rottingwiththebugs

[rottingwiththebugs]

are you okay, caiti?

fuckfuckfuckfuck not again this can't be happening not again

[rottingwiththebugs]

i’m Tobi! nice to meet you!!! i’ve scrolled thru ur blog and you seem nice. :-)

don’t uhm.. don’t mind the bugs I keep. i really hope you’re not allergic to cats, either!!! ^_^’

though I have allergy medicine if you are.

Friend kicked me out so now I'm living at this shitty air bnb.

[rottingwiththebugs]

do you need a place to stay? i can give ya a place to stay . i have a spare room in my apartment. i know you don’t know me - but.. but I want you to be okay!! I’m worried about you!!! jigsaw survivors stick together, right?

Friend kicked me out so now I'm living at this shitty air bnb.

[rottingwiththebugs]

dude- he’s kissing your hand and dancing with you! I think your chances are pretty good, caiti! i know i wouldn’t dance with somebody I didn’t fancy, let alone kiss them anywhere.

i think- I think you’ve found your home, caiti!!! and im happy. im so, so happy for you. because you deserve it!! to be happy!

hi tobi:). i think i finally found that "home person" i've been searching for. thought i'd tell you!

-@waitforcaiti

oh!!! tell me everything , oh my goodness!!! I wanna know what’s happening!!!! who!!! who who who!!!

[rottingwiththebugs]

hi tobi:). i think i finally found that "home person" i've been searching for. thought i'd tell you!

-@waitforcaiti

oh!!! tell me everything , oh my goodness!!! I wanna know what’s happening!!!! who!!! who who who!!!

[rottingwiththebugs]

woah, woah, what? I know we’ve never talked. im overstepping. i’m sorry. but i worry. even if i dont know you that well!!! because- because jigsaw survivors gotta stick together!

Friend kicked me out so now I'm living at this shitty air bnb.

[rottingwiththebugs]

hey tobs. it's been a few days, thought someone outta check in on you:)

-@waitforcaiti

HI! ’ve been okay, just BUSY!!.!.!!. works been a bitch.@_@

but I’m okay!! thank you for checking on me caiti . you’re so nice to me. :-)

[rottingwiththebugs]

well, well um.. you can push me away all you want Ali, but I won’t believe ya until i learn about you for myself! i don’t just believe everything i hear, silly. gotta do my own research, hah- ya know? and hey, even if you do humor me out of sheer boredom, at least I’m entertaining! like your own personal jester in your asks. x-D

terrifier just seems dumb.. though, i guess a lotta horror seems that way to me!! it makes sense that ya like it, though. ack— in a good way, ‘f course!! it’s over the top and unrealistic. a good way to face your fears in a controlled environment, yah know?

and I’m sorry that you don’t have money to buy silly things! but- but friends buy each other stuff- so maybe uh, maybe we could go shopping one of these days!! and I could buy ya stuff. and we could hang out. if you want to be friends, that is!! hah, unless that’s stupid. sorry-

oh! oh yeah!! strong flavors tend to keep me grounded which is why I offered that. spearmint is STRONGG, keeps my brain occupied. though I tend to forget I’m chewing gum, so I end up chewing a piece of rubber for hours at times!! pain uh- I think pain would bring anybody outta their head. im hoping you don’t hurt yourself too, too bad. have you tried that uh! that thing where you flick your wrist with a rubber band! or does that not help?

and - and thank you! I try. to stay empathetic, I mean. I don’t wanna loose myself ‘cuz of what I’ve gone through. I think I’m empathetic, i feel other peoples feelings so strongly, and hell- I feel for inanimate objects. i know they’re not actually going to get upset if i leave them, but I still feel guilty!

hawkmoths are some of the interesting moths, and you’re one of the most interesting people I’ve had the pleasure of speaking with! they also match your whole aesthetic , with the skull on its neck n’ all!

HAH! i meeaaan, maybe, if i know you’re not gonna spend it on dumb shit! gotta make sure I’m making a good investment, ya know? still, I’m not as cool as you! 🐜

but- I don’t understand. I don’t follow. it doesn’t compute— you are a good person!!!!! you listen to me talk when nobody has for fucking years! you answer every question, you actually like me, and make me feel like my words are worth something, and I feel like that in itself makes you worthy of kindness and care.. for dealing with me. loneliness is scary, and it makes ya think ya dont deserve connection—, but let yourself have this without thinkin’ there’s ulterior motives!! if I didn’t wanna talk to to ya, I wouldn’t!

too sappy, antsy! roll it back, reverse—

the terrifier films are a bit boring to me if I’m being honest,, I watched the first 20 minutes of the first terrifier and turned it off because I felt like the real horror was the braincells I was loosing!! @_@

ahh, but I’m not gonna yuck your yum!! you’re havin’ fun with them and that’s good! that’s okay!! do you own any merch from that franchise?

OOH !! what was your favorite movie as a kid? do you still like it now? i dont think i can ever stop liking something once I start, i still love the The Nightmare Before Christmas as much as I did the first time I watched it as a lil’ kiddo!!

and- and I think gum counts as candy, actually!!! my favorite gum flavor is strawberry. funny how it’s a opposite to yours, huh? oh , ya- I like spearmint gum whenever I need to feel grounded. its such a strong flavor, it pulls me outta any itchy scratchy yucky thoughts and makes me feel more in-tune with my surroundings!! maybe you should try that. ^_^

I have a stupid amount of stuffed animals, all thrifted!!! i buy all my clothes from the thrift, so sometimes i’ll see a cute little stuffed animal peeking out from the toy area , and then i feel bad leaving them behind! like, im not a monster!! somebody left them behind and i’ll take em home!! i have too , too many. my bed’s completely overtaken by them!!

my favorite stuffed animal I’ve got’s of a death-head hawkmoth. i think that you’d like them, they give off a similar vibe to you!!! the moth, not the stuffed animal. they’ve got a skull on their backs and they’re black-brown n’ yellow!!! you’d think they’re rad. they remind me of you.

and, woah— right on the money ,, I didn’t know I was that obvious! I didn’t mean to spam-like your stuff. you just.. you’re cool and I got overexcited about learning things about you.

- guess anonymity is over,, @rottingwiththebugs 🐜🐜

nah, i'm not a good person. if you actually knew me, you'd know i'm the vilest piece of shit disguised. just because i let you talk and i answer your questions doesn't mean i'm a good person. it means i'm...lonely. bored.

yeah, the terrifier films aren't to everyone's taste. they're actually stupid as fuck. but the gore keeps me from disassociating, so i like it. i don't own any merch, i'm too broke for that. i'd love to, like, dress up as art the clown one day. that'd be funny. and i'd actually feel okay going outside for once. people would be scared of me instead of the other way around.

sure, i'll try the spearmint gum thing. i don't know if it'd help, though. pain is one of the things that keeps me the most grounded. kind of ironic. since pain is the whole reason i have this fucked up brain in the first place.

it's cute you have so many stuffed animals. you're hella empathetic, you know? i mean—i think you are. don't know if you'd agree. if i'm making it up or something. we're talking through a fucking screen. but, yeah, the hawkmoth thing is sweet. i don't know how i remind you of them—again, the fucking screen thing—but it's nice to actually be thought of.

right on the money, huh? does that mean i win some? only half joking. but i've looked at your blog and your pretty cool, too. i mean, you're talking to me so you must be awesome. joking.

[rottingwiththebugs]

i’d.. I’d like that, a lot actually. would you want to, caiti? i’ve got my camping van , I’d be able to get us everything we need!! I- I think it’d - it’d be fun! :-D

i fucking hate jersey

[rottingwiththebugs]

mhm,, the woods are my home. if i had it my way, id live there for the rest of my life. I feel so out of place in Jersey.

i wish.. i had a person to call home. maybe then I wouldn’t wanna run so bad.. :-(

i fucking hate jersey

[rottingwiththebugs]

i don’t think anybody likes it here. do you ever…

do you ever yearn.. for a home you’ve never had?

i fucking hate jersey

[rottingwiththebugs]

no! nonono!! talking is good! rambling is good! showing emotions is good!!! all these things are good , caiti! that, i think i can promise!!

what happened? to make you feel like talking is a bad thing??

i'm so fucking desperate, can i shut the fuck up for once? what is wrong with me???

[rottingwiththebugs]

do we never escape the drop-kickable puppet?

well uh.. I sure did get a new car!! was scrollin’ through facebook marketplace and somebody was sellin’ a camper van for 8000$. i sold my rustbucket car and scooped that thing UP!

i think it’s a lindy camper? that’s what the guy told me. i called off of work tomorrow so i can decorate the interior and make it mine!! ive been collecting fun bumper stickers and little car decorations for whenever i got a better car.

with this van.. I could actually travel the world and do somethin’ with my life.. hm.. or maybe i’ll just make it live-inable .. maybe somebody’ll need that comfort one day!!!

I’ve got silly ghostbusters bumper stickers, and bug bumper stickers, and those “honk if you ___!” stickers. i had no idea you weren’t supposed to honk !! :-((

I hope people honk when they see mine. that’s a more fun reason that those bumper stickers exist!!!

[rottingwiththebugs]

well uh.. I sure did get a new car!! was scrollin’ through facebook marketplace and somebody was sellin’ a camper van for 8000$. i sold my rustbucket car and scooped that thing UP!

i think it’s a lindy camper? that’s what the guy told me. i called off of work tomorrow so i can decorate the interior and make it mine!! ive been collecting fun bumper stickers and little car decorations for whenever i got a better car.

with this van.. I could actually travel the world and do somethin’ with my life.. hm.. or maybe i’ll just make it live-inable .. maybe somebody’ll need that comfort one day!!!

I’ve got silly ghostbusters bumper stickers, and bug bumper stickers, and those “honk if you ___!” stickers. i had no idea you weren’t supposed to honk !! :-((

I hope people honk when they see mine. that’s a more fun reason that those bumper stickers exist!!!

[rottingwiththebugs]

i think- i think nobody’s pure, but- but we can be!!! to somebody we’re pure, to somebody we’re worth adorin’!!

beauty is what’s closest to the earth, I think. each body part, every insecurity, looks just a little bit like a bit of nature! the rivers- the rivers run down the silent earth like stretch-marks run down stomachs and thighs, the deer have freckles , the trees are tall and the rabbits are short.

anger is held by the ferocious lion and sensitivity is held by the softest fawn. everything anybody could hate about themselves is connected to Mother Nature herself. after all, how is beauty that is living anything but true? physical or personality wise, every possible thing somebody could hate about themselves is something found in the beauty of the woods!!

ain’t that what beauty is? something we can find in everything ? :-D

hi tobi. i like your name. maybe i'm a bit biased with names ending in 'i' though, huh?

-( @waitforcaiti)

hie!!! thank you thank you!!! if i were as cool as you id be biased to names like my own , too!

i like your name as well… do you know if it means anything? do you think that names have to have meaning to be pretty? what’s your idea of beauty?

because- because beauty is subjective. and i want to know what’s beautiful to you!! humans are funny like that. all these words have meaning and all these meanings are so irrelevant as well because meaning is subjective too!!

funny how things work, right?

im sorry for rambling.

[rottingwiththebugs]

hi tobi. i like your name. maybe i'm a bit biased with names ending in 'i' though, huh?

-( @waitforcaiti)

hie!!! thank you thank you!!! if i were as cool as you id be biased to names like my own , too!

i like your name as well… do you know if it means anything? do you think that names have to have meaning to be pretty? what’s your idea of beauty?

because- because beauty is subjective. and i want to know what’s beautiful to you!! humans are funny like that. all these words have meaning and all these meanings are so irrelevant as well because meaning is subjective too!!

funny how things work, right?

im sorry for rambling.

[rottingwiththebugs]

Do you like oatmeal cinnamon cookies?

i like oatmeal in general! so, ya!!! ohh those sound good. i could go for those about now..