was first construc…”, Rick had walked over to him and punched him in the face so hard he left him on the ground 

“So we're clear, that look wasn't a "let's attack that man" look. It was a "he seems like an okay guy to me" look”, protected Michonne

“This wasn't a very good start”, you muttered, watching him 

“We got to secure him. Dump his pack. Let's see what this guy really is”, commanded Rick, Daryl took his pack and turn it over into the ground, many items fell out

“Everybody else, we need eyes in every direction, They're coming for us… We might not know how or when, but they are”, you didn’t know who he was talking about, but you took your gun out of your holster and walked to the back of the barn towards a small window to see outside 

“Me and Sasha, we didn't see him. If he had wanted to hurt us, he could've”, Maggie tried to explain, and you were glad you weren't the only one who thought Rick was taking things a bit… cray cray

“Anybody see anything?”, he asked, ignoring Maggie, and Michonne for that matter

“Just a lot of places to hide”, said Glenn, that, as Daryl was right there with Rick, checking the other glassless window of the barn

“All right, keep looking. What did you find?”, Rick asked Carl

“Never seen a gun like that before”

“It’s a flare gun”, he said back, the man who identified as Aaron groaned, waking up

“That's a hell of a right cross there, Rick”, he smiled, he actually smiled 

“Sit him up”, you walked towards the man

“You’ll have to forgive us”, you said more calmly, Rick looked back at you, “the last time someone offered us sanctuary, they tried to eat us”, Aaron frowned, not really getting the main gist of it.

“You're being cautious. I completely understand”, he said lightly, he was good at his job, if it was in fact recruiting people 

“How many of your people are out there? You have a flare gun. You have it to signal your people. How many of them are there?”, asked Rick

“Does it matter?”, you could tell he was getting frustrated 

“Yes. Yes, it does”

“I mean, of course, it matters how many people are actually out there, but does it matter how many people I tell you are out there? Because I'm pretty sure no matter what number I say... eight, 32, 444, zero... No matter what I say, you're not going to trust me”

“Well, it's hard to trust anyone who smiles after getting punched in the face”, said Sasha

“How about a guy who leaves bottles of water for you on the road?”, he tried then

“How long have you been following us?”, asked Daryl

“Long enough to see that you practically ignore a pack of roamers on your trail. Long enough to see that despite a lack of food and water, you never turned on each other. You're survivors and you're people. Like I said, and I hope you won't punch me for saying it again, that is the most important resource in the world”

“How many others are out there?”, asked Rick

“One”, Rick didn’t buy it, neither did you, “I knew you wouldn't believe me. If it's not words, if it's not pictures, what would it take to convince you that this is for real? What if I drove you to the community? All of you? We leave now, we'll get there by lunch”

“I'm not sure how the 18 of us are going to fit in the car you and your one friend drove down here in”

‘We drove separately. If we found a group, we wanted to be able to bring them all home. There's enough room for all of us”

“And you're parked just a couple miles away, right?”, asked Carol, who, as the rest, was not convinced.

“East on Ridge Road, just after you hit Route 16. We wanted to get them closer, but then the storm came, blocked the road. We couldn't clear it.”

“Yeah, you've really thought this through”

“Rick, if I wanted to ambush you, I'd do it here. You know, light the barn on fire while you slept, pick you off as you ran out the only exit. You can trust me”, it amde sense, what he said, but Rick, again wasn’t buying it, who were though, was Maggie, Sasha, Tyresse, and Michonne 

“I'll check out the cars”, Michonne said softly

“There aren't any cars!”, insisted Rick

“There's only one way to find out”, she said softly

“We don't need to find out”, he said, and your stomach growled on protest 

“We do… You know what you know and you're sure of it, but I'm not”, she said

“Me neither”, Rick then looked at you, and you nodded, accepting Maggie’s words 

“Your way is dangerous, mine isn't”, insisted Rick

“Passing up someplace where we can live? Where Judith can live? That's pretty dangerous. We need to find out what this is. We can handle ourselves. So that's what we're gonna do”, said Michonne 

“Then I will, too. I'll go”, said Glenn. Rick then seemed to see reason

“Abraham”, he called, the ginger understood inmediatly

“Yeah. I'll walk with them”, he said firmly

“Rosita?”, he asked then

“Okay”, she said softly

“If there's trouble, you got enough firepower?”, he asked Glenn 

“We got what we got”

“The walkies are out of juice. If you're not back in 60 minutes, we'll come. Which might be just what they want. If we're all in here, we're a target”. He insisted, as the selected group exited the barn to go to their mission

“I've got the area covered”, said Daryl heading out as well, you followed im closely 

“All right, groups of two, find somewhere safe within eyeshot”, Rick commanded as the rest of you followed you to take a lap around the barm. Tyresse and Beth stayed back, Noah, Carl and Carol went one way, youw ent with Daryl

“Was that necessary?”, you asked him, “the hostility?”, he turned towards you, he seemed on edge

“Remember what I told ya’ in Atlanta?”, you thought long and hard, and you nodded

“That I’m part of the family, and that I can’t go around trusting people”, you said softly

“That’s right”, he said, “so you tell me what’s goin’ on in ‘ere”

“He seems nice”, you reasoned

“Yeah, that knocked up lady from Terminus seem’ alright too!”, he said quickly, you chuckled

“I know we have been through hell, he just… seems nice, you now, there are still good people out there”, you said softly

“I know”

“What if you had pulled a gun on me?”, you asked, “or you would have liked Rick to do it to me?”

“He did”

“Well yeah”, you said with another chuckle, “but… you get what I mean…”

“Those in there”, he said, pointing at the barn, “are the only ones that matter”

“I agree”, you said softly, you grabbed onto his hand, “you and our group, is the best thing that has happened to me since this started”, you said convincingly, “and I will do anything in my power to take care of you, alright?”

“You don’t need to…”

“I know”, you said with a soft smile, “we are badasses”

“It’s badass”, he said, you looked at him, “we are badass”

“Alright”, you laughed, “eyes on the treeline”, you mocked, as you kept watching the surrounding of the barn.

You returned to the barn shortly after, after making sure there was nobody out there. 

“This, this is ours now”, said Rick, pointing at the little 

“There's more than enough. It's ours whether or not we go to your camp”

“What do you mean? Why wouldn't we go?”, asked Carl

“If he were lying or if he wanted to hurt us... but he isn't, and he doesn't. We need this. So we're going, all of us”, said Michonne

“Somebody say something if they feel differently”, said Rick, talking to all of the group 

“I don't know, man. This barn smells like horse shit”, said Daryl

“Yeah. We're going”, said Abraham

“So where are we going? Where's your camp?”, Rick looked at each and every one of you, and you all silently agreed, so he only nodded, turning to Aaron, who was grinning happily

“Well, every time I've done this, I've been behind the wheel driving recruits back. I believe you're good people. I've bet my life on it. I'm just not ready to bet my friends' lives just yet”, he explained softly

“You're not driving. So if you want to get home, you'll have to tell us how”, every step of the way was going to be a discussion, a struggle, you could already see that

“Go north on Route 16”, he said simply

“And then?”

“ I'll tell you when we get there”

“We'll take 23 north”, sometimes, Rick was a prick, “You'll give us directions from there”

“That's... I don't know how else to say it... That's a bad idea. We've cleared 16. It'll be faster”

“We'll take 23. We leave at sundown”, he sentenced 

“We're doing this at night?”, you asked, Michone got close to Rick again

“Look, I know it's dangerous. But it's better than riding up to the gates during the day”, insisted Michonne

“If it isn't safe, we need to get gone before they know we're there”, said Rick, and he had a point, but it only makes sense if you knew the area you were going, otherwise… you only had the element of surprise on your side.

“No one is going to hurt you. You're trying to protect your group, but you're putting them in danger”, said Aaron, he was not making himself any favors

You didn’t look the best, if anything, you look like mercenaries who had deserted their army, turn roge and forced to roam over in a dessert for the last months, and you had proven to be anything but friendly to this guy, and yet… he insisted, if I were him and saw us coming, I would have run in the opposite direction.

Was this a trap? a group sent this guy to make us fall in their trap, but why? to protect their territory? to eliminate possible threats? made sense. You caught Rick staring at you, and you realized you must have looked concerned. 

“Tell me where the camp is, we'll leave right now”, insisted Rick, but Aaron got quiet, he didn’t say anything, only looked down “It's going to be a long night Eat. Get some rest if you can”, he said to the group.

You felt cooped up in that barn, you wanted some fresh air, and Daryl was right, it did smell like shit in here, so you stepped out of the barn.

Michonne and Maggie followed you, surprisingly

“What are your thoughts on this?”, asked Michonne, and you cursed yourself, because your face was sometimes really transparent

“I don’t know”, you confessed, “I wanted to believe him, I do, but then… Why us? we look like shit, and we have treated him as such”

“He said it, he said he was watching”, said Maggie carefully

“Look, it adds up, but still…”, you said, “if it is a trap, I’m not sure we can fight it, we are so tired… dehydrated”

“Rick listens to you”, said Michonne, “we want to know what you think”

“I think it's worth the risk”, you assured them both, “because if it's real… it sounds pretty damn awesome”, they smiled, and left you alone.

You sat on a fallen tree, and looked at the beautiful day ahead of you, you took a deep breath, these moments, where you could actually take a breath and not smell the dead… were appreciated.

Nightfall came pretty quickly, and soon, you were walking towards a couple of cars, one of them was a big RV, the other… an old thing, cadillac maybe?

“Michonne, Glenn and I will drive with him”, said Rick, “you go on the RV”

“Where's your partner?”, you asked Aaron, he looked everywhere frantically, but there was nobody out there.

“He probably went back when you took the cars”, he said with a nervous smile, “let’s go”

They got in one car, you all entered the RV, Abraham drive, nobody fought it on it

You opened the emergency gate on the roof, and you managed to stand on what was supposed to be a kitchen table, to look ahead from above, and that way, see possible threats, you grabbed a rifle with a silencer and a telescope. You felt pretty cool, like some sort of sniper

You started the journey when it was already late, and the car was in front of you. As you took the road Rick had said you would, Abraham got a little behind them, as he should, keeping distance in case of an emergency, or if they hit the breaks for any reason 

“HEY!”, you slammed the roof, as the signal you had agreed and Abraham stopped. You saw a huge herd of walkers and the car in front of you crashing against them

“I saw it too!”, Abraham said, he turned the camper away and returned

“We need to go get them!”, fought Carol

“That is not what we agreed on!”, said Abraham, who had received clear instructions from Rick, you had his kids, so homemade sure they were going to get out of this safely

Abraham returned to an intersection, and took the road Aaron first told him to take, you were mounting guard again, as you took the new street, the night sky was lit up with a red light

“Who fired that?”, you asked, slapping the roof again

“It’s them!”, said Rosita, from inside. 

“We’re going!”, demanded Abraham, and the RV took speed down the road.

It was a small town, the bengal was set off by a water tank. From your oint of view, you saw a small herd of roamers, surrounding a car, they had definitely found something… or someone, from there, you took out a bunch of them, before Abraham hit the breaks and everyone got out, you jumped out of the RV, landing dangerously close to broke something, but you didn’t

A man was hiding under the car

“Help!”, he asked, once he saw the threat had been diminished pretty quickly, “I’m Eric, I’m with Aaron!”, you took out your ax, and took out the rest of them, as ROoita and Daryl helped you 

Maggie slipped in and help the man to get out of under the car

“I think I broke my ankle!”, he said. Like Aaron, he looked like he was just out on a hike near a fancy town, he looked clean, and well kept.

You helped him up, and towards an old supply store, where Maggie tended to him. Daryl waited outside for the rest of them. Eric had been the one to fire the flare, so, it was a matter of time until they saw it and came too.

Because they were sure to be back, soon

You kept Carl company, as he was terribly nervous, in an alley, waiting for Rick with Daryl and you, and soon, they came in, running down the street, on foot. 

Daryl whistled, and they whistled back, that is how you knew it was them. 

Aaron came running looking for Eric, you guessed he was his partner, and not only for this run. 

“Is everyone alright?”, asked Rick

“Yes”, said Maggie, “everything is fine”, it had been a good scare, but you were all fine, and that is what mattered. Aaron came out of the room where Eric was soon after

“Excuse me. Everyone”, he called your attention, he looked at you quickly, and nodded, “Thank you”, he said, “You saved Eric. I owe you. All of you. And I will make sure that debt is paid in full when we get to our community. When we get to Alexandria. Now, I'm not sure about you, but I'd rather not do any more driving tonight. Maybe we can hit the road tomorrow morning”

“That sounds fine, but if we're staying here for the night, you're sleeping over there”, demanded RIck, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes

“You really think we got to do that?”, asked Glenn

“It's a safe play. We don't know you”

“The only way you're gonna stop me from being with him right now is by shooting me”, said Aaron, you smiled. Glenn grabbed Rick, and whispered some things to him. 

“All right”, he said relented.

You didn’t realize how tired you were until everybody started to look for places to sleep for a couple of hours. You went to the second floor, the whole building was crappy, but from there, you could keep watch.

Daryl followed you

“It seems that if I want to sleep I need to be close to you”, he said, surprising you

The night was calm, a bit warm, and the skies were clear.

One of the best things about the apocalypse, if it was any, is that there was no more “pollution” of any kind, not light, or noise pollution. So you could see the stars

“I’m flattered”, you said softly

“You are a good lookout”

“I’m just trying to play my part”, you said softly, he stood by your side, in a kind of balcony, made of steel tubing, like emergency stairs from the old buildings of cities

“Yeah, me too”, he said, you felt his gaze on you, and you tried to look away

“This community…”, you started, “sounds great”

“Yeah”, he said, “if its real”

“I think it is”, you said surely, “and if it's not, we can keep going”, you assured him, “as long as we are together… we will be fine”, you really believed that

“I dunno why…”, he said slowly, “I keep coming back to ya”, you looked at him, Daryl was a man of short words, and despite it sounded a bit bad, he said it so gently, that you understood what he meant, you were drawn to him too, in a way you couldn’t began to understand

“I like it”, you confessed with a shy smile. You shared smiled and looked away immediately, feeling a bit embarrassed, “Whatever happens tomorrow, or any day”, you said, “you can come back to me”, he only hummed approvingly

You both took turns to sleep, without saying much else, sometimes with Daryl, you didn’t need to say anything. 

The very next day you woke up and were ready to leave, you ate canned beans as breakfast, as Aaron was telling everybody that they had manage to have chickens and ate fresh eggs everyday, that sounded amazing, and most of you climbed into the RV, to start the journey to Alexandria

It was a ride for a couple of hours, that wasn’t the issue, you liked road trips, or at least, you used to like them…

You got seated in an area that was supposed to be for eating, and Daryl had gotten inside just behind you, he was going to follow you

“Daryl”, Carol called him, signaling for him to sit with her on the other side of the camper and he did, so you just smiled at Eugene and Tara, who got seated by you side

“Have you ever played Seven-card stud?”, he asked you both, and you immediately engaged with him

“Stack ‘em”, you mocked

“You don’t say it like that, you say rack ‘em when you want to play pool”, teased Tara, you laughed

“So what do I say when I want my cards dealt”

“Deal me in”, says Eugene

“Yeah, if you are from the south”, and a fun argument ensued while you started playing cards 

“Stares and squares. It's aces, cuatros, neeners, and two-eyed jacks”, you chuckled as you tried to understand what he meant

“So there's 14 wild cards? Are you serious?”, asked Tara, who was not impressed, you also believed Eugene was teaching you something where only he could win

“Serious as two copulating dogs”

“Copulating dogs are serious?”, you giggled, and you started laughing again, it looked like you were drunk, laughing at anything funny you said. 

“Look! DC!”, you jumped at the window like a simple tourist, you had never gotten to see the capital of the United States, and even from afar, and in the middle of the apocalypse, it looked great. 

You kept driving, amongst giggles and nervous laughs, the three of you tried to keep it light, but you could tell the environment inside the RV was a bit tense, nobody knew what to expect. 

“We are here”, the camper went to a stop and you came back to your senses, watching over the window. There were some abandoned buildings, you got out of it, to see the promised land, the big walls, and a huge gate.

When you saw the gates and the people there to open them, your social anxiety of old came back, quicker than you expected, and you felt dread… and suddenly it hit you… not because they might kill you, or try to eat you, but because you didn’t really wanted to meet more people, or talk to them… or care for them… you took one last look at your group, and wished you could stay the same as you were now, all eighteen of you.

18, such a nice, round number, could be divided by 9, 6, 3 or 2, you liked those numbers, even. 

You sometimes were certain that you had an undiagnosed OCD to some degree. 

When all of you walked towards those gates, you took a step back, Rick noticed, immediately, as did Daryl

“Hey”, he said softly, “what’s going on?”

“I dunno”, you muttered, you didn’t want things to change, you didn’t want to meet new people, you were getting so tired by this point… 

“It’s fine”, he said softly, “it’s gonna be fine”, you nodded. And took a step forwards, signaling that you were fine, you just had a bit of cold feet.

As you stood there, waiting for them to open the gates, you heard a loud noise that made all of you jump and point your guns, but it was only a possum. Daryl shot it, killing it instantly. You all turned to the man who opened the gates, who seemed… horrified, to say the least.

“We brought diner”, said Daryl, raising up the dead possum, you chuckled

Post chapter notes: I realized… because I rewatched… that I really downplayed those weeks on the road, they were completely feral by the point they met poor Aaron. I would have liked to have a couple more chapters with my eighteen, but… this story must go on, I already had them jumping through hoops, jejeje

taglist! @crazyunsexycool

[weebsinstash]

God devout protector Miguel after the you two incident would be AMAZINGLY AWFUL. Man will full on strap your ass to him in like a baby carrier kind of fashion, you wouldn’t leave his sight, let alone his reach.

And the other spiders would be crossed between being mad jealous but also relived because if anyone can keep you on lock, it would be Miguel.

If you did try and leave again tho I FIRMLY believe man would go full feral, foaming and running on all fours, just to get you again.

But also? He’s totally crying the first time he gets to fuck the real you. Man will swear there’s a diff between you and your dopple.

(Post contains across the spiderverse spoilers for Miguel's backstory/family)

Bruh I keep thinking of tons of ways to torture Miguel/the Reader, why do I have a fetish for writing fucking drama like this is some lifetime movie real housewives levels of drama, and I was thinking of a really specific scene sort of idea. So imagine a big reason YouTwo starts trying to steal your identity, really THE reason, is because YOU didn't realize "the severity of your surroundings" in the sense that you don't realize your spidey sense is going off half the time because a big portion of this community is stalking you, but YouTwo DOES. Like lmao, it's not even, totally out of spite against you that they steal your life either, YouTwo may just also share some of your massive insecurity issues and they see how so much of the Spider Society outright adores you and wants that for themselves, they want to feel important and loved, shit maybe YouTwo is even an anomaly who was never supposed to be a Spider but you were and that furthers their own mental health issues

I really like the idea of like, Reader and Miguel having kind of a slow burn undefined relationship which actually plays a role in exposing YouTwo or. Something lol. Idk I kind of struggle sometimes, tone wise, with writing yandere who are just like outright delusional and not at least partially lucid and, I typically don't go for those "I was drooling at the mouth the second i saw you" characterizations myself (not because I don't like them but, I'm apparently obsessed with "having emotional tension build up")

So, imagine if one point in the past Reader had gotten drunk and Miguel was taking them home because a super drunk and clumsy Spider who can crawl up any surface with super strength could be a potential disaster (did yall know Miguel can lift TEN TONS, that's 20,000 pounds, uh, uh, uh, sir thats actually terrifying i think you could deadass One Punch Man, fucking, Doomfist punch an entire fucking skyscraper) and at some point you just kind of. It's a little earlier on in how you know him and imagine you just kind of very extremely sloppily come onto him, just kind of a "fuck it he's handsome and I'm drunk why not just go for it" moment

you kiss him on the lips, and he just totally freezes and, you know, despite him actually having some developing feelings for you, unhealthy obsessive feelings gradually increasing over time, he's not exactly at the Having Sex With You stage yet, or, perhaps he already is but, you're too drunk for him to be comfortable sleeping with you because He's A Good Catholic Boy And Your First Time Together Must Be Special or, he has to be more drunk too so it feels a little less uhhhhh dubcon-y (I also keep thinking about, as a separate concept separate from YouTwo stuff, what if you both got drunk to the point both of you kind of forget who you slept with last night until Miguel remembers but you don't and he's like "oh shit did I actually remember to use protection or was i too drunk and excited in the heat of the moment" and, oh hey wouldn't you know it, Reader just missed their period, when applicable obviously)

But anyways Miguel just gently rejects your advances and, actually is, emotionally vulnerable for a while, like he respects you enough to explain his reasoning and then some, telling you, hey, it's been kind of a long time since he's, you know, been with someone In That Way, he DID used to have a fiance who had been pregnant when she died, and after losing them both as a canon event, and then losing "them" a second time, his heart is just. Still healing after all this time. And I imagine Reader is embarrassed as fuck but also you're crying but it's actually a good crying because you're like "dude i think its so beautiful that you love them that much that they're still kept close to your heart after all this time" and it actually makes you love and respect him MORE, his strength, his devotion, and the two of you just sit there and talk until you eventually pass out and THIS is a huge moment that furthers his obsession with you because he gently set a boundary where he's technically rejecting you, denying you something you want, and you're basically like "dude that's so fucking badass of you, you're like the strongest man I know, sir its an honor working with a man like you"

For one, imagine the fucking pain if after that experience with you, he winds up eventually having his "first time" with YouTwo and you walk in on it and that like, completely breaks your heart because it's like. Wow fuck we've been coworkers and, weirdly defined not-dating-but-everyone-jokes-we're-married status for like maybe a year and a half even, and he just suddenly, in your perception, replaces you with some... cheap copy? What was wrong with you? What did they have that you don't? Why weren't you good enough 🥺 like I imagine at this plot point Reader is already SEVERELY depressed and you just find a man you, you like genuinely LOVE seemingly replacing you with someone who looks and sounds just like you but somehow YOU aren't good enough. Like. Bro it hurts you so fucking bad, part of me thinks you just go to your apartment and don't come out for like a straight week and that makes you feel even worse because YT is still running around fooling people and not everyone notices your absence so one comes to check on you and it furthers your mental illness that "no one cares about me" when that couldn't be farther from the truth

Absolutely torturing this man with the concept of, you guys never sleep together (yet) but YouTwo just kind of automatically assumes from The Vibes they get from the pair of you that SOMETHING must be going on and, during what I'll call the big confrontation, where YouTwo is cornering you with other Spiders who accuse you of being the fake and they're kicking you out, you weaponize that you know things THEY don't. You're standing there desperately trying to think of how to prove your innocence and you take one look at Miguel and the way he's absolutely glaring you down, almost looking at him in a sort of "wait, I want you to see this" kind of way before you look at YouTwo and fall into a character of your own "so how long have you been sleeping with my man? What, i warm him up for you and you steal my boyfriend?" Or something to that effect, and YouTwo is just kind of like, "oh PUH LEASE, Miguel and I have a much deeper relationship than just the physical, you have no right to talk like you know him" and they sidle up to him rather intimately and meanwhile Miguel's expression just DROPS. He looks to you while you stand there glitching out without your wristwatch and you're looking at him with the biggest saddest fucking boo boo eyes and you just kind of like, solemnly bow your head, "it was an honor working with you, sir" and he's just like OH F U C K, man is RUSHING, he scrambles to try and put his own watch on you but it's too late, there's not enough time, he reaches out to save you and your form disappears from this reality just as he's about to snap the cuff on your wrist

Like deadass it isn't your fault, but, you RE-TRAUMATIZE this man. His wife and unborn child, the replacement family, now YOU, and YOU were totally innocent and this was even more his fault than the first two things, like, he is one more major incident away from becoming an addict or a barely functioning alcoholic by the time you stumble back into his dimension by accident

I imagine he and the other betrayed Spiders deadass put scars on YouTwo's face and body so there can never be any mistaking who they are ever again and they're exiled back to their home dimension (and I mean if they kill themselves Miguel just kind of shrugs like "that was their choice" and also I wonder if that would break canon for that universe and kill everything in it or deadass there would just be another replacement Spider and suddenly everyone is like oh wow YouTwo was a fake anomaly all along)

But gooooodddddd, thinking of both Reader and Miguel after the return. Both of y'all are traumatized and you're basically scared of him now, it's hard for you to trust him or anyone else at all, meanwhile Miguel is DESPERATE to try and make things up to you while you're flinching when he reaches for you. I imagine the man starts being more openly affectionate with you. More hands on your shoulder, a pat on the head, he asks Lyla to watch you while he goes to refill his coffee and gives you a kiss on the temple on his way out, meanwhile Reader is just, you know, probably desperately needing therapy at this point, thinking "do I or don't I trust him", but also still having all of those happy memories with him and everyone else and you're just, even if you wanted to you're too physically weak from being lost in the multiverse for several months to really escape if you wanted to

Deadass think at this point the man would microchip you like a cat. Oh, so Miguel has to worry about fakes of his loved ones showing up now, as if he isnt dealing with 2099 other things right now? He'll show them! He'll microchip your ass so he can track you and confirm your identity at all times! Maybe he'll just microchip everyone! Or he'll put some sort of system feature in all the bracelets where they all have ID numbers and such so no one can pretend they aren't who they say they are! He's not mentally ill, he's just well intentioned, promise :)

While you're recovering from bouncing around all the different universes, healing any fractures or broken bones, overcoming any fevers or infections, he is INVOLVED in your care. He's constantly asking any doctors and medics for updates, and really, he's like a genius geneticist, would he actually be directly involved in administering any of your care? He doesn't like seeing other people give you shots or draw any blood because it hurts you so he insists on doing it. He creates a little nook in his office and on his brooding platform (almost typo'd that as breeding platform, but, I mean, it COULD be) so that he can keep his eyes on you once you've recovered enough to be let out of bed. Miguel just, finally getting an actual chair or bench and he's sitting watching all his monitors in the dark while you're in his lap and he's occasionally gently petting your hair. If he sees anything upsetting he just settles himself closer to your body and it brings him peace like no other and suddenly, yeah he just straight up is toxic codependent on you. He wants to protect and fawn and obsess over you and you're scared and vulnerable and start depending on him for protection again, like imagine if you're actually too scared to try running away because you just spent several months being catapulted between universes and you just need to rest, there's so much danger out there you didn't even comprehend before and, at least here with Miguel, it's safe for you, so, you accidentally kind of feed into all his problems

Could you even FUCKING IMAGINE if a THIRD YOU shows up and they might actually have distinguishing features from you that make it like impossible for you to be mixed up BUT STILL the second you see them you literally begin bawling your eyes out IMMEDIATELY and cling to Miguel, SHAKING, "please don't get rid of me please don't get rid of me please I don't have anywhere to go please please please" and like You3 could be the nicest person ever and not want to fuck up anything in any way and the whole ass Spider Society is just still like "nah fam you gotta go home, there's only room for one of you here" which is ironic coming from a a society where 70% of them are like the exact same person, like gee let me go fetch a coffee with Peter Parker and Peter B Parker and Peni Parker and Peter Porker and Peter Parkedcar like. You see what I mean?

Miguel and Reader sharing living quarters after your return and like, do you think he has a decent living space or do you think like nah he's living in a bachelor pad. He's actually the CEO of Alchemax in his universe so I assume he'd be like absolutely loaded, and he's in a futuristic cyberpunk dystopia so like, presumably he'd have a fully kitted-out penthouse apartment, and yeah while there IS room for you to have your own space and own bedroom, for sleeping, you're REQUIRED to be in the same room or bed as him. The entire place is bugged and wired and he has things meticulously organized so even if there were cameras he would know when you touch things or potentially snoop around. Oh, those papers on his desk were a few centimeters to the left before he went to the bathroom kinda attention to detail

And of course he eventually wants to take your relationship even further and finally be with and hold you, the real you, join his bodies with YOU and not some fake this time, and if it's not outright noncon, maybe you're so traumatized at this point you just decide "at least he thinks I'm me, at least someone still loves me enough like this, at least he's devoted to me even though he's totally crazy" and, you know, participating. He's murmuring all these praises and endearments and you're just so anxious and shy while his hands roam your body and he just totally worships you with lots of kisses and nuzzles and teasing little bites and you're holding onto him and are affectionate with him back, basically cuddling the entire time during sex, like man could have you folded into a mating press and you just, reach and intertwine your fingers and look up at him like 🥺 so insecure and scared because is he going to stop and leave if you mess up? What are you supposed to do? And he can sense your anxiety and gives you plenty of compliments and praise and encouragement while showering you with little smooches

You're lying there post-coitus and he's got his huge muscular arms caged around you as he tucks you into his chest, rubbing his hands over your back, telling you how amazing it was, how you did such a good job, and he basically fucks you the entire night until you can't take it anymore and are passing out in his bed while he's holding you, practically purring until both of you fall asleep as he idly wonders what your ring size is.

[weezerfan123]

If you have any headcanons for sweet dirt? Like about their futures or relationships

People showing interest in the obscure rarepair I made up over a year ago is something I never could’ve imagined and I appreciate it beyond words, seriously😭💗

ANYWAY yes I think about them all the time and have so much to say about them!!

Scott definitely falls first. Sugar rolls around in dirt and puts makeup on pigs and has violent tendencies and Scott is like WOW. What a woman. When Scott has a crush, he’ll try to play it cool, or even pretend he hates Sugar, but his true feelings are painfully obvious.

If he tries to play it cool, he’ll go out of his way to hang around Sugar, making lame excuses just to be near her. He might start mimicking her interests, like rolling in the dirt alongside her or acting like he’s suddenly into pig makeup. Of course, Sugar’s suspicious, and thinks he’s only hanging around because he wants something/will backstab her eventually. It’s a bad mentality she can’t shake from her pageant days, she’s convinced anyone being nice to her is faking it.

They’d definitely develop a rivalry before they’d become any kind of friends. Wether it’s on the show, at their local county fair— in every universe, these two fight like feral animals. It’s not cutesy stuff like tripping or hair-pulling; Scott will put nails in Sugar’s driveway and Sugar will hit him on the back of the head with a steel pipe. There will be many concussions and broken noses before these two even consider becoming friends.

As their rivalry intensifies, Scott finds himself in a strange predicament. The more they clash, the more he’s drawn to Sugar. Every time she pulls some wild stunt, his respect for her only grows. Sure, she may have just stabbed him in the foot with a rusty pitchfork, but Scott can’t help but admire her strength and determination.

On the flip side, Sugar’s suspicions about Scott’s intentions only deepen as he sticks around. She’s used to people being fake nice, but Scott’s different. He’s not pretending to be sweet; he’s openly antagonistic, and for some reason, that feels more genuine to her. Even though they’re constantly at each other’s throats, Sugar starts noticing the little things—how Scott’s always around, how he never really tries to hurt her too badly, and how, despite everything, he’s weirdly consistent in her life.

Their rivalry becomes the foundation of their bond, and before they know it, they start to rely on each other in odd ways. Scott might complain about Sugar being impossible, but if anyone else messes with her, he’s the first to step in. And while Sugar might talk about how she hates his guts, she’d secretly miss their fights if he ever stopped showing up.

Eventually, the tension between them builds up to a breaking point. Maybe it’s another over-the-top brawl, where they’re both covered in mud and bruises, panting from the effort. In that moment, there’s a pause—just long enough for them to catch each other’s eye and realize that underneath all the chaos, they actually care about each other.

From there, things start to change. Their fights become less about hurting each other and more about pushing each other’s buttons in a way that only they can. It’s still a mess, but now there’s a weird, unspoken understanding between them. They’ll never admit it, but both Scott and Sugar find a certain thrill in their bizarre relationship.

Once they’re in a relationship— however the fuck they figure that out—

Scott’s love language is 100% acts of service. He’ll wake up at 5am to feed the chickens and weed the garden. When Sugar’s like why’d you do that for me Scott says “BECAUSE I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!”

He also brings Sugar home little trinkets, cool rocks, and flowers he finds out and about. He tells her “This reminded me of you FUCKFACE,” and kisses her on the cheek. He can’t give affection without being a little mean to balance it out.

Sugar, instead of getting mad, just beams at him, knowing that Scott’s bark is worse than his bite. She’s used to his rough edges and tough love, and she can see right through Scott’s attempts to hide his feelings. It’s why she likes to smother him with affection, knowing it drives him crazy.

Sugar’s love language is touch. She loves hugging Scott so hard his ribs crack and carrying him around like a sack of potatoes. She likes to kiss him all over his face until he gets embarrassed and shoves her away.

Their relationship is a mix of insults and affection, bruises and hugs, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. AND I LOVE THEM!!!!!

[allastoredeer]

Hola deer I was wondering what are your thoughts of who might have Al on a leash…I know many people are speculating it to be Lilith, but I feel like There is no way Al had a whole breakdown song just for being Lilith lackeys. True it might be that he just wants his power back, but the idea of Lilith requesting Al to keep an eye on the hotel it’s not that bad per se. The way he reacted when Husk mentioned his leash, that was the face of a man who is terrified to lose control and making a deal with Charlie was his last remedy.

The man is desperate and I can’t stop thinking about the fact the he was already so powerful when he come to hell, And unless he met someone who had a lot of knowledge on the place before dying, I doubt he would have got the title of overlord that quickly. Someone must have helped him right?! Same with Lilith. As the story goes she became so very powerful when she feel in hell, but how? Do u just know what your power are and how to use them when u die? Lilith was the first of her kind to get down there, there was no one she could have taken inspiration from. And what about Al’s shadow? I mean what shadows have in correlation with a deer man with a microphone? To me it would make much more sense if when Al was alive, he got in contact with someone very powerful from hell and made the naive mistake to trust it. He sold his soul and he got shadows to help him through his murders, then Upon dying, he made a second mistake and momentarily forgot about his leash, going around and killing Overlords for his own entertainment, until he was called back to fulfill his end of the bargain.

My speculation is that root must have his soul and maybe even Lilith’s soul, or at least some kinda of deal with her, that got her to be the queen she is remembered as. Heaven is the only place where root eyes are not visible, and it might explain why Lilith disappeared for 7 years in the angel land , same as Al. Maybe Lilith helped Al in exchange of him taking care of his daughter for her or something, and while they were together Lilith might have accidentally influenced Al’s opinion on the king of hell as well, causing the man to hate him at first sight lol

Just imagining Lilith ranting about his ex husband to Alastor, like Charlie did about Vaggie, when they were going to cannibalism town it’s so funny to me.

I like the idea that She's just Luci's long-suffering wine mom friend who is amicably divorced from him and ends up gaining a second man child once Luci and Al get together. I think her being the villain it’s just too cliche and I feel like it would be so much better if she actually start bickering with Lucy, angry talking like two feral cats lol

But let me know what you think😆

I get why a lot of people are speculating that Lilith has Alastor on a leash, and I wouldn't be surprised (or upset) if she does, but I really think it's Roo.

Or, at least, I want it to be her so badly.

I agree that I don't think Alastor would have a mental breakdown over being Lilith's lackey. Honestly, I don't agree with whole idea/concept that Lilith is even the bad guy. Like, I won't be mad if she is, because I love corrupt or morally grey female characters, but I think there is so much more going on them meets the eye.

A lot of people saw that 5 second glimpse of her onscreen during the season finale and kind of just assumed she ditched Hell and her family to live it up in Heaven, but I just...that makes absolutely no sense to me, especially given how she's been depicted in the background during the show. Given what little we know about Lilith, I just cannot see her leaving Lucifer, Charlie, and her entire domain to go fuck around in Heaven, whom I imagine she wouldn't have a very good relationship with, anyway.

And yes! I also massively agree about Alastor getting his power from some kind of source. It was specifically stated that he was toppling Overlords and gaining power faster than anyone ever has before, and from what we can deduce from the show, Alastor has the power to actually kill sinners - which isn't supposed to be possible. The only way sinners are supposed to die is with angelic weaponry.

Not only that, it also hasn't been hinted or implied that anyone else has been able to rip apart souls like he does. As far as we've seen from the other Overlords, the most you can do is own someone's soul.

So we have Alastor over here rising to the top of the food chain almost over night, gaining power at a rapid pace, with abilities that no one else seems to have. Yeah, I 100% believe he made a deal with someone when he first came into Hell, and I think that person was Roo.

I mean, what motive would Lilith have for making a deal with this random sinner who just entered Hell? Out of the hundreds (if not thousands) of sinners who have to be arriving in Hell by the day? What would she have to gain by doing that? What could Alastor possibly offer her that she, the Queen of Hell, can't do herself?

But Roo? She's the Root of all Evil. She doesn't need a reason. She can be evil for the sake of being evil. I can see her picking a random, wide-eyed, recently deceased sinner and giving them the deal of a lifetime - one that she can cash in on later.

And even if it wasn't random, I can see her looking for a lackey to give power to, to then use as a pawn farther down the road. I can see her being cunning and careful with who she picks, and I 100% believe she would see Alastor's insecure ass and know that guy would do anything to get power (the faster the better), especially if he only just died and didn't yet understand the full scale and structure of Hell, and how serious those kinds of deals are.

(And I can also see Alastor making a deal with Roo when he was alive and then suffering the consequences of it when he died. That's be super cool.)

As for why, well, Roo obviously doesn't have much sway in Hell, despite being the Root of all Evil, because we don't see or hear about her at all throughout the show. If she had power over any of the 7 Rings, we would've seen it or heard about it. In fact, she's only been alluded to once, and that was in the first episode, during the opening sequence of Charlie explaining Hell's origin story.

Still, Roo has to interact with Hell in some way, considering she's the personification of evil and this is THE place for wickedness and corruption. I just don't think she has power or dominion there. At least, not yet ;)

I think she's been cooking up a scheme for a while and what we're seeing in season 1 is her slowly putting the game pieces into place. I think she has Alastor on a leash (that she's had him on a leash for a while but she's only just now using it), and I think she's also the reason Lilith is in Heaven.

I mean, when you think about it, of course she would want Lilith out of the picture if she's trying to make a power grab in Hell. Lilith was the one running the place. She thrived in Hell. She empowered it. So getting her out of the picture makes perfect sense, and who would even think to look for Lilith in Heaven? The very last place you'd expect her to be?

I don't know, the whole idea that Lilith is just a big bad evil women who doesn't care about her family and hates Hell and wants nothing to do with either of them just...it doesn't sit right. It doesn't make sense.

I do think that Lilith and Alastor have met each other in some way, though. The both of them disappearing for 7 years, at the same time, is too much of a coincidence (I want her and Alastor to be besties :3) and I just KNOW that there is more to Lucifer and Lilith's divorce than people give it credit for. I want those juicy details. I want a full blown argument between them so we can get that tea.

But if Lilith does end up being one of our antagonists in season 2, I won't be upset, cuz like I said, give me those morally corrupt women. They'll be loved and appreciated here.

Still, my gut says its Roo. And even if Roo isn't directly holding Alastor's leash, I think she's involved in some way and that she's going to be coming into play eventually. She seems like the type who would manipulate things from the shadows, using people as pawns, and playing a game that no one else even realizes they're playing. I want her to be a psychotic little mastermind trash lady.

I neeeeeeed it.

[fidothefinch]

In the Library

For Holy Server B@tman prompt: Reverse Robins AU Jason noticed the new kid the second he stepped across the library’s threshold. There was a large window, and though little Dickie was silent, he cast a shadow across Jason’s book as he passed. Rookie.

Jason turned a page nonchalantly, hoping that the kid would get bored and move on. He only half understood what his eyes were scanning as he mentally tracked Dick’s progress. Across the library. Up the shelves of the furthest case. Across the top shelf. It was the long pause that followed, Dick likely perched on the bookshelf directly behind Jason’s comfortable seat on the wingback chair, that finally made Jason nervous.

Without moving his head, he glanced at the chandelier twelve feet above. Sure, the kid was an acrobat, but he wouldn’t—

“Ha!”

It took all of Jason’s vigilante training not to jump at the sight of the feral child shooting across the ceiling. Dick had a wide grin on his face as he caught the chandelier like a pro (which he had been). The whole structure swung with his momentum, making the crystal chime.

When Jason’s heart had started to beat again, he snapped his book shut around one finger to hold his place. Pretense gone. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked.

Dick had maneuvered himself so he hung upside-down by his knees from the lowest ring. “Did I scare you?” he asked, batting his eyelashes. Not even a hint of shame.

“You’re lucky you didn’t bring the whole thing down.”

Dick shrugged. “I’ve done it before.”

Jason raised his eyebrows. “Oh, really?” He stretched out the second word, making his interest clear.

Dick paused mid-stretch and eyed Jason, like he suddenly realized he could be dealing with a narc. “What are you reading?” he asked instead.

Jason wasn’t falling for such terrible deflection. “You could hurt yourself, and I’m not going to get in trouble for letting you. Get down from there.”

Dick grinned, and Jason didn’t realize his mistake until he swung the chandelier, gaining momentum, and launched himself across the room again. Jason reflexively stood, like he could have caught him, but Dick flipped in the air once, twice, and landed in a roll. Jason just stared flatly as the kid stood tall, arms high, and gave a grand bow.

“I get it now,” Jason said. “You’re a show off.”

Dick stuck his tongue out at him. Jason hoped that would be the end of it, but Dick bounded up to him like a puppy, all lanky limbs and boundless energy. So much energy. Was Jason ever like this when he was Dick’s age? He understood now why Tim had avoided him at first.

“What are you reading?” the puppy-eyed boy asked.

“Shakespeare.”

“For school?”

“No.”

Dick gasped. “For fun?”

Jason glowered. “Shakespeare is a master of the written word. Look,” Jason thumbed the well-loved hardback open to a dogeared page. (It had been leftover from whoever last read from it. Damian, maybe. Jason would never.) He skimmed a few lines before he found what he was looking for. “To be or not to be, that is the question—”

Dick groaned theatrically. Everything he did was theatrical, Jason was beginning to suspect. “Sounds boring.”

“A man propelled to madness by his grief and his drive for revenge, boring?” Jason took his seat again. “I think Cass still has Dick and Jane in her room, if that’s more your speed.”

Dick scowled at him, but Jason pointedly stuck his nose back into his book.

“Fine,” Dick said. The seat next to Jason rocked as Dick invited himself in, legs kicked over the armrest.

“Your elbows are digging into my side,” Jason grumbled.

Dick adjusted and flopped all the way into Jason’s lap. He was giving Jason that grin again, the one he was beginning to associate with trouble.

He could just shove Dick into the floor. But Jason was mature. So he propped his elbows on Dick’s sternum to hold his book up.

Dick wisely didn’t complain.

After reading silently for a few minutes, a small voice asked, “Can. . . I mean, would you. . . .”

Jason understood. He cleared his throat in acknowledgement, and picked up right where he had left off.

As he began to read the verse out loud, Dick melted into his lap. Jason hadn’t realized how tense he had been. Maybe he should cut the kid some slack.

After he learned about Shakespeare.

[bl-bracket]

Round 3: Kim (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Rain (Love in the Air)

[Submitted Reasons Under Cut]

Kim: "He’s a feral cat with the most pathetic tendencies. Kills a bunch of people and then starts crying looking at the polaroids he and his ex took together (his ex that he broke up with). Falls for Chay so hard it makes him look stupid. If Chay had called him something like babygirl or princess during the series I think that would have broken the last straw for Kim and he would have forgotten all about the mafia and dedicate his life to being Chay’s boyfriend."

Rain: "I mean Look At Him. Babygirl coded as hell. Big ol 🥺🥺 eyes, not a thought behind them, bouncing along with his silly happy grin (and mad little pout when he gets teased), kicks his kidnapper in front of mafia guys but also calls his man Daddy to get out of doing reading, called a stranger handsome and then thought about that stranger for weeks, getting called “cute boy” made him so overwhelmed he had to crouch into a ball where he stood, it continues but what more do you want? Him to have to work and use his one braincell for more than horny plans? Ridiculous. Rain is physically a twink but mentally an orange cat with its head stuck in a bucket, but he’s getting through by being cute and fierce 😠🥺. He’s a self aware Babygirl and he’s Living for it, both arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s bicep (or hand gripping the back of his boyfriend’s neck)"

[magnusbae]

*gremlin noises* I love your posts you’re a delight to my dash

-TRASH RACOON NOISES BACK-

You're a delight to my heart 🥰💖🌺✨

Why yes I did see your tags about THE THESIS, God knows I sHOULD DO IT. Or more like, here's a thing 😌🌻

▾▾▾

Dreamling 548w Courting? Courting.

▾▾▾

There's that look again.

Hob notices it more and more lately on his friend's face. He looks… Hob has to swallow, for the lack of any other word, his friend looks quite frankly, feral.

The reason however, not so easy to decipher. His Stranger, mysterious as ever, doesn't make it any easier. So Hob watches for it, that look, and files it down mentally until finally... he starts connecting the dots. And then? Well, fuck. Damn if he knows what to do with that.

There's a thrill in realizing that his friend, Morpheus, enjoys those small gestures of, ah, what would Hob call it in order to avoid what it actually is… friendship, that's what he'd call it, for now.

He smiles, so wide it aches at the edges, his eyes wrinkling with the fondness of it.

"May I carry your coat?" he asks, growing bolder in the things he asks and how often, the idea that Morpheus would accept and most likely enjoy it, strips away any hint of hesitancy out of him.

To Hob's pleasure (but no longer surprise), Morpheus accepts, gracious as ever as he shrugs the coat off with an inhuman elegance, it looks like liquid darkness as it slides off of his lithe form.

Hob takes the cloth from his friend, it's heavy, heavier than what it ought to be. It's rich to the touch, putting to shame any egyptian silk he had ever touched.

"…" Morpheus seems to want to say something, lips parting slightly, then shutting with a secretive smile he probably thinks Hob is unable to spot.

If only.

Oh he sees it plainly.

His stranger, his Morpheus, is pleased.

More than. He seems positively puffed up with smugness.

Without his coat, he looks… younger somehow? As if a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He stands straighter, lean strong frame clearly outlined by the soft t-shirt he wears. His skinny jeans truly leaves nothing to the imagination, now that there's no coat to shelter his legs from sight.

When Hob's eyes flick up, he's caught by Morpheus, looking straight into his eyes.

Whoops.

Hob smiles back sheepishly, moving the coat to his left arm.

"Let's have a walk?" he asks "I wish to show you the park, it's amazing in this weather" it's half question, half a declaration. Just enough decisive to get that same reaction. Again.

What an odd creature his stranger is. Pleased by something that one would assume to certaintly irk his royal highness. After all, he despises so deeply for things to be defined out loud, and yet seeming to truly love this...

Hob simply cannot find a word other than courting. As it's courting what he's been unwittingly, and later very deliberately doing.

It's courting without ever daring to say it out loud.

"Yes." Morpheus flutters his eyelashes and looks down, as if modest.

He will drive him mad.

Swallowing heavily, adam's apple shifting, Hob considers if offering an arm is something Morpheus would tolerate. Probably not yet.

"This way" Hob says instead, smiling. "It's a right nice spot" he comments when they're there, by the lake and under a tree "I read here sometimes" he muses out loud.

Morpheus seems pleased enough by the answer.

"What is it that you read, Hob Gadling?"

[tobiasdrake]

That was sweet. Now back to the much more dismal present.

We're back to the burning question: Stabilized homunculus who's cracked the secret of curing ferals? Ghost coming to comfort Yakou in his low comprehension? Or the hallucination of a memory Yakou will never let go of?

That's a heartening thing to say. Did you crack the secret of stabilizing the defective homunculi?

There is a cure. We're probably going to use up the entire sample on Yakou as a bittersweet moment, like her greatest research was to give him a second chance at life.

But even if that's the case, the fact that she managed to do it means it can be done. Much like Real Yuma's ramen shop, it shows the value of crowdsourcing the homunculi's problems outside of just Makoto.

If stabilizing homunculi is possible, then even if Yakou uses the entire sample, it means someone else might crack this code again. It's proof-of-concept that the code can be cracked.

I am so happy right now. We can cure Yakou. We can cure the Theater Girls. We can cure Shachi. And the Priest. We can shove Huesca in a pit. We can cure Tetra's dad!

I mean, after it's reinvented, of course. I'm sure there's only going to be enough in that thing for Yakou.

Yep. One pill. Which is just kicking the can down the road; Yakou will be fine until his next death and then he's right back in this situation.

But it's proof of concept. First thing he should do as soon as he regains his mental faculties is go straight to Makoto and tell him it can be done. We need to restart homunculus research, and pore over his wife's notes extensively. Maybe take samples of Yakou's blood for testing.

T_T This is such a sweet conclusion, both for Yakou's journey and for the story as a whole.

And there she goes confusing me again. I do not know what you mean by that. Is she saying to go dig up her corpse if he can't un-feral?

It's not like he can die and join her in the afterlife. She's already got a Yakou with her in the afterlife. This one's trapped here forever.

All the same, this is such a great ending. Emotionally powerful and satisfyingly interesting all at once.

"Hard man seeks revenge because his woman was fridged" is a character archetype I generally loathe. But it works so well for Yakou. Partly because it's not what solely defines his character; There are plenty of other facets to him as well. Like most of Kodaka's characters, he's a complicated guy.

But also because of the leg-work that this DLC did to make his wife out as more than just a nice lady who died so we can be mad about it. I've seen more than a few attempts at trying to convince the audience to be emotionally invested in the dead spouse but this is the first one that's ever worked for me.

I think it's because most of the time, the dead wife winds up characterized like this saintly figure who was perfect and demure and wifely in all the "right ways", such that she never feels like her own character and comes off more like the emotional crowbar that she is. But Kodaka sat down at his computer and just hammered out a concise tale about two people who enjoy each other's company and find they have some shared interests.

With characters like these, it often winds up feeling like they were just spinning their wheels living Insert Idyllic Life and waiting for the story to start. Things won't get interesting until she dies. Sorry, but her life is the price of admission for this cool story, I guess.

But with Yakou and his wife, it's like. No. No, this was the story. A whirlwind romance besieged by assassins and gene research, that was the story of their life. The Yakou we meet when we step off that train is a broken man because, for him, the story catastrophically ended. For him, there is nothing left to tell.

...if only she had a fucking name. Come on, Kodaka! Really!? I'm shilling this love story you wrote so hard and it's between Yakou and... Amaterasu Researcher. God fucking dammit, even when you're on the ball, I want to shake you violently for the choices you make.

[noriirori]

HEADCANONS FOR TEAM FORTRESS 2

CW: might contain spoilers! Please read with caution and if you haven't read the comics, I recommend you do so that the head canons make sense but you don't have to!

Hi! These are my head canons about our mercs! They are A LOT so be ready hehe. Now, I don't play the game bcuz one, poverty, two, don't have a PC, and three, the mobile version is not available for my phone (I'm sad bcuz of it 😔) , ok LETS GOOOO.

• HeavyMedic

Medic is the "talks a lot" to Heavy's "listens"

• this head canon has always been in my mind ever since I've started watching sfm on YouTube and reading the official comics is that because Medic likes to ramble about basically *anything* from his newest discovery to talking shit about their own teammates and Heavy listens. In one particular discussion that they both had is about Scout, mainly Medic complaining about the Bostonian, and he *accidentally* mentions his his similarity to Spy, ending it with "like father, like son". Which is how Heavy found out about Spy being scouts Father.

•endearment is very common but they WOULD NEVER, EVER, TILL THE DAY THAT THEY DIE use "babe". U feel like they are very class and shit and that really makes them shudder and shiver cuz they think it's for younger couples and they ain't young they in they 50s. What they would use is Darling, sweetheart, my love, and their favorite would be animals that remind them of each other. Medic would call Heavy "bear" and Heavy would call medic his "dove".

Helmet Party (Soldier x Engineer)

Basically their whole dynamic:

Engie "calm but still feral bf " x Soldier "not contained feral bf"

•Soldier is definitely such a softie when it comes to Engineer, like he gives the Texan special treatment and he doesn't even notice but the entire team knows of course. He isn't necessarily soft spoken, just kinda of chill and let's his guard down around engineer (he doesn't to it to anyone else even Demoman). ALSO! Engie is the "calm, reserved still insane, but regardless nice bf" and Soldier is the "loud, bossy, mentally unstable bf".

• Both of them have anger issues but the difference is, Engie can control his anger because he's very patient and understanding ( bless his soul) but Soldier can't. But just because Engie has lots of patience doesn't mean he doesn't get mad, I just know that Engie is the scariest to anger because he just stays silent and glares at everyone unlike soldier who won't hesitate to slash out, destroy things, etc.

•Engie is definitely more confident and more demanding in bed while Soldier is a bit timid. Idk why but I feel like soldier has this tendency to be scared to feel pleasure when it comes to sex and i wanted to link that with religious trauma, internalized homophobia, but despite that he still tries his very best to enjoy sexual intimacy (Engie WOULD NEVER let himself finish before Soldier does because he knows that he fins it hard to finish)

•Engineer's love language are definitely acts of service and Words of Affirmation while Soldier's would be physical touch. Like it wouldn't be unusual for Engie to build something for Soldier and he does it often but Soldier is still very grateful for every gift, and when they sleep together, Engie would just shower him with loving words like "I'm so glad you're mine" , "you're so adorable", "I love you" , etc. And Soldier would always be a blushing, flustered mess everytime. Soldier would be very physical with Engie like holding his hand, hugging him, and kissing him and other none sexual intimacy things. And it really surprised Engie at first because Soldier doesn't let anyone touch him (unless your super close with him like Demoman is). And when they have sex, Soldier really takes his time with Engie, kissing and adoring every part of his body to the point he's just worshipping Engie (not that Engie would complain lol) , and Engie would be really shy about showing his body because of scars and stuff like that and he isn't the most ripped and toned guy on the team so naturally, he'd be embarrassed to show his body but Soldier just constantly reminds him of how beautiful and lovely he is as a person.

•They are more reserved, like low-key and stuff but they don't and will deny their relationship if someone asks. I feel like they do it for the comfort of the other, like the team knows about their relationship but they aren't the type to flaunt it and really show PDA in front of the guys but it doesn't mean they don't share loving glances, hold hands when possible, cuddle on the couch, when the guys are there, just low-key stuff.

•They don't like it when other members of the team call them by their real names. I feel like this would apply to both of them, but Engineer would be more of the type to say that he doesn't mind it but he prefers it not to be used and if you call Soldier by his real name, run because he will gut you alive.

Can you tell I'm obsessed with Helmet Party? So, yeah! These are some but definitely not everything, it's just that I'm tired of typing shit lol (I'm lazy sorry). I'd like to hear your thoughts or own personal head canons about our mercs! Don't hesitate to comment cuz I love that😘

UPDATED HC: 07/18/23

•Pyro crochets. Idk. Like I just see him crocheting a dino or a unicorn for himself or to give to others.

•Heavy is English, literature, poetry, etc. smart while Medic is Mathematics, Science, etc. Smart.

•Medic LOVES being praised so heavy always praises him. From that series of sfm by HoovyTube (idk I could be wrong) about Medic and Spy not getting the recognition that they deserve and I feel like Heavy knows about Medic's craving for recognition so he praises him a LOT. Like "thank you doctor" "you are so smart doktor" etc.

UPDATE: 07/23/23

•Soldier is BEST at combat plans. Like okay, we all know that this man isn't the smartest right? But I can totally see him planning shit for upcoming battles, sometimes they are very absurd, and the other mercs are like worried cuz it might not work but in the end it all works out. Like all the time, which is why they let Soldier give these speeches before battle.

•Heavy is part of the people who taste soap in Cilantro. Like he is a man that'll eat whatever (edible) is given to him but as soon as he sees Cilantro on that stuff? Nah, he ain't eating it.

•Scout has dyslexia. This is more of canon tbh. He can read but he finds it difficult especially if he's reading it out loud.

•Engineer and Pyro have autism. Which is why engie is sometimes the only person who really gets Pyro and vice versa.

•Engineer, Medic, Spy, and Heavy are the Mercs that learned ASL for Pyro. They once found out that the man prefers to sign than try to talk when it comes out incoherent to them anyway.

•scout and sniper both know Morse code. It helped them expressing their love for each other even when the other mercenaries are there when they still kept it low-key. But what they didn't know is that Spy also knows Morse code , so evrytime Scout says "I love you" in Morse code, spy always let's out a disapproving groan or eye roll.

08/01/23

•Medic plays the violin, Engie plays the piano and guitar, what does Scout play? All three. I've got a feeling that bcuz he's the youngest he never got that much attention from his siblings (author is the youngest of five) and because he never got anyone to play with, he hangs out with a lot of people which is how he learned to play these instruments but he mostly plays guitar.

•these three having GOOD voices. Medic and Engie are expected but Scout? Nah, no one guessed. So it's really a surprise to the mercs when they find out he can sing.

•bidwell and miss Pauling are friends because they have one thing in common; overworked.

[sparkedblaze]

Random modern AU thoughts I have that no one asked for

@noxexistant you sent that ask just as I started this, but I feel like you won't get mad at me for finishing this first

Morris tweets solely from his computer. There's no punctuation or capitalization. It's all stream of consciousness.

Oscar tweets solely from his phone, and everything is punctuated only with periods. No commas or anything, when he's finished a thought, he puts a period and moves on.

Morris has broken so many crayons, Oscar has gotten him the big jumbo ones, and eventually gets him a little art tablet.

Racer thinks he can outrace anyone at Mario Kart, but he's honestly mediocre, his friends just suck. So when he does races with fans, he gets his ass handed to him.

Skittery is a ghost hunter. They don't do anything once they find one, they're just looking for a thrill

Graves usually goes along with them, to make sure the dead is being respected, and because he's the one who is gonna put in the work to do the research and try to find out who is haunting the place and why

Blink doesn't get his nickname from his disability (though he is half blind). He gets it from the way a camera shutter 'blinks', which led to the name of his business/page 'Blink Photography'

Davey is very open about his mental illnesses. He talks about living life with autism and anxiety. How difficult it was with both him and Les (who is def AuDHD), especially with how tight money was for a long time.

Crutchie posts daily vlogs. This wholesome ray of sunshine is immediately taken up by the general public (much like AKB), and his entire audience can and will fistfight you over him. Do not talk bad about Charlie Morris-Larkin you will have not only his brothers to deal with, but also millions of fans who are absolutely feral

Henry starts off as a cooking channel. He gets so excited to try new things, and even more so when a fan suggests it. He'll ask about their favorite place to get it, or if there's anywhere good to buy it at all, or if he should just get together with someone to make it instead. He always invites said-fan to come and do the video with him and get to see him try it live and in person. There's very little he doesn't like.

Henry will bring in people from the culture (i.e. probably having someone from Elmer’s family if they’re trying pierogis, or Miss Medda if they’re trying something like gumbo (Medda Larkin is from the south and you can fight me on that), or they’ll call in Itey if they’re making an Italian dish) to kind of make sure he's not an idiot? They help explain where the dish comes from and what usually goes into it (Henry obv does research himself beforehand, but google def lies sometimes)

HENRY ALSO DABBLES IN FASHION. (HE'S THE ONLY NEWSIE WHO DOESN'T HAVE SEVEN THOUSAND COLORS ON HIM. ALL HIS CLOTHES ARE ROUGHLY THE SAME COLOR YOU CAN FIGHT ME)

Itey's channel is called Earning Your Laurels and they use yt to help people learn the Italian language, and about the Italian culture. Just kinda rambles during videos. Everyone thinks it’s cute as fuck. Especially Snitch. They share the yt channel, and Snitch uses the time to practice his Italian. Is very bad at it for a long time, pretends to still be bad for a while (but practices in secret to surprise Itey), and makes Itey cry on camera when he tells them this super big, heartfelt confession when he tells them he loves them for the first time. They leave it in the video so everyone can see. The fans go absolutely nuts over it.

Jojo's channel is called JojoPlaysShit only because he couldn't think of anything when he first started, but now he's too attached to the name

Les and Mush have competing souvenir collections. It's an actual competition. There are rules.

Les can beat almost anyone in the group at their favorite games. He's just naturally talented.

PLEASE BEAR WITH ME AS I MOMENTARILY RAMBLE ABOUT MIKE THIS IS MY FAVORITE IDEA IN THE ENTIRE AU Y'ALL

His channel is Dropping the Mike:

Bob Ross style tutorials Except he’s pretty fucking terrible at everything he tries. He’ll do painting tutorials, sewing tutorials, cross stitch, knitting, crocheting, etc etc etc The only thing he learns before doing the tutorials is the basics. Like literally 'how to knit'. He doesn't look up patterns or anything, just how to get it started. It’s actually a motivation channel. To let people know it’s okay to not be perfect at everything. They’re allowed to just do things for fun. He tries paper mache and is surprisingly good at it. And just stares at his creation in utter fucking shock and is like ‘how tf did I do this???’ and his fans expect him to keep doing paper mache but he never does it on camera again.  Or at least that’s the plan before a lot of them are like ‘why don’t you do it anymore? Why can’t we see this thing you’re good at?’ and Mike tries to explain that it kind of goes against the whole point of his channel and that he’s perfectly fine being bad at everything the public gets to see. The comment section of that video explodes with demands to see more.

Romeo's is also one of my favorites, please hold

Let’s Start a Fight: A conspiracy channel. Will connect anything to anything else. Also has a series that’s essentially a game show to pit his friends’ relationships against each other to see who has the most solid relationships. The thing is, the questions are entirely arbitrary and have nothing to do with the actual partnership. Some examples: Is Pluto a planet? Is a hotdog a sandwich? Which direction is toilet paper supposed to face? Is cereal a soup? Do you eat or drink soup? There’s at least one fistfight every episode. Only a few of them were staged.  The winner isn’t determined by points or anything.  The winner is the last couple standing. The last couple not arguing. Probably gets a tv or yt deal to make it an actual show.

I wanna turn it into an actual thing but I don't know enough people. So if anyone wants to help me make this a reality I will love you forever

[st4rchildd]

OKAY SO AM REALLY EEPY AND I JUST WOKE UP FROM A SOUL ACCENDING NAP AND I GOT SOME EDGY HEADCANON LET ME TALK MAH SHIT 🤍

okay so connie accidentally calls her mom pearl and pearl mom sometimes which was fine by them it's no biggie but here's the thing :

steven started getting a little jealous of connie because he hears her call pearl mom sometimes and pearl would treat it like a normal occurance but when once steven also slipped up and called pearl mom before, that made her cry so he started being more careful not to call her that because he thought he upset her so he didn't

understand why was she so normal about it when connie said it and not when he says it because after all she was the one to raise HIM she lives with HIM and if she's a mother in anyway possible than she's HIS mom and was very upset about the whole situation he literally didn't speak to connie for a week even when they trained so connie was like "dude wtf you're like my only friend wth happened" so she tryied to talk to him about it and he went FERAL like just full on mental break down about how he didn't understand why would she be upset with him but not with her for calling her mom and how he's starting to become not important to pearl and that connie was stealing his place (which of course wasn't true but the guy literally needs constant reassurance that he's loved or else he won't know that) so connie had to assure him that that was not true and was like "okay bud if you don't want me calling her that i won't just don't be mad at me okay ?" and started being more careful not to call pearl mom, at least not infront of steven, which is a change pearl happened to notice and was like "hey connie you didn't call me mom for a while what's up with that" and connie had to explain to her that steven got upset because she did so and that he doesn't think it's fair that it upsets you that he calls you that but when i do it it's absolutely fine which was actually shocking to pearl because she wasn't upset with steven when he called her mom she was too happy that he did so she cryied of joy and steven misunderstood that and thought that she was upset over it, she didn't immediately talk to steven about it but made a mental note to do so

some times later pearl got a call from steven to come pick him up cause he got in trouble with something, nothing serious he isn't in danger it's just that the situation required someone older to come get him and that he'll explain when she gets there so of course she did that when she arrived there she found out that steven kicked an asshat's butt and this person's parent was mad and determined to make steven apologize to their child and maybe even get to speak to his guardian which in this case happened to be pearl

as the entitled parent angrily explained everything and demanded that steven apologized pearl said

“yeah listen ma'am, i understand your frustration but steven is not apologizing for doing the right thing and standing up to others, if anything you should be the one who's trying to talk her child out of being a horrible person”

“HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT WHOEVER YOU MIGHT BE, am assuming not one of his parents concidering he addressed you by name on the phone earlier”

“well i actually happen to be his mother, and MY SON IS NOT APOLOGIZING FOR DOING WHAT'S RIGHT, STEVEN LET'S GO AM DONE SPEAKING WITH THIS- person...”

thoughts on this silly thing i randomly thought about I'll make more if y'all like these <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

[sarah-aliterarylife]

An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

Breaking up is hard to do, or so the song goes. I’ve never been very good at letting go of things that no longer make me happy, or things that never made me happy in the first place. I remained in a job that did immense damage to my mental health for 8 years, when I really should have left after 5. I stayed with a man I did not love for over 3 years. I have restricted my diet, and exercised to the point that I injured myself, because I thought that being slimmer would make me happy. As humans, we’re conditioned to stick things out, keep trying, persevere, even if that serves no other purpose than to make us unhappy. The same applies to the books in my life. The amount of times I’ve started a book and found it dull, uninspiring, or just downright awful, but couldn’t bring myself to put it down and read something else instead, amazes me. Why do we do this to ourselves? Are we so afraid of failure, or the sense of disappointment that comes with accepting that something just isn’t for us? Perhaps I commit to things too easily.

Once I’m in, I’m in, and I find it very difficult to remove myself emotionally. No matter how bad a book is or how little I connect to the narrative, a part of me has to see it through to the end. Perhaps I’m subconsciously hoping that it will get better, or that the ending will blow me away. An Abundance of Katherines by John Green is one such example of this. I am aware that the concept of a “bad” book is a very subjective one, and that John Green has millions of fans around the world who probably think that An Abundance of Katherines is a masterpiece. That’s ok, but I am not one of them. I thought it was dreadful. I chose An Abundance of Katherines because I had enjoyed two of John Green’s other novels, The Fault In Our Stars and Paper Towns (more on those in future instalments). It’s a novel that is aimed at a young adult audience. Yes, I hear you ask, why is a woman who is most certainly not a young adult reading books meant for teenagers? What did she expect? The truth is that there are some marvellous young adult novels whose reach extends far beyond their target audience. I think I hoped that this book would be the same. The novel tells the story of a teenage prodigy called Colin Singleton, whom you could say has a “type”. His “type” in this instance is girls named Katherine. Colin has dated 19 of them, to be exact. And every time he dates a girl called Katherine, she breaks up with him. Over 297 pages, Colin and his Judge-Judy loving best friend Hassan take a road trip (minus any Katherines) and attempt to solve The Theorem of Underlying Katherine Predictability – Colin’s words, not mine. They also try to avoid a bloodthirsty feral hog, and avenge everyone who has ever been dumped. Some hijinks involving a dead Austrian archduke and a moral about reinventing oneself ensue. Reviews of An Abundance of Katherines were largely positive. The Guardian describes it as “brilliant, quirky and fantastically nerdy”. I do not agree with this. Don’t get me wrong, I love a quirky narrative and fun characters who are somewhat left of centre, like Colin and his friend Hassan. But I found Colin to be a whiny, irritating sap. As a main character and a leading man, he is awful. No self respecting teenage girl (let alone 19 of them!) would ever date him. The constant use of anagrams drove me mad. The made-up words (fug? Jewfro?) got on my nerves. The Katherines themselves were unlikeable.

Most importantly, huge swaths of the novel were incredibly boring. I kept waiting for an interesting plot twist, or for one of the characters to do something unexpected, but nothing happened. The narrative proceeded exactly as I suspected it would. It was dreadfully dull in parts. I found it so mind-numbingly dull that I actually found excuses not to read it – I did our laundry, I cleared out the wardrobes, I baked a cake, I even went walking on Cannock Chase alone (!) as I was so desperate to have something else to do. I also wasn’t certain as a reader who the book was aimed at. The book contains many obscure references and footnotes that I suspected a young adult audience would not understand. If I had read it when I was a teenager, I don’t think I would have understood half of those references. Perhaps John Green is aware that, due to the success of his other novels, his audience has widened to include adults as well? And yet, I stuck with An Abundance of Katherines all the way to the end. Why did I do this? Perhaps I identified with Colin. I have been told in the past that I too have a “type” - the difference between me and Colin being that I haven’t dated 19 of them! The simplest and most likely answer is, I hate not to finish a book. I enjoy the sense of achievement that comes with completing a novel and starting afresh with a new one, like a new chapter in my life. For me not to finish a book, it must be truly terrible or (and this is very important) it must have the ability to send me to sleep on more than one occasion. Admittedly I came pretty close with An Abundance of Katherines, but it was summertime, the nights were long, the weather was warm, and it was only 297 pages long. I think a part of me must have thought, what the hell? Let’s finish it and move onto something else. Quickly. I have the greatest respect for John Green as a young adult novelist. I thoroughly enjoyed my previous forays into his work, and the fact that he has played such a key role in getting young adults interested in reading, and covers sensitive subjects such as mental health and terminal cancer so effectively, is to be celebrated. But this book really wasn’t my cup of tea. Perhaps next time I will share with you a list of the books I couldn’t finish! (It will be quite short)

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy & Casey Pt.1

Janis: [after clearly having run through this house to get Casey’s phone and also as obviously getting Bibi out like we got a dog, surprise, go see it please, coming back in and locating wherever this boy is just like ?]

Jimmy: [Lord knows how long he’s been back from work but regardless he is not ready for this, nor am I, babe, just like ? so… because he obvs got and read the note and knows whatever she wrote there but it’s bare bones and Casey did not take his phone so has heard nothing from him, I like to think he was in the kitchen making a tea because he’s him and therefore is just also making her one now as if everything isn’t about to come crashing down]

Janis: [slightly rude but we are lowkey staring at you in disbelief because this is the problem, like really, we’re just going to have tea now but we don’t wanna start this when we’re so clearly in the wrong by shouting at you so we’re just letting you make this tea despite the ridiculousness of the moment ‘Police didn’t show then’ we obviously gathered as much but that’s about all your note went into so where else are you going to start]

Jimmy: [it’s the way he CLEARLY hasn’t looked at her yet since she came in because if he had he’d notice the lovebites she’s literally covered in cos nobody is that checked out and still hasn’t when he shakes his head no to answer that question, tea is important and your love language sure, but it’s not THIS important, acknowledge her please, you’re already killing me Jimothy and it’s only the very beginning]

Janis: [I’m sure we did our best to cover them up but we know you went mental with it so it’d still be obvious if you took a second to see, I’m sure Bibi clocked it and it made them all the more difficult to get out and gone, not now children; just nodding like that checks out ‘anything else?’]

Jimmy: [the fact it’s winter and Casey was heading and thus herding them straight out will have done you a lot of favours in hiding the feralness of the evidence but there’s only so much that can be done, and now you’re in the kitchen you can’t be keeping a coat on for the duration of this convo, ugh I hate that this boy is just answering you with a shrug meant for the what else is there to say or do about the Casey situation, I get it, you feel like you failed and are at your wits end re him potentially turning into Ian but all the more reason to have emotion about it, still has not looked at her, is still making this tea like a robot]

Janis: [it makes sense but we’re past the point that this is an acceptable way to try and not have this conversation ‘right, well, everyone hasn’t pissed off out for you to have fuck all to say about it’ because what else can you say]

Jimmy: [‘you two pissed off out before letting me have any say’ it’s words but I truly cannot stress how flat they are while I’m here like please be mad or sad about it, literally anything ‘bit late now’ too true, if only you knew, hun]

Janis: [‘how is it?’ with the, he isn’t in prison, energy of it all ‘you could’ve called’]

Jimmy: [‘and have said what?’ because truly at this point you’re not gonna do anything about it, are you babe, just resigned to having another Ian in your life as if that’s remotely how this is gonna play out]

Janis: [‘precisely, fuck all point pretending you had something to say’ just pacing about this kitchen currently ‘even Libi fucking text’ like do you not see how messed up that is]

Jimmy: [‘never had one from you last I checked’ like this goes both ways, you did not call or text me either]

Janis: [‘I left’ like how is that not loud enough of a message here because I’m sorry, it is ‘what the fuck has happened to you?’ so sad]

Jimmy: [‘and I’ve been sat here waiting for you to get back’ like you know how fucked up that is, we’ve been there before many a time though obvs not for many years ‘why would you just leave?’ because you do have a point there, not the best plan ever]

Janis: [‘that isn’t a reaction, you aren’t doing anything’ just like can you not see that ‘I’m not saying I did the right thing, or I knew what to do but I had to do something and I did’]

Jimmy: [‘it ain’t alright for him to run off from what he’s done and you can’t keep…’ trailing off and not elaborating on whether we mean letting him act like this, also running away yourself/just reacting or both ‘none of us are kids’ sound more old and tired, truly]

Janis: [‘I know it ain’t but she should’ve called the police, it isn’t for either of us to do’ shrugging, not as nonchalant as that sounds but we’re not snitching on this random girl’s behalf, not soz ‘she’s gone, anyway’]

Jimmy: [‘prison’s not a fix’ because it isn’t, putting someone somewhere with people who are as or more violent as they already are isn’t gonna do anything good, putting this tea down in front of her, not even handing it to her, I could cry]

Janis: [just here like don’t smash it off the wall don’t smash it off the wall, we’re not touching it though because this is stupid and we’re not pretending otherwise ‘nah, you need to talk, to therapists and each other’ like there’s a fix ‘none of this can carry on, we all know that’]

Jimmy: [‘see if you can get him to’ because Casey only listens to her and that has been the tea for such a long time we’re not even being as petty as that sounds, with a shrug because Jimothy clearly doesn’t think that’s about to happen, which is valid given that it hasn’t yet and Casey’s assumed headspace and lost cause status from this POV]

Janis: [‘you heard me say you need to talk’ emphasis on the YOU in both senses there]

Jimmy: [‘so he can give me a smack an’ all’ like yeah great idea because that’s truly how these two trying to talk goes ‘I’m alright for it, tah’]

Janis: [‘you need a mediator and it isn’t me’ with all the !! because that worked excellently]

Jimmy: [‘I’m not the one who puts you in as referee’ we all see you entirely blaming Casey for her being in the middle like you don’t also use her as a means to communicate with your own brother]

Janis: [shaking our head because this is getting away from us actually talking about this like no ‘yeah, I do’ like you know that, you must see that ‘like I ran away with him’]

Jimmy: [‘he’s getting worse’ because again true from your POV of he smacked that girl and he hasn’t before but you’re just shamelessly glossing over the responsibility she tried to take there and putting it back on Casey, it’s a no thank you from me ‘you tried to sort it, right or wrong’]

Janis: [‘we all are, this situation is at breaking point, it’s not just him, for God’s sake’ like let us acknowledge the state of ourselves here, please ‘and it’s completely wrong, I wasn’t sorting anything for any good reason’]

Jimmy: [‘yeah, it were up to me and I should’ve-’ so blinkered about this Casey situation as if that’s all she means because genuinely he is that upset about it and the way he thinks it’s heading whereas he thinks y’all are fine and wanna have a baby together, another shrug because literally does not know what to do with his brother at this point nor has he clearly for a long time, a sigh]

Janis: [‘none of you are responsible for the shit that happened when you were kids, it’s all of your actions now, and you can only claim your own’ trying to force eye contact like please understand what I am trying to say here ‘if you don’t stop seeing him as your personal failure, nothing is going to get better than this, he’s your brother, you have to talk to him like a person’]

Jimmy: [‘I failed him as a brother then and I still keep on doing’ because the hill he will die on and there’s no moving him off the top of it ‘we can’t even talk’ true but you do need to at least try]

Janis: [‘you can’ with the softness of being aware you have not for a long time but the conviction of no, no one’s dead, it is possible ‘and he wants to and you will but…’ trailing off ‘cos oh lordy ‘I have to tell you first, don’t I’]

Jimmy: [looking up at the but as it trails off but only making eye contact so we’re not actually taking in the state of you yet ‘with your coat on?’ with the soft bants that we gotta use because worried now ‘least look like you’re staying first’]

Janis: [when this is so much worse but also all you’ve been trying to achieve, casually like oh I might genuinely vomit now, cool ‘you’re going to hate him but then everything is over, it’s done and it’s a clean slate and you can start again’ slightly babbling because you have to say this because it’s your genuine belief and intention but you don’t wanna sound like a patronising bitch so you’re saying it as fast as possible to just get it out there ‘give it time, time you have’]

Jimmy: [‘you’ meaning you start again, because can’t take in what you’re saying or what you mean at the speed of light, reaching out to be like whoa slow down literally, but still as soft about everything cos nothing has hit yet]

Janis: [trying to take the breaths that you didn’t between all those words ‘Jimmy-’ because have to actually address him and address this ‘- you know, how I feel about Casey, that it’s more than I should, you know that, don’t you?’ because we’re pretty sure that you do, the evidence is there]

Jimmy: [speaking of, so lightly touching a lovebite that’s been there the entire time it’s like did you even]

Janis: [just nodding like yes, it happened because we’re taking it as acknowledgment]

Jimmy: [he’s just silently in tears rn, I hate it thanks]

Janis: [‘I’m sorry’ as flatly as you were before, not because we feel nothing but because we’re really trying not to unfairly sway you in any sort of way here, hence we’re furiously rubbing our eyes like don’t you dare]

Jimmy: [this boy just shutting down here, it’s begun, could not be dissociating further away from this kitchen, proud of you for still being upright even though we know it’s on autopilot]

Janis: [‘I should have never have done it this way and I shouldn’t have kept it from you by us not acknowledging it’ just being so factual because it’s the only thing you can safely do when you’re this close to doing the opposite and having a complete emotional meltdown]

Jimmy: [‘you said, I know’ so quiet and so far away but the way he’s already taking the blame for this is so important I gotta show it]

Janis: [shaking our head like no because we know you and we’re not gonna just be like yep that’s true ‘no, you didn’t know I would ever cheat on you, betray you like that’]

Jimmy: [shaking his own head because convinced immediately it’s his own fault that she did, we all know this ‘it’s my fault’ sir you’re hurting my heart]

Janis: [moving towards you since we’ve been silently cringing up from you into a casual ball here because likewise and stop it ‘no it is not, it’s mine, I did it and you should hate me’ literally like you MUST like listen to me]

Jimmy: [‘I let you go’ literally with him because you really did hun yeah, no text even, really]

Janis: [‘you said yourself, you thought I was helping him, you was just seeing the best in me like always’ because we can’t say you should’ve known even though you kinda shoulda because we’re not allowing anything but this is all my fault and that needs to stick in your brain]

Jimmy: [‘never hate you, Jules’ as if he’s replying to the 2nd bit of what she said and none of the rest has been spoken yet or at all because that’s the level of far away he do be, me out here using that nickname like a fucking dagger in the heart actually, Shakespeare would be so proud]

Janis: [Winnie and Shakespeare are applauding and I am screeching ‘stop it!’ and pushing him but far more gently than those words came out because you’re scaring us we aren’t trying to scare you back]

Jimmy: [I did it in the OG and it killed me then so I had to bring it back somewhere and somehow, the way there is no reaction to either her words or her actions is as terrifying and I hate it]

Janis: [casually getting more hysterical and frantic repeating his name and stop it over and over like he’s going to snap out of it]

Jimmy: [it’s like that trope where someone’s over a dead body being hysterical like wake up, because he might as well be dead other than the fact he’s still got tears streaming down his face, somebody come and pick me up I don’t wanna be here, thanks, the more feral she is the more shut down he’ll be, it’s horrid]

Janis: [it’s giving exactly that, hence you have to literally exhaust yourself with your own sobbing and hitting and retching and all the rest before you stop because it isn’t working and isn’t going to and that’s the only way you’re going to stop]

Jimmy: [at least there’s not also a screaming newborn here this time, I sure do hope the nosy neighbours are out though, that’s the last thing anyone needs rn]

Janis: [this is nothing to do with you, mr and mrs, stay out of it, although anything or anyone that would actually be of any help here we would take because we’re terrified and do not know what to do]

Jimmy: [she’s gonna have to get Casey back to help her move him cos can’t stay here like this in this kitchen forever but also make it clear that Bibi need to be told to fuck off to one of her other residences because they would be no help rn]

Janis: [you’re going to have to manage somehow to text him because there is 0 chance you’re phoning in this state, should we swap in this convo as we did before because there isn’t anything more you can say or do with Jimmy right now]

Jimmy: [yeah, I’ll switch, I can always go back and forth if there is any more Jimothy to be done how we did before]

Janis: [yep, we can reference until it makes sense to be Jimmy again]

Janis: Do not bring them back here

Casey: It’ll just be me

Janis: you’ll have to take him his school things, he has to stay away

Casey: I’ll sort it

Janis: right

Casey: be there in a sec

Janis: let them take the dog too, probably

Janis: I don’t know, I don’t think it’ll help

Casey: I’ve already said they have to

Janis: it’s a good idea then

Casey: keep them busy anyway

Janis: I didn’t even tell him about the dog

Janis: he must’ve seen it, must’ve

Casey: don’t worry about none of that right now

Janis: it’s bad

Casey: I know, I’m coming

Janis: I’m sorry

Casey: don’t worry about none of that right now neither

Janis: no I’m sorry I’ve broken him

Casey: it’s gonna be okay, I know what to do

Janis: good

Casey: [come back because he deliberately would’ve stayed close by anticipating on some level that something like this would occur, the way she’d just hear him running about upstairs getting Bobby’s shit together and then leave to go and give it to him because tackling that first, one thing at a time]

Casey: Bob’s nearly done, I’ll be back again as quick

Janis: [won’t be moving from this kitchen regardless so you do what you gotta do boy]

Janis: I heard you

Casey: I got nowt from you, take some deep breaths for me, alright

Janis: I done too much

Casey: please, just one more thing

Janis: I’ll try

Casey: I won’t ask you for owt else, promise

Janis: I ruined everything

Casey: it’s the shock making everything feel like that, I’ll get you sorted too

Janis: I tried hitting him it didn’t work

Janis: you can’t touch him 

Casey: I’m only gonna get him upstairs to his bed

Casey: I won’t hurt him

Janis: I didn’t mean that, that you would

Casey: it’s alright

Janis: I tried, I told him you wanted to talk

Casey: I can wait

Janis: maybe you should’ve gone first actually

Casey: maybe it’d have gone worse that way, there’s no telling any road, it’s done, that’s what matters

Janis: how could I

Janis: I don’t even know myself

Casey: I know you and that all you’ve done is what you had to

Janis: I didn’t have to do this to you, any of yous

Casey: yeah you did

Janis: I haven’t even asked how you are

Casey: no need, I’ll be through the door in a bit and then you can see there’s nothing to worry about

Janis: and you know what to do, yeah

Casey: I’ve done it before, he’s lighter than Ian and I’m massive compared to how I were first time he needed helping to bed

Janis: he feels heavy

Casey: easy to forget you’re a lass sometimes

Janis: hey

Casey: you know what I mean

Janis: I mean he’s deadweight

Casey: you heard me, nothing I can’t hack

Janis: it’s horrible

Casey: yeah, but I’m here now, listen

Casey: [come through and fully take charge of this like it’s your job, just hauling the sack of potatoes that is your catatonic brother away]

Janis: [we’re clearly here on the kitchen floor in shock but not catatonic because we’re able to text and take in what is happening around us even if we’re not fully firing on all cylinders here]

Casey: [out here tucking his brother up in bed and then coming to pick her up off the kitchen floor and put her on the sofa tucked up in a blanket with a glass of water and another of brandy or something for the shock, all before he can finally stop and actually take a breath and sit down himself]

Janis: [sorry we are uncovering ourself to pace but we will drink the brandy at least ‘is he better?’ like you expected him to really sort everything there]

Casey: [‘he needs time, same as you’ not including yourself in it too, boy, I see you acting like you’re fine ‘I’ll go up and check how he is in a bit’ just a nurse doing checks nbd]

Janis: [‘you’re going to look after him’ making eye contact like please confirm that]

Casey: [nod ‘he’s my brother’ when that hits you and you can’t keep the eye contact because you’ve gotta put your head in your hands like oh no]

Janis: [‘I’m sorry’ because you likewise need to say it to him and out loud]

Casey: [immediately lifting his head back up like that was a 1 second blip and now he’s FINE and shaking it like no don’t that’s also fine because how he’s deciding to deal with this, getting up to sort the state of the kitchen out because she was screaming crying perfect storm on the floor there for god knows how long, she could’ve thrown up on it or anything]

Janis: [following him and pushing your empty brandy glass at him ‘you need one’]

Casey: [soz to baby Jac that he forgot you might exist there, thank god he isn’t pregnant because pouring one and immediately downing it before cleaning this floor and then another one after he has]

Janis: [trying to tell you it can wait but before we’ve even managed to you’ve basically done it so it’s rendered pointless ‘I’ll have to go’ because yes, you probably should]

Casey: [looking at her like !! because his instinct is to be like DON’T but she does need to and his even stronger instinct is to get her away from this so that he’s the only one who has to look after Jimothy in this state cos of how heartbreaking it is ‘Where?’ eventually when he can force himself to get calm words out]

Janis: [likewise it is so against our entire being to leave because we feel like this is our mess and we’re leaving you to deal with it but we’re also aware that that’s how it should be and feeling like without us here, it’s going to be better and easier because we’re the actual problem so we have to, shrugging because we don’t exactly know and we definitely don’t care but she has family so you don’t need to worry ‘where are they?’ when you can also speak again, meaning Bobby and Libi because no sense turning up wherever they are, obviously]

Casey: [‘your nan’s’ because it makes the most sense seeing as he chucked Chubby at them to go to mcvickers who have no pets by now rather than the cali gaff which has all the cats and farm animals ‘I’ll drive you to your mum’s, or your sister’s’ just meaning Billie’s gaff there cos she’s your fave, clearly aren’t gonna wanna go to Grace’s or Rio’s rn or ever]

Janis: [just nodding because yes it does but then shaking your head as definitively ‘you need to stay here together’]

Casey: [‘I’ll ring her to pick you up then’ meaning either your mother or Billie here because in no state to drive yourself especially not if you were planning to go to the cali residence in the middle of nowhere]

Janis: [‘I can take care of myself’ not in the tone that that phrase usually implies but in the, that’s what we have to do now, way ‘you too’ looking up again like promise]

Casey: [another nod because he knows she can and also he will himself, though it’s debatable how true the latter is trying to nurse Jimothy, he nevertheless means it in this moment]

Janis: [doing a deep exhale like okay then, rubbing our eyes again before walking away]

Casey: [losing all his composure and pulling her back and into the most dramatic hug of all time]

Janis: [when you know you’re going to start sobbing again ‘I can’t-’ like I can’t hold on]

Casey: [fully just holding her like a Clove the way he does when she is sobbing even though she isn’t yet]

Janis: [‘we can’t-’ no need to fully express all the things you can’t do right now but we are hugging you back as dramatically ‘I’m so fucking sorry, Casey’]

Casey: [shhing her in a we don’t need to do this rn way but also just a comforting way]

Janis: [‘it isn’t fair’ not expanding on how we mean that]

Casey: [‘no it ain’t, but-’ no need to elaborate because however she means it, it is what it is and we all know he doesn’t have as many regrets as he should have and would do it all again]

Janis: [pressing our forehead into yours so hard ‘don’t forget’]

Casey: [doing it back cos he can’t and won’t ‘none of it’]

Janis: [shaking our head because likewise, just crying straight onto his face right now because we can’t help any of this]

Casey: [so gently wiping her face but not his own because that sums this boy up]

Janis: [one of you has to break this hug and neither of you wants to, it’s going to have to be you girl because you’ve already had to do it to Jimmy]

Casey: [this boy would be sobbing if he could, I hate Ian for denying him that when it hurts so much to not when you need to]

Janis: [I feel sick and this isn’t actually happening to me lmao, cup his face and wipe away the imaginary tears before you move away this time for real]

Casey: [the way he’d have to physically stop himself from pulling her back in and she’d see it happen is upsetting me]

Janis: [really do go run and puke, sorry, we can make it outside]

Casey: [bringing her the water from earlier that she did not touch before and cleaning her up however is necessary depending on the state you got yourself into with it gal as well as making her drink some]

Janis: [when you need to be like you have to look after yourself, and trust me to look after myself, because that’s literally what we just agreed on and it’s not going to work if we don’t try but all that comes out is just a noise and !! eye contact, but we are drinking some of this water]

Casey: [‘just- let me help you’ with the unspoken if this is the last time hanging there between you both because literally don’t know when you’re gonna see her again or where she’s actually going rn]

Janis: [the reply in that we are letting you, and having this glass of water and not bolting away]

Casey: [giving her a layer of clothing to replace one of hers that is puke splattered inevitably and it feels so much like a goodbye he and I can’t deal]

Janis: [when you should really let this be closure and over but the point is you do fail so you say ‘I’ll be back for my stuff’ like a response to the goodbye there, not that you could ever just disappear but you’re meant to be being slightly more final than this, girl]

Casey: [when you can’t cope with hearing that because when her stuff is gone it will be like she’s properly gone and you don’t want that and can’t deal so you literally gotta just run back into this house but closing none of the doors or anything because that’s like shutting her out]

Janis: [so sorry it’s so much harder to leave someone who hasn’t left themselves, ugh, really just here knowing you need to leave now but just wanting to follow him so badly, give yourself a second in this garden]

Casey: [I picture him on the stairs because he was gonna fully run up and probs check on Jimothy because he’s him and trying to cope but only made it part of the way and is just sat there like a sad and scared child during a parental argument, and I don’t wanna picture that thank you brain]

Janis: [I hate it, I hate it]

Casey: [something is gonna get broken because anger is the only emotion he knows how to properly express, I dread to think what that’ll be]

Janis: [at least no one is here to freak out right now, whatever it is can’t be as important as expressing some emotions, sorry]

Casey: [and it’ll give you something else to clean up afterwards which is clearly how you’re dealing rn, boy, so]

Janis: [sorry that we’re not waiting to be picked up because we are just going to walk and walk until we eventually end up at someone’s house, be that our mother’s or sister’s, because likewise how we’re coping/not]

Casey: [probably Ali’s realistically because it’s further away and makes the most sense if you’re on autopilot since you grew up there, you can always go to Billie’s later gal, we can even do a convo if we wanna before you do]

Janis: [that’s what I was thinking, it just makes sense, even if we are walking with no place in mind, you can end up there eventually]

Casey: [your mothers will take care of you in a chill way when you eventually show up, don’t need to be dealing with Billie’s husband rn]

Janis: [no, that is definitely not the move, we just need to be alone honestly as we can’t be where we wanna be, ‘scuse us everyone]

Casey: [such fun, thanks so much Winnie]

Janis: [as per, going against what we say immediately because do have to message you, say this is some point in our wander, not being specific timewise]

Janis: if you need to, or he needs me, call me and I’ll come whenever, okay

Casey: Okay

Janis: sure he won’t but so you know, if you need help you still have it

Casey: I don’t

Janis: alright

Casey: alright then

Janis: in a bit

Casey: when you’re round collecting your stuff, yeah

Janis: I don’t know when that’ll be, whenever someone tells me I have to change what I’m wearing, I guess

Casey: whenever I’ll be about, have to, he’s not gonna be answering the door, is he

Janis: no, I’m going to call his work, I know some of them, a bit, make some sense coming from me

Casey: more than it would me, can’t do your accent

Janis: going to sound like a sick fucking joke anyway

Casey: probably don’t go into none of the details, like

Janis: how else can I get him signed off sick

Janis: again, he’s not going to go down the doctors and say he can’t move or speak or none of it

Casey: lie, that’s what you do to doctors

Janis: I’m not going to lay it out scene by scene but the bones of it have to be the same

Casey: you gonna get me a sick note an’ all then

Janis: don’t

Janis: I’m just trying to think of the shit I have to do that you can’t

Casey: I can’t do anything except be here on fucking suicide watch, just as well I’ll have been sacked for us doing a runner already

Janis: fine, I’ll come back and you go

Casey: no

Casey: said yourself he’s too heavy for you

Janis: I can do it

Casey: can ain’t should

Janis: you said he’s your brother, do you want it to be you or do you want it to be me

Janis: because he’s still my husband so just say 

Casey: I have said

Janis: all I’m trying to do is the right thing

Janis: better late than never

Casey: me too, it ain’t right for you to be here doing none of what I’m gonna have to before he’s any better

Janis: I don’t know

Casey: exactly, you’ve never had to and you’re never gonna have to

Janis: no I mean I don’t know if it shouldn’t be me

Casey: it’s out your hands, mate, I’ve got no other job, this is about to be my full time

Janis: it’s not

Casey: it is

Janis: not until he can say so, it isn’t

Casey: you can crack on trying to have an argument with me about it all you like

Janis: I’m not arguing, it’s just facts

Casey: fact is I’m doing it and you’re not and we ain’t swapping no matter what you say

Janis: I’m still allowed to care

Casey: haven’t stopped you

Janis: didn’t say you had either just

Casey: leave it out, how about we both just do that

Janis: yeah, that’s a good idea

Casey: in a bit, for real this time

Janis: do you think I did the right thing yes or no

Casey: For who

Janis: everyone

Casey: I don’t reckon there is a right for everyone

Janis: thought you’d say that

Janis: him, then

Casey: would you rather I said total bollocks or what

Casey: you’ve done your best by him since you met the dickhead

Janis: no but it was still worth asking, on the off chance

Casey: on the off chance of

Janis: you deciding to placate me with total bollocks

Janis: or me not having done this time, as I’ve fucked up my track record lately so

Casey: I’m not your husband, leave that to him soon as he’s up for it again

Janis: tah

Casey: keep second guessing yourself and trying to take over from us, you’ll have me thinking I’m a proper shit nurse

Janis: I’m not second guessing you, am I

Casey: if you thought I could hack it you’d leave me to it

Janis: you heard, I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, that’s it

Casey: then come back and work out how that feels

Janis: maybe

Casey: it’s only me here and I didn’t tell you to go

Janis: you wouldn’t, that’s why I had to

Casey: you didn’t and don’t have to, that’s why I wouldn’t

Janis: I don’t know how to do any of this, any more than you

Casey: I know how to look after you, you know how to let me

Janis: I’m not the one that needs it

Casey: he’s not the only one who does, more like

Janis: I can’t stop seeing his face

Casey: I should’ve been there with you

Janis: I’m glad you didn’t see though

Casey: we both did it to him, we should’ve told him together

Janis: you didn’t promise to not, in front of everyone

Casey: he’s my brother, not fucking his missus goes without saying

Janis: I don’t know how it could be but I’m sure it would’ve been worse if we’d told him together  

Casey: maybe for him but not for you, must’ve been in that state ages, the both of you, before you messaged

Janis: I can’t remember

Casey: that part of it wouldn’t have been as bad if I’d been about

Janis: it deserved to be every bit as bad as it was

Casey: bollocks did it 

Janis: how else would we realise what we did, you’ve seen him since, you know

Casey: we already fucking knew what we did, you on the kitchen floor has sod all to do with that, you wanna punish yourself ‘cause he won’t punish you

Janis: why does it matter, it doesn’t

Casey: it’s you who tells me all the time what a shit idea going to my dad’s is and why 

Janis: I said I’d look after myself now, I don’t lie

Casey: pushing me away’s hurting yourself, dickhead

Janis: bighead much

Casey: nobody wants you in the same state as him, it won’t snap Jim out of his or make fuck all better

Janis: I’m not going to, I can’t, even if I wanted to get to where he is, I couldn’t

Casey: the point is, you chucking loads and loads more misery on yourself don’t take away his

Janis: I’ve heard you, okay

Janis: not gonna act like it’s easy to think I should feel anything but guilt when he’s stuck like that still

Casey: I’m not asking you to feel any different

Janis: what are you asking then

Casey: nothing, I said I wouldn’t after the deep breaths

Janis: I did them, didn’t I

Casey: do them again

Janis: as it isn’t a new request, technically 

Casey: I’ll repeat the please an’ all if it swings it

Janis: just make me sad

Casey: alright, you never heard it

Janis: we can pretend that much

Casey: Just

Casey: keep on feeling how I know you do about us, no different

Janis: even though it can’t change what we have to do

Casey: in spite of fucking everything

Janis: okay

Casey: I love you, I can’t not

Janis: I know

Janis: if anything would make it go away, it would’ve been his face but

Casey: but you still love me too

Janis: yes

Janis: but we can’t be together and it was really fucking misguided and stupid of me to think that we could

Casey: we can’t at the minute but one day

Janis: I don’t know

Janis: I can’t make more promises to you that I don’t know if I can keep

Casey: he’ll get his head round it, everybody will, you do know that, your sister got married to your cousin and for how fucking weird that were nobody’s really bothered now

Janis: will he

Casey: he’ll have to

Janis: I know the alternative hasn’t moved since you put him to bed

Casey: it’s only been hours, like

Janis: I can’t work in no bigger, minutes is better

Casey: he’s still breathing, all of us are

Janis: yeah, true

Casey: there’s as minute by minute as you can get

Janis: I know you’re scared too

Casey: which is about as much use as your guilt, I know what I’m doing, shock wears off

Casey: he’ll come back

Janis: you don’t have to be useful all the time, not if you need to be something else

Janis: you’re looking after him, anything else in the meantime

Casey: what I need’s what got us here in the first place

Janis: you know what I was trying to say

Casey: it don’t need saying

Janis: alright, you promised too, I get it

Casey: yeah

Janis: it wouldn’t hurt to hear it again, not asking anything new

Casey: I promise, owt you want me to

Janis: that’s too broad, may as well promise nothing if you promise everything

Casey: not if I mean you can have everything and keep to it

Janis: I’m not going to ask

Janis: just look after yourself too, like you said

Casey: I said I will so I will

Janis: I’ll stop banging on then

Janis: and focus on where I’m going

Casey: don’t sound like something you’d do but if you’re gonna change massively, it would be after bollocks like this 😏

Janis: fingers crossed, like

Casey: yours might be but I’m making no promises to be chuffed to bits if you do

Janis: everything changed real quick there 😏

Casey: I like how you are, ain’t gonna pretend to like some new dickhead if I don’t

Janis: I fucking don’t

Casey: you did something fucked, don’t make you a fucked person, what I’ve heard from somewhere or some dickhead

Janis: I’ve got some questions for that dickhead

Casey: I’ll pass ‘em on if I ever see her again

Janis: still breathing, last I checked

Casey: still no need to memorise you then

Janis: it might be a good idea to take down the photos and X my eyes out though

Casey: he can do that if it’s his own idea

Janis: cathartic, fair point

Casey: I can’t even spell it never mind put it in someone else’s head

Janis: far as bedtime stories go

Casey: our kid’s the only one who got them anyway

Janis: when he’s back, I can tell Libi she has to give the house a wide berth

Casey: long as she gives me my dog back she can do what else she likes, I’ll tell her what I told you, to stay the fuck out of it

Janis: I’ll talk to her, soon but not today

Casey: I’ll talk to her and she’ll listen if she knows what good for her, they both will

Janis: you can but I want to

Casey: they’re not seeing him how he is

Janis: he might try for them, for that reason

Casey: it’s worked before, when he was hurt he’d stop crying about it when Bob were there

Janis: it could be worth a shot

Janis: they’d have to be warned though or it’s fucked

Casey: I’m not gonna just chuck them in the room with him, what kind of bastard

Janis: of course not

Janis: but I’m saying let me tell them why it’s happened, or Libi if Bobby is too awkward and she can tell him for me

Casey: reckon she knows, way she was going on at us for the full dog walk, but go on

Janis: she’s not stupid but still, can’t say I didn’t tell her myself 

Casey: already hate me the pair of ‘em, I’ve nowt to lose there so I’ll not be stopping you if that’s what you wanna do

Janis: they don't hate you, it’s more complicated and shit than that

Janis: wanna is strong but I know they know and it’s making me feel sick again

Janis: should’ve invested in some heavy duty concealer 

Casey: complicated’s strong for either of them two

Casey: everything’s black and white far as me and Jim go and there’s no prizes for guessing what colour I am

Janis: it doesn’t matter if you and Libi don’t get on but you can sort things with Bobby like you can Jimmy

Casey: not now I’ve done this, girl

Janis: you’re there for him now

Casey: don’t matter, I can’t undo that with top quality nursing, he’ll get better and tell me to piss off and I will

Janis: then pick his side

Casey: no

Janis: don’t you want that

Casey: you’re all I’ve ever wanted, you know that

Janis: but they’re your brothers and you could actually have them be there for you, not feel left out of their shit

Casey: in what fucking fairytale, they don’t know how to be there for me and without you they wouldn’t wanna ‘cause I do worse shit than anything we have, however bad you feel about it right now

Janis: I’m angry with him

Casey: he’s a twat, that don’t change ‘cause he can’t get out of bed as well as

Janis: it’s because he can’t, it’s like he’s getting to sit out the fallout of our fucking marriage and there’s nothing I can do about it

Casey: it’s what he does

Casey: he was the same when mum went

Janis: fuck’s sake

Casey: and you wanted to bring a kid up with him

Janis: that’s not helpful right now

Casey: true though, and it were you said I don’t have to be helpful all the time

Janis: sure, thanks then, I hadn’t forgotten

Casey: I dunno how you ain’t been angry with him every day since you met him

Janis: it wasn’t like this then it happened gradually

Casey: it weren’t that far off

Janis: not back then, before the wedding

Casey: I told you, he’s been like it since mum, ages

Casey: that’s always for you

Janis: not to me

Casey: still deserve a medal

Janis: oh yeah, be general consensus that

Casey: what does anybody else know, reckoned you and him should’ve won all the awards, didn’t they

Janis: I was pretending to be less fucked up than I am

Casey: and they fell for it, piss easy, but you don’t have to pretend no more

Janis: is that meant to be comforting or are you letting me know how much of a failure everyone’s gonna know I am

Casey: isn’t it comforting, you can just live your actual life, be the dickhead you really are

Janis: you can moonlight as an inspirational speaker

Casey: might, carer’s allowance is sod all a week

Janis: oh God

Casey: come on

Janis: I can’t I already don’t feel bad enough because I’m too busy being pissed off

Casey: it’s not like you’re having loads of fun being pissed off, made it sound like a job there, I reckon that means you feel bad

Janis: don’t think that means I should give finding any of it funny a go though

Casey: have to laugh or you’ll cry and you’ll be the only one ‘cause I can’t

Janis: I’m surprised your tear ducts haven’t burst before now

Casey: challenge accepted

Janis: shh

Casey: I cried when she didn’t come back, it’s only been, what, a few years, give them a fair chance to piss blood out or whatever happens when you don’t except for your stuff

Janis: how long did it take, for Ian to get worried

Casey: I dunno, a week maybe, could say he was slightly bothered

Janis: long enough it’s not proving a point or something else stupid

Casey: long enough you miss having your tea on the table when you get in

Janis: when do you think he stopped being scared

Casey: he still is

Janis: yeah, reckon you’re right

Casey: it’ll stop when his heart gives out, same as it will for me

Janis: you wanna make sure my tear ducts still work, I get it

Casey: even when I don’t remember proper what she looks like, I still see her everywhere, but he ain’t gone like that and I won’t let him

Casey: you don’t have to be scared of it

Janis: it’s not right, even if she didn’t mean it

Janis: you can’t do that to people, they don’t forget, not the feeling

Casey: he wouldn’t do it to you, or Bob and Libi, whatever you did, not after our mum and Libi’s

Janis: maybe it’s selfish, what if that’s what he wants

Casey: tough shit, he’s not having it, they need him

Janis: they do

Casey: I’ll get him back for you an’ all

Janis: no, just get him back and get him help

Casey: only so as you don’t carry more guilt than you already are, he’s not keeping you, I ain’t a saint all of a sudden

Janis: was worried there

Casey: be more than a bit rude to give you no say in getting back with him or nah

Janis: we deserve better

Casey: we can have it even if we don’t, shit ain’t given out on a deserving basis or our kid wouldn’t be the one of us who’s deaf

Janis: when it is a choice though, he can choose, when he feels better

Casey: can he

Janis: he hasn’t loved me since I don’t know when

Casey: but if he chooses you, you’ll try it again, with him, that’s what you just said

Janis: no, I meant, he’ll choose to actually be happy

Janis: not do whatever the fuck it is we were doing, I know it

Casey: what about you

Janis: I said we

Casey: you said we can’t, why does he get to choose to be happy but you don’t

Janis: you know why

Casey: I know it’s bollocks

Janis: I don’t care about being happy right now, I can’t think that far ahead, I told you

Casey: I heard you

Janis: letting myself get carried away with future shit is what got us here

Casey: no it isn’t, you had to tell him and he was always gonna react like this, we were gonna be here no matter what you did or didn’t let yourself get carried away with

Janis: I’m talking about the kid I may or may not have brought into it

Janis: I shouldn’t have to be adding getting pregnancy tests to the list right now, it’s fucked that I thought that was a good idea, you said it yourself

Casey: fucked for you and him

Janis: why not us

Casey: you know why not us, don’t fucking say that to me like you don’t get what the differences are

Janis: I shouldn’t have acted like that was something we could do, if I’d put it off the table, then you wouldn’t have wanted it or thought to

Casey: it is something we could do, stop acting like it’s not

Casey: or like I’m just carried away and a twat

Janis: You wanted to get sorted, you’ve got ideas and they’re good

Janis: I’m making everyone’s life shitter

Casey: I’d have months, that’s how babies work, I told you all this

Janis: I know but now we’re back and I don’t know what was real and what weren’t

Casey: everything I said and did was real

Janis: I just wanna go back

Casey: come here

Janis: should I

Casey: I need to see you and I can’t piss off out to find you

Janis: it’ll take me a while but I’ll come back

Casey: it don’t matter how long, I’ll be here

Janis: I need to work out where I am and then turn back

Casey: work out where you are and ring a taxi

Janis: oh, yeah, I could do that

Casey: none of us are that skint yet you’d have to worry

Janis: I’ll just work around the clock to cover us all

Casey: running yourself in the ground only means you’d be after a his and hers set of sick notes, I’m not having that

Janis: nah, my job is the one thing I’m not having a crisis about

Casey: charming, rub that in and call me a crisis at the same time

Janis: okay, it sounds rude when you put it like that

Casey: 😏

Janis: never worked a day in my life, me, can’t help that, so much job satisfaction 

Casey: steady on, love

Casey: I get it, wanking off footballers is every girl’s dream but I don’t need you going into detail

Janis: save it for the memoir then 💔

Casey: unless we start needing the money, I’ll go for it kneecapping them all then

Janis: first mistake, guess who they’d be seeing for physio

Janis: if only I was that cliche, he could’ve got proper pissed off about that

Casey: that were my whole idea, my mad jealousy sending all that cash your way and keeping our bills paid, gutted if you’re not up for it

Janis: it’s a solid plan, long as they all become pundits and keep getting their own money to give us

Casey: can’t believe you chucked your sister at one of them, meant to like her, and she can’t even run away

Janis: if you were under the impression I was a nice person before, like

Janis: bit awkward at this point

Casey: bit awkward if nice is how I’m describing any lass other than [the school therapist who was clearly such a wet hen]

Janis: I get it, you miss her, no need to rub that in

Casey: I’ll only threaten to go see her if you don’t get a move on, you’re alright

Janis: why do I meddle so much, actually

Casey: big head, think you know it all

Janis: they got along, at first

Casey: do they not no more, this is the first I’ve heard of it

Janis: I dunno, she don’t seem happy

Janis: be really awkward if I’m just projecting though so not some goss to spread about just yet

Casey: maybe her kid’s a little dickhead, probably too young yet to let her tires down or drive her into a wall but could still be doing her head in

Janis: I think it was harder than they reckoned on her

Casey: needs nursing she’ll have to get in the queue

Janis: however will she cope 😏

Casey: I won’t rub it in telling her ours won’t be

Janis: he’s like 6 months old, barely does fuck all still

Casey: some people can’t hack that, having to do everything

Janis: I don’t know how she does

Janis: but she does loads of things that people wouldn’t reckon so, I dunno

Casey: what I dunno is why I never went there, had a point for blonde and she’s another for that

Janis: shut up, dickhead

Casey: make me then

Janis: You’re so

Casey: go on

Janis: I don’t know how you managed to make me talk about anything else

Casey: I’m massively talented, that’s what you was gonna say

Janis: you reckon, do you

Casey: nah, but it were in the job description, bit frowned up as a barman if you let the drunks chat about bollocks that’ll make em go and top themselves instead of just fancy another drink

Casey: fine line

Janis: wow

Janis: and you toe it so delicately

Casey: got finesse, me, I know

Janis: any more compliments you wanna chuck yourself, go ahead, you must need them

Casey: I’d rather give some to you but I’ll wait til you’re here, with what my way with words is like

Janis: considerate of you

Janis: any cabbie would tell you they’ve seen and heard worse

Casey: that sounds like a come on in itself

Janis: when he gets here I’ll ask if he’s interested

Janis: probably charge you to keep the meter running though

Casey: have to be quick, dunno how unless he’s that fit

Janis: real tragedy, mate

Casey: this turning me gay ain’t what I saw happening but

Janis: stunned silence means I’ve shut you up

Janis: I win

Casey: means I might as well go be a paid and qualified nurse now I’m as bent as those lads, win for the nhs really

Janis: alright, showing off how selfless you are now

Casey: I’ll show off the uniform to you on my way out, seeing as we’re still mates

Janis: blue suits you

Casey: tah

Janis: should I bring anything though, legitimately 

Casey: like a stethoscope or what

Janis: because I’ll be able to pick that up down tescos

Janis: stop being a pervert and be realistic please

Casey: big tesco I reckon you realistically could

Janis: I missed you

Casey: so be here, fuck bringing owt else or adding no other stops on

Janis: I just wanna see you too

Casey: there’s nothing on a shopping list I’d be more bothered about than you

Janis: there’s always delivery

Casey: for whatever weird cravings you or the baby have

Janis: you still want it

Casey: *her 

Casey: and of course I do

Janis: we couldn’t be any more headfucked 

Casey: oi, speak for yourself

Janis: weren’t a challenge

Casey: not for you, you’ve already sorted my head out

Janis: some would say brainwashed

Casey: dickheads would

Janis: you can tell everyone I never touched you when you were 12, yeah

Casey: I’ll write it under the massive poster of you in town, saves printing my own out

Janis: 😬

Janis: bit reverse psychology feeling now

Casey: We know what happened and when

Janis: can’t forget

Casey: I’ll make sure he knows if you want me to, I don’t care about the rest

Janis: knows what

Casey: that nothing happened before the other day

Janis: I’ll see what he asks, if he does

Janis: but thanks

Casey: he’d never reckon you did back then, however gutted he is about now

Janis: I’d hope not

Janis: you were really, really annoying back then, give me some credit

Casey: no credit to your memory if that’s what you’re saying

Janis: will you take annoying and adorable?

Casey: It’s making us want my dog back

Janis: you can get him whenever you want

Casey: have to, it’s too quiet and doing my head in

Janis: must be weird, it basically never is

Casey: my head would be fucked, or more fucked as you reckon

Janis: you’d be weird if your head wasn’t, it is fucked, the whole situation

Casey: I ain’t a little kid and he ain’t old enough to be my mum or dad, makes it a bit easier to pretend like it’s not

Janis: still

Janis: I shouldn’t have let you

Casey: it’s alright

Janis: it’s not

Janis: I’ll help, until he’s well enough to tell me to fuck off

Casey: when he’s up to telling anyone I’ll be first

Janis: maybe

Janis: I did try and tell him that it was me

Casey: I’m not gonna piss off and leave you to try and sort him out on your own, don’t worry, like your cabbie I’ve heard worse

Janis: bad time to say he’s not well fit or

Casey: depends how dead set you are we can’t be together

Janis: that depends

Casey: you gonna tell me what on or does it depend on guessing right an’ all

Janis: a lot of things

Janis: you pitting me against Darren here might be one of them

Casey: I’ve got other rebounds to ring if he’s the dealbreaker in it, like

Janis: shh

Casey: I told you, you're gonna have to make me if you want it

Janis: I don’t want to talk about your rebounds, ever

Casey: I don’t wanna have none

Janis: how can you even think about that 

Casey: how can you think about leaving me

Janis: I’m not

Casey: you did, you was gonna

Janis: I left the house, I haven’t decided on anything else ‘til I called the cab

Casey: you decided we couldn’t, kept saying it to me

Janis: I also decided that I was going to leave you to it and not come around so that’s going great, like

Casey: if I’m meant to be fuming about it you’ve got a longer wait than you did for the taxi

Janis: be fair, he was quick, unlike you

Casey: far as ratings go it’d be one he’s after and I’d struggle to live down

Janis: good thing I can’t 💬 it

Casey: you’re that fit everybody would understand

Janis: for now

Janis: if I’m pregnant I’m gonna go well down

Casey: you won’t

Janis: if you happen to like that sort of thing, some weirdos out there 

Casey: ask your mate Darren ‘cause that one is a dealbreaker, yeah 😏

Janis: should’ve said impregnating me was all you were interested in

Casey: not all, but it’s on the list

Janis: clue me in sometime

Casey: maybe, seeing as you reckon on staying

Janis: you didn’t ask me to, just to see me

Casey: didn’t I

Casey: must be ‘cause it’s so bloody obvious

Janis: nothing is

Casey: that is, I need you

Janis: I love you

Casey: I love you so fucking much, you know I do

Casey: stay with me

Janis: we can work out a better plan later

Janis: today was too much

Casey: we’re all in shock, not only him

Janis: yeah, we are

Janis: I don’t want to try and explain it to anyone else right now, I just wanna see you

Casey: you don’t have to say owt if you don’t want, I won’t even make the comparison

Janis: we can talk, we are now

Janis: less zombified

Casey: I miss you

Janis: miss you more

Casey: door’s been open this whole time, I couldn’t shut it

Janis: you’ll be freezing, do you have the blanket on at least

Casey: couldn’t either, it smells like you I didn’t want it to stop doing

Janis: I’m wearing your jacket, it’s been comforting, feels a bit like you’re here

Casey: good, I hoped it would when I gave it you, you were going

Janis: sorry I vommed on mine

Janis: not something you’re gonna wanna smell later

Casey: I’ve washed it for you, it’s not dry yet though, that’ll be ages

Janis: you giving me an excuse to stick around

Casey: bit rude if that’s the one you need, but alright, long as you are

Janis: nah, anyway, there’s already a bed going spare so I can

Casey: there’s mine you don’t need his

Janis: where are you going to be

Casey: depends where you want me to be

Janis: it’s me I can’t trust

Janis: you know where I want you to be

Casey: I trust you

Janis: promise

Casey: you didn’t touch me up when I was a proper hot 12 year old, I’ve gotta

Janis: 😌 very valid point

Casey: and you don’t want us freezing to death so you’ve gotta keep near

Janis: you need warming up

Janis: also me to shut the fucking doors to keep those bills down

Casey: I’ve fucked the heating one but think what we’ve saved me and him sat about in the dark

Janis: I’ll get you another brandy

Casey: if I were a lass you’d run a bath for me

Janis: an unsubtle hint and a dig all in one there

Janis: I don’t reckon any of us need to go near the tub today

Casey: now, drowning myself in there would make me a massive girl, I can’t be having the pisstake at my funeral

Janis: stay dry and clothed, boy

Janis: keeping you from freezing, what I heard

Casey: lost us a bit at clothed, Darren’s heard promises of all sorts else

Janis: I’ll tell him how hot you usually are, swear

Casey: trusting you to

Janis: catch you on any other day and you’d be half-clothed and ready to go

Casey: gutted I don’t need a tinder bio 

Janis: 😒

Casey: show us your real face

Janis: I might 😱 if I open my camera

Janis: did I look bad before when you came back

Casey: pale but that’s a plus for me, if anything 

Janis: so pleased to encourage your casual racism

Casey: 😏

Casey: it were that or telling you how fit you looked after all your crying, take your pick of problematic turn ons, mate

Janis: you know too many of my secrets for me to use yours against you now

Janis: and that’s what friendship is all about, yeah

Casey: alright then, you’ve never looked hotter than when you was vomming in the garden

Janis: [a 😁 selfie]

Casey: oh there you are

Casey: I get why your cabbie mate’s driving so slow

Janis: try not to puke for him

Casey: I’d be chuffed if you didn’t

Janis: only try and charge me like he didn’t love it

Casey: should be you charging him, what kind of dickhead

Janis: you must be special after-all

Casey: dunno about that

Janis: don’t you

Casey: steady on, you’ll only set yourself off crying and there’s no need for him to get that freebie either

Janis: anyone out walking today could’ve got that

Janis: well slaggy with my emotions

Casey: 🥺

Janis: don’t do that face

Casey: or you’ll what

Janis: *you’ll break my heart again

Janis: not allowed to cry in front of you

Casey: *Darren

Casey: you can do whatever you want in front of me

Janis: not about that, it wouldn’t have been fair

Janis: less fair than it all already is

Casey: it don’t have to be, I ain’t holding you to perfect ever, nevermind today

Janis: you must think I’m the biggest mess

Casey: I think it’s a headfuck and you’re allowed to behave like it is

Janis: yeah

Janis: fuck it

Janis: you like it anyway, can’t lose

Casey: I love you, I’m not gonna stop for anything, least of all ‘cause you reckon you’re not looking like the fittest girl in the whole of Dublin when you still are

Janis: it’s not that

Janis: I don’t want to be someone else you have to take care of

Casey: I don’t have to, you’re the only person I don’t, I wanna ‘cause strong as you are, you’ve gotta have a rest some time and if not leaning against me then when the fuck

Janis: never?

Janis: I don’t deserve it right now but I still love you

Casey: you deserve it most right now, and any other time else that you don’t reckon you do

Janis: you’re too nice 

Janis: no rebounds

Casey: I weren’t nice before I met you

Janis: you were a kid

Janis: and a fucked up one at that

Casey: I should’ve been nicer to her while she was about, maybe she still would be

Janis: there’s no way to know that

Janis: but I really doubt it, you love your kids, even if they’re basically evil little bastards

Janis: it was all the rest, not you

Casey: I can be a good dad, even with all the rest we’ve got round us

Janis: I know you could

Casey: don’t forget, like

Janis: I can’t think about it today

Casey: okay, but remember all of it, for another day

Janis: only so long I can put it off

Casey: yeah

Janis: can’t be one of those people that wait ‘til there’s no choice left, dickhead move

Casey: don’t sound like the kind of dickhead you are

Janis: I know what kind of dickhead I am

Janis: can’t say fairer

Casey: good, only so many times I can tell you before poor driver Darren’s fed up of hearing it

Janis: oi, say I’m boring when you were sitting in the dark before I messaged you

Casey: nobody else worth talking to, said that before

Janis: can’t take it as a win with current competition 

Janis: when everything is less… whatever the fuck this is, I’ll prove it again

Casey: weren’t a challenge

Janis: 🤏

Casey: you’ve accepted it now anyway

Janis: I don’t want you to move on, that hasn’t changed

Casey: nor has it that I can’t, put that out your head

Janis: for today, yeah

Casey: for any and all days

Janis: not if we can’t be together, it won’t be fair 

Casey: I don’t fucking care if I never see you again, it wouldn’t change the fact

Janis: I can’t make my head stop

Janis: going through all the shit I might have to do

Casey: I know

Janis: you can make it stop

Janis: for a bit

Casey: for as long as you’ll let me

Janis: I don’t want you to be alone

Casey: can’t hack it

Janis: thinking about it made me wanna die

[dejwritesarchived]

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — it's just something about those bikers...[ ft jay jo & vinny hong from manhwa/webtoon windbreaker, nsfw headcanons, suggestive content, afab reader, headcanon format, drabble format, mating press position, thigh riding, oral (both fem & male receiving/giving), profanity usage, i usually don't take request but i adore windbreaker a lil too much so this is dedicated to the person who sent me the ask earlier, ]

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — VINNY HONG

Personally feel like Vinny likes taking control in the bedroom. Although he'll most likely put your pleasure above his own, he'll be sure to take the lead when it comes to his tall stature being on top of your frame.

Isn't afraid to take place in between your thighs. Honestly think he enjoys eating you out more and more each day he does it. He loves grasping at the flesh on your thighs as you squirm under his touch. He adores hearing your breath hitch in your throat as he brings you closer to his face.

Such an amazing kisser. He puts his all in his kisses. They start off so sweet and innocent. Him enduring the taste of your cotton candy chapstick. But then Vinny gets so eager, sometimes he gets so into the kiss that on some days he'll forget you two are in public. He's pulling you closer to his body. His tongue always finds a way to glide against your lower lip begging to get a taste of that fruit smoothie you drank ten minutes ago. Kissing Vinny is like alluding that you want it to go further. 'Cause once he starts, he is on go mode.

Vinny has some of the best-looking thighs you've ever seen. It doesn't particularly shock you considering what he does as a hobby/sport. When you're needy, you aren't afraid to take place on Vinny's toned thighs and rub against them in the lewdest way possible. Vinny would only let you get off by humping his thighs like a poor lil wolf in intense heat. Occasionally placing kisses on your gasped lips while you let out a moan.

Has (and will) fuck you in the signature Humming Bird Crew gear. He saw you wearing a piece of his Humming Bird Crew gear and went feral. Which he knows what he's doing considering when you return the piece of the clothing and it smells like you.

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — JAY JO

He's very observant when it comes to you. Constantly taking mental notes on your likes and dislikes. So obviously, he's going to be observant of what makes you completely breathless in the bedroom. Jay is always open to trying new things just to see what makes you nibble on your lip to hold back a moan or what makes his name tumble off your tongue seductively.

Please, lick the side of Jay's neck and watch him fold immediately. If you're feeling bold, lick up to the brim of his ear and blow a cool breeze on it after licking it. He'll instantly get hard and his face will glow the most adorable shade of red.

Praise him! Praise him! Praise him! Please while he's ramming his hips into the cushions of your butt just to feel more of you gripping around him, praise him. Tell him how good he's fucking you. Let him know how wonderful he's making you feel.

Mating press king! It's no secret with the amount of biking he does, his body is always toned and looking amazing. Jay adores hooking his broad arms under your knees as his hips roll into your body. His jet black hair falling his face while sweat stains his forehead and the only thing that comes out of his mouth are breathless croaks of your name.

He likes his head sloppy. It's just somethin' that drives him completely mad when he sees your face and hands covered in saliva. The flat of your tongue gliding across his cock with so much ease. If he's feeling a bit impatient and practice annoyed him, he'll even take it upon himself to push his hips forward to face fuck you.

TAGS — @sleepy3 @festive @maydayaisha @indiecursor @hellavile @misss-chrisss @massivelynervousprincess @syomi @nanaminshousewife @saltmaki @tabalugax @saturnthehumanoid @stunnababyyabyyy @massivelynervousprincess @dazeskies