#Im gonna make such a good soup
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Sometimes I get back looking like I robbed someone poor dudes garden lol
Don’t worry tho no garden robbing occurred, just the awful wastefulness and mismanagement of ressources of our society
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Potato leek soup and some honey whole wheat bread from yesterday.
#they go very well together but not quite as good as if id made soda bread. the honey is a little too much for soup i think ?#was glad to try out the recipe tho. i wrote it up from memory for a friend and have been worried i was wrong#abt proportions and all but its fine.#tbh the way i cook is like. if the recipe require specific amounts of stuff and substitutes dont work#then im not gonna make it. im a#'throw stuff in a pot on autopilot' kinda guy. like with stuff like quiche especially#i dont HAVE a recipe i just do some stuff with what i have and then bam. delicious quiche every time#so... writing up recipes is a little difficult but im glad this one at least worked for me xD#cooking#baking#now all i need is some tea... too lazy tho
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things i am making this week :
chicken noodle soup recipe i found on tiktok
pesto salmon with roasted broccolini & parsnips (maybe chickpeas also)
green chicken & rice soup
butter chicken w basmati rice +the rest of my chickpeas &maybe an attempt at homemade naan
salmon rice bowl 🍚 avocado cucumber carrots idk the works. maybe some edamame would be good also ooooohh fuck i have shallots maybe fried or pickled shallots
#lot of chicken lot of salmon. but honestly i am#not a pork girly usually & beef is soooo expensive idk#dont mention me making soup twice OK its good to freeze#im gonna have a big cooking day tomorrow cuz im off
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the way i want to perfect my tomato soup and grilled cheese recipe for my girlfriend because it’s one of her safe foods when she doesn’t feel good
#snz blog#snz kink#snzblr#caretaking#if anyone has a panera tomato soup recipe that tastes exactly like the one from the restaurant send it my way#when i find the perfect recipe im gonna make a bunch and freeze it#so the second i can tell she’s not feeling good i can give her some
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could you draw plague!will?
i dont know what plague dude is supposed to look like or how he's supposed to work so you get biology and chemistry flashcards instead
#eyestrain#soup ask#will solace#plague will#soup art#will is this shade of blue now#no more gray green pthalo its ultramarine time baby#i owe it to nicohate for making me appreciate ultramarine blue i used to dislike it#im thinking it takes a lot of work to make a deadly virus#but what if he can just make you super susceptible by weakening ur immune system#problem is i dont know how you would do that#scary stuff ahead#talk about death and stuff#scared me so warning for me#could pull some good old biology and denature all your proteins#prions are scary he could likely manage something like that#if he can control cell tissue he could burst an artery#or cause a clot that would lodge and block blood supply to the brain resulting in a stroke#could he give someone sickle cell disease?#maybe he could just take ur platelets and no wound is gonna ever close over#interesting thought food
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lowkey glad i got my wisdom teeth out now because im getting used to barely eating and i know once school starts im gonna have to start getting back in the rhythm of one meal a day because i don’t do lunch (vent in the tags mb)
#tw eating issues#i look thinner i think and i like that#im trying to keep up this eating pattern to get used to it when school starts#i’m learning how to keep my stomach from making noise which is good#it’s fucked up when i think about it but whatever#anyway i’ve been meaning to vent for a while about this#only thing im nervous about is having physics my third and second to last periods but ill figure it out#im trying to lose more weight#i think im doing good on my soup diet tbh#i’ll keep it going as long as i can#i hate how i feel after eating though#im considering learning how to water fast#i think that’ll help#anyway this git dark sorry#i’m fine im just in a bad headspace#i’ll be fine#ill stop when im satisfied#vent#i wanna go from small to extra small tbh#i wanna be thinner#i hate this#ive been dealing with it since i was twelve#whatever#tw ed#idk can u even call it an ed?#sometimes the only motivation i have is knowing if i keep eating im gonna look gross when i go out#i’ll be fine i’ll stop when i want#no one will even know it’ll be so easy#it makes me feel in control#like i’m in control here instead of the thoughts
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Why do I fucking sweat when I eat?? Like not spicy food, plain fucking rice and gravy too. Is it the carbs?? Like is my body trying SO hard to digest shit it's sweating?? (God that would suck, I don't need ANOTHER digestion related surgery/treatment)
And I'm talking SWEATING like my neck and back (not my pussy and my crack lmao) are DRENCHED with sweat to the point that I have little handkerchiefs with me to try to remedy it. It's more my neck and back than anything, but my face sweats too
This shit sucks man
#marquilla#im gonna have to keep a food journal again 😑#i think it MIGHT be my onion allergy bc i fucking sweat buckets at bob evans when i eat that roast beef sandwich like its so good but so#embarrassing sgdggdgdgd they have great chicken tenders though as a backup option#but anyway that has so much onions and i use 1 packet of onion soup mix when i make stews and roasts so i wonder if it's that 🥺#this suuuuucks sgdgdgdg i fucking hate my allergies so bad man like im allergic to the dumbest fucking things#my therapist was like 'oh my are you eating enough? like since so much is restricted?' and it's like well ive gained 10+ lbs in the past two#or so years so... 😅 i guess? i guess im good?? im not LOSING weight so yes?? (im fine with the weight gain btw sgdggdd im not#like lamenting that ive gained weight its all good 🤙 getting boobus)#ANYWAY ANYWAY i hate food journals i wanna eat normally 🥺 i wanna eat wheat and potatoes and onions and everything
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back home and my washing is done and I need to eat lunch and do my ironing and then I've done all the tasks on my list and I can spend the rest of the day having a mental breakdown and then go straight to sleep woohoo
#wait no i cant bc my mum wants to call. well i can have like a 2 hr breakdown and then call her and make dinner and then get back to it#i cant go out or do anything nice its too much. for a taurus i rly suck at this hedonism shit 🙄#its fine just the comedown innit. love med mood swings bc i have smth to blame other than myself when i feel bad#and i was always gonna feel bad today anyway. its just a reminder of how im not even a real person and all i do is take from everyone#and i can never make up for that no matter how hard i try and i can never feel sorry enough abt it!!!!#lets not even get into it or ill be typing an entire monologue here. as per fucking usual anyway#its all good ill remember how to be normal in a bit 👍 god its so fucking embarrassing feeling like this sorry for ventposting#but i will blow the flat up with myself in it otherwise so. niche microblogging platform i use as a journal save me#eating my fuckign. Soup#.diaries#.vent
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Happy birthday!!! (Or having turned an age ) I hope you have the best year yet (you deserve it:)
thank you sam<3
#genuinely#i just had a really good year and the prospect of it being beat makes me hopeful to be alive#cause i know theres no way i peaked at 19#what a good life#i just woke up after being out til 5 am im gonna have instant soup and maybe ice cream for breakfast/lunch festival aftershow consequences#yeehaw
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Okay, I have about 100 pages left in Veniss Underground, so I'm going to shut my phone off, set a timer for an hour, and try to finish it. It's a quick read once I get into it. Might also try to read while pacing the apartment bc my neck/jaw hurt and I think sitting scrunkled up on the couch is making that worse lmao.
My goal is to finish Veniss and then have zero reading obligations for the rest of the year. I need a break. I'm so burnt out that sometimes thinking about the books I want to read makes me a little nauseous, no matter how little pressure I put on myself goal-wise (this is the Year of Burnout for sooooooo many things). I might pick up a manga or comic between now and new years, something quick and light that can be read in a few hours, and I've actually been reading fanfic again recently which is a nice change, I fell off the bandwagon with it for a while bc I didn't have any fandoms I was passionate enough about to look up fic.
But! No novels! None! Braincell Recovery Time Only!!
#*100 pages of the main book left. then theres an afterword and short story i might read or else might save for later#im liking this story a lot more from Nicola and Shadrach's perspectives#still not as brain-melting as some of his other books but pretty good#also most of the fanfic im reading is like 2k word smut. i WILL read romance in fanfic form just Not Novel Form#Don't Ask Me Why#anyway basically my goal between now and new years is to do things that don't require a lot of brainpower#probably a combo of videogames (which require brainpower but in a Different Fun Way) and housework#also im gonna make french onion soup qnd charcuterie again bc that was the BEST idea last year it was SO GOOD AND NICE AND SIMPLE#maybe i will also find a defunctland video to get drunk and cry to like the disney channel theme documentary last year#im just procrastinating now bc i have to get up and find my fitbit to set a timer so i can shut my phone off
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as someone who frequently doesnt eat real food for days due to the eating disorder. i might literally have a meltdown abt being unable to eat real food cuz my throat is too swollen to swallow anything. i WANT to eat. do you know how rare that is!!!!
#yelling at clouds#it's my Only symptom at this point#my throat is insanely swollen and i keep coughing up phlegm. that's it#i started getting a headache earlier n i think it was purely dehydration. my nose isnt blocked!#i feel like smth is Stuck in my throat. it is my fucking uvula.#im gonna make more soup i just#i am so mad i cant even have Good soup. cuz i need it to be purely liquid.#what is the POINT if the soup isnt 50% cheese!!!!!
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Having a very good passover <3 Was a great day for me with school being closed, and I finally got delivered a school jacket i won in a draw!
Had fun making the seder for myself. Spent the night preping the food and making my own seder plate (I don't have a bone tho... limits). Made do with what I had <3
And shout out to my catholic friends who were supportive and chatted with me on text whilst I prepped for Passover XD <3
Feels a little less like I'm doing it alone by chatting with friends <3
#im. a little bit wine drunk. theres a lot of wine involved in this.#my soup turned out well too im very happy#been struggling a bit the past few days but today was really good.#heres to the spring. were all gonna make it through i believe in all of us#the prophet speaks
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world is cruel but my grandmother's dark brown skin is warm and shes old enough for her hair to be peppered grey and white and theres so much strength in her bones when she squeezes my hand when i sit on the edge of her bed and the skin of her palms is hard and smooth and i get to talk to her and hug her. so consider that
#you know the reason why i even chose pedrisco as a last name was because that was the last name of the side of her family that took her in#and protected her after her mother died and her father abandoned her#i wish she was younger and she could show me where she used to live at the ranch but sometimes she talks to me about stuff like that and#thats good too. i like her very much#i forgive her for inflicting childhood catholism on me maybe. sometimes#well anyways i think its funny my mother was CONVINCED she would haev a FREAK OUT over my piercing my face and she litearlly did not say a#single thing except when my aunt asked me if i was gonna get more and i was like well i want tooo but i know im not and my grandma from her#bed was like 💔dont get more and we were all laughing but yeah im probably not gonna get more#but that was all i told her my grandmother wasnt going to have a freak out but she didnt believe me well whatever i like my grandma she giv#me fruit and soup. forrrr meeeeeeee#i dont ever get to talk about good parent stories like other people but at least i have very healthy relationships with my grandma and all#cousins aunts/uncles so it definitely makes up for it
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SOUP-ER BOWL ROUND 15
LIVIN' THE DREAM IN CREAM, THIS SOUP IS A SWAMP OF FLAVOR YOU AND YOUR ONIONS WILL WANT TO SINK INTO, LIKE AN OGRE INTO MUD, THIS SOUP'LL SOON BECOME YOUR LIFEBLOOD--IT'S CREAM OF ONION SOUP!
(image credit: tasteofhome.com)
AND, AS THE NAME IMPLIES, FROM FRANCE THIS SOUP IS MULTI-LAYERED JUST LIKE ITS MAIN INGREDIENT--IT'S GOT CROUTONS, IT'S GOT CHEESE, AND OF COURSE, IT'S GOT ONIONS--SAY BIEN VENUE FOR FRENCH ONION SOUP!!
(recipe: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/13309/rich-and-simple-french-onion-soup/
image credit: poshjournal.com)
#btw onion rings are SO good#but not funyun#i mean like. theres this one specific asian brand#which i can no longer find anywhere#it was so good :(#soup#souper bowl#soup-er bowl#tumblr polls#polls#french onion soup#cream of onion#i could make at least three (3) seggsual jokes about cream and onions and shrek but im not gonna because i dont want to lose followers#no recipe for cream of onion because all the ones i found have too few reviews for me to trust#and also im tired and sick and want to get this over with#the image credit should have a recipe tho
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day 3 of living alone: i need to move out i need to move out i need to move out i need to move out i need to move out
#literally i have not felt this happy in so long#its literally only been two days but i feel so like. alive.#back home i cant cook because i dont feel safe in the kitchen let alone outside of my room#i cant go on walks whenever i cant even just walk around my house without feeling like im doing something wrong#meanwhile here ive done groceries ive prepared all my lunches for the week i made myself a delicious soup for supper#and im gonna make cookies after im done and play cards while listening to music on the speaker#back home i cant do that. i cant do something that simple. im essentially bedridden most days at home bcs i have no energy#so here ive been on my feet so long that they hurt!!! but it feels so good!! i feel free!!!#but im already dreading having to go back !!!! i cant go back i think itll kill me if i do#dl
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yeah I’m having a migraine it hurts so bad im seeing white and fuzzy colors aughhh it burns
#i have to squint while i type. i hit my head today accidentally while working and it hurts#and the crying earlier didn’t help but it was needed. a good cry..#i can feel it pulsing i hate this and all food smells make me wanna barf…….#god someone hold me while I scream in terror#i think im gonna eat fruit and water and soup today ..im……sick i think….
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