#Im so disappointed why cant people be normal

[50-huskies]

i just found out the author of enemy of my enemy is one of those unimaginably dense fans in the military who miss the entire point of the games. its weird that theyre like proudly admitting it too?? no ones impressed lol

i won't be supporting this author anymore

[schizowitchic]

also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Sometimes this fandom uses John's shitty treatment of Cyn as an excuse to dismiss her completely. Like "well, he treated her like garbage when they broke up, which could ONLY mean that she never mattered to him or the Beatles story as a whole!"

[orcelito]

So I found out upon checking my email this morning that the therapy appointment isn't in the health building like I thought, but rather in the basement of a boy's only dorm further north

Which brings up two problems: that's even further away than I'd accounted for, and I find it SUPREMELY uncomfortable to go to a boy's only dorm for therapy, even if the office is in one of the general areas.

I'd already been conceding on the matter of agreeing to talk to a man, since I'm generally uncomfortable with talking to men I don't know, but it was the soonest appointment I could get... so I agreed to it, but finding out it's in the boy's only dorm is just Too Much. Not only would it make it even harder to get there, but my skin just kinda crawls thinking about baring my fuckin heart in a place so thoroughly meant for guys. Like it's a place I don't belong, which REALLY does not help give the comfort kinda required of such an appointment.

I called the office asking if the appointment could be set up on zoom (bc it mentioned it in the email), but the therapist was staunch on it being in-person, so I rescheduled with a different person for the 13th. Bc if this dude isn't gonna be understanding with my discomfort with the location, like fuckin hell I'm gonna let myself be emotionally vulnerable with him. Bet he was thinking I was being too picky like "Oh it's a stupid Girl who can't handle being around Men" like sorry I have a healthy fear of guys I don't know 😋😋😋😋😋 if U have a problem with it then change society so talking to unknown men doesn't feel like walking in a minefield. Thanks.

[homo-house]

i am losing. It

[original-punks]

why must some people insist on talking to me verbally like ????? my brain needs to see n read or else I get overwhelmed???

[burger-louise]

.

[sh1-n0bu]

yknow what, im gonna say it

despite what most people/players say, genshins story and world building sucks ASS. the seven main nations are there yes and they all represent one thing or mainly representing one thing but isnt it weird how mondstadt, liyue and inazuma are very traditional fantasy themed with the whole super specific technology only the fantasy world has, the usual fantasy weapons, powers etc but then sumeru and natlan and BOOM! internet, dj, clubbing and all those advanced things are shown? isnt fontaine supposed to be the only technologically advanced nation out of the seven? dont even get me started on the whitewashing of sumeru and natlan characters/cast and the extremely racist undertones of the origin of hilichurls

edit: i was too angry when typing the first part that i forgot the main reason i wanted to ramble-

2) the traveler.

in the game/story/characters’ voicelines, the traveler is constantly alluded to be a witness to the change/shift of teyvat and its rebellion against the heavenly orders/celestia. even zhongli said it during his companion quest (i believe). okay cool, got it, the traveler is a witness— ay ay ay, why is there a backstory thing going on? wdym the traveler is meant to be a self-insert type of mc? you cant make a character a self-insert with a lore/backstory thing going on. you cant make a character a self-insert if they have a rich lore going on. make it clear already, is the traveler a self-insert AKA. stand in for us, the player? or are they meant to be their own character with story instead?

3) immortality/mortality

i dont know what it says on the chinese language dictionary but im pretty sure 500 year old survivor of kheanri’ah doesnt exactly translate to mortal, human, or hell, normal. idk man, i suck at math, but i think being cursed with immortality and living until ur 500 or smt years old makes you an immortal/inhuman

4) fatui harbingers

the MAIN reason i wanted to ramble in anger. from their very first introduction with la signora in mondstadt, you can already just feel that the fatui are a force that is feared all across the seven nations as both a diplomatic and military force. theyre elusive, sneaky, will not hesitate to get their hands dirty and their so called ‘diplomats’ (the harbingers) can and will step over the diplomatic boundaries to not only insult, but assault the archon of mondstadt. theyre a threat threat but now theyre just another laughing stock. if anything, they feel like a fucking circus.

at the introduction video of all the harbingers and the last act of sumeru archon quest, we are given the lore bomb that the first three fatui harbingers have a power to rival the GODS and had been quietly eluded that capitano had even defeated a god or two despite being a mere mortal. and that is terrifying, that is fear inducing. just the thought of a mere mortal like ourselves going tow to toe against gods is a terrifying thought itself and arlecchino has proven herself and set the bar even higher when she made an absolute fool out of the traveler during the fontaine archon quest. the next nation will have capitano, the strongest mortal, the first fatui harbinger, the man that could rival the gods and now ur telling us that he is not in fact a mortal man but yet another 500 year old khaenri’ah survivor? we get it hoyo, u love the number 500, but that makes him NOT a mere mortal doesnt it? and he basically got his ass handed to himself too. i am immensely disappointed

[themoonwithagun]

The five stages of grief as an artist:

Number one:Denial

“This is so good!! I’m not gonna randomly crash out while drawing this!!”

Number two:Anger

“THIS IS SHIT!! IM SHIT!!! EWW HATE THIS WHY CANT I DRAW LIKE OTHER PEOPLE?!?!”

Number tree:Barganing

“Maybe I’ll just.. ask someone else to finish this.. I can’t go on.. I’ll just be normal!! Hah….”

Number four:Depression

“IM NEVER GONNA BE GOOD ENOUGH!!! IM A DISAPPOINTMENT…. I’m never gonna be good for anyone.. I’ll just be the laughing stock.. everyone else is so much better than me….”

Number five:Acceptance

“It’s okay if I can’t draw that good yet.. I still have a lot of time.. I’ll put this down and start again later once I’m calm”

Then the cycle begins again, exactly how I felt while drawing this😔

(Drawing is Soul from my AU “Chonnys Chaos Hungry Soul”)

[daisybell17]

New Years with Loki hc’s:

He would be so confused on why this was such a big deal to many midgardians…its a new year…so what?

Besides his confusion, he loved new years eve parties, and with you it just makes it 100x better

His first new years eve party was hosted by Tony Stark so of course it did not disappoint

He wore a nice black suit with hints of green silks inside his coat jacket. You on the other hand wore a tight fitting dress, also having hints of green through glitter spread around the dress

Loki could not keep his eye off you

The night was filled with great conversation, food, drinks and celebration of the year that passed by and the year to come

Loki kept hearing about “resolutions” and of course when it came to Midgardian things he did not understand, he would ask you

“Why is everyone asking me my “resolutions”? From Stark to the spider boy to even the arrow guy…what is a resolution darling?”

“Well a new years resolution is something people make as a sort of change in their life, sometimes they’re big, sometimes small. It’s just something people make as the new year comes, since its like a restart of everything”

“That sounds…odd, why do people wait till new years to make a change, just do it now”

“I cant really answer that honey, everyone is different, plus I have my own resolution”

His eyebrows raised at your response “You do? Enlighten me my dear”

“Yea one of my new years resolution is to spend more time reading, hopefully finishing books i have been putting of. I guess mine is small but it is some improvement…you should make something!” You encouraged him as to bring in the new years spirit

“Me? Improvement? Make a resolution? Darling I don’t need one. I’m perfect. duh” He snickered

You laughed at his response “You know there isn’t such thing as perfection, thats what makes life beautiful, its always changing and you find the beauty in it…plus, even perfection such as yourself can always self improve somewhere”

“That defeat the whole purpose of perfect, I don’t need some resolution…i am PERFECT darling!” He kisses your cheek as he finished his stance

“Okay! Whatever you say honey”

The night goes on as normal but of course your words linger Loki’s mind…and he took a minute to do some reflection…i mean he knew he was perfect, but even perfection has room for self-improvement…hmmm..

As the final 10 minutes of the year approached, your tipsy self found Loki and fell onto him

“Woah! Darling you ok?” He says as he holds you up

“YUP JUST TIPSY! …its a-almost n-new years…i need to be sober for our kisssssss”

“Kiss? I can kiss you right now you know”

“nOOOO new years eve kiss! I need water…NOW”

Loki rushes to get you water to get you back to being sober and by the time you gathered yourself and your thoughts, there was about 3 minutes to go

“OKAY IM GOOD! so basically a new years kiss is when we kiss once the clock hits 0! so basically…an i love you kiss, happy new year! Ya get it?”

Loki nods…he would kiss you any day at any time but he knew to wait, this was special to you as he could tell

As everyone gathered and the clock counted down, you and Loki stood together side by side

“10….9…8…7!”

Loki watches as everyone was here, celebrating the past and the future, all in the present moment…

“6…5…4...3!”

As the last 3 seconds ticked by, he took one good look at you. He knew how the past year had been for you…filled with so much good, too much bad in his opinion but amazing moment you both shared…and he couldn’t wait to see what the future brought for you in your own right, but for where you both will be and the memories to be created…he couldn’t wait

“2…1! Happy New Year!” Everyone cheered, screams of happiness filled the room and hugs and love was spread all around

You looked up at Loki and awaited for him to kiss you, which he did once you gave that glance that drove him insane

As the kiss went on, Loki felt nothing but happiness…how lucky is he to be with someone like you? What a lucky god he is….

Pulling away, you hugged Loki and watched as the fireworks went of and your friends greeting one another, you and Loki also greeting back

The excitement slowly died down and many went back to partying and drinking…Loki looked at you “Darling…I have a resolution”

You looked at him happily “You do?! You wanna share or keep it to yourself?”

“No no…you should know…My new years resolution is to make us happier…build us closer to our future…and of course…love you more and more each day…”

Looking at Loki, your eyes welled up in happy tears and you kissed him once more “Oh i’m so lucky to be with you…my love, I love you so much”

“I am just as lucky as you…I love you too…happy new year” He says with a smile as he held you close

[bonefall]

I’m not sure if you talked about it, but what do you think about A Thief in Thunderclan? I actually liked it, though it definitely had a few ehhh moments

Eh, honestly? Im kinda disappointed that James Barry had to go out on such a low note. I did not like it, it felt like a waste of time.

It wasn't like... offensively bad but I have very little good to say about it. It was fine. If you want to see more ThunderClan you can check it out?

(A lot of Thief in ThunderClan critique below the cut, I didn't like it much)

First of all, the mystery was just bad. I'm sorry. An owl? Swooping in at night for dead animals and leaving perfect scores in the dirt? It felt like a real "running out of ideas" type plot.

Brightheart was NOT fun to follow. She was uncomfortable for most of the story and secondhand embarassment is an emotion I really don't enjoy. Even moments that were supposed to be thought-provoking (like the Brambleclaw name confrontation) just felt like cringe because they were written so poorly.

Like, seriously? "Firestar why did you name Bramble after his father who disfigured me?" "Oh its because i uhhhh wanted to remind ppl of it so they would stop being reminded of it eventually" WHAT? That was a brainless enough choice when it was FIRST made, you can't fucking tell me any cat with a brain cell would go "wao... really makes you think... hngsociety"

I disliked the fact they decided to give Brightheart serious suspicion towards people like Longtail and Brambleclaw, I strongly disagree she would be like that. She feels so much to me like someone who would feel awful for doubting people she logically knows are innocent, and express to Cloudtail that it makes her feel like a bad person, but she CANT help it. She is such a kind, loving, and self doubting sort of cat... or, was, I guess? Or maybe it was never there at all and I'm the fool.

On that note? Her character arc was a mess. As much as I hate Shadow in RiverClan, I can say that Feathertail's arc was a competent *story*. Brightheart is having nightmares, suspects Bramble and Long of treason, is trying to figure out this mystery, trying to help train Rainpaw, the fact she resents not being his mentor is mentioned and dropped, she is pregnant... so much shit is going on and it feels absolutely unfocused.

And even worse, because it's overlapping with the beginning of Firestar's Quest, we end up having to Show Off The Continuity instead of telling a cohesive story. Oop Willowpelt died and Rainpaw is kind of sad about it! But wait we have to say bye to Firestar, make sure to squeeze in the Brambleclaw name confrontation before he goes! GO BACK Longtail has been blinded!! ALSO THE OWL! HERES WHY THE OWL WASNT MENTIONED IN FQ!!

And DUDE if there's anything that's a SERIOUS problem, it's Brightheart's stupid ass cutesy "look who's being USEFUL in here!" When blinded Longtail is helping out in the medcat den

First of all fuck you for the wording of that line! Second of all, GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD that disabled people shouldn't have to find a way to be "useful" to belong to their society.

The fact we're getting a book from Bright's perspective as a disabled person and the whole thing is chock full of "useful" language as she struggles with PTSD makes the fact this is COMMON in WC sting so much more.

Anyway back to just, normal critique and not frustration with ableism in wc.

I feel like they really wasted Brightheart's family. I enjoyed finally getting Cinder and Bright hanging out as sisters, but we got a MENTION of Frostfur, and barely anything with her brothers. It's already a mess so why not go the whole way?

Ashfur also has his post-TBC personality retcon which absolutely kills me. Why do we need this shitty "foreshadowing"? Why do we need him to have been so obviously controlling and argumentative? Why are these writers fucking allergic to having a villain that people thought was nice and normal once?

NITPICK: if i have to see another cat gently picked up by a large bird of prey without at LEAST getting a cracked rib I will shapeshift into 10,000 crows and fly away forever

I have some good feelings towards it though, and I have to be clear, this is actually Ambivalent Bones. I'm only mad at the "Usefulness" rhetoric, the rest is just my normal amount of whinging lmao.

I do really like Cinderpelt and Brightheart finally getting some interactions. It's long overdo lmao

I like Cloudtail and Brightheart as a ship so it's nice to see them hang out.

Uhhh this is a bit of a backhanded compliment but I liked how she was upset at not getting one of Whitestorm's children to mentor? I don't like how it bodes for the wider narrative though, because we know this ends in her getting shafted FOR YEARS and unable to get an apprentice. But I liked the plot setup of her having resentment for Cloudtail because of this. I thought that would make a really good plot point for putting a wedge between them to work through. Like, stop being cowards, LEAN INTO Firestar making some very serious, insulting, short-sighted mistakes, and it interfering with Brightheart's ability to heal. Kill your darling.

There were some nice lines. I do remember Ashfur's lame "greedyclaw" insult, which was funny.

I enjoyed the cute moments between the cats in ThunderClan. Ferncloud chasing after her kids, Brightheart convincing people to help her investigate, the Willowkin being upset about their mom. It's a mess but there's some nice stuff in that mess, y'know?

Overall, my memory hasn't been kind to it. I think I was giving it a 6/10 when I first saw it, but it's dropped down to a low 5/10. Not (very) offensive but too messy and pointless to revisit.

[kingwuko]

I'm rewatching rememberances & oh my GOD people cant tell me that the writers weren't writing wu with gay coding in mind 😭 I was at the part where Mako said "i had to realize who i was without a lady in my life" and Wu was like "i know what that's like" and then everyone silently looks at him for 2 seconds? and then he hesitates and is like "only because im absolutely swimming in dames they all love me 🤭". obviously the writers couldn't explicitly have their LGBT characters confirm their identities because of nickelodeon but its so blatant and extremely possible that wu is actually gay and hits on women and talks about them constantly (even though hes really weird about it) as a way to overcompensate. and when you think about it the character he has the closest relationship to is...Mako😭

I have SO MANY FEELINGS about remembrances. Normally 'flashback episodes' are kinda just filler, bottle episodes. But something about remembrances just HITS DIFFERENT.

Mako saying "I realized I had to figure out who I was without a lady in my life." will forever replay in my brain... Wu's response to it is so fucking funny I laugh every time. "I know what that's like." says the guy who has not been shown on screen to successfully interact with a woman besides grandma Yin. Sure buddy.

Also I will never get over the fact that Wu says the words "I was born that way" like WAAAAAT. You cannot tell me the writers, who were in the process of crafting a subtle sapphic story for endgame korrasami, wrote those words without knowing the implications. CMON.

And listen Mako's entire story is about his past relationships, like BARELY touching on the larger story. He just sat down for 10 minutes explaining to Wu that he's single and he and his exes are just friends. Why Mako. why. why did you need to explain that to WU.

And the fucking. homoerotic sparring of it all. @buckybarnesss always calls it 'the intricate rituals of male touching' lmaoooo. Every time Wu gets in Mako's face, clutching his arms, close enough to kiss... I'm just like. can I reach into the screen and nudge their faces together. Just a little nudge is all it would take. Look:

The writers and animators fucking KNEW what they doing. There's no way they didn't. its such a gay episode.

and lets not forget the sapphic side of things in that episode. Asami's like "I thought you might be cold so I brought you some hot tea." To KORRA. Korra, who grew up in the FRIDGID SOUTH POLE and is also a FIREBENDER who could warm herself up easy. Gurl.

and like. even outside the queer coding in this episode, it's just delightful. the fucking little chibi popups in his flashback. Yin implying that Bohai cheated on her in scenario as convoluted as Mako's love triangle. Tu dropping the most accurate and eloquent assessment of Mako's issues in a single sentence: "it seems like you're so afraid to disappoint anyone that you end up disappointing everyone." TU. WUT. WHEN DID TU GET WISE. Tu and Wu high fiving.

In conclusion. Remembrances is top tier Wuko content. It's way more than a flashback filler episode.

[vulture-jack]

been fishing around half my life to see if the amount of pain im in is normal and finally at 30 having a doctor be like "no, and im sending you to a specialist because you're young and thats abnormal" almost felt like I was getting something I didn't deserve

all i ever got from family members was "lol wait till your're older", "welcome to getting old", or at best "it runs in the family" without a word that i should maybe seek help instead of just gritting my teeth and bearing the agony i was in because THEY never did anything about it. nobody was curious? like god if a friend told me they were feeling what I'm feeling I'd tell them to bring it up to their dr at least. Why did it take me so long to think this was important? I felt like such a baby. Other people have it worse. Maybe everyone is in this much pain and can just. Handle it.

why didnt anyone see me wincing, limping, and looking for anywhere to sit down 3 or 4 hours into a day out at 14 years old and SAY SOMETHING other than "have you tried insoles" like YES. IVE TRIED INSOLES.

I will say in the last year I have had at least one or two family members be like "yeah it might be That and you should go" and that. Meant a lot. At the end of the day I had to learn that I'm an adult and I have to advocate for myself now, and I don't need permission from the people in my life to be in Enough Pain to ask for help. But like god if they took me seriously when I was a kid maybe I wouldn't have spent so much of my life in pain wondering whether or not I'm just a baby and everyone else is handling it better than me. Because thats how I was made to feel.

At a certain point I stopped telling people how much and how often it bothered me. It became a Me problem and something I had to put up with. If i didnt, I was disappointing people. I felt shame every time I tried to see if others my age shared my experience. Like I was revealing that I'm actually this weakling who cant handle Normal Pain.

But like tldr I guess if I could boil it down is, if a young person says theyre in a lot of pain, don't belittle it because of their youth, show concern BECAUSE of their youth. Don't laugh and tell them itll get worse. Don't dismiss them because they haven't "earned" YOUR aches and pains.

I don't know if the specialist I'm going to will be able to help me. I hope so. I hope its what I think it is. I know that its a good possibility that I won't get an answer. But man a doctor not needing any convincing, just listening to me and saying "Thats concerning for your age" and taking action to help me? Life changing on its own.

[dilxcc]

:: meeting you. diluc ragnvindr

contains. fem!reader, fluff and then angst, kinda slowburn, character death.

summary. meeting you had been the greatest gift the universe had given. but meeting you also had been his greatest misery. and as the saying goes, right person, wrong timing . . .

requested. none.

notes. i just had to write more angst to be honest. you cant stop me. im in my angst era 🤭 (this was actually supposed to be a break up fic but i hate hurting my fav characters)

it had to be a dream. all of this had to be a dream. it was too good to be real. how can someone, a human being, looks so angelic in his eyes?

how can you, a normal girl, lightened up his world in mere seconds. the darkness that veiled his every day routine slowly disperse when you walk into his life. you changed everything for him.

“master diluc,” you greeted him with a warm smile. something about it tugs at his heart strings. “yes?” he answered, voice coming out in a gentler tone than he ever had given to any other people. “is there anything that troubles you?” he asked again, his smile matching yours as second goes by.

you fidget on your feet nervously. “well, you see... i want to ask you out. today,” you said shyly, eyes not meeting him but looking at the suddenly intriguing patch of dirt that you’re standing on.

your straightforwardness stunned him. his eyes widened as his blood rushed to his face slowly but surely. “i see...”

his dry response made your heart dropped to the bottom pit of your stomach. “i-it’s fine if you-” before you could finish your sentence, his hand lays atop yours, stopping you mid sentence. “i would love to,” your eyes met his and you smiled so wide that your cheeks hurt.

.

“is miss y/n not home today?” diluc asked donna who happened to be your neighbor. “oh, master diluc!” she jumped lightly in surprise. “she looked unwell today. i figure that she went to the clinic,” donna said. the red-haired male slouched a little, feeling disappointed that he couldn’t see you and the fact that you weren’t feeling well.

“thank you for telling me,” he gave her a kind smile in return. donna sighed to herself. “poor miss y/n... she is always sick...” the girl muttered to herself. but it did not go unnoticed by diluc. the newly added information makes his heart to grow heavier.

perhaps he should pay you a visit the next day.

.

the next day, diluc find himself standing in front of your house at dawn. the sun has peeked little by little at the roof of every building.

his fist were wrapped in a ball, holding it up mere inches by your door and has yet to knock it. something was holding him back. but he wasn’t sure what it was.

before he could find the courage to knock at your door, the universe finally helped him by having you to open the door instead. “oh, master diluc,” you gasped lightly, a wobbly smile present on your face.

“miss y/n,”

he seems to be out of breath everytime he looks at you. it was as if your beauty had captured him for the first time again. “whatever business do you have with me this early in the morning?” you asked.

he offers a small smile. “i heard that you were unwell yesterday,” he started. your smile faltered. “ah... yes. that is true... i haven’t been feeling well lately. so i apologize that we haven’t been able to meet up for the past few days,”

diluc only shook his head. “no, that was not the reason why i’m here,” he pulled out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. “i wanted to give you these. maybe it would look good by your window for you stare whenever you’re in bed, resting,”

“oh, you shouldn’t have-”

“but i wanted to,” he smiled. he pushed the bouquet on your hands lightly and you took it. “i hope you feel better soon. i want to take you out again,”

your face flushed a little even though your heart gave you a sharp pained tug. how are you ever going to tell him about your sickness?

.

“master diluc!” you squealed and chuckled when he hugged you from behind. “and here i thought that we had went pass beyond that point,” he chuckled.

“it’s... a little bit foreign for me to do so,” you replied bashfully. “but y/n, my dear... you’ve convinced me to call you by your name. it is only fair you return me the favor,” diluc said, nuzzling into your neck. “we are lovers now. it would be more foreign for you to address to me as master in our relationship,” he chuckled.

“then maybe i should call you by something else,” you smiled, putting your hands on top of his that were wrapped snuggly around your waist. “what do you have in mind?” he asked, his chin now resting on your shoulder while he tilted his head ever so slightly to look at your face.

“how about... strawberry man?” you asked, trying to mantain your serious expression before bursting out laughing. his light chuckle tickled your ear before you looked at him straight in the eyes. “i was only jesting, my love,”

he smiled happily.

.

today had been an amazing day. the only depressing thing was is that you didn’t get to enjoy it. diluc had asked you to moved in with him just a couple months after you guys officially became a lover.

now, you are laying in his- no, your shared bed, feeling deeply weakened by your illness. you had heard from adelinde that she called diluc to come home as soon as he could as you suddenly fell sick.

a knock at the door grabbed your attention from all the swirling thoughts swimming inside your head. the door opened slightly, a certain red head peeked in. “my love?” he slowly made his way and sat by the bedside. he immediately held your hand in both of his. “are you feeling okay?” he asked, eyes full of concern.

“i am fine now that you are here,” you said softly, hand squeezing his. his brows knitted, clearly not believing a word you say. “but my dear, you have fallen sick frequently these days,” he insisted. “are you sure that you really won’t be needing a doctor?” he asked softly now.

to outsider, they may have seen their master diluc to be cold and aloof. but whenever it was just the two of you, his walls shattered and was placed by his overwhelmingly tenderness, care and love. maybe if anyone were to witness the current scene, they would have thought that diluc carries no weight in caring about you.

his expression, it carries great worry for you. “and i am telling you that i’m fine. i just get sick easily ever since i was an infant,” you chuckled. “you’ve never told me what kind of illness you have,” diluc suddenly said. “i am not a fool, my dear,”

“i never take you as a fool, my love,” you started to sit up. “what you have is definitely not fever. your body temperature has always been normal,” he continued. “and you’ve been getting thinner and weaker too...” his eyes met yours. you were taken aback by his glossy eyes that were now misty with tears. you used your free hand to caress his cheek, wiping away his unshed tears. “it is nothing... i assure you,”

it was not nothing. you don’t know how much longer you will be hanging by the thread of life. one thing you were sure of is that it won’t be too long.

whether it be days, weeks, months or years, you don’t know anymore. everything had been a blur to you these days. the life in you were slowly fading away in nothingness. and diluc, your lover had finally noticed. you wouldn’t want him to be dreading for the moment you would finally leave him.

you wouldn’t want to burden his heart with worry anymore. only you should carry this heavy burden of dreading the time you would be gone.

.

“why, master diluc, but you seem very happy today,” the cavalry captain asked, alcohol in hand. “that is none of your business,” diluc replied while wiping dry the glasses. “why, of course! he is going to propose to your future sister-in-law!” the bard suddenly stepped in, face already flushed red after his hundredth drink. “oh?” kaeya inquired in interest. diluc’s lack of response only confirmed his suspicion.

“so my dear brother is finally getting married,” kaeya sighed happily. “mind your own business, captain,” diluc said blankly, continuing to wipe the glasses.

his thoughts were quickly filled with multiple scenarios of what your reaction would be. would you be happy? surprise? or maybe sad? he doesn’t know. but everything just makes his nerves flaring to the top notch.

.

diluc walked back home in a hasty pace, his heart beating fast because of the excitement he would be sharing with you soon. perhaps, this wouls even make you feel a whole lot better. diluc chuckled to himself at the thought.

soon, his footsteps slowed down as the dawn winery came into view. he suddenly stopped walking, hesitating the idea of actually proposing to you. maybe this was a bad idea? maybe he shouldn’t make haste to marry you so fast. but the two of you have known each other for years. maybe it’s not too fast, after all?

“master diluc!” adelinde called out, running from towards diluc. her forehead were glistened in sweat. “adelinde, what is it that’s so important you must get me all this way out,” diluc asked, a horrible feeling settling in his stomach. “miss y/n...” she said, her voice trembling as to hold her tears in.

he quickly broke into a sprint, making his way through the winery and finally, your shared bedroom. his hand rest on the doorknob, not wanting to face the reality that he’s been ignoring. slowly, he twist it open, taking his footsteps hesitantly as he sees a doctor gathering his tools.

“master diluc...” he started, his eyes casting downward before he shook his head. diluc couldn’t believe what the doctor was implying. surely he was wrong. perhaps this was a cruel that you’re pulling on him.

he sat down on the bedside, sliding his hand into yours and squeezing it slightly. he was hoping that you would reciprocate the gesture. but you didn’t. your hand was already cold.

“my love... i am home now. please, open your eyes for me, dear,” he shuddered a breath. diluc continued to squeeze your hand, hoping that you were just asleep and have not wake up. but still, you remain unmoving, eyes close, face looking pale and your skin grew colder.

he breath in shakily, closing his eyes tightly before reaching into his pocket for the ring that he was to propose you to. he slides the ring on your finger, a tear falling down his cheek. “it fits you perfectly. like a glove. like the way you fit my heart perfectly,”

[0ddity]

dude i need to know what is happening to nathan explosion on twitter what are they doing to him

agh. im so sorry to inform you that within the last week ppl on twitter were interpreting nathan explosion as a domestic abuser and also saying he's "not actually indigenous" because of blood quantum shit .... it's been disappointing to say the least and incredibly racist to say the most lol.

like why cant people just be normal about nathan like he's a character that's shown to have so much growth in the metalocalypse timeline and yet he's reduced to stereotypes within the (predominantly white) fanbase :/

[cowboy-robooty]

Robooty Reviews: Oni To Tengoku (8.9/10) ROBOOTY PERSONAL FAVORITE

(in my heart its a 10/10)

Atsurou Aoki is an english teacher who has some mad fuckin self esteem issues. hes our beautiful pathetic man protag and he ends up tangled up in a relationship of sorts with the school nurse, Manabu Tengoku. Its a dry premise and honestly the first volume requires you to sludge through a lot of average yaoi evil shit but please please please im begging you endure okay. i have been an oni to tengoku-er since 2019 and ive been following the development of the sequel (oni to tengoku sai) and the (now third) sequel (oni to tengoku kyuu) of this series and GOD. ILL BE REAL IM A MANIAC AND PROBABLY GOT A LOT MORE OUT OF THIS SERIES THAN THE AUTHOR INTENDED AT ALL BUT IDGAF PLEASE READ IT PERHAPS YOU CAN EXPERIENCE THE SAME ENLIGHTENING AS ME. READ MORE HAS SPOILERS BE WARNED (PART 1 CUZ OF TUMBLR IMAGE LIMIT)

this will be a little different than usual because i have a whole lot to say about aoki and tengoku. Really, a lot of this will be just talking about how and why i like their relationship so if you end up liking this you should most definately read the full manga to experience it for yourself

Despite all the fuckin bullshit of the first volume, the manga is really fucking good at interweving in its core themes and setting up the psychological basis of Aoki. Aoki was abused by his mother as a child, but i think the depiction of abuse is really realistic because even though she whittles down his self esteem and makes him feel worthless she hugs him afterwards and still is motherly towards him, this aoki doesnt hate his mother and fully cut her off per say but she is a demon to him. its pretty realistic imo where parents can do awful things but they buy you a donut and then its like ermm well.. they bought me a donut and do this in my best interest so its okay. Aoki is fucked in the head though. because he doesnt feel like he can be loved deep down and his entire career path is something he chose only because it was expected of him by his family (and his entire life is grasping at straws in an attempt to not disappoint people)

he wants more than anything to just not be an embarassment and be "worthy" of being loved. I like how this is depicted because again it feels more realistic in that he isnt outwardly a freak about it or anything he doesnt have breakdowns in public or anything thats enough to warrent himself to feel like he needs to get help. but he definately does need help of some sort because his way of thinking and the constant guilt and shame he feels is just something thats normal to him now. hes just tired and a bit worn down, but its not like anything is exceptionally bad, since humans are surprisingly adaptable and hes just lived with feeling like hes an embarassment who disappoints people his entire life so its norm.

Tengoku obviously doesnt mean it in the way aoki is taking is. but its things like this that make the themes feel well interwoven to me. Aoki doesnt look tengoku in the eye and say "i have mommy issues and feel like being an embarassment is the reason i cant be loved" but he still shows it in a way that we the audience can see he means, since we can put together aoki's lifestyle and viewpoint from his inner dialogues and flashbacks to his mother's abuse. Aoki wants more than anything else to be a good boy because only good boys can be loved. and unfortunately for aoki san this kind of means he has developed a praise kink and good boy fetish which tengoku just naturally leans towards so erm haha tengoku just pushing those buttons all willy nilly!

Tengoku isnt an idiot though, as he pursues aoki he can definately connect the dots and all that shit for how aoki ticks. This isnt exactly hard to do anyways, since aoki passively talks about himself to tengoku during non crazy scenes and its not like hes an enigma or anything because again, he thinks that the way he lives is completely normal for a guy like him. Tengoku likes aoki and chases him and aoki isnt exactly a willing participant. Tengoku likes aoki because hes a fun plaything and interesting and pure hearted and everything tengoku is not and aoki begins to form an affection for tengoku because he itches the mental illness brain damage spot by pursuing and wanting him consistently and not getting bored.

These panels are true brain damage pages because it hits upon how all aoki wants is for someone to look at him directly and still want him. His greatest wish (that he doesnt even believe could come true at the bottom of his heart) is to have someone that could see him for who he is and despite all his flaws. despite how hes useless, despite how hes not good at anything (to him), despite how hes bad at relationships, despite how he cant talk with other people, and despite what an embarassment he is, still love and want him. Seriously, I must recommend you to read this for yourself. Theres the yaoi bullshit sludge but every chapter has bits and pieces of Aoki's mindset that is an insanely good representation and depiction of how that kind of mentality and acceptance is like.

Volume 2 is where things really pick up. Yaoi sludge has been toned down to make way for FUCKING SWAG!!!! the set up for aoki's mentality is done now were onto getting into the way tengoku and aoki's personalities actually interact with eachother. Along with dipping into tengokus crazy bitch syndrome

Over this volume, were shown that actually aoki and tengoku are a good match for eachother. At least, tengoku provides something special for aoki in that he doesnt know from personal experience the feeling of needing to earn love, but because of that he bounces off well with aoki because he shows basic interest in going "well your feelings and thoughts do matter though. youre a person too". this isnt explicitly said, but its little things liks this that end up making aoki fall in love with him. Aoki falling in love with tengoku is also interesting because this is his first time actively liking someone else because its what he wants, not because its what the other person expects. Despite how terrible their relationship was at first, it set a ground where Aoki was able to create a strong connection with someone without the initial fear of disappointing them since he even didnt like tengoku at first. Honestly with the way Aoki is I think that is why hes able to love tengoku out of his volition, since he already has shown his shameful parts to him and tengoku still wants him-- in fact tengoku is the only person who has seen Aoki's shame and refused to let him go, this lets Aoki take a breather and think about what HE desires for once instead of how to keep someone with him or do whats good for the other person/not shameful.

Also a new teacher is introduced who actually is one of the many guys Tengoku had play-boyed before who became a teacher just so he could try to win tengokus love lol. but he serves as a plot device for that yaoi jealousy arc WOOOHOOOO! I love the jealousy chapter a lot though because BOTH CHARACTERS experience jealousy in their own way. I'm not sure if what Aoki experiences can be classified under jealousy or not, but ill just say it is because thats easier. The chapter is wonderfully done though because see Tengoku has always been the one who chases Aoki but also the one who reminds him that he doesnt fall in love this is just a sex playboy thing. Aoki is the one who has fallen in love and does show this by treating Tengoku specially, but Tengoku obviously doesnt reciprocate this since the way he acts at least is more like Aoki is his favorite of a bunch of toys rather than his one and only like how Aoki sees him. Aoki feels bitterness over this because he wishes he could be loved by Tengoku since Tengoku is somewhat wishy washy and gives Aoki just enough to keep hope but also smushes that hope by refusing a drop more. (this is done though bc this is fucking yaoi ofc tengoku loves aoki to bits and pieces back but tengoku is just scared of liking aoki too much and showing it too much but hold on we havent gotten to tengokus insanity yet jeeeesus christ!). Also im kind of at the tumblr 10 image limit but I think showing these next three pages are really important so ermm me when i post this and then add a reblog or two with MORE BULLSHIT. I'll properly tag the versions with my reblogs