#Idk how to explain it but it’s difficult for me to work with it and I probably won’t be using it much

[hearts4pearlescentmoon]

Drawing the photos I’ve been avoiding for a while (but in red)

[raiiny-bay]

attempting to learn particle systems.....

[g0thsoojin]

📓🦇

[in-tua-deep]

man i have really been thinking about worldbuilding and exposition in books recently

when i was like, i don’t know, twelve-ish, I picked up this book about a teenage girl in a spy school. and i absolutely fell in love with it - I thought it was incredibly neat how the book just seemed to drop me into the middle of the story, even starting in the girl’s second year. in fact, the main character frequently referenced events from her first year (falling in love with a civilian, things ending badly, finding secret passageways, losing her mother’s trust etc.) 

and I actually really enjoyed the fact that the character had a rich and vibrant life outside of what i had read and that the book didn’t go out of its way to explain her past in flashbacks or anything. i understood the main takeaways and why she was reacting to things based on what i gleaned, and more than that i understood the growth of the character, why she was cautious in certain places but reckless in others, etc and i felt smarter for not being handed the answer on a silver platter

anyway it wasn’t until i finished the book and realized there was a sequel that i looked it up and found out that. in fact. i had started with the second book in the series.

oops.

[ff2-soda-pop]

I'm starting to question if I should even bother with the stupid paper.... I'm probably just gonna fail anyways lmao

[toastsnaffler]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[idledreams4]

I know I'm spending too much time on Tumblr cause y'all just call me Harlenn

I just got caught off guard when someone who I know keeps calling my by my dead name did exactly that.

I'm so used to hearing the name I want to that I got blindsided and also it's making me re-evaluate my friend choices...

[our-inspire-verse]

Literallyyyyy brought to my knees. What am i to do? What do i even want.

I'm afraid captain!

Be not so. I know.

Stop it Mitten. I'm frustrated and afraid. What do you know? Telling me is making it worse. You STUPId hoe.

Poetry or rant or vent. Fucking idk.

But what do i have and when is it not? What makes it pop and what's gonna make it rot?

Maybe not. Maybe not. Gonna bite someone. Please god im brought to my knees this capitalist hellscape is bringing me no rest. I want to smoke. My body is fighting me every step of the way. Pulling back like a dog on a leash. My collar is up around my ears and the blood is pumping until they're ringing. Even if i stop pulling, i can't breathe. Im in limbo!

This is about everything. And i still dont have a car. But mitten says im not that far. Do i trust her? What is climaxing in February and please stop responding "me, hopefully" if you know something. Strangers will scroll past like. Huh? Lovers will know.

I don't. I don't know. I'm the exception. But I'm definitely still a lover, as lovers often go.

[gunkbaby]

never showed u guys my guinea pigs (had to give the ferrets back - in tags)

this is jarvis

[jonny-b-meowborn]

I am genuinely so terrified of the fact that I have to find a job now. I'm trying to think of or look up a job that's suitable for my mentally ill autistic ass and I just. I don't know. Everything either requires some very specific qualifications that I don't have, or seems at best awfully exhausting, at worst literally putting me in danger. And I'm not even exaggerating, I genuinely think that working in retail, for example, could possibly kill me if I was forced to do that job for long enough. I sometimes get overwhelmed to the point of crying when there's too many other customers while I'm shopping, I can't imagine working in an environment like that. I suppose physical jobs could work, I've been to this blueberry plantation twice last week and mentally I was fine, but it was. So tiring. And you don't even make that much money a day, I don't think I could earn enough even if I did work there everyday, not to mention it's only a seasonal job. Right now it's fine for me to go there every now and then, but if I wanted to move out and become independent I'd have to get an actual day job. And that sounds impossible. The only job that sounds good to me is being an artist, it's not too mentally or physically difficult, and it's something I enjoy. But I'd have to get commissions constantly or start a small business or something like that to actually survive. And I'm not saying it's impossible, I know that people can live by being an artist, but it's so hard to get into that field. I wish I could do it but I dont know if it's possible for me. Makes me wanna cry. I hate this I hate that my brain isn't suited for this world and still I have to participate in all that shit that everyone has to do. My brain isn't made for working like that

[thedandelionthief]

today has been such a weird day...

[scarletcomet]

i feel like one thing people don’t really understand about mental health recovery is that it could be life or death. not to be dramatic, but i am fighting for my life right now. if i hadn’t gone to the emergency room those two times this month, i don’t know if i still would be here.

[caruliaa]

the thing abt being in a minority group and caring abt people who arent in that group is that it is godamm exhausting sometimes.

[sharkieboi]

had a breakdown cause of a work-related thing and texted my boss that i’d like to chat with her about said thing and she just responded “okay” which i logically know is the appropriate response to your employee texting you at 8pm asking to speak with you this week but also my brain is so fried that i’m ready to cry again just thinking about potentially having this conversation with her if she feels like she needs to be on the defensive

[perfectlullabies]

the way one of the only remaining things in my grandparents’ flat is the calendar on the wall which is on may 16th is so telling. i am too stuck on that day still. i haven’t touched my thesis since then, i haven’t driven a car since then, haven’t done so many things since then. i can’t believe it’s gonna be another may soon, rly. 1st anniversary? and then what? another ones? i wish ppl understood i’m so stuck. it’s sooo unbelievably hard to go on. i’m so tired, i’ve changed so much. why can’t nobody see this omfg it’s like i’m screaming for attention here and yet even ppl who know me irl and read these posts or if i tell them face to face, they just don’t care??? i don’t expect much, i don’t expect anything rly? just like. a question once in a while. or idk...they should know 

[threadmonster]

What does it mean when you strategically plan out how to buy something without judgement being passed down upon you? Just... Just asking for a friend (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)