#Into You Like a Train
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6:48 AM EDT April 6, 2024:
Psychedelic Furs - "Into You Like A Train" From the album Talk Talk Talk (June 6, 1981)
Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm
File under: Postpunk
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The Psychedelic Furs - Into You Like a Train (Audio)
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5 years ago, I was in Rehab.
10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.
But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.
One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.
Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.
For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.
But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.
Happy.
It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.
Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.
It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.
A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.
5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.
It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.
Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.
I’m a Rescue.
She gave me a Home.
And, so, I gave her a Family.
It seemed fair
This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.
don’t give up yet, ok?
It could get good, even.
#troglodyte thoughts#tales from Real Life#cw addiction#cw alcohol#sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train#run#fight#hide#SURVIVE#do not go into the light#there are unpet dogs#and unhugged children#and unseen sunsets#and maybe even love#even for a wretch like me#the best part of your life might be old age#you don’t know
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female protagonists will literally go through 30 life altering traumas at the age of 16 and you ppl still have the audacity to call them annoying bc they cry about it and act like teenage girls
#you will never catch me on the hate train for a girl like leave her ALONE.#alina starkov#clary fairchild#katniss everdeen#katara#piper mclean#annabeth chase#elena gilbert#alicent hightower#danaerys targaryen#sansa stark#lucy gray baird#ddlc#amy march#beverly marsh#buffy summers#claudia iwtv#pretty little liars#eah#ever after high#atla#hope mikaelson#blue sargent#there are so many more but u get it
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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✦ Freshly ordained ✦
#a packless dog will happily accept his collar or something like that#own art#own characters#CanisAlbus#art#artists on tumblr#Machete#anthro#sighthound#dogs#canine#animals#maybe you might benefit from a little bit of context in this case#Machete becomes a priest at around 20 or so#he has trained all his life for this goal#he has worked himself to the bone and sacrificed so much#because he believes it would make him respectable and worthy and give his life a purpose and meaning#he gets his very first cassock from the tailor's and it immediately fits like a second skin#for the first time ever he feels like something he wears actually makes him look kind of nice#the hard part is over it'll be smooth sailing from here on out#there's a period in Vasco's and Machete's lives where they were apart for almost a decad#they met in their late teens when they were both studying in the same university in Venice#became friends and then lovers#but had to separate when Machete graduated and Vasco dropped out#Machete was ordained as intended and Vasco followed his father into politics#they meet again unexpectedly in their early 30's thanks to their similar jobs#Machete had became a cardinal secretary of state and Vasco was a Florentine diplomat#this takes place shortly after he had lost contact with Vasco and before he reconnects with him again
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This is so awesome
#The article makes it kinda sound like it's just for his sons but he's been obsessed with trains forever himself#Like Phil we know it's for you#psa to anyone coming here now this has notes yes this is from an old article and I know this already#It's from 2008 he's not releasing anything anytime soon I know#tp
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i love the idea of crossovering Mob with different spirits ✨️
#please note that i took inspo from one art i had in my ref folder that is like months old but i dont have the credits of the artist??#helped me understand how trains can be drawn lmao#if you know who they are say itt#mob psycho fanart#mob psycho 100#reigen arataka#mp100 fanart#shigeo kageyama#myart#mp100#studio ghibli#no face
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there are two modes to simon. handsy and handsy.
handsy is the gentle hold he has on your wrist when you're watching a movie on the couch, his thumb brushing your knuckles, tracing ever bump and curve. it's a cozy arm thrown over your waist, weighty enough to leave your side sore after, with his leg slid between yours while he snores into your ear after a long day's work. the hand on your knee under the table while eating breakfast, lightly squeezing when you ask him if he wants more.
and then there's handsy. his grip tight around the soft of your waist, fingers creating little divots into your flesh as he tries to slow the pace you've set, feeling his climax too close too soon. it's how he fists your hair and maneuvers your head to the side without much effort while you're on your stomach, the light prick on your scalp only adding to the pleasure, as he mutters into your ear if you can give him another one. (guess you'll die, then.)
how he paws at your arse when he's got you on your knees with your face dug into a pillow as he pistons his hips, the occasional slap of his balls onto your clit making your ears ring and calves tense almost painfully, until he pulls you up, his chest and your back slick with sweat and you come with his one hand around your throat and the other jerking little circles on your stiffened pearl.
the two touches are so different from each other, one a tender thing as if he's afraid to hurt you and the other wanting to hurt, but a different kind of ache, the one he will always soothe with his fingers, mouth and cock.
(call him a triple threat.)
whether you like it or not, you've been conditioned. soft and gentle means affection and care, similar to him bussing the side of your head every morning before work while rough and firm means you're about to be ploughed until you're left to soak in a bath to recover from the onslaught.
and you'd been prepared to take this secret to the grave, to not tell a soul how he'd pulled you out of a pool with enough strength to feel your rear shoulder sting and you'd just about moaned in broad daylight. or how he'd moved you out of soap's trajectory during the first meet by the wrist and if you hadn't been wearing a jumper, your peaked nipples would've been visible to anyone.
but naturally, things never go your way. he'd found out in no time and now he uses that knowledge to his advantage. a quick sneaky fuck in price's bathroom during a barbecue starts with a vicious tug of your arm. getting ate out in the back alley of a pub: giving your thigh a squeeze so tight it could bruise while you sip on the swill you call beer.
and every single time he's pulling your pants down or flipping your skirt up, you're already dripping with want.
now to get him to stop manhandling you like that when the 141 are around.
(soap's left like a deer in headlights after he forcibly sat your tipsy arse down next to him because "LT said to keep 'n eye on ye," and a moan had slipped past your lips unbidden and now the girls boys are fighting someone help)
#soap who likes to play the pretty dumb himbo knows what's happening in an instant#and will apologize later#then risk a black eye seeing just how far this goes with you#also where's that one post of the clicker training but with the click of an empty gun#yeah that#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley smut#cod smut#simon ghost riley#call of duty
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#columbo#season 4#exercise in fatality#i like to think this isn't a bit and this is columbo actually just about to ramble fully unfiltered about his gorgeous voluptuous wife#let him finish. please lieutenant go on about how you lose your train of thought looking at hilda the pinup girl
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crossing my fingers and wishing upon every star that chapter 10 finally brings us the tweel cards 🤞🤞
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#just because of the context and what i'm about to wildly go on about#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#god i wish this turns out to be a spoiler#anyway#i think it's safe to assume at this point that the next story card will be one (or both??? 👀) of the twins#do i DARE hope#i mean chances are just as good it's gonna be jade wearing a big mushroom costume or something#but you know what i'll take that too#and as long as i'm sitting here at the corkboard for crack theories#i have noticed that vil and jamil's dreams both got their use out of their travel event backgrounds#like tapis rouge HAD to have been specifically timed to come out before vil's chapter so we would have some context for that#and look. we know who's coming up next.#so...is it possible that maybe...coral sea event is finally coming?!#are there fishboys on the horizon?!#i don't want to get my hopes up. but also i very much do#august schedule is gonna come out with two training camps and a master chef rerun and i'm gonna dissolve on the spot
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1:21 PM EDT May 16, 2024:
Psychedelic Furs - "Into you like a train" From the album Talk Talk Talk (June 6, 1981)
Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm
File under: Postpunk
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Imagine you were roommates with someone who didn’t speak your language. And like. You guys are best friends, you love your roommate so much. You hang out all the time and it’s great.
But sometimes when you go to scratch an itch they suddenly get so upset. Like they’ll yell or clap or make weird sounds. You have no idea why because you’re itchy. You gotta scratch the itch! But it makes them so upset that you only scratch itches when they aren’t around.
Otherwise stuff is fine, they feed you and you’re happy living with them. You play games and stuff and even though you don’t speak the same language you both have a lot of fun. It’s just that sometimes they’ll burst out for no reason and you just get to deal with it.
That’s basically what it’s like for our pets, I think.
#ramblies#just saw a video of cats getting ‘caught’ being naughty#and they freeze and I’m like yeah you trained them that you’d have an outburst they don’t enjoy from the behavior#but they obviously still do it when you aren’t watching#cats#animal behavior
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if anyone needs help identifying things that can become moral scrupulosity OCD obsessions/compulsions, heres a list of some i've experienced:
rereading your posts/texts over and over
checking your notes and/or followers list frequently to "make sure" bad actors aren't interacting with you
checking OP's blog before interacting with posts
compulsively opening a social media tab to look at your notifs and then closing it, over and over
fearing ways that things you say/do (or don't do) could be taken in bad faith. being anxious that your words/actions will be misconstrued as morally wrong, bigoted, rude, or aggressive
feeling guilty or obsessing over whether you should or shouldn't have reblogged a post
feeling like you aren't "allowed" to disengage from online discourse or unfollow people who post it
fearing you're being stalked, talked about, or called out behind your back. fearing you'll never be forgiven and that people might even celebrate your disappearance or death, even though you havent done anything wrong
searching your own name/username to see if anyone is actually talking about you
imagining defenses you would make against nonexistent heinous accusations or arguments against you, to prove that you didnt do it
feeling like you have to roll over and become a doormat when others are cruel to you, because it could cause strife if you do anything other than grovel or apologize
having trouble enforcing your own boundaries out of fear that they are somehow "wrong" or unethical
ending up surrounded by people who have all the "right opinions" but are super mean and unpleasant, and make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells
fearing that just HAVING moral ocd makes you a bad person somehow (for example, i often fear that having moral ocd is somehow pushing a 'stranger danger' or misanthropist agenda, even though i actually have a lot of faith in my fellow humans)
some of these bullet points are not inherently bad on their own, but if you find yourself having this kind of anxiety very often, that's not normal, and it's time to get offline or even seek professional help if it's impacting your life
this list is catered to how online culture influences moral scrupulosity, it is not indicative of how everybody's moral scrupulosity functions, and it is not exhaustive
#amygdalae#ocd#actually ocd#moral ocd#moral scrupulosity#ive had OCD since as far back as i can remember but it used to be religious and contamination related#i actually started to grow out of my OCD symptoms until i started using social media as a teenager. i had trouble making friends IRL#i ended up in some very emotionally abusive online friend groups that basically trained these behaviors into me like a dog#its not entirely their fault. its something im just biologically predisposed to. and it can latch onto anything!#the wild part about OCD is that it grows and changes with you. for better or for worse
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btw if you borrow dvds or cds from library you can rip them onto your own blanks or onto your hard drive or whatever. librarians don’t care and they won’t know if you do it or not
#not pjo#chitter chatter#library tag#when I was training as a page one librarian was showing us the music section#and was like people come in and take out a bunch of cds and rip them onto their phones and return them the next day#it’s materials moving in and out baby that’s all that matters#get yourself a library card#(not all libraries have a music and dvd/bluray section but it’s worth checking!)#(and get a library card even if you don’t use it)#(but check out your local library to see what they do offer bc there’s lots of programs and other things too)#(not every public library is perfect but you can help influence it to make it the space you want)#100#1000
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#choso kamo#junpei yoshino#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this idea started as a 2 part series . then my braincells decided to spark and supplied 7 PAGES#'did you sleep hina' no#ws looking up mentally stable things like 'who has died in jjk' smh i love my hyperfixation media im sooooo glad so many ppl r DEAD#i *could* have included more ppl but i think this is a good crew. this is a yuuji emotional support crew#also Was gna include his grandpa final panel but i Did Not Want To#he is implied through th dialogue#side note i donot like how i cn see this scenario playing out . ..yuuji this isnt ur stop u r monopoly voice Just Visiting ok >:(#anyway I broke my own heart with this and ik i hyped it up a lot but i hope that its not just me...#hope i did not hype it up fr nothing and no one else finds it devastating :((((( that would b humbling in the worst way#pls ...join the happy party train.......i hate it here i suffered pls :<<<<#also !!!! colours in this !! i cooked i fear . adding th first bit of warm hitting yuuji's face after th first 2 panels....#ive never had that kind of experience while drawing before it was wild . painful ! but wild.#the whole transition from p 2->3 might b the most emotionally moving piece ive ever made to me#not 2 sing my own praises tho i will shut up ! i wil. nap
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