#Jason Todd needs to go back to being a crime lord

[azuree1733]

Y’all know I had to draw my boy

[sanguineterrain]

Sanne can we get a part 2 for reporter!reader?? Picking up where it first left off their first night in the same home - and there's only 1 bed! - and reader shares the bed with him with the promise of not looking at his unmasked face in the middle of the night? And like them realizing over the next few days that they have very similar habits like tendencies to work throughout the night once they've got a lead and not having a set sleep schedule/unconventional sleeping hours.

OKAY HERE WE GO! be fed my lovelies <3 didn't exactly do one bed but hopefully you like it anyway ;) pt 2 of this

jason todd x gn!reporter!reader. nightmares, hurt/comfort, jason sexy mf todd being a domestic dreamboat. 2.4k. pls enjoy

****

The Red Hood's apartment is... not at all what you expected.

It looks lived in. It, as awful a thought as it is, looks like an actual person lives here.

And it's not that you didn't know that Hood has a life outside of shooting and scaring, but the giant ficus and the overstuffed bookshelf seem paradoxical to everything you know about Hood.

You're realizing that you don't know him at all.

"So, uh." Hood awkwardly gestures to the apartment. "This is it. Welcome."

"It's nice," you say, stepping over the threshold. "Really nice. I'm a little jealous, Red."

"What can I say? Being public enemy number one is surprisingly lucrative."

You wander to the kitchen. There's a picture of him and a red-headed masked man who looks vaguely familiar. The man is smiling, his arm around Hood. There's a city skyline behind them you don't recognize.

"Where's that?" you ask. You don't expect him to answer.

"Morocco."

"I didn't know you had friends," you say, studying the Welcome to Vegas! magnet that's holding up the picture.

"Ouch."

"No, I—" You turn, shaking your head. "Sorry, no. I meant, like, people you do fun things with."

"Mm, yeah, I know what a friend is."

"Red, you know what I mean. I didn't know you took selfies and kept plants and read."

"Thought I was friendless and illiterate, huh?" He leans against the kitchen table, fist tucked under his helmet. "Y'wouldn't be the first."

"Hood—"

He snorts, shoulders shaking. You stop.

"That's not funny," you say, rolling your eyes. "Jerk."

"It's a little funny. You're always so sharp with your words, smartypants. No, while I'm very literate, friends are admittedly far and few. Arsenal's my closest friend."

"Is he also a crime lord?"

"Nah. Way better guy than me."

You look back at the picture and wonder how often Hood gets to experience joy. And when was the last time he had a vacation?

You feel a gentle tug at the back of your jacket.

"C'mon. You can snoop more later, promise. Lemme show you your room."

Hood takes your suitcase before you can protest. You follow him down the hall. There's one door to the bathroom—the other is to a single bedroom.

The bedroom is nice, bigger than yours at home. It's sort of what you expected (i.e., the mounted katanas on the wall) but also not (a giant framed poster of the 2005 Pride and Prejudice film).

Holy hell. You're in the Red Hood's bedroom.

"Hood, I can't sleep here," you say, watching as he puts your suitcase in the corner.

The bed has been made, sheets tucked in without a single wrinkle. They're in various shades of red. You're sure Hood thinks he's hilarious.

"Why? If the swords are putting you off, I can move 'em."

"No, it's—I can't take your room, Hood. There's no way I'm doing that."

He shakes his head. "No, trust me, it's for the best. That couch is only comfortable to sleep on after a dose of painkillers."

"Dude, I am not making you sleep on the couch in your own house."

"Well, dude, I'm the host, and I'm the big and scary Red Hood, so what I say goes."

"Like either one of us actually believes that," you say, brushing past him to grab your suitcase. "I'm not kicking you out of your bed. It's–it's very sweet of you to offer. But you physically exert yourself every day. You need a comfortable bed more than I do. Besides, it's not like I'll be here for long."

Hood steps in front of you, casually blocking your exit.

"Well, try this on for size: my room is more secure than my living room," he says. "If someone were to break in, they'd have to get through me out there first."

That... is, unfortunately, a good point. You're still extremely paranoid after the assassination attempt two nights ago.

"You're so manipulative, y'know that?" you grumble, leaving your suitcase where it is.

"I know. I come from a real fucked up family." He doesn't sound too put out by it.

"But if you get injured on patrol, I'm sleeping on the couch."

He pats your shoulder. "'S cute you think you can bargain in my house, smarty."

****

Dinner goes well. Hood makes beef bolognese and it's delicious. You take an extra long time in the bathroom before bed so Hood has enough time to eat, considering his refusal to remove his helmet. You'd offered to blindfold yourself—he'd just laughed.

"Sure you don't want your room? It is, after all, yours," you say when you come out, fresh from your shower.

Hood glances at you briefly from where he's washing dishes. He's out of his jacket and suit, now only in jeans and a white t-shirt. Your face feels hot for some reason.

"I'm sure. Cute robe."

"Oh." You look down at the Wonder Woman robe your friend gave you. "Thanks. Got it for my birthday."

"I'll have to get myself one too," Hood says, drying a glass with a polka dot tea towel. "Big Wonder Woman fan."

"Yeah? We solve this case, and I'll get you all the robes you want, Red."

"Tempting."

You chew your lip as you watch him clean up. "Want any help?"

"Go to sleep, star reporter." He sounds amused.

"You try to be a polite guest only to get shot down..." you mumble.

On your way to Hood's room, you get distracted by a pile of documents on the coffee table. You stop, picking up the corner to read one. They're about the case, about all the labs that might be involved in the experiments.

Well... you can read just one. It seems like Hood's compiled a lot of information on his own.

You stand for a bit until your legs grow tired. Then you sit on the couch, making notes of what you do and don't know on a nearby writing pad.

"Did you get lost?"

Hood's watching you, leaning against the wall. It's weird to see his bare arms. His very sculpted, muscled arms. You think you peek a tattoo on his bicep.

"My attention was caught," you say, unrepentant. "Anyway, there's a lot of stuff I haven't seen. You've been holding out on me, Red."

"'S just theories, mostly. Didn't feel it was relevant to mention without hard proof."

"Ever hear of a work-life balance?" you ask.

Hood walks over and joins you on the couch, making the cushion dip. You bump shoulders briefly, before you move.

"Look who's talking, Pulitzer prize," he says.

"That's a very reasonable goal, and I'm not obsessed with it. You're just a workaholic. I have activities outside of wo—oh my God, work!"

You shoot up from the couch, panicked. "Fuck. Fuck! I haven't shown up in two days! I'm—"

"Hey, easy," Hood says, propping his socked feet up on the coffee table. "I called you out. Said you had the flu. No biggie."

"How did you call me out?"

He shrugs. "Pretended to be your boyfriend. Girl on the line was kinda rude about it. Didn't believe me at first."

"Red, I believe we've talked about these invasions of privacy."

"I'm just fulfilling my host duties. Is it true you haven't taken a day off in two years?"

You sigh. "Yes, okay? Fine. I'm a workaholic, too. That's why Jane, the secretary you spoke to, was so sassy about my having a boyfriend. It's pretty unbelievable."

"That's ridiculous. You could totally get a boyfriend. Some guys don't mind that."

"Like you?"

Hood tilts his head in acknowledgment. "Sure. Like me."

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly most men."

"And thank God for that."

You look at each other for another moment. Hood's tattoo is in clear view now: it's a bird surrounded by flowers. You can't tell the species of either one.

"Cool tattoo," you say, your tongue feeling too big for your mouth.

Hood turns his arm so the ink is hidden. "Thanks."

"Right." You start to walk backwards. "I think... I'm gonna go to bed."

"Sure," he says. "If y'need anything, holler."

"'Kay. Thank you for dinner. You're a great cook."

"You flatterer."

You smile. "Gotta stay in the Red Hood's good graces."

You start to walk away.

"Do you—waffles?"

You stop and turn. "Sorry?"

"I, uh... do you like waffles? For breakfast," he says. He rubs his thumb and forefinger together. Nervous habit.

"I love waffles for breakfast."

Hood nods. "Great. Good. Then I'll... we'll have those."

"Please don't wake up early just to make breakfast, Red."

"You're my guest. I'll do whatever I want."

You don't recall the prospect of waffles ever making your heart hammer in your chest. Weird.

"Right. Well, goodnight," you say.

"G'night, smarty."

****

You turn the case details in your mind over and over. It's better than thinking about beef bolognese and peeks of skin you shouldn't see and how Hood's sheets smell like lavender.

But you fall asleep thinking about robins. You don't know why. You can't recall ever seeing a robin in Gotham.

You're on a rooftop. It's the roof you met Hood on, all those months ago. There's a robin nesting with its babies on the crumbling bricks.

The sky is a sick shade of green. You see horrible faces in the shadows on the roof.

That face from the night of the attack returns. He's hideous. You remember the stench of his breath, the way his eyes bulged. He grins at you across the roof.

"He should've killed me when he had the chance," he says, voice distorted.

You look around. The robin is gone. Blood drips from your stomach.

You turn and your attacker is there, inches away. He plunges the knife into you again and again. You can't move. This is it. You will die.

You wake up to wet cheeks. You're hot, and you're screaming. You've died.

A cool, rough hand grabs your arm and you fight because you can't die, you won't die. Not today.

"Hey. Hey, hey! It's me, 's J—Hood. It's Hood."

The room is almost entirely dark, save for a sliver of light from the cracked curtains. You can't make out his face. His voice is different. Clearer. He's without his helmet.

You reach out and feel soft hair. The curve of a neck. A bicep. A warm, bare chest.

"Sure, honey. Cop a feel if that makes you feel better," he murmurs.

Your face screws up and you start to cry.

"Shit," Hood whispers. "Shit, shit. Can't get the comforting thing right, can I?"

The bed dips with his weight. Arms wrap around you. You launch yourself into those arms, that solid chest.

"He g-got me in the dream," you choke out. "He killed us, Red. I'm so scared."

"Nobody's getting me or you. I promise."

Hood's jaw is smooth. His hands are big on your back, rubbing circles. His bare knee bumps yours.

You clutch him tighter. He hums.

"'S okay," he says. "It's alright. I got ya. He can't hurt you. I'd tear apart anyone who tries."

He lets you cry for several minutes, petting you all the while. Hood's body is warm, almost unnaturally so, but his hands are cool. He engulfs you completely.

You wonder what color his hair is. His eyes. What shape his nose is. His... lips.

"God, I'm a terrible guest," you mumble after you've caught your breath. "Fuck. I'm so sorry to wake you."

He hums, the sound going through your chest. "Don't worry. I don't sleep much. And you're not the worst guest I've had. My brother stayed with me for a few days last month. That was hell."

"You have a brother?"

"Four, actually. And a sister."

"Wow. Do they know you're...?"

"Yeah. It was a whole thing. They're over it now."

"Cool family."

Hood grunts. "They're... something."

You smile and close your eyes. "You're not who I thought you were, Red."

"Yes, I know. Friendless and illiterate."

You pinch his side. He clucks his tongue in response.

"Cheeky," he says, the gravel in his voice shooting down your spine like lightning.

You pull back, suddenly aware of how long you've been touching him. Hood lets you have your space, scooting to the edge of the bed.

"You know what I mean," you say, glad it's dark and Hood can't see your wide eyes. "Not like that."

"I know. You thought I was a monster, ugly and alone, sleeping in a cave."

Blindly, you reach for his face, feel the shape of his jaw, his chin.

"Doesn't feel like an ugly face to me," you say quietly.

He exhales like you punched the air out of him.

"Trust me," he says. "The dark hides a lot."

You frown and pull away. "I didn't think any of those things, Red. I thought... I thought you were one-track minded. Now I realize that you're probably better adjusted than I am."

"Oh no, I got issues. Believe me. Definitely more than you. Not that it's a competition. 'Cept if it was, I'd win."

You smile. "Title is all yours, big guy. Gotta be a little crazy to do what we do."

"Sure. But you're the bravest soul I know. 'Cause you weren't forced into this. You hunted down the story yourself."

"Brave or stupid?" you ask.

"Brave. But it's a fine line."

Nope. It's definitely more stupid than not, clinging to the Red Hood in his own bed in the name of a case.

What are you doing?

"Ah, anyway." The bed shifts as Hood stands. You can just barely make out the shape of him. "You probably won't be going back to sleep any time soon, huh?"

You sigh. "No, probably not. Please feel free to take back your bed."

"Nice try. You, uh... like hot chocolate?"

"Oh. Yes, I do. But you don't have to do that."

"I've been awake," he says. "No trouble. C'mon."

Hood walks to the door and opens it. Light spills out and for a moment, you have a clear view of his back.

His hair is dark and wavy. His back is covered in silver scars and fresh bruises, broad and muscled. You can see the tendons shift as he walks out.

The Red Hood is a man. Made of flesh and blood. Carved, more like.

Your belly flutters. Fuck.

This is no longer just you working a case. And you're about as far from an informant as anyone can be.

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Me, after doing 15 minutes of excessive googling on every Batfam member's birthday only to then realize I've accidentally missed the majority of them this year, and then also finding out that people are still aggressively debating over whether Bruce's birthday is April 7 or February 19, Dick's birthday happens 3-6x throughout the year, and Stephanie might have just popped into existence for all that DC cares:

Batfam birthday dates btw for anyone who needs them are listed beneath the cut:

DISCLAIMER: DC is notorious for being super inconsistent with everything and I am a mere tadpole caught in the tidal wave of DC's ocean. This post will be regularly updated with edits and corrections so please do not use it as word of law, I am begging you.

Update (8/24/23): To keep things more simple and easier for everyone I am going to start categorizing the birth dates I've collected into 3 categories.

-Most popular: Self-explanatory. These are the birth dates that have been canonized and confirmed by DC and are also more wildly celebrated by the fandom. Typically, this should be the first result you see when you google the character's birthday. But not always because DC sucks ass.

-Other date(s): These are the additional birth dates I come across that have been canonized in some form with multiple sources, but are not as wildly celebrated or popularized by DC and/or the fandom. Why am I including them here? Mostly because I don't want people coming in saying I forgot a date. But also because if I have to see this mess, then y'all have too as well.

-Potential but unconfirmed date(s): This is where I will put all the other additional dates I find, but specifically those that are lacking in complete sources or seem to be highly debated and scrutinized.

Also fun emoji ranking guide for me and me alone:

👑👑: Queen Shit. Characters with a consistent and simple birth date(s). Can absolutely do no wrong.

👑😮‍💨: In the Running. Characters who don't have a set birth date, but the mess is minor and completely DC's fault. They shouldn't have to be punished for DC's crimes.

🤡🤡: Gtfo. Shit is so inconsistent and stupidly messy that it's making me lose my shit. I'm putting DC and the characters on trial for this bullshit.

👑Alfred Pennyworth👑

Most popular: August 16

Other date(s): April 8 and March 31

(I think it'd be hella cute if Jason and Alfred shared a bday. But if you keep scrolling through the rest of the list, you'll see that August is kind of an overcrowded bday month for the Batfam.

Depending on what you prefer, though, I still think Alfred's worth being celebrated. Lord knows he deserves a special day for himself)

(Update ((8/24/23)): No big inconsistencies between these dates. I just thought it would be fun to provide some info on why Alfred has two canonical birthdates.

So the reason August 16 is viewed as the most popular is for two main reasons. One, obviously, is that he shares a birth date with Jason Todd. So many fans latch onto this date because of how sweet it is for them to share a birthday together.

The second reason has to do with the origin of the birth date. This is because of the more recent retcon that was made by the prequel comic to the Injustice: Gods Among Us video game that was published in 2013. There is a panel in the comic that shows Alfred's birth certificate in full detail from his full name, his place of birth, etc.

As for April 8, this specific date technically has more history compared to August 16. Fans will cite that April 8 was the official date selected by DC according to their Super DC Calendar back in 1976 (which btw was made in 1975).

Compared to August 16 and April 8, however, March 31 oddly enough isn't that popular or recognized by DC or the majority of the fandom. The reason March 31 does come up is because March 31, 1943 was the date when Alfred made his first appearance in the comics, one day after Bruce/Batman)

🤡Bruce Wayne🤡: Hey. Hey, DC, look at me. Bitch.

Most popular: February 19 or April 7

Other date(s): April 25, May 27, March 30, "October," October 7, and "November"

(It looks like most people go with February 19, but don't come at me if you're a April 7 truther. I'm just existing)

(Update ((8/20/23)): I'm gonna shoot somebody. So after doing a little bit more research, I came across-you'd never guess it-even more conflicting info on when Bruce's birthday is supposed to take place.

While April 7 and February 19 are still popular days for fans to celebrate Batman's bday, March 30 is also considered a popular date due to March 30, 1939 being the day Detective Comics #27 ((the issue Batman debuted in)) was put on shelves.

HOWEVER, even Batman's debut is contested to actually be May 27, 1939 because despite the fact that Detective Comics #27 first appeared to the public on March 30, 1939, the cover issue depicted May 27, 1939 instead.

This is because it was a popular practice for comics publication houses to falsify their cover dates as a way to give the impression that the latest issue was newer than it actually was. So if you really, really wanna get super fucking technical about it ((and I know there are some of you out there who do)), Batman may have debuted on March 30, but the cover-issue date was May 27 so, yes, I guess Bruce could have been a May baby instead.

I hate it here.

Oh, and to make matters more complicated, let's discuss the issue of April 7 vs April 25. So the reason April 7 is a popular bday for Bruce is because the original 1930-40s run just outright stated that April 7 was his birthday. Simple enough.

So what does April 25 have to do with this? Well, that's because technically-I think I hate that word now btw-Batman didn't get his own solo comic until April 25, 1940. If you want to go by April 25 because of this logic, however, that means that you'd have to share Bruce's birthday with the Joker. Because guess what? That's also the exact date that the Joker debuted.

I'm personally not a huge fan of Bruce and the Joker sharing a bday. Mostly just because the dates are clearly already complicated enough. But also I feel like April 25 is just known as the Joker's bday at this point, at least in the DC fandom. And Bruce has so many options at this point that it'd be kinda silly to make them share a bday.

As for the "sometime in October" and "sometime in November" additions, we have Batman The Animated Series and Frank Miller's "Batman: Year One" to thank for those extremely vague options.

BTAS Bruce states that his birthday is "sometime in October" and "Batman: Year One" Bruce is responsible for "sometime in November." I repeat: I hate it here.

So when is Bruce's actual birthday? Well, the latest change that DC has "officially" made was the February 19 retcon during the 1970-80s. When a fan sent a question into Detective Comics about Bruce's birthday, the answer given was "February 19" in the letter column. Issue #494, to be exact.

And the reason this answer was given? Because the Super DC Calender for 1976 (again made in 1975) said so.

However, there are still people who prefer to celebrate his bday on April 7 or March 30 instead. And there's also a question floating around if the New 52 run could potentially retcon Bruce's bday AGAIN at some point in the future.

I. Hate. It. Here.

Personally, I liked February 19 because then Alfred could maybe have the month of April to himself. But after seeing all this new info, I'm just sort of resigned to whichever date that the fandom prefers. Y'all can decide. I don't have any energy left.

Also, I can't believe I have to accuse Bruce of having possibly taught Dick his bday scam. Just .... wow).

(Update ((8/24/23)): Well, DC did it to me again. I found this extra little tidbit while googling the Super DC Calendar for Alfred, actually.

So Issue #10 of the 2021 Legends of the Dark Knight decided to give the BTAS's "sometime in October" an actual sometime.

How do I feel about yet another Bruce Wayne bday retcon? Honestly, I think I'm moving closer and closer to just a bland state of acceptance at this point. Tbh, I don't think all these retcons actually matter that much in the end. DC is gonna keep being DC.

Which is annoying. But Idk I'm personally gonna stick with February 19. No shade to you if you prefer any of the other dates. I just like February 19 more than the others)

👑Kate Kane👑

Most popular: March 21

Other date(s): January 26

(So ... where to start to with this one?

Well the official DC canon birth date for Kate Kane is listed as March 21. That being said, if you were to google Kate's birthday right now, you might be confused because that's not the first result that comes up.

Instead, you'll be greeted with January 26, 1990.

So what gives? If there's already an official DC approved birth date, then why the fuck is January 26 coming up all of a sudden?

Well, folks, you have the CW's Batwoman to thank.

Tbh I was very confused as to how I completely missed that there was an entire Batwoman TV show in the first place.

Apparently the show is considered a part of the CW Arrowverse (in reference to the CW show Arrow featuring Oliver Queen, for those of you who need extra info) and ran for 3 whole seasons before being cancelled on April 9, 2022.

And they gave us actual canon lesbian Kate Kane rep. I mean, she is a lesbian. But yeah. CW actually acknowledged her sexual orientation. So kudos for doing the bare minimum?????

Anyway, I guess the showrunners just decided they wanted Kate's birthday to be on January 26 instead of March 21??? Idk if this was supposed to be a reference or an homage to Cassandra Cain's birthday. I doubt it, but who knows?)

🤡Dick Grayson🤡: Greedy bitch who keeps lying about his birthday so he can scam people into giving him more presents jk jk

Most popular: "On the first day of spring" (bruh) or March 20/21

Other date(s): March 6, "April," October 24 (aka "the week before Halloween"), November 11 and December 1

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): June 24

(Dick's canon bday seems to be influx. March 6, March 20, March 21, November 11, June 24, December 1, and so on. I did see multiple sources state Dick was born "on the first day of spring." I'm unclear atm about whether this is a fanon take or if it was actually stated in a particular comic at some point.

As far as I'm concerned, Dick just keeps lying about his birthday for the lols)

(Update ((8/24/23)): Well, guess what I found, folks?

It's a return visit from our favorite friend, the Super DC Calendar of 1976. And according to it, Dick's birthday should be November 11.

You can also thank the Young Justice comic for the confusion surrounding Dick's bday being on December 1.

Also, I found this post by @theflyingwonder that helps clear up a LOT of the mess surrounding Dick's ever changing birth date. Honestly, amazing work and extra kudos to them for putting all the work in and finding all the sources. I just wished I had found their post earlier, holy shit.

And if you have some extra time, please give some love to @inkydandy for their hilarious and very sweet comic about all the confusion that comes with Dick's bday)

(Update ((8/25/23)): Many thanks to @poisoned-ivy for clearing up even more of the mess surrounding Dick's bday. I went ahead and took a screenshot of their response to my old "Which date is Dick's canon bday?" poll.

They also provided a link to the DC Universe Calendar which was lovingly compiled from the original 1976 Super DC Calendar and then put together by the people who run the Five Earths Project .

Also found out from them today that October 24 is one of Dick's bdays ((at least for Post-Crisis Dick Grayson)). So that was a fun new discovery!

They were also very helpful in helping me realize that the original article I had found that stated "sometime in April" was actually in reference to Dick Grayson's first appearance in the comics, which was April 1940.

So, yes, "sometime in April" is technically--again I hate this word so much now--still a valid candidate for Dick's bday. And before you ask: Detective Comics #38 was actually published on March 6, 1940.

Hence why people will cite March 6 as Dick's canon bday instead.

This project got a lot bigger than I ever expected it to ... god)

👑Barbara Gordon👑: September 23

👑Jason Todd👑: August 16

👑Cassandra Cain👑: January 26

👑Tim Drake👑: July 19

👑Stephanie Brown😮‍💨: She emerged from the void with the sole purpose of dragging Bruce's ass to hell and back. Nothing can stop her. We all exist in her world now.

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): June 23, "August," or August 11

(For real, though, some peeps will say June 23 since the month she officially debuted in the comics was June 1992.

But I've also seen August 1992 listed as her bday month as well--lot of August babies in the Batfam, huh--but I haven't found June 23 specifically listed as her canon bday, either. It honestly feels like the fans are putting in more work than DC at this point. Which, like, I'm not surprised. Just disappointed)

(Update ((8/24/23)): Someone mentioned August 11 as a potential birth date, but I have yet to see an actual source that specifically states this. If I do find one, I'll edit this section. Figured I should put it here just in case, though)

👑Duke Thomas👑: August 13

👑Damian Wayne👑: August 9

👑Terry McGinnis😮‍💨

Most popular: August 18

Other date(s): June 27 or August 10

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): September 19 (fml)

(Yes, I'm including Terry, fuck you lol

Also SERIOUSLY WTF is up with so many of these August birthdays!!!! Fuck, was everyone just getting crazy BUSY in November!!!! What's going on in the DC universe that is making November of all months the HORNY MONTH????!!!!)

(Mini update ((8/18/23)): Well, I just found out that apparently June 27th 2023 is also a highly debated birth date for Terry. As is August 10 2023/2024 and August 18 2023/2024. I even saw a mention of September 19 2023, but I don't know how credible that source actually is. I'm just putting it here because I'm losing my mind and I don't want someone to pop in and say I forgot it omfg I'm dying

I'm just ... why? Why is it so hard to just commit to one month and one date. I'm not even concerned about the exact year. Just commit to ONE, man.

Excuse me while I march over to DC HQ and burn the whole place to the ground iswtfg)

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on any of these. I have a massive headache now and am open to any suggestions or clarifications y'all have to offer.

Also, I'm going to fist fight Dick in a Denny's parking lot.

Update (8/17/23): So a mini post that I meant to use as a way to vent how insane Dick was making me somehow blew up way more than I ever expected it to, and now I feel obligated to clarify again that I am open to any corrections and additional info that anyone has to offer.

I'm saying this because I've noticed people reblogging this post for actual Batfam bday references and someone already pointed out I fucked up Tim's bday and now I feel bad for everyone who reblogged this post prior to that edit.

It's probably just the anxiety talking, but yeah I just wanted to put that out there.

Also justice for Stephanie Brown! She deserves to have her own special day and if I have to bully DC into giving her a canon birthday, then you bet your ass I fucking will.

(And to all of y'all who are encouraging Dick to keep running his side scam business, I just have this to say: There's an empty Denny's parking lot somewhere out there just waiting for you, too lol)

[ghost-bxrd]

Saw the Phoenix!Jason possibility mentioned... Thought of a more hilarious/traumatizing version.

Phoenix Tim. Dick's Baby Bird.

As in, if he dies, he'll just come back to life in a few minutes, all former injuries healed.

Tim being Tim, he's gonna use the resurrection ability to skip having to stay in bed and recuperate, giving the Batfam multiple panic attacks.

They are still trying to talk him out of it when Hood turns up...

The Titans Tower attack happens.

As in canon, Tim loses the initial round and flee to another room, injured.

Well. His hand is broken, he can't fight a crime lord with a broken arm. Plus, come on, that's gonna be a major hazzle, Dick and Bruce will fuzz over him for a month!

He knows how to fix this, right?

Jason, following him in dramatic slow motion, is just in time to see Tim shoot/stab himself dead.

The revival takes a few minutes... And Jason has absolutely no idea about the Phoenix Part.

Fun times : )

G A S P

Counter offer, they’re both phoenixes but none of them knew that about Jason because he was always terrified of dying! (No clue how the Ethiopia part works but hear me out on further angst first!)

and when he comes back to confront Tim he obviously doesn’t know just how good he was replaced.

And then Tim stabs himself and Jason just blanks, all his rage forgotten because he just wanted to beat the kid up a little. He never wanted him to die.

So we have Jason frantically trying to staunch the blood flow, trying and failing to shift enough to grab even a single feather that might save the kid (*gestures because phoenix magic*), asking Tim again and again “Why would you do that!?” without waiting for an answer because the kid is bleeding out.

And Tim is just so confused because… isn’t this what Hood wanted? Why is he panicking? And also, shit, he should have stabbed somewhere else because this hurts like a bitch.

And then Jason can’t breathe because he thinks he’s the cause a teenager felt scared enough to commit suicide rather than face him, and he can’t get the bleeding to stop, and being a phoenix is useless if he can’t even shift to save him. But- but he can give the kid some comfort in his last moments. He can do that much.

And Tim totally thinks his brain is going bye-bye when Hood takes off the helmet and it’s Jason Todd cradling and crying over him, apologizing over and over and— oh no, ohhhh no, Tim screwed up big time. This is bad. He needs to let Jason know it will be okay. That Tim will be okay. That it was a mistake!

But Jason isn’t listening and Tim is doomed to die for a couple minutes and good gods does he hope Jason will stick around until he wakes back up because if Tim gets this one chance to give the Batfam their happy ending only to have it slip through his fingers because he chose to ignore Batman’s “Do NOT kill yourself over every minor inconvenience!”, he’s going to… he doesn’t even know.

Please, gods, please let Jason stick around…

(Honestly this works even without Jason being a phoenix but look I’m attached to the image of Jason deliberately walking into explosions after the whole Ethiopia thing and making everyone have several hundred flashbacks)

[agent-sushi-fbi]

NEW POST ON AO3!!

This was a prompt by @kittyfrisk9 from last year that we traded back and forth. I finally got around to finishing editing it and posting! I hope you enjoy!!

Something that Danny never thought he would be agreeing with in his afterlife? Jazz’s trashy romance books that she thought she could hide behind psychology textbooks in high school. They all seemed to have the same message that he didn’t realize was more than trying to reel in single moms at the checkout counter.

Love is complicated.

How did he know? Because Danny had inevitably fallen for his handsome and cool neighbor: Jason Todd. The problem though? His neighbor was dating the equally handsome (rumored at least, since he never takes the helmet off) and badass vigilante: Red Hood.

His heart had broken instantly upon hearing the news. Dramatic response, he knew, but he was dead so he figured he could get away with it. So, to get over his now dramatically broken heart, Danny decides to drink his sorrows away with the millennium-year-old wine that Princess Dorathea had sent him recently.

Unfortunately, he drank too much of it (he was so used to the light buzz of human stuff that he wasn’t prepared) and apparently ghostly alcohol is capable of what human made alcohol isn’t. Actually getting him drunk off his ass.

That’s how a drunken Danny somehow found himself on top of the apartment complex’s roof late at night, finding Red Hood most likely at the end of his patrol. The man himself, Danny’s love rival. His eyes narrowed as the vigilante noticed Danny, freezing like a kid with their hand caught in the proverbial cookie jar. He watched Red Hood stand up straight, arms crossed as he put on an air of intimidation. Observing him up close, it was even worse than he feared, Danny couldn’t even object to Jason’s decision to date the infamous anti-hero. Comparing the two of them, Red Hood is Red Hood and bigger than life–whereas Danny was just…Danny, the scrawny weirdo down the hall.

Oh…

Danny felt the tears building as a pressure flooded his chest. Upset, all he could do was try to hold back the waterworks in front of the other man. Was he doing it? Numbly, Danny reached up a hand to his face and felt his wet cheeks. Oh, Ancients damnit, now he’s crying in front of the crime lord.

The vigilante seemed to panic at his tears, the man's cool intimidation all but forgotten. He tried to calm Danny down by saying whatever nice and nonsensical things tumbled out of his mouth, but it just ended up making Danny cry harder without meaning to.

Jason, on the other hand, officially hated himself for being unable to do anything at the sight of tears before him. How did he manage to make his pretty and tender-hearted neighbor cry?

Suddenly, a drunk Danny screams out, “It’s all your fault!” His tears were finally slowing down, but he was sniffling so loudly it broke Jason’s heart to hear. But once Red Hood processed what Danny said, he froze. What exactly was his fault in this situation?

Danny continues, not paying any mind to the statue of Red Hood standing before him. “Y-you…he loves you! Silly, silly…why did he have to like you ? I love him more!” Danny continues to sniffle, readily ugly crying and not caring how pathetic he looked in front of the Red Hood.

Oh, that’s the problem. Jason feels his body go very still, his mind racing as the other man cries helplessly. His Danny is in love with some fucking bastard that isn’t him, and said fucking bastard is apparently in love with ‘Red Hood’. Which left Jason feeling like a truck ran him over and spun his heart under the wheels.

He absolutely, one-hundred-percent, does not and would not share feelings for anyone else, especially if Danny was crying for said “in love with a crime lord” bastard. He isn't even worth Danny’s tears . Jason briefly lets the thought linger on if it would be right to punch the guy Danny likes in the face. He needs a new punching bag anyway, this douche could be a nice replacement.

Danny’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts, focusing on the man’s ruddy face again, a prominent pout at being ignored making Jason’s heart flutter. God, what was it about this guy that tugged at his heart so much?

Danny stomped his foot, annoyed and drunkenly thinking the vigilante had silently dismissed the conversation. “Jason loves you ,” he felt his lower lip wobble. “You should say those words to him because I can’t! He deserves to know he’s loved!” Danny shook his head at Hood, swaying slightly. Excuse me, what did you just say? “Silly Hood, you’re so lucky, did you know…?”

Jason gaped in shock as Danny’s voice trailed off, the latter obviously losing some of his fire from before as the alcohol started making him tired. But hold on a second, by “Jason” did Danny mean him ? Jason Todd?

“Yes!” Oh, he seemed to have asked the name out loud, because his pretty neighbor responded with a broken voice.

Ha. Fuck.

Jason feels his brain short circuit. He just cannot process this. So, the reason why his neighbor never paid any attention to his flirting wasn’t because he was disinterested in him? It was because Danny thought that he already had a partner and probably thought he was just being friendly? That he (Jason) was dating himself (Red Hood). Oh god, Danny was such a lovable idiot.

Jason knew he should have stopped those rumors from spreading right from the start, that way this misunderstanding wouldn’t have wreaked havoc on his love life. On the other hand, seeing his adorable neighbor looking like a disheveled drunk, declaring his feelings for him made Jason’s heart melt a little bit.

“Do you think that I am dating…Jason Todd?” His voice is serious, but still shocked from this revelation, though it’s probably not noticeable through his mask’s voice modulator.

Danny nods solemnly from a few feet away, lips still twisted in a pout. Jason smirks even though Danny can’t see it and tells him, “It’s just a rumor.”

He’s amused by the way Danny’s head snaps up and surprise fills his bright blue eyes. He’s so adorable while drunk that Jason isn’t sure how he would be coping without a mask covering his expressions. “Just like you, I already have someone I like. But I can promise, it’s not Jason Todd.”

He swore he could see sparkles in the man’s eyes. “So you’re absolutely not dating Jason?” Oh boy. “I can go out with him? I can tell him how much I like him?”

Jason laughs internally, “You should do it, see how it goes.” While he returns to his safe house quickly, after all, it seems he will soon be receiving a very important declaration of love.

This was the best day of his life, goddamn.

Unfortunately, his confession won’t be coming tonight because immediately after he received his ‘go ahead’, Danny trips over his feet and falls to the ground. Harder than expected apparently, since when Jason hurried over to check on him he was delirious and close to passing out. Though, that might have been more the alcohol than anything else.

Jason sighs, resigned to the fact that he’ll have to wait until Danny is sobered up tomorrow. Granted, that's even if he remembers any of this conversation after all. Oh fuck, Jason hoped he remembers otherwise they’ll be back to square one.

Picking up his (now) cute boyfriend, he carefully places the man on his back so his long arms drape over Jason’s shoulders and he had to hold onto Danny’s butt to keep him in place (not that he’s complaining). They were almost to the access to the stairwell when he heard Danny murmuring, so he slowed his steps to keep his heavy boots from drowning out what Danny was saying.

“Jason…marry me please…”

Jason choked. He cleared his throat a couple of times and shifted Danny around a little. He felt the other man’s hot breath and lips on his neck, but focused on safely getting them down the stairs instead.

Projecting a little confidence into his voice, Jason responded, “Haha, how about you ask me on a date first?” He knew there would be no answer, his boyfriend was already in the world of his dreams but he had to get the last word in.

He absolutely will never let Danny ever forget this moment.

[igotanidea]

Voices: Jason Todd x reader

Dreaming was good.

Dreaming was nothing less of a perfect when she could feel his warm body next to her. The strong, protective embrace of his arms wrapped around her.

Or even if they got into a fight and were angry at each other - it was calming knowing that Jason was right beside, just a touch away. Even if he flinched and scoffed at the gentle move of her fingers on his back or shoulders. sooner or later he always relented and they worked through whatever shit was going on.

Together.

But dreaming was not always good.

Not when she woke up in the middle of the night, brutally torn from the very vivid and very real nightmare of Jason's dead, lifeless body in her arms. His blood on her hands and face. His empty, cold eyes. His emotionless face.

NO!!

The jolt was so sudden that even her cat, sleeping peacefully in the foot of the bed run away form her, leaving poor girl completly alone.

alone.

Going to bed alone. Every night.

Waking up alone. Every morning.

Deprived of his touch, his kisses, his love and affection.

Any affection.

And maybe she was acting like a whiny baby, but she needed him with her. Not out there. Not fighting crime lords or whatever villain might have shown his face at Gotham.

3 am....

Please come back home....

4 am,

5 am.....

Was he injured? Was he bleeding, hurt, scared? Maybe he took off running? Maybe he got back together with one of his exes? Artemis? Kori? Rose?

Maybe she wasn;t good enough for him? Maybe he realised he actually wanted some badass vigilante chick with toned muscles, sharp tongue, fiery attitude? Maybe he wanted someone hot?

She wasn't hot.

She was a wimp, shuddering in the cold, empy bed desperately craving her boyfriend presence. Be it bruised or in bad mood, but please --

Please come home.

I'll be better, I'll do better, I'll improve.

I'll be what you want me to be, just please don't leave me.

So far from what a modern woman should be, right? Codependent, fragile, weak, vulnerable, pathetic.

Or maybe just in love with a vigilante.

How did it happen that she got from worrying about him to questioning her whole lonely exsistence in 10 minutes?

He doesn;t want you.

You're ugly.

You're fat.

You're unnatractive.

You really thought he would stay with you? did you already imagine the real-life play-pretend with him? White dress? Picket white fence? Familiy?

You stupid little girl.

He doesn;t want you, he never wanted you, he won't ever want you.

"SHUT UP!!!" she cried out in frustration, tears rolling down her face as her demons started to prey on her like on a Goya painting "Shut up! shut up! shut up!" she shook violently.

"Are you talking to me now?" a familiar voice and the sound of discarded red helmet echoed in her head "Damn Y/N! If there's anything you learned during those years it's definitely developing a good hearing-- Baby?" Jason became alarmed the second he took in her state. "Baby? Y/N? What happened? WHO HURT YOU?!"

It was impossible for Jason to keep his cool when he saw her crying. The first thought popping into his head being someone did something to her. Someone caused this. And the fact that it was 5 a.m. and most people were sleeping and that there was no one but them in their apartment slipped his mind, clouded by the incoming wave of rage

"Give me the name baby.' he took a few step forwards, kneeling on the floor next to bed and cupping her chin forcing her eyes on him "tell me who did this to you."

"You did!" she sobbed

"I--" holy fuck! In his blinding fury and the sudden need for revenge he didn't realise she could be sheding those crocodlie tears because of him.

"Why are you leaving me?" she sobbed

"Why am I --?" Y/N was not making any sense right now "I'm not--"

"Liar!" the girl yelled with surprising strength given her fragile state "You think she's hot, don't you?"

"Who?"

"Your ex!"

"My ex? Y/N, princess, why don't you calm down and--"

"I AM COMPLETLY CALM!" now Jason was almost sure that the neighbours were already up, ready to impale them both on pitchforks and uncovering his secret identity.

"Ok, ok, baby..." he raised his hands in surrender, observing her every move and slightest change in face expression.

This was new. This was something he wasn;t entirely sure of how to proceed with. Out of all the opponents he had to fight never in his mind would he thought that his girlfiriend would be the most challenging.

Was this an attack of hysteria? A panic attack? An anxiety fit?

Jason was way too familiar with all that.

What if it was him? What would she do if he woke up in the middle of the night, jittery for no particular reason? What could possibly be helpful?

And then it dawned on him.

And it all happened at once.

Bed dipping, his weight on her, his hands on her body, his breath on her face and the all-encompasing smell of blood, gunpowder and cigatettes.

Soft caress of her hair.

Gentle peck on her nose.

Developing too fast to give her any time to object, not that she wanted to.

"I got you." he whispered pulling her closer to his chest, not caring about the bruise that was already forming on his right side and that cut on his forearm. She was more important now. "I got you, baby, I got you..." he kissd her forehead warming and calming her by the mass of muscles and bythe rapid but steady beating of his heart.

she was still shaking but the firm yet gentle grip on her refused to let go untill it all subsided. Steading her, anchoring her in reality. Helping her realise that whatever her traitorous mind suggested had nothing to do with actuallity. Even if it took days, weeks, years, Jason was not going to move, keeping her pinned to his chest until being full certain she was back to him, having her full attention.

"Do you think I'm ugly....?" she muttered causing him to laugh, the movement of his body causing vibrations.

"I think you should get some proper rest. Otherwise the next thing you're going to ask me is going to be that "if i was a worm..." question."

"Bbut if I was a worm would you--?"

"Hush, woman!" he cut her off with the cheesiest smile "I had a rough night and need to sleep. Which means you are stuck with me for as long as I please."

"are you--?"

"I said, hush woman." he tightened the hold on her, preventing her from squirming and moving too far. "you're my body pillow now, accept your fate."

"are you hurt?" she whispered

"I'm perfect." he whispered back, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Making all the hateful voices in her head shut up. Bringing in the silence and peace.

But the talk he was going to give her in the morning would be a capital letter one.

Ugly.

Huh. She had no idea what measures he was going to resort to proving her wrong...

[theodorecanaryhood]

Dangerous Villain

Jason Todd x Male reader

Yes, yet another JT x Male reader fic, I can’t get enough of these

Warning: swearing, unprotected rough sex, mentions of blood and death

The blood stains were a struggle to wash out of his white shirt, Jason sat with a smile as the blood was splattered on his face.

Knuckles raw and red, body aching from the fight, the blood from his enemies covered him. Jason ripped his blood soaked shirt from his body. Throwing it into the fireplace.

His knife was covered in blood, his gun was empty as it had been used to its limits tonight.

Jason showed up to the smuggling ring undercover as a Crime Lord, only to take everyone out in seconds.

The smuggling ring was children and Jason saw red, black in his eyes as he killed all the men. Red Hood was retired tonight as Jason took over as himself.

Knowing a risk of being spotted, he left no one alive. He made sure of it.

The black shirt and pants pressed against Jason’s form, as he attended the gala, a recent one that Bruce was organising for Wayne Enterprises. Jason only went for the free drinks, not being in great speaking terms with his father.

You were sat next to Jason as he held your hand, your smaller form sat neatly on the chair as Jason held you in place. Pride on Jason’s face to call you his, and only his.

Jason is a jealous type and you were fully aware, Jason liked his boyfriend to know his place. To know that you are Jason’s, no one is allowed to look at you. Not the way Jason does.

Jason isn’t violent towards you, he would never. But he is dangerous, dark, and can switch sides if provoked.

You know better than to question Jason’s authority, he is your master.

So many times Jason has walked into your shared bedroom and demanded you take him in, Jason has had a rough night of patrol, or even just horny.

Tonight is no exception as you sat in a suit, shirt not done all the way up so Jason can glance at your chest every so often.

Jason had lust in his eyes as he took in your form, seeing that an older man was looking at you. Jason gave him a death stare.

You sat by the bar as the older, well dressed, rich snobby type man came over to you. A chance he’d sought after once you were alone.

‘Can I buy you a drink?’ The older man asked, you being a polite man, simply smiled.

‘No thank you, sir’ you replied, taking your attention back to your drink.

‘I’m Matthew, Lord Matthew. I own half of Metropolis Estate, along with 15% of Gotham, hopefully after tonight’ he bragged, you nodded.

‘Congratulations, you must be proud’ you responded, politely but not being too open to a conversation.

‘I noticed you earlier, you’re friends with Mr Wayne?’ The man asked, you nodded again.

‘Yeah, I’m dating his son’

‘Well, if you ever want an older man, more experience and money. Here’s my number’ the older man said, handing his number to you on a business card.

Jason appeared and took the card out of the man’s hand.

‘Thanks, but he has everything he needs already. My dick being one of them, which still works unlike yours’ Jason snarked.

The older man took offence as he snatched his card back.

‘I only give these to people that deserve my attention, which you do not, young man’ The older man barked back.

Jason’s fist clenched as he tried hard not to punch him in the face. Jason promised you he would behave tonight, but this man was trying his luck.

‘Y/n, go wait in the car’ Jason said as he took out his keys, handing them to you.

Jason didn’t take his eyes off of this man, black in his eyes again as the older man smiled smugly.

‘He has a nice ass’ the older man said as he spanked you, you shot your head around.

Before you could register anything the man had tumbled into a stack of glasses, holding his nose that was now bloodied.

Jason’s fist was red as he’d obviously punched the older man. Jason smiled a little as he grabbed your hand and walked you outside to his car.

The drive home was a rush as Jason hit speeds he would usually avoid, he charged through the streets in his Mustang.

Jason was charged with adrenaline and rage as he got you both home, Jason ordered you in the house.

‘Get in, wait for me in the bedroom’ Jason ordered as he locked the car doors.

You walked toward the bedroom as your heart pounded. Your heart thumped so hard you couldn’t hear anything else.

Jason’s form appeared in the bedroom doorway as he threw you on the bed, ripping your shirt off.

You grabbed onto Jason and kissed him as he held onto your face, feeling heat coming from his crotch.

You shuddered as Jason took off his clothes, peeling the rest of yours off.

‘Who do you belong to?’ Jason asked, hard as he stared in your eyes.

‘You’ you responded quick, Jason raised his eyebrows.

‘Who?’ He asked again, harsher than before as he applied pressure to your throat.

‘You Master’ you responded, feeling yourself getting hard.

Jason pushed you down as he yanked your hair, biting your neck.

He rolled you onto your front as he pushed himself inside you. Raw, with no warning.

‘I’m gonna fuck you till you can’t fucking walk again, maybe then you’ll remember that you fucking belong to me’ Jason growled as he pumped into you.

You clawed at the bedsheets as Jason stuffed himself deep inside you, pulling your hair again as he kissed the top of your head. Jason then placed his hand on the back of your head, pushing it into the pillow.

‘This is what happens when you don’t obey me, you get fucked raw. Do you like misbehaving?’ Jason roared as he slammed into you quickly, you moaning underneath as your back shivered.

‘No master, I’ll behave’ you panted as Jason’s dick filled you up from behind.

Jason was hitting so hard that the bed would’ve surely broke into pieces. The force of his manhood was surely going to tear you in half.

‘I don’t believe you, this is your punishment, you are mine and you won’t fucking obey me. This is your punishment’ Jason panted as he continued to pump deep inside you.

His throbbing length ached for release as Jason thrusted even faster and harder, his seed spilled into you as you felt it swim inside you.

‘Fuck’ Jason called out as he emptied his load.

You lay on your front trying to catch your breath as you felt Jason pull out of you, your brain seemed to be switched off as you couldn’t register anything for at least a minute.

‘Clean yourself up, slut’ Jason ordered as he stood up and threw a towel at you.

Jason left the room to use the shower as you grabbed the towel, wiping yourself up as you felt Jason’s seed dribble out of your hole.

You stood and looked at yourself in the mirror as you saw Jason’s teeth marks on your body, red marks where he had grabbed. Areas of your body that Jason had marked for you to remember, remember who you belong to.

Jason was angry that another man had touched you, he was angry that you entertained the idea you were noticed. Jason would never be angry at you, hurt you on purpose or even assault you.

It was these moments that you actually felt more love than ever from Jason, a man who was so dominating and overpowering. It was why you stayed.

Jason loves you, no doubt about it, but he just hates that men still think they can try it with you.

The first time this happened you almost shit yourself.

It was in a bar and a man asked for your number, not realising Jason is your boyfriend. Jason got so angry that he drove you both home, he didn’t speak to you the whole way and you thought you’d done something.

Jason lifted his hand to run through his hair, but you flinched the second Jason’s hand raised. His eyes shot wide as he looked at you, realising what you thought of him.

Jason gave you the chance to leave then and there, but you didn’t. You stayed, and every time a man looks at you, Jason has to remind you that you’re his.

Jason was smiling at you as he pulled you into bed with him, holding you in his arms as the two of you slept. A moment to last all night, where both of you wanted to remain. With each other.

[vaguely-greenish]

Continuing on from that Robin Only AU because it will not get out of my head.

So, Starro attacks and attempts to conquer earth, enthralling many of it’s most powerful heroes but overlooking the young heroes who work alongside those heroes. This group, later known as The Titans defeat the conqueror, free their mentors and the world, and banish the would be ruler to the Phantom Zone thanks to Supergirl.

During this crisis, when all seemed lost Supergirl told the tale of the Kryptonian heroes Flamebird and Nightwing to inspire the group and this story stuck with Dick in particular. After this battle Dick sheds the title of Robin, moving on from his quest for vengeance, and dons the name Nightwing.

After a fight with disgraced former hypnotherapist Harleen Quinzel, better known as the villainous Yo-Yo, Nightwing finds his ‘Nightcycle’ missing it’s wheels and after some digging finds them in the possession of an orphan not much younger than himself, Jason Todd.

Seeing a glimmer of himself and what he could have become, Dick let’s Jason go with the wheels but quickly finds that Jason is just one of many Orphan’s manipulated by Black Mask and his Falseface Gang.

With Oracle’s help he tracks down the heart of Black Mask’s criminal empire and foolishly rushes in, angered by the manipulation of these kids. After a drawn out fight, Dick finds himself on the back foot and one wrong move away from losing it all, until the thunk of a crowbar against the crime lord’s mask gives him the opening he needs to strike and leave the villain unconscious.

Jason Todd looks down at the criminal and then back at the crowbar in his hands and then to the hero he’d stolen from. An anonymous tip comes through to the Wayne Foundation about a group of orphaned youths in need of help.

Within the hour many of the teens are being taken to the Leslie Thompkins home for forsaken children, except for Jason who finds himself at Nightwing’s hidden hideout, The Aviary, ready to don the mantle of Robin. While elsewhere The Court of Owls fumes over the loss of their puppet’s criminal ring and plots against Nightwing.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Mental Break

Despite the title I think this will be a funnier one.  As a reminder, disregard anything in canon (if such a creature even exists for DC) that contradicts this.

We start with Jason Todd, the Red Hood.  He comes to Gotham having been manipulated by Talia Al Ghul to believe that Jason had been easily replaced by Tim Drake as Robin. That Bruce likely never loved him. 

We are sometime in that strange time after Red Hood delivers his bag of heads, but before anyone knew he was Jason Todd.  He had plans to attack his replacement, but wanted more intel first.  

He tracks down his replacement and douses him with something aerosolized that would induce truthfulness for a short time and asks/shouts at him to find out why Tim took the mantle of Robin.  Tim answers with something to the effect of ‘It was the only option’. Now what Tim means is Gotham needs Batman, and Batman needs Robin, and nobody else was stepping up.  What Red Hood heard was that Bruce was forcing this child to be Robin, that there was some kind of hostage situation going on (Much later, whenever this story is told, Bruce gets an aggrieved, tired look and says ‘I was the hostage in this situation’). 

Somehow this twists through the Pit Madness until Jason is convinced that it was not that Bruce replaced Jason with Tim and that Bruce never loved Jason. Instead he comes to believe that Jason's death broke Bruce so badly that he believes that Tim is Jason. That Bruce kidnapped a neighborhood kid and forced him into the Robin costume so that Bruce did not have to face his son being dead.  Tim is, of course, just trying to survive what must be a terrifying and surreal experience.  It also gives Jason a good explanation why the Joker is still alive (Killing the Joker for Killing Jason means admitting Jason is dead).  Jason manages to hack into the bat computer and get some, but not all, of the videos of Tim’s training and nothing that he got dissuades this belief.  Particularly since many of the early videos have Bruce drunk, calling Tim Jason, and being unnecessarily rough (Some of which was deliberate to try to get Tim to quit).  He also manages to miss any evidence that Alfred knew anything about Tim being Robin, so he thinks that Alfred, in his own grief, is missing the whole ass child that Bruce has apparently kidnapped. 

So now instead of planning a confrontation between Batman and the Joker he is considering the implications of Bruce finding out Jason’s identity. He is asking himself if it would break Bruce further, if Bruce would hurt Tim for ‘pretending’ to be Robin/Jason, if Bruce would even believe Jason. 

To the confusion of all the Bats, Red Hood’s entire personality abruptly seemed to shift. He was still a crime lord, still killing. However, before he had clearly hated the Bats, now anytime he crossed paths with either Batman or Robin he asked strange, aggressive yet concerned questions about their well being and mental health. 

Even more hilariously, Red Hood goes to Nightwing and (after proving that he really was Jason Todd) convinces Dick of this belief.  Dick thinks back to his own first interaction with Tim, where Tim was trying to convince him to come back, and comes to the, entirely incorrect, conclusion that this actually supported Jason's theory. Dick reframes the conversation in his head until it seems as though Tim was asking for Dick to rescue him instead of what was actually happening. He is also only rarely in Gotham so cannot think of a single instance that disproves Jason’s theory. 

What happens next can only be described as Shenanigans. 

Batman, and Robin are trying to figure out why Nightwing is suddenly working with the Crime Lord Red Hood. Also why Batman calling Tim Robin in the field makes him flinch. He keeps refusing to come back to the Cave or the Manor (because Dick is sure he will spill the beans about Jason and is afraid that will break Bruce further) and is possibly trying to lure Robin away. In addition Nightwing keeps asking really weird questions about where Tim is sleeping and how he is getting food and is he going to school.

Nightwing and Red Hood are trying to figure out (subtly, a term which neither actually have any grasp on) how deep Bruce's delusions go, how much Tim understands about what is going on, and how to get Tim away from Bruce long enough to get them all some help. Plus trying to find a therapist specifically for Tim (whom they assume is going to be deeply traumatized out of all this). 

Just all around Shenanigans.

[potatoesarecheese]

fics that have forever altered my brain chemistry

(organized by fandom)

Grishaverse

read me poetry by dead men by demigodbeautiies

Major Character Death (but like, he's already dead)

Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, background Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, ghosts, ghosts only exist in the moments they are remembered, Non-Linear Narrative, Hurt Hurt Hurt Hurt/Comfort, this one will leave you actually sobbing, implied sexual content

Word Count: 16792 words. 1/1 chapter

Summary:

Wylan suits bright colours better than anything else: especially the warm tones that bring out the gold shine in his hair. He doesn’t look good in black.

Or: Jesper watches the living carry on without him.

origami butterflies by focacciaherbs

Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Background Nina/Matthias, road trips with a stranger, first meeting, modern au, miscommunications, so much bickering, Jan Van Ick is a terrible father but karma catches up to him eventually, implied sexual content (not really)

Word Count: 54536 words. 8/8 chapters

Summary:

“Are you Jesper Fahey?” Just say no, Jesper thinks as he stares at the man in front of him. Deny it and drive off.  “Yeah, that’s me.” He sighs. “Get in.”

or: as part of a job for kaz, jesper agrees to drive a weird, annoying, definitely not at all attractive stranger across the country. shenanigans ensue.

Only One Reasonable Plea by Frick6101719

fear of noncon (it doesn't happen, and Kaz never has that intention, but Inej is very convinced that it might for a moment)

Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Inej's early days in the Dregs, she also gets a better explanation of her contract with the dregs, Kaz is trying his best to be a good boss but he is just so confused and emotionally incompetent sometimes

Word Count: 3883 words. 1/1 chapter

Summary:

Inej realises that she was so eager to leave the Menagerie she neglected to ask a few important questions about just what her duties as a Dreg would be, and what exactly her new boss expects from her.

a good myth is hard to kill by MajorGodComplex

Kaz Brekker/Darkling, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker/Jesper Fahey (kind of), Sun Summoner Kaz, Canon-Typical Violence, Mostly Kazling, unhealthy relationships, the slowest of burns (death threats are involved), Kaz learns how to open up to people the hard way, meanwhile the Darkling is busy gaslight-gatekeep-girlbossing, no seriously is gets bad, the Crows have so many shenanigans, oh and Nikolai is there too I guess

Word Count: 231561 words. 97/97 chapters

Summary:

“Kaz Brekker…Sun Summoner...I’ve been waiting a long time for you.” “Hope that means you’ve built patience, then, because I anticipate you’re going to wait a fair bit more.”

Kaz is the Sun Summoner, and boy is he pissed about it.

Batman Media

what you're longing for (you claim to abhor) by ghost-bxrd

Violence (mostly canon-typical, but there are some graphic-er parts)

They're All Good Siblings, Identity Reveal, jason pretends to be a hallucination, the bats get kidnapped far too many times to be healthy for them but it's ✨for the plot✨, the batfam has a collective identity crisis about Red Hood, Hurt/Comfort, oops Jason accidentally got emotionally attached to someone he's supposed to hate

Word Count: 52036 words. 12/12 chapters

Summary:

He smiles, all teeth, “Come on Replacement, I even got to the door with both legs busted. This should be nothing.” “You’re right. Jason… Jason wouldn’t have given up. He would fight, I can still—“ The boy wobbles, and Jason has to suppress the mortifying impulse to jump to his aid. “I can still fight. Batman needs me.” “That’s a terrible idea,” he muses aloud, and if there’s a hint of real concern somewhere under all the roiling green, well, nobody can prove it.

aka. the not-actual-hallucination Jason Todd tries the less hands on approach to getting revenge. It ends up backfiring spectacularly.

aka. the non traditional way to (reluctantly) reintegrate into the family after being dead, coming back to life, and becoming a crime lord, Jason "Red Hood" Todd edition

On The Record by oldmannapping

Social Media, Crack Treating Seriously, mostly about Roy & Bernard & Jason but there's a bunch of other characters in there too, mini stories and vignettes that kind of connect

Word Count: 9,652 words. 7/? chapters

Summary:

Bernard and Roy start a TikTok page. Red Hood reads thirst tweets. Nightwing is a troll. Roy gets candid.

Gotham isn't prepared.

I will probably add to this...

[cologona]

If you won some sort of lottery contest and DC allowed you to write a comic run for any character, any topic, no limits, what would your comic be like?

What kinda plot and characters would you want to etch into official DC canon? (Or would you prefer to write an elseworlds kinda thing?)

-redhoodinternaldialectical from the "main" blog

Sorry it took a while to answer this, I got pretty carried away! Jason is my favorite character and the character I know most about, so of course I'd write about him. This is going to be pretty long winded and fanfic-y, hope you don’t mind!

First things first I’m making both UTRH and Lost Days mostly canon again. Jason was a crime lord who did Mean Crime Lord Things for a while and that’s what I’ve decided everyone is referring to when they gesture vaguely to his villainous past.

I’m also bringing back the original “big boob” backstory where Jason makes Bruce laugh on the anniversary of his parents’ death. Catherine was an opioid addict due to illness, Willis was the person who taught Jason about cars (and thus how to jack tires) and Faye Gunn is no longer Jason’s grandma. (I really disliked Ma Gunn’s “redemption” in RHATO.) Just in case, I’m also reiterating Sheila’s role in Jason’s death.

Here’s a few lines I came up with for the Todds:

Jason keeps the letters Willis sent him from prison - the ones Ma Gunn hid- in the same picture frame that holds his Robin graduation photo with Bruce. He loved and resented Willis in equal parts, but mostly he regrets not having gotten more time. It’s all the same with fathers.

Catherine is curled up in bed, her expression is half a grimace. She asks Jason, who is reading a picture-book by her side, to get her ‘medicine’ for her. Jason doesn’t know how else to help her feel better so… that’s exactly what he does. In a moment, he returns with a small heart shaped box and a cup of microwaved soup.

If I can imply in some way that Catherine is in denial about the possibility of her dying I’d like to do that too.

I’m also doing a total overhaul of the All-Caste.

Essence is getting proper Tibetan braids, Ducra is going to wear a khampa chuba instead of her current old coat, and the Acres-of-All are getting reimagined as a towering Ziggurat with all the murals, pillars, curtains, and ornate trim befitting a monastery! The All-caste of memory will be bright and fantastical, but the ruins of the present will be dark and spooky.

Some references for what I'm talking about.

I’m also reframing the “Absolute Evil” part of the All-blades’ description to be an epithet for the Untitled. The sword is not literally judging Goodness and Evilness anymore; now they cut through negative psychic energy Jujutsu Kaisen style. I don’t think I need to spell out a justification for Jason being able to summon them whenever, but for any sticklers I’ll just say it’s because Jason- like the Untitled- has a lot of bad feelings and trace amounts of Dionesium in his system (among assorted other chemicals.)

Since Lost Days is being brought back that means instead of spending an entire 3 years with the All-Caste, Jason only spent a few weeks with them during his world-wide training arc. Ostensibly because a little magic would give him an edge over Batman. Ducra wouldn’t normally just give away powerful magic weapons to any chump with a free weekend, and she knew Jason was dangerous, but since the All-Blades are so specific and the ritual to attain them nigh-unsurvivable she saw an opportunity to use Jason. Sure she's one of the Good Guys, but she's not called a conniving old witch for nothing hoohoo!

Now a few plot ideas for a vague overall mini-arc.

First, Jason goes to ugly lengths to protect or prevent consequences from finding one of his family. Maybe someone threatens their secret identity…? The ‘opponent’ should be someone innocent and/or noble but not easily bought or fought. Maybe Vicki Vale, another Hero, or some kind of wealthy heir. The point is to cast doubt on if Jason’s return to the Bats is really so unquestionably redeeming. Jason has pretty much chosen to betray his morals for them after all.

Then, Jason chooses not to kill a villain who shortly afterwards victimizes more people and skips town before he can get caught. Basically a rehash of Diplomat’s Son except the Garzonas figure gets away. It’s technically a win for Batman- his presence kept Gotham safe after all. But it doesn’t feel like a win, especially not to Jason.

And finally, Jason frames himself for various murders committed by victims against their abusers. Maybe kick the story off with one of Ma Gunn’s boys killing her and telling the cops it was Red Hood in a desperate bid to avoid jail.

Obviously Jason can’t be allowed to do this long-term. It’s a bad precedent to set, an obstruction of justice, etc… Jason hasn’t broken The Big Rule though, and Bruce can only act so sanctimonious when those same complaints could be are made about him as well. There’s no way this ends any other way than Batman running Red Hood out of Gotham again and they both know it, but neither deviates from the path set before them.

One or two “monster of the week” issues where Jason fights various assassins and bounty hunters sent by his more influential enemies might be good- one should occur right after the above story. A consequence for his “return to form” so to speak. Batfamily fans may appreciate a scene where Bruce says something indicating that he ran Jason out for his own safety as well as Gotham’s. Batman may be able to hide in Bruce Wayne’s skin during the day but Jason’s only identity is that of Red Hood, and at times that makes him vulnerable in a way other heroes aren’t. This + some panels contrasting the generic mercenary look of Jason’s guns and equipment with the Bats’ spandex future-tech will be great for showing how separate Jason is from the Bats.

Now while Jason’s out of Gotham again there’s this detail in one of RHATO’s flashbacks that I want to expand on- that being how he used to be able to summon a lot more All-blades.

Red Hood Outlaw 34

“I had a lot of soul back then” - implying that he has a lot less soul now…!?

Jason’s been through a lot, in life sure but also more recently. Fight scenes where the All-blades take the form of daggers would not only be cool and evocative of the wavy dagger Talia gifted him way back when, they’d be good visual sign of his declining emotional state.

Later on as his soul ‘shrinks’ further, I’d give him a pair of mystical guns through which he can channel his All-blades into bullets. If it’s another gift from Talia I’m thinking dark brass revolvers with paisley filigree and a red Endless Knot charm hanging from each handle. If they’re from Essence or S’aru I’m thinking black lacquer and silver cloud-patterned ornamentation, with red coral embedded on either side of the gun. Beautiful Bayonetta-style guns with glowing red veins and a cowboy flair!

antique guns which inspired me

As for what he’s using the All-blades (All-bullets?) for, I think it’d be fun to have Jason exorcising some ghosts. He can solve various murder mysteries, figure out why this place or that person is haunted, and get into fights with horrific otherworldly creatures. Jason is an interesting character to do this premise with because he might just determine that some some spirits should get their revenge, and act on behalf of a ghost rather than erasing it.

I’m not sure whether I’d want to have Essence join him or not… On one hand it only makes sense that Jason would help Isabel and Essence find a way to free themselves from the Blood Blade, and that goal would provide his character with some direction. Then again, Essence/Isabel could be cool as antagonists. Jason might see some ghosts as valid but Essence probably wouldn’t see any merit in appeasing manifestations of lingering resentment. She’s similar to him in that she also turned her back on her family, but she’s different in that she did it because she believed so wholeheartedly in their cause. She’s old and sort of a Jedi, but she’s hot-blooded and she’ll never not be Ducra’s daughter in the same way it seems Jason can never escape Batman’s shadow. I bet she has some real juicy sunk-cost fallacy type thinking too, that’d be fun to dig into.

Anyways I think this is a pretty good set-up to explore the politics/morality of forgiveness. What makes the difference between an injustice and a hatchet that ought to be buried? When is forgiveness empowering and when is it coerced? Who is it that must forgive? Justice vs Revenge, that whole kind of thing.

Other than the supernatural stuff I want Jason working with Talia, and I’m reintroducing Sasha to the post-52 continuity. Duela is getting nixed.

I don’t really have any specific plot ideas for Talia, but I would like to establish Jason as one of her associates. With Lost Days back they have basis for an actual relationship again. They’re not always on the same side but Jason can sometimes do tasks for Talia (outside the purview of Ra’s and the LOA), and Talia can occasionally support Jason with various social power-play type moves.

An instance of Jason getting into a fight with one of the Bats because he’s doing a favor for Talia would be great! I wouldn't write Talia as an evil evil bad horrible dragon lady, so it shouldn’t be a huge blow to Jason’s status as a Good Guy. Also I like the idea of Jason and Talia’s relationship mostly being inferred through their actions supporting one another, rather than directly showing much ‘on-screen’ interaction between them.

Also it’ll be interesting to go into Bruce, Dick, and Damian’s reaction to finding out that they’re not the only ones Jason is loyal to. Bruce thinking Talia was a bad influence on Jason (like fanon), silently frustrated because what he really wants is for Jason to be a full Bat-Believer (like the good old days…). Dick being fine with Jason never falling fully in-line with Bruce, provided that at the end of the day his loyalty belonged to his family.

-brief topical detour to talk about Sasha-

The new timeline of events is that Jason and Sasha met as fellow patients while Jason was in his Vague Villain era. They escaped the hospital building together (Sasha in her bloody dress, and Jason naked save for his skimpy hospital gown dhoti) and having no one else they stuck together. They got close but at some point Sasha lost her memories, giving her a chance at a fresh start. This was around the same time Jason “redeemed” himself and so just like Max Dawkins, ‘Numbers’, and Gabby Christiensen -Sasha became another person from Jason’s past that he didn’t let himself have a relationship with.

Sasha was just old enough that she didn’t have to be sent into foster care, so with some help from Wayne Foundations she got her GED and her feet underneath her. Now… she goes to work, goes to her physical therapy appointments, fights with her mother over the phone, and yes- sometimes she goes to the club.

The new Sasha still has spiky red hair but her face looks entirely normal save for a subtle scar tracing around her jawline and chin- the edges of where her mask used to sit. She wears dark makeup and even darker clothes. She’s prone to false memories and dissociation. She’s lost most of her ability to feel pain. She can’t watch certain shows she used to love anymore because they trigger her. She never returned to Russia. She doesn’t have many friends.

Since this is comics, her reintroduction will come by way of a dramatic fight. Sasha will regain her memories one day and show up out of the blue to fight Jason, angry and heartbroken that he abandoned her. He tries to explain himself but she just says look what they did to my face, referring to the facial reconstructive surgery she was given while amnesiac. She’ll be difficult to fight, not only because being a partial Dollotron gives her enhanced strength but also because she’s being reckless and the longer they fight the more strain and damage her body accrues.

After Jason apologizes and they reconcile (they will both cry) Sasha can become a recurring side character that Jason visits, keeping him grounded and up to date with Gotham. I think it'd be cute for her to bid him farewell by saying she’ll hold the city hostage until he comes back. (Is Sasha going to become Jason’s love interest? No. If I give Jason a love interest it’s going to be Numbers.)

--Going back to the previous topic, I want Sasha’s return to be part of this greater arc of Jason addressing his "shrinking soul" problem. My brain is a little fried now so I’m not exactly sure how but she is related. I think she ought to be.

Jason wants Bruce to be right. He would like for his problem to be fixed by going home and saying sorry. But at the end of my run I want him to face the reality that it’s not about that.

...Perhaps it should be about Jason 'abandoning' Gotham? I don’t really want the final thesis of my run to imply that Jason’s soul would just be fixed if he killed Rogues though, and Jason always came back whenever a big disaster was happening so it doesn't quite fit anyways… Jason does believe in the value of “pure” heroes it’s just not what he’s supposed to be. Whatever his problem's “about” , it ought to prompt Jason to stop taking Bruce’s shit. I'm saying the man is literally breaking Jason's spirit.

I’m sympathetic to Bruce but I wouldn’t write him as a nice father. I would also have scene where a younger Bat accuses Jason of being overdramatic despite 'not even having it the worst’. I don't know who 'has it the worst' but I want to make a statement that you don't need to win the pain-race to be fed up.

Ah anyways, now my brain is really fried. I hope this post was coherent all the way through, I neglected to edit and organize my thoughts as much towards the end. Thank you for asking me such a great question, I had a lot of fun thinking about it! :D

[thatthirdtriplet]

Relationship:

Tim Drake & Jason Todd

Characters:

Jason Todd Tim Drake Alfred Pennyworth Bruce Wayne Dick Grayson

Additional Tags:

5+1 Things implied/Referenced Character Death Jason Todd is Red Hood Sort Of Tim Drake is Robin Jason Todd-centric manipulative Jason Todd Jason Todd Has Issues Jason Todd Being a Little Shit Jason Todd Being an Idiot Tim Drake Lacks Self-Preservation Instincts oblivious Tim Drake enemies to Friends sibling Bonding coffee au swearing hugs misunderstandings Tim Drake Needs a Hug Tim Drake Needs a Break Tim Drake & Jason Todd Bonding crying

Summary:

After coming back to Gotham, and despite many objections to the name, Jason becomes the Red Hood; newest ally to The Dynamic Duo. Except, Jason has a plan. A really big plan. An evil plan. A plan to get rid of Robin permanently (but not in the dead sense).

Where Red Hood isn't a crime lord on a warpath, but instead trying to destroy The Bats from the inside by pushing Robin out of the nest. Although, his plan might need a couple readjustments when things start going off script. Good thing Tim is too oblivious to realize Jason's brilliant master-minding skills.

[methoughtsphantom]

plot bunnies about an idea i don’t have enough motivation juice to write. red hood identity reveal variety

smol jason

So, Red Hood reclutantly working alongside the Bat to take down a child trafficking ring when he is hit with a de-aging spell. It even isn’t the first time Batman encountered the end of this particular spell so he already knows the victim would have no recollection of their memories, so he protects the now child (he guessing 11 estimate age) and guides him through the panic of not being able to take off the Red Hood helmet. the one that canonically has a bomb in it (cause older Jason is a dramatic bitchTM) so like, Batman catches the child’s prying fingers and takes them away from the latches because Hood has implied the existence of a bomb and that’s enough for dread to set in his gut. Bruce gently coaxes the child to let him confirm this with a device he takes out of his belt and raises it eye level to the kid’s head. It beeps. And B feels the ground sweep out under him. Because indeed this child has a bomb to his head. (and he’s suddenly hearing another bomb go off in the distance and a warehouse and —)

anyways, B ends up taking (read kidnapping) this twelve year old to the Batcave so they can pry off the helmet and I can only picture the ANGST because this is Jason and Bruce each unaware of who the other is. Jason still lives in the streets in his mind according to him and well, according to B, he’s dead. So they start bonding, kinda awkwardly at first cuz of the helmet’s voice modulator, but Jay at that age (at any rlly) was a spitfire and like he genuinely makes B forget this is a crime lord for a second (kinda difficult to that when the kid is stuck in the helmet) but whatever. I can only see Jason being his cautious self but kinda being at ends here because he kinda does need Batman’s help to get this thing off him, so he can only, just like narrow his eyes when the Bat approaches him for a blood sample. (“Need to check for magic residue, lad.”)

(Jason’s only allows this because he has a knife he found in the clothes he’d was drowning in earlier)

As u can guess, Bruce was obviously lying and wanted to run the blood sample to see if it matched any from his database (as the Red Hood has also implied that they have met before)

Anyways Bruce just gets the alert that the blood reading was finished almost at the same time they can pry the helmet off, and because he got a little attached, he just wants to see the face of this lively if wary teenager that has the same name as his (dead) son. (he managed to pry it from him earlier, how, i dunno) It’s literally Bruce’s martyr and huge guilt-complex that goes like ‘ah yes let me see the face of a child that was failed so throughly by the people who should’ve taken care of him’. So they pry off the helmet and then Bruce feels like he’s been doused by cold water. it’s like he’s staring at the ghost of his dead son again, the image completed with ruffled hair, slightly upturned lips and blue guarded eyes that look up to him with recognition but not recognition.

Bruce immediately hardens, shuts down any hope he can feel rushing in and desperately tries to close the dam and let his confusion and rage turn into anguish. “Who are you?”

The boy—the imposter quickly tracks the 180 demeanor change and immediately goes defensive. A painfully familiar scowl appears in his face.

“I’m Jason, I already told you that, what, your old age catching up to you?”

Batman stalks closer and then the boy’s taking two steps back for every one the Bat takes. He tracks the loose outline of a hand closing in tightly around the hilt of a knife in the boy wearing his son’s face and he can only think how dare he.

“Lies! You’re not my son! Who are you?”

Heart in throat, Jason struggles to keep distance between him and the towering black shadow that’s so angry he can sense it in his very bones. He doesn’t understand.

He doesn’t.

“I-I my name’s Jason. Jason Todd. My father is Willis Todd, not—not, Batman.”

And there’s that for the little snippet. Sorry this is so disjointed😭. After that’s just the mental image of Dick cutting in with Zatanna trailing closely behind him and being all “Hey I got your message about a de-aging spell and—“ and just stopping at the scene.

Because that’s Batman towering over a clearly scared kid. Said kid using the distraction to try and stab Batman. The action clearly enraging Batman—that doesn’t make any sense?! B would never— Dick immediately sprints into action and steps in between the two.

like Dick just giving his back to the kid and not seeing. Batman clearly shaking his head in denial and snarling, treating the kid like his crime lord self and Dick not understanding. Having to receive help from Zatanna to get the kid the hell out of here (but like where would they even take him? The manor??)

Zatanna just takes them to the other side of the cave and takes note of the teenager. How he has a dead grip on a red helmet and his gaze is stuck upon it.

Meanwhile Dick has to physically restrain Batman from going after the kid and he raises his voice just enough to demand what the hell is happening?? Why is there a kid in the Batcave? …Batman??? Report. As he is demanding answers Dick had slowly loosen his grip on his dad only to now found him staring at his gauntlet’s data hologram.

The information displayed? 99.98% Match confirmed to Jason Peter Todd.

So as this is clearly pure angst, I want Jason to lash out, sticking only to Zatanna only to realize she’s the magic user that’ll quote on quote will return him back to normal.

Jason is just like on really uneven ground here, even though he doesn’t think he’s ready to retur. But then Batman is just like “Jaylad” … “Jay…” and taking off his cowl and reaching up to him and looking at him like he knows him, like he’s something fragile and precious. Which is sooo fucking jarring you can understand. Jason internally is all what the fuck

Jason just wants them to back off. Jason is an overwhelmed bean. He looks up to Nightwing for help but the man is also mirroring the Bat, domino off and eyes suspiciously bright.

Zatanna is literally the only person in the room not emotionally compromised. She’s with Jay in the ??? train.

Suddenly she looks down and there’s the little boy whose eyes are pleading in helpless confusion. Eyes practically conveying the question you can return me back to normal right?? he pointedly doesn’t rip his eyes from hers as Zatanna puts a hand on his shoulder, pretending she doesn’t notice how he trembles and wordlessly asks if he’s sure.

cut scene

Bruce interrupts because information overload and he can’t compartmentalize this is too important and he and Dick stop Zatanna to which she too is ?? because that was literally what she was called for here. Dick is no help.

Dick is torn.

[incrediblyaccuratethoughts]

I’m Gonna Tell ‘Em (Don’t you Dare)

Ao3

Tim just wanted coffee. That’s really all he desired in life. Coffee. His position as Red Robin. And Wayne Industries to get its shit together for one goddamn day. In that order.

“Are you shitting me? I was a fucking crime lord you little terror, I don’t give a fuck-”

He’d done an all-nighter in the Batcave. Again. Trying to crack a cold case he was sure had something to do with Riddler's vague warning a few nights ago. And he was so close, but his eyes had started to close for just a little too long.

So tell him why he walked into an argument that seemed to be based around the topic of murder, at 7 in the morning. Between Jason and Damian. Who both tried to kill him at least once. Respectively.

“And I am the Demon Prodigy of the League of Assassins. I could kill a man before I could speak.”

Tim stands in the doorway, contemplating if his need for coffee is higher than his potential rate of getting maimed in the dining room.

“Yeah, but you were fucking sheltered inside the bases like goddamn Rapunzel in her-”

“I was not sheltered. You of all people should know of Mother’s harshness for disobedience-“

“Oh and I’m sure you were so disobedient Mr. Goody Two Shoes-“

Ultimately, the urge for coffee wins. Tim crosses the kitchen as unnoticeably as he can, skirting the edges and keeping his footsteps as light as he can manage on 10 hours of sleep in the last week.

He’s busy, okay?

“I’ll admit I wasn’t raised to go against the orders of a higher-up but that did not mean-”

“Bull. Fucking. Shit.”

“Did my propensity for sneaking animals into the house escaped your notice? I thought you were better trained-“

“So what? You save every bird with a broken wing you come across, but you’d willingly slit the throat of a human?”

“Yes, Todd. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

The coffee pot is half full. Tim counts this as the one redeeming factor of this morning. The threat of getting stabbed is nothing in the face of sweet, sweet caffeine.

“What’s your fucking number then?”

“I can’t possibly know the exact-“

“Oh no, you don’t get to pull that shit on me-“

Tim considers pouring himself a cup, but he’s gonna drink the whole thing anyway and he’s exhausted enough to zone out during Alfred’s inevitable lecture, so he takes the whole pot and tips it back.

“I was sent out for missions when I was barely more than a toddler. You can’t expect me to remember every-“

“Ra’s had files on every fucking mission I did while brain dead and high on Lazarus rage, there’s no fucking way he didn’t have an exact-“

Tim chugs his precious coffee. The temperature is surprisingly cool enough that he doesn't immediately burn his tongue. Not that a few scorched taste buds would stop Tim from inhaling the only thing between him and unconscious. But it’s the thought that counts.

“What’s yours then, Todd?”

“Nope. Not until you tell me yours first. I’m not about to have you raise the number because I told you mine.”

“That’s preposterous. I would do no such thing.”

Tim calculates his chances of making it back out of the kitchen with a quarter pot of coffee in his hands and decides his caffeine fix is safer off with a few counters between him and his homicidal brothers.

And yah know. His physical well-being. But that’s pretty low on his ‘fucks to give list’ at the moment.

“I don’t trust a fucking word coming out of your mouth-“

“There’s an easy way to settle this if you’d just-“

“What? Shut up? Drop the argument? No fucking-“

“We can write it down separately and then show it to each other at the same time."

“…huh.”

Tim looks up in genuine fear when both of his siblings go quiet. That’s never a good sign. Not in this house.

There’s a window to his right that he could probably smash through if it came to it.

Neither of them are looking at him though, just regarding each other with much less animosity than a few seconds ago. Tim decides he’s probably fine and goes back to his coffee.

“I will go retrieve a piece of paper and two pens.”

Damian leaves the room and Tim freezes like if he stays still enough it’ll keep Jason from noticing him. Unfortunately, now that his older brother’s attention is directed to his surroundings and not just screaming at a 12-year-old, he makes direct eye contact with Tim.

“Oh hey, Timmers. How long have you been here?”

Tim stares at him blankly. He- doesn’t know what answer Jason wants from him and he’s not willing to face his older brother’s wrath if he’d been having what he thought was a private conversation.

“Sorry about the noise. I hope we didn’t wake you up.” Jason says after it’s clear that he isn't getting answers out of Tim.

As if the manor isn’t literally soundproofed. For this exact reason.

Tim’s 17 years of social etiquette training won’t let him just not answer the open-ended comment, but god does he wish that it did.

“No, I was already up.”

Jason nods as if he was expecting that answer. Which is fair. Tim’s sure he looks just as tired as he feels. His eye bags could hold all of his emotional trauma. They’re Guchi.

“And does Alfred know you’re drinking straight from the pot?” Jason motions to the carafe Tim’s clutching like a lifeline. Because it is.

Tim opens his mouth to lie through his teeth, but is saved by Damian’s re-entry. Wow, he’s never been so glad to see his stab-happy younger brother.

True to his word, the kid’s carrying a few pieces of paper and pens. Tim could leave now. He could casually walk right past them, out of the kitchen, and back to the cave to keep working on his case, but dammit, he’s invested now.

He’s still not sure what this argument is about exactly, but he’s willing to wait a few more minutes to satiate his curiosity now that he’s tentatively sure that the argument isn’t going to evolve into physical violence.

“I’ve acquired the tools to finish this once and for all, Todd.” Damian announces, sliding half of his spoils to Jason.

“Great. We’ll write our body count down and on 3 we’ll turn ‘em around. Got it?”

“Don’t tell me what to do” Damian grumbles, but writes dutifully anyway. The kid would be funny if he didn’t back his threats up with swords.

Tim is. Still lost, but he’s always secretly wondered how many people his brothers have killed. In a morbid way. Mostly because he wants to know if the murder attempts on him were a particularly special event or just a pattern. For his mental health's sake.

“Got it?” Jason asks, holding his paper close to his chest so no one can peek. Tim doesn’t know who would, considering he’s the only one in the kitchen that’s not a part of this squabble, but Damian copies the movement and Tim finds himself inching closer, taking the last swig of his coffee.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!”

They flip the papers around and for a moment the kitchen is quiet.

“FUCK YEAH!” Jason pumps his fist in the air with a whoop. “Ha! Take that, Demon Brat! I’m the Robin with the highest kill count!”

Tim spits out his coffee and coughs violently. It’s partially because he got some in his lungs, but also to cover the incredulous laughter bursting uncontrollably out of him. It takes him a good few seconds to get his breathing under control, but when he looks up, his brothers are staring at him.

For a moment he’s tempted. So fucking tempted. Because he hasn’t told anyone anything more than bits and pieces about his time with the League. Hell, the only reason his family even knows about his little stint playing lap dog for Ra’s, is because he choked out a vague explanation about his missing spleen when he went into sepsis.

They don’t know about the missions he was sent on. The people he sold out. And most importantly, the multiple bases he blew up because he was crazier than the Joker after Bart and Kon’s death and then the near miss with Bruce.

The bases he absolutely didn’t evacuate. With hundreds of people inside. A few actually avalanched down mountainsides, and he’d eat his Batarang if any of them survived.

The only word he’d confidently use to describe his mental state then, is feral.

He didn’t have to blow them up. He really didn’t. A good few of the bases he’d never actually seen before he snuck in to level the place, but he’d been having a shitty year so naturally, he was going to make sure Ra’s got to have one too.

Not to mention that Tim was as depressed as he’d ever been and wasn’t particularly giving a lot of fucks about if he died during his warpath. He’d already lost a spleen, what were a few more organs?

So this argument? This competition? He finds it objectively fucking hilarious.

Damian and Jason are still staring at him in bewilderment, and for a moment -just a wild moment- he thinks about telling them.

Explaining how he was just. So done. And could only think of one way out, so he systematically hacked into every base he could get his hands on. Stole as many files as he could during his time constraint. And then blew all of them sky-high.

Thought about telling them how on one particularly bad night, gone through every log of the people in those bases. How he hadn’t been ‘sick’ as he claimed the week after he managed to crawl out of his safe house.

He was just too horrified to look anyone in the eye.

It would be funny to watch his family’s expressions go through the five stages of grief and add a few more just for funsies, if they even believed him at all. But no. Tim had his secrets and he was going to take them to the grave.

He grinned at his brothers, patted Jason on the shoulder with a quiet congratulations, and strolled out of the kitchen.

Tim had cases to solve and letting his family assume he wasn’t capable of murder was better for all of them in the long run.

No matter how wrong they were.

👻

In my defense. Writing prompts make the brain noodle go brr. You can blame @coffinbirds and @batcavescolony for these posts.

[random-movie-ideas]

Son of Batman (Movie Outline)

This movie is yet another part of the Cinematic Universe the others I've written have been a part of. This one specifically follows Batman & Batgirl: Arkham Assault which ended with Batman, Catwoman, and eight criminals all being captured by Scarecrow, as well as Nightwing: Under the Red Hood, where Jason Todd was revealed to be alive.

The movie begins six months after the disappearance of Batman and nine high profile Gotham criminals during the burning of Arkham. In that time, the remaining members of the Bat Family have worked tirelessly to find their missing friend while trying to maintain order in the resultant power vacuum that occurred in the city’s underworld.

We see Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, and Stephanie Brown (AKA Nightwing, Robin, and Spoiler) interrupt a meeting between crime lords Carmine Falcone and Rupert Thorne, taking them and their forces down. From the Batcave, Barbara Gordon, now wheelchair-bound and going by the name Oracle, works with Alfred to give them support. They are in constant contact with Barbara’s father, police commissioner Jim Gordon, who has now been let in on the full secret in Batman’s absence. Working together, they manage to take them down and arrest both crime bosses.

The next morning, a news report announces the arrests. We see a fourteen-year-old boy with messy hair and dark clothing watching the report on a public television. He looks at a piece of paper with several addresses written on it and puts up his hood. Meanwhile, back at the mansion, the family are in relatively high spirits celebrating their victory. Tim and Steph are goofing off and messing with Alfred a bit. Dick instructs them to do a little recon around the city today, while he heads down to the Bat Cave.

In the Bat Cave, he talks with Barbara, looking over a list of criminal activity she’s compiled, talking about how criminals have gotten bolder with the absence of both Batman and the major players like Joker and Two-Face. Barbara mentions to him again that names like Nightwing and Robin don’t strike as much fear as Batman does, and that maybe he needs to consider taking up the cowl. Dick turns her down flat. They flirt a bit before he heads out to get things done.

He first visits Jonathan Crane at the hospital where he now works. Crane complains offhandedly about not having nearly as good equipment as he had back in Arkham, but other than that, he has nothing new to tell him. Dick then stops by the warehouse where he regularly meets with his brother Jason. The pair talk but Jason has no new leads for him either.

Across the city, Tim and Steph are wandering around in their street clothes, keeping an eye out for signs of trouble. Tim lets Steph badger him into getting some ice cream from a local vendor, where they encounter the kid from the beginning of the movie, staring at the vendor out of curiosity. Steph offers to buy him a cone and he accepts but doesn’t speak to them. He seems to really enjoy it.

Later, Tim and Steph slip into their suits and sneak into the burned out ruins of Arkham. Tim expresses concern, as everyone who had gone in came back out horrified, claiming to have seen horrific visions inside. They decide to do so anyway, because they know there has to be some kind of clue. As they venture inside, one of them triggers a silent alarm. A strange mist fills the air and they end up getting separated. Steph sees someone shambling toward her, while Tim thinks he sees a scarecrow propped up. The figure approaching Steph turns into her father Arthur, riddled with bullet holes, while the scarecrow looks up as Tim approaches. Arthur apologizes to Steph, saying he got back into crime despite his promise to her before dying at her feet, while the scarecrow taunts Tim with images of Bruce, Dick, and Jason, calling him a faker, third in line of a second fiddle title, taking it on for fun while all who came before were forced into it.

Tim and Steph both run, Steph haunted by visions of other people she cares about being gunned down and killed, while Tim’s insecurities are attacked from every angle, with every member of the Bat Family calling him a fake. They both run into each other and find themselves surrounded by their respective specters. The Scarecrow steps out of their midst, laughing at them as more mist releases from his body.

A small hooded figure appears, striking the Scarecrow and knocking him back. He goes to Tim and Steph, giving them breathing masks and telling them it’s all an illusion. They recognize him as the boy from earlier, with his hood up and a breathing mask covering his own face. The Scarecrow attacks the boy, slashing at him and tearing his sleeve to reveal a symbol on his arm. The Scarecrow steps back in surprise as the boy covers it and tells the other two to run for it. The three flee from the mist and escape the ruins.

Tim and Steph wake up back at the mansion, being treated by Alfred. Barbara is nearby, telling them that they both inhaled a large amount of a hallucinogen that invokes a panic response in its victims. She is tending to the small boy, who doesn’t seem to want her help, while Dick and Gordon are both nearby. Dick tells them off for going there when he’d forbade doing so, but the boy says they were right to go there. That if they wanted answers as to what happened to Batman and the nine criminals, the answers were there.

The boy introduces himself as Damian and says that he’s a former member of the League of Shadows. Dick and Alfred both recognize the name, saying that’s the group who taught Batman much of what he knows. Damian tells them they’re a shadow organization that has existed for centuries, subtly manipulating historical events through assassinations and sabotage. Gotham is their next target, and the scarecrow that guards Arkham’s ruins is one of their agents. He set a trap for Batman and the nine missing criminals, and now he remains to make sure no one can find out what happened to them.

Dick questions whether or not Damian can be trusted, and if he’s not the one leading them into a trap. This leads into a debate between them all, but Alfred, who’d been staring at Damian as if he recognizes him, steps in and says they should all get some sleep and talk it over later. Alfred takes Damian to a guest room, but decides to let him into Bruce’s room instead. Damian stares at a picture of Bruce, and Alfred talks to him about him for a moment. Damian dodges his questions, which Alfred takes note of, and Alfred lets him go to sleep.

Down in the Batcave, Dick, Barbara, and Jim talk it over, joined by Alfred. They agree to go in, using the gas masks Damian offered them, but only Dick and Jim would go, while Tim and Steph would stay back at the mansion to continue recovering. Dick goes out briefly to find Jason and ask him to come with them. Jason acts dodgy as well and refuses to help. Later, Jason visits someone else, who tells him he is needed for a job.

The next day, Dick, Damian, and Jim head out to the island, Jim getting them through using his police clearance. Barbara and Alfred assist them from the Batcave. Damian supplies his companions with masks and they head in. Once again, they trigger sprays of mist, but remain unaffected by them. Dick uses a map supplied to them by Dr. Crane, and they work down into the lower levels.

As they travel, Damian tells them about his life before this, how his mother had been the daughter of league’s head, a man known as the Demon’s Head, and how she’d trained him in the same martial arts that Bruce knew. However, when she caught wind of what her father was planning for Gotham, and what he had done to Batman, she sent him in secret to help stop it.

As they reach the lowest levels, they find the door blocked by the Scarecrow. He doesn’t respond to anything they say, he just sits and waits. Then someone else appears behind them. Jason appears, and at first, Dick is relieved, but Damian points out a mark on his arm, and Jason reminds them how he was restored to life in the first place. He attacks them, ripping off Gordon’s mask and going for Damian’s as well. Dick blocks him and fights his brother as Scarecrow attacks from behind, gassing Gordon with a full blast of fear toxin, some of which gets through the damage to Damian’s as well.

Dick orders Damian to get Gordon out, while he holds off Jason and the Scarecrow. Damian struggles to hold his breath and get Gordon out of the mist while the toxin starts to take hold. Gordon starts to hallucinate visions of Barbara as Batgirl, taking a shot in the back, or getting knocked off a high-rise, both resulting in her falling to her death, coupled with images of her actual injuries from the Joker, his friend Harvey on the ground after being attacked by acid, and the small broken body of Jason Todd after being beaten to death by a crowbar.

Meanwhile Damian starts to see images of his grandfather, Ra’s al-Ghul, looking down at him with contempt and calling him an embarrassment and a disgrace. Then his grandfather’s face morphs into that of Bruce, saying the same thing. He cries out for his father and grandfather, when Tim and Steph appear from the mist, collecting up the both of them and pulling them out.

Back outside the ruins, Damian and Jim both come back to their senses, Tim and Steph having inoculated them with a cure for the toxin that had been finished during the night. Barbara comforts her father over their comms, while Alfred brings up what Damian had said during his hallucinations. Damian comes clean and reveals that he is Bruce’s son from his time training under the league. Damian asks how Alfred knew, and Alfred says it’s because he raised a small boy who looked nearly identical.

Down in the asylum, Dick continues to fight Jason while the Scarecrow disappears into the mist. Dick is furious with Jason, but Jason reminds him that his goals are the same as the League’s, to truly cleanse Gotham, not just wipe up after it the way they and Bruce had done all these years. Their battle becomes more and more intense, both breaking each other’s masks. Their strength starts to waver, Jason first as he starts to be overtaken by images of the Joker striking him with a crowbar over and over again. Dick starts to see the very same thing, but with every strike, Jason turns into Tim, and Steph, and Barbara, and Bruce, and Alfred. He tries to attack the imaginary Joker to no avail, and instead, grabs Jason and pulls him through the last door and into the secret lab.

Inside the lab, Dick searches for anything resembling a cure, reasoning that the Scarecrow surely has some for himself. He finds a vial and tests it on himself, finding, to his relief, that it actually does cure the toxin. He then goes to Jason and administers it to him as well. As Dick looks around the room, he sees controls for the entire prison, ten special cells, all of which are crusted with ice around the edges, all leading to a secret train tunnel.

Jason tells Dick that they’re not here, that Bruce, Selina, and the criminals were all taken to a special prison run by the league. Dick demands to know who the Scarecrow is, but Jason refuses to tell him. Dick tells him that if the League gets their way and cleanses Gotham, it won’t just be villains like Joker and Black Mask who suffer, but little street kids like the two of them were. He can’t just let it happen. Jason relents and looks up at his brother. He says, “Is it not obvious?”

Back at the Batcave, Barbara and Alfred talk with Damian, Jim, Tim, and Steph, having lost contact with Dick during his fight with Jason. They talk about how, if the League is as far-spread as Damian suggests, the Bat Cave may be the only safe place left. A familiar voice scoffs at the idea as Jonathan Crane appears. The doctor says they’ve always known about this place before gassing the both of them.

Dick and Jason re-emerge from the asylum, telling Damian, Tim, Steph, and Jim that they need to get back to the mansion, that all of this here had been a distraction. The team try to contact Barbara and Alfred, but are met only by the voice of Jonathan Crane, telling them that if they want to save their friends, they will return to the mansion immediately.

The group returns to the mansion. They say it’s likely full of the fear toxin, and Steph jokes about it becoming a literal haunted mansion. They each strap on a gas mask and enter. Dick and Jason go with Damian, and they talk to him about him being Bruce’s actual son. Damian tells them his mom had been keeping tabs on Bruce through the league all these years, so he knew all of their names and many of their adventures. Dick tells him welcome to the family.

Dr. Crane torments the team throughout the mansion, using the smoke and mist to keep his location a mystery in lieu of the toxin working. One by one, he lures them into a trap and attacks them, taking each hostage in turn. Soon enough, Dick, Jason, and Damian are left, and they find their way down to the batcave. There, Crane reveals Barbara, Alfred, Tim, Steph, and Jim, all unmasked and unconscious from fear toxin.

Crane talks to them through the computer, saying that the League had been perfectly content to leave their little team be, as they’d never pose the threat Batman himself posed, but they just couldn’t keep their noses to themselves. Dick and Jason both try to attack him and free their friends, but he ends up catching them off guard and capturing them too. Finally, only Damian remains.

Crane talks to Damian, saying he’d heard of him, the Demon Head’s little embarrassment of a grandson, surprised to learn that he’d been the Bat’s child all along. Damian creeps around, keeping Crane talking, until he can manage to track down his actual body. He attacks Crane from behind, taking him by surprise instead, but Crane holds his own, reminding Damian that he’d received League training as well. The pair duel, but in the end, Damian comes out on top, giving Crane an overdose of his own toxin.

All the rest of the Bat Family are freed and administered the cure. They question Crane on the whereabouts of Batman and the villains, and Crane admits that Ra’s took them to a special prison where they will never escape. Damian says he knows of the prison, that it’s a horror story spread around the league. Crane is handed over to Amanda Waller in ARGUS.

Damian wakes up the next morning in his father’s bed. The entire family greets him and makes him feel at home when he arrives at breakfast. As they start eating, the team begins discussing how to move forward, to save Batman and to stop the League’s plans. In a post-credits scene, we see Selina tending to Bruce inside a dark cell, Bruce clearly unable to move. The cell door opens, and the silhouette of Bane appears.

And that's our story. This one will be followed by a two-part Bat Family finale, the first focused on Bane and the prisoners locked in his prison. What do you think? Would you watch a movie like this?

[igotanidea]

Backyard : Jason Todd x stripper!reader

The plan was simple.

Get inside the strip club, gather some intel on the newest and yet already one of the most influential crime lord in Gotham and get the f out.

The last part got a bit more complicated, when Jason figured out that on this particular day, in this particular club a bachelor’s party was taking place.

Shit was not enough of a word to describe the situation he found himself in.

Should have gone dressed in his Red Hood gear instead of civilian mode.

Should have never let Dick accompany him.

Two hot guys in the club full of horny men and girl strippers trying to lead a mission.

One dying inside, the other going with the flow.

What could possibly go wrong, right?

Well while Dick was having the time of his life, Jason actually tried to focus on the task and uncovering the identity of the guy who was recently raging terror on Gotham. Tried being the key word here. Instead of pursuing the wild game he found himself being a prey rather than a hunter. A bunch of unknown girls tried to grope him, seduce him, damn, even give him a lap dance, all that making Jason’s hair stand on his head as he struggled to reach the back door and break free.

What was a torture to him, seemed to be a lot of fun to his adopted brother though.

And what was even worse, was the fact that Dick, with his charming smile and  ladies-swooning attitude, would probably end up knowing more than him and it made Jason grit his teeth and clench his fists.

“You look like you need  a smoke.”

“What I need is five minute alone”

“Well I’m sorry to break it to you pea brain, but this-” the girl, who judged by the outfit was another stripper, waved her hand around the backyard of the club “-is as close to alone as you can get here.”

Right.

As if the couple making out against a wall, going way to close to public sex, a homeless man sleeping next to the dumpster and a few shabby wild cats, tearing with their teeth something that was definitely not suitable for eating, even by animals, could be described with that word.

Jason sighed half in frustration, half in relief.

“Fuck.”

“Mhm. Yeah, close enough.” the girl agreed as her eyes landed on the man who was now drilling the woman against the wall, apparently causing her enough pleasure to let out a breathless moans.

“You’re enjoying exhibitionism?” Jason raised an eyebrow at girl’s unamused gaze.

“I’m learning new techniques.” She spit out.

“What?”

“Don’t make me say it again, pea brain.”

“Hey!”

“What? If you believed it, you truly deserve the nickname. I’m a stripper not a prostitute.”

“Is she one?” Jason pointed towards the other woman and reached to his pocket in search of a lighter and cigarettes “Fuck!’

“Nah, she’s just faking for the hell of it. Touch starved one, if you ask my opinion. Would settle for what she can get at a club like this. ”

“Do you have a fag?” Jason couldn’t care less about the answer, more focused on getting his own high and calming nerves, that was something he needed at the moment.

“I’m not sharing with a stranger.” She chuckled “seems way too intimate to me.”

“So what, you only give the guy a pipe on a third date?”

“No one got that far.”

“So you’re a stripper with a high standards?” Jason smirked

“Well. As the movies show, there are only three reason of why a girl is a stripper.”

“Don’t tell me you are a sucker for Pretty woman or another bullshit like this.”

“Nah. I’m just a working girl who has to raise a three year old illegitimate child and has no real qualifications for other job.” She send him an innocent feigned smile and tossed a pack of cigarettes his way.

“Three year old kid huh?” he caught it mid-air and lighted one up immediately exhaling deeply, when the familiar scent and flavour of nicotine filled his lungs “How old are you?”

“Rude.” She leaned on the railing “And you only proving my point.”

“Which is?”

“Pea brain.”

“Made you believe I believed that bullshit story, didn’t I?” another  cloud of smoke flew into the air, quickly joined by the other once the girl started to enjoy her own cigarette.

“Congratulations. A guy from a good house just tricked a stripper in the club. Great job, buddy.”

“What makes you think I am a guy from a good house? Maybe I’m a pervert who –“ he stopped for  a second as the sound of woman and man coming chimed into the sentence “maybe I’m a guy like this?”

The unnamed girl only smiled and shook her head causing her hair to flow around her face.

“If you were a guy like that you would just stay inside letting Candy or Chastity give you a lap dance.”

“Are those real names?”

“Pea brain.”

“Right. Sorry.” Jason chuckled involuntarily, much to his own disbelief. “What’s yours then?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Pretty much why I asked.”

“Pretty much why you run away from the inside and found yourself here.”

“How do you even get clients? You’re insufferable.”

“And I got big mouth. Comes in handy sometimes.”

Before he could stop himself he chuckled again.

Jason Peter Todd, Red Hood, adopted son of Bruce Wayne was smoking outside the strip club, with a working girl, having more fun than he ever had in his entire life.

“It’s not comedy central, stop laughing.”

“You could be a stand upper for sure.”

“Well – if you think about it, I am kind of a stand upper…”

This time Jason fully laughed and the girl couldn’t help a tiny smile on her own face.

“Jerk.” She threw his direction biting on the inside of her cheek, focusing on the cigarette rather than on the guy next to her.

“Bitch.” Jason’s reaction was immediate and completely instinctive.

Any other girl would probably take that as an offence but she was familiar with the fandom and popculture classic.

“What demon are you after, Winchester?”

“Too many of my own to go looking for more.” He sighed

“Yeah tell me about it.” She did the same and for a moment they just stood in undisturbed silence. Even the cats seemed to sense something was going on and went completely quiet.

“What’s your name?” Jason finally asked “for real, not the stripper one and not the fake one you’re probably thinking about giving me.”

“You first.”

“Oh no. I’m a gentleman. Ladies comes first.”

“Idiot.”

“Moose.”

“Stop it!” she laughed at another TV series reference

“Tell me your name.”

“Yy/n” she said finally “Happy now?”

“Rapturous.”

“Splendid. You owe me  a cigarette, now you know what girl to give it back to.”

“Sounds like you’re asking me on a second date.”

Before she got a chance to come up with some quick respond, another working girl came out the club clearly searching for y/n, giving her just one warning look before her eyes travelled to Jason and then back to y/n.

“Fine!” Y/N rolled her eyes in frustration “god damn it, there’s something like a break for fuck’s sake! What the hell is happening now? I swear one day I will burn this hell hole -” the rest of the sentence died behind the door along with the walking away girl.

Jason was finally left alone.

Truly alone.

But it felt oddly dissatisfying to smoke by himself in the dingy backyard, that suddenly became grey and empty.

Y/N.

A girl who seemed to have all the answers.

Infuriating and keeping a man on his toes since the first minute from the meeting.

And who called him pea brain.

Jason smirked to himself, while still smoking the borrowed cigarette in the empty backyard of the strip club.

Letting himself forget the mission for a moment.

don't worry people we'll get "there" ...