#Kinder children

[rivetgoth]

It's honestly crazy that discussion around testosterone HRT skews so much towards the beginning stages of it (to the point that you have dozens of guys thinking their transition is "failed" if they don't pass by like a year in lol) and what the initial changes of the first couple of months to years look like, like the classic laundry list of those early basic changes like bottom growth, voice drop, etc, when IMO literally none of that compares remotely to the depth and intensity of the long term total masculinization you start to experience like 3-5+ years in.

[daredevil-vagabond]

I'm only human, I come with knives (and agony)

[semioticapocalypse]

Flor Garduño. Melancolía. USA. 2018

I Am Collective Memories   •    Follow me, — says Visual Ratatosk

[takethelx3]

They're at a cafe on a rainy day bc.. I want to sit at a cafe w someone and just vibe tgt

[thefugitivesaint]

Rolf Winkler (1884-1942), ''Der Kinder Wundergarten'' by Friedrich Hofmann, no date Source

[the-artist-grimm]

one thing im very complexed about is what were baal and ayms rection to narinder after getting resurected. surely they would feel a lot of anger towards him because of what he did.

When Aym and Baal are revived they’re more concerned for Narinder than anything else. Like how can their master, their father go from agonizing for MONTHS over ways to spare the lamb, to in the span of a single week telling them he’s found a way but not elaborating, looking completely heartbroken the next few days after, then when the day of reckoning finally comes telling the lamb in this muted, emotionless tone to sacrifice themselves out of the blue? It didn’t make sense. 

While Aym and Baal are 11 year old kids but they’re not stupid-they know this isn’t how their father usually acts, and something’s wrong. It's why they intentionally get hurt (and accidentally) die fighting Anthea, they're trying to snap him out of it since they didn't know what else to do since he didn't want to talk.

From there it takes 4 months to revive the twins-during that time their souls are trapped inside the gateway by the remains of Narinder's metaphysical chain. Not quite awake, but not quite asleep either-only able to tell they were alone until the voices of their parents wake them up before being yanked into the mortal realm. They’re scared, they’re shaken, they put brave faces on while dying yeah but they can feel the phantom of blade and mana caught in their flesh all over again, but their twin is beside them, and before they know it their Baba has them in their embrace wailing, yet their father is nowhere to be seen. 

Cue them being seemingly ok-ish (read: in shock) while being fussed over by Anthea for the rest of the day (given warm meals, constant hugs and kisses to the head, warm bubbly baths then a long brushing, soft nightgowns that smell like lanolin, all while their comfort kitten plushies they'd given the lamb a day prior to the betrayal in preparation for the 'move' have been returned to their arms), and while they keep asking what happened, the Lamb doesn’t know how to answer them anymore. A month before they would've said Narinder betrayed them all, but they're no longer sure anymore.

(Narinder betrayed them. He betrayed them, but then why did he help them with the resurrection? Why did he stabilize them as they struggled to break the chain, why did he lose sleep the whole week leading up just to help? Following their every word, their every order perfectly, never getting upset when they got snappy?  Why did he the leave the chapel without greeting the boys he mourned over. Why hasn't he tried to take back the crown since his arrival? Why isn’t he fighting them, angry, bitter, anything? Why is he making it so hard to hate and ignore him?)

Anthea eventually has to take the twins over to Narinder later that night since the nightmares are setting in now that the shock's worn off and they both wake up crying for him (they can’t remember the 4 months but that isolation left both with intense separation anxiety from both each other and their parents, and not having seen Narinder was really messing with them), and while that first reunion is them just launching themselves at him to cling to his nightshirt crying, followed by them then refusing to let Anthea leave either and thus both parents are stuck trying to get the boys to fall asleep in Narinder’s room, come morning they’ve calmed down enough that Anthea can leave to do cult things and they can question their father.

They just want to know what happened, and is he ok-he scared them by acting so strange and they're worried. Which kinda breaks Narinder a little because he left the chapel expecting that they hated him. That they wouldn’t want to see him since he betrayed Anthea, is the reason they died, and that their Baba deserved them more than him but here they are worried for him, and it’s the first time in months someone’s said they’re worried about him and he actually believes it. So he tells them everything.

He heard something he wasn't meant to hear, took it out of context, and in his fear over being betrayed again made a mistake. A mistake he thinks he can NEVER fix, and was a mistake he thinks he should NEVER be forgiven for. 

(He didn't trust them. Why didn't he trust them? The Lamb was his friend why would they ever betray him he's terrible Shamura was right to 'hate' him why can't everyone just abandon him already he doesn't understand-)

He thinks that’ll do it, but rather than the twins getting mad, it just clears up what they had already assumed-that something went wrong, and their dad thought he had no choice. They're not angry because he made a mistake since why should they? That just means he has to apologize.

It's that childishly innocent idea that all mistakes can be fixed by talking things out, and while it's more complicated than that, it does hold weight. Aym and Baal are the breaking of the cycle of hiding your emotions, hiding your pain, assuming the worst and self-loathing and destroying yourself as a result. The cycle of not talking to the people in your life and just letting things boil over. Narinder may have held back in some ways when raising them by not telling them to call him ‘dad’, but he raised them as he wished he’d been-teaching the twins that it’s ok to be hurt, scared, to make mistakes, and that they can go to him for anything and he won’t get mad. Anthea’s presence reinforced that-that you gotta talk to people when something’s wrong or else they can’t help. 

The boys are very empathetic and emotionally aware, and thus if they can make mistakes and fix things, why can’t the adults? So no they're not mad at Narinder, they just don't understand why he thinks it's not worth trying to make amends.

[anistarrose]

You have to stop fighting over which of the perfectly reasonable candidates should take in the sweet parentless child at the end of the story. I'm very sorry, but it's killing me personally. Physically. I have a very rare condition.

When you point at two-plus characters who'd absolutely be willing co-parent, yet you act as though they're incompatible a priori because they're not romantically involved or anything, it shaves another day off the end of my life, and yes the pain is agonizing. You don't wanna do that to me, right? I'm just a little guy! Who happens to think nuclear family is overrated — but you don't wanna put me in an early grave, right?

You don't want me to crumble into dust, right? And blow away in the hot air from arguments about why THIS monogamous couple are [Character's] true parents, unlike that couple's friends who would totally co-parent with them, no questions asked? You don't want me to perish from second-hand stress, after hearing people say that single parent doesn't get to have a community of anyone who's equally important in their child's life!

Oh, just thinking about it makes me feel old and weary. I require an immediate transfusion — of friends co-parenting, of siblings co-parenting! Or polyamorous partners co-parenting, or queerplatonic partners co-parenting, I'm not picky! A found family themselves co-parenting, or even a community co-parenting, gosh that's a novel one! Just stick it right in my arm, doc. Thanks for all that you do. I will leave this mortal coil if that child has any less than four parents bare minimum.

[artfilmfan]

Christiane F. (Uli Edel, 1981)

[chocochococoffee]

small headcanon time

a small unnamed tomb emerges alongside the rest of beloved named ones in cang qiong. no one knows who made it, no one knows whose body is in there. the only two people seen praying to it couldn't be more different.

one of them is shang qinghua, who more than pray he prefers to look at it. he doesnt talk, most of the times he pours it baijiu or just eye it intensely.

the other person who has been seen praying to it is yue qingyuan, who, in comparison, prays intensely, reciting sutras sometimes. he cries and touches it and kneels and suffers until he has no more tears.

they dont visit often. they sometimes are seen together at it.

when shen qingqiu asked qinghua over the meaning of that tomb, qinghua just shrugs and says "it has no name bro, could be whoever you want to"

[lillithsalvatore]

DAMIAN HARDUNG as PETER KLETTMANN (YOUNG)

🎬 Yesterday We Were Still Children | Ep: 02

GIF DISCLAIMER ── lillithsalvatore © 2024.

[hchildren]

Studio portrait of Helga, Hilde, Helmut, Holde and Hedda Goebbels. The photograph was probably taken in 1940, in Berlin Wannsee.

The back is written by Magda herself, with best wishes for Christmas and the upcoming year in her name and in the name of "Helga, Hilde, Hellmut, Holde, Hedda and little Heide".

It strikes me how Magda writes Helmut's name. In fact, every time I have read his name written by her, she spells it "Hellmut".

The fact that the image depicts the 5 eldest children and "little Heide" is mentioned on the back, makes me think the photograph was probably taken during 1940, before Heide's birth, and it was used as a New Year 1940-1941 card.

source: Giel's militaria

[floral-art-prints]

Gathering Wild Flowers by Philip Richard Morris(Undated, oil on card)

[semioticapocalypse]

Helen Levitt. Harlem Boys with a black cat. New York. 1940

Follow my new AI-related project «Collective memories»

[beckinferno]

December 2023

Three (!!) years since I saw Christiane F for the first time. Let's just say that the movie changed my brain chemistry forever.

The movie, the book and the TV show all means a lot to me, and it's one of my biggest hyperfixations ever. The way I got to see certain locations in Berlin back in 2022 was so cool.

I'll never forget about Christiane, Detlef, Axel, Babsi, Stella, Atze, or anyone else. <3

[lepetitdragonvert]

Das macht Spaß von Franz Mahler

1907

Artist : Otto Gebhardt

[powerlineprincess]

Christiane F./Wir Kinder Vom Bahnof Zoo, 1981