#It's horrible to think about but it's had to have happened at some point

[midnight-mourning]

(Mostly) Happy Accidents

💘💘Midnight's DCA Valentine's Day 3💘💘

Silly little fluffy thing for you all, as someone allergic to red dye (to a point, it's a 50/50 chance whether i'll break out in hives or not so I usually just avoid it to be safe) it resonated when it came to valentine's candy/sweets, hope you enjoy!

Prompt: The boys know about the tradition of Valentine's candy and get some for Y/N, not knowing they were allergic to one of the ingredients in the candy. Apologies and appreciation for attempting to get Y/N a gift obviously follow

Word Count: 1425

Read here if you prefer ao3!

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Sun seems almost too excited when the last child exits the Daycare for the day. Practically buzzing beside you as you wave goodbye and shut the door. 

Maybe it was just for clean up, considering you had so much to do today in particular. It was Valentine's after all. And as with every holiday, the attendant simply had to go all out for it. Which, while pretty, would be a laborious process to tidy up. 

So when you turn around to discuss it with him, and see his hands filled with a giant heart-shaped box, you were quite surprised. 

"Happy Valentine's day, Sunbeam! We got this just for you!" Sun tilts his head, rays spinning quickly. 

Your eyes widen, starting to smile. "Oh! You didn't guys didn't have to do that. But I appreciate it! Thank you, really." 

You take the box and open it up. Inside, they're all sorts of different sweets, all different shapes and with different patterns. You don't even know where to begin. You pick one at random and pop it into your mouth, chewing as you listen to Sun speak again. 

"Of course we did! How else are we supposed to show how much we care about you? On the most important day to do it, no less." He chuckles. 

Your face starts to warm up, and you swallow. "Y-yeah? You um, mean that?"

"Wouldn't say it if I didn't, Sweetheart." Sun boops your nose, giggling. 

It just serves to fluster you further, so to stop yourself from saying anything by downing another chocolate. 

Sun continues chatting, his excitement truly coming to light now. "We were really nervous about finding something you'd like, we spent ages trying to make sure we found something that had all your favorite flavors, to show you how much we care, because we do, a lot..."

As he talks, you realize the burning on your face isn't getting any better, but now notice that it's not from being embarrassed. The warmth is also traveling down your neck and chest, accompanied by an all too familiar itching sensation. You feel that same to desire to scratch at your currently covered arms.Your throat is tight, but not horrible, thankfully.

When you think to look at the half-bite you've taken out of the chocolate in your hand, and see the hot pink-colored filling, it basically confirms what you thought had happened. 

You keep your calm though, still trying to listen as the playtime attendant keeps going. "—And then came the matter of actually getting it! We couldn't ask for help because that would ruin the surprise, and we were also afraid someone would tell us we couldn't get you something, and that wouldn't do! So imagine our delight when Officer Ryan left his wallet in the break room. We just quickly borrowed the card and put it right back, don't worry! He didn't even notice—" He stops all of the sudden, tone falling. "Is everything okay, Starshine?"

You jump, realizing you're scratching at your neck now. "Um, sort of? Do you happen to know if any of these have red dye in them?"

"Red dye? Of course they don't, Sunbeam, it says right here in your file that you're allergic we would never—forget... something, like, that..." Sun freezes in that moment, staring out into space as realization seems to kick him straight in the gut. 

You put your hands up. "It's okay, it's okay. I just need a benadryl and I'll be fine-Woah!"

Sun scoops you up, hurriedly rushing over to the desk with you in his arms. With his free hand he starts frantically looking for something. 

"Not good, not good, not good! Oh, I'm so so so sorry Star! We should have paid more attention, we just got so caught up in finding you something perfect and now—" He shakes his head, growing more panicked. 

You try to diffuse the situation before he short circuits or something. "Sunny, it's fine, I promise. It's just a mild allergy. I'll be okay, really." You don't tell him how desperately you want him to set you down so you can scratch your arms off, as you think that'll only worsen the situation. 

Your words don't register, he can't seem to hear you as he searches through the medical bag, suddenly ripping his hand from inside to pull out an epi pen. And before you can protest, he's setting you on the desk and jabbing it into your thigh. 

You yelp, and he immediately relaxes. For the most part. As his posture sags, face downturned, he speaks again, dejected. "Please forgive us. We're so sorry. Had we been paying attention this never would have happened."

"Sunny, it's okay. It was a mistake." You set a hand on his shoulder, he flinches at your touch. 

Suddenly he looks up, anger in his tone, though not at you, you quickly realize. "But we hurt you! How can you be so calm about this!?"

"Because it's a minor allergy, silly bot." You cup his face with both hands as his rays flit about. "Do you have any idea how many things have red dye in them? Especially Valentine's candy? I've probably had to take an antihistamine like four times this week already."

You ignore his wide-eyed stare at your statement in favor of pressing your lips to his smile for a moment. "It's my fault for not checking beforehand, not yours. You were just trying to be nice and do something sweet for me. And I appreciate that more than anything. Really, I do. I'm… flattered, honestly." You mumble the last bit, looking away as you comprehend what you just did. 

A hand on your cheek makes you glance back to him, eyes now lidded and tone syrupy. "We're glad..." He shakes his head. "But, still. It won't happen again! Now come on, what you need is proper rest and relaxation!"

Again you're picked up, carried away to be sat in the attendant's lap in a bean bag, blanket suddenly covering you both and a couple of coloring books and crayons appearing out of nowhere. 

"Don't you worry, we'll think up an even better gift to give you before the day is over! I promise!" Sun says as he gets to work on coloring. 

You pause to register everything that just happened, then chuckle, shaking your head. "Okay, but really, it's alright. This is just as thoughtful, you know. But we'll have to clean at some point, don't forget."

Sun hums, and he's so focused you think he only half hears you. You laugh again, and snuggle back into him to get started yourself. As his free hand slings round your waist you feel yourself start to burn up all over again. 

The rest of the afternoon is filled with similar activities, neither attendant letting up at all about 'making it up to you' despite your insistence that you were okay. 

You didn't mind in the slightest though, now snuggled in Moon's arms as you both sit reading. 

"As horrible as it sounds I'm kinda glad you bought those chocolates." You glance up to him, small smile on your face. "I don't think things would've ended up this way if you hadn't."

Moon tsks, though his eyes hold a certain cheekiness. "Maybe not, but that doesn't mean we'll ever be letting it happen again. There are much better ways to end up with you in my arms." He flicks your forehead and you huff. Only to be silenced by a brief peck to your lips. 

He holds something up for you then, and taking a moment to focus you see it's a bundle of paper roses. Looking closer you see some are made from coloring pages, and others from Moon's book. 

"We have plenty of more books of all kinds before you worry. And it was the least we could do considering what happened earlier."

You take the bundle, admiring the detail in each folded piece of paper. "They're lovely. Truly. Thank you both." You twist again to kiss his cheek, then go back to fawning over your present, warm smile on your lips. 

"Once we get ahold of Officer Ryan's credit card again we'll be sure to get you something better, I promise." Moon presses a kiss to the top of your head, and picks up his book once more. 

You pause then. "I, let's not do that—you didn't think to save it?"

"We did. But just inputting it directly isn't nearly as thrilling." He snickers. 

"Moon!" 

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Thank you for the request @dangerva! I enjoyed writing the sillies panicking (just a little bit) hehe

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[nostalgia-tblr]

fandom goes into deep denial about the attempted infanticide of baby loki because the imperialism reading of it works against the text and requires that the baby be stolen not abandoned, and that this theft be for the most nefarious and imperialist purposes we can think of. whereas actually - and i was going to say this is 'the obvious parallel' but no it's not even a parallel it's what's clearly happening there - the baby's been left out to die for being disabled hasn't he?

the word 'runt' gets used but adult loki compared to other frost giants is not just slightly on the small side, he's probably equivalent to a human with dwarfism, which definitely brings this into Infanticiding The Disabled Child territory. which a) laufey cannot be allowed to do because that's a fucked up and horrible thing to do* b) we also can't allow that odin just kept that baby because by asgardian standards there was no obvious disability there. (the social model of disability, but with giants and less-giants**) "why would you be throwing out this baby, laufey? it looks normal-sized. it doesn't even have an unusual number of limbs. yeah, i am taking this baby as a friend for my similarly-sized bio-son. mine now. finders keepers." i point this out because the disabled baby is not saved by someone thinking disability-based infanticide is wrong - at least not necessarily so - but by being found by someone who doesn't recognise the supposed problem. to whom it simply does not exist.

and of course fandom loves sad little feeble loki being weak and pathetic in fic, but i have somehow never seen this tied to the fact that he is canonically undersized for his species and likely has some connected internal fuckery going on with his organs. we have no idea what made him that small or what it'd do and - here's the fun kicker for you angst fans! - probably nobody on asgard would either. when's the last time any of them had to look after even an entirely able-bodied jotun? how likely is it that they can just write off to jotunheim to say "hey what's up with that kid your king tried to murder? how would we fix him if he lived here? yeah, our king kept him. no, we didn't eat the baby! can we borrow a medical textbook? what do you mean you don't have paper there. well how do you write down how the orientalist belly-dancer outfits are to be worn? well then how... no, come back. did you just hang up on a letter???"

sorry, i digressed. what i was aiming for was that there is a very obvious reason why loki might be unusually weak for a lad who looks healthy to us and who doesn't seem any smaller or less able-bodied than the people around him, but i just don't see it being deployed in fic or in meta or whatever. is this because the 'laufey just left his baby out for some fresh air like norwegians do' reading kind of relies on that baby not being seen as a burden to be got rid of and we all kind of agree that... no. no, i shall not finish that thought. it is too depressing. it probably is that though isn't it?

anyway. this is me wondering what is up with that. other than maybe some kind of 'echo-chamber effect' where even the wildest ideas can become commonly-held fanon and where it'd be easy to just straight-up ignore a very obvious implication of baby-murdering because someone leaving you to just fucking die for being disabled is somehow not enough oppression for a blorbo in these enlightened times. or because it breaks a popular fandom interpretation of events. or something like that?

*in fairness i'd say humans from earth are probably within the group that's allowed to just not care about humans from earth getting invaded and killed.

**i say 'less-giants' because look:

look at this literal giant among men. tiny scrawny little thing, so smol and so freakishly tall to the humans. i call this 'the social model of smolness.'

[ender-cloud]

My (personal) thoughts on Jimmy Mouthwashing and how the fandom perceives him: did anyone ask for this, no, but i just wanna talk about him!

Under cut to make things look cleaner

Jimmy is the most hated character in mouthwashing, and for good reason, his actions are morally wrong and what he did to Anya is just absolutely disgusting and horrible. But is Jimmy a bad character? No.

Yes he’s a bad person but thats because he’s well written, and sometimes the fandom seems to skip over all of that. There is a reason why for 80% of the game you play as Jimmy, you are supposed to feel this connection to him, you need to play as him to understand why most of the crew was able to follow him, he’s good at manipulating even the person playing.

Jimmy has so much depth to him, everything we see through his eyes is for a reason, the way we see characters through his perspective is for a reason, and thats what makes him such a great character.

Everyone tries to ignore him most of the time “oh sorry you had to draw Jimbob” or stuff like that and while it’s funny it’s not the only view you should have. Jimmy’s character is not meant to be pushed to the side, if he was you wouldn’t play the game through his eyes.

This man is smart, conniving, manipulative, and jealous of power he’s not able to handle. This is apart of the theme that is taking responsibility but Jimmy is usually mischaracterized as this dumb evil horse lover.

He’s not the only one who seems to mischaracterized, Curly is too. Everyone seems to act like he’s this perfect dude whose great for Anya and would be the hero but he is just as in fault as Jimmy.

Curly was the one who knew Jimmy and always saw the best in him, it is heavily applied that he knew what Jimmy was doing to Anya and did nothing about it when Anya didnt even have to say his name for Curly to know. This is because Curly thought of Jimmy as his friend and his right hand man (which is also kinda mischaracterized)

Curly didn’t just like, hate jimmy all of this time, no they were friends, and Jimmy’s betrayal hit him. Curly also had troubles with taking responsibility, he didn’t take responsibility for how he did almost nothing to stop Jimmy and also he couldn’t take responsibility for being the captain and keeping everyone safe.

You play as both perspectives so you see how similar the two are in some ways and how different they are in others. It’s not a question of if Curly’s better for Anya because thats not the point, the point is to show that they both are at fault and both cant take responsibility which isnt shown that often.

Anya doesn’t need Curly, she needs time to heal, she needs to go to therapy and take care of herself, not date someone who was friends with her abuser. She needs time before she should be in a relationship with anyone because what happened to her is a traumatic experience that no one should go through.

Also Daisuke and his thoughts on Jimmy as well seem to be twisted. Daisuke trusted Jimmy, theres a reason why Jimmy was able to convince him to climb into the vent, its because Daisuke felt almost kinda safe, like he could trust him.

This is because Jimmy is a good manipulator, however a character acts around Jimmy is because Jimmy has shaped them to feel that way, Daisuke wouldn’t have just climbed in there if he didn’t think that Jimmy wouldn’t mean for him to get hurt, even though we might see that he did we have to put our perspective with Daisuke.

Personally I hate Jimmys actions and who he is as a person but I love his character, i like how it’s portrayed in such a new and unique way. Every character in mouthwashing is (I didnt talk about Swansea because I couldn’t think of anything at the moment😔)

I feel as though while no one should forgive Jimmys actions, they should see that he’s a good character and very very well written and is not meant to just be pushed into the background. His toxic masculinity, his manipulative mind, his incapability to take responsibility even in the end when he put Curly in the pod instead of himself, its all written for a reason.

I uh, hope you enjoyed this ramble, it’s something I’m very passionate about because i really really like character analysis and character writing and Jimmy’s character is one of my favorites to just try and figure out the inter workings of.

Without Jimmy, Mouthwashing wouldn’t be the game it is

[wyrm-with-a-what-the-fuck]

your post about magnus gave me an idea and I apologize in advance. So magnus in tfp was alone on his ship for God knows how long without seeing another bot. And the ones he did meet or see fucking died. So I'm imagining that after all of the years being alone with no one else the second he's introduced to team prime he just like. Gets kinda clingy. He won't at all show it but if he follow around optimus more often or hangs around ratchet despite him doing nothing interesting who is going to judge him?

So he is able to get his fill of platonic attention and affection but then comes the main problem. He's really fucking horny. And of course because he's ultra magnus he can't just deal with it. Because according to one thing or another a commander can't do bla bla bla. He just essentially makes up reasons why he can't take care of himself. Like "Oh I can't be horny I'm in war" or "I can't be aroused I'm a commander" so he just gets more and more pent up until he essentially reaches a breaking point and finally gives in.

He hides away in his ship while trying to deal with these impure thoughts. Trying desperately to try and not think of what it'd be like if one of his teammates were to frag him senseless. Nope that's not allowed. As his restrain crumbles more he finally gives in and just promises to do a quick little session to get out all of the horniness in his system.

Now, this is just a personal headcanon of mine, but I like to think that with bots with larger chest plates or larger hands they have more trouble trying to self serve themselves. And magnus, being very inexperienced, large, and in general a nervous wreck as of now, can't use his hands to try and get himself off. He's humiliated but far to aroused so he finally results to using an item of sorts to assist him in his problem. The item of choice? The forge of course! I mean it's right there.

At this point the poor bots far too aroused to be embarrassed in using something a goddam prime had as a personal toy. But the second he rubs his anterior node against the handle (I think that's what it's called?? Listen I'm tired) he just melts. It feels good and he feels warm and it takes his mind off of everything so before long he is grinding against this handle as if his life depends on it. He is the second in command of the autobots and one of the Primes closest friends so he absolutely does not moan and whimper. Any other stories are lies and slanders.

Eventually he gets close to his peak and crumbles more. He can't help but plead to no one to touch him and love him and just stay by his side. He so desperately wants someone by his side whispering sweet nothings into his audials and telling him he's pretty.

Finally he's sent over the edge and cries out at the feeling of pleasure washing over him. He can't remember the last time he's done this so you bet he's awful sensitive. After he's able to think coherent thoughts again he realizes that he's on the floor on his ship on all fours rutting against a sacred artifact and immediately cleans up and feel absolutely horrified about what he did. Sure it felt astounding and he definitely needed it but he can't help but feel ashamed of himself. As he calls it a night he swears he won't do anything like it again. Spoiler alert he does. Many times.

And to end this off here's another headcanon of mine: some bots will rev their engine or honk when they overload. They bot will often be horribly embarrassed because that was not supposed to happen but the partner just falls deeper into love because they were the ones to get their partner into that state. What does this have to do with anything? I'm saying magnus definitely honks when he overloads and he's so ashamed of it that it's part of the reason he barely tends to his needs. Not sure if you've ever heard the honk of a semi truck but it's fucking loud. Magnus thinks that if he were to get a partner that they'd find it absolutely ridiculous and humiliate him so he tries to keep it to himself.

God OP I am so sorry for just word vomiting everywhere. I'm also so sorry if this is at all weird but I got inspired and I ran with it. It most definitely shows but I'm very shy when it comes to the sex so I'm sorry if this is awkward. Just in general I'm very sorry and I'm going to shup up now ok bye hope you have a nice day please don't behead me

I fucking love word vomit I love this idea and I always love the idea of cybertronians honking or whatever during interface because they have engines and bells and sirens and shit they need to be nosey when they overload. I love tfp magnus being inexperienced enough to be so shy and I love the headcanon that his kibble and first time aura gets in the way of self servicing without any tools

Ugh he’s fucking that hammer loudly in his little ship I love that he’s starved for release of anything oughhhhh I love itttt

And yes I’ve heard an accursed semi truck honking. Loudass bitches.

Anyways love ur idea sm omg this was so nice to see in my dusty ass askbox yayayayay

[utilitycaster]

The reason those C3 fans shit the bricks over the Charity stream was because they viewed the charity stream as a win for them and bells hells. Not like you know, an actual good thing to help people in need. Because when it was announced they were in the qrts and on twt yelling that the cast closing to play as Bells Hells was cause they loved them above all. That BH were "winning" because MN didn't get one shots while airing. No1 expected anyone BUT BH to be played so they were fighting air tbh.

[Cont. So when Laudna got yeeted and Beau joined it, it's like they suddenly hit with the fact that the cast like all the times. All character sheets were available and BH was being played by default of the one shot happening during c3. But they hung their entire world view on BH being extra special that they broke. Saw them also being PISSED at Ashley and Liam for getting MN members to the top before everyone else and especially the gate was "showing up BH".]

Here is what gets me, as a person who does not follow sports in any form: The Mighty Nein are a juggernaut of popularity within the fandom. I think this is for the most part deserved and I also think a lot of fans of C1 who never vibed with any later campaigns are simply not active in fandom any more since it's been 7 years, and Critical Role had more recognition with Campaign 2, so like, numbers within active social media fandom are not a perfect indicator of quality, itself a subjective measure.

HOWEVER. If you want your team to win, the most efficient way to do that is to start rooting for the winning team. I get that this is considered treasonous to genuine fans of sports. But like, if your biggest priority is Number Is Bigger then there is an obvious solution and it's called jumping on the bandwagon. Otherwise, perhaps you should consider a different metric, such as "did I have fun at this game? Were the snacks good? Were there some cool plays?" (from this you can see my priorities re: live sports namely are my friends here and did I get some nachos and a beer but you get my point). Honestly, this is how I and a lot of other people have been approaching Bells Hells week to week for some time now: were there some cool scenes? Did the character they liked most at the time say something funny? Did NPCs do anything? Were the fight mechanics interesting?

I have a post that I am saving for next week about specific elements of C3 that goes into more depth but I feel like Campaign 3's fandom in particular fell to a certain attitude that feels very specific to a younger (to me, an ancient crone, so like, mid-20s) crowd, of obsessing over numbers: how many fics. how many notes. how much screentime. can you believe that Episode 100 didn't even have Bells Hells in it????? And it's like. who the fuck cares. Is it good? Is it satisfying? Because right now we're watching you guys all admit it hasn't been and 120 episodes in you were waiting for the campaign to REALLY begin.

I don't think the cast dislikes Bells Hells! I think they all like all of their characters, and frankly when the cast gets asked directly a lot of them go with a "you never forget your first" and give their VM character anyway so like, the vitriol at the Mighty Nein really is a petty popularity contest in the end. But Bells Hells are the party that the cast happened to be playing during the Moon Plot Campaign and the party that the cast happened to be playing at the time of the livestream. None of the three main parties are uniquely special. They are special to their individual fans.

I made the Elon Musk comparison for C3 fans earlier this week and I don't want to go too hard since like, he is truly horrible, and I do think that a lot of C3 fans, while currently shitty self-absorbed people, are also quite young and it is my hope that a sharp but ultimately harmless disappointment like this campaign might shock them into fixing their hearts, but the final lines of this post came to mind while writing up a lot of my responses: "And in fact I would argue that seeking to put yourself above other people is inherently going to leave you empty, because egotistical as you may be, you've adopted a values system where your sense of self worth intrinsically depends on other people. Congratulations, you played yourself."

If your day can be ruined because your blorbo wasn't present for 100% of a live stream for charity and the cast likes all of their characters? You should work on that! I'm not saying it's easy or fun but it really is a thing you should work on because right now, the worst thing that's going to happen to you is people laughing at your misfortune on social media. But if you keep up this behavior, you're going to be bitter and miserable forever, and it will be your own fault because you're getting mad that something that was never about you continues to not be about you. Learn to accept that you had a good time (if you had a good time, anyway) and it's over and that's okay.

[quasi-normalcy]

Let's get into it:

I don't think we really know anything about the backstories of most of the TOS crew other than Kirk (genocide survivor; watched half his crew get killed by a Dikironium cloud creature), Spock (estranged from his family), and a tiny bit about McCoy (divorced, not that that's really "traumatic"). SNW later establishes that Uhura's parents died in a shuttle accident (I think they got that from the novels), but the rest of the crew is a blank slate in terms of backstory.

On TNG: Picard (shitty home life, abusive father, later elaborated on Picard's series into a literal gothic melodrama complete with suicidal mentally ill mom (ugh.)); Riker (mother died young, father was a dick, on his one from age 15); Data (planet destroyed by his brother; abandoned by creators; forgot his early life; went 26 years before he got his first friend. Not really traumatic though, on account no emotions); Worf (family annihilated by Romulans); Troi (domineering mother; dead father; dead older sister she never learned about until adulthood); Crusher (widow; parents killed in childhood; also that whole "generational alien sex ghost" thing we're not supposed to talk about). Geordi, though, explicitly had a good childhood (notwithstanding talk in the writers' room of retconning him to be a literal Rosemary's Baby)

On DS9: Sisko (watched his wife die at Wolf 359; that whole prophetic birth thing (ugh.)); Kira (child soldier during an attempted genocide); Bashir (basically rewritten by his own parents); Quark (everyone loves Moogie, but she is a pretty horrible mother); Odo (medical experiments); O'Brien (war-related PTSD); Dax (repressed serial killer memories); Garak (there's literally an entire novel about how shitty his childhood was)

On Voyager: Janeway (no trauma that I recall); Chakotay (ex-terrorist; I guess his home planet was taken over by Cardassians? They never really say); Torres (abandoned by her father; resentful of her mother; resentful of her own biology and cultural heritage); Paris (shitty father); Neelix (genocide survivor); Seven of Nine (holy shit, just everything that's ever happened to her). I can't recall Tuvok having had anything traumatic in his past, but I very much interpret "Meld" as showing that he's kind of a psychopath at heart and only a razor-thin veneer of logic prevents him from being a serial killer; Harry Kim had a happy childhood, notwithstanding an attempt to give him the "Rosemary's Baby" backstory that the writers had originally intended for Geordi (almost like even in the 90s, the writers couldn't think of how to develop characters without giving them trauma); Kes...had a childhood that lasted, like, a month or two, so it might not count

On Enterprise: Um...yeah, okay, I don't know this one as well. Archer's dad died before his ship could be built, which is...bad, I guess. T'Pol...um, I guess she went to that jazz club one time and it freaked her out. Reed's parents seemed awful in that very "upper-class British" way. Um... Yeah.

On DIS: Burnham's family was killed by Klingons, and then her school on Vulcan by blown up by terrorists, so, you know...trauma two-fer, I guess; Saru was from a species that was being systematically culled before puberty; Tilly's mom was neglectful; um. Book had an abusive dad; Adira saw their lover killed in front of their eyes; Owosekun was disowned by her luddite commune for joining Starfleet. Um. Airiam lost her husband and all her skin in a shuttle accident; Bryce (or maybe Rhys? I don't remember) was in a hurricane as a child; Rayner's planet was occupied by the Breen; probably some of the other bridge bunnies exposited trauma at some point during the fourth season, I don't remember

On Picard: Hoo-boy. Raffi was right about the attack on Mars, but lost her family and developed a drug problem because of her obsessive conspiracy theorizing; Rios had his father figure enact an illegal order and then kill himself in front of him; Elnor had his father figure abandon him (what the fuck, Jean-Luc); Soji's entire life was a lie, except her twin sister (who was killed); Jurati...actually seemed to have a pretty good childhood, but made up for it by having an incredibly traumatic present; Shaw has oodles of survivors guilt over Wolf 359; Jack Crusher, Jr....doesn't actually seem to have had anything particularly bad ever happen to him, but still acts entitled to run around with a giant chip on his shoulder (god I hate him); and then there's added trauma for established characters, like: Picard left Starfleet and bears the weight of the Romulan supernova; Troi and Riker lost their son because of the synth ban (and then, according to season 3, Troi telepathically suppressed Riker's ability to mourn (ugh.)); Seven of Nine was betrayed by her lover and had to mercy kill her adopted son; Crusher...got pregnant and randomly decided that her traumatic backstory was so overwhelming that she simply had no other choice but to keep her son from his father and ghost all of her friends (ugh! ugh! ugh!); something is implied to have happened to Worf, but they never said; Geordi...still doesn't really seem to have a lot of trauma, though the official tie-in materials say that he was in charge of Utopia Planitia when it got bombed. [Okay, so maybe there's a bit too much trauma on this series.]

Lower Decks: Mariner lost her best friend; Rutherford had his entire life deleted by an evil admiral; Shaxs has so much PTSD from the resistance that he'll go spare on anyone who even mentions Bajor; Billups has a shitty mother who keeps trying to trick him into have sex; um...that's kind of it.

Prodigy: They're all child slaves, first of all. On top of this, Dal was sold by his other mother figure (and doesn't even have parents); Rok (had to play the monster in an arena as a small child); Zero (separated from their hivemind; Jankom was an orphan sent off on a sleeper ship; and then woke up before everyone else and had to ditch the sleeper ship; Gwyn was raised to be a weapon by a cruel, domineering father. Murf seems to radiate peace, though.

Strange New Worlds: Pike knows his future is kind of crappy; Una lived her entire life hiding what she was; La'an was bullied for her family connections, and then had her family ate by Gorns; M'Benga, Chapel, and Ortegas have war trauma; and then there's the previously mentioned stuff with Spock and Uhura.

So yeah; going through it, I think that the only clear outliers in terms of trauma are Picard (way too much of it) and Enterprise (not enough).

#1214

Why lit of character in Star Trek Discovery and Star Trek Strange New World have mostly all a traumatic past? Next step: how to make an interesting character without a traumatic childhood or a traumatic past?

[melonthesprigatito]

Wait a minute.... Cyllene is deathly afraid of Wurmple, but she's also an expert swordmaster apparently....

How many innocent Wurmple got their asses Fruit Ninja-ed to death before somebody gave her that Abra?

[feroluce]

This was all the way back from the end of 2.3.

Hey Sparkle what the fuck.

[californiaquail]

anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before

[so-called-quail]

'Trapped in the end!' said Sam bitterly, his anger rising again above weariness and despair. 'Gnats in a net. May the curse of Faramir bite that Gollum and bite him quick!' 'That would not help us now,' said Frodo.

Sword in hand Sam went after him. For the moment he had forgotten everything else but the red fury in his brain and the desire to kill Gollum. But before he could overtake him, Gollum was gone. Then as the dark hole stood before him and the stench came out to meet him, like a clap of thunder the thought of Frodo and the monster smote upon Sam's mind.

Now he tried to find strength to tear himself away and go on a lonely journey – for vengeance. If once he could go, his anger would bear him down all the roads of the world, pursuing, until he had him at last: Gollum. Then Gollum would die in a corner. But that was not what he had set out to do. It would not be worth while to leave his master for that. It would not bring him back. Nothing would.

Sam and vengeance in today's entry

[pebblezone]

🦭

[adore-gregor]

:)

[pepprs]

hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol

[shadesofmauve]

I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.

Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.

He was really nice.

Yeah.

It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?

You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."

You didn't, loves, you didn't.

We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.

I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.

Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.

When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"

No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.

Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?

Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.

That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.

I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.

A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.

I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.

So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!

Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.

You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.

I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.

I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.

It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.

Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.

[misskamelie]

I think if I ever see this person irl again I'll just. Confess and then combust on the spot

[mx-paint]

stupid comments on TikTok will really have you thinking about how everything is by chance