#Idk drawing angry people is so fun

[premamelody]

ok last ones I swear

rip edgar kinda u wouldve loved dr robotnik ring racers in particular probably srb2kart more actually

[moldy-flowers]

"Sasuke and Sakura are in a loveless marriage."

Okay. Yall acting like Sasuke wouldn't just divorce her. I'm sure we've all learned by now Sasuke does what he wants and we all have to accept that what he wants to do is Sakura.

[summer-lovin-09]

I think being angry at, or disappointed in, Harry and Louis’ situation (continuing to stunt despite the resources and experience that they are likely to have by now) is a very human response. Like, yes, they aren’t 16 and 18 anymore. They don’t “need” Larries to be their voice as much as they once did. They are adults that can choose their own destinies (in the most uncomplicated sense of the matter). It doesn’t take a lot of critical thinking for one to start wondering what’s stopping them from coming out.

It sucks to feel like you’ve been weeding through massive amounts of ridicule (being a Larrie in a heteronormative fandom) just for more of the same bullshit to happen. It’s like someone telling you that your favorite fairytale never has a happy ending. Is it parasocial? Yes. Is it also the realest thing you’ve ever felt? Yes. I know people are jaded right now. Shit is a mess, and with everything that’s happened since last October, we are all starting to realize that time is limited. Anything can happen. Life is short. It’s heartbreaking to watch the fandom become smaller and smaller. It’s tough to see people that once loved the community start to hate it. And it’s discouraging to see once-hardcore believers lose faith.

With that being said, I implore you to not direct your feelings to Harry and Louis.

It’s wrong to sit around and claim that they would rather pretend to be straight than come out. Or say that Louis is immature and deeply closeted of his own volition. Louis’ character is coming into question a lot lately (with what’s-her-face in the picture), but that’s not an excuse to be homophobic and little-minded (yeah, I called it what it is).

Being ugly to H & L is wild, considering it’s their lives and their sexualities walking a tightrope. They are the people that suffer the consequences. WE ARE NOT THE VICTIMS. To us, we love them. We love them together. It’s fun to make fics and headcanons and draw connections and create theories. But, at the end of the day, when all is said and done, they are the ones that have to lay in the beds that were made for them. And if they had a part in making said beds, that’s their business. Not ours.

We don’t know what goes on behind the scenes. There may be far more at play than we can imagine. Who am I, or anyone else, to say that it’s completely safe for them to come out now?

The moral of the story: there is so much that we don’t know. Don’t make an ass out of u and me by assuming.

Idk, guys. Idk.

[sixstepsaway]

so here's the thing

i've seen a bunch of people say on twitter and stuff how... ed's behavior is very abusive and his anger is dangerous and he isn't romantic lead material because of it

and i get where they're coming from

but to me the main issue isn't putting ed in the position of a romantic lead, but not crafting the narrative around his characterization so that it allows for a spicy romantic pirates-in-love narrative instead of...whatever this is.

i'm going to try and explain this. idk if i'll do well but i'll try

the way she show presents stede is as an innocent baby who isn't really equipped for pirate life. he goes into a fugue/disassociative state whenever there's any real violence, apparently, and needs protecting by other characters when things get too rough - for example when ed is telling ned lowe not to take the poker to stede.

that's fine! it's honestly adorable to see a masc character being so soft around the edges and being protected by other characters this way.

(i'm not going to touch on stede's... eh... not great characterization this season rn)

then there's izzy, who is shown as a bit violent, a bit rough around the edges. he's more likely to draw a sword or throw a punch or hit someone with a chair or take a punch like a champ. violence is just part of life for him and that's okay, it just Is, from small things like smacking stede on the ass to bigger things like being wall slammed, it's not all that big or bad for violence to happen around and with him, he tends to give as good as he gets (there's some nuance here but i'm talking the macro themes not the micro of what izzy does vs is done to him)

and finally there's ed

ed is presented as violent (stabbing knives at guys, telling fang to use the snail fork etc) and used to a life of violence, and then in season 2 he's presented as really violent, his anger coming out in dangerous and terrifying ways

and frankly, i'd be super into it if he and izzy were the main ship and that twisted dynamic from the first two episodes of s2 was explored and fleshed out into something deeper

friends to enemies to lovers who fight and fuck. angry pirates who lay hands on each other, who break the whole ship with each other in the heat of passion.

except instead, s2 gives us... abuse. it gives us izzy cringing and lowering his head and trying to protect the kids crew from ed's angry outbursts.

so when stede comes back and he's still soft around the edges and ed headbutts him and it's deliberate, it's... not a great look, and the vibes are a bit skewed

if stede fought back, if when ed struck out at him he struck back, if they fought rather than it being one-sided, if it was friends to enemies to lovers and not presented as healthy, but maybe they can work their way there, who knows, maybe even more like anne bonnie and mary read because hey, they were doing something very similar?

except they were both into it. they were both enjoying the fighting and the fucking and the burning down the house.

stede's not enjoying it.

i cannot describe how much i hate this sequence just because of the way stede flinches

anne and mary don't!! mary jumps at the unexpected bang but she doesnt flinch, she doesn't cover her face like she thinks the vase will be coming for her not the wall and anne? looks so into it

and the thing is that in real life, no, you don't want to date someone who throws shit around, or headbutts you

but in fiction when it's two fucked up people doing this shit together like anne and mary?

that can be fun.

but instead what we've been given is stede flinching and apologizing to ed and then all of ed's...what, semi-redemption???? is done away from the other collection of people he abused, and then he spends some time on a fishing boat wearing a dog collar and everything is fine because he's good now and won't be doing anything bad ever again

and it's just... poor writing. the vibes are rancid.

i spent a really big chunk of time between s1 and s2 defending ed. i kept saying how what he did to izzy by making him eat his toe wasn't abuse, it was a one-off and abuse isn't a one-off thing it's a pattern, and then s2 made it a pattern.

explicitly. explicitly a pattern.

not just one toe but three.

jim saying "you're in an unhealthy relationship with blackbeard"

and all ed offered izzy was a "sorry about your leg" which might've been fine if izzy survived and they could work on this more, but instead that's all the apology and closure izzy will ever get

ed threw a chair and a vase and made stede flinch in fear and stede was right to do that. what part of any of this implies this will never happen again? that stede won't press the wrong button at some point and be on the receiving end? none of it

and if we'd been presented with a s2 stede bonnet who could handle himself and stand up for himself and fight back, then maybe i could imagine that turning into a weird sexy fucked up anne/mary like thing and maybe that could be why they put that episode in, but instead it feels like that episode was going, "look, see, ed's violence is fine because these two are fine with it with each other"

but stede isn't

ed and izzy or ed and stede in an unhealthy battle of a relationship could be such a fun, interesting and downright sexy thing to watch unfold on tv, and could honestly end somewhere far more down the chill end of the spectrum, but that's not what we've been given here

i cannot argue that ed isn't an abuser anymore, and not just of izzy but of the whole crew. he terrified frenchie.

it's not good writing to try and lean into the idea that ed and the pirates are violent and live a life of violence, so it's okay that ed's been violent, while simultaneously presenting his violence as traumatic and abusive, and then less than three episodes later saying oh it's fine now, he's just a little meow meow who can do no wrong, see?

especially considering they had him murdering people at the end of the season. and sure, you can say the english are just cannon fodder and they dont 'count', but they did before. ed explicitly did not kill before, and that included the english, or the spanish, or anyone else. so either they count or they don't, but flipping him on a dime makes no sense.

ALSO

having ed be the son of an abusive man who threw plates at his mother and made her cringe and then having ed kill his father to protect his mother and then a season later having ed become the kind of man who throws chairs and vases and makes his love interest cringe is, again, not bloody optimal

i want to say again i dont CARE about tv always presenting healthy relationships or tv always giving us aspirational goals. i want messy fucked up dynamics and terrible people making terrible choices, and still, to this day, i fucking love ed teach. i would honestly love to have seen them continue with ed's darkness and bring stede into it and see where they went with that, to have stede kill ned lowe and not just bury his feelings in ed but get off on it, enjoy the violence, and see where that led, but no

and so instead all we end up with is a protagonist who is being set up for a lifetime of abuse from an intimate partner, and a romantic lead who abuses his love interests (and yes. izzy is a love interest, he is set up like one and positioned like one and treated like one), frightens his love interests with his violence, is erratic and most of all inconsistently written. he was so sorry about scaring fang as though he hadn't been deliberately terrifying the whole crew for fuck knows how long? what?!

the whole fandom has spent so long saying, "no no, i know stede bonnet irl was a slave owner, but ofmd is using the names and not any real piracy, it's more disney piracy, you know? so that kind of stuff doesnt exist!" and then they flipped around and went "blackbeard is blackbeard and so he is evil and does all these horrible things" and i dont know how to rationalize the two sides of that because it feels so out of place

i'm getting rambly, this isnt a particularly well constructed thought process, i just feel like we were robbed both of a toxic, violent relationship that could be fun to see explored on tv and a soft and sweet love story between two middle aged men exploring their first loves in one fell swoop and there's no way for s3 to bring either of those things back because they got utterly torpedoed by making ed a horrible person

ugh

[archivedblog16]

man i thought the difference between pilot and show alastor couldnt be that bad but GOOD GOD. ots like night and day. i love pilot alastor and i miss him what did viv DO to this man. i cant believe im using this word to describe fucking ALASTOR, but pilot!alastor is so……. chill? he basically never gets evem mildly annoyed or angry, hes got a fun energy… idk, pilot!alastor would not care if people noticed he was missing. he’d show up to the overlord meeting after 7 years with a casserole like it was a potluck. he likes lame ass jokes thats so endearing i love powerful characters wih loser humor.

also interesting to note, it seems the contract between husk and alastor didnt like… exist? in the pilot? its mostly the way things are phrased. alastor just says hes “calling in another favor” and bribes husk to do it, and husks response suggests that he could have turned the offer down if he wanted to. and his specific conversation feels more like vitriolic friends- like he thinks alastor is annoying and thoughtless, but also knows him well enough to feel like he can yell at him and alastor wont hurt him over it. i like the dynamic they have in the pilot its actually very charming.

putting up missing person posters for pilot alastor.

The difference is completely night and day. Anon, you also have to factor in that Ken draws and Dave played a big part in the pilot. They made him goofy, fun, mysterious, and unpredictable. Pilot Alastor didn’t care about status (I still need to find that livestream where Vivziepop says but the pilot does illustrate that aspect very well).

Then once episode one official came out (which was written by Vivziepop) Alastor is shown not to take constructive criticism and acts more sarcastic. In the later episodes, Alastor is all about power, status, and his image. He wants to show off any chance he gets, gets petty/pissy when no one acknowledges his existence, and he is very egotistical.

I personally believe that’s how Vivziepop wanted to portray Alastor: a sarcastic, petty, egotistical radio man who craves power and status. But also has a mysterious side to him that no one should know about.

Regarding pilot husk and Alastor:

Honestly, I did like pilot husk and Alastor’s dynamic and shipped them.

[sunshine-and-rosiers]

intro post! <3

OOC: this is a rp blog for Pandora Rosier. if you don't like it, leave. my main blog is @siriuslyobsessed394. <3

hi my lovesss! I'm pandora! (she/her) <3

i'm pan (in name, sexuality, and preferred container in which to scramble eggs), a minor, a proud ravenclaw <i repeat, proud RAVENCLAW. Not Slytherin. Wow, some house pride that's not gryff or slytherin, that's wild>, a feminist, a fangirl, a theatre kid, a supporter of lgbtqia+ rights and an enormous nerd when it comes to care of magical creatures, herbology, divination, shakespeare, and science. If you've got a problem with any of that, I've got a problem with you.

my hobbies include painting, divination, drawing, reading, poetry, baking, making flower garlands, going for walks in the woods, studying animals, concocting potions, and making things explode.

i love to make more friends, and unless you're insulting my heritage/identity/friends, I'm chill with you.

people i know (under the cut)

OOC: um so im part of multiple rps so this is a lil confusing, but this group is mostly in a community, a lot less interacting blog-wise, so here we go!

people i know (from @werewolfadmirer’s rp / the muggle life)

rita - gossip queen, don't make her mad or she will come after you, dorm mate, love her <3

em - so chaotic, matches my freak, rlly smart, helps source the gossip, love her <3

@gorgeous-golden-gilderoy - Gil - honestly kind of a genius, could be top of the class if he tried, perhaps into a certain blonde gryff.

@xenophilius-the-strange - Phil - Amazing at transfiguration, super smart, amazing in zoology, he’s awesome. <3333

@marlz-mckinnon - lesbian rockstar quidditch bestie

@miss-lily-evans-potter - super smart, amazing in potions (i could never) and charms. love u girl. platonically. of course.

@marylicious - girl has an infinite supply of confidence and a bigger than infinite sense of style <3

@moony-lupin-rjl - insanely smart, very good at care for magical creatures, (somehow) loves chocolate even more than i

@w-o-r-m-t-a-i-l - really sweet tbh, nice guy, he’s great.

@prongspotter-s - siri's bff, despised by my brother's friendgroup, he seems nice tho, tbh idk what to think lol

@blacksheepoftheblackfamily - blows stuff up almost as often as i do, drama queen, theatre kid, bestie

@hestia-farida-jones - honestly just such a sweetheart. I really want to get to know her better <3

@little-star-regulus - istg kid get some SLEEP. probably not human but we love him for that. my bff <3

@evan-a-rosier - my idiot little brother (yes I can call you ‘little’ even if it’s only three and a half minutes, ev.)

@fartybartyjunior - future brother-in-law and possibly even more of an idiot, but also somehow a genius at the same time?? he’s rlly nice when u get to know him though.

cas - marls's gf, ev's friend, shes awesome, love her

@bitterandbruisedsev - ur alr ig.

@bellatrix-carina-black - bestie, murderous queen, probably fav cuz, love her.

@cissa-swans - she’s quiet but just as badass as her sis, fabulous, perfect child, love her

people i know from The Best Marauders Roleplay:

Siri: @poppy-petals18

James: @jfpotter-official

Reggie: @reggiebytes

Barty: @bartysguitar

Ev: @in-a-different-timeline

Lils: @werewolfadmirer

Mary: @lovelylilypad-s

Dorcas: @frolickinginthemeadowes

Sev: @snifellus

Bella: @astoria-nyx-moon

people i know from A Very Marauders Roleplay:

@siriusly-padf0ot - way too loud, impulsive, and destructive, that's why we're friends.

@star-of-lions - needs to take care of himself. also dont make him angry or he will kill your friends and family and your family's friends and your friends' families

@marlene-rp - scary feminist quidditch girl who's just a big softie on the inside (dont deny it marls)

@tortoiselove -

@loony-j-moony - very chill 28/29.5 days. also is very good care of magical creatures and takes very good notes.

@snifellus - actually rlly fun when you get to know him, been a bestie since forever <3

@regulus0cantswim0black - idiot number one. polar opposite of chill, will murder you just for funsies if you piss him off even a little, we love him for it

@in-a-different-timeline - idiot number two, my little brother. (yes i can call you little if it's just four minutes. dont argue ev, its a waste of time)

@james-loves-the-stars - one of the only people i know who would try to avoid going on a murder frenzy.

@d0rcas-in-the-mead0wes - savage, badass, has the best hair, ly girl (platonically ofc dont come after me marls)

@marymacdonaldxoxo - gorgeous diva, amazing fashion sense

@for-petes-sake - insanely good at herbology, hilarious, tells the best stories, good at cheering ppl up

@lumnarus - roomie, bestie, very smart, ly

@astoria-nyx-moon - bestie, murderous queen, love her <3

[barblaz-arts]

Hello!

I would like to start with the fact that your art style is amazing, same goes for the design of the characters. (They look yummy tbh)

I have been wondering if you ever got some kind of art block, if yes what did you do?

If you see this, I hope you have a great day.

Thank you!

Most of the time, when I wanna draw but cant quite know WHAT i wanna draw, I redraw stuff. Like, screenshots. Or old drawings. Or even memes. Those are especially fun for drawing expressions I might not usually draw. Or I take scenes from fics I like or fics I've written and draw them. It helps that I get to move my pen with only half the brain power needed to picture what I want drawn.

But sometimes when I really cant overcome it, I usually just wait it out. Do my other hobbies like read or write or churn up another meta analysis. You cant force yourself to overcome that block sometimes and that's ok.

Oh but sometimes tho! Something that works unintentionally is when I'm like really really upset. I dont like to show it much, bcuz I understand that I'm getting old and I have a significant amount of followers that I dont wanna be a bad example to... But I can have quite a temper on me and can get really petty. But instead of exploding, I try to draw with those feelings.

Like, a while ago, I got really upset about stuff with an AI art fraud. And im just like, you know what this person can claim they're an "artist" all they want, but they still havent even shown a paper drawing as concrete proof. all just excuses and shit. The next moment I drew this, just to reassure myself that I'm an artist and I know what being a real artist is. That unlike AI frauds, I can show I dont need a computer to draw. All I need is a pencil and paper and I'm good.

(Then I proceeded to draw more than I usually do on paper because of that lmao)

And then when Youtooz came with an announcement that they're gonna release four figurines, half of which was 2 versions of Alastor and NO sign of Vaggie, I drew four Vaggies. Yes. I drew all this angry. Until yunno. I got so happy over how nice this ended up looking instead.

And then the last art I posted with the Harem Hotel AU? That's been in my drafts since november but I only got to finish it recently because I got upset over all the people in my notifs leaving hate comments about Vaggie lmao. Just told myself that they can claim to be objective critics who arent misogynistic, but at the end of the day all they could do is leave mean comments on twitter. Meanwhile, I can create! It's borderline horny gay shit, but hey! At least I'm doin' something productive! I can show female characters like her are are worth so much love to the point of making art!

Just. Idk. Maybe next time you feel negative feelings and shit, use art as the outlet for that negativity. Make something out of it. It doesnt have to be pretty, but hopefully it could make you feel good.

Or you know. Like I said, just wait it out.

[bunnygirllover45]

Idk if anyone has asked about this before… buttttt what’s the lore abt one and magical girl,,, They were the first thing you posted on this blog I’m sure about it.

the magical girl is so lovely!

Yep haha, been posting abt them for a while. The lore is pretty simple, after all, they're OCs that I draw just for fun (and bc I love magical girls); Usami one day found this weird guy while rescuing some people in a shady van, saw the poor guy, and decided to bring him home, One doesn't remember abt himself and it's a little... weird, sometimes he acts like a dog (or a very angry cat, it depends on his mood.) And now the poor girl has to deal with her new... partner in crime?? mascot?? sidekick?? who worships her like a goddess.

and yeah, Usami is really lovely! I love my precious girl.

[princess-angelheart]

regressor aubrey board <3333 (long post warning)

click for better quality

i kind of combined 2010s/2000s girliness and made it aubrey themed,.,. (headspace) aubrey is actually very emblematic of my regression to me so it's kind of me but mostly her??? so this is like 6-8 year old regressed aubrey, like meeeee even though a lot of people see her as a cg :0 which surprised me

anyways i think i threw bunnies up all over this my bad guys there's too many

pngs made by me, people on tumblr, from omori stickers/art book, or sourced from websites (for example, the emojis are from an emoji website)

this took me a couple days but i realy went slow with it. wanted to enjoy the process and really take my time with this so id love it, and i DO, I'M OBSESSED, IT WAS SOOO fun to make and look at all the toys and food and idk i love regressor aubie she's so me

i wish i knew what to do for a border or how to add glitter :((

i had a hard time picking a song for this, a lot of omori songs make me regress aksfdm but i went with flamingo by kero kero bonito bc i LOVE KKB but also pink is mine and aubie's fav colour soooo x3 makes sense!! i have this song on my regression playlist i wonder if i should do any other characters???? if u guys want u can give me suggestions. i know i'll for sure do noelle deltarune

okay okay i know you're just here to read the details of the graphics and pngs x3 here you go!!!!

graphics scattered around: forest bunny, mostly food bunnies too, basil's gladiolus flowers from his house and console attacks, eggplant stickerz, some flashback stuff from the final duet flashback also there clothes and stuff (top left): pink raincoat + rainboots from the flashback, bunny sweater, tamagotchi, candy bracelet/other bracelet, hello kitty bandaids, hairbrush and hairclips/butterfly clips because mari said she took care of her hair, pink hair dye, bunny earrings, hobbeez kitty keychain, stardew valley bunny, umbrella basil, pvz melonpult, watermelon charm, striped socks, bead name, omori stickers, claire's lip gloss, rainbow rubber bracelets that i had irl, eepy aubrey, powerpuff girls logo, my little pony logo, girl power button (i wanted more of thse but couldn't find), food (bottom left) watermelon (of course), mac and cheese, pb&j, fruit snacks, fruit punch juice box, slurpee/snow cone, mari's cookie, goldfish crackers, bunny cupcake, pancakes, apple juice sticker, hobbeez logo, hobbeez yellow kitty keychain clothes and stuff (top left): pink raincoat + rainboots from the flashback, bunny sweater, tamagotchi, candy bracelet/other bracelet, hello kitty bandaids, hairbrush and hairclips/butterfly clips because mari said she took care of her hair, pink hair dye, bunny earrings, hobbeez kitty keychain, stardew valley bunny, umbrella basil, pvz melonpult, watermelon charm, striped socks, bead name, omori stickers, claire's lip gloss, rainbow rubber bracelets that i had irl, eepy aubrey, powerpuff girls logo, my little pony logo, girl power button (i wanted more of thse but couldn't find), food (bottom left) watermelon (of course), mac and cheese, pb&j, fruit snacks, fruit punch juice box, slurpee/snow cone, mari's cookie, goldfish crackers, bunny cupcake, pancakes, apple juice sticker, hobbeez logo, hobbeez yellow kitty keychain

school scene (bottom left) gave aubrey a tiara and kel devil horns and tail because i think she'd do that. and omori has a bow and a spider bunny on his desk and kel has a bun bunny climbing up him. middle bottom: I TIHNK THE AUBREY DRAWING IS FROM THE STOP AAPI HATE STREAM DRAWING? and then omori is sitting in the stump. i gave the bunny a halo too. and then there's an angry bunny, watermelon popsicle, and mr plantegg!! ty bunny plushie, susie deltarune, another pvz melon, aubie and mr plantegg both have pacis now,!!!! and she has a bracelet, bunny pajamas, pink and teal nail polish, baseball bat, birthday + zodiac, effects of anger emotion from the emotion drawing hero made, angel bunny from mlp photos (bottom-mid right) HERO TAGPHOTO YAY with some buttons and washi tape, stickers, i made his buttons flower shaped and put a bunny and bow on him, and aubrey's cheer thing is there too. kel has a slime bunny on his head and aubie has a forest bunny. then in the hobbeez photo i gave everyone face paint and put sprinkles in aubrey's hair liike a doughnut, then the popsicle picture has a bunch of grapes and watermelons on it bc of the flavours toys (top right) bunny plushies, aubrey plushiue, kite from the game, MINECRAFT EVERYWHERE, webkinz, tea set, american girl doll with a dress and toy food, webkinz, calico critterz, play makeup, hobbeez ball, slinky, and sticky hand, two kinds of crayons and a colouring sheet, easy bake oven, base ball, cutie alarm clock,

yah if i forget anything i'll come back and add it x3

ignore the obscene amount of tags i just am so proud of this yah okay baiii

[theoretically-writing-fics]

Hello I am currently in class and bored out of my mind so here's how I think every tts/vat7k character would draw. Also I included my OCs cause they infect my brain

Rapunzel: Really good with both watercolour and acrylics (is it acrylics that she used? Idk historical accuracy is dead in this series and I don't know paint despite being an artist). She also occasionally uses coloured pencil. She sometimes does lineart, sometimes doesn't, and can draw pretty much anything! Also likes to draw designs for clothes or jewellery she can make.

Eugene: Cannot draw for shit, as seen in season 2, ep 4 (in what world was that a gopher, that was a dinosaur bud). Rapunzel does teach him often, and he is slowly but surely getting better! Whenever he draws himself, he makes himself look exaggeratedly handsome (which he is, but that's besides the point).

Cassandra: Also can't draw. Never really saw a reason to learn, but Rapunzel also insisted on teaching her.

Lance: Reeeally can't draw. Like worse than Eugene and Cass. He has fun though, and that's all that counts.

Varian: Good with sketching, but can't turn it into a finished piece to save his life. Great at capturing specific details in a persons face. He mostly draws blueprints and diagrams, but I once saw a headcanon where he draws team radical in the margins of his journal and I love that. He would def draw his friends and Ruddiger but he'd label them like diagrams because why not?

Angry: Can't draw. Tried and then ripped the paper.

Catalina: I really don't know. I feel bad for not knowing because I love her but I seriously can't figure it out.

Hugo: Self-taught, much like Rapunzel and Varian. He never grew up with many art supplies, so he learned to draw with charcoal, and grey lead pencils literally the size of his hand. He can also sorta culpt, and Rapunzel taught him watercolour, which he did like. He draws realism, but even more realistic than Varian. He only draws people close to him, such as Varian, Olivia, Donella, and Livvy (OC). Took this from a headcanon I found, but I don't remember who wrote it, sadly. Also he draws clothes to make, but he's not all that good at sewing.

Nuru: Can draw star charts, spell circles, and often tried to recreate/redesign old tapestries. She's not the best artist, but again, she has fun!

Yong: Draws straight on the paper with sharpies and highlighter. Eats the pencils.

OC time!!

Livvy: Would absolutely draw in a chibi style. Thinks Hugo's art is incredible (which it is), and Hugo would try to teach her some things! (I'm projecting here because I'm the artist of my family and my sister often gets me to teach her, and Hugo is literally me and my sister was a big inspiration for Livvy).

Melody: New dream kid #1, so she knows how to paint. Talented at drawing perspective.

Ryder: New dream kid #2, but this time he's a massive interior design freak.

Sofija: Varigo kid #1, and they both taught her how to draw. Despite how adorable and innocent she seems, she draws the most fucked up and gory stuff with a whimsical little smile on her face.

Niko: Varigo kid #2, but he prefers to write poetry rathet than create visual art.

Okay this was a lot but I'm done now :D This isn't EVERY character but no way I'm writing for every character (maybe in the future)

[tempestmothstorm]

ok ok so I was just going to draw long haired Sayori but then I came up with a bunch of elementaryish aged designs and now I came up with a bunch of headcanons and more sketches so woohoo lots or text under cut open for more headcanons (also idk why tumblr made the image change quality that is not the same colour or quality I had it in)

Yknow for some reason I just can’t imagine Natsuki being like a happy kid in the past like at all. I think it’s like a “kid who obviously has a bad home life and acts out because of it but nobody’s gonna to actually try to do anything about it so they just put her in detention” kinda vibe. I don’t think anyone outright hates her since she probably would have brought it up in base game/side stories, but she isn’t exactly a beloved member of the school either

In the side stories she talks about being very different in the past and specifically going through a really edgy ‘I hate everyone phase’ in middle school. This isn’t a middle school headcanon but I feel like her being kinda bitter before the total edgy phase makes sense.

I think in contrast to her having a super defined sense of self present day, Natsuki here was a lot more identityless and unsure about what she wants. She gets really into cutesy stuff in the future but here she leans a lot more into the angry side of her because she doesn’t really understand a lot of what she’s feeling. It’s why I didn’t really give her a unique hairstyle, if she had something she’d actually like I don’t think she would have changed it to the pigtails

Also her clothes are kinda bad and has a hole in her sleeve since she doesn’t really get a lot of clothes due to obligatory ~home life angst~ but this post isn’t about that so

She gets into manga pretty early but just kinda enjoys it casually on a surface level thing. She drops it for a bit before picking it back up, and suddenly understanding what plot and themes are lead to her going insane about it until present day.

She’s into skating because I said so

It also makes a great explanation for why she gets a broken arm and why she always has a bunch of bandaids :))))))))

Ok I might also just like giving character designs bandaids

Tbh I forgot if they said Natsuki’s friends met in middle school or not but I think it still applies since they probably knew her through every cringe phase she had (including the fanfics). But either way they were probably one of the few people to actually give Natsuki a chance which is part of why she puts up with their bullying so much. Throughout every phase she might have had they made fun of her every step of the way, to the point she’s just kinda used to it now. Doesn’t help that she thinks her old self was cringe, so by present day she just assumes she deserves whatever bullying she gets from them. Girl needs to have compassion for her past self. And present self tbh

While Natsuki was cringe in the ‘I hate everything’ way, Yuri was cringe in the ‘I am a massive nerd for cringe pieces of media and am going to make everyone aware of that fact’. At least that’s how they see themselves now

She’s a lot more open to talking about her interests. She can and will yap to random people with little to no prompting because she hasn’t really learned yet that people would be put off by it

She’s not overly social but more willing to chat with others with a polite and friendly attitude. She hasn’t been hurt yet so she is filled with joy and whimsy and is overall more cheerful compared to present day

She has her hair like that so I could give the vibe of ‘cheerfully annoying and/or adorable☝️🤓’ nerd archetype instead of ‘would rather become a speck of dust than talk to a person’ nerd archetype. Her hair is generally more dishevelled to show she’s more naive and less elitist I guess. She also isn’t as good at taking care of her hair yet so it looks kinda bad in a charming way(her school would not agree)

Her bangs being up with the headband shows her being more open and willing to be vulnerable to others in a way that’s lost in present day, where her long bangs hide a lot of her face in that one sprite. Her forehead is a metaphor 😭

I don’t really have parent headcanons but the cardigan is from her mom. I just think it’s cute

Random headcanons idrk where else to put but since that one act 2 sprite just borrows the teeth from Natsuki I like to think her teeth is also weirdly sharp it just doesn’t stick out as much. People think her teeth are creepy though so she tries not to smile with her teeth. She doesn’t care to smile like that anyways since she doesn’t really know how to in pictures (me projecting) and her natural smiles are a lot more subtle/don’t show teeth so it’s all fine.

Stating the obvious here but she was totally outcasted by like most of her school. Most people thought she was weird and her enthusiasm off-putting so they’d try avoiding her. She doesn’t really know why they think she’s off-putting though, people just start avoiding her for no reason. A few would go out of their way to bully her too, which ont added fuel to the iscolation fire, which ended up give her massive vulnerability and self esteem issues. Shocker ik. It takes a while to fully break her down from here to her high school self but it does mess her up a lot even then. At this specific point in time though she stills has her innocence so dw it’s fineeeeeee

Her anxiety issues are also there but she still has enough of a positive attitude to go ‘hey this sucks but maybe this time talking about my interests will work and they’ll actually like me!’ even if it didn’t work the last time. She doesn’t really know how else to talk to people so she keeps trying the same thing hoping maybe this time it’ll work out.

Uh.

things get worse. you probably know that

Sayori still the sillyyyyy

But tbh she probably changes the least compared to present day. I mean she gets more mature and less starry eyed but her mask is basically the same as her kid self. I don’t have as much to say on that specifically cause compared to the rest she doesn’t change that much

Yeah Understanding said she used to have long hair but cut it since she couldn’t really take care of it. I feel like even before the depression got worse she sucked at taking care of it because she has the self proclaimed attention span of a donut. Her hair is really scruffy and if you tried to comb it would probably hurt a lot. So she doesn’t ever

Her and mc are still the the goofy-goober and straight man dynamic they have in base game. Sayori drags mc into some shenanigans and mc tries to help her get out of trouble. He also has less of an ‘I don’t want to be seen with this cringe’ attitude he has a bit of in the base game since he isn’t as concerned with reputation because he’s like 7, so he’s more open with being directly nice to her. He acts a lot more genuinely with their friendship overall compared present day where he finds it a lot harder to earnestly share his appreciation of Sayori as a cool sigma male

A lot of their banter is light hearted, but Sayori doesn’t start interpreting his teasing for actual criticism of her character until a little later into their relationship. His jokes probably hurt more in hindsight when they do end up drifting apart because his lighthearted jokes stated feeling more real.

It’s sorta implied in side stories that there was a point where everyone found out about her depression and was worried constantly about her. It probably was from an old friend group considering nobody else seems to know about it, but I feel like mc drifted apart before that considering he doesn’t know. I think they became friends again by sides stories, but considering he doesn’t act like he’s as concerned for her well-being as he is by the end of act one, he probably wasn’t there when everyone else found out and therefore doesn’t know about the depression here either. Idk though side stories have different continuity apparently so who knows maybe that never happened or maybe he’s just stupid

Yeah of course she still has depression here. It probably got worse over time though since I feel like her constant silly oblivious persona would have came from somewhere. She is naturally pretty upbeat, it’s just that she had to lie more over time in order to keep that idea going. Now she feels like that old her is basically dead, with her just masquerading as someone who isn’t there anymore.

She’s like the only one here who has a positive opinion of her past self, to the point where she actively wants to go back and be that person. In a way she still is that little kid, but at the same time things can never go back to how they were. Uh yeah but she still hates herself so I guess no one gets to reap the rewards of caring for their past self.

She also trips constantly. I don’t think it’s that surprising

Since Monika has the least specific info on her past I got to be a bit silly about it and make up as much as I wanted.

She is like completely different from her present self. Similar to Natsuki she’s also sorta identityless but in a weird quiet gifted kid sorta way instead of an angry lost child sorta way.

She’s pretty quiet and doesn’t talk much. With a pretty expressionless face and more deadpan voice she kinda gives creepy horror movie child vibes but the type of child that appears before the horror actually starts (which is to say not actually scary but just kinda weird) (I just realized a lot of this is just me projecting what I was like as a kid but with less prep energy)

Yeah she’s extroverted but at this point she doesn’t really seek out people until she starts actively trying to boost her image

She doesn’t really have many hobbies outside of being a teacher pet and if it weren’t for her stellar grades she totally would of been bullied, but she’s nice enough to help people study so she’s safe

She isn’t really the most popular in school until high school. She does start out as the token prodigy gifted kid so everyone expected her to excel in everything so on a whim she’s like ‘ok guess I’m doing everything now’ and it’s totally not going to alter the course of her life forever

She likes the validation and wants to live up to the expectations so she starts leaning super hard into the perfect image. She gradually starts joining clubs, getting cool achievements, studying for those straight A+ grades, talking to people and networking, and overall changing her image from quiet kid to strong confidence friendly student who’s going to go far. Awesome

She kinda had to train herself to not be weird creepy child and would practice smiling, facial expressions, being more sociable, talking less deadpan, etc. She has a lot of “fake it till you make it” vibes in the side stories to the point I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it. I imagine her going from weird little kid to most popular high schooler around was like wearing the mask until it became the real thing.

Tbh this whole design started because I really like the headcanon design of her bangs covering her eyes. And then I gave her a stripped shirt because it felt generic but also not boring but it ended up making her look like one of the seven human souls lol

Honestly if I could describe her vibe here in one sentence it would be utdr protagonist but like in prep school

ok that’s it idrk how to end this but thanks for watching hit the like and subscribe and

[atalienart]

Every social media is so dead for me. I go to insta, it's just shorts and reels of random things and tons of posts from people I don't even follow. I don't want to watch videos, I want photos. I go to twitter and omg what even is this site anymore. It's just junk. I follow artists but I don't ever see anything from them, just tons of angry people being angry about everything all the time. Like... I get it, I am too, but sometimes it's too much. And even when I go to "people I follow" on both of those sites it shows me the same few posts. On tumblr... it's just idk, there's nothing that interests me anymore. And of course everywhere there's just tons of bots I don't want to read or interact with. And I know I don't post that much these days but also, I don't feel much joy in posting my art because it always feels like I throw things into a huge black hole from which nothing comes back. Besides I don't think I can offer anything engaging since I'm not into drawing fanart anymore. Anyway, I wish I didn't suck at human interaction. Maybe if I did more myself I'd make it work but I have so little energy it lasts only to fuel my excitement for writing a few words of my stories every other day. It seems I can't find more to make other people excited about my stuff too. Sometimes I really miss the hp and sherlock days. Even my ghost story appeared to be more fun for people. :) Now it feels like I'm alone in my ball pit.

[ephemeral-love-4]

Captivated

── .✦ Avis Amberg X Reader

જ⁀➴ A/N : This is the concerningly short sequel of mesmerised!! Uh, idk what else to say, guys..

╰┈➤Chapters : 1/3

Word count : 3k

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

July 25th, 1948

I woke with a pounding behind my eyes— an angry, throbbing headache that pulsed in rhythm with the ache in my chest. My throat was dry, my skin sticky with sweat and shame. I didn’t need to open my eyes to remember what I’d done.

What was wrong with me?

Why had I gone to her?

Why had I kissed her?

And why did her lips feel the same as they used too?

I forced myself to sit up, the silk sheets tangling around my legs as the room tilted slightly. The air smelt like my perfume mixed with the scent of Whiskey and regrets. I pressed a hand to my temple, trying to will the night away; It didn’t work

I staggered into the bathroom. The light above the mirror flickered before holding steady, casting an unforgiving glow over my reflection. My hair was a mess, my lipstick smeared at the corners of my mouth like a smirk gone sour. Mascara ran faint shadows beneath my eyes.

I gripped the edge of the sink to keep from falling apart entirely.

How was I supposed to face her today?

How do you look someone in the eye after accusing them of desiring your younger self… after comparing them to your shit excuse of a husband?

I splashed my face with cold water, bracing myself as the chill cut through the heat in my cheeks. I tied my robe tighter around my waist, drawing myself up.

I am Avis Amberg.

A name people whispered in envy and fear.

I can survive anything.

May 26th, 1935

I lay awake in bed, staring at the empty space beside me where Ace used to sleep, before business trips became more important than warm limbs and whispered conversations. The sheets on his side were cold, unbothered, like he’d never been there at all.

The silence of the house was broken only by the gentle tick of the grandfather clock and the occasional creak of the wood settling. I turned to my side and stared out the window, watching moonlight paint silver lines across the polished floor.

Claire was asleep in her crib across the room, her tiny body curled beneath a knit blanket. She was breathing softly, undisturbed by the world’s cruelties. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and crossed the room to her. My silk nightgown brushed the floor as I moved, the hem weighted with exhaustion.

I leaned down and gently caressed her soft cheek. She stirred, lips parting with a little sigh, and turned away from my touch. Recoiled.

I frowned.

Another person who couldn’t stand my touch.

Yet

She was beautiful. So young. So untouched by the world.

She reminded me of Y/N.

Y/N, with that defiant spark in her eye and those capable hands that used to know every inch of my body like a map worth studying.

Y/N, who used to fill my nights with laughter and cigarette smoke, tangled limbs and breathless whispers.

Y/N, who once looked at me like I was art.

Now she was too busy conquering Hollywood. Too busy smiling on magazine covers and shaking hands at award ceremonies. Too busy charming every man and woman in the room, including my husband. Especially my husband

Because of course he favored her.

He didn’t look at me anymore— not since the pregnancy. Not since I became soft, emotional, worn down by motherhood and the brutal intimacy of being needed by someone who couldn’t speak.

He called me horrendous behind closed doors. Told me I was different now. That I “used to be fun.”

But Y/N? She was still radiant. Still clever and sharp, still everything I used to be before I started playing the role of “wife.”

And now they work together. He’d hired her after I introduced them, after I foolishly vouched for her talent, thinking it would bring us closer.

But all I did was hand him the one woman who could outshine me without even trying.

Y/N who used to look at me like I was the only thing worth staying for was now collecting trophies like I once collected love letters.

Maybe she had stopped waiting.

Maybe I had, too.

But I never stopped looking.

July 25th 1948

I open the car door and step onto the set.

The Golden Tip gas station stands like a monument— chipped gold paint, flashy signage, and a history. I used to come here for quick thrills with nameless boys, the kind who smelled like cigarettes and sweat and didn’t ask questions. Now it’s a movie set.

I scan the surroundings, the actors, the crew, Henry, Ernie. And of course, Y/N.

Next to Archie, a script clutched loosely in one hand, the other gesturing mid-sentence. She laughs at something he says. It’s a performance, of course. It always is with her. Even when the cameras aren’t rolling, she knows how to play the part of the confident starlet. Untouched. Unbothered. As if last night was nothing but a forgotten rehearsal.

I lean against the hood of my car, shielding my eyes from the sun. A movie about homosexuals, about the shame of hiding, the weight of silence. It’s bold. Groundbreaking, even. But we’ve broken the world with “Meg” and now we’re about to break it again; America may never admit it, but it’s obsessed with the very things it claims to hate.

Y/N’s gaze flicks to me, just for a second. Barely enough to register. But I see it.

Before I can step forward, Ellen bounds up to me, all bright smiles and enthusiasm. “Avis! The production’s going wonderfully. We’re about to shoot the first reel!”

I raise a brow. “Already? We only started filming a few weeks ago.”

“We did.. but the cast is phenomenal. And Y/N’s been a tremendous help.”

Of course she has.

“She’s a natural-born actress,” Ellen continues, oblivious to the storm rolling behind my eyes. “She keeps everyone inspired with the way she delivers her lines.

I hum, my lips curving into a razor-thin smile. “How fortunate for you all.”

Before she can continue her love letter to Y/N’s professionalism, I cut her off. “I should get back to the studio. I have other films to oversee.”

Ellen blinks, her smile faltering just slightly. “Oh! Of course, still up for lunch later?”

I offer a brisk nod, already halfway turned away.

I slide into the driver’s seat, shut the door, hand on the ignition, ready to escape. But just as I reach for the gearshift, I see her.

Y/N.

She’s at the passenger door, leaning against it like she belongs there. Like she’s always belonged there.

“Avis,” she says softly, as though she’s testing the taste of my name again. It slips from her lips like an afterthought, but I know better. There’s weight to it. History.

I don’t respond at first. I let my eyes drift over her, slow and calculated. She’s calm. Impossibly composed. If last night rattled her, she doesn’t show it.

“You’re good at pretending,” I say finally, voice low. “Not even a twitch this morning. Impressive.”

She doesn’t flinch. “You left. What was I supposed to do? Chase you down the street?”

I smirk without humor. “No. That’s never been your style.”

The silence between us is thick. The kind that holds history. The kind that remembers.

“You were drunk,” she says after a pause. “I didn’t want you to wake up hating me.”

“I don’t hate you,” I snap, quicker than I intend. My voice wavers at the end. God, how I wish I could hate her.

She tilts her head slightly, studying me. The same way she used to when we were young, back when she still believed she could read me like a script.

“I just hate how you make me feel like...” I trail off. I don’t finish. I can’t. Instead, I avert my gaze, biting down hard on the inside of my cheek.

She shifts, like she’s about to say something— something sentimental, something stupid, something that’ll make me crumble. And so I raise my hand, palm out. A quiet, universal signal to stop.

“No,” I say firmly. “I have a studio to run. I can’t afford to spend my time thinking about... you.”

But I do. All morning, I’ve thought of nothing but her. How her lips tasted, how her voice cracked when she tried defending herself, how she looked at me like I was worth more than any oscar she’s won.

Y/N nods. Her expression is unreadable now. God, she was a good actress. “Have a nice day, Avis.”

And just like that, she turns and walks away. Back to the set. Back to Archie. Back to everything that isn’t me.

I grip the steering wheel tightly, fingers white around the leather. The engine hums beneath my feet. I could call her back. I could shout her name, beg for one more moment. But I don’t.

Instead, I drive. Back to the studio. Back to a desk full of scripts and paperwork and decisions. Back to the only place where I can drown her out again.

April 12th 1933

She’s haunting me. And it’s all my fault.

I was the one who introduced her to Ace. I was the one who sang his praises, painted his studio as salvation. I practically shoved the pen into her hand. I told her it was the opportunity of a lifetime. And now? Now she’s everywhere.

Y/N. Hollywood’s darling. The starlet with the eyes made for close-ups. She glows brighter than any marquee she stands beneath.

“One damn film and she’s suddenly America’s sweetheart,” I mutter to myself, sitting alone at the kitchen table. My hands twist anxiously around a glass of water, condensation pooling beneath my fingertips. I can’t even get drunk anymore. The weight of pregnancy has robbed me of that particular escape, too.

All I can do now is sit. And think. And remember.

I am changing. Again.

Becoming what I once feared. What I used to mock in the dressing room mirrors of my youth. A wife. A mother. I am slipping into a role I didn’t audition for, and every night I watch the woman who used to be my entire world live the life I gave up.

I should be happy for her. God, I try to be.

But the words curdle on my tongue before I can swallow them.

I tell myself it’s just hormones. Mood swings, cravings, irrational jealousy. That’s what all the books say. But it’s not. It’s something deeper. It’s something raw. Something knotted around my ribs like barbed wire.

It’s envy.

Real. Vicious. Rotting envy.

It’s in my blood now. It coats every bone in me with its sticky bitterness. It blinds me every time I see her on a magazine cover or hear her name in someone else’s mouth. The girl who used to share cigarettes with me on fire escapes. The girl who used to sleep in my bed when she was too drunk to get home. The girl who kissed me behind the scenes, whispered dreams in the middle of the night.

Now she’s a billboard. A headline. A statue molded out of everything I lost.

I push the chair back with a frustrated scrape and rise to my feet. The house is too still. Too clean. Too curated. The kind of silence that makes your thoughts echo.

Where am I going? I don’t know. I just need air. Something real.

Ace, of course, is nowhere to be found. He only comes home when the press demands it. When appearances must be maintained. The rest of the time, he’s at the studio. His little kingdom basking in the glow of her. He speaks of her brilliance with a spark in his eye I haven’t seen in months. Not when he looks at me.

Not since I started to show.

I press a hand to the slight swell of my stomach as I slip outside, barefoot on the flagstone. The garden greets me with its strange, moonlit serenity. It’s one of the only places in this house that feels alive.

Ace had it planted just after we were married. Rows and rows of roses. His idea of a grand romantic gesture. Deep reds, soft pinks, blinding whites. A symbol of his “eternal love.” As if love could be measured in quantity.

And yet, nestled among the sea of roses is something else. Something rarer.

A single bush of carnations.

I walk toward it, my fingertips grazing the petals as I pass. The roses are bold, predictable. Dramatic, like him. But the carnations; they’re delicate. Frilled and quiet. They don’t beg for attention. They just exist, graceful and enduring.

I stop before the carnation bush and crouch, placing a steadying hand on my belly as I pluck one of the blooms. Pale pink. Almost white. It rests between my fingers like a memory I forgot I still had.

Y/N sent them.

I remember now. A letter attached to a small packet of seeds, years ago. Back when she still wrote me long letters from hotel rooms and sound stages. Before her words became brief and empty. Before Ace turned her into a commodity.

Why?

Why did she send carnations?

They’re not dramatic. Not loud. They’re not red like passion, or white like purity. They’re the in-between. A flower of devotion, yes— but also mourning. Remembrance.

They were us, weren’t they?

Back when the world was smaller and kinder. When the nights belonged to us. Before the fame and marriage got in the way. When I still believed there was space in my life for desire. For softness. For her.

I bring the carnation to my nose, inhaling its faint scent. It’s not sweet like a rose. It’s subtle. Easy to miss unless you know what you’re looking for.

Did she know I’d plant them? That they’d survive?

Did she want me to remember her every time I passed them in the garden?

I clutch the flower tightly and press it to my lips, eyes burning against the cool night air.

God, I miss her.

Just not the woman she is now, the one who glows beneath camera lights and signs autographs in gold ink.

I miss the girl she used to be.

And the girl I used to be with her.

July 30th 1948

“You actually managed to get the first reel? Colour me surprised and insanely impressed,” I smiled at Raymond, even as my fingers grazed the edge of the metal canister like it might cut me.

“It’s just the first few minutes of the film,” Raymond explained, eyes still bright with the buzz of creation. “But the cast? She’s phenomenal. I’m still in shock that I get to work with the Y/N.”

I nearly crushed the reel in my grip.

I forced a tight smile, my lips aching with the effort.

“Yes. She’s quite... great, isn’t she?”

Henry thankfully called his name from across the room, and Raymond gave me an apologetic smile before hurrying off, reel in hand, back into the chaos of production.

I lingered by the doorway, unsure why I hadn’t already walked away. Maybe I wanted to watch the reel. Maybe I wanted to see them act. Maybe I was waiting for her.

Instead, I got Ellen.

The familiar click-clack of her heels clicked down the corridor like punctuation marks on a confrontation I didn’t want to have. She didn’t bother with pleasantries.

“Okay,” she said, hands on hips, tone flat with conviction. “Something’s happened between you and Y/N again.”

I sighed and stared at her.

“Something’s always happening between us, Ellen.” The words felt tired in my mouth, like an old song I couldn’t stop humming.

She frowned, arms crossing tighter. “Maybe. But you two made up. I saw it during the Meg era. The way she looked at you. You were softer. She was... lighter. She talked about it to anyone with ears; and now? ” She gestured vaguely, a sweep of frustration. “Now she doesn’t mention your name. Not even once. Like you’ve vanished.”

I didn’t reply.

“And you,” she went on, “you get this… this bitter look every time she’s brought up.”

“I do not get bitter,” I snapped, sharper than I intended.

Ellen cocked a brow, a picture of unimpressed. “Oh yes, Avis. That was very convincing. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were auditioning for a villain in your own life.”

All I could do was glare, jaw clenched so tightly it ached.

“It’s nothing,” I muttered finally, rubbing the bridge of my nose. “Drop it, Ellen.”

She took a step closer. “Avis. Do not test me. I will lock the two of you in a room until you talk like actual adults.”

“This isn’t one of your trashy romance films, Ellen,” I scoffed, reaching for my cigarette case.

“That movie wasn’t trashy,” she shot back. “I cried at the end. And so did you, might I remind you.” Her voice softened then, the sarcasm fading into something gentler. “Seriously, Avis. Talk to her. I can’t stand to see my favourite girls so... hollow. You’re shadows of yourselves when you’re like this.”

I paused, lighter hovering at my lips, cigarette trembling ever so slightly between my fingers. The silence stretched, heavy with memories neither of us wanted to name.

“You met us when we were distant,” I said finally, the words floating out on a trail of smoke.

“Yes. And that distance came from jealousy and hurt and anger she said softly. “This isn’t that. This is something else. Something unfinished. You know I’m right.”

I took a long drag of my cigarette, let the smoke curl in my lungs, let it scald the edges of my restraint.

She was right.

Fuck her.

“I’ll think about it,” I offered, low and noncommittal. A peace offering made of ash.

Ellen beamed like I’d just signed a treaty. “Perfect. I’ll tell her you want to meet for dinner. She’s been avoiding it, but if it comes from you…”

She turned on her heel before I could stop her.

I didn’t stop her.

I didn’t call her back. I didn’t argue.

Because the truth was; I did want to see Y/N. I wanted to look her in the eye and demand to know if she was lying or if it was another act. I wanted to ask if she felt the same dull ache in her ribs when she thinks about us.

But more than that. I wanted this decades old war between us to end.

[bookwormbynight]

bookworm-san, dear mutual. do you happen to have any more fem! light headcanons/thoughts? for healing, for the soul……… 😌

Darling. Gimme just a second to reread my posts on the AU and get my brain juices going again 🙏

(Also, fun fact: I do actually have my name in my lil bio bit lol! I don't think most people notice.)

Fem!Light during the Yotsuba Arc may have been more aggressive than canon Light about separating herself from a relationship with Misa, simply because it isn't assumed that "well, I'm the one who must have asked... I just can't figure out why" because that's not how her relationship dynamics work. She doesn't remember saying yes, she can't imagine why she would have said yes, Misa is clearly delusional and can fuck right off. Her aggression might be the only reason why Misa wouldn't white-knight his way into stopping the mutual lawlight murder attempt on their first "date" lmao. I can clearly imagine him trying to heroically interject and protect his girlfriend only for Light to shriek "fuck OFF Misa" so 'unfemininely' that it takes Misa a full fifteen minutes to reboot lmao.

This is me projecting because I'm a 100 pound girl with a-cups but I want Light to have small boobs (also canon Light has a flat ass anyway). Let me sexualize my body type for once, gimme that. Tiny lace bralettes, zero cleavage through a shirt neckline, barely a handful of titty and you can probably fit most of the boob in your mouth, but anybody who's interested in her either doesn't notice or actively likes it.

On a related note, average-ish height, like canon, so like 5'4 or 5'5, but small person. If that makes sense. I want people to be able to just pick her up with minimal effort because that means it would happen more often (I have friends who literally just throw me over their shoulders and walk away without asking me first) and she would fucking hate it and I think that's hilarious.

Flats-only girlie. Coward. Until L bullies her into heels for fetish purposes ONCE and Light has trouble walking and it makes her red-faced angry embarrassed which does NOT deter L in the slightest.

I think she'd wear her hair half-up half-down in a neat little clip in the back with bangs, it's very Professional and Pretty and intentionally chosen. She pigtail braids her hair at night Cinderella-style to keep it nice and L finds it annoying. The only time we would see it down in the canon timeline would be in solitary confinement, and the rain + foot scene and proceeding death scene (because that was immediately after).

For her death scene in particular, I think her hair would start up, as it usually is, but it would definitely have gone really askew and fallen out of the clip by the time she dies.

I really can't decide how exactly her relationship with Ryuk would change based on her perception of gender dynamics but I'm absolutely sure it would, whether or not we genderbend Ryuk as well. Idk, someone else help me flesh this one out bc it's all just a nebulous feeling in my head.

The daddy issues. Dude. The daddy issues would be so bad. Like, we already had "I desperately want my dad to think I live up to his expectations of me + dad is too busy with his job all the time to feel like a legit regular part of the family". Now imagine that combined with the fact that Soichiro just assumes Light has Woman Brain. "It's wonderful that you're top of your class and you're getting a degree, all capable women should go to college, but don't you think you should pick a less demanding career path so you won't have such a hard time having a family one day?? It's really sweet that you want to follow in my career path honey but I don't know if this job is good for girls like you". That scene with Namikawa would happen and L would praise her like canon and Soichiro's jaw would fucking drop. Ugh.

On a similar note I absolutely do not think Light would be able to stomach playing up the "I'm JUST a GIRL I CANT be KIRA 🥺🥺🥺" schtick even to draw some of the suspicion off of herself because canon Light already had such a hard time literally just not showing off and now add in fem! Light's inferiority complex. She would get so salty every single time people suggested it's not possible for her to be Kira ""even though I'm not"". The ONLY times she would be willing to play up the canon ditz act is when it makes her look a little careless, NEVER stupid.

[evil-fish]

I'm again using references to study, but also I wanna share my story ig??? the reference will be below.

It's kinda trivial and not very interesting, but anyway, when I was like 12-13 yo my mother took me to art school. I scraped up some works that weren't tooo shitty to show (all of them were bad at that time). So, the principal of the school glanced at them and said poetic and laconic phrase, that if I wasn't already Aivazovsky, then nothing would grow in me. Well, I'm 22 now. I'm still learning stuff and probably for my age I'm still not Aivasovsky or good enough but I do love drawing and progressing, even if I'm sad and angry when it's a shitty art in the end.

the moral of the story? idk, but I can literally tell only one thing: just keep going. there always will be people who mock, bully you or simply say that you're a piece of crap. do it for yourself, your joy, you can even not having goals for the things you do. if you're having fun - that's enough.

[merymoonbeam]

I know you handle all of this in stride and aren’t bothered, but I find it really troubling that somebody with a very large platform is calling out people who are vibing in the fandom with significantly less reach. 70k people are seeing these posts for the sake of “calling out” something she laughed about last week. 70k people are seeing names and handles without understanding the context of what occurred in anons saying we will be “saved” by listening to her. When you have a platform that large, you have a responsibility that is not shared by people whose reach is a drop in the bucket. It’s really irresponsible and those on the receiving end of these canva slides don’t have huge platforms of followers to hide behind when said followers inevitably hear one side of a story and come after people with small platforms. Idk. I guess I feel like that responsibility should be taken way more seriously. It feels manipulative tbh. The faux outrage about something you were laughing about last week is really something. Is it funny or is it unsafe? Are you being held accountable to the influence you inarguably do have bc you have so many followers or are you constantly being attacked? Are you baiting people and then getting angry that people respond to your baiting? Is it baiting or is it harmful to you? Is it amusing or are you scared? Are you the victim or are you the aggressor? Are you admitting to gaslighting people and then getting upset by the reaction you receive? If you’re truly concerned and bothered, you wouldn’t share this bs with 70k people. If you truly felt unsafe, you would take a different approach. It’s all irresponsible and highly manipulative.

This.

Tbh I can handle all of these nonsense from these people bc I simply do not care but I know people who were doxxed. Who were bullied out of the fandom. Artist who were bullied simply wanting to draw elriel....it goes on and on.

It is just frustrating. I know people who tried to talk with her, tried to reason but she will simply see none. So why should we show the same grace to her when she is known for being number one cause of all our bullying?

And simply it comes to this...one week she is "having fun baiting people" and next week it is "there are fucking boundaries"

Which one is it? Is she the victim or is she the one baiting people bc you cant simply be both...you cant expect to "bait" people and then when they show you the same grace you cant suddenly be the victim...it doesnt work that way.

These are one week apart...