#LOOK AT HIS BABEY BOY FACE

[nobrain-onlysteven]

he is babey boy, your honor

[f1-birb]

Infour IT'S RACE DAY AND WE'RE STARTING P2 LFGGGGG 🚀

[abigailspinach]

Facts

Best babies

who is cal kestis, what is he from, and why does he look like such a babey

look at poncho boy’s baby face!!!! 

the boy loves his baby droid too!!!

Cal Kestis is the protagonist of Fallen Order, a video game that came out last year, and if you can’t play it but you like the post-Order 66 area before the OT, I would recommend watching let’s play of the game on youtube, it’s a pretty game, the story is interesting and I really enjoyed the sw lore/myths we got from it.  

(there are some spoilers in the following paragraph about the story of the game, but nothing crucial:) The game is set 5 years after the fall of the Republic, when Inquisitors are looking for Jedi or padawans who survived the purge. Cal used to be the padawan of Jaro Tapal, and is now hiding his force-sensibility and his lightsaber (and I won’t talk about some flashbacks scenes of baby Cal (like ACTUAL baby, he’s so small I can’t handle it) playing with clone troopers right before Order 66 because it’s the worst). He’s salvaging parts of ships from the Clone Wars to live at the beginning of the game, but of course things happen and Cal ends up revealing himself in front of Inquisitors. After he escaped, he finds himself working with a former Jedi Knight and her pilot on a quest to find a holocron with the names of Force-sensitive children in the galaxy that will brings him to different planets and meet a lot of people, with some well-known faces sometimes. 

Cal is basically a baby boy who’s just trying his best, thinks ponchos are high fashion, who’s getting cyber bullied by an inquisitor with a mission to put her lightsaber through his face and befriending nightsister who attacked him by raising corpses of her dead sisters because she seems nice and they’re both pretty lonely anyway, so what’s not to like? 

[sweet-as-an-angel]

MW2 waking up next to their S/O

Warnings: 18+, Just so much fluff, implied smut, suggestive content, mention of somnophilia, sub and dom König, implied oral sex, petnames, no pronouns used for Reader except for ‘You’, etc.

Ghost

He's lowkey excited to wake up before you when he knows he has to be up early.

He'll set his alarm - on vibrate so that it doesn't wake you, only him - 30 minutes earlier than he needs to be up just so he can look at you.

And boy, does he look at you.

He looks upon you as an artist would their masterpiece, marveling at your beauty, your skin, your face, your expression.

You look so peaceful, so unlike anything Simon had had the pleasure of seeing before; your form radiated a tranquility he could only hope to achieve one day.

But with you at his side, he gets closer to nirvana every day, finding the beauty in everything you show him.

He'd have to physically pull himself out of bed when he could not prolong his departure any longer.

If you were still asleep by the time he left, he'd plant a soft kiss on your forehead, leaving you undisturbed.

However, if you were awake, he'd press deep, warm kisses to your lips, trailing down to your jaw, your neck, your collarbones - you'd have to stop him, telling him to go before you made him stay.

"Make me stay, hmm?" he'd say, sighing another kiss against your throat.

"And what makes you think I won't take you up on that offer?"

What happens next is entirely up to you and how much Simon wants to get to the gym before it's packed full 😉.

König

Ngl, König looks straight-up terrifying when you catch him looking at you.

He'll just be lay next to you, staring at you like 👁 👄👁.

The only way to get him to stop is either by asking him, or, the more preferable option, distracting him.

How you distract him is up to you, but you both have your...preferences.

When König has to be somewhere but is feeling a certain kind of way, he'll literally paw at you like a cat, his eyes round and pleading.

Or, if he's more dominant, he'll just pounce on you, pinning him beneath him and making sure you're not going anywhere, unable to walk for the rest of the day.

Granted, he's not a fan of quickies, so he'll either chase his release by taking you in your sleep, or risk being late to whatever it is he's engaged with.

Whenever he looks over at you in the morning, he can't help but reflect on how lucky he is, how fortunate he must be to have you at his side each day to show him what love - true love - feels like.

He can get a bit emotional when he looks at you during mornings like these, but it's only because he loves you so much.

He wonders what you'll do all day when he's out the house, if you'll think of him as he thinks of you now.

If he's feeling a little insecure about that, you may have to qwell his worries and remind him just how much you love and miss him when he's away.

Rodolfo

Babey 🥺!1!!

Like König, he'll just full-on stare at you like👁👄👁.

He just can't believe how beautiful you are, especially when the light catches you and makes you look like you're glowing.

He genuinely believes you must be an angel or something of the like.

He'll bring you presents and hide them under your pillow while you sleep so you have something to look forward to when you wake up.

He'll do this especially when he knows he'll be gone by the time you wake.

These gifts are usually deeply personal and thoughtful, like a locket bracelet with a picture of you on one side and a picture of him in the other.

Other times it'll be a post-it note, giving you the first of a list of instructions to follow like a treasure map in order to find your prize - usually something too big that he couldn't fit it beneath your pillow - somewhere in the apartment.

Whenever you wake up and find him looking at you, you'll have to kiss him on the nose or the forehead to snap him out of his trance.

After which point, he'll take you up in his arms and just hold you, often times making you squeal when he buries his face into your neck, leaving warm, wet kisses there.

Offer this man and kind of release first thing in the morning and he'll literally be set for the day.

He considers that your gift to him, your ability to instantly and consistently lift his mood for the day just by being there (amongst other things).

Literally nothing can bring him down after that, and everyone else in the force can tell when you've been at it because of the absolute swagger in his walk and the smile plastered to his face.

Alejandro

God, he makes me feral

Passionate man, let me just remind y'all of that.

He's the type to absolutely smother you with kisses the second he wakes up.

Any area of skin that's not covered will fall victim to his unrelenting desire to drown you in his love.

Sometimes you'll wake up with love bites all over you like bee stings and you'll just see Alejandro looking at you like 😊.

And you just can't stay mad at him.

You can, however, get your own back.

It usually takes you both an hour to get out of bed in the morning, and this is exactly the reason why.

Like Rodolfo, it's rare for Alejandro to come to work without his signature smile on his face and authority in his walk.

Little does anyone know that beneath the collar of his shirt lies a collage of bite marks and bruises, courtesy of the love of his life.

Won't leave the bed until you're satisfied, making sure you're stuffed full of his cum so that you have something to remember him by.

You don't know this, but before bed he'll practically drink a bottle of breath spray so that his breath smells good for you in the morning.

When you eventually caught on, you had to tell him to stop because you didn't want him staining his teeth.

"Would you no longer love me if I didn't have teeth?" he said, to which you vehemently denied his claim and had to reassure him that you would love him even if he were a three-foot tall slug with no teeth and a monocle.

That, amongst other means of reassurance 🥴.

Price

You'd feel his beard, either between your thighs or on your face, before you saw him.

He makes sure you're satisfied every morning before your day even starts, his own form of reward for you making his life brighter.

He'll pull you flush against his chest first thing after he wakes up, if you're not already in that position.

He always says "Good morning, Sunshine," first, then presses a love-filled kiss to your head.

If you've had a particularly intense night, he'll bring you breakfast (or dinner, depending on the time of day) in bed.

Will ask you to just lay beside him so he can look into your eyes before you both have to get up.

And it's usually you who has to remind him that the day isn't getting any longer and you both have to get up soon.

He won't complain, but you can tell when he wants nothing more than to just curl up with you and stay there, dead to the world.

Speaking of, this man's morning hugs are so warm.

Good luck getting out of bed in winter, because you're both way too comfy to leave your lovely warm bed just to go to work or make breakfast.

Sometimes you'll find Price already staring at you when you wake up, and you just look at each other like two ferrets in love, unmoving and wholesome.

Gaz

The most likely to be a tease out of everyone here.

While he won't wake you from a deep slumber, he'll sure as hell try and annoy you in the minutes after you wake up, knowing your cognition and sight are both impaired at this particular time.

One time, near Halloween, he put on a Grim Reaper mask and waited on your side of the bed until you woke up.

He made no noise, he didn't jump on you; he simply waited.

And when you saw his skeletal outline, you initially thought it was Ghost. That alone made you near enough shit yourself and scream as if you were being murdered.

Aside from that, though, he can be very tender. When his judgement is clouded with sleep and the world doesn't yet feel real, that's when he's at his most vulnerable, and his most sincere.

He loves to pull you into his bare chest and just rest there, feeling your breath against his skin; a reminder that you're still here, still alive.

Despite being so young, it's during times like these that Gaz knows where he wants to be for the rest of his life, what he wants to do with it.

And it all comes down to you.

During his morning reflections on your relationship, he'll think of your future together, just you, him and your conjoined families bound through your marriage, living.

You keep him sane, help him realise there is so much more to life than his military duties, and beer, and watching TV.

He never truly felt as if he was living - alive - until he met you.

And now as he lays here, watching your chest rise and fall, he can't help but shed a tear for the alternate version of himself who’d never met you, never found you, instead living as a drone with no greater understanding of happiness as he did now.

Valeria

You are waking up to absolutely abominable head from this woman every morning whether you like it or not.

If she feels you starting to shift and wake up, she'll use her strength to push you back down and continue.

She will not let you go a single day dissatisfied even if it kills her.

On the other hand, she can be very wholesome.

She'll watch you sleep, either in the dead of night or in the wavering light of the morning simply because she thinks you're so unbelievably breathtaking.

She'll brush stray strands of your hair from your face while you sleep, feeling her heart stutter when you twitch and make a little noise.

She often calls you "Bunny," or "Kitty," because of your mannerisms when you sleep.

Quick note: if you wake her up with head in the morning, you are done for.

You're stuck in bed for the rest of the day.

I don't make the rules, Valeria does.

During these mornings she'll relate to you about how much she wants "To break you," calling you her "little doll,"

Don't get her wrong; she's not punishing you!

Far from it.

But she just wants you to know that she has the power in this relationship, and she sees your pleasure as something only she is allowed to give and take.

So, in a nutshell, don't go doing any favours for Valeria without her asking, because she will assume you're doing it to get something out of her.

And she doesn't like owing people.

On the contrary, she enjoys the power she has over others by making them indebted to her.

And this includes you (lovingly).

Soap

NEWSFLASH: MAN W/ BIG TIDDIES GIVES BEST CUDDLES

Seriously though, Soap's cuddles are one of the main reasons you can't (don't want to) get out of bed in the mornings.

He'll wake up, see you soundly sleeping next to him, and just pull you on top of him.

He's not letting you go for at least two hours.

He just adores the way you feel against him, your chests pressed together as he plants feather-light kisses to your face, waking you.

His morning voice is just uuuUUUUUUUGH.

And he will use it against you.

"Mornin' love," he'd say, burying his face in your hair. "D'you sleep well? Or d'you need me to put you to sleep again..."

His morning kisses are always sloppy, laced with exhaustion yet laden with joy.

He enjoys the sleepy whines you make when he rubs his stubble across your sensitive areas; your neck, your stomach, between your thighs, etc.

He absolutely cages you beneath him whenever he rolls over onto you.

Sometimes he's aware of it, sometimes he isn't.

But when he is, he'll just lay there, making sure you have no way of escape, while you mewl against him that you "Have stuff to do today!" Meanwhile, he's plotting and planning ways to keep you bed-bound for the next 24 hours.

Graves

Will 100% wake you up with sex near enough every morning.

He's so smug about it, too; he'll just give you a grin and, when you realise what he’s doing, his expression will shift into a more 'innocent' one.

He'll just look at you like huh? What??? Did I do something????

Is a bit of a brat when it comes to letting you out of bed.

He'll literally snake his arms around your waist and pull you back in, then treat you as if he'd just saved you from the floor of lava around the bed.

"Don't I get a reward for bein' your hero?"

"Yeah, my fingers in your eye sockets if you make me late for work again."

He has his tender moments, though.

He's a body worshipper, so you can expect him to be pressing deep, wet kisses to every patch of skin within his reach.

No remorse. Just straight-up will cover you in his saliva.

He also has a guilty habit of covering you in his love when you sleep.

And he'll just leave it to dry on your body. Then, when you wake up and find it crusted , you call back his name and make him retreat under the covers, stifling a chuckle.

Morning talks. Big fan of them.

Loves to debate either the biggest questions or the simplest of hypotheses with you.

"Who would win in a fight between me and Ghost?"

"Ghost."

"Alright, why?"

"Because he's a walking wall of death, babe. And you're my precious lil Philly :-)))."

"...Yeah, I am,"

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously :-)

Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist

AO3 Wattpad

Taglist: @multi-fandomlovers-world

[pinejayy]

╰┈➤ SFW & NSFW Headcanons || One Piece!!

featuring: dracule mihawk and arlong

a/n: @everlastlady requested some nsfw headcanons of mihawk! and i’m adding arlong to satisfy my monster fucker needs uwu

summary: NSFW!! degrading, biting, blood, oral mention, mihawk is a sweet babey and arlong is basically an ass

Dracule Mihawk

SFW

Now this man is going to respect you to the very end I can see he's the type man to grab your hand and give it a gentle kiss and tell you how beautiful you are. "You're so beautiful my sweet darling."

And honestly I can see him as a sugar daddy, he'll go after bounties and once he gets the money be prepared to get spoiled! He'll buy you anything. You're his babygirl/boy.

And he'll protect you to the very end, and if someone were to lay a finger on you let's just say they'll be chained up to some bricks and be thrown into the ocean.

He's great with a sword and he's going to teach you how to use a sword, and you're not gonna be as great as him but he's gonna teach you anyways.

Whenever he had to leave for long periods of time he makes sure to take you on a nice dinner the night before. And he's gonna treat you with nice things like gifts, kisses, cuddles and a romantic night in the bed.

He does have to keep your guys relationship on the low, because who knows what will happen if someone got their hands on you because of him, he would feel awful.

Definitely loves giving you pet names!! "Darling, Sweetheart, Dear, Love and Princess/Prince."

He honestly has trouble showing any kind of affection, so it was pretty awkward the first few weeks of dating him. But as time has passed by he started to show you more affection.

NSFW

THE SWORD HE'S CARRYING ISN'T THE ONLY BIG AND LONG THING HE HOLDS AROUND. DUDE IS PACKING, AND HE KNOWS HOW TO USE IT.

He isn't too loud in the bed, a few moans and groans. But loves to talk a lot. "You're doing a great job Darling." and "You wrap around my cock so well, you feel so good."

Mihawk knows how to please his lover, he knows what places to grope and kiss. He knows what exactly to whisper in your ear to make you weak to your knees.

He's the type of man to think about your pleasure first rather than his. He wants to put you first. "Be a doll for me and get on your knees."

When he has you pinned against the bed he loves thrusting slowly into you. He loves seeing your face reactions. And also depending on his mood is going to be his pace. If he's pissed off and needs to let out some steam he'll pound you until you pass out. Oof.

Wear his hat and only the hat he's going to be on top of you in a second, his hands all over you. "Oh my, look at you with my hat. I was looking for that." He'll whisper and bring his lips to your neck.

He's definitely into marking you. Such as hickeys and scratch marks.

Man loves oral, and he prefers to give rather than receive. Don't get him wrong he loves a good blowjob but he loves getting in between your legs. He loves all the sweet lewd noises you make and he loves the way you arch your back. And this man loves the way you taste. "You taste divine as always darling."

Arlong

SFW

This man is selfish being, and honestly he's gonna treat you like trash. He's going to treat you more like a pet rather than a lover. So you better buckle up because you're in for a ride. He's very disrespectful towards you.

Considering you're human he's going to treat you like a pile of hot garbage. And he's definitely going be talking down on you. "You're a worthless Human, you're lucky that I keep you as a pet."

Since you belong to him he definitely makes you wear a collar that has his name. "That's right, show the world you belong to me."

Arlong has a huge bounty on his head and he knows that it's a huge risk on you too, because people can go after you and use it against him. But he could give two shits on what happens with you. If they take you away and kill you that's your problem.

He always makes sure you're by his side, whenever he goes on meetings or parties you're always by his side. And when he's sitting on his chair he has you kneeling next to him.

You may be a pet but he still a sugar daddy, he wants his pet to look good for him.

He doesn't bother to call you by your name, but he enjoys calling you "Pet, Stupid Human and Worthless Chum."

You fall asleep whenever he gives you permission, you eat whenever he allows you to eat. He controls your life. He will make you eat out of a dog bowl.

NSFW

He's a very selfish man when it comes to the bedroom, he only thinks about his own pleasure. But if he's in a good mood he'll treat you so well. And he's going to make you feel so good. "I bet human dick can't make you cum like that way I do."

His favorite thing is when you sit on his lap, he'll tug onto your collar roughly. That's his favorite position. Fucking you as he's sitting down. He'll groan loudly in your "God, you're so tight." And loves slapping your ass.

He loves biting you, sinking his shark like teeth into your soft skin makes him hard. Watching the blood drip down, licking it up is a sweet treat for him.

He loves forcing you to your knees as he's sitting on his chair. He loves when you suck him off, he'll forcing your head down. And you better take his full length and trust me babygirl he's huge. He'll also thrust into your mouth.

Arlong is going to fuck you, and fuck you so good that you won't be able to walk for the next few days. And whenever your having sex with him he's going to hit the right places. Making you scream his name out. He doesn't care if anyone hears you.

Loves to mark you, so bite marks. Scratch Marks, Bruises and Hickeys. And you better show off your markings. Be proud of them.

He can fuck you anywhere, and he doesn't care if anyone walks in on you guys. He doesn't care if they watch or not.

Overall he's a selfish being. But he will dick you down so good that you crave it.

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

can the heavens be an actual character in tgcf because holy shit it's gotta be in love with xie lian too 😭😭 i'm talking e-ming style

like "darling of the heavens" is RIGHT what the fuck did he even ascend for the third time??

spoilers ahead! but i love how for everyone else it's like suitably dramatic and fitting and like, obviously no one was really ready to ascend but it felt like a good time like the music swelled and the lighting dimmed and then boom here's your eternal reward noble hero

like yushi huang? striking and tragic but strangely beautiful end, a selfless sacrifice that touches hearts and had her gently lifted by the heavens to honor her unmatched bravery and grace. pei ming? a decorated general, living the fast life, wars won single-handedly and with the loyal aid of the shining blade he went on to shatter with his own hands.

even shi qingxuan, despite everything - the playful and graceful, haughtily noble action of a beautiful young lord, acknowledged but the heavens.

xie lian? the first one was pretty dramatic i'll admit, but in hindsight that was just xie lian being xie lian and his "body in abyss, heart in paradise"

like in reality my boy was just on his live laugh love journey his teacher sent him on EXPLICITLY tho avoid this exact scenario and xl went and casually ended up at the exact bridge where that exact ghost was and thought it'd be a simple normal-ghost job. it was not. his epic words doomed the rest of the narrative, what a fucking mess, mnq must have been tearing his hair out and crying blood

like even hua cheng went up with a bang and dropped back down like a girlboss but my man xie lian's second one was him in the throes of depression and trauma, and the third one was.

what was it even? how did he even do it, he was literally just collecting trash, my guy is such a babey and good boy the heavens just keep pulling him back up like "awww shucks, forget the war crimes, look at that little face!!!!"

like no wonder junwu never got over him this bitch kept popping up into his face every other tuesday by doing nothing

[firestorm09890]

stray canto vii part 1 thoughts (warning: long)

so many cool new designs!! it made me realize how few of interest we got in Canto VI. Then almost everything was pretty standard (classic maid and butler outfits, lots of suits, Cathy had a fancy dress at least? and everything was brown. yes I know, T Corp color drain, but still. and Öufi came before season 3 ended so that didn’t count), but this time we have Camille, the P Corp guys, Fanghunt Office, Hugo I guess, Hong Lu’s sister, the firefist guy? if he counts? he barely appeared, Sansón, and all the fancy dressed up bloodfiends. woo babey!!

speaking of Jia Xichun, I like her! She’s cute! I didn’t expect to see anyone related to Hong Lu, but in retrospect I probably should’ve, since his turn is next and his family is massive. I hope nothing bad happens to her. I've never read Dream of the Red Chamber

also speaking of Hugo, lol. lmao. when he was talking about pressing the button to get the reward I was like “oh hopkins 2, got it” and then Ryōshū sliced off his hands so I guess… not hopkins 2

ALSO the blonde Fanghunt guy is named Romero, which is apparently the name of a character in Vampire: The Masquerade. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was an intentional reference

Sinclair cursing that one guy out was so awesome. I remember when Canto V part 2 came out and he censored himself saying “Bitch Brother” people were worried that the new translators were making him softer than he actually was, but, nah, he tries his best to be a polite boy but when he’s actually genuinely pissed off he does not hold back. Ryōshū correcting him BUT THEN SAYING HIS INTERPRETATION WAS GOOD absolutely killed me. my son demands respect

it’s a good day to be a Leviathan fan

The scripted loss encounter was so cool. They set you to level 45 no matter what level your LCB Don is, and take away all your EGO except the base (which you can’t even use), and I don’t know how far you can actually get in this fight because I flipped tails every single time and lost every clash

let’s talk about the Barber! leave it to Project Moon to look at the character who didn’t have very much of a personality who stuck around with the priest and attempted multiple plans to bring Don Quixote back home so he could become sane again (and burned a bunch of Quixote’s chivalry books, also with the priest), and turned him into an insane vampire woman with big scissors and a shrill cackle who stitches masks onto people’s faces.

interesting choice to have Sancho and Dulcinea both named in a single line and then not acknowledged or mentioned again

Sansón! so based on his story log portrait background being bisexual, the blue name, and him resembling someone in Demian’s group in the Limbus Company PV, I feel confident saying he’s part of Demian’s Group. The spot where his Sign would be is covered by his mask, though, so no one in-universe knows

I think this is why Sinclair was cast in the role of the Knight of the White Moon: he also has the sign, which Sansón (who is the Knight of the White Moon) would be able to see, and even if other sinners have it too, they’re not Demian’s special guy. everyone else, though, seemed to be cast in the most humiliating role possible: horse to be ridden for Gregor, wild animal for Heathcliff, random peasant for Rodya, presumably homeless old person for Outis

ok Sansón. in the book, he’s a young college student who read the first part of Don Quixote and, in part 2, approaches Quixote saying he’s a big fan and encouraging him to go back out and do more knight stuff. However, he actually just thinks Don Quixote’s antics are very amusing and isn’t actually an earnest supporter, and is conspiring with the barber and priest to get Quixote back home to stay. the way they (priest and barber try to bring him home in part 1 is by tricking him with an adventure that’s conveniently in the same direction as their home village, but then they get sidetracked in an inn for a long time so they just put him in a cage and drive him home. in part 2, they want to play on Quixote’s terms for a more effective result. near the beginning of the second part, they have Sansón dress as a knight (called the Knight of Mirrors/Knight of the Forest. these titles have no significance in the book but apparently the mirror thing forces Quixote to see himself as the frail old man he is in Man of La Mancha), say his lady is fairer than Dulcinea to get Don Quixote to duel him, and then make Quixote promise to stay home for a year when he loses. however, Sansón is the one who loses, because he wasn’t expecting Quixote to actually be good at jousting. Later, near the very end, which iirc is 3 months after the first encounter, another knight called the Knight of the White Moon issues the exact same challenge to Don Quixote (it’s just Sansón again, and "White Moon" has no significance in the original book either), but this time Sansón wins, so Don Quixote goes home, dejected, and then becomes “sane” again and dies.

Since this Sansón is part of Demian’s group, I don’t think his intentions will be the same- the Barber was a bloodfiend, and he sees beyond the ambitions of the bloodfiends now- but it’s fun to know how he is in the source nonetheless

I really like how he didn’t show up after the Barber’s defeat to say something cryptic and then leave, he told us quite a bit, and though his methods were… questionable, he DID force the sinners to actually finally pay attention to Don Quixote

speaking of the stage play, I like the juxtaposition between Sansón’s play and the Barber’s. in a different context, what Sansón did might’ve been framed as horrifying, and we’d be talking about how uncanny and unreal this is, but I don’t think that’s the intention here. the sinners might be playing roles, and all the enemies are cardboard cutouts, but it’s better than putting targets on real people (though I guess they’re not “people”, they’re bad, bad, bloodfiends). the cheerful music in La Manchaland is distorted and out of place, while the stage play is nice in comparison. the music for the talking sections is a bit too upbeat for the situation, but the music during the battles really immerses you. guitar! trumpet! maraca! this music is clearly composed to emulate spanish music, and it’s very earnest, which I think is important, with how easily music sets tone in media.

in both cases, Don Quixote is in a delusion. nothing in the stage play of her adventures is real, but she’s also completely wrapped up in the narrative of evil bloodfiends without the knowledge that she is one. a violent nightmare and a peaceful dream, both of which she needs to wake up from.

they both do this thing with black-and-white thinking, too. there’s a difference between the “good” bloodfiends, which you should get along with, and the “bad” ones, which you need to kill (though Don sees them both as bad), and then the bandits in the stage play are cartoonishly evil and love to bully the weak. except it seems the first is the narrative the Barber wanted to sell, while the second is Don Quixote’s reality… I mean, the play is definitely inaccurate, but we’ve seen how Don behaves

if you follow me for kingdom hearts and are for some reason reading this you know how much I love Nobodies in kh. people who used to be human, but aren’t anymore, who look close enough but are different on an intrinsic and physiological level, that everyone automatically treats as unreasonable monsters that need to die when they’re more complicated than that… I love it so much, I’m cheering and clapping whenever bloodfiend morality is brought up. Moses said that Larierre was cordial and offered her a place to sit and talk, but then also said bloodfiends are insatiably hungry and you shouldn’t underestimate them. agh I love it

also THE MUSIIIIIC every fight theme so far has been a banger. songs that were already good but with typical carnival instruments, big brass swing, the aforementioned nice spanish music, and the fucked up and evil sequel to dubstep electroswing featuring evil laughter

and finally, the helm of mambrino. in early part 1 of Don Quixote, he sees a barber (COMPLETELY unrelated barber to the other barber btw) carrying a basin on his head, and thinks it’s the amazing mystical Helm of Mambrino, so he attacks the barber and steals the basin. Don Quixote wears it as a helmet a few times and everyone thinks it looks really stupid. they did not fight a bear for it, nor did they go into a cave. idk what this might actually be in the City. either we’ll see or we won’t

[000marie198]

Comparing Sonic Wachowski as he was in the first movie to the second movie and-

My baby boy has grown so much?! And I don't just mean him having gotten taller and healthier. Look at his expressions, his facial lines.

He is babey and that won't change but he has grown, he has gotten more mature. There's this big brother look on his face now, a sense of responsibility.

Look at him! He has grown so much I am crying

[schoopsahoy]

i've binged all your writings and i just wanna say that I LOVEEE love love how you write your stories. can i request a hurt/comfort with steve where he accidentally hurt the reader's feelings. no specific requests bcs im just a sucker for these types of fanfics, i'll leave it all to you to decide on what you wanna write. THANKK YOUU

aah thanks so much for the love babey !!! here’s a little somethin for your req, i hope you enjoy it <33

cw: steve being a dumb boy. bit angsty. general hurt/comfort, soft make up vibes. not proofread.

Robin’s brow furrows deeper as everyone around the table keeps laughing, the girl still as confused as she was when the joke was first told despite the multiple attempts at explaining it.

“It just doesn’t make any sense.” She grumbles, slumping back against the booth in a huff with her arms crossed over herself to really cement her annoyance.

“C’mon, you’ve gotta get it by now.” Your words come out as a laugh, cheeks a little sore from the way your grin had tugged at the corners at your mouth all night.

“Yeah Rob, even she gets it.” Steve’s head tilts towards you, a gesture only a modicum more subtle than pointing. “Surely you can.”

You instantly feel a drop in your stomach, a nasty feeling not that different to when your foot slips from underneath you or when you peer a little too far over a high ledge. You don’t let your smile falter, force out a fake laugh because you don’t want to make things awkward for anyone by being upset by something so little, so stupid.

Because maybe you are a little slow on the uptake sometimes, whispering to Steve to explain things to you or joining in the laughter a few beats after everyone else after it’s finished processing in your head. Away with the fairies, a little ditsy and easily confused, but it’s just how you are.

You know Steve didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, you can tell by the way his arm still slung over your shoulders to keep you pressed close to him. He hasn’t even noticed that you’ve dropped out of the conversation, suddenly quiet and withdrawn because you’re stuck in your own head and a little embarrassed because is that how everyone sees you?

You feel like you’re not really there for the rest of the evening, head all foggy and the lights suddenly feeling too bright - eyes blinking hard to try and keep them from watering. You’re not going to cry, the sting along your lash line only makes you more determined to hold it together, at least until you get home.

Steve has to nudge you to bring you back to the room enough so you can shuffle out of the booth, an unconvincing smile flashed to him when he looks at you with pinched brows and confusion across his face.

“What’s up with you? Y’gone all quiet.” Steve clicks his seatbelt into place, eyes looking at you rather than the keys he’s turning in the ignition.

You shrug, still feeling a little silly for being upset and letting a throwaway comment have such an effect on you. You sit low in the passenger seat, tucked into yourself as you stare out the window at the inky dark night.

“Baby.” It’s almost a whine, a plea to you to give him something more than a lift of your shoulders. “You can tell me y’know? You can tell me anything, any time.”

He waits for you to say something more, or anything, but it doesn’t come. Your lips pressed shut, if the light hit them he’d probably notice them quivering as you try to hold it together, breathing slow and quiet and controlled.

The car ride is almost silent, save for the hum of the engine and the nervous tapping of Steve’s fingers against the wheel. He knows somethings wrong, he just doesn’t know what.

Your eyes stay on the window, following each droplet of condensation trickle down before it’s swallowed by the door frame. It takes all your courage to finally say something, voice barely above a whisper and the words come out as a croak with how much you’re having to control your breathing.

“I’m -“ You take another deep breath, it’s needed with the way Steve instantly looks over to you despite the fact he’s driving. “I’m not stupid, y’know.”

“What? What d’you mean? Of course you’re not stupid.” His hand is instantly on your thigh, the best physical comfort he can give right now. “Why are you saying that?” You can hear how upset he sounds, and you almost feel bad for saying anything because you know he’d never want to hurt you, always so careful and soft around you like you’re the most precious thing in the world.

Your inhales are shaky, tears once again threatening to spill over your lash line as you push your words out. “‘Cause you said “even she gets it”, like I don’t get anything, like I’m stupid. But I’m not stupid.” You wince a little at how much you sound like a child, voice all weak and close to a whimper.

“Huh?” Steve gives your thigh a squeeze, eyes darting between you and the road so he can find somewhere to pull over. “Babe, I don’t think you’re stupid at all.” He puts the car into park, perched on a curb only a few blocks away from your house. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’d never mean it like that.”

You still can’t look at him, not more than a glance anyway because you’re certain if you make eye contact you’ll lose your composure. “S’not nice though, guess I’m a little slow with it sometimes but I get things.” You have to tuck your bottom lip under your teeth to stop it quivering. Your lashes blink quickly as you feel a couple of tears break over the barrier of your lids, rolling down your cheeks leaving little damp trails behind.

As soon as Steve hears you sniffle, face all scrunched as you try to keep any more tears from spilling, he’s straight on you. Belt unbuckled so he can lean over the center console and wipe at the sad stripes left down your cheeks with his thumbs. “Hey, nonono, don’t cry, oh baby.” His voice is all sad and soft as he takes your face in his hands, your eyes closed tight as you try to avoid his gaze. “Y’not stupid, you’re my best girl, yeah?” He punctuates his words with gentle kisses on your cheeks. “If anything, I’m stupid, sayin’ stuff like that.”

You let out a small laugh, a little sad with how you sniffle again after but it’s genuine at least. “You’re not, you’re jus’ a big meanie.” Your voice is still shaky but there’s a smile pulling at the corners of your lips as Steve keeps kissing there, a smile of his own appearing when he sees yours.

“Yeah, you’re right, I am.” He pouts at you, eyes all loving on you as his thumb rubs soft circles on your cheekbone. “I’m really sorry, baby. Y’know I never want to make you sad, think you’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“So dramatic.” You roll your eyes, the flush on your damp cheeks ruining any attempt at teasing. “Guess you’re forgiven.”

“Yeah? Y’sure?” Steve nudges his nose against yours, and even with his face so close you can tell

his grinning by the lilt in his voice.

“Mhm.” You nod, brushing your noses together again. “I’m sure.”

“I love you, you know that? So much.” Steve pulls back slightly so he can look at you properly when he speaks, eyes grazing all over your face as he keeps a gentle hold on it.

“I know, Stevie, I love you too.” You still feel a little shy saying it, even though you know Steve feels the same way. The words still leaving you with a dizzy head and flutter in your chest like it’s the first time.

“If I ever upset you again, you give me a good hit yeah? A real smack.” He watches you until you give him a small nod, all giggles at how seriously he’s looking at you. “I’m not kidding, babe. Knock some sense into me. Promise me you will.” He holds his pinky out to you.

“Okay, okay, I promise.” You’re smiling properly now, laughing at his proposition as you link your pinky finger with his.

“Good girl.” He brings your hand to his lips so he can press a kiss across your knuckles. “We best be gettin’ you home, yeah?”

You nod, dabbing at your cheeks to dry any lingering wet spots when Steve lets go of your hand to start driving again. As soon as he has a hand free again he holds it out to you, wiggling his fingers at you until you take it and hold it in your lap. You draw lines up and down and around his knuckles with the index finger of your other hand, tracing slow patterns across his skin whilst you sit in the comfortable quiet - occasionally broken by a small sniffle even though you don’t feel like crying anymore.

“I love you.” Steve looks over at you as you focus on your fingers motions, voice all soft and sincere and you find yourself smiling down at where your hands link.

“I love you, too.” You don’t think you’ll ever get tired of saying it, or hearing Steve say it to you. It’s probably your favorite thing to say now, when you really think about it.

[turtlecleric]

viole(n)t part 2 babey (nsfw, 07!leo x fem reader x 07!raph, same verse as this)

---

When the door closes behind you, the atmosphere shifts.

Raphael already sits at the head of the bed, leaning his shell back against the headboard. Eager boy, you think, biting the inside of your cheek to hold back a smile. When Leo takes your hand and guides you to stand in the middle of the room, anticipation quickens your heartbeat. He stands in front of you, staring intently.

“Are you ready for the rules?”

It’s a familiar routine. You let yourself relax, let yourself sink into that headspace, before you answer. “Yes, Leonardo.”

He hums low in his throat, clearly pleased. You lick your lips, and his gaze flicks down to watch before returning to your eyes. “There’s actually only one rule this time,” he says evenly. “You may only come if both of us are inside of you. Understand?”

You swallow thickly, rolling the rule around in your head before you respond. “Yes, Leonardo.”

A smile tugs at the corner of Leo’s mouth. He steps forward to grip the bottom of your shirt with both hands, and you raise your arms so he can pull it off of you. Once it’s off, his hand raises to ghost against the front of your neck, to trail down the middle of your chest and then to your stomach. Then he steps closer, his face close enough that you feel his breath. 

He’s watching you closely. Always watching. 

The light touch of his hand on your stomach moves to your side, then around your back. Slowly, tracing a lazy line up, up, up with his fingers, he tucks his thumb between your skin and the back of your bra and gives a little tug to pull the fabric away from you. You hear a growl sound from the bed. 

“Impatient,” Leo mutters under his breath. Still, he relents and crowds closer to reach both of his hands behind you and unhook your bra. He's so close you can feel the heat radiating off of him, so close his jaw brushes against your face. You shut your eyes, breathing in the smell of him, as he slides your straps down your shoulders and pulls the bra gingerly away from you.

You hear a wet sound behind you, then a grunt. You remember that you're free to look, and when you do the sight of Raphael stroking himself while he stares at you has your heartbeat picking up again. His eyes are wild already, you think, but then Leo’s hands find your breasts, pulling your attention back to him. When he starts to gently brush his thumbs back and forth across your nipples you let out a breathy sigh.

“Such a pretty little thing,” Leo murmurs. His eyes cut to yours. “What do you say?”

“Thank you, Leonardo.”

Another pleased hum. His eyes return to your chest. Light hands trail down your sides, his fingers dipping beneath the waistband of your shorts. They linger there for a moment before he kneels at your feet and tugs the shorts down. When you step out of them, Leo presses his nose to your panties and nuzzles until his snout is pressing over your clit through the fabric. He noses against you and inhales deeply, his tiny back-and-forth movements pulling a soft sound out of you. You hear Raph curse under his breath. The slick sound of him still pumping himself makes you swallow again.

Leo pulls his head back and grips the waistband of your panties. He tilts his head to suck on the inside of your thigh. He leaves one purple mark, then a second, before pulling the panties down and tossing them to the side, as well, when you step out of them. There's a long moment where he just stares, taking in the sight of you. Raking his eyes over your legs, your stomach, your face. Then back to the heat between your legs. He likes seeing you like this, you think to yourself. Bare and vulnerable. Then your thoughts desert you as he presses his snout against you and inhales again, the low rumble of his exhale making you sigh. Leo peers up at your face again, his pupils blown so wide his eyes look black. Then he pulls back and stands.

“You want to feel good, pretty girl?”

You press your lips together, feeling a blush creep up your neck. “Ye-Yes, Leonardo.” 

Whatever your expression is doing makes his lopsided smile sharpen. Leo bends, scooping you up and carrying you to the bed like you’re nothing. The movement makes you go a little dizzy, makes it hard for you to think, though that might actually be from the words ‘pretty girl’ still ricocheting around in your head. 

Leo climbs onto the bed and sits, leaning his head down to kiss you sweetly as he cradles you in his arms. His tongue just barely grazes your own. You want more, opening your mouth wider for him, but then he pulls away. You make an annoyed sound, and that makes him huff in amusement.

Oh, he’s in that kind of mood today. Okay.

Leo maneuvers you easily in his arms, positioning you to sit between his legs so your back is flush with his plastron and you’re facing Raph. He starts to kiss your neck and palm at your breasts, while Raph settles onto his stomach between your legs and spreads you open with his thumbs. The hungry look in his eyes makes your breath quicken. 

“Fuck,” Raph whispers. His wide tongue drags slowly across your clit. He starts to paint warm, wet circles over it as he groans into you, then pulls back only long enough to rasp, “Pretty little thing is right. Just look at ya.”

Your head falls back when Raph dives back in. Leo's hands tighten their grip on your chest, his mouth breathing hot air against your ear as he speaks. “He gave you a compliment. Say thank you.” A shiver runs through you at the warning tone in his voice. 

“Thank- hah. Thank you, Raph.”

Leo sinks his teeth lightly into your shoulder, rolling your nipples between his fingers at the same time that Raph probes at your entrance with a thick finger. You inhale sharply, arching your back and letting out a squeak that makes Leo chuckle and release his bite on your shoulder just to nibble on your earlobe.

“You’re okay, pretty girl,” he murmurs into your ear. “We’ve got you.”

Raph pushes his finger in and out, agonizingly slow, going further with each push in. Stretching, exploring. His tongue flattens and drags across your clit once more before his mouth seals around it and he sucks once, twice, three times, four, on and on until you start to squirm. You feel that high beginning to build as he works you, as Leo continues to mark the skin of your neck and shoulders with his teeth. Obscene, wet sounds mix with your heavy breaths, and you try to wrangle your thoughts into something coherent so you don’t break the only rule you’ve been given. 

“Please,” you whine. You feel something firmly pressing against your lower back, but you're distracted by Leo's right hand leaving your chest to rest lightly over your throat. 

“Please what?��� Leo whispers. “Be specific.”

With the next thrust of his hand, Raphael slips a second finger inside of you. It burns a little as he continues to work you open, massaging your walls carefully, and another whine from you ends in a gasp. 

“Please, Leo, please, I want-” Raph sucks on your clit harder, his tongue licking up against it now each time the suction eases. Your thighs instinctively start to close around his head, but you manage to hold them in place as they tremble harder. “Please, can you both just- fuck me, fuck me, please.”

Leo returns his hands to your nipples, pinching hard enough to make you cry out before he resumes light brushes across them with his fingers. “What do you think, Raph?” he murmurs into your neck.

Raph lifts his head, watching your eyes flutter with a smirk. Then he drags the flat of his tongue across your clit once more, making your legs twitch again. You watch him leer up at you, his mouth and chin shining, as his fingers continue pumping slowly into you. “Well. She did say please.”

You feel Leo jerk his head, and then Raph pulls his fingers out and grabs your hips. He yanks you closer to him, laughing when you yelp at the sudden movement. Leo moves from behind you and you fall back onto the bed. 

What..?

You realize Leo is standing at the foot of the bed once his hands hook underneath your arms, and it’s his turn to pull you toward him. He stops you when your shoulders are resting right where the bed ends, with your hand hanging down over the edge, and you realize suddenly what’s going to happen.

Oh my god. Fuck.

You lick your lips, taking a deep breath before opening your mouth and holding it open for Leo.

“Good girl.” He sticks a thumb into your mouth, pressing against your tongue. “Suck,” he says firmly. 

You obey, breathing hard through your nose as you feel Raph lining himself up. Raph’s hands grasp the underside of your thighs and push your legs back. When he shoves inside of you, the burning stretch, despite his preparation, makes you whimper. It’s an intoxicating mix of pleasure-pain that always melts your brain right out of your head.

Leo’s thumb pulls out of your mouth, and you feel the bed dip beside you. You don’t have time to question it before you feel his thumb, wet from your own spit, start to rub circles against your clit while Raph continues to slowly push in and out of you. Your sharp inhale followed by a string of high-pitched sounds makes both boys laugh, and you clench your fists into the blanket beneath you to try and ground yourself, to focus on anything else beside the waves of electric pleasure pulsing through you. 

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, don’t come. 

“L-Leo,” you force out. “Please.”

If anything, he just presses harder. You can feel Raph catching his stride, increasing his speed. His hips start slapping against you as he spears you open, and you can almost feel the vibration of his voice when he starts to babble like he always does when he feels you clenching around him. 

“Shit, doll, you’re- ah, tight, you feel- feel so- fuck, so fucking good.” 

You can’t stop yourself from gasping with each breath, trying, trying, trying not to come. It gets a bit easier when Leo pulls his hand away and climbs off the bed. You realize your eyes closed at some point when they fly open at the feeling of Leo’s hand resting on your throat. He’s standing over you again, staring with a stern expression. “What do you say?”

Right. Compliment from Raph. Right. Fuck.

You try to say ‘thank you,’ but you don’t think you quite manage. Leo’s next words blur in your ears as Raph starts to piston in and out of you at a slightly different angle. You try to speak again, try to ask Leo to put you out of your fucking misery and shove his cock down your throat so you can come, but only a garbled, choking sound comes out. 

“I don’t think she can actually talk right now,” Raph says with something like delight. “I’m fuckin’ the brains right outta her, Fearless.”

It takes you a moment to fully process the words, but once you do, you try speaking again. You’re not even sure what you’re trying to say, but whatever comes out of you makes Leo tilt his head, his expression softening a bit. You stick out your tongue and try to beg with your eyes. Leo must take pity on you, because finally, finally, you feel his cock slide into your throat.

“Just a stupid little fucktoy, aren’t you, baby?” Leo mutters to himself. The words make your brain go fuzzy, and you feel your orgasm hit you all at once, sudden and intense and disorienting, like a fucking tidal wave. Your mind is blissfully blank of anything but feeling. All you can focus on is the high in your head, the shockwaves rippling through your body. Your eyes roll back as all your muscles tense beneath Raph’s weight, a guttural moan vibrating around the cock in your mouth before it cuts off. You can’t even make a sound anymore, even when Raph’s grip on your thighs tightens as he fucks you through it.

When you start to have a functioning brain again, you realize that you’re actually drooling. You can’t get your eyes to focus, so you keep them shut and focus instead on what you can feel. Raph readjusts, releasing your thighs so that he can hold your arms down at your sides. Leo thrusts into you deeper, his hand still resting on your throat, and you realize with a groan that he can feel the movement of his cock inside of you underneath his hand. 

Fuck.

You can hear Raph breathing a little harder. His hands leave your arms to palm at your breasts, to squeeze your torso just beneath them, to pinch and pull your nipples before he leans down to take one in his mouth and roll his thumb back and forth across the other. His next thrust is hard enough to push your whole body forward, deeper onto Leo’s dick. It makes you gag, and you feel Leo’s hand tightening on your neck. You can’t catch your breath, your throat convulsing around his length as each jolt from Raph pushes you just shy of too far onto Leo. 

For a moment, your heart flutters at the thought that you might pass out. 

Leo’s free hand slaps your cheek hard enough to sting, to make your eyes water. A threat colors Raph’s tone when he growls Leo’s name. Leo’s hand only tightens further around your throat, and now you really can’t breathe. Leo’s next words float down to you as if you’re underwater. 

“She can take it.”

It’s too much. Again, you feel the high wash over you, though this time it makes you go limp instead of tensing up. Time and meaning and thought all slip away, and the last thing you hear that you actually take in is Leo’s smug voice saying, “See?”

-

-

-

It’s hours later that conscious thought truly returns to you. Random, foggy memories float in and out of your mind. Flashes of touch and taste and sound that have you struggling to orient yourself. 

Just look at her

I think she just came again

Jesus, man, she’s really gone this time

Feel good, pretty girl? …Yeah, I know. Don’t worry, we gotcha

Let me switch with you, I wanna try somethin’

God, I love your tits

How many times do you think we can get her to make that face?

Only one way to find out

Perfect, fuck, she’s perfect

Gonna ruin you, baby

You liked that, huh? Needy little thing

Leo’s voice cuts through the haze in your mind, grounding you a bit more to the present. “Are you back with us, darling?”

You’re wrapped in something soft. You feel clean. Warm. Someone is holding you, your head resting in the crook of their arm. It smells like Leo, which means the person rubbing your feet must be Raph. All you can really think is about how exhausted you feel. You can’t even open your eyes. When you try, your eyelids flutter uselessly. You’ve never felt so… heavy.

It’s bliss.

You feel Leo press a kiss onto your forehead, then you hear Raph’s voice say, “Not quite back, I guess. Maybe we went too hard on her. Ya think it was too much?”

You try to speak, but you can’t even open your mouth. A short, contented hum is all you can manage, and you feel Leo’s plastron jump a bit when he huffs in amusement. 

“No,” he says, the fondness in his voice making you melt further into his arms. “I think it was just right.”

---

Tag list: @yorshie, @luckycharms1701, @thejudiciousneurotic, @khayalli, @thelaundrybitch, @mxalmighty

[partygcthered]

bree's druid types

Daddy's Good Little Soldier TM

features include:

Nap (can nap in any place at any time, emotionally exhausted, overworked, will awake more tired than he went to sleep)

I Have Too Much On My Shoulders (in combat situations he will try to take on every single foe by himself whilst shouting for the group to run to safety)

Panic (the inner screaming and brain spinning that comes with being unable to make a decision when faced with world ending scenarios while being completely unflappable on the outside)

Don't Let Anyone See You Cry TM (crying in hidden places, going missing for hours at a time and returning pretending he was just hunting in wildshape, always returns with food)

Care More About Others Than Yourself (endlessly patient and listening to others about their issues, offers help to solve them while ignoring his own)

Endless Loyalty (will in fact follow his father into death itself, and then try and exchange his soul for his dads so his dad can go free)

Smile Through The Pain (to be fair his smile is radiant like the sun itself so this one is. a lil painful. but anyway. he just smiles like he's completely fine and balanced, but he's really just young and indecisive and not quite as trained as he needs to be in order to uh, kill a giant brain and save the world)

Moo (tiger moos.)

Feral Rage (threaten anyone he's close to and witness the wrath of nature, which in a lot of situations is actually scarier than a barbarian's rage)

Buff Legolas

Features Include:

I Was Born For This (raised by leaders, trained to lead, innately capable at handling problems of others)

Meditative Wisdom (calm, collected, centering, exudes the sort of energy that makes you collect your thoughts and take a deep breath)

Checkered Past TM (doesn't talk about what brought him back to the high forest or why he has new battle scars, gets introspective and gloomy/brooding at certain times of the year and shuts himself off)

Wounded Heart (doesn't respond to those obviously interested in him, has not taken a lover or partner in decades, mysteriously silent on the subject)

Expert Healer (knows anything and everything about potion making and healing spells, has the gentlest hands and most soothing bedside manner, can get anyone to calm down and allow him to help them)

Leader By Calamity (only in a position of power because someone has died, was likely not ready to ascend to a position of power when he did but did so because he was trained to)

Smile With Your Eyes (when he's amused, his eyes sparkle like pure starlight)

Awoo Crew (will run feral and howl at the moon with the other wolves in his pack at least twice a month)

Sunshine Boy

Features Include:

Unbridled Power Of The Sun (he is pure sunlight in a human body, the human equivalent of a golden retriever, everyone's friend, the sweetest bean, a good boy, squishy baby, look at his little cheeks just squish them)

Friend TM (this druid is friend shaped. while not being the favored of any known deity of charisma or luck, he can become friends with anyone he meets whether animal or humanoid-whether they intend to or not)

Tramns The Gemnder (pure of heart, dumb of ass, trans of gender. this druid is transmasc with a dash of gender fluidity. we love to see it.)

Cat???? (this druid must pet ALL THE CATS. canonically in his dnd lore has a tressym rescue which is up to a grand total of 30)

Squeaks TM (mountain lion squeaks. feel the pure unfiltered power of cuteness aggression, behold the mighty squeak. love him.)

Cry (minus two to all stats during applicable weeks because endometriosis. will cry at unpredictable times.)

Loves With His Entire Soul (this druid loves with his entire being, if he falls in love with your character, they will receive everything he has to offer including but not limited to his actual fucking soul.)

Ace TM (this druid is on the asexual spectrum because trauma.)

Baby (he's just babey, your honor)

Coming Apart At The Seams

Features Include:

Barely Contained (dare i say. bear-ly contained...okay i'll see myself out. this druid is barely keeping themselves together at any given moment)

?????? (curious. well read. researcher.)

Fuck Off TM (push his buttons the right way, or threaten someone he loves, and he will snap)

This Druid Can Hold So Much Trauma TM (patting him like a used car salesman, standing on my toes barely reaching his elbow tbh. idk what you want from me hes just tired and spread really thin ok)

I Care When Logically I Should Not Be Capable Anymore (gestures vaguely. look. for someone who fucking casually just mentions he spent time literally captive by drow and being used in a number of ways. he is incredibly blase about it. he should be a lot darker than he is. but hes so capable of a range of emotion that should be locked away for him.)

Bear Puns TM (i love him. if you want to be around him, you'd best be able to endure puns)

That's My Dad Your Honor (in which anyone with misplaced emotions abt their parents projects onto him and just wants him to say he is proud of them)

Objectify Me (endures objectification from others while not processing any emotion about it)

My Entire Heart (this guy is capable of loving with every single piece of himself, and i cry every single time.)

Bear Grumbles (dad noises but bear)

I Decide When The Hug Ends (he is over 300 pounds. he decides when the hug ends.)

[sleepy-steve]

Steddie sw au. I needs it. For the WIP title game.

🤩🤩🤩🤩

from the wip title game!!

ohoho my little secret project!! my steddie sex worker au!!

i've had this one on the backburner for A While. basically since before i even started posting fic this year. i'm so passionate about this idea but i really want to be able to do it justice so i'm letting it cook.

while i don't have anything solidly written, i have close to 4k in notes. everything from conflicts to soundtracks to various looks the boys will have bc this one is gonna span years of their lives.

basically it's a 90s AU about stripper steve and metal singer eddie who meet right before eddie's band takes off and becomes famous. they have an instant connection but steve is wary of falling for a customer and eddie is travelling a fair bit with the band. they keep meeting on and off between eddie's tours and continue to fall for each other but due to a variety of reasons they can't be together.

unfortunately i don't have a proper snippet for this one, but i do have some silly notes and a very very drafted scene from chapter 1!

eddie comes into the club after his band’s first big show in chicago

eddie is shouting a night for the band and small crew using a healthy chunk of the money they earned from their gig bc holy shit they actually made good money from it and had a sold out venue even! 

eddie is gay but still enjoys going to a strip club, he enjoys the stage shows and finds that strippers always have the most interesting stories to tell, plus he loves to shout for his friends to get dances 

the last thing he expects is a male dancer to grace the stage in a pale yellow lingerie set and platform heels with tanned muscly legs for days, swoopy soft hair, and the cheekiest smile he’s ever seen

it takes literally every ounce of his restraint to not hand over the entire amount the band made that night to that man the second he flashes a smile at eddie, but he does throw a decent stack of cash onto the stage

steve comes around after his stage set to thank eddie for tipping and to hustle his way into some more cash (part of the job babey!!) but actually finds this sweet little punk with big doe eyes, a huge smile, and a slutty little waist to be really super charming and actually fun to talk to

it’s to a point where he’s almost sad that the club is closing, but he won’t complain about the stack of cash he made that night (now he and robin won’t worry about making rent that month at least)

MAYBE the first night eddie is a bit drunk and accidentally asks steve to go out with him, or even worse, to marry him. lmao.

“i’m drunk” the voice croons. the beat kicks in. the spot lights flash on. the dancer’s head flicks back, hair jumping softly, long neck exposed, and holy shit?? that’s a Man. “but right now i’m so in love with you” the song continues. the dancer brings a hand to his face, slowly dragging it down his jaw, his neck, his chest, across a soft yellow lace bra. his body is rolling effortlessly with the sound of the music. the rolls start at his chest, travelling down his toned stomach, down his hips, all the way down to his clear platform heel. “and i don’t wanna think too much about what we should or, shouldn’t do” he takes his extended leg, dragging it underneath his bent leg, turning his body around, pole dragging across the back of his shoulder lazily until he’s facing the pole, back arched, ass sticking out, endlessly long legs stretched. his hips swivel back and forth in turn, and he brings a hand slowly up the pole, wry smile on his face. eddie is fully losing his mind and it’s like 15 sec into the song.

[tiny-cloud-dragon]

I just realized - some of those notes the guys leave around the house could be about doctor or vet visits!!! Does TCD visit either and does he CHOMP or is he the goodest healthiest boy?

The vet/doctor? You mean the place of torment? Tiny Cloud dragon does NOT like the vet, or the doctor. He has gone to both. Which one he visits depends on which form he's in that day.

Tiny Cloud dragon uses the vet for check ups and emergency visits. His Tiny Royal Majesty suffers the indignity of being put in a cat carrier and hauled around like common luggage! He liked the vet, at first. Everyone was so nice and they all came out to gush over him and shower him with the attention worthy of a tiny king. But then everything went pancake-shaped! The veterinarian did rudely manhandle the Royal Form, poking and prodding, and shining lights in his eyes!

That simply would not do, and Tiny Cloud dragon had nipped at the vet. He had been put in the cat pannini press, and then the Royal Backside was most savagely punctured! Tiny Cloud dragon was most disturbed, and almost refused the treat he was offered afterwards. Disheveled and bewildered, he crawled into Zack's shirt and refused to come out until he was home.

Angeal, Sephiroth, and Genesis were furious. How dare their Tiny dragon king be treated this way! Their poor babey was traumatized! Angeal called the office and "had words" with the doctor, Genesis left a savagely worded Yelp review, and Sephiroth had had to be physically restrained.

From then on, the vet was his arch enemy! He would growl and hiss and bite, but the staff at the new vet office were very understanding and patient (and adoring)! Now he just makes a show of hissing, growling, and trying to bite/scratch so they know their place!

Medium Boi Cloud goes to the human doctor. He stubbornly refuses to go, preferring to try to heal his own injuries with healing factor in his venom and saliva. Sonetimes it doesn't work and an injury/illness gets so bad, Mom!Angeal has to take him in (drag him in by the ear). He is very grumpy, nervous, and on edge. He hisses at everyone, and Angeal has to hold onto him to keep him from running out.

His file is stamped with "Caution: Bites. Is venomous", because he will bite, and it will leave the victim with a noodle arm that lasts a few hours.

He will sit still, though, feeling less vulnerable in his bigger form. It helps that Angeal is there to keep him calm. The man has a soothing presence, even when needles are involved. Cloud doesn't like shots, but they aren't so bad when Angeal is rubbing his ears or letting him hide his face in his shirt.

Zack, Sephiroth, and Genesis are not allowed to go into the exam room with Cloud because

Zack will scoop Cloud up and walk out with him if he makes the Sad Eyes at him.

Sephiroth will try to burn the place down if Cloud so much as whimpers.

Genesis will throw a very loud, very flamboyant fit and go full Kaern Mode, denanding to speak to the manager if so much as looks like he might cry.

Big Boi Cloud is not afraid of the vet at the large animal hospital. He's so big there's not much he's afraid of (except for fuzzy caterpillars). He just finds the whole process undignified. Here he is, a big noble, fearsome dragon king, being put in a halter and cross tied because he may or may not be marked as a biter He hisses and growls his displeasure, but tolerates being handled.

He can heal his own wounds with his venom and saliva, so he only really needs to go to the vet for serious injuries or regular health checks.

He can easily adjust his size to fit in Zack's car, and could just stay the size of a large dog, but where be the fun in that? And why make it easy? His Big Boi form was way too big for the horrid cat crate, so they couldn't shove him in there. If he was going to be inconvenienced with a vet visit, then everyone was going to be inconvenienced by his size!

[lizzypuppet1711]

things about toronto’s production of the great comet at crow’s theatre/musical stage co that i need everyone to know about because i am obsessed with this show.

as of writing i have seen this show five times.

very long under the cut:

full cast listed here. at time of writing, donna garner replaces louise pitre as marya, tyler pearse replaces lawrence libor as dolokhov, and ben carlson replaces marcus nance as andrey/bolkonsky. currently i’ve seen the og cast four times and the replacements once.

the stage is set up with seats on three out of four sides, with front rows at tables, back of house left and right sides at barstools, and a small balcony with some seats on house right. there are balconies on either side, with a revolving platform in the middle of the stage (revolving by being pushed by cast members or stagehands). seats around 200 people or so.

the actors are EVERYWHERE. it is so incredibly immersive

the music is very punchy

during prologue, everyone is taking shots as they’re introduced, except dolokhov, who drinks straight from the bottle and sprays it into the air

i’m a dolokhov girlie through and through and once he nodded hello at me during the prologue and i legit swooned

mary is walking around holding a program showing off the family tree, actors will point to them on tables etc

once anatole pointed at his face on it, pointed to himself, all in a very flirty manner

he winked at me during prologue once and i’m still thinking about it

evan buliung is acting his ass off as pierre

he is definitely is more gruff and acting focused (think dave malloy over josh groban)

at “hours at my screen”, pierre takes an audience member’s phone (from one of the tables… or once out of someone’s hands LMAO) and mimes tapping, scrolling through it etc

two stagehands move things on and offstage (such as the sofa, church props etc) and they are also in little costumes. it’s very adorable

dolokhov’s little soldier walk thing??? during moscow????? i’m sure there’s a reason for it bc both of them do it but i have no clue why it’s there???? love it tho

heeyun park as mary is also acting her damn heart out

private and intimate life has a faster tempo and is SUCH a banger as a result

an audience member gets briefly pulled up on the platform to be the cheap french thing, he typically kisses up their arm, hugs them, and sometimes sits on their lap a bit

pierre is playing the tambourine in the background during natasha and bolkonskys and it is honestly kind of funny

hailey gillis plays natasha very emotional and headstrong. her no one else has a sense of urgency, desperation, and deep longing

the platform is spinning and people are walking around and she is singing like an angel…

basically i want to be hailey gillis when i grow up

actors are rotating the platform during no one else and it ends with andrey standing behind her and pierre standing in front of her. no one talk to me i’m losing it

as the run has continued, dolokhov’s adlibs during his intro in the opera have increased drastically

lawrence libor as dolokhov had such an air and presence (rizz?) about himself i cannot DESCRIBE. the comphet he gave me… i miss him v much. he was also very much giving toronto mans. and he made SO MUCH eye contact. he loves to look at you. i miss him. i need him. who said that

tumblr theatre girlies you would go insane over lawrence libor. if this show had ANY b roll footage i know i would be seeing edits all over the place

i am president of the lawrence libor fan club and everyone should join me

tyler pearse as dolokhov has heavy frat boy energy. he is also gayer, and somehow, sluttier. gives short king energy despite only being an inch shorter than lawrence (apparently)??? don’t ask bc i don’t know either he just does. anyway thank u tyler pearse for making dolokhov bisexual for real

either way dolokhov is doing SO MUCH in this production. he is wild he is a whirling dervish he is arrogant he is a bastard he is everything to me

“YEAH BABEY LETS GOOOOOOO” -lawrence libor as dolokhov, upon his entrance

in one performance he would go YEAH BABEY three separate times in act 1. yeahh

flirting with a girl in the balcony, dabbing up a guy in the balcony, generally being hilarious

and tyler pearse leaning over the balcony, rose in his mouth, wolf howling… i can’t.

basically i can’t with this production’s dolokhov. i’m obsessed

anatole’s entrance… he’s a whore. all i can say

rita dottor (ensemble) does the high soprano bravooooooo and she always sounds so fantastic. live laugh love rita dottor

george krissa, who plays anatole, is probably the most attractive man in ontario. like if you googled hot guy he would be the first result.

“where did they find this anatole. was he made in a lab or something. he was perfect” — my friend after seeing it

tumblr theatre girlies you would also be obsessed with george krissa. like jeremy jordan andrew rannells level obsessed. please love these toronto actors with me

i’d let him ruin my life ANY DAY. it is a fact that lesbians love george krissa. i hope he knows

the way he plays it… my friend described it like “lucas steele is like an alien david bowie, and george krissa is a bridgerton man. just a very charismatic, but normal, guy”

while i would say that lucas steele’s anatole believes he is truly in love with natasha, i would not say the same for george krissa’s. some of the manipulation happening here during the opera is. quite clear

when he is entering the box natasha struggles to open her fan, fans herself frantically, under the arms etc. then when he enters immediately shifts to fanning in a cool and collected manner. hailey gillis master of comedy

“we are speaking of most ordinary things” is especially like. this is a male manipulator if i’ve ever seen one

natasha lost was added back in!! fantastic obviously

anatole checking his hair in the mirror before waking pierre up. fucker

“look dolokhov’s coming around… and we’re off to the CLEURB”

brendan wall (ensemble) walking around during the club scene with a glowstick necklace on is peak comedy to me

i’ve said it but tyler’s dolokhov is an absolute slut at this scene. and for what AND FOR WHAT!!!!

also fun tidbit but all the glasses (other than shots) and any clear bottles have real liquid in them. i am very concerned something will spill one day

when dolokhov gets right up in the audience’s face during “known only to his intimates” i LOVE it idk

during the duel, marya and rita steal off to house left directly beside the barstools and chatter about how bad of an idea this is, they’re so drunk, etc

special shout out to divine’s “he will kill you STOOPID HUSBAND” so good

dolokhov’s adlibs during the duel… i need him. sorry

dolokhov gets shot in the side rather than his shoulder, and unceremoniously rolls off the platform as it’s moving. looks painful

hélène screams when dolokhov is shot but not pierre. so much to think about here

a life changing dust and ashes from evan. i can’t describe anything more just that he’s incredible. i’ve learned so much about acting just by watching him a few times

natasha’s face at “am i guilty…” breaks my heart she is so tormented

we are canadians we are going to pronounce our french correctly! no more charmantay

hélène has started adding some very fun runs into charming as the run has gone on. divine brown marry me

anatole is shirtless during charming. btw.

again i know he’s gay and i’m gay but.

the entirety of this rendition of the ball has been stuck in my head since december

his “don’t lower your eyes i love you” that whole section is delicious i want to eat his voice

plus “BEWITCHING AND I LOVE YOUUU” UGHHH such an ear worm but only when it’s their voices

the choreo going on here is very nice btw

i love the way he says natalie at this part idk. it’s not overly enunciated and the vowel is just right <— vocal nerd

the kiss feels like it lasts forever

music gets very very loud at the end and you can feel it in your skin

also fun fact the house music before and after the show is orchestral but during intermission it’s electronic. bc. anatole. gah details

when marcus was still in the cast you could really hear his voice during letters and it sounded sooooo.

dolokhov’s stupid little thumbs up to indicate he will be ok. pleaseee. i laughed i did

generally lawrence would grab at the place he was shot at a lot; while pushing the revolve etc. loved that detail. (tyler does too but less so)

sonya and natasha just sounds so great. like they just always sound fantastic i love that song

sonya alone. yes i am weeping. yes camille eanga-selenge is everything i want to be and more. she’s phenomenal

dolokhov sitting in a big fuckin chair at the beginning of preparations just absolutely clearly regretting every decision he’s made to facilitate this. is great.

i know i keep talking abt lawrence libor but the image of him at this part is just. really great. to me. sorry

very campy and exaggerated scowling and grimacing from anatole

dolokhov is so sick of anatole’s shit

“here feel how it beats” is NOT entertained he pushes him back immediately

lawrence dolokhov’s “dawdling” business was him tuning his guitar i miss musician dolokhov sooooo much gah

balaga truly does not sing any of his lines. he is basically yelling the entire time. i don’t know how he does it. it’s chaotic and hilarious and so fun

sonya and mary hand out the egg shakers on house right and left respectfully

near the end of balaga, four audience members are brought up to dance with the cast! (i got to dance with mary once!)

dolokhov writhing on the floor during anatole’s long held note thank u

during the goodbye section, anatole comes around to said audience members and interacts with them; dancing with them, booping them on the nose etc, and at “kiss me one last time”, invites a lucky audience member to kiss his cheek. (this once, was me. yup. still processing it.)

once he accidentally knocked someone’s egg shaker from their hand, dolokhov picked it up, laughed, gave it a shake, and handed it back, and yes i’m still thinking about it

when they sit down, balaga and dolokhov will sit on the house right stairs, though once there was an empty seat nearby so dolokhov wedged his way in between two people, guitar and all. so fucking good

anatole will squeeze himself between two audience members on house left, put an arm around each, and look around at everyone sitting in that area, out into the audience, etc. if one is going to make eye contact with him, it is now

once he threw his head back to look at the people behind him, and someone, at the speed of light, took their phone out and snapped a picture of his upside down head. i scream laughed

lawrence’s BETRAYED BETRAYEDDDD was sooooo good. so so so good

hailey gillis is an absolute powerhouse during in my house

usually when “natasha’s whole body shook” she falls to the ground silently but last time i went she YELLED and i gasped so loud

at “i have refused him” louise would go NO in shock and i FREAK OUT ABOUT IT.

and i loved her “what then? would that be alright???”

“NATASHA CRIED OUT! GO AWAY! GO AWAY YOU ALL HATE AND DESPISE ME” sounds SO FUCKING GOOD!!! I LOVE YOU HAILEY GILLIS

when the call to pierre music starts i always get goosebumps

the fight choreo when pierre grabs anatole by the collar is very good

if we’re comparing to broadway, it feels less like anatole’s life is in danger here but like i’m not upset about it

at this point anatole does not seem sad or upset to me more just. pissed off that it didn’t go his way. like annoyed

as anatole leaves during pierre and anatole the staging has him stepping around/over natasha as she is choking from the arsenic and it is such a. show of his shallowness

his petersburg note is fantastic obviously. live laugh love george krissa

marcus nance (andrey) has such a deep and beautiful legit singing voice. it’s sooo gorgeous. any word that raises against marcus nance will fall.

I MISS HIMMMM ok sorry.

i am more sympathetic to ben carlson’s andrey, however. marcus was Incredibly stoic ben has a bit more emotion to him i think

i could swear sometimes hailey is actually crying during pierre and natasha

her “pytor kirillovich” sounds so tiny and fragile ugh my heart breaks

and his “…pierre” is so assuring AUGHH

it’s such a beautiful scene obviously. i love the two of them so damn much i hope only good things happen to them forever

“it was clear and cold” also. chills EVERY TIME

“having traced its parabola” and “like an arrow piercing the earth” hit me so hard i cannot explain

genuinely evan buliung gives the most effective inspiring fantastic mind blowing performance i maybe have ever seen on stage. he is such an incredible actor and he inspires me beyond belief

the end when the lights get really really bright and then fade out. god. so simple and so fucking beautiful

now this post is very long. thank u for reading it all if you did! (will update after seeing it more times if there’s things to say!!)

if you’re anywhere near toronto i BEG of you to go see it!! it’s closing march 24th :(( so if you get the chance i deeply implore you. beg borrow or steal a ticket just get there! best comet production ever in my biased opinion :)

[skyyknights]

biggest thoughts on skyward sword link?

aight. get ready. because I have many thoughts about him.

So, first off, yes, he is a silly sleepy doofus of a sky boy who is extremely soft and adorable and deserves everything. But, while that take is 100% correct and should not be overlooked, he is also a feral rabid gremlin who can and will tear your face off with his bare hands if the need arises (such as if you threaten Zelda).

(I mean. there's your proof right there...)

Now, a lot of people think that Link from Breath of the Wild is the strongest/toughest/etc.

Politely, I disagree.

So then who is the strongest? None other than Sky Link.

Let's start with the basics. He might not have been raised on a farm or in service as a knight for the royal family, but at the same time, he's attended an academy specifically for training knights his entire life. At the start of the game he can lift and throw massive barrels, is stated and shown to be an excellent climber, is a natural at Loftwing flying and at catching Zelda when she throws herself off of Skyloft, and is already excellent with a blade. Later on he can lift and throw small boulders, and push large wooden crates and metal carts.

But like I said, that's just the basics.

Sky Link also fights/defeats the Imprisoned and Ghirahim three times. Both grow stronger with each battle, but he defeats them nonetheless. Ghirahim at first sees him as just a silly little child who can't possibly defeat him; he quickly learns Link is anything but that and in all three of his fights becomes so humiliated that he rages at Link and on two occasions leaves instead of allowing himself to be defeated further. "You think I can't defeat you? You think I can't win? What are you, boy?" he asks in the final fight. He's afraid of Link, because Link is too powerful for him. He's the silly soft sky child, but three times now he has claimed victory over the Demon King's right hand man.

Then there's the Silent Realms, of which Link goes through four. Each one becomes increasingly more difficult and dangerous, and yet he completes all of them. Not only that, but he finds each Sacred Flame required to strengthen Fi and ends up forging the true Master Sword. He also earns and wields the full Triforce, which only a tiny handful of other Links have done. He also survives getting crushed by boulders on numerous occasions and is imprisoned (probably with a concussion) but escapes; battles a massive army of Moblins, Stalfos, and Bokoblins; and with each Silent Realm, his spirit grows, signifying he is not only strong physically, but mentally.

Anything I'm forgetting, besides the fact that Hylia specifically chose him to be her hero and defeat-

Oh yeah.

Demise.

Yup, in case anyone forgot, Sky Link kills Demise, the literal embodiment of evil itself, the original villain from whom Ganondorf comes. Demise is the most powerful enemy in LoZ who not only destroyed Hylia, but nearly all of the Surface as well; according to him, humans cower and quake upon seeing him; none but Link have ever dared to even consider standing up to him. Fighting Link, to Demise, is a casual, lighthearted ordeal where he believes he can take it easy before going off and destroying the world.

But yeah, that doesn't quite happen.

In the end, Link defeats Demise utterly on a battlefield of water and lightning, charging his own blade with it and striking the killing blow. Demise perishes and is absorbed into the Master Sword, directly after threatening that his hate, never perishing, will follow Link and Zelda throughout time.

And there you have it. Sky has just defeated the original incarnation of a cycle of endless hatred.

(while looking like this 90% of the time. he is babey. but stronk and dangerous babey who could kill u with a look).

[shyphonics]

Salad Days - Chapter 1: I Against I Against I Against I

Rodrick Heffley x Reader

Baby-Punk AU ✨ (part 2 here!)

No use of y/n, no physical description of reader, fem pronouns

Put yourself in the shoes of a snarky, hyper-competent punk bartender with a tragic backstory (but it's totally not a big deal! Who needs therapy?? lol lmao 🤪)

Some loser from the ‘burbs comes into your bar, and against your better judgement, you decide to show him the ropes of the scene. Even though his band name totally sucks.

Rodrick is kind of a sad, insecure boy in this. He's on bad terms with everyone back home, and absolutely refuses to fully acknowledge it. He refuses to acknowledge any of his emotions. And his quickly growing crush on his new bartender friend…

Also it's 2005 because I say so. Flip phones and email babey B)

Lightly angsty. Lightly based on my own experiences bullshitting my way into the bar scene. Lightly based on my hyperfixation on punk history lol.

Songs for this chapter:

(I haven't written anything in YEARS so I'm sorry if this is bad lol. part 2 and 3 are almost finished oops so let me know if you like it)

/////

In a quest for the test to fulfill an achievement

Everybody's only going to pursue themselves

When the fact of the matter is they just don't care

To extend a helping hand to anyone else

“What the fuck are you doing?”

The kid turns around. He looks like a wet rat. His facial expression says he knows he’s in trouble. He's tall and kinda goofy-looking. His dark hair is messy, and his eyes are overlined in black.

“Uh, hi. I'm Rodrick. I'm in a band, I uh, I wanna play a show?” He squeaks out, waving a barely legible flier in the air.

“Have you been in touch with Mike?”

“Mike?”

“You gotta get in touch with Mike.” you cross your arms and lean against the doorframe, one foot kicked over the other.

He stares at you, guilty and confused. Your expression is throwing him off. Raised eyebrow, pursed lips. It’s the face of a disappointed mom, but you’re… young. And pretty?

“Do you want the email, or what?”

You break his thoughts.

“Yes! Email. Mike.”

You retreat to the office, rifling through papers until you retrieve a business card.

“Mike Morello. By the way, you might wanna change that band name.”

He looks at his flier, “Why? What's wrong with it?”

You look at him for a while, raising your eyebrows higher and higher, as high as you can, until he’s frustrated. His lanky figure is bouncing all over the hallway. Like a dog who needs to go outside. A big, dumb dog. You look at him in true disbelief. You can’t believe he doesn’t know. He has to know.

“What? What?! Stop looking at me like that!” His eyes are wide and frantic, begging you to say something.

“It sucks!” you laugh.

“It does not suck!”

“Dude, it totally sucks. It's gross. What kind of music do you even play?”

“Fucking rock n roll, baby!” He’s pissed off. It’s hilarious.

“Uh huh. And what are your influences?”

“Influences?”

“Influences. Motives. Backstory.” You clutch your hand into a self-important fist.

“What's with all the questions?” He nearly screeches.

“I'm preparing you for Mike. He's a cynical old fart who's mentally still in late 70s San Francisco. You need to impress him, get a good story going. He's not gonna put some suburban garage band up there.”

He frowns. That's exactly what they are…

“I-” he starts.

“That's exactly what you are, yeah. I know.” You smile, “I can smell suburbs, dude. You'll figure it out.”

“Can I have your email? Or y'know, your phone number or something?” he looks nervous, “Just for, like, advice.”

You cock an eyebrow, think for a minute, then grab a sticky note. It’s surprising after how riled up you got him, but boys are weird.

“Number’s too risky. What if you're a weirdo or something? Here’s my email.” you finish scribbling down the address and extend your hand.

“Cool. I’ll use it.” He nods, taking it from you very delicately. Weirdly careful not to touch your hand. Again, boys are weird.

“…cool. See you around. Maybe. Diaper boy.” you smirk.

Before he can retort, you shut yourself in the office. He stands there for a while, trying to think of something to say back, but nothing comes to him.

~

I am a patient boy

I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait

My time’s water down a drain

Everybody's moving

Everybody's moving

Everybody's moving, moving, moving, moving

“I think she’s saying we need, like, punk cred. It’s a punk bar, after all.” Rodrick leans back on their crappy couch. It was free on the side of the road when they were moving in.

“Pshh, we are so punk!” Chris chimes in. “Ward has a shaved head!”

He points at Ward's head. Ward crosses his arms and nods approvingly.

“She knew I was from the suburbs just by looking at me.” He puts his head in his hands.

“So what are you gonna say to the guy?” Ben asks.

“I dunno, I kinda wanna email the girl first and ask for advice.” Rodrick mumbles.

“Oh, sure. Advice.” Ben rolls his eyes.

“Yes! Just advice!”

“Is she hot?” Ward giggles.

Silence falls upon the room.

“Whatever! What are our influences? Punk influences!”

“Dude, you're, like, totally wearing a Dead Kennedys shirt!” Chris pipes up.

“Okay, yeah, I like Dead Kennedys.” Rodricks sighs, relieved. He knows ‘Police Truck’. Who doesn’t? It was in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater for fuck’s sake!

“Okay! Uhh, shit, what else did she say… motive!”

“Dude, what?” Ben's eyes go wide, “Like murder?”

“No, dumbass, like why did we start the band?” Ward tosses a crushed beer can at him.

“To get girls? To, uhhh…” Chris trails off.

“To rock and roll! To tell everyone to fuck off and prove them all wrong!” Rodrick yells.

The rest of the guys give a resounding yeah! and raise their beers.

Rodrick opens his laptop, making a big show of stretching his hands. He’s gonna write a masterpiece. Löded Diper is gonna take over this town.

He starts typing furiously, ignoring all the little red squiggles appearing among his words. It doesn't take him long to slow down, though, and he gives up and passes the laptop to Ben. Rodrick’s mind is cloudy. He’s thinking about that girl at the bar. You’d been so… mean. But not? Did you like him? He doesn’t get it.

Heather Hills had made it incredibly clear she did not like him. In fact, she hates him.

He remembers the last day of senior year. He’d handed her a Löded Diper CD, masterfully engineered by the man himself in GarageBand, and asked her to sign his yearbook.

Are you being serious right now? You still owe me for my ice sculpture, pleb!

Oh, uh, right, he’d replied, how much is that again?

Four. Thousand. Dollars. And you’ll never make that much in your life, freak.

He grimaces as the memory infects his brain. Four thousand seemed like a lot for just some ice. He remembers fantasizing, though, about getting signed and nailing down a solid deal. Reimbursing Heather for the sculpture and so much more. Maybe she’d marry him. Hot rockstar with a hot, blonde trophy wife. That had been the dream. Until…

Well. Don’t focus on the past. The past sucks. The future is now.

“Rodrick!” Ben’s hand shakes his shoulder.

“Sorry. Um. I don’t know. I think it’s pretty good!”

Between the bones he had put down, and some additions from the guys, they have what they think is a pretty kickass email.

Rodrick’s mind is still elsewhere, though. The thoughts of Heather had kind of messed with him, and now he’s just thinking about home. He hadn't left on great terms. He really wishes everything could be better. The only support system he has is the band, but they don't talk about that kind of stuff. Not more than once in a blue moon.

He’s where he wants to be and everything. He's living his dream. But something still feels wrong. He feels a little empty.

Your emotions make you a monster

Your emotions make you a monster

Your emotions make you a monster

Your emotions make you a monster