#Incorrect mcu

[marvel-lous-guy]

Steve: alright, that concludes todays mission brief.

Peter: Now lets see if you were paying attention.

*kahoot music starts playing*

[incorrectpeterparker]

Peter: I accidentally ate MJ’s sandwich… How long do you think I have to live?

Ned: Ten

Peter: Ten what?

Ned: Nine

[hurtspideyparker]

Steve: From now on we'll be using code names. You can address me as Eagle 1

Steve: Bucky, code name "been there done that"

Steve: Tony is "currently doing that"

Steve: Sam is "it happened once in a dream"

Steve: Natasha, code name "if I had to pick a chick"

Steve: Clint is... Eagle 2

Clint: Oh thank God

[auroraromaximoff]

Nat: You know Archaic Latin ?

Y/n: I got bored with classical Latin.

Wanda: You know normal Latin?

Y/n: Yeah, someone from my sewing class taught me.

Nat/Wanda: YOU TEACH A SEWING CLASS?!

Y/n: You two don’t know everything about me

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Logan: I suffer from a disorder called Sleep Fighting. Wade: Wow, must be terrible. Logan: Only when I'm losing.

Wade: I suffer from a disorder called Sleep Fuck —

[floilee]

Anywhere enduring the jet lag to talk to your favorite person

[gay-jewish-bucky]

Bucky, drunk and sobbing on the table: And I keep trying to tell Steve I'm in love with him, but he's so damn dense and he never notices when I flirt with him!

Steve, Oblivious and Dumb: ...When did you meet someone else named Steve?

[underoooos]

The Avengers: What's the definition of "innocent"?

Tony, pointing at Peter and using Peter's hand to wave at them: Right here!

Peter: *grimaces as the Avengers awkwardly wave back*

[peter-parkers-left-pinky]

Natasha: I just heard Y/N call the dog a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.

[fics-and-quotes-andthelike]

Yelena Bolova: (walking in with a knife) Is stabbing someone immoral?

Bucky Barnes: (not looking up) Not if they consent to it.

Loki Laufeyson: (thrilled to have found his people) Depends on who you're stabbing.

Steve Rogers: (visibly concerned) YES??!!?

[incorrectmarvels]

Loki: I can explain.

Thor: Can you?

Loki: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

[marvel-lous-guy]

Peter: Hey Mr Barnes! I got this knife for you

Bucky: Oh, thanks, kid

Peter: it's a real nice one- extra fresh!

Bucky: ...How can a knife be fresh?

Peter: I just pulled it out my leg about a half hour ago

Bucky: *drops knife*

[dontsh0vethesun]

(Tony has booked a dance instructor before his wedding)

Tony: Oh, is she not here yet?

Natasha: No, she just waltzed out of here. Get it?

Tony:

Natasha: I’m kidding, she died.

Tony:

Natasha:

Natasha: I’m gonna teach you.

[incorrectmculines]

Peter: Can we get McDonald's for dinner?

Tony: Pepper said no. She's cooking tonight

Peter: But she's not the boss of you right?

Tony: *thinking* This is a trap. This is a trap. Anthony Edward Stark THIS IS A TRAP

[auroraromaximoff]

Y/n: Where’s my chair?

Wanda: Nat broke it over Steve’s head when they were wrestling.

Steve: Correction, she was wrestling, I was eating soup.

Nat: You were pissing me off with all that slurping.

Tony: That’s what she said! 😂

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Wade, who has been arrested: Hey Wolvie, why don't you get me out of these handcuffs, so I can put you into these handcuffs ;)?

Logan: Yes, please officer, get him out of those cuffs. I want this to be a fair fight.