#Let me be gay for the bard

[cavegirlpoems]

The Two D&Ds

I am going to make two statements:

I despise D&D, and consider it a parasitic drain on ttrpgs as an artform.

I love D&D and my fascination with it continually inspires me to create art using it.

These two statements might seem to be at odds, but in fact there is no conflict when one considers that the term 'D&D' is being used to refer to two completely different things. I hate one of those things and like the other. So let's unpack that. Firstly, there's D&D-as-a-lifestyle-brand. D&D as presented by critical role, by memes about horny bards and wholesome gay tiefling found families, and by the wider hasbro-sanctioned fandom. Where the actual design and mechanics of the game are a vague suggestion that exists homeopathically in the same vicinity as what you're doing. But really, you're inventing blorbos, collecting pretty dice, and speculating on events in an actual-play on twitch; the rules in that very pretty rulebook are an afterthought to the fandom.

Then there's D&D-as-a-family-of-ttrpg-mechanics. This covers the various editions of Dungeons & Dragons - from the white-box OD&D to 5th edition and everything in between - as well as various retroclones, hacks and spin-offs such as the OSR, Pathfinder, etc. This isn't defined as a cultural space; it's a set of game mechanics and design principles shared across the text of various games. And there's a lot of variation with the specifics, but like The Blues, if you know the basic structure it all makes sense.

The two D&Ds have very little to do with each other.

When indie people like myself criticise D&D, we are usually criticising the first one. We're generally outsiders to that fandom-space who are unhappy with the way that fandom encroches on, and ultimately stiffles, everything else in ttrpgs as an artistic medium. We tend also to dislike the very shallow interest in that fandom of the things we care about in ttrpgs - game design, gameplay, theory, criticism, etc.

Here's the thing. I am, personally, immensely critical of D&D-as-lifestyle-brand. I detest it, honestly. It strikes me as a corporate exploitation of the wider medium in pursuit of an easy profit, at the expense of catering to the lowest common denominator. Like invasive kudzu, it chokes out all ecological diversity in the art-form. Its a homogenising influence, and in my experience pretty anti-intillectual.

Because, at risk of sounding like a pseud, I consider ttrpg design to be an art-form that merits serious effort, discussion and appreciation.

However. D&D-as-a-set-of-games I actually quite like. I find myself fascinated by the way so many games take apart the starting framework of a given edition of D&D - like your 12-bar-blues structure - and adapt it and riff on it and fuse it with other genres. I find it interesting to track the way whole movements and genres mutate out from that starting position. Hell, I do that myself, a lot. A lot of my design work takes the very early editions of D&D as a starting point, gets into a groove, and riffs on it until it's seemingly unrecognisable.

To me, a work like Mork Borg is D&D (the second definition). It is, however, totally unrelated and unrecognisable to D&D (the first definition).

So I will talk about "D&D as the containment game for shit players" and I mean it, because I'm talking about type-1. And I'll do that while designing a paleolithic OSR game, because that's type-2. And by and large, all that happens when both those things intersect is people get upset.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

I belong with my One; Fili x Dúnedain reader

*Author's note*

So this took me a few days to finally get finalized and write down so I hope @futuristicyouthvoid I hope you enjoy this fic. For this fic I've put that instead of Kili getting shot by the Morgul arrow, reader gets shot saving him and ends up getting sick.

Warnings: reader poisoned, near-death experience, some angst and some fluff.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@queen-paladin

___________________________________________________________

So much has happened in such little of time.  First Gandalf offers me a proposition for aiding a company of Dwarves, then we’re being pursued by orcs, then get imprisoned by the Elven king Thranduil.  Now we find ourselves at the mercy of the Men of Laketown.

Thankfully another friend of mine Bard was willing to let us stay the night at his house but of course the Dwarves had to screw it all up by going to the armory to steal the weapons and end up getting caught by the Master of the Lake’s guards.  But by some miracle, we were granted the supplies we needed to get us to Erebor to complete the quest before sunset.  Of course I knew it was because of the Master’s greediness that he agreed to help, he never was a good man.

“You do know we’re one short, where’s Bofur?” Bilbo asked.

“If he’s not here, we leave him behind.” Said Thorin.

“We’ll have to, if we’re to find the door before nightfall. We can’t risk no more delays.” Balin agreed grimly as everyone began piling into the boat.  But as I was just halfway over the plank, I felt a hand stop me.

“Not you.” I turned to see Thorin.

“What?”

“We must travel at speed, you’ll only slow us down.” He told me.

“I’m coming with you all to the Mountain. I promised Gandalf that I would.”

“(Y/n), you have been a big help to me and my kin. The first Ranger to truly stand for our cause. But lately you haven’t been up to par on your health. Stay here and rest, rejoin us when you’re healed.” Just because I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish since the river incident, doesn’t mean I’m helpless.

“Thorin—”

“I will say no more on the matter.” Without another word, Thorin went back onto the boat whilst I had no choice but to sit back down on the docks, feeling a chill suddenly come over me.

“I’ll stay with the lass, my duty lies with the wounded.” Oin said as he voluntarily got off the boat and came up to me.

“Uncle, (Y/n) has done more for this company than any other outsider could’ve done for us. You cannot repay her by leaving her behind.” Fili stepped up for me.

“Fili no.” I told him.

“I will carry her if I must!” Fili argued.

“Fili, one day you will be king and you will understand. I cannot risk the fate of this quest for the sake of a Ranger. Even if she were the only one willing to help us.” As Oin began feeling my forehead for a temperature, I soon watched as Fili stormed off the boat but Thorin stopped him.  “Fili, don’t be a fool. Your place is with the company.”

“My place is with her!” he snapped back at his uncle before taking back his arm and came over to me.

“Why did you do that? I thought you always wanted to see Erebor, you told me so yourself.”

“I’ll have plenty of opportunities to see the kingdom in my lifetime, but your wellbeing is more important to me than all the gold in Erebor.” I felt my cheeks grow warm as I softly thanked him.

“And don’t think it’ll just be Fee that’s gonna help you get back on your feet.” We turned to see Kili had also left the boat.

“Kili, you didn’t have to stay behind too.” Fili said.

“Yeah I could’ve gone but it’s my decision too.” He came up to me and stood on my right side.  “You saved my life back in the Woodland realm, I’ll gladly do everything I can to help you now (Y/n).” I smiled and looked at the brothers.

“You guys truly are the best friends I’ve ever had. Thank you.” They both nodded and as the Laketown band played a victorious fanfare to wish our friends luck, a sudden dizziness overcame me. 

My vision was going in and out of focus and as the crowd cheered as the boat with our friends departed from the docks, I suddenly fell forward, the last thing I heard was Fili’s voice calling my name.

*3rd Person POV*

When (Y/n) had passed out on the dock, Fili cried out (Y/n)’s name as Oin came up and began searching over her body for any trace of an infected wound or trace of blood.  Knowing that she had saved Kili from that arrow back when they were trying to escape the orcs on the river, there must’ve been a wound he might’ve missed before they came across Bard.

“OH, did you miss the boat too?” they soon heard the missing Dwarf, Bofur’s voice say.  But the moment he saw (Y/n) passed out, his concern grew as he asked Kili.  “What happened to her?”

“We don’t know. She just—suddenly passed out.”

“Her fever’s spiking lads. We have to get her help right away!” Oin said.

“Kee, help me out here!” together the brothers lifted her up by her arms while Oin and Bofur got her legs and they walked back towards the Master’s manor to ask for help.  After pushing through the guards, Fili cried out. “Please wait! Please, we need your help. Our friend is sick!”

“Sick? Is it infectious?” the Master exclaimed fearfully as he covered his nose with his handkerchief and fearfully cowered behind Alfrid. “Get back! Alfrid, Alfrid don’t let them come any closer!”

“Please. We need medicine.” Oin pleaded.  Alfrid walked closer as he sneered at them.

“Do I look like an apothecary? Haven’t we given you enough? The Master’s a busy man, he hasn’t got time to worry about sick Rangers! Let alone this one right ‘ere. All she’s ever done for this town is ruin the Master’s good name and turn the people against him.”

“She’s helped these people in their hour of need! Are you willing to let her die because of your own selfish needs?!” Kili demanded.

“None of our concern. She’s not a paying citizen here, therefore she’s not our problem. Now off you pop! Less we use more drastic measures.” With that Alfrid and the Master shut the doors and the guards ordered them away.

After being rejected by the Master, they tried going to other people to see if they could help but all of them were either too scared to go against the Master’s wishes, or didn’t have enough supplies to help aid her as well as their own sick family members.

With no other options left, the Dwarves raced back to Bard’s home.  Knowing of their friendship, they’d hope that at least he could help them.  Bofur knocked on the door frantically and as soon as Bard saw them, he sneered.

“No, I’m done with Dwarves. Go away!” he went to shut the door but Bofur stopped him pleading.

“No, no please! Please! No one will help us. (Y/n) is sick.” Bard opened the door further to see his good friend now sickly pale, strands of her hair stuck to her face from the profuse sweating she was doing, and her breathing was now choked gasps.  “She’s very, very sick.” Even with the grievance he had with the Dwarves for risking the safety of not only his children but the entire town of Dragon fire, he didn’t have the heart to turn his dear friend away.

“Bring her in.” Bard stepped aside and the four dwarves quickly piled in while Bard quickly looked around before shutting the door.  “Put her over there. I’ll see what I have.” Bard went to the back of the house as the Dwarves set her down on the nearby couch.  Fili took her hand between his and squeezed it.

“Hang on (Y/n), we’re all here to help you. Just…..don’t go where I cannot follow.” He whispered to her stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.  Kili watched his older brother and knowing of his feelings towards the Ranger, he couldn’t help but feel guilty knowing that it was because of his carelessness that the woman his brother loved got hurt to save him.

As the night overcame the lake, (Y/n)’s health was gradually becoming worse.  Oin did managed to find a small graze just underneath her elbow.  A graze that came from an orc arrow tipped with poison.  Already the wound (even for as small as it was) had already started to become infected and the poison was spreading fast.

(Y/n) was tossing and turning, panting as her body was glistening with sweat.

“Nothing’s working! Can you not do something!?” demanded Fili who was growing more frantic by the second seeing the woman he came to love be in such agony.

“I need herbs! Something to bring down her fever.” Bard soon came in with some more supplies and began listing them off.

“I have nightshade, feverfew…..”

“No, no there no use to me. Do you have any Kingsfoil?” said Oin but Bard told him.

“No. It’s a weed we feed it to the pigs.”

“Pigs? Weed. Right. Don’t move.” Bofur said before leaving the house.  As Kili was continuing to dab a damp, cool cloth across (Y/n)’s face and neck to ease her of her sweating, a rumble was soon heard coming from the mountain.

“Da?” asked one of Bard’s daughters Sigrid.

“It’s coming from the mountain.” Answered Bard’s son, Bain.  Bard had feared the worst, the dwarves had awoken Smaug the Terrible and soon the prophecy would come to pass, the Lake will shine and burn.

“You should leave us.” Fili said as he walked up to Bard. “Take your children, get out of here.”

“And go where? There’s nowhere to go.” Bard told him in defeat.  Little Tilda stepped in front of her siblings and asked her father fearfully.

“Are we going to die Da?” Bard looked at his youngest child and assured her.

“No darling.”

“The dragon, it’s going to kill us.” Bard then turned towards a beam just above the kitchen and gripped a thin but firm piece of what appeared to be black iron.  He pulled it down from the beam to reveal that it was a Black arrow, the very same black arrow that can only be used to kill the dragon.

“Not if I kill it first.” Bard said determinedly.  He then asked his son to come with him while the girls stayed behind with the Dwarves to help take care of their Aunt.

Time passed and (Y/n)’s fever was getting even worse.  Her breathing was sharp and panicked and she was now starting to writhe in agony.

“Durin’s beard where is Balin with that Kingsfoil!?” Fili demanded.

“I have the right mind to go out and look for him myself!” Kili snapped.

“You can’t leave! With the guards on patrol, they’ll arrest you too and aunt (Y/n) will never get better!” Bain said.  “No one is leaving this house understood!?” hearing the young man take a stand against the Dwarves made them both feel shock and admiration.

“Very well laddie. But I don’t know how long (Y/n) has got left, she’s growing weaker by the second.” Oin said to Bain.

“Tilda, Sigrid, come with me to get more rags and water for aunt Hela.” The siblings soon left while Fili gripped (Y/n)’s hand tighter.

“Fi…….li.” she choked out.

“I’m right beside you (Y/n).” he whispered to her.  Slowly opening her eyes she croaked out.

“Fili…..if anything hap-happens to me—”

“Don’t talk like that (Y/n). We’re going to heal you, Bofur’s probably found the Kingsfoil by now, he’s just probably ducking the guards and taking longer. Please don’t give in now.” He squeezed her hand between his.  “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

Suddenly a scream was heard and next thing everyone knew orcs began dropping down from the rooftop or coming in through the front door.  The dwarves grabbed whatever they could to fight off the orcs but there were too many of them, and with the tightly constricted area the house provided, there was hardly any fighting room.

Kili got the children to duck under the table and fought off any orc that tried to come close to them, while Oin and Fili worked together to fend off any orc that came near (Y/n).  When they thought they were done for, help came from both Legolas and Tauriel who had been tracking down the orcs since they left Mirkwood.

As Fili managed to block an orc’s attack with a kitchen knife, (Y/n) had managed to crawl out of the couch and use a fire-poker to stab the orc through its spine.  But she soon let out a cry of agony as she collapsed to the ground, the poison fully starting to overcome her.  Eventually, all the orcs were either killed off or had begun to retreat from the house.

“You killed them all.” Bain said as he and his sisters got out from under the table after all went quiet in the house.

“There are others, Tauriel.” Legolas ordered but Tauriel was hesitant.  As Oin came down beside (Y/n) and felt around her neck to feel her pulse was slowing down, Fili and Kili came down beside her as Oin said fearfully.

“We’re losing her!”

“Tauriel.” Legolas said to her.  She turned back to her prince and said.

“The Ranger has done no harm to us, is there nothing we can do to help her?”

“She is beyond help. I’m sorry, there’s nothing that can be done for her.” Footsteps could soon be heard racing up the stairs and as the two elves prepared for another battle with orcs, they stopped to see that it was Bofur carrying some Athelas in his hand.

“Athelas,” Tauriel exhaled as she took it from him and admired it. “Athelas.”

“What are you doing?” Bofur asked nervously.  Tauriel looked into the room before looking back at him and said.

“I’m going to save her.” Legolas’ eyes briefly narrowed.

“Tauriel…..”

“You may go if you wish Legolas, but I cannot leave the she-ranger to perish in such agony. Not whilst she still clings to life and that I now have her only salvation.” The young prince took a deep breath then exhaled.

“What would you have me do?” the two elves raced back inside and Tauriel ordered.

“I need water fast. Get her on a solid, stable surface. Lay her flat on her back.” Every in the room reacted quickly.  Tilda gave Tauriel the bowl of water for her to mix the Athelas together, whilst Legolas and the Dwarves worked together to get (Y/n) on the table.

She was screaming and writhing in pure agony, her mouth starting to grow black with the poison.

“Where is the wound?” Legolas asked.

“Underneath her left elbow.” Oin said.  Legolas took hold of her left wrist and raised her arm above.  But when she tried to struggle, he was forced to also grab her forearm to pin it down and there he saw it.  The black graze and he could see the infection had fully spread and blackened her entire elbow.

“Hold her down.” Tauriel said.  Kili and Bofur held down her right leg while Bard’s children held down her left.  Fili held (Y/n) by the shoulders and Oin helped Tauriel brew the medicine.  Once it was brewed, Tauriel cut through the sleeve of (Y/n)’s shirt to get a better access to the wound.

The female ranger appearing like a rapid animal, screaming, grunting and thrashing about trying to free herself.  Tauriel took some of the Athelas and began rubbing it onto her hands as she chanted.

“Menno o nin na hon i eliad annen annin, hon leitho o ngurth.” She then placed her hands over the ranger’s wound and (Y/n) let out an agonizing scream.  Fili softly shushed her stroking through her hair and whispering in her ear all the while Tauriel kept chanting the spell.

Bit by bit, (Y/n)’s animalistic behavior quietened and then she went still.  Her breathing now soft and not as frantic as it had been.  Fili looked down at her worriedly and Kili asked.

“Will she be alright?”

“Athelas has powerful healing properties. With time and rest, she’ll regain her full strength. A few more minutes and she would’ve been beyond even with the aid of the Athelas.” Responded Tauriel.  The dwarves and Bard’s children breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank you.” Fili said to Tauriel.  She gave him a soft but tight smile as well as a soft nod.  Then both she and Legolas left to deal with the orcs.

After her healing, Fili wrapped up (Y/n)’s wound with some bandages and kept vigil at her side.  Never before had he felt so scared than he had felt at that moment.  Fearing that the woman he had come to become fond of—nay love throughout this quest, he wouldn’t have known what to do had she been lost to him.

“She’ll be alright Fili. She’s strong, she’ll be back on her feet in no time.” His brother tried to assure him.

“I know. But seeing her go through all that pain, all that suffering, and who knows if she even knew she had been hit.”

“Even if she did, she’s got the stubbornness of a Dwarrowdam. Perfect woman for a guy like you.” Fili turned to his brother.  “You may try to have hide it from the others but you can’t hide anything from me Fee. I’ve seen how you’ve been looking at her since Rivendell. You care for her more than just as a friend.” Fili sighed and looked down to her.

“I don’t even know how it happened. But after all that we’ve been through, seeing her in a—domestic way. The way she was with her younger cousin, the way the sunlight seemed to reflect off her hair, and the way her eyes shone like jewels in the dark. Kee……I feel as if she is my One.”

“And you should follow through that brother.”

“But would it work? A dwarf and a human? It’s never been done before?”

“Is that what’s really troubling you? Or is it that you fear she doesn’t feel the same way?” Fili remained quiet.

“This quest has shown me that life is too fragile. And at any moment, any one of us can be taken away by any means. I want to tell her my true feelings but—not now. Not while our lives are still in danger. Perhaps when we reach the mountain, I’ll work up the courage to tell her but I—”

“I understand brother. The turmoil that must’ve been stirring in your heart seeing her on death’s doorstep, if you had confessed your love for her beforehand and it be too late to save her……I can’t imagine the pain that would’ve been.”

“She’s too precious to me.” Fili said as he stroked her cheek with the back of his finger.  “I feel like if she had died tonight, my heart would’ve died with her. My body may have continued to live on but my heart would never be full again.”

“Take comfort now that she’s alive and that she’s recovering. No more darkened thoughts need cloud your mind anymore.” Kili said as he placed a comforting hand on his brother’s shoulder, gently shaking it.  Fili turned to his little brother and nodded giving him a soft smile.

“Thank you Kili. I know I’m supposed to be the older brother here but, I’m glad that you were here to be the one to ease my mind.”

“I’m always here for you brother, and I always will be. Together forever right?” he extended his other hand out.

“Together forever little brother.” Fili clasped his other hand with Fili’s as they pressed their foreheads together, drawing in each other’s strength.

*My POV*

 All I remembered was darkness, as well as a voice reaching out for me.  Then a bright light and soon silence.  I don’t remember much after that but I do remember hearing Fili’s voice along with Kili’s.

“This quest has shown me that life is too fragile. And at any moment, any one of us can be taken away by any means. I want to tell her my true feelings but—not now. Not while our lives are still in danger. Perhaps when we reach the mountain, I’ll work up the courage to tell her but I—”

“I understand brother. The turmoil that must’ve been stirring in your heart seeing her on death’s doorstep, if you had confessed your love for her beforehand and it be too late to save her……I can’t imagine the pain that would’ve been.”

“She’s too precious to me.” I felt something graze my cheek with the most gentlest touch.  “I feel like if she had died tonight, my heart would’ve died with her. My body may have continued to live on but my heart would never be full again.”

So did Fili actually feel the same as I have come to feel for him? Oh Fili, I-I love you too. And I do hope that one day I can say that aloud, but for now I was just too weak to even open my eyes.  I soon passed out once again but it wasn’t until the sound of giant wings flying towards us had me opening my eyes.

Smaug was coming for us. And he was out for blood.

[ad-astrah]

Finally Watched Cinderella's Castle Digital Ticket (Twice) and I Gotta Get My Feelings Out Somewhere, Somehow (Part I)

Feel free to light up my DMs to chat about it!

And now, for my personal highlights/live reactions:

immediately I'm drawn in by Nick Lang's silly narrator voice and the way he warns us of what's coming. Especially the "muRrrDder!"

Jeff Blim cut his hair. JEFF BLIM CUT HIS HAIR. Not that I didn't like the long locks, but something about his Aladdin Era short hair gets me, man.

Jeff Blim literally getting to own the stage like the man was born to

Jeff Blim's slutty bard getup with the artfully messy hair and the heavy guyliner. That sinful bastard.

"Let's go." I'll follow you anyway, slutty bard.

Okay 80s rock jam! Hell yes.

idk why but I just love the line "There are tales in those walls, are they true or are they tall?"

THIS SET, THO. 80s vibes. Muppets vibes. Princess Bride vibes. Spooky, ethereal fairytale vibes. I love it! Props to the team who designed and built it.

prance, slutty bard boy, prance around that stage.

Jesus Fuck, I've only seen Joey's puppet but I'm already SOLD. Nick and Matt Lang and whoever else had a hand in making these puppets fucking OUTDID themselves! Did they use the Black Book and resurrect Jim Henson?

Throughout the show, the muppet vibes just absolutely amaze and delight me. Makes me feel like a little kid, spellbound by this fairytale. Except it's much darker, more gruesome, way more explicit, and extremely horny.

Oh look, it's Joey's Jingle/Jangle (whichever elf he was) voice from Black Friday.

Love me some o' dat non-binary representation from Ragweed. Starkid once again screaming GAY RIGHTS bitches.

I'm getting some of Jeff's Aragog from AVPS in this Narrator. Anyone else?

Stupid STUPID butcher!

Jon Matteson's accent. *giggles madly*

Angela IMMEDIATELY having to pause for applause before she finishes her first freaking line. The queen deserves it all, though.

The foreshadowing of the Stepmother cutting off Ella's feet. O_O

"It's furryyyyy and fouuuuul and full o' maGOTTTSSaaaaaggghhhh!"

Angela doing the little spinny finger thing in a guy's face to fluster them just like Max did to her character in Nerdy Prudes. I love these physical running gags. My fave being the Smoke Club, though.

OIIIINK oinkoinkoinkoinkoinkoink

Sir Preston asking for help from the audience. His "ELLAaaaaa....nooooo....."

The lighting in this entire show is SO COOL.

Again, Jeff just louging like a whore about the set like its his bitch. I live for it.

James' COSTUME. He looks SO FUCKING GOOD. Props to the costume folks...and to James' rockin' genes.

"But nothing compares to the juice and the hairs..." Oh no. Ohhhhh no I see where this is going. Don't say it, James, don't-- omg he said it.

er ee er ee er ee *window rolling down*

I thought the Prince drawing bewbies on the frosty window was funny already, and then he goes WAH WAH WAH and pretends to pinch them and I fucking lost it.

The Prince checkin' out DAT AZZZZZZ XD

"I'd wager she's wetter now than when I first found her bobbing in the river." OH MY GOD. PRINCE. THAT'S HER NOT-MOM.

If his highness has had every STD and beaten it, that's so fucked up but also damn, that boy's immune system is killin' it. Literally.

"Poor mad EllaAH"

"This is one thirsty FUCKING house." For real, omg.

"The offer stands firm. Come calling if you are!" *screams*

Jeff miming being crew and pulling the ropes for the curtains.

*audience member sneezes* "Bless you."

Angela's diction is next fucking level. PUNY. PINK. KIND.

The epic troll reveal! The puppets are SO GOOD.

THE FROG FUCKING TURNING AWAY AS SHE ASKED FOR IT TO DO SO SHE COULD KILL IT. CHRIST.

This bayou boogie song of Ella's is an absolute KILLER BOP. Holy shit. And it's SO perfect for Bryce's funky, sassy voice.

Speaking of which, BRYCE'S VOCALS. I'm gonna scream about them for forever and ever and ever. I love her voice SO FUCKING MUCH. I could listen to nothing else for the rest of my days and die a happy little gay.

"ohhhh woah woah waohhh" *flips the bird* She's such a queen for that.

"It needs oregano" WORK BITCH

Bryce's stage presence is fucking INSANE. I dunno how she's not on Broadway, but thank goodness we got her!

SIRE MANY TADPOLES!

GOD I love this absolutely depraved, horny little bastard of a prince.

It's amazing Tadeus hasn't murdered the prince yet. The man deserves a medal for the literal shit he's put up with.

Bugette?! I thought you choked on shit died and were consumed by the Hive Queen?

Rancilda being a typical troll and loving lurking under bridges and telling riddles.

Schuyler Sister vibes from the song with Justine and Lucy. So cute.

Justine and Lucy are SUCH real ones for IMMEDIATELY believing Ella about her family being trolls and for saying "fuck the ball, we're leaving NOW."

Shake dat ass, Mariah!

Lauren's physical comedy as Rancilda is NEXT LEVEL. I'm wheezing over here!

iSNn'tT it A BiiIItTcH?!

I LOOK GOOD IN THIS. What an absolute fucking BANGER. This song is gonna play in my head on repeat for the next decade. What a next level villain song.

Also this gives me some strongass Joan Jett vibes. "I love wearin' the skin of dead girls rock 'n' roll!"

and I hEEeaARr yoU'Re RiiiCCHhH

Seriously, is this the next Top Chart breakup revenge song? It should be.

"I really LIKE that song!" XD Putrice. I love how much of an absolute BIMBO she is.

Rancilda singing the song again. "SHUT UP STUPID BITCH, THE SONG'S OVER." "Okaaaaiiii"

Matt Dahan's ability to riff off the main songs and create motifs is otherworldly.

General MacNamara? Is that you?! Oh wait, nope. Still my slutty, slutty bard.

I LOOOOOOOVE this badass electric guitar intro, holy shit.

Kim Whalen, the queen, getting the bitchin' entrance she deserves.

Starkid is so, so good at their sound design to help immerse you in a scene without blowing a big budget or doing anything elaborate.

...Kim. My girl. Your arms must be tired.

She's just standing there, but Kim's stage presence is still so strong.

I can't get over how Jon's Sir Hops-A-Lot's voice is just a small...ahem. Hop, skip, and a jump away from Wiggly's.

JOEY. THAT ACCENT. You ABSOLUTE genius idiot. I love you for this stupidass voice.

Joey's bowl cut makes me giggle like mad.

I love these two puppets SO much.

GIT IT, KIM.

The call and response bit with Ella and the Goddess reminds me of Hamilton when Washington is dictating his Farewell Address. I know it's gotta be in other musicals, too, but that's the clearest comparison for this nerd at the moment.

Jeff sneaking in the "castle on a hill" song reference in this song.

Kim and Bryce dueting together is just Power incarnate. Holy cow. It's so good.

"You shall be as radiant and terrible as I." Ooooooh. Yes. Gimme.

The Narrator sneaking out from amidst the ensemble to finish off the song was really neat.

That fading spotlight before curtain for intermission with just Ella's face in view is so beautiful and haunting. What an epic close to Act I.

Also, it seems like this was also a strategic way to imply Ella's outfit being transformed there on stage during the song without actually having to do the tricky costume designing quick-change theater miracles of an ACTUAL outfit transformation. Which is really brilliant. Leave the audience to wonder until post-intermission about what Ella's starlight dress will look like.

[sylvienerevarine]

Sylvienerevarine.tumblr.com's Extremely Sexy And Glamorous Fic Rec List

2024 was a banner year for me specifically in terms of both reading and writing a boatload of TES fanfic. With the New Year fast approaching I wanted to give a little love to some of my favorite writers on here (many of whom have also been unbelievably supportive of my own work as well because they're just great people). This list is not 100% comprehensive because I read a lot this year but is a broad overview of some of my faves!

So LET'S GET INTO IT! First, a couple of series-es:

the Every Star a Sign series by @wispstalk

this series makes me feel more emotions than there are emotions to feel. I would kill and die for Tanis Irathi and I'm heartbroken he and Marty didn't get to settle down in a nice cottage with a few cats. That said, Tanis' trip to the Shivering Isles was pretty sick (good sick)

The Seasons of WinterCloak series by @thequeenofthewinter

I'll confess to having been an Ulfric Stormcloak disliker in my time. This series did so much emotional labor to fix that in me. Winter's Dovahkiin Dahlia is a relatable queen, and Ulfy is astonishingly sympathetic (and a little sexy, rowr). I adore that this series takes place AFTER the main events of Skyrim as well!

The Threads of Blood series by @oblivions-dawn

Like every sane person, I love Serana and want her to be happy while also going through plenty of drama first. This series scratches that itch in my brain so beautifully. And I know our other heroine Vigdis would hate my guts (because I'm a person who is not Serana) but I love her anyway. Sorry Viggy!

The Ebonsong series by @stormbeyondreality

Our loveable bard hero flees an arranged marriage in High Rock and boops around all of Skyrim while meeting scary vampires, Maran priests, wacky theater kids, and family ghosts. Utterly delightful, no notes.

The Illusionist series by @dirty-bosmer

Nim, a delightful Bosmer urchin, avoids solving the Oblivion crisis and rises to the top of the Mage's Guild while also joining every criminal organization in sight. If that doesn't make you squeal with delight I'm afraid there is no hope for you. I love you Nim.

And some individual fics that made me laugh, cry, and explode:

Fire and Blood by The Severed. If I had a nickel for every time a Serana/angry redhead story made me cry this year I'd have three nickels.

The Imperial City Irregulars by @nostalgic-breton-girl. Everything this author writes is amazing, actually, but ICI made me laugh like a banshee at the dentist's office so it wins.

Age of the Dragons: Blood Upon the Snow by @spinchboli. The Dragonborn DLC meets marine biology documentary meets terrifying existential rom-com that we all want, nay, deserve. I love it so much.

Thicker than Holy Water by Vhokken

Werewolves. Vigilants of Stendarr. Forbidden tragedy-gay romance. I'm sobbing already, excuse me.

There are probably quite a few more I'm forgetting but for now, this is your 2025 reading list. Get to it, darlings!

[sammy-deserves-better]

Hey people who definitely didn’t follow me for my AUs here’s another AU I thought up on the spot!!!

Fantasy/Royalty AU bam lets get into it

Julia and Bowie are the princess and prince of the kingdom, as you do, it’s gay and lesbian hostility in that castle every day

Axel, Wayne, Raj and Emma are knights with Axel being the head of the knights, Emma is also secretly a florist because why not

Priya is the head of the guards while Caleb is the personal guard/advisor to the king

Chase is a travelling bard who loves to talk about his ‘amazing’ adventures of ‘helping’ people

Nichelle is still a famous actress but instead of movies she’s like, famous from plays and all that jazz

Ripper’s a barbarian that’s pretty good at his job, unfortunately he is not taken very seriously

Millie is a famous writer but she’s so damn difficult to find at times and only a few people know where she actually lives

Damien is a wizard’s apprentice, he’s still learning but he’s got some real talent within him

Zee is the court jester, he didn’t even like try out for the role he just started talking one time and the king thought he was hilarious

Scary Girl is a famous necromancer because she is, funnily enough, scarily good at her job

And MK, silly ol’ MK, is a master thief who is wanted all over the world, but can never be located, always managing to escape at the last moment

Alright here’s some more details yippee

Raj and Bowie are like, in love, obviously, knight x prince romance! Forbidden love that isn’t really forbidden but like it’s super cute and Raj is so smitten and Bowie just loves this handsome knight that would do anything for him

Wayne and Emma are friends here because I also think they’re silly, Wayne’s the only one who knows Emma’s secret florist job because she trusts him enough and also he accidentally found out but it’s fine!! But he also nearly gives away Emma’s secret so many damn times because he’s just a little bit stupid

‘Man I wish I could get Bowie a nice bouquet…’

‘Oh well Emma is actually a fl-‘

And then Wayne gets elbowed so hard he can’t breath for 2 minutes

Emma also definitely has a thing for the cute court jester but she has no idea on how to actually approach Zee so she just sends him flowers anonymously and sighs while looking at him lovingly

Julia and MK meet because MK climbs up the damn castle walls at 2am and sneaks into Julia’s room just to rob her, gets absolutely slammed by the princess, wakes up and is tied to a damn chair with Julia right up in her face about to rip her to shreds and all MK can say is ‘you are REALLY attractive oh my gods’

This throws Julia off, they start talking, Julia realises that despite the fact she is holding one of the most wanted criminals hostage in her room, she wants to keep seeing MK because she’s entertaining and mean and just slightly pathetic, so she lets MK go on the promise that the thief will come back every night and so she does and yadda yadda lesbians toxic yuri wins

Millie’s stories actually come to life because shocker she’s actually a wizard in disguise and she needs to be really careful about what she writes so that’s why she hides herself away and is so hard to track down because if the wrong people knew about her magic capabilities oh no that’s a lot of blood and injury and angst and 10k words every chapter

Millie’s parents also had this ability to create anything from mere writing, they shared this ability with the kingdom, and so if an important figure asked them to say…make a protector of the kingdom, they would do so, and they did, and that’s where our villain/antagonist comes in but that’s a story for another day

The older gens are also involved in this one way or another as well, most are just backgrounders but some hold important to the story

Damien is the wizard apprentice to Leonard and Tammy, two great and powerful sages who spend their time helping the world

DJ is the one who taught Emma how to be a florist, he’s kind and understanding and always helps Emma choose the right flowers to give to Zee

Eva trains Ripper under her watchful eye, she’s proud of how far he’s come, but feels he can do just a bit more

Aleheather are the king and queen of the kingdom, Bowie and Julia are their adopted children

And that’s all I got for now uhhhh add whatever you want to this it’s just a silly time

[virgeandhis-pocket-protector]

Logan for the ask game?

OH >.>

favorite thing about them

YES, I admit, he's so smart and clever and confident but we all know that. Despite his being Logic, he tries very hard to be gentle and empathetic when it's needed, especially towards Virgil and Patton, and I love that about him. The smartest people are the kindest people.

least favorite thing about them

I have a personal miffed-ment toward anyone who declares Opinions as Facts. I adore Logan but I do start punching things whenever he starts dealing in absolutes. only sith deal in absolutes.

favorite line

OH ITS GOTTA BE "I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know i'm smarter than everyone else" alongside, ofc, from the Rap Battle, "I claimed to be the better bard and I backed it up" like come on KING THAT FIRE

brOTP

I'm assuming this means bromance (boy bestie). Patton 100%. Actually maybe Patton 90% and Remus 10%

OTP

YOURE NEVER GONNA GUESS ITS

(analogical)

nOTP

I'm assuming this means NOPE otp (as in, "i do not ship these gays") and for me that would have to be intrulogical. I like most ships, but intrulogical would just be at the bottom of the barrel. I do get it, though. Let the nerd and the rat blow stuff up and make out.

random headcanon

He is INSANELY good at baking (baking is very sciencey)

unpopular opinion

Bottom.

song i associate with them

I nearly melted onto my phone screen begging Spotify to show me a song that was PERFECT but alas. No clue! But if I had to pick, Digital Silence by Peter McPoland.

favorite picture of them

OH HO HO does fanart count? Here, some art by @/fiirebug:

ITS SO GODDAMN PRETTY!!!!

[just-an-elf-with-the-socks]

I've never really talked about any of my other LoTR and Silm ships on here, but I definitely have them and I also thought it would be funny to just make a comprehensive list of why I fucking like them at all

Aralas (Aragorn x Legolas)- This one is so goofy to me but I love it. I enjoy the "childhood best friends turned lovers during the middle of a war" aspect of it and the fact that it's pretty much two horse girls in a romantic relationship. It was mostly dredged up when I saw the rerelease of Fellowship of the Ring in theaters and was like "huh some of this shit looks a little more gay than I remember." Its one hundred percent the least angsty ship of them all and that's saying a lot considering they're one hundred percent not canon. They're cute, simple, and traveling together across Middle Earth as lovers makes me smile.

Angbang (Melkor x Mairon)- Oh boy. If you already follow me you knew this was coming. A lot of this ship revolves around me loving Mairon and his story and also the fact that my heart breaks for him. I love writing them and exploring the dichotomy of how to write them. Canonically they're both terrible people, so it stands to reason they didn't have the healthiest relationship (Mairon got the brunt of it). I love writing about they're doomed from the beginning, about how the people they already are guarantees that they'll crash and burn. But at the same time I like the cheesy, if not a little out-of-character fics of Melkor genuinely caring for him or missing him or realizing he fucked up by treating the only person he's ever loved like shit. I love the fics of Mairon taking care of Melkor, and even the angsty ones where Mairon isn't worth to Melkor half of what he thought he was, that it feels like he was never worth anything to anyone. I also adore the community of Angbang shippers, they're so tightknit and one hundred percent unashamed of everything they write/draw.

Russingon (Maedhros x Fingon)- I represent the duality of shippers that loves Angbang but also adores Russingon and wants to kill Sauron when it comes to the latter ship. Maedhros actually is my favorite Silm character and a lot of that revolves around personal reasons and also the fact that I have a lot of intense feelings about him (as we all do). Russingon is the closest you get to a canon ship beyond Beleg and Turin and the deliberate statements of "they were married" concerning other characters. I'm absolutely not normal about Fingon rescuing him from Thangorodrim, I'm not normal about the Helcaraxe or the First Kinslaying, and I'm sure as hell not normal the mourning that comes with Fingon's body not being able to be brought back. I also legitimately cry at the fics that write Fingon as waiting in the Halls of Mandos for Maedhros to join him because god.

Barduil (Bard x Thranduil)- I saved this one for last because they're my favorite across both mediums of Tolkien works and Thranduil is my favorite character (you wouldn't guess by this blog). Everything about Thranduil as a character breaks my heart once you look into him deeper (I have a type) and realize that the motivations behind most of his actions aren't a result of greed and spite, but a result of intense trauma and grief. And I love Bard because he's literally just a guy. He's just some guy who lives on a lake town with three kids and has a simple job as a bargeman. There was never anything special about him until he became a Dragonslayer, and even then in the Hobbit (the book version) he doesn't kill Smaug with anything special, it just happened to be his last lucky arrow. The two of them couldn't be more different on the surface. But they both lost their wives, they've both raised kids on their own, they were both forced into a position of power before they were ready and they've both seen the horrors of war. I love every fic about them, especially the ones where Bard sees Thranduil's wound for the first time and the ones where Thranduil realizes it's not so scary to let himself love again, even if it doesn't last forever. Also every modern AU is so fucking cute, I can't even deal.

I have other ships but these are the big four and the ones I'm least normal about and have the most vague ramblings of.

[professorshape]

My mind is full of BG3 but as my laptop is shitting the bed and I cannot get to decent Wi-Fi until Monday, I must sit and stew and write my ideas instead of playing with my favorite gay people. So here are my little thoughts.

I love the way that the characters names have something to do with their pasts. Gale is from a sea fairing city, so he is named after strong wind that pushes the sails of ships. unseen forces moving massive instruments. I wish we were able to actually meet his mother, she a spit fire!

Wyll's will is such a strong theme for his character, discipline is a key part of his character, despite being a warlock and under the hand of literal devil. A name also reflects massively on what the parent wants for that child. Very few parents will name their child shit burrito for good reason. I sometimes wonder if Wyll's mother, Francesca Ravengard, wanted to name Wyll Wyll. I wonder if she had other ideas, and dreams for her son before she passed. She might have been perfectly healthy up until the end, but labor is like battle and there is no sure chance one will come out alive. I sometimes think of the nights Ulder Ravengard spent without Francesca Ravenguard, holding his son. I wonder if Wyll was ill and Ulder was faced with the reality he may lose his son as well as his wife in the span of a few weeks. I wonder if he could stand to be in the same room as his son or if he worshiped the baby, the only living thing left of his late wife. I think that Wyll is a perfect name of him.

Shadowheart was a name that Shadowheart gave to herself. At first it was proof of her devotion, to the point others in her cult laughed at her. But in the end the change of the name also aided the cult in tricking her, it pushed away her family's influence and memory, while also making her feel like she had agency, leading to further disassociation from her past. Names have so much connection to the past it is one of the only things that really remains from the baby you once were to the person you are now, if you choose to keep the name. I think that the cult pushed her to change her name, subtly or not. It is easier to sever that connection with a new name.

Astarion is interesting to me because it's not a name outside of cannon. it makes me think his parents were romantics, artists maybe. His name makes me think A Star Orion. Maybe he was named after a character in a book or play. I'm not a fan of his name being juvenile, that he was supposed to be renamed as an adult elf. He was a magistrate in Balder's Gate, this man had a big boy job sending big boy men to big boy prison and everything, let's not infantilize him lol. I do like the nickname Star, but i think he would hate it. The drunks he lead to Cazador would shorten his name with their weakened tongues so he is not a fan.

I think it is crazy that there aren't more bard wizards. There is magic all around us and we can manipulate it to the point of making godly headshots, but I can't make my spells more powerful by adding harmonies??? Honestly i wish there more stuff for bards, but I automatically go for bard anyway unless i am playing brick the barbarian.

It would be so fun to have special character reactions to having your character named after another. Just let me slap Mystra's face onto my Tav's face and give Gale and mini heart attack when he's pulled from the stone. I need to play around with the game and see if there are any limits to the names, we can give ourselves.

I think that Jaheira and Astarion would make a good pair, he could be useful as a night assassin, and it would keep him fed. Also, I feel like Jaheira would appreciate a companion with some reference to what happened years ago without it feeling like to grandmother's talking about the good old days. I usually turn my Astarion relationships into friendships, and i think having someone who wants connection and intimacy without sex would be good for Astarion. Stable but not too invasive. He still gets to have control over his body.

Anyway, there are my gay little thoughts before school takes over my life again!

[homuraakemis]

My Favorite Arcane AMVs - Part 3

VI & JINX

Season 1

jinx and vi | forest fire [arcane] by losjk

Jinx vs Vi - Get Jinxed vs Here Comes Vi AMV by HisuiJIN

Vi & Jinx | Sisters by Gamerstrix

Vi & Jinx I way down we go. by Vlight

Let the World Burn | Arcane (AMV) | Jinx & Vi by InstinctRemains

Vi & Jinx ARCANE AMV/Edit - What Could Have Been by Cendrine ♥

(Arcane) Jinx & Vi | Come Play (w/ ‪@Tony_Stank_711‬) | 4K Edit by Visual Verse

(Arcane) Vi & Jinx || Goodbye, Goodbye by Mejjest

ARCANE: Vi & Powder/Jinx Tribute | Clarity AMV Edit by thedeadswonderland

Season 2

jinx + vi (arcane) - fray by LABY

Jinx vs Vi 「Arcane Season 2 AMV/EDIT 」 Point of no return by Blue~eyes TV

i don't blame you for leaving by muwnleyet

vi & jinx | ashes and blood [arcane] by Verta

Arcane Jinx/Vi [AMV] | Linkin Park - Good Things Go | (S2 Spoilers!) by Karin Sinia

"Always with you sis" | Jinx & Vi Edit | David Kushner - Daylight by mtredits

vi & jinx | always with you, sis {2x09} by cam

Sisters / Jinx/Powder & Vi / Arcane Edit by SpartanZeus7

Arcane | The Story of Violet & Jinx by HZ Edits

Arcane AMV | Sting - What Could Have Been by Varicon

JINX & VI (ARCANE) | GENESIS by iamstillblocked

Vi & Jinx || "Are we still sisters ?" (+2x09) by Sarah Reid

Vi & Jinx | "Always with you, sis" by AJ

Vi & Jinx - Arcane | Hayloft II by SpookyPlace

Jinx and Vi Edit/AMV - Hurts Like Hell - ARCANE Season 1 and 2 by Cendrine ♥

Vi & Jinx (+ Vander & Silco) | what do you want from me? by Powodzenia 1211

Who Is She? - I Monster // Jinx and Vi Edit by Bard 🌀

Jinx x Vi - ARCANE Season 1 & 2 Edit/AMV - Softcore by Cendrine ♥

Arcane | Jinx and Vi by KrakenRebel

vi and jinx | dream brother by nontechnical

Vi & Jinx | What could have been. by Valaki

Sisters | Arcane Edit (4K) by lolzey

Jinx and Vi - Someone Else AMV by Jeremy Redmon

ENEMY | Arcane (Jinx-VI) by E

Vi and Jinx | Lovely by Anna's editing

CAITLYN

Caitlyn Kiramman (Arcane) | Soldier by bazingonator

Caitlyn Kiramman | Crossfire by cedric

Caitlyn Kiramman Way Down We Go by Anna's editing

Caitlyn Kiramman - Womanizer by BloodRaven55

Heavy is the Crown | Caitlyn Kiramman - Arcane S2 Act 1 (AMV Tribute) by Solo Edits

Caitlyn || Vengeance (Arcane AMV) by True Comrade

(Arcane) Caitlyn | Leader of House Kiramman by Kat

Little Girl Gone - Caitlyn Kiramman (Arcane) by violetsforviolyn

Caitlyn Kiramman | Denial is a River by cedric

(Arcane) Caitlyn Kiramman | This is Deutsch by JaQenka

JINX

Season 1

Jinx: You Are Perfect by Daddynegan

[ARCANE] Jinx // Get jinxed by Tilly the Last Waterbender

Jinx | Get Jinxed by Gamerstrix

Jinx || Are You Insane Like Me? by Klaus Jackson

Jinx | Arcane | What Could Have Been by PLAYER8350

[ARCANE] Jinx // Control by Tilly the last Waterbender

The Show has just Begun | Jinx AMV | Blue Stahli by InstinctRemains

Jinx | Toxic (Arcane AMV) by Polunaire

Season 2

Arcane: Jinx | Break the Cycle by SWFT

JINX || Arcane | RENEGADE (extended) by InstinctRemains

Paint The Town Blue | JINX by HiddenLight

(Arcane) Jinx | Get Jinxed by Master Of Wind

Jinx : you're a symbol by multixxserie

Jinx | Let you down by MeTroCody

CAITLYN/JINX

Caitlyn and Jinx | Villains aren't born by Anna's editing

White ferrari | CAITLYN And JINX- ARCANE by moonagegrace2

jinx and caitlyn  #arcane  #leagueoflegends #arcaneclip #vi #edit  #jinx #arcaneseason2 by “twixter„„най"

Jinx VS Caitlyn - Hayloft II [EDIT/AMV] by KENJI ⍟

Jinx vs Caitlyn - Obsessed With Your Ex by Nostalgia per Second

Caitlyn Kiramman and Jinx Arcane Edit (We both reached for the gun - Chicago) by ju

VI/JINX/CAITLYN

EXPECTATIONS by Kel1k

arcane | hayloft ii [tradução/legendado PT-BR] by Bruna Legendas

Capital Loss [Vi & Jinx] by Sparkygirl266

Jinx & Vi & Caitlyn Kiramman II Maneater Remix by luthorsilver

Arcane | End of Youth by Psoma_Brufd

ARCANE - Vi, Jinx, and Caitlyn: the Unconventional Love Triangle amv by keels

jinx, vi & caitlyn || my tears ricochet || arcane by I'm gay and I edit

GENERAL, OTHER CHARACTERS AND OTHER RELATIONSHIPS

Season 1

Arcane || Warriors「AMV by Johan Liebert

Arcane | We Will Rock You by JaQenka

Season 2

Vi, Jinx & Vander Edit/AMV- Remember Me - Arcane Season 1 & 2 Act 1 & 2 by Cendrine ♥

Jinx & Ekko [TIMEBOMB] || SHAPE OF YOU 「Arcane Season 2 AMV/EDIT」 by Blue~Eyes TV

Arcane - Ekko & Jinx / Stromae & Pomme - Ma Meilleure Ennemie by Minamas

To Ashes and Blood | ARCANE by iForeverYooung

Arcane | how we kiss and kill each other by cedric

𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳? || Arcane by CoolDarts

VANDER / VI || MY FATHER TOLD ME「Arcane Edit」 by MixOVid

Vi and Vander||Whatever happens it’s on you by Bubbles Powerpuff

( Arcane) Vi / Powder / Vander || You're Somebody Else Now by Mejjest

vi and vander -like a prayer by WolfBlood

[shakesthewizard]

Now I want to know some of your polycule dynamic ideas for the bad kids???

This is a dream come true, okay walk with me

Let's start out with a couple of what I would consider fundamental pairings. In most any configuration of the group you can think of, most if not all of these are gonna be necessary for me to really get invested.

Fabriz. Duh. Need I say more.

Fabadaine. It's my fucking roman empire and I WILL go on about it for another thousand words if you ask

Figadaine. Support women's wrongs! Going shopping! My girlfriend is a rockstar and we make out backstage! My girlfriend is the elven oracle and we make out twice because she has a vision of it happening first!

I've also got some pairings that are nice on their own, but that I don't find like, mandatory if you're gonna sell me on something.

GorgugxFig. She's so loudly angry to hide her fear; he's so quietly scared of his own anger. She made him join her band and he's probably the better musician. They're so nice to each other.

FigxKristen. Fall into temptation. Make out with the devil on your shoulder. She helps you kill your god. She becomes your devoted paladin. The ArchDevil of Rebellion pulls you into a cosmic war against the very divinity you were the Chosen One for.

Now as for larger groupings, things get pretty fun. There are so many to choose from. Like for example:

The Bad Boys. Like as a throuple. Think about it. You're the cool son of a famous pirate; you're already kicking ass at bloodrush; youre hot shit. A metalhead and a briefcase kid latch onto you like barnacles. This is so embarassing. Cut to a month later and you're all on a rooftop sharing a cigarette and looking at the stars. The briefcase kid kisses you, and metalhead is next in line. Briefcase kid is also your best friend, even without the insane new tension and the fact that he can dismantle your coolguy persona with seemingly no effort. He tastes like burnt coffee. Even ignoring how metalhead can crack skulls, but treats you with gentleness and even hesitation, like he's afraid you'll turn him down. As if. His bangs get in the way when he kisses you.

The Bad Girls as a throuple. This one feels almost too obvious for words. Three girls who are all trying so hard and failing to be normal, but from three different directions. Imagine one day seeing the uptight wizard girl with rich parents and girl who tried to convert you to fantasy mormonism on her first day both walk into school one day holding hands with that punk girl who's in a band and who has already turned like six other students gay just by being cool and pretty. Then at lunch, they're all sitting together, and the elf and the cleric both have the bard's lipstick on their lips and cheeks. The cleric looks at you. She winks. You go home confused.

Figaydadaine. Figayda I don't have to sell you on, but you can't tell me Ayda and Adaine aren't so fucking cute together it hurts. They make spells for each other! Adaine has the key to the Wizard's Synod! Adaine killed her dad with Ayda's spell. Come ON, this shit writes itself. Honestly Aydaine is so good by itself

There's also an extended world of qpr among the bad kids - Rizdaine would be a great example of this. I don't think of them as a Couple, but they are SO close and there's so much trust and intimacy there. That's a pair that cuddle while watching movies or doing mystery stuff.

qpr FigGug is another great possibility. Just take all the sweet support and kindness they already have and pry out the romance.

I think if you pitched me another pair/group I could find something interesting about it, but those are my off-the-dome thoughts. Thanks for asking!

[the-dreadful-bard]

The Dreadful Bard Rejanis Fics Masterpost

Last Updated on October 23rd.

Currently busy with life but I'm gonna get back into writing soon.

-

Hey! I've been writing a lot since the start of the year so I thought I'd make this post just for the sake of being well-organized. I'll update this as I write and post new things, both here and on AO3.

Here's my linktree!

Adding a read more link because this is a long post. Here you're gonna find the links to all of my Rejanis works and the summary of each one.

Future works post (Please take a look at that if you haven't, I mention some stuff that's very important for you to know if you like ANY of my writing and want me to keep posting it)

TLDR: New installments of the series, new oneshots for the collection, multichapter fantasy/d&d au (summary for it on the future works post so check that out), 3 other multichapters that may or may not be written, plus a bunch of other shorter stuff as I get new ideas and inspiration.

ONESHOTS

Oneshot based on this:

Under the blossom tree

Summary: Collection of Rejanis oneshots inspired by songs.

stuck on you

Summary: Regina gets home sleep-deprived and exhausted after a hard day at the office, but realizes she forgot her keys at work. Too tired to drive back to fetch the keys, she tries to get in through the window but gets stuck. Luckily for her, the fire department sends her aid in the form of one Janis ‘Imi'ike.

lyrics for a misunderstood mean girl

Summary: Regina hasn't seen Janis in two years because things keep getting in their way.

or

the one where Janis and Damian write Mean Girls the musical.

one thing I can't lose (kind of my favorite oneshot)

Summary: Janis somehow finds herself at Regina's door after the girl gets released from the hospital. Regina recruits Karen to decode her complicated gay feelings.

or

The one where Karen is a genius who can do no wrong, Regina is a feral chihuahua wearing a cone of shame, and Janis can't say no to her former nemesis.

feline disposition

Summary: Janis disappears and everyone is having a terrible time.

Completely unrelated to that, Regina rescues a cat from the rain in the middle of the night.

or

the one where Janis is a cat.

Attempt #19

Summary: Janis and Regina have been meeting in secret for six months and their communication is... not great.

Regina wants them to go public and get serious but Janis, convinced she wants to break up, never lets her say it.

or

the one where they actually talk after months of miscommunication.

Happy birthday?

Summary: Regina gets bad news on her birthday, which pushes her into acting like her old self with her friends. Janis won't have it. She has a plan to set Regina straight, but for that, she's going to need her to be willing to follow her lead.

lights and sirens

Summary: “Oh no…” Janis whispers, grimacing.

Regina glances at her with concern in her eyes. “What is it?”

“I think—I think I'm hallucinating. I'm looking at you, and I- and I see someone who can't- can't be real. Oh my god, I might be dying. Am I dying?” She confesses, still staring at Regina in shock, her heartbeat skyrocketing.

Maybe the pain is driving her mad. Or maybe death comes for you in the form of the person who you would most like to see one last time, to make the passing easier. She never thought Regina would be that person, but now that she thinks about it, it couldn't be more perfect.

Old stuff from 2019:

Hair

Home

MULTICHAPTERS

threads, oil paints, and textbooks - COMPLETE

Summary: Regina George starts a new year as one of Elizabeth T. Richmond Public School's teachers and finds out that one of the new faculty members is someone she'd been hoping to run into since leaving Illinois almost 16 years earlier. A lot has changed since then, but as everyone realizes, Regina and Janis still have a lot of unexplored feelings for each other.

The ballad of Moonlight & Solar Flare (pls give it a chance i promise its really good) - COMPLETE

Summary: Regina and Janis, as Moonlight & Solar Flare, used to fight crime together until something drove them to opposite sides, and their relationship didn't survive. Now, three years later, they realize it's not quite so easy to get rid of the love they once shared when a chain of events leads them back to each other.

SERIES

you set my world on fire

Basically, it's a continuation of the canon universe, starting during Spring Fling.

Summary for part 1: After getting hit by the bus, Regina is forced to come to terms with something she'd been running away from since she was a kid.

you set my world on fire (Part 1)

there's an old song (i wrote for you) (Part 2)

timeless like you and me (Part 3)

can't help myself (when you get close to me) (Part 4)

say you'll always keep me (Part 5)

you're still the one (Part 6)

uninvited (Part 7)

one that makes me sing (Part 8)

nothing in the world belongs to me (but my love) (Part 9)

birds of a feather (Part 10)

PS: new installments in the future

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW

Please, if you like any of these fics and want more of them, don't only leave kudos on my stuff, leave comments too! I don't care how small those comments are, just please leave some, it means a lot to me <3

[artiststarme]

Based on this post by @anzelsilver. Thanks for letting me write this prompt and I hope I did it justice!

~*~*~*~

Eddie had no idea what was happening. Don’t get him wrong, the last several months have been great following his horrific encounter with the Upside Down, nearly dying, and then having to clear his name from a series of murders he didn’t commit. But other than his absolute shitshow of a Spring Break, ‘86 truly was his year. He had graduated and become friends with an entire group of outcasts ranging from D&D nerds, a band kid, and a jock. He had never imagined that he would become friends with Steve “the Hair'' Harrington but here he was. But that’s what led to his inordinate confusion. 

Being friends with Steve Harrington was confusing and unlike any other friendship he’d had before. They’d gone from hating each other from afar before their experience with Vecna to hanging out everyday afterwards. Steve would show up to the new Munson trailer with carry-out food from the diner and a blinding smile on his face. At movie nights, Steve would sit closely to Eddie with an arm around his shoulder and would hide his face in his neck at scary parts. He kept suggesting new plans or restaurants to try and would discretely hold Eddie’s hands out of view of everyone else. And when he got particularly excited about something, Steve would even kiss the corner of Eddie’s mouth! 

Now, Eddie had never been friends with a jock before. So he assumes that Steve’s touchiness is due to trauma bonding and jock culture and he doesn’t question it. He continues to hang out with Steve without limitation but all of the touching and everything with a straight guy is confusing for Eddie. Then, a nice guy approaches him at the Hideout after a set and Eddie really has no reason not to agree to go on a date. The fleeting touches from Steve and all around “good guy-ness” has been leaving Eddie feeling unfulfilled and frankly pathetic. He vowed not to crush on another straight guy after what happened last time yet here he was. So, what better way to get over his unrequited crush on Steve than to go out with another guy?

It’s at another Party movie night at Steve’s house that Eddie tells the group. “Look guys, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to postpone Hellfire this week.”

There was a moment of calmness before the kids erupted. 

“Postpone? POSTPONE?!” Mike screams, being the indignant little shit that he is. 

“Eddie, you can’t postpone! You didn’t even postpone for Lucas when he had his basketball game!” Dustin tries, aiming a well-aimed punch at Eddie’s guilt for that particular past decision. Lesson learned, Henderson. 

“Yeah, you said you never postponed! What’s so important that you’re going to postpone the best part of the campaign?” Lucas asked, offended at the mere idea. 

“Well my little sheep, if you must know, I have been courted by a fine bard to be taken on a date. It’s non negotiable, Hellfire will be postponed to next Friday,” Eddie said theatrically. He was laser focused on the reactions of the kids and thus missed the questioning glance Robin threw to a rapidly paling Steve. 

“There’s no way. Steve said he’d sit in on the session on Friday. You’re not going on a date. You almost got us there,” Dustin chuckled. 

“What does that have to do with anything, Henderson? I am going on the date! Tony asked me after my set and I didn’t have any reason to say no! And because you can’t have a campaign without the DM, Hellfire is postponed. End of discussion!”

The room went absolutely silent, enough to hear a pin drop. Eddie didn’t know what he said wrong, everyone here already knew he was gay so they wouldn’t have an issue with that. But as he looked around and saw everyone staring- no glaring, at him, he knew he fucked something up. He whipped around to stare at Steve when he heard him mutter, “oh… fuck, I’m so stupid.”

Eddie’s eyes widened when he saw Steve roughly wipe at his eyes in an attempt to obscure the falling tears. “What the- Stevie?”

Steve just made his way to the back door leading to the patio and muttered, “I hope you have a good date, Eddie.”

Robin shook her head in disbelief. “What the hell, Eddie? I trusted you with him.” 

She looks worriedly in the direction Steve ran but looks back at Eddie with murderous intent in her eyes. She seems torn between wanting to stay and tear Eddie a new one or run after her platonic soulmate. 

“Go Robin, I’ve got this handled,” Nancy says like that’s not the scariest sentence he’s ever heard. She says it in a voice that makes Eddie want to run home and hide under his covers. With one more scathing glare to Eddie in parting, Robin takes off after Steve. 

Eddie was left standing confused in the middle of the Harrington living room, staring at where Steve once stood. The rest of the Party immediately started berating him once the sliding door closed behind Steve and Robin. 

“What are you doing, Eddie?��� Lucas, ever the diplomat, asked in bewilderment. 

“You’re a coward, what the fuck is the matter with you?” Max spit at him, her eyes glaring into his very soul. 

“Eddie, you just really hurt Steve. Why would you do that?” Will asked, his eyes open wide in shock. 

“You’re literally the scum of the earth, Eddie. What in the literal hell gives you the right?” Dustin said, really going for his throat. 

“Eddie,” Nancy starts and immediately the rest of the room falls silent. “I cannot believe that you would do something like this. After everything we’ve done for you, everything Steve has done for you, you’re going to mess it all up for what? A date with some stranger? I thought you were better than that but I guess you were right. You really are just a coward that runs away from anything important. I hope you’re happy with yourself, Munson.”

Eddie’s heart dropped at her words. He thought they were all cool with him and Robin being gay but maybe they weren’t. But going after all of his insecurities so viscerally? It made him wonder if they had ever been his friends at all. 

“I thought you guys would be happy for me. I don’t know what I did but I’m really sorry. I didn’t know that you would react like this.” He whispered, his arms coming up to hug himself self-soothingly. 

Whether it was the tears in his eyes or the sincerity of his words, Nancy’s intimidating posture becomes contemplative. Then, realization hits her. “Eddie, you do know that you and Steve are dating… right? And you just stomped all over his feelings in front of all of his friends?”

Eddie feels ice pour through his veins. That would explain the cuddling on the couch during movies, the sleepovers in the same bed, and the chaste kisses on the edge of his lips. Oh fuck. They were dating. And he just fucked it all up by agreeing to go out on a date with another guy… some, some schmuck!

Oh no, Eddie’s eyes widened even further. Steve thinks he just broke up with him and left his own house! Oh no! 

“Jesus H. Christ! Why didn’t anyone fucking tell me that we were dating? You expect me to just know these things? Fuck! I have to go after him, right? Goddamn it, you all fucking suck. No one thought to fucking tell me the cuddling and goddamn kisses were him wooing me? Fucking shit!” Eddie screamed at the group before turning and sprinting after Steve, his apparent boyfriend. What the literal fuck was he supposed to do about that?

He caught up to them quickly, Steve and Robin were sitting on the edge of the pool with their feet in the water. They both turned around at the sound of the sliding door slamming open against the jam. Eddie burst through panting and keeling over. Jesus Christ, he had to cut down on the smoking. Poor Steve had tear tracks running down his cheeks and Robin had a wet stain on the shoulder of her shirt. She glared at him menacingly from her perch. 

“Steve, I’m sorry! I didn’t know we were dating, I’m so sorry.” Eddie pled through his pants.

Steve’s eyebrows crinkled in confusion. “How the hell did you not know we were dating? I literally just took you to Indy on a date last weekend and was holding your hand. We’ve kissed!”

Eddie let out a manic laugh. “I know! I know we’ve kissed and I know it sounds stupid. I thought it was you being really touchy with your friends or like jock behavior or something. Steve, I swear to you, I had no idea that we were dating.”

Robin’s eyes were squinted and she asked incredulously, “how many guys are you kissing that you think kissing people on the lips is ‘jock behavior’? Do you know how stupid that sounds?”

“Yes, I know how stupid that sounds! And guess what, I’m stupid! You think you can be a senior in high school for three fucking years without being stupid?! No! But I swear, I didn’t know.”

Steve shook his head, “no, you’re not stupid. This is my fault. I know you wouldn’t want to date me and I misunderstood-”

“Steve, of course I want to date you! You’re perfect and I love you, why wouldn’t I want to be your boyfriend? I’m just really fucking dumb and didn’t realize. I am so sorry.”

Robin was watching the two of them talk like a tennis match. She had no idea what was happening but holy shit, it felt like she was in a sitcom. Steve stood from his position at the pool and took a step towards Eddie. “You would date me?”

Eddie nodded vigorously, “of fucking course, Steve! The only reason I agreed to go on a date with Tony in the first place is because I wanted to get over you. All of the touching and flirting had me out of my mind because I thought I couldn’t have you, man. I was going crazy.”

Steve moved closer so they were nose to nose and glanced down at his lips. “Don’t call me ‘man’.” 

Eddie licked his lips and watched Steve’s eyes track the movement. “What’re you going to do about it, big boy?”

Steve’s lips surged forward to meet his own, fully this time in a way the chaste kisses in the past hadn’t before. Eddie felt butterflies in his stomach and electricity down to his toes. He was flying on cloud nine and he had never felt such happiness, such contentment and-

“Eh em, excuse me. Hey, be respectful of the lesbian eyes over here! I don’t need to see any of this. Eddie, stop with the tongue!” Robin shrieked, breaking his haze of Steve Harrington-induced bliss. 

Steve pulled back enough to murmur against his lips, “Eddie, would you go on a date with me?”

Eddie smirked and with his eyes still closed, he whispered, “I thought you’d never ask, Stevie.”

[lifes-line]

In honor of the Adventure Zone and the suffering game coming out soon I’m gonna talk about the moments in The Adventure Zone that got me the most emotional

Obviously spoilers for the Adventure Zone

5. Johann the Bard’s death

This one I think caught the majority of TAZ fans off guard. Whenever an NPC died.. it was always during the events of recovering a grand relic - never after the mission. It’s like-

Johann was here. And then he wasn’t.

And most people grew very attached to Johann during the episodes and arcs of making fun of him, asking if they’re ok with being forgotten, him and his relationship with the Void Fish— and to include this with my number 5

WHEN MAGNUS AT THE END OF THE PODCAST

NAMES HIS FUCKING DOG AFTER JOHANN

OHMYGODDD

4. Meeting Lup

Now- not when Lup was freed from the Umbra-staff and called out her brother for being gay, while that was a funny as fuck moment, that’s not what I’m referring to.

It’s when we cut back to the Stolen Century and we meet Lup officially for the first time. I just remember hearing her speak for the first time and her antics and I remember being like “god.. she’s just like her brother.”

And we get to know her and it’s like- we also find out she is nothing like Taako. She’s more empathetic to people - to strangers- she’s smarter than him(like book smart) , SHES a nerd, she flamboyant and kindhearted and it’s like also-

We’ve known her forever. She was in every single adventure the boys had- she was this overwhelming presence in the entire podcast - from her name burnt into the wall, to “where’d you get that umbrella?”, to flying to Taako’s aid every time he was in trouble— she had always been a character without a name or face to her and then we she is finally formally introduced you just love her instantly.

That’s amazing writing.

3. Arms outstretched

Now this got everyone.

It was such a powerful moment between brothers and between friends- even Griffin didn’t see it coming.

He fully expect them to just let Magnus float off into the astral plane but then they change the entire plot of the story and saved Magnus and brought him back.

Taako and Merle both using a spell slot to bring back their bestfriend. Also foreshadows to their deeper connection back in their stolen century.

The music behind that scene was also fucking phenomenal it was beautiful and I loved it.

2. “You fucking took everything from me”

Ok SO- THIS ONE IS INCREDIBLE- it starts me on the same tangent every time.

In this moment Taako has fully remembered all of the events that happened before Lucretia erased their memories and he is fucking infuriated.

Because if Lucretia had not done it that day- Taako and Barry would’ve found Lup. THINK ABOUT IT - that day they were going to check Wave Echo cave- they would’ve found Lup’s corse and the red robe and the umbrella - Taako would’ve made the connection and Barry would’ve figured it out instantly and Lup would’ve been set free and back.

But because Lucretia did it they never went to WaveEcho cave and they never found her- until a decade later- Taako found her stupid and unknowing - took her umbrella and watched her skeleton decay- AND NOW HE REMEMBERS THIS

And it’s too late to go back to WaveEcho now, the fucking hunger is here and her corpse is long gone, if she was a lich barry would’ve found her by now, and if she was in Phanadalin- it was all glass now - where could she have gone?

Taako is realizing silently what Barry isn’t aware of- Lup was right there. SHE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM- and he couldn’t find her, he couldn’t save her.

In this moment of rage Taako realizes his sister is gone. She’s never coming back. Lucretia took his everything from him.

And it’s all her fault.

1. Magnus’s death

Now. The day I finished TAZ Balance edition, at 9:38PM, I cried myself to sleep. OF COURSE I DID

“HOW DOES MAGNUS DIE?”

SURROUNDED BY HIS LOVED ONES

WITH HIS DOGS

AND MAGNUS FINALLY ENDS HIS ULTIMATE QUEST- HE SEES HIS WIFE IN THE AFTERLIFE

Magnus, rushing in to everything because he ultimately wanted to die a crazed hero so he could see his wife again but still feel like he died doing something worth it just for her, who never loved another ever during his years alive, who turned down the temptation of his own relic because if he was going to see his wife again he wanted her to be proud of him, Magnus Burnsides whose ultimate destination and goal was to see the love of his life again.

And he finally did.

Magnus got the happy ending he truly deserved.

Magnus Burnsides is the most relatable character in all of the Adventure Zone(to me at least) I love and cherished him like he was truly my friend- so when he dies at the end of the podcast I cried like I was grieving a real person.

[merrysithmas]

warning: The Hobbit review where I am a hater lmao

I know I'm like a decade late to watching these but:

• Mourning bc we could have gotten Guillermo's version of King Thanduil who wouldve been the ancient and frightful Becoming-the-Forest shadowy, eldritch, eerily mad power-clinging creature we deserved but instead we got Makeup Vlogger Thanduil (which is still so funny to me I'm almost not mad) & jock spray-tanned Legolas. THEY KILLED LEGOLAS AND THEN LET A MEAN JOCK WALK AROUND IN HIS SKIN FOR 3 HOURS.

We could've had scary pagan Green Man Thranduil the ancient being who refuses to give up power so much so that he's being consumed by the (ever-darkening) Forest which he once ruled with magnanimity ... and baby!Legolas struggling with the isolationalism & prejudice he learned from his father's court but we got... That instead.

LMAO proof nothing perfect can last

• also Tauriel? every scene between her and Thranduil should've been between Legolas and Thranduil to flesh out their relationship, instead of sideling him for an unnecessary OC who was put there to fulfill a weird corporate romance tick box, a repetitive and boring romance nonetheless with a subpar stock Strong Female Character.

• The only good thing about the movie was Martin's Bilbo (spot on!!) and the Gandalf/Elrond/Galadriel teamup even tho it was a little infected with the Avengers-y virus for me, they're all just such good actors I could watch them sleep and I'd be like... Oscar.

• I also hated Bard (they shouldve cut Tauriel and genderbent Bard or a couple of the dwarves if they wanted to add women) and I hated the design for Smaug & the Trolls. No creativity there at all.

• The film had zero regard for tone and went for pseudoLOTR instead. Where was the fairytale-esque children's tale of growing up and leaving one's comfort zone and discovering the big, sometimes terrible, world? Where was the almost Winnie-the-Pooh shine which covered the Through The Looking Glass maze?

• Also, I hated Thorin (why did they make him Discount Aragorn?) and none of the Dwarves had ANY development... wtf? They were Dollar Store Fellowship.

• I cannot for the LIFE OF ME understand why they put BILBO in the "Emotional Supporter" role for Thorin LMAOOOO... what??? Anyway, I support all the Bagginshield shippers because everything should be, and is, gay. No issue there.

That's my review, overall I was deeply surprised how bad it was and it makes me leery about The Hunt For Gollum, because shockingly Jackson&Co are 1 for 2 in regards to triologies right now and the odds of it being quality are split.

IMO I genuinely feel like The Hobbit should be remade by another team, that's how off it was.

[thelostgirl21]

How to solve the whole situation once they've found Ciri...

Jaskier: I think Ciri should marry Radovid.

Geralt: Are you insane? He's way too old for -

Radovid: If I may, he's talking about a purely political alliance. I can assure you I'm gay, and I've got absolutely no matrimonial interest in your daughter. I do, however, so happen to have a kingdom that I'd very much love to abdicate from in favor of a queen that might actually have an interest in running it.

Ciri: I could use a kingdom! One that would treat elves, dwarves and humans as equals...

Jaskier: See? She'd make a great queen! They get married, Radovid renounces the throne, they divorce, Ciri inherits Redania - and with it the most powerful army in the North to keep her safe... Oooh! And Yennefer could be her mage adviser!

Yennefer: You sound like you've been giving this way too much thought...

Geralt: Wait. Redania legalized divorce?

Jaskier: And gay marriage, too. *Tries to sound casual about it.* Not that this is, you know, at all relevant to the the current situation.

Geralt: And why should we believe the King of Redania would be keen on giving up power so easily?

Radovid: Look, all I really wanted was a pretty song...

Geralt: *Eyes him suspiciously*

Jaskier: No, he's being honest. Had my doubts, too, but turns out all he really wanted, at first, was a pretty song.

Geralt: *Slowly realizes what this is about, an amused glint in his eyes as he looks back at him.* I thought you didn't do pretty?

Jaskier: *Dramatically throws his arms in the air, slightly annoyed.* Well, apparently I do now, don't I?

Radovid: *Smirking smuggly* I'm "pretty".

Ciri: *Totally missing the innuendo* You really are!

Radovid: *Delighted and preening* Thank you.

Yennefer: *Snorts*

Yarpen: *Points to Jaskier and Radovid* Wait. Has the lute-playing walloper been fucking a King?

Geralt: *Groans and sighs* Again, real subtle, Yarpen.

Yarpen: *Whisling while looking at Jaskier, somewhat impressed.* Didn't think you'd have it in you, friend!

Radovid: Well, technically -

Jaskier: Aaand on that note! I'll also need Ciri to divorce him, so I can marry him after.

Ciri: *Excitedly* You two are getting married?

Jaskier: Only if you are! Which, I'm aware, makes very little sense...

Radovid: I actually did offer to marry him first - and have Redania become the first kingdom to have two kings - but that triggered a bit of a panic attack.

Jaskier: Look, I stopped using that viscount title and left nobility behind for a reason. If Ciri can make room in the castle for a retired king and his traveling bard, I'd be fine spending a few weeks or even months living at court from time to time. Especially at first, so Radovid can help her get settled and update her on the most important issues that need to be addressed and resolved in the kingdom.

Ciri: Of course you'd always have a home here, and I wouldn't just kick Radovid out! Actually, would it be okay for me to let him keep his prince title? Just in case anything happens to me, and -

Yennefer: *Firmly* Nothing's going to happen to you.

Ciri: Yeah but -

Geralt: No buts. We won't allow it.

Ciri: What if I accidentally portal myself to another dimension? Wouldn't want to force me to leave the Kingdom unattended until I get back, would you?

Jaskier: Hate to say it, but she does have a point.

Radovid: Look, if that would give the Princess some peace of mind to have someone willing to be holding the fort in case of emergencies... But, if that were to happen, I'd be needing Jaskier's help.

Jaskier: *Shrugs* I mean, I guess that would work. It's not that I don't want to get involved in making people's lives better in the kingdom, or share in any of those responsibilities. It's just that, no matter how much I love any of you guys - and I really do love you - I tend to get quite antsy and unpleasant confined to a single location for too long.

Radovid: And personally, I've always wanted to travel, meet different people, and experience some of the tales that have inspired Jaskier's songs for myself.

Geralt: You know he makes a lot of those things up, right?

Radovid: *Shrugs* I think Jaskier's always told those stories the way he sees them - for what they are or mean to him according to his own emotional truth, rather than facts. For example, I've always thought that "Toss a Coin to Your Witcher" was about how the world tends to forget that, behind every larger-than-life heroic figure, there's often just someone that needs to be looked after, too, offered a drink from time to time, listened to, and treated as a friend. If accuracy or factually reporting events had been his goal, then he'd have become a historian, not a bard.

Yennefer: That's... surprisingly insightful.

Jaskier: *Swooning* I know... *Sighs happily* He really is quite brilliant, isn't he?

Radovid: *Blushes brightly* I take it my humble interpretation's not too far off?

Jaskier: *Leans in to whisper into his ear.* I'll let you know just how close you got later...

Geralt: *Confused* Okay, what's actually happening here?

Ciri: *Chuckles* It's called poetry.

Jaskier: *Dreamily, mostly to himself* You'd have to be a spoon to get it...

Radovid: *Now also confused* Wait. What? Now I don't get it.

Jaskier: *Winces slightly* Sorry. That one's on me, you're missing context. You're a spoon, Geralt's a hammer - just...

Radovid: ...different tools for different purposes?

Jaskier: *Makes a half strangled noise, as his legs threaten to give up on him.*

Yarpen: *Motioning to Jaskier while looking at Yennefer, bit puzzled* Does your bard usually do that?

Yennefer: *Looking deep in thoughts, seemingly analysing the situation* Not that I've ever been aware of.

Geralt: Yeah, no. That's new.

Ciri: *Incredulously* You've been travelling with him for, like, over 20 years, and you're telling me you've never seen him have a crush before?

Yennefer: Oh! Oh. Yeah, that's um - okay. I think you're right - I mean, I can see the nuance.

Jaskier (*slowly coming back to himself*) & Geralt: What nuance?

Yennefer: *Innocently* Nothing! Just enjoy your spoon, bard. I'll explain it to the hammer later.

Geralt: *Huffs thoughtfully*

Jaskier: *Still looking unsure* Alright...

Yarpen: You know what, I think it's safer if I don't know.

Radovid: I'm actually not entirely sure I follow...

Yennefer: *Uses magic to telepathically communicate with Radovid, making him blush even brighter.*

Radovid: No, I mean, that seems...

Yennever: *Continues to telepathically communicate with him, looking fondly amused, and just the slightest bit smug.*

Radovid: *Bashfully* I'll ah, I'll take your word for it, and thank you...

Jaskier: What did she just say?

Radovid: Nothing bad, and I'll tell you one day, when the time's right, I promise.

Jaskier: *Doesn't look quite convinced.*

Yennefer: *Rolls eyes* I promise it's fine, Pankratz. Now stop pouting!

Jaskier: *Sighs dramatically* Fine!

Radovid: But,to go back to the whole political royal union thing, I did look to see if I could just hand the kingdom over to Ciri - simply name a successor and step down. Sadly, changing the laws of succession would appear to be a complete nightmare!

Geralt: Meaning we have to trust that you'll honor your end of the agreement, and -

Yarpen: What? You really think that King's going to attempt to stay married to your kid with the amount of eye fucking that's been happening between him and your bard?

Geralt: *Groans* Yarpen, for fuck's sake!

Yennefer: That's a bit of a crude way to put it, but he's got a point.

Geralt: You know Dijsktra and Philippa won't be happy about this, right?

Jaskier: Yeah, well, good thing you and Yennefer are scarier than Dijsktra and Philippa.

Ciri: *Crosses arms on her chest, pointedly looking at Jaskier* Why are you overlooking the fact that I'd totally rip their spines out if they tried to come after you and hurt my family?

Jaskier: Gods, I love you kid! *Pulls Ciri into a tight hug*

Radovid: Didn't you say Yennefer was the scary one?

Jaskier: Like mother, like daughter.

Yarpen: *Proudly* I actually taught the cub how to rip out spines.

Geralt: *Gives two vigorous pats on Radovid's shoulder, almost making him fall over* Welcome to the family, Radovid! *Whispering omninously* But, should you ever try to hurt Jaskier or Ciri, trust me, you'll be wishing she ripped out your spine.

Yennefer: Yes, because I know how to eternally trap souls into an infernal dimension.

Radovid: *Hesitating* That's... oddly reassuring. *Visibly relaxing while looking at Jaskier* You were right, love - Dijsktra and Philippa aren't so scary after all, are they?

Jaskier: *Smuggly* Told you!

Yennefer: Are we sure we shouldn't have been warning Jaskier not to hurt him?

Geralt: Hmm... I was just thinking that, too.

[lazyscience]

DCC Challenge, Day 3

Time To Floor Collapse: 28 days, 2 hours (give or take)

Time for the recap episode!

Crawler @quartzandsundry

New Achievement! Hand to hand...support?

Well, crawler, you out here buffing, juicing, sparking like a motherfucker, and well, I would know. Hi to your mom, by the way. There's a buff with her name on it, iywim.

You and I both know I'm funny. Existential despair is HILARIOUS once you let go and learn to love the bomb!

Reward: A bronze Dr. Strangelove box! Inside is Major T.J. "King" Kong's Ride 'em Cowboy Hat. When worn, crawler gains +20% yield to any explosive deployed, but each wearing also gives a 1.5% chance (cumulative) of detonating a Suitcase Nuke along with whatever your other payload was. Oopsie-daisy! Hope you're wearing your lead-lined BigBois!

Crawler @kathrynalexao3:

New Achievement! Skibidi Bobbity Boo!

Through the magic of bribery and subversion, you've escaped the marauding troupe of tweens! Well played - give a mob a meal, you have something to feed forever. Teach a mob to focus on an objective and you've taught it to hunt!

That's a bold strategy, Cotton, let's see how it pays off for you. Or future crawlers, I'm not picky.

(tell me something while we're talking, just why is it SO many Earth sports involve balls and kicking them? I mean, not like graphic pain and humiliation aren't my jam, but - oh. it's not that kind of ball? Bo-ring! At least there's still CTE. My faith in you is slightly restored!)

Reward: A silver Lord Stanley's Cup box, including a refilling stamina potion +3, in a metal cup large enough to water a draft animal. Also a pair of ice skates. You know, in case you were dumped into the middle of a merciless icy vortex with mobs hurtling small circular projectiles. You never know what might come in handy!

Crawler @king-ofconfusion:

New Achievement! Breathe Where You're Planted!

Congratulations, crawler, despite the fact that it probably burns more than a little bit, you are still breathing. Good for you, that was a long fucking way underwater. Oh well, better luck for me next time!

And watch out for that grabby ooze. Why do some mobs just not know when to give up? Sometimes you just have to let go and let the AI take the wheel.

Reward: A Bronze Dream a Little Dream of Me box! Inside is one sheet music scroll for Entourage (1969 Remix), which summons an extremely bitchy, gay and drunk illusion of your party to confuse the issue while you escape! Also inflicts the Tipsy and Thirsty debuffs on mobs and non-partied crawlers if cast with sufficient skill (get out of there fast, because NOBODY wants to see a Thirsty Danger Dingo. Not even me.)

Crawler @oreniaa:

New Achievement! The Pen Is Mighty!

Bards, man. What you all can't do with a well-placed word. It seems like a waste of a perfectly good award to give you anything to do with them.

So I won't!

Reward: A Silver Tombow box! Inside are Blitz Sticks x 10 (good for trading! yeah! sure! right! Artistic types never make shitty decisions to enhance their perception and mana!) and Q's Exploding Pen. It originally also had 10 charges, but that Bond, he's such a kidder, who knows how many it had left when he brought it back.

Crawler @cairfrey :

New Achievement! All Revved Up And Ready to Go

The kids are losing their minds? You don't say! But by sticking it to the Sex Police, I gotta hand it to you. Gloved, I gotta hand it to you. Frankly, there was nobody asking for a case of Enthusiastic Double Gonorrhea more than the Purity Police. But I'd watch it if I was you. From the looks on their faces, the next burning sensation YOU feel might be a level 16 Fireball. Use protection, crawler!

Reward: A Silver Hole box! With a TOME of Hole, you perverts. The spell, Hole. Well, OK, there might be some Yog's Enchanted Chain in there. I promise not to judge you too hard.

(heh, heh, heh, hard.)

Crawler @deathdovesong

New Achievement! All Ends With Beginnings!

Up all night to get lucky number 7 - well, one crawler's luck might be another crawler's Desperado Club pass, but nobody in this party so far has any urge to get their Dirty Shirley on so you're probably safe for the time being.

OK, so a FEW of them have. Some of us saw what nasty shit went down in that skyfowl settlement, lazyscience, Jake and Hardison. But at least you don't have to worry about being their drink ticket.

Reward: a Silver Rebel, Rebel Box! Inside, a set of brown linen Outdated Religious Order robes of +3 Dexterity and +4 to Stealth (+5 if the mob is particularly weak-minded)

Crawler @lazyscience:

New Achievement: Move Your Ass!

I see you finally took advantage of that training room, none too early mind you. If you're not careful, I'm going to think you don't like my presents. But you did in fact avail yourself of the tutorial. And the banging tunes. Nobody needs to know that you still listen to 90s and 00s booty shakers to motivate yourself.

Nobody NEEDS to, but they all know now. You're welcome!

Reward: Delaying the inevitable advancement of encroaching mortality! Endorphins! Good shit like that!

OK, fine, since I did you dirrrty with the music reveal, have a Silver Alchemy Box! Contents: Funky Cold Medina x1, half-used bottle of Britney Spears Believe (deactivate aggro snake and snakelike mobs).

ATTENTION, all partied crawlers! Don't forget to update me on mobs, quests, or parties (defined at link) so I can award you achievements! Please let me know either in the replies to this post, reblogging with additions, or hit my askbox/DMs!

(please, do this, even with small and silly mobs/quests, it makes giving achievements so much easier!)