#Its Whatever tho. u know how it is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

powerline-angel · 3 months ago

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cannot even convey how abnormal im feeling rn

#and im being forced to hang out w ppl. and eat. and i think i might end up on the news #god and i have to go downstairs. downstairs is the me killer #I HAVE GOT TO LIVE ALONE. my ocd cannot take living w tbis many ppl #everything is so fucking g. dirty #and touching things kind of makes me wanna die #<- guy who does not have the insurance 4 the php program they want her to do♥️#Its Whatever tho. u know how it is #clem.txt #php program is grammatically incorrect. the 2nd p is for program #I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!!

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hinamie · 4 months ago

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the new jjk cafe fits have been living in my head . no thoughts except yuuji in a letterman

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #itafushi #fushiita #yuji itadori #fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #havent had yuuji fight me this hard in a MINUTE omg far left took forever i redrew his face and hair like 10 times minimum #he looks good now but like rly yuuji i thought we were past this i thought we were cool :((((#i put Hand On Thigh and this is how u repay me.....#sighs #whatever this took a million years longer than it should but im finally happy with it im finally done ths all that matters #i dont know what yuuji's pants look like in the official art but i ripped them as a treat fr me :)#ik theyre probably just regular jeans but i think yuuji deserves to show a lil knee #real talk tho yuuji's fit is so so good i love it so much. megumi i am ehhhhhh but it's on brand fr him #plus i like that they dress him like he's canonically cold all the time lmao yuuji in a light sweater n megumi in a thermal and puffer coat #its what they deserve

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 2 months ago

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#helllloooo alll. I thought it'd be perfect to come back today #today is my bdayyy yaaay. ✨#its one of those melancholic ones #when u ponder your existence #but its okay #watched ai no wakusei since it was made in 2004 like me 😔💔#btw #i hope ill be able to ne more active here again #ive just been really busy w school n life and my mental health went 20000 steps down so yes. i hope itll just get better #this bday is always bittersweet #well since its the 19th #itll always be #honestly ive been avoiding subrosa even until now cuz my mental health is so shit i cant even imagine how subrosa will make me feel. but im #on it. i honestly miss all of u guys so much. ye probably not many of u care but still #i like this place. it feels somewhat like home. even tho i still feel out of place sometimes its still comforting being here. whatever lol #havent yapped in a while so im vomiting words. love you all. im hoping the depressive episode will leave my ass finally.#u know its bad when u havent watched bt lives since around mid november #but its okay ai no wakusei somewhat healed me. so im hoping for the best now (says this every month and ends up worse)#yeah.#🥰#buck tick #atsushi sakurai #ameoto ha Chopin no Shirabe #even if i cant come back yet im thinking abt all of u n love u. take care of yourselves and yes. do stuff you love. smell roses. look at th #moon that's been soooo beautiful lately 🥺 love #Spotify

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bacchuschucklefuck · 9 months ago

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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

#not art #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit #kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it #until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it #until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her #but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs #she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying #probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone #lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear #Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked #but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now #yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc #man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet #and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out #lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help #it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around #but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever #its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous #its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot #yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry #doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it #ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking

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harbingersecho · 10 months ago

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grif's surgery but just a little more... obvious?

I actually rly rly ADORE frankengrif but I don't have an in-show reason why he'd have extensive long-term allogeneic skingrafts on his face 😔

#rvb #red vs blue #dexter grif #grif #*24 #mine #art #cw wounds #Look I love biology stuff like this so I like researching what would be at least semi-plausible even if it's just for a dumb halo show that #makes 0 sense where CPR cures a headshot but i cant help it!!! and like the 'lazy' reason for it would be sarge is just crazy like that but #its not a good reason imo. and like the things he lists needing replacement are mostly internal and body parts which makes sense #considering how grif got injured by sheila like I could 100% see that rupturing organs and crushing his hand and there being burns etc #but like nothing points to grif needing any surgery above the neck and i dont think anyone mentions his face being different? i could #make up injuries for him but nothing in the show actually supports that he'd need grafts for anything but his body..#I'm SOO ready to be convinced otherwise btw like I said I want an obvious frankengrif to be true so bad !!#AGH would it be too insane of me to make like a surgery/injury overview thing for grif just so i can convince myself abt this idea...#i can bend to some fun stuff tho im not a total joykill u know! thats why i give his body the mismatched donor skin look despite allogeneic #grafts not being permanent w/ current tech. like it really doesn't matter if it's realistic or whatever but also Yes It Does.#and like during/after chorus would grey offer to 'fix' it? i imagine the feds could mesh a skin so they could use grif's own skin..#or like during rats nest when they got reassigned?

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every-sanji · 5 months ago

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#one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #everysanji #summit war saga #ch553 #ft. luffy #ft. zoro #ft. nami #ft. usopp #ft. chopper #ft. robin #ft. franky #ft. brook #thinking abt that one blog that is kinda going around rn does it hate/love women or whatever #and even tho as of queueing this i havent seen op on there i dont think you could do a hard and fast yes or no for op #since i think there are a number of women that are loved by the series and oda does actually give women diverse body types #and not all of the good women are stereotypically attractive (lola and charlotte come to mind whenever i think about this)#and a lot of the women do have established goals and wants and needs that are validated through the narrative #even pudding is a well written character tbh <- needs to reread wci dont ask me to go into details quite yet #but then you look at some of the other character designs. and how some characters do just fall flat #or arent well written. given that its such a long series though that is so expected and it holds up a lot better than say...#naruto. or bleach. in this regard but i wish we did get more fights with nami and robin sometimes u know.#i do really enjoy the ones we get and i'm excited to get back to wano for robin's fight with black maria #bc i did see some screencaps from that and ik fights arent the only thing to showcase a character's worth #but this is a shounen series so to some extent fights are a staple of the genre.#idk where im going with this its 10pm for me and i'm very tired t-t #i'm so lighthoused out. and they're redoing the roof on my house this week which is so augh

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lemongogo · 1 month ago

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need 2 find myself again in 2025 . tbhwu

#depression has hollowed me out in2 a shell of my former self #and i thmk i need 2 grit my teeth and just get over It whatever It is #recognizing its no easy task but also knowing i cant keep on like this #and allowing myself to spiral into misery thereby preventing any possible change or growth #sigh …. sogh .. i want 2 be a person again . picture friends circa 2008 outlining me in chalk. i want 2 know theres something there #how u ask (me asking myself)#idk but one way or anotjer . and not in that new yrs resolution fallacy way #anyways . anyways z . crazy how a week off from work will leave u feeling real again #i gotta get out of there . step 1😭🙏🙏#its especially hard when everyone arnd you is objectively doing better. partners finances purpose . >staring in2 the camera 1000 yd stare #u get thru the beast of being a teenager like thank god thats over and then b4 you even catch ur breath #your mid 20s are casting a shadow over u like some menacing thing and u have to gulp and say hes right behind me isnt he #i think people often like to give the advice that youll figure it out but it leaves me feeling so disquieted #bc its like sure im sure i will ive made it this far i can do what i need to get by when the moment matters #but it does nothing to assauge the immediate anxiety and feelings of worthlessness and lack of direction yk #goddmanit assuage i spelled it wrong everyone point and laugh #bc its like what if i dont and i mean that in a very like . existential & not material way . idk what im saying but i think thats the advice #i hate most . not sure if u have felt or do feel the same . -__- like yes oersonal experience sure whatever happens will happen and you will #simply adjust but will i ever feel like its something i want to experience/endure .#whatever anyways x2. im journalling i think that helps me the best rn . and its the one thing thats allowed me hope and i think #having that time to examine and mull over and deconstruct is rly helpful tbh. and i would like to think #over the long term i can repair my creativity and cultivate a new outlet that doesnt leave me feeling empty if i cant draw as i used to #yaar #i feel like i dont write for very long tho thats the one thing that kinda blows #two pages maybe and ive only addressed two maybe three points if im being generous lol i get so bored with the actual motion #when my mind moves 10x as fast . and idc for audio logs either ykwim.#ohh tumblr how i love u . tag system like no other

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kenmaiii · 4 months ago

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how is your game dev going:O

hi hi! ^-^/ it's tedious time-consuming work but thinking about The OCs™ I lovingly made and people maybe liking them all one day is what drives me when i get lazy or wonder why im doing this fr.

honestly i always want to talk about em here, but there's a part of me that doesnt want to spoil too much or 'ruin' the surprise for others yknow?

i do have a gamedev account. i nvr shared it cuz i got shy, but for those that want little peeks and updates here and there youre free to follow -> @kendev

but overall there's been pretty good progress on art and writing. been trying to focus more-so on the writing for a good while though, it's hard when you get distracted easy and lack discipline </3 </3 </3 but its getting there!

better to try than not :] ty for the ask

#kenmail #honestly i havent posted much there in a long time. its mainly little doodles or textposts i think fit characters #with the occasional devlog or character sprite/color testing #the separate blog is bcuz idk how much constant updates and stuff would bug ppl here #like yeah i get it. its my account i can post whatever! but there are some excited abt the game who want to go in somewhat blind #so i was trying to consider that. like 'hm ok. ill just make an account dedicated to The Work and snippets' yknow #that way people have the choice to view it if they want. or even mute the blog i suppose.#besides i wanna make more games in the future!! i figure its best for general branding. keep all the games under one catalogue kinda(?)#like yay follow this account for xyz updates. u-u probably gonna have to be a name change in the future tho maybe?#unless i make a separate blog again 🤔 so many accounts tho it sounds like more work so who knows....

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termagax · 6 months ago

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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean #so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him #a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww #i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now #but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting #so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3 #and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that #so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it #anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of #doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes #all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups #(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really #tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze #i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time #but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it #will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy #would be. and i cant do that for him #again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go #'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad #ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not #because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience #to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever #because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it #^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows #idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster #about it and i want it so bad

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puhpandas · 9 months ago

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what do u guys think the hw2 dlc is gonna be about

#bc like maybe its just me personally but im so sure that hw2 was about cassie getting taken over by vanny #but they just didnt tell it very well #i know that dreadbear gave us vanny and the pizzaplex as a first little look at security breach before the long wait #do u guys think theyre gonna repeat that and try again with another free roam after the dlc #man i would love another free roam from them but like... the wait...#and also no telling how long we'd have to wait for 3 star fam screentime AGAIN if they dont tell us anything about them in the DLC #obviously i dont care about only them but like its been a long time #even ruin only gave us tiny crumbs #its still been 2 years since theyve been focused on #i just dont want that to turn into 3 or even 4😔#im excited for whatever theyre gonna do #but at the same time even tho i love cassie 3 games focusing on her in a row would be kinda tiring #as a fan of characters who desperately need screentime #pandas.txt #pre hw2 dlc

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 4 months ago

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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him #I always knew he was a parental figure for me #but now I connected the dots #How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life #that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so #and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life #ofc ud become attached #i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him #he occupies most of my thoughts honestly #But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life #i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an #bloom and be free #and that's what ill try to do #but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness #its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired #somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea #how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi #g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if #lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways #sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay #yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le #go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk #how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate #my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t #me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol #so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest #y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t #ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti #ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd

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lazaruspiss · 9 days ago

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me, walking across a parking lot, upon feeling the rumbling of a train that goes by the side of the neighborhood opposite of where i am, by which i mean it isnt really near me at all: I Need To Leave Fast Before It Hits Me

#ramble tag #making a Post so i can go 'thats not happening' u know how it is #i was seriously going 'i dont want to die' and felt like i wanted to panic-laugh like the fuck is that about #this feels like a Symptom but its whatever #ill write a fanfic about it or smth. cheaper than therapy and it even helps most of the time #more than i can say about some therapists lol #tho i should sleep #ppl r always like 'sleep helps!' and sort of but its like #it sounds like for them it means they go to sleep w bad feel and wake up without it #often i still have the bad feel when i wake up #but being asleep means im not feeling the bad feel u know #like if u go to sleep sick u prolly wake up sick but all the time u spent asleep was time u spent not feeling sick #does that make any sense lol #im taking Extra melatonin 2nite #gonna drift off to thoughts of the fic ive been working on thats apparently far closer to personal than anticipated #me experiencing a mild delusion: this is just like that fic i was writing earlier about blorbo...#my cat is cute btw just thought u should know

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fuzzbuns · 10 months ago

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Arlecchino discourse is really awkward because both sides are so convinced they are right and that the other side just lacks media literacy but 9 times out of 10 the take in question is also wrong and it leaves me scratching my head a little bit….

#fuzzy rambles #like either they are like ‘no she is bad and doesnt care for the kids at all’ or its ‘she is good actually and does care for the kids’#and for me its like… damn…. its actually a little more complicated than that but ok ig #saw someone say she doesnt care for freminet or lynette she just uses them as pawns for lyney to be her heir #which is so incorrect on almost every level #it’s basically a self report that they dont know freminet or lynettes relationship with arlecchino #like i think we can agree raising child solider is problematic or whatever while not painting everything she does as master manipulation #like the things ppl claim are just her 5000 level iq manipulation… rolling my eyes it doesnt even make sense #but at the same time she obviously isnt a saint who has everyones best interests in mind because they are still childe soliders #even tho things got better when she took control there is still a lot of cultish and cruel behaviors the kids get drilled into them #tho honestly the whole fatui is like that look at any of the recurits who arent from the orphanage and they are equally brainwashed #if not us than who or whatever (girl who thinks about what happened in the chasm and want to eat drywall)#idk. dont yall have parents? like u can love and care for a child and still suck as a parent #you can try to not become ur abusive mother and still turn into a monster of sorts #ignore the childe instead of child its literally muscle memory how embarrassing

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arellas · 2 months ago

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kana and akane and also the memory of aqua that pervades every act have sex (eventually) (in the next chapter)

#for now theres just angst tho #oshi no ko #this fic is my final exorcism of the manga from my brain and now i will live my life unencumbered #by whatever that ending was and also whatever happened before that ending.#i am considering a taikikana fic also though #i literally think its so important for kana to have angsty sex with everyone she can see a shadow of aqua in #thats how u know its true love!!

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ranvwoop · 2 months ago

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i try to avoid my acc being Just vntposting . in this world. but man is it going

#vwoop.noises #rest of tags is a lil heavy one #I am just so like. baseline unhappy with my life #and i can't be distracted all the time because like A) I have to be a person and B) World Cannot Revolve Around Me #and even a bit of those distractions have been Also caked in misery bc i am. difficult #so like what even is the point #And then. school .#did not go to my exams. my parents are mad and sayign i can't take a semester off because this was my write off and its like. NO. NOT REALL #they do not care how much of a mental breakdown i have visibly because they do not believe anything I have Not had any sort of rest .#and also like. they have their own problems. but one of these problems is telling me i wouldn't Really act like this #bc. and i really do like. wish that ppl would get help but we've tried but. over the last couple years my mom has believed that things #have been replaced / altered. and constantly brings up like. Oh yr dad NEVER ate pizza before :/ / you would've never said that / etc #Which like. it's such a genuine mental health thing like I deeply fully understand but I've been the only one taking it on and I am like.#21yo and very useless. And Also She's Mean 2 Me Now. I don't know what to do /shrug #And that's my storey . Kind of why it's been a constant stream of negativity we are doing :heart: Bad #like a year and a half ago: haha it's okay i'll just lock in next semester #the horrors: Hello. You are never doing an assignment again #sorry for the lore drop . thx if youve read this far idc if not. it's nice to get off my chest for real.#i gotta. make something soon idk #i can pretend that it will fix me :D #i am doing okay for the record uhhh we persist or whatever. if u are concerned of my absence my other blogs r in my pinned :]#I am still chronically online believe this. this is just my original posts blog. n mncrft sometimes still #after typing this out i left it on my puter to go search for food #and i had a huge rant sesh with my brother and this did kinda fix me ngl . Still posting tho.

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itsalwaysdark · 2 months ago

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applied to get the new card yayyyyy and also did my math practice test

#i forgot how dumb math makes me feel esp now that i dont have any of the formulas memorized... completely forgot the quadratic equation even #existed or what its for so i feel very dumb #there is a little like. thing that shows u the formulasbut again i forgot what the quadratic equation was for so i didnt know to use it and #whatever. the only equation i can ever remember is a^2+b^2=c^2 to find the length of the side of a triangle....... only right triangles ?#i think.#and c is the hypotenuse of course #i used to love trig idr any of it tho. i just liked the little sheet they gave us with the little like sin cos tan shit with the like #0.48247528 or whatever. loved it

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