#JFK!Louis

[wav3y-zzz]

Robert Louis STEVENSON clone 💙 ♥️ 😍 ❤️ such a beautiful moustache

Despite being a nerd and being into English and Geography stuff, he is actually pretty popular cause he's never in and seeing him in school is like seeing a rare bird

[lovefrenchisbetter]

Office Wear

[sadaveniren]

But yes Charlie and Louis talking about the shot (sunset) not being set up was completely innocuous and definitely not related to the fact they chose this scene to shoot for a reason.

[morffyne]

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Am I going insane or is that a photo of JFK behind the bar in McRory's????

[schooltrashers]

Anti-Totalitarian Patches loved by many, hated by Commies!

So recently while I was in Grand Haven, Michigan for the Coast Guard Festival, I was wearing this jacket (pictured above), which had multiple patches on it. Many have praised it and took pictures with me.

Only a few hated on me for it, whom I suspect are Commies.

One of them who saw the American flag patch said "nice confederate flag". He was possibly trying to get a rise out of me, but he failed. He was triggered by the American flag patch and conflated it with the Confederate flag. Everyone knows the two flags are different. But this brainwashed Commie hates the American flag so much, he sees no difference between the American flag and the Confederate flag.

The other ones who hated the patches said "nice anti-Nazi patch, but we hate Nazis and Jews". They probably assumed I was a Jew. They had a pro-Palestine bumper sticker on their car. They were parked while I was walking past them. Their hate of Jews doesn't suprise me. A lot of Palestine supporters such as David Duke and Louis Farrakahn are openly antisemitic. David Duke is a white supremacist and KKK Grand Wizard. Louis Farrakahn is a black supremacist.

So the people who complimented me were more diverse, while the ones who hated my jacket are white. The majority who took pictures with me were black. A mix of people of all colors shook my hand or complimented me.

Commies are definitely antisemitic. Both Nazis and Commies aren't that different from each other, they're both totalitarian and extremists.

So Commies are essentially just left-wing Nazis. Although Nazis are left-wing themselves since they are socialists, Hitler was a proud socialist.

Antifa are just the KKK 2.0 due to their actions and being supported by DemoKKKrats. Hence why both the KKK and Antifa got away with their crimes no thanks to the DemoKKKrats in power. By the way, it was DemoKKKrats in power who teamed up with the Commies before the supposed "Party Switch". Also JFK(Democrat) hated both Nazis and Commies, he was ultimately shot by a Commie. So no, there was no party switch. These guys have not changed at all.

My patches included the following...

1) Two American flag patches

2) Anti-Nazi patch

3) Two Anti-Commie patches

4) One Anti-Antifa patch

5) One Anti-Extremist patch that has a combine symbol of Nazi and Antifa crossed out with the anti symbol layered on top of it, there's words on the patch that says "united against violent extremists". Implying that both Antifa and Nazis are extremists, which is true.

So there you have it, this is how my jacket was perceived and this is how I viewed the reactions from both good people and evil commies.

[larrywilmore]

New ep is up!

It's listener mailbag today. Thanks for all the great questions, guys!

[greenbagjosh]

26-27 May 1998 - return for a second stint in IT in Germany

Tuesday 26th May 1998

Hello everyone, Welcome to my 25th anniversary revisiting of my time in Europe in Summer 1998.  I worked at a high technology firm on a temporary job assignment, and lived in a shared apartment.  I also had the opportunity to visit some cities like - Cergy Le Haut FR - Nuremberg, Fürth, Garmisch-Partenkirchen (DE) - Scharnitz AT - Prague CZ - Salzburg AT - Berchtesgaden - Fischhausen-Neuhaus near Brecherspitz - Berlin via Fulda and Braunschweig - Frankfurt an der Oder - Slubice PL - Zürich and Chiasso CH - Milano and Bozen IT - Vienna AT - Budapest HU - Zürich (again for Street Parade 1998) - Paris - Lyon

I flew over from San Francisco through New York JFK Terminal 6 (has since been demolished), and back through St. Louis, Missouri.

Here is what I remember from the first day, Tuesday 26 May 1998, and Wednesday 27 May 1998.   Woke up about 5:30 AM, had breakfast and left the house at 6:30 AM, was taken to SFO airport by parents. Checked in luggage about 7:30 AM, said goodbye to parents, went through security in Terminal 1 (Harvey Milk Terminal), listened to The Dog House on KYLD 94.9 FM, heard Elvis Medina (radio_elvis) do a prank call on a man who owed child support payments to his soon to be ex-wife, flew to NYC JFK airport and landed about 1 PM there.

Was a bit worried that the flight would explode as it did in 1996.  I made it across the Atlantic just fine.  

Tuesday 27 May 1998 Before landing, I was able to listen to BBC Radio 1, 97 to 99 FM in the UK.  I heard "La tristessa durera" by Manic Street Preachers.  It would have been around 8 AM Paris time, when the plane would have landed.  I landed at CDG T1, took the underground travellator to customs and baggage claim. Took a shuttle bus as there was no Roissyval constructed yet (was ready by 2008 when I returned), to the RER T1 station.  I bought a Paris Visite ticket for the RER and entire RATP metro, trams and bus, even the Montmartre funicular. Took the RER from CDG T1 to Paris Gare du Nord.  At Sevran Beaudottes, the station is underground as well as CDG T2/TGV and Gare du Nord, most others were surface stations.  At Gare du Nord, the ticket was used to change to the M5, where I rode it to République, then M8 to Lédru Rollin where the Auberge Internationale des Jeunes was located, in the 11ème district.

Dropped off my luggage, then took the M8 to Nation, changed to a M9 for Croix de Chavaux.  Took a bus to Gallieni.  Took the M3 to see the Georges Pompidou building and the Stravinsky fountains.  Took metro to Montmartre (Metro station Anvers) and went up the funicular.  Came back and took the M2 from Anvers to Jaurès to ride the 7Bis metro line.  The 7Bis at the time used MF88s, quite unique for a metro.  The most advanced rolling stock was MP89, used mostly on the M1, which still had drivers long before it was automated.  Came back to Louis Blanc to ride the M7 to Opéra / Auber for the RER.  A woman was shouting on the southbound platform of the Louis Blanc M7, could not understand what she was shouting about.  I took the RER to Port Maillote, then a RER C to Champ De Mars and another RER C to Issy Val De Seine.

At Issy Val De Seine, I took a T2 the entire distance to La Défense.  The T2 was built on former Banlieu commuter rail tracks.  The only underground station was La Défense.  I exited, and looked around the complex including the Grande Arche.  The weather was not very good.  I went inside the Les Quartre Temps mall and looked for something to buy in the Auchan grocery store. I found some drinks but not much else.  

After La Defense, I took the RER A to Cergy Le Haut.  The previous year, I rode to Cergy St. Christophe, which was quite a long way from Paris.  In early October 1983, my family stayed close to the Cergy Préfecture station, so I kind of knew where I was going more or less.  One thing I noticed at Cergy Le Haut, was that there were no fare gates, unlike at other stations.  The weather was a bit friendlier by the time I visited Cergy Le Haut.

I returned to the 11ème district and looked for a place to eat supper.  I ate at Tony's Restaurant at the corner of Rue Trousseau and Rue du Faubourg.  It has since been renamed to Nakama Resto.  The owner gave me a free glass of tomato juice, with a small amount of vodka.  I think I had a four seasons pizza called "quattro stagioni", was really good.

I went to bed about 10 PM, and had to wake up in time to catch the "Mozart" Eurocity train to Munich.  More will be told in the next chapter.

Good night!  Bonne nuit!

[future-crab]

People in the US: find a protest for Rafah

I found out about my local protest too late to attend (I don't have a car and I live in an area with zero public transportation) so I thought I'd share this list of protests so that other people might be able to go to their's!

[ID:

February 12, 2024

AUSTIN, TEXAS | 5PM 1100 Congress

CHICAGO, IL | 4:30 PM Federal Plaza 230 Dearborn Ave

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON | 6 PM University of Washington Station

MANHATTAN, NY | 4 PM Union Square

SAINT LOUIS, MO | 2:30 PM @ Kirkwood Park 111 So. Geyser Rd.

February 13, 2024

SAN DIEGO, CA | 4:30 PM Federal Plaza

SAN FRANCISCO, CA | 5:30 PM Federal Building

ATLANTA, GA | 7 PM Israeli consulate

PHILADELPHIA, PA | 5:30 PM 1400 JFK Blvd

PITTSBURGH, PA | 5 PM 4100 Forbes Ave

HOUSTON, TX | 4 PM Houston City Hall

February 14, 2024

PHOENIX, AZ | 4 PM NE Corner of 7th St & McDowell Rd

WASHINGTON, DC | 2 PM Dupont Circle

February 15, 2024

AUSTIN, TX | 10 AM Austin City Hall, 301 2nd St

February 16, 2024

EAU CLAIRE, WI | 5 PM Corner of Hwy 93 and Golf Rd (Outside Hardee’s)

February 18, 2024

NEW ORLEANS, LA | 11:30 AM ARMSTRONG PARK

February 19, 2024

CHICAGO, IL | 11 AM Chicago History Museum, Children’s Fountain

February 25, 2024

SAINT PAUL, MN | 1 PM 1176 N Mississippi River Blvd, St. Paul, MN.

End ID.]

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Judy Garland (Meet Me In St. Louis, A Star is Born, Summer Stock)— Judy is the GOAT when it comes to classic movie musicals. The voice of an angel who deserved so much better than she got. She can sing she can dance she can act she's a triple threat. Though she had a turbulent personal life (her treatment as a child star by the studio system makes me mad as hell like Louis b Mayer fight me ((she was made to believe that she was physically unattractive by the constant criticism of film executives who made her feel ugly and who manipulated her onscreen appearance by capping her teeth and using discs in her nose to change its shape and Mayer called her "my little hunchback" like imagine hearing that as a child and not having damage)) she always goddamn delivered on screen and in any performance she gave. She began in vaudeville performing with her sisters and was signed to MGM at 13. Starting out in supporting parts especially paired with mickey Rooney in a bunch of films (she's the best part tbh) she eventually transferred to the lead role. She is best known for her starring role in movie musicals like the iconic Wizard of Oz (somewhere over the rainbow still hits hard and is ranked the top film song of all time), meet me in St. Louis (Judy singing have your self a merry little Christmas brings tears to the eyes she is that powerful), the Harvey girls (she looks like a technicolor dream and sings a catchy af song about trains), Easter parade ( dancing and singing with Fred Astaire), for me and my gal, the pirate, and summer stock ( with pal Gene Kelly who she helped when he was starting out and he helped her when she was struggling). But she also does non- singing just as well like the clock ( her first movie where she sings no songs and is an underrated ww2 era romance), her Oscar nominated a star is born ( like the man that got away she put her whole soul in that and I have beef with the fact she lost to grace kelly ((whom I love but like still not even her best work)), and judgement at Nuremberg (a courtroom drama about the nazi war criminal trials). Outside of film she made concert appearances to record-breaking audiences, released 8 studio albums, and had her own Emmy-nominated tv series. She was the youngest (39) and first female recipient of the Cecil B DeMille award for lifetime achievement in the film industry. Girl was a lifelong democrat and was a financial and moral supporter of many causes including the civil rights movement (she was at the March on Washington and held a press conference to protest the 16th street Baptist church bombings). She was a friend of the Kennedy family and would call jfk weekly often ending the calls by singing the first few lines of somewhere over the rainbow (she thought of them as Gemini twins).She was a member of the committee for the first amendment which was formed in response to the HUAC investigations. Though she died far too young and tragically she remains an icon for her work and her life. As a girl who didn't feel like i was as pretty as everyone else I have always felt a connection to Judy and I just really love her.

Natalie Wood (West Side Story, The Great Race)—She went through so much shit which I know can be said for all these women but Natalie really was a star and her death often overshadows her career and life. She could make you cry, but she also had the capacity to be incredibly funny which I think is lost on people.

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Natalie Wood:

Judy Garland:

Judy's voice alone qualifies her for at least top ten hottest HOT VINTAGE MOVIE WOMEN. She was a truly incredible swing singer, with a stunning voice on top of her technique. Her short dark hair looked incredible in just about any style. Have I mentioned her swagger? I can’t do it justice with words. She had swagger. She was funny as hell, and clever too. Incredibly charming and cool. I adore her.

Her eyes, her voice have bewitched me

I mean how can you beat the one and only Judy? She's beautiful, her smile is contagious, the way she sings with her whole body. You can't help but love her.

Beautiful woman, love her singing voice. And she can do everything between happy or silly and angry or heartbroken

[soath]

cannot overstate how jarring this episode is for imelda! pov: you get kidnapped at your job by an npr intern, a disgraced twenty one year old marine, louis daguerre, the woman who shot jfk, that greek billionaire jackie kennedy married afterwards, and seditionist britney spears.

[princessnamora]

How Marilyn Monroe changed Ella Fitzgerald’s life

If asked “Who played an important role in the musical career of Ella Fitzgerald?” you might respond with names like Chick Webb, Louis Armstrong, Norman Granz, and Dizzy Gillespie.

The name Marilyn Monroe (who passed away 50 years ago this August), however, might not come to mind.

While touring in the ’50s under the management of Norman Granz, Ella, like many African-American musicians at the time, faced significant adversity because of her race, especially in the Jim Crow states. Granz was a huge proponent of civil rights, and insisted that all of his musicians be treated equally at hotels and venues, regardless of race.

Despite his efforts, there were many roadblocks and hurdles put in to place, especially for some of the more popular African-American artists. Here is one story of Ella’s struggles (as written in chicagojazz.com):

Once, while in Dallas touring for the Philharmonic, a police squad irritated by Norman’s principles barged backstage to hassle the performers. They came into Ella’s dressing room, where band members Dizzy Gillespie and Illinois Jacquet were shooting dice, and arrested everyone. “They took us down,” Ella later recalled, “and then when we got there, they had the nerve to ask for an autograph.”

Across the country, black musicians, regardless of popularity, were often limited to small nightclubs, having to enter through the back of the house. Similar treatment was common at restaurants and hotels.

Enter Marilyn Monroe

During the ’50s, one of the most popular venues was Mocambo in Hollywood. Frank Sinatra made his Los Angeles debut at Mocambo in 1943, and it was frequented by the likes of Clark Gable, Charlie Chaplin, Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall and Lana Turner.

Ella Fitzgerald was not allowed to play at Mocambo because of her race. Then, one of Ella’s biggest fans made a telephone call that quite possibly changed the path of her career for good. Here, Ella tells the story of how Marilyn Monroe changed her life:

“I owe Marilyn Monroe a real debt … she personally called the owner of the Mocambo, and told him she wanted me booked immediately, and if he would do it, she would take a front table every night. She told him – and it was true, due to Marilyn’s superstar status – that the press would go wild. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. The press went overboard. After that, I never had to play a small jazz club again. She was an unusual woman – a little ahead of her times. And she didn’t know it.”

Learning from Ella

Ella had an influence on Marilyn as well. Monroe’s singing had a tendency to be overshadowed by dress-lifting gusts of wind and the flirtatious “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” not to mentions her movies and marriage to Joe DiMaggio. But years prior to the Mocambo phone call, Monroe was studying the recordings of Ella.

In fact, it was rumored that a vocal coach of Monroe instructed her to purchase Fitzgerald’s recordings of Gershwin music, and listen to it 100 times in a row.

Continued study of Ella actually turned Marilyn into a relatively solid singer for about a decade, but again became overlooked as her famous birthday tribute song to JFK in 1962 ends up being the vocal performance that is widely remembered.

Source: How Marilyn Monroe changed Ella Fitzgerald’s life – Groove Notes by KNKX

@hotvintagepoll

[usgovsummary]

January 23, 2025

POTUS:

The President spoke at the World Economic Forum. Major points from it included calling the Green New Deal the Green New Scam, calling the previous administration inept, talking about the national emergency that was declared in order to begin more oil drilling in the US, and promote manufacturing in the US. Full remarks here

Establish official federal recognition of the Lumbee Tribe of North Carolina

Made an executive order to declassify the files on the assassinations of JFK, RFK, and MLK

Called with Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and President Nayib Bukele of the Republic of El Salvador

Published five fact sheets on previous actions. Most involve AI and technology use. One regards the declassification of JFK, RFK, and MLK assassination files

More details and the actual policies can be found here

SCOTUS:

The Supreme Court did not hear any arguments or issue any decisions

U.S. District Judge John C. Coughenour blocked the birthright citizenship executive order

More information here

Congress:

47 bills and resolutions were introduced in the Senate. Several deal with abortion and immigration. Full list here

One resolution, to congratulate the Washington University in St. Louis Bears women's soccer team for winning the 2024 NCAA Division III Women's Soccer Championship, was passed by the Senate

87 bills and resolutions were introduced in the House of Representatives. Full list here

Three bills were passed in the house. The Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act, Continued Rapid Ohia Death Response Act of 2025, and Fix Our Forests Act. All still need to be passed by the Senate. More information here

The Laken Riley Act has been passed by all of Congress and will be signed by the president soon. It requires the Department of Homeland Security to jail illegal immigrants charged with theft-related crimes, assaulting law enforcement, or a crime that results in death or serious bodily injury. More information here

[loviingpedri]

let’s be tourists

My first published story here

prompt: tourist!mason x local!female-reader

mason mount and his girlfriend take a quick vacation to New York during his break. mason enjoys visiting his lover’s city.

word count: 461

warnings: minor grammar issues.

all pictures used are not owned by me <3

—> 8 am

“mason, it’s been years since i’ve been here.” you looked over at JFK in shock at the changes.

he looked at you with so much love. your face was piercing with excitement.

“funny how i’ve never visited sooner with how much you talked about it,” he laughed softly while trying to navigate his way to baggage claim. he squeezed your hand tightly in hopes of you trying not to get carried away by the upgraded airport.

“what should we even do today. i know we’re here for two weeks but there’s so much you can do in this city.” you tried to process everything that was happening at once. you passed by the gate that was the last thing you saw before leaving for england.

“check-in to our hotel is an hour, but we’ll get there on time if we take an uber after we get our bags. maybe after we can go into times square. i was also looking at tickets to the empire state building.” mason was busy looking around to find your bags, but he didn’t realize you were looking at him in pure disgust.

“mason, we’re in new york city. there is a lot of activities instead of tourist attractions,” you sighed at his decisions. “if you did want to go to times square, we could go at night. i just want to take our first day easy.”

“this is where concrete dreams are made of, no? i’m just referencing how you were when first moving into fulham. doesn’t hurt to be a tourist.” he slowly bent down to grab your light blue suitcase.

“no, it doesn’t hurt. i was thinking of breakfast right now. it’s only 8 am and i want to grab bagels before the streets are fully awake.” he nodded in agreement since the airline food wasn’t as enjoyable then expected.

————————————————————

-> 3 pm

“i wanna go to the Louis Vuitton store,” mason slowly told you while walking towards the entrance of the famous fifth avenue.

“i don’t think the store will compare to the one on bond street though. more exclusive and have a greater selection." you replied to him while admiring st patrick’s cathedral.

“says the one who won’t stop talking about this city,” he laughed while trying to fix his sunglasses with one hand, the other occupied with your fingers being intertwined. “i vote that we go to times square after your daily shopping. i would love some pictures of you on my instagram.” he shrugged slightly.

you looked down, shy at the fact he wanted to show you off. “looks like london boy knows a way to my heart. i don't mind going. i really wanna go to the line friends store."

————————————————————

-> 7 pm

masonmount added to his story

[octuscle]

Dear Chronivac Support

Is chronivac active or shut down? I'm a wealthy guy looking for some fun and adventure. There is a hot Latin poolboy in our neighborhood inspiring me to enjoy holidays as a latino. I searched the internet and found eric gustavo Oliveira as hot guy. A spring break as a latino like him would be great. I hope I can swap back later?

I recommend Chronivac Travel for this. I have a very cool offer for Cartagena. If you allow, I will put everything together for you. You don't even have to pack. You get your luggage with your boarding pass at the American counter in JFK.

The flight departs at 06:50. So, according to your habit, you will be at the airport at 05:50. But sorry, you fly low cost in economy. Fortunately for you, we have already checked you in and checked your luggage. Here are your boarding pass and your backpack. You can give me your Louis Vuitton laptop bag, you won't need it for the next two weeks.

The queue at the security check is annoying. You are used to the fast lane. But I want you to have the ultimate Latino experience. Of course, your backpack will be patted down. Grinning, the officer flips through the Spanish gay magazines. He asks you something in Spanish. You begin to regret the whole action.

Before boarding, you have just enough time to get a beer and a sandwich for the first leg to Miami. You look for your wallet. Actually, it should be in the inside pocket of your jacket. But you realize you're not wearing a jacket anymore. Shit, did you forget it at the security checkpoint? But why do you have the hip bag hanging in front of your chest? You look, there is a cheap nylon purse. With a cannabis leaf in front of the Colombian flag on it. And inside, next to your Colombian ID and driver's license, a few old dollar bills. And a credit card. Apparently your name is now Diego Gonzales. When you ask the flight attendant at boarding if you could get an upgrade, you can hardly remember the English words. The flight attendant does not understand your request, but smiles friendly and tells you in broken Spanish your row and your seat.

Fuck, the lad next to you is a real beauty. You find it hard not to look at him all the time. At some point he asks you in English, smiling, when you are already on approach, if Miami is your destination. You shake your head, show your chest and answer "I Cartagena home". He answers you "You follow me". You understood that. And you do that in Miami in the airport. With a little distance. But the splendid ass always in view. The man disappears in a toilet. You follow. The door to a stall is a little bit open. You open the door and behind it the stallion is already waiting with his pants down. You understand the command. You kneel on the dirty floor and blow the fellow. He moans a little too loud for this place. Someone rants something about gay perverts. Your seat neighbor blows his load in your face. But even that is not new for you. You lick the hard-on skillfully clean, suck off the last drop and stow the cock in his pants. Without giving you a glance, the fellow throws you a few dollar bills. And quickly leaves the toilet. Almost 50 dollars. Not bad. You would have done the blow job for free. But now you should hurry to get to your connecting flight.

On the flight to Cartagena, you'll finally get your upgrade. Crossing business class on the way to your seat, you make eye contact with a gentleman in row 2 for a little too long. And no sooner have you stowed your carry-on luggage than a flight attendant stands next to you and tells you with a wink that your uncle in row 2 invites you to spend the flight next to him. As soon as you reach cruising altitude, your newfound uncle invites you to become a member of the Mile High Club. He raises the privacy screen, activates the "do not disturb" sign. And unbuttons his pants. An upgrade to business class. And $600 in freshly printed bills. Your stock is soaring.

Home at last! Three weeks of vacation in your homeland, until you have to go back to the gringos. Where vacation means you'll be working at the Bomba Beach Club. In the service. And maybe there will be some extra income. Usually the three weeks are enough to pay your rent for half a year in New Jersey. Whereby it certainly won't be long before your mother will ask again if you wouldn't like to find yourself a nice young Colombian and be happy here.

You are already smiling at the thought. Your parents have picked you up from the airport, you have freshened up and are already wearing your work clothes. Your vacation begins with the evening shift. That is good. Then the tips are more generous. It's going to be a great three weeks! Thank you for traveling with Chronivac.

[humorisstoredinthetits]

The Heathers + Veronica go on a Road Trip

Gee don't you just love when you write out a whole long ass post only for your computer to freeze and you lose all of your writing

So this will probably be worse than my original draft, but either way this is still going to be the longest thing I've ever posted to this site

But anyway, y'all really seemed to like the Comic Con one I wrote which why, that was one of the least inspired and generic ones that I did and I had no real ideas for the actual Comic Con part, but what I did have ideas for was the trip part, so I decided to expand upon it with this

Veronica, Duke and Mac are all stressed tf out

It's not that they don't love their jobs, they do, but it gets monotonous after a while

After a while of her gfs coming home downtrodden and low-energy, Chandler starts to notice

She realizes that she needs to do something about it, and eventually settles on organizing a get-away for the four of them

They talk it over and try to decide where they would want to go

They immediately rule out any high-paced vacations, like Disney World, as well as anything that would take them out of the country, as it would be too much work to get all of their passports in order and all of that

Eventually Mac brings up that her Dad has a beach house in California that they could ask to use for a week

They agree that it sounds like a good, relaxing time, and they start making preparations

The first thing they need to get settled is their pets

It starts off easy enough, Veronica's parents are more than happy to take JFK for the week

After a little bit of discussion, Martha, Betty and JD agree to take in Munchkin the Rabbit and Cornelius the Snake

Neither Martha nor Betty were too happy about the snake, but JD thinks they're neat and says that he'll keep it in his room so they don't have to be near it

The problem comes with Heather the cat

Heather is a very needy, loud, and aggressive cat, just like the person she's named after, and neither Veronica's parents nor her friends are willing to deal with it

JD especially did not want Heather in his home, the last time they had to take care of the cat she tried to eat his hamster, Slushie

So, they are forced to find a 'pet hotel' where they can drop her off

The hotel is none too happy to deal with this cat who will most definitely cause issues, so Chandler has to slide them some extra cash to get them to cooperate

After they get that settled, they start looking into flights

However, once they mention planes, Chandler goes oh hell no and adamantly refused to fly

The others try and fail to convince her to change her mind, but it is futile and an impasse is reached

Eventually Mac suggests that they drive, which none of the others are too keen on, but she adds that they could make a road trip out of it and visit different places

This grabs their attention, and they start figuring out all the different kinds of places they would want to go on their way

Veronica suggests different historical monuments like Mt. Rushmore

Mac would like to see some national parks and just be out in nature, seeing all the different kinds of wildlife

Plus after going to Disney World she really really wants to go to Disneyland, even if they only go for a day

Duke wants to see some weird roadside attractions

She saw a youtube video once about some of them and she wants to go see them in person, she just thinks they are just hilarious

Chandler doesn't really care what they do as long as her gfs are happy, she knows she is being an inconvenience with not wanting to fly, but she was terrified when they flew to Disney World and she just can't go through that again

They leave it to Veronica to plan a route, and here's what she came up with

From Sherwood they'll drive to St. Louis, visit the Gateway Arch, spend the night, then drive to

Kansas to see Wheat Jesus, before going to Nebraska and seeing the 15 ft. fork and pasta and Lighthouse in the Middle of the US, before spending the night in Omaha

From there, they'll drive to Carhenge, before heading to Mt. Rushmore and visit it and the surrounding area and stay the night

They'll then drive to the Wall Drug Store Inc., before they'll go to Yellowstone and camp there, before seeing the Car with 2 Front Ends

From there they'll drive down to the Grand Canyon and spend the night in the hotel (Chandler refused to sleep in the Desert)

'What if theres rattlesnakes? or Scorpions? or Coyotes?'

'I'll just become friends with them'

'Mac, honey, I love you, but I don't think scorpions are capable of the concept of friendship'

'You just haven't tried hard enough'

From there they'll go to the Hoover Dam, before getting to California and heading to San Diego Zoo, where they will spend the day

They'll drive overnight to Disneyland, where they will spend the day

After they'll head to the Redwood Forest National Park, before going to San Fransisco to go over the Golden Gate Bridge and visiting Alcatraz

After all of that they will finally get to the Beach House, where they decided to spend an additional week due to how long it would take to get there

(This path might be nonsensical, but its not meant to be sensical, this is a Tumblr post, not an actual trip)

With the plans changing drastically, they had to change their preparations

Veronica's parents and friends were more than ok with watching their pets for longer

JD was especially happy to hang out with Cornelius more, like he said he just thinks snakes are cool

But the pet hotel was really upset they had to watch Heather for longer

They almost canceled the reservation, but Chandler used her Heather TM powers and told the receptionist that they were going to keep the reservation and if Heather was injured, died, went missing, or anything preventable happened, she would make it her personal mission to make sure their business closed and that every single employee involved would never work at any business better than McDonalds for the rest of their sad, miserable lives

With the business thoroughly terrified, the reservation was secure

Next came the matter of work

Chandler was obviously a housewife, and so she didn't have to get off, she just asked Martha, Betty and JD to come clean, get the mail and most importantly maintain the lawn, and of course she would compensate them for their time

Veronica was self-employed, so she also didn't need to talk to her boss

'Ms. Sawyer please, I really need this break, I've been working so hard'

'No way Veronica, you are just so amazing and great, we cannot afford to lose you for a whole month'

'But I really need to go, who will make sure my gfs don't do something stupid'

'Veronica why are you talking to yourself'

Mac worked for her Dad, so she just had to ask him, which of course he agreed to

The problem came with Duke's job

Duke worked for a legal clinic that works to get abused children away from abusive households, and she was damn good at it

That was the main issue, she was just too valuable to be gone for a whole month

She begged and pleaded but they refused to give her the time off

After talking it over with her gfs, she decided to go with the tried and true Heather way and made a threat

She realized that if she was too valuable to let go on vacation, she was also too valuable to let quit, so she told her bosses that she would do whatever work she could while on the trip, but she was going on the trip, or she would quit

Thankfully for her they decided to give her the time off, but they would be sending her the paperwork while they covered her clients

That posed a problem, because they were planning on taking Duke's Jeep, and she refuses to let anyone else drive

But she also realizes that she can't drive, enjoy the trip, do her work and rest, so she had to cut one of them out

She goes 'I don't need sleep imma bad bitch' and decides to just work while the rest sleep

Upon telling her gfs this they gave her a look and told her that under no circumstances would she be allowed to forgo sleep for work and that if she tried, they would tie her to the bed

Duke said 'That's kinky' and Chandler gave her a bap on the head

**Line Break**

After much arguing she acquiesced and agreed that she would only drive for half of it and would do the work while the others drove

With all the bs settled, they moved on to preperation

They needed to get a few things, so they headed to Target

Chandler fucking loves Target, she is such a basic white bitch

They head into the store, grabbing a cart, and before anyone can say anything Mac grabs Duke and puts her in the kiddie seat

Duke starts screaming to let her out while Veronica dies laughing

After she calms down she runs to the Pokemon card section and comes back 5 minutes later with 5 different boxes and a handful of tins and blister packs

'You have a problem Veronica'

'Shut up Heather I don't have a problem you have a problem'

'We all have many problems, but yours is a whole addiction'

While her other gfs argue, Mac runs to the squishmallow section and grabs some before running back and putting them in the cart

Veronica starts arguing how Mac and her squishmallows aren't an addiction but her pokemon cards are, and Duke chimes in that she wants out of the cart

While they argue Chandler decides to just grab another cart and leave her immature girlfriends to be childish

She heads for the medical section, grabbing first aid kits, band aids, every single kind of general cream, pill or medicine that she could conceive of needing

She then heads for the camping section, getting a tent, sleeping bags, flashlights, rope, a knife, emergency flares, compasses, a dozen different other survival gadgets and about 20 cans of bug spray

It's around this time her gfs meet up with her and upon seeing all of the crap, they try to convince her that it's not needed

However, Chandler is a worrier and argues that its just in case

She does agree to put some of the bug spray back

They then head to get snacks

They get;

Chandler - Sun Chips (The Green ones), Nature Valley Bars (Also the Green Ones), Smartfood Popcorn, Red Vines, Strawberry Pop Tarts and who can forget Corn Nuts

After they finished at Target Chandler made them drive to Costco to get a industrial size box of Corn Nuts

Duke - Fruit Gushers, Barbecue Lays, Synder's Mini Pretzels, Nutter Butters, White Chocolate Kit-Kats, Fudge Stripes, Cosmic Brownies

Mac - Goldfish (The Rainbow Ones), Regular Lays, Golden Oreos, Trail Mix, Honey Buns, Cookies & Cream Pocky, Peanut M&Ms

Veronica - Salt and Vinegar Lays, Sour Patch Kids, Airheads X-treme, Sour Cream & Onion Pringles, Hot Cheetos, Scooby-Doo Gummies

She'll only eat the Scooby-Doo ones, one time they were out so Chandler had to get some other ones and Veronica refused to even touch them

She also just likes the weirdest food, it scares her gfs sometimes, like who actually likes Salt and Vinegar Chips

Once they're done with snacks they finish up by heading to the Swimming Aisle, Mac's Dad's house also has a pool

They decide to all get those obnoxiously large pool floats

Chandler gets one of those that have a cover on the top, Duke gets the Alligator, Mac googled and found a Lapras one online so she ordered it and Veronica gets the tank one that shoots water

Upon seeing that Duke reaches to the largest water gun she can from where she is still stuck in the cart, which causes Mac to also grab one

Chandler thinks its super childish but also, rather reluctantly, grabs one as well

They spend a few more days packing enough clothes for a month long vacation (They had a long talk with Chandler that they wouldn't be able to bring enough clothes to wear something different each day and when they were done she looked like she was having a Vietnam flashback)

Veronica finalizes their route while Chandler books all of the hotels they would need and gets their Disneyland tickets

** Line Break**

Finally, at long last, the day of the trip arrived

For once Veronica didn't have to get up at the crack of dawn to make her gfs drinks, they could barely sleep with how excited they were

And of course this is where they run into their first problem

They bought too much crap, so much that even Duke's jeep can't hold it all, so obviously they're gonna have to leave some stuff behind

First to go is the Industrial Sized Box of Corn Nuts

'Like seriously Heather you cannot possibly eat all of those Corn Nuts over the course of the trip'

'Watch me bitch'

They try to take the emergency stuff but Chandler puts her foot down, saying they're going to be driving through the wilderness, going to national parks, and staying at the beach house which is in a remote area, if they get stuck or something happens they probably won't have service to call for help

No one is willing to budge on anything else, so eventually they decide to just put some stuff in the backseat and whoever is there is just gonna have to deal with it

They leave and start heading to St. Louis

Duke drives, Chandler is riding shotgun, Veronica and Mac are in the back

After about an hour the novelty wears off, Chandler is being her usual backseat driver self, Mac is trying and failing to fall asleep and is getting agitated that Duke is driving so bumpy, and Veronica is playing Pokemon Violet on her Switch and getting her ass kicked by Iono over and over again so she's getting agitated

This makes Duke more and more angry until eventually she pulls into the parking lot of a Best Buy, storms into the store, and comes back with 4 pairs of noise-canceling headphones

She gives one to each of her gfs and tells them that they're gonna put these on and shut up before she turns around and that she is not dealing with this for the entire trip

That shuts them right up

No one talks until they stop at a McDonalds right outside St. Louis to get lunch, but even then their conversations are straightforward and short

They arrive at their hotel, put their stuff down (They had each packed a quick overnight bag with the things they would need like toothbrushes, change of clothes, meds, stuff like that), and Duke decides to apologize for how she acted earlier

Her gfs accepted her apology and admitted that they could have been more considerate of her

They came to the agreement that Chandler would keep her opinions about Duke's driving to herself, Mac and Veronica wouldn't outwardly express their frustration with things, and Duke would do the same with her frustrations about them

With that potentially trip-ending fight avoided, they head to the Gateway Arch

Chandler is bored bc ewwww learning and absolutely refuses to go up the elevator to the top, despite the pleading of her gfs

They go up and have a good time, looking over the city and into the Mississipi River below, while Chandler waits impatiently for them to get down so they can go to the hotel and relax

Eventually they come down and they head back, getting to bed early so they can leave early

Then they start heading to Kansas and Wheat Jesus

Chandler takes this part, Duke sits in the back with Veronica, Mac riding in the front

Nothing happens bc they're going through Kansas, the only thing there is a bunch of corn and weird ass religious signs

'Oh look guys this sign says we're going to hell for being gay'

'We know Heather, this is the 5th sign in the past half hour that's said that'

'Hell is gonna be fuckin lit, a bunch of lesbians with whips and chains and shit, its like a BDSM party that never ends'

'Shut up Veronica'

They eventually make a game out of it, which ever one of them can find the weirdest sign before they reach the hotel gets to be the one who can shower first

After sitting in the Jeep for hours upon end, they are kinda sweaty and are ready to shower, so it becomes a competition

Even Duke, who has her headphones in and is relentlessly typing away at her laptop, takes a break and participates

Obviously Chandler's ego will not let her lose, so she looks and looks until she sees one that says "You can't hold hands with God if you're 'mass debating'" (I'm not gonna use the actual word, but you get the idea of what it said)

They then reach Wheat Jesus, which is a billboard with a picture of Jesus in a field of wheat

Duke just thinks that its so stupid, even compared to the homophobic ones that they've passed

They take a quick picture and head back on the road

They head to Nebraska, which is more of the same

They eventually reach the Fork, which is another ridiculous thing that Duke finds stupidly funny

She manages to climb to the top while her gfs yell at her to get down, but she's able to get a good pic of her before a cop comes over and yells at them

After that they head to the lighthouse

Why is there a lighthouse in the middle of the Great Plains? Nobody knows

Chandler initially refuses to climb it bc 'it was so high up' but eventually she overcomes her fear

They get to the top, and are excited to see the view

They see grass, corn, wheat, and more weird ass billboards

They take a pic and agree that the Midwest fucking sucks

They head into Omaha, check into their hotel, and Chandler bolts to the shower, not forgetting that she won their little game earlier

They sleep and the next day they start towards South Dakota

Duke takes the wheel again, with Veronica finally getting to sit in the front

They head to Carhenge, which is just Stonehenge made out of cars

This time her gfs keep an eye on the gremlin so she won't climb things again

Chandler found all of these things kinda boring, but Duke is having fun exploring the attractions and buying a souvenir from each of them

Mac was also taking pictures of everything they've done, which she says she needs to make a scrapbook when they get back

Once they're done they start heading to Mt. Rushmore

Everyone is starting to get pretty bored

They've been driving for like 3 days now and they're running out of things to keep themselves entertained

And with boredom, there comes agitation, and they all too well remember what happened a few days ago when they all got pissed at each other

To lighten the mood they try to think of something fun they can do together

Duke suggests a movie but none of them can agree on which one, which only makes them angrier, same thing when she suggests putting on some music

Eventually Veronica googles 'things to do when you're bored' and comes across Prank Calls

They think its kinda childish but who are they kidding they aren't very mature people

After a bit of discussion they decide to call JD with the story being that Chandler is upset with her gfs and wants to elope with him

They know that he would never in a million years do that so that's why they agreed

They can barely contain their giggling while Chandler calls him

'Oh JD its horrible, my gfs are such immature children, I need a real man'

'Chandler'

'And look at you, such a strong man, I know you would treat me right'

'Heather are you drunk'

'Why don't we just run away, you and me, we'll move to Montana or some shit and have a big beautiful family'

' I would rather stick my dick into a slushie, impregnate it, and raise our hybrid slush-human children before I would ever consider having a family with you'

The rest can't handle it anymore and start bursting out laughing

JD realizes that this was a prank call and threatens to keep Cornelius forever

Duke shouts noooooooo and he hangs up

That keeps their spirits up until they reach Mt. Rushmore

**Line Break**

Once they get to Mt. Rushmore they check in to their room before heading to the monument itself

There's plenty to do, but first they all go to the mountain, take a few pictures, and just look at it

Before doing anything else they head to the gift shop where they pick up a few various things like magnets, a postcard, a bobblehead set for Veronica (She just thinks its funny) before Mac lays eyes on it

It's a 4 pack with a wig of each of the presidents along with a hat for Lincoln and glasses and a mustache for Roosevelt

She shows her gfs and says they have to get this and take a picture with them wearing these

For once Chandler doesn't have a stick in her ass and agrees to do it, but only if she gets to be Washington

Veronica is Lincoln bc she's the tallest

Mac is Roosevelt bc she loves animals and that leaves Duke as Jefferson, which she isn't thrilled about, saying that he sucks

She eventually sucks it up and puts on the wig

They stand in front of the mountain and get someone to take a picture of the 4 of them, standing in front of the corresponding president

Mac is really really excited about that picture, she says it's gonna look amazing in the scrapbook

They bring the wigs back to the room before heading to the Museum

Its actually a fairly interesting museum, going over the history of the architect, why the four presidents that were chosen were chosen, and even a bit about the Native American tribes that lived there

They take a Presidential Trail Loop, which isn't very long but gives them a good view of everything

Mac even gets some pictures of the wildlife which she is overjoyed about

As it gets dark they walk the The Avenue of Flags which Veronica is freaking out over

She's also a history buff so this whole experience has been just so fascinating for her

She is really into vexillology and loves identifying all the different flags and even discovering some she's never seen before

Finally, they go around the time of year they do the Evening Lighting Ceremony, where they light up the faces of the Presidents after watching a short film about the men whose faces were immortalized in stone on this mountain

Eventually they call it a night and head to the room

When they wake up and head out Veronica is actually kinda sad to leave

She is the one driving with Mac in the front and the other two in the back

But she quickly cheers up when they reach the Wall Drug Store Inc.

Its basically a Midwest Buccees

They have plenty of picture opportunities, including with a fake Mt. Rushmore that Mac puts right next to the big one in the scrapbook, and a Jurassic Park rip-off with a T-Rex Chasing them

They do a bit of shopping, Chandler even finding some boots that are up to her impossibly high standards for clothes

Then they go to the restaurant

They have Buffalo Burgers there

Both Chandler and Mac refuse to try, but Duke and Veronica say why the hell not and order them

They actually end up liking it a lot, its kinda earthy but also sweet, which is not what they were expecting from meat

They get some homemade donuts too, which are also amazing

From there they head to Yellowstone, where instead of spending the night in a hotel, they planned on camping

Before they got there, they stopped at a Walmart (there was no nearby Target, much to Chandler's horror) to get some hotdogs and buns to cook that night

Camping required moving everything out of the back to get to the tent, medical supplies, emergency supplies, and sleeping bags, moving it all back in, and bringing all of that with them to the designated camping spot

By the time they finish all of that they are sweaty and exhausted, expect for Mac who kept in good physical shape even after graduating and finishing cheerleading

They quickly get to work setting up the tent, only to realize that none of them know how to do this

They have the instructions, but something gets lost between Duke reading it out and the other 3 following what she's saying

It takes a good 2 hours before they have a tent that doesn't fall down after 5 seconds

Once they finally get that done with, they try to start a fire

Keyword Try

They try using the fire starter that Chandler bought, it doesn't work, they try using glass to redirect sunlight, doesn't work, they even try rubbing sticks together

They are all getting super frustrated and worse, they're starving

Duke gets the idea to do all three things at once to try and start the fire

Chandler says that that's stupid, if one didn't work why would all at the same time work

But while she's yapping Mac grabs the sticks and Veronica grabs the glass

Somehow it actually works and they manage to start a fire and Chandler is just done with everything and decides to go sit in the tent and cool off

Eventually she goes out to cook the hot dogs and despite the fact she's cooking them in the middle of the woods they actually turn out decent

Once they've eaten they decide to walk around and see the nature

Yellowstone is beautiful, they just walk around, not saying a word, enjoying the serenity of nature

Mac takes the occasional picture of waterfalls or the hot springs, but besides that the only sound heard is the crunch of leaves or rocks beneath their feet

Eventually they reach the hot springs

Duke leans over to feel the heat better

And she almost falls in

She is only saved at the last second by Mac grabbing her

After that they decide to go back to camp

On the way Mac keeps a look out for wildlife

She sees buffalo, coyotes, deer, mountain goats and even a marmot

It takes all of Mac's willpower not to run up and start hugging the marmot, she can't help it they're just big fat prairie dogs

When they get back to camp they see a bear foraging around in their food

Chandler screams at the sight of it which causes the bear to notice them and start growling and swiping its claws towards them

Everyone is freaking out, they're trying to figure out how to get to their bags bc maybe they could use the bug spray to spray in its eyes until it runs away or maybe use the flare or knife

Everyone is freaking out, expect for Mac

She walks straight up to the bear, slaps it, and says 'GO AWAY' in the loudest voice she can manage

The bear just looks ashamed and slowly trods away

Her gfs are just stunned and don't say a word

They get set up for the night, getting their sleeping bags out and getting marshmallows to make smores

As they are eating they start to notice something

There are a lot of bugs

Thankfully this is something they are actually prepared for as Chandler goes into the tent and hands each of her gfs a can of bug spray

Once they spray a bit and the bugs either leave or die it's actually kinda nice

As they are eating their smores Duke suggests they tell scary stories

She says that she'll start

The story she tells is so dark and gruesome that by the time she's finished both Chandler and Veronica are shaking and Mac is hugging Chandler tight and on the verge of tears

She pretty much killed the mood with that so they put out the fire and went to bed

When they get up in the morning none of them have gotten more than a hour's sleep each

They are all exhausted and their backs hurt and want nothing more than to sleep in a real bed

But they know they have to keep moving on if they wanna stay on schedule

They quickly pack up and head out of Yellowstone

Duke drives with Veronica in the front and Chandler and Mac in the back

**Line Break**

Chandler tells Veronica that if she ever suggests going camping again she will leave her stranded in the woods

Then Veronica says that if she ever suggests it to put her in a mental institution

They eventually reach the Car with Two Front Ends

Its another silly roadside attraction which is exactly like it sounds, a car with two front ends

They take some pictures before heading back to start the drive to the Grand Canyon

They are all exhausted, they've got no real sleep and have only eaten fast food

So they decide to alter their plans a little, instead of doing the Grand Canyon today they'll relax in the room before doing it tomorrow

To do this they would have to skip the Hoover Dam, which no one is sad about but Duke

'Heather why do you even want to go there, its just a dam?'

'I know why she wants to go'

'Shut up Veronica'

'She wants to make dam jokes'

'.... Like from the Percy Jackson books?'

'Yeah'

'I should've expected that'

They get to the resort at the Canyon and rush to take a shower and relax

Of course Chandler being the princess she is insists on going first

She takes so long that the other three get fed up, go in the shower and drag her out, before deciding to just say screw it and take one together so they don't have to wait any longer

When they get out they decide to just all get in bed and cuddle while watching TV

Before that they also decide to turn the AC down to the lowest setting it can go

They pass out pretty much immediately

When they get up they quickly load their things back into the car before heading to the Canyon itself

They visit the Visitor's Center, where they watch some introductory videos and look around the exhibits

They then go to the gift shop and pick up some souvenirs

Duke spots some cowboy hats and gets an idea

She runs up behind each of her gfs and places a hat in their color on each of their heads

Chandler thinks its stupid (big surprise there) but the others like it so they get the hats

She's thankful for the hats when they start going down the trail, because the sun is blazing down on them and it is really fucking hot

They're taking a trail down to the bottom where they are gonna go whitewater rafting in the Colorado River

The entire way down Chandler is petrified that she's gonna fall or they're gonna run into a rattlesnake or something

She's so happy when they reach the bottom that she could cry

After a quick tutorial the four of them get into their raft

You would think after years of being friends, then gfs, and being a part of a clique they would be able to work together on this simple task

You would be wrong

Chandler and Mac are sitting in the front and Duke and Veronica in the back

Chandler is barking orders to everyone while Duke is telling her that she's doing it wrong and so they all start yelling at each other

The instructor is paddling over to them trying to tell them what to do but none of them can hear her over their own shouting

Eventually their raft hits a rock and it flips over

Thankfully they are all strong swimmers and so are able to get to the shore quickly and without being injured

The water was actually pretty cold so none of them were too upset

They eventually made the way back up, stopping at several spots to get different views of everything

They then get back in the car, cranking up the AC before heading to San Diego

Mac drives here, Chandler in the front and the other two in the back

They're getting closer and closer to their destination, and with that they're getting more antsy

Even with the frequent stops they've been driving for days and they just want to be there already

Veronica spent like 2 hours trying to convince Chandler to try playing Pokemon with her and Mac, but she refuses bc she has a stick in her ass and hates fun

At least that's what Veronica claims is the problem

She tries appealing to her ego, saying that the whole point of the game is about becoming better than everyone else, but to no avail

The drive to San Diego feels like an eternity, but once they see the Pacific on the horizon they realize that it was all worth it

They reach the hotel and sleep, before waking up and heading to the zoo

Mac is like a very excited child, she's running around the place and just beaming

They paid for a VIP tour, so they had a personal guide taking them around the zoo

They even got to go up close and personal with some of the animals

They let them feed the giraffes, elephants, monkeys, capybaras, penguins and so much more

Most of the animals were really chill and even let Mac hug them, which just made her so happy

When the tour was over Mac said that they were coming back one day and doing this again and was crying happy tears

They stop at the gift shop and of course she picks up a bunch of plushes

They have no room in the Jeep but that hasn't stopped them from buying stuff before

From here they head to Disneyland

They stay at the Disneyland Hotel, which is so fucking cool

It's a hotel that has a bunch of Disney history, so they spend some time looking around that the exhibits

They even have this giant wall full of old Disney merch, which they take a minute to look around and find all of the cool stuff

They then head to Downtown Disney to do some shopping

They buy some of the usual stuff, pins, plushies, a few shirts and various knick knacks

Duke buys a few more lightsabers, justifying it by saying they were on sale

They have to pull Veronica out of the Lego store before she buys the UCS Millenium Falcon

They get to bed early, because in the morning they have to deal with Drill Srgt. McNamara

She wakes up before them and yells at them to hurry hurry hurry

She does not stop they are all ready and the second they are she grabs their hands and drags them to the park enterance

They have to get done with both Disneyland and California Adventure, and if they are gonna do everything they have to hurry

Since they are staying on-property, they are able to get in 30 min early, and Mac drags them to Tommorowland and is able to get everything done there

Everything goes fine until the Nemo Submarine ride, its dark and cramped and Chandler is not a fan of it

She screams like a little bitch whenever the angler fish jumpscares them

By the time the park opens fully they are in line for the Matterhorn

The Matterhorn is one of the most bumpy rides, and by the time they get off their backs are killing them

People start flooding in to the park and wait times are going up, so Mac drags them from one part of the part to another, doing whatever has the shortest line

They go from Small World to Smuggler's Run to Jungle Cruise to Rodger Rabbit to Haunted Mansion, you get the idea

By the time they stop for lunch everyone is exhausted, except for Mac, who seems annoyed they had to stop

They've gotten about 3/4ths of the park done, and they still have California Adventure to do

They try asking Mac is they can slow down but she just laughs and says that if they slow down they won't get everything done

Veronica tries telling her that they could always come back, its not like they couldn't afford it or that their work wouldn't let them but she doesn't wanna hear it

However she does agree that she'll take the next leg of driving so they can rest while they head to Redwood National Park

That sounds like a fair compromise to them so they keep heading out

They quickly wrap up Disneyland and head to California Adventure

There less rides there, so they can afford to go a little bit slower

** Line Break **

On the Little Mermaid Dark Ride, they had to cram themselves into a single clam which was super uncomfortable but it was worth it when they got to the 'Kiss the Girl' scene and they all kissed each other

They head to the Spider-man ride, which requires the rider to shoot webs by making the Spider-man web shooter gesture and moving it back and forth

Their hands were cramping so badly when they got off

Duke won and was gloating which obviously pissed off Chandler, which causes her to drag her to the Toy Story ride to get revenge

Chandler does end up winning that round, so she declares that they are even

Eventually they finish all the rides and decide to get dinner

They go to Flo's Cafe in Cars Land, where they see the best menu item ever

Its the Ka-Cheeseburger, like Lightning McQueen's catchphrase Ka-Chow

They all think that it is just the funniest thing ever, so they all get one, plus a Piston Cup cup

Once they finish their dinner (it was just alright) they head back to Disneyland to watch Fantasmic! and finish up shopping

They head to bed, pack up, and head on the road

Mac drives while the others sleep, exhausted by the previous day's events

She wakes them up once they reach the forest

The main reason they came was because they filmed Endor there in Return of the Jedi, so after walking around the trail for a few hours, admiring the giant trees, they find the exact spot they filmed some scenes in the movie and take pictures, using the lightsabers that Duke bought at Disneyland as props

After they finish up (and of course grabbing some souvenirs) they head back towards San Fransisco

They drive over the Golden Gate Bridge, which isn't anything special besides the fact that it is the Golden Gate Bridge

Compared to everything else they've seen and done over the trip a random Bridge is probably the least interesting

They then do the final thing of the road trip, which is going tour Alcatraz

They get on the ferry and start the tour

Its actually pretty interesting, even Chandler finds it entertaining

After the tour is over they have a little while to look around on their own

They go to some of the cells and start taking pictures

They pass by a random cell and Duke decides to play a prank

She nudges Chandler and says that she saw something weird in that cell over there

Chandler goes to take a look and Duke closes the door behind her

Upon realizing that she was trapped she starts screaming at Duke to let her out while Duke just laughs her ass off

'You've been a bad bad girl Heather, and now its time for your punishment'

'DUKE THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR SEXY TIMES LET ME OUT'

'Only if you say the magic wordddd'

'Please?'

'Noooo, you know what it is'

'I'm not saying that'

'Say it or you're staying in there'

'....Duke is the most goregous, most sexy, smartest, prettiest Heather there is'

'And?'

'and she is much better than me at Toy Story Mania'

After that incident they take the ferry back and start the final leg to the journey, to the beach house

They actually have to circle back towards Los Angeles as the beach house is farther south, but eventually they arrive at the house

Its rather isolated, the nearest house is a few miles away

It's on the seafront, with a spacious beach area in the front of it

It's a two-story modern-styled house, complete with a pool, game room, and movie room with a 98in TV

They quickly unloaded everything, before driving out to Target to grab food to make for the next two weeks, before

Their first day at the house they spend in bed

The past week of constant travel and doing things has exhausted them beyond belief, more than they ever thought possible

Chandler doesn't even feel like cooking, they just DoorDash Chinese food

Once they've rested and can feel their feet again, they start doing things

Their days go generally like this;

They sleep in until around 9ish

While her gfs shower, Veronica makes their coffee/tea, and after they are done Veronica takes her shower

They put on their bikinis and head down to the beach

Chandler generally doesn't go in the water, she spends most of her time catching up on some reading and sunbathing

Duke and Veronica picked up some Boogie Boards when they went to Target, and take some time trying to surf

Trying is the key word there, they aren't very good at it, but they have fun with it

Mac alternates between swimming and building sand castles

She spent a lot of the ride watching Youtube videos on people building them, and she was inspired

She also collects sea shells to put in her scrapbook

Around lunch time they'll go back inside while Chandler cooks

She's been trying some new recipes and while they aren't all hitters, she's having fun trying new things out

After that they'll take a nap before doing something in the afternoon

Sometimes they'll take a dip in the pool, which has a slide

Duke will wait at the top of the slide until someone on the float passes by, and then she'll quickly slide down and land on top of them

Other times they'll get out the water guns and start shooting each other

If they don't go to the pool they might head to the game room

They have a bunch of board games

They play some Trivial Pursuit, which Veronica wins handily, or Monopoly, which they end up having to abandon because Chandler and Duke are getting competitive again

They also have some video games

As soon as she sees Mario Party Veronica grabs it and hides it somewhere upstairs

They are not having a repeat of the Mario Party Incident

They play Jackbox Party, which causes Duke to laugh so hard that her sides start to cramp

If not games, then they go to the movie room and watch some movies

Mac's dad has both a large collection of DVDs and a bunch of streaming services, so they have essentially unlimited options

There's a pull-out couch that they use to lay down on, and they cuddle while watching things

At night they'll get some wine and go sit on the beach, just watching the sunset and enjoying each other's company , before calling it a night

They stay this way for two weeks, just relaxing without a care in the world, until the day comes that they need to pack up and go

It takes forever to get everything to fit, bc they bought just so much crap

They manage to get it all to fit, but whoever is in the backseat is gonna need to sit on someone else's lap

Its illegal but who cares

As they're finishing up Mac says that she's gonna go take a quick walk on the beach

She comes back 5 min later upset, saying that she dropped one of her earrings

Her gfs rush to come help her

Mac suggests that they dig through the sand to try and find it

While they are digging Duke finds something

Its not Mac's earring, its a small chest

Confused, she opens it, only to see 4 smaller boxes, one red, one yellow, one green and one blue

The three of them look at Mac, who is struggling not to smile, as she hands Chandler the red box, Veronica the blue box, and Duke the green box, before grabbing the yellow box herself

She tells them about how her life has been changed because of them, and how its improved in every conceivable way

She further says that without them, she doesn't know where or even who she would be, and that she wouldn't want to be anyone else than who she is right now, and that she has them to thank for it

She then says that she cannot see a life without them, and that she doesn't even want to imagine it and thats why she wants to make it permanent

** Line Break**

After she says this she gets down on her knee and tells them to open their boxes, revealing a ring in each one

Each ring is ornate, containing Heather flowers and roses with a diamond at the center, obviously in each of their respective colors

She then asks the question;

"Will you marry me?"

They're all crying, and they all pull each other into a group hug before saying that they will

So they leave the beach house, a ring on each of their fingers

They get home, and Mac gets started on the scrapbook of their trip

She works day and night in-between work and spending time with her fiancees

Eventually she gets to the last page, with a picture of the four of them on the beach, and another picture of their rings

She writes the word 'girlfriends' next to it, before grabbing a red sharpie, x-ing it out, and writing another word before circling it in green

The word is Wives

The final word count of this is somewhere around 25k words, so jesus christ I wrote a lot

If you read all of this you are awesome and I hope you enjoyed this