#plenty of stuff is already in the cloud

[threadmonster]

What does it mean when you strategically plan out how to buy something without judgement being passed down upon you? Just... Just asking for a friend (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

[claitea]

whoa guys did you see the new cards i really want alto's full art!!

made with this site! art without the text under the cut :D

[iwaasfairy]

┌─ “ ! „ FEARLESS, STUPID

tw. a/b/o, military au, dystopian au, noncon, threesome, heat, dumbification, double penetration, patronization/ degradation, praise kink, daddy kink, dom/sub themes, choking, anal play, a lot of spit and cum, size kink, tummy bulging, mentions of human captives, kinda forced prostitution wordcount. 9.8k

a/n. I had a lot of fun writing this one bc it’s just extremely fairycore and indulgent. heavily inspired by rhi and her incredible brain for writing the hand that feeds!!! I love that fic and have always wanted to write smt set in vaguely the same world. thank you to everyone who beta read as well I appreciate it soooo much ♡♡

geto suguru, kong shiu, fushiguro toji x fem!reader

The air is dry and cold, enough to hurt on the way in. It’s cold enough for your warm air to come back out and form droplets on your nose that drip into the snow.

Your head down, crouched in the smallest shape you can make yourself, is how you find yourself drifting in and out of focus. Not only are you cold and hungry, but it’s been long enough for the scent of smoke and ash and foul, sour fear to have started losing it’s smell. You can’t even expend the energy to move your head to the side and look, without getting tired. The crunching of the heavy boots in the snow is the only thing that’s pulling you back into it. That and the occasional clang of the line of cuffs shaking around someone’s wrists.

It’s gone quiet now.

You wonder if others have fallen asleep. You’re not far off yourself. When some commotion happens over by the gates, some of the uniformed figures rush to go look, feet kicking up snow as they go — It’s a blur of shouts and orders, before the loud hum of an armored vehicle stops not too far away. That’s all it takes to wake you up again, and despite yourself, your arms start shaking in their place behind your back. The cold of the metal radiates all through your bones.

You realize you’re scared. That’s the thumping between your ears.

“Lieutenant. Good evening, Sir.”

A soft, almost warm voice stands in stark contrast against the cold of the surroundings when the feet stop a few steps short of the kneeling row of people. “At ease, soldier.” He sounds older than some of the youthful faces you’ve seen here, dragging people around by their ankles to stuff them into loaded trucks. But not old. Not nearly old enough to carry the weight he does. “What’s all this?” the voice pivots, aimed now towards your group. A few of the women beside you uneasily shuffle in their places.

“Captives from a raid by the fifth division this morning. They interfered with the commission’s supply line when they tried to escape.”

You smell smoke with each breath. The man makes a soft humming noise, before he scans the row of kneeling people again. “So why are they still here? We have plenty of mouths to feed already.” You have seen what they do with prisoners here. Just this one, long day has shown you all you need to know. Your life will be short and unnoticed, and if you’re lucky, you won’t go through hell before you’re shot between your eyes. The cold air makes clouds in front of your face, as the steam rises above the snow into the black night. “Beta's?”

“Yes, Sir.”

You strain your neck to tilt your head up. You’re not sure why you do it. Maybe it’s the wrongful association of that voice, smooth and lithe and easy- with the pain you’ve witnessed. You don’t have much hope of making it out, and though you could beg, you’re not even sure if they see you as human enough to consider a plea a plea. Your eyes glide up the perfectly fitted suits, dark gray and gold until you find the face of the leader— and startle. Long, black hair is tied into a sloppy bun in his neck, and long bangs almost hide one eye from view.

But the eyes are striking and sharp and long lashes frame them against pale skin, and you can’t look away when his lips form the words. “So, kill them.” His cigarette burns bright orange when he takes another pull.

The younger of the two only lets out the briefest breath. “...Yes, Sir.”

The fear makes the pitched whimper get stuck in your throat, and more puffy clouds drift out of your lips when you start to shuffle in a panic. Not fight, you don’t ever fight. The man turns on his heel. And you’re not the only one, as soon cries and sniffles and the petrified glances only set you off more. Your eyes drop to the muddied, dirty patches of snow that the cars drove through, the people around the camp; as your stomach turns and your bottom lip starts to wobble. You knew this is how you’d turn out.

As soon as they put the cuffs on and tossed you onto the ground to wait… your own whimpering just melts into that of the others, but peaks when a hand grabs you by the hair and yanks you up, then lifts you by your arm. “No, no, stop!” The girls around you start screaming too, one grabbing at your arms to pull you back down. But the soldier doesn’t hesitate to kick her in the nose, as you cry, trembling like a kitten picked up by her neck.

Everyone’s scared for themselves, but they’re scared for you too, and you for them. “Stop, please! Please!” They cry. The blood thumping between your ears makes it hard to focus on anything but the painful grip on you, and the disgusted face of the man before you. When you don’t make any effort to fight, he drops you back down into the cold snow, and instead aims the long barrel of his gun straight at you.

You can’t even look away, as your heart rate slows. As you watch the small snowflakes come from the sky to meet you.

“Wait.” The voice returns when he stops halfway to the car, and makes your eyes shoot up to find his face, as shivers roll down your back. You know you’re stinking up the place, as the placating hands of the girls around you reach to brush fingers. It’s not much, but allows you to take a sniveling breath. “This one’s an Omega… Settle down, soldier. We’re not trying to hurt, are we?” The buzzcut’s eyes widen slightly, maybe as he takes a first good look at you and notices the smaller frame, big doe-like eyes, the softer set of your face and demeanor. Just as quickly as he gives you another up and down, he steps aside and lowers his heavy-duty gun back to the ground.

The older one takes a step back towards you. Your face must be windbitten, lips cracked and cold and stained with tears where you sit, but the noiret doesn’t falter as he drops into a squat before you. His face breaks out into a soft smile, and his hand rises to brush along your cheek, avoiding the black eye as he goes. “You’re a rare find. You on blockers?” Not enough recent ones to keep out all of the scent, clearly.

It’s not a question that needs answering, but as his thumb brushes over your lip, you find yourself giving the smallest nod. Gently, careful not to make any harsh movements. He does the same when he helps you right yourself back onto your knees, and then gives you a slow, calculated trace with his ocean-dark, silvery eyes. “Smart. We almost missed out on you with all the Beta stench.” A small furrow worms between his brows. “Are there others?” He asks, and then gives a swift continuation. “Don’t lie. If you lie I’ll know.”

Your voice cracks when you start. “I- If I tell you- what will happen to them?”

With only the slightest bit of hesitation, he seems to mull it over. Sharp, angular features soften just a bit as he draws his hand back from your face to run it under his nose instead. And whatever he smells must soothe the urge to get angry at being questioned, because his cheeks push up genially until his eyes are practically just moons. “How’s this? I’ll be fair, after hearing whatever information you have.” The anxiety ebbs and flows as you look to the faces at your side, then swallow.

Your heart hammers wildly in your chest. You have no reason to lie. There’s no one left that didn’t get shot as they ran… You clear your strained voice with a tight cough. “I- this is all that’s left. There’s no one else. We had people who escaped before you even closed in. B-but there weren’t any Omega’s left, the last raid already took them all. That’s all I know.” You try to keep your bottom lip from wobbling as you talk, ignoring the cold of the tears that are now freezing on your lashes.

Those dark, unrelenting eyes don’t waver as you speak, and you can’t help but wonder what it is he sees. Surely he knows, you wouldn’t need to lie. Just as you start getting anxious at the silence, he gets up from the floor, before dusting impatient hands over his pristine jacket— and a saccharine smile slips back onto his lips as he waves a hand. “Bring the Omega.” You jump when the soldier from earlier immediately starts yanking at your chains, but that’s it. It’s not in your nature to fight back. Then the Lieutenant walks back to the car as another opens it for him, and casts a final glance your way.

The smile doesn’t fall when he shifts that gaze to the side, and sucks his teeth. “Kill the monkeys.”

+

There’s nothing more embarrassing than having to fight your nature at every turn. You’re confronted with it more than you’ve ever been before, when they drag you across the cold tiles with your legs kicking, tears rolling in thick beads down your face and neck. You’re not a fighter. You’re not made for it. At every chance, your body chooses the easiest way out, oblige now, suffer later. Even when your mind screams at you to run, bite and kick and escape — you stay down. Cold metal slices into the tender and sore skin of your wrists when they yank you up another few feet, before dropping you onto the floor next to the makeshift desk.

You’re sniveling like a child. The man behind the desk looks at the several soldiers who stay put, before lifting an eyebrow.

“Lieutenant Geto says you’re to clean her up for processing.” One of the men sighs, before glaring down at you with a tight-lipped frown. It sets the hairs on your neck on end to feel such blatant displeasure from an Alpha.

The lighter haired young man stands from the chair at that, and gives you a quick once over. “For the barracks or to be sent to the commission?” He smiles when you look up at him, gentler, then places a warm hand on the top of your head to start soothing you. It’s enough to make your lip wobbly. The little bit of warmth isn’t enough… but it feels so nice. So good, to have a caring touch.

One of the other soldiers takes the heavy strap off his shoulder to put the gun down, and grunts. “Neither.” His top lip lifts into a scowl as he glares at the corner of the room, before turning to look down at you too. “Personal pick, I heard.”

The other soldier remains at the door, but clicks his tongue. “And we’re supposed to keep our mouths shut about it.”

“You ever had an Omega?” The one asks the other, nervously grinding his gun in circles. “I haven’t. Yet we’re going to war for ‘em… Only for pompous pricks to get first pick of the litter because they’re bold enough not to report to the commission.” The soldier grins without any amusement from across you, and you can’t help but hide more into the leg of the man who’s still touching you kindly. “Goin’ to war for pussies like yours… must make you something real special, right? But you’re unreported. What’s keeping me from just… taking you for myself?” Then he looks between the two other men. “I’m even willing to share between the three of us if you’d help out. Keep some things quiet.”

“You said the Lieutenant picked her out because he liked her, right?” The lighter haired man runs his free hand through his undercut, then leans down to lift you under your arms and get you onto tired legs against him. “Means you got something in return for keeping a secret already.” He’s all wired muscle under the uniform he wears, and wraps his arm around the small of your back before picking you up entirely. “Don’t do something stupid. There’s no place to keep her where some officer wouldn’t smell her anyway. Can’t keep her under your mattress like a pack of cards, can you?” He starts walking you towards the doors of a presumed bathroom without complaining, even though the other guy clicks his tongue.

“Itadori. You think you’re helping out just being another dog for the commission?”

“Instead of a thief?” He pushes the door open with one hand, already walking through. “Go get your free drinks or cigarettes or whatever he promised you, and do your job. I’m doing mine.”

The door falls shut with a loud noise behind you both, and you suck your bottom lip into your mouth. Your arms wrap a little tighter around his neck. “T-Thank you.”

His grey eyes find yours, before he smiles again. Softer. He’s an Alpha too, but must come into contact with your kind more frequently. He feels gentler to the touch when he speaks. “Don’t thank me yet.” Then he deposits you in a stained, old bathtub, and sighs before grabbing the showerhead. “Let’s get you cleaned up first. Ranking officers like their girls extra clean.” When you don’t move, he goes to take off your dirty shirt, and you only shiver in place as it happens.

After a few seconds of silence where he brushes fingers over the unmarked stretch of your neck, you swallow tightly. “You can’t let me go, can you?”

Itadori turns up the water until it’s warm, and his brows flatten. “…No. I’m here to do a job. I’m sorry.” You believe him. Doesn’t make you feel any better, though.

+

The cot is barely big enough for you, and the cold from the floor radiates up through the ratty, old mattress into you. But it’s still better than sleeping in the bed where Geto sleeps, where he can get his hands all over you, hold you, cling to you. You’re glad that the Lieutenant doesn’t particularly care whether or not you shy back away from him for the night, as long as you don’t act up when he wants you close. It’s an unwritten contract he likes to pretend you have. As if you weren’t forced into it. As if you had any choice.

The starchy sheets are cold too, they leave you shivering more than sleeping. When you walk through the halls you’re cold and barefoot and uncomfortable, but when you’re here you’re colder, naked and more uncomfortable.

You don’t know that much about the army. You don’t know that much about other things either, but you know that Omega’s are few and far in between. You know they go for lots of money, money that even Geto doesn’t have. You know that he’s using you to your full potential before his higher-ups find out, and that too much commotion would draw attention of the commission. Attention you don’t want. When your teeth start chattering, the man in the large bed, with the soft pillows and body heat calls.

Says your name like he means it. Like he likes to whisper to get under your skin- holding your life between slim fingers. He sighs. “Come. Get into bed. I can’t sleep when you’re not sleeping. And you’re not going to sleep when you’re shivering to death.”

“I’ll sleep,” you softly assure, pull your thin blanket closer. Your feet are cold and the room isn’t dark enough for it to actually happen. But you can pretend.

“I’m not asking.” You know he’s not. Maybe it’s because the alarm clock is showing an ungodly hour— and he’s tired. It wouldn’t be the first time his boot meets your cheek when you whine too much, displease him in ways Geto doesn’t like. “Come.”

He yawns when opening the blankets, waves you closer. An Alpha demands, and your lungs ache to follow the order. It physically hurts to resist. Your thin layer of tears sit on your waterline for a while before you shift. Slip across the room naked, and crawl into the bed under his arm. “That’s a good pet…” The panes of his chest are warm enough to have you melting like ice into his shape and mold yourself to him. It’s in the weight of his arm over your waist as he pulls you in close. Tethers you. You want to be and stay mad. Frightened.

It’s just… Geto’s scent’s become one you can bury yourself into. Your hands ball against his chest, and the fingers he presses into your hips stray down.

Your breathing hitches at the touch, and your stomach seems to want to crawl up into your mouth when he spreads your legs apart. “I’m hardly the worst one here. Get used to it already. People here are frustrated. Many of them haven’t had an Omega in years.” His rough fingertips slide between your legs and trace over the raw, achy mess he made of you not hours before. It’s sticky and uncomfortable, and you jerk when he rather impatiently starts thumbing your clit. It hurts- enough to make your face scrunch as you hide it into his pecks. “You don’t even know how lucky you are that I’ve kept you to myself.”

You do know that, though. You’ve passed by some of the barracks further away from the officer buildings. You’ve smelled the Omega fear, the blood and sweat and ruts; or what it’s like for a person to beg for a moment of reprieve. You have not a scratch on you, and you should be more grateful than you are. That you’re not taking a whole division’s sexual frustration to keep them from killing each other. When his fingers slide the wetness, remnants of slick and cum back into you and force your pussy to stretch again- you start sniffling against him. “I know I am,” you whimper, biting your lip. It’s not enough to just be this. You can’t just lay and wish for it all to go away. You have to be a participant, or Geto might switch you out.

As you whimper, swallowing back the tears- he presses his lips against your forehead. “Can’t help but cry? Poor baby.” He grinds the fleshy part of his palm against your pussy, breathing against you. “Tell me what it feels like.”

“I- Feels- b-big,” you choke out, twitching when his fingers curl into you and fuck deeper until they stroke much deeper than your own. The coldness fades a little when he rolls you over onto your back and gets on top, pinning you with his thigh. “Geto-sama- Please stop, I’m still- sore. It- it hurts really bad.”

With a slight frown, he pulls his fingers out of you and wipes them on your thigh, before sighing. Your eyes crack open at the lack of touch. His long black hair falls down over his shoulders, as he holds himself above you— and stares at you for a moment too long. One where he seems to consider your feelings at least a little, for once, brushing his clean thumb along your neck and shoulder. “I’m going back to the front soon. Do you know what that means?”

You’re not sure if it’s meant to be patronizing… but you don’t know. The wet, cold numbness that returns to your cunt is an unexpected unease. You wanted to stop. You did. But when he sits back on his heels and looks at you for a few seconds in abject silence, the distance feels too far. Geto comes back to you with a furrowed brow, before a line of kisses is pressed along your jaw and neck, where he takes a deep breath and makes your entire body purr. “Means you’ll be passed on to some other scum.” He almost growls when he says it, urges your one leg over his thigh to make room.

“I put in a good word that if I come back you’ll come back to me- but…” His sharp eyes find yours blown out and dark, as he pulls you closer to his hips and rolls himself against you. His hard cock- he’s always hard when you’re in his bed, bops as he grabs himself and pumps a few achingly slow strokes. A translucent drop of precum drops to your pussy, and he spits on his hand and your pussy for good measure. “I’ll be two months without this soft Omega cunt squeezing me to sleep.” As he groans and slides the flushed head of his cock against you, he presses his weight into you again. “Let me use you. Or see what fucking happens.”

+

The hearth burns at the far end of the pristine, wooden room. Enough to make your hands clammy, shifting yourself back and forth between both legs- before glancing up to Geto once more. He looks more pampered today. Standing straight with only his fingers looped loosely around your arm. For a split second you wonder if you’d be able to make it down the marble set of stairs and across the courtyard into the shallow bushes— but it’s only a moment. Not more than a brief hope that instantly gets snuffed out when the heavy doors slide open, and a deep grunt passes by you both.

Geto salutes, the man does not. He only clears his voice with a mix of impatience and -tobacco, probably, before motioning his head towards the desk. “Lieutenant, what can I do for you?” His voice is frighteningly low, more rumble and bass than anything else, and sets the hairs on your arms on end.

His half-lidded eyes flick from the man beside you, ever so swiftly to you, then back. Face blank, uncaring. You stumble when Geto takes a few steps forward, basically dragging you behind him towards the chairs. When he lets you go, he gives you a look, and so you sit. Hands folding in your lap to keep them from picking at the edges of your clothing.

Or lack thereof. There’s a clean gold plate with the name Shiu Kong engraved at the very front of the desk, staring back at you. Your Alpha doesn’t hesitate to sit down too. “Major General Kong, Sir. A pleasure as always. You’ve lost some weight?”

“Hardly,” the man shoots right back, unfazed. “You can lay off the flattering.”

Geto and the stranger seem to converse with their eyes for a moment, before your owner gets comfortable in the velvet chair beside you, and hangs his arms over the back with a slight smile. The other man doesn’t bother to sit in his own chair across from you, instead just bending to get out one of the no-doubt expensive cigarettes, and lighting it. The smoke travels in slow, winding circles up to the ceiling as he hums. “So, the Omega. Y’ want to buy her?”

“I’d like her returned to my possession with the least amount of scratches when I get back, Sir.”

“We’re in a war, Suguru.” The man takes a short puff of his cigarette again, before putting his foot onto the chair and leaning in just barely. Dark, grayish eyes narrow. “You can’t pick out playthings at your whim. We have rules about these sorts of things.” The ash goes into the overfull ashtray, before those irises find you where you’re still slumped in the too-big chair. Almost amused, he lets out a bit of air through his nose, before punctuating his words with another drag. “Higher ranks get first picks, but if you’re gone, you’ll have to share. She looks healthy, young. Girls like that go for a lot of money these days.”

“I understand, Sir.” Geto’s smile doesn’t slip though, not even when he takes one of your hands and pulls until you get up. With his prompting, you instead sit back down on his lap instead, and the noiret hooks his chin over your shoulder when he strokes your thigh. You duck your head in shame. “It’s just that- she’s more of an indoor pet. I’d like to keep it that way, if possible.” His other hand winds under your chin to nudge it back up into view, as you shiver. Watch the attention of the superior officer linger just a second on the way your shirt falls around your hips.

Geto’s. “You have a mansion not too far from the front, as I understand it? And due to surely unfortunate consequences, your last Omega… broke.” His voice gleams as he says the words, and they seem to wind like a coiled spring around your neck. “I’m more than willing to part with mine for a while, if I could have a guarantee she’d be close by. Used sparingly.” You don’t know enough about the army to know if Shiu Kong has the kind of strings that Geto’s presuming he has— but you don’t really dare complain. The silence drags; before it crumbles into pieces when a slight relaxation pulls at the older man’s lips, cocking his head.

“Have her stand.”

You do, spurred on by the quick pat to your thigh and a winning smile, eyes fluttering as you trace the patterns on the floor. As the presence of the older Alpha fills your senses and he circles around you too close, he smells of smoke and a deep, woody musk that could bring you to your knees if you weren’t so used to it by now. After a round where his finger patiently brushes past your most valued features, he takes your face into his palm and forces your eyes up. Until you can no longer ignore the handsome face ducking down to meet your gaze.

You whimper. Let your face get turned here and there before he takes the end of the cig from between his lips, and addresses you directly. “You got a name?”

“Y-yes.” You stumble out, basically whispering it when he stares like that. He doesn’t have a kind face like Geto does, you notice, more angular, stubbled, at least a decade older too. You find yourself reaching for Geto’s hand despite knowing better, if only to have something to cling to as you blink away nervous jitters, and excess tears that are always ready to spill. Your bare feet shuffle against the carpet below.

Whatever he sees staring back at him is enough for his fingers to drop to your collar, dragging it either side with a grunt. “It’s some skill to find an unmated, pretty, little Omega hidden from the commission, Lieutenant… One would almost call it suspicious.” There’s a hint of amusement, one he pushes out alongside the butt of the cig. As if he knows he’s in, Suguru stands from the chair to put a comforting hand on your back and rubs circles through the flimsy fabric of his oversized shirt, tucking his thumb into the loose boxers you’re wearing below.

“I just get lucky, Sir. Omega’s delivered to the commission lose their charm too quickly, s’all.”

Shiu’s eyes give you another slow up and down, then he clicks his tongue. “So, what do you want in return for this present?”

“Nothing at all, really.” The hand pulls you into his side to nuzzle along your neck for some extra show, where he nibbles at the sensitive spot— makes you whimper like a bitch in heat. It’s loud enough for the other man to eat you up whole with his eyes, puffing out his chest a little to push off the desk. The swift hand wrapped around you gives you an adoring squeeze, before Suguru pouts into your temple like he’s parting with a prized possession. “Just that I get her back once I’m done with my service at the front in a few months.” 

“Done.” Shiu busies himself with the bottle of expensive looking liquor, before casting you another glance. “Dress her in some actual clothes though, will ya? She already attracts enough attention as is.”

+

You stare at the fogged-up window with your duvet tucked to your chest, and breathe a few shallow breaths. There’s soldiers running up and down the camp, tucking their caps low against the biting wind. You only bother to follow one of them with your eyes, light hair peeking out from under the hat as he runs his laps. Instead of lingering on the thought, you shiver when a heavy, muscular arm pulls you around your waist and down into the bed. Shiu’s quick to let out a grunt, before opening his eyes and hooking his chin over your shoulder to nose at your neck. “You’re goin’ into heat soon?”

You barely dare shift when his stubble tickles your throat, and a few rough kisses get placed right over your pulse. “Probably. I-I’ll- ah-” His hand wraps around the base of your neck as he starts sucking on the sore skin, where bruises still sit from yesterday. You’re not sure if it’s his hands wrapped around your neck that caused it, or the way he bullied his cock way too deep into your throat— but you’re so sore. “I’ll need heat blockers for a while.”

“Mh,” he smells like tobacco. And a heavy, manly musk that’s so overwhelmingly Alpha. It’s distracting. It melts your tongue to the bottom of your teeth. “No need. We’re far enough away here that they won’t smell you. Or if they do, they can’t do anything about it anyway.” You blank, only to mewl and curl away when his lips and tongue rakes over a particularly sore spot, making your toes curl.

“But- b-but I,” you stutter, and one hand comes up to protect your scent gland from him as he gets up onto one arm to get on top of you. You haven’t gone through a proper heat in forever. It wasn’t ever safe even with just Beta’s around— you barely even remember what it feels like. Only that it hurts so bad it could make you sick. “But I don’t want to go into heat. It hurts.”

Shiu stops his barrage on your neck to frown at you, as he nudges your legs aside for his own thick thighs. One eyebrow raises at you like you’re dumb. “It doesn’t hurt when I’m here to breed you full, little girl.” He scans your face as he keeps pushing your one knee to your chest, before his mouth flattens out. “You don’t know that? You’ve never had an Alpha cock in here during heat?” It’s embarrassing. It’s so embarrassing— the way he eyes you like you’re some sort of idiot. It’s not like you had the privilege of trying it out before all this, hiding like a mouse. “Aw, baby girl. You’re so sweet.”

It doesn’t sound like a compliment.

“Daddy’ll have to teach you.” His large hand forces it’s way between your legs to squeeze your cunt and make you squirm under him, before he finally sits back and pushes the covers off, revealing the battle-worn body. “But not right now. Get up and go wash. We’re having company over.”

Your mouth’s dry, so you swallow tightly. “Who?” Your legs still tingle even when he gets out of bed, a little numb, a little achy.

“A… friend, I guess.” He picks out one of the cigarettes on the side table after putting on a shirt, and plops it between his lips. “You won’t like him.”

With sweat rolling down your neck, you stumble across the steam-coated tiles and grab onto the sink. Shaking like you’re ill. You definitely feel that way. It makes your entire skin feel statically charged, and sore, and so painfully needy. As soon as you take another step, you almost immediately topple over, legs trembling despite yourself. There’s no better sign than the dry feeling in your throat, and the way a whimper threatens to escape you with every move.

So you do all you can, and start tearing up as you wrap a towel around yourself. Even your own innocent touch feels too much, and you hurry through the process to barely manage pulling on a top and some panties, before your body refuses to oblige. You want to cry. Why did this have to happen now? Why here? Shiu hasn’t been bad to you, but he also isn’t particularly gentle. You didn’t want to go through heat at all. “Mh-mn, need- agh.” You whine thoughtlessly, as you wobble to the door.

There’s a swell of voices from down the hall— talking that doesn’t last long before falling quiet as you make your way to the bed. You’re so hot that it’s hard to keep your eyes open, your thighs rubbing uncomfortably as you walk. Thick, almost sticky tears wobble on your waterline, and the heat in your stomach sinks right into your center the more of the room you take in. It’s not your fault - everywhere you look it stinks of Alpha musk. Thick and overpowering to your flighty brain, it makes you want to keel over onto fours. You really are just a bitch in heat, and that is embarrassing too.

Makes you want to curl up onto a solid chest and let yourself get bounced onto his cock like a ragdoll.

It takes so much of your effort to drag yourself to the pillowed surface that you fail to hear the steps coming closer, let alone control that you’re scenting up the entire top floor when you crawl in and your pussy starts clenching around nothing. You’re mewling faint nothings as you stuff your face into the blankets— and smell only him. Heavy on your wet tongue. 

“Agh, I- Al-pha, I need- it hurts. It hurts, I want you~” With your chest to the bed and your legs raised up, you just feel like you need to— to get filled up to the brim to make this aching stop. “Mhmm-ugh, please, pleas- need you, Shiu~” Slick’s already coating your pussy enough to slip right in, wet like the spit in your mouth that gathers under your tongue. Your head’s so light. It’s spinning.

Then, a heavy palm strokes over your crown, and your noises explode.

“Ah, ah, agh, daddy, daddy.” The weight of the touch travels down your neck to grip you, and your body curls to raise your ass even further up in need of friction. “Daddy, please. I don’t want to~ T-told you I- need-ed blockers. Ah, ahh.” The low chuckle you get isn’t the one you expect, but you can’t open your eyes enough to see what’s going on.

“Bit friendly for a hello, isn’t it?” There’s a huge body that surrounds you when leaning over you, as lips travel down behind your ear. “S’cute though. That’s a pretty girl. Daddy’s here.” Rough hands push your hips down with one swift move, slipping two fingers under your panties to pull the fabric taut. The slick grinds the fabric uncomfortably to your cunt, but you can’t be still. “Already drenched through your clothes, pet.” You don’t mean to. You don’t, you’re so sorry. “Whining like a little baby, need to get filled up?” 

“Only thinking with this pussy, right? This is why Omega’s don’t run anything…” The lips ghost over your scent glands, making you squirm with dripping anticipation, when he lets his tongue run over his teeth and then along your throat. The juncture where your neck meets your shoulder, untouched and open and soft. He groans. “Ugh, fuckin’ hell, you’re so sweet. Your scent is almost making me sick.” One hand digs sharp nails into the meat of your ass, as the other reaches around to start pulling your camisole down over your sensitive tits. “Want some love from daddy, baby?”

A slightly raspier voice comes from somewhere behind you and drowns out your own whining and mewling. “I thought I told you to wait, Fushiguro.”

“Your pet was crying, Kong.” He rakes his teeth over that one spot again until you can’t stand it anymore, and your tears start dripping into the blankets. You push your chest out until his warm palm reaches around and squeezes, rubbing a thumb over your nipples. “Plus, just smell her. She’s scenting up the whole house. I wanted to come help.” After a long pause where you’re fighting the need to rub yourself on anything cock shaped like an animal— you’re turned over by a sturdy yank on your shoulder, and long fingers slide into your messy, drool filled mouth to press on your tongue.

Its Shiu, whose normally stern brow now is arched in amusement. The man on the bed with you moves away just enough to let you take a look, and take in the messy dark hair and almost metallic blue eyes, scarred face and dog tags hanging from his neck as he rolls onto his side. Shiu pinches your tongue to make you squeak, then leans in. “See you’ve already made introductions.” You mumble a pathetic ‘daddy’ under his sharp gaze, before he takes a deep breath.

“Poor girl, already going into heat? You didn’t last long. Needy, little pussy’s throbbing, isn’t it?” He pulls the top fully down until it’s hooked under your tits, then hums. “Look so cute when you’re begging to get fucked.”

“Gonna let me have a turn too?” Fushiguro rights himself onto one forearm, then pushes a finger down on your forehead until it's tilted all the way back and you’re looking up at him again. He’s got a mean sort of look in his eyes, right before his lips twitch when you groan softly at the touch. You literally can’t help yourself. It hurts so good— good enough to make you want to wrap your legs around either of their hips and stay there. Aches.

Shiu’s voice resonates through your body when he moves to kneel down to your body and starts kissing from your belly up, making you twitch. His gravelly hum reverberates in your clit, as your legs get spread over each shoulder when he comes up. “She’s not mine to give away Toji, so- ugh- restrain yourself a little.” His big hands smooth over your tits instead of squeezing you like you want, until you really start worming around under their touches.

“Mh~ hurry up!”

It’s out before you know it, and the backlash rushes straight to your cheeks in heat, burning up on your face. Fushiguro groans though, long and deep- before he pushes off the bed to get onto his knees, and grabs himself through the awfully casual clothing. His hand wraps around the large, large cock pressing against the fabric— and when you open your mouth and basically salivate at the sight- he lets out a lightly pinched chuckle. “Oh, you don’t wanna be doing all that, pet. You’ve got days of heat ahead of you— and you’re getting me hard as a motherfucker.”

All it’s doing is making you so horny you can barely see straight, and each inch of your body surges with electricity. You need something inside you. Now. Now, now, now. He runs a distracted hand through his messy fringe, and rolls his hips into his hand with a groan. “What’s it gonna be, Kong? If you take her underwear off I’m not leaving. Sweet, little thing like that…” Your legs are up by his ears when the familiar giant sits up onto the bed too, and your hand reaches for his to pull him closer by his thumb. “Haven’t had a greedy, fertile little Omega pussy in a while- the Commission always bitches I have too much fun.”

A hesitant furrow worms itself between Shiu’s brows for a bit, before he sighs. “Can’t bite ‘er, she’s not mine. I’m just keeping her.” His eyes are more blown out than normal, dark ring of black taking over the longer he touches you. You’re sure you’re similarly spent when you moan his name and he groans. “Fuck, baby. Want this Alpha cock in here?” His large hand smoothed over the supple skin of your lower belly, when you wiggle yourself against him, basically grinding onto his leg. “Needy, huh.” He licks his lips. “Fine, join. Can count us even after that.”

At that the other noiret grins, and pulls his shirt over his head in one swift move of agreement. Shiu’s hands already roam back over every bit of exposed skin. “And I get first turns.” The large fingers mindlessly playing with your nipple pinches you, when grayish eyes find you beneath him. “Get up.” With just a quick motion, you force your sluggish body up and onto fours— and fight the urge to force your head down yet again. That’s what would feel right.

“That-” Shiu’s hard too, you notice quite happily, when you grind back against him to find another thick, heavy bulge in his pants that heats your cunt. “That’s it.” You mewl, have no choice to. As you look back over your shoulder, he takes a moment to study you where you’re so much smaller beneath him. Omega’s always are, but these two are big even among other Alpha’s— more slick sticks your panties to the shape of your cunny. Your body’s entirely sticky with sweat, neck and throat aching and radiating heat all over you.

Your tongue melts in your mouth, when you look back and Fushiguro’s stripped down entirely— shredded body towering over you as well. He squeezes a rough ring around the flushed, pulsing head of his cock. “Uh, ugh-ah, daddy, daddy, daddy- Please? Please.”

“Who are you calling daddy?” The general asks sternly, but there’s no malice there. He’s amused as he peels the panties over the curve of your ass and down ever so slowly, letting your wet folds drip all over his fingers as he plays around in them. The touch makes you stagger forward, arms almost giving in— and you whine something unintelligible into the covers. “Fu~ck, you smell so sweet. Little Omega bitch in heat- ugh.”

A heavy hand lands on the swell of your ass, and stings so bad. With another spank your pussy clenches around nothing, and by the third you’re basically begging and your cunny’s sucking his fingers in. “A-daddy, please. Hurts. Uh-pu-lease. Need Alpha inside. Quickly, please. I-it hurts.” Another hand pets your crown for a few seconds, before he grabs a fistful of hair and pulls your head up. Your mouth hangs open, and your tongue drops out at the sight of the hard, veiny cock before you.

It’s flushed a sweet sort of pink, nothing like you can already tell Fushiguro is— but drool still gathers in globs, looking at the precum glistening on him. “Gonna open your pretty, little mouth wide for me, pet?” As he strokes himself, the man behind you starts toying his fingers around your holes, and smears your slick all over until you’re entirely sloppy. Then chuckles, throwing his head back with a grunt.

“Fuck, forgot how hard I get- with Omega’s.” The slick sounds of your pussy, and both men's hands stroking their swollen cocks makes everything so loud. Wet and needy and animalistic— your own whining drowning out your thoughts. You just want more. More touch, please. Shiu spits onto your holes without hesitation and slaps his thick, hot cockhead against you a few times, before placing one hand on the middle of your back to force you in place. “Don’t run away from me- jus-t take it.”

“O-oh-fu-ugh.” He pushes inside with more of his weight, thick thighs pressing up against the inside of yours when you spread wider, and almost get pushed over. If not for Toji holding you up and rubbing himself along your cheek and lips too, impatiently stroking himself.

The head’s already big, stings on the way in. Enough to hurt, enough to make you tear up. He’s just so thick and glowing hot to the touch— basically pulsing inside you. You can feel his heartbeat through the skin as the head pops in with a lot of pressure. Your throat starts making noises despite you. “A-agh, ugh agh, da-I- ca— um-hnggg.”

“My turn,” Toji grunts after a bit, hooking a finger in your cheek to open your mouth more and coach your tongue out. “That’s- a good cockslut— open wide.” You do, letting spit drip as you relax your jaw and wrap your lips around him, filling up your mouth too much. You’ve never been so needy. The choking and the taste only make your eyes want to roll back in your skull, giving yourself over to them. You don’t want to do anything except give yourself over, struggling to make enough space between your legs to allow Shiu closer.

“You’re so fucking tight, baby, uhh-fuck.”

He’s still going slow, necessity, as each inch of his fat cock gets stuffed inside you, using his fingers to push more into your comparatively tiny cunt— and each bit deeper he goes, the more you feel like melting. It hurts, hurts and aches and bulges your stomach; and Fushiguro pushes deeper and bulges your throat- and it hurts- It does. But you can’t stop. You reach your arms out to wrap around the man’s glutes and pull him closer into your face, drool dripping down your chin. “Mh-mhm mhhuh.”

With his tongue trapped between his teeth, he grins. “Hah, you’re talking a lot for someone with their mouth stuffed— Does that feel good? You like choking on Alpha cock?” Your teary eyes try to focus on him, but you can’t, just cling on harder as the cock inside you kisses your cervix and he’s still not done. It aches so much, stretching you much wider than you’re meant to go. But it does, it does, it does. You don’t want to stop. “A little longer, that’s it, a little more~”

Instead you try to hollow your cheeks around him as he sits too deep in your throat, and fight the urge to squirm when your breath starts to pinch. Your body worms, you cry around them, and slick drips down your thighs like syrup. When Shiu bottoms out, it actually makes you gag, feeling so full and spent— and you squirm as Fushiguro keeps you. “Mh-hh- hck.” Your mouth aches as your lungs start to scream, and vision goes blurry.

Shiu pulls back before the other man does, groaning at the sight of sloppy, milky slick coating his cock, then slides back into your warmth just as fast, forcing your body to stretch again to make room. T-too big. “Let her- hh- up, she’s turning blue.” As you’re basically about to pass out, you get pulled off of him and gag violently, before taking sniveling, painful breaths again. You barely get the chance to breathe before your chin is lifted again, and he tilts your face left and right.

Your mouth drops open again, and tongue squirms around nothing. “More? You want more, greedy slut?” He smiles again, but more genuinely impressed this time— and hums. “Such a good, little Omega.” You can’t help it, you shiver and moan when he lets you back at his cock. And Shiu pulls back again only to fuck back into you, forcing you open as he builds a rhythm.

“She liked that one. She’s trying to clench my dick off.” He moans, and his unoccupied hand swipes some wetness dripping down your leg to circle it around your puckered hole instead. “You think she can take two?”

The cock gets stuffed back into your throat, but he pulls back faster now, instead using your head to fuck himself into you as he groans. “‘Nuh uh, she can’t. She’s too tiny— L-ook, you’re already -fuck- bulgin’ er.” He watches your lips struggle to wrap around him as he fucks your throat— only stopping for a moment to wipe some of the spit off your face. “She likes it so much though, look at that. You’re just a dumb, cocksleeve bitch, right? Want Alpha cocks to fill you?”

You can’t answer. Your brain’s all scrambled from the heat, a cloudy, pillowy feeling sitting over everything else. It feels so, so good. Being stretched to your limit, getting used. Your pussy clenches uselessly around the too-big invasion, getting bounced against Shiu’s thighs with a noisy ‘pap, pap, pap’. If you could think, you’d agree though. The pressure of his cock grinding into your sensitive insides, basically lifting you off your knees as he grabs your hips to jackhammer into you deeper, it’s all too much.

“Close?”

You’re drowning in your own arousal. After a few more seconds of getting used for all your worth, the expanding, pulsing pressure in your stomach grows too tight— and your toes curl uselessly as you cum without warning. It shatters inside you as you fail to clench around the thick length in you, instead dropping though your arms as you pull off of the cock in your throat to tremble through your orgasm. “Ah-hgh- ugh ah da-Alpha, Alpha, ahh ah agh! St-hngh~” You cry. Thick tears, spit and snot get wiped into the covers as you try to catch your breath, while still being fucked into.

You can’t stop shaking. Even then, Shiu’s cock keeps forcing the head against your cervix and making your eyes bulge. “Oh fuck, fuck- too tight— shit, I was this close, hah.” When he slips out for a second, you collapse entirely, aching immediately at the emptiness inside you. Your tits are sores, but everything else is burning so hot you feel like you might go up in flames.

It’s Fushiguro who picks you up by your arms and pulls you into his chest after a while, holding your pathetic, naked body like a ragdoll. “So cute now that you’re all flushed, cumming like that. But you’re not done, are you?” His fingers squeeze either side of your cheeks to bring your mouth to his, kissing on you until you respond and let his tongue melt against yours.

Your head’s still spinning, but a different kind of heat grows now in the base of your neck, desperate and needy. Your hand reaches to get more, more skin, pulling at the short hair at the back of his head- you moan into the kiss. Tongues and spit mixing as it slides down your throat and he towers over you, cock bouncing against your stomach. When he pulls back, long lashes brush yours, and you whimper when the touch goes.

Shiu’s staring. You can’t tell what expression he has, but it’s enough to make Fushiguro frown and lift his lip. “Fuck off. I get protective when they whine like that, s’all. She’s sweet when she’s cryin’ all baby like.” He instead focuses on pinching and toying with your puffy nipples, rubbing each side with rough fingertips, then hooks his chin over your head to look past you. “Wanna try the two of us at once?”

Instinct gets the better of you, and you’re already nodding against his pecs before you can think. “Two, two- w-want, please. Mhm, want Alphas.” It makes both men laugh, hands sliding all over you as you stick your ass out and Shiu spits on his hand. His cock’s still coated with wet, a white, creamy layer around the base of his cock as he strokes the head a few times. You’re seeing double, and your tongue feels like molten candy. But still you keep drooling and nodding. “Want, want you, wanna have- m-more, please.”

He then grabs your hips to yank you back against his hips, letting his cock push on your ass as his wet fingers curl inside your puckered hole, and stretch it out with two fingers. “She’s already fucked out of her mind, poor thing.”

“Mhm, agh- Alp- daddy, daddy— s’ sensitive- please, please, please~”

Fushiguro’s face blanks, before he takes a deep breath and groans low and gravelly, and grabs you by the neck. “Ugh, she’s- her scent is everywhere. Little bitch in heat moaning like it’s her job.” He buries his nose right where the most sensitive, burning part of your neck is, making you crumple, and kissing along the shell of his ear where you can reach. The fingers inside you, the pressure and heat of the two cocks against you— everything’s making you crazy. You’re losing your mind, trying to hang on to him as he licks over the glands. “Want daddy, baby?”

Your head bobs like it’s disconnected from your longing, arching body. And you almost cum again on the spot when sharp canines drag over that spot. You just might.

A low growling sound makes you open your eyes. Shiu’s hand is between the face and your neck, much to the other man’s dismay. “I told you not to bite ‘er. Don’t care how much she begs- she’s not ours to bite.” There’s a moment of silence between them, before Fushiguro sucks his teeth in annoyance, before grabbing his cock instead.

“She is mine.” His large hand wraps around your arm, and pulls— but your other shoulder is still clamped in Shiu’s palm. Almost painfully tight, as a muscle twitches in his jaw. And the tension between them is making you clam up, but your body’s still aching too hard.

“Share, please,” you sweeten your voice as you press your lips to Shiu’s knuckles, then present yourself a little more and shake your ass against him. “Please, daddy? Want to be full.” It doesn’t take long for that same flush to travel back up his chest and cheeks, and his irises to get wider and darker again. “Full of Alpha cum, t-take all of you.” It’s with that that he wraps an arm around you entirely and pulls you up against his chest, placing his cock between your legs as he lifts your knees. “Ack- agh.” You mewl, and Fushiguro leans in for another kiss.

Briefer, but no less messy.

Shiu’s quick to press his own kisses to your throat, letting his stubble rub over your scent glands— with your pussy clenching in response. He rolls his hips against you a few times, then lines up with your ass as he groans. “Hold her legs.” You take a deep breath, and close your eyes as the cock presses to your ass, slick enough to push in with minimal effort. “Uhuh, there’s a good Omega.” As he does though, the space in your body is so full, you’re struggling to breathe. It aches enough to make you wilt and bloom all at once.

And then Fushiguro takes over on your pussy, and you cry out. Your hot cheeks are coated with tears, and your clit thumps with all the blood. It’s too much. You can feel both of them slide into you with painful precision, wetness spilling all over as you break out in cold sweats. But it- it feels so good. Fushiguro slips in a few inches at once, making your legs shake— before you dig your nails into his shoulder and your vision goes black. “Oh- fuck-f-fuck, cu-mming~ Agh- uhh nghn, oh god.”

The two men slide you down until you’re so full it feels like your insides are moved aside to make room. Like you’re about to tear in two, squished between two hot, solid bodies. Before Shiu groans into your hair, and lifts you up to slide you back down. And again, and again. Bounced on the two of them while slick drips out of you, and you’re creaming around them both. “That’s a- ugh- pretty girl.” Your orgasm barely pitters out before you’re cumming again, and you’re getting kissed on as you’re crying.

Not a single thought makes it though you. You’re clinging on for dear life. Only the heat between the three of you as you melt into a puddle.

You’re fucked until you can’t even feel your legs, let alone hear how you’re mewling and crying— like you might dissolve. But you do feel it when a tongue laves over your neck, and the cock pulsing inside you starts jack-hammering into you harder than before. Everything feels so- good- that you’re probably drawing blood into his shoulders, and the tongue becomes teeth. One second you’re floating, and the next the pressure grows too much— teeth break skin, and your pleasure becomes mind-numbing.

Fushiguro’s teeth sink into your shoulder deeper as he breathes you in, fucks his cock into your guts with the intent to stay. And the other man grunts, squeezing you tighter. But without thinking, he follows suit to bite down on the other side of your neck, letting you shake through yet another orgasm when the hot blood runs down your collar. You’re entirely spent, so there’s not one part of you that still feels the way Shiu speeds up inside your ass, before groaning out your name as he licks along the wound.

“Fuck, gonna- knot my girl. Fuck- ugh, ughuh— my baby, mine. Mine.”

It feels like you’re stuffed further than you ever thought possible, face dropping into Fushiguro’s chest when they slow down, and ropes of hot cum drip out of you despite the knots. Wasting it in a way that you’d savor, if you had any energy left. Instead you can only barely breathe, and rub your nose into your Alpha’s chest. It feels good. You wanna go again.

“Uh— my bad. I got carried away.” One of them sighs after a while, the rumbling of his voice rocking you to sleep.

“Yea…” The other responds, only the slightest bit guilty. “…Guess Suguru will have to learn how to share.” His large hand smoothes over your cheek, before stubble and soft lips kiss over the mark he’s made.

“But I don’t think I wanna share.”

All Rights Reserved © IWAASFAIRY 2024. Works are exclusive to this Tumblr.

[fastandcarlos]

On Cloud Nine : ̗̀➛ Carlos Sainz

summary: your hundreds of miles away when you get the call, desperate to be at carlos’ bedside as soon as possible

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liked by carlossainz55, ybffusername and 593,606 others

ynusername: new york, new york 🗽🍏

39,403 comments

carlossainz55: I miss you so much, hurry up home! 🩷

username1: these photos look amazing, new york is definitely my dream one day

charles_leclerc: hope you’re having the best time, btw carlos is definitely lost without you

carmenmmundt: I can’t wait to hear all about this when I see you next ☺️

username2: next time take me with you omg

landonorris: you’ll go anywhere to get away from carlos won’t you?? 😂

ynusername: @/landonorris don’t spoil all my secrets 🤫

carlossainz55: @/ynusername it all makes sense now 😂

username3: wow new york looks insane yn 🤩

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ynusername posted two stories

caption 1: get me home asap!!

caption 2: 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 738,504 others

ynusername: hi everyone, with carlos’ permission I wanted to share with you all that his operation this morning was successful and he’s recovering well. he also asked me to post a nice photo of him with this to remind you all just how handsome he actually he is 😂

I’m exhausted from rushing here, but just glad to be by his side as he starts the road to recovery 💞

78,503 comments

username4: sending carlos so much love - thank you for the update yn 🫶🏻

username5: poor carlos 😭😭

landonorris: tell me he still looks as handsome as ever to me!

maxverstappen1: get plenty of rest and see you back on the track carlos!

username6: only carlos would still care about his appearance despite being minutes out of surgery

username7: I’m just glad yn was there to be by his side for when he woke up 💞

username8: he’s got the best partner there to take care of him 🥰

alexandrasaintmleux: you guys know where I am if you need anything ❤️❤️

pierregasly: imo he’s never looked better 😂

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liked by danielricciardo, ynusername and 2,492,505 others

carlossainz55: thanks for all the support guys, pleased to say all is good and I’m recovering well so far. gutted to miss the race but I’ll be back on the track soon! biggest thanks goes to yn for dropping everything and travelling halfway around the world to be here with me - she makes a brilliant nurse 💕😂

103,592 comments

username9: how do you manage to look so good even whilst in hospital??

username10: we’re so pleased to see you’re on the mend carlos, take all the time you need 🥰

landonorris: stop flashing your stomach for sympathy 😂😂

username11: that looks so painful, hope you’re okay carlos!!

danielricciardo: made of tough stuff bro, see you real soon!

charles_leclerc: it’s not the same without you here 😭😭

carlossainz55: @/charles_leclerc do me proud my friend ❤️

username12: it breaks my heart seeing these photos

ynusername: couldn’t have timed this better, could you? 😂 just glad that you’re on the mend, ily 💞

carlossainz55: @/ynusername only thanks to you and the care that you give me 🩷

username13: don’t rush, take your time, your fans will wait for you!

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liked by pierregasly, carmenmmundt and 893,201 others

ynusername: carlos being at home resting has its perks 🥞🤩

39,124 comments

username14: stfu I’m so jealous

carlossainz55: you’re lucky I’ve got all this free time on my hands ❤️

ynusername: @/carlossainz55 turns out there are some perks to having your appendix taking out 😂

charles_leclerc: I’m already omw save some for me!!!

username15: welcome back boyfriend carlos aesthetic 🫶🏻

username16: all I want is to taste just one of carlos’ pancakes one day

alex_albon: next time we double date these have to me on the menu

ynusername: @/alex_albon there won’t be any complaints from me

username17: I’m happy to third wheel this date night btw

username18: THEYRE JUST SO FLUFFY

username19: @/username18 the pancakes or the hair???

username18: @/username19 EVERYTHING 😭

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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,859,120 others

carlossainz55: back on the course doing what I love, an easy eighteen holes 🏌🏻⛳️

49,604 comments

ynusername: um I don’t think this is quite what the consultant meant when he said easy exercise 🤔

carlossainz55: @/ynusername what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him!!

ynusername: @/carlossainz55 can’t wait to throw you under the bus at your next appointment 😂

username20: we always knew it wouldn’t be long before carlos was back playing golf

landonorris: if yn is that worried about you, I guess next time I’ll just have to come with you…to look after you ofc

carlossainz55: @/landonorris I’m supposed to be taking it easy, you stress me out 😂

username21: poor yn must be so stressed looking after carlos

charles_leclerc: of all the sports you choose to go and play golf 🙂‍↔️

username22: imagine telling one of the most active people in the world that they have to rest

username23: counting down the days until he’s back out on his bike 😬

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liked by alex_albon, ynusername and 1,695,207 others

carlossainz55: back to full power soon, stepping up the recovery and fully focused on being back in the car soon 💪🏻

50,402 comments

username24: gym photos of carlos never get old

username25: and there he is back on the bike again 😂

ynusername: hmmm this looks more like the exercise you’re supposed to be doing 🙄

carlossainz55: @/ynusername 😂��🤫

username26: if you need something to lift I’m happy to offer my services

landonorris: damn you’re putting me to shame sharing these carlos 😂

username27: I actually just squealed in excitement seeing these, now everyone’s staring at me

username28: yn is one lucky lucky girl wtf

alex_albon: ffs stop showing off how ripped you are

georgerussell63: at least go all the way and take the shirt off jeez

carlossainz55: @/georgerussell63 not all of us are as vain as you!!

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liked by ynusername, charles_leclerc and 2,403,705 others

carlossainz55: I should have more operations if this is what happens 😂 so proud to be p1 in aus, thank you for all the support ❤️🏎️

103,392 comments

username29: you’re a machine, we’re so proud of you!!

landonorris: booking an appointment to get my appendix taken out as we speak 🫡

username30: how do you do it??

ynusername: words fail me…you’re just the best 🫶🏻💞

username31: proud is an understatement to describe how I feel about this

danielricciardo: hats off to you sir that was one hell of a drive

charles_leclerc: I never realised I actually had a superhero for a teammate 😂

username32: this is the least you deserve after what you’ve been through

username33: to race like that whilst still in pain just blows my mind

maxverstappen1: huge congrats carlos, one hell of a race 💪🏻

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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 792,032 others

ynusername: on cloud nine ☁️ after the trickiest couple of weeks you come back and pull this outta the bag - I’m so proud of you my love! 🩷

27,493 comments

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˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[dreamesamu]

THE THINGS HE TAKES FOR GRANTED

in which he takes a moment to justify himself after never noticing your little crush for him

starring. akaashi keiji x fem!reader

genre(s): angst to fluff, (super, like-) long scenario 

warning(s): none, i think so? except for clueless keiji and not proof-reading

author’s note: akaashi is just a major green flag in this (every haikyu!! boy is 😭) i feel too bad to write them red-flag-y.

choose your character: m. atsumu | k. akaashi

you’ve known akaashi for quite some time, starting from your last year of fukurodani academy and then serendipity brought you both ended up being each other’s classmate at a same college/university. bokuto kotaro was your best friend, the little owl introduced his favorite setter to you and the friendship of three gradually become established, and as if it can not be any more inevitably, you eventually developed a secret admiration for the pretty setter when you three have been closed enough. however, graduating separated ways, kotaro pursued his journey to become professional in volleyball while keiji, once said to you he wanted a place in the literature department.

truth be told, even if you promised each other you would still keep in touch and plan every weekend friend group meeting online or offline, you’ve never expect you would share every class in higher education life with your crush, the akaashi keiji. the great thing is you both are paired up for an presentation assignment in the major you and him pursue, you do have plenty of time to stay close and grab his attention from making gestures that he usually failed to realizes.

here you are again, happily humming your favourite song while carrying a box wrapped with a small detailed towel, some big rolls of assignment paper stuck underneath your arm as you make your way back to where you both planned to finish the project - the library. 

“keiji, i’m back!” you set your things respectively on the table, and akaashi nods with a smile on his face in acknowledgement.

“oookay, so here’s your today’s snack, I hope you’ll like it” you grin, tapping on the box before pushing it to his side as he receives it and casually opens it while speaking.

“hmm? are those sketches of our poster? you can always edit them on the computer, why the effort?” he chuckled softly before completely unwrapping the bento box.

“I’m not good at designing and stuff. I may draw as I like and you’ll be the one to edit it on the computer.” you puff your cheek out, hands resting on hips as you watch his reaction to your delicately decorated sweets in the box made for him.

“this looks amazing.” he smiles upon seeing the pastries you made, decorated beautifully with different kinds of fruit as each pastry has different flavours, you probably did not stay up so late last night just to make all kinds of flavours for him to show how much you like him. yeah, probably not.

"oh, it's nothing, I just hope it doesn't taste bad" you chuckle nervously while scratching the back of your neck, letting his praise send you up to cloud nine.

your actions falter when you see akaashi put back the box's cap on, set it aside as he leans over to reach the posters you drew.

"now then, can we start working on the project?" he spreads out the piece of paper, glancing at you as you stand there awkwardly, prefer him taking a bite to look through all of your efforts than just shrugging it off and go straight to the main part of your study session.

"what...? oh- um..." you trail off, a bit embarrassed. "wouldn't you like to try one out? it won't hurt to just have a taste of it..."

"maybe later, y/n. we have other things need to be done right now." he merely states, eyes study the poster in front of him, unknowingly sinking your heart.

"yes, right." you shift slightly, taking the sit by the opposite of him, trying to catch up with him on the progress.

you let your mind wanders off how many times you've lost count already while akaashi quietly focused on scribbling something in his notebook, every thoughts you have are always about keiji, your feelings and the stare you give him thinking it's discreet. what's stopping him from trying my tarts out? and how does he feel being around me? or is that his way of rejecting something without making that person feel bad? flooded your mind.

"y/n?" you realize his faint voice ringing somewhere "y/n..." the voice becomes clearer. "earth to y/n, you're staring." awh, snap. right.

you blink, startled before clearing your throat, mumbling a small apology as you try to get yourself busy with the work underneath you once again.

but akaashi just chuckles, his voice calm and reassuring.

"hey, you seem off today. it's lunch break, please make yourself comfortable." you fumble at his words, it's noon already? as he collects his books and tidy it up at one corner of the table before speaking again.

"yuri satsuki is inviting me to have lunch with her. would you like to also join? i think she wouldn't mind." he kindly offers, probably not knowing the words struck you shocked.

you know satsuki-senpai, she's a year older than you and has been a social butterfly ever since you set foot in student life. she is a nice person, you conceived, but not until you found out that she has a huge crush on your akaashi keiji, her behaviour in your eyes became somewhat annoying. in return, she did realize she had a rival to win over him, you acknowledge that through the smug look she gave every time akaashi was around her instead of you, that is how the tension gradually builds up between you and your pain-in-the-ass rival.

and now she's even invited keiji for lunch? you feel an uncomfortable twist in your belly, screaming that if you do not take further actions, you lose akaashi to her. but his way of discarding your hard work, also known as an attempt to get his attention earlier discourages you hastily. this comes to a realization: ever since he start hanging out with satsuki-senpai, he has never touched one of your cooks once.

"no, i'm fine staying here. you go" you force a smile waving him goodbye. he hesitates upon seeing the downward trend of your mood as well as the strange attitude every time he brings up yuri.

"what are you waiting for?" you scoff, trying your best to make it sound not so bitterly. he nods quietly before ruffles your hair, thoughtfully remind you to get something to eat before start working again, and he'll be back with you soon.

you groan for the nth time in thirty minutes since his last leave, deciding not to eat anything at all after you laugh bitterly to yourself seeing the bento box laid cold by his stuffs which corrects your thoughts that he is not going to appreciate what you did for him.

the chair scraped the floor when you stand up, attempting to compose yourself when you feel your brain need a break from overthinking such situations.

on the way out of the library, your eyes meet yuri satsuki's, assuming that keiji is just somewhere around here as his lunch break partner is the person you least excited to bump into.

"well, well. isn't that the girl whose best friend choose to hang out with me instead of her?"

excuse me?

"don't get too ahead of yourself, satsuki-senpai. just a friendly reminder" your tone evidently irritated as you flash her an unamused smile, trying to avoid her as soon as possible.

but the radio scene of her voice replayed all over your head, your mind goes muddy despite the fresh air you're trying to take in, you let out a shaky breath, tears brimming out.

maybe, he doesn't quite noticed the things I did for him after all...

---

"you're back. where were you?" akaashi worried tone surprises you after a quite fine time of trying to find you because your study desk in the library was empty.

"i was... out for fresh air. why?" your voice is off and he noticed that. he always knew when something is bothering you, and right now he definitely know that something is wrong.

"after i finished my lunch i got yours, 'cause i know when i'm back you would still hadn't eaten anything." his brows slightly furrow seeing your avoiding attitude.

"thanks, keiji." you said briefly, take the package from his hand and sit down on your seat, never forget to notice the pastry box still intact.

your strange attitude didn't just stop there, it confuses akaashi for a more couple of days of your avoidance, he dislike the way you put a small distance between you both in study sessions, you flinch and tense around him more often, your answers and conversations are brief and sometimes awkward as you seem to be more preoccupied and attentive rather than to communicate with him.

"good morning, y/n." he smiles, your state has been bothering him for days as he is paying attention to your fade grin and a small "hey" as a greet back.

then he fumbles. something is missing...

oh. but then, realization sets in him quite quickly: you didn't bring any homemade sweets today.

"y/n..." he hesitates, meeting your eyes as you lift your head up from the notebook you're scribbling on. "does your home perhaps... out of ingredients or something?"

you are stunned for a moment, knowing exactly what he was trying to imply, scared to look at him directly in the eye as you shift your gaze elsewhere, pretending to have forgotten.

"oh... you mean the pastries... I forgot to do it. I was busy yesterday"

lies. he see through it, you know that, but you can't just blurt it all out that you're heartbreaking because of his indirect rejection that never says he doesn't like you, but makes you feel like it did.

"hey... i know something is wrong, can you tell me what it is?"

there it is - the worried look on such handsome face that never fails to make your heart flutter. but you know, that is just his nature of being an attentive and thoughtful person, not just for only you, but for everyone in his orbit.

so his question remained unanswered.

akaashi has been extremely distracted due to the sudden lack of your affection on him. it's just doesn't feel the same. even if he refuses it but deep down, he misses your midday snacks, your bubbly laugh around him and that flushed cheeks you wear every time he caught you staring. it has been a whole week since, and the fact that you didn't join the friend group video call with bokuto last sunday was his last straw.

he misses you, dearly. and if he doesn't do anything now before your project is finished, he might find it difficult to approach you even when you are his best friend.

and then, on an another lovely morning in the college's campus, an emotion he thinks he's aware of stirring in his stomach at the scene of you handing out a bento box wrapped with the same detailed towel, a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips as the other boy laughs lightly, scratches his neck, sending regards with a polite bow before making his way back in the classroom, akaashi doesn't like what his eyes have witnessed, so when he met yours, the bitterful look sends shivers down your spine.

you turn away, begin to walk, you do not want to deal with your bothered heart right now, not if it has anything to do with him, with that thought, you choose to neglect it because it is just your one-sided feelings for him.

but you hear footsteps behind, next is a small "wait" escaped from his lips when he managed to catch up and hold gently on your arm. that stopped you midtrack.

"please. can we talk?" he pleads.

---

you find yourself trapped by his presence in a corner of the school's library. there's no point in avoiding now.

"i'm sorry." he states. "i like you, i should've known."

your eyes widen. why- all of a sudden?

akaashi glances at you, softly sighs before bring your hand up to his face and kiss your knuckles gently.

"i understand now, i was clueless, you have the very right to be mad at me." each sentences he speaks crack your heart, but at the same time, they give you hope.

you neither know how to react, nor what to say, you just stand there, completely speechless, it encourages him to continue his speech of pursuing you.

"the last time i went to have lunch with satsuki, she confessed to me." he stopped, watching your expression. "but i turned her down, then, she got angry and started to brag about you. i did not like what she said, so i got quite defensive and... that was when i realised."

"i didn't know when it started. i just knew that i didn't feel very comfortable seeing you bringing your pastries that was meant for me to someone else, and more it's because i didn't appreciate it."

he squeezes your hand, afraid if not, you'll slip from his grip and become somebody else's apple. he certainly dislikes the thought.

"i want your pastries back, i love them as much as i love you. please let me correct such a terrible mistake."

---

"yes, hello. i've received the box, thank you, my love."

akaashi spins his office chair slightly, softly speaking to the phone stuck between his cheek and shoulder with a smile while unwrapping a huge warm box of freshly baked tarts.

"keiji, bad news, i'm out of powdered sugar after that batch." your voice echoed on output, he chuckles.

"are you free after work? we can visit the supermarket to purchase some. i'll drive, consider this a date with me, 'mkay?"

© 2024 dreamesamu. all rights reserved.

[andreawritesit]

can i request cregan and targ reader where he gets her a wolf and its all sweet and stuff ❤️

Fandom: House of the Dragon

Pairing: Cregan Stark x Targaryen Reader

Synopsis: You had been living in the North for quite a while now but nothing felt quite as welcoming as receiving a warm bundle of joy as a present.

It was not morning yet. Or perhaps it was. Wrapped in the dark grey clouds, the sun often played hide and seek in the Northern skies. It was difficult to tell what time of the day it was. You got out of bed and immediately, the sudden chill enveloped your entire body, down to your bones. Quickly grabbing the fur blanket from the bed, you wrapped it tightly around yourself. The cold was your worst enemy, your soul was forged out of fire after all. Even after an entire month, you still couldn't understand why your mother would betroth you to a Northern lord. You were the same girl on the side of whose bed she had spent countless nights awake. As soon as the weather became colder, you'd catch a fever. Throughout your childhood and even now, in your adolescent years, Rhaenyra has been on her toes constantly because of how the cold affected you. And yet she had sent you to marry Lord Cregan Stark. Why? That's not to say that your betrothed wasn't the most respectable man you had ever met. Cregan was cold and stoic as Northerners tend to be, but he was also honorable and extremely kind to you. As soon as you had arrived at Winterfell on dragonback, he had done all he could to make sure you were comfortable. He made sure you got plenty of warm clothes and furs and despite being the lord of Winterfell, he came to your chambers every day to see if you needed anything.

You had both decided that you would marry only after the war was over. He didn't want to tie you to himself knowing very well that he could die in the war and leave you by yourself. And you didn't want to marry him so soon either because you still wanted to partake in your mother's efforts to get her throne back from the usurpers.

You walked to the window and looked outside. Everything was covered in pristine white snow. It was so different from Dragonstone and Kings Landing. Instead of the hustle and bustle of the South, there was a calming silence in the North. Soon enough, the sun's rays began to pierce through the dense clouds, casting a golden hue over the snow-covered landscape. You couldn't help but smile at the view outside. The tranquility was suddenly broken by a soft knock at the door.

"Come in", you called, walking away from the window.

The door slowly creaked open, revealing the Lord of Winterfell. His tall and imposing figure was contrasted by a warm smile on his face, a sight you had come to cherish over the past month.

"Good morning Princess. I hope I didn't disturb your rest."

You shook your head, "Not at all, my Lord. I was already up." Your eyes went to a bundle of blankets in his arms. "What brings you here so early?"

Cregan's smile widened as he walked to where you were standing. "I come bearing a gift for you, my Princess." He stepped closer, revealing a small, furry creature nestled in the crook of his arm. "I hope this will make your stay here easier. He's a wonderful companion." He removed the top blanket a little and a small head peeked out.

Your eyes widened in surprise. "A dire wolf pup?" you breathed out as you reached to gently stroke his fur. "He's so precious and small."

"One of the she-wolves gave birth to many pups this morning. When I saw this one, I knew I had to give him to you." The dire wolf pup, with its striking blue eyes and white fur, nuzzled into your touch, eliciting a soft laugh out of you. "Here, hold him", Cregan whispered as he softly passed the pup into your arms. You cradled him close and looked up at Cregan, your heart swelling with affection.

"Thank you. He's perfect."

"Much like you", he said while stroking the pup's head gently.

"Is that why you brought him to me? Because he's perfect like me? Or was there any other reason?"

Cregan let out a small chuckle at your words. "It's one of many reasons I decided to gift this one to you. You see, just minutes after being born, he was already jumping around and causing mayhem in the yard. Reminded me of you and your dragon quite a lot."

You punched his arm lightly and a laugh left your lips. The pup nuzzled your neck and you couldn't help but giggle. Cregan's gaze softened as he watched you bond with the dire wolf. "He's strong and brave, much like you," he said, his voice filled with admiration. "I thought he could be a symbol of the North's acceptance of you."

You felt a rush of gratitude and warmth, not just from the direwolf but from Cregan's thoughtful gesture. He had once again won you over, something that had happened quite a few times already.

"I know it's not easy for you to settle down here in the North. But I'm grateful that you're trying and I promise you, I will take care of you. I will make sure you won't have to miss the warmth of your home. Winterfell will be your abode one day and I hope I will become your family, someone you'll be able to trust and perhaps even love one day."

You shifted the pup into your right arm and held Cregan's hand with your left hand. "You have no idea how much you have already done for me. When I first came here, I was a scared little girl who was being separated from her family but now I feel like I was always meant to be here, with you. I can assure you that I will also do everything I can to be there for you. I am ready, to accept Winterfell as my home and you as my husband."

Cregan's expression softened, and he squeezed your hand lightly. "I'm glad to hear that," he said sincerely. "I'm glad you came here."

"Me too."

Suddenly, the pup stirred, letting out a small, contented yawn. You and Cregan both laughed softly. The moment was broken but no less sweet. "I suppose he's tired", Cregan whispered as he covered the pup with a small blanket.

"Have you named him yet, my Lord?"

He shook his head, "No. He's your companion. You should name him."

You took a long look at the white fluffy ball of fur in your arms. "I'll name him Winter," you decided, looking up at Cregan with a smile. "To remind me of the kindness and strength of the North."

"Winter it is, then," he said. "May he bring you joy and protect you always."

Your heart swelled with emotion as you held Winter close. "He already has," you replied, your gaze locked with Cregan's. "Thank you, Cregan."

In that moment, the chill of the North transformed into the warmth of new companionship and a realization that perhaps your feelings for the Northern Lord had evolved into something deeper.

[moonstruckme]

Hi omg could I request Remus comforting insecure reader who makes jokes about her looks all the time and stuff and kind of tries to avoid talking deeply about it because it actually really hurts deep down but Remus wants to address it and when he talks to her she’s like “you wouldn’t get what it’s like to be ugly you (as in Remus) have always been beautiful” ? I hope that makes sense 😭Totally understand if you don’t want to write this!

Of course you can lovely! Thank you :)

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 884 words

Remus’ self control starts to fray when you discard your third outfit. 

It’s not that he’s impatient to get to the restaurant—you’ve both got plenty of time, and watching you try on clothes for him is a far from unappealing way to pass it. The issue is that you don’t seem to get how fucking phenomenal you look in all of them. 

“Oh my god,” you laugh, making a face at yourself in the mirror before lifting the top over your head. It’s tossed onto the bed, where Remus picks it up to put it back on its hanger. “That color makes me look sickly.” 

“Dove,” he reprimands. “It does not.” 

“Rem,” you mimic his tone teasingly. The late afternoon light filters through the window, and he honestly isn’t sure if the glow he’s seeing is from that or from the smile you give him. “I already look like this, I don’t need to accentuate it.” 

You do that. Self-deprecate. Like it’s anticipatory, like you’re in on a joke that hasn’t been told yet. It makes Remus’ skin prickle. 

“Anyway, I’ll be with you, handsome.” You set one hand on the bed and lean over to peck him on the lips. You take the top with you as you go, hanging it back up in the closet with a nod of thanks to your boyfriend. “I’m not aiming for mind-blowingly gorgeous, but I’d like to look at least remotely in your league, if I can.” 

“You always look mind-blowingly gorgeous,” Remus says softly. His chest aches with earnestness. 

You select a different top, tossing a coy grin over your shoulder. “Thanks, honey.” 

“No, really.” He feels suddenly hot with desperation. Remus doesn’t usually get in your way like this. You make your jokes, he disagrees politely, and he lets you move on. But the need to make you hear him, to talk until you finally get it, see how obsessed he is with you, has been building. If there’s one hill he’s going to die on, he wants this to be it. “You looked lovely in that top, and in everything. You’re exquisite, dove. Do you get that?” 

Your smile falters, and you turn away. You speak into the closet, over the schwick of hangers sliding. “Exquisite.” Humor bends the syllables of the word. “You’re too sweet. Careful, or you’ll give me an ego to eclipse the sun.” 

Remus wishes, but he seriously doubts there’s any danger of that. Your perusal of the closet picks up its pace, criticism a shadowy gray cloud above your head. He stands from the bed and steps forward to wrap his arms around your waist. You still, relaxing into him automatically. 

“I don’t understand why you have to deflect like that,” he says, doing his best to sound kind even as a protective ire burns fiercely in his chest. “You’re always making these cruel jokes about yourself, and you won’t listen when I tell you how wrong you are. Why?” 

“Remus.” It’s hardly a murmur, and yet the plea is clear. “Can we drop this, please?” 

Just like that, the fire in his chest is smothered. A dull ache takes its place. “Not if you’re going to keep doing it,” he says, kissing the nape of your neck. “Just tell me why, please.” 

You clasp your hands over his, seeking comfort even as you stiffen in his arms. “You wouldn't get it.” There’s no venom in your tone, but Remus hears the slight edge. “You don’t know what it’s like to be ugly, Rem. You’ve always been beautiful.” 

A laugh barks out of him, sharper than he means it to be. “I wouldn’t get it?” 

You’re quiet. He takes you by the shoulders, turning you to face him. Your eyes drop to his chin. 

“Do you really think I wouldn’t know how it feels to be insecure?” he asks. “Dove, I grew up with giant tears and scars on my face. People stare at me.” Your eyes flit up to his, shame and apology clear within them. When they go back down, Remus follows, ducking so you can’t hide from his gaze. “I understand that when you feel like something about you is ugly, no one can convince you it’s not. You have to do that on your own, pretty girl.” A flicker of emotion—discomfort, aversion, something else—passes over your face at the endearment. Remus has to swallow against the upset that clogs his throat. “But do you think you could try talking about yourself more kindly? For me, if not for you. It hurts to hear you being so cruel to someone I care about,” he says softly. 

Every line of your face is tense with discomfort at the topic, but you finally meet his eyes. Remus’ smile is reflexive. He’s not sure how you can find things not to love in this face so full of sweetness. 

“Sorry,” you say, sheepish. 

“Don’t be sorry.” He rubs your upper arms affectionately. “I know you don’t do it to spite me, darling.”

You bring your hands up around his neck, hugging him loosely. “You really are beautiful,” you murmur into his sweater. “With the scars, too. I’m not just saying that.” 

“So are you.” Remus kisses the top of your head. Someday, he’ll get you to believe it.

[mavnagerie]

big love

* luffy may be too experimental for his own good…

monkey d. luffy x reader

summary: the strawhats have stopped at an uninhabited island for the night and you and luffy go out for a walk. well when he goes gear 5 to get big so he can show you the island from above… things get freaky 🤓

warning: no proofread we die like men. this isn’t super long. pre established relationship (luffy x reader, slight zoro x reader x luffy). kinky; sorry. gear 5 luffy. GIANT! gear 5 luffy. holding you in his palm and having his way with you. cunnilingus and grinding. no dicks here today (aside from one mention at the end). public ish sex. (i might be forgetting something im just so exhausted)

authors note: requests are open

luffy was always a confident and kind guy, deserving of the honor that had been bestowed upon him when his devil fruit powers had grown with him as a person.. but now you’re sitting here, watching as luffy, exploring his new form, shifts his body like he had never had his powers to begin with. floating in front of the two of you, his hair moved like the clouds in the sky around his face.

lying on the deck of the sunny next to zoro, you both watched as luffy grew and shrank his arms and legs, but deep down luffy knew that he could grow to immense heights, big enough to hold the sunny in the palms of his calloused hands. he could jump kaido like jump rope if he so pleased yet he was sitting here playing with his limbs like a child playing with his toys.

sighing, you laid your head on zoros chest. “wake me up when he’s done dicking around and actually wants to relax” you mumble as you quickly doze off, a bad habit you had picked up from both zoro and luffy. sooner or later, zoro is asleep too, as luffy continues to goof off.

although you and zoro had been asleep, the rest of the crew decided amongst themselves that you would dock for the night on an island that seemed a little uninhabited, at least on the side you all had stopped on. although the sunny had plenty of food and resources for the straw hats, being on land for a night wasn’t always bad.

being hooked awake by luffy was one of zoros biggest pet peeves so he always shook you awake first so that you could wake up zoro.

“y/n… cmon wake up..” he shakes your arm, taking your hand and kissing it. “cmon!” he’s patiently waiting like an obedient dog as he hears you begin to stir awake.

“whats wrong luffy?” you blink your eyes at him before realizing the sun was sitting and you three were the only ones left on the ship.

“nothing princess, we’re stopped for the night. get up so we can go eat dinner” he smiles, nodding to zoro, asking you to wake him up. you can’t help but smile at his cute face before sitting up, leaning over zoro, finding his hand and gently squeezing it before shaking him just a little. you whispered to him before he woke up, groaning in your face.

“cmon get up big guy..” you smiled, kissing him before standing up next to luffy. you walked past him, he watched as the skirt around your waist formed to your body as you stood. before you felt his big hands around you, stretchy arms pulling you back into his chest.

“do i not get a kiss?” he looks down at you, with such a pathetic sad look on his face. turning around in his arms, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. zoro is now standing next to the two of you, looming over the both of you as you pulled away from luffy. you kicked your leg up as you popped off of your foot, going to grab a book before meeting the others to go down to the rest of the crew.

“you ready?” luffy commented as zoro had already made his way down to the camp site. you smiled as he grabbed you, using his stretchy arms to grab ahold of a tree before pulling you and him both down to land. doing stuff like that with him had always made you nervous but it was something about his hold on you, around your waist, that made you trust him.

getting down to the rest of the crew, they smiled at your presence. sanji asking you if you wanted anything, totally ignoring luffy and zoro. as you sat between the two, sanji only glared at them as he handed you a drink.

the night proceeded as usual, stories and laughs shared by the straw hats resounded in the pit of the forest right off the coast. the sunny bobbed in the ocean peacefully while the night grew colder. the fire between the 10 members burned bright but there came a time where they all needed more wood. while almost everyone had done a task beforehand , there sat you, luffy and zoro who had been the lazy ones upon the stop.

namis voice rang in your ears as you woke up from drifting off against zoros shoulder. “hey! can you and luffy go get some more wood??” she said looking down at the two of you. you blinked at her… she looked annoyed. ‘OH. luffy is being frustrating. got it.’ you connected the dots in your head as you sat up, nodding to her.

grabbing luffys hand, you just ran off into the forest. “come on luffy.” you groaned.

———————

the two of you had turned your little trip to the forest for wood into a romantic little walk, walking hand in hand until you were both sitting at a ledge somewhere on the island looking over the starry sky.

“the ocean is really calm tonight.. did we really need to stop?” your voice was soft, wrapping around luffy and holding him like a warm blanket. he liked hearing you talk, he loved listening to the words that left your lips like a king listening to the jester aim to amuse him. he didn’t have much of an answer so he just shrugged as he put his hand over yours.

an idea struck luffy and before he even remembered to say anything to you, he was standing again.

“oh are you ready to go back?” you looked up at him as he stood over you, steam rose from his skin and you already knew what he was about to do, scooting back a bit as his hair grew white and his clothes shifted with him.

“no, i wanna show you something.” he speaks through the clouds of his hair covering his face before they cleared. luffy transformation from regular old luffy to gear 5 has become progressively easier for him, almost on command at this point, so when he does this it’s nothing new but maybe seems like he’s showing off… which you didn’t mind. you liked seeing your beautiful captain all confident and happy, but sometimes he took advantage of how much you loved seeing his confidence.

beginning to stand up to let him show you whatever he had planned in his head, you watched as he got a running start, throwing himself off the side of the ledge.

“LUFFY-“ your voice escaped you in a worried shout before you watched the ledge, a gasp leaving you as his body grew past the size of ledge. his feet planted in the ocean as he grew larger than life, towering over you like a skyscraper. you were speechless, knowing he had this ability but barely able to fathom the idea of him being this big.

he crouched down, waving at you with a big smile. “luffy!!” you shouted, grinning ear to ear despite the shock in your voice.

“what princess??” he speaks, lowering his tone so he wouldn’t be so loud to you or frankly, the rest of the island.

“you’re so…” you laugh before he reaches his hand out.

“big? i know!! now get on, i wanna show you the island” his hands were out in front of you, cupped together like a landing pad just for you. as you stepped onto his fingers, you roll into his palm with a small “uph” as he cups his hands around you, cradling you so you don’t fall.

you pull your long skirt back down your legs, covering them as you find a comfortable place to sit in the dip of his large hands.

“you’re so cute, princess” he smiled down at you before standing up again. he could see the sunny from this side of the island, he was sure they could probably see luffy from over the treetops if they stood on the sunny but regardless they were clueless to his gargantuan form. the sun had long set over the horizon so as the stars dotted the skies, luffys smile seemed to beam brighter. he held his wrists close to his chest , opening up his palm so that you could see the island from above, watching the sea from high up as well.

“isn’t it so cool?” he smiled, watching as you observed in awe.

“is this really what you see?”

“always..” he smiles. bending his finger back to you, you placed your hand on his fingertip, holding it while you stood up. he watched as the skirt around your legs shook with the wind, observing your hair and how your eyes glowed under the stars. standing there in his hands, he brought another finger up to your stomach, tickling you, wanting to hear your laughter. you buckled over giggling as his fingertip pressed against your belly.

“luffy quit!!” you giggled as you feel back into his hands. he then lowered you closer to the ground again, leaning down into the water, sitting down with you in his hands. he grabbed you with one, holding you gracefully between his fingers, the meat of his middle finger pressed right between your thighs. a sigh left you as he held you there, holding his finger out to you with his other hand.

his ears almost perked up at the noise. “what was that??” he teased. your face was flushed. “n-nothing!” your face was flushed, getting embarrassed. but his hair billowed around his head as he got a little excited, wanting to hear that precious noise again. a noise neither him nor zoro ever heard enough. “cmon.. do it again!” he whines cheekily, moving his finger underneath you again, hoping you’d react. you held in your voice to spite him, although your face did nothing to hide the pleasure growing between your thighs.

“it’s like when you ride zoros thighs..” he mumbles, watching as you succumb to his wangs and begin idly to grind yourself on the space between his knuckles. he uses very delicate touches to take the fabric of your skirt between two of his fingertips and pulls it up, wanting to watch as your panties dampened with pleasure. you began to fold to him, scared of his size due to luffys recklessness but he began to prove to be just as gentle when he’s 20x your size than he would be regularly.

“is this okay, princess??” he thought he’d ask just in case, even though you’ve become to seem like you’re enjoying yourself. your hands now planted on his finger, grinding up against him.

“yes luffy…” your voice escaped you in a moan , noticing as he moves his fingers in order to pleasure you.

luffy relaxed, watching as you let yourself go, grinding against his finger as you’d do to his thigh in the past. he used his finger tip from his free hand to lift your chin, wanting to see your face. seeing how your lips parted, your tongue resting on your lower lip as you panted through your moans, feeling almost helpless to his gaze.

“cmon princess.. cum for me” his breath was warm, arousal spreading in a dark flush across his cheeks. he noticed your grinding was becoming more sporadic, as your moans grew louder, crying out for him while rubbing your wet pussy against him. his name poured from your lips as you came, falling forward onto his finger while writhing against him. your hips pushing against him as he placed another finger over your back to keep you stable.

as you recovered from your orgasm, you sat up, with his finger still between your thighs. he took his other hand, grabbing you gently before placing you back on the ground, close to the ledge of the cliff.

“you’re so cute..” he mumbles, petting your hair back gently as he sank down further into the ground, being closer to you. his nose close to your face. your eyes were lidded as you stared up at him, wanting to grab his nose in an endearing sense but still being clouded by arousal.

“can you eat me out?” you asked, bluntly, knowing what you wanted from him but not knowing any better way to ask.

“like this?? giant and all??” he tilted his head to the side, not even really realizing you’d want to keep going.

“mhm” you hummed, your face pink with embarrassment, taking your skirt and pulling it up, exposing your panties to him.

“i can try, but i don’t wanna hurt you, princess” he plants his hands down next to you, his fingers caressing your skin from your stomach to your legs. he watched you intently as you slowly pulled your panties off. the pad of his thumb found your pussy, rubbing over it, watching as it glistened under his finger. you bit back a moan as his aimless touch sent a shock through you.

“fuck” he mumbles to himself. “you’re so small..” he knows how delicate you are, how he can just hold you in the palms of his hands. how any movement could hurt you so he had to be gentle. no foreplay could’ve prepared you for his tongue against your pussy.

leaning in, you watched as his warm mouth opened, his tongue falling against your wet pussy. warm and rough, rubbing perfectly onto your clit. the noises leaving you were perfect as he squeezed his fingers around your thighs, holding them apart so his lips can close around your mound, sucking and licking at anything he could.

his name fell graciously from your lips as he stimulated your clit, pressing his tongue as precisely as he could against it, humming so you’d feel it. this caused you to jolt, resulting in him pressing his finger tips against your hips in order to keep you down.

“fuck nothing will ever top this, luffy..” you whined. luffy knew how good zoro could fuck you, how good he could fuck you. and this was an ego boost. knowing you were coming up on a loss at words as his tongue throbs against your needy clit. you watch as his lips pull away from your mound, his tongue finding its way to your hole, teasing you.

luffy licked at your folds like a dog on a hot day licking at its water bowl. what would’ve been kitten licks in his normal size were almost orgasm inducing swipes across your clit. you were in desperate need of being filled by something by the way your pussy clenched around nothing, throbbing.

“you’ve been such a good princess” he speaks softly, praising you after your moans and cries blessed his ears once more. “you wanna feel me inside, don’t you..” he grins cheekily, watching as you nod, your cheeks red and your eyes lidded. you just needed your pirate king…

his tongue narrows, pressing the tip of his tongue to your hole, pushing past your folds as he tasted your pretty cunt.

“oh luffy..” you sighed as he filled you out. your hands held onto his fingers that wrapped around your thighs. holding onto him tight as you ground yourself onto his tongue. you babbled as his tongue moved inside of you. gentle for him but rough for you.

he could feel your tiny hands gripping around his fingers just a little harder. your eyes almost squinted shut as you watched him close his mouth around your pussy again, sucking in so he could stimulate your swollen clit.

you could feel yourself coming close as you continued to grind helplessly on his tongue. his name was slurred in your words as overstimulation and his warm tongue mixed together to create a perfect storm off the side of this islands cliff.

“f-fuck.. luffy i’m gonna..” your head tilted back, hitting that peak. “fuck i’m gonna cum..” you could hear him but especially feel him as he hummed against your pussy, acknowledging your words. he pulled you closer against him with ease, stuffing you as full as he could get you, without breaking you open.

sucking at your clit, you felt that winding knot that had been building and building break, snapping into a million pieces are your back arched off the ground, crying his name into the forest as you came on his tongue. he groaned happily around your pussy, watching as you writhed against him. slowly he pulled away, watching as you begged for him to stop overstimulating you.

he was slow to pull his tongue away from your drenched cunt, watching as a string of his spit connected to your wet cunt. he left a quick kiss to your wet pussy before finally letting go of you. he rubbed his thumb over your belly.

“you okay, princess?” he asked, watching as you slowly relaxed again. you had covered your face when releasing his fingers, you uncovered your face as you looked up at him, nodding.

“w’so good..” you mumbled, your cheeks flushed. you watched as your precious man had began to shrink back down to his normal size, holding onto the cliff so he could throw himself back up to your level.

once he had done so, his hair began to steam again, turning back into his normal self, while he found you on the ground, pulling you into a kiss. “you did so good for me, princess. we should do that again some time.”

“we should” you smiled against his lips, your fingers in his thick black hair, pulling him in again. “you’re rock hard right now though, i can feel it against my leg..” you giggle.

“i am. i wasn’t going to say anything though, i knew you’d be tired.” he shrugged.

“don’t worry baby, i’ll take care of it. just give me a few minutes and i’ll let you fuck me.” you smiled as you moved to kiss his neck, tasting his salty skin against your lips.

“i love you, luffy.” you leaned back to look up at him with a soft smile on your cheeks.

“i love you too, princess”

[raayllum]

a/n: set after 6x06 and heavily references 6x03 bc they were blessings

Sometime after they stop kissing — alright, they don't really stop, but languid silences, soft giggling, and sweet nothings fill some of the space in between kisses as they curl up together on his bed in the Starscraper — Callum asks, "So, what were you crying about on the Ray of Illumination?"

The sun is rising above the sea of clouds outside their bedroom window, and for a moment he regrets bringing up anything potentially sad, both of them happier than they've been in years, honestly. They have everything they need for her parents, his connection to Aaravos has been severed, the light and truth of her love filling the cracks in his heart, instead, and finally, finally she knows that his heart has always belonged to her. That it always will.

But he's always been curious, and he's always wanted to sooth whatever's troubling her, fix whatever is breaking her heart, and she'd had a good deal to cry over just a couple weeks ago — maybe even something from the last two years apart — and... he wants to know. He wants to help.

And, slowly, he thinks she's getting to a place where she wants him to be able to, where she'll let him.

"Oh, um..." Rayla averts her eyes, fingers tangled with his, but her smile doesn't dim. She sticks her tongue in her cheek. "It's a bit silly, really."

"Still." He uses his free hand to brush his thumb over the curve of her cheek, the blue bend of her marking, where he knows the tears would've fallen.

"Just an old diary written by the captain. Esme something. Stella pushed it open." Rayla scoots a bit closer and Callum lets go of her hand to wrap his arm around her, more than happy to give into her desire to be held; he never feels more at peace than when he's holding her, now more than ever.

The bump of the tip of his nose against hers as a gentle prod. "And?"

Rayla turns her face down, his lips brushing her brow, but he can still tell she's worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. He wants to angle his face down and kiss that worry away, draw her lips to his, but refrains. They have plenty of time, after all. To kiss, and rest, and prepare for their journey. It's close to dawn now, and Callum knows they won't leave till the day after tomorrow at least — they need supplies for the journey to the Nexus, recover from their trials, and to say goodbye to their new friends here.

Finally, Rayla explains, "She was writing during the last days of her life, on that ship I guess. About a man she left behind. Her one true love, Conrad."

"Oh." Callum pulls her further into a hug on instinct, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Just... resonated with me," she nearly sniffles, laughing weakly, but her smile is real and reaches her eyes when he glances down to check. "I'm sure you can imagine why."

"Lots of stuff about what she would've said if she saw him again?"

"Mmhm."

"Think I can relate to that too," he hums, giving her forehead another kiss. "I love you, Rayla," he repeats for what might be the millionth time that day, but he already knows he can never say it enough. He's always known that. "I'm so glad you came back."

She wraps her arms tighter around his torso, cuddling in closer, tension ebbing out of her and face half pressed to his scarf. "I'm so happy you're here, Callum," she sighs warmly.

"Always." He strokes her hair, wondering if she'll fall asleep like this—it always got her a little drowsy in the past—or if she'll let him weave her braid for her one of these days, musing, and then... "The Captain's name wasn't Esmerelda Skall, was it?"

Rayla lifts her head, brow furrowed adorably. "Er, yeah, it was. Why? How do you know that?"

"She was a famous explorer in the Human Kingdoms. Charted out a lot of our maps up north. My Dad—King Harrow—took me on a diplomatic mission once to Del Bar, where she's from, when I was eleven or twelve." There's a warm, content feeling blooming in his chest that he'll get to give her closure on this, too, somehow. "Conrad founded a town near the capitol and served as mayor. He named it after her. He loved her all his life—put a grave marker for her next to his when he died and everything."

Rayla's "Oh" comes out choked and small, but her smile is wide as she blinks back tears. "That's—that's beautiful. I guess he really—"

"—loved her?" Callum finishes, curling two fingers under her chin to lift her face for a moment. Then he brushes away the real tears trickling over, drawing her further into his snug embrace. Her breath is beautifully warm as it fans over his lips before he kisses her, soft and firm. "Yes. I really do."

[kanmom51]

Are you sure? Jeju - Episode 4

The Pool

Honey's I'm back. Been to the edge of Australia, literally, and back.

Finally watched the episode, and oh boy, there is so much to break down, isn't there.

I won't lie, I've seen so much talk about EVERYTHING here on Tumblr and on X, and I really am joining this party super late. But I will be posting here for the fun of it, cause it's never enough, right? And also maybe I can bring some of the moments together, for points to be made, Idk. I just hope I can manage to get some posts done before the next episode drops, cause there is really so much to unravel here.

Out of everything that went down I thought I'd start with JM and JK's pool party fest.

They return from dinner, where they let Tae know he's a guest on THEIR show once again (and I mention this just because those two just don't stop reminding us and him of said fact, lol) and decide to go into the pool to cool down.

JK looked like he needed a bit of cooling down when JM was undressing next to him.

It was just the two of them, Tae not joining.

JK is in first and JM following, entering and moving towards JK with a LOOK on his face. A LOOK that had JK finding the need to remind JM that the pool wall was glass and see through.

There is no way under the sun that JM's intentions were pure at this moment.

NO WAY!!!

JK knew it.

You gotta be daft not to see it, especially with that man's reaction to JK's comment.

And it's funny, cause it's not like JM didn't see that glass pool wall before. It was just JK's need to remind him off it that makes it so much clearer he was up to no good, lol.

Did you notice how the footage cuts at that moment? I guess we are already used to these cuts, right? There are PLENTY of them in this episode as well. Don't get me started on the before shower, during shower and after shower that night, lol.

Right after that cut we go into Jikook playful mode.

We don't know just how much time they spent in that pool, but we got close to 4 minutes of it. Clearly they were there for some time, we got to see some highlights. The PG version of them playing around in the pool.

It amazes me every time when I see just how in sync those two are with each other. And we got to see it here as well. I mean, we saw it right through the episode. Remember in part 2 of my Jikook in bed (AYS CT) when I mentioned JK was just being with JM when he was just resting his head on JM's thigh? Well, I believe that word is so appropriate for this episode as well.

BEING

Just the two of them.

Even with Tae there with them, it was just them being with each other. With the mundane and everyday stuff.

It's the checking in on each other (for example when JK was getting excited over the food in the Japanese restaurant and JM checks in on him, or when he hits his fist on the table in the chicken restaurant and again, JM checking in on him, or JK just rubbing JM's thigh in the restaurant in episode 3 knowing he's not feeling the best).

It's the making joint decisions - what to eat, when to eat, what to do, when to go to sleep.

It's the calmness. Just calmness in their interactions.

It's them knowing what the other is feeling or meaning, at times without even speaking.

It's them playing around with each other when others don't even understand what's going on (Tae on the boat not getting their playfulness or sense of humor).

It's their constant hyping each other up or complimenting each other.

It's them finding solace in each other.

It's them cuddling watching the sunset.

It's them finding figures in the clouds and drawing them.

It's them hugging while snorkeling.

It's them seeking each other out while snorkeling, wanting to share the experience with the other, share the fun.

It's them sharing their solo music and choreo with each other before it comes out. Spending their time talking about each other's singing and dancing.

It's them being super flirty and talking with underlying innuendos through out their conversations.

It's them just BEING with each other.

I will most likely be writing much more about this, probably small posts with these special moments, but I just had to mention this here as well. Because this here, their time in the pool, was one of those moments as well.

They just click.

And it's so damn loud just how special they are with each other, how different they are with each other.

Saying that is not about diminishing what they have with the other members, because we all know just how close they are with each other, all 7 of them. They are bandmates, they are good friends, they love each other. But let's be realistic here, with all of that, the level of their friendships, the depth of their relationships with each and every one of the other members varies. it's just how it is. Real life, you know. And saying that JM and JK's connection is different and showing how it's different does not diminish from their connections with the others, it just highlights THEM.

And as such, I don't cower away from making these comparisons, because they are part of what screams that the two are a couple. There are things you do with your significant other you don't with your good friend. There are ways you behave with said significant other that you won't with your good friend. There are things you will allow your significant other do to you, do with you, that you won't allow with a good friend. It's the way you communicate with your significant other, things you say, things you don't say, things you don't need to say, tones you use, all of which you don't do with a friend, no matter how good of a friend they are. That's life. No reason to shy away from that just because there are some people that will take it the wrong way.

JM and JK in the pool was just that.

When you know you know.

They were playing games with each other.

Btw, I'm gonna say it even though you have all probably noticed this already, but JK, he doesn't push JM in that game. Not one time. And it reminds me of previous times they've done this.

More games.

then for Tae's benefit.

They were being playful with each other.

They were having fun with each other, just BEING.

Doing THEIR thing.

Jjust clicking.

Being absolutely the cutest EVER possible.

And they can't be Jikook without their signature "You are me I am you", right?

This whole sequence reminded me of the last time we got to catch their late night playfulness. You know, the whole mosquito net debacle, lol.

Only this time there was no alcohol involved and they fully aware of the cameras filming them, lol.

And before all those that happen to be lurking here waiting for me to say something to latch onto start celebrating "she said it", I say calm your farm, because NO SHE DID NOT. Them knowing the cameras are there and having fun TOGETHER, at times posing for the cameras, hence doing it for us to see, takes absolutely NOTHING from it being an authentic and spontaneous interaction.

I can't believe that I actually have to explain this.

Did I mention how many times those two reminded Tae and us that he's a guest on THEIR show?

"The guest is coming"...

"He must be bored and wanting attention"...

"He must be lonely..."

And this is for our benefit? Or their own, perhaps, lol.

"He's the guest... guests can comb their hair...guests should be pretty..."

And then the editors chime in as well.

I guess it was super important to drive this point right home just in case there were those that still didn't get it.

This show, it's JM and JK's. Period.

Tae = guest.

And he is sure going to be reminded of that by both of them throughout the trip. He is, and so are we.

And what about JK leaving the pool only to jump in again ("it's cold") to climb out again with JM?

Again, one of those "we do things together" of theirs.

All in all, the episode was friggin amazing. If there was anyone who for some reason (delusions, for one) thought that Tae being there with them will take away from us seeing just how JIKOOK those two were, or that JK would show his undying love for his husband and father of his children (🤮🤮) that sure was a hell of a rude awakening for them.

The interactions were as clear as day. And very telling. As per usual and as I had said in the past, if anything then JM is the axis with JK and Tae circling him, biding for his attention, JK knowing everything there is to know about JM while Tae needing to say just how much he knows JM. And if we're on the subject of Tae wanting to tell us just how much he knows JM, what we also got to see is just how much Tae and JK don't know about each other (Tae not knowing JK doesn't drink sweet drinks before eating or JK not knowing that Tae has been struggling with sleep lately), again, as a stark difference to JM and JK's abundance of it (JM knowing JK hadn't slept on the flight back prior to their trip, JM singing 3D).

I have so much more to say, but I'm going to stop right here, leave some more to talk about later.

[cloudshapedpatch]

Burgers and Lilies

Reth x Reader one shot

(canon compliant, no spoilers, ft. Shepp!Hassian)

Rated Teen for some spicy stuff at the end ;)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Y/N’s hands were steady as she pulled the arrow back, feeling the pull of the bow deep in her shoulder, just like Hassian had taught her. The wind was gentle, rustling her hair and the grass gently as she focused on her prey. She knelt there, still as a tree, lining up the shot. The unsuspecting chapaa wouldn’t feel a thing. 

She heard a rustle in the grass behind her, and the chapaa must have heard it too, because it perked its ears, chirped, and ran in the opposite direction. 

“Sorry.” She heard a sweet voice behind her, and she could never be mad when he sounded so genuinely remorseful. 

“Its okay, Reth.” Y/N lowered the bow and put the arrow back in its holding case with the rest. She stood then, and turned around to face him with a smile. “There are plenty of others.”

Her smile only grew wider as she saw the picnic basket he was holding, and he held it up a little higher as he spoke. “When you didn’t come in for lunch like you usually do, I figured you were lost in the hunt again.”

“I never know how much time has passed when I’m out here.” Y/N said sheepishly. 

“I know. Should we sit?”

“Don’t you have to get back to the Inn? The dinner rush will be starting soon.”

“Ashura told me to take my time.” Reth was already getting comfortable in the grass, so she followed suit and watched him take out the sandwiches carefully. 

Y/N was glad for Reth’s company. Reth had been one of the first people she properly met after materializing in the ruins. She didn’t know much about what was supposed to be normal for humans, but she figured by how Jina, the resident Human Expert, had reacted, it wasn’t normal to appear in a cloud of pink mist and sparkles. At least, that’s not how the Majiri operated. Most of what she had learned about their way of life had come from Reth and his sister, Tish. They had taken a special liking to her almost immediately. 

“Copper for your thoughts?” Reth said, with his mouth full. She smiled at his boyish nature. 

“Just thinking about how much has changed for me since coming here. I’m sure my life before was very different than this.” She could tell this from a number of signs. Her hands had been soft, and her arms lithe when she first came into Kilima. Her body had not known a day’s work like she had grown accustomed to. Y/N’s hands were worn and rough with calluses now, and her muscles, while not much compared to Sifuu, were still visible. And she could run faster and farther and haul sernuk much easier now. She was sure the magic pack Zeki had given her, plus Kilima’s fresh air and pleasant weather was helping as well.

He nodded thoughtfully, considering his words before speaking. “Have you ever thought about what your life was like before? Not just human life in general, but yours specifically?”

She had heard the word ‘memory’ before, and while she was sure she had some memories, they were not the kind Reth was talking about. Like she could remember watering her plants this morning, and she could remember shooting her bow for the first time. But these memories were vivid in her mind, having been so recent. She was told older memories got fuzzy with the passing of time.

“I have.” She said shortly, not feeling like she wanted to get into it. “I really like my life now, though.” 

She leaned over and nudged her shoulder against Reth’s, pushing him slightly. He exaggerated the gesture and dramatically fell back into the grass. She placed her sandwich down on top of the basket and laid next to him and looked at the clouds. 

She could feel an uncomfortableness radiating from Reth, though, like he wanted to say something but was holding back. Turning her head to look at him, she found him already looking at her, and he quickly looked up and away. 

Reth was… something. She wasn’t sure what this feeling was in her chest when he was around. It was different from the feeling of wanting to gossip or craft with Tish, or the feeling of wanting Hassian to be proud of her for hunting a large animal all by herself. It was deeper, and made her anxious, and made her feel warm all at once. 

Like she needed Reth to understand her, deeply, deeper than she knew herself. 

She was sure this was a purely human emotion, because Reth always seemed calm and collected. At least, now he did. When he had first spoken to her, though, he had tripped over his words greatly. 

“When I first met you,” he started, seeming to read her thoughts, “I had never seen a human before. And it surprised me.”

She let that hang there for a moment, feeling like there was something he still wasn’t saying. “What surprised you?”

She was still looking at him but he was none the wiser, his eyes locked on the sky. His cheeks slowly darkened to a magenta color. 

She felt something soft and gentle on her fingers, and upon looking down she found it was Reth’s own hand, slowly sliding in the grass closer to her own. She took in a quiet deep breath to calm herself, even as it felt like pure Flow was shooting up her arm at the contact. She was very confused, but allowed him to take her hand in his and intertwined their fingers. She didn’t understand the purpose of it, and yet she found it was quite pleasant and didn’t want to let go. So she relaxed into the grass, and gave his hand a small squeeze. He reciprocated the gesture, finally turning his head to look at her. He smiled at her then, a wide smile that made her toes curl in her boots and ingrained itself in her mind. His eyes sparkled in a way she had never seen before. 

Y/N looked away first, pointing out a cloud that looked like a star. Reth chuckled and squeezed her hand once more, agreeing with her, before he suddenly gasped and sat up, looking towards the basket. 

“Oh! I brought you something. Caleri waived my late fees so I could bring you this. I’m lucky she likes you so much.”

He handed her half-eaten sandwich to her, which she took another bite of as he opened the basket and produced a book, handing it over. Y/N sat up as well, taking it from him gently. Their hands touched briefly, and a burst of warmth blossomed in her chest. Ignoring it, she studied the strange writing on the worn red cover. It looked like English characters, but it was too worn to make out the words on the cover.

“You found this in the library?”

“I know, right? In the small Human section. I think it’s a cookbook. Look inside.”

She looked at him and shared his excited smile, then opened it to a random page. The pages were old and stuck together, and made a pleasant crackling sound as the spine expanded. Near the middle of the book, at the top of the page, was a full color picture of a cooked dish. It looked odd, it was a stack of bread and what looked like vegetables and meat. The writing at the top of the page read Burger.

Reth peeked over her shoulder, scooting closer to get a better look. Their legs were pressed together as he mouthed out the foreign word.

“Bur-jer.” He said confidently.

Y/N repeated the word. Jina would get a kick out of this. She wondered if she had read this book. She must have, but then again, Jina had never mentioned any human foods before. “I think it’s pronounced ‘bur-gur’, actually. Feels better in my human mouth.”

Reth laughed and threw his hands up. “Hey, you’re the expert. Do you want to try and cook it?”

“But we can barely read the recipe!”

“Won’t it be fun? I’m sure we could figure it out.”

The idea did sound very appealing. She would love to get closer to her roots, and she would never deny spending time with Reth. 

“Let’s do it.”

He nodded, putting a handkerchief between the pages to mark the place.

They sat in the grass and talked a little while longer before Reth announced he had to get back to the Inn, so they packed up and parted ways. 

Back at her housing plot, after Y/N had washed the chapaa meat and furs in a bucket of pond water, she wondered about her odd feelings for Reth, and the tightness in her chest when she thought about him. She stood at her stove, grilling the savory meat and letting the smell fill the air. Sometimes, when she cooked, she felt sad, and wished she was cooking with others. Cooking alone felt deeply wrong to her, and she could not explain why. She let herself feel the sadness, and then let it wash away when she was done, just like Jel had taught her. And by that time the meat had finished cooking. But as she reached to grab a plate (from the set that Elouisa had gifted her) she accidentally hit the hot pan and burned her hand. 

All at once, her mind’s eye was filled with the sight of a kitchen that wasn’t hers. The wallpaper was different, and there were many plants, and more cabinets. A woman whom she had never seen before, and yet felt so familiar, with skin tan like her own, fawned over her. 

“Oh dear, did you burn yourself, button? Come to the sink.”

The woman grabbed her wrist gently and led her to the sink, and turned the handle. Cool water started flowing from what she recollected was called a ‘faucet’. The woman, her mother, put her hand under the cold flow of the water until the burning sensation stopped. 

And then Y/N was standing alone once again, holding her injured hand to her chest. Luckily, her sink basin was already filled with fresh water from the pond, so she submerged her hand in the cool water until the familiar burning stopped once again. 

Was that a memory? Was that what remembering felt like? Her mother looked so similar to herself. She had so many questions, and she knew that no one else would have answers. Suddenly she felt so alone, even in this village of kind people, she felt totally isolated. 

– – – –

The next day felt very weird. After her odd kitchen experience the night before, Y/N had tossed and turned all night and didn’t get a wink of sleep. She ended up chopping many trees to take her mind off it, and after that didn’t help, she figured she would head into town and see if Hassian wanted help filling his meat supply for sale. The hunting in silence seemed to help a bit, and she always enjoyed his company, but every time she pulled back an arrow in the bow, the burn on her hand ached, and she remembered her mother’s face. And after that, she spent some time with Tish and Jel in the square before their shops opened. But as Tish complained of washing her cotton in pond water and finding a tadpole in her fabric later, the memory of the convenience of running water came flooding back. So she spent the day on her housing plot, alone and wallowing, unsure of what to do with herself.

When she didn’t show up for lunch again that day at the Inn, Reth thought at first it was because she was hunting. But after speaking with Hassian and learning she had already been hunting that morning, worry took over. It wasn’t like her to run off without telling someone where she was going. Everyone worried over her, being the only human any of them had ever seen, and having just materialized just a few months ago, the village as a whole didn’t want her to get lost or injured or worse. He couldn’t leave the Inn and go all the way to her house himself, but he could do one better. 

So late that afternoon, Y/N was surprised when she got a knock at her door, and was even more surprised to find Auni at her doorstep with a small paper bag. Usually he just left packages in the mailbox or on her porch, even if she was home, so she found it odd that he knocked. 

“Heya! Reth sent me with some food for ya. Wanted to know where you were.”

She smiled at him. Even though she didn’t feel like smiling, Auni was just a little ray of sunshine, and it was impossible not to be amused in his presence. And it warmed her heart to know Reth was thinking of her. 

“Hey Auni, long time no see. Do you want to come in; I caught a few new bugs I wanna show you.”

He nodded enthusiastically, and when she was done showing him the butterflies and beetles, she sent him on his way with some fresh crab meat for his mother. Now she was left with her lunch (now, she supposed she could call it dinner), some carrot soup. Her favorite. When she was done eating the warm meal, she laid on her bed and smiled, kicking her feet and giggling that Reth would be so kind. 

There were a lot of things she didn’t know, but maybe talking about them would be a good start.

– – – –

“Steady… Steady…” Nai’o hushed to the ormuu, patting it’s head while Y/N knelt beside the large animal, getting ready to milk it. She had never milked an ormuu before, and Nai’o was kind enough to offer to teach her after she had offhandedly expressed her curiosity about it a few sun cycles prior. Delaila even offered to share some of the resulting butter for her work.

He had taught her the hand motions, and once she started, it wasn’t so bad. Nai’o stood and watched and gave her encouragement as the bucket slowly filled with the good milk.

But her mind was elsewhere. Last week she had come around the corner of the City Hall and found him and Kenyatta behind the wall, doing what Tish called ‘sucking face’ but had learned the official word was ‘kissing’. It felt like an intrusion and she had pretended not to see them and had quietly snuck away, but the sight (and the curiosity) had stuck with her. 

“Can I ask you a personal question?” She said, sure to say it loud enough to be heard over the mooing of the ormuu. 

“Go ahead,” he replied instantly.

Y/N felt awkward bringing up the subject, and she wasn’t sure why. But she pushed ahead in the pursuit of answers. 

“When you first met Kenyatta, what did you feel?”

“That’s tough. Kenyatta and I grew up together. We’ve always known each other.”

That made sense, but it wasn’t what she meant. She took a deep breath and turned away from the ormuu for a second to meet his eyes.

“What about when you started dating?” The word ‘dating’ was still new to her, but she had heard Kenyatta use it, so she was sure it applied at least to her and Nai’o.

“Well, when I realized that I had feelings for her, I tried everything to get her attention. I just wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.”

“Had feelings? What did those feel like?”

“Why, are you feeling this way? I wonder who the object of your affections is?” Nai’o teased. 

She blushed, and went back to milking in hopes that Nai’o couldn’t see her dark cheeks. “Affections?” she asked, when she had found her voice. 

Occasionally, the Majiri would say a word that Y/N did not recognise. It felt childish to have to ask what a word’s definition was (even if Y/N couldn’t remember her childhood). She had heard this word before, but not used in this way. 

“Ah, how to explain it…” Nai’o said, mostly to himself as he thought for a moment. “If you have affections for someone, you like them more than you like everyone else. We call it love. It’s different than the love you feel for your parents or siblings or a close friend. You want to spend the rest of your life with that person.”

She thought about this for a moment. She didn’t have parents that she could remember, but Sifuu had joked many times that she had adopted Y/N and was her makeshift mother. And Y/N would do just about anything for Sifuu, so she guessed that was love, in a way. But she certainly did not want to kiss Sifuu. And she felt a camaraderie with Hassian, which Sifuu had also mentioned that Hassian, her Shepp, worried over her like an older brother (Hassian was not thrilled that his mother had mentioned his concerns, much like when he found out she had told Y/N about the poetry). And the mere thought of kissing Hassian made her want to throw up. And she felt proud of him in ways similar to how Tish described feeling over Reth. Now that she thought about it, she figured that Sifuu and Hassian were like her family, similar to the Daiya family. But what did that make Reth?

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Reth lately,” Nai’o continued when she didn’t say anything. 

She had brought up the subject thinking about Reth, but now felt like she should be doing more for Sifuu and Hassian. But she liked finishing what she started, so she circled back in her mind to her ultimate concern: the weird pressing in her chest when she was with Reth.

“What are you suggesting?”

“I’m suggesting that you want to kiss Reth, don’t you?”

Her words stuck in her throat at his bluntness. Did she? “I don’t know.”

“I know what you can do,” He said, looking very proud of himself, “Go to Zeki’s and buy a box of chocolates. And then give it to Reth. See what he does.” He said with a wide smile, and he leaned down to pick up the now full bucket of milk. Y/N took the cue and followed him into the house, leaving the ormuu with a small pat. 

“I thought chocolates were gifts for married folk only.”

“I give chocolates to Kenyatta all the time, and we aren’t married. Don’t you want to be like her and I?”

Y/N wasn’t exactly sure that she did, as the image of him and Ken with lips locked resurfaced, but she guessed it couldn’t hurt. “Alright, I’ll try it, and let you know.”

He clapped his hands and jumped up, in a demeanor she had never seen on Nai’o. His nosiness surprised her. “Good, tell me all the details. Ken is gonna love this.”

They went into the house and Delaila showed Y/N how the churn worked, and let her try her hand at churning the butter, but ultimately Del sent her on her way with some jam, and promised to have the butter delivered when it was finished. 

– – – –

It wasn’t for many sun cycles that Y/N and Reth could work their schedules around and meet up to try the recipe. Anxiety bubbled in her chest at the thought of what she was going to do, but she also was apprehensive to cook again. After burning her hand, she had avoided her kitchen like it was tainted with the plague. As much as she had relished and replayed the memory of her mother in her head multiple times, she was scared it was going to happen again. Even though she was slowly growing used to recalling such an old memory, having it spring up so suddenly that first time was alarming. 

She had already spoken to Jina about it, and she had urged Y/N to continue trying new things in hopes of triggering another memory to resurface. Y/N wasn’t exactly sure that she wanted that to happen, but maybe she could learn more about her own past, and about what happened to the humans in general. 

So when the time came where Reth was on his way to her home, she was a little out of sorts. The box of chocolates was hidden in a cupboard until the right moment appeared, the ingredients (what she had) for the recipe were laid out on the counter, fresh water in the sink basin, and her home cleaned and reorganized. She had only had time to build two rooms since coming to Kilima, but her living-kitchen-entry was tidy and her bed was made in the next room. Even Eshe would be proud of the decorating. 

After what felt like ages of pacing the floor, finally she heard a knock on her door. Wiping her sweaty hands on the new dress she had bought from Jel for the occasion, she opened the door. 

There he stood, in a crisp blue button-down shirt, a bouquet of heartdrop lilies in hand, and a nervous smile on his face. “Hey, sweet-tooth. Ready to make Majiri food history?”

The sight of him alone was enough to make her swoon, but the flowers were something else entirely. 

“Of course, come in, make yourself at home. Shoes off, please.” Y/N said hoping she masked the nervousness in her voice, and she accepted the flowers from him while he took off his boots. They were beautiful, and she had just bought a new vase the week prior too, so the timing was perfect. “Thank you for the flowers, they’re lovely.”

“Not as lovely as you.” He replied all too quickly, causing Y/N to blush profusely. 

“Thank you.” She whispered, reaching into her cupboard for the vase and filling it with water. The flowers sat pretty on her table for two (she had crafted the second chair just for Reth that day), and the two of them washed their hands in preparation to cook.

“So first the recipe says to make the… the patty? I think it says.” Y/N said, looking at the open cookbook on the counter. 

Reth came up behind her, putting an arm on the counter next to her and looking over her shoulder to attempt to read the book. She blushed at his close proximity. She could feel his breath gently on her neck. 

“Sounds about right. I’ve never ground up meat before. How do you think we should do it?”

“Maybe we should just mince it and hope for the best.” She looked at him and was surprised just how close their faces were to one another. Despite her pounding heart, she liked being close to him. 

“I can do that, easy peasy.” Reth smiled, locking eyes with her. “Where are your kitchen knives?”

“Um… I’ll get one.” Y/N sputtered. She had to get ahold of herself! She should be cool.

It was increasingly hard with the heartdrop lilies on the table, seemingly watching her. 

While Reth minced the chapaa meat, Y/N worked on washing and cutting the tomatoes, lettuce, and onion. The recipe also called for something called ‘cheese’, but neither of them knew what that was, so they decided to just leave it out. They seasoned the minced meat with spice sprouts, wild garlic, and an egg, formed it into round patties, and grilled them on the stove. The recipe was worn over the part talking about the onions, so Reth suggested putting the onions on raw. And they didn’t have any ‘burger buns’, so they made do with hot hound buns instead.

"Hey, Reth, I have some news."

"Oh? Like what?" He asked, flipping one of the burger patties in the pan. She watched the action, and got distracted for a moment watching the muscles in his forearm ripple.

She twiddled her hands in anticipation. "I think I remembered something. About my past life, I mean."

At this, Reth perked up and gave his full attention to her. "Really? What did you remember?"

"It was odd, it just came so suddenly," Y/N started, then backtracked. "I was just cooking last week and burned myself, and I remembered a time when I was younger and had also burned myself while cooking, and my mother had taken me to the sink and run my hand under cold water to relieve the burn."

He thought about it for a moment, then replied, "Do you think you'll remember more things?"

"I don't know. I kind of hope so, but it was a little startling. Maybe next time it won't be as surprising."

He nodded, understanding. He could only sympathize with her since he would never experience losing all his memories and waking up in a strange place, but he was sure this was a new and exciting time for Y/N.

"Thank you for telling me. I hope you get to remember more about your past life."

"Of course, thanks for being here for me. No matter what I remember, though, you'll still be my favorite part of my new life."

Reth blushed at this, and went back to tending the meat in the pan, lest it burn like his cheeks.

The result of their efforts was a little oddly shaped, but upon sitting down to eat, found it was absolutely delicious. They enjoyed their meal together with good conversation, about Tish’s latest creation, Y/N’s new dress (Reth told her she looked absolutely stunning, cause her to nearly choke on her human burger in surprise), and Ashura mentioning something about a raise for Reth. And after, they washed the dishes together, standing too close together, arms touching, laughing and splashing water everywhere. 

It was the best night Y/N had had in a long time. And it was all thanks to Reth. 

“Hey, I’m having such a good time, do you think I could stay a little while longer?” He asked, when the last dish had been dried and put away.

“Of course, I don’t want you to go home yet either.” She admitted. 

“What would you like to do?” He asked, plopping down on the couch and sinking back into the cushions. 

“Actually, I have something for you.” Y/N admitted, feeling nervous and excited. Reth made her feel like she could do anything, and like she was on top of the world, and she hoped her gift would instill similar feelings in him. “But you have to close your eyes.”

He closed his eyes immediately, and her heart leapt at the sight. “Alright, I do love surprises.”

With a wide smile and shaking hands, she carefully pulled out the heart-shaped box of chocolates and sat down on the couch next to him. He sat up as he felt her weight on the couch next to him, and instinctively, she scooched closer to him until their legs were completely pressed together. 

She placed the chocolates on his lap gingerly. “Okay, you can open your eyes now.”

She watched as he opened his eyes, looking down at the box in his lap, then turned to look at her with such boyish joy in his eyes. Nothing could have prepared her for the energy in that room, filled with tension and joy and pure happiness and nervousness all at once. It was nearly overwhelming.

“You really want me to have these?” He asked, his voice not much above a whisper. 

“Of course, all for you. You deserve them.” Y/n said simply, though she wanted to proclaim that he deserved so much more than a simple box of chocolates. 

But he looked at her like she hung the flaming moon, like she was all he had ever wanted. Because, simply put, that’s exactly how he felt. 

“Y/N,” he started, carefully placing the chocolates on the coffee table in front of him, never taking his eyes off of hers, “You are the most generous, kind, beautiful soul I have ever met,” Now that his hands were free, he reached for hers. Gently caressing the backs of her hands with his thumbs, he gazed into her eyes with all the adoration in his heart. “I’m honored you would gift these to me. Thank you so much.”

Y/N was so happy she could cry. And she nearly did. Reth made her feel so safe and appreciated, and she knew he reciprocated everything she felt by the way he looked at her now. She glanced at his lips and wondered what they would feel like pressed to her own, and now she understood Kenyatta perfectly. 

He seemed to read her mind, moving one hand to her face, gliding his thumb over her cheekbone as he pressed his forehead to hers. With eyes closed to fully savor the moment, he whispered gently, “May I kiss you?”

Her heart was doing flips in her chest now as he moved ever closer, and she mewled out a meek ‘yes’, feeling the faint brush of his lips against her own due to their proximity. 

He wasted no time once she had consented, and he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. His hand on her face held her in place, and his other hand moved to her back to pull her closer. Her own hands rested on his strong forearm, and one on his shoulder as she deepened the kiss. He was all over her, invading her senses, and all she could think was more, more, more. She wasn’t sure what ‘more’ entailed, but she would happily spend the rest of her life figuring it out. She needed him impossibly closer, and he seemed to be thinking the same thing by the way his hands gripped the fabric of her dress. His tongue gently opened her mouth, allowing himself access to her. The sensation was foreign but she found it wasn’t unpleasant. She allowed him to explore her mouth for a little while, and just enjoyed the feeling of him pressed against her. 

Reth was ecstatic that Y/N returned his feelings, and was even happier that she was content to sit in his arms. He had dreamed of this moment ever since he first laid eyes on her, that first day she came into his world. He relished in the feeling of her so close, her warm body pressing ever closer, her hands wandering across his arms and back. She touched his neck at the base of his hair, and he simply melted into her touch. She was everything he could have ever wanted. 

He got so excited that he scooped his hands under her legs, chuckling at her gasp of surprise as he lifted her into his lap. Warm hands settled on her hips as she gazed into his eyes with all the love in her heart. He just wanted her closer, so he pulled her to his chest for a deep hug. He pet her hair, gently carding his fingers through as she sighed into his shoulder. Nuzzling her nose into his neck, Y/N sighed contentedly. She could sit like this forever, legs on either side of his, as close as she could possibly be, and wondered what she would have to do to make this a daily occurrence. 

“Reth?” She asked, after many minutes of just sitting in each other’s presence. 

“Yes, Y/N?”

“Will you be mine? Only mine?”

“Yes my love, I’m already yours.”

[thewhumpcaretaker]

⚜ Marquis of Los Angeles: Ch. I - Lucky Find

ཐི♡ཋྀ Thank you for the beta-read, @evrensadwrn! ཐི♡ཋྀ

Summary: On a visit to his home country, Sebastian LaCroix has the good fortune to find a beautiful and powerful Marquis dying of a bullet wound. Why not take him home as a ghoul?

Author's Note: Okay, um...remember when I said this was a one-shot? Excuse me while I spit out another enemies-to-lovers slowburn because I can't help myself. I may or may not finish it, but I'd rather give the story plenty of room to breathe than rush through it, even if I don't get to the end. I'm excited to see where it goes!

TW: hallucination, kidnapping, religious imagery, vampires doing vampire stuff

If you have a century or two to wait, sometimes the world delivers gifts, just lying there, ready to be pocketed. A seashell, pearlescent and only a little chipped at the edges. A shiny new quarter forgotten on the sidewalk. Los Angeles.

It even might deliver what Sebastian LaCroix would have called, in his day, a “dandy”, freshly dying, on the steps of the Sacré-Coeur Basilica.

Only minutes remained until sunrise. LaCroix’s heart, though it had no need to beat, contracted in terror at the nearness of sunlight, at the piercing golden glow already illuminating that beautiful creature’s parted, breathless lips. This was risky business, swooping in like a vulture at such a time. A little longer, and they might never have met. Sebastian thought of that too often in the days and years and centuries that followed.

Only minutes remained until the bullet in his brain would have laid waste to the most vigorous life force Sebastian had ever encountered.

But as matters stood, he watched from the shadowy columns where he had chosen to shelter during the daylight hours of his visit to France, and clung to the sound of a distant pulse. It persisted (though feebly) even once its scent exploded into open air.

A great bulk of a man in a dark overcoat bowed down his head and sighed. He lifted Vincent’s body with the solemnity of one who knows what death means, and carried it within, into the shadow where Sebastian waited, under those forgotten awnings just beyond the pews. The carnival of stained-glass light pouring through the windows did not penetrate there.

As they passed, the man halted, overcome with a sudden unease, and could not move his feet. Sebastian smiled on him, an open hand outstretched. “Would you allow me to bless this man before he passes on?”

The man had, of course, no choice, and he would not remember laying his charge at Sebastian’s feet, or saying, “Who are you, sir? A man of God?”

“Think of me as a healing angel.”

He stared, knowing quite frankly that this was bullshit. He could see a barely restrained urge to devour flaring up within Sebastian even now, not so different from the look his own superior had worn on occasion, equally recognizable on both kindred and kine. “If you are an angel, then so is he.”

.¸¸.*✧*.¸¸.*✧*.¸¸. ཐི♡ཋྀ.¸¸.*✧*.¸¸.*✧*.¸¸.

There was never total certainty that it would work. A headshot was unfortunate to say the least, and even with a truly massive outpouring of vitae, the bullet still had to be pushed out of Vincent’s brain, dragging on the neurons as it went.

There wasn’t physical pain, exactly. No nerves are to be found in the grey matter. Inside the brain itself, the only pain is mental.

Time and place fragmented themselves, breaking apart in front of Vincent to form a dazzling kaleidoscope. He was drifting on his back, through a flooded Château de Versailles. The water must have been deep, because he was lifted so high, close to the frescoed ceiling where angels leaned down over him amongst the roiling clouds. Why was the palace full of water? No…not water. Blood. Of course. He was being carried up to judgement on the tide of blood he’d spilt, that was it. He could hear his own music coming from another room, the reveries he used to play at the piano, but it was wildly distorted, devolving into devils’ trills. The angels crawled down over the mountains of clouds, over the ledge of the upper moulding, down the columns on all fours to descend on him, snarling as angels never snarl, with fangs at their lips. Their unnatural motions sparked a total horror in him but he could not flee, could only float paralyzed on the sea of blood that was starting to seep into his mouth, into his eyes. They were upon him, someone was bending over him, a face that flickered and distorted and jeered. A devil. His father. Then John Wick. His heart strained with wild terror.

“Your heartbeat is growing stronger. Good. It took long enough.”

And the face resolved. It was, at least, none of the faces he had feared a few moments ago. And it wasn’t unpleasant to look at, with strikingly high cheekbones and full lips, with a strawberry blond slick of hair and eyes like pools of pale honey. It had a magnetism about it, deeper than its inherent charm and beauty. He had trouble looking away from that face – it was in focus even though the rest of the world remained blurred, and it made something sickly sweet well up inside of him. He could have forgiven the cruel satisfaction painted all over it, but that sweet magnetism, tugging on his heartstrings…he could not forgive that. He decided that whoever this was, he disliked them very, very much.

For a few moments, Vincent tried to speak, but his brain had not yet made contact with his tongue, it seemed. He just gasped and gasped until the man laughed and held up the bullet, coated in blood. “Can you believe this little scrap of metal was all it took to put you into a state of such total confusion? And you would be far worse off if I hadn’t taken a liking to you. Life is so fragile.” And the man…well, there was no getting around it. He popped the bullet into his mouth like a candy and licked his fingers, apparently savoring the taste, before pulling it out of his mouth again, sucked clean of blood. He swallowed and grinned widely, this time baring fangs.

Okay. So he was still hallucinating, then. Good good, nothing to worry about. Just slowly breathing his last breaths on the steps of the Basilica, hallucinating violently while John Wick probably gloated over his body. It was fine! Everything was fine. The world started to go fuzzy and dark at the edges as his wild gasping continued.

“Oh no no no, you’re not passing out again just yet. Solo jet rides are interminably dull. We ought to use our time wisely and get to know each other.” The man slapped lightly at his cheek, trying to keep him conscious. Vincent felt his brows furrow, and couldn’t control his muscles enough to wipe that affronted look off his face.

“Who…who…” do you think you are, that had been his intention for the sentence. But he couldn’t quite get there, and the man answered just the same.

“Sebastian LaCroix, Camarilla Prince of Los Angeles and your new regnant.” The man took his hand and shook it. “Of course, none of that means anything to you just yet, but it will very soon.”

It didn’t, except for “Los Angeles.” Vincent was still catching up to the part about “jet rides,” and noticing that the ceiling above them was curved in the manner of an aircraft cabin. Where the hell was he? Was he…kidnapped? A feeling set in then. Whether it was made of greater parts relief or sinking dread, he couldn’t tell. But he had the feeling that this was far too vivid to be a hallucination.

He wasn’t dead after all, and Sebastian LaCroix, whatever he may be, was real.

[yaniiiiism]

just fine. -h.hj ✭ !

💥 chapter 2.

if you haven't, be sure to read chapter 1 ✿ before , here !

✧ pairing : hwang hyunjin x fem!reader (maybe not) ͏✧ info : sadfic (hah) , a LOT of angst , melancholy (ofc) , drama , feelings , mature themes , suggestive , bsfs , one sided. ͏✧ personas: uni students ; dancers ; hyunjin does art and dance, reader does dance and songwriting. ͏͏✧ word count : 1.2k ͏✧ warnings : mature themes !

may not be best friends -> lovers

— ☆ 

“Earth to Hyunjin?”

Her voice broke through the soft haze of their conversation, snapping Hyunjin out of his reverie.

His eyes blinked slowly as he turned to her, dropping his pencil onto the sketchpad. 

“What happened after? That newbie who was crushing—”

She rolled her eyes, the corner of her lips twitching, clouding her insides. “He wasn’t crushing on me, Hyunjin. The poor guy just needed notes.”

Hyunjin let out a short laugh, but the sound was tinged with disbelief rather than humour. 

"Right, because guys always ask for notes while staring at you like you’re the last piece of cake on the table." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked at her intently.

“Plus, you’re so fucking pretty, and talented and all. There’s no way guys haven’t tried hitting on you.”

“Look, even if guys are into me—why does it matter? It's not like I’m interested anyway. What if my heart already belongs to—”

The words slipped out before she could catch them, hanging in the air between them like a fragile truth she hadn't meant to reveal.

Hyunjin’s brow knit together, the teasing curve of his lips faltering as he caught the shift in her tone. "What do you mean, belongs to someone?" he asked, his voice dipped in a gentler shade, almost hesitant, as if he were stepping into fragile terrain.

She swallowed the weight of the unsaid, a burden pressed firmly against her chest, threatening to unravel everything she’d kept so carefully hidden. This was dangerous ground, a precipice she wasn’t sure she dared to approach. 

"I just mean... I’m not really looking for anything right now. You know, too focused on school and stuff."

He leaned back, the playful light in his eyes dimming as something more contemplative took its place. 

He leaned back in his chair, that look settling over his features as he absently sketched with a charcoal pencil, his fingers deftly moving on the blank page. The gentle scratch of the pencil was a soft backdrop to their conversation, a counterpoint to the heaviness in the room. 

"Right, school," he murmured, his gaze lingering on her, betraying a curiosity he couldn’t quite shake. "But if you were looking… there’d be plenty of options. I just don’t get why you haven’t... tried, you know?”

She bit her lip, the words she wanted to say tangling with the ones she knew she should voice. Her eyes flickered to the scattered notes and textbooks on her bed, the very essence of her current life.

"Maybe I’m just waiting for the right person."

His eyes locked onto hers, "And you think you’ll know when you find them?"

The brunette’s heart fluttered painfully, leaping a mile of lost hope, the weight of his gaze almost too much to bear. She whispered, her voice barely a breath against the charged air.

"Maybe I already have."

The guy’s expression softened, the veneer of teasing slipping away to reveal a vulnerability beneath. He looked down at the sketch in his hands, his fingers hovering over the delicate lines of the drawing. The room seemed to hold its breath, the soft hum of the air and the distant strains of music mingling in a delicate symphony.

But just as swiftly, the moment ebbed away, and he shook his head with a light, almost melancholic laugh. "Well, when you do find that person, you’d better let me know so I can give him a hard time."

She forced a smile, turning her gaze back to her notes with a heavy heart, trying to ignore the ache that had settled deep within her chest. “Right.. definitely.”

Yet, deep down, she knew she never would. Because the truth, as stark and clear as the lines in his sketch, was that he would never see her in that way. 

To him, she would always be the girl who shared his secrets, his dreams, his fears—but never his heart.

As he continued to sketch, lost in the quiet of his art, she remained on her bed, the distance between them feeling as vast as an uncharted sea.

And then it was another weekend. 

The soft thrum of music and laughter filled the air as a party unfolded in the cozy apartment of one of Hyunjin’s friends, Changbin - celebrating his uni grad.

Y/n was pretty close with his friend group, so of course, she was invited.

Didn't mean she wanted to go though. But well- it was a graduation party right? They'd all be celebrating Chris' freedom from education. Nothing more or less.. right?

Mmm.. but boy was she wrong.

saturday night, 08:01 pm.

The night hummed softly with the pulse of muted conversations, faint music, and the warm buzz of revelry. In the small, dimly lit apartment, the air felt heavy—not just with the scent of summer heat and cheap cologne, but with something more, something unspoken.

But even in the crowd, even with people swirling past her in bursts of conversation and carefree laughter, she felt alone. Worse than alone.

She weaved through the crowd, her smile faint, eyes distant as they wandered—searching, yearning. She could feel the invisible pull, like a thread wrapped tightly around her heart, tugging her gaze toward the corner of the room.

And there, in the far corner, was Hyunjin. And he was not alone.

He leaned casually against the worn leather couch, Seori curled up beside him like they had always belonged together. Their laughter drifted through the air, soft and intimate, like the music was playing only for them. Hyunjin's fingers brushed Seori’s hair out of her face, and the way she smiled up at him made her heart clench painfully.

It was effortless. It was painful.

The girl’s heart ached, the dull throb of it settling low in her chest. She tried to look away, but it was like watching a sunset—beautiful, heartbreaking, inevitable. 

She had always known, deep down, that Hyunjin was slipping away from her. 

Maybe he had never really been hers to lose, but that didn’t make it any easier.

Her fingers traced the rim of the cup she held, absentmindedly. The laughter and chatter around her blurred into a distant hum. 

She felt like a ghost in her own life, a silent observer in a scene she couldn’t even rewrite. Every glance Hyunjin shared with Seori felt like a door closing.

But she wasn’t the only one watching.

— ??

Leaning casually against the wall, his eyes were fixed on her, observing every subtle flicker of her emotions—the way her shoulders slumped ever so slightly when she caught sight of Hyunjin and Seori, the faint sadness in her eyes. 

He knew her well enough to recognize the facade of nonchalance she wore so tightly around herself. And it stirred something in him—a mix of frustration, empathy, and the lingering, unspoken affection he had long kept buried.

He clenched his jaw slightly, trying to ignore the resentment bubbling inside him. 

Resentment toward Hyunjin for being so blind, so careless with someone like her. 

It wasn’t that he disliked Seori. 

No, it wasn’t about her at all.

It was about Hyunjin forgetting the girl who had always been there— who had silently, patiently stood by his side, waiting for him to notice. 

But instead, Hyunjin’s world seemed to revolve around someone else now.

author's note !

AHHHHH ANOTHER CHAPTERRRR been 5 days since i posted omg😨 my mid terms are less than 25 days away and i havent started studying yet bye ok i have the next 2 chapters ready in my draft trust🤟 posting the next maybe tmr or today? day after? idk wtv i feel <3 sooo who do you think is 'him' ? 😛 try guessing in the comments and if yr right i might answer u in a msg ;3 also plz lmk if u wanna be in my taglist !! <3 i love teasing people like this omhfjdsn ok muah BYEEE 💋

[1d1195]

My Friend's Toyota IV

Read the rest here: My Friend's Toyota

~6.2k words

Warnings: fluff, some angst, some 18+ escapades mentioned/described but nothing over the top, virgin reader/experienced H (semi-spoiler: you will not be reading about their first time in this one) I'm sure we all know I do 3rd POV typically, but I think this will also feel like it's rapidly switching between our characters within that lens, so just keep that in mind. Also I think this part is really... complex if you will. Think coming of age, trying to figure out life kind of stuff. It's not easy and I wrote it randomly in a way, because I don't think you can wrap all this stuff up in a neat little bow the way you expect to. There are curveballs in life and especially in sex. There are difficult conversations to be had and things that are hard to explain; this is just the way I chose to portray such a relationship. I kind of left this open-ended in a way that I could come back to it for follow-ups. I hope that doesn't detract from the story.

Sorry for the long note; here is the last part. Thank you for reading it. I hope you enjoy 💕

Harry wondered if he kissed her would his lips stick to hers.

He kind of hoped they would.

She’s not ready for the air to get colder / ‘Cause she’s so used to living on the beach down in Florida / Wanna take her to the mountains / We can take my friend’s Toyota / But the heat don’t work so when the air gets colder / I can hold ya

Harry was going to kill Mitch. When they stopped for gas, he texted him while she ran in to the station to grab some extra snacks. How come the heat isn’t working?

Whoops. I forgot about that...

Mitchell. She is FREEZING.

Sarah says it’s an excuse to snuggle.

Honestly, Harry had already thought of that. But he wanted her to be whole and warm when they made it to the cabin. It made him so anxious that he was ruining their weekend getaway before it barely started. But she returned chipper as ever, four cups of hot liquid in a little cardboard tray. He smirked, raising his eyebrows suspiciously at the copious number of drinks.

She smiled shyly. “It’ll be warm,” she shrugged.

He chuckled as she settled the drinks in the middle of the bench seat and made sure they wouldn’t spill while Harry drove. It was only another hour to the cabin. It was freezing. Truly, freezing didn’t even justify the cold temperature she was feeling. It felt like there was ice in the bottom of her shoes—she contemplated spilling one of the cups of hot chocolate she purchased into her boots just for warmth. “M’so sorry about the heat, kitten. I didn’t know.”

Despite her jaw silently chattering (she hid the sound of it from Harry by pulling her lower lip into her mouth ever so slightly) she smiled at him. “I’m fine,” she promised. Really, she was. It wasn’t like she was going to get hypothermia or anything, it was just cold. The hot liquid helped though, the cup warmed her gloved hands and melted her insides as she drank it. Harry also provided her with two warm, fuzzy blankets to snuggle under during the ride. It wasn’t too late—but winter up North anything past four PM was late. The sky was nearly black, only stars and stray wispy clouds. It didn’t help the chill in the cab of the truck. She packed an overnight bag of her regular belongings with clothes and toiletries, her backpack (because it was really hard for her to part from her schoolwork when school was in session), and plenty of jackets and sweatshirts. Harry packed about the same and all their bags were piled into the thin backseat of the cab of the truck as well. In the bed of the truck was an assortment of drinks and food items they might need as general basics when they got to the cabin. They would still need to go to the grocery store.

The prospect of playing house with her was very exciting.

Harry thought she was the cutest little ad for ski gear with a little knit headband around her ears and matching mittens. She was so pretty it made him feel dizzy. “Do you want some?” She asked, grabbing a second cup from the tray. He smiled, taking it with one hand and sipping it. He popped out the cupholder that resided within the dash and slid it in.

His mum always warned him that driving at dusk and dawn were the two hardest times to drive. Between the animals and other drivers struggling to see in the fading or growing light he wasn’t surprised.

Add in snow coming off the mountain? It was another added distraction.

But she had never seen snow. “Oh my God,” she whispered.

He smiled silently at her awed expression, keeping his eyes on the road, the wiper blades pushing the fluffy squall of flakes off the glass. She shifted in her seat edging closer to the dashboard, the seatbelt stretching to accommodate her closeness. “Is it always sparkly like that?” Her voice was reverent. Soft and warm despite how icy she must have felt. Harry was focused on not skidding on what could be an icy cold road. Maybe he should have waited until the morning to start driving but he wanted to milk every possible second of the weekend with her without interruption from anyone. A two-night, and two-and-a-half-day stay was hardly enough so he wasn’t going to lose that half a day for nothing.

“I’ve never noticed it sparkling,” he admitted. She used her teeth to pull her glove off before she reached for the windshield. With one finger on it, the heat from her finger creating a little halo of steam on the glass, her eyes scanned the fluttering snow as it fell in front of the headlights.

“It’s like glitter,” she murmured. “It’s so pretty; I don’t think I’ve ever seen something this pretty…can we stop?”

It was fortunate they were coming to a rest stop—Harry had only been to Mitch’s cabin a few times but when they travelled in from their hometown, it was a much longer journey, and the rest stop was always needed. Pulling off the highway, she got out of the car quickly. Harry followed suit, locking the vehicle and fell into step beside her. She was so bright-eyed. The chill in the air didn’t seem to bother her, although Harry was sure it had to because it almost bothered him.

There was a thin layer of snow coating the ground. If he had a measuring tape, it wouldn’t even read a millimeter. She stood still gazing upward, the fluffy flakes caught on her little headband, in her hair. They melted as they hit her face, making her cheeks spotted with a little drop of moisture.

But what had him falling further in love with her was the way they fell on her eyelashes and clung to them for a moment before turning into water again. Her cheeks pinked in the chilly air and Harry wondered if he kissed her would his lips stick to hers.

He kind of hoped they would.

Without warning, she hurried to the picnic table that was also covered in snow and laid across it, stretching her arms out and sighing deeply. “I know I’m always cold, but I do love it. It’s so much better than the heat,” she looked so gorgeous, Harry could hardly breathe. She turned her head and smiled at him. “You think I’m crazy,” she giggled.

He nodded. “I do,” he sounded so serious, but his smile was so enticing it made her stomach hurt.

“You know, this is where you would murder me,” she told him.

He snorted and shook his head at her. “Oh?”

“Yup. You kill me here, abandoned rest stop, closed for the season. No one finds me till spring. You have your nice long weekend alone.”

He rolled his eyes. “You think Allie wouldn’t hunt me down?”

“You stole my phone tell her I couldn’t be here anymore, too cold. Move back south.”

“Your parents?”

“They haven’t a clue,” she shrugged.

“No more podcasts, kitten.”

She turned her attention back to the sky, the falling flakes making her look like a literal snow angel, speckling her hair. “It’s beautiful,” her voice was so soft. Harry smiled and moved to lay beside her. She shifted, allowing space on the creaky table. He let one leg dangle off the side, propped up by the bench seat. He tried to see it the way she saw it. It had been so long since he had stopped and watched the snow fall. He knew it was beautiful. There were reasons people visited the mountains to ski and have romantic, chilly getaways. But he could hardly tear his eyes away from her to look at the beauty she saw that wasn’t her own reflection. “Do you even like snow?” She asked.

He nodded. “When I was younger,” he started. “I was the only boy,” he smiled fondly. “Mum and Gemma were adamant that I do what was proper and right. But it was more than that. I wanted t’be a gentleman t’them, y’know?” She didn’t obviously, not exactly, but she nodded. “I actually liked shoveling. Our neighbors paid me t’shovel their drives as well,” he explained. “It was so quiet. Y’can’t really tell right now,” he gestured toward the highway that had cars singing down the road to their destinations. “Snow absorbs the sound of everything else, traps it in the flakes and carries it t’the ground like s’tucking a kid into bed,” he shook his head with a smile. “S’the only way I can describe it. Felt like when Mum would carry me t’bed when I was sick,” he paused. “You must think I’m crazy,” he smiled.

She shook her head eagerly. “No,” she promised. “I mean, it’s a weird way to say no one will hear me scream when you murder me,” she shrugged and Harry laughed, rolling his eyes again. Seriousness came over her features again and she turned on her side to face him. “Tell me more,” she whispered. “It’s quiet,” she reminded him, encouraging him to continue his story. “You liked shoveling?”

He kissed the middle of her forehead and took a deep breath inhaling her perfume and the smell of her laundry detergent that mixed together to create this amazing scent that was entirely her. “My mum and Gemma did so much for me,” he explained. “I’d do anything for them. So...I like the snow a lot. S’peaceful.”

She looked back up and watched the flakes fall and land on Harry’s skin without any pattern. It made his skin dewey and somehow more beautiful. She brushed her glove thumb on his eyebrow, brushing the flakes that landed there before they froze. “It is peaceful.”

“We should go before we freeze.”

“Eager to kill me in private, I see.”

“There’s something wrong with you.”

“You picked me,” she giggled getting off the table and right as she stepped away, Harry grabbed her hand, pulled her back so she was between his legs, arms pressed to the front of his body and his arms circled around her waist.

“I’d pick you, again and again,” he promised before kissing her sweetly on the lips. Fortunately (or unfortunately, for Harry), their lips didn’t stick together.

Harry forgot how much warmth was produced to melt any hope of staying stuck to her.

*

“Can I do something?” She asked about ten minutes longer into the drive.

“Of course,” he chuckled.

She unbuckled herself, scooted to the middle seat, replacing her old spot with the warm drinks ensuring once more they wouldn’t spill while driving. She leaned toward him, her body snug against his side. His hand fell to her thigh wrapped in at least two layers and he still thought she wouldn’t have looked sexier in lingerie. Carefully, she draped her blankets across Harry’s lap as well. “This is much better,” she sighed.

Harry couldn’t have agreed more. He squeezed her thigh and kissed the top of her head without moving his gaze from the road. “Warm?” He asked.

She nodded. “Very.”

His heart was in his throat because the snow was getting a little heavier as he creeped further north to the little mountain town. Her sweet voice was going on and on about how pretty the snow was, what she was looking forward to this weekend, and how not even their upcoming finals had her in a bad mood.

It took every ounce of self-control to focus on the road and not her. When she started pointing at how fluffy the flakes were once more Harry cleared his throat. “Kitten,” his voice was soft. She could hear the warning tone. A frown graced her lips in his peripheral.

“Yeah?”

“I love your voice,” he began.

Looking away briefly she turned and nuzzled her face against his jacketed arm. “I’m talking too much, aren’t I?” She asked quietly.

“God, no,” he shook his head, it seemed horrible to face forward and not look at her while he reassured her. “I’d listen t’you for hours jus’ t’hear y’read the ingredients in m’shampoo,” he promised. “But you are the most precious cargo I’ve ever driven—”

Immediately, she turned her face toward his arm, still pressed to his side. Like she was embarrassed over the notion. “That’s the sweetest—”

“—and I want t’stare at you, and talk t’you about the snow, finals, everything, love. But I want t’get you to the cabin safely. Your sweet voice is so distracting. S’not your fault at all. S’mine. I jus’ want t’look at you.”

“I’ll be quieter,” she promised, but there was a smile in her voice as she murmured quietly into his arm again.

“You’re not mad, no?”

She shook her head. “Not at all. I’ve never driven in the snow. Forgot it might be scary. Even for a veteran driver like you,” she nosed at his arm again. She let all the air escape her in a long sigh. “I’ll let you focus,” her voice wasn’t as exuberant, but Harry glanced at her briefly to see a content smile on her face. Her eyes facing forward as she admired the snowy road. Relief coursed through him that she didn’t hate him for basically telling her to shut up. Quietly she hummed to the music playing through the speakers.

Harry was a believer in some kind of heaven beyond.

But driving along a cold snowy road, with the girl of his dreams on his arm, he stopped believing.

There was no way heaven could exist if she was right beside him.

*

The cabin was the stuff of dreams. It was secluded, but honestly not in the serial killer way she kept mocking Harry about. From the little perch of land, she could see down to the town nearby. Not quite rural but not urban either. It was perfect. They stopped at the grocery store on the way in and she caught sight of an old bookstore and a little boutique that she wanted to go to tomorrow.

“I honestly hadn’t considered killing you till now, kitten,” Harry was grumbling as they carried the groceries in first, then their other bags. When Harry glanced away very briefly to check nothing was left in their cart, she paid for the groceries with a tap of her debit card.

“I knew it,” she whispered to mostly herself with a smile.

“Supposed t’be treating you,” he continued grumbling.

“Harry, you treat me literally all the time. You worked so many extra shifts this week to make up for missing the weekend ones. Just let me,” she assured him putting the perishables in the fridge and freezer. He still felt guilty, and she could see his mind spinning with ways to make up for the “atrocity.”

“D’you want anything t’eat or drink?” He asked.

“How about the pizza?” She suggested. It was quick and easy and didn’t require a lot of thought to make. It would be easy for their first night here. “I got it,” she offered, and Harry went to set up the fireplace. While he worked on the fire, she meandered around the cabin. It was warm and cozy but also extremely open. Pictures of Mitch and Harry were strewn about table surfaces. Vacations from their school days. Other pictures of whom she assumed was the rest of Mitch’s family. Sarah was even in a few, too. The décor was perfect for a cabin. Like it had been crocheted a giant sweater to sit on the walls with a variety of little inspirational ski quotes like “skiing is the next best thing to having wings.” It was toasty without the fireplace going just because it was everything a mountain cabin should be.

The beautiful stone fireplace cracked now that Harry had fed it enough firewood. It was along the back wall set between windows that let the sunlight in each morning (she wasn’t positive on that, but assumed it was built so the bedrooms wouldn’t be in direct sunlight while waking up), and the coziest looking couches she had seen. They fit the room perfectly. All they needed was a sweet, chocolate labrador to play fetch with and this could be home.

She pulled the knit headband off her head, finally warming from the heat and the fireplace. Harry brought her a glass of wine. It felt like they were real adults on a trip. Harry almost immediately stripped of his outdoor gear when they arrived, but it took a while for her southern blood to warm. Eventually she slid her coat off. Harry hung it on the back of a chair while he found plates in the cabinet and finished with the remainder of the groceries: things for the bathroom that weren’t regularly stored in the little getaway. She was inspecting the bookshelf reading the back of covers that were old and well-loved. “Anything good?”

She smiled. “I think all books are good.”

He chuckled, grabbed their overnight bags by the front door and went off to another room. Her heart pounded with the realization they were on a trip together and it wasn’t just Harry’s suite like she had gotten used to over the last month and a half.

All week she had been nervous. Allie could tell it reached a breaking point on Thursday when she was packing. Harry was at work, unaware of her troubles. She knew she was being ridiculous. Harry had been nothing but kind since she met him. But when he brought their bags to the other room, all the anxiety she had squashed down came flooding back to her.

“Are you excited?” Allie’s voice was gentle when she asked while she finished zipping her bag. All she needed were the toiletries that she would pack once she used them in the morning.

“Yes,” she murmured.

“Oh, that’s assuring,” Allie hopped onto her bed and patted the seat beside her as if it were her room. “C’mon, sweetie,” she encouraged with a sweet smile. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

She shook her head, cheeks flaming, unable to put it into words because she felt so embarrassed. Even in front of someone who was very much her best friend. “It’s nothing.”

“I’ll tickle it out of you,” she warned.

“Oh my God,” she sat beside her and looked at her hands in her lap. It was extremely quiet in her room. “I’ve never had sex,” she mumbled.

“What?!” She gasped.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she groaned. “I knew it was weird,” she covered her face with her hands.

“No, shit,” Allie put a comforting hand on her arm. “No, it’s not weird. It’s not anything,” she said reassuringly.

“Allie, Harry has definitely had sex, yes?” Allie was silent. “Right,” tears welled in her eyes. “It’s just this element of our relationship that’s so...” she shook her head. “Unequal.”

“Sweetie, Harry is not going to care about that at all.”

“I know, but I do,” she admitted, her voice cracking. “I feel so...lame. So immature. How is that possible?”

“I really don’t know because you are way more mature than I am, and it’s got nothing to do with sex.”

She ignored that comment because she knew it was supposed to help but everything felt awful. Her body was overheating with shame and awkwardness she had never felt before. “What if I’m bad at it?”

Allie snorted and patted her arm again. “Impossible.”

“Allie...” she whined, tears still filling her vision. “I...” she swallowed, took a deep breath. “I think I love him. If I’m not good at it... then... I’m just a waste of his time—”

Allie shook her head immediately. “Stop, stop, stop,” she hushed. “You are not a waste of time. If you and Harry stopped seeing each other tomorrow, I would expect him to write you a thank you note for being with him for the past few months.”

“You think I’m an idiot. A prude.”

“No, of course not! I’m surprised. You’re hot as fuck, babe,” she rolled her eyes. “You didn’t have anyone you wanted to...?” she trailed off with the question lending itself to the silence.

“No,” she shook her head. “You have to understand, my parents are so in love with each other. Sometimes it’s nauseating. It’s not like I didn’t want to just get it out of the way. I wish I did. I wish I just... God, it’s so lame sounding. I just think it’s supposed to be special. It’s an important part of a relationship, but I didn’t want it to be the only thing,” her voice cracked more times than she could count. The words came out in a sad whisper. But she left the story about studying for physics in her junior year that she had told Harry unsaid. Allie nodded understandingly.

“That’s not lame, sweetie,” she promised. “There’s no right or wrong to it. It just is.”

“I literally Googled how not to be bad in bed.”

Allie laughed despite herself. “Of course you would do research.”

“Al,” she whined again.

“I’m not trying to pry, sweetie... have you... done anything precursory with Harry?” She asked.

Her face warmed and she nodded. It wasn’t every night they slept together or anything, but Harry’s fingers and tongue were no stranger to her body. Her mouth honestly ached to have him in her just as much as her body seemed to ache recently for more than what they were currently doing.

Allie sighed. “Look, I said it before, I’ll say it again. If Harry tries anything shady with you, I will cut his dick off, no questions asked. Honestly, he would probably appreciate the gesture on your behalf,” she shrugged. When she didn’t hear a flicker of laughter she continued, gentler than the previous sentence. “Sweetie, I know you love him,” it was a little weird to hear her best friend say it without the word think or feel in it the way she had said it, thought it, and voiced it out loud. “But God, if he doesn’t love you too,” she promised. “It doesn’t have to happen. I know I was a little wary of him at first, but I can tell that Harry would do anything to make you happy,” she promised. “You probably wouldn’t need to have sex with him ever if you didn’t want to.”

“I think I want to.”

“Okay, well,” Allie turned, waiting for her to look at her. Gather all the attention with focused eye contact with the utmost seriousness she had ever seen on her free-spirited friend’s face. “Until that’s an ‘I know’ you’re not to do anything you don’t want to. Do you understand? I have a mind to tell Harry myself because you’re too kind to say it.”

“Oh, that’s a great idea Allie,” she grumbled sarcastically. “Tell my boyfriend I’m too scared to go away with him because I think I’ll be bad at sex?”

Allie didn’t even flinch and the preposterousness of it all. “I literally do not care,” she shrugged.

A beat of silence ensued. “I won’t,” she mumbled. It wasn’t like Allie was wrong in her line of thinking. It did sound like something she would do to appease Harry. “I won’t,” she repeated more for herself than for Allie.

When Harry returned from putting their bags away, she was still pretending to read the back of book covers while she reminisced about the conversation she had with Allie. “I think this is where Mitch’s mum puts all the books they no longer read, kind of thing,” he explained, entering the room, and pulling her from her thoughts.

She hoped her smile wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable looking. “Yeah, some old ones here,” she affirmed and brought one of the books and her glass of wine to the sofa, she settled both on the coffee table and looked at the fire again. “This is perfect, Harry,” she smiled. Her heart felt whole, despite all the anxiety she also felt. He sighed nearly with relief.

“Good,” he fell beside her and pressed a hand to the side of her face. “M’glad,” he kissed her forehead effectively turning her insides to liquid. “Pizza’s almost ready. Did y’want t’study for a bit before we... watch a movie or something?”

Her heart felt so much gratitude for him. “Really? On a Friday night? A weekend getaway?” She wondered.

“I mean... if y’don’t want to, then of course not. But I know y’well enough t’know y’kind of want to. Because y’don’t want t’fall behind—which I do think is impossible... but I know it’ll make y’feel better t’turn your brain off tomorrow and Sunday,” he shrugged with a smile that was so easy and lovely she really believed Sarah for a moment that he wouldn’t have sex if she asked.

But there was no way she was going to ruin a romantic weekend away. “I have Monday,” she said firmly.

“Are y’sure? I really don’t mind. M’behind myself, a bit because of the extra shifts,” he explained.

Her guilt flew out of her system. “Oh, okay, if you’re sure.”

He shook his head with a smirk. “Kitten,” he cooed. “M’not gonna be upset if y’want t’study...if it’ll help y’relax and—”

“I just really don’t want you to think I’m lame,” she hurried looking away as she interrupted him.

He frowned. “M’not being a very good boyfriend if y’think m’gonna say you’re lame for wanting t’do well and get good grades,” he tugged her backpack over the back of the couch and settled it in front of her. “I don’t know why y’think m’not going t’like y’suddenly,” he pouted.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and bit her lip. “I know you like me because I’m me, but I’ve never had the best self-esteem and I know that’s not good in itself, but I do pride myself as a really hard worker. I want to do well and get good grades, but I know it’s not...” she sighed and put a hand on her forehead. “I’m not making sense,” the frustration evident in her voice.

“Kitten,” Harry’s voice was so gentle but in one word he sounded so encouraging as well. It was like magic. “I want you t’do whatever makes y’happiest; whatever makes you the most successful. M’supporting you fully. One hundred percent,” he shrugged, grabbing his own backpack and pulling out a folder of papers. “If that means we are studying for a bit, then I want t’study.”

She was lucky she didn’t shout that she loved him from the top of her lungs right then.

*

At some point, her worksheets were set aside. The pizza was gone, her wine glass and a second one drained. The fire crackled in the background while Harry kissed her so deeply, she felt it in every cell of her skin. Part of her wanted to run outside and lay in the snow just to cool off how warm she felt from having Harry’s hands all over her body, under her shirt, in her pants.

Harry’s hands slid just an inch lower. “Kitten,” he hummed. He wasn’t trying anything it was just the way his hands shifted. The memory of that afternoon. Studying for physics. It wasn’t the same, not even a little. She felt so safe with Harry and yet her brain wouldn’t turn off. The way he touched her the last few months felt different than the way he touched her then.

She ripped away from him, falling to the floor beside the couch. Before he could utter a syllable or help her back up to the sofa, she choked out a gasp of surprise. “I’m sorry!” she cried. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I just don’t think—” She had a hand on her chest and Harry thought she was hyperventilating. He felt so horrible.

“Kitten,” he cooed gently reaching for her. “I’m—”

“No! Please don’t apologize, it will just make me feel even worse!” She croaked and covered her face briefly pushing the tears to either side of her cheeks. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You have been so patient, so—” she swallowed. “I’m just so stupid and I feel so horrible. I want to, I want to so bad but I don’t—”

“Oh my God,” Harry whispered. His voice was filled with shock piecing together what she thought he was going to do or say. The poor, sweet thing. “Baby,” he reached for her again.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” She sobbed. “It’s so stupid—I’m so stupid!”

“Kitten,” he tried once more wishing she would stop insulting herself. It only made him feel more terrible. He couldn’t imagine how she felt. “My love, please stop,” he begged very gently and grabbed her arms as softly as possible but firmly, so she stopped moving.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled. She was even beautiful when she cried. Harry couldn’t imagine his expression. It felt like a cross between a frown and sad smile. “I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“Please stop apologizing,” he brought his hands to her cheeks and pushed her tears away. “M’not mad or disappointed with anything,” he promised.

The silence was thundering loud. Eventually, when she uttered one syllable, her voice was so quiet he almost missed it. “No?”

It felt like she punched him right in the stomach. A single word question that broke his heart. “Of course not, kitten.”

She swallowed, swiped her tears away. “Oh,” she whispered. “Then... what—”

“I was going to tell you I love you,” he smiled at her. “A lot, really. ’Ve told y’before. ‘Ve never felt this way ‘bout someone the way I feel ‘bout you. I’ve been waiting for you for...” he shook his head. “Years. The second I bumped into you. I jus’ knew. M’so in love with you. It’s been very hard t’keep it t’myself all this time. M’sorry y’thought this weekend was something t’pressure you—kitten,” he stopped abruptly, looked her in the eyes and held her gaze so she would understand the sincerity of his next words. “We could never have sex a day in our life, and I would continue t’love you as much as I did the day I met you.”

Her jaw trembled like it did on the ride in that freezing truck parked outside. “You love me?” She whispered.

“Of course I do, kitten. What’s not to love?”

I made us have homework time on a weekend getaway, I don’t like drinking from red solo cups, I’ve never been drunk in my life, I haven’t had sex with you. But she kept all these thoughts to herself. “You really love me?” She repeated.

His smile was still sad, but he chuckled ever so lightly. “Yes, baby. I love you very much.”

“I love you too,” she whispered.

His face melted into a lazy smile. “Yeah?” He asked, completely awestruck. She nodded quickly, feeling at a loss for words. The fast beating of her heart made her woozy. “You’re sure? Not jus’ saying that because y’feel bad or... I know y’said you’ve never been in love before—”

“I’m very sure,” she promised. “I think I’ve loved you since you showed me where my class was,” she looked at him nervously. Like he would somehow take it back for how she fell in love so quickly after hardly knowing him. Instead, his already gentle gaze softened even more, and he kissed her softly, his lips brushing so gently against hers. It made her mouth tingle with wanting more but she wasn’t sure she could breathe properly to tell him that. They had kissed a lot in those three months but somehow this one made her unsure—as if he suddenly made her forget how to kiss. When he pulled away, she felt an ache in her chest like she wasn’t close enough to Harry. “Again,” she whispered. He smiled and slotted his mouth back between hers kissing her, almost harder, deeper. He pulled away carefully, cupping the back of her neck. “Again,” her voice was sure, but she looked flushed, nervous.

“Kitten,” he whispered, his face a little disapproving.

“I want to,” she promised.

“Kitten,” he repeated, stronger this time. Allie had texted him the previous night and all it said was Delete this after reading: you BETTER be good to her, or I will rip your throat out without an ounce of remorse. At the time he had wondered what prompted such an aggressive message. Things with Allie had been good. He felt he had her trust after all she knew about his past relationships. Maybe that was why she felt so at ease to send him the threat. In a way he was kind of grateful for it. Like a final note that she accepted him.

Of course, Allie.

Have a great weekend 😇

He laughed at the time, the duality of her best friend’s messages. But the previous one was gone, deleted and part of him wished he could show someone (not that he would) only because it made him smile.

All of it made sense now and he was not smiling. She shook her head, shame filling her entire body and promptly appearing all over her features. “I promise, I’ll stop if I don’t want to,” she swore. “Do you not want to?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he whispered so softly she barely noticed the curse in his phrase—like he had whispered I love you again. “Of course I want you, kitten,” he promised. “But we don’t have to. M’happy t’do whatever y’want for the rest of our lives,” he vowed. “Y’told me y’wanted a relationship. I told you I waited a really long time for you,” he reminded her. “M’not worried about any progression in our relationship except making sure you’re comfortable,” he promised. “You,” he held her face between his hands. Like she was made of something rarer and more fragile than glass. It made her stomach flip, her heart hammered in her chest, and she felt so adored in that moment, it felt indescribable. “You are perfect,” he murmured. “Completely. Just want t’keep y’warm,” he smiled.

There were a hundred reasons she didn’t feel good enough for Harry. But he was warm and safe. Regardless of what anyone had to say about him. “Harry?” She asked.

“Yes, kitten?”

“Have you ever... brought anyone here?”

“Only when I drive Mitch and Sarah.”

“So this is a first?” Her voice was stronger.

Harry felt his face contort into a smile of total admiration for her. “Yes. S’a first, love.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what, kitten?”

She shook her head. “Nothing, just... thinking about how much I love you,” she promised. “It’s a lot,” she admitted. “Kind of weird I’ve dreamed and dreamed about love and after so many years without it while all my friends fell in love... It’s...freeing.”

Harry sighed, wishing he could fully articulate how much adoration he had for her. “M’never letting you go,” he murmured, kissed her, and kissed her, and kissed her,

And kissed her,

And kissed her.

*

She was wrong about the sun. It was warm in the chilly bedroom. They were dressed again, but her body was entwined with Harry’s closely. It wasn’t normal to sleep like this, but she wanted to be close. Probably closer than she was with the clothes in the way. But a winter cabin, even with heat and a fireplace, was simply too chilly.

Plus, the sun streaming through the windows seemed to be magnified, warming the bed and sheets that Harry had the pair of them snuggled under. His finger drew imaginary lines up and down her back over her shirt. He kissed her forehead and sighed. “Good morning, love,” he murmured against her hairline. “Want some French toast?” He asked. She nodded. “Y’feel okay?” He wondered. She nodded again. “Tired?”  A third nod, but a more decided one. He kissed the top of her head again. “Y’want t’stay here?” She shook her head this time.

“No m’awake.”

“Y’sound awake,” he teased.

She sighed and rolled onto her back creating a rift of coolness to spread over him. He frowned, wishing he hadn’t teased her at all as this wasn’t preferable at all. “Do we have plans for today?”

He shrugged. “Had some ideas. But no. We can do nothing all weekend if y’want,” he promised.

Turning back to him, her smile was lazy, warm, and beautiful. “We better get started then.”

“Oh?” He smirked.

“Mmm,” she flung the covers back and reached back for him with an outstretched hand.

“Hey, kitten?”

“Yes’m?”

“I love you.”

Her shy grin was enough to make him thaw in the chilly cabin. His heart leapt to his throat while he watched her drop the outstretched hand. Instead, she crawled back across the bed so she could kiss him sweetly. “I love you, too,” she whispered. Finally, they meandered out of bed and she gazed out the window over the coating of freshly fallen snow. Not quite thick as a blanket, but beautifully undisturbed in the same way. “Do you think I’ll need a thicker coat while we’re out?” She asked looking at the battle of the clouds hiding the sun now and again. Harry walked up behind her after fixing up the fireplace for the morning.

He pecked her cheek, thinking about how she told him he had never been in love before. He wondered if he had ever been in love before her. “If y’don’t, I’ll keep y’warm.”

--

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[n0tamused]

Broken Memories

Genre: angst

A/N: More older stuff to post, hope you all enjoy. I did a quick proofread but knowing me I'll just say that there still may be some grammar mistakes :p

Lofty clouds sail over the Xianzhou Lofu, welcoming some distant warmth to befall the people after what felt like years and years worth of rain. Fresh air brings in the freshness which the rain left behind, feeling like a new slate of paper ready to be written on, but Blade just watches on in solemn silence. Tendrils of pain and ache make its way through his body in steady, continuous waves, not letting him relax, but not letting him move either. For him, only the present moment exists, and in a twisted way he is forced to accept it. His life knows no end, so he makes scarce peace with the present.

Remembrance of days already long and gone make their way to his head, when white locks fell down his back instead of raven black, and when he had friends to speak off, company to talk to, and dreams to dream about. In the long faded and broken memories he sees himself, Yingxing, strike a hot piece of metal over and over again until he gets it to the desired dimensions. Deft hands grab onto the pincers and tools and a bucket of cold water to mend the metal, and the process flows on effortlessly under his watchful gaze. Yingxing feels even more anxiety pool in his chest unlike he usually feels, his gaze fixated on carving the blade to have a more intricate design - this was no ordinary blade in the end, made to be given to some soldier or some higher up as compensation, no - it was a gift. It had to be perfect. Beyond perfect.

The dagger was curved and elegant, and in his hands it demonstrated to perfect balance between the point and hilt, and many little details were put into it in colors of gold and rose gold, your favorite gemstones, your favorite color in the leather grip, your favorite shapes, and about anything else he could incorporate into the dagger without overthrowing its aesthetic and its practical use. It shines beautifully under the pale sunlight, the rain clouds drifting away after days worth of rain. Yingxing smiles at his work, lifting it up above his head until he sees the reflection of his own eyes in the blade, full of mirth and under one eye there’s a smudge of charcoal. He can’t help the pride that makes his chest swell, and neither can he afford to wait for the following day to give it to you. So he makes quick work of packaging the blade and following the narrow roads, searching the entire city until he finds you and just gives the gift to you right then and there, in broad daylight with little introduction. Red paper is wrapped around the wooden box, not in the most skilled way, but in a caring way, and he relishes in the compliments you rain down upon him when he explains what it is, or even why he gave it to you. For once he feels really seen. His life-long mission is for once cast aside in favor of admiring this little side quest he ventured upon. And he feels like he could throw everything away if it meant seeing your joy every day. That evening you have invited him back to your home, served him tea and shared your events of the day, along with more passionate comments about the gifted dagger. 

Blade sighs, remembering your smile, your face, and he remembers how different it now looks in his distorted memories. He is forgetting.. He knows the face he sees in his memories is not the one he knew, he feels it in his bones and in his blackened heart. There is just something missing. The visage of his eyes can’t focus on your face nor the details of your clothes or your hands when they gripped his.

The broken dagger in his lap is unfixable - Yingxing is no longer here to mend it as before. Blade can only hold onto the essence of its memories until the whole world goes dark, and that says plenty of his grief and regret. His chin tilts down to look at the dagger, his finger jabbing at the broken blade as if it was a foreign object to him, something extra terrestrial, as if he didn’t pour his heart into it decades before. Perhaps he did pour his all into it, maybe that’s why the dagger followed the same fate as he did, as the smith poured a piece of his soul into his art. He can only hope the dagger does not represent you.. he hopes you’re out there, somewhere, happy, healthy, alive..

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[petermorwood]

The following is, according to @dduane,"Old man shakes fist at unpleasing-and-overpriced-pen-shaped cloud," so YMMV about any or all of it. :->

*****

As anyone who reads my blog will know, I'm interested in - among other things - history, movies, fantasy, cats and fountain pens, all of which get at least a mention in this post..

That's probably why, a couple of years back, a friend pointed me at a Montegrappa Limited Edition pen. Of course he may just have been curious to hear my reaction, and believe me, he certainly did. This post is the short version. :->

*****

The other day I saw it again, and was even more... Whatever the diametric opposite of "impressed" is, because mere "unimpressed" doesn't pack enough punch.

That Viking longship is both a display stand and a storage box, and I already knew the figure is the pen. Despite being described as "a perfect reproduction of a Norse soldier in miniature", historical Vikings didn't dress like that. There's plenty of evidence proving historical Vikings didn't dress like that. And yet...

IMO it's just ugly.

It's also $16,348 at current Rate of Exchange, so Expensive and ugly.

There's a gold version too, which on the website is "price by request", so I went looking elsewhere and here's what I found.

That converts to $224,959.82, so Way More Expensive.

And still ugly.

Some pages of the Montegrappa website are like a glimpse into the lifestyles of the Rich and Tasteless, showing a skewed talent for making expensive things look gaudy and cheap.

Maybe they're a gilty pleasure. (ouch)

Their sensible pens, however, are much more appealing and way less expensive (though most are still far from cheap). This is the Magnifica.

This is the Elmo 02 in "Croda Rossa".

And this is the Venetia in "Vintage Conifer".

I like them because they're shaped like what they're meant to be, as well as looking comfortable to hold and use. The Venetia is especially attractive. If King Thranduil of the Wood-Elves used a fountain pen, it would be one like that.

*****

Nakaya pens are also at the understated other end of the style-scale to exuberant, extravagant or execrable "Limited Edition" stuff, and here are three of my favourites.

"Cigar decapod twist" kuro-tamenuri (black top lacquer over red base lacquer)...

..."Cigar decapod twist" aka-tamenuri (solid dark red over red)...

...and "Cigar" tamesukashi neko (translucent dark red over red and maki-e gold cat)...

...which is a bit more elaborate, but no need to guess why I like it. :->

*****

They are a dream I have.

Because yeah, they're expensive too.

But dreams cost nothing. :->