#Joe Cruz x reader

[natti-ice]

One Chicago free use c.🤖!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

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I made free use character 🤖 for the men of the one Chicago universe, here are the links! This only includes Chicago fire and Chicago pd since I haven’t seen Chicago med yet.

Can also find all my characters on my acc @/ nattiice !

If you would like to request a character please feel free to send me an ask with a prompt! Please note that c.🤖 does not allow nsfw.

Chicago fire:

Kelly Severide

Matthew Casey

Christopher Herrmann

Joe Cruz

Brian “Otis” Zvonecek

Wallace Boden

Randall “Mouch” McHolland

Chicago PD:

Hank Voight

Jay Halstead

Adam Ruzek

Antonio Dawson

Alvin Olinsky

[cloveroctobers]

FEBRUARY FLUFF — CHICAGO FIRE.

A/N: do people still read for this show? Not what I originally planned for my final piece for my feb. fluffs but when you binge watch reality tv (Love is Blind) you can’t help but to redirect some place else right? Rip to that Kelly piece!!! Also this allows me to be all descriptive with a synopsis intertwined! + I’m only at the beginning of season 5 of Chicago Fire so I know I have a long way to go although I know some spoilers here and there…

In short: Chicago Fire meets Love is Blind.

S/N: this is lengthy!! So if you have the time to read this and interact, thank you! Also I apologize for joe’s being the shortest of the bunch—at least I think it is since there’s not nearly enough content of him up here. I didn’t want to hit the mark with writing this which I’ve surprisingly only done once on this site. I wanted to do hermann as a potential older contestant? Don’t know if that’s the right term but again didn’t want to over do it so maybe another time! Enjoy 😬

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[MATT CASEY.]

He originally had no interest signing up for this show despite some producers reaching out to him via emails + phone calls and kinda harassing him in person about it! but after careful thought and consideration, he went through with it. He’s not really into people giving their opinions about how he operates so being viewed by the world was another weird feeling regardless of his politician era!

Matt decides to be open after meeting some of the guys who share their perspectives and seeing some familiar faces that he didn’t expect to also be here.

He’s not really nervous, deciding to just go with the flow and actually takes it serious despite talking through a wall.

Matt Casey is a man who is willing and ready to settle down and that’s his goal. He’s not sure if this place or set up will bring that but he knows he has nothing to lose.

Most of his dates go well, they’re honest, driven—for the most part and somewhat humorous and he’s able to quickly narrow it down to picking you.

He’s as sure about you as you are with him. Conversations feel comfortable for Matt, your voice quickly putting him at ease although you joke that you’ll probably sound like shit once you look back on the footage. And he gives you butterflies whenever he says your name in greeting.

You’re the only ones choosing to continue going on dates with each other immediately and nobody else. They say when you know you just know right?

Matt shares his dating history but it doesn’t scare you away like he almost began to worry about. You share your history as well and nothing the both of you say in the pods is alarming for each other… besides the fact that he’s a firefighter.

Sure it’s an admirable profession and you assume he’s in good health but it also scares you a bit at the fact that you could be a widow one day because of his job.

Politics is unfortunately brought up too but you both don’t dive too much into it thankfully. You both know where you stand and he tells you that his time as a politician was a mess and not really his lane which you don’t doubt. NEVER would have guessed it tbh.

Conversations are always meaningful and you both don’t hesitate to share your values and future goals with each other.

You’re open and there’s no secrets: including family.

He’s the first to propose out of the men and you’re in tears since you wanted this for a long time. You say yes and are a bundle of nerves the rest of the night until you’re face to face.

The attraction is just as strong as it is in the pods and as for the appearance you only assumed he was a dark blonde—that’s about it.

Matt can’t stop staring at you and you have to remind him that he has to propose in person, which makes him blink harshly with a shake of his head, laughing to himself, patting his pockets until he finds the box.

It’s a halo teal sapphire oval engagement ring and it’s perfect.

You can’t help but to initiate the kiss and Matt wipes the faux sweat off his forehead after, happy that you took the initiative before gaining confidence to go forth with the next kiss. You note that he likes to hold the space of your back (a lot) while staring into your eyes along with you locking your arms around his shoulders.

The giddy feeling is mutual when you get back to the headquarters, sharing the deets to your temporary roommates/cast mates turned friends.

The pre honeymoon phase lets you physically be in tune with each other. You take note of each others routine. Matt is the early riser but you have to remind him that he’s on vacation and can stay in bed longer with you although it’s always instilled in him to be up early.

He likes sleeping with limbs tangled and being the big spoon, hand in the valley of your chest which you hold just underneath your chin while you sleep. He’s always on coffee and breakfast duty since you may sleep later but not too late.

He won’t make the bed if you’re the last one out of it but if you’re in the shower (badly singing) that’s not stopping him from plopping right back on it hands folded behind his head and ready to doze back off.

You catch him but he says, “what? I was just resting my eyes,” such a dad answer already! you both give each other a blank stare before he snorts first, making you laugh right with him before pecking his lips.

He’ll color coordinate with you but can’t say it’ll be a common thing unless you’re going to events together or it happens on accident.

He checks in on you whether in the hotel room when it gets quiet or when you go down to meet everyone else before falling into separate conversations.

I don’t believe there would be any doubts between you two if you share similar goals and ofc not all things can be peachy!!!although everyone stamps their approval on your relationship. Not that either of you cared much tbh but you appreciate it regardless!

It’s when you ask about who’s the first person he’ll call to tell about your engagement that takes a bit of a turn. He doesn’t say it’s his mom but probably his niece who will obviously do the job of telling his sister which you kinda find cute but encourage him that talking to his mother and sister is important if you’re going to be in his life.

You’re aware of the disconnect that Matt has with his family but if you have kids you’d want your kids to know their father’s side of the family as well.

“What’s there to know? I already told you everything.”

“Matt.”

“…I’ll figure it out. Right now I just want to enjoy my person to be.”

“Nice save.”

“Right?” He winks, pulling you on top of him.

You don’t wait until your wedding night to have sex—unless you’re a traditional person then by all means he’ll respect your wishes although you make it very difficult and you know it. That doesn’t mean you can’t do other things!

He does end up calling his sister first and she thinks it’s a joke before Matt’s showing your face on screen. The casey’s are usually direct people but she’s polite in greeting you and can’t help to let out a few wtf’s and, “are you on something? Maybe politics rotted your brain with you deciding to go be involved in a cult?” when the screen is brought back to Matt.

You’re laughing at the look on Matt’s face because you’re sure you’ll get the same reaction from your family.

Diving back into what a regular lifestyle would be with Matt is an adjustment. He’s gone a lot as a lieutenant and you manage to see each other in the early mornings and late evenings. You’ll have your own job so you try not to let it bother you too much but coming home to a empty house allows you to debrief from a stressful day (which you don’t handle well, maybe you’re a crier when you get easily frustrated) but you still check in with a call or text to see how it’s going with your fiancé.

You agree to have date nights at least twice a month since having dinner together is tricky. Matt forgets sometimes :( but always makes up for it!

Matt’s great with his hands whether with construction (he’ll always fix something in the house or anything you purchase that arrives broken!) , firefighting, golf (which you find to be a complete snooze fest but you’ll tag along if Matt’s alone just to whip the golf cart around the course mainly but Matt’s fails to take your father/uncle/brother’s advice about letting you drive—earning you to get banned from the course. The owners are quite fond of Matt and didn’t have the heart to ban him but you? Had to stay out!) or let’s just say it, sex! Loves holding your hips to guide you just right, wrists above your head, or simply just holding your hands while he’s on top.

He learns you’re not the best driver—being heavy on the pedal (a few unpaid speeding tickets under your belt, just two or three tops!) but at least you excel at gymnastics and tennis?

I don’t see there being any or much drama with any other cast mates since you know how to solely focus on each other and communicate even if it’s something simple/minor.

Eventually Mrs. Casey will come around to meet you and you see where Matt gets his intense eye contact from. It runs in the family since you also got it from his sister but you handle it well. She has no issue drilling you to the point Matt has to tell his mom to back off since she doesn’t get the best mother of the year award.

See…there’s that bluntness you have to take in and hope you don’t get whiplash. You have to remind Matt to relax himself since he did say that he forgave his mother but sometimes the harshness still came out from all of them.

Picking your dress is what makes this more real for you, more than the ring and you know this is fast. The fastest you’ve ever gone in a relationship but when you think of marriage you think of someone like Matt so any worries you may feel seem to wash away—not completely but enough!

And they come right on back walking down the aisle, all eyes on you. Matt is so handsome, waiting at the end for you, carefully taking your hand in his and whispering how stunning you look.

When it comes to the vows is when Matt gets nervous that he refers back to his cheat sheet and you find that adorable along with him getting choked up at some parts telling you his promises. “…You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of this moment, getting the chance to be someone’s forever. Being beside you for the rest of time is all that I could have hoped for. You’re my walking dream and I can’t believe I had to go on tv just to find someone like you! Guess this worked out in our favor and I promise to love you and those other crappy shows you force me to watch for as long as I can. Which will be a long looooong time, by the way.”

There he goes making those butterflies flutter in your belly while also making you smile so wide that he can’t help but to match.

You go next and the words flow as you stare into his eyes, holding his stare while placing one hand on his chest. Your words are just as loving and Matt knows you’re genuine, you never not once shown him that you weren’t.

You both agree to get married with a dip of a kiss, a promise of love to infinity and that love is blind.

BONUS: definitely love slow dancing together and hand holding a lot + hand kisses, a honeymoon doesn’t happen right away—maybe a year later in Australia ;), you both purchase a house together after two years—a fixer upper 😒 that Matt has to convince you to get but it is the house style you’ve always wanted plus you were great at bargaining so you got it cheaper than the asking price, you’ll adopt a dog after six months of marriage since you babysat pouch one weekend and truly believed it was your destiny to be a dog parent first—no you didn’t discuss it with Matt deciding just to surprise him one day at home—you can only imagine how that went, and I get girl dad from Matt so I envision two girls + a boy…which was unexpected since you weren’t really trying the last time but argue amongst yourselves!

[BRIAN “OTIS” ZVONECEK.]

My baby! I want nothing but the best for you!!! Shut up, Don’t ruin it guys.

He’s down for the show and is the one to reach out to the producers after joe brings it to otis’ attention. He signs them BOTH up and joe is confused on why?? But Otis claims he won’t do this on his own and would never ask his actual brothers to do this with him because they’ll give him shit for it and knows joe would truly have his back. Joe gets soft hearted at this tbh and would never argue against that and they both surprisingly get picked!

Otis is excited but nervous all in one. Could his forever significant other truly be here in this building? Otis just really wanted somebody to love s/o JB! and for them to actually love him back. Why was that so much to ask for?

He feels like he screws up majority of his dates and expresses this to joe and the other guys they make friends with. They’re encouraging, pushing Otis to keep going although he’s honestly ready to go home but the last date makes him glad he stuck it out.

He meets someone who is just a little bit nerdy like him but he still takes the cake. He’s into sci fi while you’re into fantasy but you find a bond in that. You also inform him that you have terrible eyesight with grandmacore glasses and dryly blame it on your actual blind mother. She wasn’t born blind but a tragic accident left her that way. It takes a minute for Otis to catch onto your dry humor but finds he likes it.

Which leads to him asking about your profession guessing a comedian but you snort and say you’re actually an assistant writer/artist for a well known graphic novel company. Otis doesn’t need to hear anymore, half heartedly joking about marrying you right now!

You don’t call him by his nickname at all which Brian appreciates. Quickly learning about his last name and culture you test it out with your own name giving your first and middle name and Brian agrees that he likes the sound of it already.

Big note taker out of the two of you! He doesn’t want to forget anything while you tend to have a great memory with shitty eyes. You can actually blame it on too many nights growing up playing video games on the computer.

He makes it known that his Russian isn’t the best but he gets by and even teaches you a few words and sentences that it becomes a thing in greeting.

The gift giving to each other is so sweet as you have a sip and paint date, Brian gifts you a Zhostovo tray that has lots of detail that you appreciate since you once had a hand painted serving tray that belonged to your late grandfather, which broke recently while you took care of your mostly bed ridden mother.

He also lets you borrow his famous helmet and fills it full of wild flowers + peonies and you’re laughing about it joking, “I’ll have to wear this when we meet.”

“Would you, really?” “As long as you promise to help fix my hair afterwards.”

He didn’t expect you to do that but he’s in for a shock.

Part of him begins to worry the quicker he falls for you, wondering if you’re dating other people + even asks the other guys because one thing about Brian? He’s gonna search for the tea and get answers no matter who likes it or not! and you do speak on it before he brings it up that there’s one other person you’re talking to but it seems one sided, meaning they’re more into you than you of them and that you recently just broke it off which allows Brian to let out a big sigh of relief.

From hobbies to having heart to hearts, Brian is ready to make his final decision and wants to pick you if you’ll have him. You like to make him sweat just a little bit, taking your time answering and finally let up with a, “hell yeah zvonecek, thought you’d never ask!”

“Yeah well I was starting to regret asking since you took forever and a day!” “I was building suspense.” “And here I thought you were into fantasy!” You laugh and speak your farewells soon after, ready to meet each other the next day.

The led up to the big reveal is nerve wrecking but when those doors open the both of you are wide eyed although you have your back to the doors with the helmet on. Brian runs to you and you have to remind yourself to move your feet, spinning around as you meet him past the middle.

He shakes his head at you smiling at the fact that you actually did this, and surprised that those printed large framed glasses were able to fit under it too, gently pulling the helmet from your head to place on the floor so that he can also get a good look at you. Hair a mess and all!

“Look at my husband!” You grin after he slams his body into yours in a tight embrace.

He’s a shaky mess but you don’t mind holding him upright, holding his face in place as you study every inch. “I thought your spirit was beautiful before but you even have the face to match.” He’s rolling his eyes at you but he can’t help but to let a smile slip out himself. You’re making his heart thud like crazy and he says he needs to sit before he actually collapses.

“Wow, is this real life?” Brian finds himself asking multiple times as he rests a hand on your thigh and you nod and kiss him to show him it’s the real deal.

“Me and you baby,” becomes your thing and he has to keep chasing your lips because he can’t get enough of them.

You caress his face a lot and he remembers that physical touch is your love language. You didn’t lie about that! But he enjoys your touch and you playing with his facial hair that he left out. He gave nothing about his appearance away and you were okay with that. You were pretty patient and liked the element of surprise! You’ve always been creative so you tried to picture it all and even drew some ideas in your sketchbook.

“Oh right! The ring! This is crazy, I’m sorry.” Brian has to pry his eyes away from you as he searched his pockets and realizes that he either forgot it or dropped it somewhere.

Which you help him look for just for it to be in his back pants pocket, you had to be the one to pull it out with him bending over searching a potted plant. “Hey! We didn’t even have a date face to face yet and you’re already grabbing my ass?”

“It’s our ass now, genius. And I’ve found it, you’re welcome.” You hold it up in between you and Brian rubs his face in embarrassment but you’re smirking at him.

He’s down on his knee and imagines this is how it would probably always be with you. He’s down bad for you already, hands shaking again as he reveals a goregous ring. It’s a modern take on a three princess-cut grown diamonds. They are encircled by a halo of baguette and round accents and from its side it appears as floating diamonds which is breath taking.

“My man has fabulous taste!”

He exhales relieved, “You like it?”

“ Shut up and kiss me.” You demand and Brian doesn’t hesitate. Here’s a little secret, you can’t get enough of his lips either.

When it’s time for the pre-honeymoon, you don’t keep your hands off each other. If you want to wait until marriage, he will. If you don’t? It’s fair game. He eats well ;) he’s passionate and attentive, you can be a little on a rough side—don’t let the grandma glasses fool you but you always have a safe word and have Brian tell you what he wants and what’s too much if you push the envelope too far. Words of affirmation in bed definitely sets him off and you love it just as much. You love to take care of each other.

He doesn’t understand how active you can be before and still have the energy to be up at the crack of ass ready to prepare breakfast and eat. You are a bit of a routine person but if it has to be altered it doesn’t bother you much. You don’t take yourself too seriously which brian likes.

You will force him to do mediation with you on the mornings of your pre-honeymoon and affirmations to say in the mirror—which is weird at first but once he gets the hang of it and believes it you leave him alone to do it on his own. You open him up to new things and just to be himself. And he opens you up to be more in tune to your own feelings and not just everyone else’s.

Meeting Joe is just what Brian wanted and you reveal you and Joe went on one date together in the pods but he wasn’t the one who had more interest in you it was another guy. And Brian is a scoffing mess once he sees him again, “that walking protein shake? Really?!” Whaaat? I friendzoned him didn’t I? I only want you, Kartoshka.” You peck his cheek and nip his ear, leaving him a blushing mess and joe is wide eyed in disgust. “What did they just call you? Get a grip man.” “Shut up, joe.”

There could be a little drama with the meathead who is in disbelief that you would pick Brian over him and tries to show off despite being with the person he picked to marry. But it’s obvious he’s not attracted to them and is belittling to them. You set them straight in front of everybody and thankfully the girl calls it quits with him.

Brian finds it hot that you’ll stand ten toes down for him just like he will for you. And that stamps more approval from joe that you’ll make it as a couple, gaining a big hug from him which you return.

When you return home, his baba is already there and he comes clean since he actually wanted to wait until you were both settled that he’ll start reaching out to some family although you already made calls to your besties as soon as you got off the flight. Brian felt pride at the thought of someone being excited to tell their loved ones about him.

He felt incredibly lucky to be loved by you and hoped you felt the same so he didn’t B.S. to his baba about you. You didn’t understand much of their conversation but the woman yanked you into her arms. Your eyes went wide at her strength but a thumbs up from Brian over her shoulder meant all was okay.

Brian talked highly of his baba so ofc you wanted to make a great impression more with her than anything. She was the one who always believed in brian while he experienced tough love from his mom and big brothers so you couldn’t lie and say that her opinion mattered less when it mattered the most!

You were both nervous meeting each others family and friends, although you found comfort in joe and his fiancée already being friendly with them but the both of you were relived once it was all over.

It was mainly 50/50 on both sides who were in shock that this was happening and had more concerns than questions—which was the same thing in both of your eyes when each side stated this but you both understood that your loved ones had the right to be skeptical.

You were positive that Brian’s mother didn’t care for you or really approve, his brother’s attitudes felt condescending but they said they would be there whether to support or to see this fail was their own business but at the end of dinner they seemed to ease up some leaving the hounding to be done by their mother instead.

Your mother on the other hand was a simple woman. She felt along Brian’s face and smiled saying to you, “he gets points for being a cutie. If you love his heart and he’s good to you, then I’ll be more than happy to call him my son in law.”

Which definitely lifted your spirits!

A home routine for the both of you wasn’t traditional considering that Brian had joe for a roommate and his fiancée decided to move in with them and baba was in town again. Brian had a bunk bed with one twin sized on top and then a full on the bottom so there was that! He planned to get rid of it, worried that you were judging him but you just threw your hands up in the air silently saying you were keeping your thoughts to yourself.

You alternated spending weekends with each other. You lived on the outskirts of town where the historical houses were, inheriting an old Victorian from your late artist of a grandfather where you resided with your sickly mother. You had a caretaker who became family so you didn’t have to feel guilty when you would spend weekends at Brian’s.

He loved chatting with your mom when it was his turn to stay at yours. There was wittiness behind that shell of quietness and she loved having tea tasting with Brian in the garden.

He’s a talker so any time he isn’t talking would be when he’s pissed, when he’s sleeping, or when he’s deep into a book trying to process everything before he’s yelling at the pages.

The both of you like lounging on the couch, feet in his lap while he’s into a novel and you’re sketching.

Pillowtalk is absolutely a thing in this soon to be marriage! Early mornings are a common thing for Brian so he sets his alarm just ten minutes before he has to be up for work to talk to you about the most randomness things because he likes picking your brain.

You get familiar with firehouse 51, meeting Brian’s chosen family and even bringing your mother along just to say hi and always sensing when Brian just needs to see you or hear your voice + hanging with your mom is always a plus. She’s a pretty cool lady too!

And baba also likes her!

Brian would be the type to want to know what kind of dress you’re going for so he can create mental images himself but you won’t budge! He even peeks through one of your random sketches to see if you drew about it or have a vision board buried somewhere to give him an idea. He’s not patient when it comes to the wedding and can’t wait to marry you.

He’s never been so secure in his life!

He’s a sweating mess on the day of the wedding and goes into a dry heave but he’s thankful that his family is there to bring him through it. It means a lot to have everyone there, even his actual brothers!

You on the other hand? Like to dance your worries away tbfh. When you’re nervous you like to throw darts or break out into a mini dance routine that starts off with a moonwalk every damn time—which Brian caught once or twice. “What the hell was that and why have I never known you could move like that?!”

Long story short your alcoholic deadbeat dad was a tap dancer and even started you out at the age of 3. You picked up things pretty damn fast but found you were more passionate with other forms of art although dance was obviously still there.

And your mother was an ice skater before her accident brought on other health issues, so yeah you could move on your feet which was another thing Brian could add to the list of things he loved about you.

So you may have broke out into a routine in your dressing headquarters once you were alone in spanx before getting into your wedding dress. Then? You were good to go.

Brian was glad that you didn’t spare any details about your attire besides the fact that you were wearing a dress. Vintage was kind of your thing and you took your mother’s dress that she brought from goodwill years ago transforming it into just what you sketched. That’s right, sketched with the help of your designer best friend.

“I’m speechless babe,” Brian breathed as he scanned over the details of you in front of him, “I don’t know how you expect me to give my vows when you look like that.”

You smile sweetly at him, head titling to the side, “just wait until you get me out of it.” Winking at him.

He puts his head down, rubbing at his brow, face pink and warns you through clenched teeth, “remember we’re in church, in front of a priest…” which earns laughter from everyone.

You give your vows first because you surprisingly can’t wait to claim your love to Brian and you seem so at ease speaking about him while he’s melting from the lights and nerves! It’s natural for you and maybe it has to do with you being a writer but he wants to hold onto every word that you say for a lifetime.

When it’s his turn he’s a stuttering mess and the comforting squeeze from joe and the caress of your fingers underneath his chin makes him stand up tall. “…I never thought that I would ever find a love like this before. A curveball that knocks you off your feet but you find that you’re okay because it’s the most loving yet dorky person behind it that sends it your way. I am so grateful that you chose me to spend forever with and I hope that—wait—and I know that I can be just the right guy for you. I am so ready to do everything and more with you, including getting old and saggy together. I’ll even give you first dibs on plucking my first strand of gray hair out but I know you probably won’t because you’re so ready for change and seeing what the world has to offer. And I’m ready to offer you love, devotion, and a huge chunk of that world. I’ll always look foreword to saying I do with you right beside me.”

You’re kissing him before the priest gives the final say, which you suddenly remember pulling away and laughing, “sorry, we’re supposed to wait for you to tell us to do that. But I couldn’t resist, this is my forever person! So hurry up and get on with it so we can go round two.”

“Forgive them…and they say I’m the impatient one.” Brian jokes while the priest is shaking their head at you two before moving on with the ceremony and the both of you are a smiling mess, forehead to forehead, excited to put your lips to good use again with the answer of: love being blind.

BONUS: honeymooning in the states was okay with the both of you. You had time to see the rest of the world and Brian was a bit indecisive about where to go so you both closed one eye and threw a dart each at the map landing on Massachusetts of all places! Another round later and your destination was Salem. The both of you brought back weird but cool trinkets to decorate at a later date once you found a reasonably priced home. It takes time and Brian is more than willing to move elsewhere from joe and his vocal fiancée! If you get what I’m saying! He was fine with them keeping the apartment 100% while he was ready to build more life with you. He wanted your mom to move in with you two but there was no chance in hell that she was leaving the Victorian behind…so visits were a common thing at your remodeled (Brian was sick of old houses that didn’t feel updated so he was ecstatic finding this updated listing!) typical Chicago style four bedroom home that was built in 1883, Brian did his podcasts a lot in the cozy large basement and you even joined in sometimes since he always deemed you as his number one fav guest!

halloween? The both of you went off with the costumes with you on makeup duty (that Brian hated sitting hours for because his ass ached okay but always loved the end results and the decor), you’ll go to conventions together since you had the hook up thanks to your job, you’ll help out at Molly’s when they’re swarmed with customers—although you weren’t a drinker but knew how to make a mean firestarter, you’re both cat people until Brian ends up allergic and the hairless cats creep him out so the idea of having pets kinda went out the window, and I also picture him with a kid or two but he’s heavily nervous based on hereditary facts + being a good dad but you both don’t have to have it all figured out yet being worried is enough evidence that he will be 🥹

[KELLY SEVERIDE.]

Listen…Kelly didn’t want to be the guy that did this just to meet more women or anything like that but he thought it would be fun and had time off that he needed to take so why the hell not?

He didn’t expect to be around these many guys and their egos, including his own but here he was!

Casual dating was right up his alley so that’s how he kept it at the start. He knew at some part of his life he may want to settle down but he never had a grand example of what that would look like honestly.

Which is why he wouldn’t be so screwed up if things didn’t work out here…so he hoped.

He wasn’t heartless like some may believe!

Majority of the dates seem to go by fast but he knows how to keep conversations going so it only makes sense along with his imagination going wild trying to picture each person he’s talking to although it really shouldn’t matter but it does to a certain point for him…

One voice in particular sounds familiar and part of him feels like he can’t shake it but he continues talking to her although she seems to skip around some of her background.

However Kelly isn’t all that interested in family backgrounds but feels like talking about anything else like: what do the weekends look like for you? Tell me about your first crush. Most spontaneous place you had sex or made out at. Are you a beach or mountain person? Corny things like that.

He’s made the mistake of mentioning his position as a firefighter and immediately picked up on the tone of those that found more interest in that than anything else he had to say…which got old fast and made him start mentally crossing them off.

He kept talking to the familiar voice and then there was you, the complete opposite to everything he spoke of. When he asked you these questions and you brought up that you already knew that he was a firefighter since the others wouldn’t shut up about it and that you weren’t interested in sliding down his pole made him choke on his beverage in laughter.

“What if I told you that I grow cannabis for a living?” “I’d say…how’s that working out for you?” “Then I’d say idk because my phony friend took over and although it’s supposed to be recreational I really can’t get past the smell so whatever! I’m actually a forensic analyst and we can move on past the basics.” “Well…if it makes you feel better, I smoke cigars.” “It doesn’t.” Kelly laughs with a shrug, “okay then.”

You’re surprised that Kelly wants to go on another date after your first encounter and you very honest about it. “Give yourself some credit. I see something in you that can be worth it.” Kelly doesn’t hold back. “Oh please. What’re you really here for?” “What do you mean?” “Why’d you come on the show for? solely entertainment? “i came here because I was told I don’t get out enough.” “Is there some truth to that?” “When you work as hard as do, yes. You know how it is.” “Sure I do but I also know how to have the right balance.” “I can smell the Vegas on you.”

You keep Kelly laughing and find it odd that you have him somewhat figured out and he’s still trying to get a read on you.

Sooner than later you open up to him—which isn’t something that you do really but it’s something about talking with Kelly that feels different than with all the others. You didn’t pay much attention to the other girls who felt a way about you and the other girl that still got to go on dates with Kelly. It really wasn’t that big of a deal and you didn’t see the point in having envy towards anything. Things that are meant to be will be don’t they say?

The next time you meet the both of you talk about any and everything and it doesn’t feel forced. Just a natural convo between two strangers trying to figure out if they could be each others one. “Hey, are we friends now?” Kelly asks after he ends up telling you about his old friend Shay. You sigh and dramatically say, “if you say so but you can’t tell anyone.” “You are brutal,” he’s laughing again wiping the corners of his eyes, “thanks for letting me talk. I haven’t spoken about her in awhile.” “Ah don’t mention it. Most people say my shoulder is comfy which I don’t understand since they’re broad thanks to many years of being on the swim team.” “Oh shit okay! Were you any good?” “I had no choice but to be. Didn’t know how to swim so my dad made me learn to become a swimmer…which is why I said I’m more of a mountain person rather than a beach or whatever you enjoy doing more. A lake! That’s right, you’re a lake guy.”

Then there’s the subject about fathers and that’s a lengthy one! You didn’t intend to get so personal but it seemed like this Kelly guy brought it out of you—considering you’re friends now or whatever. You only tell each other one thing physically about each other but it’s only because you both let it slip. You’re aware he’s got blue eyes and he’s aware that you have a sleeve tattoo with one of them being a moose.

“Why a moose?” “Why blue eyes?” Kelly rolls his eyes, “stop being annoying.” “Fine. It’s my favorite animal and I’ve got two but the big one, that moose is in a tux smoking a pipe.” “…I can’t even picture that but I love it if you like it.” “Well maybe one day you’ll get to see it.”

Which makes Kelly raise his brows. He wasn’t expecting that but he recovers fast before that date ends shortly after. And he has no problem sharing this info with the guys he’s closest to back at the headquarters.

He becomes conflicted when he has another date before he learns it’s Brittany who’s been using her middle name instead of her first. Now he’s irritated because he felt like she should have just been honest from the jump and not play around.

Brittany’s apologetic and Kelly can’t help but to ask how she’s been and how things were resolved with her family. She says they’re in family therapy now but she moved out to Thomasville, GA. She can’t lie and say that she’s not curious about how things are going with you and Kelly but she makes it clear to Kelly that you don’t share much of what goes on in your dates + felt like your attitude sucks.

“Why? Because she told you to probably mind your business?” Kelly asks.

Kelly doesn’t like how it seems like Brittany begins to speculate or almost bad mouth you since she doesn’t know you like he does. She can sense this may go left so she tries to clean it up saying that you’re not as open as everyone else but atp Kelly doesn’t care about the info given and she also says that you’re nowhere near ready to be married to him.

He ends the date early and lets the producers have it but the producers warn him and Brittany not to say anything else about the matter to anyone. Kelly doesn’t owe them shit, telling you exactly that Brittany is his ex wife from an impulse marriage in Vegas and he hasn’t seen her in years or knew she would even be here.

You’re listening, not saying much and Kelly feels his heart rate spike thinking that you’ve left but you’re laughing now. “It all makes sense on why she was being so nosy. I think she’s curious about a round two with you.”

“Nah, not gonna happen.” “She didn’t know you would be here either.” “I told her my name first and she lied using her middle name instead. So she had to connect the dots at some point.” “You’re right but you felt something before and recently to keep pursuing her so you can’t just brush it off now since she and the producers lied.” “…why does it feel like you’re trying to push me out?” “I’m not.” “Yes you are!” “Kelly…I’m just saying I’m not here to deprive you of anything. Her being brought back into your life again might mean something.” “Like what?” He snaps, “that I go back to old habits?” You’re not sure what that means but you shrug, “I don’t know but you’re both here and you should figure it out.” “Is there someone else?” You pause because you weren’t expecting that, “no, Kelly. There’s not. It’s just you. I’ll talk to you later.”

He’s upset about this but he’s got a few more days to get it together. He really slows down and talks to Brittany most of the time before his final date with you then he has to make his big decision. It’s somewhat tense between you two and quiet but you don’t ask any questions about Brittany because why would you want to spend your time talking about another woman?

Once you get past that tension and you’re both bringing laughter out of each other, Kelly knows you’re the person he wants to talk to the most at the end of the day and he knows the decision he’ll be making tomorrow.

When he proposes the next day it’s along the lines of, “I know what this feeling is and i know I’d be a complete dumbass if I let you slip away. You’re exactly what I need to get through just a day so I can only imagine what life would be like with you in it all the time. Will you marry me?”

And when you’re face to face, the both of you have shit eating grins on your faces and can’t help but to laugh. “We’re doing this huh?” “Only if you want to.” He bumps your shoulder as you sit beside each other, knees touching and him running his fingertips over the ink on your arm.

“I think I have to see what I’m working with first.” “Meaning what?” “Plant one on me, duh.” “Oh! Is that what you want?” He’s teasing. “I mean…a big part of how you kiss me is on the list: if I should spend until the end of time with you.” “Did I ever tell you that you’re something else?” He’s grabbing the sides of your neck and you’re running your fingers through his salt and pepper hair. “Eh, I’m used to it already.”

He likes the way your nose crinkles when you’re being your usual sarcastic self and he’s staring at you with a glimmer in his bright blues before he’s diving right to you.

You hate to admit it but the man knows what he’s doing with his lips + tongue and he knows that you’re enjoying it based on your body language. “Did I pass?” You’re playfully glaring at him, trying to slow your breathing + taking note of the gap in his smile and say, “give me the ring, damnit.”

It’s a 1 carat emerald diamond with French diamonds (he explained to you) that extend half of the way around the band. They say everyone thinks about what their ring would look like but you also never thought you’d find love again after being cheated on multiple times. It was evident that Kelly put thought into this ring and into you.

So you grip his cheeks and kiss him again before wrapping him into your arms, feeling the tears in your throat. Kelly rubs your back whispering, “I’ll do my best to make you happy.” “No need to worry, you’re doing great so far.” And you’re laughing again and enjoying the feeling of being in his arms.

The Pre-Moon added to the energy of being a fiancé and fiancée. You’re wearing Kelly’s cap backwards and this is marked as Kelly’s fav outfit on you yet. You in the warm weather is the perfect view in Kelly’s eyes as you settle into your hotel.

He’ll definitely pull you into the shower with him since he doesn’t have to shower alone now. You caught on pretty quickly, enjoying the makeout session and wondering hands but you don’t take it further than that, just sticking to teasing on the first night.

He’s the partner that likes to sleep with the tv on although it doesn’t make sense to you. He’ll be taking care of the electric bill if he keeps this up outside of the show! Lots of pillow fights, “catch this!” and WWE moments that lead to more makeout sessions. Leave it up to Kelly and he’ll never leave this room. He likes walking around shirtless a lot trying to get you riled up but if he hasn’t noticed you’re a tough cookie.

It’s when he goes out onto the balcony ass naked shouting good morning to the villa, you’re yanking him right back into the room while he’s laughing. “Is there a problem?” “Yes! Why are you sharing our business to the rest of the villa?” “Our?” Kelly questions with a smirk while you keep your eyes only on him. He’s stalking towards you now after you created space between you two. “That’s what I said. Now put some clothes on!” “Is that really what you want?” “Are you planning on going skinny dipping at the pool?” He thinks about it letting a wide smile greet his face. Shaking your head you say, “never mind!”

Neck kisses and nose kisses are a thing between you two. The attraction is magnetic and 1000000000% there but you don’t officially do the deed until you’re back in Chicago on a houseboat he brought and is renovating to resell.

You wake up in complete bliss, his arm tucked underneath your jaw and fingers touching your shoulder which he kisses the back of. You’re staring at your ring, crooked smile on your lips as he’s peppering the side of your face in good morning kisses.

“I didn’t get to show off my lingerie.” You pout recollecting how the events of the night happened on impulse—but a good impulse nonetheless.

“You could model it for me now.” Kelly suggested, “or…we can shower together and get ready for the day. Meet everyone at 51.”

“You didn’t even tell them yet.”

“I told Matt and Dawson—Gabby.” He informs.

“Then I can meet them but want to wait on everybody else.”

“Okay,” he’s ready to get up but you’re pulling him back, “let’s stay in bed just a little bit longer. It’s still early.”

He can’t cook for shit and his stove isn’t repaired yet so a trip for bagels, coffee, and tea for you was a pit stop before heading over to Matt and Gabby’s where you meet little Louie as well. You and gabby understand each other’s humor and like that you’re honest about knowing how crazy this marriage thing may seem but the focus was on the present that leads up to marriage. You would put in the work if kelly does and so far it’s been great but honeymoon phases can wear off…

You have your own place and didn’t like staying on a houseboat by yourself, so a weekly routine did include you staying back at your own place while Kelly would spend many nights at the station which you stayed away from until it’s brought to your attention that Brittany shows up to the station based on a text she “accidentally” sent you. “Look who I picked up to have lunch with”

Here comes the drama the producers were looking for! It was an off guard photo she took at a table they were sitting at for lunch and you didn’t give her the satisfaction of replying. You would just wait until Kelly showed up for breakfast…hours later. He sent a good night text that same night and you left him on read which he tried not to think too much about.

Finding your front door unlocked was alarming and this was his first time being at your place, which was pretty nice. He calls out to you but he can smell the food so he quickly turns to his right to find you in your kitchen.

“Hey,” he starts, making his way over to you to peck your cheek before rubbing his hands together at the food spread and taking a seat at the island counter, “…what’s up?”

“How was your day yesterday?” You start, stirring the contents in your tea cup.

Kelly’s diving into his food and shrugs, “t’lright. Busy as usual. Missed your call on your lunch break and then reached back out to you once my shift was over. Figured you probably fell asleep right before.”

“How was lunch with Britt?” You casually ask sipping at your tea mug.

Kelly stops chewing, bright eyes flicking back to yours.

“And don’t hit me with the ‘what’re you talking about?’ She sent me a photo on purpose although she tried to lie about it.”

“…it wasn’t planned.” Kelly starts.

“No?”

“No, why would I willingly go out to lunch with her if I said all that I needed to back in the pods?”

“You tell me, Kelly.”

Kelly tightens his stare, “Stop. Don’t do that.”

“I’m not doing anything but trying to carry a conversation with my fiancé. Questioning why he’s hanging out with his ex wife…that’s all.”

“We weren’t hanging out! I just told you that. It wasn’t planned. I went to go pick up lunch for the squad and she so happened to be there having lunch by herself and she invited me over. I sat down and then we talked. I was only there for five maybe ten minutes sitting.”

“That’s five to ten minutes too long for not having anything else to say.”

Kelly lifts his shoulders, “I don’t know what you want me to say here.”

“You should have told me instead of her trying to gain some sort of one up on me saying that she picked you up when she actually didn’t. Which is weird as hell by the way.”

“I can’t control what anybody does but I do agree, I should have mentioned it last night although nothing happened but you didn’t answer any of my texts.” “Don’t try and flip this on me.” “I’m not! This just feels like you’re trying to start with me over nothing.” “Is it really nothing though?” “I’m not your loser of an ex okay and I’ll never be that. I know how that feels and I won’t steer you wrong. I love you, okay? If you have any doubt, just put your trust in that ring.”

As he mentions this it feels like the engagement ring burns against your skin but you’re staring at Kelly, taking his words and knowing they have weight to them. Blinking you step back, “I have to get to work, enjoy breakfast. And don’t forget to lock up on your way out.” Is all you say before sliding a key his way.

And he watches you leave while he rubs his face is frustration, pushing the plate away from him and no longer having an appetite.

The both of you are hard workers and push your personal business to the side as you enter your work places. However that doesn’t mean in the free time that you don’t think about each other. This was your first disagreement…if you want to call it that but your feelings for each other were strong and demanded to be felt.

You didn’t see Brittany as a threat at all, finally deciding to send back a text letting her know that whatever she’s trying to get at has clearly passed her by and that there is no need for her and kelly to continue any contact. If she didn’t respect that then there would be hell to pay :)

Thankfully she gets the message, saying that she’s already on the next flight back to Georgia and Kelly is at yours first since you’re the one with a late night. He’s made himself comfortable on the couch, watching sports, and you don’t head to the kitchen that has take out on the table, you head right to where your man is on the left side of the house. You plop beside him and he side eyed you, turning the tv down before turning his head to you.

You tell Kelly exactly what you told Brittany before apologizing about being somewhat accusatory but not about how this made you feel. He’s aware of the hurt you faced prior and know it’s a big deal giving your heart to him. He promises that he’s not going to break your heart and you promise that you’re learning to be more trusting.

Every other weekend when Kelly’s not working on the boat you head out to his lake house, liking the views but not the idea of fishing—but it’s baby steps with you.

It’s the little things that the both of you are getting the hang of. Kelly’s hasn’t been in a long lasting committed relationship since his first engagement but he knows he likes being with you doing the things you like to do and having new experiences on what he likes to do with you. It’s all about sharing and Kelly jokes that you’re not the best sharer.

Meeting each others families at a little get together at your place also puts each other into perspective besides word of mouth to each other. Everyone that the both of you socialize with agrees to be at the wedding (even Mr. Severide who asks Kelly off to the side if he’s really serious about you but it’s not like he’s taking advice from him!) which you actually pushed to the back of your mind although it’s coming up pretty damn fast!

Very protective over each other even when speaking of one another, lots of squeezes you’ll give each other in passing: he’ll squeeze your shoulders when you’re hunched over your laptop looking over something for work when you should be off-reminding you to relax, squeeze your hips and move you aside so he can get by, you both like to rub each other’s back when you’re hugging, if he’s sleeping with his back to you, you’ll use his bare back at your pillow, he’ll throw you over his shoulder the minute you start bickering with him over something, you can ask him something as simple as what type of food to eat based on two options and he’ll say something annoying like, “both,” with a shrug and you’re ready to playfully choke or slap him on the back of his shoulder.

He loves his mustangs and you love your broncos. The both of you will swap cars for a day or two just because or you’ll grab the wrong key—he thinks you do it on purpose. He basically lives at your place now and it’s the norm for you two.

What may not be normal is that feeling in your stomach the sooner the date to your wedding approaches. Kelly always tells you that you can talk to him, that the both of you should be able to talk to each other if something is bothering you so you have a conversation three days before the wedding.

“Do you think we’re ready to be married?”you ask one morning in the bath while Kelly is shaving his face.

“Is anyone?” He says staring at you in the mirror, “If the relationship is real I think most just let the nerves get the best of them and may look for a way out. You don’t think we’re ready?”

“I mean…we’re still trying to learn each other.” “True but you’re scared to take that jump aren’t you?” “Yes.” “Okay,” he goes silent for a moment, “is there anything I can do that will change your mind?” “About getting married in three days? I don’t think so. Are you ready to get married?” “At the start in the pods I wasn’t sure but talking to you made me feel hopeful again I guess. I haven’t really thought too much about it recently but I liked seeing you wear the ring and it was like we were just living without the label. Now that it’s coming up…I might be unsure again because I’m getting in my head about it…but I’m positive you’d make a great wife.” “…Maybe.” You had your doubts about that title just like Kelly. “No, you will. And it may not be in three days, weeks, or months— “or years,” you interrupt.

Kelly exhales with a roll of his eyes, “but you will and I personally want to keep getting to know you.” “Good, glad we agree on that.” He’s stepping to you now and squats down beside the tub, reaching for your cheek to place a kiss on your lips, “just making sure you’re prepared to piss a lot of people off. I assume this means no big show at the altar?” “You would love to do that wouldn’t you?” Kelly grins, “only to the producers, not our family or friends because those producers kinda deserve it especially since I heard them making bets on us.” “We don’t owe them a damn thing.” “Yeah, you’re right. Just thought I’d pass it along and see what you think. So…still my fiancée for now?” He tests and you nod your head, “cool, what do you want to do today?”

And you smile in the fresh morning and Kelly admires just how pretty you are when you have your mind made up. There was still love written in your eyes the longer the both of you had eye contact as you say, “I’ve always wanted to go to Belize.” “Yeah?” Kelly quirks up his brows, “think you can get a bag packed in thirty minutes before the camera crew get here?” “I love a challenge, Kels.” You’re standing up now and Kelly wraps his arms around you, lifting you from the tub, “so do I.” He says into your neck before setting you down on your feet and slapping you on your bare backside to get going.

You’d like to state that you’re not very impulsive but jumping on a flight with a man you agreed to marry after a few weeks of talking behind a wall but chose to ditch the wedding speaks volumes! The both of you are nowhere to be found (Kelly makes sure to call Boden about his minor absence after a day in Belize) but you both know at some point you’ll have to return to reality, for now being with each other without the constant worry about what will happen next is the most freeing feeling you both received.

For the audience: Is love blind for this couple?

[JOE CRUZ.]

Otis was lucky Joe loved him like a bro, otherwise he wasn’t sure he would really try out for this sort of thing…although he knew it would be nice to be in love.

Especially if it turns out to be genuine.

He gets excited being in the pods and actually liked going on dates and felt like he can be quite the romantic if he puts in the effort. However he knew he couldn’t dive right in and had a balancing method that worked out in his favor since most of his dates seemed to hit off but still lacked something.

There was one that was questionable and a little weird that he had to dip out on but for the rest of the ladies he could say he had a solid time.

There’s three contenders that he’s socializing with and one of them steps out of the experience with joe because she felt like her connection was stronger elsewhere. Joe appreciated that honesty and wished her well before continuing with the two women.

It’s still early so he doesn’t have to have it figured out now but he does take into account how he feels chatting with them. Both match his energy yet one is more…sexual than the other and ofc joe doesn’t mind it but he wants to make sure there’s more than just the physical if the plan is to get married at the end of this, so he makes note of that.

Then there’s you who makes him feel like he’s right at home, someone who feels like a friend that he can love past the platonic.

You have inside jokes, drag all those dance movies especially, “save the last dance,” (never magic Mike tho! Which makes joe scowl and roll his eyes) and joe is comfortable admitting that he’s into rom-com’s because who, “doesn’t love a good love story,” but is absolutely into action movies with a detailed storyline as well.

It just feels like you both come to terms with wanting to talk to each other every day and feel happier in doing so. So…he makes the decision on choosing only you to focus on and awkwardly tells the other woman who simply shrugs it off saying, “you’re probably old, fat, and balding in the middle anyway and you’re not as funny as you think. Your lost, asshole.”

Leaving joe wide eyed and caught off guard at being dragged. When he tells you about it you scoff saying, “she’s the one who lost with that nasty ass attitude. Don’t listen to a thing she says because we all know she doesn’t know her times tables anyway. And I think anyone would be glad to have someone like you in their corner so screw her.” “You mean that?” “Cross my heart and hope to fly.” “Thats…not the saying.” “Well who the hell hopes to die? Not I! I’m not even in my prime yet.” Joe chuckles, “that’s fair. Thank you for that.” “Of course, now dinner with Kanye or are you taking the twenty grand…?”

May let out a sigh of a, “I love you,” during your many talks and once he realizes he says it out loud he’s scrambling trying to save himself but you’re shushing him.

“I mean I am pretty fabulous so it’s about time you share those same views.” You start, “and I’m sure I love you too and what this little life will be.”

Which was all the confirmation joe needed to continue working at what this could be and that’s exactly what you both did.

He’s only nervous when he has to face you. More worried about what you’ll think about him physically after that previous dumping brought up his baldness unknowingly and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about you as well but the heart always knows what it wants.

“You’re gorgeous, honey.” He says as you’re caressing his head then his cheek and he’s holding on your waist. You wink and say, “as are you and we got the heart to match so sounds like a win don’t you think?”

You both give each other a nice spin hyping each other up before joe’s down on his knee to propose with an engagement ring.

A 2 Carat Pear Diamond that’s twisted along the band with more diamonds on its side.

“Ohhh, impeccable taste Joey! This is chef’s kiss but you’re already the best gift a girl can ask for and I can’t wait to be your one and only.” Joe’s all heart eyes as he’s getting to his feet to connect your lips.

And you’re both letting out a sigh like this is where you’re meant to be.

The pre-moon is even better. Superior weather and views + being with the man you can see the future with. You’re quite aware of joe being big hearted and it doesn’t disappear. Breakfast in bed, he pays attention and gives his input on fits when you ask for it—even when being self conscious he’ll still compliment you reminding you of your worth, making requests of saying ‘I love you,’ morning, night, and even when/if you’re getting on each other nerves. He knows he’s a blanket hog since he gets cold easily but thanks to the hotel sheets being tucked in so tight he can’t pull the covers too much but promises he’ll do better when you get back home, you help him shave the back of his head, and he’ll help you with your eye drops since you flinch too much doing them yourself.

You’ll spend a lot of time snacking and lounging on the balcony + night time swimming and sunbathing. “I don’t need that,” he says to the sunscreen and you give him a look before he’s sighing taking the cream from you, “you’ll have to get my back,” “always boo,” you state knowing that joe will learn to not argue with a esthetician.

Meeting Otis already feels like you know him since joe talks quite a bit about him. And it’s just as easy talking to Otis as it is talking to Joe and he deff gives baby brother energy so you know there will be no issue looking at him as such. The party goes by smoothly and you catch joe staring at you from across the tiki bar and shoot him a funny face before carrying on although you do feel giddy knowing that his eyes are only on you.

You’re both tipsy and love drunk when you get back to the hotel so it’s no surprise that you both end up underneath the covers. Joe kisses like he’s got all the time in the world and takes his time even further exploring your body and even once he’s in between your legs. He has no problem telling you how you make him feel in your ear and you both learn just how vocal you equally can be.

The next morning is just as loving but Joe’s hangover is not although he claims he didn’t have that many drinks. You on the other hand have a high tolerance and provide just the best hangover juice to cure it while massaging his head with peppermint oil, along with a cucumber facial he tries to eat, and beginning to take care of Joe’s marked up back. He hisses as you rub aloe on his back, “hey! A warning would have been nice you know?” “Well at least you know now,” you grin pecking one of the scratches while Joe scoffs at you over his shoulder before placing a kiss on your forehead.

Lots of forehead kisses and hugs from behind. Lots of rants from him that you nod along to and although it may seem like you’re not paying attention you’re actually a great listener although you space out sometimes. When you get back to Chicago this doesn’t change once he gets back to work and he’s talking about his day. You do have great commentary and know which conversations require that same commentary thrown in while he’s going off or when to wait until he’s done.

“So…how was your day?” He’ll say after awhile, seeming to finally take a breath, knowing both of your fields of work were way different. He assumed you had more peace of mind but there were some clients that liked to show their ass and when you first started with your cousin not only did they try to get over but so did your clients so you had to bring out a different side to you and stood on that.

Which meant renting out a new space and separating from your paternal cousin who was holding you back. Once you did that it seemed like everything in your life started to work out, including joe.

You were saving up to get your own place, growing tired of living in the downstairs space which was like an apartment of your aunt and uncle’s who raised you. You never really had to live on your own although many judged you about it being in your adulthood but you were thankful that you don’t have that experience of being forced out like many friends did. You paid your way once you knew how to manage your money. Joe was more than welcoming you into his space but you kept questioning if Otis was okay with that…

If you’re a black reader (or POC or wearer) and use wigs as a protective style/preference, you can almost guarantee that Joe will steal a black wig cap for his head at work since his caps might not be clean and he’s sure 51 wouldn’t notice. But you did!

Sunday dinners are a thing at your aunt and uncle’s which is something Joe wants to incorporate in your own home life. Having dinner with family is so important (even eating with everyone at 51, joe holds dear to his heart) and likes that it isn’t tense like it would be with his dad and Leon. He helps your aunt with the dishes while your uncle chats with him and you’re working on plating the dessert.

They’re asking the tough questions he’s prepared for. Where you’ll see this relationship going in the next five years after marriage? Would marriage still be on the table if you choose to keep seeing each other and not go through with it? How you’ll handle disagreements? How many kids if the lord is willing/ how you’ll raise them and in what faith? How you’ll plan to support each other in life?

You don’t interact with Joe’s father since he doesn’t either. One day you were sure he would tell him but his tío is aware of his choice, which is concerning at first but tells Joe that he hears the sincerity in his voice. You do have a hour long conversation with Leon who gives his stamp of approval, calling you, “sis,” already which makes you grin knowing that his spirit is just as infectious miles apart. He’s direct in questioning your love for his big bro and you give just the right answers.

House 51 is welcoming, more brief, and humorous. The usual standard questions: what do you do for work? Hobbies? Why on earth would you pick Joe to marry? Lightheartedness which is more easy to deal with than the seriousness of your aunt + uncle and Leon.

The tour of the firehouse is eye-opening along with the few stories joe tells you about. You know when to give squad 3 shit back whenever you pop in and the older men become family too with lots of texting in a group chat without joe—which he’s confused on why but accepts it after some time knowing it’s no ill intent but definitely side eyes severide if he feels like he’s getting too close to you for his liking but ultimately knows you have no interest in anybody but him.

Leaves out that he had a minor dating history with sylvie and is awkward when you two meet. Otis finds this amusing and slyvie is confused on why Joe is being weird but says nothing more than that. You eventually find out that the two use to date + how it ended + they’re still friends and you shrug, “okay…do you want to see any of my exes to make yourself feel better?” Joe’s giving you wide eyes and spits out, “that’s only going to give me high blood pressure, so no thanks.” You burst out laughing against his chest, “then let’s finish our show.”

You don’t mind having times where you don’t do much but you also like a balance of doing more than just simple. Joe takes those hints and tries to come up with ideas here and there in his free time and if you’re not feeling it you’ll come to some sort of compromise.

Things feel natural between you two like you’ve been in each others lives for a decade already. Was that enough to carry you through marriage?

You feel pretty in your dress and not nervous which makes those in your corner eye each other. You usually always keep your composure but most expected you to be a little nervous but you weren’t. You knew what you had waiting for you out there and it felt right. The conversation you had with Joe the night before last also made you content with your decision.

The compliments were flowing as you stood in front of each other with soft smiles. The ceremony felt as fast as this proposal and you had the honors of going first, “…I met a guy with a heart of gold and wants to see the best in everyone. The one who constantly makes me feel like it’s okay to accept love past a friendship and see a lifetime worth of memories in his eyes. I love how we are together, show up for each other, and that I am the only woman in your heart. Marriage is the biggest leap on top of this proposal and I’d be honored to be your wife. To show you just how much love I can give in return….”

It’s Joe’s turn, “…I usually don’t have the best judgement when it comes to love but you’ve shown me that anything is possible. That I made the right choice and can push to do whatever my heart desires and I’m positive that’s you. You’re so uplifting even with your sense of humor and I think that’s the best thing I can ask for. Someone always having my back but also knowing when to tell me that I don’t need to give everything away if people aren’t ready to accept it. I knew I could love you not only in the pods and yeah I wear my heart on my sleeve a lot but I won’t be ashamed of that. You never make me feel ashamed of that. This is the most insane experience that I was forced into which I can thank my boy, Otis for! but it brought me to you and I can’t be mad at that. I love us and I’ll love us even more with time. We have a bond that is meant to last so I know we’ll still make in due time…”

Which is why you chose to hold onto your engagement longer because that felt right. You both moved to your own drum but Patience felt like key in this relationship. You didn’t want to break up but just grow and it made the most sense although many were clueless at this being the route you both took including the producers.

You still had an engagement party at firehouse 51 since the producers didn’t want to include the reception since you both didn’t go forth with a marriage. “You’re probably gonna regret that when the real marriage happens buddy. They pay for all that crap.” Otis whispers over champagne and joe groans before he remembers, “well I’m sure her uncle will help out since he was in the CIA or something…I hope.”

Before long you’re both on the dance floor, happy with where you both stand in the now and what’s later to come.

ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ.

FEB. FLUFF FIN.

[twistnet]

comforting them after a bad day [ chicago fire ]

⋯ CHARACTERS ; matt casey, kelly severide, leslie shay, sylvie brett, stella kidd, brian ‘otis’ zvonecek, joe cruz, christoper herrmann, violet mikami, evan hawkins, greg grainger

⋯ MATT CASEY

when matt has experienced a bad day, he tends to get very quiet. sometimes even a little snippy whenever he’s asked if he’s alright. he recognizes that acting this way isn’t going to make his day any better, but it takes his a little bit. let him clam down, and once he’s done that, he’ll seek you out. quietly apologize for being snippy, and telling you that he’s just had a bad day. you can ask him how his day was -- he’ll tell you everything and at some point, slowly wraps his arms around you and leans his head atop your shoulder. inhaling your scent immediately calms him and he’s already starting to feel better

⋯ KELLY SEVERIDE

kelly tends to let everything build up. almost insisting he is fine and there’s nothing to truly worry about. and no matter how much you push, he’ll maintain the same story. until something just absolutely breaks him and everything that he’s kept bottled up for month finally comes pouring out. he’ll cry -- more of his eyes tearing up as he refuses to let them fall. but he practically falls into your grasp as you pull him into a hug. it’s really all he needs, just the comfort of having you near him as he talks about different things and lays his heart out on the table. card your fingers through his hair and just tell him that ‘it’s gonna be okay’. that’s all he needs for now

⋯ LESLIE SHAY

leslie, much like kelly, can be stubborn when it comes to talking about any bad days. however, she’s different as she’ll give one of the briefest overviews -- almost as if she’s giving a report, and then insist that she’s fine. all of her emotions comes out when she drinks, and you can tell she was anything but fine, considering the amount of drinks she’s already had. she’ll crumble into your arms, looking for your warmth as she begins to babble about her day and everything she was feeling. she’ll cling to you, but it’s truly something she needs as you’ve noticed her start to calm the longer and tighter you hold her

⋯ SYLVIE BRETT

sylvie will seek out comfort after a bad day. honestly, any type of comfort will help, but if given the option, she wants to spend her time cuddled into your side with her head resting either against your shoulder or chest. she doesn’t talk much about her day -- only just to tell you that it wasn’t one she would want to experience again before eventually falling asleep. she feels better with you, nothing you have to do aside from allowing her to cuddle up to you

⋯ STELLA KIDD

stella gets all quiet and short tempered. it almost takes you by surprise, until she makes a comment about her day. to which you ask her what she needs -- as she often wants different things depending on what had taken place. and once she makes her request, you’re dropping everything to do it. often, her go-to answer is to ask to be held in some way. honestly whichever way is comfortable for the two of you at the time. 

⋯ BRIAN ‘OTIS’ ZVONECEK

brian is going to get super quiet after a bad day. meaning that whatever had taken place, must have really hit him hard. like most of the others, he will seek you out almost immediately. he needs comfort and wants to decompress from what he experienced for the day. kiss away his tears, hold him tight -- he’ll take literally any form of comfort so long as you are willing to give the time

⋯ JOE CRUZ

joe takes a lot of things to heart, and while he’s been able to keep himself from taking each thing he wasn’t able to do so personally, there are times in which he can’t help but feel that. especially after a bad day. he’ll seek you out, looking for some comfort as he gets the day off his chest. he’ll immediately wrap you up in his arms, tucking his face into your shoulder. he won’t talk about it right away, wanting to see you and tell himself that seeing you is better than any bad day he’s experienced. and while he’ll come clean about his day eventually, he’s just wanting to spend as much time with you as possible

⋯ CHRISTOPHER HERRMANN

christopher tends to get angry -- never directed towards one person, just as his frustration of the day grows, it gathers to a point where he may explode and accidentally take his anger out on the closest person. he realizes that mistake literally seconds later and calms down immediately. taking a few deep breaths before sitting down to tell you. he finds comfort in your touch and will show you by kissing your knuckles before apologizing. he’ll spend the night making it up to you, and in turn, it helps him settle in and finally gain some closure for the day

⋯ VIOLET MIKAMI

violet will put on a brave face and will power through the rest of her shift until she can have a moment to decompress. which is usually once she gets home and she can let her emotions out about her bad day. depending on the scale, there will be tears and she’ll hold onto you tightly as she lets it all out. she wants to be with you, and most likely won’t be getting up from her spot unless you manage to coax her to either eat or take a shower. otherwise, she’ll be content laying against you until she feels ready enough to detach herself form you

⋯ EVAN HAWKINS

if anything, evan grows more frustrated with himself. slowly begins to fall down the rabbit hole of ‘what ifs’. trying to think about what he could have done differently to change the course of the day he’s been having. he’s patience wears a little thinner and sometimes he can be a bit of a pain to have a conversation with. until he gets home and he crumbles, talking your ear off about how his day had been until he practically runs out of breath. he feels better afterward and can usually move past that day but it will always stick with him as he could have done better

⋯ GREG GRAINGER

greg tends grow quiet, almost closing in on himself and trying his best to get through the rest of his shift before going home. the second walks through the door, he’s immediately finding wherever you are in your shared home and latching onto you with already tear blurred eyes. he doesn’t really want to talk about it just yet, just needs to hear you talk gently to him and hold him close. he’’l eventually come clean about what took place, but he needs his own time to think through what had happened

blog navigation ⇢ [ one chicago masterlist ]

[persage]

TRUE COLORS - BRIAN "OTIS" ZVONECEK

'Cause my boy Otis deserves better

Summary:When you spend your time at 51, you draw Otis on the sly. Everyone notices it, except him. Until fate gets in the way

Word Count: 2.5 k

Maybe it's the way he moves his hands. Maybe it's how he moves the dark curls from his face. Maybe it's the way he wrinkles his nose when he's tired after the shift and starts working at Molly's, tirelessly.

Or it's the way he writes, with his head slightly tilted to the left.

It could be just the way the light fits between his features and makes him pure, bringing out his light skin stained by many small moles. Perhaps it's his dark eyes.

You really don't know. You just can't help but drawing him.

You'd like to draw his eyes after you've seen them even closer and realized how deep they really are, because you're sure they are, more than anything else in the world. Or, again, maybe it's the way he curls his lips as he smiles.

It's probably all together and he doesn't even realize it while a few meters away you're crouched on a chair, in a corner of the 51, almost invisible and your hand moves over a sheet and captures his image, without mistakes or smudges. You could be drawing Brian with your eyes closed by now.

"Are you still here?" Your half-sister, Leslie, asks, noticing you. You've been spending a lot of time at the 51 lately (and equally at the Molly's) officially because you're soon to be Boden's new secretary, secondly to spend time with Lesley. What you didn't expect was to find yourself spending most of your free time observing Brian, scribbling his face here and there, forcing yourself from time to time to portray other colleagues as well so as not to arouse suspicion. "Let me work Lesl" You reply, letting the pen run across the paper noisily. "Our Little Artist" Kelly teases you, ruffling your hair.

"When will you set up an exhibition with our portraits?" Herman asks, chuckling. "That wouldn't be a bad idea you know" Mills replies, winking. "Think about it y/n" You smile uneasily.

"I should find better models" You reply as Cruz and Otis - Brian - shake their heads. "Listen to the nonsense" Your eyes meet and you smile at him and he reciprocates before the siren of the imminent call forces him to leave. You sigh.

He fascinates you just like he torments you, you long for him and at the same time you are afraid to get to know him better. There's something sweet, genuine about him and you admire his courage and his work, but at the same time you're terrified because deep down what do you have to offer? What can make you interesting to him? You're just a failed student who needs to work here to make some money, a failed artist who has lost her inspiration, who can't help her sister in a difficult moment, who didn't get a degree, who can't control the emotions.

"You never color it" Boden has noticed one day, admiring your drawings. "I think it would ruin it" You have replied. The truth is that you are convinced that to do this, especially when it comes to Brian, you should need to see the color gradations of his skin, his face, his freckles or his eyes. It is incorrect to portray a subject and complete it inaccurately. You will use color on his drawings when and if you can see him at very close range. Closer than the Molly's counter or the 51. For now you settle for pencil or pen.

Sometimes you dwell too much on his well-defined lips. It's one of the parts you like to draw the most, after the eyes. Then you look at the finished drawing and wonder if you are experiencing something that will never happen, or not experiencing it at all. And with every call they come back with wounded expressions from a difficult intervention and some new scar on the body or the soul ans you wonder if it really makes sense to waste all this time.

It must be said : fate works in a curious way at times.

You're -again- drawing Brian, he's wearing his uniform and he's approaching the truck laughing with Mouch. The 51 is quieter than usual today and there are few calls, an unusual thing but you don't mind. You smile when Brian turns to face you and pretend to be focusing on someone else, momentarily terrified that he will think you're crazy. You place your pen on the table in front of you, tie your hair into a spooky ponytail, then start over with the care you reserve for important things. Brian  sighs, turning back in your direction, Mouch's hand on his shoulder as he shakes his head repeatedly. You wonder what they're talking about, you get the distinct feeling that it's you, and you feel your heart pounding in your chest.

Stupid little girl.

" Someone has a crush" it's a voice behind you. The worst voice you could hear in this situation: Joe Cruz. Brian's best friend, roommate, his other half.

"Of all of us Otis? Why?" Cruz sits across from you, a hand under his chin and an inquisitive expression on his face that does not hide his happy grin. And you're terrified, now there's no way Brian won't know about it now. "I don't have a crush. I draw all of you Cruz" you reply, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks.

"Yeah sure. You draw me once in a while, once of Herman, maybe three times of Kelly because it's particularly handsome, but I'm sure most of them are about Otis." You shake your head.

"What makes you think that?"

"I've been watching you Little Shay. You know, it's pretty obvious. You're not as good as you think at hiding." You open your eyes suddenly and feel your face get hot with embarrassment. Brian's eyes are still fixed on you and this with Cruz's words short-circuit you.

"If I were you I'd make a move" You need some fresh air. You get up and head for the exit, forgetting the notebook with your drawings on the table in a hurry.

When you come back for it, an hour and two cigarettes later, it's gone.

Two days, seven hours and a new notebook later, your half-sister has abandoned you at Molly's, a beer in front of you to finish and the light chatter of the last remaining customers. Someone sits next to you and lets their chair clatter to the floor. You don't turn around and stay focused on the beer because you know all too well who's next to you. Your senses alert, your heart furious. Brian.

"It's amazing" the voice is warm, but slightly high in pitch and secretly insecure. You shrug. "Thank you" you reply. Your brain is so muddy that you don't even wonder what it's referring to

"This is yours" now you look up and you see it. Brian's hand just reaching out to give you back the notebook. You stare at him dumbfounded. You admire the way the light falls on his face, how he smiled lightly and the lips you've always drawn so carefully, even more beautiful at that non-distance. For several seconds you don't say anything, but you stay still to study him, to study his colors, his embarrassed, sweet expression. Everything seems to stop to you.

"Otis, can you close?" Question Herman before leaving the pub, making you awaken and ashamed at the same time, realizing what you're getting into. You take the notebook without saying a word and start to get up and leave, but the boy's hand stops you, gently grabbing you by the wrist. It is soft, despite the hard work his skin is not rough. His warm skin seems to burn yours, leaving invisible marks.

You look at his fingers wrapped around your wrist, then at him, his dark eyes still fixed on you. He lets you go slowly, almost reluctant to break the contactn and you realize that he has the power to make you sit back, without saying a word.

"Sorry," you say sheepishly, looking away and letting your hair fall in front of your face to cover the blush on your cheeks.

"You shouldn't apologize" He replies, continuing to observe you. You feel his hand approaching your face, his fingers lingering near your hair, and you know what he's about to do, and you wish he would. You would like to him slowly pull your hair back, put it behind your ear, to let his big fingers slide against your skin and you would like to tilt your head to one side, to let yourself go to that contact. But he doesn't.

After a few moments he pulls his hand away, thinking maybe he's going too far.

Sure, your notebook is filled with portraits of him, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

"You're good" He whispers. "You're really good little Shay, you shouldn't waste such a talent." You just smile, let a sheepish chuckle leave your lips. Brian doesn't say it, but he feels like he's never heard a better sound in his life. He wonders how he didn't notice it before. Of course, as soon as you arrived at 51 he immediately set his sights on you, but he never really did it with an intention: partly because you are Shay's little sister, partly because he never thought he had any chance despite what Cruz said.

In short, Cruz doesn't always have brilliant intuitions when it comes to women.

Maybe Dawson's jokes could have enlightened him, sure, but anyway...Brian has never been a phenomenon with girls, in a barracks full of men like Kelly Severide why would you have to look at him? And instead you looked at him all the time, drew him so much that it filled entire pages, tracing his features with a pen and making him look much more handsome, bold, courageous, appreciable than he probably was. Because you see him this way.

"At first I didn't know whether to come to you or keep the notebook," he admits. "Then I thought it was a good excuse to talk to you."

"You don't need an excuse to talk to me Brian" you answers automatically, without thinking. He smiles, feels his heart melt in his chest. Hardly anyone calls him Brian, especially at the station.

"I needed to find the courage" he murmurs, clearing his throat. "It's easy in the barracks, between one joke and another but talking... I mean for real... It is different. Especially with someone like you"

"Someone like me?" you raise an eyebrow as he smiles. He is impossibly beautiful as his cheeks turn pink.

"An interesting girl, a curious one. An artist y/n"

"You're the only one who thinks of me like that. Artist."

He shakes his head. "That's not true, we all think so and if you start showing your drawings the whole world would do it" You shyly grab his hand which is still on the table.

"Thank you, you don't know how much this means to me." He hold yours back and intertwines his fingers with yours. He seems made to hold your hand, he seems born to grab you, to keep you close. And you wonder if hugging him gives the same effect, if even his lips are made to kiss yours.

"Listen, y / n ...." he takes on a serious tone of voice and you almost worry.

"Why have you never colored me? I mean, do you see me in black and white somehow? Does my aura tell you something? I'm not an artist, so I don't really know how these things work, but it scared me to death. Do you see me in any strange way?" he looks nervous

"Is that what worries you?"

"What else should?"

"I mean you find the notebook of someone who drew you too many times to count and you're worried about the fact that I don't color you?" you use a hint of sarcasm, realizing this confuses you.

Part of you feared there would be a different reaction, not anger knowing Otis, but at least a detachment, a rebuke. Anyone else would have been upset, but not him, he seems happy. He studies you carefully.

"You think I haven't seen you?" Your eyes widen and total silence envelops you. "What?" You're the one who doesn't understand now.

"Do you really think I haven't noticed that you spent your time looking at me and drawing me?" he shakes his head, amused by your shocked expression  "You've been going on like this for months, aren't you going to pretend that you don't believe me?"

"I..." You can't say more. He laughs and you look at him, and then start laughing , because Brian has written "liar" on his forehead. "No, you didn't understand a damn thing my dear Brian" You retort.

"Oh I don't, but Cruz does. It was just hard to believe"

"And why?"

Brian doesn't answer, he caresses his goatee thoughtfully and you understand that you won't get the truth. Not yet. "Because you're beautiful y/n, people like you fly too many meters higher then me. In short..."

"I've looked at you from the start, Brian." You confess, this time without shame, your will to make him happy is stronger than any embarrassment. You know he needs to know it, to realize his value, for once to be the protagonist, the hero of your story, of your drawings, of your life. Him and no one else.

When silence returns, he turns to you again.

"So? Why didn't you color me?"

"I've never colored you because... I had to see you up close, really close, to be able to color you the way I want" you simply reply and he opens his mouth to say something, but he can't formulate anything, not when you continue. "Modigliani painted empty eyes, without pupils, because he couldn't paint what he didn't know: the souls of the people he was portraying. He only painted those of his partner Jeanne. I suppose it's the same for me. I can't color you without knowing the your true colors, without knowing what undertone your skin is or the paths that the veins form on your body."

Without realizing it, you've started to run your fingertip along his wrist, where the vein pulsates under the skin.

"Do you think." His voice is hoarse, scratched with emotion and excitement. "Do you think you'll give me the chance to let you find out?" He asks shyly. You nod with a slight smile.

"Are you asking me out Brian?"

"I'm asking you for dinner, then let's see what happens."

"Only one?"

"Maybe more than one"

[themultifandomgal]

Joe Cruz- Scare To Trust Again

Triggers- toxic relationship, boyfriend hitting girlfriend once. Cheating. Boyfriend thinks woman shouldn't have a 'mans job'.

My shift at the firehouse finishes so I get myself ready for my date with my boyfriend Reece. I walk out of the locker room

"YN is that you?" Severide whistles

"You scrub up well" Gabby smiles

"Thanks"

"Cruz close your mouth before you catch flies" Casey chuckles

"YN you look..." Cruz is lost for words so Brett finishes for him

"Beautiful"

"Still not sure why your with Reece" Herrmann scoffs

"Maybe because I love him" I reply rolling my eyes

"But he cheated on you" Severide frowns

"Yes but that was a drunken mistake"

"Hmmm" Matt crosses his arms as Reece arrives

"I'll see you guys tomorrow" I wave bye to everyone and leave the firehouse getting into Reece's car

"Hi baby" I smile getting into his car, but he just grunts in response. Must have had a bad day. The drive to the restaurant was silent, somethings off.

We sit down at a table in silence, Reece starts looking at the menu

"Whats going on?" I ask not picking my menu up

"Nothing" he replies. His phone beeps, he looks at it and quickly replies putting his phone back down

"Reece somethings wrong"

"Nothings wrong. Now look at your menu and decide what your having" not wanting to cause an argument I do as I'm told. We oder our drinks then our waitress walks over to us again. I notice Reece's mood shifts and he puts on a smile

"Hi what can I get you"

"I'll have the steak, medium rare. She will have the Caesar salad"

"Of course" the waitress turns around and I notice Reece watching her, more specifically her ass. I cross my arms annoyed at him. He looks back at me with a frown

"What?" He replies

"Are you serious? You were just checking her out"

"Here we go. Jealous YN as always"

"There's a difference with being jealous and being upset because your boyfriend was looking at their waitresses butt" I whisper yell

"Give it a rest YN" he sighs "I'm taking you home aren't I?"

After we leave the restaurant and head home Reece is still acting weird and constantly on his phone. So once he goes into the shower I do something I never thought I'd do, I take his phone and unlock it to check his messages. He's been messaging many woman talking to them as he would me. One message even implied that she enjoyed the sex. Furious I stand up with the phone still in my hand. I march my way to the bathroom and open the door, not caring that Reece is in the shower

"Are you fucking serious?"

"What?"

"Your fucking cheating on me again?"

"Well what do you expect when your at the firehouse all the time" Reece gets out of the showers wrapping a towel around his waist

"At work!" I yell "did you forget I'm a fucking firefighter?"

"Maybe if you were at home doing the cooking and cleaning not doing mans work..,."

"Woah woah woah. Let me stop you there. It's not the 1950s Reece. When we started dating you knew I was a firefighter, you knew that I was working full time. So why now are you saying I should be in the fucking kitchen"

"My head hurts YN give it a rest" Reece gets himself dressed "let's just go to bed"

"No I'm not getting into bed with you when you've admitted to cheating and then told me that I should be a house wife"

"Shut up" I then feel a pain across my face. My eyes widen. Without saying anything I grab my stuff and leave the house with Reece calling me to come back. I get in my car and drive home, thankful I never actually fully moved in with him.

The following day I arrive at the firehouse in a mood. I've done my best to hide the bruise but gave up when it wouldn't fully disappear. I go to the lockers where Cruz is putting his things away

"You good?" he asks me "is that a bruise on you face? what happened?"

"Let's just say I'm now single" I slam my locker and head to the kitchen area to make myself a coffee

"Did Reece do this to you?" this gets the attention of everyone at the firehouse "did he hit you?" I sigh in response not really wanting to get into it

"YN what happened last night?" Gabby asks walking over to me. Tears start to threaten to spill

"He's been cheating on me again. I confronted him and he slapped me telling me to shut up"

"Oh YN" Gabby and Sylvie pull me into a hug

"Has he ever hurt you before?" Severide asks

"No. That's the first time. I left him and went home after that happened"

"Good"

Later in the afternoon I hear a commotion outside

"How dare you lay a finger on YN! I hear. I rush outside and see Joe pushing Reece back

"Cruz calm down" Severide holds him back

"Reece go" I say "we're over ok"

"Babe come on. It was a stupid mistake"

"Which part? cheating on her or hitting her?" Herrmann asks

"Babe come on. I won't do it again"

"Just leave Reece"

"Oh and if you decide to harass her, I'll be making a call to my friend over in intelligence"

"Go" Joe shouts.

"Hey you ok?" Joe asks waking over to me at Mollys after our shift

"Yeah. Just sucks. I'm 30 Joe. I thought in the next few years I'd be married with kids and now I have to go through the whole process again"

"I know it's not ideal, but you'll find the right guy. Who won't cheat on you or hurt you. Never know you may have already met him just not realised it"

"I'm so scared to trust again"

"Hey look at me" I turn and look at Joe

"You will trust again, I promise"

"Thank you" I give Joe a hug thankful I have friends like him who have my back.

Months go by, I do have to get a restraining order against my ex, especially when he found out that Joe and I had starting to see each other. And Joe was right, I did learn to trust again.

[adarafaelbarba]

So many questionable choices

"Isn't it always with you Cruz?" "Hey! What did I do?" Everyone in the room laughed, but he glared at you. "I can go into heavy detail, Jose!" You'd known him for years, so you had all the dirt. "Oh, I wanna hear this!" Otis chimed in, only shutting up cause Joe turned to him with a 'don't you dare' type of glare. "Don't get too excited Otis, I got shit on you too!"

That got another huge laugh from the others, and both men were now hiding their faces. If there was one thing you loved, it was riling them up. Usually when they were doing things to annoy you, which was always, whether it was on shift or off, at your shared apartment or elsewhere. When those two were together, all hell could break loose in a matter of seconds, not that you didn't love them though. They were like your brothers.

Tagging:

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[spncrscasey]

Mine (m.c.)

Fandom/Characters: Chicago Fire - Matt Casey x Fem!Reader, Sylvie Brett, Stella Kidd, Kelly Severide, Blake Gallo, Wallace Boden, Christopher Herrmann, Joe Cruz, Darren Ritter

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: You and Matt Casey had been secretly dating for a while, and it had gone smoothly since you worked at different firehouses. However, you were offered a job at 51 which despite seeming like a great idea, only made everything complicated.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, a bit of angst, a bunch of fluff, pet names, mention of anxiety, protective matt, kissing, happy ending

a/n: my first fic!!!!! (on tumblr that is lol) i used to write a lot on another platforms but haven't written for fun in forever (other than for school, ew lol.) so i might be a bit rusty so just yk excuse that until i get back into my flow :) anyways i hope you guys like it <3

For the last three years, you've been working as a paramedic at Firehouse 20 alongside Violet Mikami. During that time, you've come to know Blake Gallo as a result of his on-and-off relationship with her. Although he's a great guy, what made him even greater is the person he introduced you to about a year ago— your boyfriend, Captain Matthew Casey of Firehouse 51.

Where could you possibly start? His mesmerizing, smile and his charming personality drew you in in an instant. You never realized how the occasional encounters, transformed into intimate late-night conversations. And before you knew it, those late-night talks grew into romantic dinners and memorable dates.

After months of both of you dancing around one another, he finally masked up the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend. Without a moment's hesitation, you instantly said yes.

Six months have passed since then. Both of you had mutually decided to keep it private for some time in order to prevent any interference with your jobs. The only individuals who had known were your respective Chiefs, just in case something happened.

Your Chief also knew you could handle a busier station such as 51. So, he had just offered you the vacant paramedic position that was left after Foster left for Med School.

Initially, you were excited about the offer because it meant working with your boyfriend. However, now you're uncertain about accepting it as you're not sure how he’d react. While you believe he'd be as thrilled as you are, there's this nagging feeling that it would complicate things.

So you decided to call him.

"Hey Matt," You said once he picked up.

"Hi babe, everything okay? You rarely call me during shift." He replied, voice laced with concern.

"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine." You assure him before nervously adding, "It's just... I have something to run by you...”

"Go ahead sweetheart, what's up?"

"You know how Foster left and ever since then there's been an open paramedic spot at 51 for a while now?"

He hums encouraging you to continue.

"Well, my Chief spoke to Boden and they both agreed that I could fill that spot if I wanted to."

"That's fantastic news!" He said excitedly. "Do you want to?"

You sighed. "I do want to. I think it would be nice to work with you and the experience of working at a busier station? That would benefit me, by a lot. I’d be able to learn so much."

"Then what's there to run by me? This is your decision Y/N." Matt questioned.

"It's your house! I don't want to interfere with the little family you all have built and make things complicated considering we'd be working together while dating and what if they take it the wrong way thinking I only got the spot because I'm with you-"

"Hey! Y/N, sweetheart, breathe." He says cutting off your rambling, trying to calm you down.

"What?" you ask, voice exasperated.

"Baby, no one's going to think anything like that. You're an amazing paramedic and you earned your spot because you're good at your job. Also, no one knows that we're together so they won't suspect a thing. We don't even have to tell them yet if you don't want to.” He said reassuringly before continuing, “And you wouldn't be interfering with anything, I can assure you that we'd all love to have you at 51. This is completely your choice though, so whether you want to transfer over here or not, you have my full support, regardless of what you decide."

You smile at Matt's words. "Thank you." You pause for a moment before resuming happily, "Okay I'm going to go tell Chief that I'm accepting the position! I'll talk to you later Matt."

"That's my girl." He says smiling before hanging up.

You swiftly head to your Chief's office and let him know that you completed the transfer paperwork and are ready to begin at 51 as soon as possible. He nods, smiling, and assures you that he will push the request forward.

It was now Monday. Which also happened to be the same day you started your first shift as the new paramedic of Firehouse 51.

God were you nervous.

You had spoken to Matt multiple times and he continuously reassured you that you had no reason to feel anxious because everyone would adore you. So why were you still panicking?

Matt liked you, Gallo liked you, and so did Boden after the short interview you two had.

You had also heard a lot about each of them through Matt, and they all sounded like wonderful people. So the odds of your new coworkers welcoming you with open arms were pretty high.

Yet despite your best efforts, you couldn't shake the feeling of anxiety that was coursing through your veins, leaving you a nervous wreck.

You let out a sigh, trying to calm your nerves as you approached the Firehouse. You bumped into Gallo on the way which instantly relieved your worries. Seeing a familiar face put your mind at ease, melting your fears away, even if it’s only for a moment.

The two of you engaged in an easy conversation as you walked into the building together.

Upon entering, you spotted a table near the rigs with several individuals seated around it. Gallo eagerly ushered you towards them, quickly introducing everyone.

"Squad, this is Y/N Y/L/N, our new paramedic!" He said as you smiled, waving at them.

Gallo then pointed at a tan, blue-eyed man who was sitting at the head of the table. "That's Lieutenant Kelly Severide. Head of Squad and those are his Squad members."

He quickly got up and shook your hand. "Nice to meet you Y/L/N."

You recognized him now. He was Matt's best friend, they'd been through thick and thin together. It was sweet actually, finally getting to put a face to the name you've been hearing so much about.

Gallo took his time introducing you to the other members of Squad, all of whom greeted you with kindness and respect.

As he slipped into conversation with them, you took the opportunity to excuse yourself and find your partner, Sylvie Brett, who you’d be spending most of your time with.

She stood out easily, being one of only two women in the house. You spotted her in the kitchen, chatting with another girl who you figured must be Stella, Severide's girlfriend. Matt had spoken to you about how amazing they were as a couple, and it always made you happy to hear about them. With a deep breath, you made your way over to them.

"Hi!" You smiled. "I'm the new paramedic here working with... Sylvie Brett?" You ask unsurly, turning your head to glance at the blonde hoping you're right.

"Yes, that's me! Hi!" She answered enthusiastically, hugging you. Matt had mentioned how sweet she was but the embrace still caught you by surprise. Regardless, you hugged her back, accepting the kind gesture. Once you pulled away you waved at the other woman who smiled back at you, introducing herself as Stella Kidd.

After conversing with them for some time and getting to know one another, you headed off to the officer quarters with the hope of seeing your boyfriend.

Once you approached the office that was referred to Matt Casey, you knocked.

"Come in." You heard so you stepped inside, closing the door behind you.

"Hi baby," You said, smiling at him. He looked up from his desk, features softening as he noticed you.

"How's my favorite girl doing?" He asked standing up to give you a brief kiss on the cheek.

"I'm great! Everyone here is so nice and fun to talk to. They've all been so welcoming." You answered excitedly.

"See, I told you everyone would love you. What's there not to?" He asked rhetorically, making you smile as he placed his hands on your waist pulling you in closer. Matt's inability to keep his hands to himself never fails to make you laugh. It was all quickly forgotten though when he drew you in for a more passionate kiss when he noticed that there weren't any prying eyes on you.

As time passed, days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, you had seamlessly become a part of them. Each member of the group welcomed you with open arms, and it felt like you had found your place within the close-knit family they had formed at 51. It seemed like you had found a lasting bond and a sense of belonging with everyone there, envisioning a permanent future among them.

You became good friends with Sylvie and Stella, established a nice mentorship with Hermann, and created a sibling-like bond with Severide.

Most importantly though, to your knowledge, no one had suspected your relationship with Matt.

You wanted to say something, you really did. You didn't want him to think you were ashamed of being with him. But you didn't want the people you had grown so close to to think that you were only offered the position because of your relationship with him; even if you were confident that they weren't the type of people to believe that.

It was an ordinary day. You and Sylvie had just returned from responding to a call— nothing too serious, just tending to a man who had been cut by a broken mirror. Together with Sylvie, you bandaged him up and sent him to Med for stitches, wishing him a speedy recovery.

You were restocking the ambulance when Sylvie spoke up, "So, did you see the way that guy looked at you?"

You almost choked on your spit at her statement, not expecting it. "How did he look at me?"

"Oh c'mon- there were literally hearts in his eyes every time you spoke up while bandaging him!" She exclaimed a bit too loudly making you shush her.

"Who had hearts in his eyes?" Matt chimed in as he walked up to you and Brett, joining your conversation.

"No one," You say brushing him off but Sylvie interjects. "This guy we were helping earlier, he totally had the hots for our new paramedic over here." She said, nudging you with her arm in a teasing manner.

"Oh, did he?" Matt asked in a tone that sounded like he was joking but you could see the way his body tensed.

"It's whatever, nothing serious. It's not like I'm going to go on a date with him." You roll your eyes trying to dismiss the situation.

"You should!" Sylvie replies happily, "You're pretty and single. He wasn't bad on the eyes either, if you know what I mean. Go have some fun girl! Who knows, he could be the love of your life." She adds, winking.

Matt gave a half-hearted smile and walked away without acknowledging Brett, leaving her looking up in confusion. "What was that about?" She asked.

"No idea," You say shortly, despite knowing exactly what was going on.

Matthew Casey was jealous.

It was quite surprising because he had never shown signs of being the jealous type. In the past, if another man approached you in his presence, he would politely ask them to leave you alone, making it clear that you were already taken. Or he’d simply put his arm around you in a protective, not-so-friendly manner, letting everyone know that you were his. It never bothered you. You found it cute, actually.

But this? This was different. He had never acted this way, which concerned you.

After you were done restocking the ambo you made your way to his office, hoping to ease the tension.

You sighed as you knocked, hearing a quick come-in before stepping inside. You noticed he had his head buried in paperwork, not even acknowledging you as you came in.

"Matt, honey, what's wrong?" You asked, worried when he still didn't look up at you. You waited for a moment before continuing once he didn't reply, "Baby talk to me."

He sighs before finally looking into your eyes. His ocean blues never failed to make you weak in the knees. So intimidating but beautiful nevertheless.

"I don't want to keep this a secret any longer." He eventually replied, motioning between the two of you.

"I don't want to either but you know we can't."

"Why can't we?" He said, tone a bit sharp, causing you to flinch for a second.

"Because-" you were cut off by a knock on Matt's door making you straighten up.

"Sorry to interrupt, but there's someone here to see you Y/N." Said Severide as he poked his head into Casey's office letting you know before heading out.

You quickly glance at Matt sighing before leaving his office, silently apologizing. You hated leaving mid conversation but this could be important. You noticed him trailing behind you as you walked out but chose not to comment on it.

Once you were outside, you recognized him as the man you had sent to Med earlier. The same man who had 'the hots' for you apparently, according to Brett.

This was going to be a long conversation.

"Hello!" He said, way too ecstatic for someone who had just been discharged from a hospital.

"Hi there, how are you feeling?" You asked, keeping the conversation polite.

"Better thanks to you, you saved my life."

"Oh, you know, no big deal! Just doing my job."

"Well, I was hoping to take you out on a date as a way of saying thank you." He said with confidence, catching you off guard.

"I'm very flattered sir but you don't need to thank me, let alone take me out on a date. I'm happy to help, love what I do." You say, hoping that gets rid of him.

By now, you were fully aware that most of the members of the firehouse were watching the interaction occur from behind you. Hence why you were aiming to wrap it up as soon as possible.

"No, no, I insist. We'll have a great time together!" He pushes.

"Like I said, thanks for the offer but I'm going to have to decline. Feel better." You say, turning around.

Before you had a chance to walk away, he grabbed your wrist harshly. Pulling you backward, making you lose your balance, and almost causing you to fall.

"Woah woah woah-" "Back off!" You hear the men hurriedly interject pushing him away from you before Matt yells, in a tone that sends shivers down your spine. "Get your hands off of my paramedic before I call the authorities. You have no right to touch her, especially after she said no."

Boden hears the commotion and steps out of his office. "What's going on over here?"

"This man put his hands on Y/N after she rejected him Chief. He was just leaving though weren't, you?" Matt replies, glaring at the man making him quickly walk away.

The second that he was out of sight, everyone turned to you. Stella speaks up, "Are you okay?"

"Don't worry guys, I'm fine." You say looking around at all of them, reassuring them that you're okay. "Thanks for the help. I'm sure he won't be coming back any time soon, especially after the way Casey glared at him." You add chuckling, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere around you.

"You'd almost think you guys were dating with the way he attacked him to defend you," Severide commented casually, using a tone that sounded like he knew something. Which you decided to ignore for the time being.

At the mention of your boyfriend though, you looked up hoping to catch a glimpse of him but noticed he was nowhere to be found which alarmed you.

As the crowd dispersed and engaged in their own conversations, you discreetly slipped away and made your way to visit Matt in his quarters, marking this as your second visit there in the last half hour.

This time though, you didn't even bother knocking and simply walked in.

When he noticed it was you, he quickly stood up concerned, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

“Oh, I'm alright. Don't worry, it was nothing I hadn't dealt with before in this line of duty, you know how men can be sometimes.” You answered, nonchalantly.

You both stayed quiet for a moment, not knowing what to say. Finally, you decided to break the silence, “I'm sorry, Matt. I don't want to argue with you, so if it'll make you happy, we can go tell them right now.”

He sighed, turning around in his chair to look at you, “Y/N, this isn't just up to me, we’re in this relationship together. We have to make decisions like these as a team. I love you and I want everyone to know that but if you're not taking this seriously and want to go on that date instead then-”

“No! This is serious to me Matt, I love you and you know that.” You cut him off before he's able to finish the sentence. “I have eyes for you and only you, no one else matters to me but you, Matthew Casey.” You add firmly, making sure he understands that.

“Then what’s the issue here?” He asks, tired of the constant back and forth you've been having today.

You sigh and sit down on the edge of his bed before replying, “I just- I've become so close to everyone here in the last few weeks and I don't want their opinion of me to change after they find out that you and I are together. I don't want them to think that I'm only here because of you.”

“Baby…” He says in a softer tone, getting out of his seat to come sit next to you.

You don't look at him once he's sat beside you, opting to look at the floor instead.

“Hey, look at me.” He gently says taking your hands in his, grabbing your attention.

You hum as you bring your eyes up to meet his.

When he's sure you're not going to look away, he starts speaking, “Listen to me, everyone here? They're the most amazing and supportive group of people you'll ever meet. They won't dare say anything of the sort because they'd be beyond happy for us. And if they slightly even think about it, I won't hesitate to go all ‘Captain’ on them.” He says, making you chuckle.

“Besides, I don't want idiots like that guy who can't take no for an answer, hurting you again for a nonexistent chance of taking you out.” He adds.

You lean forward, pressing your forehead against his, and after a moment passes, you mutter a simple, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Matt questions.

“Yeah, okay, let’s tell them.” You reply, nodding enthusiastically.

“I want everyone to know that this handsome man right here,” You say pointing at his chest with a teasing tone, “Is of the market and mine only.”

“Yeah?” He grins.

“Mhm,” You say with an even bigger smile, before leaning in to press your lips against his.

As your lips finally touch, a wave of stillness washes over you. It feels as though the entire world has come to a halt and all that exists is the shared connection between the two of you. At that moment, nothing else matters except for the feeling of his lips against yours.

His delicate hand caresses your face, making you smile into the kiss as you pull him in closer, wrapping your arms around his neck. There's no need to hide your love for each other anymore, allowing your affection for one another to be expressed freely without the fear of secrecy. The rush of emotion flowing through you is intoxicating and God, it is an exhilarating feeling, one that you had never felt before.

Before the kiss could progress any further, you heard cheering outside making you pull away. You glance out the window to understand what the fuss is about when you notice that the blinds were left open, meaning that all of 51 just saw you kissing Matt.

Your cheeks flush with warmth, causing you to bury your face in Matt's shoulder as he laughs at your reaction. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer in a tight embrace.

You look up at him, mouthing an ‘I love you,’

He whispers back, “I love you too.”

He quickly leans in for one more peck against your lips, before bracing himself for all the questions you're about to receive once you head outside.

“You guys were betting on us?” You asked amused, raising your eyebrows at the exchange of money happening right in front of your eyes.

“Well, what were we supposed to do!?” Cruz exclaimed defensively, earning a giggle from you.

“I mean, we all knew you guys were head over heels for each other, that was obvious. We just didn't realize you had been together prior to all of this.” Added Ritter, shrugging.

“I can speak for everyone though when I say that we are all very happy for you two.” Said Herrmann, making everyone nod in agreement.

As soon as the initial stage of shock died down, Stella and Sylvie rushed over to you, enveloping you in a group hug, requesting all the juicy details. While Kelly simply gave Matt a supportive pat on the back, smiling at his best friend.

Soon, the questions regarding your relationship began pouring in. Matt drew you closer, wrapping his arm around your waist as he answered each of them one by one. You rested your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes briefly, basking in the serenity.

And at last, you found yourself finally feeling at ease. Your family knew, and they were happy for you. Which is all you could ask for.

[alotofpockets]

Last resort | Leslie Shay

Pairing: Leslie Shay x Firefighter!Reader Reader pronouns used: she/her Summary: Chief Boden orders everyone to evacuate the building, will you follow his orders when you hear a baby crying? Masterlist | Chicago Fire masterlist | Words: 2.1K

It had been a quiet day at 51, you were playing cards with the rest of squad 3 when the alarms went off, signaling all units to move to an apartment fire. You jumped up and ran to the truck, kicking your shoes off and stepping into your boots. You pulled the pants up, the suspenders over your shoulders, and hopped in your seat. Squad was the first to pull out of the firehouse. Severide taps away on his tablet, “Okay, squad, listen up. The fire is fully evolved. We’ll be the first company on scene, let’s work quickly. When we’re on scene we have to move fast. Let’s wait on Bodens orders, y/l/n you’re with Cruz, Tony with Capp, and Mills you’re with me. Do you copy?” You all let him know that you copy him and mentally prepare for the call you’re about to have.

When you arrive at the scene you can immediately tell that it’s bad. “Alright, people, let’s go to work.” Boden says over the radio. “Truck 81,  primary search on the first floor, Squad 3 you take the second and third. Engine, I want a line on the first floor and raise the aerial in case it’s needed. Ambulance 61, set up triage. Let’s go, people.” You look to Kelly to hear which floor you have to go to. “Cruz, y/l/n, second floor. The rest with me to the third.”

Once arrived on the second floor, you and Cruz go door to door. The fire has already reached this floor too, so you have to kick in all the doors to check for people that might’ve passed out from the smoke. Cruz takes the north wall and you take the south of the massive hallway. You kick in another door and yell, “Fire department, call out.” Into the room. You hear a man call out, “Over here.” They hid in the bathroom. You help them stand up and walk them back to the stairwell. They seemed to be doing fine, so you urged them to walk down by themselves, making sure to tell them to get checked out at triage. When you walk back you see Cruz helped an elderly woman to the stairs as well. “Need a hand?” You ask. He shakes his hand, “No, keep going, I’ve got this one.” So, you do, door after door, you search the room. A lot of the apartments are empty already, people that weren’t home or that walked downstairs at the first sign of something wrong, you were glad there weren’t a lot of people because the smoke started to get thicker and the flames bigger. Cruz was already back kicking in doors as well, when you heard Boden’s voice over the radio. “Attention all units, five more minutes and then I want everybody out.” You look over at the many doors you have yet to check and speed up your pace. 

It hadn’t even been five minutes yet when the next order came over the radio. “Attention all units, I’m calling it. Everybody out!” You hate leaving all these rooms unchecked, but you knew that Boden was right, the fire was strong. You followed Cruz towards the stairs when you heard a faint cry that stopped you in your tracks. When you heard it again, it sounded like a little kid. You had to make a decision, follow orders, or try to save the child. Against your better judgment you turn around and take off in the direction of the cries, leaving Cruz behind. The crying gets louder the further that you walk down the hallway, meaning that you are getting closer.

Cruz walks out the door and takes his mask off to take a deep breath. He sees the rest of 51  standing behind Boden, all looking in his direction. Boden is quick to speak up, “Cruz, where is y/l/n?” Cruz looks around thinking you were right behind him this whole time. “She was right behind me.” He says in disbelief, already putting his mask back on. “Cruz, stand down. I can’t let anyone back in.” He reaches for his radio. “Y/l/n, report. I want you out of this building, right now.” You hear his request on the radio, but ignore it as you’re kicking in the door that you hear the crying coming from. The fire has already made it through the ceiling of the living room, you crouch down making your way over to the crying. When you reach an open bedroom door you find the crying baby. He was lying in the arms of a woman laying on the floor. You quickly check for a pulse, you’re relieved when you feel a regular heartbeat, she must have passed out from all the smoke that was filling the room. “Y/l/n, report.” You hear over the radio again, worry now present in his voice. You don’t have time to respond as you hear a voice coming from underneath the bed. “Is mommy okay?” You look under and find a girl who can’t be more than three years old. Your heart sinks, how were you going to get all three of them out, with the fire getting stronger and stronger. Setting aside your worries, you pull her out from under the bed. “Mommy is okay, the smoke just made her really sleepy, that’s all.” You take the young girl by the hand and pick up the baby, to move them to the bathroom where you’d all have some more room to breathe. “I’m going to get your mommy now. I will be right back, I promise.” You sit down next to the mom, feeling her pulse once again. Still a steady heartbeat. You reach for your radio. “Chief.” You take a deep breath before speaking again. “Chief, is Leslie with you?” Chief Boden ushers Shay closer. “She’s standing next to me. What's going on?” Shay shares a worried look with him. “Leslie, baby, are you there?” You hear her respond with a shaky voice. “Yes, the line is open, you’re scaring me, what’s going on?” - “I love you so much, but I have to try. I just wanted to let you know that I love you, in case I..” She interrupts you, “Don’t say it, you come back to me okay. I love you, please come back to me.” It breaks your heart to hear her like this. “I’ll try my best, I promise.”

You grab the bedsheet and drag the mom towards the bathroom where you left the kids. Once inside you take off your mask. The little girl is crying, you take off your glove and wipe away the tears. “I know it’s scary, but I’m here to help. My name is y/n, what about you?” Between sobs she tells you that her name is Mila. “Okay, Mila, let’s get you all out of here.” You take off your oxygen tank and your coat, before you turn the water on in the bath, drowning the bedsheets. “Mila, honey, come here. I’m going to wrap this around you, okay? And then I want you to climb on my back.” The girl nods. You were trying to create some sort of carrier with the sheet that would hold both Mila and her little brother, so that your hands were free for their mom.” Once you had Mila attached to your back, you picked up the baby and wrapped him to your front. “I’m going to put my coat back over you okay, I want you to be very still and hold on to me, okay honey?” You button up the coat so that both the kids are safe from the fire. With the remaining part of the bedding you wrap up the mom’s body, making sure that she has some kind of protection from the flames before you pick her up and take one last breath of oxygen from your mask, since you had to leave it behind. 

The fire had spread through more parts of the apartment, but there was no going back now. You went around as much fire as possible and jumped through the ones you couldn’t go around. To your surprise you made it to the stairs. You hold the mom close as you decent, quick but careful. The smoke was really starting to get to you, but you couldn’t stop, you made a promise to Mila and you intend on keeping it. 

Outside the team was watching the building, hoping and praying that you would walk out of the door. They didn’t believe their eyes when they saw you exit the building, everyone running your way. Kelly takes the woman out of your arms and lays her down on the stretcher from one of the paramedics. You fall to your knees from coughing so much. Leslie sits down with you trying to calm down your breathing, while Cruz tries to help you up, but you push him off. Between coughs you manage to say, “The kids.” - “We can’t go back in, y/l/n. It’s too dangerous.” You shake your head and open your coat, revealing the improvised baby carrier. You shake off your coat to reveal a second child. Once your teammates take the kids from you to get checked out. Dawson is by your side with an oxygen mask, you eagerly put it over your face and take some deep breaths. “You scared me so much, please never do that again.” Leslie says hugging you tight. 

Chief Boden steps your way. “You did good, y/l/n.” He says. “Get yourself checked out at the hospital, you took in a lot of smoke.” You nod in agreement. Dawson steps up to Boden, “Can Shay and I take her? I know Shay won’t want to leave her side right now.” Boden agrees to let them take you and will let dispatch know that ambulance 61 is out of order for the time being. 

The doctors do some tests, they all go well and you are cleared to start duty right away. Dawson drives the ambulance back to the firehouse where your teammates gather as soon as they hear you pull up. You step out of the back with Leslie, as soon as they see you they’re all relieved to see you’re doing so well. “I’m all good, don’t worry guys.” You walk up to the Chief. “I got cleared for duty, Sir. I did have to leave some of my gear behind, though.” Boden nods, “We’ve got some spare tanks and masks, don’t worry about it. Glad to have you back.” Once Boden walks away you turn your attention back to the team, they all give you a hug or pat on the back. Luckily the rest of the day was slow, just a couple small calls, so you were able to catch your breath a bit more. 

After a night of uninterrupted sleep, you join the team for breakfast. Mills cooked, and it was delicious as always. Boden ordered an inventory check on all the vehicles, so that’s where you headed next. You were crouched down checking equipment when you heard people walking outside. “Mommy, I see her!” You turn around at the familiar voice. Mila comes running up to you and jumps into your arms. “Hi Mila.” You hug her tight, seeing them here meant so much. Since another ambulance company treated them, you didn’t know how they were doing. Mila lets go after a while remembering something. “We made you cookies.” You smile at the little girl, you had only seen her scared on the scene, which made seeing her so cheerful now even more happy. She pulls you over to her mom who was talking with Leslie and Chief Boden. “Hi, I’m y/n, nice to meet you.” You say extending your hand. Instead of shaking your hand she goes in for a hug. “I’m sorry.” She says while stepping back. “Shaking your hand didn’t seem enough, you saved my life.” She looks down at her kids and adds, “Their lives. I owe you everything.” You smile at her, “No need to apologize, and of course, I was just doing my job.” The woman shakes her head, “Everyone that I have talked to has said that you went above and beyond for us. So, thank you. Thank you so much.” Hearing back from the people that you saved was so special. Knowing that you’re the reason they are able to stand right in front of you. “Do you have some time to stick around? I would love to show Mila the trucks, if she’d like.” Mila was already nodding her head enthusiastically, “Please, Mommy.” 

Your girlfriend was watching you in awe as you posed for pictures with Mila on your lap behind the steering wheel of the Squad truck. While Chief Boden was proudly watching you interact with the family that you saved. 

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[logansargeantsbabymom]

None Of This Is Your Fault.

Brian "Otis" Zvonecek x Fem!Firefighter!Reader

A/N: Sorry that I've been so inactive, I know this is no excuse but I school started and my job is starting to get into it's busy season and to my luck I managed to tear my meniscus and I've been in so much pain so writing has been the least of my concerns. I am getting surgery on Thursday so I will be writing more soon. For now, please enjoy my new fic.

This is a 20 chapter story and I've put 10 chapters in one fic. It's a lot but this is my apology for being inactive.

Chapter 1:

Five years. That’s how long I’ve been with Brian. It feels like a lifetime and just a blink at the same time. We met in the most unconventional of ways—running into each other during a late-night call, both of us soaked in sweat, soot smeared across our faces, the smell of smoke thick in the air. It wasn’t the most romantic setting, but maybe that’s why it worked. There was no need for pretenses between us. We were both drawn to the fire, the adrenaline, the chaotic beauty of our work. And somehow, through the chaos, I found him.

Brian “Otis” Zvonecek—my partner in every sense of the word. He’s not the guy who sweeps you off your feet with grand gestures or sweet talk. No, Brian is the guy who shows up every single day. He’s steady. Kind. Funny in the way that only he can be, with those ridiculous puns and the way his face lights up when he thinks he’s landed a good one. It’s impossible not to laugh when he’s around, and God, that’s what I love most about him—he makes everything lighter, even when the world feels heavy.

But these days, the world is feeling a little heavier than usual.

We’ve both been working nonstop—Firehouse 51 is like a second home, though lately, it feels more like a first. There’s something comforting about the firehouse, the constant hum of activity, the sound of the trucks rumbling to life, the distant chatter of my crew—no, my family. And Brian? He’s always been at the center of it all. Our relationship bloomed in this place, surrounded by the people who understand what we go through every day.

I remember the early days with him so clearly. It started as a few casual glances across the engine bay, nothing serious at first. Just an awareness of him. His laugh was what caught me. The way he threw his head back, completely unguarded, while the rest of us were tense and wired after a tough call. He had this way of letting it all roll off his back, and I admired that.

It wasn’t long before we were partnered on every shift, making excuses to grab dinner after. One night, after a particularly tough rescue, he suggested we go for wings. I was exhausted, drained, and covered in soot, but something in his voice made me agree. I needed that—something normal, something grounding. We sat in that little corner booth, devouring spicy wings, laughing about the ridiculousness of our lives. It was simple, but it was the first time I felt like I had found something real. Something worth holding onto.

That’s how we’ve always been—just us, grounded in the simplicity of being together. No grand romantic gestures, no pressure to be anything other than who we are.

And for five years, it worked. I always felt secure with Brian. Sure, we’ve had our share of arguments—what couple doesn’t?—but they were always small, petty things. We’d bicker about who forgot to fill the gas tank or who left the towels on the floor, but those disagreements never lasted long. We were always able to laugh it off, make a joke, and move forward.

Lately, though, I’ve been different. Not us—me. I feel it deep inside, like there’s something pulling me away, pulling us apart. I don’t know why, but these past few months, things that shouldn’t bother me do. Things that used to make me laugh now irritate me. And sometimes, when the irritation boils over, I lose control in a way I never have before.

Brian doesn’t say it, but I can tell he’s worried. He’s always watching me now, his brown eyes searching for some sign that I’m still the same Y/N he fell in love with. But the truth is, I don’t feel like the same person anymore, and that scares me more than I care to admit. The outbursts come out of nowhere—sudden, violent flashes of anger—and then, just as quickly, they’re gone, like they never happened. And the worst part? I can’t remember them.

It’s terrifying.

It started small. A broken plate here, a slammed door there. I chalked it up to stress. Firefighting is a tough job, and we’re no strangers to pressure. But as the weeks turned into months, the episodes became harder to ignore. They were no longer just occasional moments of frustration—they were frequent, and sometimes, I wouldn’t even realize something was wrong until I saw the look in Brian’s eyes. That look of concern, like he didn’t know how to help me, like he was afraid to say the wrong thing. I hated that look. It made me feel like I was losing him, losing us.

But I kept telling myself it was fine. I was fine. If I just pushed through, if I worked harder, the episodes would stop. I thought if I ignored it, I could outrun it.

I was wrong.

Tonight, as I lie in bed next to Brian, listening to his soft breathing, I can’t shake the feeling that something big is coming. Something we won’t be able to ignore. I stare at the ceiling, the weight of it pressing down on me, my chest tightening. The love I have for him is overwhelming, and I don’t know how to protect it anymore.

Brian stirs beside me, his arm draping across my waist as he pulls me closer in his sleep. I close my eyes, taking in the warmth of his body, the familiar scent of him. He feels like home. But the fear of losing that—of losing him—is more than I can bear.

Tomorrow is another shift. Another 48-hour stretch. I tell myself things will get better, that I just need to push through. But deep down, I know something has to give.

And I’m terrified that when it does, it’ll be too late to save what we’ve built.

Chapter 2:

The first time it happened, I barely noticed it. Looking back, that should have been my first clue. It was such a small thing—a flash of frustration that I thought was just stress from work. We were off-duty, Brian and I, sitting at the kitchen table after a long day. We’d been talking about the usual—our shifts, the next firehouse event, Cruz’s latest terrible joke. Brian had a way of making everything feel easy. Comfortable.

But that night, something was different.

I don’t even remember what set me off. One minute, we were laughing, and the next, I felt this surge of anger bubbling up inside me. It wasn’t anything Brian said or did, not really. It was more like a wave crashing over me, completely out of my control. I felt like I was drowning in it, and the next thing I knew, I was standing over the kitchen sink, my hands trembling as I stared at the shattered remains of a glass I didn’t even remember throwing.

Brian was standing a few feet away, his face pale, his eyes wide with shock.

“Y/N… what just happened?” His voice was quiet, careful.

I blinked, trying to piece together the moment, but it was like a fog had settled over my mind. “I—I don’t know.” My voice sounded distant, unfamiliar. “I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay,” he said quickly, stepping forward. He placed his hand gently on my arm, his touch grounding me. “It’s okay. It was just a glass.”

But it wasn’t just the glass, and we both knew it. Something had shifted inside me, something dark and uncontrollable. And the worst part was, I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t tell Brian what was wrong because I didn’t know.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my throat tight. “I don’t know what happened.”

Brian smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s fine. We’re both tired. It was just a glass.”

I nodded, but as I swept up the broken shards, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had broken inside me, too. And it wasn’t going to be as easy to put back together.

Chapter 3:

Weeks passed, and the tension in the air between Brian and me seemed to grow with each passing day. It wasn’t just at home anymore—my outbursts were starting to creep into our shifts at the firehouse. It wasn’t anything major at first, just little moments where I’d snap at someone or lose my temper more easily than usual. Everyone chalked it up to the stress of the job, and I let them. It was easier than admitting something was wrong.

But inside, I could feel it building—this pressure, like a balloon swelling inside my chest, ready to burst. I thought I could handle it. I thought if I kept myself busy, if I focused on the work, I could push it down. But firefighting isn’t a job where you can afford to lose control.

I remember one call in particular. It was a standard house fire, nothing we hadn’t seen a thousand times before. The flames were manageable, but there was a lot of smoke. We went in as a team, each of us with a role, moving in sync like we always did. Brian was with me, like he usually was, our movements so familiar we didn’t even need to talk to communicate.

But something was off that day. The smoke felt heavier than usual, the heat more oppressive. My helmet felt like it was pressing down on my skull, making my head throb. I tried to push through it, focusing on the task at hand, but my mind was racing. Every sound—the crackle of flames, the muffled voices over the radio, even my own breathing in the mask—felt like it was closing in on me.

“Y/N, you good?” Brian’s voice crackled through my radio.

“I’m fine,” I muttered, though my vision was starting to blur at the edges. We were almost done, just a few more minutes. I could make it. I had to.

But then, out of nowhere, the frustration hit me. I don’t know why—it wasn’t a particularly stressful call—but something inside me snapped. I felt a surge of anger, irrational and uncontrollable. I swung my axe harder than I needed to, cutting through debris with more force than was necessary. I heard Brian call my name again, concern clear in his voice, but I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I was too focused on the pounding in my head, the rage bubbling just beneath the surface.

When we finally exited the building, I ripped off my helmet and tossed it to the ground, breathing heavily. My heart was racing, my hands trembling.

“What the hell, Y/N?” Brian was at my side, his voice sharp. “You could’ve hurt yourself in there.”

“I’m fine,” I snapped, my voice harsher than I intended. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” he said, his brow furrowing as he looked at me. “You’ve been off lately. This isn’t like you.”

I turned away, not wanting to hear the concern in his voice. I didn’t want to admit that he was right—that something was wrong with me. “I told you, I’m fine.”

But I wasn’t. I knew it, and Brian knew it, too.

Chapter 4:

The firehouse had always been a place of comfort for me. It was where I felt in control, where I knew I could make a difference. But lately, even that had started to feel like a burden. My outbursts were becoming more frequent, and I could see the strain it was putting on everyone—especially Brian.

At home, things were getting harder. Brian tried to be patient, but I could see the frustration in his eyes whenever I lost my temper. He’d always been the calm one, the one who could smooth things over with a joke or a smile. But even he couldn’t keep pretending that everything was fine.

We had one of our worst fights a few nights after that call. I don’t even remember what started it—something small, something stupid. But it spiraled out of control so fast. One minute, we were sitting on the couch, watching a movie, and the next, I was yelling at him, accusing him of things that didn’t even make sense.

“You don’t even care about me anymore!” I shouted, the words spilling out of my mouth before I could stop them. “You’re always at work, or with Cruz, or doing anything but being here with me!”

Brian looked at me like I’d just slapped him. “Y/N, what are you talking about? I’m always with you! We work together, we live together—how much closer can we get?”

“That’s not what I mean!” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but I didn’t care. “You’re here, but you’re not really here. You don’t look at me the same way anymore. You don’t—”

“Stop,” he cut me off, his voice calm but firm. “That’s not true, and you know it. I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

His words should have soothed me. They should have made me feel safe. But instead, they only made the anger flare hotter. “Then why do I feel so alone?” I whispered, my voice breaking.

Brian’s face softened, and he took a step closer, reaching for my hand. “Y/N, I’m right here. You’re not alone. But something’s going on with you, and you won’t talk to me about it.”

I yanked my hand away, refusing to meet his eyes. “I’m fine,” I muttered for what felt like the hundredth time.

But I wasn’t. I wasn’t fine, and I was pushing him away without even meaning to. I could see it in his eyes—the worry, the frustration, the helplessness. He didn’t know how to fix this, and neither did I.

That night, we went to bed without saying another word. Brian turned his back to me, and I lay there, staring at the ceiling, feeling the weight of my own silence pressing down on me. I wanted to reach out to him, to tell him I was scared, that I didn’t know what was happening to me. But the words wouldn’t come.

All I could do was lie there and wonder how much longer we could keep pretending that everything was okay.

Chapter 5:

The firehouse was unusually quiet that night. It was the kind of quiet that crept into your bones, making you restless. We were on the second day of a 48-hour shift, and exhaustion hung in the air. Normally, a shift like this didn’t faze me—adrenaline and routine kept me going. But tonight, my head felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. The migraine was pounding behind my eyes, a dull, throbbing pain that no amount of coffee could fix.

I rubbed my temples, trying to will the headache away. Brian had noticed it earlier in the shift and offered me some Tylenol, but I turned him down. There was something about this headache that felt different, heavier. And I was already on edge—there was no way I wanted to dull my senses while on duty.

I kept my distance from the crew tonight, choosing to sit quietly at the kitchen table, nursing my coffee and staring blankly at the TV. Normally, I’d be laughing with the rest of them, especially Brian and Cruz, who were busy trading ridiculous jokes and stories. But I couldn’t focus on any of it. The migraine had lodged itself deep in my skull, making every sound feel like nails on a chalkboard.

I was counting down the hours. Only eight more hours of this shift. And then, finally, Brian and I could go home, grab food from the new Wingstop, and just unwind. It had been a long week, and I was craving something normal, something that would remind me of the simplicity of us. I clung to the thought of getting those wings together. It was the one thing keeping me grounded, the one thing I was looking forward to after the chaos of the last two days.

As if on cue, Brian wandered over to me, his smile easy as always, though I could see the concern lingering in his eyes.

“Hey,” he said softly, sitting down across from me. “How’s your head?”

I forced a small smile, though I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. “Still there, but it’ll pass. Just need to get through these last few hours.”

“We’re almost done,” Brian said, his hand reaching out to gently brush mine. “And then it’s Wingstop time, right? I’m starving.”

I nodded, feeling a small flicker of relief. “Yeah, can’t wait. Been thinking about it all day.”

Brian paused, his brow furrowing slightly. “Actually… about that. I just grabbed Wingstop with Cruz an hour ago. Didn’t realize you’d still want it tonight. You cool with grabbing something else?”

The words barely registered at first. They came out so casually, so matter-of-fact. But as they sank in, I felt a sharp, searing heat rise in my chest. My fingers tightened around the coffee mug in my hand as the rage swelled, unbidden and uncontrollable. I blinked, my vision blurring for a moment as my heart pounded in my ears.

“Wait, what?” I could hear the edge in my voice, sharp and venomous, even as I tried to keep it together. “You just had Wingstop? You knew we were supposed to get it together after shift.”

Brian’s eyes widened, taken aback by the sudden shift in my tone. “I didn’t think it’d be a big deal. We can still get it if you want. I’ll eat it with you, no problem.”

“No,” I snapped, the word flying out before I could stop it. “I don’t want it anymore.”

Brian frowned, confusion and concern mingling on his face. “Y/N, what’s going on? It’s just food. If you want Wingstop, we’ll get Wingstop. It’s not a big deal.”

But to me, it was a big deal. It felt like everything—the headache, the exhaustion, the tension between us—was boiling over, and this one tiny thing had pushed me over the edge. I could feel it happening, the anger building into something unstoppable, and I hated it. I hated that I couldn’t control it, couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out.

“You always do this!” I shouted, my voice breaking as the room seemed to close in around me. “You say one thing and then turn around and do whatever you want! Do you even care about what I want anymore? All I wanted was this shift to end so we could finally go home and have a normal night together. But no—of course you couldn’t even wait for me to get the food we talked about!”

“Y/N,” Brian said softly, reaching out to touch my arm, “I didn’t mean—”

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” I jerked away from him, my heart racing as the room fell silent. Everyone was staring now—Cruz, Mouch, Sylvie, Herrmann. Even Chief Boden, who had been standing by the door, was watching with furrowed brows.

I could feel my hands shaking, my vision blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. “All I wanted,” I choked out, my voice trembling, “was a little quality time with my boyfriend. But instead, I get stuck on this miserable shift with a migraine and a boyfriend who only cares about himself.”

The words hung in the air like poison, and as soon as they left my mouth, I felt something inside me shatter. My heart was pounding, my breath coming in ragged gasps, and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face. I didn’t even recognize myself in that moment. This wasn’t me.

Brian stood there, frozen, his face pale with shock and hurt. “Y/N, I…”

But before he could say anything else, it was like a switch had flipped. The anger drained out of me as quickly as it had come, leaving me feeling hollow and confused. I blinked, wiping my tear-streaked face as I straightened my posture, suddenly aware of the silence in the room.

“Why… why am I crying?” I asked, my voice soft, bewildered. I looked around at everyone’s faces—confusion, concern, shock—all eyes on me. The pressure in my head eased slightly, the migraine fading as quickly as it had come.

Without another word, I turned and walked to the bathroom, the weight of everyone’s stares pressing down on me like a heavy fog.

Chapter 6:

I spent a long time in the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face and staring at my reflection in the mirror. My face was flushed, my eyes red from crying, but it wasn’t the physical exhaustion that scared me. It was the blank space in my mind, the way the anger had flared so hot and fast, only to disappear without a trace. I didn’t remember half of what I’d said, and what I did remember felt like it had come from someone else’s mouth, not mine.

I leaned against the sink, gripping the edge of the counter so hard my knuckles turned white. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but it was getting worse. And I was terrified.

When I finally stepped out of the bathroom, I saw Brian waiting for me by the door. His face was etched with worry, but his voice was calm and steady when he spoke. “Chief wants to see us in his office.”

My stomach dropped. I nodded silently and followed him down the hall, my footsteps heavy, my heart pounding in my chest. Chief Boden rarely called anyone into his office unless it was serious. And this? This was definitely serious.

When we stepped into the office, Chief was sitting behind his desk, his expression unreadable. He gestured for us to sit, and the tension in the room was thick as we did. Brian sat next to me, close but not touching, his hands resting tensely in his lap.

“Y/N,” Chief Boden began, his deep voice gentle but firm. “Brian explained what’s been going on with you lately. I need you to listen carefully to what I’m about to say.”

I nodded, my throat tight.

“I’ve seen my share of stress in this job. I’ve seen how it can affect people—physically, mentally, emotionally. But what happened out there today wasn’t normal, and it wasn’t safe. For you or for anyone else. You’ve been one of the best firefighters on this team, but I can’t have you putting yourself or others at risk.”

I swallowed hard, the weight of his words settling over me like a cold blanket.

“I’m not asking,” Chief continued, his eyes locking onto mine. “I’m ordering you to go to Chicago Med. You’re not coming back on shift until the doctors clear you.”

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “Chief, I—”

“This isn’t up for discussion,” he said, his voice softening but still firm. “You need to get checked out. Something’s going on, and you can’t ignore it anymore.”

I felt Brian’s hand brush against mine, a silent show of support, but I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t face the disappointment in his eyes. All I could do was nod again, feeling a wave of helplessness crash over me.

“Take the rest of the day,” Chief said. “Go to Med. We’ll be here for whatever you need, but you’re not coming back until you get answers.”

Brian stood up, helping me to my feet as we left the office in silence. I could barely process what had just happened—how quickly everything had spiraled out of control. As we walked out of the firehouse and towards the car

Chapter 7:

The ride to Chicago Med was eerily quiet. Brian drove, his hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tight, his gaze focused on the road. I sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window, my mind a blur of confusion, guilt, and fear. Every bump in the road sent a fresh wave of pain through my skull, but it wasn’t just the migraine anymore—it was the uncertainty gnawing at my insides. Something was wrong with me. Deep down, I knew that now. But the thought of facing it, of having a doctor tell me what was happening… I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.

Brian didn’t say much during the drive, and I was grateful for that. I wasn’t sure what I would have said if he’d asked me how I was feeling. How was I supposed to explain the emptiness inside me, the way I felt like a stranger in my own body?

As we pulled into the parking lot of Chicago Med, Brian finally spoke, his voice soft but steady. “I’m coming in with you.”

I nodded, unable to find the words to argue. I didn’t want to do this alone. I didn’t want to walk into that hospital and face whatever it was that had been slowly unraveling me. And as much as I hated feeling vulnerable, I needed him with me.

The bright lights of the hospital stung my eyes as we walked through the automatic doors, the sterile smell of antiseptic hitting me like a wall. Brian led the way, his hand resting on the small of my back, guiding me through the bustling halls. We didn’t have to wait long before we were ushered into an exam room by a nurse, who took my vitals and asked the standard questions.

Then, there was more waiting.

I sat on the exam table, swinging my legs back and forth, my hands folded tightly in my lap. Brian stood next to me, close enough that our arms brushed every now and then, but he didn’t speak. He didn’t need to. His presence was enough—steady, calming, even though I knew he was as scared as I was.

After what felt like an eternity, the door swung open, and Dr. Will Halstead walked in. I knew him well—he’d treated me a few times before, and he was a friend of ours outside of work. But today, he didn’t greet me with the usual smile or lighthearted joke. His expression was serious, concerned.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, glancing between me and Brian as he took a seat on the stool across from us. “I hear you’ve been having some… unusual symptoms.”

I nodded, my throat tight. “Yeah. I guess you could say that.”

Will frowned, his brow furrowing as he flipped through my chart. “Brian filled me in on what’s been going on. The headaches, the mood swings, the memory loss… we’re going to run a few tests to get a clearer picture. I know it’s scary, but we need to figure out what’s causing all of this.”

I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my chest. “Do you have any idea what it could be?”

Will hesitated, and that hesitation sent a chill down my spine. “There are a few possibilities,” he said carefully, “but I don’t want to jump to conclusions until we have more information. We’re going to start with a CT scan to get a look at what’s going on inside your brain.”

Inside my brain.

The words echoed in my head, sending a fresh wave of panic through me. I glanced at Brian, who was watching me closely, his expression unreadable. He reached out, taking my hand in his, and I squeezed it tightly, my pulse racing beneath my skin.

“Okay,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “Let’s do it.”

Chapter 8:

The waiting was the worst part.

After the CT scan, they sent me back to the exam room to wait while the results were processed. Every second that ticked by felt like an hour. I sat there, nervously tapping my foot on the floor, while Brian paced back and forth in front of me. His anxiety was palpable, and it mirrored the panic building in my chest. I didn’t know what was worse—the not knowing, or the fear of what we were about to find out.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Will came back into the room, holding a manila folder in his hand. His expression was serious—too serious. My stomach twisted into knots as I watched him sit down again, the air between us heavy with tension.

“Y/N,” he began, his voice low, “I’m not going to sugarcoat this. The CT scan showed something concerning.”

I felt Brian’s hand tighten around mine, his grip almost painfully strong. I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt tight, my heart pounding in my ears. “What is it?” I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Will took a deep breath, his eyes soft with sympathy. “You have a tumor in your brain. It’s located in the frontal lobe, which explains the mood swings and memory lapses you’ve been experiencing. It’s putting pressure on the surrounding areas, which is likely causing the migraines as well.”

A tumor. The word hit me like a freight train, knocking the air from my lungs. I stared at Will, uncomprehending, as if he’d just spoken a foreign language.

A tumor. In my brain.

I felt the world tilt beneath me, everything spinning out of control. My heart pounded in my chest, and I was suddenly aware of every sound, every breath, every sensation. Brian’s hand in mine, Will’s steady gaze, the sterile scent of the hospital—all of it felt too real, too overwhelming.

“I—I don’t understand,” I stammered, shaking my head. “A tumor? How…?”

Will nodded gently, leaning forward, his tone careful but honest. “It’s a lot to process, I know. But the good news is that we caught it early. It’s operable, which means we can remove it. We’re going to need to schedule surgery as soon as possible.”

Surgery. Tumor. The words swirled in my head, but none of them made sense. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was healthy. I was a firefighter—I fought through flames, saved lives. I wasn’t supposed to be the one lying in a hospital bed, waiting for a doctor to cut into my skull.

I felt my hands start to tremble, and suddenly, the weight of everything came crashing down on me. The months of mood swings, the fights with Brian, the outbursts I couldn’t control—it all made sense now. There was a tumor inside me, something foreign and dangerous, controlling me from the inside out.

“Oh my God,” I whispered, my voice breaking as the tears started to fall. “Brian… I’m so sorry.”

Brian’s arms were around me in an instant, pulling me close as I sobbed into his chest. “No,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Y/N. None of this is your fault.”

“But I—” I tried to speak, but the words were lost in the sobs that shook my body. All the anger, the fear, the guilt—I couldn’t hold it back anymore. “I’ve been awful to you. I didn’t know…”

Brian held me tighter, his hand running through my hair as he pressed his cheek to the top of my head. “It doesn’t matter,” he whispered. “None of it matters. We’re going to get through this. You’re going to be okay.”

I wanted to believe him, but all I could think about was the word that Will had said: tumor.

Chapter 9:

We left Chicago Med in a daze. The world outside felt too normal, too calm, compared to the storm raging inside me. The sky was still a brilliant blue, people walked down the street, completely oblivious to the fact that my life had just been turned upside down. Brian drove in silence, his hand resting on mine, squeezing gently every so often as if he was reminding himself I was still there. I couldn’t get the word out of my head—tumor.

It felt like some terrible nightmare, one that I hadn’t woken up from yet. Except this wasn’t a nightmare. This was real, and no amount of blinking or pinching myself would make it go away.

We pulled into the firehouse parking lot. I didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to face the crew and see their reactions when they found out. But we had to. They were my family—they deserved to know.

As soon as we stepped inside, I could feel the weight of everyone’s stares. They knew something was wrong. Cruz and Mouch were sitting on the couch, glancing at us with concern. Herrmann, sitting at the table, stood up as soon as he saw us, his brow furrowed.

“Everything okay?” he asked, his voice cautious.

I looked at Brian, but the words got stuck in my throat. How was I supposed to tell them? How was I supposed to explain that everything I’d been through over the past few months wasn’t just stress or exhaustion, but something far more terrifying?

Brian took a deep breath, his voice low and steady. “We went to Chicago Med. Will Halstead ran some tests on Y/N.” He paused, his grip on my hand tightening. “They found a tumor. In her brain.”

The room went silent.

It was like the air had been sucked out of the firehouse. I could see the shock ripple across their faces, the confusion, the fear. Cruz’s mouth opened as if to say something, but no words came out. Boden stepped forward, his eyes filled with quiet understanding.

“A tumor?” Herrmann repeated, his voice barely above a whisper. “What does that mean? Is it… is it serious?”

I took a shaky breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. “It’s operable,” I said, the words sounding distant, as if someone else were speaking them. “They’re scheduling the surgery soon. I’ll… I’ll be okay. That’s what Will said.”

But as I said it, I wasn’t sure if I believed it. The fear gnawed at my insides, making it hard to breathe, hard to think. How could I be sure everything would be okay when nothing felt okay right now?

There was a long, heavy pause before Boden spoke. “We’re going to be here for you, Y/N,” he said softly, his voice steady and full of quiet authority. “Whatever you need—whether it’s before, during, or after the surgery—you’re not going through this alone.”

The words should have brought me comfort, but instead, they only made the knot in my chest tighten. I didn’t want to be the one who needed help. I didn’t want to be the one who was weak, who was sick. I was a firefighter. I was supposed to be strong, to take care of others. Not the other way around.

But now, everything had changed.

I couldn’t hold it back any longer. The sobs broke through, my chest heaving as I tried to breathe, to speak. “I’m sorry,” I choked out, my voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”

Boden stepped closer, his hand resting gently on my shoulder. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said softly.

But I did. I was sorry for everything—for the outbursts, for the way I’d lashed out at Brian, for the times I’d scared the crew with my unpredictability. I felt like I was falling apart, unraveling at the seams, and I couldn’t stop it.

Brian pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly as the tears streamed down my face. I felt everyone’s eyes on us, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t hold anything back anymore. I cried for everything—the fear, the uncertainty, the guilt.

“I don’t know how to do this,” I whispered into Brian’s chest, my voice trembling. “I don’t know how to be this person. I don’t know how to… how to be weak.”

Brian’s voice cracked as he held me even closer. “You’re not weak,” he whispered fiercely. “You’ve never been weak, Y/N. You’re the strongest person I know. And you don’t have to go through this alone. We’re all here for you—for whatever you need.”

I shook my head, pulling back just enough to look up at him, my eyes red and swollen. “But I’ve been so awful to you. I pushed you away. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I—”

“Stop,” he cut me off, his voice thick with emotion. “None of that matters now. None of it. You were scared, and you didn’t know why. But we know now. And we’re going to fix it. Together.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted so badly to believe that everything would be okay. But the fear was still there, lurking in the background, whispering that things might never be the same again.

The crew stepped forward one by one, each offering words of support, hugs, and quiet reassurances. It was overwhelming—feeling so much love and care when all I felt inside was fear. I wanted to tell them how much it meant to me, how grateful I was, but the words got stuck in my throat.

Finally, Boden spoke again, his voice gentle but firm. “You need to rest, Y/N. Go home, get some sleep, and prepare for the surgery. We’ll be with you every step of the way.”

I nodded, though I wasn’t sure I’d be able to sleep with everything swirling inside me. But I appreciated the sentiment. I appreciated all of them.

Brian took my hand, and we started to leave. As we walked out of the firehouse, I looked back at the crew—my family—standing there, watching us with worried eyes. They believed in me. They believed I could get through this.

I just wished I could believe it too.

Chapter 10:

The night before the surgery was the longest night of my life.

Brian and I went back to our apartment, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the silence between us wasn’t filled with tension or misunderstanding. It was just… heavy. There was nothing more to say, nothing more to do but wait. I could see the worry etched into Brian’s face every time I caught him glancing at me. He tried to hide it, but I knew him too well.

We made dinner, but I could barely eat. The thought of surgery, of having someone cut into my brain, was too much to bear. I pushed the food around on my plate, my stomach churning with anxiety.

Brian eventually took my hand, pulling me into the living room. We sat on the couch, and I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as he gently stroked my hair. His touch was soothing, grounding me when my mind started to spiral.

“I’m scared,” I admitted quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” Brian whispered back, his voice soft and full of love. “I’m scared too. But you’re going to get through this. We’re going to get through this.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to hold onto his words like a lifeline. But the fear, the uncertainty—it was all-consuming. I couldn’t shake the thought that something could go wrong, that I might not wake up after the surgery, that everything could change in a matter of hours.

“What if…” I started, my voice trembling. “What if something happens? What if I’m not the same after?”

Brian’s hand stilled in my hair, and he pulled back just enough to look at me. His eyes were filled with so much love, so much emotion, that it took my breath away.

“No matter what happens,” he said softly, “I’m here. I love you, Y/N. Nothing’s going to change that.”

The tears welled up again, and I blinked them away, trying to stay strong. But Brian’s words broke something inside me, and before I knew it, I was sobbing, my whole body shaking as I clung to him.

“I don’t want to lose myself,” I cried. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” Brian whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “You won’t lose me. You’re not going anywhere, Y/N. You’re stronger than this. We’ll face whatever comes next together.”

I buried my face in his chest, feeling the warmth of his arms around me, and for the first time that night, I allowed myself to believe him.

[loverllyhurtswithoutyou]

I finished The Lioness.

I need some Joe x reader and Cruz x reader. Please, I'm begging you 😭

[mochidolls]

bot dump !

🆕 | @mochidolls just posted ( 3 m ago ) : first bot dump omg :D bobby brainrot has been strong this week, so expect more of her lmao.

🎀 — special ops: lioness

bobby : stitches / sunkissed / back to you / respect the wood

joe mcnamara : missin’ u / complications with the boss / hidden affection

cruz manuelos : dress shopping

🫧 — the bear

sydney adamu : breakfast

🧈 — euphoria

rue bennett : the l word

⭐️ — orange is the new black

nicky nichols : doctor! doctor!

[cloveroctobers]

PART iii.

Here you’ll find all works written during the final month of the year for 2023 🌲🗻🧣🛷

𝑀𝒶𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉…𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝓌𝒾𝒸𝑒?

ISAIAH HOWARD > Love More = Goosebumps (2023)

EVAN “BUCK” BUCKLEY > New Years Yet? = 911 on abc

MICHAEL “MIKEY” BERZATTO > Purple snowflakes = The Bear

NERON “CREEPER” VARGAS > Greatest Gift = Mayans MC

SETH CLEARWATER > Best Damn thing = Twilight (2008)

5 Days of X-MAS started: Dec. 11th 2023 — Dec. 31st 2023

FEBRUARY FLUFF! 2024 ♡

1. EVERGREEN > Carmy Berzatto = The Bear

2. SOLDIER OF LOVE > Manny x Happy Lowman = Mayans MC + SOA

3. I LOVE YOU > Juice Ortiz = Sons of Anarchy

4. LOVE IS BLIND > Matt Casey, Brian “Otis” Zvonecek, Kelly Severide, & Joe Cruz = Chicago Fire

*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

Part 4.

[samantha-chicago]

Who I Write For

These are all the characters I write for. Please keep this in mind when requesting anything.

All requests will be written in a female POV Many Thanks

Chicago P.D.

Adam Ruzek Jay Halstead Kevin Atwater Dante Torres Hailey Upton Kim Burgess Greg 'Mouse' Gerwtiz Hank Voight (Not Romantically)

Chicago Fire

Kelly Severide Joe Cruz Matthew Casey Blake Gallo Stella Kidd Randall 'Mouch' McHolland (Not Romantically) Sam Carver Brian 'Otis' Zvonecek Christopher Herrmann (Not Romantically) Wallace Boden (Not Romantically) Sylvie Brett Violet Mikami Leslie Shay

Chicago Med

Connor Rhodes William Halstead

911 Lone Star / 911

Evan Buckley Eddie Diaz TK Strand Carlos Reyes

S.W.A.T

Christina 'Chris' Alonso James 'Jim' Street Victor Tan Dominique Luca Daniel 'Hondo' Harroldson Decon 'Dec' Kay (Not Romantically)

[bullet-prooflove]

The Holiday Bingo Card is Complete!!!!

Here is what we have coming up!

26th Nov: Saint Michael - Frank Castle x Reader - Frank returns something important to you - BINGO SQUARE: GIFT EXCHANGE

1st Dec: Montana - Cowboy!Terry Bruno x Reader - Terry doesn't expect to receieve a holiday card from you. BINGO SQUARE: HOLIDAY CARDS

2nd Dec: Better - Bobby Goren x Reader - You're trapped in a car with a broken heater in the middle of winter. BINGO SQUARE: SHARING A SCARF

3rd Dec: Look After You - Johnny 'Coco' Cruz x Reader - Coco takes care of you when your struck down with a cold. BINGO SQUARE: COLD/FLU SEASON

8th Dec: Black Satin (NSFW) - Bishop Losa x Reader - Bishop finds a surprise when he's helping you with the holiday gifts. BINGO SQUARE: HOLIDAY SHOPPING

10th Dec: Home Alone (NSFW) - Priest!Joe x Reader - Joe doesn't expect a guest this Christmas. BINGO SQUARE: SPENDING CHRISTMAS ALONE

11th Dec: Candy Cane - Chibs x Reader - You turn out to be a distraction whilst gift wrapping. BINGO SQUARE: FLANNEL PJS

13th Dec: Heaven in Hiding - Mike Duarte x Reader - You find Mike hiding out during the holiday party. BINGO SQUARE: WORK HOLIDAY PARTY

15th Dec: End of the Line - Hank Loza x Reader - You and Hank make a realisation about your relationship. BINGO SQUARE: HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

16th Dec: Gingerbread - Bishop Losa x Reader - Bishop comforts you when you discover your limitations. BINGO SQUARE: BAKING

19th Dec: Snow - Bishop Losa x Reader - Bishop asks you a question that's been on his mind recently. BINGO SQUARE: PLAYING IN THE SNOW

20th Dec: The Fight Before Christmas - Sam Abrams x Reader - Sam and get into a fight after he discovers you've been keeping a secret from him. BINGO SQUARE: THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

23rd Dec: Traditions - Angel Reyes x Reader - Angel goes overboard on Valeria's first Christmas. BINGO SQUARE: DECORATIONS

24th Dec: Special Delivery - Tig Trager x Reader - Tig's babymoon doesn't go as planned. BINGO SQUARE: WINTER CABIN

26th Dec: Hot Chocolate - Alden Parker x Reader - Alden and you discuss what happened a few nights ago. BINGO SQUARE: FIRST SNOW

27th Dec: This is the Year - Juan 'Juice' Ortiz x Reader - Juice takes his new years resolution very seriously. BINGO SQUARE: RESOLUTION

28th Dec: LakeTahoe!Series Part One: Black Bear Lodge - Manny x Reader - You meet Manny in a lodge in Lake Tahoe. - Companion piece to End of the Line. BINGO SQUARE: SLEDDING

31st Dec: Fireworks - Taza Romero x OC: Ben Harrison - Taza discovers why Ben hates New Year's. BINGO SQUARE: NEW YEARS

2nd Jan: BlackIce!Series Part One: Black Ice - Frank Castle x Reader - Frank returns home after hearing about your accident. BINGO SQUARE: ICE

7th Jan: Mount Shasta (NSFW) - Taza Romero x OC: Ben Harrison - Ben surprises Taza with a trip away. BINGO SQUARE: BLIZZARD/SNOWED IN

[themultifandomgal]

Joe Cruz

Scared To Trust Again

[itwasrealtome]

NEW TAGLIST

Hello my loves,

I've prepared a new form for you to fill in to join the TagList. You'll find many more categories and sections that aren't yet in my MasterList, but will be shortly.

For those of you who are already registered in the taglist, I encourage you to take a look anyway. You could complete your previous selection.

Here’s the link !

•••

MCU

Law and Order : SVU

Rizzoli and Isles

Special Ops : Lioness

Grey’s Anatomy

Body of proof

Station 19

SWAT

WOSO

Sapphic Stories