#It's a series actually (there's more in the works for the same verse because there's so much we wanna do with Near and his Mello introject)

[queer-omens-in-the-archives]

sweet atonement

Relationship: Mello/Near Rating: Mature Chapters: 2/2 Words: 1,735

'Near.' 'Mello.' 'Which of us is going to get Kira first...?' 'The race is on...' 'Our destination is the same. I'll be waiting for you when you get there...' That's what Near is hoping for with all his strength, more fiercely than he's ever hoped for anything.

Warnings: Suicide Attempt (No Archive Warnings Apply) Tags: Multiplicity/Plurality, Near's Mello Introject, (could not put this any more succinctly), (learned recently that in one of the more recent DN adaptations Near & Mello are a system from the start, this isn't that. Here Near introjects Mello after Mello's death as a coping mechanism for the grief, is it a psychological phenomenon or is it possession by a ghost? You decide! It's left ambiguous on purpose.), Dissociation, Lucid Dreaming, Angsty Beginning with a Much Softer Ending, Post-Canon, (ignoring the one-shots though not necessarily contradicting them)

[read on AO3]

[phantomrose96]

twice now ive started and not finished silt verses. (no particular reason i didnt finish, ive really enjoyed it both times and keep thinking that i gotta get back to it.)

a moment that really hit me, and i think i'll always remember, is in hayward's first episode. the series starts with carpenter, so we know that worshipping the trawlerman is illegal and a bit about what that worship is like, but not much about how worshipping other gods works. even with the deer/hound people (who i forget if they happened before or after hayward's intro), that's another illegal and hidden religion. it leaves space to assume that the deadliness and the human sacrifice is WHY these gods are forbidden.

and then hayward's ep happens. and he says, offhand, like it's something completely unremarkable (paraphrased), 'people following those kinds of gods wouldn't get in trouble over it if they could just be reasonable about these things. there's a right and wrong way to do this, like how every new building starts construction by drowning two criminals in the cement foundation.' hearing that, and hearing how casual he was about it, i felt my entire understanding of the setting shift drastically.

legality wasn't about whether a group of worshippers do or don't kill. it was about what worshippers kill the acceptable targets, in the right way. and suddenly i find myself much more distrustful of a society that's motivated to create acceptable targets than i ever was of how carpenter and faulkner do things.

its a really chilling and well done bit of writing.

someday ill get past five episodes. im sure i'll really enjoy it.

Yes!!! YES!!!!

I've mentioned once or twice in my ramblings here that that was also my biggest "Oh" moment for TSV.

I started out episode 1 vaguely thinking of Carpenter and Faulkner as if you'd made a podcast following TMA Avatars as main characters. We know right off the bat the Trawlerman's people are human-sacrificing cultists. Obviously Nana Glass wasn't a good person. She killed people! And she got killed in a police stand-off because she was a mass murderer. And we know Carpenter and Faulkner are following in her same line of work so, really, we're following antagonists aren't we?

And then my "Oh" came later with (not necessarily that Hayward scene specifically) but when I went "Oh. The Trawlerman's people are being persecuted by the authorities not because they're human-sacrificing cultists. But because they're the losing human-sacrificing cultists."

Because actually, the legal authorities, the politicians, the corporations, are all very much part of human-sacrificing religions. That part is allowed. These "backwards hick" gods are illegal and horrible, because their kind of human sacrifice is uncivilized. Unlike the civilized people's human sacrifice, which is allowed because the corporations and the institutions have okayed it :).

They do so much with it over the series.

Also I see you're only on episode 5 so actually I'm putting this part beneath a readmore since I checked and this is about episode 7

The episode with Paige recounting what happened to Vaughan is what drove it in for me, I think. It plays out line-for-line like a corporation going through lay-offs "These are tough times :(. We understand this is difficult for everyone leaving us today :(." but they are... just... allowed to kill these employees they're letting go in a ritual sacrifice. To a legal god. And Paige thinks surely they won't--surely good people won't do that--but they do, very much, kill Vaughan.

Money is tight and times are hard and ritualistic human sacrifice is, in fact, incredibly allowed... As long as you're one of the legal powers, doing it the correct way.

[padfootagain]

Love in Verses (XII)

Chapter 12 : Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again

Hi! Here is new chapter! This one is… interesting… Whiskey is very dangerous, indeed…

I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 2527

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body        love what it loves. Tell me your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting – over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

Mary Oliver, Dream work, 1986

You ended up at your place with Andrew. After that awful dinner you both needed some emotional support.

You didn’t talk about the meal though. He didn’t mention how Frank had hurt you, you didn’t talk about how Andrew deserved better than Sam.

That was your final conclusion after the evening. Andrew deserved better than her. You didn’t know all the details that had drawn him away from a professional career in music, but you knew that it had been a tough decision to make for him. The way Sam made it sound, Andrew had simply given up. And yet, his eyes still lit up every time he talked of music.

You sat down on your couch with a bottle of whiskey, getting lost in thought as you replayed the conversation through your head. You had noticed how Sam had stopped listening the second you had started talking about your job, about music… about things Andrew loved. And perhaps you were too busy grieving for him, but was Frank the same with you? Because Andrew deserved someone who listened, someone who actually cared…

What did both Andrew and Frank saw in Sam that you didn’t? The question was relentless, spinning in your head again and again, a fly trapped under a glass trying to escape. What did you lack that she had?

You watched Andrew as he downed his first glass of whiskey. Neat. No ice or anything. He didn’t flinch, merely let out a long exhale as he let his head fall back onto the backrest of the couch.

“God… that felt good. I needed that,” he sighed, pouring himself another glass while you drank yours as well.

You winced slightly at the burn of the liquor, but silently asked for more anyway.

“What’s next on the list of things to ruin?”

Andrew chuckled at that.

“I reckon we haven’t really ruined anything yet… but… I guess not much until the New Year. You’re still coming to their party?”

“Of course,” you sighed. “We need to make a plan for this. We need to ruin something and then save the day.”

“We should ruin the champagne.”

“And replace it with another excellent one? Good idea. That could work for you.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t know… Maybe help Sam. That would impress him.”

“Hmm… a knight in shining armour? Ruin her dress and you fix it?”

“Oh…. That’s nice! You’re very good at this Andy, that’s a little scary!” you joked, nudging him. “I could give her my dress, and wear some disgusting clothes instead. The self-sacrifice will make him grow fond of me.”

“I’ll make sure to have the worst change of clothes in my car.”

“Perfect.”

“They said they wanted to organise the party in some sort of club…”

“Hmm… I bet you love the idea.”

“I’m already panicking at the mere thought.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there.”

You thought yourself silly for offering such a useless argument, but Andrew didn’t seem to think of it that way. Instead, he gave you a grateful smile.

“Why are we doing this again?” you asked, question aimed the ceiling as you sighed, Andrew shifted by your side.

“Because we love them.”

His voice sounded like a lie. It was true though. It had to be, somehow…

You drank again, tried to think of something else, let silence settle instead. It was okay. Silence with Andrew felt comfortable, like the world shushed under a blanket of snow. Natural. Slow.

And outside the world kept on turning, as if you weren’t in pain, as if you weren’t grieving. Wasn’t that a strange truth? Frank had left, and the world hadn’t stopped with him. You wished you could feel it spinning again, look at the rest of the world and feel its beating, and be part of it once more. Maybe, if someone listened to you, and understood you, and made you feel safe again… if you could be yourself with them…

“I’m glad you listened to the record,” Andrew spoke after a while and another emptied drink.

“I loved it.”

“It’s one of my favourites. My father listened to it often when I was a child.”

“Is he the one who made you love music so much, your father?”

Andrew nodded.

“He was sick when I was a child. Bad surgery on his spine. He never recovered.”

“I’m sorry.”

“He was a drummer, back in the days. And even after everything changed he just… I don’t know. No matter what we said to each other, how angry we were, how much we argued… we’ve always had music in common. Even when we couldn’t communicate properly, we would put on a record, sit in silence and listen to it, and then we’d discuss it, and things would get better.”

You knew that he was blinking tears away, heard him sniffing. He wasn’t looking at you and you were still staring at the white ceiling. It didn’t matter. Perhaps it even made it easier.

“I just… I didn’t… I made a choice, back in the days, you know? I wasn’t being a coward or something, I just… I didn’t want to tell other people’s words; words that I didn’t care about, I wanted people to listen to me. I wanted to make something that was true and earnest. I wanted… I wanted for someone to listen to me…”

He sniffed. You reached across the couch for his hand, easily found his fingers. He held your hand so easily, like it was obvious, like your hands were meant for that gesture, for holding onto each other. His so large, yours so small in comparison…

“I thought she used to listen, but I don’t know anymore. She wasn’t listening tonight. She hasn’t listened in a while. Do you think…? Do you think she ever listened to me? I had so much to say that I couldn’t express, I didn’t know how, I still don’t know how… I wanted her to listen… God I wanted for someone to listen, just once… just once…”

You tightened your hold on his hand, and you hoped that he would understand what you meant by this simple gesture. That you were listening now. That you listened. That you understood him. That you were there…

“Thank you.”

His voice was a mere whisper, but it was enough.

You struggled with your own tears as you spoke again, your voice shaking.

“I don’t understand why Frank needed to wait for me, and not for her. What… I feel like I’m lacking something…”

“You’re not.”

You felt his stare on you now, but you kept your own gaze set on the ceiling.

“You’re not lacking anything, stop it. Frank is the one who left…”

“Because he saw something in Sam he didn’t see in me. And I don’t know what it is. And I’m scared… I’m scared that I thought he cared about me, and he didn’t. I’m scared to have built my life on that kind of lie. And the worst is… I still want it. I want the life he promised me.”

You were surprised when Andrew let go of your hand. But then you felt his palm cupping your cheek, the brush of his thumb drying your tears.

You finally turned to him, he gave you a sad but soft smile.

“Don’t cry over him. Please, don’t cry.”

You sniffed, let him caress your skin for a moment longer. It felt reassuring, anchoring. Soft and tender. Safe. You felt safe with him…

You shook yourself, moved to the bottle of whiskey again.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t cry,” you nodded, drying your face on your arm. “Let’s get hammered instead, that was the deal!”

Andrew silently agreed by handing you his empty glass for a refill.

“Tell me something silly,” he requested.

“Something silly?”

“Something about… your college days. Those are always worth a good laugh.”

“It’s good craic,” you agreed with a chuckle. “Alright… I’ll tell you a couple of stories. But you’ll have to tell me some as well!”

“Fair enough.”

You exchanged a smile, united your glasses with a cling.

And then you talked about yourself. And he listened.

Your head was spinning, you weren’t sure anymore if it was because of the alcohol or how much you were laughing.

You let yourself fall back into the sofa, holding on your painful stomach, tears in your eyes and on your cheeks. God, you hadn’t laughed so hard in… you were about to think ‘since Frank’ but you couldn’t remember ever laughing so hard with him.

“There was this one time,” Andrew went on. “I was playing with a band… Alex thought it would be hilarious to hide my guitar… I was so fucking panicked, I fell down the stairs leading to the stage and almost broke my neck…”

You doubled over with laughter, and he followed you close.

“How did you pay him back?”

“I told the girl he fancied he couldn’t read music, and she went on to teach him…”

You were hysterical at that point.

“And then…” Andrew choked on his own breath, and it took him a moment to recover and speak again. “Then, he was too afraid that she would push him away if he said anything, so he pretended he didn’t know and let her teach him all over again…”

You were both laughing too hard, the alcohol blurring your senses and making the stupid jokes and silly stories funnier than they ought to be. You looked at the bottle of whisky, admired the empty part of it, felt the burn of its effects on your cheeks.

And you looked at Andrew who was drying his cheeks, his long fingers spread across his stomach. He took off his glasses, they were wet with happy tears. He put them down on your coffee table and leaned into the couch again, slouched and comfortable, with his cheeks flushed with the liquor you had been drinking through the evening. His hair was held back in a messy bun, that had only become messier along the evening.

Damn, you couldn’t help the thought when it crossed your mind, because he was so bloody handsome…

He felt your stare on him, turned his attention fully to you. Focused and expectant, as if he knew you were about to say something incredibly interesting. And this black shirt he had on…

There were butterflies in your stomach and stutters on your tongue while your heart was pounding. You didn’t think. You didn’t think at all, you only felt, and wanted and easily yielded… and perhaps it was just the liquor, you would blame it on the whiskey in a few hours, but for now, you weren’t thinking about tomorrow morning. And for the first time in three months, you weren’t thinking about Frank at all either. Instead, you were thinking of Andrew, of how gentle and warm he looked sitting with you on your couch, how inviting his lips were, how you longed to touch his hair and his beard and him and…

… and then your lips were on his.

You felt him raising his eyebrows, but when you leaned closer and let your fingers find their way to his cheeks, the brush on your cheekbones told you he had closed his eyes too. And there you were, kissing him, and he was kissing you back, your mouths moving in perfect unison somehow, despite a first kiss and too much alcohol. He pulled you closer, wrapping an arm around your waist, while his other hand came up to cradle your face. The long fingers soon moved to your hair though, pulling you closer while he deepened the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck in a slow, lazy movement while you kissed, gasping for air every now and then, but your lips always connected again after a mere instant. You weren’t sure for how long you kept on kissing, too long for it to be meaningless, and yet you refused to think for now.

When you at last opened your eyes again, Andrew blinked at you, seeming a little shocked, and you weren’t sure if it was a good sign or not. You felt dizzy… dizzy with his scent, something of wood and a tinge of spices. Dizzy with his taste still on your tongue, a mixture of whiskey and something that was just him. Dizzy with the burn of his beard against your skin, with the heat of his body against yours.

Dizzy with him…

“Y/N?”

The way he whispered your name, his words a little slurred because of alcohol, and yet it sounded so good, tender, like he cradled the vowels and the consonants in his mouth, with tenderness in the way he spoke it out loud…

He cleared his throat, but didn’t let go, his hands on your waist and in your hair still, and you held onto him for a moment longer, admired how your kisses had reddened his lips.

Why did it feel so good to hold him? Why did it feel so good to kiss him…

“Erm… You… you kissed me.”

“Yeah… yeah, I did,” you whispered, refusing to pull away, remaining in his arms and your lips only centimetres away from his.

“You… I mean… We…”

You felt him leaning closer again as he took a deep breath, felt the brush of his lips on yours… but just when you were about to lean in, he pulled fully away, moving further away on the couch.

“Wait… what’s going on?”

You blinked up at him, regretting his brown curls between your fingers and the warmth of his breath against your mouth. But then your brain kicked in again, and your eyes grew round as the realization of your own movements sank in.

You had kissed him. You had kissed Andrew…

Holy…

“God, I’m sorry,” you stammered. “I… I’m so sorry. I… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. God…”

“It’s alright,” he reassured you, but it was obvious that he was shaken.

“That was so out of line, I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s okay… I… I think we’ve both had a little too much to drink.”

“Yeah… yeah, I think it went to my head.”

Why was your heart aching when you thought he regretted it. He should have regretted it. And you ought to regret it too…

“Frank and Samantha…” you mumbled under your breath, thinking out loud, but Andrew caught your words and nodded.

“Yeah… yeah, we… they are the ones we want.”

He slowly nodded, ran his hand across his face, as if to clear his head.

“You… you were just drunk. Just drunk…”

He looked at his watch.

“God…it’s almost 2 a.m. We should go to bed…”

You nodded again, but stopped him when he pulled out his phone.

“I have an extra bedroom, you can stay if you want.”

“I can take a uber.”

“It’s late. You can stay, if you want to.”

Slowly, he nodded.

You let him head to the bathroom, and hid inside your bedroom, resting your back against its wooden surface as you closed it.

What the fuck was that?

[000marie198]

I love it how in the movies and shows, it is never explicitly mentioned that Hiccup and Snotlout are cousins but it is shown throughout the franchise in little moments so accurately that when you tell a fan they are cousins, there is zero doubt. Their whole dynamic screams cousins, whether it be them trying to freaking destroy the other in the funniest ways or caring about the other while still throwing around insults.

That aside, what I really wanted to point out is how similar some of their skills are. A proof they are cousins is that they share some very specific talents that most people on Berk don't have, talents that match in almost a familial manner.

You guys all know Hiccup's perks and personality and talents right? Well, lemme point out some of Snotlout's and see how they match his cousin's.

A strange combination of Loyal to a fault and Rebellious to a fault. This perk doesn't just apply on Snotlout, Hiccup is like this too but in his own way. It depends on the situation and person and their mood most importantly. Hiccup would sneak out to hunt for trolls and go into forest or try and train dragons or sneak out to go on flights when he's not supposed to etc. And Snotlout would trust and listen and have his team's and leader's back even if he doesn't seem to like it at points. He cares about his friends so much (seriously, go watch the entirety of the DreamWorks Dragons series)

Inventive and artistic. Snotlout works at the armoury at the beginning of RTTE, he also invented the sheep launcher. He's also pretty good at stitching. And I'm preeeetty sure he's able to forge his own weapons and armor now same as Hiccup.

Amateur writers who're actually pretty good. Hiccup's narrations are always fun to listen to and they also indicate that he has a knack for being a writer. In an episode of RTTE, Snotlout wrote a book that the gang found to be pretty good. And while Hiccup has artistic skills in drawing and painting and sketching, Snotlout is good at designing and aesthetics.

They both have a strange tendency to go and get hit on the head by lightning. Actually, lightning really seems to love these two.

Interestingly enough, Snotlout is also shown to be pretty persuasive and encouraging to others when needed, whether it be giving a scared kid a peptalk or talking some sense into someone who's being reckless and stubborn.

Tendency to plan something extremely reckless and crazy when there's a time crunch and those plans surprisingly work. Yes, both Hiccup and Snotlout do that quite often.

They love dragons! And yes, I'm aware that by now, the whole gang loves dragons but Hiccup loves them even more. He is obsessed with them and wants to keep them safe, he cares about these creatures so so much! While the other riders love their dragons more than anybody else but not as much as Hiccup, Snotlout cares about dragons almost in a similar way to how Hiccup and Valka do. He sings lullabies to baby fireworms and is so gentle with them. In The Eel Effect, he went into Hiccup mode with a terrible terror (just before he shook the poor guy but that besides the point) and was giving a speech to start a dragon revolution because he appreciates these creatures and genuinely believes they should be treated with full respect

That is all to say, even if it isn't directly told in the movie-verse, it is shown throughout that Hiccup and Snotlout are cousins and both even have some traits and talents in common

[thecommunityfridge]

infantilism: the musical

All characters are 18+

cw: abdl, messy diapers, diaper change

“Stop, stop, stop.”

Kayleigh obediently stopped, mid-verse, and stepped back, turning to face Ava, the director, who stood at the back of the auditorium. Grace, who was the musical director but also the pianist, and therefore facing in the opposite direction, gave the leading actress a sympathetic grin and pushed her stool away from the keyboard, reaching down for the water bottle that they all knew was a necessity if they wanted to make it through the long hours of rehearsal in this overheated room without gaining blinding headaches along the way.

“Everything OK?”

“It’s missing something,” the director declared, and Kayleigh worked very hard not to roll her eyes. A similar declaration had been made at least three times a day ever since they started rehearsing for this production. Plenty of somethings had been added, and most of them had been taken out again shortly afterwards when the director changed her mind about it after a night’s sleep.

But it was just one of those things that you had to put up with when you did amateur dramatics — you got amateur directors.

“Like what?” Kayleigh inquired, as politely as she could manage, sitting down on the stage with an audible squish and crossing her legs. She’d been standing, walking, and dancing for four hours and counting by now, and if there was an opportunity for an impromptu break then she was absolutely going to take it. “A tap routine? Or a male voice choir? Or a saxophone solo? Or —”

“No, no, none of that. It needs more whimsy. Something like…” The director paused. “Kay, would you stand up and sit down again for me?”

The actress shrugged. “Sure?” She hopped up to her feet and then, somewhat awkwardly, sat down again. Same squish.

“I thought I heard something!”

“Yeah, I need a change.” Kayleigh brushed a hand through her hair. “Sorry, and all that, but —”

“No, no, don’t you see? It’s perfect! That’s what we need!”

Kayleigh and Grace exchanged a series of looks, and at long last, Kayleigh accepted defeat. “What’s what we need?”

“More verisimilitude!”

“Bless you.”

“You’re a baby, right? So why are you standing singing sophisticated stuff with harmonies and counterpoints?”

Grace intervened. “Because that’s what you asked me to write.”

“Yes, yes, yes.” Ava waved a dismissive hand. “But it doesn’t fit! And now I know why! It’s too grown-up.”

“Too grown-up?”

“We have a nursery setting, so we need nursery music!”

“Like… The Wheels on the Bus?”

“No, no. This is an original musical.”

“Oh, of course. Silly me.”

“What we need,” Ava continued, the light of creation in her eyes, “is a score that feels at home in a nursery. We need rattles. We need banging blocks. We need a kind of… nursery ambience. The authentic sounds of the nursery.”

“I cannot conceivably score a musical for rattle and teething ring, Ava.”

“Sure you can.”

Kayleigh stifled a yawn. “So are you guys going to need me for this? Only like I said, I could kinda use a change.”

“And it’s past her naptime,” Grace added, striking a gentle discord on the piano. “Let her go, Ava. She’ll only get fussy otherwise, and we need to work on this.”

The director sighed. “Fine, whatever. Will you put her down, Grace? I’ll try and brainstorm a bit.”

“I guess.” Grace stood up from the stool and stretched, her shoulders cracking. “Ready, Kay?”

“Sure.” The actress got up, taking her friend’s hand. “See you, Ava.”

“See you, Kay. Have a good nap.”

The two exited stage right, leaving the auditorium through a little-used side door, and began the short walk back to Kayleigh’s nearby accommodation.

“Do you think we’re ever actually gonna finish?”

Grace sighed. “Your guess is as good as mine. She doesn’t seem to get it. I can’t just write whole new songs overnight. Maybe there are people who can, but I’m not one of them, and if it goes on like this much longer, there won’t be anything left of the original concept at all.”

Kayleigh squeezed her shorter friend’s hand tightly. “I know you can do it.”

Grace laughed briefly. “Swap you? You write it, I’ll sing it.”

“I don’t think that would end well.” Kayleigh fumbled in her pocket to find her room key, letting them both into her apartment, and Grace wrinkled her nose as they entered.

“Wow, you really do need a change.”

The actress blushed. “Sorry. It was that curry night at the students’ union.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Get your butt on the mat, girl.”

Meekly, Kayleigh laid down on the changing mat which was the centrepiece of her living space, and there was a rustle of fabric as Grace flipped up the other girl’s skirt.

“You reek. Well, here goes nothing.” As was her wont, Grace began humming something faintly soothing under her breath. Whether she meant to calm herself or Kayleigh, the latter was never entirely sure, but it was nice, and so she didn’t question it. She wriggled a little on the mat as the other girl gave her bum an exploratory squeeze, and then couldn’t help giggling as Grace tore the four tapes, one by one, perfectly in time with the rhythm of her tune.

“What are you humming?”

“It’s, uh…” Grace frowned and hummed a few more bars as she tried to remember. “No idea. Something I made up, I think. I always just think of it as Kayleigh’s Stinky Song.”

The actress attempted to swat her friend’s face, but the other girl pulled back and she missed dramatically. “It’s cool, I like it. Title needs some work, though.”

“It’s nothing special.” Grace peeled back the front of her friend’s nappy and pulled a face. “Girl, we are so totally doing something about your diet. This is gross.”

“I can change myself, you know.”

“Eh, what are friends for?” The humming resumed as Grace pulled the baby wipes towards her and opened the lid of the packet with a click.

Kayleigh lay back and enjoyed the tickle of the wipes against her skin, and the soothing notes of the music. “Grace?”

“Yeah?”

“You know that thing you’re humming?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you say it’s an original soundtrack?”

Halfway across Kayleigh’s bottom, the wipe paused, and so did the tune.

“You know, I guess I would.”

“The authentic sounds of the nursery, right?”

“And nurseries don’t get much more authentic than this.”

“Grace!”

[philosophicalparadox]

Interesting Itachi notes

(And a bit more about his ancestors because it’s relevant)

Alright, well, I did not anticipate my Kisame list to be so popular — apparently some of that was NOT common fandom knowledge lol. So I figure why not do the same with his partner, especially after I’ve done labors of love to find this information over the years lol

Starting with VA’s first, once again the boy gets duped by translators. I will forever not forgive Crispin Freeman for not cutting loose like he usually does (I.e. Alucard from Hellsing) because it would have matched the energy of the way Itachi speaks in Japanese so much better lol. Contrary to English speaking fandom interpretation, Itachi talks in Japanese pretty much exactly the way Sasuke does (sassy, scathingly sarcastic, dramatic), minus the cussing and with a few more odd word choices. Itachi is fond of, not puns, precisely, but using words and phrases that have deliberately obscure or double meanings. Which is terribly ironic because he’s very direct and to-the-point about a lot of things; he does in fact mince his words, but he also doesn’t waste time talking at length unless he needs to explain something, but even then he is usually pretty short and almost, if not actually, rude about it. He also is, true to fandom interpretation, rather philosophical, which gives him a pretty idiosyncratic way of speaking; he’s bordering on rudely casual (with other Akatsuki members) if not outright being a bratty lil shit (Kisame, and when he’s dissing Madara to Sasuke) but he’s also patently well versed. He reminds me the most of Sasuke and Kakashi when he talks if that helps lol it’s so hard to explain

HOWEVER there’s one exception right at the beginning: when Itachi encounters Kakashi during their trip to Konoha, his entire (informal, rude-ish) register changes, and kicks up to a more polite but still familiar one. He essentially talks to Kakashi like he’s an old colleague, which he is, but that’s really the first clue we get about that. He noticeably does Not treat Asuma or Kurenai that way; only Kakashi gets referred to as Kakashi-san, which I can only imagine Kisame had lots of questions about after the fact lolll

According to the Hiden and interviews with Kishimoto He’s basically a pseudo-piscivarian, in that he largely prefers to eat vegetables, especially crunchy ones like cabbage and peppers, and actually detests beef and most meat* . That said, we see him eat fish and chicken in canon, so he probably doesn’t mind white meats. Consensus on pork is non existent. He also, yes, prefers sweet foods, but also likes bitter things. His least favorite flavor profiles are Umami/savory (beef, mushrooms), acidic or spicy food and anything oily or fatty. (He shares the latter in common with Sasuke, though he’s the polar opposite in pretty much every other regard.)

His “hobby” according to Kishimoto is visiting traditional tea houses/shops. He really likes tea, and the relaxed atmosphere is soothing to him. Conversely, and unsurprisingly, he doesn’t like visiting bars or other “crowded” places.

Speaking of hobbies and habits, yes, Itachi does like to cook and clean. There’s canon evidence for this, but Kishi also has confirmed it in interviews.

The Itachi Shinden novel implies that he’s at least baseline knowledgeable about traditional medicine. (More on that later) Whether that’s normal-ish knowledge for ninja, an Uchiha thing, or a quirk of his is unclear. Kakashi has similar knowledge, and he’s a total bookworm, so perhaps they are both simply well read lol.

Maybe it’s well known, but I don’t often see people acknowledging that Itachi 1, specializes in gathering Intel, and 2. That he worked closely with Konoha’s intel division consequently. This is acknowledged directly late in the series by Aoba, Itachi’s genin sensei, who also works for Intel under Ibiki.

I’ve mentioned this in another post, but his name has a triple/quadruple meaning— “Itachi” does translate to “weasel”, but it’s also an old catch-all term for any shape-shifting Youkai, though in particular it’s often associated with Tanuki. It’s also a derogatory term for people that are dubiously trustworthy or whose intentions aren’t always clear, as well as a descriptive word whose best English equivalent is the word “skulking”, or moving around like a fox, acting benign or innocent but clearly up to something.

As a related aside, the in-canon reason for his name probably comes from Izuna, in that he was possibly named after him. “Izuna” translates as “stoat/ermine” — like a mini weasel but far more vicious lol. The name Izuna has multiple meanings also, but is a far more common old name because ermines, the winter form of a stoat, were prized for their snow white pelt— consequently, “Izuna” as a descriptor refers to something that’s pure white, or something that’s easily tainted because of its purity (like ermine pelts, which stain easily).** Which gives Madara’s name, meaning “speckled/blotched/piebald/particolour” at the surface and has a double, derogatory meaning of “blemished, scarred, (as by smallpox)”*** some degree of irony lol.

Back to Itachi though —

Let’s talk about his fighting style: there’s no official data about this, but if you watch martial arts enough it’s fairly obvious that Itachi specifically uses a very Aikido inspired style— aikido is a Japanese martial art that began in Korea, and it specializes in non-lethal disarmament by way of holding or locking an opponent into a particular position where they can’t do shit until they exhaust themselves or give up lol. It’s also a defensive style that relies on the opponent doing most of the attacking, with, again, the intent of the Aikido being to arrest their movements or otherwise disarm them principally by using their own attacks/momentum against them, and by feinting dodges to direct their attacks into prime grappling/locking position. Philosophically, Aikido strongly emphasizes non-violence and is more of a self defense art. A classic example of this that he (sort of) uses in canon is when he (as his fake self) locked Kakashi’s clone into a neck hold that forced eye contact — that is based on an actual move in Aikido that is designed to communicate intent and read the opponent’s, but in his case it just happens to work fantastically with his abilities lol. Probably the reason Kishi chose it as the basis of his moveset.

Speaking of abilities, again there’s no official data on it, but from canon interpretation it’s pretty clear that Itachi’s Genjutsu abilities (especially the Tsukiyomi) rely on the opponent seeing him, not the other way around. He can be totally blind (and in the manga at least he mostly is) and his powers still work fine as long as they seek out eye contact with him. Nearest we can tell the base sharingan works in a similar way, but also requires the user to at least be able to see their victims chakra; it can however be used to enhance other genjutsu that doesn’t originate from the Sharingan itself, as evidenced by Sai’s encounter with Sasuke, so 🤷‍♀️. Who knows how it works; I was just thinking about the fact Itachi doesn’t need hand signs to cast a genjutsu even with just his base sharingan active. He could’ve been bluffing Naruto, but if it’s true that the Sharingan can enhance a genjutsu already cast, it would lend itself to explaining that ability. (Or, in HC territory, maybe he’s taught himself to project some of the Sharingan’s power, much like Shisui could.)

Evidence that Itachi’s illness is probably respiratory comes from two things — in the Shinden novel, he uses an herb called Japanese Knotweed in English, which has medicinal uses principally related to the lungs and heart, since it’s a bronchodilator, and two, from the fact that any time a character in Naruto is severely ill they all seem to have respiratory diseases lol. Hayate dying of what looks like tuberculosis, side characters on their sickbeds with coughs, etc. there’s a cultural and industry reason why that’s so — one, lung diseases are ✨dramatic✨ and two, just like how the Victorians romanticized “consumption” (aka, tuberculosis) Japan did something very similar after an outbreak hit Kyoto in the late 1800’s, probably from a different strain brought by Dutch ships. So the image is engrained.

To add a few notes:

* The fact Itachi hates beef and isn’t fond of meat has…potentially interesting, implications. Meat, especially beef,= masculinity in Japan, so being vegetarian has long since been a very UnMasculine thing to do, and therefore is associated with cross dressers and Queer men in Japan. That he also appreciates feminine pastimes like cooking, cleaning, and tea houses (and by extension ceremonies) sets up a bit of a queer code for him lol.

** I’m not done talking about Izuna lol because, as you’d expect, it’s very often a girl name. Because yknow, purity culture stuff. Yeah Japan had it too.

*** a historical note about Madara because I just can’t justify making another list for him, 1. Madara is a common name for calico cats, especially rare male calicos, and 2. It’s not surprising that there’s a ton of correlation between Madara and historical Nobunaga, but I honestly think he got his name partly because of a stand out feature Nobunaga had — he was severely scarred from smallpox as a child. So it’s possible, though there aren’t historical accounts of it, that he might’ve been jeered at with the derogatory form of Madara. Certainly Oda Nobunaga’s clan fucking hated him lol

Anyway, I’m done for now unless I think of something else. Do with this information what you will. 🕊️

[lvrstrsh]

the way this song is so fitting for the three arcane ships (caitvi, jayvik, timebomb) omg?? maybe not so much caitvi but during their breakup era yes a little bit.

"you're the best thing to ever happen to me but also the worst thing to ever happen to me. on that day when i met you, maybe i would rather that it never happened to me" is SOOOOOO JAYVIK CODED I'M ACTUALLY GONNA JUMP OUT A FUCKING WINDOW JAHHSWQO. viktor saved jayce from killing himself, helped him achieve his life's goal to channel magic. alternatively, jayce helped viktor to be more than just an assistant, gave him purpose and did with hextech what viktor always wanted to do: help people. HOWEVER, them meeting ultimately led to their deaths (actually erm i refuse to believe they're dead and prefer to believe they're in some higher form of existence giving each other cosmic backshots 💜). them meeting helped bring hextech to the world which, as it happens, was the beginning of the end. the formation of the hexcore, viktor turning into robotic jesus, starting the cult, the formation of the anomaly that sent jayce to the ruined dimension (poor guy also lost his mind) so although jayce was able to fulfill his life's dream, it also was the thing that ruined him. if they never met, this all could've been avoided, which is easily seen in the dimension ekko & heimerdinger were sent to. they were best friends, equals in the sense of intellect and generally just two halves of one whole (saw someone on insta relate them to the sin²x + cos ²x = 1 formula and gen crashed the fuck out) hence, the best and worst thing to ever happen to each other.

"why does hearing your name hurt me when it hides right there in the vicinity? what kind of emotion, is it hatred or pure sweetness when i hear your name?" we all know ekko and powder were childhood friends. due to a series of unfortunate events, powder was taken under silco's care — the same person who was the cause of vander's and benzo's death (who were like father figures to ekko). powder became jinx and was working for silco, who was using shimmer to exploit his own people. as ekko grew up, all he did was work to defeat the purpose jinx was working for. imagine how much it must hurt for him to know someone who meant sm to him is doing all this to his people. her name brings bitterness, but also the sweet press of memories of simpler times. then, obviously, ekko was sent to the other dimension. saw that other dimension have everything he ever wanted (except vi ☹️). powder was still HIS powder. his life was playing out just the way he wanted. however it wasn't REAL. he got a glimpse of what could've been. in that dimension ekko and powder grew up to fall in love. imagine coming from your reality where you're enemies, and the being sent to this one where you're lovers. but you can't stay, no matter how happy it makes you. he got a taste of the sweetness that could've been. then he had to go BACK to his reality, where he saw the same girl he could've fallen in love with try to kill herself. and, afterwards, when you've basically saved the world, you're left all alone and are led to believe she's dead (uhm which she's not trust 🙏)

i don't think i have to explain the 'worst of all blessings, the best of all curses' verse in relation to both the ships because AHHHHHWJWJWJWIWIWIWJSIQIQJWIIWIWSIJQIDBCIAOJW

alright guys anyways thank u for coming to my ted talk 😁

[quibbs126]

So today I learned that apparently g1 Galvatron is just like, actually insane, as in severely mentally ill

There’s apparently an episode where one of his own men commits him to a mental hospital to get help (but the treatments don’t work and he blows the place up, and I heard it’s actually supposed to be about bad mental health institutions but idk I haven’t seen the episode)

And I don’t know, I find this fascinating. Also alongside the fact that he used to be Megatron, the powerful leader of the Decepticons, but seemingly after being remade to serve Unicron, he became a different person but also maybe not?

Admittedly I’m not the most well versed in this topic because I haven’t yet seen the 86 movie or Season 3, I’ve only heard things from YouTube videos and posts on tumblr

But back on topic, I kind of want future series to explore this with Galvatron. From what I understand, in more recent continuities, he and Megatron tend to be made separate characters, likely in part because they want to make more sympathetic Megatrons and he works as an evil alternative. But I want to see them as the same person and have this explored more

Like maybe the idea that Unicron stripped away the last semblances of Megatron from him, and he’s trying to regain it without entirely understanding how, and maybe re-evaluating the things he’s done to even get to this point in the first place

Okay to be perfectly honest, I don’t think I know exactly how I want this to play out. I’m struggling to come up with the right words here, I already deleted my first idea and I’m not sure I like the one above. What I do know is that I’m intrigued by the idea of Galvatron being genuinely mentally unwell, possibly to the point where his own comrades try to help him get better (and also maybe Optimus trying to help since he’s a lot closer to Megatron these days), as well as the potential loss of identity becoming Galvatron brings him and him trying to regain semblances of what he once was

[extremely-judgemental]

Writing a fanfic for this series is just pissing me off. I ignored most of the flaws in political setting and magic system in ACOTAR since it’s a romantasy and I had very low expectations from SJM. But I’ve got questions now. I could have missed a lot of these because of Feyre’s insufferable monologuing and I was busy raging on IC’s atrocities. I'm not well verse with fae lore, so I’ll welcome any explanation from people who have been here for years.

High Lord’s power transfer. It’s by accident Feyre gets her powers when she is resurrected as no one knows how it works. How did every HL make the same mistake at the exact same time in the exact same way? It makes better sense that Feyre gets one or two powers. Maybe from Tamlin or Rhysand alone, since they are the ones desperate to bring her back and give her more than needed. (Which also supports ‘Rhysand planned it’ theory since he’s the one urging them in their minds)

Inheriting multiple powers. Feyre’s wind power is actually Tamlin’s, right? And her shapeshifting is also from him. Why two powers from him and one from everyone else? The previous theory could have worked here too.

Shape-shifting. Tamlin only ever takes his beast form often and only one shown to turn others into wolves. If he could shift into any other form himself, he would have done it in Hybern’s camp, grow wings and fly off, or something else that gives him an advantage. So, let’s go with one form theory. If Feyre inherits this power from him, how is her shifting abilities customisable? And every HL has a shifter form and it's fixed too, so this is just. . . Now, this would have made more sense if Feyre only morphs into that creature she sees in Ouroboros instead of her growing Illyrian wings and parading them around.

Feyre’s arsenal of powers. This one is odd because how does this make her more powerful than every HL? Sure she can access multiple powers and it gives her an edge but she won’t win against one HL at a time. Hers must be like a gift bag of powers HLs possessed UtM. Besides, the HLs are bestowed with magic by the lands itself at their ascension which is what makes them the most powerful in their respective courts, not the markers they were born with. If they could just pass that level of power on, they could very well do to their offsprings.

Good HLs. How is none of them petty? These are old-timey, traditional magical beings. Except for Beron, who also conveniently happens to be an abuser, every one of them is good-hearted? How do they all happen to be about ultimate peace and not saving their own asses and their courts? We know the land’s magic doesn’t pick one based on morality or character, else we wouldn’t have. . .well Rhysand and Beron.

Helion’s friendship. How is he the only one who knows IC’s true nature? Is it a ‘birds of same feather flock together’ kinda thing (although Helion is decent till now)? Why does the IC reveal their true selves without the mask in the first place? I won’t be reading the next books, so lemme know if you find out in Lucien’s story. Here’s what I think, SJM used him to support the theory that her poor Rhysand is good and loveable. Now can’t prove that with every HL hating him.

Tax system. Again, old-fashioned courts. Why is Spring’s taxing (ignoring the fact that it is important for governance) bitched about so much? Every court must have some fucked up system in place. Rhysand's treasure cave is definitely a result of taxes.

Calanmai. Why is this a disgusting ritual when they are. . .fae and it’s just an orgy and everything is consensual (unlike what Rhysand did to Feyre UtM)? And every HL and priestesses are participating willingly. And every one else is having a good time, which Feyre herself observes. The three who attack her do so because she is a human, moreover if something like that did happen, isn’t every HL present accountable for participating and letting it? I mean, it’s not as hideous as wing clipping.

Velaris. If the place is warded, how does it have a thriving trade? It was explained a bit in the book, still it doesn’t make sense. The magic doesn’t let anyone enter and confuses them if they get too close. The name of the city itself is erased from memory. What trade are they having outside the city when no one can even talk about it or outsiders can’t remember it? They will have to make a lot of exceptions which counters the point having all these precautions. Or ‘someone’ will have to go into their minds and enforce all this, but that can’t happen because of Rhysand’s ethics.

Hewn City. How are all people here rich snobs? If they are trapped under the mountain and how are their trade systems? Or if they can get out of the mountain, why haven’t they populated outside yet?

Illyrian trade. Velaris and Hewn City are localised communities rolling in riches. Illyria which is out in the open is taking handouts from Cassian? These are the ones who should be truly rich since they don’t play by HL’s rules either. They don’t trade because they are training 24x7? The only businesses are clothing and supplies? Where are they getting those from? They can’t grow everything they need on mountain tops. Who are working here and making stuff if all the men are training and women are doing chores?

Illyrian lifestyle. There hasn’t been a major war in 500 years since the wall went up. Now, if there’s peace for that long, won’t the people go a bit lax with their army? No one in 500 years went ‘hey, we’ve had a quiet life for a while, let’s just do something else instead of getting killed in stupid games or training pits’. And every court is afraid of the 'most powerful HL ever' to go against them. Even if their bodies are designed to be a perfect soldier, how long has it been? 15 000 years? Won’t evolution take over a little?

Nesta’s apartment. IIRC the building is torn down to build a veteran community, right? Why? Why in Velaris when all their warriors are from CoN and Illyria, and none of them are allowed inside? Which reminds me, how did that weaver’s husband go to the war when none of them ever fought or were recruited?

Daemati. This one is more of a rant. ACOTAR is the only series where the mind controller/reader’s words are taken at face value by everyone. Especially when the guy had been walking around terrorising and lying and scheming all his life. It’s basically the plot of almost every fic with a telepathic character that there will always be trust issues around that person and for good reason. Is everyone that stupid?

If any of you got posts already on these, tag them and let my brain rest easy.

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Realized that last night was the Feast of the Parting and I had a question. When it comes to soulmates in Pieces Verse, are they the same every life? AND are these 6 entangled with each other in every life?

(actually, feast of the parting happens on the new moon closest to the hibernal equinox, which this year is in about a week on the 30th!)

okay so to explain this ive gotta get into the nitty gritty details of how reincarnation works in this religion, and across different religious denominations

the overlap - people are believed to reincarnate into new lives for the purpose of Learning A Lesson. each life teaches you something, and this is supposed to improve your souls sort of resonance with the rest of the world. More Harmony Good

in the denomination patton and virgils families follow, the pattern is typically that they believe you will be a person when you need a very Big Lesson, because being a person is one of the harder things to be, and then you get a kind of 'break' and then you get to be bugs or plants for a hundred years or so to rest up a bit

in this framework, when people are 'made' before theyre born/getting ready to 'come back,' -

(side tangent this isnt considered a *separate* afterlife really, the idea is that dead folks and other souls are sort of floating around in parallel ether- this is a house with two rooms and thin walls, and birth/dying is walking back and forth through the door to the other)

-theyre made as one 'piece' in pairs (or triads, etc) in the position they'll be in when they first touch, and then theyre split the idea is that theyre sort of snipped apart at the soulmark and sent on ahead separately

also irt being human being The Biggest Lesson, they are also the only species that has soulmarks, animals dont - so the soulmate is considered an integral part of this lesson (which conservatives usually flatten to 'learn to love (romantically) better' but which more liberal churches stress can be anything)

so in fact, in this framework your soulmate is explicitly different every time. your soul is fashioned in a new shape and needs a new pair, supposedly.

as for the second bit we gotta talk about the nobles

the broad strokes are very similar - you are reincarnated to learn/improve yourself, but the nobles view this on much less emotional lines and more materially, and they dont typically believe the alternating-human-plant-animal thing - nobles believe you go directly from being a noble human to being A Higher Noble Human, until the very best smartest most awesome people /heavy s are reincarnated into the royal families and may or may not become monarch

ah but when the monarch dies, what then? because westrand is obviously the best country, and the monarch is the best person, theres nowhere better to go! /more s

well they believe that the monarch 'Ascends' and becomes permanently immaterial ie in the other room, manipulating the world from there because theyve 'earned' their way into being in charge of the eventual One 2: Electric Boogaloo

the nobles also believe in absolute predestination, that every part of their lives from birth to death was written by them and the souls of their family members before they were ever born. they believe souls who were tied by blood ties in life will always be born still tied by blood. so when a noble makes a marriage match in an attempt to gain political clout, they are also trying to improve their 'spiritual' clout by blood-tying themselves to an equally 'spiritually superior' family

they do think that a soulbond teaches you a lesson, but they usually think that lesson always ought to be 'i dont need a soulmate or indeed any human love or connection at all, wym' - some more liberal nobles believe it more along the lines of 'we have to make sacrifices in order to be the best rulers we can be' but its still not great vibes

as for which of these is materially true, since the series deals so much with sometimes traumatic religious themes, and i because i have multiple denominations and do plan on introducing some minority religions (soon!) im not actually going to say any of the things above are canon or otherwise except that theyre the canonical beliefs of the in-universe religion. i just dont feel like it makes sense to say 'you dont have to do all the bullshit that your religion raised you to do' and then turn around and make one of the religions explicitly and confirmably real

[moonbaby26]

Video link above for further evidence of my comparison, may have to click twice to go to YouTube. But have any of my One Piece moots watched The Boys? It gets super gross and weird sometimes I know. Definitely explicit/not for general audiences. But I’ve always thought Homelander is basically Doffy if he was raised from a child into a god complex human weapon for the U.S. government, instead of a fallen god working for the World Government.

Minor Differences:

-Americana themed instead of flamingo themed (because let’s be honest, we totally would do that to our human weapon)

-laser eyes to chop people up instead of strings to chop people up

Strong Similarities:

-aesthetics of tall, blond, and muscular

-smiles and laughs a lot, but the more he does, the faker it probably is, and the more you need to be arranging your final wishes

-EXTREME mommy issues, is f*cking basically the younger Tsuru/mother figure of his verse, while still wanting to be coddled by her

-JEALOUS as f*ck too, do not reject or ignore this man, he’s needy and obsessive as hell

-god complex. Homelander says normal humans are “mud people” and pets at best at one point I think, he really thinks he’s a higher life form and us annoying insects are just here to be used by him

-works for a corrupt government/corporation as part of a team of seven warlords superpowered individuals

-repeatedly plays hero for the cameras/media, but actually is responsible for nearly every horrible thing that goes down in the series, including killing the very people that think he’s protecting them

-flips moods like a light switch, his actor does so much acting with his face alone, my god it’s terrifying in some scenes

-DO NOT BETRAY HIM. I REPEAT, DO NOT BETRAY! If he even thinks one of his allies is going behind his back…instant bye bye no matter how long he knew or previously tolerated you 💀

-Insecure, vain, petulant, and arrested development because of his traumatic childhood. He was used/groomed before he got too difficult to control and became his own monster. Just like Doffy with Trebol to a degree.

And much more. But this post is already long enough. I’ve even heard some people hope his actor Antony Starr would audition for Doffy in the live action. But I feel like he wouldn’t want to be type cast right back into more of the same once done with The Boys? The part would really be very similar when you get down to the heart of the character. Just more outwardly flamboyant for Doffy. But who knows?

(And yes, I need to post fic badly 😭. But work and repeated migraines are kicking my ass. So I shall waste time with stuff like this. Love you all! Sorry if I’ve been quiet/slow to respond.)

Tagging some moots to show you: @physics-of-one-piece , @tuquidflamingo , @saracrossing02 , @donquixotehomura , @coralpeanutdragonfruit

[kiwiana-writes]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

A big ol' fuck you to @rmd-writes for the tag xoxo

1. How many works do you have an AO3? Lol. Lmao even. 289.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 914,620 on AO3, but that includes co-writes as well as things I've podficced where the fic and pod are in the same work. My actual personally-written wordcount, per my Batshit Spreadsheet, is 771,819.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Mostly RWRB these days, though most of my back catalogue is Schitt's Creek. Also The Pairing and various other things scattered about.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Kinda think that I might be his type aka Alex and Bea fake date coming in at the top spot, which will never not bewilder me. Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely fic!! But I am always surprised that it was a few hundred more kudos than:

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest), the Much Ado actors AU. My magnum opus, my beloved.

We were supposed to find this - baby's first soulmate AU and my first RWRB fic. The brainrot really took hold with this one lmao.

All the Lonely Starbucks Lovers, in which Henry takes 'open mouth insert foot' to a whole new level.

Warm like the glow that you feel head to toe, the age gap fic with older Senator Alex and younger Prince Henry. This is probably the only one in my top five that really surprises me, considering age gaps are... divisive.

5. Do you respond to comments? Always always always.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I mean I did write that one MCD fic in Schitt's Creek, though I maintain the other five parts in that 5+1 are in fact angstier than the MCD ending.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhhhhh, the rest? The Doylist answer is any of my fics where the HEA is literally forever rather than 'till death do us part'; so, the Schitt's Creek afterlife AU and the RWRB zombie!Alex AU. (Is that all? Am I forgetting one?)

8. Do you get hate on fics? Yeah, sometimes. Weirdly, more through tumblr anons than on the fics themselves? A lot of them I just delete, sometimes I'll give them a bit of a public scolding etc. Frankly at this point if you come into my ask box to be a cunt on anon I'm going to assume you have a public humiliation kink and will indulge you accordingly.

9. Do you write smut? Who's to say.

10. Do you write crossovers? I'm more inclined towards a fusion than a crossover (love a good media fusion) but I did write a short RWRB/The Pairing crossover for VoiceTeam.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. Someone did ask recently, so we'll see!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? HEAPS. @ships-to-sail is an ongoing collaborator, but I also did a bunch of "each write a chapter" type collabs in Schitt's Creek. Currently co-writing something truly fucking incredible with @indestructibleheart.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? IDK if it's a WIP by the strictest definition, but every day the likelihood of the SC kink!verse series being completed slips further away lol.

16. What are your writing strengths? Rae, you're the worst.

Smut, I guess? Giving people new kinks, apparently. Character voice. Also a very specific type of world-building where I explain nothing because the characters already live in that world and let y'all infer how it works, which came up a LOT on one of this year's Kinktober fics in particular and led to my spouse saying "okay so you're basically the Brennan Lee Mulligan of tree fucking", which is sure not a sentence I expected to ever be directed towards me, but here we are.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Anything original, apparently. Good thing I didn't quit my job to be a writer or anything OH WAIT.

(In all seriousness, though, I am genuinely shit at, like, plotting. And action sequences.)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? If it makes sense for the character, sure! I'm enlisting someone who speaks it for anything more complicated than, like, a pet name - I've seen what Google Translate tries to spit out for my second language and therefore don't trust it lmao.

19. First fandom you wrote for? terf queen mcgee's property.

20. Favourite fics you've written? The RWRB fic specifically based on the episode The Husbands of River Song from Doctor Who. Hands down the best thing I've ever written.

I also fucking LOVED the Much Ado actor AU. My love letter to Shakespeare and theatre and queer joy.

-

Tagging @blueeyedgrlwrites @cactusdragon517 @cricketnationrise @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic

@hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @notspecialbabe @orchidscript

@piratefalls @sherryvalli @sparklepocalypse @stereopticons @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play! 

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

A (Partial, Hypothetical) Map of the

Arachno-Humanoid PolyMultiverse

[A slightly MEDIUM length post where I mapped out and explain the positions of the different universes we see in ATSV -

and how those distances can effect everything to travel time - to the reason why Miles got bitten (maybe..based on my charting and data)]

Did I use common grouping and graphing to make a connectivity map of the universes within the Arachno-Humanoid-PolyMultiverse based on common attributes and similarities?

Why no - I didn't. Lyla gave me this map this morning. So there. _______________________________________

You know what pisses me off? ATSV showing us amazing ass things and then not stopping to explain them at all. Lucky for them, I have autism, a keyboard, and way too much time. So allow me.

'This is Everything': Okay but what is it?

The Spider-verse series is like an expert at going 'this is super interesting but i also I refuse to explain'

But one thing I've always found this SUPER interesting - The Portals. Because LOOK AT THEM. Like... the watch is creating a channel along a set path! It has velocity! How fast are they going? How far?!!

In lots of other Marvel movies like Doctor Strange, teleportation between universes is instantaneous. This is true for a lot of sci-fi.

However, for Spider-verse, they chose something different.

We see them flying and falling through portals, many of them twisting and turning. And it got me thinking -

If they're flying from point A to point B - Doesn't that imply that the universes have set locations - with measurable, varying distance between them?

And if so - how close are they together? Does it always take the same amount of time? Are some too far to get to without jumping to a closer location first?

So many possibilities! I was so curious to make sense of this. How does the watch KNOW where to go? Where every universe is?

The Solution:

I realized that each universe has similarities - and if similarity = proximity, there could be a way to map the universes by asking three simple questions:

Are they in the modern era? Are they in New York - or something like it? Are they stylized?

And what I got was a map that actually explains some very interesting things in the movie! (If you play by my logic, lol)

Graph Breakdown : How to read

[Explainer and breakdown below the cut PLUS a clearer version - so you can map out your sona!]

The graph is made up of two different points - Cluster Centers & Universes:

The Three Clusters: Location, Time, & Style

Cluster Centers are specific attributes that universes share, and these attributes clump similar universes together, shortening the distance between them.

There are 3 cluster centers, based on the three questions:

The Time Desynchronization Cluster: For universes that exist outside of the modern era The Stylization Cluster: For universes with artistic stylization The New York Cluster: For universes in which the Spider-person is based in New York, or a rendition of it.

These clusters are arranged in a triangle with sides of equal length.

Then, a universe is placed on the map based on whether they fit the criteria and how much they fit the criteria.

How much they fit each criteria determines each universe's proximity to each other, and the pathways the watches will take to get from location to location as quick as possible.

For example:

Plotting Universes: Distances & Changes

Using these three Clusters, we can plot almost any Spider-person or Spidersona on the map!

Universes that share attributes and clusters are closer together, shortening the distance and time it takes to complete jumps.

In addition, universes with lots of cluster connections and nearby universes are considered more stable, the strands of the web closer together, and quicker in general.

And just for reference:

The places in which the universes' lines cross are common canon events they share.

Looking at the plotted Universes, we can see some cool things about how they work:

[My lovely OC's, DiscoSpider Diane and Inca-Spider Moche plotted as examples]

The proximity matters in context too! And it seems to effect a lot of things - like observably in the movie.

The closeness of two universes, can possibly explain the time it takes to get there, why some people fall into other universes, and how easy it is to assimilate into another's universe.

Some cool things to note:

Gwen and Miles' universes are next to each other. Which could explain how she fell into his world. Gwen is way more stylized than Miles, so she's closer to that Cluster than he is.

Peter's universe (not charted..lol) would be next to Miles' & Pavitrs - which also explains his involvement in ITSV.

Noir, Spider-Ham, and Peni Parker would all be close-by as well.

Miles and Pavi's universes are next to each other. Miles & Pavi share all three attributes. Because of this, Miles and Pavi's universes are right next to each other. Which could be why Gwen & Miles' jump to Mumbattan is very short and quick.

Pavi's universe is next to HQ. Pavi is modern, low-stylization, and based in a New York adjacent city. This is true for Miguel too, however, he's in 2099, desynchronized from time. Them being right next to each other could explain how so many members of the Spider Society arrived to Mumbattan quickly to contain the anomaly - as all they would need to do is traverse the time difference.

The stylized characters are charted 'most stylized' to least - left to right, based on medium/inspo: Gwen being first (watercolor), then Hobie (collages of prints, text, and real people), and then Noir (completely shaded with no color, but based off of live-action films), then Patrick a.k.a Webslinger (based on live-action Westerns).

Because of this layout, Hobie's universe borders Gwen's. This could explain how Gwen stayed at his place without being noticed for her differing style (which - as we see with Miles and Spider-Ham, would be obvious). But Gwen universe being nearby, could be why she didn't stand out too much.

Hobie's universe borders Noir's. This is very cute. I love them. Happy feelings.

Noir's universe borders Diane's. Because they both live in New York, and are desynchronized from time (Noir being 1933, and Diane 1982) - Noir and Diane's universe sit next to each other. This makes a lot of sense - Noir's world is perpetually white and black - literally 'noir', while Diane's world lacks a day-cycle, making it always night-time.

Because they share these attributes with Miguel as well - Nueva York, 2099 - Noir and Diane actually live 'closest' to campus, along with Pavitr third.

Despite both being O'hara's, Patrick's universe is REALLY far from Miguel's. This is because WebSlinger's universe is time desynchronized in the opposite direction, very far in the past. He's also stylized - and he lives in the Wild West, not New York. Hence the distance.

As is Moche's - Miguel's wife. Like Miguel, Moche lives in a time desynchronized universe (his 2099, hers 1992) - however Moche is from Peru, hence why her and Patrick are the farthest from the New York Cluster. Moche's world is stylized as photorealistic, moreso than Miles, so she's the farthest from that cluster as well.

Miles' and Wiles' universes would be almost directly next to each other - which explains the spider-bite and the fact Miles' DNA changed so easily. Not all variants are next to each other though - Hobie's 616 Prowler variant is actually pretty far from his.

Uhhh...yeah, I think that's everything. But mind you - that's only a two dimensional slice of THIS

Hopefully I was able to decode like 0.0001% of it.

This is all speculation and my imagination, But what came out of it is INTERESTING AS HELL TO ME. Writers...pleasee...feed me more random stills in which I can consume.

Also Miguel if you're reading this please hire me I have a degree in Archnohumanoid Poly-Multiversal Research that's good for nothing and I desperately need a job-

________________________________

I hope you liked this and this made sense! It was just a fun little experiment to do that turned out to be REALLY interesting to chart out/decipher.

Lemme know what you think about how it all works and stuff and what you think of this!

If you made it this far! Thank you so much!! SERIOUSLY THANK YOU

Here's a copy of the map with smaller universes, so you can slot in your own sonas! Plus, a pic of Hobie for your troubles.

His eyes are so pretty. Can you believe he's in love with my Spidersona thats crazzzyy

Bye.

[goddessofroyalty]

I just binged your entire Zaun Family series on ao3, I just had to ask how would Viktor get his limp in your AU? I can see Silco being more of a helicopter dam because of said disability and not knowing if Viktor was gonna make it this far in life, same with finding out Viktor pregnancy, not knowing if his own pup was gonna live because of how weak his body is

I know I've discussed it at least in passing before but I also don't want to try and find those posts (maybe later if I get motivated to do the dig I'll add them in).

There's a few factors that are feeding into Viktor's leg in this verse and it's the kind of thing where it's impossible to say how much any one of them caused it vs how much it's the result of the culmination of all of them. But the factors include:

Viktor was born breach and his leg was caught in the birth

Viktor, especially when he was little, had low bone-denisity as a result of the lack of nutrition available while Silco was pregnant / Viktor was young and the toxic fumes they're living in at the time

Viktor didn't recieve any baby-checkups that might have caught that there was an issue with his knee so nobody realised it until he was crawling / walking

Because of the general poverty the medical options available once it is discovered are limited (taking into account that it isn't life threatening)

Eventually he develops the disease he has in Season 1

The thing is that while they are worried about his leg they're not actually worried about his leg. What I mean by that is nobody actually cares that he has a limp or a 'bad leg' - Zaun is full with people with various disabilities and generally Zaun seems pretty good with mobility aids. Okay, sure, Viktor is never going to be a work-horse like his father but Silco and Vander are more and more positioning themselves where the fact he's proving to be smart is much more useful. But they are concerned that it the precurser to something worse (which it does eventually become - first his spine also needs support and then, more worryingly, the Season 1 disease).

It definitively feeds into Silco's protectiveness of him and rage at Piltover. Because all the factors that might have caused / contributed it are things that are either directly / indirectly Piltover's fault. And, again, it's not just a one-off thing but something that is degenerative, something that might cause his son to die earlier than he should.

Silco is so worried (and angry) about the pregnancy. He had difficult pregnancies and births (they all could have killed him and Mylo's nearly did) and he doesn't have the pre-existing conditions Viktor has. Even with access to the Piltover medical system Silco is still very aware that he might lose his child because of this and therefore is very overbearing as a result.

[princesssarisa]

I've been thinking about The Swan Princess. I haven't seen the entire series, but the original movie was a childhood favorite of mine.

I've been thinking of some ways the movie could have been better.

First and foremost, the issue of "What else is there?" How to offend women in 5 syllables or less keep the plot point of Prince Derek saying those words when Odette asks him if he loves her for more than just her beauty, yet without making so many audience members permanently hate him for it.

I actually wrote two entries on the Fridge Brilliance page on TV Tropes about this plot point. (1) This is a fairy tale, and in most classic fairy tales, love is just a matter of beauty, so that's what Derek expects. (2) There are hints throughout the song "This Is My Idea" that young Derek and Odette like each other long before they admit it to themselves. Adult Derek thinks at first that he fell instantly in love with Odette when he saw she had grown beautiful, but by the end he realizes he loved her long beforehand, for who she is as a person.

But maybe those things should have been made more explicit.

I personally would have made the movie more explicitly a deconstruction of classic fairy tale romances with their beauty-based Love at First Sight, more in the vein of later movies like Frozen. I would add some dialogue either before or between the verses of "This Is My Idea" showing Queen Uberta (bubbly romantic that she is) reading a classic Love at First Sight fairy tale to young Derek, and telling him that someday, when they're grown up, Odette will be beautiful and a single glance will make him love her. I might also add some dialogue for adult Derek later in the song, where he complains about having to marry Odette and imagines his preferred scenario – riding through the woods one day, suddenly encountering a beautiful dancing maiden, and knowing instantly that she's the one (a la Disney's Sleeping Beauty, or the original Swan Lake). This would show that he believes in classic fairy tale romance. Thus when "What else is there?" eventually happens, the audience's impression won't be "Derek is a shallow jerk who only values women for their looks" but "Derek has been raised with a fairy tale concept of love as something you feel just because the other person is beautiful."

Later, the ball scenes and "Princesses On Parade" would make it clear that Uberta is again trying to force the fairy tale concept of love on her son, hoping for a Cinderella-style Love at First Sight at the ball. But of course it doesn't work, not only because he's faithful to Odette, but because Love at First Sight isn't real.

I would also add some scenes throughout the movie where Odette and Derek each reminisce about their shared childhood. Odette could tell her three animal sidekicks about it, while Derek could recall it with Bromley and Rogers. This would help to avert the problem some critics find with the movie as it is: that Odette and Derek seem like different people as adults than as children and are much blander than their feisty child selves. It would also show us explicitly that they did like each other long before they knew it. We would see flashbacks to their childhood fights and pranks, and their adult selves would laugh wistfully and make remarks like "I wouldn't admit it to myself, but I enjoyed all that" and "We were never really enemies, we were just too stubborn and foolish to admit that we were friends."

Around the same time, I would also have Odette say a word or two about "What else is there?" to her animal friends, to explain why she's fully committed to Derek again despite having broken off their betrothal earlier. (Of course the cynical view would be that she only forgives Derek because she wants him to break her spell, but this movie isn't supposed to be cynical.) She would say something like "I shouldn't have left him. I know in my heart that he truly loves me, he just couldn't put it into words."

Going back to the childhood scenes, I would also find some way during "This Is My Idea" for young Odette to show her kindness. If at the end of the movie, Derek is going to say that he loves Odette for her kindness, then we should see her display it in front of him. I might show her finding and caring for a small animal in need – e.g. a stray kitten, or an injured bird – and young Derek would act nauseated by the sappiness of it all. But later, when Odette wasn't around, we'd see him find another lost or injured animal and care for it just like she did, showing that her kindness has rubbed off on him.

In his ultimate love confession, I would also have Derek say that he loves Odette's "cleverness" as well as her kindness and courage. That would reinforce the point that he fell subconsciously in love with her during their battles of will and wits in their childhood.

I think these tweaks would bring more consistency and depth to the love story and ensure viewers' sympathy for both of the two leads.

[mistressoftherant-blog]

TMNT Fanfic Complaints

As this blog is mostly a space to vent, and I am currently obsessed with pretty much every iteration of the TMNT, I thought I'd throw together a list of things that make me close a fanfic instantly. If you like any of these things, then that's totally fine, but for the most part, any of these things will have me dropping a fic in minutes. A few of these are aligned with posts I've made in the past, but I am noting them down anyway as this is a way of me getting out a lot of my major complaints at once 😅

No.1 Having all the brothers be abusive (particularly towards Mikey), with bonus points for any crossover that will then have one version of the turtles chastising the others for the way they treat their brothers. It just doesn't work, every set have very specific dynamics, but none of them are abusive.

No. 2 Crossover fics that make it impossible to tell who is who. This can occur in a few different ways. One of which is that the authors completely fail to differentiate different universes, making every single version of the turtles talk and act in the same way. Another is when a fic gets flooded with nicknames/pronouns/usernames, without a decent key. If you have a crossover fic with even just 3 or 4 universes, but every single turtle has multiple sets of pronouns, multiple nicknames, and multiple usernames, you really need a way to make it clear who is who.

No.3 The 'poor baby Blue' phenomenon in which every version of the turtles seemingly forgets all of the horror they have suffered because of what the Rise boys have gone through, particularly Leo. I honestly hate it when I am reading a crossover fic and all of the trauma from every series is disregarded in the face of the Rise Shredder and Rise Krang, which brings me on to my next point...

No.4 Essentially an extension of No.3, but can we all finally drop the idea that the Rise Boys had the scariest villains? Sure, their Shredder and Krang were intense, but for the most part, their villains are all pretty much played for comic relief. Either 03 or 12 had the scariest villains. And before anyone comes at me like 'Oh, Rise Shredder was a demon, the Rise Krang managed to take over the world, etc', may I remind everyone that 03 also had a demon Shredder who took over the world (and multiple others including the one who took over in SAINW), and the 12 Triceratons straight up destroyed the Earth with a black hole?

No.5 Fics that give away traits from one turtle to another e.g. making any of the other turtles better at science/math/tech etc than Donnie. Each of the turtles has their own thing, and Donnie will always be the smartest academics wise. It annoys me to no end when people try and make any if the others, usually Rise Leo or 12 Mikey, out to be a genius like him. I actually once read a fic where Rise Donnie asked Leo to help someone with a chemistry question that he couldn't handle. It's ridiculous, and usually carries over from the headcanon that Rise Leo is the medic (is there genuinely any evidence for this in the show besides Leo having a pouch? Because the only time I can recall anything medical related being brought up was when Donnie mentioned Raph's allergies). I have also seen people talk about Rise Leo loving to dance more than Donnie, even when the show explicitly states on multiple occasions how much Bootyyyshaker9000 loves to dance (also making Leo a massive theatre kid when Donnie breaks into songs and dance numbers on multiple occasions.) Or when 12 fans make Mikey the artist when it is actually Raph.

No. 6 (people will probably be mad at this one) Stop making everything about Leosagi, please! He doesn't even exist in the Rise verse, yet the entire fandom is absolutely swamped with Leosagi content. It's annoying when you are reading a Rise fic, and then out of nowhere it all becomes about Leo's relationship with Usagi. These fics also tend to make Usagi the most bland character in existence, with his two defining traits being samurai and Leo's boyfriend. They even do this to Bayverse!! Or bizarre crossover ships that start taking over everything (Why is Mikey being shipped with pretty much all of the spiderman iterations now??(

No. 7 Any fic that has all of the Donnies despise each other. I don't know if this is bias, but I feel like most of the Donnies would enjoy having people on their level to discussbthings with, people who would respect their boundaries and listen to each other's rants. And before anyone brings up their egos, most of the Donnies are shown to be able to and even enjoy working with others who are around their level (Aprils, Leatherhead in 03, Fugitoids etc). I actually think that, aside from the Mikeys, the Donnies would probably get on the best.

No. 8 One of my biggest pet peeves (that I have complained about before) is acting as if any version of the turtles is far superior to the others in terms of intelligence, fighting skills, etc. The Rise boys do not solo every verse. If they had had more training, then yeah, they would be probably some of the strongest characters. But they haven't had the training of the other verses, and mystic powers cannot compensate for everything (considering the fact that they got absolutely bodied by their Krang, you think more people would realise this). The other iterations pretty much all have more formal training, more experience fighting a variety of opponents (Bayverse and the 90s are perhaps an exception to the greater variety of opponents here, but as Bayverse Raph alone can yeet a shipping container singlehandedly with no powers, I think they're good). In no universe should the Rise boys be giving any of the other characters fighting tips.

I will probably write more of these at some point, this was pretty cathartic 😅 I also promise that I do not hate Rise, I just have more issues with the wider Rise fandom than most of the other shows.