#its not a good reason imo. and like the things he lists needing replacement are mostly internal and body parts which makes sense

[harbingersecho]

grif's surgery but just a little more... obvious?

I actually rly rly ADORE frankengrif but I don't have an in-show reason why he'd have extensive long-term allogeneic skingrafts on his face 😔

[narwhalandchill]

(4.6 beta changes) (again) (guys this is so long im just. many thoughts and me thinking out loud abt arle and my pulling plans. & other nonsense etc. my bad)

ooookay so yeah def glad i didnt jump the gun and attempt some sorta "is this a buff or not" feelscrafting nonsense on arles adjustments jkwjkwdjkwdjkwdkjjk and waited for TC (mostly zajef lmao) analysis and opinion on the real changes that ended up happening

anyway so like. it appears to be an universal buff for her p much? but how big of a buff it ends up being depends on some mechanics we still dont have a definite answer as to how they function (mostly how her BoL stacking from E works during the ECAQECA reset thing, if it enables 140% total stacking = massive dmg buff overall)

firstly my fears of her becoming too ult dependent for overworld appear to be? not as bad as i thought? so thats nice at least very pog like if she can do her thing decently enough just for fun running around thats very good

secondly. the ER situation is literally on a 50-50 😭 because its all about whether she has particle ICD on her E. if she doesnt, thats actually like. 0 ER needed or at the very least incredibly little of it. if there is particle ICD. well. thats going to be another story

the way her rotations have changed now seem to gear her towards overload teams with chevy? since they have very long rotations and characters like fischl and yae can have full uptime over those whereas vape teams lose hydro application from yelan or XQ and buff uptime from characters like bennett over time when a rotation stretches past 24s

like from what ive been reading it seems to be a pretty common sentiment that these buffs will make the biggest impact in chevy overload teams specifically (even tho shes obvi buffed just in general in all teams) for that reason and that chevy teams Especially w her at c6 with arle should be the best bennettless teams ultimately. which is definitely an interesting turn ?

(and this isnt all of the changes btw im just talking abt the ones that matter most for my considerations rn)

anyway. my thoughts then.

so im obviously glad the changes turned out to be buffs so far. but. theres still stuff im a bit. ehhhhhhhh on

firstly the survivability situation (which in turn leads back to the teambuilding issues). bc her self heal did get nerfed. so arles no longer going to be able to risk taking very high dmg during a rotation and dragging herself back to full once the next one starts. which to me feels like an emphasis on dmg mitigation for her and shielding.

(not to even get started on the. spam NAs to reduce her now 30s E cooldown so its up in time for the next rotation meaning you Do Not want to be staggered and tossed out of her attack string. and gee would you look at that! neuvillette level interruption res on c1 now! great!!)

(like again. to be clear. its hard to say exactly how much interruptions to her NA spam will end up fucking her over. i could just be overtly wary about how bad it might feel. but at its worst. with enemies that run away from u or go invincible. or stunlock you. the fact that it will at least heavily risk arles ability to reduce her E cooldown the amount she needs for fluid rotations. could definitely end up feeling like shit to play in practice without that interruption resistance. be it from c1 or a shied)

but then if we go back to her synergies and look at. those more interesting (imo) chevy teams that should perform well even without bennett. like arle/chevy/fischl/yae. whos keeping ur arle from dying there 😭 its giving lyney spreadsheet impact vs actual reality trying to play him without a shield 😭😭 guess we know who he got it from...

and yea could replace yae for beidou for damage reduction but her dmg will TANK in single target. as a whole. defensive options list in pyro/electro units only just isnt that good. beidous the one who tanks team dps the least as long as ur in AoE, but outside of that its just. thoma and dehya. and they will 100% tank the team dps

whereas defensive options like zhongli to me feel like they will just end up w her teams just wanting to lean towards that. traditional vape and mono pyro angle. bennett and kazuha and yelan/XQ. the usual stuff. and shes not getting benny and kazuha from childe so we have an issue 💀💀

unironically i will prolly be looking for some double geo zhongli/chiori/yelan vape team calcs for arlecchino (hope someone makes them. all double geo team calcs ive seen so far assume bennett 😭) just out of curiosity in terms of. how much worse it is than her best teams. bc if i can just slap her in that setup its a big bonus to how flexibly i could use her but eh. prolly will end up weaker than any chiorinavia nation core i could play so who knows

but. all this yapping and im only now getting to the point JSWJKDWJKWDJK so. heres the BIG problem

i dont have a single fucking chevrolet 💀 but i do have like 38 pity on a guarantee.

and like people are suggesting that maybe chevy will be on arles banner and fair, especially with these new beta changes incentivizing arle chevy teams way more than before, it would definitely make sense for hoyo to put chevy with her. and i definitely am overall a fan of this possible chevy overload team direction for arle (anything thats not bennett for father. ANYTHING) so id love for that to be the case

but. thats not guaranteed at all. and the same sentiment i had over arlecchinos hypothetical best support in the form of the pyro archon (or honestly. with the lack of electro shielders for chevy teams even clorinde could end up being that missing piece) where id almost rather wait to guarantee that synergistic unit before getting arle herself on a rerun. actually applies to chevy here too. even just a c0 one

and like. yes. if i spend that guarantee now on c2 chiori. and it turns out chevy is indeed featured with arlecchino. i will Not be able to guarantee her anymore - ill get one 50-50 and all the chances for a few solid chevy copies on the way but thats it.

however. the other scenario here is that arle does NOT get chevy. she gets fucking. kaveh noelle mika. and then chevy is going to rerun with like. idk. random banner. clorinde who may or may not have synergy with arle

...and im not really sure if id even want to pick arle up on that guarantee from that sort of banner SJKDKJADJKDJK but ok id skip her. buuut im still sitting on a guarantee i might not want to use on a character i feel just eh abt. but who might be with chevy (and like. i do pull for 4* when im on a 50-50 and low pity, idm the early. so as long as thats the case i can see myself tossing a few pulls at Any chevy banner in the future).

... which brings us back to. okay yeah saving the guarantee for clorinde IF chevy isnt with arle and IF shes an electro shielder sub dps support for those arle chevy teams. and getting arle on rerun as ive considered. doesnt sound that bad. but clorinde might also Not be that. uncertainty uncertainty.

like im fairly sure clorinde Will be an unit i wont mind pulling at 17 pity xianyun style on a 50-50 no matter what. but if shes not that mythical arle BiS support she prolly wont be worth that guarantee is my whole complex here lmao

whereas. c2 chiori. isnt an uncertain factor here. like im investing in her im getting her c6 eventually, c2 is like almost 25% personal dps increase (also my husk pieces LOVE rolling ER so itd actually be useful) it feels like the "safe" option in a sense ya know???

like. yes id leave arlecchino up to a coin toss . (Jail for jen!! fake lesbian!!!) but id also be left with the option of skipping her banner (if no chevy rateup to be clear) in favor of seeing whether she gains any synergistic units in the future and seeing how the various aspects of her kit that i do somewhat worry about end up panning out ?? and i think. id be fine with that ? Over the alternative

ultimately tho. im super happy arle got overall buffed and that at least some of my fears abt her kit changes were indeed unfounded, but some concerns still remain. its kinda wild and still sad to me that she went from an absolute 100% must pull character just bc its Her to like. curse of pyro on fielder idk if i Need this right now 😔😔 but i Will be getting her eventually!! no matter what

anyway have a sticker if u stuck around for all of my bullshit. this is literally just arle buff thoughts into gacha pulls stream of consciousness rambling 😭😭😭

[sonneillonv]

There are a number of watsonian reasons for this, IMO.

First... Garak is SO MUCH BETTER than Dukat. If Sisko needs a communication line to Cardassia, open OR illicit, he would SO MUCH RATHER go talk to Garak than use Dukat's comm code. If he needs to pass a message, or if he needs to wheedle some info, if he needs to better understand the default Cardassian political/military/economic position on some recent fuckery, he can invite Garak to chat over tea at the replimat. Yes, Garak will couch everything he says in riddles and half-truths. Yes, he will insist everything he says should be taken with a shaker of salt because he's just a simple tailor. Yes, that can be a little frustrating. But the mere prospect of opening a conversation with Gul Dukat, which will of course result in Dukat physically coming to the station so he can stuck his actual nose into everything, is 1000x worse.

Second... they know who Garak is. As spies go, Garak is scintillatingly obvious. Even denying that he's a spy is basically a game he and the rest of DS9's population have quietly agreed to play, because if there's going to be Cardassian spies on DS9 (which there are, this is a non-negotiable political reality and everyone knows it), both Sisko and Kira would much rather know who that spy is and be able to keep an eye on them. Garak is a known element; for the most part, as long as everyone behaves respectfully and plays the game, he spends most of his time quietly sewing and trying to seduce Bashir. And that is very manageable spy behavior, tbh. Like, it could be SO much worse than this fabulous lizard in his equivalent late-40s who loves gardening and fabrics and flirting with gorgeous young doctors.

Third, Garak is an exile. He has no political power in Cardassia. He can do Sisko favors because of who he knows, the connections he still maintains, but he's also far too down-and-out to be an actual danger to them. Which means, critically, he needs favors from Sisko often enough that their relationship can actually be one of relative equality. They can give and take from each other. Garak knows where his bread is buttered - if Sisko decides he's not allowed on DS9 anymore, he really has nowhere else to go, so helping out the DS9 crew periodically by making himself useful is a long-term good for Garak. This is why he is willing to stage the murder of a Romulan senator to bring the Romulans into the Dominion war on the side of the Federation (despite Cardassia being on the side of the Dominion) - Garak is not an idiot. He recognized several things: the Dominion is not good for Cardassia, the Federation is the only power that can effectively stand against the Dominion, the Federation needs help, and the Federation is literally his landlord, so doing the Federation a favor (via Sisko) is good for him personally AND good for Cardassia in the long run. If Garak is replaced by a different spy, there is no guarantee Sisko would have this kind of leverage, so Sisko has a vested interest in keeping Garak in place.

Fourth, Garak has a vested interest in exposing anyone whose activities on the station would threaten his security, including other Cardassian spies. He makes a regular practice through the series of dropping hints, mostly to Bashir, that something is not right about this trader or that mercenary, which often results in the main cast uncovering some kind of plot before it can come to fruition. His spy games with Bashir aren't just for flirting, they're also an 'innocent' way for him to steer the Doctor's attention toward anyone who might pose a serious threat. This really goes back to reason 3, "The Federation is my Landlord", but Garak is proactive about it, so I feel like it deserves its own listing... another spy with a stronger sense of nationalism or a lower intelligence might not take that stance.

And lastly, Garak absolutely fucking HATES Gul Dukat, who delights in making himself the biggest thorn in Sisko's side (and wears heart-eyes about it the whole time). Any time Sisko needs a window into Dukat's mindset or needs help putting Dukat in his fucking place, Garak is stanced and ready. And it's not even necessarily for Sisko's benefit: here's an example of Garak calling Dukat out in front of everyone because Dukat is behaving inappropriately toward Kira, but in such a culturally Cardassian way Kira doesn't realize it:

S03Ep07, "Civil Defense"

(For those unaware, this is basically Dukat peacocking at Kira. He has a history of being attracted to Bajoran women, most of whom he claimed as slaves including Kira's actual mother, so it's extremely ick.)

Sometimes he even does it through other people, such as that time he prepped Bashir with a bunch of really embarrassing tea on Dukat only for Bashir to bull-rush his way into a highly political conversation and read Dukat for filth in front of Sisko. which resulted in one of my favorite scenes in the series:

S02Ep05, "Cardassian."

Would Sisko be getting this kind of entertainment from any other spy????? OFC NOT.

In conclusion, Sisko is keeping Garak forever. Pet Spy. Precious Baby. He did All That but we love him.

Garak is such a fun character because after a while everyone is just. Chill with him. Yeah that’s Garak he’s an ex spy. No he’s fine he won’t hurt you. Unless we ask him to, haha. Yeah he’s fine. Yeah he’s like our pet freak

[licncourt]

moments in VC that alter my brain chemistry (in a good way)

I thought was a good idea so thank you to @prouvaireafterdark for tagging me in @msrandonstuff 's request for a list like this!

I have to specify "(in a good way)" because there is so much wtf nonsense in these books, but I will gladly do a separate "(in a bad way)" list if y'all want. These are mostly from the first two books because they're by FAR the best, but there are a couple from the third and from the last three. If you've seen my Loustat moments post, you've seen everything you need to see from the middle books.

I've included page numbers for all these, but they won't apply to every version of the books. Fortunately, I have a Google Drive folder of VC book PDFs that these correspond to linked here

Spoilers, obviously.

Louis' turning in Interview with the Vampire p. 22-24 (romantic, sexy horror at its finest)

THE PROSTITUTE SCENE in IWTV p. 83-94 (an abridged version is in the 1994 movie, but the AMC show replaced it, rather anticlimactically imo, with the tenor scene. I have a breakdown of what makes the OG version so incredible right here)

Claudia's turning in IWTV p. 97-101 (while I understand the reasoning behind the changes in the AMC show, I prefer the book version. Additional Claudia spoilers here)

Louis' confession and slaughter of the priest in IWTV p. 154-156 (still heartbroken that this was storyboarded but cut from the movie, AMC better give it to me)

Claudia's "murder" of Lestat in IWTV p. 143-145 (gaslight gatekeep girlboss)

Louis and Lestat's brief reunion at the end of IWTV p. 340-346 (fucking brutal, iconic though and way gayer than the movie version)

The intro of The Vampire Lestat p. 1-3 (the first page is written, I swear to you, in the style of My Immortal, but I love it)

Lestat's first date with Nicolas as mortals in TVL p. 30-35 (Loustat is everything but human Nickistat is soooo baby)

Lestat's turning in TVL p. 63-66 (big CW for non-con, but a amazingly chilling scene)

Lestat finds the dungeon of Magnus' tower in TVL p. 77-79 (such a great horror moment)

Nicolas' condemnation of Lestat in TVL p. 198-201 (heartbreaking but such a watershed moment)

Lestat's recollections of Louis and Claudia in TVL p. 385-388 (THEY!!!!!!)

LOUSTAT REUNION FR THIS TIME in TVL p. 403-411 (this is the most important part of VC actually. Nothing else matters)

Lestat's rock concert in TVL p. 412-417 (he is so stupid but good for him)

Armand turning Daniel, the interviewer from IWTV, in Queen of the Damned p. 62-65 (the whole chapter this is from, The Devil's Minion, is amazing and one of the most loved parts of VC, so honestly just read it all)

Louis and Lestat visit NOLA in QotD p. 270-273 (this is where you should stop reading. Nothing is gained past this point)

Louis and Lestat express their feelings for real in Prince Lestat p. 508 (this is on my Loustat moments post, but it has to be here too)

Louis lets go of his grief and accepts happiness at the end of PL p. 518-525 (Louis was in Anne Rice character jail for almost forty years but YES YES THE TIGER IS OUT)

Louis and Lestat commit to each other permanently in Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis p. 131-141 (so many incredible Loustat things packed in here. All that makes this book justified in its existence)

Louis and Lestat live happily ever after in Blood Communion p. 282-284 (If it wasn't for this after All That Shit, I would've had to smash my face into concrete)

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[hockstuff]

expansion draft; Isles Protected List Prediction

this is honestly mainly for me to just have my prediction anywhere that isn’t my notes app lol so read if you want but also pls don’t it’s just me going on nonsense spiels ahahaha (also sorry to the anon from like months ago that asked about my prediction list but i never actually properly answered it yikes take this as a dedication to you)

disclaimer: if you do end up reading this (bruh why) - these are just my guesses, my predictions, and my opinions based on my knowledge of the team and the expansion draft. this is all in good fun!

PROTECTED FORWARDS

Mat Barzal

Anthony Beauvillier

Anders Lee

Brock Nelson

JG Pageau

Josh Bailey

Jordan Eberle

Wahlstrom is exempt from the draft so he does not count towards the protected numbers.

Choosing only 7 forwards is hard enough for any team but with the isles it might be slightly harder, seeing as they have such a strong core and all 4 lines produce results - one of the best fourth-lines in the league imo. ok so my issue here is, i see Eberle as a prime candidate to be taken by Seattle (as much as i hate it) but in saying that, i have him protected purely bc the only other person i would put in his place is Cizikas (maybe Clutterbuck too i can see getting a protected spot). But Cizikas is a UFA going into 2021-22 and probably won’t be re-signed before the draft, which makes him less appealing to seattle lol. if cizikas for some weird reason gets signed before the draft, he’ll be protected and take Eberle’s place - also not to mention getting rid of Eberle would free up cap space. i also wouldnt be surprised if they took Bellows

highly potential forward target(s): Cizikas, Clutterbuck, Martin (pls god no, not my beloved dilf line aka first line of my heart), Bellows

PROTECTED DEFENSEMEN

Ryan Pulock

Adam Pelech

Scott Mayfield

Dobson is exempt from the draft meaning he doesn’t count towards the protected number.

this was a no brainer in protecting Pulock and Pelech - isles top 2 defense pair and are crazy good. if there was any choice it would be between Mayfield and Leddy… and listen, i love leddy - great defenseman, puts up tons of points in the regular season, and sets up amazing plays! but he’s very expensive. he’s very expensive for what he produces in my opinion. and that’s not to say he should be paid less! it’s just he carries a $5.5M AAV cap hit compared to Mayfield’s $1.45M AAV and i think if we lost Mayfield, it’ll be a lot harder to find a replacement for him than Leddy. also same with eberle, getting rid of Leddy clears up cap space

highly potential defense target(s): Leddy

PROTECTED GOALIE

Semyon Varlamov

Sorokin is exempt from the draft meaning he doesn’t count towards protected numbers.

this is pretty simple considering Sorokin is exempt, and i don’t see Lou leaving Varlamov unprotected despite his hefty cap hit.

what i think might happen

out of those left unprotected, Leddy is probably the biggest name and the most appealing. the only thing that might stop seattle from taking him is his cap hit. seattle could also potentially go for younger players like Bellows, and there are other options in Hickey, Dal Colle etc. but they might prefer experience and recent impact.

the only way i don’t see seattle taking Leddy is if Lou negotiates a deal where they take someone else along with younger players and/or draft picks - which i hope doesn’t happen. this team needs to develop its younger players (wahlstrom, Bellows etc.) and deepen their prospect pool imo

in a perfect world: seattle, or literally anyone at this point, takes Andrew Ladd away from us pls and frees the isles of his godforsaken contract and cap hit🔪🔪🔪💀

if you made it this far and actually read any of that (lmao whyyy), let me know what you think! or what your predictions are bc i’m ~nervous but also love talking about the expansion draft 🥲

[kitkatopinions]

Alright, we got two of the Ace-Ops down so far. Since there isn’t too much too them (and they’re always kinda treated as a duo) let’s prompt for Elm and Vine.

Elm and Vine for the RWBY character asks, another challenge! Let’s do Elm first.

My top three ships for the character

Elm/Harriet is pretty good. I feel like they could be cute and they could balance each other out. Elm/Neo is literally just for the aesthetic and the breaking of stereotypes lol. Like Neo is the short cutie in pink with the long hair, but she’ll drop swears into her sign language and knock around anyone who tests her with a smile, and Elm is big and muscled in a uniform with her short hair, but she’s a softie and a sweetheart who’ll always be friendly. Also poly Elm/Harriet/Clover is surprisingly something I think I could get behind.

My three least favorite ships for the character

Elm/Marrow, Elm/Cinder, and Elm/Robyn. I don’t... Want any of that.

My biggest criticism for the character

Like all the Ace Ops, the back and forth on her morality and whether or not she’s friends with the others was so weird. She was a sweetie with a cheerful disposition who teased and seemed to like her coworkers, but tried to be professional... And then she was crazy, aggressive, down with murder, ready to attack Ren for talking about their emotions... And then she’s just, fine? I don’t - I don’t get it. The insistence on making Ironwood into a villain really threw all the Ace Ops into a weird place and Elm is no different. I’m honestly not sure how I was even meant to read her character.

My favorite thing about the character

We don’t see a lot of happier, cheerful adult characters and I like that we seemed to get some of that from Elm. I think she could’ve been a breath of fresh air as someone who could be professional and serious when the need demands, but could be a more optimistic, openly caring and brighter person to balance a lot of the adults who drift between serious and pessimistic, angry and hot tempered, cocky and arrogant, or all three at once. If only they’d kept her that way instead of making her mostly serious and angry...

A headcanon I have about them

The Ace Ops go out drinking at least once a month together on Elm’s insistence. She doesn’t push them to be friends, but she does push them to open up to each other because she thinks trust makes a good team. She didn’t get along with or feel like she could trust her teammates back in Atlas Academy, and was only happier to be able to try again with a new team.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

Keeping Ironwood not evil, I’d keep Elm’s more optimistic seeming personality and her more caring nature, and make her one of the first ones to really try and bridge the gap between Ironwood’s group and Ruby’s group. I’d also have her connect more easily with Yang and Jaune, while Nora and Weiss find her harder to get along with (I just decided I want dynamics like these with all the Ace Ops, that there are one or two kids that each Ace Op connects with more easily and one or two that they don’t get along with as well.)

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

The both of them are based off of ‘The Elm and the Vine,’ which according to Wikipedia, is only suspected of maybe being authored by Aesop. This is weird in my opinion, like... If they were going to base them all off of Aesop’s Fables, why couldn’t they each have their own Fable and why couldn’t they both definitely be... An Aesop’s Fable? So, I’d give them different Fable allusions altogether. For Elm, I might go with the Oak and the Reed as an allusion instead and I’d change her name to Reed. The moral of that story is that sometimes trusting your strength won’t get you through a storm, and bending to the wind might be better. This could be applied to the actual narrative of RWBY, but it also could apply even to my re-write where Ironwood would not be evil, because the whole point of it would be that Ironwood and RWBY and the Ace Ops all need to bend a little in order to survive the storm that is the Salem attack. Elm (or, Reed) could be the one most determined to support Ironwood and trust in him at the start, but also be the first one who really starts trying to work with Team RWBY again, proving that she is not too immoveable to bend a little and that you can be strong like an oak while being flexible like a reed at the same time.

Now, let’s go with Vine for the character asks.

My top three ships for the character

Vine/Marrow, idk, I just don’t mind this one. Vine/Joanna, idk, they could just look good together and also I kind of like the idea of one of the Ace Ops being in a secret relationship with one of the Happy Huntresses. Vine/Elm. It didn’t make my list of Elm ships, but it’s the only other one I could think of for Vine lol. They’d be cute though.

My three least favorite ships for the character

Vine/Harriet, don’t ask me why, this one just kind of annoys me. Vine/Qrow, somehow I feel like Qrow is not his type lol. And Vine/Robyn.

My biggest criticism for the character

See the exact same problem I have with Elm. I honestly don’t know how I was even supposed to see his character and then he just... Died. Am I supposed to just forgive him for the fact that he didn’t even defect when Ironwood wanted to bomb Mistral and was going to kill Marrow? Was I supposed to forget that he had been a caring and dedicated defender in volume seven, since he turned evil in volume eight and didn’t have Ren read that he was going to switch like he did for Marrow and Winter? Was I supposed to feel bad about him dying, when we didn’t get enough time to even really know more than the most basic of characterization? Vine was pretty much a plot device who then was killed for numbers and I think it shows.

My favorite thing about the character

Ehhh, his potential dynamics with the other Ace Ops, maybe?

A headcanon I have about them

He was the most hesitant to get to know any of the others or work with them very well, because unlike most of them, he actually really got along with his original Team in Atlas and felt kind of bad about having split off from them for the sake of his career. He felt like getting close to the other Ace Ops might be ‘replacing’ his old friends, and knew he’d take the opportunity to advance above them too if the situation came up, and didn’t want to disappoint them. Clover was the one who got him out of his shell and he then started getting attached to him and the others.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

Okay, the whole ‘sage, wise’ thing... Hmm. No thanks. I’d still make him kind of quiet and the least rambunctious Ace Op, but I’d try to get kind of a... Grumpy, but fun, kinda snarky, but obviously caring thing. And also, good Ironwood, the Ace Ops aren’t villains. I also really like the idea of Vine starting to get attached to the kids right away, but also being stricter and harder to impress than the other Ace Ops, leaving the kids with the mistaken opinion that he doesn’t like them. For the kids he’d connect to more, I think Blake would respect him from the start and he’d be a bit closer to Penny than most of the other Ace Ops, but Ruby and Yang wouldn’t like him very much. Also I think I’d try to change his semblance. It's just a bit, um...

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Like I said for Elm, it’s weird imo that she and him shared an allusion and that it is only rumored to be an Aesop Fable. I’m interested in ‘the Goat and the Vine,’ for obvious reasons. Its story is a bit weird. A goat starts eating the leaves and shoots of a vine, that tells them it will still be able to produce grapes, which will make the wine that’ll be poured over the goat when it gets sacrificed. I feel like it doesn’t quite work in the case of Vine being the one sacrificed... Oof. But you could spin it, like Vine’s death doesn’t stop the fact that Cinder and Salem are going to go down soon enough anyway. And in an alternate universe, if he was one of the people holding back Cinder or other villains as people escape to Vacuo, and then was severely wounded, but in the knowledge that any pain he went through wouldn’t matter since Cinder was still going to get destroyed later and her plans had mostly failed... Idk, um. Yeah, that’s the best I got. XD 

[youcantfiremebecauseiquit]

idk if u care but crispin gray recently had an interview about his entire career and it kind of changed my perspective of queenadreena…idk if for better or for worse lol. it was weird to see him so dismissive of a lot of his catalogue w katie except for ‘love your money’ just because that was the only remotely chart successful song. i get you want to be able to sustain yourself but jeez him and katie really had a weird back and forth relationship

Sorry i'm replying late, i've seen the interview pop up on Youtube but honestly i was too invested in university shit recently & generally not in the good mood for that but i'm planning to watch. How did it change your view on Queen Adreena, did he say something mean specifically on QA or Katie? I mean i gotta watch it but honestly? Not surprised in the slightest. A few years ago he was asked to describe fave songs he recorded throughout the years and he listed more of Daisy Chainsaw ones than anything else, with Love Your Money as number 1. The differences in their points of view are real something, Katie Jane absolutely HATED Love Your Money, same as Daisy Chainsaw. Kinda apparent he wanted bigger fame but DC dropped fast and QA failed to live up to their predictions.

i had a time when i liked to dig up old Queen Adreena interviews that are lost in the old internet & generally not available for years (which i planned to post on is-she-suffering but my investment in that site is... varied in its intensity). Also that was back in the days when i wrote Queen Adreena book during manic phase and tried to sell it but lost motivation Well since i don't do anything with that knowledge anyway i'll put what i know here as i love fan discussions

So they sure had/have odd back and forth love-hate relationship & that's the reason why their career went how it went. There's been a huge tension between them at some point. I'm sure you know she had a major mental breakdown (probably schizophrenic episode) after Daisy Chainsaw, or even beginning before her leaving, and then she went into isolation and lived with an old woman in Lake District for awhile. She left Daisy Chainsaw cause Crispin didn't want her to come up with her own songs (all of DC was by Crispin except for Lovely ugly brutal world by KJ).

They almost split up as Queen Adreena after Drink Me. The material for The Butcher and The Butterfly was written at different times, originally it was meant to be called Atom Bomb at Bikini but it was constantly delaying and they eventually recorded everything they've got live. So that's obvious right? But i was surprised to find out they were writing songs separately. Some of them (i forgot which though) were written by Katie Jane and Pete Howard's sons band (they're even credited) + some with Melanie Garside, Richard Adams + some other musician. Katie Jane didn't like it. They intended it to be their last album at the time. She also hated live at ICA show but they released it cause they were broke

But that's a digression. I just wanna say that at this point they were done with each other but kept pushing it. Katie had her own art projects and stuff, Crispin started Dogbones with Nomi and i just remember how vaguely pissed at Katie he waas in the interviews. Like he stressed that Dogbones is his number one priority and if Katie wants to do something with Queenadreena, she must wait til Dogbones have a break first or something, and it sounded oddly bitter.

RaCH and Djinn era are just so weird, they had opportunities but let them go in a way. I don't think many people know but they were huge demand in Japan. They entered album charts and were interviewed by 11 magazines and 6 (!)TV stations there (wtf happened to that material i want to know???). But they only played 5 times or less.

Katie said she considers the band dead but they decided they can try to play for a couple more months. But aside from that she 100% lost the interest in the band around Djinn. There's an interview where she says "the overall image is Crispin but the shape will change again at rehearsals". And you can hear it, it’s more blues rock than anything. IMO it's their worst production wise. Instruments are fine but Katie's voice is so badly produced that sometimes i find some songs fucking irritating, cause they didn’t cut out her breaths and the vocals are TOO LOUD, to the point of distorting. As if she stands too close to the mic. The album is fine but it feels unfinished.

And here we come back to Crispin... here's what he said after the QA split:

Why the Dogbones started? “I needed to work more than the previous band I was in was working, the previous band who shall remain nameless, haha… um… Queenadreena. I wanted to work more than the singer of Queenadreena wanted to work… so that’s why it started. Fine by me… but I really like to be in a band, I’m not a solo project kind of guy. The last album (‘Djin’) did come out in the UK, but it was so low key because Katie kind of disappeared so there was little point in promoting it. Personally it’s my favourite by far so it was a shame but there you go… So here are Dogbones, it’s not been an easy ride but we are trying very hard.

Ok so the bitterness is kinda apparent isn't it. I think there were two reasons why they argued so much, first musical differences. Katie at some point lost interest in loud rock music for some years and went the folk way in Ruby Throat. I have a theory that Taxidermy and Drink Me are more influenced by Katie Jane and Butcher and Djinn are more Crispin. During first albums i think Katie more actively took part in music composition and choosing arrangements. She wrote lyrics, melodies but also composed a lot of songs on some little electronic keyboard thing and 4 track (Heavenly Surrender, Pray for me, My Silent Undoing, all Lalleshwari +more). Plus she wanted more peaceful/dreamy sound on Taxidermy than full on rock, Crispin complained about it in some 00's interview, that he'd like it to be more rock. Then there are 2 versions of Drink Me, the original has rough and alt versions of songs (it was sold by Katie and it's leaked on FB and probably YT). Crispin Gray apparently really hated the final Drink Me. Now next album is The Butcher & The Butterfly and it's more standard blues rock, no more crazy dreamy things of previous albums etc., Djinn is even more blues rock but darker. Djinn was his favourite at some point while KJ hated Butcher, not sure about Djinn. So i think they had different views on where they should go, Katie made her weird simplistic creepy tunes (like Lalleshwari) and folk melodies adding that strange things to noise rock. Crispin probably wanted blues & rock.

Other than that, i’m convinced they are bitter exes, lol. There’s been rumours about them dating during Daisy Chainsaw for years, plus Katie had a history of dating band members. Crispin wrote X-ing off the days about her. I don’t know if they dated again in Queen Adreena. Then there’s this interview, timeline is unclear, either The butcher & the butterfly or later:

„Katie writes all the songs herself and often looks for melodies and structure with the drummer. With Crispin - her husband or ex-husband, which is not entirely clear to me - for almost three years she has no longer been in a room. "Sometimes we send him a letter with a new song and that's all we can do. All we have are our lungs and our musical talent and we have to do with it. It is repugnant difficult life, I know most of the time how I should deal with it." But Queenadreena will still remain even exist? "I think so, we are now pretty busy and I see where the ship aground.”

I always wondered what exactly happened after Djinn, i’ve seen Katie Jane say „i think they gave up on me” while others said she disappeared. Other times CG said there’s no bad blood between them but at the same time there’s been some weird tension.  As of recent i thought they reconnected somehow through the internet and had a good relation but who really knows.s

I get why Crispin gets irritated when people compare everything he does to „stealing from KJ” but honestly, he gave them good reasons, at least in the 90’s. I can believe Starsha Lee singer isn’t copying Katie cause she’s from Brazil or something and she didn’t know Queen Adreena before. But everything else… Crispin’s problem is that he doesn’t know what he wants. He spent 90’s chasing something, tried singing himself, had girl singer replacements and even one KJ copy. Dogbones was ironically his most original non-Katie band, even with all their grunge influences. In a way he wants to be a frontman and at the same time doesn’t. Idk if he’s very controlling, but Daisy Chainsaw shows he valued his songs/lyrics first & in Queen Adreena he had to step back a lot, cause Katie’s condition was she would be in charge of the lyrics. I don’t think he realizes how strongly Daisy Chainsaw issues affected Katie, i mean from her own words you can read that aside from media attention/hate, her being unable to write lyrics had a role in her breakdown. I think she now let go but for years she hated remembering Daisy Chainsaw and she felt kind of worthless cause she was only somebody else’s mouthpiece. I’m not trying to say he’s cruel or anything, but i firmly believe rock lyrics writers should sing their own songs or else there are problems.

They both were writers-composers with different vision and i have impression they struggled a lot while shaping their songs, cause they both stuck to their ideas. Hence 2 versions of Princess Carwash maybe. Katie once said that he „gets terribly upset with her” cause she writes her songs on a simple wind organ and uses a few chord buttons only. Clash of writer ways/personalities/egos and at some point they had to let go.

Maybe he prefers music/bands where he was 100% in control including lyrics (note he wrote/sang some lyrics in Dogbones too). Daisy Chainsaw achieved bigger success US and UK wise as they were offered to play Top of The Pops, and they’re more well liked/remembered by „general alt public”. Queen Adreena however is way more valued as a cult band, with cult following and admiration in UK & France. Most people think Pretty Like Drugs and other QA songs are his best work and he probably finds it irritating cause truth is, he never managed to be more successful than Daisy Chainsaw/Queenadreena. Love Your Money is ironically the least Crispin Gray/DC/QA sounding song in my opinion. I kinda find it irritating that he downplays Queen Adreena cause it was probably his best work in this band but whatever

So yeah sorry for the word spill, that’s what i can think of it right now but as i said, i haven’t watched the interview yet, it’s just this kind of treatment is in a way consistent for him

[margridarnauds]

Hello~! It's me again. Could you give us a top 5 of your favourite and least favourite theatre costumes of all time and why ^^

Almost ONE YEAR LATER but here we go! Let it not be said that I don’t fulfill my asks come Hell or high water. 

So, first time I tried to do this, it DELETED on me because TUMBLR and then my heart was, subsequently, so broken that I couldn’t do it. HERE’S TO HOPING IT DOESN’T HAPPEN AGAIN. 

The Hall of Shame. 

1. Morgane’s.................whatever this is, La Legende du Roi Arthur

Look. Look. I can’t say anything. I literally can’t say anything about this. The colors, the weird leather belt over the weirder bodice, the pants......I just. I just. I-

This musical made a lot of weird fashion choices, in keeping with the ultra-stylized nature of French musicals, some of which worked, some of which didn’t, but this one in particular earns top spot on The Hall of Shame. 

2. Juliet’s dresses, Romeo and Juliet (Takarazuka 2021) 

Now, you might say that there are uglier dresses on this list. You might say that there are dresses that are worse made on this list. And I would agree. But THIS production committed the single worst crime it could possibly commit: It disappointed me. Because at first we all saw the updated promo pictures pictures and were like “Oh! They’re changing the costumes around! That’s wonderful!” and THEN. And t h e n . 

Breaking my own rule to include two because I literally can’t choose and both committed Sins. 

Starting off with this one. Because........red belt on polka dots. Why. Why. The fabric is dull and almost totally colorless, the pattern is hideous and looks more like it belongs on a much, much older woman, and the cut itself is rather dull and unflattering, and that’s not including the leather belt that I half-suspect she stole from Morgane when Morgane was passed out. (Honestly, God help me, but Morgane’s belt at least looks fitted to the outfit. This looks like they tried to fit it, shrugged their shoulders, gave up, and called it a night.) The only excuse I can find for this gown is Lord Capulet deciding that, in a desperate attempt to keep suitors away, he’s going to start dressing Juliet up in his mother’s clothing. 

And then....

Her words are singing love. 

But her eyes are screaming “Help me, help me, I’m being held captive by this mismatched boho dress that they grabbed off the rack of a ‘Wandering Spirit' store. Save me. Save me.” 

It’s disappointing, for me, because the promo pic looked SO GOOD. 

The color is a much deeper, more vibrant red, the fabric looks more consistent (even if it still includes some of the more inexplicable fashion choices), and even the headpiece looks, roughly, like it SHOULD be there. But then, when you see it in stage lighting, that goes away, and all that you get is a collection of clashing fabrics on top of one another in a dull, limp mess of a dress. Toho RETJ made some weird costuming decisions, it made some decisions that I STRONGLY doubted working out, but, at least, when you saw them in motion, they worked and were consistent with the worldbuilding that’d been established (Capulets and Montagues both had a distinctive look, each character wore clothing that fitted them and their personalities, etc.) But this? No. There’s no reason for it to look that badly, they just dropped the ball. It’s trying to do a hundred things at once and succeeded at doing none of them. 

And what’s annoying to me is that I KNOW that Zuka CAN do better. This isn’t me saying “Lol Zuka.” I KNOW that they can do some wonderful things with fashion. 

This production wanted what Casanova had. Look. 

Look at that wonderful, watery fabric. Look at how consistent it is. Look at how pretty it is. Look at how clean and elegant it is. Look at how they manage to capture the look of a rose while doing so in a clean, elegant way. Look at how this was for MINOR, BACKGROUND characters, not one of your leads in ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC. SONGS. IN. THE WORLD. OF MUSICAL THEATRE. 

Zuka broke my heart there. Broke. It. 

3. Christine’s Yellow Contest Dress, Phantom (2019)

Ronan Mazurier called. He wants his yellow coat back. 

I don’t know what they were trying to do here, I really don’t. Make her look like a bumblebee? The cut isn’t particularly flattering (which you can say for most of the costumes on the main characters, I honestly think the best costumes in this production are on the side characters), the color is garish, and there aren’t really any....details that could salvage it? Like, some good embroidery or detailing MIGHT be enough to save it (though I don’t really think so, ngl), but there’s just. Nothing here. Nothing to redeem it. It looks better in motion than it does in still images, but that’s really, really not saying much. 

4. Mozart’s Everything, Mozart das Musical

Modernizing historical musicals is a gamble: Sometimes, you’re able to effectively mix historical fashion with contemporary fashion in order to convey the feeling of the era while not bogging down actors and actresses in heavy historical costuming. Probably one of the best examples of this I can think of is & Juliet, which mixes aspects of 16th century fashion with modern fashion. Hamilton is another example of a musical that does a really, really wonderful job of mixing 18th century and contemporary fashion, conveying that idea of “The story of America then by America now” (Not getting into any of the rightful critiques that have been made against that thesis, I’m just saying that, when it comes to the costumes, Hamilton does a good job conveying that idea.)

And then. Mozart. 

Poor. Poor. Mozart. And whatever you want to call the dreadlocks + 18th century coat + tank top (?) + jeans combo. This one is going to be HIGHLY controversial, since I know a lot of people love it and it’s never going to change because the costuming is viewed as iconic, but I really, really hate how they did the stylization of this musical. I feel like, as far as approach, Mozart l’Opera rock did a much better job with modernizing 18th century fashion. I know what they were TRYING to do as far as showing Mozart as a man outside of his own time. But the end result, in my opinion, is a hideous mishmash of No. 

5. Orléans’ Black Court Suit, Marie Antoinette

Now, it might be wrong for me to put so much hatred on this one coat. After all, it’s actually, all things put together, not a BAD coat. It actually looks quite accurate from the period, more accurate than Orléans’ silver coat from the 2018 production.

I do like the gold detailing on it...in theory. Is matches the floral gold embroidery that we see A LOT of in extant garments, like the one above from the V & A costume gallery. In practice, it looks quite bulky and cheaply done, like someone bought one of those easy stick embroidery sets from Amazon and got to work. More than that, though, it really....represents everything wrong with Orléans in 2018, in that this is clearly a Villain Coat. If this was any other character, if this was Artois from 1789, I’d probably love it. But not Orléans. Not replacing the iconic outfit. 

Honorable mentions: 

- Anne of Cleves, Six 

- Death’s Cowboy Suit, Elisabeth (2005 Wien)

- Ronan’s Yellow Coat, 1789

- Ursula, The Little Mermaid (Shiki)

- The Pink Dress™ from Poe Clan (2021)

The Hall of Fame: 

1. Marie Antoinette’s Silver Gown, 1789 (Takarazuka)

It only feels fair after giving Takarazuka such a sharp critique in the Hall of Shame that they should get top place when it’s deserved. Just because I don’t uncritically love EVERYTHING doesn’t mean that I unfairly criticize them, either. And this gown, in my opinion, is the epitome of what musical theatre costuming should be, and evidence, for that matter, that a gown doesn’t NEED to be overly elaborate to be stunning. The simple silver embroidery and the choice of fabrics are PERFECT, with the darker gray and the light silver complimenting one another perfectly. The lace is wonderful and subtle enough that it’s almost possible to miss it amongst everything else, and the gown furthermore shows off Antoinette’s development in the show, as we see her go from her elaborate, vibrant party gowns to this very, very simple, toned down dress, her hair loose. 1789′s had a lot of really wonderful costumes across the various productions (Olympe’s dresses in the Toho, with the exception of the pink dress, forever own my heart, as do MA’s), but this gown, in particular, earns its spot, and imo deserves more attention than the more famous flower gown from her opening scene. (Lovely gown, good costume designing, but a little too busy and over the top for my personal taste.)  

2. Anne Boleyn’s Red Dress, Lady Bess

Is this the most accurate gown in the world? No - The sleeves are more Italian than English, the under-sleeves look more like they’re late 16th century Italian and the French hood, while more accurate than most of the attempts in Lady Bess, still looks nothing like a proper French hood. (Lady Bess, in general, borrows a lot of fashioning from the Elizabethan Era as opposed to the Marian Era.) BUT. But. The materials used are absolutely exquisite, especially that sumptuous red velvet, and I adore the gauzy fabric that covers it, since that really gives the impression of Anne as a GHOST. The detailing is also exquisite. Overall, Anne gets only two dresses: This and her execution gown, but she really, really makes it work. 

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, TOHO. (Image Credit: Lavinia Fontana, Ritratto di nobildonna, 1580)

I SEE YOU. (Image Credit: Portrait of Lucrezia Panciatichi by Bronzino, 1545)

(Have I ever mentioned that there was a time, a few years ago, where, if you were my friend, you WOULD see selections from my 16th Century Costuming Image Collection? Because...I was really, really into 16th century costuming.)

3. Christine’s “Wishing” Gown, Phantom of the Opera

Sometimes, I become so wrapped up in my non-English musicals that I forget about musicals closer to home. Which would be a massive oversight in the case of Phantom of the Opera because all of its costumes have more than earned their place as some of the most iconic costumes in musical theatre history. The Wishing Gown and Star Princess gown are probably my two favorites, but the Wishing Gown gets a special shoutout for the distinctly “wintery” look it has, with the frosty blue silk (apparently, actually a turquoise color), slightly snowflake-like look to the floral accenting on the bodice, and lace. It really works with the tone of “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again” and the cloak gives it a properly dramatic look. 

4. Anna’s Black Dress + Fur, Anna Karenina

In my opinion, this musical includes some of the most gorgeous costuming ever put on stage, which made choosing any individual costuming hard, but the simplicity of the black combined with the elegance of the fur accents really, really sells it for me. I could spend a whole day just running my hands over the fur. Again, accurate? ...not really, but it does a wonderful job showing the style and the elegance of 19th century Russia. 

5. Donal’s Black Brat + Doublet, The Pirate Queen

The Pirate Queen in general provides some wonderful, wonderful examples of 16th century costuming (including some of the MOST accurate costumes for Elizabeth I that have ever been put on the stage), but this one in particular is magnificent in terms of how it constructs Donal’s character and position in 16th century Irish society, to the point I’ve written an entire meta on it. A good costume, in my opinion, looks good on stage, but a really, really great costume will tell you exactly where that character is in their arc WHILE looking great, and this brat does both. The show had its faults, but the late, great Martin Pakledinaz did a truly wonderful job with the costuming and deserved far more kudos than he got for trying to tackle a notoriously hard period as far as costuming is concerned. 

Honorable Mentions: 

- Orléans’ black coat/Marie’s gold dress, MA 

- Mina’s blue cloak, Dracula

- Josiana’s gowns, The Man Who Laughs (Korea)

- The Sternenkleid, Elisabeth

- Anastasia’s blue evening gown, Anastasia

- Elsa’s ice queen gown, Frozen

[kassical]

My dude!! I’ve acquired a laptop!! Do you have any idea how to begin making mods or transferring them to a wii/wii u (my plans involve doing a skyward sword run which I call “maximum casualties” but I want to throw in some mods to make it more interesting and also doingbreath of the wild mods; I have the screenshot from the last question I asked and I’ve looked up Cemu by now but I’d like to get more into this if possible and I hardly know how to use this new laptop cuz it’s my first one like ever kdjdjsn lmao

I thought i ought to include the screenshot also for reference just in case also I’m sorry if this is weird or something I’m not sure cuz I’ve had a bit of A Day(tm) and I hope this at least makes sense lmao

holy shit, congrats on getting a laptop! don’t be afraid to explore it and have a bit of fun. if you haven’t got them already i reccomend getting speccy and ccleaner (partly bc the former will be handy later on w/ cemu). im gonna put the rest of this under the cut bc it is going to get preetttttty long, so brace yourself :^)

Wii hacking:

Okay, first thing is that I have never actually hacked a Wii so I am woefully lacking in knowledge on that, but there are some really good guides such as Wii Guide and this really good thread on GBAtemp.

in terms of mods for Skyward Sword there is a handful but it’s mostly recolours - however if you’re willing to get into another emulator, Dolphin, you can use a wiimote and there are HD texture mods which are pretty sweet

WiiU hacking:

the WiiU hacks guide has been invaluable and is a collab between a bunch of homebrew helpers and staff, and helps you through choosing a custom firmware depending on how you want to approach it.

Along with this, the “Definitive vWii Hacking Guide” has everything laid out, step by step, and is written as though the reader is completely new to it so is imo the easiest to really get stuck in with

Word of warning - hacking your console does run the risk of bricking it.

Cemu + emulating BoTW:

This is the bit i’m most familiar with :^) this is piracy though so i understand if it’s not for you

we want to start with getting the game - this can be done via dumping with hacking your WiiU as above (the legal-ish way), by finding a torrent/download (outdated, not as safe, not legal), or by using the WiiU USB helper (also not legal, less time consuming, safer than torrents)

so i’ll walk you through door number 3 in that case - the WiiU USB Helper. The guide linked there gives you the download for the installer, and also a video as a visual guide. 

This can also be used to transfer games to the WiiU but for now we’re focusing on emulation, which this comes packed with already.

Set an extraction and a download folder using the buttons on the bottom (I just have them both in a folder called WiiU games for ease)

Find the game you want to download and press “add” - with BoTW it will prompt you to download the updates and the dlc as well - and start downloading!

when it’s finished it will be under the header of “Downloaded” - highlight it and it’ll show the details off to the side, where you will find the option to play the game on pc

by hitting that it’ll start the extraction, which automatically makes the game playable on Cemu - the helper does that for you, and may just ask which version you want

after the extraction Cemu should automatically open but if it does you can find the .exe in \”where u put the extraction folder”\DATA\EMULATORS\Cemu\BIN

If for some reason you downloaded an earlier version you can go into the settings and tick the box to look for updates when its booted up

Last thing for this section: to get the best performance I highly recommend BSoD Gaming’s Cemu setup guide! He knows just about all there is to know in regards to this stuff and I use his guides myself even now. This is where the Speccy from the top of this behemoth will come in handy, since you will need to see how many cpu cores you have when he goes through his step-by-step guide. You do this by booting up Speccy and going to CPU on the list to the left, where it will tell you how many cores and threads you have.

Modding, Console and Cemu:

Console:

Thankfully Gamebanana has a decent amount of help in regards to this. It is more complicated to mod the game on console but this guide for installation instructions goes through each way to do it, with example packs too.

There is also the Zeldamods wiki but that can be a bit dense imo

Cemu:

For Cemu, first we need to get the BCML mod loader from the gamebanana page. The latest version, 3.0.0 is mostly stable now and is pretty versatile, just a bit slow.

All you need first is the latest Visual C++ redis which can be found here, as the installer at the bottom of the page has it all packaged in

the setup guide is fairly straightforward, but when you get to the bit where it asks for directories, it can seem confusing, but hover over the entries and it’ll have a brief explanation

when it comes to the update entry it will depend on whether you have an EU or US version, so if it isn’t in the suggested “101c9400", it may be in “101c9500″ (I run EU version)

when they are all ticked green go forward and you will have your empty list in BCML so time to get some mods!

Modding time!:

Back to Gamebanana, it’s where the majority of worthwhile mods are held and there is also a discord and tool if you wish to start creating them yourself, but I suggest playing around first :^)

Find a mod you like, eg the Zelda’s Ballad mod, and read through the page as there are sometimes certain requirements needed, until you get to the downloads

If there is a BCML 1-click install option, go for that. If not, manual download and you can add it to the mod loader using the little plus sign in the bottom right and browsing for the file

On the little pop up on the mod loader, hit install and it’ll start it’s magic by installing and enabling the mod(s)

Now - sometimes mods don’t play too nicely with each other, such as using multiple skins for the same item or character, and some of the overworld building mods can be buggy. Sometimes these can be fine just by restarting Cemu, sometimes you need to go through your modlist and root out the cause.

Another note is that if you look at your graphic packs when you boot up Cemu, under Mods you’ll see a box with BCML. Leave that checked for the most part, and if you want to disable mods I recommend going through the mod loader.

But wait, there’s more:

If you want to go even deeper, there is also Cheat Engine and there has been a cheat table released for BoTW on Cemu which runs alongside the game. This is how I’ve been able to do item replacements, but you can basically make Link go godmode with infinite hearts etc

The cheat table can be found here, and the video on how to add custom values can be found here - but I recommend getting to grips with the other stuff before this as it has more potential to mess up saves.

Phew, good god that’s a long one but if you’ve made it here then I sincerely hope you have a lot of fun. There’s Skyward Sword dungeon mods for Botw and you can get SS Link’s clothes by using the amiibo codes I’ve uploaded here, so go wild! Let me know if you have any issues - a lot can seem complicated but when it works it works really well! 

have a stronk boy for your hard work

[lesbianmarth]

it’s been a while since i posted about aa but i just finished soj in its entirety tonight. here’s my new list so far

i still have to give thoughts on cases 4 5 and dlc so that’ll be under a cut. spoilers!

6-4: this was such a filler case, almost shamefully so. i don’t know why they thought they could manage to do this in the 4th case when every game with 5 cases has been pretty consistent about making the 4th case plot relevant, sometimes literally just a preamble to case 5. so yeah i think this one was kinda ass

the two things it had going for it: one, athena. in 6-2 i actually got confused about why i ever liked her, because in that case she felt like she was just acting the part of the Peppy Teen Girl With a Rowdy Streak that makes up almost every assistant character. But then as SOON as she started bantering with Simon in 6-4 i was like “oh, THAT’S why i liked her!” was nice to take control of her again.

two, uendo toneido. while i don’t think you can say the DID was portrayed with quite the necessary respect or kindness, it was handled better than i’ve seen other media handle it-- at least it’s not completely demonized. other people have written more on that in better detail so i’m not really the judge, but the basic point is that this witness was mad fun to read, and even the dumb jokes like the changing number of floor cushions were entertaining. thus why this case is in the “hard carried by one side character” tier.

especially since there was like nothing else going on. no connection to the main plot, only two other characters besides uendo, and for some reason the clown tits girl was here instead of the magic show case (and to be honest, she wasn’t enjoyable for me even BEFORE she did the standard aa female villain thing and changed her speech pattern as soon as she fell under suspicion). just a weird, nothing case stuck right around the point aa games usually enter endgame. And especially weird because...

6-5 part 1: inexplicably there are two separate cases in the final chapter and each gets one day of investigation and trial. such a weird setup, and it really shouldn’t work... but i think it kinda barely does. barely. it would still have been better to split it into case 4 and case 5 though.

i have a hard time articulating much on the first case bc it sort of blends together for me. the main thing is that the concept of it being a civil case where apollo and phoenix face off is really good. it was a good change of pace, even though you knew it was gonna be a murder somehow anyway. sarge was reasonably nice, i guess, paul atishon had some good animations and quirks (my favorite being when he tries to just walk away from the stand to avoid answering a question), and the logic of the actual murder was good enough.

but i especially got those strong “oh this is a FINAL case!” vibes during the segment in the cave, and that added so much to it even if not much of it was relevant in the first half of the case. the adventure feel reminded me of some of the (out of context bc i still havent played it) scenes i know from 3-5, which is a good association to invoke imo. and it did a lot to give apollo and dhurke time to bond.

speaking of which, dhurke, holy shit. what a KING. i don’t think i’ve ever liked a dad character in ace attorney this much. he’s so genuine and like down to earth that it’s impossible not to start liking him and believe how much he cares for his sons. the bit where he rescued apollo from the cave flood... i felt it in my heart

6-5 part 2: let me just get this out of the way: ga’ran sucks. her design after she goes full evil is so bad, she’s so malicious that it’s immediately obvious she’s going to be the culprit, her breakdown is ridiculous and just embarrassing to watch, and inga had already established way more charisma as a villain when he did the “those were orders of execution actually” bit in 6-3. with that said,

i actually liked it for the most part. the spirit channeling stuff was excellent imo-- they probably use it to similar or greater effect in 3-5 but as someone who again has not played that, i was surprised and almost impressed by how well it was applied. maya was relevant for something! it feels like it’s been ages!

rayfa was a little underutilized, i think-- her moment of determination where she stops letting ga’ran have control over her was alright but it fell flat bc it didn’t have any weight during the moment. i kept hoping she would like, wordlessly take of her shawl and do the little verbal preamble to the divination seance while ga’ran kept yelling at her to stop, but no, the script can’t be good like that, i guess. and since she didn’t get to be the investigation assistant for long, none of her charm in that role carried through.

but DHURKE!! oh my god! in a game almost devoid of emotional impact, his involvement in this case really hit. the way they painstakingly animated his death, the scene where he makes a promise with maya, and then the weight of knowing in hindsight that everything he did in the first part of the case was after he’d already died and just wanted to see his son again before passing on for real....... it hurt. i felt something during that section. this case would also be hard carried by him if not for the fact that i really liked the murder bits.

amara was good too--liked how they made her suspiciously serene and accentuated it with the lightning strikes to make her look like a hidden murderer character about to reveal herself, only to walk it back and confirm she was being forced to act that way. i thought it worked. nahyuta was boring though, i’m sorry-- i get the motivation with having to be a bastard bc his sister and mom were basically held hostage, but the only time i found him compelling in that mess was the bit where he removed his one fingerless glove and revealed he still has the dragon tattoo. that was it. athena was also completely unused the whole case (not even a single mood matrix? really?) and trucy one again went without any role of importance.

the ending also... yknow, a friend said they had to end it this way bc they never figured out what they were going to do with apollo (since following up on what they started in aa4 clearly wasn’t an option???) and just threw him on a bus to get rid of him. i agree with that-- he really feels thrown to the side, and with that i think trucy’s officially stranded with no hope of any character advancement. and the way they ended the game with phoenix and lamiroir deciding “yeah, maybe NOW we should finally tell those two they’re related” honestly felt insulting lol

but maybe the dlc case will let things go out on a high note...?!

6-6: it was okay.

it would’ve worked pretty well as a filler case in an older aa-- honestly i think it’d be one of the better filler cases, certainly worth replacing the shitty ones like 2-3 or 3-3 or, hey, 6-4. but whether i’d say it was worth paying for... eh.

the time travel conceit was done well enough, i think. the way they tied it back to sorin and pierce’s backstories was nice, and the twist about having two receptions was good, although they needed to treat that as a real twist with much more gravity. when the truth comes out it just feels like “oh of course that’s what happened” rather than a big surprise worthy of the Confessing the Truth theme. it’s sort of important because the case becomes a lot less interesting when you take out the time travel element.

far as characters are concerned, i think they needed more side characters to sell the whole thing-- another sprocket family member or another servant of the household. it felt a little limited-- sorin and pierce are pretty good witnesses and i like their quirks and their secrets, but the only alive woman (ellen) has very few traits and no connection to the deeper story of the case, so she falls really flat. the old aa characters didn’t add much- maya and edgeworth were just there for fanservice, ema didn’t get to do much other than acknowledge for the first time in years that she’s a big edgeworth fan, and larry is annoying as hell like he always is.

and oh my god i actually forgot while i was writing that, how they put in athena and trucy but only used them for brief slapstick where trucy would try to set athena on fire and shit. again-- no mood matrix? couldn’t even try once to fit those two characters into something?

i did like pierce’s transformation into his surgeon form though-- that was really cool. loved him doing surgery on a robot, taking xrays of the lawyers, and his breakdown was fantastic-- he would make a really good culprit if they didn’t whiff the last bit of pathos at the end. i don’t think he should’ve been aiming for revenge on sorin; it would have hurt much more if he was still loyal to the guy and never intended for him to be in danger, but the final “why’d you do it?” talk in the trial just felt flat and one-note, much like the one in 6-4.

... so that’s spirit of justice! not a super positive experience but i’m happy to say it’s done. as much as i want to go and replay dgs, i think when i do go back to ace attorney i’ll be replaying the trilogy for the first time since high school

[maiji]

“If you could pick 5 members to be on your team in the dark tournament, who would it be?”

So while I was going back through my archives trying to see if I had any incorrectly flagged content (I scrolled all the way to 2015, found three, and gave up/went to bed lol), I kept getting distracted and rereading old posts out of amusement. One of them was this 21 Questions Yu Yu Hakusho meme - and one question in particular made the gears of my brain clank so I thought hey, why not? Let’s answer it.

I'm going to tackle this question from two angles.

A) If I could pick ANY characters in Yu Yu Hakusho to form a team.

B) If I could only pick characters who appear during the actual Dark Tournament.

As soon as you see my first list, you'll understand why I was like, “oh.” and opted to do it again from B lmao.

(Oh yeah my tags spoil everything but oh well. Hope the rationale makes up for it hahaha)

VERSION A: Fun times

Raizen.

I'm sorry, the tournament is over now, thank you for coming. Seriously though, he's Yusuke with a million times more firepower and brains/experience. Also, one of the appeals of Yusuke is that he makes fighting fun, which is why everyone wants to go up against him. Raizen's friends express the exact same sentiment repeatedly. Raizen in his prime in battle would be a sight to see. He'd be all DID SOMEBODY SAY FIGHTING?? YEAH I'LL FIGHT ALL THE FIGHTS WAHOO and nobody would be able to get him off the arena platform. If there is an arena platform left. Or an arena. Or anything.

Enki.

Jolly uncle/all-round good dude, I love him. He also loves fighting, so he is also lots of fun. He seems much more cool-headed and practical than Raizen, and definitely takes the lead in coordinating the rest of Raizen's pals. Thus, he's a great wingman for Raizen. If you somehow actually manage to defeat Raizen- haha, what am I talking about? OK, if Raizen slept in or something, then you can fight Enki. And in that case the tournament is still over.

Kokou.

LOVES FIGHTING AND WILL KICK YOUR ASS. Even Enki was relieved he didn't have to face her. I firmly believe after Raizen she's the strongest - or at least one of the strongest - out of all of Raizen's already insanely powerful friends. Honestly, between Raizen and Kokou they'd probably just take everybody down, including each other, and have a blast. 

My perfect noodle husband Hokushin.

Obviously no one is surprised at this pick on my blog. Also loves fighting, plus super duper reliable, he's perfect support for anything. Along with Enki, he'd help temper Raizen and Kokou's wild party. And somebody needs to clean up after all the mess and make sure everybody gets first aid and whatever. Well, first aid for the other team they just massacred, I guess.

One more Raizen friend: Natsume.

We could put another one of Raizen's friends here, but I pick Natsume because we know a lot more about her and she's so badass and we should have more women. Also, because she's very clearly another great mashup of LOVES FIGHTING and NOT STUPID, as a fifth member, she can easily step in to fill any of the others' shoes, whether it's happily beat the crap out of everything in sight or be calm and strategize. If anybody ever actually needed to be filled in for some reason.

I call this amazingness Team Old People. IMO this team is flawless because they would just be so damn entertaining on so many levels. You have five extremely powerful and smart warriors with centuries of experience who have nothing to prove aside from sheer enjoyment of battle. Every one of them has expressed a passion for fighting because it's simply a joy for them, which means they wouldn't be playing it safe/boring. Seeing a master in action at practically anything is awesome, and not only that but they’d be willing to experiment and take risks and do things that are out there. A tournament is also a form of entertainment for the audience (both the real life audience and the one in the show), and that combined with their expert level combat skills means that I think they'd be so fantastic to watch. And all of them have distinct personalities that balance "I am an ancient demon with wisdom and stuff" VS "I love punching people (or getting punched) in the face!!" in different enough ways that they still offer really interesting character dynamics and interaction opportunities. And they would also be incredibly supportive of each other while still allowing for plenty of snark.

That said, FUN FUN FUN aside, the very obvious problem with this team is that they seriously break the question. And everything else. Even if they don’t intend to flat out obliterate everything, that’s what would probably happen, and that unfortunately can easily head towards its own kind of boring. Everyone would be like "why are we having a tournament, we're going home". So, we must leave Team Old People behind and move on to version B.

VERSION B: Serious business

Dark Tournament characters only. I will exclude members of the Toguro Team from my selection for obvious reasons. NO MORE FUN TIME. This is me pretending that I'm some rich underworld dude or whatever putting together a team I'm betting on to get through the tournament. You're going to see a clear pattern emerging from my picks.

Genkai.

The veteran. Intelligent, experienced, very powerful and pragmatic. I'd shell out big bucks to get her to come back to be my team's captain. No question for me, she's a must, even if all she does is sit on the sidelines and coach the rest of the team. With a group of serious, motivated and talented fighters, she'd be the best mentor and my team would be well-positioned to MAKE ME LOTS OF MONEY SO IN YOUR SMOKY SCARRED FACE SAKYO

Hiei.

Those who know me may find it shocking that I'm including Hiei but not Yusuke, Kuwabara, or Kurama. Hiei doesn't appear on my tumblr very often, and of the four main characters he's probably the one I'm least emotionally invested in. But if you're assembling a team for the Dark Tournament, you're IN IT TO WIN IT!! And Hiei is the best bet. I shall explain.

Hiei is efficient and effective, and his success ratio is the highest out of all Urameshi Team members - the most number of individual fights without a single loss or draw. Granted, he sits out for a chunk of the tournament, but he rarely appears worn out at the end of a fight. The only time he overexerts himself is against Zeru; after his recovery, he never seems to break a sweat. Even against Bui, he had no real issues. From a betting perspective, his odds are very, very good. Kuwabara and Kurama both experience multiple losses - Kuwabara often because he's young and overconfident or becomes so personally involved that he cares more for a positive outcome for other people than for winning; Kurama often because (as Hiei notes) he tends to overcalculate the situation and draw things out so long figuring everything out that it turns into a disadvantage. Yusuke's very strong and has huge potential, but he's also focused far too much on the experience. This makes his battles fun to watch but would give a strategist heart attacks. Many of his fights involve near-misses or less-than-ideal situations stemming from amateur errors. And finally, he gets dinged with a draw in his match with Jin, in part because his dawdling on the field made the deception feasible. Yusuke's great for drama and storytelling, not great for the comfort of my pocketbook. Having him on a team is risky when I know the other underworld bosses I'm competing against are not above using underhanded tactics.

As a result, based on a purely practical evaluation, Hiei is the most reliable choice. He's very focused on, and very good at, the one thing I want - DEFEAT THE OPPONENT UNEQUIVOCALLY. He comes in and tears people apart and there's no chance of an ambiguous referee call. He just needs his team members to be people he can respect to keep him in line. With Genkai as captain, that shouldn't be an issue. Nor with the rest of my picks.

Ryo (Kai in the anime) / M-3.

This is the Dr. Ichigaki member with the invisible claw powers. After their fight, he offers to be a replacement for the seriously injured Kuwabara (Yusuke appreciates it but has to turn him down because it's against the rules unless Kuwabara actually dies). He seems to be the strongest of the three students who were brainwashed by Ichigaki, and without Genkai's intervention and his own struggling against Ichigaki's mechanism, he would very likely have wiped out Kuwabara and Yusuke. He's extremely serious and dedicated, and with someone like Genkai steering the helm I think he'd go far. I'd be comfortable putting money on him. I also like him a lot and wish he had more involvement in the story - I've always felt that if Togashi didn’t need to get Koenma in for story purposes Yusuke hadn't been so freaked out and completely lost mentally when Genkai died, he probably would've asked Ryo to be the replacement fifth member. SOMEONE WRITE THIS

Touya.

Stronger than Gama, less arrogant than Risho, more reliable than Jin (who has many of the same problems as Yusuke), and Bakken sucks and will never be considered by anybody. Touya's powers are also very flexible. Somebody just needs to tell him to NOT TALK TO HIS OPPONENT. Don't talk to them, don't listen to them, don't let them distract you, don't let them get into your head, JUST GET IN THERE AND EYE ON THE PRIZE AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM OKAY lol. I also think when Genkai was training everyone for Kurama, Touya was probably the one who gave her the least hard time. I mean, out of Touya, Jin, Chuu, Rinku, Suzuki and Shishiwakamaru who do YOU think would bellyache the least? I thought so.

The fifth member is actually a backup/alternate who doesn't necessarily see action (if you recall, this is why Chuu was mad). For my final pick, I took a while to decide, so I'll tell you about both of the last two people I was considering since I enjoy any excuse to talk about characters I don’t usually see mentioned.

5a is Zeru. 

OK, partly I considered him because nobody remembers him lmao - he was Hiei's first victory, obliterated into a shadow by Hiei's training-wheels Kokuryuuha. But if you look at my other picks, I think you'll appreciate why he's on my radar - he fits the profile of what I'm looking for very nicely. I want someone in control of themselves; who is a reliable, consistent, focused fighter unlikely to get distracted by other things; who clearly demonstrates power and is committed and has potential to grow really fast with the right direction/team captain. The only thing is that with Hiei already on the team, this may be duplicating the skillset and the mental profile a bit too much. And I think it's clear Hiei already has the upperhand in baseline power. So,

5b is Suzuki. 

His strength isn't fighting. It's his ingenuity in adapting, augmenting, and outfitting his team members with really good, really creative tools. He's honestly more a tinkerer and an inventor, imaginatively tweaking things to be even more useful, and whenever he realizes and accepts this about himself instead of trying to be just another fighter in the limelight, he'll be rich lmao. Anyways, this skill makes him a hugely valuable asset. I don't need him to be in the ring, I'm fine having him support with cool gadgets to amplify the rest of the team.

I HOPE YOU LIKED MY PICKS lol

[briangroth27]

Back to the MCU Part 2: The X-men

I’m absolutely looking forward to Dark Phoenix and New Mutants—I’ve loved or really liked all of the X-men movies except two and I’m sad to see the franchise end—but I’m also looking forward to the X-men joining the MCU. I was skeptical of the fan insistence that Spider-man would be inherently better just because Homecoming was part of the MCU and I was proven wrong, but I’m still not sure that the X-men going home will be a magical improvement. The Fox-films aren’t perfect, but they’re not the worthless dreck a lot of people make them out to be either and it’ll be a shame to lose all the good things about them (unfortunately along with The Gifted in all likelihood). Still, this is what’s happening and I’ll always be excited for new X-men adventures: they’re my favorite comics and I love seeing them brought to life! In a perfect world, we’d get a new X-men TV series (heck, both a live-action one and a new animated series) because there are just too many characters to explore over a trilogy or two of movies, but for these purposes, I’m going to assume they’ll only be doing X-films.

Full spoilers for the Fox-verse and MCU up to this point....

X-men Origins How should mutants appear in the MCU? This is super-simple: they just do.

There’s always been a handful around, like Xavier, Magneto (their ages and Erik’s Holocaust experience can be explained by saying they knew a mutant who could rejuvenate others), Apocalypse, Shadow King, etc., but mutants are just now starting to appear en masse. They’re a new and mysterious global phenomenon. Importantly, they’re a natural evolution and the most “cause” that should ever be given is the real-life explanation for evolutionary mutation: a reaction a hostile environment. Sure, you could say Thanos’ Snap created that type of environmental condition, but no one should be responsible for making mutation happen. This is something I strongly believe has to hold true: mutants can’t be created in a lab somewhere or Snapped back into existence “wrong” or have their X-genes turned on by Scarlet Witch or something. If anything like that happens, mutants automatically lose their “we’re natural, normal, and we’re supposed to be here” argument. It’s why the Inhumans aren’t really a great substitute for the mutants-as-minorities metaphor: even though the present-day Inhumans were born that way, they can still be traced back to experiments the Kree conducted on humans. Mutants, however, are completely normal and exactly what they’re supposed to be. Also, it’s that lack of an “explanation” that scares normal people and separates mutants from the other superheroes in the MCU. Bigots can write off a radioactive spider bite or a gamma accident as powers that happened to “those poor people,” but the X-men showing up and saying “this is who we are naturally, our powers come from the core of our being, and we’re the future?” That scares them and brings out the hate. That last point is just as much a source of fear as the others: just look at how white supremacists in real life scream about “being replaced” by Jewish people, Muslims, immigrants, etc.

I’ve been asked on Twitter how the common MCU people would be able to tell that the X-men are any different from the Avengers (Thor vs. Storm was the example I was given), and the answer’s in the characters. Storm and the rest of the team would absolutely self-identify as mutants, feeling they shouldn’t have to pass as aliens/accidents for an easier life (in addition to their stated goal of proving that mutants can be trusted). With that pride and the insistence that mutants are the future, bigoted reactions would mimic LGBTQIA hate: "Why should we cater to a minority? They should be committed/cured, not supported, coddled, and allowed to continue living in their delusions,” etc. People's kids being mysteriously powered is also a much scarier concept than an alien the public barely interacts with (Ragnarok having civilians know about Thor and Jane’s relationship status still rings false to me, unless Darcy’s been blogging). Thor's an external anomaly to the everyday MCU citizen and while the Avengers might accidentally wreck your town, mutants could be in your family and are an intimate threat to The Way Things Are.

I’ve also been asked how you square Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver with Magneto if the X-men just appear now rather than being rebooted into the history of the MCU, and that’s simple too. They aren’t his kids anymore in the comics, so you might not even need to explore that connection in the movies. If they do want to, he could be a secret parent they didn’t know about. They still don’t have to be mutants since their origin is tied to Loki’s scepter. Either way, Wanda’s continued presence in the MCU is not a continuity deal-breaker.

First Class While the idea I’ve seen tossed around of the team suddenly snapping into view after Xavier has been psychically hiding them from the world for years would be a cool reveal, I don’t think they’ll want to burn all the A-list X-men by introducing them as adults. IMO, the X-men are going to be the backbone of multiple future MCU phases since the big-name Avengers are winding done, so they’re going to want to cast X-teens who can grow with the MCU. They’ll also want to start at the beginning and (hopefully) really dig into the team finding its groove, learning as they go. I’ve enjoyed the Fox prequel trilogy immensely so far, but jumping 10 years between each film takes the wind out of proper development arcs. Showing the team’s learning curve as superheroes would also set them apart from the Avengers, who have personality conflicts but essentially came to the team as polished heroes.

Fox’s prequel X-team is a pretty perfect lineup in terms of characters, so I wouldn’t change the core roster much (though I do expect everyone to be recast). We’d meet the X-men as they’re recruited, allowing the film to both touch on the world mutants are living in and to show who these kids were outside the mansion. That’ll not only show the healing effect of having other kids like them in their orbit, but will also emphasize how important the school is as a safe haven (and found family) from the rest of the world. One area where Fox’s films have fallen short (and The Gifted has excelled) is showing what the common people’s reaction to mutants is, rather than just sticking with the military’s thoughts, and I hope the MCU follows that show’s lead.

While every teenager (and even every adult) can relate to the X-men’s outsider status, mutants are also (and most importantly) supposed to represent the oppressed in our society and the next cast should reflect that. So, I’d do a lot of race and sexual orientation switches. For example, Cyclops should be Native Alaskan. He’s closely tied to that region in the comics, Summers isn’t the real family name (it was chosen by an immigrant ancestor in the comics and here could be an example of his family trying to assimilate), and the pressure to be a “model minority” would mesh perfectly with Scott’s constant drive to be a straight-laced boy scout who thinks he’d be useless if he failed. I’d let the comics’ subtext about Storm being bi or pansexual be text here. I’d also stick closer to her having been a “goddess” as well as a thief; she should be the one mutant in history that ruled humans without fear or violence so she can be a voice of reason and experience on the team. Nightcrawler could be updated into a swashbuckling street performer who’s a little internet-famous (part of a growing mutant youth subculture) in addition to his religious struggles. He could also be a positive role model in how he embraces and celebrates his physical differences (like he did on X-men Evolution), no matter who calls him a demon. Kurt could be any race as long as he’s from Germany, though I kinda like the idea of one of the few white guys being blue the whole time. Rouge would definitely start out as a villain if I were writing it. She doesn’t necessarily need to be white and making her an African-American teen from Mississippi could grant her a whole new perspective on the mutants-as-minorities idea: her loss of memories and self could reflect the black American experience of not knowing where your ancestors came from or what their culture was. I also think her reaction to meeting a literal queen who’s also a black woman would be pretty great; Storm could be a role model for her once she starts to reform (and maybe punk Storm could come from interacting with Rogue’s more fun-loving persona). Those new aspects could potentially bolster the outsider feeling she’ll already have thanks to her powers acting like a disease that forbids her from making unencumbered contact with others, so she could be relatable on several fronts.

New Mutants Scott, Ororo, Kurt, and Rogue would be my core team throughout all the films, but there’d be room for others as well. Jean’s another favorite of mine and it’d be cool to see her without the Phoenix as a predetermined end-point in mind for a while. I’ve seen it pointed out on Twitter that one of her biggest assets is her empathy, so let her use that to promote human/mutant understanding and use her comic origin story to drive her towards not letting anyone die. Gambit would be a lot of fun (and, in keeping with making things more diverse, the movies could go through with an intended comic development that he’d be bi), but I would definitely not adapt his charm power: there’s just too much room for that to get rapey to even try including it (plus, he shouldn’t need a power to be charming). Being a roguish thief with a heart of gold would play well against both the X-men and the gruff Wolverine when he’s introduced. Jubilee is more than deserving of a larger, more active role after being a glorified cameo so many times; maybe she eventually becomes the PR face of the school? Iceman’s always been another favorite of mine and his deep-seated denial of his homosexuality would bring another realistic touch to the team. Polaris, X-23, Honey Badger, Eclipse, Quicksilver (who I guess is dead, though; it’s a shame we have to leave the superior cinematic one behind in the Fox-verse), Domino, Bishop, Beast, Firestar, Psylocke, Shadowcat, etc. …the list of great characters in this franchise goes on and on and they’d all be welcome; this is why there needs to be a show, not just films!

Logan, the Wolverine We should get to Wolverine at some point—he’s another one of my favorites and there’s no denying he’s the most popular mutant—and I’d play up the parallels between him and Scott rather than focus on the love triangle with Jean. But first, I want them to hold off on Logan and maybe not even introduce him until something like the third movie. Let the rest of the team breathe and become an ensemble before reintroducing a new Wolverine, who’ll instantly be saddled with comparisons to arguably the most iconic version of the character: Hugh Jackman’s. They’d spend most of their time justifying the new Logan and I worry that the rest of the characters would be sidelined again. Instead, let’s see all of them get the chance to be as fleshed-out and celebrated as Logan is, then add him in and watch as the franchise gets even bigger from there. Maybe a way around Logan stealing the X-spotlight is to do something unorthodox (yet with enough comic precedence to appease the fans) and introduce him in an Avengers movie first. Maybe the Avengers could take the place of Alpha Flight in the MCU (or maybe they’d do something totally unexpected and just make an Alpha Flight movie). Personally I’d like to see a Logan who was absolutely horrible in his past—an animal occasionally pointed in the right direction—who then had the mind-wipe truly make him a better person who’s out to atone for a life he doesn’t remember. I think that would be compelling and would make the mind-wipe matter. Edit: I thought it might work to make Logan a POC to reflect real-life atrocities and experimentation carried out against minorities, but “violent rage machine who becomes a hero after (probably white) scientists torture him and erase his identity” would be a terrible message since you could say it argues they improved him. If he were innocent before Weapon X it would be different (and possibly a comment on the damage white people have inflicted on just about everyone else); I guess it depends on what they want Logan's story to be and what effect Weapon X has on him (and there should be an effect, not that X-men Origins nonsense where he's essentially the same person on both sides of it). If he's an angry white guy who's improved by forgetting who he was/the society that made him that way, that could be an interesting comment on the white male rage we see so much of today too.

Dark Phoenix, Apocalypse (and other X-threats) I definitely don’t want to see Magneto right away (though he’s the best villain in fiction). On film, we need a break from him (though if they wanted to make him Xavier’s co-leader of the X-men for an extended period, I’d be interested). I genuinely liked Mystique’s character development into just that position in the prequel films, but when she returns in the MCU it should be as a villain first (and certainly as Kurt’s mom—or why not his dad, as originally planned?—and Rogue’s adoptive mother). Stryker, the Sentinels, and the Phoenix Saga should all be held off until far down the road as well.

I wish I could remember who on Twitter suggested it, but I love the idea of using conversion therapy as the basis for an X-men villain, so that’s how I’d open the series (let’s call these films The Uncanny X-men, for argument’s sake). Use Mesmero as one of two main villains, mind-controlling mutants into thinking that they don’t have powers to the point where they subconsciously shut down their access to them (like Iceman did to himself after House of M). Do this through Legion-esque twisty, mind-bending psychic sequences (so we can see each character’s inner fears and character traits), but mixed with real-world conversion therapy horrors. Once Mesmero’s phase is completed, the “cured” mutants are thrown into an elaborate deathtrap/maze to make sure they can’t access their powers anymore…this would be a Murderworld designed by an updated Arcade! That would provide the bombastic third act after the Mesmero stuff gives us some great character work. Xavier sends the team in to investigate this process (maybe it’s set on Genosha) and they meet Rogue there, who’s also undercover but for Mystique, out to kill everyone involved whereas the X-men want to expose the torture and shut it down peacefully to be a good example. You could start to argue whether the X-men being upstanding superheroes allows them to go far enough with a third party like Rogue/the Brotherhood.

My second movie would feature Mr. Sinister and his attempts to keep up with mutants by experimenting on himself to give himself powers. I’d make it a cultural appropriation metaphor, by having Sinister create agents for the government (the Freedom Force seems like an appropriate right-wing name and it looks like they might be needed to step in where the Avengers leave off after Endgame) who are heroes and celebrated by the public, whereas the X-men are still hated. The X-men would of course resent the popular “mutates” taking what made them special and being celebrated for it while they’re still hated. If the first movie is about the X-men fighting to prove they should be here, the second would be about mutants establishing their own culture (and the burgeoning mutant subculture would absolutely be a part of this). It’d also be about humans artificially clinging to relevance and fearing losing their status in society (extremely relevant to a huge problem with white society in America today), while larger sci-fi themes about moving toward the future of humanity via evolution are explored through Sinister. Sinister’s base would absolutely be in the Savage Land so we could see X-men vs. dinosaurs: in addition to just being fun and cool (and big business, if the Jurassic World movies are any indication), dinosaurs would metaphorically represent the human race. They’d be a constant reminder of the extinction and irrelevance Sinister is trying to outthink. Perhaps Sauron could be a minor villain in that setting. Since I wouldn’t want to do Phoenix yet, a Madelyne Prior story might be better for this new era (maybe she’s one of Sinister’s Freedom Force mutates). If they don’t want to do the Captain Marvel/Rogue animosity—and I’m not sure I want to see Carol lose her memories and herself again, though you could create a bond between the two of them over Carol being manipulated by the Kree and Rogue by Mystique (maybe that’s how they’d finally resolve their hatred?)—another of Sinister’s mutates being called Warbird and having flight/super-strength would be a fine substitute for Rogue to get her iconic powers and send her to the X-men for help.

As we get into Uncanny 3, I’d do Onslaught, but a more streamlined version that doesn’t involve the Heroes Reborn thing. I’d rather it be confined to the X-men, but since we’re in the MCU now it’d be a good opportunity for the teams to team up. My Onslaught wouldn’t be a Magneto/Xavier mind-meld, but a Xavier who finally lost hope in his dream and decided to force humans to accept mutants. I think Xavier screwing with the team, implanting false memories to manipulate them, sow discord, etc. would be a lot of fun…and a chance to have Rogue be the big damn hero because of her mental training to suss out her actual personality (in these films I’d dedicate time to the team actively helping her try to control her abilities and rediscover herself). A psychic threat would also be a nice bookend to the team’s first film and a response to “how impactful can the X-men be as true-blue heroes?,” while defeating Xavier would be a natural end to this chapter as the team goes on to new adventures under Scott and Ororo’s leadership.

Once we’ve explored new threats, I’m fully open to digging into Magneto, Apocalypse (hopefully maintaining his “I’m trying to save you all by forcing conflict to evolve you” delusion), Stryker, the Sentinels, Mystique, Shadow King, Juggernaut, Sabretooth, Omega Red (who hasn’t been used yet), etc. again. Whatever they do, I hope the MCU goes big and explores all facets of the X-universe, like Genosha, Asteroid M, the Morlocks, the Brood, Madripoor, Mojo, etc. The X-world is a rich one unto itself, so Disney should let it shine and really flesh out the MCU beyond the real-world boundaries they’ve lived in so far and are only just now starting to venture from (at least on Earth). When we do get to Phoenix again, I hope it’ll be a natural evolution and Jean’s quest to make the world better so no one has to die again, not a cosmic space bird trying on feelings or a secret evil split personality (as an early X3 idea pitched, my Jean would evolve into the comics’ cosmic force).

United I absolutely don’t want some sort of Avengers vs. X-men thing. Who wants the Avengers turned into the militant arm of a bigoted government or something? No matter how you slice it, the X-men represent minorities/PoC/the oppressed, so making the Avengers fight them just seems wrong and automatically tips them toward being agents of oppression. If you lean too far into “mutant powers really are dangerous” to justify the Avengers fighting them, the X-men lose their social relevance. At “best,” you’ll have the Avengers making an argument along the lines of “protests that cause property damage are just as bad as the racists/social inequality they’re protesting,” which is not a good look for anyone. Plus, I’m just sick of heroes fighting heroes.

I wouldn’t do House of M or X-men vs. Inhumans either: extinction events not perpetrated by bigots trying to pull off genocide undercut the metaphor of mutancy. The X-men represent oppressed minorities, not snow leopards.

Deadpool: The Last Stand While it would be absolutely crazy if Dark Phoenix ended with Jean re-creating the Fox-Earth into the MCU or something, I don’t think the Fox-verse will get that kind of send-off. Aside from Dark Phoenix, New Mutants (which looks very spooky-cool but who knows if it will be released in theaters or on Hulu), and The Gifted (which will almost certainly be cancelled, sadly) the big dangling thread of the Fox-verse is the still-popular Deadpool. Legion will be ending after Season 3 and I think it’s safe to say Gambit, Shadowcat, Multiple Man, etc. are dead at this point, and that’s probably for the best if Disney wants to create a unified vision and start fresh.

However, a Deadpool 3 (or X-Force) film should definitely still happen, and I have an idea to help the characters (and actors) we love from those movies make the jump to the MCU intact. I think DP3/X-Force should be an adventure on Mojoworld! Deadpool’s probably the only live-action property that would be willing to go all-in on Mojo, so they should be the one to take the dive (especially now that Shatterstar’s mentioned it exists). Everyone gets abducted and the writers can go extremely meta with it. They could structure it similarly to the first Mojo episode of the 90s X-men cartoon, but with jokes about Hollywood’s obsession with sequels, reboots, and the franchise wars (as well as society’s relationship with the media). They could also joke about fan fears about Disney making them PG-13 (though I think those fears are unfounded), via some Good Place-esque censorship. Mojo’s televised world could also allow for cameos galore from the Fox-films, including the much-desired Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds team-up. This isn’t how I’d prefer to see those actors together for the last time, but since it seems like the only option I’d take it. And at the end of this Mojoverse adventure? The Fox-verse is “cancelled,” leaving Wade and friends to be dumped into the MCU. You could cherry-pick the Fox timeline for favorites to save here: Wade, Domino, Negasonic, Colossus, Blind Al, Vanessa, Cable, Dopinder, both Yukios, and Laura/X-23 would all be welcome IMO (alternatively, I’ll take people like Zazie Beetz and Dafne Keen getting cast as Domino and Laura again in the MCU, just with new origins). If there’s a way to get The Gifted characters—especially Polaris and Eclipse—to the MCU too (if Blink’s season 2-ending portal doesn’t do it and make that group the MCU’s Exiles; seeing them come from a hardened anti-mutant world into an MCU where mutants are just starting to pop up in large numbers would be a really cool switch for them), I’m all for that as well. You could even give X-Force’s appearance in the MCU some narrative impact by forcing Xavier to accelerate his plan for the X-men to go public to counteract Deadpool’s team in the public eye, since Wade is not the guy you want at the center of the mutant rights effort.

Days of Future Past I realize most of this won’t happen (especially my ideas for the movies, but hey Disney, if you want some X-novels give me a call), but it’s a vision of the X-Franchise’s future I’d like to see. The big things are that mutants should just appear naturally, Disney should be open to casting and writing the characters more diversely than they’ve been in the comics (a consideration I’d extend to the franchise’s creators behind the scenes and soundtrack as well, though the main theme should absolutely be the 90s Animated Series theme!), and the MCU should take the time to dig into every aspect of the franchise rather than immediately hitting beats Fox has already covered. There are a lot of socially-relevant angles to tackle the X-men world with, and I want to see them all explored. The Disney/Fox deal is officially finalized on March 20, so we’ll soon see how the X-men will fit in. 

Whatever happens, I’m excited to see Dark Phoenix and I can’t wait to see more X-adventures in the MCU!

What do you think? What do you want to see from the X-men in the MCU?

Check out more of my theories, reviews, and original short stories here!

[parugi]

My time in the Jedi Academy RPG community

Alternative title: How I helped destabilize four forums worth of RPG players!

So I recently started posting my first let’s play, and the game I decided to play first is Jedi Academy. My reason for going with this game was not random by any means. In some ways, I attribute many of my current set of interests and skills to it--and not for particularly great reasons. Still, I can’t deny the impact it has had on me, and I feel like it’s worth it to share the absolutely insane experience that I had in the Jedi Academy RPG community back in like, 2003 to 2005ish.

I’ll be the first to admit that some of this is going to sound... very outlandish, but I guarantee that it is all 100% true as far as I can remember it. Unfortunately, for the most part, I only have my word to share, because the forums that hosted all of the evidence for this have been either shut down or archived when InvisionFree/ZetaBoards shifted over to “Tapatalk.”

Anyway, bear with me. This is me performing a sort of self-therapy after 16 years of half-repressing the memories. I’m also not sure quite where to begin, so this might jump around a bit. Again, please bear with me.

For a bit of backstory--Jedi Academy is a Star Wars game. It’s built on a system that is very mod-friendly and possessed a rather large multiplayer community back when it first released--dozens and dozens of servers with up to something like 36 players each, many of which were always full and impossible to get into. And the mod community thrived, too--there were hundreds of downloadable maps, vehicles, character skins, even mods that changed battle stances and mechanics. It was neat.

One mod in particular was called ForceMod 3, which completely revamped the multplayer so that you could select between different classes to play instead of having just a bucket of things to choose without any nuance--from Jedi Apprentices, to Jedi Masters, to smugglers, to Imperial officers followed by Stormtrooper NPCs, even a custom Yuuzong Vong class with its own adjusted mechanics. Each came with its own number of Force points, its own designated weapons, even differences in health/shield distribution. Obviously, this made it perfect for role-playing, and more than one set of users recognized this.

I don’t know exactly when or how my brother and I discovered FM3, but at some point I logged on and noticed something different about the servers being run on it. For one, there were not as many; the most I ever saw was 8 at a time, quite different from the standard 30+ on vanilla multiplayer. More than that, there were servers designated as “RPG” servers, a term I, at the time, had never encountered before. When I first discovered this, there were only three big RPG servers:

ForceMod 3 RPG Server

((RPG_Server))

and one whose name I do not remember; it was something like Jedi Enclave

The third does not matter as much, because it only suffered from the following series of events as a side-effect of the other two causing them. But we’ll get to that.

Also of note, this list would later include [[RPG_Network]]--my server.

Keep that in mind. Its resemblance to ((RPG_Server)) is not an accident.

Also keep in mind that I was 9/10ish at the time.

So, back to the list. I saw these “RPG servers” and joined one--((RPG_Server)). It didn’t click to me that it wasn’t the same as a free-for-all server at first, but I soon realized the difference when I noticed that people weren’t just randomly going around and killing each other. They were interacting as if they were characters.

That was interesting.

Interesting, and yet I thought nothing of it.

A couple of days later, though, I decided to give it a try. And it was fun! And interesting! I got to pretend to be a Jedi instead of just playing as a Jedi! Nice! That was in ((RPG_Server)). And it was super relaxed! Basically we got to do whatever, as long as we were playing characters. It was a nice community, and it got me hooked to RPGs, which I continue to play to this day.

They also had a forum. I would later join it.

But first, I had something to learn about RPG communities: They are not all fun and games.

((RPG_Server)) was not always up; sometimes it would not appear on the list. Usually, but not always. One day it wasn’t there--but FM3RPG was. That was fine; these RPG servers were all pretty lax, right? I’d just join it and do as I do, right?

Wrong.

I joined it, I did my thing--and got pretty immediately kicked.

FM3RPG was more of an “elitist” server--they took their RPG very seriously. That meant that you couldn’t play as certain classes without approval. In fact, unless I’m remembering incorrectly, you could not join the server at all without first getting a character approved on the forum. This was not a simple process, particularly for a 9 year old. They expected an elaborate character sheet to be submitted, with a full history and details down to the character’s height and weight.

I joined the forum. I submitted a character. I didn’t get approved.

That’s fine. ((Server)) was back up, so I went there and joined the forum, and that was dandy. But that also made me not like FM3RPG, so I didn’t go back there. I did ghost their forum, though, and it became clear that they held a low opinion of ((Server)) because ((Server)) wasn’t as stringent as FM3RPG.

IMO, that was a blessing. But not everyone thought that way.

Quick side-note--FM3RPG had a specific moderator who became infamous within the community for many, many reasons. This person went by Naru. Naru was petty to the point of banning players for expressing political views that they did not agree with.

Keep Naru in mind.

I don’t have a great recollection of what all occurred in ((RPG_Server)) before everything went to shit, but I think it was mostly fine. There were a set of three mods who had created the place, and these were the only mods/admins when I joined. They were Subrerec, Mose, and I think Maverick was the third one? They would later be joined by Marrin (replacing Tarrin, who supposedly died in a car accident about a month in (and I only say supposedly because Marrin and Tarrin were... suspiciously similar people in hindsight) and Aitrus, my friend who actually was very helpful in showing me the ropes.

Later-later, they would be joined by Docco.

Oh, Docco.

Docco was actually my friend for a while. Pretty much everyone was, actually. It was a good community when I first joined. But I was not good at accepting changing times, so that didn’t last--and here’s why.

The first crack in the structure, so to speak, came from a really petty conflict. There were these official profile avatars available on the Jedi Academy website. Subrerec, Mose, and Mav all had one, as did Marrin. I liked them, so I used one. It got reverted. I thought that was weird so used it again. Mose reverted it again and gave me a warning because “Only the mods got to use those.”

Twas a very petty thing to get someone in trouble over, and it made me dislike Mose. But whatever, find a different avatar and move on.

The second crack was a certain player named Dorian Remedy. Dorian was an... immigrant of sort from FM3RPG. He had played there and then joined ((Server)). Note, however, that he didn’t leave FM3RPG, he merely also joined ((Server)).

He was also the biggest fucking prick that I have ever had the displeasure to encounter to this day.

His modus operanti was to criticize. Not in a constructive way, either, but in the rudest way possible. And I say that even with hindsight. Dorian made no effort whatsoever to come off with any sort of empathy or tact, because he didn’t care--he was the embodiment of the elitism that pervaded FM3RPG. Anyone who wasn’t interested in a more structured RPG system, he couldn’t be bothered to give the time of day to, because they were too incompetent to understand why FM3RPG’s system was superior.

I was one of those people. Because I was 9. Do I think differently now? Certainly. At the time? No. And would I act anything like he did if I were in that boat? Hell no.

The problem with Dorian was that it didn’t matter how rude he was, because the mods, particularly Mose, agreed with him and wanted to revamp ((Server)) into a lighter version of FM3RPG. That itself was not a problem, but because of it, they would not take any sort of action against Dorian regardless of how he talked to anyone. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but I feel as though that would drive anyone insane.

Dorian would cause many, many problems for me, personally, but he did not cause this particular incident that really broke the camel’s back.

At some point, I had suggested to Subrerec and Mose the introduction of the Sith into the plot. It was a surprisingly good idea for a kid, imo, and I was allowed to do it. So I created a Sith Lord and chose an apprentice. That was my friend Docco.

And that was cool. I had fun. Until I didn’t.

One night I logged on and had this really brief message from Docco and someone else whose name I don’t even remember. It basically just said, “We need you to log on ASAP.”

So I did, because I was 9 and didn’t think to ask questions.

Turns out, they were performing a Sith coup.

They killed my Sith and overthrew me and I wasn’t allowed to do anything about it. I felt hurt and angry and betrayed because they hadn’t given me any indication of what they were planning. I like to think that if they had, I would have been fine with it, but who knows? I was 9, so maybe, or maybe not. Hard to tell.

The short of it is, Dorian made fun of me, Mose didn’t care, Docco didn’t apologize, and I was pissed off. There were some players on my side and some who weren’t. What erupted after that was basically an all-out war of constant fighting and name calling and getting suspended and everything. In a matter of weeks--or maybe days? Months? Time is an abyss--the forum had gone from something great to just this cesspool of people constantly at each others’ throats.

I was mad and decided to split off and make my own forum with my brother (also involved in all of this, unfortunately) and a friend who went by Mara Jade. We made a forum called RPG: Palace of RPers (a very not-redundant name) and it lasted about a week before Mara Jade gave admin rights to Dorian, who proceeded to change everything and locked the three of us out.

So that was the second betrayal by a friend in less than two weeks. I did not talk to Mara Jade after that. And I was stuck in ((Server)) because I am not a quitter--even at 9.

Around this same time, someone else joined the forum, and this is where things went from just a singular forum issue and cross-contaminated the entire community.

FM3RPG ousted Naru. Naru’s already tenuous popularity had tanked. And why? For a couple of reasons. One, Naru was not a teen girl, as she had claimed, but a 30-something year old man. On top of that revelation, it came out that Naru had engaged in cybersex with several underage children.

So Naru was banned from FM3RPG.

Someone named Cassandra joined ((Server)).

Immediate. Chaos.

Some people figured out pretty quickly that they were the same person. Some were doubtful but said they should get a chance even if it was true. Some just did not believe it.

I was 9 and did not believe it.

I did not believe it because Cassandra was on my side in the Sith debacle and was nice to me and Dorian, Docco, and Mose did not like her so therefore I should like her.

Docco and Mose tried to convince me otherwise and I ignored them because I was mad at them about my Sith. Dorian continued to make fun of me.

More and more people were starting to catch on, though, and at some point it was just me left defending Cassandra. Around that time, my brother and I made another forum, with help from some different friends (Reverser, Bane, Heero, Inuyasha, Duo, and Cyran Ciin--remember that last one). This was [[RPG_Network]]. We set it up and actually were able to host a server on occasion because of Reverser. So that was cool--we were sort of official.

But there was still the Cassandra issue.

I can only guess that Docco and Mose and others were just frustrated with trying to--what I realize in hindsight--protect us from an actual, straight-up child predator. I say this because they joined the [[Network]] forum and just started causing chaos, spamming and using what I consider highly disgusting images for their avatars and signatures.

They made it pretty clear what would make them stop, and that was banning Cassandra.

Which I did, but not because of their stipulation.

Around the time we got our server running, ForceMod 3 updated and did something... interesting. Whenever someone joined a server, it would show that they were joining, and it would show their IP address. At some point, Naru joined a server--don’t remember which one--and we got a picture of “her” IP.

IPs were also visible to admins of InvisionFree forums.

Naru and Cassandra had the same IP.

She tried to tell me that it was done via proxy, but even a 9 year old can experience clarity.

So I banned Cassandra from [[Network]].

I’m lucky to say that I had this revelation before anything bad happened. So I have that to be thankful for.

Anyway.

((Server)) shifted officially to a strict system like FM3RPG. It still bore the ire of FM3RPG because FM3RPG was the only “real” RPG server. Dorian got what he wanted and made sure to lord that over everyone. I didn’t want to stay, so I left and went to [[Network]].

And you know? That could have been the end of it. It really could have. But people like Dorian can’t just let kids be. So instead of letting the servers coexist--maybe not peacefully, but certainly coexist--he instead made a point of popping onto [[Network]] not infrequently to throw his weight and insults around.

I wanted to ban him, others wanted to give him his chances.

That splintered the [[Network]] admins.

Some other things also splintered the [[Network]] admins, including these key points:

Revenge of the Sith had come out pretty recently and some of us, myself included, thought a Jedi Purge copycat would be cool. Others did not. None of us agreed on what to do.

Inuyasha did this plot in [[Network]] where a 17ish year old Jedi apprentice got captured by a Hutt and violated by said Hutt’s Twi’lek slave. It was not vague what happened. I was not a fan.

Myself and Bane concocted a plot to kill multiple characters. This included multiple of Inuyasha’s characters. Bane later went public with this. This was very hypocritical of me and I am now ashamed of my involvement. It stemmed entirely from the previous point.

Everything after this is kind of a blur. The [[Network]] stuff was going on in 2005 just before my family moved to Oregon, and after we moved I kind of just dropped out--mainly because all of this drama had spread so far and wide that a large chunk of the entire RPG playerbase had up and quit. That and I’m pretty sure my account was banned from ((Server)) at some point. I do know that during that time, my remaining Jedi character was killed in their Jedi Purge. I do have to give Dorian some credit for giving Master Kyle South a cool death scene, if nothing else.

Anyway, [[Network]] was basically dead by the time we moved, ((Server)) was barely on its last leg, and FM3RPG was ruined because of Dorian’s attitude across Network, Server, and Enclave (which also just died without much fanfare). At some point my brother attempted a revival of [[Network]], but that did not really take off and the entire thing just became a board full of spam.

Buuut that revival was after a certain event that served, I think, as just the final nail in the coffin.

And that was caused by one Cyran Ciin.

I was not around to witness this, but here is what I understand occurred:

Cyran Ciin did something to [[Network]]. This basically killed it. I don’t know what he did exactly, just that there was something done.

This got him in the good graces of Mose, and he became an admin on ((Server))’s forum.

However, Cyran Ciin was actually also from FM3RPG originally, and had a thing against ((Server)) and the other RPG servers. So, now an admin, he was free to just completely demolish ((Server))’s forum.

Just, everything moved into a trash bin, the forums rearranged, the background changed to a spam image, and all of the other mods and admins revoked of their privileges.

Karma? Maybe. 

Additional karma? Those actions getting Cyran Ciin banned from FM3RPG.

He didn’t care, though. He thought it was hilarious. I think he was an actual sociopath.

Anyway, FM3RPG was done. Their players had a reputation now and no one wanted to be associated with them. That’s my assumption, anyway. They might’ve just died to time like everyone else.

It doesn’t matter, though. The FM3 RPG community was dead--r.i.p 2003-2006ish.

There is an epilogue of a sort.

((Server))’s forums and [[Network]]’s forums were dead, but not gone--for a while. I found I was able to get back to both by correctly recalling their addresses--s6_invisionfree.com/rpg_server and I believe it was z11_invisionfree.com/rpg_network. Neither works now, of course, but they did for a time.

My brother gave me his login information for Network, so I was able to look around and see all the great things I had missed after the reboot. Luckily everything else was gone--during the reboot they had completely wiped the forums of everything from the first run, including the evidence of what I had done as a bad admin. That was nice. But I didn’t like what I saw, so I locked the forum, forgot the login information, and only occasionally looked at it via a throwaway account that I had made under the name of boxabox (password: boxabox).

The forum is gone with the change to Tapatalk, so that information is all useless now.

The real “heartwarming” epilogue comes from ((Server)). For a while, again, the forums remained accessible, and so I logged on back in like, 2013 or 2014. Surprisingly there was a thread that ran for a few days where someone was basically like “yo anyone still around?” A few people responded, including Docco, which was astounding. No Dorian, which was great.

Somehow I still remembered my login and password (although I don’t now) and decided to post on there.

The initial response was, unsurprisingly, not friendly, but long story short, Docco and I made amends and never spoke again after that.

By what I am sure is sheer coincidence, the forum got locked only a couple of weeks later, with only admin access enabled. So everything from there was already gone, and is now double-gone with the switch to Tapatalk.

I did discover that FM3RPG’s forum remains open, though. I won’t link to it because I don’t want to, but if you really want to, you can certainly find it--no login required.

Aaand that’s that. That’s my sordid history with the Jedi Academy RPG community. I won’t say I killed it, because that would be taking way too much burden of the responsibility, but... Well, let’s just say that I found a wikipedia-esque article about this same community several years back and I was mentioned as an important figure in everything that transpired. I have no idea where that page is now, but hey, it existed at some point, so I gotta own it.

Peace.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 13x03 “Patience”

(an episode in which everyone tries their hand at parenting, and only Sam and Jody succeed imo)

05:45pm

i would’ve been here earlier but the power was out

right now we’re running the generator so we have water and can cook dinner, but it may go out again at some point

I’M SO EXCITED CAS IS BACK CAS IS BACK LET’S DO THIS

patience is literally my middle name (but in arabic - “Subburah”) hghfghh 

-

05:46

first shot in the recap is STABBITTY STAB i’m upset

-

05:47

ew wraiths and their creepy freeze-dried tentacle fingers

-

05:48

the fact jack is a parallel to both sam and cas, and yet dean wants to kill him, makes me feel emotions

-

05:50

OH NO

I HOPE SHE LIVES

-

05:50

THIS IS sTRESSING ME OUT SO MUCH

I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I HATE SEEING WOMEN IN DISTRESS

kudos to this actress then i guess

-

05:53

MISSOURI MISSOURI I’D KNOW THAT VOICE ANYWHERE OH MY GOD JADHSHDFSHDF

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-

05:54

laughing at the sign in the background

“it’s back!”

YES SHE IS

(how dare you refer to her as an “it”, background sign)

-

05:55

kelly: “you have an angel watching over you”

I CRY

I CRY INSIDE SO MUCH

‘CAUSE LIKE............. MARY SAID IT TO DEAN

AND NOW CAS IS GONE

AND AAAAAH

-

05:57

dean is such a mess oh no

-

05:57

wait is this even the episode where cas is back? or is that next week

hnhgnhh i wish i knew

just seems like this is a pretty solid episode by itself and cas would seriously distract from all these ladies

(although..........both would be good. both would be perfect)

(give me an episode that can do both)

-

06:00

i wanna hug jody so bad. she just looks so pleasant

i mean i did hug kim rhodes several times but OH MY GOD WHAT A GOOD HUG

she wouldn’t let go!!! she just kept hugging even though i kept flinching because i’m not good with physical contact and i wasn’t sure how long i was allowed to hug aND SHE LET ME HUG AND SNIFFLE ON HER SHOULDER BECAUSE I WAS PANICKING

IN CONCLUSION: DEAN NEEDS A JODY HUG

actually ?? in terms of hugs i’ve had in my life, kim rhodes ranks right up there with my sister and mother. like, third best hug i've ever had. which is saying something

-

06:03

dean: “i’m not sure which one to hug first”

I FEEL YA

;a; i’m so delighted i love this

look at all these cute mom friends dean has

(although someone on my dash was vehemently suggesting jody is too hot to be the boys’ mother figure. while i agree, SHE CAN BE A HOT MOM FRIEND IT’S FINE <3)

-

06:05

look at this light fixture lookin’ like a uterus

-

06:07

are we ever gonna see more telekinestic!sam ?

i wrote a fic that i never finished, maybe one day

-

06:08

JAMES NOO

i don’t get why people don’t believe in psychics. like.........people have so many abilities, why does belief stop when it can’t be explained by science yet? james must’ve grown up with missouri doing all her magic and seen that it’s true?? and yet?? hm

(edit: i had an inkling that wasn’t the reason, and it wasn’t)

-

06:11

missouri: “you save my family, you hear me, dean winchester?”

on the one hand, cool

but on the other hand, PLEASE DON’T PUT THAT EXPECTATION ON HIM HE’S FRAGILE AND IF HE FAILS IT’S MORE PAIN FOREVER

“and thank you”

that softens it a bit but barely

-

06:13

jack: “i can’t do this, and you keep staring at me, waiting”

I FEEL FOR DEAN AND JACK SO BADLY

parental expectation is SO MUCH

i have tears in my eyes

-

“you stay here, try to relax”

sam is a good bean

-

06:14

power’s out again?? my sister just came home from the dog walk and turned the generator off for some reason??

-

06:17

i refuse to believe that missouri dies

robert berens is better than that. or at least i hope there wasn’t a season-long plot arc that includes no missouri

-

06:18

she’s not dead

nope nope nope nope nope

nope nope

nope

-

06:19

i love these girls already

-

06:21

nope nope nope nope nope nope

WHY IS SHE DEAD NOOOO NO

NO NONONI

WHY BRING HER BACK TO KILL HER YOU MONSTERS 

WHO DECIDED THIS

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

look it’s not just that i liked the character, missouri was a) a person of colour and b) a woman who survived and NOW SHE’S DEAD

I THOUGHT THE WRITERS WOULD’VE LEARNED THAT’S NOT A GOOD WAY TO FURTHER A STORY BY NOW

WHERE’S HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

WHY WAS SHE JUST “REPLACED” BY A YOUNGER HOTTER GRANDDAUGHTER

I WANT BADASS MONSTER-FIGHTING OLD LADIES ON MY SCREEN ;n;

-

06:27

YEEEEE KICK HIM

-

06:29

it’s weird how much i relate to patience

bookworm named patience with lowkey psychic abilities and no interest in dating

-

06:31

SAM READING PARENTING BOOKS

-

06:34

sam is such a fast learner, he figured out his parenting technique ain’t working and he backed off

sam is the parent we all need(ed)

-

06:36

sam: “dean...cas... my family helped me through that”

cas is included in this and mary isn’t

interesting

-

06:40

missouri: “no matter what happens, no matter where i go, i will always look out for you, you hear??”

;A;

-

06:42

i like this music as james is going through his box

-

06:48

AW MAN NOT JAMES TOO

I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS EPISODE BUT THIS IS SO DISAPPOINTING

why can’t there be a nice happy psychic black family who hunt monsters and live to the end of the episode

why can’t we have that

-

06:49

JODY

NO

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

-

06:50

THIs has gotta be a psychic vision right

patience is having a vision and she sees what’s going to happen so she can prevent it

that’s the only thing i choose to believe

fuck this, this isn’t real

-

06:52

dean’s down

yeah this ain’t real

i can relax

-

06:53

dean picks up a rope and i’m like DEAN IS WONDER WOMAN ALSO

-

06:55

and patience is psychic in the way missouri wasn’t, she can pull the future out of thin air

personally i have the psychic dreams but never see the events coming when they happen for real, i only know afterwards that i knew it was going to happen. kinda useless really

-

06:57

so much about parenting in this episode

jody and sam are the best parents, objectively

-

06:59

dean is a such a shitty emotionally abusive parent tbh

cas, get a divorce and take the kid somewhere safe already

-

07:01

dean [angry shouting]: “it got him dead. now you may be able to forget about that, but i can’t”

;~;

-

07:02

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAS

-

07:03

SO...... CAS IS IN THE UPSIDE DOWN

BASICALLY

(if you haven’t seen ‘stranger things’ already you need to)

-

07:03

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CAS IS BACK, SORT OF

YEEEEEEEEEEEE JACK AND HIS EMOTIONALLY CHARGED POWERS

-

07:04

well it’s over

and i’m............unsure what i feel about this

this story was okay. i feel like it could’ve been stronger. i appreciate that we never had to suffer through watching missouri die, but i feel like she could’ve gone out fighting rather than just accepting her fate. (i liked the sass she gave the wraith though)

my face is kind of sneering in distaste of its own volition so i guess i didn’t enjoy this very much?

but feelings aside.... 

actually no, everything is emotions, i have no rational input

i’d give this 8/10 i suppose. patience’s friend was great, i liked her fun energy, and i hope she’s in the spin-off show (there’s a spin-off happening, right?? with patience??). jody was great too, always is. sam was great. dean was a SHITTY HUMAN BEING but i guess he’s just completely messed up by losing cas & co.

god i hope they go to therapy sometimes. there needs to be hunter therapists. that would be a great job to get in this world. very needed, paid in protection or magic beans

i feel so much for jack and patience. being the kids in this story... oh man. “gifted”/overachieving kids and parental pressure is something i relate to more than i want to. i needed a jody or a sam in my life and i never did, i had to become my own jody-sam hybrid to be able to forgive myself for failing (due to chronic illness and a shitty doctor who dismissed me instead of diagnosing me, yet somehow it still felt like my fault??)

(and i still do have to forgive myself. every time i see other people succeed in my particular fields of interest i get so ... not jealous exactly, but upset that i haven’t been able to achieve that. but i gotta remember i am literally doing the best i possibly can, just to get a fic out once a month.

and trying harder isn’t the best option when it comes at the cost of basic things like leaving my room, petting a cat without worrying i’m wasting time, looking at the sky for 5 minutes as the sun sets, or talking to friends.

even once my parents eased up, i became my own source of pressure to succeed. and i need to be more like sam sometimes. tell myself to take a break. eat some food. and try to move the pencil with my brain later.)

-

but actually... on that note, one of the things that i desperately want to achieve is financial independence from the government system, and i can only achieve that through asking people to support me on patreon. if you read my fics, or enjoy my spn reviews, or love ANYTHING i make, and want to keep me supported and encouraged even when i desperately need a break, you can ease my pressure slightly, right here <3

my next goal is only $40 away, it would be the best thing ever if that goal was met before, say, the next episode of spn airs ?

(the worst thing is when i try my best, and self-promote to thousands of people, only to have nobody say or do anything in response... that hurts way more than achieving nada hurts. again, i gotta forgive myself. i can only do as much as i can do, and asking for help is a big part of that)

if you’re reading this with good thoughts in mind for me, i love you. like misha quoted in his snaphat once, sometimes love is just waiting while unable to do anything. that’s me, every day. and you, if you can’t help me. i appreciate you anyway (and i know i’m still loved.) <3

(wow i thought this was a tv show review. welp)

(also here’s a rebloggable list of my Destiel fics if you want something to read)

[onimiman]

Retrospective: The Eon Productions James Bond Movies (1962-2015)

alAs of this post, I have completed my viewing of all 24 of Eon Productions’ James Bond movies, which, as the title of this post points out, started in 1962 and has had its most recent film in 2015. Granted, I should point out that this hasn’t exactly been an active process of mine; in fact, I haven’t rewatched any of the Daniel Craig movies for this, but those entries are fairly fresh in my mind nevertheless. As well, there are other entries in this franchise that I haven’t seen in years, and I’ll point those out as I get to them in this retrospective. One may argue that, perhaps, my opinions of those movies could have changed, but regardless, I’m confident that I’d probably still feel about them now as I did not that long ago. I should also point out that I won’t rank any of them in any particular order; I just want to talk about them in the order that these films were released and there will be no major spoilers as I go through this list. So, without further ado, let’s begin with:

1. Dr. No (1962): The very first James Bond movie is a very quaint, simple film that, by today’s standards, would be rather dull for today’s audiences who live in an era of OTT action scenes in films presented by the likes of Marvel and other giant media conglomerations. That isn’t to criticize such films for things like that (or at least not most films like that), but that’s beside the point. I saw this movie back in 2015 as a sort of preparation for my viewing of that year’s Spectre, the last film I’ll get to on that list, and I thought that Dr. No  was serviceable but nothing particularly memorable in terms of story. Sean Connery as James Bond is very much a man’s man who, while having some sensibilities that wouldn’t be very agreeable to modern audiences today, is still surprisingly charming for someone who’s so aloof when he’s not on a job. In terms of plot, it’s really more of a mystery that we, the audience, watch and learn alongside Bond, and, again, while lacking any memorable action scenes, it’s a decent enough flick, but not one I’d rush to rewatch.

2. From Russia with Love (1963): I saw this movie almost immediately after I watched Dr. No, also in preparation for Spectre, and I can say that it’s certainly a lot more of a memorable film than Dr. No, especially when it comes to its boat chase toward the end. The plot is also a lot more interesting than that of Dr. No, as it very much touches upon the Cold War intrigue that was present during this time period. It was also interesting to see how Bond would work with a Russian agent, even if it would have a very predictable dynamic (what with that agent being an attractive female, a type of person that Bond would be well-known for bedding). If you’re looking for a simple film with more of an action-packed tone, I’d say this would do it.

3. Goldfinger (1964): This was the Bond movie I started out this quest for, and I was sadly disappointed with this one, as this is widely considered by many film critics to be one of the best, if not the best, Bond movie to date, and it certainly has some iconic moments, such as the exchange between Bond and Goldfinger respectively: “You expect me to talk, Goldfinger?” “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.” and “My name is Pussy Galore.” Bond: “I must be dreaming.” As well, this is the first Bond movie to feature the stylistic intro credits that would follow the rest of the Bond films afterward. But unfortunately, the reason that I was disappointed with this one was because, as Cinema Sins pointed out in their video for this movie, for a secret agent, Bond doesn’t really have much agency in this film; for much of this movie, he’s really more of a “decent prisoner of war” to quote Cinema Sins. For anyone who’s seen this movie, you’ll know what I mean; for much of the film, Bond is really the titular antagonist’s prisoner who’s just trying to do what he can to subvert the captivity, which isn’t nearly as interesting as I’m making it sound. Also, one can easily point out the plot holes when one watches it; again, no spoilers, but when it comes to a scene involving several gangsters, one wonders why Goldfinger doesn’t just kill them off to begin with. I shouldn’t say I regretted watching it; again, Connery still holds up as aloof yet cool Bond, even if this is probably one of the more disgusting moments in 007′s career when it comes to seducing Pussy Galore. I would only recommend watching this one just to see what all the fuss is about, what with critics praising this movie out the wazooh, but other than that, I don’t find it bothersome to say you can skip this one.

4. Thunderball (1965): A better entry than Goldfinger, imo, but still one that I couldn’t particularly enjoy, and I can tell you why: this movie’s underwater scenes. Whenever this movie had scenes that went underwater, I groaned inside; imo, this was not a good time in cinematic history to shoot scenes underwater, especially if you’re shooting action sequences here where, even when there are two small armies of people that are even in distinct uniforms, it’s very confusing to follow. Otherwise, I feel like this was a solid entry in the Bond franchise, and I appreciated the SPECTRE intrigue had returned to provide a more solid foundation of providing villains to hatch schemes for Bond to counteract and foil. It’s not as enjoyable as From Russia with Love, but I still say, you could give this a watch.

5. You Only Live Twice (1967): A suitable entry in the franchise that is heightened further by the revelation of the head of SPECTRE, which is Ernst Stavro Blofeld. However, I felt that Donald Pleasance’s portrayal of Blofeld, as brief as it was, was surprisingly dull, especially for a villain that is as iconic as this character. Other than that, this film is stronger than all four movies for its inclusion of martial arts, courtesy of the Japanese in this film, which lends a lot more impact to the action scenes. In terms of plot, this film is certainly the most outlandish at that point in the franchise, with Blofeld really going for the fences this time when he gets outer space involved. The story is still enjoyable, even if it has flaws like killing off a Bond girl and then immediately replacing her with a different woman with no real effect in the plot or in Bond’s character; that certainly was a head-scratcher. I recommend this entry to be watched.

6. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969): If you hate the Woman in the Fridge trope, you’ll lose your shit over this one within the span of seconds before the film’s end credits roll. But, if you’re willing to look past that, or at least prepare yourself for it, you might find yourself at probably the most enjoyable entry in 60s era of James Bond (unless you think otherwise with Goldfinger). Of all six movies from this decade, this would probably be the one to satisfy modern audiences the most with its OTT action scenes, particularly whenever Bond is skiing down a snowy mountain while being chased by Blofeld’s bad guys. And speaking of Bond and Blofeld, this entry marks the only time that George Lazenby played Bond, and at first, I liked him, but upon further reflection, he’s admittedly quite wooden and dull to watch compared to Connery; hell, Lazenby is more entertaining to watch whenever he’s playing the meek genealogist that Bond is posing as. In contrast, however, Telly Savalas delivers a much more entertaining depiction of Blofeld than Donald Pleasance, with a dry wit that still conveys a sense of menace and over-the-topness, for lack of a better term, as a villain. The plot is typical Bond at this point, but with its extended running time running at nearly 2 and a half hours, it certainly gets some much needed fleshing-out, especially when it comes to its action scenes. I whole-heartedly recommend this one, just watch out for the Fridging at the end.

7. Diamonds Are Forever (1971): For Connery’s last official appearance as Bond (and that’s not counting his last actual appearance as Bond in 1983′s Never Say Never Again, which I haven’t watched for this retrospective since that isn’t an official Eon Productions Bond movie), it appears, on the surface, to be an enjoyable and typical Bond movie, yet, for some reason, it did feel a little dull and kind of a disappointment as a sendoff for Ernst Stavro Blofeld, who, in this movie, is played by Charles Gray. Gray is easily the most forgettable Blofeld of all three of the 60s/70s Blofelds, and the schemes he has in this movie, which involves impersonating a rich eccentric mogul, pales in comparison to his previous two plots (and that’s not counting where he’s just a background villain like in From Russia with Love or Thunderball). Easily the best part of this movie is the pre-title sequence where Bond is being more brutal than usual in his quest to find Blofeld, and I appreciated that, even though the events of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is never outright mentioned, the events of that movie still carried through and deeply affected Bond to the point that he is this vengeful character. Unfortunately, after the opening credits rolled, Bond is back to his usual Connery self, and I found it to be less interesting to watch for the rest of the movie; it also makes me wonder why he doesn’t revert to the mode he had in the pre-title sequence when he finds out that Blofeld is alive. Still, I’d recommend watching this movie if only for the Blofeld wrap-up, even if it wasn’t as enjoyable as it could have been.

8. Live and Let Die (1973): Roger Moore’s debut as 007 is a dull one when looked at on paper, with a plot that is fairly lackluster compared to the SPECTRE/Blofeld plots of the 60s and in a dull, forgettable villain in Yaphet Kotto’s Mr. Big (and, yes, it’s the guy who played Parker in Alien for all you sci-fi fans out there). However, in terms of execution, it’s honestly one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen; if you want a laugh, just look at how Mr. Big dies at the end. I wouldn’t recommend this movie in full, but if you want, go onto YouTube and watch how Mr. Big dies at the end and this film’s extended boat chase; it’s one of the most OTT things ever, and it was these moments that made me grin in between the moments of boredom this movie did provide. And as for Moore, he certainly has a rather dry and honestly, well, I hate to be repetitive but, dull performance as a stereotypical British gentleman that is in stark contrast to the roguish man’s man that Connery was. Still, I didn’t hate watching him, as he does have his moments in this movie and the movies that follow. 

9. The Man with the Golden Gun (1974): Easily, Christopher Lee as the titular man with the golden gun is the best thing in this movie; honestly, I kinda wished he played James Bond instead of Roger Moore, as Lee has a lot of charisma and personality in his performance. Even when he’s playing a bad guy that’s now a dark wizard or a Sith Lord, he seems like the kind of guy I wouldn’t mind spending half an hour at a pub with. Aside from that, this movie was just boring, the story was forgettable, and there isn’t much else I can say about this one. Needless to say, you can skip this one, and just find a compilation of all the scenes that Christopher Lee is in.

10. The Spy Who Loved Me (1977): I skipped this one for the retrospective, as I’d already seen it a few years ago, and I still have as decent of a memory for this one as I do for most of the other films on this list, and I can say this: this is probably Roger Moore’s best entry in the Bond franchise, which is something that I can agree on with the critics, but at the same time, this is probably Moore at his grossest, as his sexist claims about women are probably the most eye-rolling I’ve seen in this entire franchise. It’s actually more interesting to watch this movie as a reflection of mainstream beliefs about feminism at this decade. The story is a lot more interesting than the previous two entries, though, and with some decent, 70s action scenes to boot. The henchman Jaws is easily the most memorable Bond henchman I’ve seen in a long time, which is saying something since I don’t even remember the name of this film’s main villain! Other than that, if you can’t handle how misogynist this movie in particular gets, skip it; otherwise; you might have a fun, if disposable, time.

11. Moonraker (1979): Of all the James Bond movies in this entire franchise, this one is easily the most ridiculous, yet I’d be lying if I didn’t think this was fun because of its ridiculousness. I said before that, in You Only Live Twice, Blofeld had a plan that involved space, but that was actually subtle compared to the plot of this film’s main villain. The biggest weakness, however, is that it follows way too many beats from The Spy Who Loved Me, but I’ll admit, it’s not as cringey as that film’s misogyny. I’d say give this a watch because of this movie’s ridiculousness, and it has one of my favorite closing lines in this series: in response to someone asking what is Bond doing as a whole bunch of people are watching on a monitor him have zero-gee sex with the leading Bond girl of the flick, the character of Q says, “I think he’s attempting reentry, sir.” LOL.

12. For Your Eyes Only (1981): Now that we’re into the 80s, this Bond film decides to ground itself back to a more realistic, if more forgettable, plot. I’ll admit, the film’s action scenes make up for the story that I can’t even remember what happened, and I do appreciate the nod to On Her Majesty’s Secret Service in the film’s pre-title sequence; hell, I thought that was the best part of the whole film, with Blofeld even coming back (even if he’s not referred to by name in this movie, as there had been legal issues about Blofeld and SPECTRE being in Bond movies at this time). However, I thought that Blofeld still deserved a better sendoff than that (but it was still better than Diamonds Are Forever). Not much else to say about this one except that, now, Moore is starting to show his age, and I think this could have been an appropriate movie for him to end his stint as Bond on; you can watch it, but it’ll be forgettable.

13. Octopussy (1983): If you think I’m joking about this movie’s title, just confirm it for yourself: you have the Internet, after all. Also, you can confirm for yourself that this is the entry where James Bond dresses up as a literal fucking clown to try to save people from a bond exploding; I can tell ya, Roger Moore’s audition for Pennywise the Dancing Clown was terrible, and it came at a time before Stephen King’s It was even released (although King was in the process of writing the book at the time, so...). Oh, and this was also the movie where, early on, Bond swings on some vines like Shia LaBeouf in Indiana Jones 4 and yells like Tarzan to boot. Again, if you think I’m making any of this up, just look it up; you won’t be disappointed. But aside from these OTT things - the name of the leading titular Bond girl (or how she got that name to begin with), Bond swinging like Tarzan/Shia and dressing up as a clown - this movie was pretty dull, and it shows that Moore is running out of steam as Bond.

14. A View to a Kill (1985): How the fuck do you get Christopher Walken as the main bad guy of your film and still turn in a movie that’s even duller than the last one? I mean, granted, Octopussy had some silly shit in it, but still, I wish that, for his final tenure as Bond, Roger Moore could have done something genuinely memorable and grand as Bond. But instead, as he neared his 60s at this point, it was clear that the filmmakers were fucking idiots to think that they could have a man this old continue to be part of action scenes that he had no business in being part of. And the story and plot? Snooze. Honestly, I got more entertainment from this movie just by singing the Full House theme song whenever it showed the Golden Gate Bridge in this movie. The only decent action scene I liked from this was one that involved a fire and an elevator, but beyond that, (makes a fart noise). Just watch For Your Eyes Only and pretend that’s Moore’s last movie as Bond (or Octopussy if you want a few laughs).

15. The Living Daylights (1987): Now this was the invigoration that James Bond needed, and Timothy Dalton was just the guy to do it. And I can honestly say, with this and the following entry, Timothy Dalton is my favorite James Bond; he manages to get a balance between Moore’s suave sophistication (but without the perpetual, and increasing, dullness that was still in Moore’s performances) and the dark brooding tones that Daniel Craig would bring to the franchise nearly twenty years later. With an action-packed story and plot to aid Dalton’s performance, this Bond movie was a clear sign that 007 was finally entering the modern age of action movies, with more dynamic and exciting action scenes that had been scene before, even if the plots were still nevertheless stock in terms of subject matter, with this being a Cold War-related plot. This entry I recommend very much.

16. License to Kill (1989): This may very well contend itself to be my favorite James Bond movie ever, and it was this entry that cemented Dalton as my favorite Bond to boot. The darkness in Dalton’s performance is turned up to an 11 with appropriate results that match the story and plot, and it was definitely fresh in terms of execution and action scenes. The villain in this? I kinda wish Franz Sanchez was more of a recurring villain in Bond’s life than Blofeld was. If I had any negatives, it’s that the lead Bond girl of this could not act to save her life; anytime she opened her mouth, I cringed and thought, “Oh, honey, no; you need to go back to acting school right away.” Still, in spite of that flaw, this entry I recommend highly.

17. GoldenEye (1995): I saw this about a year or two ago, and boyhowdie is this a solid action flick, and a better invigoration to the Bond franchise than even The Living Daylights. Pierce Brosnan, in his debut as Bond here, may be my second favorite Bond, as he has a charisma that Moore was trying to go for but ultimately lacked, but he is hampered by the fact that he wasn’t nearly as dark as Dalton. The plot is very standard Bond, but with its action scenes and with a personal stake that’s rivaled by License to Kill, GoldenEye ends up being a very fun movie with some memorable villains, namely in Xenia Onatopp, played by Famke Janssen (Jean Grey from the X-Men movies), who plays a character I would have written in my fanfics: a psychotic sadomasochist who gets her sexual thrills by crushing men’s chests with her strong leg and killing people in general. Just for this character alone, I would have recommended this movie, but the rest of the film is strong enough that even one who hasn’t seen any of the previous Bond films could easily enjoy this one, too. 

18. Tomorrow Never Dies (1997): I had seen this one as a child, but I didn’t have a good memory of it; so I decided to rewatch it a few nights ago, and I can say that it’s not nearly as interesting or entertaining as GoldenEye, but it’s still fun to watch nevertheless. Brosnan is still decent as Bond, and Jonathan Pryce delivers a performance that would have turned a forgettable villain like Elliott Carver into something a little bit more interesting to watch. Michelle Yeoh is also a serviceable Bond girl and gets extra points for actually being a competent-enough hero in her own right (I say competent enough because there are times when she does need Bond to save her ass in this). It’s good for about one or two watches, but no more.

19. The World is Not Enough (1999): This one, like the previous two Bond films, had some decent action set pieces, but unlike GoldenEye or even Tomorrow Never Dies, they didn’t feel as well-executed as in those films. Brosnan is starting to be a little dull as 007 at this point, and Denise Richards as Bond girl Christmas Jones was just flat and unconvincing. The villains of the film sounded interesting in theory, but I think more could have been done with them in execution, especially when you have Robert Carlyle, the guy who played the psychotic and memorable Begbie in Trainspotting just three years before, playing one of those villains. As it was, I thought Carlyle was only mildly menacing when I honestly think he could have delivered a hell of a performance had he been given better direction. I would say you can skip this one.

20. Die Another Day (2002): In short, just watch Film Brain’s review of this movie on YouTube; he’ll give you an indepth look at why this film is shlocky garbage. However, in spite of being shlocky garbage, I still felt more entertained than I did with The World is Not Enough, and at least Brosnan, though dulled out as Bond at this point, gave a more interesting film to go out on than Roger Moore did. And at least it was the Brosnan Bond film that I paid the most attention to as a kid, so that’s something. I don’t wanna say anymore about this movie other than that you can skip it and it’s good that the franchise rebooted after this entry, but I do wish John Cleese returned as Q afterward.

21. Casino Royale (2006): I didn’t much care for this movie when I first saw it as a kid, but upon rewatching it in 2014 in preparation for Spectre, I found that there was a lot to appreciate from this movie. Although the movie has a rather unconventional story for a Bond movie, it was still intriguing, and its action scenes are some of the best I’ve seen since GoldenEye (especially since this and GoldenEye were both directed by Martin Campbell). I like Daniel Craig enough as Bond, but I do definitely have a problem with him as 007: he has none of the personality that any of his predecessors did, not even boring-ass Roger Moore, because even Moore had times where he could be cheeky. I know this movie was supposed to be a dark, gritty take on Bond, but I do wish that Craig could deliver a little bit more personality and memorability in his performance. Still, I’d be lying if I myself wasn’t drawn to his steely edge as a character, and it’s that element that saves him from being worse than Moore; it’s especially helpful when he’s getting tortured by his testicles by Mads Mikkelsen (yes, Galen Erso himself) as the memorable, if not entirely intimidating, Le Chiffre in one scene that is legitimately haunting, and is easily the best part of the whole film by far. Give this a watch: it’s worth your time.

22. Quantum of Solace (2008): I had also watched this movie in preparation for Spectre, and I can say that this was Daniel Craig’s weakest entry as Bond by far. The plot and story go almost as OTT as Die Another Day and it’s baffling to see that after seeing such a gritty, realistic take on James Bond with Casino Royale. It’s bizarre that these two movies exist in the same continuity when you compare their action sequences, and it definitely shows its weaknesses that were the result of the mid-2000s writers’ strike that had occurred at this time. I understand that the studio and filmmakers had to get this film out on time if they wanted to hold onto the film rights for 007, and I guess I could understand that this was the best they could do with what little time they had, but still, I can’t exactly excuse something that I could compare to Die Another Day. I have some reluctance to say skip it because it’s not entirely irredeemable; as OTT as the action scenes can be, there are some I do like, and Craig does the best he can with the relatively limited material he has, so I think it’s worth watching this movie if only for that.

23. Skyfall (2012): This was the first Bond film I saw in the theater, and I had seen this one more than any other Bond film to date, as this was on TV multiple times in 2013, and with one exception that pertained to school matters, I had no problem rewatching this movie. If there were any contenders for my favorite Bond film to compete with against License to Kill or GoldenEye, it would be this movie, and this was a film I didn’t much care for when I saw it in the theater. However, the more I watched it, the more I enjoyed it; to me, this was probably the best structured Bond film I’ve seen in terms of plot, character development, and story. Daniel Craig really shines as a dark brooding Bond that manages to get some quips in here and there, the action scenes are really nice, Javier Bardem as Raoul Silva is a fun mix of Heath Ledger’s Joker and his Anton Chigurh in this movie, and Judi Dench delivers a satisfying sendoff performance as M. it also fascinates me that, in a way, the villain wins by the end of this movie, and it was something that I had to roll around in my head for a bit before I came to terms with how surprisingly smart it was. This is one I definitely recommend, and as a solo Bond film (and as a movie in general), you could watch this all by itself and be plenty satisfied.

24. Spectre (2015): So what do I think of this entry? I don’t hate it like many others who loved Skyfall did, but I do think that this movie had the weakest action scenes out of all of Craig’s Bond films, but I never rewatched this since the theater, which was only once. And in terms of story, I was definitely reminded of Austin Powers in Goldmember, which is something I shouldn’t think of considering that the Austin Powers movies are parodies of the James Bond franchise. Still, I did enjoy various elements of this movie, such as Dave Bautista’s henchman character, Christoph Waltz was fun for playing his version of Blofeld in this film, and I do like how the supporting characters from Skyfall got in on the action in this one. Still, I wouldn’t want this entry to be Daniel Craig’s final entry in the franchise, and thankfully, it isn’t, given that there’s a new one coming out in 2019. Hopefully, if that’s to be Craig’s final role as Bond, let’s hope he can make it more satisfying than this. Still, do I recommend Spectre? It’s a decent enough action flick, but as a followup to Skyfall, I think the filmmakers could have done better; nevertheless, I do recommend it for one watch, and afterwards, you’ll have no problem forgetting it but have no regrets watching it.         

@blue-mint-winter