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straighttohellbuddy · 3 years ago

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📓 !!

Okay im so excited please know I think about How The Light Gets In's world every day still, and so anyways here is a side story I want to write but there's a lot of set up regarding the reader and eef becoming friends again. For context, they were incredibly close around 2014-2017, but people were getting creepy and invasive and demanding about their friendship (think 2012 toxic side of the Phandom, if that makes sense), and a lot of the reader's relationships were strained at that time because while they had been successful before, they were absolutely blowing up after their first album released and they became far more mainstream. They felt like they were bothering the people they had become closest to, both because they're worried that they're a bother, and because gossip rags and paps would harrass their friends looking for a scoop, and so they ended up just completely cutting off contact without warning one day right before they went on their first tour. the start of HTLGI is about 3 years since they'd been in proper contact with any of the creators they were close to at that time.

DON'T LOOK AT ME on their 2017 ep Hyperfocus was a more general song in response to everything that had been happening in their life around that time, with a focus on how they stop associating with anyone for a while, without outright addressing it, but on their latest album n o s t a l g i a, read at 5am ft. Troye was specifically written at the start of quarantine, when the reader was getting back into YouTube, about their feelings regarding how their friendship with ethan ended, as they spent a lot of this time looking back of their YouTube career, and he was the person they were closest to for a very long time, before they iced everyone out.

OKAY SO THERES MORE OF THE BACKGROUND OF THE WHOLE FIC AND THE READER BUT

Werewolf Ethan & Mark. I'm sorry I don't make the rules. They have golden retriever energy you cannot change my mind. But also because this is the HTLGI you know that supernatural characteristics are able to be activated rather than just triggered by the full moon. What I'm trying to say is since this is set in the year of Unus Annus, they film a video together that's like, you know that show where a person has to try and outwit a professional tracker? Except its the reader being tracked by two werewolves at night in a national park. Reader is wearing some sort of night vision camera on themselves so whenever it cuts to them the audience can't actually see how they're using their powers, if that makes sense.

Also the reader agreed to this knowing it would probably be when they ended up telling Mark and Ethan about them being a demon.

Video is titled Hunting Down An Old Friend

A few Moments that the boys edit out:

The reader using their stupidly sharp prehensile tail to swing from tree branches, though they leave in shots where the reader's tail can't be seen.

Knowing that with the werewolves having advanced hearing, the reader would give themselves away by talking to the camera, they take a few minutes having flown up to a high tree branch, to pull out a notebook and do a little sketch of how Mark and Ethan appear in their Demon True Sight, and holding it up to their camera.

Werewolves being one of the animals who can kind of sense demons without being able to identify them, essentially like dogs can sense natural disasters and are often good judges of character, this can be heightened on command for werewolves. There's about 15 minutes of footage cut out of the boys discussing or mentioning how this place has awful vibes and that they should have done this during the day. It gets worse as they get closer to the reader, who didn't realise that the boys hadn't thought to ever use that particular power around them before.

("I say this with so much love and appreciation for you, dude," Ethan yells, looking up at you from the base of the tree they'd finally found you in, "but I- this is making me anxious I feel like something terrible's gonna happen, and we should probably get out of here and film the rest of the video back at Mark's." And behind him, Mark's nodding, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, eyes scanning the trees for whatever was most likely the cause of this terrible impending doom.

Oh. It's you. And they don't know its you.

Now or never, you suppose.

"Can you cut the cameras for a second? You're going to be fine I promise," you called back, and though they obligingly did, they both seemed antsy. You cleared your throat awkwardly, "that... that terrible feeling, that's not the park or anything in it- well I mean, it is, but it's just- it's me."

and later

"Dude your wings smell like rotten eggs."

"To YOU Ethan! And no they don't!"

"If it makes you feel better they smell like burning and rotten eggs."

"It does not."

(for reference, when enhancing their sense of smell werewolves can kind of distinguish various supernatural creatures, or parts of supernatural creatures. Some creatures have an inherent scent, but some, like angels and demons, only have distinct scents when they've activated certain attributesor abilities; demon wings smell like fire and brimstone, which unfortunately means burning and rotten eggs. I like to think angels wings are like the love potion in Harry Potter that smells like the things you love the most. Mark and Ethan usually don't enhance it around each other because they smell like wet dog to the other)

This gets about 2k notes on tumblr. The reader likes it:

Ethan finally finding Y/N at the end of Hunting Down An Old Friend (2020) Colourised.

Other things to note regarding all this:

It takes a while to rebuild their friendship to the point where they're comfortable enough to be on camera together (eef and reader specifically).

However, the Unus Annus video is the first thing they properly do together, and the reader, in an effort to connect more and make up for the past, will join in multiplayer gaming streams if asked.

Impromptu duet in proximity Among Us of Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy, which has their respective chats and fandoms losing their minds, except it stops abruptly after the first chorus as they both remember the opening lines of the second verse (make it easy, say I never mattered -- those lyrics hit a little too close to home)

But also the reader convinces him to join him for a proper cover in like, February of 2021, and it's something deeply sappy (I'm thinking Bon Iver by mxmtoon because I think its sweet and fits them well)

Also Ethan being reminded that the reader is kind of a much bigger deal than when they'd been friends before.

designed to hurt (touch me) from their ep Working On It is nominated for a Grammy for Track of the Year, and n o s t a l g i a wins Best Pop Album (because it's my fic and I said so)

FIRST OF ALL designed to hurt (touch me) is a beautifully produced song about Corpse (which people do not know) and the title itself is literally making fun of something he said IMAGINE his reaction to it being Grammy Nominated 😂😂😂 God he'd be proud but lowkey fuming, meanwhile the moment the nominations are announced the reader tweets:

me: here is an album where I processed my entire world view including heartfelt explorations of the trauma of existing and oversharing in the public eye from a young age without the traditional barrier between audience and entertainer

the grammys: that's cute BUT you know the song you wrote to bully your boyfriend and also be horny on main for him before you guys were even dating? THAT deserves its own recognition.

meanwhile Ethan's like..... this is the same person who I filmed a video with playing cards against humanity, and you laughed so hard you almost threw up. I am very proud but deeply confused.

The Hot Meme of Late April 2021 is "2 time Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N" with a gif, still, or quote from the reader where they're just being an absolute chaos gremlin.

Of course we have "If I bleached my asshole for charity I'd do it tastefully."

2 Time Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N speaking to their actual boyfriend in the year of our lord 2020: You are being executed for Clown Crimes.

ethan posts a short video to twitter simply of his screen where he's renaming a folder from "Never Before Seen Images of Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N" simply changing it to 2 time Artist. The reader responds specifically to his tweet with a video of themselves asking Google how to hard reset someone else's computer.

So many screenshots from old videos surface that week.

I miss this world. Sorry this is rambly!!

#shut ur pretty mouth #how the light gets in #corpse husband x reader #your local homosexual with no chill #htlgi

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1ddotdhq · 4 years ago

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🧙‍♂️ Wed Sept 23 ‘20 🦁

Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 HOLY SHIT Z3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, I’m not certain about an album, but we’re definitely getting a single on Friday! I’m just keeping my hopes up! Um, okay. How do I start? So at 9:30 am EST (or 2:30 pm BST, depending on where in the world he is!) Zayn dropped a teaser trailer for a new song, with the caption #better, which is the name of the song! This follows last night's movement, where he changed his Spotify header, as well as his twitter icon. I’m gonna be honest here: when I saw his new twitter profile picture, I thought it was a picture of Liam and I was SO! CONFUSED! But it’s not! It’s Zayn pulling an angsty face that Liam often pulls in HIS modeling gigs, so it looks like they have a similar bag of tricks haha! ANYWAYS, the song will drop on Friday, 9/25!!! Place your bets: will the song or the baby drop first???

If THAT wasn’t enough Zayn movement, he posted a SPONSORED AD for the new Harry Potter game both on Instagram AND on twitter (both at 7 am EST), and then he did a taped ad for it, too! It...looks to be some wizarding version of Candy Crush, but you know nerd!Zayn and his Harry Potter tattoo - he only had good things to say about it: “[During quarantine] I’ve been doing...music, recording, painting, but my main pastimes has been playing games, and that’s how, like, I keep in touch with my friends...you get to choose which House you want to be put in. I picked Gryffindor...so yeah, it’s really cool.” He says he likes Gryffindor because he’s always been drawn to “the hero types”. Sounds like the start of a bad rom com, doesn’t it?

Anyways! Zayn’s not the only one that has spent his quarantine making music, painting, and gaming: LIAM went live at 8 am BST to do his promised zoom meetings with fans and announce that his rewatch show is on Saturday the 26th at 8 am BST. Oddly enough, Harry Potter (and the new game!) was a major talking point in this live. Before we get further into the discussion, the Intern would like to say that JKR is a massive TERF and I think we should be reading queer fantasy novels and uplifting the queer community rather than focusing on her worlds/making he more profit, but that discourse didn’t come up in Liam’s live, funnily enough! What did come up? Well...the online games did! Someone in the chat said: “What’s your Hogwarts House?” and Liam (love him lots) took that as an invitation to talk about the new Harry Potter games: “I’ve done a lot of those online...like, online Harry Potter games (so has Zayn!), and I always end up in either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, but no one wants to be in Hufflepuff...I want to be a lion”. And then - and I cannot make this up - he GROWLED. Those hero types, huh? Can’t do a thing about them! He also suggested that he do a Harry Potter watch along in his next live, and guys, it takes me long enough to get through his lives taking notes NOW, MY HANDS WILL NOT SURVIVE A TWO HOUR LIVE.

Other fun moments from the live show included his reveal (slip?) that he did not live with Maya! When asked what his morning routine was, he said it was “to get up in the biggest mood ever and then hope he has an hour to himself before he sees anyone”. But? That would almost CERTAINLY not be the case if you had a live in girlfriend! He also gave a brief reaction to Harry’s Calm story, and had a bant with Conor (his cameraman) about it (“Imagine you’re in the tour bus,” Conor said. “Shut UP! You’re RuInINg it for ME.”). Also, the chat told Liam to tell Niall to “strip that down”, to which Liam replied: “Niall’s been stripping it down a lot at the moment! he’s been stripping it down a lot! I’ve seen his Instagram stories, and I know it’s hot at the moment but the shirt has been off 24/7, which used to be my tactic.” Niall, even LIAM wants you to put a shirt on, buddy, so idk what to tell you. He also said, about Bear, that “he’s fantastic! [He’s] a sweet, lovely little boy, and I don’t know how that happened, given that he’s my son. Must get it from his mother ‘cuz it’s not from me!” He mentioned - again - doing a paint along with fans, as he’s ALSO been doing a lot of painting during quarantine. What do you think I would have to do for a joint Ziam paint along live? And he was unsure if “te amo” was a real thing in Spanish. Yes, Liam, it is, y te amo a ti también!!

And, if that were a normal day, that would be it! That’s more than enough after all, but NOPE! No rest for the wicked, I guess, so on we go:

Harry was seen shooting his music video in Italy in a white V-neck nightshirt that could be seen billowing in the wind as he ran dramatically. New pictures also show him in a long purple nightgown and a fedora, as well as driving a little speedboat (with a bright, Vespa blue interior) off of the Italian coast. As far as I can tell, his rings are not back (probably a smart choice, given the amount of handwashing he’s hopefully doing) but his pearl necklace is (love to see it!). In one of the boat pictures, he can be seen on his phone, either taking a picture or on a facetime call, but I, personally, hope he brings photographer!H back, too! Gotta tell you, and I know we said it for Watermelon Sugar, but I really hope this is a continuation of the Eroda universe - any comments @/visiteroda? Fan reports say that his Italian is very good, and that he’s kind. Nothing new there, but always great to hear it!

AND! In a ONE DEE DISCOURSE EXCLUSIVE: I can reveal ~exclusively~ that Nick Gordon, of yesterday’s clown car, has a TWIN BROTHER, named Nathan! Good bye Gretchen, Tina, and Eleanor and HELLO Nathan and Nick. Imagine the shenanigans that they can pull with THIS in their back pocket! The thing is - the more we learn about the situation, the less we seem to know - TMZ reports that Nick and Briana have had an on again off again relationship for the last ten years, but Nick Gordon has had a long term girlfriend for at least three of those ten years, until they broke it off last year! In fact, TMZ continued in a bemused tone, BRIANA has been seen with multiple men over the course of the last year. Guess they were VERY off, huh?

#zayn malik #liam payne #harry styles #briana #nick gordon #and the rest of the clown car #also louis' merch is restocked!!!#i gave in and bought some its soooo cool!!#my hogwarts house is Gryffindor #if that comes as a surprise to anyone #ERODA VERSE ERODA VERSE ERODA VERSE #song of the day!#all my heroes by bleachers

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hot-tea-gardenparty · 4 years ago

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After this past week’s incredible episode (15.18) and the Destiel canon reveal, my imagination was having a damn field day with how many ways the story could go in the finale. I have so many ideas and have been speculating so much (and literally have no one to physically talk to about it in my real life) that I just had to get them down and share them with you all.

Just a quick note before you read on:

I am definitely not saying any of the following ideas will actually come to fruition during the last two episodes of Supernatural Season 15. This is being posted just for fun and not to be taken as serious spec or meta. If you’d like to read serious meta there are so many other wonderfully detailed and thoroughly researched metas, specs or deep-dives out there by incredibly talented and intelligent fans like @verobatto-angelxhunter, @amwritingmeta and @wigglebox. So please go check those blogs out if you are in need of something a little more cohesive and less....flail-y and fangirl-y.

With that said....let’s get on to the fun stuff....what I’d like to see or what I think we might see happen during the finale of Supernatural!

I would love Castiel coming to save the day somehow. He doesn’t need to be the final source that brings down Chuck, as I think that would be best saved for the Winchester brothers (since they have been the main target for the pain and control under Chuck.) What I mean is that I want Castiel to serve SOME important purpose, whether that be him bringing the angels back with him from the Empty (either to fight Chuck or just near the very end as a saving heaven move) or him helping turn the Empty against Chuck so that the Empty aids in lowering Chuck’s ability to fight back. OR….and this is my favorite idea, that Castiel’s positive influence over Dean, the love Cas has shown the Winchester brothers, the intense faith he had in the power of love….makes Dean and Sam fight Chuck not with intense anger and confusion, but with a realized faith in themselves, their abilities and their trust in each other.

My personal feelings on Cas’ return will be that his rescue will take place in the finale episode or (less possibly) during the final half of 15.19. It should at least be set up by the end minutes of 15.19 and hopefully set in motion by Dean, knowing he can get Castiel out of the Empty because he is DEAN FUCKING WINCHESTER AND HE LOVES HIS ANGEL SO HE IS GONNA RESCUE HIM GOD-DAMMIT. It is also my belief that Jack will be the one with the ability to “open” or “get access to” the Empty for Dean to go in and get the love of his life back.

I see all the people who “poofed” away in 15.18 coming back once Chuck is gone….it may not be that easy but I can’t expect it to be too difficult (because we only have two eps left). Sam will get Eileen back by the end of 15.19 or the beginning of 15.20 before Dean gets Cas back because Chuck will be defeated before Cas can return.

Castiel’s rescue will take place in the finale. Like I said above, I think the set up for the rescue will take place at the end of 15.19 and the actual rescue will be the finale episode. Or at least that would be my ideal pacing of the events. I want an entire episode (or at least the most of one) focused on Dean’s intent to get Castiel back. I also want Sam and Jack specifically focused on getting Cas back as well. Castiel means just as much to them as a father and friend for them to leave the rescuing up to Dean. Jack will do the ‘waking-up’ of Castiel just like before. Jack will open the, proverbial, door to the Empty for Dean to walk through. I keep flip flopping on if I think Sam would be there in the Empty too or not….there are pros and cons either way. I am more leaning on the side of no Sam, in this particular situation since I am a Destiel clown and just want Castiel to hear from Dean how much he is loved and wanted. Castiel can always hear about how much he is loved by Sam and Jack a little later.

My imagination sees Dean end up in the black void of the Empty and he sees nothing for a minute, until the Empty entity shows up (maybe wearing Dean’s face?) and they have a tense discussion about Castiel and letting him go. I do not think the Empty will ‘die’ or disappear. The Empty will remain. So with that in mind….is it just intimidation Dean would use to get past the entity (possibly using Jack as the powerful being on their side) or would it be more of a ‘hey you can go back to sleep and everything will go back to normal’ kind of persuasion? I am leaning towards the second option….but again that’s just my own ideal path the story could go down.

Once the Empty entity is dealt with…Dean finds Castiel. How this happens, I literally can’t fathom. I am still a little at a loss of how the Empty truly works, so I am not sure if Dean could ‘walk around to find him’ as it were…or if Castiel could just be manifested in front of him….*shrugs* BUT if I had my way, I would love for Dean to have to call out to Cas somehow to find him. What I mean is that I would love to have Dean need to pray for Cas to return to him or for their profound bound to bring them naturally together (like it did in Purgatory earlier in the season). Like Dean could just think of how much he loves Cas and needs Cas and then suddenly…out of the ether…. manifesting and slowly walking towards him, is Castiel.

Castiel will not believe Dean is there, he will believe the Empty is taunting him again. Dean has to convince Cas that it is truly him…that he is here to rescue him. What I would love to hear from Dean would be something like this (I apologize for the following horribly corny dialogue, this is a quick run-through, not meant to be taken super seriously):

Dean: It’s me, Cas. It’s really me. I’m here to take you back. You need to be with us, with Sam, with Jack…..with me. You’re family, Cas. You’re my family.

Cas: Dean, I can’t leave. The Empty….

Dean: I’ve dealt with the Empty.

Cas: Dealt with the Empty…? Dean how….?

Dean: Cas, please. Please, I…I don’t know if I can do this without you.

Cas: Do what…?

Dean: I don’t think I can do….life…without you….because I love you too, Cas. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to say it but I do. I love you. I’ve known I loved you for years, I just never had the balls to admit it. You’ve seen me at my worst, over and over again and yet you never left me. You’ve put your ass on the line for me and Sam more times than we can even count. You were always the one with free will. The most out of all of us. You saved us, Cas. You saved the world. You saved me.

DEAN PUTS OUT HIS HAND, PALM UP.

CAS TAKES HIS HAND, DEAN PULLING CAS IN CLOSE, A HAND AROUND THE BACK OF CAS’ NECK.

DEAN KISSES CAS.

Dean: So, I am here to grip you tight and bring you home.

Now this piece is just 100% my own selfish desire: It would be great if somewhere in the whole, Cas-leaving-the-Empty rescue that Cas must chose to become human. The Empty will tell Dean that sure, Cas can leave, but he cannot leave if he is still an angel….he needs to lose his grace. (Honestly, I just really want a human Cas by the end of the show…it just seems like that would be a wonderful full-circle way of wrapping up his story…choosing to live within the humanity he so loves.)

Okay on to the final scenes…..like I am talking the very final scenes, right before we cut to the black THE END title card.

I would love a final scene that involves Dean and Sam sitting on the hood of the Impala, discussing what they will do for the rest of their lives now that they are fully free of Chuck’s grasp. They are at a rocky beach (something like Oregon’s coastline) and the sky is clear and sun glints off of Baby’s shiny black paint. It’s about a week after defeating Chuck and getting Cas back. Dean asks Sam if he’s talked with Eileen at all. Sam will reply that they’ve been talking about getting together at her house for a few days, to get to know each other better. Dean will chuckle, make a joke about Sam’s sex life, but Sam will immediately get serious and ask if Dean will be okay with that plan. Will Dean be okay in the absence of his brother? Dean will think for a second…his eyes wandering off to where, off in the near distance, Castiel and Jack are out on the sandy part of the beach, smiles on both their faces as they have a conversation. Castiel is more relaxed than Dean’s seen in a long while, his trench coat, suit jacket and blue tie all abandoned in the trunk of the car….his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his hair a mess from the wind. Dean will smile and reply, eyes not leaving Castiel down on the beach, “Yeah, I think I’ll be just fine.”

Or ya-know....something like that.

Anyways….those are the ideas floating around in my head. Again, DO NOT take any of these as serious spec on the finale, I am honestly just having some fun imagining all the different scenarios that could happen.

Let me know your ideas for the finale if you’d like as well! I’d love to hear them and what you think would be the perfect ending to Supernatural.

#destiel #spn spec #spn speculation #deancas #season 15 #castiel #dean winchester #this is my first time posting full on crazy fangirl spec stuff #usually i don't post such long notes like this #but i am feeling frisky after 15.18 #destiel is canon and nothing hurts #i just hope with every fiber of my being that the ending we get has dean confess his love for castiel in return #i just want them to be together forever like they are meant to be

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taetaesbaebaepsae · 6 years ago

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BTS as FWB

Hyung Line

My sister and I were talking about this yesterday so I thought I'd do a post about how bts would handle being a fwb (spoiler alert they all catch feelings eventually)

**Also I take requests for BTS and maybe Monsta X so hmu in my asks, fam**

Hyung Line (Maknae Line coming up bc this got Loooong)

Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, alcohol tw

Word Count: 1,779

Namjoon (RM)

If it was your idea, he would be so down like "yeah of course who needs relationships?" but low-key he wanted to confess to you 5 seconds before you suggested an arrangement

Puts that mouth to WORK

Likes it a little rough but nothing that would leave bruises or hickeys that's for amateurs

He has a downright filthy mouth this boy will have you clutching your pearls with the nasty shit he'll say (you love it)

Late night convos, this boy will text you at 3am not for a booty call but just to talk to you

He's more of an emotional booty call than just sexual, he'll come to you when he's stressed or upset

Don't get me wrong, he'll fuck your brains out but expect lots of pillow talk, especially if he's been drinking

Takes you out for coffee, will buy you breakfast, insists to his friends he isn't dating you since he doesn't take you out at night

You're the only one he's fucking, though he flirts a lot

If he runs into you at a club and you're dancing with someone else, God help you

He won't be mean just stupid charming, doing his best to lure you away for a night of crazy sex

If it doesn't work though, he'll be high key salty, pouty, whiny

You'll get texts until daylight because he'll keep drinking, imagining you with someone else

He might show up at your door at 6am, shitfaced, honestly

"Did you bring that clown home? No, I'm not jealous, I just wanted to talk to you."

You're weak so you let him in and he spends all day at your place recovering from his hangover

He will only admit he's caught feelings if you do first or if he thinks you're getting serious with someone else

If you go on dates he'll pick a fight with you about nothing and when you're yelling at him he'll just kiss you senseless.

"I love you, ok?"

You start dating him before you even know what's happening the smartass manipulative little shit

Jin

The biggest fuckboi of the group don't @me

He's a pro at this

After he got cheated on all his relationships are fwb arrangements and they always catch feelings first

Not you, though, you know he's a fuckboi and you know what you're in for

This boy will make you laugh during sex he's never serious he'll make you come while you're giggling over some stupid shit he said

Sexts, sexts, sexts

He will never stop dirty texting you while you're in an inappropriate place like work or dinner with your family

God forbid you tell him you're going on a date, then dick pics and sexts galore

He's not jealous, he's territorial, he wants to be the best you've ever had (he is but you would die before you'd admit that)

This boy is not even a little exclusive with you, at least not at first

He'd invite you over to meet his friends and be shook at how well you fit in

You start playing video games with Jungkook and when Kookie starts looking at you with stars in his eyes Jin goes all possessive puppy

All over you at all times he's not ashamed of you he just isn't ready for a relationship

Like Namjoon he will use you for emotional comfort too, although his pillow talk will be mostly jokes and flirting

Your convos don't get too serious unless he's had WAY too much to drink

Then he tells you about his ex and shit gets real for a second before he wakes up the next morning his flirty self again

He gradually stops texting the other booty calls he has on lock, just telling himself you're better in bed, that's all

Finds out you have another fwb when he comes to your house at 3am drunk

He is SO salty, there is less salt in the Pacific ocean

He's whiny and pouty and shading the other dude constantly

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous I'm just wondering why you bother with him, he's ugly."

But if he hung out with you and the other guy would not let on ONE bit. Makes friends with him, I easy going even if he's a bit touchy feely with you

But low-key stares at you like a kicked puppy when no one is paying attention

His friends are all like "what did you do to him?"

YOUR friends are like "what'd you do to him he looks so heartbroken"

He only admits to catching feelings when you get so fed up you say it's done and you are over it

He gets mean when he sees you with the other guy on a real date and says some cruel shit

You are D O N E

Block his number done

He will 100% show up drunk at your house

He's cute so you let him in and he really does look like a kicked puppy

Honest with you for the first time bc he's scared of losing you

"I still don't know if I can trust anyone enough for a relationship but you make me wanna try it. Don't cut me out."

Yoongi (Suga)

He would only agree to a fwb arrangement if he had some feelings for you

He's not the type to fuck around with a girl he can't see himself dating

Definitely the fuck and run type at first zero pillow talk

Absolute master with his hands and fingers LORD

Not too vocal during sex but it makes him crazy when you are if you want him to nut fast you just gotta moan his name

Won't say anything non sexual unless he's drinking even then it's low key like "You look pretty tonight."

Texts you for booty calls like "hey dumbass wyd"

Will not take you for coffee or be seen in public with you, bc he's worried you're ashamed of him, not the other way around. Otherwise why wouldn't you date him?

You have no clue he likes you. Absolutely none he barely talks to you unless he's horny

He loves it when you booty call him he's so smiley and sweet when that happens

He's so soft to you when you get too drunk at his house party and throw up

He sits behind you as you hug the toilet and strokes your hair for hours

You're shocked to wake up in his bed since he has a strict no overnights rule

Scolds you for drinking so much but brings you breakfast in bed and is low-key a sweetheart through your hangover

You: shook. Your heart: full

You don't tell him you're seeing other people until he point blank asks you. When you say yes, he just nods

"Good we always use condoms then."

Will ignore you and be kind of a dick when he finds out but that's not uncommon so you are still oblivious

If you wait on him to admit to catching feelings you will die waiting

Only one way you will find out

One of his dumbass friends lets something slip when they're drunk (It's probably Jin)

You're complaining about how he's ignoring you at the party

"Bitch he's so whipped for you his lockscreen is your selfie."

You cannot believe it

You think it's bullshit

You end up sleeping in Jungkook's room that night bc you fell asleep whupping his ass at Mortal Kombat

The next morning somebody is slamming every door in the house and throwing dishes around.

Jungkook's door is open so he saw you cuddled up to the maknae

He big mad

When you finally get him to talk about it (probably days later)

"I just don't want you fucking my friends it's messy."

You only find out the lockscreen shit is true when you grab his phone by accident

He knows you know he fucking BAILS

Books it outta your life for like a week

The only way you pin him down is by texting him a paragraph about how you like him too

He kisses you so sweet when you see him next and he's all smiles and affectionate

You're dating now, that's it, no need for discussion

RIP Kookie tho he'll never trust him again despite you telling him a thousand times nothing happened

Hoseok (J-Hope)

He agrees because he is literally down for anything

Definitely a good time this boy is so much fun in bed

Will try anything once and I mean ANYTHING

You wanna tie him up? Definitely. You want him to eat whipped cream off your tiddies? Tell him when and where

The world's biggest switch don't @me

Has a thing for public sex, loves to finger you on a dance floor

Y'all do everything together, everyone thinks you're just dating

He's a big goofball with you in public, v affectionate

He's your best friend and you're his

Y'all don't take anything seriously when one of you is upset you text each other dumb selfies and fuck it out next time you hang out

Never drunk dials you you won't even know he's out until you see him on the dancefloor with some girl

Y'all compete to see who can dirty dance with the most people before you go home together

Feelings? He's never heard of them

Least likely of all the boys to catch feelings first

Would take him FOREVER to realize he actually likes you

I'm talking y'all have been fucking for MONTHS before he catches on

If he gets jealous he'll just think it's bc he's competitive

If you make him sad by not hanging out with him he'll think he just wants the attention

Feelings hit him like a brick when he finally realizes

You're in his car jamming to his latest track and you're singing and dancing like a fool with your hair flipping around and all of a sudden it's like the sun shines only on you

The boy is SHOOK

He gets real quiet

Scary quiet

You think he's mad but when you ask him he blows you off with a smile saying he's tired

You don't hear from him for a couple of days

He's pacing around his place and trying to process, talking to friends and trying to decide what to do

Everyone tells him to just tell you ofc

Confident boy is not used to feeling insecure he's hesitant.

"What if she doesn't love me back?"

There's no dramatic reveal

He really just asks you on a date

A REAL one

Nothing much changes, honestly, he has always been your bff and being your bf is just a bonus

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pokemonbutch-fr · 5 years ago

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Why every dragon breed can be easily autism coded by me: an autistic lesbian

I’m doing this as per canon lore in the Encyclopedia, obviously anyone can do whatever they want and this isn’t law

I’m just having a good time

Feel free to add on anything about your autistic dragons, or how autistic draconic society may work!

There will be NO clowning on this post, we’re appreciating and celebrating autism here!

And no I’m not saying that ONLY autistic people do these things, it’s just that these are all common themes I’ve seen amongst autistic people.

Bogsneaks: often isolated from each other, when interacting often fight. Autistic people who have different major languages can sometimes have trouble communicating (ex: I tend to read people’s body language more than their intonation, versus someone who has little to no body language and usually relies on focusing on someone’s voice)

Coatls: have lots of trouble understanding other breeds, often end up communicating with other Coatls and nobody else. The autistic community is often very accepting and works to avoid misunderstanding, whereas allistic people often fail to see past the way autistic people can have unique methods of communication

Faes: have a unique form of communicating tone, as they have expressive crests no other breed has, and cannot understand dragons without those same crests. Likewise, other breeds cannot understand the monotone Fae. Autistic people often have unique communication methods that don’t make sense to allistics, from non- and low-verbal people, to those who show no emotions when speaking, and so many in between

Gaolers: they’re considered children until they get a job, and have a lot of trouble understanding the current states of society. Autism is so often associated with children, that autistic adults either can’t get the diagnosis/recognition they desire, or they’re treated as young children unless they can “prove�� they’re an adult. Additionally, autistic people can have a lot of trouble following societal norms and understanding how the world works in allistic people’s eyes

Guardians: they have a charge, which is something they will tirelessly protect until they can no longer do so - for whatever reason. Autistic people often have special interests, which is an intense, powerful connection/interest/etc in something. Many autistic people will also have an extremely long lasting, possibly life-long special interest that always fills a part of their heart

Imperials: emotionally distant and reserved with words, but able to passionately throw themselves into anything they care about. Many autistic people either have difficulty expressing themselves, and are low- or nonverbal, or due to the way society treats them, aren’t often very open with their feelings and interests. Though when presented with something they’re passionate about - often a special interest - they have the ability to jump into it and do amazing things

Mirrors: stick with their own kind, don’t care much for unnecessary words. Autistic people gather in groups whether or not they realize it, since they share similar communication styles and life experiences. They’re also often very happy to simply hang out in silence, enjoying each other’s company without having to talk the whole time.

Nocturnes: copy copy copy! They mimic traits and activities of any dragons they’re around, meaning to fit right in. Autistic people do this SO much, either due to fascination and the desire to share interests, or an uncanny ability to blend in with allistic people when necessary

Pearlcatchers: their pearl is essentially a part of themselves, vitally important and irreplaceable, something they value dearly. Special interests can often be a very personal thing, something so valuable to someone that it’s a part of their life. (ex: I play FR literally every day and it’s honestly a nice part of my life because of how valuable it is to me)

Ridgebacks: they borrow first and ask later, insisting that it isn’t the “stealing” the other dragons always claim it is. Autistic people often run off of different social cues/rules than allistic people, which can lead to many misunderstandings - such as borrowing something they thought was free to use

Skydancers: very good at reading emotional energies to see what others are feeling, which can benefit them in discussions/arguments, but frustrate them greatly if they can’t read someone’s emotions. many autistic people are empaths, and have an uncanny ability to feel other people’s emotions, and often share them. This comes in handy for being able to understand other people more easily, but can be tough if somebody around them is feeling bad, they’ll often feel the same emotions

Snappers: they live for routine, and know a LOT about everything you could imagine. Many autistic people love having a routine in life, and find comfort in knowing exactly what they plan to do. In the same vein, any autistic person can likely talk endlessly about their special interest, answering any questions you have and 5 more you haven’t even asked yet

Spirals: talk and move every single moment. Stimming #1, many autistic people have trouble not moving for a while and will find something to do so they can keep moving. they also often have trailing trains of thoughts, and can totally change subjects within 10 seconds because they’re talking so fast

Tundras: wonderful at sitting in silence or simply listening to others, they lack a good memory save for their sense of smell, and cherish their family like no other. Autistic people often have found families they’d die for, and take their close relationships very seriously. They also often end up with shoddy memories in one way or another, and love to sit in silence with friends

Wildclaws: their social hierarchy is based on appreciating those for their ability and what they can do. since autistic people can struggle with the way society will define worth, they focus more on someone’s personal value in what they find important. if someone is really good at identifying insects based on their silhouette, well dang that’s a really cool thing to do!

#flight rising #this was fun tbh

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kindredspiritsarentsorare · 5 years ago

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Entirely Impossible: Chapter 1

*Here it is! Post Episode 6! I edited and updated it into a longer fic! I’ll be posting all the chapters separately as they will hopefully also be stand alone one shots. Enjoy and hopefully we won’t all be clowns tomorrow night!*

Anne was furious, livid, enraged. She was so angry she couldn’t even think of any other synonyms for her anger. How could her classmates so easily dismiss Josie’s ruin? Anne couldn’t work on an entry for the paper, not when something so unfair, so wholly wrong, something so... so unjust had happened. She had to do something. Clearly no one else was going to .

Something must be done. But what? What could she do? She couldn’t even bake a cake properly. But surely there must be something. She couldn’t just sit by, she knew that much.

Anne slowly sat down, but she did not begin to write. She merely sat and thought. She watched everyone else writing and happily discussing quilts and caramel apples and the fortune teller from the fair. Ruby and Moody were exchanging blushing glances. Gilbert worked at the printing press and when Anne caught herself staring at the way his forearms looked with his shirt sleeves rolled up she pointedly pulled her gaze away. She would not indulge in her crush on Gilbert Blythe ever again. She would not gaze at his forearms. She would not notice the way the wind from the open window ruffled his brown curls. She would not grace him with a returned smile when he caught her looking at him. She would crush these feelings as far down inside her as she could.

All of this seems so trivial, Anne thought. Just like how the balloon had given her some perspective on that horrid day, Josie’s situation gave Anne new perspective on the small joys in life and how trivial they truly were compared to Josie’s ruined reputation. Her entire future was ruined by something she had not even consented to. How can the world keep turning when something so unjust has happened? How could Anne ever enjoy anything small and simple again when such grand injustices were happening everyday all across the globe?

Anne didn’t notice everyone cleaning up and heading home until the voice of Gilbert Blythe drew her out of her thoughts.

“Anne,” He repeated.

Anne looked up. He was gazing at her intently. She felt color rise to her cheeks.

“Anne?” Gilbert asked again, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

“What?” Anne asked rather sharply.

Gilbert winced slightly at the venom in her voice. His feelings still stung from her earlier attack. But Anne Shirley-Cuthbert was a passionate individual and this wasn’t the first time her passions had manifested themselves as anger towards Gilbert. Gilbert knew he needed to tread carefully otherwise he’d end up with a slate cracked against his face again. Gilbert wasn’t certain what had changed recently, but something most definitely had changed between them over the last few weeks. They had been getting along really well since he’d returned from sea. But now everything seemed immensely more complicated and ever since the fair Anne had only looked at Gilbert with glowers.

“I was only going to tell you that we’re all leaving for the evening,” Gilbert said, trying to read what was written in Anne’s face.

When Anne only glared at him in response Gilbert cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I, uh, also told everyone to save the hot air balloon piece for you to write. I know it was your favorite part.” Gilbert said hopefully.

“How gracious of you,” Anne said coldly, “But I cannot write about such trivial things when someone’s future has been ruined.”

She stood and began gathering her things, pointedly ignoring the confused furrowing of Gilbert’s brow and ignoring his chin. There was nothing that handsome about it after all. She had been mistaken when she thought otherwise. She could feel Gilbert’s eyes on her back as she gathered her books.

“I only thought you would enjoy writing about it once you had calmed down a bit,” Gilbert said, beginning to feel heated, “But clearly I was wrong. No surprise there.”

When Anne ignored him again Gilbert felt anger bubble up in his chest. If she was going to be mad at him and take everything out on him she could at least explain why. Surely that wasn’t too much to ask.

“Anne I don’t understand what has caused you to lash out at me so. I understand you are angry but at least tell me why if you’re going to take it out on me!” Gilbert exclaimed.

“What has caused me to lash out at you?! Really!?” Anne rounded on him, eyes blazing, “I should be asking you what has caused you to become a coward!”

Gilbert’s jaw dropped. A coward!? What on earth was she talking about. But Anne continued before he could ask any more.

“You only thought I would enjoy writing about the balloons once I had a moment to calm down. Well I suppose everyone wished I would calm down but I will not! I will not be silenced. You, of all people, I thought would be on my side! You are standing by and watching injustice happen! I only thought you might stand up for Josie, too! I have never known you to be passive and dull, Gilbert Blythe. But clearly I was the one who was wrong!”

Anne’s chest was heaving and she glowered at Gilbert with such fierceness that Gilbert felt as though he had been struck. Perhaps the slate would have been a better alternative to the way Anne looked at him now.

“Wrong about me? Passive and dull? I am grateful to hear you think so little of me. As if your previous actions hadn’t been clear enough. Thank you for making it perfectly clear just how you truly feel about me. I really needed to hear this. I am sorry I seem to measure up so pathetically compared to your lofty ideals!” Gilbert seethed.

“Oh yes! Of course! My ideals are so very lofty! Imagine me thinking you would take up arms for Josie after you know what happened to Mary! You know how Elijah was conceived. I suppose as long as you’re living up to the standards of courting then everything is just fine and you don’t have to concern yourself otherwise! I have been so foolish!” Anne could never remember being so angry and hurt before.

Gilbert shook his head and let out an exasperated breath.

“What on earth does courting have to do with anything!?” He exclaimed.

“Oh nothing!” Anne said shrilly, “Just that I never imagined you the time to forget who you were the moment you gained the attention of a woman. When this could have happened to her, or me, or anyone else. Josie could have ended up like Mary and Elijah and you expect me to write about balloons!? I will not! I will not write a word about balloons until justice has been restored! I won’t write...” Suddenly Anne stopped and looked stricken.

“Write. I can write!” She murmured almost to herself and then she turned on her heel and practically flew from the schoolhouse.

Anne did not pay attention to the few people left in the coat room who were whispering and looking wide-eyed at the row that had been ensuing between her and Gilbert Blythe.

Gilbert couldn’t think straight. What on earth had Anne been talking about? Him being a coward? Courting? And she had just bolted from the building as if she couldn’t get away from him fast enough. He shook his head trying to make sense of everything. Why did Anne always have to be so... so difficult... so complicated.

Gilbert sighed and looked up only to meet Diana’s eyes. She was looking at him with furrowed brow. Great. Now he’d made a spectacle of himself in front of the Avonlea school. Diana had always been friendly with Gilbert, however over the last week she had seemed almost cross with him.

“Diana, I, I must confess I don’t know what just happened or why Anne is so angry with me,” Gilbert said pleadingly.

“No, no I expect you don’t,” Diana said with a sigh.

“Do you? Know, I mean?” Gilbert asked, “I want to make amends with Anne, but I can’t seem to get it right no matter what I do. I don’t even understand why she is so angry with me.”

“I know a great deal, of course,” Diana said slowly, “But I expect much of it is not mine to share with you.”

Gilbert’s heart sunk, Diana was his only hope of understanding what was going on. But she would never betray Anne’s trust.

“Of course, I would never want you to betray Anne’s trust.” Gilbert said and preparing to exit the coat room.

“Well,” Diana said, “I suppose I could tell you something.” Diana said slowly as if she were weighing the choice heavily.

Gilbert turned and looked at Diana hopefully.

“Anne is most upset with you at present because she feels as though you are ignoring the injustice that has befallen Josie Pye. She expected you would be making a fuss about what Billy Andrews has done. She feels terribly alone in her standing up for Josie. I expect she is very hurt that everyone seems not to care at all about it.” Diana said, her words were careful and Gilbert got the feeling that this was only part of the reason Anne was mad at him.

“And this is the reason she is angry with me?” Gilbert asked, searching Diana’s face for answers.

“Well, the reason she is most angry with you,” Diana clarified.

“There are other reasons?” Gilbert asked, furrowing his brow.

“That’s not my story to tell, Gilbert.” Diana said gently and then turned as if to leave.

“I am not ignoring the injustice of what happened to Josie,” Gilbert said suddenly and Diana turned to look at Gilbert.

“I just don’t see the point in screaming about it and causing a scene. It won’t change what happened. My thought process was the sooner this talk all died down the sooner what happened would be forgotten by Avonlea and the sooner Josie could come back.”

Diana nodded, “Yes, I see where you’re coming from,” Diana agreed, “It would be easy if only Avonlea would forget, but I fear they won’t. This... it’s different I expect. And it is unfair that what happened to Josie wasn’t by her choice and that she still has to pay penance for it.”

“Of course it isn’t fair, but continuing to draw attention to it will only make Josie’s shame grow and Avonlea less likely to forget about what happened.” Gilbert said.

“Perhaps you should tell Anne that. I think she has misunderstood your silence on the matter as you defending Billy Andrews.” Diana said.

“I would never!” Gilbert exclaimed, “Billy is disgusting and his actions were, were, disgusting.”

“Maybe you should tell Anne that,” Diana said

#awae #awae spoilers #awae s3 #Anne x Gilbert #Post episode 6 #Shirbert #Entirely Impossible #awae fanfic #awae fanfiction #anne with an e fanfiction

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dew-line · 5 years ago

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Life, death, and rebirth – developing and redeveloping a personality on a progressing timeline

So. I had a little fun today. The last task on the psychology course was to write an essay on personality development based(ish) on Mischels theories about personality development. The guidelines were a tad loose, and I choose to run with it. The text below is what I submitted, hopefully I’ll get som feedback on it tomorrow or in a few days and I’ll keep you posted on that. :D //Jimmy How does one begin to describe, in any relatable fashion, the development of one’s personality, especially as it is a work of perpetual process? One must, I assume, begin at the beginning: I was born. Then there was nothing until I developed a basic sense of self awareness and the ability to define myself in relation to other people and objects. In that very moment I created the world; but you may rest easy, for I am a humble god. Especially so since I stopped demanding the immediate satisfaction of my basic needs and allowed myself to be shaped into this present form by the mold created by my parents and by society; by boundaries drawn by cultural and linguistic traits Thus, like the Christian God I was made flesh and blood – now writing before you as this maculate conception, ever learning as I progressed over the years, constantly striving to fill out this rudimentary sketch of “me” drawn by my parents with ever more content and subject matter. I learnt of poetry and philosophy – the power of word and thought, and thus, in my late teens, I entered a new phase. Let it begin with these words from the gospel [abridged] of St. Charles the Inebriated.

”Born like this

Into this

Into these carefully mad wars

Into the sight of broken factory windows of emptiness

Into bars where people no longer speak to each other

Into fist fights that end as shootings and knifings

Born into this

Into hospitals which are so expensive that it's cheaper to die

Into lawyers who charge so much it's cheaper to plead guilty

Into a country where the jails are full and the madhouses closed

Into a place where the masses elevate fools into rich heroes

Born into this

Walking and living through this

Dying because of this

Muted because of this

Castrated

Debauched

Disinherited

Because of this

Fooled by this

Used by this

Pissed on by this

Made crazy and sick by this

Made violent

Made inhuman

By this

[…]”

Charles Bukowski – ”Dinosauria, We”.

Now, I may not have turned out quite as bitter and fatalistic as the aged Bukowski, but I do confess to a certain faiblesse for the absurd, in Camus’s use of the term, that existence is without meaning and purpose, and that beauty lies in –the absurd– meeting between this knowledge and continuing to striving too, despite this knowledge, fill life with love, beauty and personal meaning.

I was born into a classical working class home at 09:28, December 25th 1974, the first child of a young mother and an alcoholic and controlling father; two parents that had the unusually common sense for their time to realise that they should not be together, and thus early becoming a child of separation – my parents were not married. I was doomed to the life of bi-weekend migrations between families – as this was long before the enlightened era where parents manage to handle child care in an adult fashion and share the weeks equally – a conduct that, in my case, created a feeling or rootlessness and a sense of drifting rather than establishing solid connections within either family – my mother and my father’s new families respectively. This rootlessness in turn created the foundation of a lifelong fear of abandonment and also of a shyness that manifested itself in an extroverted way – acting like the class clown, hiding emotions behind first erratic behavior and later, as I grew older and developed an arsenal of wit and amassed at least a modicum of knowledge – in early attempts at humor. I also developed the foundation of a contrarian mindset that is still present to this day. I despise the consensus – mainly because a consensus promotes a lack of progress and a lack of progress is the base definition of death. However, when I was a child the main reason for causing disruption, even if I was not aware of it at the time, was that it is easier to hide where there is disorder. Being judged by one’s behavior was far more preferable to being judged on who I actually was.

It was at this age, around the age of seven or eight, that I came to the conclusion that religion was not the answer. Being introduced to a light version of Christianity in an after-school setting, being taught the core concepts of the New Testament, I promptly told the teacher that it was nonsense and, if I recall correctly, was not invited back for the second semester. Much to my mother’s dismay, I presume. By this time, we had left Uppsala and moved out into the countryside, a move that lead to an increased isolation on my behalf – this suited me perfectly as my main interests, especially as I started fourth grade, turned into literature and music. My mother had always read out loud for us when we were little, and I have always had a strong imagination – making the immersion into literature both smooth and welcome. Music also became an important present at this early age – literature and music has followed me ever since. The main part of the eighties was spent in my room reading and listening to music.

What beautiful time it was.

Reading has had a huge impact on the forming of the person that I am today. All adults that I was surrounded by, in a formative sense – part from teachers – lacked any higher education and we did not really discuss much at, particularly not on my mother’s side, where I spent most of my time. My father, on the other hand – and this is based on long term memories, I cannot vouch for the validity of these memories as I have not spoken to the man in over 20 years – had a creative side – he tried to keep up to date, enjoyed certain intellectual activities. And whisky. And to listen to music. And whisky. And occasionally to beat his kids. Personally, I can’t remember to have ever being beaten by him, that seem to have developed later. My two brothers on my father’s side got to take the brunt of it as I can remember, however – he also had a knack for the words and was happy to share his opinions on how useless we were. That one has stuck with me. As I grew up and became older, and also stronger, this abuse increasingly became a greater and greater problem for me – culminating in me eventually starting to step between my father and my younger siblings when he got ”into the mood”. Eventually, however, I came to the point where I could not keep doing this and as I neared adulthood the relationship with my father and also my father’s side of the family slowly ebbed out. Initially, and for some years I felt that I had let my siblings to fend for themselves, but that feeling is long since passed. I have processed this, and I have moved on. It had to be done.

I once asked my mother why they did not put any pressure on us when we were younger. Why they never pushed us to do better in school or had any opinions on what we choose to study in high school. The answer was that they wanted to let us choose for ourselves, that we should study what we wanted. The guidance counselor, I remember, told me to look find a job in a warehouse. Packing vegetables at the COOP. The direct result of that was that I ended up studying for two years to become a bricklayer. I had no ambitions. I choose what I knew, since my stepfather and my father both worked in construction. I should not have been there. My only proper skills after being through the Swedish school system in the 80’s and early 90’s was a decent grasp of English. There were no jobs for me in construction, nor would I have been interested if there were any. If change was to come it was not through family, the school system or anything else. It was through me.

Looking back, however, it is interesting to see how much my life has been formed from the experiences of these formative years. I have no friends or acquaintances from before I started studying at university for the first time in 1998. Non whatsoever. I was social, I had friends – but I have never been sentimental – and I would rather let friendships run out from time or distance. No strong ties, no risk for emotional trauma. One might say that I started to reconstruct my life in my early twenties, I got into a new profession, I applied and got accepted into Grythyttan, Sweden’s premier hospitality industry education, a higher education under the management of the university of Örebro. This pretty much meant everything. Getting away from Uppsala and then – by the slight detour of three years in Grythyttan – to Stockholm meant everything. There is a reason why the Stockholm tends to draw people to it: the chance to rebuild yourself, to turn you into the person you want to be, to let yourself take center stage, if you will. Those were the formative years. They were great years. Working in the restaurant business in Stockholm in the early 2000’s was a smorgasbord of hedonism; food, wine, spirits, drugs. The sky was the limit. What a time to be young. And had not an underlying feeling that there must be more to life kept on nagging me I’d probably still be there today, standing on the brink of being a burned out wreck – but instead I got out, I diversified and got into wine import, into copywriting, photography – always searching; and I think that I am finally starting to get an idea.

I woke up one morning in December 2018, taking stock of my life. What I had done, where I had been, where I was and what I wanted to do. The same day I applied for a late admission course at Södertörn and started studying the very next month. I am very curious to see where I will end up.

#the DEW line #psychology #mischel #essay #forfunsies

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beloved-judged · 5 years ago

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The god of surprises

I started a new job and haven’t had time to do much more than work, sleep, and the occasional chores--this is going to make posting sporadic. My day is currently 11-12 hours out of the house.

My papa put out another podcast today, and I’ve had to listen to it four times, thinking about what he has to say about perception versus my own experience of god.

I’m finding, at least for now, that I have less to say about god. Not because I have less to say, but because the more I think about god, the divine, or what have you, the less I am sure I know in any form that makes sense in the kind of coherency I might use to write.

The constant, to the extent that there is a constant, has been the strange confluence between absolutely nothing being as I expected it to be, and yet with a routine that beggars description, what I encounter is completely, utterly, and totally predictable, stable, and foreseeable. It is as if it is invisible, and like a magician’s show, the curtain is whisked away. What remains is absolutely and elegantly necessary: that which must be and always was.

Perception changes as I change, and what did not exist before is revealed as being always there.

I see this in myself. I often think of myself as being... well, a mess. I know my life trajectory is not what others would see as being what is good or right. I know that I am, in fact, someone many people would see as a loser, or as a waste of potential. It’s the curse of gifted kids: we test well, but that doesn’t always translate into life success. And more than that, a family kind of curse. Many of us test very, very well in terms of IQ. We’re capable of heroic effort, and the kind of people you can bend a girder around when we think we’re right--and most of us amount to nothing, in terms of all those measures of success people like to use.

As my perception has changed, I have found that others don’t think of me as a loser, which comes as a surprise to me. I was shocked yesterday to find that my son’s therapist thinks I’m a good parent, and in fact said that watching my son and I interact makes her happy. Our interaction is so close, and loving, and positive that she enjoys watching us interact.

I have a monstrous load of impostor syndrome that interacting with my family does not help--my job title is officially software engineer, but I’m currently functioning as a systems engineer, technical writer, and when I finish that I’ll be refactoring code and adding features as fast as I can type. My workplace is... well, let’s just say they actually need me as an organizer even more than they need me to code. I’ve decided I like them, so I’m going to un-fuck them as fast as I can.

I came home after another 11 hour day and my father decided it was time, since he manages software engineers (and what idiot let him have that position?), to lecture me on how no one should have to pay me to do any of the things I am currently doing: no one should have to pay for my labor to refactor their code, or design their systems, or document their features, or design their UI/UX, or write their manuals, or write their help wiki, or even to write their features.

My labor is worthless.

Both of my parents have repeatedly demanded that my title be something they think of as less, a technical writer or some sort of secretary, and not actually an engineer.

I watched him stand there, dressed like the manager he is, with his long career of working at various defense industry companies and federal organizations, with all the awards and rewards that came with it, and I felt sorry for the engineers he has managed. I cannot imagine how much more inconsistent, unforgiving, and unkind he would be to people he felt even more in power over than he apparently feels about me.

I had my moment of insecurity and the people I know and care for gently smacked me around a bit, but--the funny thing about these surprises is how inevitable they feel. My father is a bully. He’s sadistic, petty, nasty, and deeply insecure.

A year or so ago, I would have been cowering after that discussion. I would have been unable to shake the burden of his loathing of me and women, and I would have taken it to work and under-performed hard enough to get fired, fitting the narrative my family has pressured me to fit my whole life, that I am a waste, a failure that must be rescued from herself.

It is inevitable, an inevitable surprise, that as my perception has changed, I can see him blustering and bullying and informing the universe that it cannot be true, that I (both female and who I am) could possibly contribute anything of worth in a field he considers to be his.

And having seen his weakness, his insecurity, his shock at the idea that I might be a valuable employee, I experience several surprises: that I am, in fact valuable.

But also that I am not burdened by him. Once I could see what he tries to cover up, I was no longer bound by it. That much follows, perfectly and without effort.

The surprise for me, in many ways, was that it bound me at all. How ridiculous, but inevitable, to try to love someone you feel you must love, and to be affected by them. Love is no badness, nothing to avoid, no stain on my soul, and even as I see where I tried to love someone who would not be loved by me, I do not feel shame. I tried, and I will even take care of his foolish and aged self when he ceases to be able to care for himself.

There are many kinds of love.

How ridiculous, like a shout of joy, to realize that you are surrounded by the loose links of a chain that once bound you, fading as if erased.

And how ridiculous, like a laughing clown, the knowledge that he will, my whole life, fear me and what he sees in me. That poor bastard, my father. How hard I must be on him and his understanding of the world.

The inevitable surprise: that I see, that what changes, changes in me, and the world inside me shifts, aligning to something that is increasingly unchanging, a surprise only because I could not yet see.

#vodou #god #lwa

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8147 · 6 years ago

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reading hamlet for the first time (act 5: the finale)

masterlist

none of you told me it was going to be this painful . none of you.

a5s1

“Ophelia’s dead.” “Enter CLOWNS!”

Like im sure this has a different meaning in EMA but im gonna make fun of it because it’s fucking hilarious. (future (present? (now past once more (?))) antares coming back to say i did look at nfs and yeah theyre gravediggers)

“First Clown: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter? Second Clown: The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.” damn not even just this one quote but these are some depressing clowns

hamlet and horatio!

okay there’s something about all of hamlet’s skull talk that makes me uneasy. like, not even the topic, just something in the words and how earnestly and (pardon my pun) gravely hamlet’s speaking about this. and it’s almost a mournful tune, too. it’s a huge difference from his “we’ll all be eaten by the same worms” speech to the point that it’s almost haunting.

“HAMLET: I will speak to this fellow.” C O N F R O N T

“HAMLET: I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.” (incomprehensible scribbling)

HAMLET, NOT IN ENGLAND: oh yeah lol he was sent to england huh u know why lmao

wait. did the. did the pirate situation get resolved. before act V.

I mean i think hamlet mentioned something about three years but the pirates are so fucking glossed over like what the fuck

“First Clown: 'Twill, a not be seen in him there; there the men are as mad as he.” HOLY SHIT ROAST THEM JFC

“HAMLET: Let me see. (Takes the skull)” THIS IS THE SKULL SCENE! I fucking KNEW it was bullshit that holding the skull was in the to be/not to be speech. I saw it being presented as such like once or twice while reading and I KNEW IT

hm okay so hamlet picks up this guys skull, of someone he used to know, and sure maybe i could ignore the “those lips i have kissed” but then he goes on to mention alexander the great and i mean come on

but jesus like i feel like im not doing justice to the stuff hamlet’s saying. just, the gravity of it all. Its kinda hitting home a bit hard bc like ive had a crippling fear of what happens after death and being forgotten etc since i was like in fourth grade and this is @ing that phobia

like, with that julius ceasar thing. “O that that earth which kept the world in awe / should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw,” it’s so strange. like, every fucking human who has lived, whether they be emperors, murderers, inventors, peasants, or philanthropists- as long as they weren’t blind, they’ve all looked at the same sky. like. It doesnt matter what the fuck you did or didn’t. It’s wild.

“First Priest: No more be done: We should profane the service of the dead To sing a requiem and such rest to her As to peace-parted souls.” hey i get that there are cultural taboos around suicide but like this guy’s a dick it isnt even clear if it was suicide, like, she was so fucking crazy she might not have even known she was, y’know, in a lake or w/e

laertes, dude, my guy. maybe jumping into a grave is cosmic foreshadowing for something you don’t want to happen to you. js.

“HAMLET: [Advancing] What is he whose grief Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I, Hamlet the Dane. (Leaps into the grave)” hamlet is NOT one to be out-extra’d (posting-antares here to say, wait, ‘whose phrase of sorrow conjures the stars? is this my aesthetic-speeches-summon-ghosts theory? probably not, but i havent mentioned it for a while)

“LAERTES: The devil take thy soul! (Grappling with him)” IN A FUCKING GRAVE. THEY ARE FIGHTING. IN A GRAVE.

all because hamlet doesn’t want to be out-extra’d. my god.

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: This is mere madness: And thus awhile the fit will work on him; Anon, as patient as the female dove, When that her golden couplets are disclosed, His silence will sit drooping.” Ah yes gertie just talk about the distraught and angry madman as if he isn’t there. that’ll diffuse the situation.

You know what? We still haven’t discussed the pirates.

a5s2

“HAMLET: So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other; You do remember all the circumstance?” If this isn’t gonna be about the pirates im gonna. scream.

“HAMLET: My fears forgetting manners, to unseal Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio,-- O royal knavery!--an exact command, Larded with many several sorts of reasons Importing Denmark's health and England's too, With, ho! such bugs and goblins in my life, That, on the supervise, no leisure bated, No, not to stay the grinding of the axe, My head should be struck off.” god, though. imagine that. being exiled to another country by the person who killed your father, only to find out that they were going to have you killed, anyways. that’s fucking terrifying. jesus christ.

Damn this idea that pretty handwriting is ~beneath~ nobles confuses me so fucking much. I got called haughty once just because my main handwriting is cursive. I mean, they were right, but their evidence was circumstantial at best.

“HAMLET: That, on the view and knowing of these contents, Without debatement further, more or less, He should the bearers put to sudden death, Not shriving-time allow'd.” Hamlet’s Revenge.

but also, what the fuck, dude. two wrongs dont make a right.

damn i kinda lost myself while reading but it really doesn’t sound like hamlet’s insane anymore. Like he’s… tempered himself. he doesn’t feel insane, just solemn.

“OSRIC: Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark. HAMLET: I humbly thank you, sir. Dost know this water-fly?” goddamn ROAST HIM HAMLET (also what a fucking mood)

Osric put on your fucking ha--

The wind is

The wind is northerly

“HAMLET: No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.” I remember someone saying that this is important

Okay here: “HAMLET: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.”

oh no

Osric just wear ur fucking hat u doof

“OSRIC: Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry,--as 'twere,--I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: sir, this is the matter,-- HAMLET: I beseech you, remember-- (HAMLET moves him to put on his hat)” excuse me a WAGER

but alas all hamlet cares about is osric’s fucking hat

“HAMLET: What's his weapon? OSRIC: Rapier and dagger. HAMLET: That's two of his weapons: but, well.” hamlet u sarcastic little shit i love you

I mean so is horatio. I love him too.

This stuff with the competition is. not gonna end well. not at well.

“HAMLET: I do not think so: since he went into France, I have been in continual practise: I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart: but it is no matter.”

hamlet no. listen to your heart or whatever. jesus christ don’t do it.

“HORATIO: Nay, good my lord,--” HAMLET LISTEN TO HORATIO

Ohhh hamlet

okay reading what laertes said, you know what? i’m giving laertes one last chance. please do not prove me a fool, laertes.

everything is giving me mad anxiety. e v e r y t h i n g.

claud’s speech is insanely sketchy

“KING CLAUDIUS: [Aside] It is the poison'd cup: it is too late.” One, so that’s why it was sketchy. Two, the POISONED CUP?

IT’S TOO LATE?

Gertie’s. Dead.

Shit, shit, shit

“LAERTES: [Aside] And yet 'tis almost 'gainst my conscience.” YES! SO PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING!

“LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES.” Oh no oh no oh jeez eheu they’re hurting each other, shit, fuck,

“LAERTES: ...woodcock…”

“KING CLAUDIUS: She swounds to see them bleed. QUEEN GERTRUDE: No, no, the drink, the drink,--O my dear Hamlet,-- The drink, the drink! I am poison'd. (Dies)” one, i love how claud is desperatley trying to stick to the plan, its almost adorable in a childish sort of way. two, oh god. ohhh god. gertie.

Oh no.

this is the bloodbath. THIS IS THE BLOODBATH.

BODY COUNT: 1

“HAMLET: The point!--envenom'd too! Then, venom, to thy work. (Stabs KING CLAUDIUS)” ...

BODY COUNT: 2

wait and hamlet’s on death row, as with laertes. Oh no.

“LAERTES: He is justly served; It is a poison temper'd by himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me. (Dies)’ oh my god already??? I haven’t even really accepted king claud’s death?? jesus christ??

My friend just sorta nudged me and asked if i was alright and i. I’m not. i’m in shock. goddamn. what?

BODY COUNT: 3

goodness thats three in like less than thirty seconds JESUS CHRIST

“HAMLET: Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.I am dead, Horatio.” that’s chilling. just, the poignancy. that’s so fucking spectral. i’m not okay.

“HORATIO: Never believe it: I am more an antique Roman than a Dane: Here's yet some liquor left.” No no no on no nononon NO NO oh my god are you going to-

“HAMLET: As thou'rt a man, Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't. … If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from felicity awhile, And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story.” hey i’m crying in study hall. i’m actually crying. what the fuck. I don’t cry unless i’m thinking about that one pair of 18th century shoes with the really good photo quality (transcribing-antares here. I fucking love those shoes. I’m looking at them right now and they’re so fucking beautiful. they look how velvet feels, which is odd, bc they're apparently silk. I don’t care they’re just so fucking lovely)

F O R T I N B R A S?

“HAMLET: O, I die, Horatio; The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit.” I’ve identified my emotion. Dread. pure, unadulterated Dread.

for all of you that’ve listened to the penumbra podcast: do you remember the concierge, right before final resting place, saying “you do realize you can just like, leave, and everything will be hunky dory and you won’t have to deal with the emotional consequences this episode will bring you” because i’m seriously considering doing that right now.

“HAMLET: The rest is silence. (Dies)” shit. (posting-antares here to say that i forgot to do the body count but honestly im crying while formating because of this goddamn fucking 400 year old play)

“HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince…” oh god. horatio.

“Good night sweet prince…”

(yet again tis transcribing-antares here to say that im fucking sobbing right now, the shoes are no match for this, and ‘goodnight sweet prince’ is actually never going to leave my head.) (editing-antares here to say im fucking crying again god fucking damn it) (posting-antares back again saying that this fucking line. this line. my god.)

“HORATIO: What is it ye would see? If aught of woe or wonder, cease your search.” oh, horatio. god. that isn’t something said without tears staining your skin and a bitter tone hard-won, not that its possession is a victory.

oh my god. this can’t. no. this can’t end like this. What. no. people must have rioted. No. no!!

i typically hate it but i would GLADLY accept a deus ex machina right about now!!

okay my friend just took my phone away from me and shut it off because i kept on trying to scroll past the end

jesus christ

okay so i’m not going to be okay for like, several eternities, so im going to play the sims until i. until i die, probably. my god.

masterlist

#shush antares #antares reads hamlet #thE PIRATES WERE NEVER ADDRESSED #also im crying but im STILL ANGRY #mostly in shock tho

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analysis-by-vaylon · 8 years ago

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The limits of violence: why Toffee won’t be defeated through force alone.

In this analysis, I'll talk about the fight against Toffee in "Starcrushed," compare it to "Storm the Castle" and "Into the Wand," and discuss the implications of this comparison. This will be the first of two analyses I have planned for the season two finale. The second analysis will discuss the finale's contrast between Moon and Star and include a breakdown of the narrative structure of both episodes. (The number of analyses may change based on whether or not I notice anything new between now and then.)

Since "Starcrushed" is still fresh in all our minds, let's first go all the way back to the season one finale, "Storm the Castle."

Re-watching "Storm the Castle"

Star rushes into Ludo's castle to rescue Marco, who is kidnapped by Toffee. Do you recall how Star handles the fight against Toffee?:

Star: Marco! Here's the plan: we're going in on the count of one. Buff Frog: That is not good plan. [Star racks her wand like a shotgun.] Star: One. Buff Frog: No, wait, stop.

Nearly everything in this scene is suggestive of modern weaponry -- of a SWAT raid, in fact: Star rushes into the room, filling it with smoke like a smoke bomb, and immediately blasts Toffee's arm off. Star tries to break open the crystal prison with a spell resembling timed explosive devices and again with a spell resembling a rocket-propelled grenade. Both of these fail. Even the chainsaw gag reinforces the idea of modern weapons. The modern weaponry is, I think, reflective of Star's youthful impetuousness, but keep it in mind.

Finally, Star dips down and breaks open the crystal prison -- only for it to grow back nearly instantly. Then, only moments afterwards, we see Toffee's arm grow back as well. I think this episode is making a comparison between the crystal prison and Toffee himself: Marco tries to attack Toffee but only ends up punching the crystal, both the crystal and Toffee are a similar shade of green, and both grow back after being destroyed. In fact, Toffee says:

That won't work again. That crystal's twice as strong now.

It's not hard to imagine that Toffee might well be talking about himself: a trick used on him once won't work again; he'll be ready the second time. Try to destroy Toffee as much as you like, but he always grows back.

Indeed, though at first it seems the wand's explosion completely destroys Toffee, we later discover he is still very much alive, and this was all simply part of his plan. This is the first time we see on-screen that violence fails against Toffee.

"Into the Wand" and History

With "Into the Wand," Star travels into her memories stored in the wand and finds the Grandma Room, where we first learn that Queen Moon fought Toffee in battle at some point in the past. The inscription beneath her tapestry reads:

The immortal monster will long be haunted by the darkest spell of Moon the Undaunted

Moon's "darkest spell" is how Toffee lost his finger -- yet the true implication of this scene is that not even Moon's magic at the peak of its power appears to have stopped Toffee in the slightest, since he later returns in Ludo's employ in "Fortune Cookies." This is the second time we learn that violence fails to stop Toffee.

The Fight in "Starcrushed"

We aren't shown Toffee's re-possession of Ludo, but here's what I think happens: out of sympathy, Moon tries to comfort Ludo -- perhaps with a pat on the head or some similar gesture -- and, as soon as she is within reach, Toffee resumes control of Ludo's body, drains Moon, and takes back the wand. Toffee waits to strike until his victim is alone and vulnerable (a tactic we see in "Marco Grows a Beard," with Star and the wand separated; in "Storm the Castle," with Marco's kidnapping; and in "Bon Bon the Birthday Clown," with the attack in the graveyard).

The Magic High Commission return just in time to see Toffee graft his arm to Ludo's body, and the fight begins. The fight is entirely one-sided, with Toffee weathering, deflecting, or repelling every attack. By the time Moon is revived, Toffee has enough power to deflect her attacks as well, leading to, once again, a decisive victory for Toffee.

Tying It All Together

I think it's important to note the kind of fighting that happens in the fight scene in "Starcrushed." If "Storm the Castle" was suggestive of modern combat, then "Starcrushed" makes use of high-fantasy medieval combat -- which befits the contrast between the younger Star and the older Moon and Magic High Commission:

Omnitraxus Prime briefly threatens Toffee with fisticuffs.

Hekapoo wields her scissors as daggers and attempts to use her magic to simply multiply her force.

Rhombulus tries to attack Toffee with his fists as well as with crystals. While this briefly distracts Toffee, it doesn't stop him.

Note that, like the Magic High Commission, Moon -- despite being probably the most-proficient magic-user present -- uses her magic in uncomplicated, violent ways: she launches magic at Toffee, tries to grapple him, and duels him with a sword. You might even say that her violence is surprisingly uncreative. I bring this up because the show wants us to realize this contrast between Moon and Star -- a contrast it shows us proof of immediately, for what is the very next scene after the fight with Toffee? It's Star, and she's casting a spell:

[Cut to a close-up of the wand.] Oskar: So you just say stuff and magic comes out? Star: Yeah, pretty much. I've even been creating my own spells. Wanna see? Oskar: Yeah, I'd be honored. Star: Okay, I haven't practiced this one too much, so if your body explodes -- whoopsie-doopsies! (laughs) That's a little magic joke for you. Oskar: Oh. (laughs nervously) Star: Okay. Sparkle Kitten Fireworks Shower! [Chaos ensues.]

The reason this scene is important is twofold: not only does it show us, through comparison, what the fight with Toffee was missing -- Star's unexpected creativity -- it also brings back to the forefront an idea that has been explicitly spelled out throughout the series: Star doesn't play by the rules; she uses her imagination. Remember what Tom and Marco say in "Mr. Candle Cares":

Marco: Hey. Isn't this ... kind of cheating? Tom: You think this is cheating? You should try playing Star at ping-pong. Marco: Well, Star doesn't really cheat. She just makes up her own rules. Tom: And then she changes the rules again halfway through the game. Marco: Oh... so that's why I never win. Tom: She just does whatever she wants. Marco: Yeah, that's Star. Tom: Yeah. She is kinda awesome.

And recall the conversation between Ludo and Glossaryck in "The Hard Way":

Ludo: So when am I going to learn a Narwhal Blast? Pshew! Pshew! Pshew! Glossaryck: Oh, oh. Oh, that. Yes, well, mm-hmm. You see, Star made that up. It's not in the book. She just used her imagination for most things. Ludo: Ooh, what's an ima-gi-na-tion?

No normal person would ever think to combine kittens with fireworks -- but Star does, and that's the real point of that scene with Oskar. Star's ability with magic is limited only by her technical proficiency and her imagination. Whereas Moon was almost certainly a more-diligent student of magic than Star is -- Star doesn't need the book. Star writes her own spells; she doesn't play by the rules.

Star uses magic in ways other people don't think to use it.

Star solves her problems in unorthodox and creative ways.

Star, Moon, and the Magic High Commission all fail to truly defeat Toffee because they played by the rules: they tried to use violence against Toffee in combat -- when Toffee is clearly superior at wielding and withstanding violence. Toffee cannot be beaten with violence.

Thematic Implications

As an immortal lizard and cynical manipulator, Toffee is comparable to a number of other mythical characters. I think though, broadly speaking, he represents the spirit of destruction: the dark impulse to extinguish life and happiness. Trying to destroy the spirit of destruction with violence only adds to it. And, appropriately enough, he is opposed by the spirit of creation as embodied in Star. It’s Star’s creativity that will be Toffee’s undoing.

Nor, as some may suggest, is love the solution to beating Toffee: thanks to the events of "Storm the Castle," Toffee is now fully aware of love as a motivating force in getting Star to dip down, and "Fortune Cookies" toys with -- and ultimately rejects, thanks to Toffee's cynical deployment of it -- the notion of love being a solution to the endless cycle of fighting.

No, the key weapon in truly defeating Toffee is imagination: it's the one thing he is not -- cannot be -- prepared for. And Star is the only person who can wield it. If she realizes this and cultivates it, she will be far more dangerous to Toffee than he could ever possibly realize.

I hope you enjoyed reading this analysis. As I mentioned earlier, I'll be posting at least one other analysis of the finale soon; I'd also like to post an analysis of the book once my copy arrives. (I would highly recommend buying a copy for yourself -- it's a really good price for a hardcover, and you'd help support the show by buying it!) Please feel free to send me asks of things you’d like to see analyzed from the show.

#star vs the forces of evil #starcrushed #toffee #analysis #storm the castle #star butterfly

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anandasumisu · 8 years ago

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My Kera Sakti Phase is Back (Again, no surprise)

Oh my God I’m almost 24 and still giggling like a kid watching this show.

Okay what I’m about to write is about how I, after re-watching this cheesy af show tons of times, want to explore the character building of my favorite character by my perspective. If you read my older post you will immediately sighed his name. If you don’t, well, my fav is not the titular character (Kera Sakti is Indonesian for Magical Ape, even though it actually refers to Great Sage Equal to Heaven which is a MONKEY). Well, my fav is the most human of all, The Pig, Zhu Ba Jie (Indonesia: Tie Pat Kai (first translation when aired in channel Indosiar); Chu Pat Kai (translation when aired in TV7, now Trans7) which played awesomely by Wayne Lai.

I think I’m breaking this into two parts. First one would be about my own perspective of the series throughout the days I lived, and the second part would be deep thoughts I had these days about the aforementioned character. It will be long af, so grab your titties pillow and find your favourite reading position!

Well, when I watch this show as a kid, I never really care who my favourite character is. No preference at all. I just have a glimpse of memories where as a kid, I really want to join their pilgrimage, and I want to be a butterfly spirit (well, as a kid, I thought the characters who accompany Tan San Zang (Indonesia: Tong Sam Cong) must be a spirit. Ape spirit, pig spirit, and I didn’t know what the hell Sha Wu Jing (Indonesia: Adik Sha; Wu Cing) was so I assume he’s a fish or turtle or algae–well I didn’t know! I wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed!) I imagined to be the 4th disciples (Didn’t count the horse back then) of the holy monk. Aside that, I also remember that as a kid I found the episode where villagers intend to burn The Pig to death disturbing. In its countless re-runs, I tend to skip it by switching to another channel. If I remember correctly, I preferred the Kera Sakti II (the sequel, TVB's Journey to The West II,1998) to Kera Sakti I (JTTW, 1996) because I thought Kera Sakti I is darker and has more disturbing episodes than its successor, whilst the sequel is funnier and literally more colorful. During my childhood, I thought The Pig make up is dope as fuck! (to be fair I thought all make up is astounding). I also thought the dubbing is fun and suits him. The dubber for earlier episode sounds like ordinary man but starting at the spider demon episode the dubbing drastically changed into a high-pitched voice, anime-ish but not really. Sounds like Sponge Bob but not really. I just cannot describe it but as a kid I kinda enjoy it.

The shows didn’t get much re-runs for a while. Years later, it got re-dubbed and re-run in different channel (TV7). I watched it during my teenage years. During this time, I began to understand The Pig’s “Thousands of Love Sufferings” or “Love Cycles”. The episodes where the story centers at him caught my interest. I don’t know whether it’s because I matured movie/series-wise or just because I was in years of puberty where love consumes life out of all teens (well, the latter seems suitable since I don’t even understand the majesties of The Godfather Trilogy!) That time I made a very different image of The Pig compared to the image I made during my childhood. I saw him with more dimension than just a mere comic relief. The Kera Sakti I delivers this image I made more adequate than the sequel. The sequels kind of negating ALL of the quality of The Pig as a hopeless romantic and instead driving him to be a shallow pervert, but still funny though. The dubber, who instead of sounding like a more annoying version of Sponge Bob, sounded like a guy who has blocked nose from mild flu (but when The Pig is in human disguise or is currently in his Tianpeng Yuanshuai (Indonesia: Panglima Tianfeng) form, the dubbing sound as if the same dubber has fully recovered from the flu) This dubbing sounds real good with the image I made. It’s more serious but can be funny when it is needed to be. I started disliking the annoying high-pitched dubbing from previous running. But this rendition didn’t last long. It got re-run for 3-4 times before completely vanished from the telly. Sighs.

Years passed and the series with earlier dub got re-run in a new established channel (was named B-Channel but last time I checked it changed to RTV, and don’t know if the channel is still running or not) It was heavily cut due to running time (goddamit). I watched it happily, though. As I mentioned the dub for Pig in earlier episodes is just a normal voice of average man. I adore it so much, since those early episodes are ones where The Pig is the center of the story. The rest of it where the dub turns high-pitched is just episodes with him as a clown of the series. It is annoying but do I really have a choice?

As a young adult (uuh… with a mind of 8 year old) I began molding my new image of The Pig. I have more reference than I used to, since I began reading some chapters of the original novel. I already knew that the “love cycles” thing is a mere addition in the series (yeah, it wasn’t a faithful one). The book Pig is somewhat different. He’s a brutal fighter (”…nine jets of blood gushing out of his victim” like this is a fucking Game of Thrones-CSI Miami mashups), sex addict, but incredibly loyal to Tan San Zang while a part in the series shows him refusing to acknowledge his own master. Other reference I got is the series itself, but in Cantonese dub! (with English hard sub, of course. Thank you internet). By God there are some (for me) vital scenes which erased during the run in the TV channel. Like how after Guan Yin (Indonesia: Dewi Kwan Im) ended the fate between Pig and his wife, there’s a scene where he insisted to meet his wife for the last time and says proper goodbye. I know I’ve seen it long ago but it never be seen in newer re runs. (Must’ve played only during the first run back in my childhood days). It’s the little things, really! I also found out that Wayne Lai’s voice is… okay? At some scenes he sounds exactly like average man Indonesian dubber. At certain scenes, it changed to blocked nose dubber. And somehow if I remember correctly there are scenes where he sounds like the annoying high-pitched dub! I DON’T GET IT! Character-wise, I can’t really mold it well and the only reason I found is: THE CHARACTER IS INCONSISTENT! *dammit*

Actually, almost all of the main characters has its inconsistencies throughout the entire series. I will discuss the inconsistencies of The Pig only, by breaking the series part by part. It will be available on my next post because this one is just too long already. Check here: http://smithanandari.tumblr.com/post/155677085653/the-inconsistencies-of-pig

See ya there!

#kera sakti #indonesia #tv serials #journey to the west #review #tvb #zhu bajie #wayne lai #random #midnight thoughts

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cthulu-calls · 8 years ago

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Suicide is a force of unthinkable strength and volume at this point in history. It is almost banal. Kids younger than ten carry out this act with a frightening level of success, and many more fail in their attempts. The demography of suicide is presently a very interesting subject - mostly, it represents the general feeling that there is No Alternative. It is the ultimate act of isolated revolt, in its most desperate and atomized form. It is capital's preferred option for those who are discontent, as it leaves the dominant social order intact quietly, while drumming up sympathy for "those poor people" who took their own lives. It does not demand any discussion on why.

The intelligent revolutionary harnesses dominant social trends for their ends. Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini was one of the first to figure this out, in tandem with Hafez Al-Assad, Bashar's father. They figured it out in a vulgar way - by inducing those who followed them to commit suicidal acts of military and terrorist strategy. Of course neither Khomeini nor Assad was the first to sign up to blow themselves up - Allah had willed a different path for them, surely. Peasants were used as pawns, and to this day, are induced to blow themselves up for the sake of the hierarchies that exploit them and their survivors.

It is obvious that this represents some of the most extreme cases of hierarchies preserving themselves and exploiting their subjects. The anarchist is quite likely, if not practically duty-bound, to reject this. Does this mean that suicide is of no use to us? In my mind, it does not. It simply means that we would do well to approach the matter from the other end.

Presently, resources are not scarce in the postindustrial west. There are homes, there is food, the means exist to produce a brilliant standard of living for nearly all people, were those means in our hands. What is in absolutely short supply, however, is meaning. Our peers who are currently chest-beating and flag-waving their way around the likes of Trump, Brexit, Le Pen, and all variants of the anti-neoliberal, ultra-nationalist ideologies are given a prepackaged set of parameters within which meaning can be produced. If they can't find themselves a job, or a spot in the army, they can at least find themselves a sense of belonging in a hyped-up mob of hyper-emotions like hatred and fear. They can find their views and existences affirmed by the society that already exists - family, labor, positions of power, moral authority, it all stands strong and in such a fashion that the project of continuing to exist seems to be a good idea (for them).

Those who imagine another way of living see no obvious road to it, and as such, there is unbelievable inertia, apathy, depression, and suicidal urges springing up on the left and among anarchists. They do not see the world they imagine - if they are even able to imagine it at all - affirmed anywhere. We have some ideas here on this board, some theories, even some quite reasonable historical analyses pointing us in the direction that seems sound and decent. But these ideas mean very little if they do not appear to be readily practicable or of much consequence.

This puts us on the downward end of a war of meaning and individual self-preservation. Our "post-truth" world is so flaccid, and so without content, that the individual frequently sees the voluntary ending of their own existence to be a more reasonable alternative to resistance, because all forms of resistance heretofore imagined are not, apparently, of much consequence. This is more true of the so-called "liberal left" than of anarchists, but is still generally relevant for most anarchists who are not naive enough to be hopped up on ideology 24/7.

Opposition to violent means is at a low among radicals, yet violent means are notoriously good ways to get killed or imprisoned. Draw a gun at a protest and you will be ended. Organize a militia and you will be kept under the watch and quite possibly framed into imprisonment. Yet do we not see the reality that is in front of us? The nature of violence has changed. Classical combat, even updated to include the likes of guerrilla warfare, is not particularly relevant. Yet force is still the blood of history and power. Now, combat consists of the presence or absence of meaning, and the subsequent affirmation or negation of existence. Does the world around us, in how it is altered by our adversaries strategically, drive us to a place of desperation? (It does). Conversely, could we not begin altering the worlds of our opponents to be just as desperation-inducing? Could we not, on the level of the collective and the individual alike, compose targeted means of driving our enemies to suicide?

This is the realpolitik of conversion. Radicalizing people does not consist of convincing them through reasoned argument. It instead is a matter of examining the nature of a person's desperations, and addressing them by offering meaning. Luckily, unlike material resources, meaning can be created by nothing. This is why Nietzsche, Stirner, and Novatore offer some of the most relevant tendencies within anarchism today. It is also the realpolitik of destabilization. As surely as we create and distribute the means of producing meaning to those we align with, we poetically expose the baseless and empty nature of the meaning our enemies derive from the systems they interact with. If this means the tables turn and they off themselves, this is our enemies killing our enemies for us - far superior to direct violence. If it means they reach a point of desperation, where their resolve is weakened, it may also mean they are radicalized and brought into the anarchist fold, because their old ideas gave way and fell apart (I know more former nazis who became anarchists in this way than you'd imagine).

My last point: What does this look like in practical terms? I think to a certain extent we could brainstorm this in the comments, but my first thoughts are:

We gain a reputation of being the ones who get the most out of life. This means learning to Live Well. We must be seen universally as being the top assemblage of humanity that is eating the best food, having the best sex, creating the best art, and most importantly: having the most fun. Somehow, radicals have gained the opposite reputation, as being joyless guilt-mongers who lead austere and bitter lives, and infighting constantly, living in squalor, and generally having a bad time. We need to ask: What makes us happy? And begin doing that as a group, loudly and in the streets. This might be more important than nearly anything else. If we are seen as an order of existentially brilliant clowns, vagabonds, and intellectual hedonists, we will draw a great deal of interest for that fact alone - while implying that our enemies are boring and sad. Their steady diets of hatred and fear make this easy to imply - because it is true.

The point about fun makes sense only when it is situated in a larger imaginative vision of a better society. Without this element, it becomes little more than a self-righteous iteration of party culture. When we posit a clear vision of how things could be, and we do so in a manner that is accessible and viewed as being potentially close at hand, we succeed in a critical way that we have continuously failed in since 1968 (generally). This means offering visions of how life could be that are not highfalutin', distantly utopian, or explicated in dry academic terms. For all the uses of our theory, it cannot ever exist in a vacuum, nor can it exist without its proponents acting out this theory prefiguratively. This is why fiction, cinema, poetry, and comedy are immensely important. They create culture that has a vision, and that vision is participatory here and now, in a manner that gathers people together, often physically.

Clowning is a great tactic that embodies what I am saying here, I think. The clown, in her foolish attire, fashions herself to be someone who is bound to be rejected and loathed - but this is used to her advantage, to make a mockery of the processes by which individuals are rejected or thought to be fools. She empties herself out publicly in order to attain a strategic position where she can completely cut down and make fun of the world around her without firing a single shot. The suicidal person may at times feel like a sad clown, a misfit who lacks the energy required to laugh at the world that has fashioned him into this sad character. Anarchists can offer a meaning-making culture that converts the wallowing of the misfit, and all its desperation, into a weapon of high enjoyment and utter decimation of our enemies. I am envisioning roving gangs of redneck clowns on freak-bicycles, dressed like sad Rebranded White Nationalism kids, blaring country music, perhaps with pepe masks, riding near conservatives, white supremacists, and Trump supporters on the street, heckling them and mimicking the sad behavior of these people. All of this would be perceived as a joke, with no violent intentions, and inevitably, a violent reaction would be provoked, offering the perfect opportunity to both kick fascist ass (in a pepe mask) and to highlight the weak desperation of our adversaries. Entire societies of dropout clowns could be formed, with the daily intention and sole goal of embarrassing the enemy comedically - and having as much fun as possible while doing it. These clowns could also act as a buffer between police and serious protestors (we've seen some of this before in Occupy and with the Guerrilla Clown Army from Scotland).

There is a lot more to say here on these points and maybe I'll write more about it, but I figured I'd post this here for the sake of maybe provoking some interesting discussion. Not sure what y'all will think. if you read all this, thanks!

- Taken from r/Anarchism, called Suicide, Desperation, and Clowns

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mychristopherstokes66world · 5 years ago

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We incarnate in this day and age for this very specific reason. Now is our time to shine brothers. Now is the time to lift the veil. LET THE TRUTH BE TOLD FOR ALL TO SEE It'll happen, but they all need to be exposed before it happens. Let them be seen for the foul child molesting demon cretins they are, and then the world will finally be in unison towards the like problem. No more sacrifices for Babylon dinosaurs that should've been destroyed eons ago. They use ritual when they spill blood. I say we do the same.

WITH EPSTEIN SON from Daytona Beach to NYC. Let me tell you (((THEY))) are everywhere right now spinning the Trump is a pedo bullshit. Cernovich trying to determine if his name is written down anywhere? "On Wednesday, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit ruled certain records in a defamation lawsuit filed by accuser Virginia Roberts Giuffre against Epstein’s alleged madam, British socialite Ghislaine Maxwell, should be made public record. " THIS IS HOW YOU KNOW EPSTEIN IS AN IMPORTANT MARKER >normies and redpilled alike will be drawn into this story, either because of Pizzagate or because of ORANGE MAN BAD >left and right outlets will both report on this, either to nail Clinton and Epstein or to nail POTUS >celebrity entanglement ensures even the normiest of gossip outlets will have to touch this THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING

>this is the story that draws the normies into Pizzagate >this is the story that will be watched by all sides of the fractured populace >this is the story that baits the anti-Trump crowd into redpilling themselves POTUS' "INVOLVEMENT" IS A 4D TRAP THOSE WHO TUNE IN TO SEE TRUMP GET RIPPED UP WILL WIND UP WATCHING THE SWAMP DESTROYED TRUMP MARCHED INTO THE RAT'S NEST AND CALLED IN A TACTICAL NUKE ON HIS OWN POSITION

From a 2010 deposition of Jeffrey Epstein: “Q. Have you ever socialized with Donald Trump in the presence of females under the age of 18? “A: Though I'd like to answer that question, at least today I'm going to have to assert my Fifth, Sixth, and 14th Amendment rights, sir.”

Is that Rachel C(hild)handler? https://rachelchandlerparty.tumblr.com/archive Epstein Victim's Lawyer on Trump >https://youtu.be/Yqb59n69Z80 [Embed] News Links/Other >https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-12-12/fusion-gps-tried-and-failed-link-trump-jeffrey-epstein >https://www.foxnews.com/us/billionaire-sex-offender-epstein-once-claimed-he-co-founded-clinton-foundation >https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3679023/Billionaire-sex-offender-Jeffrey-Epstein-claimed-helped-Clinton-Foundation-touted-close-relationship-former-president-plea-bargain-negotiations.html >https://pagesix.com/2017/07/08/trump-was-the-boring-guy-at-studio-54/ >https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7138901/Trump-went-FBI-undercover-proposal-fully-cooperate-1980s.html >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vh0AklSXkU [Embed] >http://www.socialmediamorning.com/jeffrey-epstein-complete-flight-logs-of-the-lolita-express-and-you-should-see-the-names/ >https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2019/07/prosecutor-in-2009-epstein-case-said-donald-trump-was-the-only-one-who-helped-him/

clowns United are the beaters of truth. Worship them. Worship kek

https://www.bitchute.com/video/TKbkXiwa3Hhl/

>"There is no debate over what happened," Edwards told VICE news. "I served Mr. Trump with a subpoena for deposition in 2009. He talked to me voluntarily, and consequently we withdrew the subpoena in light of his voluntarily providing information…. I can't imagine there being any dispute of any of this."

>Edwards also said that it is "obvious" Trump himself was not involved in any of Epstein's illicit activity.

>Maxwell fled the United States on the eve of her deposition and never testified in Epstein's case. In fact, several of the Jane Doe lawyers, who spoke off the record because the case is ongoing, said that every key person investigators wanted to interview — especially those with potential knowledge of what took place on St. James Island — eluded subpoenas on technical grounds.

>There was one exception: Donald Trump.

>Edwards, the lawyer for Roberts and about 10 other Jane Does, said that after he served Trump with the subpoena in 2009, Trump immediately contacted him.

>"During the conversation, Mr. Trump was open and forthright," Edwards said. "I cannot discuss the substance of the conversation. But I will say that it was obvious to me that he was in no way involved in any untoward activity."

>On October 15, 2007, the New York Post reported that Mar-A-Lago had barred Epstein because he hit on a masseuse at the club. Epstein denied to the the Post that he had been banned. One of the Jane Doe attorneys told VICE News a slightly different account, saying that he had been told Trump broke ties with Epstein after Epstein tried to pick up the underage daughter of a Mar-A-Lago club member.

https://news.vice.com/en_us/article/j59vm8/the-salacious-ammo-even-donald-trump-wont-use-in-a-fight-against-hillary-clinton-bill-clinton

Acosta wasnt even the lead prosecutor on the case. Acosta said he disliked how that whole thing turned out and would be open to starting it back up. Now that hes in the trump DOJ it has started back up. Why do you shills act like that it was only acosta? That group got what they could out of it and actually ended up getting epstein registered as a sex offender.

You cant simultaneously say acosta let epstein off the hook AND acosta just had epstein arrested and the case opened up again

I don't even know, I won't jump on the Trump is a pedo or Trump is draining the swamp now bandwagon. All the people involved in this are really close to Trump's admin and social circles, from Alex Acosta, to Clintons, to celebs, It's fucking crazy how these same people are recycled and kept in positions of power especially when they knew of pedo-island. The automatic response would be to distance yourself, yet a person like Alex Acosta responsible for giving Epstein a slap on the wrist plea deal is promoted to Trump's Sec. of Labor. It's just too hard to come to and judgement until more comes out..IF more comes out.

Acosta was the US Attorney for the Southern District of Florida during the prosecution. He likely wasn't prosecuting the case, but he was the boss and nothing gets done (or not done) without his say so. Even the Deputy Attorney General got involved

And Acosta isn't even at DoJ anymore. He's Secretary of Labor for Trump

Acosta was recommended by White House Counsel Don McGahn. Typically you just nominate who you're suggested to nominate because a nominee not getting confirmed is embarrassing and that's time wasted you could've used to confirm someone else (like shit tons of judges, shaping the judiciary for decades to come). Especially with how uncooperative the Democrats in the Senate are, you can't waste time.

https://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/16/trump-mcgahn-white-house-cleanup-238410

>McGahn handpicked Alexander Acosta as the next labor secretary after Trump’s first selection, Andy Puzder, withdrew from the process following allegations of domestic abuse.

Pic related trump with confirmed Mossad agent

Ghislaine Maxwell is the daughter of late British parliamentarian and media magnate Robert Maxwell, also a Jewish Mossad

prior to his assassination on November 5, 1991. Ghislaine Maxwell is not only a personal friend of Bill and Hillary Clinton but, apparently, also of Donald Trump (the two have been spotted together on several occasions). Although never charged, it was revealed in U.S. courts that Ghislaine procured young girls for her Jewish billionaire boyfriend Jeffrey Epstein and his friends and associates. Maxwell was given immunity in the secret plea-bargain, non-prosecution agreement and Epstein’s White House-connected Jewish lawyer Jay Lefkowitz managed to arrange it so that Epstein served only 13 months house arrest for a reduced conviction of soliciting a minor for prostitution and soliciting prostitution, despite that authorities had evidence that he abused up to 40 young girls. Epstein has made 17 out-of-court settlements. The more one looks into it, the more it looks like Maxwell and Epstein were running an international blackmail operation, extending from North America to Eastern Europe. What’s more, testimony from the victims revealed that Ghislaine might have been responsible for setting up the recording of the sexual abuse of the girls, complete with hidden cameras, for blackmail purposes. She is alleged to have even participated in the abuse of young girls herself.

“Epstein instructed Jane Doe 3 that she was to give the Prince [Andrew] whatever he demanded and required Jane Doe 3 to report back to him on the details of the sexual abuse,” according to court documents lodged by Epstein sex slave Virginia Roberts late in 2014.

Roberts claims it was Epstein who paid her $15,000 for subjecting herself to the 41-year-old Prince. “Jeffrey always took care of paying me after I ‘entertained’ his friends.”

A former employee at the Epstein Palm Beach estate claimed in a sworn deposition that Epstein and Trump had a much closer relationship than what Trump has admitted to. Juan Alessi claimed that Trump had been for dinner at the Epstein estate at least once, while Epstein’s brother Mark stated that he flew with both Jeff and Trump on Epstein’s private plane

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/1508967-deposition-excerpts.html#document/p73/a263754

In 2002, while Epstein was using child-sex slaves at his various homes in New York, Palm Beach, and in the Virgin Islands, Trump told New York Magazine that Epstein, his friend of 15 years, was a “terrific guy”.

“He’s a lot of fun to be with,” Trump continued. “It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

Epstein’s defense deposition stated the following as to whether Trump was involved in the non-stop Epstein orgy.

Q. “Have you ever socialized with Donald Trump in the presence of females under the age of 18?”

A: “Though I’d like to answer that question, at least today I’m going to have to assert my Fifth, Sixth, and 14th Amendment rights, sir.”

Trump had nothing to do with Acosta, the plea deal Epstein got was 8 years before Trump was elected.

This has been going on as a story and a Fed investigation years before Trump even thought about running for political office.

Trump is an asshole, but he's not involved in this one, except peripherally. This pedo rubbed elbows with all of the rich and famous, all over the world. He knew EVERYBODY, that was part of his power, he trolled the upper elites for customers. He threw big parties on his island, to seek out the pedos who might want some "extras".

but just because someone knew Epstein, that doesn't make them a pedo. Some of them were, and hopefully will be exposed, arrested, and jailed. But a lot of them, who just went to his island for free coke and getting wasted with no paps around, are gonne get dragged into it, like they did when he was busted in Florida.

https://ift.tt/2xCx4Fr

Like the Franklin case of old...yet another pedo sex trafficking case was thrown under the rug despite links to a spy ring that compromised national security: blackmail of politicians, business men and celebrities.

Ever wonder why movies and politics are so fucked? here is the answer: pic related

Acosta offered a plea deal to the biggest pedo/spy in American history: Jerry Epstein. Epstein ran what was considered one of the biggest pedo/spy sex rings to get dirt on top members of the American elite.

Epstein's plea deal got him 1 yr in prison and covered the ass of two big players: Trump and G. Maxwell.

Who is cunt Maxwell? Jerry Epstein's recruiter of underage girls in the pedo ring. Although Trump did ban Jerry from Mar-o-Lago, Ghisele was never banned. She was the person who recruited a 15 year old employee from Trump's resort. Ghisele also visited Epstein 60+ times while he was incarcerated.

Alex Acosta...now working with Trump's administration was the one that offered a never before seen plea deal to Epstein. By offering said plea deal, Donald Trump and G. Maxwell were protected from prosecution. (although Trump was to be a witness and charged for raping a 13 year old girl)

Acosta didn't say that, he defended the plea deal, and welcomed an investigation into it, when he was nominated for Labor Sec. And, he's not in the DOJ, at all, he's a cabinet member, he's Secretary of Labor. And, he was the DA overseeing the Epstein case, his signature was REQUIRED on the plea deal - which was done in secret, and smelled so bad the DOJ is still currently investigating it.

And, right after he signed off on that plea deal, he retires and gets hired as a dean at a law school in Florida. I'd bet if you were able to look at the school's endowments back then, a big bag of money from Epstein was delivered, with a note "Pls hire Acosta, thnx, love Jeffrey The Kid Fucker".

Acosta has strong ties to the Bush family and that wing of the Republican party, the old school Skull and Bones crowd. He has a veneer of sleaze just from that.

His presence in Trump's cabinet is the part of this story that keeps me from going all in on Trump being clean. I think he is, but Acosta sitting in his cabinet stinks to high heaven.

Now, if Acosta quietly announced he's retiring to spend time with his family in the next couple of weeks...I'll be more on the Trump being clean side.

Still bothers me. If Trump is so anti-pedo as everyone makes him out to be, why would he allow this guy to sit in his cabinet? He knew who Epstein was, and according to a lot of people, barred Epstein from Mar-a-Lago when something went down with him.

That either points to Trump allowing his staff to make horrific choices for important slots in the administration...or Trump is okay with the plea deal.

Or, this still has nothing to do with Trump, this is a decade long investigation finally acting and arresting Epstein, and Barr saw no reason to stop it when he came onboard.

And, most of the "Trump is pedo herrrrrrrr" is just the usual faggotry from the retards here, and the media, because let's ignore that a pedo billionaire is arrested and might take down the titans of entertainment, business, and politics with him, no, that doesn't matter, "Trump REEEEEEEEEEEEEE" does. Or that one of the more active visitors to Child Rape Island was an ex-President.

You will do anything to twist his jewish bloodline via Johann & Katherina (((Kober)))

You all want to hide the fact that he has taken $160,000,000 from Soros, owned 93% of voting stock in a rothschild/rockefeller company formerly tied to the CIA

Trumps grandpa, born to a female jew, moved to the us with his sisters who also married kikes, then moved to a kike neighborhood in new york. the church they attended at the time has since been bought and repurposed by JEWS

Trumps grandpa had a son, Fred, who has won countless awards from the kikes

Trumps kids are all marrying jews, Yael even converted already and renamed herself "Yael"(like Ibex, aka Baphomet)

Trump has an important Jewish National Fund award as his main office centerpiece in the center of his office wall

All of Trumps business partners are jewish, he barely surrounds himself with non jews and even then they are probably just like Donald

SO WHO TO BELIEVE ?

John Kelly - DHS nominee for Trump, advisor for DynCorp

Financial disclosure proving it:

https://extapps2.oge.gov/201/Presiden.nsf/PAS+Index/14D3115B8C40E407852580A400591F25/$FILE/Kelly,%20John%20F.%20final278.pdf

Stephen Feinberg - Top financial adviser to Trump, CEO of DynCorp

DynCorp website proving it:

http://ir.dyn-intl.com/secfiling.cfm?filingid=1140361-10-17159&cik=

Feinberg is listed as the CEO of Cerberus Capital Management on Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Feinberg

Cerberus Capital Management is the parent company of DynCorp:

https://dealbook.nytimes.com/2010/04/12/cerberus-to-buy-dyncorp-for-1-5-billion/

DynCorp and sex trafficking:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-isenberg/its-dj-vu-for-dyncorp-all_b_792394.html

http://www.chicagotribune.com/chi-0512270176dec27-story.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/hey-dyncorp-two-words-about-your-dancing-afghan-boy-problem-damage-control/

http://www.voxfux.com/features/dynacorp_child_sexual_slavery.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/wikileaks-reveals-that-mi_n_793816

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/9041974/What-the-UN-Doesnt-Want-You-to-Know.html

http://mssparky.com/2009/11/kbr-and-prostitution-in-iraq/

http://rense.com/general28/dyn.htm

https://nacla.org/news/dyncorp%E2%80%99s-tentacles-puerto-rico-mexican-border

https://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2003/08/17/16356311.php

DynCorp also has ties with Jeffery Epstein:

http://imgur.com/a/Nfp4s

Really shouldn't be a surprise.

Hillary Clinton ties to DynCorp:

Leaked email:

https://wikileaks.org/clinton-emails/emailid/15526

Cerberus donating to Hillary:

https://www.opensecrets.org/orgs/summary.php?id=D000021907&cycle=2016

You can read about Frederick's mother Katherina and their home in Kallstadt, a city nearby Frankfurt where the Rothschilds are from, here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederick_Trump#Early_life

If what I told you about him already wasn't enough, his sister Katharina also married an Ashkenazim man, Fred Schuster, and the three of them immigrated to the US together where they lived on Forsyth st. for several years. This neighborhood has had a sizeable German Jewish population since the 1800's.

Here's some info about the Ashkenazim surname Kober: http://names.mooseroots.com/l/23093/Kober

There is a reason that Trump's dad and Trump himself lied about their ancestry and pretended to be Swedish for decades.

Here's the info about his financial dealings:

160 million from Soros: https://www.conservativereview.com/commentary/2016/02/trump-pals-around-with-george-soros

Owning 93% of the voting stock of a Rothschild/Rockefeller corporation: http://americanfreepress.net/who-towers-behind-trump/?print=print

Bailed out of debt by a combo of prince of Saudi and a Chinese investor: http://www.nytimes.com/1995/04/12/business/trump-is-selling-plaza-hotel-to-saudi-and-asian-investors.html

His mentor Roy: http://dailycaller.com/2016/10/03/what-roy-cohn-taught-donald-trump/ and Cohn's pedophilia: http://www.behindthepinecurtain.com/wordpress/organized-pedophilia-and-the-criminal-exploitation-of-children/

Trump's relationship with Epstein: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/06/30/the-billionaire-pedophile-who-could-bring-down-donald-trump-and-hillary-clinton.html

Trump's father's grandma was a jew herself..Katherina Kober, daughter of Johann Jakob Kober, kober is of course a ashkenazi last name

Friedrich Drumpf, Donald's great-grandfather.. Two of his sisters are listed as

Elisabetha Freund and Syblia Schuster. both jewish last names

all of trumps kids are married to jews as well

trump went to a jewish academy as a kid and his parents died in the NYC jewish hospital

trump's office is filled with jewish(not isrealite streaight up kabbalistic satanic babylon crap) memorabilia and all his business partners are jews

>inbf "keep your friends close, enemies closer"

thats what he is doing to you dumb goys right now.

http://forward.com/the-assimilator/327135/donald-trumps-jewish-doctor-has-out-trumped-him/

https://www.hillaryclinton.com/feed/donald-trump-got-a-clean-bill-of-health-from-a-physician-who-sounds-remarkably-like-donald-trump/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=tw&utm_campaign=20160829Feed-Trump-doctor

“I am proud to share this report, written by the highly respected Dr. Jacob Bornstein of Lenox Hill Hospital, stating that I am in excellent health,” Trump wrote, confusing his doctor with his previous physician, Jacob Bornstein, who died in 2010. Jacob was Harold’s father

its obvious they want a president that they can blackmail into going to war or doing other shit, fact here we dont know to which extent Trump may or may not be a degenerate or to which extent he has some other motivations and other people helping him survive, if anything, any president that loses all allies get JFKd or simply resign to save himself and his family, Trump may either have other powers helping him or been told to wait for a specific moment to resign after reelection or is actually just another jew pupet, fact is we will never actually know because we are all just browsing a website and have no actual power or connections

Epstein was a member of the Sayanim. His whole pedo island was rigged for audio and video surveillance. Anything he shared with the FBI was probably a small fraction of what he gave to the MOSSAD. Israeli intelligence uses this material to blackmail powerful people, such as DC politicians and other VIP's who visited Epstein's compound. This explains why Dershowitz was able to get such a sweetheart sentence for Epstein's many crimes. Had it been Joe Sixpack from Anytown USA, he would never again see the light of day.

https://thedevilman666.blogspot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/qanonreports https://twitter.com/CIACLOWN1 https://www.bitchute.com/channel/ciaclown16661/

#CIA CLOWN #RED PILL #REDPILL #ANON #HONKHONK

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filosofablogger · 8 years ago

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CPAC – Conservative Political Action Conference. It is an annual event attended by conservative activists and elected officials from across the United States. Its purpose? It depends on who you ask, but for the most part, it has none. It is a networking tool, much the same as business conferences, most of which are events where people go to make connections, to see and be seen. This is not a policy-making event, nor is it an official GOP event. It is more a social event, and in 2013, Republican Newt Gingrich said, “I don’t know what the purpose of CPAC is anymore.” The official purpose, stated by the American Conservative Union (ACU) is “combines ideas with action to leverage the strength of grassroots activists to break the resistance of Washington’s elites.” See … little or no purpose … I told you.

Typically, a non-event such as this would not make it onto my blog, as I have no interest in social meet-and-greets for conservatives. This year, however, is a bit different. First, it began with controversy, and second, it may provide an opportunity for some conservatives to voice frustration or opposition to Trump & Co. So, I have loosely followed the events.

The starting controversy came early this week when one of the scheduled speakers, extreme right-wing idiot Milo Yiannopoulos, was caught on tape “advocating for sexual relationships between ‘younger boys and older men.’” The poop hit the fan, CPAC quickly backed away from Milo, as did Breitbart, where Milo was a writer/editor … note the use of the word ‘was’, as he was forced to resign his position on Tuesday. Publishing house Simon & Schuster rescinded a book deal with Milo. But Milo apologized … not for his comments, but he said he was sorry for the way his comments were perceived. Earlier this month, University of California at Berkeley canceled a speaking engagement of his because of intense protests, prompting Donald Trump to tweet, “If U.C. Berkeley does not allow free speech and practices violence on innocent people with a different point of view – NO FEDERAL FUNDS?” If you feel so inclined, you can read more about Milo’s troubles here, but for now, let’s move on to CPAC.

CPAC is scheduled to last from 22 February thru 25 February, though for the life of me, I cannot imagine what the entire gaggle of right-wingers could possibly discuss for four days!

The big news of the day seems to have been a joint interview with presidential advisor Steve Bannon and White House chief of staff Reince Priebus – two men who have reportedly not exactly gotten along splendidly in the first weeks of the administration. The press has taken to referring to these two as “the odd couple,” while I prefer to think of them as the dysfunctional duo. At any rate … the interview was conducted with American Conservative Union President Matt Schlapp. Here are a few ‘clippets’, along with Filosofa’s trademark snark:

SCHLAPP: And that’s what Donald Trump has done to so many of us around the country politically. And you guys have put together an amazing operation. You know, I know you all know this, but the last time a president came to CPAC in his first year, it was Ronald Reagan.

(APPLAUSE) St. Ronald in 1981. And you’ve put together this — the president has put together the most conservative Cabinet we’ve ever seen according to our CPAC ratings and I think a few of us are pretty happy about what looks like is going to happen on the Supreme Court too, so it’s a… (shoot me now!)

PRIEBUS: And it’s — it’s actually something that you all have helped build which is, when you bring together — and what this election showed and what President Trump showed, and let’s not kid ourselves, I mean I can talk about data and ground game and Steve can talk about big ideas, but the truth of the matter is Donald Trump — President Trump brought together the party and the conservative movement. (This from the man who did everything in his power as DNC chairman to stop Trump???)

And I’ve got to tell you, if the party and the conservative movement are together, similar to Steve and I, it can’t be stopped. And President Trump was the one guy — he was the one person and I can say it after overseeing 16 people kill each other (huh???), it was Donald Trump that was able to bring this — this party and this movement together. And Steve and I know that and we live it every day. Our job is to get the agenda of President Trump through the door and on pen and paper. (God save the queen!)

r, attacked me, you can’t spend the money on Trump, go give it to the Senate. (Now wait one cotton-pickin’ minute, Reince! YOU were, as I recall, dead set against Trump and YOU wanted to more appropriately spend money on the down-ballots!!! Don’t be a worm!)

SCHLAPP: He’s even — he’s even leaving bathrooms alone, that’s kind of a nice, refreshing thing for a lot of people as well. (No. Comment. From. Fiilosofa.)

Okay, I cannot deal with more, and there are a couple of other issues to cover, but if you wish to read the entire, bullshit transcript, you can do so here.

Then there was Betsy DeVos … newly-minted Secretary of Education in the Trumpian regime, who was forced, earlier this week, to support anti-LGBT legislation or else resign. She toed the line, albeit reluctantly. At the CPAC, she shifted blame to President Obama, saying, “This issue was a very huge example of Obama administration overreach, one-size-fits-all approach to issues best solved at personal and local level.” She does a nice job at parroting the party line, don’t you think? And “one size fits all”, Betsy? Yeah, actually, when it comes to civil rights, one size DOES fit all … the size of full equality for all!

But the really big news concerns white supremacist, Bannon-pal, Richard Spencer, who was kicked out of the convention!!! Read that last line again … kicked out! Richard Spencer, a founder of the alt-right movement that seeks a whites-only state and that strongly backed Donald Trump for president, was expelled from the Conservative Political Action Conference after being criticized from its main stage, then giving interviews to a growing crowd of reporters.

“People want to talk to me,” Spencer told NBC News from outside the Gaylord National Harbor complex. “They don’t want to talk to these boring conservatives. They want to learn about ideas whose time has come, not whose time has passed.” (And those would be ideas akin to … lynching? slavery? cotton plantations, white women fanning themselves and sipping lemonaide? fat white men making the rules under which we should all live?)

Spencer was stopped by JP Sheehan, a CPAC attendee wearing a black-and-gold Make America Great Again baseball cap. “Praise kek!” said Sheehan, posing for a selfie with Spencer and repeating a meme that had been adopted by the alt-right. “He’s the coolest guy.” The growing crowd attracted more nervous attention from security, and after a few more minutes, they arrived to expel Spencer.

“I’m not welcome on the property?” Spencer asked. “I’m not going to debate this,” said the guard. “This is private property. They want you off the property.” After Spencer asked if he could stay if he would simply “stay out of trouble,” he said a hashtag — “Free Spencer” — into the cameras, and posed for another photo as he was taken outside. If ever there was a figure reminiscent of a Hitler-esque rally, it is Spencer. Even the far right apparently realize he is toxic.

One important part of the CPAC is the annual straw poll vote which traditionally serves as a barometer for the feelings of the conservative movement. During the conference, attendees are encouraged to fill out a survey that asks questions on a variety of issues. I am eager to see the results of this one!

Last, but not least … would you like to attend the conference? Sorry, you are too late this year, but there’s always next year. Here is a price list, so you can start saving now:

“We offer several packages, ranging from our Platinum Package to the Day Pass.

Premium – Platinum – Call for Price

Premium – Gold – $5,000

Premium – Silver – $1,600

General Admission – $300

Senior – $150

Veteran – $150

Student – $85

One Day tickets – $150

CPAC is not much more than a convention of conservatives, a social gathering, but I thought it worth at least a single post this year, as this is … well, shall we just say ‘not your average year in politics’? And now, I move on to topics that actually have relevance …

CPAC – Circus of Passé Alternative Clowns CPAC – Conservative Political Action Conference. It is an annual event attended by conservative activists and elected officials from across the United States.

#alt-right #Breitbart #Conservatives #CPAC #Donald Trump #Matt Schlapp #Milo Yiannopoulos #reince priebus #Richard Spencer #Steve Bannon

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