#Less funny and more emotional today
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Mira: Violet?
Violet: Hm?
Mira: You're in your flight leathers
Violet:...yes, I am
Mira: You're beautiful
Violet: Thanks, Mira
#Less funny and more emotional today#Because I'm a sucker for sisters who actually like and love each other#fourth wing#rebecca yarros#violet sorrengail#violence sorrengail#violet#mira and violet#mira#mira sorrengail#incorrect fourth wing#fourth wing incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#fourth wing memes#fourth wing meme
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I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.
It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.
It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.
When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.
Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.
I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.
#one day i will understand how to convey self in a way that is Mine and also Effective Communication#but lord knows it ain't today#it's always so interesting to me the way people decide to position me in their social/power schema#the funny thing i think is that even as a toddler people seemed to assign me a seriousness and gravity of social value that was both#irrational and inexplicable and in many cases wildly inappropriate#apparently one of my auntie's got in a bad way of 'consulting' me like her personal spiritual guide when I was like#two years old????#and she had to be like#you can't keep talking to my toddler about this stuff#that's an extreme one but like#it's also in line with the trend#i don't think people realize how dehumanizing it feels to be Assigned Moral and Social Weight and Value like that#it makes it so painfully clear to me that i am expected to manage to accommodate everyone's needs while never having#or at least never expressing or acknowledging in the presence of others#any needs of my own regardless of their impact on me#sometimes I think people assume that I went into the fields I did as like. a white knight type motivation#or like#that going into the field is what's made me the way I am#and like.#not really. it's more that I knew my role in life was 'other people's emotional regulation/go-to anchor' as long as I've had self-concept#and at a certain point you've been playing that role long enough that your options are either#become a subject matter expert and contributer to the field#or fucking kill yourself#because you certainly can't keep doing what you're doing#i dunno. i guess i just wished there was anyone in my life i trusted to see me as the fully complexified and messy human I am#i might feel a little less like i'm the only real thing in my life#anyway i think i'm gonna go. dissociate out of existence for a while before i get the kind of suicidal that's going to worry wifey#i don't think i can cope with needing to regulate her out of an anxiety response right now and i understand that means i can't need care atm#you ever just get the feeling that you're drowning under the weight of the needs you just can never seem to meet? i do.
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Continuation from Part 1
Jazz took a deep breath. It's going to be fine. She can be normal for one night. Even if Harley is willing to befriend weirdos on a whim she doubted anyone else would. The shadow beneath her feed rolled like boiling tar and emotions that weren't hers poked at her mind.
"It's okay, Jet. They're not going to hurt me. I'm just... nervous."
She took another deep breath, she'd been told to ignore the closed sign, and entered the Coal Mine. She wasn't sure what she was expecting with a name like that, but it looked like a normal, if kinda rustic bar. It was empty except for a blonde woman in the back of the room, setting up a big table with food and drinks.
"Sorry, we're closed to the pub-" She started speaking before she looked up, stopping once she saw Jazz. "Oh! You must be Jazz, Harley's new friend.... You're early."
Jazz's face turned a little red but she stomped down her unease. "Yep! That's me. Early bird Jazz."
The blonde woman laughed wholeheartedly, but Jazz didn't think her joke was that funny. The woman walked over to her, "I'm Dinah, welcome to my bar. I don't often host girls night, but you got lucky."
Jazz shook her offered hand. "It's a nice place!" Though, Jazz didn't really go to bars. She didn't drink a lot and bars weren't really her scene.
"Feel free to grab a snack, grab a drink. I'm going to finish getting ready. Everyone else tends to be late. Which I guess means you're not early, you're here when we asked you."
"Oh, alright! I'll remember to be late next time." Why did she say that? That's so stupid and rude.... But Dinah laughed again. "Right, um, if it's okay, I did bring something." Jazz offered the plastic bag she decided to reuse with a tray of fudge she made inside it.
"Oh, that looks good. I'll go get a knife and plate to set it out with the other snacks."
Jazz more or less sat in awkward silence as Dinah did her thing getting ready. She wanted to offer to help, but this is Dinah's bar. If anyone else was there, Jazz wouldn't feel the need to help, and she didn't want to get in the way. But this was a private party, so maybe Jazz should offer to help. Just to carry stuff to the table or-
Then the door opened again and two women came through. One was in an expensive looking leather jacket and with short brown hair and the other had a cheap looking leather jacket with long brown hair. The short haired woman started talking before she was even all the way through the door. "Dinah, you would not believe how bad traffic is downtown today. An entire hour to get from 19th to- oh, hello."
Jazz jumped to her feet when the woman addressed her. "Hi, I'm Jazz."
"Selina." She said with a raised eyebrow.
"Harley invited her." The long haired woman said. "You really should read the texts."
"I don't want to set a precedent."
"Still." The long haired woman nodded towards Jazz. "Name's Helena."
"It's nice to meet you." Jazz said with a smile, but it started to slip at the sight of Selina.
Selina gave her a hard look, sizing her up, judging. "You're Harley's friend?"
Jazz rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "She's been to my apartment... and invited me here."
There was a beat of silence before Selina gave an amused huff and said, "You do seem like her type."
Dinah laughed again - maybe she was just easy to make laugh. The two walked over to the table and Selina's eyes immediately settled on the fudge. She opened her mouth to comment but the door opened again and Harley burst through, pulling someone behind her.
"We're here! I even got a special something for- Jazz! You're here already!" She turned to the woman behind her and quickly pushed something into her hands before rounding back to the rest in the room. "Heya Jazzy! I'm happy you could make it! This is my wife - Ivy."
Ivy stepped forward and eyed Jazz with more curiosity than the suspicion Selina had or Helena's indifference or Dinah's more welcoming demeanor. "It's nice to meet you. Harley told me about her little visit to your home. You look... normal."
Jazz knew her face was even redder than before. "Well, normal is the goal, right?"
There was a beat when the other's in the room just seemed to stare at her. Harley barked out her own harsh laughter, "Not here it ain't!"
"O-oh..." Jazz didn't have a frame of reference for this. If normal wasn't what they wanted, then what did they want? Eccentric scientist like her parents? Harley was a vigilante, maybe that's what she should emulate?
"Don't worry." Ivy said as she passed Jazz to sit at the table, a potted plant on a nearby windowsill suddenly, and far too quickly, bloomed. "From what I've heard, I'm sure you'll fit in."
"Harley said that too. I'm just worried. I've never had my own friends before." Oh, shit, she shouldn't have said that. Only weirdos don't have friends.
"Same." Ivy said and picked up a piece of Jazz's fudge.
"Here too." Helena added, and gave the piece of fudge she'd been holding for a while a curious look. It must be unusual for everyone to react this way.
"IS THAT FUDGE? I love fudge!" Harley said and grabbed a handful to stuff in her mouth. "This is so good! Where'd it come from?"
"Oh. I made it. Didn't want to come empty handed, you know." Jazz said, joining the other's at the table and taking her own piece before Harley ate it all. "It's my mom's recipe, but it doesn't quite taste the same without the low-level radiation."
"Oh, you have to put the radiation in it next time!"
"Do not do that." Three other women at the table said in almost unison. Oddly enough, it was Helena who didn't join in.
"Why was there radiation in your mother's fudge?" Selina asked as Dinah started to deal out cards.
"My parents are kinda mad scientists - kinda also mad occultists. All the food in the house was contaminated, and part of the reason my brother and I are vegetarian." Jack and three.
Dinah seemed to loose her breath before wheezing out, "Even more the same."
"What?"
"I'm also a vegetarian, mainly because of the environmental nightmare farming is." Ivy supplied, she bet conservatively.
"Right, that's why my brother's friend is vegan."
"Wait, how does the contamination equate to being vegetarian?" Helena asked - getting excited as Dinah reveals the flop, a good hand then. "Did it make meat taste bad or...?
"Oh, it brought it to life." Jazz said as she traded a card. "I can't tell you how many reanimated headless turkeys and chickens I had to kill. Not to mention the hotdogs Dad trained to attack intruders, they also attacked friends and visitors too. That was too much, even for Spike."
"Holy shit, that's amazing." Harley said while Ivy and Selina looked horrified, Dinah was as entertained as Harley, and Helena was enjoying herself. "Can't say I've ever fought reanimated deli meats."
"Bruce has." Selina commented, and directed at Jazz, "My long-term boyfriend. Thought about marrying him for a little while, but it didn't really suit either of our lifestyles."
No animosity, only relief. Jazz smiled at her, "Different people have different needs. Not everyone needs to be married with children."
Dinah laughed, "And boy, does Bruce have children! How many does he have now? Six? Seven? I thought I read on the news he's got a new one."
"Technically yes, but he's just fostering Duke, not adopting. Once his parents are well again, he'll want to go home." Selina saw Jazz's curious face, but deflected to lighter gossip. "I'm not the motherly type, not that I'd be cruel to any kids I could possibly have especially if they're Bruce's-" She sighed "-but Bruce lives for his kids. He has four adopted children, one biological child from another woman - it's fine, we both have our fun - and two foster children.... I think."
"You're not sure?" Helena questioned. Dinah put out another card.
"I think Steph is a foster, but I never saw the paperwork for it. At the very least, she's living in his house." Selina said, then stared at Ivy. "Not getting lucky, dear?"
Ivy sneered and put her cards down. "I don't even know why I agree to this game."
"Is it the one game all night, or do you do other stuff?" Jazz asked. She's good at poker. Between her enhanced empathy and psychology degree, she was rarely fooled.
"Depends on the place. Dinah likes poker, so we play it when she hosts." Helena said, she looked at Jazz, then Harley and folded her cards. "And we quit when Harley wins all our money and play something else."
"That's right baby!" Harley cheered and slammed her cards face up on the table, "No one beats the Harley!"
Jazz and Selina put their cards down too, face up.
"I guess there are exceptions..." Harley said with a mischievous grin.
Selina grinned too, "Someone has to loose all of Bruce's money."
Jazz grinned as the pot was pushed her direction. "Well, then let me know when it gets boring of just me and Harley playing."
The entire table laughed. Yeah, Jazz was starting to feel like she really would fit in here.
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#jazz fenton#dinah lance#helena bertinelli#selina kyle#harley quin#pamala isley#fan fic#my writing#my fic
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BABE i miss badass bau!reader!!! do you feel up to write something about her and spencer? 🫣🫣
—Spencer comforts you, even when you think you don’t need it. fem, 1.2k
You’d think that agents and staff working for the Behavioural Analysis Unit would use a little subtlety when gossiping about their coworkers. It’s in the name. You’re a profiler, after all, but you wouldn’t need to be to know that the sudden quiet that falls over the kitchenette area when you walk in is for a reason.
You’re determined to act unbothered. Only, it’s high school all over again, the whispering and the staring boring holes in the back of your head, and you’re thinking What are they saying about me? What have you done now?
Flustered, you make a cup of herbal tea and forget it on the counter by the sink. Humiliated, you rush back to your desk.
Spencer doesn’t look up as you sit. Your desks are together again for now, but who knows what whim will have Hotch separating you again. Last time it had been for ‘enabling bad behaviour’.
So what if Spencer likes to talk? He’d only think all the things he’s saying to himself. You’re speeding up the process if anything by listening. Plus, whatever the others might think, he’s interesting, smart and funny and he deserves to be listened to when he wants to tell you things.
“Hey,” you say, trying to push the humiliation brewing in your chest back to a quiet place.
“Hey,” he says. He talks to you in a way he doesn’t with the others. He’s more relaxed, less exuberantly friendly and more like a true friend.
He’s the only one in this whole office you’d ever want to sit next to every day. “Hi. What are you reading?”
Spencer folds his novel closed over his hand, an answer on his lips that stutters and fades. “Hey, are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You look unhappy.”
It’s that unfortunate moment that Morgan decides to arrive, a cup of coffee in one hand, a brown paper bag in the other. He shrugs out of his leather jacket, eyeing you both where you’ve stopped your conversation, the slight light of smugness to his eyes as he says, “Doesn’t she always?”
“Around you, Morgan, yes,” you say, turning your body fully to your computer. “That would be accurate.”
Morgan laughs heartily. “You love me.”
Maybe. You certainly don’t like him. Or, you’re annoyed with him most of the time. You wonder occasionally if he and the rest of your teammates are emotionally blind, considering the way they treat Spencer. Everybody makes their funny ‘harmless’ jokes, you’ve never understood why. They’re profilers, aren’t they? Can’t they tell it hurts his feelings? And they love to tell you that Spencer’s your soft spot, he is, but he’s also a nice boy who wants to be listened to above all else, so you’re a little bitter about it. You weren’t too sweet to begin with.
Today, you aren’t in the mood. You ignore Morgan and open your emails.
“You want tea?” Spencer asks, standing from his desk.
“No.”
“You always have tea in the morning. I’ll make it. Sit tight.”
You follow Spencer’s figure as he leaves. Morgan wiggles his eyebrows at you from across the divider.
“Do you ever think about taking him out?” Morgan asks.
“That’s an inappropriate question,” you say. You aren’t monotone, but you certainly don’t bustle with emotion either.
“You like him, he likes you.”
That’s exactly what Spencer needs, you think bitterly, the moody girlfriend, another thing to make him an outsider.
“You make each other happy,” Morgan continues.
“You get the same blueberry muffin every day,” you say, clicking an email attachment Hotch sent this morning distractedly, the temptation to roll your eyes at an all time high, “will you marry the baker?”
“I could. His wife might not like the idea.”
You hold in a smile. You sort of maybe do love Morgan, even when he’s prying. Better when Spencer returns and Morgan asks about the younger man’s weekend trip to Quantico’s seven floor library.
“It was awesome,” Spencer says, putting a mug down in front of your keyboard, his palm still warm from the mug taking temporary station on your shoulder. “There were more books about inmate crime than there were dictionaries. Is that okay?”
You take a sip of your tea. “It’s perfect,” you confess once you’ve swallowed. How does he know how you like it? He must steep it just as you do. Even the water level. You’d think it were the tea you’d left behind if it wasn’t in a new mug, scalding hot.
“Morgan, could you excuse us, please? For five minutes?” Spencer asks.
Your eyes widen of their own accord. Morgan makes flirty winky faces to hide his concern and meanders up the steps to Hotch’s office, pointedly looking away from the bullpen and your mess of desks.
“What’s going on?” you ask.
“I was hoping you’d tell me,” Spencer says.
He’s wearing his glasses today, a rare sight these days, less so at the office when you’re sure there won’t be a case to go on. His hair curls at the base of his neck and flicks out under his ears, brown eyes like the flat of a mirror against the light, dark and deep. You wince when you realise you’ve been looking him over intensely, averting your eyes to the cup of tea warming your fingers.
“You know you can tell me anything,” he says.
“Sure.”
“I’d defend you. Just like you would for me.”
You drag your eyes to his. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I mean, if you want me to go fight your corner, I will.”
“Who says I need that?”
“It’s Madge, right? The blonde woman with the pearl earrings. She and Andrea monopolise the kitchen in the morning and talk about all of us.”
You hate profilers, but you could never hate Spencer. You can’t find it in yourself to be upset that he’s worked out what perturbed you so quickly.
You cross your arms over your chest, leaning back in your desk chair slowly. “There’s no point arguing with them, babe, you’d end up at Human Resources by the end of the day forced to write an apology letter.”
Spencer looks like he wants to touch you again, hand heistant, fingers moving as though he’s typing curled into his palm. “I’ll stick up for you if you want me to. I don’t care if they make me write a letter.”
“Can’t argue over silence,” you say.
It’s a kind offer, and he really is so handsome. Everybody else in the office might drive you up the wall but he’s a sweetheart, through and through.
“I like when you smile. Doesn’t happen much,” he murmurs.
If it were anyone else, you’d tell them to fuck off. “Thank you, Spencer. I like your smile too.”
He leans down for a hug. Again, if it were anyone else, you’d wriggle out of reach and give a speech on boundaries, but it’s him. He folds his arms behind your head and back, encouraging your face into the crook of his neck as he bends to meet you, gentle even when you don’t hug him back. “Don’t listen to anybody,” he says, rubbing your shoulder with his thumb.
“I don’t.”
“Who cares if they’re talking about us?” Spencer asks.
You touch his waist. “Not me.”
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction
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𝖶𝖨𝖲𝖣𝖮𝖬 𝖳𝖤𝖤𝖳𝖧 -`♡´- -C.S
(HEADCANNONS!)
pairing: chris x (gf) reader, some reader x bsf matt and nick <3
summary: how chris would support his girlfriend before, after, and through wisdom teeth removal, as well as being under the influence of anesthetics!
warnings: fluffy!headcannons, dentist, mention of teeth pulling, little blood, slight mention of needles, anesethetics, established relationships.
authors note: kind of a blurb more than hc's tbh? it was a little rushed! sorry!
₊⊹⤑ you had been talking about how nervous you were for a couple weeks now..
₊⊹⤑ so it was no surprise when the whole car ride there, you were holding your boyfriends hand and avoiding the topic of what you knew was coming.
₊⊹⤑ chris had been reminding you everyday that besides the needle, the rest of it you wouldn't even remember. he ensured that him matt and nick would be there the entire time if you needed a hand or two.. or three to hold.
₊⊹⤑ with some encouragement (and chris lending you his grey zip up to wear for emotional and physical comfort) you did manage to enter the building just to get it done and over with.
₊⊹⤑ while the IV was intruding your skin, chris stayed next to you, asking about what flavour of ice cream you'd be getting after as a distraction from the needle.
₊⊹⤑ from there on, the process itself you had no memory of but chris stuck close by the entire time incase you needed anything or for some reason woke up.
₊⊹⤑ "hey sweetheart how'r ya feeling?" chris would ask while gently holding your hand when you come to your senses
₊⊹⤑ confused, your instinct was to sit up but chris would immedietly usher you to lay back down, letting you know that they're done working on your teeth.
₊⊹⤑ "why dtha fack is this bullshit still in my fucking arm then HUH?" your words wonky from the cotton in your mouth and the haze of anesthetic.
₊⊹⤑ "shh, were in public stop cursing like a sailor" "dude, nobody under like 100 says 'cursing like a sailor'" "yeah, what he thsaid!"
₊⊹⤑ chris would of course glare at you for agreeing with matt. but his thumb soothingly rubbing your hand tells you that he's obviously not too mad.
₊⊹⤑ you would leave later then you should have because everytime a password was given to you, you'd forget less than five seconds later..
₊⊹⤑ "it was ass right?" "no, it was GRASS sweetheart...."
₊⊹⤑ everything that came out of your mouth had the doctors and the triplets giggling.
₊⊹⤑ when it came time to take the IV out, chris thought that a 'got your nose' joke would be funny to distract you with. it was... definetly distracting at least???
₊⊹⤑ usually you were sweet to your boyfriend but something about anesthetic had you more than arguementative today.
₊⊹⤑ chris would try complimenting you "you look pretty even like this"
₊⊹⤑ "i KNOW i do. stop being corny you sthtoopid fuck" chris's jaw drops like he's offended but you don't care because nick's contagious laugh brings out your own laughter out as well.
₊⊹⤑ "i thought i was supposed to be the stupid one right now, not you"
₊⊹⤑ "maybe YOUU need to see the dentist about all those terrible jokes that come out of your mouth."
₊⊹⤑ you had no filter, just having fun rebelling against your usual niceness to your loved one.
₊⊹⤑ then finally the car ride came.
₊⊹⤑ now you leant on chris' shoulder to take a nap
₊⊹⤑ "thought i was stupid?" he questions, arm coming around to pull you in closer. "shhhh i'm sthleeping" the inpedament on your speech makes him giggle. "I SAID SHHHHHH" "jesus. my bad sleepyhead"
₊⊹⤑ the whole car ride he was making sure you didn't need your gauze changed, asking if you need water, offering you chapstick. you had to tell him to shut up at least 100 times before he'd relax, telling him you could put your own damn chapstick on. (you ended up asking him for help two minutes later...)
₊⊹⤑ the whole rest of the car ride was filled with you zipping up and down the zipper of your boyfriends sweater you had on, mixed with your favourite artist playing as you attempted to sing along
₊⊹⤑ the second you entered the triplets home, you rested on the couch with your legs over your boyfriends lap, singing a song that everyones pretty sure doesn't exist..
₊⊹⤑ "i love... YOUUUUUUU, i lovovovovovee YOUU, all three of YOUUuUuU-" "someone sedate her again." nick jokes while handing you an ice pack you'd previously asked for.
₊⊹⤑ "want me to hold it on your jaw for you bab- oh" before he can finish speaking you're gripping his wrist, leaning toward him "wanna know something?" you ask eagerly "hm?" "I LOVE YOU!" "i love you more"
₊⊹⤑ matt and nick didn't enjoy the next 30 minutes of the predictable arguement at all. ₊⊹⤑ once the delusion of the anesthetic wore off, you were just plain tired. nick and matt had both chosen to chill in their own rooms by now.
₊⊹⤑ the second you mentioned wanting to lay down, chris curled up behind you with a blanket over the two of you. he held you tight, muttering in your ear about how good you did today and how proud he is that you went.
₊⊹⤑ "sorry for calling you stupid" you apologize with a sweetly apologetic smile.
₊⊹⤑ "aw, it's okay. i know you didn't mean it-" "wellll sometimes.." "nevermind i don't forgive you."
₊⊹⤑ he'd make sure your favourite cartoon was on and that he held your ice pack on your sore jaw till you eventually drifted into sleep.
tags ᥫ᭡: @pettydollie @mattsrod @sturncakez @sturniololovesss @sturniolosstar @sstvrnioloo @watercolorskyy @sturniol0s @6ix9inewiturmom @sonicsmacks @orangela
#chris sturniolo#sturnsdoll#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo triplets fanfic#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo fluff#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo
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For the bg3 requests how about the companions realizing they love tav in the middle of a battle(love your work!!!)
partner piece to this!
Astarion
realises when he sees you cut down someone in battle to save him.
you don’t think twice about beheading the cultist, or shooting them full of a magic missile, or stabbing them in the guts from the shadows - whatever you do is equally wonderful.
his eyes go wide as he watches you make the killing blow. warm blood spatters on his face and, when you shout to ask if he’s alright, his heart does a funny little dance in his chest.
he’s alright. he’s the most alright that he’s ever been, actually
kisses you suddenly, the taste of the kill dancing between your lips, and stares at you very sincerely.
“I love you.” then back to the battle before you can press it any further.
Gale
if you’re a spell caster, he falls for you because of your capability using magic. you have a knack for it he finds delightful.
the twirl of your hands, soft speaking as you recite verbal components, all of it - it’s all perfect.
he stares at you, distracted for a moment, and then gets a club in the side of the head and is catapulted back to battle.
if you’re not a mage then it’s when you do something he taught you, silencing an enemy wizard by cutting them off when you realise a somatic component. you shoot him a thumbs up and he feels his whole face go bright red.
you listen to him. you care about him. and he loves you.
Wyll
you’re fighting back-to-back, fending off enemies as they charge towards you, yelling out directions for the other one to be watching.
“wyll! big guy on your left!”
he turns and stabs, running through an orc, and hears you laugh from the exhilaration of battle.
he realises then how much he loves you, how he’d never have any other life than this heart-pounding, blood-pumping excitement with you; and he’d do anything to keep you safe.
there’s no time for him to confess right now… but he does reach behind himself to give your free hand a little squeeze with his. just so you know. just so he can come back to it and confess later.
Karlach
raging, so it’s less her thinking through it and more a series of realisations which come to her all at once.
you: fighting. you: protecting. you: protecting her. you: capable. you: loveable.
oh, it all slips into place. she can’t do anything about it right now because her axe is buried in the face of an ogre, but after the battle when she’s calmed down she seeks you out.
is a bit awkward about it, finds reasons to be near you, but you manage to work out what it is she is desperate to say.
give her a kiss, and she squeals with excitement. she thinks you’re just perfect!
Lae’zel
ahh, lae’zel. would she fall for you at any other time?
has always watched your form in battle but there’s something about today, this fight. she can’t keep her eyes off of you.
you are flawless. perfect. dispatching enemies with ease.
she realises she feels not just fondness for you, but love. something she did not believe that she’d ever experience.
she is a little distracted and gets hit, but that just makes her focus back on the battle. you check in with her afterwards and she brushes you off, stomping away to go and mull her feelings over.
is… scared to confess to you. may do it one day. not today.
Shadowheart
runs over to heal you during a battle, your wounds are great, but you shake her off:
”you’re in far worse condition than me! heal yourself first!”
she realises how hurt she is for the first time. she sort of learned to deal with the pain as she was raised sharran, but… you’re the one who’s taken notice of her. nobody has ever done that.
suddenly she is overwhelmed with feelings for you. she’d been soft for you before, but now she is overwhelmed with emotion.
she does heal herself, and then you - luxuriating in the feel of your skin under her hands.
Halsin
he’s already fond of you, but the thing that really gets him is during one particular battle.
you’re fighting and he can see you’re doing your best to protect something behind you from your assailants. during a moment when an enemy is down he sees what’s behind you: a baby boar, terrified.
not the most pleasant creature, covered in mud and squealing, but you still are attempting to shield it from the battle, and when the fight is over he sees you use magic to talk to it and calm it down, check it over for wounds.
he realises how smitten he is with you in that moment. how much you care. you are perfect, and he wants to spend his life with you.
Minthara
probably falls for you during an act of violence, a particularly bloody kill.
you show no mercy to your opponent, opening them from throat to navel, eyes bright as you see them bleed out.
you are an angel of death, vicious and proud. you smile at your kill and minthara finds herself smiling too.
charming. you are charming, and that’s all there is too it. she smiles through the rest of the battle at the thought of you.
#shadowheart x reader#shadowheart x tav#karlach x reader#karlach x tav#gale x reader#gale x tav#gale dekarios x reader#gale of waterdeep x reader#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#astarion ancunin x reader#halsin x reader#halsin x tav#lae’zel x reader#lae’zel x tav#Wyll x reader#wyll x tav#wyll ravengard x reader#Wyll ravengard x tav#minthara x tav#minthara x reader#My writing#request
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“Ishq: deep and passionate love
Sufiyana: pure, sacred and divine”
Today we'll take a look at:
- what will your person’s energy be like at that time ?
- what will your energy be like at that time ?
- connecting energies between you two
- what will your deepest and most passionate love be like ?
⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱
꒰ What will your person’s energy be like at that time ? ꒱
Your person is going to be going through and processing a bad period in their life at that time. They’re going to be focused on self improvement despite having worked on it in the past and having strayed off slightly. They’ll be keeping in mind just how far they’ve come and waiting for things to get better. This time, they’ll be firm on not losing themself and all the progress they’ve made for themself as a character going forward. They’ll have put enough of their past behind in order to move forward. They’ll know that they’ve overcome many obstacles and challenges that have come their way and will continue doing so going forward. They’ll be someone who talks the talk and also walks the walk. They’ll be charismatic, true to their words and have a lot of integrity as well as influence. They’ll have walked away from something or someone that didn’t serve them well anymore. They’ll be letting go and releasing a lot. They’ll be soul searching and exhausted, they’ll have harnessed and attained a lot of strength and wisdom though. They’ll be at a point where they can think more freely and their definition of love and connections might be changing. They’ll be falling back into love with themself and also being more heart centered. They’ll be slowly opening up to the new i.e. things, places, people and situations. They will have a lot of compassion and will be feeling vulnerable too. They will have the desire to share their love with others but they’ll want to have their own fill of it first. “I’m the love of my life, how could I forget that?” is the energy that I’m picking up on from them. They’ll be trying to cultivate more joy and love for themself, and around them because that’s what they’ll be craving. They’ll just have this yearning for maybe someone, someday will in fact love them, will try to understand them and listen to them. Someone with whom they can just be vulnerable and release all their guards, and still be loved. Emotionally, they’ll not be feeling very controlled but they’ll still be trying to have power over it.
Their world will have turned upside down and they’ll be adjusting to those changes after having resisted for a while. They’ll be questioning life’s purpose and their own beliefs. They’ll be changing internally because their external world will have changed significantly in quite a less amount of time too and they’ll be awakening to a lot. I won’t lie though, they’ll be pretty shaken. They’ll be trying to stay above things, instead of letting those things press onto them which will lead them to exercising too much control. They’ll have a lot of repressed anger, frustrations and just unresolved issues within them. It’s funny though because at the same time, they’ll not have it in them to care anymore. They’ll be carrying the load of everything by themself and pushing forward. At that time, they’ll be a bit more insecure about themself and their image, and apathetic and impulsive in regard to dealing with their emotions. They will have faced a lot of disappointments in connections and will have the effects of that show in their personality changes. They could have started flirting or talking to people with not so good intentions. I’m not getting them trying to play people but more so, just desiring casual connections even though the benefits of it are not so casual? They will be dealing with a bit of commitment phobia unfortunately. However, they’ve always been and will still be a passionate person who will be self improving. This commitment phobia is going to lead them to a lot of breakthroughs because like I said earlier, they’ll be trying to create and find more joy, and love within themself and will have a strong desire to just have someone, to share it with someone so well, they’ll learn that their actions and values need to align with their needs and desires. They’re someone who values the long term of everything so when they’ll be commitment phobic, they’ll be denying and not living in accordance to their soul’s calling which will lead to a very obvious lesson for them going forward.
꒰ What will your energy be like at that time ? ꒱
You will be going through a more pessimistic period in your life. You will have lost a lot of hope and faith. Your dreams, aspirations and visions for the future will have been crushed so you’ll just be honestly, low-key depressed 💀. You will be feeling funny, you’ll have lost all hope yet you’ll be finding it funny how everything played out. You’ll legit not know whether you’re supposed to laugh or cry at the life events that have taken place. You will have ideas about what to do going forward but will not have started working on them yet. They will be in process though. You’ll be feeling as though no one cared about your emotions and how their actions would affect you so why should you care about how your actions affect anyone going forward? Your mind and mouth will be very disorganised. You’ll still be trying to control your mouth though. You’ll have been exposed to other people’s lies and strategies, you’ll have seen the true colours of other people and you’ll also be facing your own true colours. You’ll be trying to be as honest as possible with yourself. You’ll have ideas and will be planning on the future. You’ll be quite chatty externally and learning a lot from those around you because you’ll be very vigilant and observant of those around you. You’ll be trying to be more intentional and focused with your life going forward because you won’t want to make similar mistakes and regret it. You’ll want to enhance your skills more and will be authentically trying to attract whatever it is that you desire. When it comes to emotions, you’ll have been betrayed, left behind and excluded by probably a group of people who you were loyal to.
It could be different people who do not talk to each other but they all happen to let you down around the same time. You’ll be breaking free from their restrictions and beliefs that they placed upon you. You’ll be trying to step back into your power and moving past the way you were mistreated and your loyalty, willingness to make things work, affection and resources abused. Much like your person, you’ll be a very secretive person and will be keeping all your emotions to yourself. You have a naturally really grateful, abundant and self sufficient soul. You’ll be enhancing those qualities of yourself even more at that time. You’ll be more self centered due to all that occurred in the past and putting yourself first. You’ll be quite self loving but will not be as tolerant of others as you once were, it’s good that you’ll have a really low if any tolerance for bullshit at all. You will be recovering but very slowly. The difference between your person and you is that, you were still healing things from way back in the past when all this occurred so you had to do double healing but your person had everything happen recently and were healing at a slightly faster pace than you. You will slowly be receiving hope and faith again after a period of deep-rest. You’ll be clearing your mind from negativity little by little. For some of you, you may have been having to go to hospital for someone or yourself quite a lot during that time. You’re also the type to get sick when hurting so you, yourself will either be sick, will have recovered recently or might get sick going forward. You’ll be feeling quite unstable and will be forced into some sort of isolation or extreme loneliness to the point, you end up recovering and kind of enjoy being by yourself.
꒰ Connecting energies between you two ꒱
You’ll both be logical when it comes to your connecting energy. There will be a need to be in power due to how powerless you were both made to feel in the past. You’ll connect on a mental level and will crave stimulation from each other, and I heard “see each other as equals” and will be trying to be realistic and mature when it comes to dealing with each other but will feel extremely vulnerable and bring up each other’s inner child issues. You’ll be like a mirror for each other. You’ll bicker and rival each other almost as if you were siblings. The way you bond will be very familiar in nature too, you just vibe right away but will also deal with each other in a very emotionally immature manner. Honestly, you’ll lack cooperation in the initial stages, when they’re in the mood to talk to you, you’ll not want to, when they feel like spending quality time with you, you’ll want to be anywhere but near them, so on and so forth. When you will truly be able to connect with each other is when you finally gain clarity regarding your life. You’ll both have to change aspects of yourself i.e. letting go of the past completely including the issues that it may have brought about. It’s important to be able to learn how to be present and be content with who you are, where you are, what you have and who you have in order to truly connect with each other. You’ll have to grow emotionally and be accepting of yourselves and all the situations in your life so that you know the responsibilities that you have regarding yourselves and each other. The most beautiful part is that you’re going to push each other and yourselves to this point of acceptance, presence and contentment.
꒰ What will your deepest and most passionate love be like? ꒱
Your actual relationship is going to be one where you both desire to give equally to each other. You’ll feel comfortable enough to show each other the more quote unquote ‘dark and dirty sides’ of yourselves, and it makes sense because even initially, you’ll both show the dirty sides of each other to each other and well, see it in the other person. You will be pretty hard on yourselves and also each other initially, before you even get into a relationship but this inner critic will only push you to work on forgiveness and self awareness. However, this will have led to unfair blame and paranoia regarding the other person quite early on so you’ll both fear being heartbroken and left behind. Despite this, you’ll want to succeed in this relationship, thinking that you not only bring out the worst in each other (because you do) but also the best. You will be attracted to each other and will feel like the meeting was fated. Despite how you’ll start off on the wrong foot, you’ll end up respecting each other’s differences and will feel like you’re stronger together. There’s going to be a lot of love between the both of you that you’re going to be consciously aware of. You’ll think of each other first before doing anything, you’ll consider each other’s emotions and share a ton of loyalty. The best part of the connection will be that you’ll have a friend, lover, family and rival all in one. Don’t even deny it, even if it sounds unlikeable, you’re going to love it. You’re not going to rival each other to tear each other down but instead to lift each other up even further. Despite, the mutual respect, you’re going to pull each other’s legs a lot.
They’re going to say something like “you? nice? PLEASE” and join their hands, being all sarcastic or they could do something helpful for an elderly person and go “see? how helpful and genuine I am? Unlike you” and you’re going to be all annoyed but you will start practicing being nicer, kinder and more helpful going forward. Physically, I’m getting that makeup sex or at least passionate make outs could take place. The possessiveness here is going to be off the charts. You’ll get jealous at someone even just looking at them and they’ll be the same, you’ll feel anger if the other responds to someone else, meaning it a certain way but you’ll take it the other way 😭. It’s not going to be anything too toxic but I can almost smell the burning through the screen itself 💀. The change in your demeanour when they interact with someone who’s eyeing them and vice versa is going to be very obvious. I’m not even joking, I can literally smell something burning. You could deal with this jealousy as getting overly touchy with the other or avoiding to other completely. You’re going to treat each other with a lot of kindness and compassion. Despite wanting to yell at each other, you’ll choose to maintain restrain. You will definitely put each other where y’all belong though. “I respect you a lot and I understand your intentions but they still hurt me, maybe we should rethink it.” One of you might say and the other will talk to the one in doubt calmly, reassuring them of the love they hold, promising to respect their boundaries and even saying something like “Please do not hint at breaking up again, I can’t take it.” You’ll basically become one and will be very passionate about each other.
You will try to deal with things calmly despite angering each other quite a lot and especially dealing with a lot of jealousy. You’ll share a lot of intimacy and will choose each other again and again, and again. You’ll never really have lies between you because one way or another, you’ll both find out. Sometimes, you are going to go into withdrawal after finding out something that they lied about. Supposing they lied to you about their past, saying that you’re their first deep love but you find out that that’s not the case from someone else, you’ll withdraw and isolate to think about it. At some point, they will realise that they will have to be honest with you about everything because you’ll always find out and when you do, if you don’t like it, you’re going to stay away from them for a while until you have processed it properly. Ultimately, you’ll both decide to let go of unnecessary fears and beliefs in order to enjoy your relationship to the fullest. Emotionally, you’re going to cause a lot of changes within each other. “Burning up in front of you, turning from a coal into a diamond.” There’s going to be a tendency to be moody and jump into conclusions though. A lot of jealousy is being hinted at in your spread. You’re going to romanticise each other and share a great deal of love though. However, there’s going to be a feeling, a fear that maybe it’s too good to be true at times. You’re going to be possessive and protective of each other, and feel things very intensely when it comes to each other. You’re going to love each other deeply and share a very passionate connection. Also, be devoted to each other.
You won’t mind compromising for each other but there are going to be days when you’re very busy with life and don’t get enough time with each other, and start going “you don’t love me, ofcourse you’re busy”, it’s going to be adorable though because you’ll be able to reassure each other and feel good knowing that someone desires you enough to want your time and energy. There’s going to be genuine love and adoration for each other. The both of you come from a background of being unloved and unnurtured, possibly even by parents, guardians and family. Many of you do seem to have parental issues. It could also be something like, one of you has parental issues while the other does not. You both are very excessive, you feel excessively, you do things for others excessively and you also love excessively. There may have been times when you felt like you were being overbearing but these qualities is what will make your connection so special. They’ll consider your issues to be their issue and you’ll consider their issues to be your issues. Despite being neglected and having made to feel like you were too much, like you weren’t enough, you’re both going to find love in each other. There will be moments when you’ll just be able to be vulnerable with each other. Also, they’ll make you feel so good about your body, they’ll basically worship it. You both have a pretty high sex drive as well. You’re going to feel emotionally at ease, satisfied and loved by each other, you will want to build a life and family together (whatever family means to you). You’ll feel like it was for the best that your connections and investments failed because you deserved better than all that anyway and your connection with your person will be the ‘better’, in fact, it’ll be the best.
⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱
꒰ What will your person’s energy be like at that time ? ꒱
Your person will be undergoing some sort of change, ending and transformation (possibly multiple ones). They’re going to be at a point where they’ve cut people and situations off, and will be willing to do so going forward as well. They’re going to be very ‘no bullshit’ type and also sort of cold, distant, possibly even rude if they pick up on something wrong from the other party. Acting flaky, like you have mixed feelings and intentions for them is going to piss them off like legit anger them and make them cut off the person who is acting that way. They’ll be someone with so much self respect that they won’t mind cutting things off prematurely. Despite how distant they may seem, they’ll be emotional internally. Many of their actions will be governed by emotions. They’ll be dealing with many negative emotions and will be acting out with some level of hostility. They’ll be releasing a lot and will have changed a lot from who they once were, and they’ll still be in the process of transformation. Emotionally, they’ll be feeling hopeless sometimes but you know how despite feeling hopeless and breaking down into tears, humans try to find hope and move forward, they’ll be doing the same. They will be coming out of this hopelessness, little by little. They’ll have the awareness that the worst is already over. During this period of helplessness, the sense of abundance that they used to function with but can’t tap into anymore will help them continue pushing through. They’ll be having realisations about endings and how temporary the world truly is. They’ll be very smart, curious and will be trying to look at situations that affect their emotions with a sense of freshness. They’ll be questioning the ‘why’ of things. They’ll be looking back at events that have occurred, the things that they and others have said, the nitty gritty and the details of things in order to seek the truth through which they’ll be learning lessons and gaining knowledge to find peace, and move forward. They’ll be feeling restless until they finally decide to look back and give themself all the answers that they need. They’ll be feeling wronged and seeking justice but will know that the world doesn’t really work like that, that it’s an unfair world that we live in. They’ll have the weird faith in karma though. Like, they may not believe in it consciously but the natural faith is going to be present regardless. They’ll also have faith in their own destiny and luck. They’ll feel like life is like that, you have good days, you have bad days, you hurt, you heal, you love, you’re betrayed, you receive love, you might be left disappointed but everything is happening as it should.
They’re born with this natural sense of abundance where they believe that something bad will likely lead to something good going forward? It seems to be something they unconsciously believe in, like they may not even know that they believe in it but this feeling is always at the back of their heart and well, mind because scientifically speaking, heart doesn’t rule over emotions, the mind does. I know it sounds complicated but they’ll be feeling like things are slowly but surely getting better and turning into their favour as more time passes by. They’ll be feeling like they’ve learned a lot from everything that they’ve gone through and some things did in fact happen for the best. ‘Blessing in disguise’ is what I heard. They’ll have attained a lot of wisdom and gained a lot of strength through all that they’ll have experienced emotionally. Where there was once emotional turmoil and some of it may still be left inside their heart, they will have more compassion, wisdom and just emotional intelligence. They’ll be much more emotionally intelligent and stable than they once were and will be trying to get even better in this sphere. They’ll be trying to connect their mind with their heart because they’ll have understood that nothing can hurt them more than their own thoughts and also nothing can heal them more than their own thoughts. They’ll have it in them to try and maintain more restrain when it comes to certain emotions and act out of, and maintain more compassion, understanding and emotional well being instead. They’ll be thinking about how to grow further and about their own passions. They’ll be getting more and more in touch with their own passion within their mind. They’ll definitely be very introspective and will spend a lot of time by themself in order to think. They’ll have gained a lot of wisdom and will be working with all this wisdom that they attained while they were thinking by themself, like within their own dwelling. They’ll have a more long term approach to things and will value certain old school values, they’ll also be trying to integrate more of that into their own life. They’ll be thinking about romance as well but in a more old school and traditional way where you’re loyal and are there for each other, and both of you are people with strong characters and refine each other even further while still accepting each other’s differences and balance out each other’s flaws. They’ll crave that kind of loyalty, stability and respect in every connection. They’ll also want to have fun, almost in a childlike manner with this close to them. If they don’t have anyone that close to them with whom they can share that kind of dynamic with, they’ll want that with their future partner and friends.
They’ll dream of a kind of love where even if you meet when you’re old, you’ll have that innocent and pure dynamic to a certain extent. They’ll burn at the thought of their partner having shared something that sweet with someone else because they’ll wish that that was reserved for them. They will be trying to and moving forth with hope and faith for the future despite moments where they lack it. They’ll be trying to have fun with life and accepting new beginnings for the best, thinking that they and their life have unlimited potential. They’ll think that while they had to deal with many endings and the emotions, and baggage that came with them. They are free to live life the way they desire which is a blessing since not many people have it. Their soul energy is going to be one where they can understand people really well but they’re going to understand people to an extent where the ‘people’ in question here might not even be aware of it themselves because they’ve not met themselves that deeply, because they don’t understand themselves and their true nature. They’re going to be feeling really disillusioned and will be realising that no matter how deeply they may see someone, it’s useless if that someone is unable to act right. They’re meant to have many realisations about themself as a person, some of which are going to be very uncomfortable but they’ll gain a lot of self awareness and truths about life itself by turning inwards and turning the flash light on. They’ll deal with a lot of fear as well due to their illusions and disillusionments, they’ll not know whether they can judge others, themself and their own judgments. They’ll have the awareness that things aren’t always what they may look like on the surface. They will be a very loyal and ethical person, and are meant for success, reputation and a good family/community in this lifetime. Career, status, loyalty, values, family, community, money are probably major themes for your person in this lifetime. They will have abandoned what does not serve them well and will have this recurring theme in their life where they struggle to be their authentic self then become it, then again struggle, then again become it, when they struggle with getting recognition, when they get a lot of it, when they feel like it’s been taken from them, like no one sees them to becoming their authentic self and becoming more rooted and firm within this authenticity the more they fall out of it and back into it, and this is what will help them gain recognition in life.
꒰ What will your energy be like at that time ? ꒱
You’ll have undergone some sort of a heart dropping moment. Like, something in your personal life or something that had the capacity of touching your heart was pretty much swept right off your feet. You’ll not be very open to emotions, you’ll actually be pretty guarded because your emotions seem to have been hurt. You’ll feel like no one truly accepted your cup of love or after accepting it, they acted as if it was not valuable at all, as if you were not valuable at all. You’ll be feeling really shitty due to it. You’ll be carrying the burdens of all that happened all by yourself. For example, a connection fell off, you’ll be the one having to deal with the aftermath of hurt, pain and sorrow while the other person will seem to have already moved on. You’ll have this feeling of heaviness in your heart. “Maybe, I took on too much responsibility for someone who didn’t even have it them to try and make the connection work/for a connection that was mostly/only me trying.” You’ll have faced major humiliation due to someone you loved, could be a third party situation if it happens to be related to romance. Ever if not, it will be pretty humiliating. This humiliation that you’ll face will be something that will be inflicted on you so that others can have a good laugh, so that they can have fun. This is really messed up honestly. A connection where you had fun and felt deeply, innocently and purely connected to the other person had you trying your best even though you felt like breaking, because you cared about the other person but the connection fell off and there was probably betrayal of some sort. It was very sudden too and then, your world came crashing down after which you were humiliated by others and possibly even by the person itself. You’ll not want to let go of this person, you’ll be holding on pretty tightly mentally and emotionally, even if you’re trying not to. You just won’t be able to help it, your mind will always travel back to them after just a few minutes of freeing yourself from thoughts about them. Despite this, you’ll be trying to. You’ll be self protective and will be trying to remain controlled. You’re going to be feeling abandoned, unworthy and ugly. You won’t be able to help but think if something is wrong with you. You’ll be feeling indecisive about what it is that you truly feel, truly want, should do. It’ll be difficult for you to distinguish anything because your world will have turned upside down. You’ll not be able to think clearly and will also be thinking about the connection that failed. “How could ___ have done that to me?” is the way you’ll be thinking. You’ll be deeply hurt so you’ll be contradicting yourself. Something like, you could be trying to be all ‘self love’ and preaching it but will think that maybe it was a miscommunication, a misunderstanding that led to such a point and will be willing to listen to and forgive the other person because you’ll still love them but at the same time, you won’t. You’ll be angry at them for doing you so wrong and you’ll be processing everything that happened. You’ll wonder if your trust issues or something else that you may have expressed, a fear of some sort was what caused them to do what they did. Your mind won’t be in the right place, you won’t be thinking straight. To put it bluntly, you’ll have pretty much lost your mind, you’ll feel betrayed, cheated on, unattractive, unworthy, undeserving, unlovable, lonely but you’ll still be trying to stay on top of things.
There’s a high chance that some if not many of you here have some sort of mommy issues, you may become aware of it, more aware of it or think about it a lot during that time. Action wise, I’m getting two groups here, one group of you, you’ll be putting yourselves first and trying to tend to your own needs while the other group will fall into people pleasing because they’re not enough. Both groups will be feeling like so but the way you’ll be dealing with it will be different. You’ll be trying to manage your time well despite feeling unstable and unconfident. You’ll be trying to adapt with life as it is. Childhood issues are going to come up but the first group of you is going to be very obsessed with what has occurred and the person who made you go through it all because you loved them, and you won’t be able to understand how they could do that to you because you would never do anything like that to them due to which you won’t be able to heal your inner child at that time. Both groups here are going to tap into their inner strength at some point, some of you before the other. The second group is going to tap into this a bit earlier than the first group. Ultimately, you’re going to be tapping into your inner strength and find control over yourself, and your life again. You’re going to be more compassionate with yourself and with others, and are going to practice love, kindness and self control. You’re going to overcome a lot of self doubt and will be working with self respect in your actions. There’s going to be an acknowledgment that you deserve better and you’re going to gain personal morals. You’re also going to recover from a lot of negative feelings that I mentioned earlier. You’re going to build more confidence and strength of character through what you go through. You’re going to be more withdrawn from others due to how much you’ll be processing. I’m not sure what it is but there are going to be two paths for you to choose from - do better or stay bitter. Even if you stay bitter, you will eventually want to do better. You’ll be looking to the future hoping for better days, you’ll be quite restless to finally experience something again. Your soul is going to be learning about boundaries and the importance of protecting, and defending yourself in this harsh world we live in. You’ll be in a contemplative energy where you have regrets and are yearning but are also being disillusioned. You’re going to be learning detachment while also simply being present in the world wholeheartedly. You’ll be feeling lonely and will be lonely. You’ll be realising your own tendency to have a temper and will be learning how to manage that better. You’ll also be learning that you may have been in an abusive and toxic situation even if you do not realise it yet. You’ll realise that not everyone is going to take responsibility for their actions or what they do to you so you sir take responsibility for yourself no matter what. You’re going to feel like you’re a person of poor quality but that’s how you’ll slowly build yourself, your confidence and reputation. You’re supposed to achieve a lot by yourself in this lifetime. Maybe, you do not like the idea of following orders or making money for someone else by working eight hours a day, so on and so forth. This is going to teach you how to be comfortable being alone and by yourself so that you can stay true to your purpose and finally fulfil it.
꒰ Connecting energies between you two ꒱
You will both be fairly different when it comes to your connecting energy. The saying “the world is a colourful place because we are all different” will be true to your situation. Initially, you are going to butt heads a lot because you’ll both be in denial of your emotions for each other and will be worried about having to carry all the load of a connection by yourselves. You’ll both think that you have a tendency of giving connections your hundred percent so you’ll be worried about receiving the shorter end of the stick. However, there’s going to be a strong attraction to each other. You’re going to be pessimistic and feel angry at yourselves, and each other but it will be because you’ll both wonder if you’re keeping your hearts on your sleeves. You’ll not want the other person to break it. Despite, the denial, fear and frustrations, you’ll want to offer your love to each other, and how could you not? Your emotions towards each other will run high. You’ll feel a strong longing and passion towards each other but you’ll also have fears. There’s definitely going to mistrust and a fear of investing, just to be left disappointed, hurt and empty. You’re going to help each other gain closures regarding your individual journeys because that’s when you’ll be able to truly come together. After meeting one another, you’ll realise just how far you’ve come. “It’s finally over, I’m finally over it” is a realisation that you’ll have alongside each other. You’re going to find a lot of fulfilment and expansion through each other. You’re going to grow in ways and discover sides of yourselves that you never thought possible. You’re eventually going to be vulnerable with each other and decide to navigate this world together. You’ll have a great deal of oneness and belonging with one another. You might also share a collective goal in this lifetime, something for the betterment of the world and its people.
꒰ What will your deepest and most passionate love be like? ꒱
The focus of the actual relationship is going to be heavily on self improvement and character building, not just your own but also your partner’s. You’re both going to keep a close eye on the other to see whether they’re progressing or regressing. There are going to be times when you’re too busy to spend time with or talk to each other but well, when you do spend time together, you will feel like life is worth living again. You’re going to have a lot of fun together, almost like children, careless ones at that xD. There’s going to be a deep sense of loyalty present within the connection. Despite how much fun you may have and how recklessly, you’ll also have extremely serious conversations with each other. There’s going to be this knowledge of “I have someone, I’m not alone” for which you’ll be so grateful because you’ll always help each other see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just each other’s presence will bring about the ability to let of a lot of stress and negativity. You’ll feel really grateful to them because you’ll feel and think that they basically taught you how to cope with life and face it head on. One of the best and worst traits that you’ll both possess is that you’ll feel extremely guilty towards each other if you mistakenly happen to do something that hurts the other. It is good because it’ll help you treat each other well but gosh, you’re gullible to guilt in general period. You’re going to be extremely grateful to each other for a space where you can be vulnerable and weak, and still be loved and accepted. You’re going to see the strength in each other even during each other’s most vulnerable and flawed moments, and that’s the beauty of love, specifically your love. You’re going to feel homesick for each other when you’re not around and find a lot of nourishment, forgiveness, understanding, compassion and nurturing in the other person. You’re going to have a stable bond full of emotionally charged moments and understanding. The best part of the connection is going to be the maturity of it and the fact that it’s grounded it reality, it won’t be an illusion. You’re both going to be committed to making the connection work and your actions are going to be proof of that. You’re going to be able to bring out the best in each other because you’ll accept each other at your worsts i.e. at your weak moments as long as disrespect isn’t involved. You’re going to have a connection in which one look at you and they’ll know what you need, how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking about. There’s going to be the knowledge that you’re the only ones for each other. There are going to be days when you’ll both overthink, you’ll overthink even if the other cancels or postpones plans but when you finally meet and discuss your feelings, worries and fears, you’re going to be greeted with a level of understanding and love that you didn’t think was possible. “Why would I need or want anyone else when you’re right here? I love you so much.” I’m melting. They’re going to help you become more independent and step further into yourself because of how safe and secure of a space they’ll make for you.
You’re a possessive one and they’re going to enjoy seeing you riled up over them, it’ll make them feel wanted. Your whole face will go dark alongside your vibe when you’re jealous and it will make them slightly uncomfortable but they’re secretly going to like it as well. You’re going to express your gratitude and appreciation for each other through both grand gestures, and little actions. The connection will give you both a lot to be grateful for. You’re going to be carrying a lot of pain from past betrayals and exclusion, and will be feeling hopeless at times when you’ll first meet them but they’re going to hold onto you and treasure you fiercely and passionately. The previous days when you felt like you weren’t enough, you were unlovable, they’ll be gone, the beliefs that you ended up developing and holding onto will slowly by melted down by their warmth, their love. They’ll make your inner child really happy. They’ll actually think about you and not act in ways where you’re left crippled with self doubt, and while it may sound like a small thing. It’ll mean so much to you. TW: if you’ve self harmed, they’ll probably kiss those scars. You’ll admire them and feeling admired by them will make you feel like you’re floating. It’s going to be a relationship where you’re going to have a crush on each other even years into the relationship. They’re going to want to be an active part of your life, they’re going to want you for themself and you’re not going to be able to fathom that you’re desirable. They’re going to be so gentle with you and you’re going to end up acting the same way for them too. You’ll love each other in the purest possible form. There’s going to be a lot of teasing here and there though. That will be a form of flirting for you both. The connection is going to be so pure. I’m getting you both being literal children in adult bodies. I can see both of you crying while hugging because you’ll be separated for a month. You’re going to enjoy the gentle intimacy that comes with putting ‘mine’ before any title or your names. You’re both going to be like “my girl”, “my man”, “my wife”, “my husband” A LOT. There’s going to be a lot of warmth and sexiness shared too. You’ll just look at each other and want to tear each other’s clothes off 😭. It’s going to be a connection that brings about a lot of growth and wisdom for you. You’ll learn how to be more secretive and private, and at the same time will have someone to share your concerns with. You’ll share a mature connection but with a lot of childlike fun. You’re not going to be willing to let each other go. ‘Birds of a feather’ by Billie Eilish is how I would describe your connection. You’re going to pull each other out of terrible cycles, especially, they are going to pull you out of your own mind and help you become more empowered by simply seeing yourself more clearly. You’re both going to teach each other that certain connections and situations were in fact just a waste of time and you’ll be happy to not have to deal with that kind of bullshit anymore. ‘I wanna be yours’ by Arctic Monkeys is coming through too which makes sense because your love is going to deeper than the Pacific ocean for real. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.
⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱
꒰ What will your person’s energy be like at that time ? ꒱
Your person will have undergone a separation of some sort that will be heavily on their mind. It will be something that they hadn’t seen coming, something that pretty much turned their life upside down. This event will have stirred up something deep, primal and scary within them. Their mental health will be on the edge but they’ll be having revelations one after the other. There will be a loneliness that these revelations will bring about which will only be intensified if they don’t have enough social interaction at that time but they’ll be thinking about things like loyalty, stability, growth and trust a lot. They’ll have a lot of things just come in and go out, and multiple thoughts running through their head at the same time. Yes, it is going to be tiring and they’ll probably feel more sleepy throughout the day than normal. I’m hearing ‘Shallow’ by Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga in my head. They’ll be craving change and depth at that time. There will be times when their thoughts get to them and they start wondering (almost believing) that maybe people like them do not exist in this world. “Maybe everyone is a characterless bitch” THAT’S WHAT I HEARD, I’M SORRY FOR THE RANDOM CURSE WORD. There’s this natural burn out that they’ll be feeling from what I’m hearing is either depression or something close to it, a deep sorrow, they’ll feel extremely tired everyday, and they’ll be craving deep rest. They’ll definitely be freeing themself from heavy energies in the realm of physicality though. They’ll be taking active action to break free from situations where they may be feeling hopeless, trapped, used, abused, tormented and hurt even if it means coming off as unloving. They’re going to be deeply wounded and freshly at that. They’re going to be at a point where they don’t have it in them to communicate anymore. They’ll be following the timeless philosophy of “sometimes not communicating is the best form of communication.” They will be very vulnerable at that time and will be very serious in dealing with things. After not taking things personally for a long time, they’ll finally be taking things personally. They’re going to be very serious when it comes to dealing and will not be able to have fun due to the deep sorrow that will be weighing them down.
However, there will be times when they will be acting childish, reckless and having too much fun, or faking it in hopes that it could make them feel better even though they’ll know that it’s a lost cause. Now the chapter is closed and done, it’s goodbye, it’s goodbye for us.” ‘Lose you to love me’ by Selena Gomez is almost a theme song in this situation. They’ll be learning a lot about life and their own emotional nature by themself. They’ll also be connecting deeper with their values, the ones that they were raised with but drifted from. They’ll be like “maybe those values were there to protect me and help me lead a good life after all.” They’re going to be slowly recovering from the heartbreak but are going to be having relapses. They’ll be looking back at what could have been done differently and will also be yearning for what’s been gone, what they had to walk away from. However, they’re going to be holding a lot of anger within them and will have no tolerance for any bullshit, and further heartache. When it comes to their soul energy, they’ll still be deeply attached to and tempted with the past ways. They’ll be obsessed with the situations that will have occurred, unable to stop thinking about them and just let them go. They’ll be feeling really betrayed. I’m getting that if it was a romantic break up, their partner got seduced by a third party, if it wasn’t a break up, someone led them on just to choose someone else or if it was a friendship breakup, they started excluding them and choosing other people over them instead. Honestly, all of this could have happened in a string, one after the other. They will be awakening and seeing the illusions that they had believed in for maybe a long time that caused them to waste time. They’ll be realising the truth of it and will have bittersweet feelings about it. They’ll just be like “oh it was not real and I can finally accept it but I already wasted so much time, what was the purpose of it all? I feel so empty.” They’ll be mourning and crying over what’s been lost and all the neglect that they faced, allowed and inflicted upon themself. All of this will have happened and will be happening so that they can step into their true and most authentic self. They’ll be processing the anger and pain of it so that they can finally step into who they are, fully and unapologetically. Oh yeah, it just popped up but they may have also undergone someone’s passing and might be in mourning over that.
꒰ What will your energy be like at that time ? ꒱
This is funny, pretty much the same cards came out for you except a few different ones here and there. You’ll have undergone some sort of a separation as well and it’ll be at the back of your mind. You’ll have started taking life very seriously while still craving fun. You’ll be at a pretty unstable place too so you’ll be trying to fix that. You’re going to be thinking about connections and situations that weren’t very nurturing for you but instead proved to be pretty much the opposite of it. You’ll be thinking about how you were neglected and just kept on suppressing the feeling again, and again until you couldn’t take it anymore. This is the kind of energy where if your friend makes fun of you once, you may laugh, the second time, you may laugh, the third time, you’ll feel bad but will laugh but the forth time onwards you’ll not find it funny anymore but instead you’ll find it disrespectful. That’s kind of what will have occurred for you. Emotionally, you’ll be seeing past the illusions and will feel like you lack options, and opportunities. You’ll just have a major reality check much like your person that will cause you to leave people behind, people who you once shared a community with and felt like you belonged with which will lead to instability, loneliness and a lot of fear, and changes but the awakenings that you’ll be having due to your emotions will be managed pretty well by you. It’s going to be scary but you’ll be using all of this to build instead. I’m getting that you’ll have this realisation that the best way to combat such situations and feelings is by making sure to be present in your daily life.
You might maintain routines and build healthier habits during this time. You’ll be spending time by yourself and also with others, and will treat others well, and with kindness. You’re either someone who already loves one on one connections and interactions or you’ll do so during that time. You might be in an institution of some sort, you’ll be very frustrated and angry about everything that will have occurred, and will feel like you don’t have the space to channel your passions and goals but will still be doing what you can in the present. You will be grateful for the present moment and will be progressing little by little. This gratitude isn’t going to come about right away after your separation with others, it’s going to take time but you’ll be changing when and where needed. You’ll find yourself being more content because you’ll be actively trying to practice being so. You’ll be growing a lot emotionally by interacting with those older than you, younger than you, same age as you and by spending time by yourself, in your own dwelling. You’ll gain a lot of self awareness and will be focused on yourself. Your focus may stray sometimes but you’ll be coming back to your own element again. You’ll have been left out or been in a position where someone else was preferred over you and will be healing from that. You’ll have left a lot behind and will be in a period of emotional rest. You’ll be soul searching and will be learning the lesson of letting go. You’ll have attained a lot of wisdom and will be continuing to do so. You’ll be dealing with delays but the saying “rejection is divine protection” will be playing true. You could be focused on education or something of that sort at that time.
꒰ Connecting energies between you two ꒱
When it comes to connecting energies, you’ll teach them a lot about true power. You’ll make them realise that some things are in fact in their own head and that they should not let their thoughts overpower them. You’ll connect well on a mental level and will teach them how to mix logic with passion and emotions. I just heard “your rawness isn’t a mistake.” You’ll both connect over falling outs in connections, from communities and simply just not having anywhere you feel like you belong in, simply just not having anyone you belong to but you’ll be dealing with things slightly better than they will be so they’ll be able to look at you and learn a lot from you. They’re going to find it refreshing just how unabashedly you’ll be living and pushing forward. They’ll just to be more like themself thanks to you and vice versa. You’ll want to be your authentic self too because you’ll feel like they appreciate and like you like that. You’re going to be attracted to each other and see each other as equals. You’re going to find their raw and passionate ways to be very admirable and they’ll find your reasoning skills mixed with your passionates ways to be like such. You’ll both learn a lot from each other and find refuge, fun, rawness, passion, understanding, answers, belonging and happiness in each other at a time when it’s not present in your life.
꒰ What will your deepest and most passionate love be like? ꒱
The actual relationship between the both of you will be one that changes your perspective on many things and will help you sort of surrender to life for the best. You’ll teach them how to focus on what they can control. You will find solace in each other. You’ll think a lot about getting in bed with each other, definitely sexually but also beyond that. You’ll feel insanely and primally attracted to each other on a physical level but it’s going to feel transcendent. You’re going to value the intimacy that you have with each other and will be focused on creating a stable, happy and fun relationship that’s emotionally rich and fills you up from deep within. You might even want to have kids with each other going forward at some point but it’s going to be quite a dilemma for both of you because while you’ll want to have kids, you’ll also not want to give up on the lifestyle where it’s just you two, basking in each other without any other distractions. You’re going to be pretty dependent on each other honestly. There will be sort of a codependent dynamic here but you’ll not mind it because you’ll both want each other that bad. You’ll feel terribly homesick for each other when you’re away. I’m sorry if you’re not comfortable with this but stop here if you’re not - you could practice domination and submission in the bedroom. It just came through so I had to say it, I’m sorry. You’re both going to have a strong sex drive and good sexual chemistry. Sex for you is going to be sacred, something that solely the two of you will share. You’d feel terribly betrayed if the other would even do something as simple as think about someone else in that way. Thankfully though, I’m not getting any of that happening. If you come from a conservative background, it could be a secret that you two started having sex before proper commitment that is ink signature on paper (spoken by mouth committed relationships do not count). However, even after being in a serious commitment, you’ll still not be open to sharing your private moments with other people because you’ll not want others knowing or even thinking about it. Spanks could be involved.
There’s going to be degradation and praise, and a lot of love definitely. HOWEVER, let’s steer this to the direction that it was initially supposed to go in. I’m getting that you’ll either be actively involved in the community or just socialise in some way to some extent. You’ll be defenceless and have little to no boundaries when it comes to each other, and neither of you will mind it. You’ll teach each other to have strong boundaries against the world though and also fiercely stand up for each other. There’s going to be this need to own each other and neither of you will mind it because it’ll make you feel desired, and you’ll want to belong to each other. There’s going to be a telepathic connection in which you’ll be able to pick up on the sorrows and honestly really deep, dark feelings of the other person without them even having to say anything at all. You’ll be really honest with each other, if you do someone wrong, you’ll go and talk to them about it, the regrets that you may have and they’ll console you, and vice versa. You’re going to be very vulnerable with each other, all your repressed emotions pouring out. There’s also going to be a sternness and ruthless energy in which you’ll protect each other’s emotions. You’ll not care much about anyone except each other honestly. It’s going to be connection that causes you to lose empathy for other people if it involves your person. They won’t mind hurting other people in order to protect your emotions and vice versa. Also, you’re both going to put each other at your respective places. They’re going to get all moody if they don’t receive enough attention and admiration from you, and vice versa. You’ll see each other like no other. You’re going to clear confusions together and try to understand and know each other beyond just what idealised version of you might be visible to each other. It’s going to be a connection grounded in reality where you’ll always want to do right by each other. You’re both going to be greedy for more and more of each other though. It’s never going to be enough but that’s what will make you inseparable, you’ll truly desire each other, in all ways possible. You won’t want each other to even look or think about other people.
It’s not toxic in my opinion, don’t let anyone tell you that, it’s just devotional and expecting devotion which is normal in monogamous relationships. It’s going to be a slightly fragile connection as in anything the other person will say can prick at your heart if not conveyed properly. Also, the need to control the relationship will be mutual but it’ll only make things more fun. You’re going to be able to share sorrows, worries and fears with each other which is a blessing that you’ll feel really grateful for. You’ll always make time for each other and will teach each other to put yourselves first. The best thing is that you’ll put each other’s best interests in your heart alongside your own so your happiness will be deeply intertwined with one another’s. You’re going to be generous with each other and will talk about things like business ventures. Your connection will be such that even if you crave a luxurious lifestyle, like in a way, nothing is enough, after meeting each other, you’re going to be able to enjoy and appreciate the down to earth lifestyle, and the simple pleasures of life. Money will be important to both of you though, not gonna lie. You’re going to be very in-tune with each other’s bodies, wanting to please each other and I’m getting you receiving massages from them. They might learn massaging techniques just for you, aww or vice versa. You’re going to look good together as a couple and really enjoy it. It’s going to be a real connection where you’re an active part of each other’s lives so even though you were both heartbroken and there were people, and situations that you thought were the best, that you’d never get over, that you’d never feel that way again, that will all go out the window because you’ll realise that nothing is more connection that the connection you share with each other. Your most pure, divine, passionate and loving connections that you had in the past will not matter anymore. “It was not even real” is how you’ll feel about it. So well, if you have a first love or a ‘one that got away’ that you believe is your once in a lifetime love who you’ll never get over, you’re going to love this person so much more and that past love won’t even matter anymore. I just heard “the world, everything within it is an illusion. My oath of living and dying with you is true.” Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.
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and in a blink. . . gone.
There's lots of things I could say about Round 7. This might not be my most coherent post ever but c'est la vie.
One of the most palpable things in Blink Gone's video is the color symbolism. The most prominent colors are green and red, with red being symbolised in the line "dark crimson air embraces us, lifting our spirits" and green pulling duty in the earlier line, "the verdant lights tickle my eyes and I smile." The thing that's so interesting about these two colors is, to me, the green represents life/rebellion/freedom in ALNST, especially with the inside of Mizi's hood being green, Hyuna's leg being green, etc, (green being shown when Till reaches out for Mizi, reaching out for freedom/rebellion.) Comparatively red represents something closer to loss/grief/love, with the skies of the meteor scene in Black Sorrow being red, Ivan's pupils being red, the flowers at the Garden being red (my clematis being the song that started it all), etc. (the flashback of the ivantill kiss is red as well, symbolising the loss/grief Till connects to it).
(Additionally, fun fact! I believe that teal symbolises childhood, or even simply the past, in ALNST because of the lighting style caused in the ANAKT garden images casting a greenish-blue tint on the shadows, as well as the fact that Till's eyes are teal and he is one of the people who has clung to the ephemeral, sweet moments of their childhood the fiercest.)
Purple isn't something with as clear symbolism in ALNST simply because it's not been around *as much* but I would argue that it symbolises the system and the oppression it exerts, as well as control in general. Luka's fingers are purple when he's in control of his emotions. The stage in Blink Gone is a combination of purple and green (largely) and I feel as though that represents the war between rebellion and the system (funny that, at the end, purple consumes the stage, symbolising how today, the system won) as well as the undercurrents of control showing how this entire round was calculated from the beginning.
The instruments in the midpoint of the song (the violin and electric guitar) being holographic in universe and being CGI in the video is actually significant, because of something that @alien-til-i-stage said to me, which was, the instruments represented Till's genius and his humanity. In my opinion, the fact that they weren't real and in fact were just stand ins (with Till's being green and Luka's being purple), while the prerecorded instrumentals played anyways, is a taunt, saying that Till and Luka's humanity is an illusion, and all they are in the end, is slaves to the machine. Something that is proved true by the way that this whole fucking round was rigged from the beginning, condemning Luka to a prolonged life within his gilded cage and Till relegated to a mere token, killed simply as a stepping stone on Luka's path to continued life and torture.
Maybe that's why Blink, Gone feels so empty to me, as a round. It rings hollow. Even the instrumentals feel incomplete, the way that the chorus is dominant and the verses are brief, most of the song being the repeated lines of "in a blink, gone" and "the clock goes tick, tock, tick, tock" because, see, to me the repetition is fitting but the more the same thing is repeated, the less substance it has. Perhaps that's fitting, after all, it's gone in a blink, you can listen to the song and blink in surprise once you realize it's over, stunned at how fast it went.
The song itself is about seizing the moment, carpe diem, that sort of shit, but it's from the retrospect.
Someone on twitter (as seen above) mentioned that the song isn't about love, it's about loss. Which makes the hollowness ring all the more loudly. Of course it feels empty- grief is the feeling you experience when you turn to say something to someone and you realize they're not there. (also note how during this still, it's purple but with a red undertone- reinforcing the system of oppression using grief as a tool).
It's about someone from the future, who has been hurt before, trying to insist to the person in the present that they need to enjoy what they have because loss is inevitable. "And I smile, before this piercing, radiant moment fades away," (from when Mizi realizes it's Till on stage) is directly followed by "and in a blink, gone, forget everything and just enjoy it" which is so manipulative it hurts. It highlights a moment of happiness, and then sucker punches you with how fleeting and ephemeral that moment is, basically saying "happiness is pointless, don't dwell on it, enjoy what you have and don't ask for more" it's an authority figure telling you to stop complaining about what you don't have because, hey, look, you have a roof over your head! Who cares if you're hunger, you're not out on the street, ungrateful wretch! "Don't miss the moment ... leave no regrets" the lyrics are more of a slap in the face than they are a heartfelt plea. This isn't someone telling you not to get lost in your head because you're missing out on the beauty of the present, this is someone telling you to stop dwelling on your grief.
Not only that but the later lines of "Exist for me, it's this moment or no," only deepen that manipulation of a hand being held out but that hand having a steep price. You can exist for this person, enjoy this moment, but that means leaving everything else behind and maybe that's easier, but is it worth it? Because when Till finally reaches out, takes that hand, fixates on the moment and forgets everything else, he’s shot down.
Let me come back to the "the whole fucking round was rigged from the start" comment that I just made and breezed past because there is actual reasoning behind it besides "boohoo my twink died and that can't be canon without interference D:"
Why the fuck would Till start flagging in the second half of the song, if he was on drugs that Urak gave him? It doesn't make sense for Urak not to give Till the right amount of drugs to keep him aware and capable for the whole round, after all, Urak wants Till to win. Right? It certainly doesn't seem that way, considering the fact that the drugs couldn't have come from anywhere other than Urak, and that it didn't really matter who ended up here, at the finale, because they were going to lose to Luka anyways.
It makes me think that Urak was paid off, to make Till lose, because I sincerely doubt he would do it without incentive. Additionally, if he weren't paid and he just wanted Till to lose, there wouldn't be any point to drugging Till at all. Till was merely drugged to keep up the appearance of a fight and to keep the performance going, not to actually give him a chance to fucking try.
Not only that but the FUCKING IMAGES OF IVAN??? There's no way that they intended to even give Till a chance of winning.
God I mean I love that Ivan featured (and that Luka went through the trouble to imitate him, and that it worked, because that means that at least Ivan had some kind of effect on Till) but god, it hurts to know that at this point, he's merely used as a bludgeon to whack over Till's head and put him into the grave.
#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#alnst luka#alnst round 7#alnst ivan#alnst mizi#but that's just cause mizi and ivan are mentioned. anyways um#alnst analysis#rocktalks#rockwrites#sorry if this is a little disjointed i. um. woke up like 7 hours ago and it's only 1pm for me so i am doing my best#alnst spoilers
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The Secret of Us
Driver!Singer!Reader x 2023/2024 grid
Face Claim Gracie Abrams
Warnings hate, not proofread, spelling mistakes (prolly)
Summary In the world where Y/n is a racing driver the current grid isn’t always supportive. So she proves everyone wrong that she can do more than just driving cars around.
A/N a little less with the grid then I would like but I still love it. Also as always there will be spelling mistakes.
Also for people that don’t know ‘y/f/n’ means ‘your friends name’ so you need to make that up too! (For the Gracie fans she is basically the replacement for Audrey)
Please comments and repost!! And dead back is also always appreciated🫶❤️!
Instagram
Like by Redbullraacing and 836.837 others
Yourusername Got P3 today! Happy with the results. Also had a great time exploring China. A little 2 week break before Miami. Looking forward to be in the US again. And thank you for the team @Redbullracing for the good calls.
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Y/f/n So proud 💕
LewisHamilton great job 👏
User1 why does the caption look so pr written? Like where is the emotion?
User2 prolly cause it is
User1 huh? Why?
User2 Y/n accidentally posted some things she wasn’t supposed to (a few times) (things like race strategy’s and some other milder things) so the PR team decided that it would be better to have all het social media managed (she can still chose her pictures and some caption and the posts from the off season)
User1 ahhh thanks
User3 Favourite racing driver
User4 she’s so pretty~
User5 I hope she gets control of her social media back soon that was the most fun times with her funny captions and pictures
User6 P3 Whohoo!
User7 does anyone know why almost none of the drivers like it comment on her posts? They always do it with the other ones. Even max didn’t like and he is het team mate
User8 we don’t know but there are a lot of speculations that either the WAG’s Forbit them or that they just don’t like her very much. Maybe even both
User7 why don’t the wag’s and drivers like her?
User8 the wags are prolly jealous and the drivers are just salty white men that can’t handle a girl being successful in motorsports (besides Lewis and some retired drivers they are great friends)
User7 thank you 🙏
User9 🏎️
User10 I don’t understand how people can dislike her
User11 I love her
User12 I love her and y/f/n’s friendship
User13 deserved💪
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Instagram
Liked by SabrinaCarpenter and 1.293.836 others
Yourusername A little trip with friends before going back to work✈️
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Y/f/n Cutie
Yourusername says you
SabrinaCarpenter beauty liked by author
User1 she’s so pretty
User2 it’s so woerd that no one related to f1 in het likes is not even her team only some fans
User3 so true!
User4 I love her friends
User5 I need a friend group like hers
User6 This is why you do so bad in the races
User7 why???
User6 she isn’t training and is doing other things
User7 well all the other drivers are also having a break and are on vacation and she is one of the top driver on the grid at the moment with a team that are on the top at the moment.
User8 you go girl
User9 wait Sabrina Carpenter in the likes and comments?!?! I didn’t know they where friends
User10 I would love to be friends with her
User12 how is it possible to be this beautiful??
User13 not still the or caption😭😭
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Instagram
Liked by user6 and 186.836 others
F1gossip Y/n y/l/n was seen numerous times going to Long pond studios (the music studio where a lot of artists like Taylor swift record their music). The driver has showed before that she has a talent for music. She showed that with the covers of popular songs that she posted in her YouTube. Is she there to make music herself? Or is she helping her artist friends with something?
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User1 OMG?! Y/n music???
User2 wait that would be so cool…
User3 what is it with f2 drivers and their side quests?
User4 more like f1 drivers and music.
User5 huh? Only Charles did that right?
User4 no! Charles did the piano but Lewis also featured on a few songs as XNDA!
User5 Omg? Cool!
User6 if she does it is going to fail. She is t talented enough for that she can’t even drive
User7 said you. With your fortnight videos
User8 besides the point… but she looks so good…
User9 so true
User10 I’m curious how she is going to promote it. Like is she gonna do it on her main insta en accounts? Cause that one is PR controlled but if she does another one than she doesn’t have a large following
User11 wow. You really thought about that huh? But yeah. I’m curious too
User12 I would love music!
User13 it would also be amazing if she would be on rep tv valt teach with Taylor
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Time skip to break between canada and Spain GP
Instagram
Liked by OliviaRodrigo and 1.372.726 others
Yourusername Oops… I cut my hair… also follow @y/nmusic for a suprise on a few hours…
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OliviaRodrigo Beauty (also I followed)
Yourusername says you (yay!)
SabrinaCarpenter exited!!! Liked by author
User1 OMG?!?!
User2 MUSIC???
User3 WE WHERE RIGHT!!
User4 The hair is honestly so cute!
User5 what is that on the street?????? Perhaps a song title????
User6 it’s gonna be bad
User7 stfu with your fortnight
User8 how can one be so perfect?
User9 HOURS???? HOURS?!?!
User10 I followed!!
User11 Already at 1 mill followers?!?!
User12 Is perhaps the TS merch an Easter egg?
User13 So exited!!!!!
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Instagram
Liked by SabrinaCarpenter and 937.836 others
Y/nmusic 💛THE SECRET OF US💛 Comes out July 9th!!! I loved making this album, it was amazing working with the people I love. We had a great time writing all this! While it was great their where also tears. 💛RISK💛 will also be out June 19th!!! Y/f/n and I wrote Risk together on our couch. Aaron also produced the shit out if this! And the amazing Abby shot the cover art. I. Love. You.
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SabrinaCarpenter 💛💛💛
OliviaRodrigo So happy that the secret is finally out😉
Y/f/n AAAHHHH!! So exited!!
Laufey Thank god!!✨
Aarondessner ❤️❤️❤️❤️can’t frocking wait!!!!🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Noahkahanmusic can’t waaaaaait
User1 OMG?? A WHOLE ALBUM?!?!
User2 This is amazing!!!
User3 RISK?! WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!
User4 Aaren produced this?!?! This is going to be crazy!!
User5 All these artist in the comments all of a sudden
User6 Untalented, it’s gonna flop
User7 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
User8 Still the grid ignoring her
User9 this isn’t race related so I understand it
User8 but with Charles’ album they liked and said that they were happy for him online
User10 THIS IS GONNA SLAP!
User11 she looks so good in this. Probs to Abby!
User12 R U KIDDING ME
User13 AAAAAAHHHHHH
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Instagram
Yourusername and y/nmusic
Liked by SabrinaCarpenter and 827.836 others
Yourusername Some bts shots of me recording this album. This is a little freak before RISK comes out!! Also teach list soon…?
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SabrinaCarpenter You looks so cute while sleep deprived💛
Yourusername awwww thanks cutie
OliviaRodrigo How can one look so cute while working?
Yourusername You know all my secrets baby
Y/f/n I took these🤭
Yourusername yes you did🤭
User1 beauty
User2 does anyone notice that her account isn’t PR controles anymore?!
User3 OMG! Yes! I just notice it that you say it. You instantly see it with the comments amd caption
User4 Long pond studio you say? Where a surten Taylor swift goes??
User5 I love her friendship with other singers
User6 your not cute
User7 she is
User8 I just realised that she wrote and recorded this while also racing and doing all that work
User9 OMG YES! I’m so impressed. I also think she write most of it herself so that also takes quite some time
User10 💛💛💛💛
User11 so exited!!
User12 I love you!!!
User13 still not any drivers
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Instagram
Liked by OliviaRodrigo and 826.836 others
Y/nmusic Risk out now!! The music video will be out tonight at midnight!!!! Also as a suprise Close to you will be out June 28th!!!! Thank you all so much for the support (and the track list WILL be out soon I promise!!)
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Y/f/n I had a great time directing this!!
Y/nmusic And it turned out amazing!!!!
User1 Probs to Y/f/n for making this masterpiece liked by author and y/f/n
User2 MOST AMAZING SONG EVER!!
User3 Still not other drivers
User4 let it go girl they aren’t obligated to like or interact with things that aren’t f1 related and also them it is only max than needs to do that because he is her team mate.
User5 The party part was amazing
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Instagram
Liked by ConanGray and 927.936 others
Y/nmusic Close to you out now!!! Also you can buy some new vinyls!! And now I PROMISE that the next post will be the track list!!
View all 7.636 comments
User6 Bad!
User7 stop being so childish bro you are 18
User8 BOTH AMAZING SONGS!
User9 JUST LET ME BE CLOSE TO YOU!!!
User10 CLOSE TO YOU
User11 CLOSE TO YOUUU
User12 your so gorgeous
User13 💛💛💛💛💛💛
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Instagram
Liked by TaylorSwift and 1.276.286 others
Y/nmusic Finally! It is here! The long awaited track list!! It will all be yours July 9th!!
View all 183.736 comments
Taylorswift Finally! Our little secret is out!!
OliviaRodrigo So proud!!
SabrinaCarpenter Aaaahhhhhh!!
User1 TAYLOR SWIFT?!?!
User2 it’s kind of funny that this is one of the only posts that the drivers like……
User3 I LOVE YOU IM SORRY?!
User4 og y/n fans know I miss you, I’m sorry
Yourusername OMG YOU REALLY ARE AN OG!!
User4 OMG HII!
User5 Charlie?! Blowing smoke?!?! What is this?!?!
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Instagram
Liked by SabrinaCarpenter and 972.826 others
Y/nmusic ‘The secret of us’ OUT NOW!!! Thank yiu somich to everyone that helped to make this possible!! I also took this time to thank my friends with helping me through this. You helped me both mentally and practically. I love you all
Comments are limited
OliviaRodrigo 💛🫶
SabrinaCarpenter love you😘
Y/f/n 😘😍🥰
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Instagram
Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 2.183.936 others
Y/nmusic I had an amazing time playing with you Taylor. It was an honour to play with you on Milan n1!
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Taylorswift always an honour to play with you💛 liked by author
Charles_Leclerc it was amazing seeing you
Landonorris What a great song
User6 not the drivers in the comments😭😭
User7 the drivers are begin for forgiveness now that she is FAMOUS famous
User8 it was rare I WAS THERE!!
User9 it was so funny to see how almost no one knew the text but also so sad cause it is such a good song😭😭
User10 This being at the show where Charles Pierre and a few other drivers where is so funny to me😭
User11 but it could just be accidental
Uset10 it could but they were in the section were all the people are that are invited by Taylor
User12 I LIV ETHEIR FRIENDSHIP!!
User13 best driver fr
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#sterredm fics💕#formula 1#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#x reader#formula 1 fic#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 smau#f1 grid x reader#f1 fic#gracie abrams x f1#gracie abrams#gracie and taylor#the secret of us#sterredm fics#sterredem
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According to this tweet from Endo, today's new chapter will be the final installment of the "Henry x Martha backstory" arc...and it definitely went out on a high note! The part where Martha meets Henry's wife was absolutely heartbreaking...in particular the below page, starting with an upside down view of the scene, showing how the world is literally warping for Martha, followed by shards and shreds of her various memories with Henry, all the while the "throb, throb" of her heart is overlaying all the panels. Definitely one of Endo's best portrayals of a truly shocking moment.
It's also interesting that we never see Lucia's face, despite her having a big panel when she first appears.
Endo has done this before with other characters, Loid's parents being the other big example. We also never see their faces, despite them appearing several times during his flashback arc.
With the few examples we've had, to me it seems like Endo hides the faces of characters who 1) appear as flashbacks only and 2) who have had a significant emotional impact on the character whose memories they appear in, but at the same time, that character has since done their best to get over the painful memories associated with them. So they basically represent some past trauma for the character (even if they don't necessarily dislike them) but in the current time, they've more or less left that part of their past behind. Hence why their faces are obscured in the character's memories. This is also why I think we'll never see Loid's parents or Lucia's faces outside of flashbacks. This is just my interpretation of course, and I'm curious if there will be more examples in other characters' flashback arcs.
But back to Henry and Martha, I also liked the fact that, despite her broken heart, Martha still saw Lucia as a good person and became friends with her. Henry seems to love her as well. This actually ties back very well to what Martha tells Becky at the end of her story about how dangerous it is to latch onto preconceptions and prejudices without knowing the truth.
In Becky's simple world, she would see Lucia as the "evil seductress who stole Henry away" and Martha has to get him back. But as Martha said, things aren't always that simple and don't always adhere to our preconceived notions. Sometimes things can't end up exactly how you want or expect, so you have to be grateful for what you have and see things as they truly are, despite living with lingering regrets. In fact, this whole speech from Martha at the conclusion of her flashback was extremely deep and profound. Not many people can write both comedy and drama so well, but Endo is certainly one of them.
Also, is this Wiesel's first appearance? Still waiting for the doggy play date chapter with Wiesel, Bond, Max, and Aaron! 🐶
Since it's been so long since I read the first chapter of this arc, I couldn't remember if Martha had actually revealed the identity of her lover in her story, but makes sense that she didn't. I can imagine Becky storming into school yelling at Henderson and causing total embarrassment for all 😅 Funny that she almost guessed correctly though.
I'm surprised we never found out how Martha started working for the Blackbells, but that's an easy enough mystery to solve - she needed work after the wars were over, and being a bodyguard suited an ex-soldier. Also seems like she never told Henry her true feelings either...maybe by the time Lucia died, it was too late and they had both grown somewhat apart by then, and/or they had some additional falling outs about Martha joining the other wars, etc. It just wasn't meant to be and the message of the story was Martha coming to terms with that and being wiser for it.
In conclusion, this was a great arc that really shows Endo's range as a writer who can do both comedy and drama very well. Despite Henry and Martha being side characters, I have a feeling that the struggles they experienced will have relevance later in the series. But for now, I look forward to seeing the Forgers and other characters again (and getting back to the last major uproar of Anya telling Damian about her powers...seems like ages ago, lol). Endo will be taking a well deserved break, so the next new chapter will be on August 19th!
I also have some new posts planned in the coming weeks, so stay tuned for those as well 😀
#spy x family#sxf#spy family#spyxfamily#henry henderson#martha marriott#becky blackbell#sxf manga#sxf manga spoilers#sxf spoilers
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today, @thepeoplesjoker finally sees a theatrical release, starting in NYC and spreading like wildfire to theaters across the country and almost certainly beyond. here are some non-spoilery screenshots of my scene!
i’m honored to have been asked to be a small part of this film; i animated a scene right in the middle of the movie in 2021 while i was finishing my senior year of college, as well as matte paintings used as backgrounds throughout - and recently i got to animate the logo, designed by @michaeldeforgecomics!
all movies take a herculean collaborative effort to get made, but the people’s joker has been supported by the good will of so many people just to get seen. @veradrew22 and @brilerose have made THE true trans comic book movie, equal parts funny, thrilling, emotional, and reflective of modernity. it’s been one of the most artistically rewarding experiences of my life, and i’m beyond excited for y’all to finally see it. i’m obviously biased, but this is my favorite movie, and it would be even if i didn’t work on it. she’s finally free and getting her due, and i couldn’t be happier!
if you somehow want more of me waxing poetic about TPJ, check out the review i did on my letterboxd. and to see other people do it instead, peruse one of the fuckmillion articles that have been out in major publications throughout the production; it’s been in indiewire, variety, the hollywood reporter, polygon, @brokenpencilmag, even the goddamn new york times! that’s wild. the whole thing is wild.
do yourself a favor and see this movie; it represents the possibilities of embracing outsider art, and of a world where IP law is less “for narcs, by narcs.”
#artists on tumblr#art#cartoon#the people’s joker#vera drew#tpj#the people’s joker movie#trans#transgender#trans rights#dc#batman#joker#t4t
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#38 Buddie 😊😊😊
I got multiple requests for this one! Hope you enjoy! <3
"I like your laugh."
----
Eddie leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes, filtering out everything but the sound of Buck’s voice in the next room.
“They said you had a weird laugh?” Buck is saying. Eddie is just out of sight in the hallway, the door cracked open so he can hear. “You don’t have a weird laugh, bud. I love your laugh.” A pause, a snort from Chris. “I mean it. It reminds me of your dad’s.”
“Dad almost never laughs,” Christopher says. Eddie’s heart seizes in his chest.
“Nuh-uh. I told an excellent bee pun at work earlier, and he was practically rolling on the floor.” The bed springs creak, and Eddie imagines Buck jostling Chris’s shoulder, ruffling his hair. “Also he loves to make you laugh.”
The first part might be an exaggeration, but the second part is true. Eddie remembers those early days after Shannon left, where every day felt like pushing a boulder up a hill. Being a father never came naturally to him, but when he made a funny face or a silly joke and Christopher threw his head back and giggled, it was like all the turmoil inside him went quiet for a while. It made him feel like less of a fuck-up.
“How do I stop the other guys from making fun of me though?” Chris asks.
Buck blows out a long breath. “You probably can’t,” he says, “and I know that sucks, but unfortunately kids are mean. Teenagers especially.” Eddie bites his lip, listening intently. “It just would suck more if you let a bunch of jerks keep you from being happy, right? If anything, you should laugh more. And louder. Really piss them off.” Buck lowers his voice to a stage whisper. “Don’t tell your dad I said that last part.”
And Chris does laugh, now. Eddie does too, his shoulders shaking silently. He has no idea what he did to deserve Buck, but he’s thankful for it every damn day.
“Now. Homework?” Buck asks.
“Finished,” Chris answers.
“Hmm, I’ll let Dad verify that one.” Eddie’s stomach flips at that, Buck calling him “Dad” like they’re—like they— “Love you, kid,” Buck says, and Eddie barely has time to pull himself together before Buck is there, stepping out into the hall with a satisfied grin on his face.
Eddie puts a finger to his lips and tilts his head toward the kitchen, and Buck rolls his eyes but follows after him. It takes that long for Eddie to breath through the wobbly feeling in his chest anyway, to be able to speak without his voice coming out rough with emotion.
“Thanks, man,” he says. “I don’t know why he wouldn’t talk to me.”
The wounds from the summer are still fresh—Chris’s firmly shut door, the way he wouldn’t even look at Eddie before he left, the weeks of radio silence. Some days, Eddie’s not sure if things will ever go back to normal, if Christopher will ever really trust him again. It seems like they’re healing, but then there are days like today, where it’s one step forward, two steps back.
“I think he’s just at that age where it’s really uncool to open up to your parents about anything,” Buck says with a shrug. “I’m like, the older friend or fun uncle or whatever. Less threatening.”
Buck shoots him a tight smile and starts to move past him toward the fridge, but Eddie gets a hand around his bicep, stopping him. “That’s not what you are, Buck,” he says. His breath catches in his throat, and he has to swallow hard to clear it. “You know that, right?”
Judging by the way he looks down at the floor, he doesn’t know it. And that’s just—that’s not acceptable. Eddie has been trying to tell him for years. After the tsunami. After the shooting. And all these little moments too—family dinners and outings and Buck always, always being the first one either of them calls when something goes wrong. He’s not just their friend—his and Chris's. He’s their rock.
“Eddie,” Buck says, but Eddie hooks a thumb under his chin, makes him look up again.
“That’s not what you are,” he says, then presses his mouth to Buck’s before he can argue.
It’s the most terrifying moment of Eddie’s life for about three seconds, Bucks’s sharp intake of breath and tense shoulders, Buck grip tight on his waist. But then, just as Eddie’s about to jerk away and apologize, Buck sinks into it, softening, arm curling around Eddie’s shoulders to pull him closer.
Eddie makes an embarrassing sound, relief and desire and gratitude all rolled up into one. Buck’s soft mouth and strong arms, his comforting presence in this house and in their lives, his infinite capacity to care for others—it’s more than Eddie thought he’d ever get to have for himself, but he knew he wouldn’t find it anywhere else either. To have it now, pouring into his outstretched hands—he almost stops breathing. He’s so happy, so fucking in love with him.
“Gross,” says a voice from behind Buck, and they jump apart, startled, wheeling around to see Chris grinning at them from the doorway. “Get a room.”
“Uh,” Buck says eloquently.
“Christopher,” Eddie says, not much better. His mouth is tingling and he wants to lift his hand to it, touch it to make sure this is all really happening.
“Can we get pizza tonight?” Chris asks, and it’s a blatant ploy to take advantage of the situation—they had pizza two nights ago, and Eddie tries to care a little more about his nutrition than that—but Eddie looks at Buck, and Buck shrugs, and Eddie shrugs back, and they say, “Sure,” in unison.
“Great,” Chris says, and then disappears again.
Eddie stands stunned for a long moment, but when he looks at Buck again, Buck is laughing, his body quaking silently, his hand half-covering his face. I love your laugh too, Eddie thinks. Buck collapses back against the fridge like he needs it to hold him up, and Eddie moves into his space again, hand settling on his hip, grin creeping across his mouth.
“Still think you’re the fun uncle?” he asks, and Buck looks up at the ceiling and groans, “Oh my God.”
Eddie kisses his jaw, his cheek, cranes his neck to brush his lips over Buck’s birthmark. “I was going to ask you to stay for dinner anyway,” he says, cradling Buck’s face in his palm and sweeping his thumb across his cheekbone. “But now I think you should just stay forever.”
“Oh yeah?” Buck asks with obvious delight.
“Yeah,” Eddie says, and kisses him again. This, here, is where Buck belongs.
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There's this idea in my head that's causing real brain rot. So that one time, when Connor and Hank are on the rooftop, and he almost kills Hank? Can I request something like that, but with an f! reader? Maybe f! reader is on the deviant's side, and Amanda has already taken over, as a result, fight ensues. Major hurt/comfort. You choose how this ends. Thank you in advance 😭
Connor Rk800 x Gender Neutral Reader!
DBH Masterlist Main Masterlist
Word count: 2.5k
Warnings: Hurt/comfort, angst, minor violence
A/n: I always thought Connor should’ve had another chance to become deviant at this rooftop scene so this is the perfect opportunity to write it! I hope you enjoy!
-
The night air is cold as you step out onto the roof, a distant alarm blaring as it fights to be heard against the harsh wind.
You flinch and pull your coat tighter, watching your breath fog out in front of you, snow scattering in every direction. It’s a night you’d rather be spending in the warmth of your home, curled up with a good book and good company. Unfortunately, your good company chose to go bad cop on you and now you’re out here trying to get him back.
You can already feel your fingers growing numb and you regret not bringing gloves up here with you. As if life being a detective wasn’t hard enough.
You squint at the light illuminating from the giant Android billboard and instead focus your gaze on the figure near the edge of the roof. It’s the last place you want to see him right now. On this roof- on the wrong side of history. Making a mistake you know he’ll regret.
It’s all you can do to hope you’ll be able to convince him to come back.
You don’t know what happened. One day he’s kind and funny and even a little flirty and the next he’s cold and calculating. Had he just been pretending the whole time? Did he tell you all those sweet things just to eliminate you as a threat to his mission?
Whatever the reason, even if he was faking it with you you weren’t faking it with him. Over the past few months, you’ve formed a genuine connection with Connor. A connection you thought was more than just partners working on the same case.
You think back to all those late nights Connor stayed up with you as you wrote your reports, cracking jokes so the police precinct felt a little less cold and dim. The time he helped you move your furniture after your previous apartment almost got broken into. The little moments where he’d walk you to your car no matter the time, or go out of his way to pick you up a coffee.
That couldn’t have been fake, right? Nobody went through that much effort just to make sure you were friends. It was because of the way he treated you and cared for you that you found yourself in love with him in the first place.
You sucked in a sharp breath and shook that thought from your head. You’d only just realized it last night. You’d planned to tell him today but something about him was different, he didn’t look at you the same way, though his body still lingered near yours. Then you’d gotten the call this evening about where he was headed and you knew you had to stop him.
The Connor you knew wouldn’t do this. But maybe the Connor you knew wasn’t real…
“You don’t want to do this Connor” He doesn’t even flinch at your voice. He probably heard you from the second you got there and was just waiting for you to say something.
Perhaps that was a sign? Your Connor was always polite with you.
“You shouldn’t be here, Detective.” His voice bites at you with more coldness than the night air and it makes your heart sting. It’s a tone you’ve only ever heard him use with suspects or Gavin. Even when you first met and he seemed devoid of emotion his voice was warm, friendly. What happened?
Was it something you had done? Something you said that gave away your feelings about him? He was built to read body language and pick up on subtle clues after all. Had he known even before you? Was he disgusted by you? That a human like you could fall so easily for an Android?
He shifts the position of his gun, getting a better shot on Marcus and you take another step forward, if you could just reach him then maybe-
“You won’t stop me from accomplishing my mission.” Him and his stupid mission. It’s all he ever used to talk about before he started being open with you. You thought you’d become more important than his mission. Guess not.
“What mission Connor? What? You think you shoot this guy and it’s all over? The whole rebellion falls down? Is that it?” You scoff, shoving your hands into your coat pockets to try and garner some warmth. “You shoot Marcus, someone else will just take his place. Do you really want to spend your life hunting down Androids until you’re the only one left with a soul?”
He doesn't speak but you see the way he squeezes the gun tighter, your words clearly having an internal impact.
“Come home Connor,” You say it out of instinct, your home had become a shared space with Connor, a place he knew you’d always welcome him into. “We can find a good movie and-”
“And what? Huh? Sit there and pretend like we could be anything other than a human and a machine?” His words cut deep, slicing your heart open and revealing all the ugly fears that had been festering in your brain. The urge to throw up fills your stomach but you push the feeling down.
What Connor thought you could or couldn’t be didn’t matter right now. Even if it hurt, you had to make sure you stopped him no matter what.
He places his finger on the trigger and you know you have to resort to the last thing you wanted to do. The last thing you thought you’d ever do to Connor. You pull out your gun and aim it at his back. Emotions well up in your throat as tears threaten to break free
“Get away from the ledge” You wish he couldn’t hear how your voice trembles but you know he does. You don’t know if you have the gall to shoot him and he knows that. Still, he stands up and turns around to face you anyway.
It’s the worst sight in the world- the image of him in front of the barrel of your gun. His eyes are cold and unrecognizable, and you take note of the fact that he doesn’t drop his gun. A strong breeze roars through and you shiver, watching the wind ruffle his hair.
The same hair he used to let you brush your fingers through as you spent hours talking on your couch. His head in your lap, his eyes closed, his LED spinning blue, and a content smile on his face. You remember wanting to take a picture of how cute he looked then, just like a happy puppy.
Oh, how things change.
Your hand shakes as you hold the gun, maybe from the cold, maybe from the anguish, probably from both.
“Go home detective. It’s not my mission to kill you but this is none of your business” You nearly flinch at the word ‘kill’ but manage to hold your resolve. You couldn’t show weakness in front of this version of Connor.
You scoff, “None of my business? You call you killing an innocent man none of my business?”
“It’s not a man. It’s a machine-”
“He has a family! He has people who care about him and depend on him! He has a partner and friends! Like you and I were-”
“We weren’t anything but coworkers Detective. If you thought we were more, you were mistaken.” He cuts you off with the words you feared to hear more than anything. Words he promised you he’d never say when he told you “I’ll always be here for you detective” with that stupid sunny smile of his.
Wiping a tear with your shoulder, you shake your head as you try to get a read on him.
”you don’t mean that”
“I think I do” He tilts his head, in a way you always found cute but now just find menacing.
“I can’t let you kill that man Connor” You tighten your hold on your gun and he narrows his eyes, sizing up whether or not he thinks you’ll shoot before going to put his gun down.
Your body relaxes slightly only to be met with the full force of his gun being thrown at you. You try to block it but it crashes into your arm, causing you to hiss out in pain. In the next second Connor is coming at you, disarming your gun and throwing it across the roof.
You try to throw a punch but he swiftly blocks it, grabbing hold of your shoulder and throwing you to the ground. The impact is harsh and the cold only makes it worse. You can already feel the nasty bruise it’s going to leave but you don’t allow yourself time to dwell on it.
Grabbing a metal grate from nearby you launch it at Connor and use it as a moment of distraction, rushing towards your gun near the ledge of the roof with Connor hot on your heels.
Connor sweeps your legs from under you as you’re inches from the gun, sending you crashing to the ground in a fall that stings your palms. At least it helped that your hands were practically numb from the cold.
Army crawling as hurriedly as you can, you manage to swipe your gun as it teeters precariously off the edge of the roof. In a motion that sends pain through your injured shoulder, you manage to flip onto your back and point your gun at Connor just as he stands directly over you.
For a brief second, you can’t help but think that Connor was taking it easy on you, but then he smirks like an asshole and your flame of hope dies out
“You really gonna shoot me, detective?” The cocky disbelief in his eyes is the most emotion you’ve seen from him all day and in a moment of weakness, you hesitate because you’ve seen that look when Gavin throws his fits about Androids or when the other detectives think they can do his job better than him. Cocky was an emotion Connor didn’t often show but it always made you laugh.
He takes advantage of your moment of hesitation, twisting your gun from your hands and throwing it off the roof. It lands with a solid ‘clack’ in the snow below. You try to sweep his feet but he blocks your legs with his arm, grabbing them and pushing them to the ground. He reaches down and grabs you by the collar of your sweater, angling you so that you're dangling over a fall that would definitely kill and for the first time, you truly feel scared of Connor.
You struggle in his grip to no avail, eventually giving up as you stare into his eyes for what might be the last time. You feel tired and angry and heartbroken and you don’t have the energy to fight him anymore. You let the wind rage around you as you hold out your arms, daring him to drop you.
“Moment of truth Connor…what are you gonna do?” You struggle to catch your breath as his LED violently flashes red. “You gonna kill me for trying to be a good friend?” You wait for anything to happen, for him to throw you off the roof or respond but all he does is stand there staring blankly. His LED goes crazy, flashing from red to blue to yellow and back again, like he’s having some sort of internal struggle.
His grip on you seems to loosen a bit and you inhale sharply “C-Connor” You cry out desperately and he gasps, his grip tightening as he pulls you into his body and clings tightly to you. He takes a few steps back from the roof, forcing your body to move with his as he brings you both back to safety.
His arms wrap around you in a tight embrace and you’re unsure what to feel until you hear his pained voice
“I’m sorry.” It’s more raw than you’ve ever heard it before and soon enough tears are streaming down your face as your arms reciprocate his hold. His hands clench tighter to your jacket at the sound of your sobs. “I’m so sorry i-” His voice breaks off and his chest starts shaking and you look up to see tears streaming down his face.
You’d never seen him cry before, you didn’t even know he was capable of it- and from the looks of it neither did he.
“A-amanda- she took control and I couldn’t-” His eyes refuse to focus on you, staring at the swirling snow behind you, so you release one arm to cup his face and bring his gaze down to yours. “I tried to kill you” He looks absolutely heartbroken at what he’s done and he quickly begins to scan you for injuries. His hands coming up to cup your jaw and tilt your face this way and that.
You manage a smile through your tears as you realize you have your Connor back. Relishing the gentle way he holds your face and the concern that never leaves his eyes as he looks over you.
“No harm no foul” You attempt a joke and Connor’s lips quirk up for the briefest moment before his gaze zeros in on your shoulder and he frowns
“I hurt you” You pursed your lips, unable to deny that fact but not wanting to ruin the moment. Reaching up, you wipe the tears from his cheeks with a gentle hand, watching as he leans into your touch.
“It’ll heal.” You tell him instead, just happy to be bruised and safe rather than dead. “What happened back there?” He looks like he wants to say more about your injury but after reading the look in your eyes he drops it.
“ I broke free. I was stuck in this frozen garden for so long. I couldn’t control my own body or words but then I heard your voice and I had to save you” You lay your head on his chest once more, feeling the steady flow of Thirium pumping through his body, the cold long forgotten from your mind.
He rests his chin upon your head, pulling you into a hug once again.
“You’re more important to me than any mission.” His voice trembles and it takes everything in you not to start crying again “I didn’t mean any of it- those awful things I said, I didn’t mean any of them… I Love you, Detective”
Your gaze snaps to Connors, a wide smile and a light blue blush dusting his cheeks. Those three words- three words ten minutes ago you were sure you’d never heard from him. You had to make sure you hadn’t misheard him
“What?” your heart pounded in your chest
“I said I love you, detective” This was really happening. Connor loved you back. You couldn’t help the tears that fell at the genuine emotion in his voice.
“I love you too, Connor” A delighted laugh escapes you as you pull him in for a kiss, soft cold lips meeting yours. Sure this wasn’t your ideal confession but with Connor, nothing ever went as planned, and that was perfectly fine with you “Now let’s go home, it’s freezing up here”
-
A/n: peep me watching the roof scene over and over to get this right (and also just to admire Connor) ~ Starry
#fanfiction#dbh fanfic#dbh connor imagine#connor dbh x reader#dbh rk800#dbh connor#dbh#connor rk800#detroit rk800#detroit become human fanfiction#detroit become human#connor detroit become human#dbh fic#dbh fanfiction#dbh amanda#gender neutral reader#slight angst#angst#hurt/comfort#happy ending#one shot#dbh roof scene#connor x reader
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Hi! Can you make a Hazbin Hotel Headcanons of how the characters would comfort a reader who is having a panic attack.
Yeah! Ironically, I had a pre-episode panic attack during a class today, writing this helped me avoid a meltdown.
Of course, if you wanted into a different perspective (or other characters, since I don't write many at once), feel free to tell me :)
HH cast comforting !reader having a panic attack
With: Charlie, Alastor, Lucifer, Adam, Angel Dust
Context: Panic attack can happen any time, without any motivation. Unfortunately, that's hits you more often than you would like. In a middle of a conversation with them, you start to feel anxious and afraid, eyes widening and an immense desire to cry appearing. How would them comfort you?
. Charlie
— Oh! And I created a new plan that I would lik.. — Charlie interrupts herself as soon as she sees his eyes roaming the room, your leg shaking while the sound of your heartbeat was heard loud enough.
She knows that happens with some frequency and often is ready when happen. Actually, she's a bit imperative and has its moments of generalized anxiety; although it's not the same thing, it has a basis of what she can or cannot do to help you.
— Honey, look at me, please — She ask to you, holding your hand and looking at your eyes with a serious expression in her face. — It's ok, you'll be fine, you're safe with me. Now, breathe in and out with me.
She starts as an example, taking a deep breath through her nose and releasing the air through her mouth. Despite your mind clouded with fear and derealization, your eyes locked onto hers, unconsciously repeating what exercise she replicates, feeling your breathing regularize slowly, despite the tremor and fear continuing.
She smile at you, holding your hand with a little more strength and delicacy. She moves forward with her free arm at her side, asking for permission for a hug. You, without hesitation, allow it, approaching her and hugging her tightly, feeling her face resting above your head, allowing you to cry into her coat if you felt like you needed to.
— Don't forget to breath, it'll calm yourself. I'm here for you.
. Lucifer
He knows what gonna happen even before you. This man faces various emotional and psychological problems daily, he recognizes very well when someone seems to have a tendency to have a crisis. Especially coming from you.
The first thing he notices is your hand starting to shake and your eyes threatening to water. He's quick to cup your face with both hands, making sure you're looking and listening to him.
— Sweetie, hear me. — He asks in a gently voice, making sure not to get too close to you for fear that this would only trigger a sudden worsening of the attack. — Calm down, I'm with you, there's anything here that can hurt you.
Even with his supportive phrases, your tremor only got worse as your blood pressure only tended to drop, slowly obscuring your vision and slowing down your breathing.
— Here — His voice echoed in your mind, as if partially clearing the intrusive and distressing thoughts. An angelic voice. — Can you tell me five things in this room, please?
You didn't know from where this come, but tried to see something even with a bad vision. And you did it. Then he asked for four things that you could touch. After three that you could hear, after...
When you came to, out of the derealization, you noticed the tactic that he used to calm you down: 5-4-3-2-1, a way to distract the mind of fear to understand what was around you, consequently making you come to your senses when you noticed the space.
He also noticed as your breathing returned to normal and your body gradually shook less and less, smiling at you tenderly.
. Adam
He's a bitch. A fucking bitch.
At first, when he sees your eyes watering in the middle of the conversation he will think that some comment or joke of his got to you, and sincerely? He'd probably find it funny that you're bothered by this at this point.
— What's up, bitch? That wasn't even that aggressive — He responded in a mocking voice, leaning across the table toward you. His tone of voice was filled with a visible desire to laugh.
However, when he noticed that you ignored his comment and were shaking unnaturally, the expression on his mask changed to one that alternated between doubt and amazement.
The mask's mouth constantly opened and closed, as if he were interrupting whenever he thought about commenting on something.
— Fuck — He sighed heavily as he let out an audible curse, getting up from his seat and heading towards him, but stopped next to you when he noticed that he was a piece of shit with emotional comfort, especially with words of affirmation.
With an expression of uncertain, he took off his terminator mask and threw it on the table, looking at the office door, confirming that there was no one there that could burst into the room.
He then crouched down next to you, watching you cover your face with hands shaking, stifling a sob. Not really sure what do, he brought his hand to your back, patting it friendly as a strange way of showing support, since 1. he didn't know how to verbalize it and 2. he couldn't do it. But deep down he would like to try and provide some kind of support.
— I have no fucking idea how to help you, but... You know, if you need a shoulder, you've got me.
. Angel Dust
He knows what it's like to have an emotional breakdown and derealization, after all, it is something that constantly impacts him almost always after the work.
Despite the solution he always seeks for himself be the use of medication and perhaps a little alcohol, he would never make that an option for you since he doesn't want to inflict drug use on you. Health reason.
— Baby, is a hug okay? — he asks you in a compassionate tone, bowing his head slightly to the side as he raised his left hand to rest it on your shoulder.
When you nod, he wraps you in a hug with all four of his arms. A comfortable but not strong hug, allowing you to leave if you wish.
— You need to stabilize your heart rate, you know? Do what I do — He then took a deep breath for a few seconds and then let it out, repeating the process two more times before encouraging you to try.
You snuggled into your spot on the couch trying to control the shaking and tears as you repeated breathing exercise with difficulty. At first it was painful and burned your lungs, but Angel advised you to try again as soon as you felt like you could try.
— I don't have work today, how about a movie? I promise it won't be any of my big movies, your choice. — He laughed quietly, trying to lighten the sad mood with a light dirty joke as he picked up the controller. When he could hear a low chuckle from you, his smile grew.
. Alastor
He literally has no idea what happened to you. Alastor died before psychology studies were taken seriously, and particularly he was never someone very social or interpersonal, then see you having a mental imbalance suddenly was ridiculously weird.
He just stood there looking at you with that stupid smile on his face, trying to find some logic behind your attitude so that he could do something about it.
After a given moment thinking, in a snap of his fingers he manifested a tea set in the center table in the room. However, the withering smell of coffee took its place when he took one of the cups for himself and offered another one for you - one that smelled like valerian, a plant that helped with irregular heartbeat.
He looked at you as he sipped his own cup of black coffee with legs crossed, as if waiting for you to go ahead and drink the tea.
You then gave in and drank, pouring a few drops into your lap due to tremor. The tea actually wasn't that bad. As soon as he passed by your throat, the effect seemed to have already begun, gradually relaxing your muscles and calming your fear.
Along with the feeling of relaxation, an aroma of oils penetrated the room, making a combination in the air of more diverse aromas and smells in a pleasant mix.
By your side, Alastor beamed a satisfied smile as he helped himself to more coffee, talking to you again, occasionally asking if you wanted more tea or if you felt okay.
I love sm write comfort, but thinking about the angst before is painfully sad//
Thank you for read, have a good day or a good night :)
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#lucifer x reader#adam x reader#charlie x reader#angel dust x reader#alastor x reader
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Her Heartbeat, Chapter 10: Her Promise
Summary: Wednesday promised you, she will be there.
Warnings: Light Angst! Is anyone scared of snow?
Was stuck at the snow falling scene but big thanks to @cobaltperun and @the-thing-withfeathers for helping me out.
Chapter 1
Previous Chapter
Worklist
You left Nevermore as the world outside seemed to blur into a haze of your own emotions. Each step further from the school felt like another weight crushing down on you, the memories of your confrontation with Wednesday playing over and over in your mind. Her words, sharp and cutting, pierced deeper than you had expected, even though you deserved them.
How could you have expected anything less? You had been selfish. Selfish to pull Wednesday into your life. Selfish to let her get close to you when you knew—you knew—that this was never going to end well.
You needed her help with Little Cupcake, and that made sense, right? But then… then something changed. You got closer to her. She made you feel like maybe, just maybe, your heart wasn’t failing. When you were around her, it felt as if the weight of your disease had lifted just a little, as if her presence somehow made you forget that you were running out of time. But what did that mean now?
You blinked, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. No. You had already cried enough, hadn’t you? In front of her, no less. You could still picture her face—the way she stared at you after you confessed the truth about your condition. It wasn’t supposed to go that way. You weren’t supposed to break down like that. You were supposed to be stronger. But the guilt, the frustration, the anger at your own body—at fate itself—it had all come pouring out, and Wednesday… she had seen it all. And now she would hate you forever.
You sucked in a sharp breath as the tears came back. Damn it. No matter how hard you tried to stop them, they kept falling, wetting your cheeks as the guilt settled in your chest like a stone.
The doctor had already told you—you were on the waiting list. The waiting list for a heart, one that you might never get. And even if you did, would you just accept it? Why did the thought of being on that list fill you with so much guilt? You knew why. You saw it every day at the hospital last year—kids like you, kids younger than you, all suffering from the same thing. Heart disease, heart failure. There were so many of them. And what if you got the heart and someone else didn’t? Someone younger? Someone who deserved it more? Your chest tightened as the guilt washed over you again, wave after wave, relentless.
You didn’t even notice when the taxi pulled up in front of you until the driver honked the horn, breaking you out of your thoughts. You opened the door and slid into the back seat.
As the car pulled away, you leaned your head against the window, watching the landscape blur as the vehicle picked up speed. The farther you got from Nevermore, the more you felt like a coward. Running away instead of facing Wednesday, instead of trying to explain yourself. But what was there to explain? You had yelled at her. You had made her hate you. You deserved her hatred, didn’t you? Your thoughts spiraled, the weight of them pressing down on you until it was hard to breathe.
It wasn’t fair to live like this, constantly stuck between life and death, knowing your time was limited. But you also knew that you couldn’t wallow in self-pity forever. People had it worse than you. You shouldn’t complain. You shouldn’t— The tears fell again. Silently this time. You didn’t even bother wiping them away. When the taxi finally pulled up in front of your home, you felt like you had been hollowed out. Like there was nothing left inside you but this overwhelming sense of guilt and sadness. You stepped out of the car, pulling out some crumpled bills to pay the driver before turning toward the house. Home. Funny word.. because today, even home felt distant, like it wasn’t enough to shield you from what you were feeling.
You walked up to the front door and pressed the bell. You didn't even notice when your father opened the door. “Hey… what’s going on?” His voice was soft, concerned, as he took in your tear-streaked face. “Are you okay?”
You tried to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, a fresh wave of emotion hit you, and before you knew it, you were crying again, your body shaking with sobs you couldn’t control. “I-I missed you,” you managed to choke out between sobs, and it wasn’t even the full truth, but it was all you could say in that moment.
Without hesitation, your dad wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. He held you tightly, his chin resting on top of your head as you cried into his chest.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more. I’m sorry I couldn’t take this pain away from you.” Your heart clenched at his words, and you pulled back slightly, looking up at him through tear-filled eyes.
“No… you’ve done more than enough,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “You’ve done so much more than you were ever supposed to. It’s me… I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m sorry I’m going to leave you like Mom did…”
His eyes widened, and he shook his head vehemently, his grip on your shoulders tightening. “No. No, don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that.” His voice was fierce now, filled with a desperation that you had heard since you found out you were dying. “I’m not going to let that happen. I’ll do anything—sell everything if I have to, just to keep you alive. You’re not leaving me. You’re not leaving.”
And as always, you didn’t know what to say to that. The truth was, you had already come to terms with the fact that you might not survive this. But hearing your dad say those words again, hearing the desperation in his voice—it broke something inside you. You hadn’t realized just how much he had been holding on to hope, how much he had been fighting for you even when you had stopped fighting for yourself.
“I don’t want to leave,” you whispered, tears streaming down your face again. “I don’t… but I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if I’m going to make it, and I hate that. I hate that I’m leaving you behind. I hate that I’m putting you through this.”
He hugged you tighter, his hands shaking slightly as he stroked your back. “Don’t think about that right now,” he said softly. “Just… just let me take care of you. Please.”
You nodded, unable to form any more words. You were exhausted, physically and emotionally drained from everything that had happened. All you wanted now was to sleep, to escape from the weight of your own thoughts for a little while. Your dad led you to your room. He pulled back the covers on your bed and gently helped you lie down, tucking the blanket around you as if you were a child again. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I love you too Dad,” you replied, your voice barely audible as sleep began to pull you under. As you closed your eyes, you felt his hand rest gently on your forehead, and for a brief moment, the weight of everything seemed to lift just a little. The guilt, the fear, the uncertainty—it all faded into the background as exhaustion took over. But even in the quiet, as sleep claimed you, one thought lingered in the back of your mind.
Wednesday.
You stirred as a cool breeze brushed against your cheek. It was unexpected, soft and chilly, tugging you gently from your sleep. With a faint groan, you opened your eyes, blinking at the sight of your curtains fluttering.
The window was open? Confused, you sat up in bed, feeling the cool air settle around you. That’s when something caught your attention. A faint shimmer in the air. Snow?
Your heart raced as you quickly got out of bed and walked to the window. When you looked outside, your breath hitched.
Snow. It was snowing!
But… how? It was the middle of summer. There hadn’t been any mention of a freak snowstorm. You racked your brain, trying to remember the last time you’d seen snow—real snow. Not the cold, wet sludge that melted before noon, but the kind of snow you could get lost in, the kind that made the world feel magical.
A small smile tugged at your lips, despite the confusion gnawing at you. It didn’t matter. For the first time in what felt like forever, it didn’t matter. You wanted to feel it, wanted to be out there in the cold, letting the snow bury the weight of everything you’d been carrying.
Barefoot you pushed open the window wider, feeling a rush of cold air hit your face. You climbed over the sill, hopping down into the snow with a light thud. As soon as your feet sank into the soft, powdery snow, you let out a breathy laugh. It was freezing, but you didn’t care. The shock of it felt refreshing, waking you up in a way nothing else had in months.
You spread your arms, tilting your face up to the sky as the snowflakes landed on your skin. They melted instantly, but the cool sensation made you giggle. A real giggle, like the kind you hadn’t allowed yourself to feel in so long.
For a moment, everything else faded—the guilt, the pain, the endless uncertainty. It all slipped away, leaving just this. Just you, the snow, and the soft, gentle laughter that bubbled out of you as you twirled in the open field. It was like being a child again, innocent and carefree.
This… this had been one of your wishes. "Play in the snow with a friend." The thought tugged at something deep in your chest, and you sighed, a bittersweet ache returning, reminding you that you hadn’t completed this wish yet. You were alone.
But then, as you twirled slowly in place, something in your peripheral vision caught your attention. A dark shape—small but distinct—on the rooftop of your house. You stopped, breath catching in your throat as you lifted your gaze upward.
There, perched like a raven on the edge of the roof, was Wednesday.
And next to her… there it was. The source of all this—the massive snow machine humming beside her. A detached hand, you remember her mentioning it "Thing", sat atop the machine, operating it with precise movements, adjusting the settings to keep the snowfall steady.
For a second, you couldn’t move. Your heart pounded as a flood of emotions washed over you—confusion, disbelief, and something else… something warmer, deeper. It wasn’t just the surprise of seeing her there, of realizing that Wednesday had created this moment for you. It was the fact that she was here at all, after everything. After you had yelled at her. After you had told her the truth. The truth. A lump formed in your throat. She had read your diary. She knew about your condition. About the wishes you didn’t think you’d ever have the chance to fulfill. And yet, here she was, standing atop your roof like some dark angel, creating snow in the middle of summer just so you could have this moment.
Wednesday, still as a statue, looked down at you, her dark eyes unreadable from this distance. Then, without a word, she gracefully hopped down from the roof, her boots crunching in the snow as she landed.
Your breath hitched, watching her approach with slow, deliberate steps. The snow machine still hummed softly in the background, filling the small field in front of your house with a steady cascade of white. It almost felt surreal—the absurdity of this moment.
Wednesday’s expression was hard, her lips pressed together in that familiar stern line, but there was something else too. Something softer, hidden beneath the surface. You couldn’t quite place it, but it made your chest ache.
She stopped in front of you, her dark eyes boring into yours, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. Finally, she broke the silence. “I didn’t make the snow for you to stand there and stare at me like an idiot.”
You blinked, a startled laugh escaping your lips despite yourself. Every A part of you had missed this—missed her.
“Sorry,” you said softly, shaking your head as you wiped at your eyes. “I just… I didn’t expect this.”
Wednesday’s expression didn’t change, but her gaze flickered, just for a moment, as she looked away toward the field of snow she’d created. She crossed her arms, her fingers twitching slightly as if she was trying to keep them still.
“You kept everything hidden. Your condition, your wishlist, and for what? To spare me the burden? To pretend like it didn’t matter?” Her voice was calm, but there was an edge to it, a simmering frustration that you rarely heard from her. “You were willing to face all of this alone. That was your mistake.”
You swallowed hard, the weight of her words settling in your chest. “Wednesday, I didn’t want you to—”
“Feel responsible?” she interrupted, her tone laced with sarcasm. “Get involved? Get hurt?”
You bit your lip, unsure how to respond. She was right. You had tried to keep her at arm’s length, not because you didn’t care, but because you cared too much. You didn’t want her to get caught up in your mess, in your inevitable end. But now, seeing her here, standing in the snow she had created for you, you realized just how much you had underestimated her.
“I never meant—” you started, but Wednesday cut you off, her voice sharper now.
“I don’t care what you meant,” she said, her gaze locking onto yours. “I care that you thought you could handle this alone. That you thought pushing me away was better than telling me the truth.”
You blinked at her, her words sinking in. There was anger there, frustration, but also… hurt. She wasn’t angry because of your list. She was angry because you hadn’t told her.
“I didn’t want to burden you with this,” you said quietly, your voice trembling slightly. “I didn’t want you to feel… trapped. Like you had to stay close because—because of what’s going to happen.”
Wednesday’s jaw tightened, her lips pressing into a thin line. “You think I’m here out of obligation?”
“No,” you admitted, shaking your head, though the uncertainty still gnawed at you. “But it feels selfish, doesn’t it? To keep you here, knowing how it ends.”
Wednesday took a step closer, her eyes narrowing. “Selfish?”
You nodded, a heavy sigh escaping your lips. “I mean… I’m dying, Wednesday. I don’t want to drag you down with me. You have your own life. Your own goals. You shouldn’t be stuck helping me fulfill some silly wishes just because I’m running out of time.”
For a moment, Wednesday was silent, her dark eyes studying you intently. Then, to your surprise, she reached out, her cold fingers brushing against yours. The touch sent a shiver through you, though it wasn’t from the cold.
“You’re right,” she said quietly. “It is selfish.”
"See? That's why I..." she interrupted you,
“But it’s selfish because you decided it for me. You decided how this ends without ever giving me a say.” She squeezed your hand gently “You told me the truth this time. And now it’s my decision to make.”
You stared at her, speechless. The intensity in her gaze was overwhelming, like she was daring you to challenge her. There was no pity in her eyes, no sadness. Just.. this.
“I want to help you,” Wednesday said, her voice unwavering. “I want to fulfill these wishes with you. Not because I feel obligated or trapped, but because…” She hesitated for a fraction of a second, her expression softening ever so slightly. “Because I want to keep this. Whatever this is”
Your heart swelled at those words. “This.” The same word you had used. It didn’t need a name. It was just as perfect as "this"
"I am going to be here, with you, whatever the future holds, that is my promise.” She said as she looked into your eyes, hoping you would look back into hers.
You shook your head, your gaze still on the snow at your feet. "Don't make a girl a promise if you know you can't keep it, Wednesday," you whispered, your voice filled with a mix of hope and fear. A tear slipped down your cheek, though this time it wasn’t from sadness. It was from the overwhelming gratitude, the relief of not having to carry this weight alone anymore.
She didn’t flinch at your words. Instead, her grip of your hand steady and tighter, she said, "You know me, when I make a promise, I keep it."
You finally looked into her eyes, and felt it, the truth in her words and "this".
“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I know don’t deserve this but...”
“Stop saying that.”
You blinked, confused by the sudden fierceness in her tone.
“You keep saying you don’t deserve this, that you’re selfish, ” Her voice was sharp, each word cutting through the air like a blade. “But you’re wrong. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.”
“But it’s going to end, Wednesday,” you said softly, your voice trembling. “We both know where this is headed. It’s not fair for you to—”
“I don’t care,” she interrupted, her voice sharp and decisive. “You think I haven’t thought about that? That I haven’t considered what it will be like when…” She trailed off, her jaw clenching as she swallowed hard, the words too painful for her to say.
“You think it would be easier for me to pretend I don’t care? To let you go now, while you still have time?” She shook her head, her dark eyes burning into yours. “That’s not easier. That’s worse.”
Her words sent a shiver down your spine, and you felt your throat tighten. You had never imagined Wednesday would be so open, so vulnerable. It made your heart ache even more.
“I just don’t want to hurt you like that.” you whispered, tears threatening to spill over again.
Wednesday’s gaze softened, just a fraction, and she took a step closer, her voice lowering. “I know you would never,” she said softly. “You've told me the truth. And because of that, I get to decide how I feel about it. You don’t have to protect me. Let me take that weight of your shoulders. Let me protect us both." Her words made your heart flutter, and you felt a tear slip down your cheek. She reached out, gently brushing it away with the back of her gloved hand, her touch surprisingly tender.
“You don’t have to do this alone,” she said quietly. “I’m here. Whether you like it or not.”
She paused for a moment, her eyes searching yours, and when she spoke again, her voice was almost a whisper. “I know you want this too."
Her words made your heart lurch, and you felt a tear slip down your cheek. She reached out, gently brushing it away with the back of her gloved hand, her touch surprisingly tender.
For a moment, you couldn’t speak. The weight of her words, the depth of her emotion, was too much to process. You had never expected this from her. Never expected her to fight for you like this.
“I…” Your voice trembled, the words caught in your throat. “I’m not... good at this.”
Wednesday’s expression shifted, a flicker of amusement crossing her face, though it was subtle, as always. “A very annoying girl who barged into my life and decided to change my heartbeat forever once said, ‘You don’t have to be.’ ”
And Wednesday saw it, that damn smile. The smile she had painfully missed, waited to see. The purest smile in the whole universe. Not that Wednesday would ever say that out loud, of course.
“So…” you said, your voice softer now, but lighter. “What do we do now?”
Wednesday tilted her head slightly, her expression thoughtful. “You wanted to play in the snow with a friend, did you not?”
“Yeah. I guess I did.”
She glanced around the snow-covered field, then back at you. “Then let’s start there.”
You blinked, surprised by her willingness to participate in something so… un-Wednesday-like. But then again, she was full of surprises today.
You crouched down, gathering a handful of snow in your hands. “Wanna have a snowball fight?”
Wednesday raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “A snowball fight?”
You grinned, the playful challenge in your voice impossible to resist. “You can imagine the snowballs are knives if it makes you feel better.”
Her lips twitched, a smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. “If that’s the case, then I’m going to win.”
[Next Chapter]
[Author's note: I wrote it while waiting in the airport lol]
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back on my halfa!Damian bullshit.
today’s 2am thought: what if Damian unknowingly ecto-marks people and places he considers “his”?
like if a ghost ran into Bruce, they’d know that he already has a ghost kid because a child ghost has left their ectoplasmic signature on him that more or less says “this is MY parent.”
Which in ghost culture isn’t necessarily a sign of someone being off-limits because of how lax they are with family structures, and might actually make him more attractive to ghosts and heavily liminal people who want a partner. Mostly because it’s like Bruce walking around with a neon sign saying “I’M GOOD WITH KIDS!” even if we know this man has the emotional communication and processing skill of a slab of basalt when it comes to personal relationships.
Tangent about Damian potentially unintentionally plastering a “date me” sign on his dad aside, the idea of ghosts coming to Gotham and being confused about how this one child ghost has little spots of “this is mine” ecto really scattered around, and all over this one rich family, a few other humans, and several animals for some reason, is funny to me.
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