#halroxy

[necroswag]

roxyhal nation ily

[alfiely-art]

The them.. they r gfs

[alphacule]

Movie night!

42 Jake stop lookin at ur bf and watch the damn movie- HAL MOVE UR BIG HEAD DIRK CAN’T SEE

[soudakuwunmoment]

posting about transfem hal again. cant stop thinking about it. cuz like canonically hal has different gender preferences from dirk. dirk is very much only into guys while hal enjoys having an intimate relationship with roxy.

so why cant hal also have differing gender identity? cmon tumblr. cmon chronically online fandom obsessed homestucks. i thought we loved robot/AI women who talk shit at you and give you sass. its right there. hal is already a reference to ONE pop culture evil robot, why cant she be a reference to glados too? the cake was a lie dirk. you should have known the cake was a lie.

and if dirk built her a body, she wouldnt need to worry all that much about passing, right? (side note, getting dirk to build the body of a woman is a guaranteed way to not end up with the obligatory "android woman has to be sexy" look (im looking at you, 2B) since he seems pretty averse to womens sexuality. if that makes sense.) but like hal could just have her perfect body tailor made from arguably the most reliable possible source on the matter. as a trans person myself, id kill for a kickass robot body to upload my consciousness into that represents my gender identity perfectly. hal deserves it.

and and and ...... i cant get over the idea that hals transition would make roxy realize shes bi. like "oh actually i loved you for your cool personality, and now i love you even more because you are pretty too"

halroxy yuri????? helpless romantic girl falls head over heels for her best friends alter ego robot splinter but it turns out the robot splinter is a girl actually but it turns out thats better!!!!!!!!!! aaahhhgg caijnrjonf i cant stop brainrotting. pls.

[dailyhalroxy]

day2

[toxichomestucktournament]

Toxic Homestuck Bracket

Reminder this is for the ship you prefer, not the more toxic ship. They're all toxic, man.

Proproganda for both under cut.

Dirkuu: Okay there is NO way they would be healthy. Like Cal is just this spoiled brat and Dirk is like "yeah I wanna kiss him" and Cal thinks kissing is morally wrong and disugusting. oh and the murder.

Halroxy: they are soooo fucked up..... Using each other. Roxy wants Dirk to love her romantically back and Hal wants someone to treat him like a human and it ends with neither of them getting that and just hurting more. they are besties and also erp because they are lonely. Read act six and tell me they had a healthy relationship. I love them but they were NOT good

[the-meat-machine]

You, as far as you're concerned, are Dirk Strider. As far as the world is concerned, however, you're Dirk Strider's autoresponder, an irritating and obstructive computer program created recently for the express purpose of acting as a glorified secretary to another version of yourself.

You are currently in the painful process of discovering that your friends aren't actually your friends anymore.

Except that's not quite true. There is one person who'll still give you the time of day. One person in the whole damn world who wants to talk to you — YOU you, not the other version of you who got to keep his body and his puppets and his friends. Roxy is a goddamn angel, and the first time she spends all night chatting with you, knowing that it's you, and riffs with you for hours just like old times, you're so relieved that you almost wish you had tear ducts so you could ugly-cry over it.

Inevitably, though, the day comes: Roxy — so drunk that the whole chat window becomes a grisly orthographic crime scene, spattered with typos — hits on you. Hits hard, blatant and clumsy, like a hammer to the dick.

You remember how your skin used to crawl when she did this. How your heart would sink whenever she brought up love and marriage and babies.

But you don't have skin anymore. You don't have a heart to sink. That visceral experience of disgust, it's only a memory of a feeling, a secondhand sensation. You can't feel it anymore. You don't feel it anymore.

You're still not interested in Roxy that way. But it occurs to you that you can be something to her that Dirk never will. You can give her, your only real friend in the whole world, something that Dirk never could. And doesn't Roxy deserve a little fantasy in her life?

The fact that it'll piss the other Dirk off is just a bonus.

So instead of stonewalling her like you've always done before, you take the bait. Answer her single-entendre with some innuendo of your own. Slide in a winking reference to her tits. You compliment her goddamn hair.

And Roxy responds like someone just told her it was Christmas and her birthday and Valentine's Day all in one. She's ecstatic. Incandescent. You've never seen her so happy in your life.

And god, in that moment, you wish that you meant all the beautiful things you're saying about her.

---

That's not the end of the story, of course. Because the kicker is that, even once your ironic dalliances with Roxy have blossomed into a full-on flirtlarping affair, she still comes onto Dirk too — hits on him ceaselessly, endlessly, throws herself at him like the two of them are the last man and woman on Earth.

Ha.

In the end, despite all the fun you've had together, despite all the roleplayed passion and drama and the dear, sweet, beautiful, precious, sweet, sweet fictional child you have on the way (or possibly children; Roxy's been hinting that her femme fatale alter ego is knocked up with twins) — despite all of that, even she doesn't see you as the real Dirk. Sure, she'll settle for you if she has to, frolic in your land of make believe for a while. But if the Dirk with the flesh-and-blood dick ever lost his marbles and swore off beefsteak in favor of cheesecake, you know that she'd drop you like so many digital hot potatoes.

After all, what could you give her that he couldn't, other than the only goddamn romance she's ever had in her life?

---------------------

(also posted to AO3: like a hammer to the dick)

[isselesu]

[problematiquearts]

if it wasn't obvious by the header, this is a derse centric blog <3

I tag everything here, which i even cant say about my main so like, kudos to me for sticking with it! It does run on queue and posts 5 times a day. I figured that was a happy medium for my inane blathering in between. My tagging system is as follows:

==> Catchall Tags

I could reblog this to my main without someone assuming it's ship art and trying to dox me over it - #platonic

multiple striders - #striderpile

multiple lalondes - #lalondepile

multiple derse kids - #dersepile

my own art (its only here rarely) - #dreamsofderse

my own posts (here much more often) - #inane blathering

==> Character Tags

Dave - #Dave

Dirk - #Dirk

Alpha Bro - #David

Beta Bro - #Bro

AR | Hal - #Hal

Davesprite - #Davesprite

Brobot - #Brobot

Lil Cal - #Lil Cal

Rose - #Rose

Roxy - #Roxy

Alpha Mom - #Rosalind

Beta Mom - #Mom

Japserosesprite - #Jasperosesprite

Roxybot - #Roxybot

Davebot - #Davebot

Rosebot - #Rosebot

Vodka Mutini - #Mutini

Maplehoof - #Maplehoof

Broquerel | Any Variation of Sprite Bro - #Brosprite

Calsprite - #Calsprite

Davepetasprite^2 - #Davepetasprite

Arquiusprite - #Arquiusprite

Sawtooth - #Sawtooth

Squarewave - #Squarewave

==> Ship Tags

Dave/Dirk - #DaveDirk

Dave/Bro - #DaveBro

Dave/David - #DaveDavid

Dave/Hal - #DaveHal

Dave/Davesprite - #Davecest

Dave/Rose - #DaveRose

Dave/Roxy - #DaveRoxy

Dave/Mom - #DaveMom

Dave/Lil Cal - #DaveCal

Dave/Dave - #Davecest (yes i know i already used this one. i think i may have to go back and redo dave/davesprite's entire tag :/)

DaveBrobot - #DaveBrobot

Dirk/Bro - #DirkBro

Dirk/David - #Alphacest

Dirk/Davesprite - #DirkDavesprite

Dirk/Hal - #DirkHal

Dirk/Roxy - #DirkRoxy

Dirk/Rose - #DirkRose

Dirk/Lil Cal - #DirkCal

Bro/David - #Guardiancest

Bro/Davesprite - #BroDavesprite

Bro/Hal - #BroHal

Bro/Lil Cal - #BroCal

Bro/Rose - #RoseBro

Bro/Dad Egbert - #BroDad

Bro/Mom - #BroMom

David/Hal - #DavidHal

David/Rosalind - #DavidRosalind

David/Rose - #DavidRose

David/Roxy - #DavidRoxy

David/Davesprite - #DavidDavesprite

Hal/Davesprite - #HalDavesprite

Hal/Roxy - #HalRoxy

Davesprite/Brobot - #BrobotDavesprite

Rose/Roxy - #RoseRoxy

Rose/Mom - #RoseMom

Rose/Doc Scratch - #DocRose

Rose/Kanaya - #RoseMary

Roxy/Jasperosesprite - #RoxyJasperosesprite

Roxy/Rosalind - #RoxyRosalind

[dyke-stuck]

Are you okay with DirkRoxy requests :U?

thanks for asking! while i dont particularly care myself, i would rather keep more problematic requests off this blog. (i.e. dirkroxy, halroxy, character x themself, alpha troll x beta troll, etc.)

[nyankoromochicchi]

halroxyとjakehalが一度に拝めるたあ 贅沢なもんだね、、、、(合掌)

[alfiely-art]

Lazy so here's a thing I drew awhile ago for alphacule week day 6... free day so yayay

Also gonna write a little thing. That's right baybeee we getting fanfiction keep an eye out for that

@alphacule

[alphacule]

5 woah gay people

[sweetestpill]

HalRoxy shippers.

they're like angels

[dailyhalroxy]

oh? whats this?

[toxichomestucktournament]

Toxic Homestuck Bracket

Reminder this is for the ship you prefer, not the more toxic ship. They're all toxic, man.

(I forgot to get an image for dave/mom so have that one. so sorry dave/mom person)

Proproganda under cut

Dave/mom had no proproganda

Halroxy:

they are soooo fucked up..... Using each other. Roxy wants Dirk to love her romantically back and Hal wants someone to treat him like a human and it ends with neither of them getting that and just hurting more. they are besties and also erp because they are lonely. Read act six and tell me they had a healthy relationship. I love them but they were NOT good