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expectingtofly · 3 years ago

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Claire Novak's (Surprisingly) Not-So-Lame Day

this fic is written for @dean-has-great-taste as part of @starrynightdeancas' gift exchange. thanks sophie for organizing this, it was a lot of fun <33 and i hope you enjoy this, gen!!

*****

How did Claire find herself joining Dean, Cas, and Jack for an excursion to the mall?

Well.

Cas had texted her yesterday, with an extreme amount of emojis and emoticons that took some time to decipher, asking if she wanted to go shopping with him, Dean, and Jack. Apparently Jack needed new clothes and they needed a gift for Eileen’s birthday coming up, and maybe they could go bowling or something afterwards.

And normally she would’ve said no way because hanging out with old guys was lame and she didn’t like little kids, but she needed an excuse to get out of Jody and Donna’s weekend plans of cleaning out the garage. Plus, Kaia needed to study for a test—she actually enjoyed school, the weirdo—and had requested no distractions.

So that’s how she found herself sitting in the back of the Impala next to a carseat, listening to one of Dean’s old cassette tapes (which wasn’t too bad, but she’d never admit it).

“What’s that?” Jack asked, stretching against his carseat straps to jab at one of the pins Claire wore on her leather jacket.

“It’s the lesbian flag,” she told him. Cas looked back at them from the front seat, smiling.

“This one?” Jack pointed to the rainbow pin on her pocket.

“It’s the pride flag.”

Jack considered that for a moment before announcing, “I want one. And this one.” He pointed to the mothman pin on her lapel, then the big-eyed, green alien. “And this one... and this one, and this one.” (Alex said she had more pins than leather on her jacket, but sue her, she liked making her clothing her own).

Jack, it seemed, also liked… unique clothing. The kid was wearing rain boots even though the sun was out and overalls with embroidered flowers. He dressed weird, there was no way around it. But so did Cas, so there was probably no hope for him, poor kid.

“Okay,” she decided. “I know where to get you some.”

Jack beamed and swung his legs. “Don’t kick the seat,” Dean told him, and Jack pouted at him.

Claire was surprised Dean even let a carseat in his precious Impala. Pulling out her phone, she asked, “Can we listen to my music?”

Dean started to respond with a “Hell no,” but Cas spoke up first, “Of course.”

Dean spluttered as Claire connected to the bluetooth connector Sam had finally convinced Dean to install. The old man didn’t realize it was the 21st century, apparently.

“I wanna listen to Gaga!” Jack said, leaning over to look at her phone.

At first she thought that was some baby talk, then she realized Jack was into pop music. Ugh. But it would annoy Dean, so...

Leaning in conspiratorially with Jack, she let him scroll through her phone and choose which song to play. When “Born This Way” started filtering through the car, Dean groaned.

“Really?” he asked, sending her a glare in the rearview mirror. Mission accomplished.

Jack clapped along and Cas turned the music up louder. “Great choice, Jack,” he said.

Dean, for all his grumbling, didn’t turn down the music, and Claire caught him glancing at Cas, who tapped his fingers on his thigh to the beat. Dean looked like he was fighting back a smile and Claire rolled her eyes. Dude was so whipped.

When they parked at the mall, Cas grabbed Jack’s hand before he could sprint across the parking lot. “You have to look both ways,” he reminded him gently, and Jack nodded.

“Claire’s gonna buy me pins,” he said, jumping onto the curb.

“Yup.” Claire pat her jacket pocket. “Good ol’ credit card fraud.”

“Woah, now,” Dean started to protest.

“You and Sam are the ones who taught me!” Claire reminded him.

“We’ll pay for them,” Cas said, opening the door to the mall. Jack skipped inside, his rain boots squeaking on the tiled floor.

“We’re doing what now?” Dean asked Cas, taking his hand. Gross.

“Come on, Jack,” Claire said, catching up to the toddler. “Let’s go get you some style.” Over her shoulder, she called, “Meet up with you guys later.”

“Have fun!” Cas called.

“Don’t get kidnapped,” Dean added.

As they distanced themselves from the old geezers, Jack grabbed her hand, and Claire startled a little. “Do you like dinosaurs?” he asked.

Someone passing by gave them a smile, and Claire realized people probably thought Jack was her younger brother. She let him hold her hand anyway. “Sure.”

“What’s your favorite? Mine is the bon-ta-sore-us.” He sounded out the word carefully.

“Don’t know. What’s the one with the spiky horns?”

“Ti-ce-a-tops?”

“Yeah, that sounds cool.”

“That’s my second favorite!” He started jumping from one colored tile to the next. “And the T-Rex. That’s Dee’s favorite. And Dad likes the steg-a-sore-us.” He peered up at her. “Did you know he got to see dinosaurs? Right in front of him!”

“You know what that means, right?” He shook his head. “He’s super old. He’s basically a dinosaur himself.”

Jack’s eyes widened. “He’s a dinosaur,” he repeated in a hushed whisper.

“Yup.” Spotting Hot Topical, she headed that way. “You should tell him that.”

Inside the store, Jack let go of her hand to grab a stuffed cat. “Claire! Like yours!”

Claire rolled her eyes. “Yeah.” So, she still had the Grumpy Cat Cas had bought her. She wasn’t cruel enough to throw it away when the guy was trying so hard to make up for walking around in her dead dad’s body. Plus, the stuffed animal was kinda cute. Not that she was going to tell anyone that.

“Here ya go,” she told Jack, finding a box of pins at the register. She brought the box down to his level and Jack ran over to look inside.

“I want a Doc McStuffins pin,” he said, plunging his hand into the box.

“I don’t know if they have those.”

As they rooted through the box of pins, she heard familiar voices and looked up to see Dean and Cas walking inside.

“What are you guys doing here?” she asked.

“I like this store,” Cas said and Dean rolled his eyes. Among the pleather and black, Cas’ dingy old trench coat—over a Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt instead of a suit—and Dean’s ratty flannel and boots only looked more ridiculous. She took it back—even Jack dressed better than them.

“You guys don’t have to be in here,” she told them.

“What, we’re too old?” Dean asked defensively.

“Yeah, actually.”

Cas poked at a toy and it squeaked. God, could they be any more embarrassing?

“Dad!” Jack called, holding out a rainbow pin. “Look, they have soo many.” Cas joined Jack in going through the pins and Claire asked Dean, giving his outfit a meaningful look,

“Was the Army Surplus store too trendy for you?”

“Did they kick you out of Sephora for buying up all the eyeliner?“ Dean shot back.

Touché. In a truce, she held out a pin with the bisexual flag. She wasn’t really sure what Dean identified as, if he even gave it any thought, but guessed it was close enough. “For you.”

Dean rolled his eyes but took it. “I’m not weighing down my jacket with this crap, though.”

“No, ‘course not, that would mean having any sort of style.”

“Can I help you with anything?” asked an employee with two nose rings and jewelry up and down their ears— so cool. Claire saw the way their eyes flicked between them, probably thinking they made a weird group, and she took a step back, trying to silently communicate that yes, she was shopping with them, but no, she was not as lame as them.

“Just looking,” Dean told them.

“I like your drawings,” Jack said and the employee looked down at their arms which were littered with tattoos.

“Thanks.”

“My dad has a drawing. It’s Enochian.”

The employee—Wren, by the name tag—looked at Cas with new respect in their eyes. “Language of the angels. Sick.”

Cas looked pleased. “Thank you. It’s come in handy more than once.”

The employee went back to looking confused and, starting to walk away, told them to call if they needed anything.

“Do you want anything?” Cas asked Claire, and Claire looked through the box. She grabbed a pentagram pin and, seeming to copy her, Jack grabbed another one, clutching several pins already in his fists.

“You like bees, right?” Claire asked Cas, spotting a “Save the Bees” pin. She held it up for him.

Cas’ eyes brightened. “That’s a wonderful message.” He glanced back at Dean and frowned. “Dean, they’re not going to bite.”

Claire looked over to see Dean shying away from a few emo teens. “Look like it,” Dean muttered, joining them. Jack lifted up his hands, asking to be hoisted up. Dean set him on his hip and Jack showed him the pins he’d selected. He held a dinosaur pin to Dean’s collar.

“Do you want one, Dee?”

“He’s too lame,” Claire piped up. Not for the first time, she noticed the healed over piercing mark on Dean’s right ear and pointed to it. “Looks like he used to be cool, though.”

“Yeah, guess so,” Dean said dryly. His hand went to his earlobe. “Pierced it myself, in high school.”

“I think you’re still cool,” Cas told him, and Claire fake-gagged, making Jack giggle.

Cas took the pins to the cash register where Wren rang them up. Dean added the bisexual flag pin and Claire threw in a pair of spiky earrings, because, hey, they were paying.

“15.36,” Wren told them, dropping the pins into a bag.

“My dad’s a dinosaur,” Jack told them, trying to see over the edge of the counter. Wren raised an eyebrow, Cas looked surprised, and Claire stifled a laugh.

“Claire, help me,” Jack said, grabbing the bag from Cas as they exited the store. Moving to the side, Claire helped him attach the pins to his overalls. A smiley face, a pride flag, a grinning Stitch, a sunflower, a dinosaur, and the pentagram. The pins clacked as Jack tugged at his overalls, trying to look at them all. Overall, a chaotic look, but it kinda matched his vibe.

“Lookin’ good,” she told him, and Jack beamed.

“I’m like you!”

Alright, she wouldn’t take it that far, but, “Yeah, close enough.”

Cas attached the “Save the Bees” pins to his trench coat pocket and it ended up crooked. Rolling her eyes, Claire said, “Let me.”

She reattached the pin and stepping back to look it over, decided, “You could actually make that coat look cool if you added more stuff to it.”

Cas looked down at himself. “Thank you.”

“Nothing’s gonna save that sweatshirt, though.” Couldn’t let his ego get too big.

“Dean said he liked it,” Cas said, glancing back at Dean, who was shooting an evil eye at Claire. He quickly wiped it off his face and draped an arm over Cas’ shoulders.

“Yeah, it’s uh… Charming.” He guided Cas away from Claire. “Don’t listen to her, she still thinks sarcasm is a personality trait.”

“Screw you, old man,” she called. Jack skipped after them and she checked her phone to see Kaia had texted her: How’s everything going? They drive you crazy yet?

They’re so weird, she texted back. Then she added, They’re not too bad.

“Come on, Jack,” she said, hurrying to catch up with him, Dean, and Cas. “Let’s go get our ears pierced.”

“Yay!” Jack cheered. He grabbed her hand and tugged her down the mall.

“Woah, woah, you’re not doing that,” Dean protested like the wet blanket he was.

“You can get yours pierced too,” Claire told him, and he faltered,

“I don’t want, we’re not—“

“You know you want to.” She let Jack lead her away and Dean called after them,

“We're never bringing you shopping again!”

Grinning, she turned to shout over her shoulder, “You know you love me!”

#starrynightdeancas gift exchange #established dean/cas #claire novak #toddler jack #dadstiel #fic #spn #expectingtoflywrites #im gonna post this on ao3 as soon as i figure out a summary lol

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maybeimamuppet · 3 years ago

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you happened

hey darlings!! happy wednesday!!!

let’s get right into it shall we?

tw for

discussion of canon events in mg (outing, etc)

discussion of canon events in the prom (homophobia, etc.)

this was requested by @spidy-nugget like forever ago so thank you for your patience and i hope you enjoy!

—

“Oh!” Cady says, interrupting herself in the middle of a sentence. “I just remembered! My cousin is coming to visit next week, do you guys want to meet her?”

“Emma?” Damian asks excitedly. Cady nods. “Yes! Is she bringing the-her… Broadway friends?”

“I dunno, she didn’t tell me,” Cady giggles. “But probably, she said they usually visit her at some point every summer.”

“I should probably be there to stop him from combusting if they do come,” Janis huffs. “But also, yes, I want to meet her too.”

“She’s an absolute icon,” Damian says happily. “God, her song. Still makes me cry.”

“You cried watching Finding Dory yesterday,” Janis retaliates.

“It’s a sad movie! Sometimes!” Damian defends. “Anyway, tell me all about Emma.”

“Okay,” Cady giggles again. “She’s a year older than us, and she’s my cousin on my mom’s side. Um… you know her whole… prom fiasco. I’ve only met her in person once when I was ten, for Rhys’ funeral. But we were pen pals when we were really little. And now we just text and stuff.”

“Cute,” Damian says. “And is her girlfriend coming?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Cady says around a mouthful of Janis’ milkshake. “Her name is Alyssa, she’s, like, super smart. Did every possible activity in high school, that kind of thing. But she’s been with Emma when we’ve Facetimed and stuff before and she’s super sweet.”

“Aww,” Damian coos. “I can’t wait!”

————-

Luckily for him, Damian doesn’t have to wait too long. Emma and Alyssa arrive the following week in Emma’s pickup. Damian has been pressed against the window all day, like a small child watching for the ice cream truck. He gasps dramatically when four people in matching sequined tracksuits also hop out of the backseat, grumbling about being cramped together for such a long trip.

Cady opens the door to let everyone in, and is quickly swamped by a crowd of people much taller than her. Janis pops up on her tippy toes to try and find her girlfriend to save her, but doesn’t succeed.

Everyone heads into the living room, and Janis laughs when she finds Cady being carried in like a sack of potatoes by one of the men that came with Emma.

“Emma, why didn’t you tell me your cousin was so adorable?” He demands. “Look at this, she’s so small.”

“Please put me down,” Cady squeaks. Janis heads over and reaches for her.

“Can I have my girlfriend back, please?”

“And she’s gay!” The man says happily, passing Cady over like she’s a small dog. Janis holds her close and smoothes her hair back to where it was.

“Bi, actually,” Cady grumbles.

“Well, aren’t you something. Oh, my name is Barry, by the way. As if you haven’t heard of me.”

“Barry, we talked about this,” Emma chides. “They haven’t. Except Damian.”

“And where is this Damian? I want to meet him,” one of the ladies says. “Oh, and my name is Dee Dee.”

Damian enters shyly and gives a little wave. Janis cackles, “Dude, you’re totally starstruck, look at you!”

“Uh-hi,” he stutters. “I’m Damian.”

“Aww!” The other lady says. “Look at your little cheeks, what a sweetheart! I’m Angie.”

Damian blushes violently as he’s cooed over by Angie. Barry hauls her off to get a good look at him.

“I like this,” he says. “It’s like a mini me.”

“Just don’t break him,” Emma pleads. “Damian, can I trust you to babysit for a while?”

That prompts a, ‘Hey!’ from all four adults, and an eager nod from Damian. “I can show them around town.”

“This is not a town, darling,” Dee Dee says gently. “But what is there to see?”

“We have… uh-“

“There’s an IHOP!” Cady chirps. “And the mall. That’s kind of it until you get to Chicago. Or the lake.”

“This is the most precious soul,” Barry says happily.

“Dame, we did it. I never thought I’d see the day we found someone gayer than you,” Janis laughs.

“Oh, I like this one too,” Barry says. “Funky little lesbian. She dresses like Emma but goth.”

“I do love the hair,” Emma agrees. “I’m dressed more like Cady today though.”

They both look down at their almost-matching flannels and jean shorts, then back at each other with a nod.

“Same boots though,” Janis cheers, lifting a foot. Emma laughs and nudges it with one of her own doc martens. “Nice.”

“Precious,” Angie says. “Okay, we’ll leave you gals alone now. Damian, show us the sights.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Damian says, leading the adults to the door.

“Yes, show us to the… hopping eyes,” Dee Dee says, sounding both bored and intrigued at the same time. Damian waves goodbye to Janis excitedly and closes the door after him.

“Well,” Emma chuckles. “Oh, I hope he’ll be okay.”

“I think he’ll be fine,” Alyssa soothes. “He’s in good company, and he’s a theatre kid, he gets their… vibes.”

“Theatre kid is an understatement for that boy,” Janis tuts affectionately.

“True,” Cady giggles. “Anyway, we can hang out in my room, if you want?”

Emma and Alyssa nod, so Cady leads everyone up to her bedroom. Janis flops onto the bed and Cady crawls in behind her, lifting her head onto her lap. Alyssa and Emma look around curiously for a second before joining them.

“Who did these?” Alyssa asks, pointing to the paintings and collages adorning the walls. “They’re incredible, especially this one. It looks just like you guys!”

Janis flushes as she points to the one she won her art contest with, of she and Damian and Cady all together. “I did.”

“Dang,” Emma breathes. “You have some serious talent, Janis.”

“Thanks,” Janis squeaks.

“No, seriously! Do you have stuff here?” Emma insists.

“A few things, yeah,” Janis says confusedly, raising an eyebrow. “Why?”

Emma lifts her guitar case onto the bed and flicks the latches open, pulling out her famous instrument. It’s covered in stickers and little doodles, much like Janis’ jackets.

“Will you do something on this for me?”

Janis’ eyes go wide. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course!” Emma chuckles. “There’s room down here if you want it visible, or on the back.”

Janis carefully takes the instrument and assesses the material, trying to put an idea together in her mind. She runs to Cady’s desk when one comes to her, where she keeps a supply of basic colors and brushes in case of emergency. Cady doesn’t mind keeping them, they remind her of her girlfriend.

Cady grins affectionately as Emma and Alyssa cuddle in together. “How did you two meet?”

Her cousin turns to smile at her girlfriend. “I kind of always knew of her from school and stuff, but we didn’t really get close until sophomore year.”

Alyssa nods in agreement. “My mom wanted me to be more creative and have another skill or whatever, so she signed me up for guitar classes. Just so happens she was my teacher.”

“You really sucked,” Emma teases. Alyssa scoffs, aghast, and shoves her so hard she nearly falls off the bed. “Ack! Hey, I was kidding!”

“I know,” Alyssa giggles. “I did suck, I’ve never been much good at artsy stuff.”

“I was never good at art either,” Cady chuckles at their antics. “Jay’s tried to teach me to paint a couple times and it hasn’t gone too well.”

She peeks around the other couple to where her own girlfriend is sitting cross-legged on the ground, tongue poked out to the side as she carefully brushes a stroke of paint onto Emma’s guitar. Janis looks up when she feels her gaze, and grins happily when she sees Cady.

“You have the right instincts, I keep telling you,” she says. “You just get cranky too fast and then start attacking me with it.”

Everyone else bursts out laughing. Emma says, “I don’t blame her, I hated art class. What were we talking about?”

“How we met, dummy,” Alyssa huffs, kissing behind Emma’s ear.

“Oh yeah! So, we started off with actual lessons, but then we started getting to know each other more,” Emma explains. “And then I came out and got kicked out, which… a lot of people heard about, so Lyss figured I was a safe person to tell that she was questioning.”

Cady nods, listening intently to the story.

“I came out to her that summer,” Alyssa says. “And she said she’d had a crush on me all along, and asked me out. So we went on a walk and then got coffee and the rest is history.”

“We forgot to mention the serious gay panic I had during our first lesson,” Emma chuckles. “But that’s the gist of it.”

“How cute,” Cady coos.

“What about you two, how long have you been together?” Alyssa asks kindly, flicking Emma’s ear gently as she aggressively plops down onto her lap.

“Four months,” Janis pipes up immediately.

“Man, you crushed on her for that long without saying anything, Cades?” Emma says, impressed. Janis pops her head up and listens in.

“Oh?”

“She never shut up about you for, like, almost a year,” Emma laughs. Cady flushes scarlet and looks down at her lap with a flustered squeak. “I’m assuming it was you, she never gave a name. But it was always a tall, hot artist with cool hair and nice muscles. And I think she mentioned your butt a few times, she thinks that’s cute.”

Janis cackles as Cady flops facedown onto her bed and groans into a pillow. “How cute, I didn’t know that. But I shouldn’t laugh, I definitely wasn’t any better.”

“How did you get together?” Alyssa asks, patting Cady’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Janis snorts from the ground and Cady gives another groan into her pillow. “What?”

“You tell them,” Cady grumbles, poking her face out just long enough that it’s not muffled.

“Baby, it’s cute,” Janis coos.

“No it’s not!”

“Okay, fine, I’ll tell it in a way that makes me look just as dorky,” Janis compromises. “Caddy came to my school in September from Kenya, and she had these adorable little cargo shorts and socks with sandals on, and-“

“Hold on, what?” Alyssa insists. “Kenya?”

“Cady grew up there, her parents are zoologists,” Emma explains.

“How many conversations have we had with her? And you never thought to tell me she’s from Africa?”

“It never came up! We both had a lot going on the first year and then we just didn’t bring it up,” Emma defends. “And now you know.”

“Sorry,” Alyssa says. “Keep going.”

“It’s all good,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, I fell for her so bad the first day that I dragged Damian into the bathroom at lunch and made him let her join our group.”

Cady pops her head up and looks to her girlfriend. “You did?”

“Yeah, duh,” Janis says. “We’re not known for socializing with the new kids, I just thought you were cute.”

Cady blushes again, but doesn’t return to her pillow. “Keep going.”

Janis chuckles and continues telling the story as she finishes her small painting on Emma’s guitar. “So we became friends that day, and then had… an ordeal, through the rest of junior year and didn’t really reconnect until spring.”

Cady’s told Emma and Alyssa the whole story, so they both nod at Janis’ quick explanation.

“We got really close over the summer, and apparently we were both crushing on each other. But we didn’t notice, somehow. And then I sorta snapped on her birthday this year and decided to fess up, so I made that,” Janis points to the black and white collage hanging next to one of her paintings on the wall. “But before I could give it to her, this little firecracker got wasted and started crying in my lap about how much she loved me.”

“I wasn’t that drunk!” Cady huffs.

“I found you lying on the ground singing yourself to sleep,” Janis giggles. “And you didn’t recognize me, clearly. Just climbed into my lap and spilled your guts. I was lucky it wasn’t literal.”

“Janis Sarkisian,” Cady grumbles. “Behave.”

“Fine, fine,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, once she sobered up a little bit we had a chat and realized we both had feelings for each other, so we started dating. And now we’re here.”

“That did not make you sound anywhere near as dorky as me,” Cady huffs. “But yeah, that’s… that’s it.”

Emma snorts once the story is done. “That does sound like Cady. But if that’s what it took, then I guess it was worth it.”

Cady turns to look at Janis again. “It was. But you guys went through a lot more than us, that must have been tough on both of you.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Emma chuckles, trying to sneak a peek at Janis’ work. The angle isn’t quite right, so she gives up before she falls off her girlfriend. “You guys went through a lot. But yeah, it was really tough. I’m so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Alyssa murmurs back. “You guys know the story?”

“I do,” Cady says. “I think Jay and Damian just know the bare bones. It’s your story to tell, I didn’t want to give too many details away.”

Alyssa gives her a grateful smile, and Cady grins back. “Do you want to hear it?”

“Of course,” Janis pipes up. “I finished, by the way. Um, here.”

“Hey, you stole my idea!” Cady jokingly whines when she sees what Janis has done.

“But it’s so perfect!” Janis defends. Emma takes her guitar to see, and smiles at the new lion with a rainbow mane in the spot they’d picked. “And it’s kind of for both of us.”

“This is awesome,” Emma says. “Oh! I get it, it’s a pride thing! Pride of lions, and then… oh. Clever!”

“It was actually Caddy’s idea, she made me a rock with it at pride last week,” Janis says. “I thought it fit.”

“It does, you’re really talented!” Alyssa says, leaning over her girlfriend’s shoulder to see it. Janis’ text tone goes off, so she pulls her phone out of the pocket of her shorts to check it. Cady peeks over to see what it is too as Janis bursts out laughing. It’s a picture of Damian surrounded by his new friends, now in a matching tracksuit all of his own.

jamian: Sent a picture: JAN LOOKIT

danis: nice outfit

jamian: Thank u it really suits me doesnt it

danis: honestly

danis: yeah kinda

jamian: Sent a picture: Thank u

jamian: Anyway we’re going to ihop next yall should meet us there

danis: kk love u

jamian: Love u too

“I think your little crew adopted Damian,” Janis chuckles at Emma and Alyssa, showing them the photo of a very excited Damian.

“Aww,” Emma chuckles. “I’m glad they didn’t kill him, they can be a lot to handle.”

“He seems fine,” Janis shrugs. “Whose truck are we taking?”

“Oh, is that one in the driveway yours?” Emma says excitedly. Janis nods. “It’s nice!”

“We’ve been in Em’s all day,” Alyssa chuckles. “Probably best to take yours.”

“I call shotgun!” Cady yells, already tugging on her shoes and running downstairs.

“As if I’d let anyone else,” Janis mumbles affectionately under her breath.

————-

The waitstaff at IHOP look more than a little frightened at the size of their group, and especially at the crew in tracksuits.

“Ey, yo!” One of them calls. “Guys, come here! It’s that guy from the thing! That show!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Trent grumbles under his breath. “Why is it always that? I played Hamlet!”

They’re quickly escorted to a large table near the back, and Trent signs a few menus as a little gift to the now very excited waiters.

“Was Juilliard worth it?” He mutters to himself. Angie, who’s sat next to him, nudges him with an elbow to shut him up.

Janis and Emma both order for their girlfriends, and also order themselves the same meal of chicken and waffles. Dee Dee gets french toast, Angie gets an omelet, Trent gets some crepes, and Barry gets the most horrifically sweet looking pancakes anyone’s ever seen. Apparently they’re cupcake flavored.

Alyssa looks very content with her large Belgian waffle, and Cady seems delighted with her chocolate chip pancakes decorated with whipped cream to look like a face. It’s definitely from the children’s menu, but nobody says anything.

“So tell us about you guys,” Dee Dee says once their food gets delivered. She looks eagerly to her friends, as if to say, ‘Look how nice I can be when I want to.’ Barry claps quietly for her.

“What do you want to know?” Damian asks. Dee Dee puts her head in her hands, clearly not knowing how to continue. Trent takes over for her.

“How do you guys know each other?”

“Oh!” Damian says excitedly. “Janis and I have been friends, like, forever. We met in tap dance class when we were three.”

“And you knocked my fucking teeth out in that class when we were five,” Janis grumbles.

“By accident!” Damian defends amidst the giggles of their whole group. “I got really into it. Anyway, so we’ve been friends forever. And then little Caddy happened along in junior year, and we kind of kidnapped her for a while.”

“No, I needed to be kidnapped,” Cady laughs. “I was a total wreck. They actually sort of rescued me from the school bathroom at lunch.”

“You were eating in the bathroom?” Barry asks, sounding both empathetic and disgusted. “Oh, you poor sweet thing.”

“I was the new kid, y’know?” Cady shrugs. “Nobody wanted to eat with the dork from Africa.”

Angie chokes on a bite of her food, and Trent thumps her on the back. “From what now?”

“I’m from Kenya,” Cady giggles. “Well, technically I was born in Oregon. But I lived in Kenya for thirteen years.”

“Just, like, in the wilderness?” Barry asks in shock. “With the lions and tigers and… bears and stuff?”

Cady laughs out loud. “Pretty much. But there’s no tigers or bears.”

“But there were lions?” Trent insists.

“Oh, yeah,” Cady says like it’s entirely normal. “That’s mostly what we were studying. They were kind of my only friends.”

“And they never showed any interest in… consuming you?” Dee Dee asks worriedly. Cady laughs again.

“Lions are just big cats, you know, guys? As long as you’re careful and respect their boundaries they won’t hurt you,” she chuckles. “I got swiped at a few times when I was little, but I never needed more than fifteen stitches.”

“Fifteen?” Angie yelps.

“That is kind of a lot, Cades,” Emma chuckles. “I never had to get more than three as a kid.”

“Oh. Well, I was kind of asking for it, I was playing too rough,” Cady hums.

“With a lion,” Alyssa insists. “Do you have pictures?” Cady nods and passes over her phone for them to scroll through her camera roll.

“Anyway, please keep going,” Angie says, leaning across the table to try to see.

“That’s basically it,” Janis shrugs. “Until you get into the whole mess that happened junior year.”

Cady and Damian nod in agreement. The adults all look very excited at the prospect of some new drama. “Do tell.”

The art freaks all look to one another warily, wondering who should begin. Cady decides to after a second of back and forth.

“Well, um… I sat with these two on my first day,” she begins. “But then just before lunch ended I met these three girls. We called them the Plastics.”

“Why?” Angie asks curiously. Damian shows them all a photo. “Oh. I already don’t like this one.” Janis snorts quietly as she points to Regina.

“Anyway, they said I should sit with them, and Janis and Damian wanted me to so I could spy on them,” Cady says sheepishly. “They have some… personal history.”

“Oh?” Trent asks. Cady looks to Janis, this bit is her story to tell.

“Regina, the one in the middle, outed me in eighth grade,” Janis says. “Carved slurs into my locker, that kinda thing.”

“Oh, honey,” Barry says sadly. “That bitch.”

Janis chuckles weakly. “Yeah. The other two just kind of went along with it. They were just generally bitchy to everyone. But I didn’t have many friends because of her, and I went through a lot of counseling and stuff because of it. Spent some time in the hospital for… reasons, but that’s not… something we need to discuss right now.”

Everyone nods, respecting her privacy. Cady continues telling the story. “So, I pretended to join them and would kind of report back to Janis and Damian. I learned that they had this book, called the Burn Book, where they would write mean things about people from the yearbook and stuff. And at the same time I was crushing for a long time on this boy named Aaron, but he was Regina’s ex. She had dumped him earlier for another guy. And she was actually cheating on him with the other one.”

“Oh, can I tell this bit?” Janis asks. Cady nods and gestures for her to keep going. “So, around Halloween, Cady went to Aaron’s party, and I don’t know exactly what happened, but he basically got back together with Regina.”

“What kind of idiot-“ Trent begins, getting cut off by a stomp on the foot from Dee Dee.

“So poor Caddy came to my house,” Janis says, trying to keep down giggles at the memory. “Fucking slams my basement door open, but Dame and I were watching horror movies. Caddy was dressed as some corpse bride with a knife in her back and everything, and Damian screamed so loud, like, higher than I’ve ever heard. But she was crying, so we helped her and then came up with a revenge plot.”

Dee Dee suddenly looks very interested, leaning forwards slightly and resting her head on her folded hands.

“Caddy had these snack bars from Kenya, they’re… Swedish, I think?” Damian says. Cady nods. “They make you gain weight, like, really quickly. Regina was kind of obsessed with her weight and image and stuff, so we got Caddy to tell her they were actually a diet bar to help lose weight.”

“No,” Angie gasps. Everyone laughs at her reaction.

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “I don’t think anything major happened until around Christmas. The Plastics did this dance every year at the winter talent show, and we had to wear these skimpy little Santa outfits. But Regina had already gained a fair bit of weight, so her skirt didn’t fit…”

“It fell off in the middle of the routine in front of everyone,” Janis cackles. Emma and Alyssa both look slightly scared of her. “Sorry. Personal vindication. But yeah, that was kind of the beginning of the end for her. Cady kind of… got lost in it, by that point. It was hard to tell if she was pretending or not.”

Cady looks down at her lap in shame, so Janis takes her hand under the table and kisses the side of her head a few times to comfort her. Damian keeps going with the story.

“So, Caddy basically overthrew Regina as Queen Bee of the school. She threw a little party and didn’t invite us or Regina, so she kind of was attacking both fronts. We got pretty mad and stopped associating with her, and Regina was obviously furious,” he says. “And so as revenge for that, Regina photocopied the Burn Book and spread all the pages around the school. I saw, like, seven fights before first period even started that day.”

“But didn’t they know that she had written it?” Trent asks.

“That’s the thing, she put herself in it,” Janis adds, now holding Cady on her lap. “So nobody suspected her. She went to the principal and blamed Gretchen and Karen, they’re the other two, and Cady.”

“I don’t like this story,” Barry whines. “Tell me something good happens.”

“Oh, just wait,” Janis chuckles darkly. “There was an assembly called that day, and they tried to make us apologize to each other and do trust exercises or something like that. I kind of went rogue and only apologized to myself and rallied the rest of the girls in our grade.”

“Go Janis,” Angie says, sounding impressed. “Stick it to the man.”

“Thanks,” Janis laughs. “But it only lasted a few minutes.”

“Damn it,” Barry groans. “What happened?”

“Regina got hit by a bus,” Cady says. Angie spits her mouthful of lemonade over Trent.

“She what?”

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “So, that time kind of sucked for both of us. She was in the hospital recovering, and everyone was saying that I pushed her in front of it or that she jumped in front of it on purpose because of me.”

“She didn’t die?” Dee Dee clarifies. Everyone is more than a little concerned at the disappointment in her voice.

“No,” Cady chuckles. “Well, she died for, like, fifteen seconds, but she was resuscitated and she’s fine now.”

“And did you push her?” Barry asks. “We’re all friends here, you can tell us.”

“No!” Cady huffs. “I may have been a raging bitch, but I’m not an attempted murderer.”

“You didn’t feed anyone to a lion back in Kenya?” Janis teases gently.

“I’ll do it to you if you’re not careful,” Cady retaliates with a laugh. “Where did we leave off?”

“Regina got hit by a bus and you didn’t push her,” Trent says helpfully, still dabbing some lemonade out of his sweater with a wad of napkins.

“Oh,” Damian says. “Okay, so, I don’t… totally remember what happened in between that and Spring Fling, but it’s really not important.”

“I was suspended for the Book, that’s kind of it,” Cady says, gesturing for him to continue.

“Oh, yeah! Anyway, Spring Fling at our school is basically prom but for underclassmen, prom is just for the seniors. Jan and I were each other’s dates, she decorated our outfits and stuff, we looked killer if I do say so myself.”

Janis rolls her eyes lovingly and whacks him with an elbow.

“And Caddy was banned, so she wasn’t supposed to be there, but she showed up towards the end with the Mathletes,” Damian continues. “And she had been nominated for queen, and she won. So she went up on stage and gave the most beautiful speech I’ve ever heard and broke her crown, and we all got a piece. So now we’re all friends and life is good.”

“Nice ending, Dame,” Janis laughs. “Hasty conclusions. But that it is basically how it happened.”

Everyone blinks at them. Trent says, “That was like being in a war zone. Just one bombshell after another.”

“It kinda was, our math teacher got stabbed in the leg at one point,” Cady hums. “Anyway, what’s your guys’ story? If you want to share.”

“Oh, yeah, I’d like to know more,” Damian says. “Jan and I really only know the bare bones. What was in the news, and stuff.”

“You guys can start,” Emma says, pulling a face as Alyssa gently dabs some syrup off her lip. Alyssa giggles when Emma tries to bite her hand and kisses Emma’s cheek.

“Ooh, okay!” Barry says eagerly. “We were in a show. Well, Dee Dee and I. We were in a delightful little show called Eleanor.”

“As in…” Janis says confusedly.

“Eleanor Roosevelt,” Dee Dee explains. She seems surprised when the kids all nod in understanding. “You’ve heard of her?”

“Yeah?” Cady says, tilting her head. “She’s one of the most famous first ladies of all time, we learned about her in our history class.”

“Not nearly enough,” Janis grumbles. “Gotta make time for the men.”

“Amen sister,” Angie huffs.

“Really…” Dee Dee hums interestedly. “Anyway, it was… not a success. Poor advance sales, and then…”

“We bombed opening night,” Barry grumbles. “Apparently. But it wasn’t the show, it was… it was us. The media panned us as aging narcissists and we had to close.”

“On opening night?” Damian gasps in horror. Dee Dee and Barry both nod sadly.

“Regretfully, yes. So, we had to try to change the narrative,” Dee Dee says. “We decided to find a good cause and do something. So we were going to build houses for Habitat for Humanity.”

“But Barry has a bad back,” Trent pipes up. “So then we thought about, like, recycling or fixing poverty or world hunger.”

“But that was all too much for us to handle,” Angie says. “So I went on Twitter and found-”

“Me!” Emma says. “Apparently that all happened on the same night as the first assembly where the PTA cancelled prom in the first place. I guess we were trending.”

“And they only cancelled it because you two wanted to go together?” Janis asks sadly.

“Yep. Well, nobody knew about Alyssa, but they cancelled it because they knew I wanted to bring my girlfriend,” Emma explains.

“Those bitches,” Janis grumbles. “Sorry.”

“Believe me, we get it,” Emma laughs. “But my bit of the story isn’t quite here yet.”

“Oh, yes!” Dee Dee realizes. “So, we decided to help Emma, but we were completely out of funds and had no way to get all the way to Indiana from New York.”

“But I had just booked a non-equity tour of Godspell,” Trent half-brags. The other half seems rather depressed at that statement. “So we came on the tour bus.”

“Can I start our part?” Alyssa asks. Emma nods and squeezes her hand under the table. “So, they obviously gave no indication that they were coming. Emma and Principal Hawkins had gone to the State’s Attorney by that point and put some legal pressure on the PTA, so we had another assembly to discuss options.”

“We?” Damian asks.

“Oh, my mom was the head of the PTA,” Alyssa says casually. Damian chokes on his drink and Janis nearly drops Cady on the ground.

“Your mom cancelled your prom?” Janis asks in shock. Alyssa nods sadly. “Oh, because you… she didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“It was what it was. She knows now,” Alyssa hums. “Anyway, I was there to speak for student council. I was mid-sentence, and then they come barreling into the gym with signs and yelling at everyone.”

“Educating everyone,” Barry corrects. “Loudly and with signs.”

“Right, educating. Sorry,” Alyssa laughs. “So my mom totally loses her shit. It’s chaos. I think Trent had a cowbell at some point?”

Trent reaches into a messenger bag next to him and pulls out a cowbell, resting it on the table with a quiet thunk.

“You just keep that with you?” Janis chuckles.

“For emergencies,” Trent explains. “You’d be surprised.”

Janis tries to think of what emergencies she’s faced that would either be helped or solved with the addition of a cowbell, and surprisingly, she can think of a few.

“Of course he keeps it all the time,” Emma chuckles. “I don’t remember… most of what happened that time. But after a few days they announced that the prom was back on.”

“Because of you?” Damian asks, looking to the stars.

“No,” they all say at the same time Emma says, “I think so.”

Everyone looks her way. “I told you this at the time, but you guys really scared people! I think you at least had a part.”

“How sweet,” Dee Dee says. “Let’s say we had an ensemble part in getting it back on.”

That gets a chuckle from everyone at the table, before Barry continues with the story.

“I, obviously, had to take Emma shopping,” he says. “She only had one dress and it was… a travesty would be an understatement.”

“I’m honestly not sure where it came from,” Emma chuckles. “Just think Little House on the Prarie but somehow so much worse.”

“So we went to the mall, and found this lovely blue dress and some good shoes,” Barry says. Emma looks like she would disagree with his choice of adjectives, but nods. “Did her hair and makeup all fancy, and bought her a corsage.”

“Aww,” Cady coos. “How sweet.”

“That part was fun,” Emma agrees fondly. “But…”

“When we got there,” Barry says. “Poor thing was so excited, but it was-it was just-“

Dee Dee continues for him, as Barry gets too emotional to keep going. “It was totally empty. Barry took Emma into the gym, and it was just horrific. There were barely any decorations, and they were just thrown up. I would be stunned if they spent more than ten dollars on the whole thing.”

“Oh god,” Damian says sadly. “I heard it was a fake, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“It sucked,” Emma chuckles sardonically, trying not to get too heavy in the middle of an IHOP. “More than anything. I didn’t care about the decorations, I just… it was so lonely, you know? I realized then that so many people I thought cared about me just didn’t. So many people I thought were my friends, weren’t. I had never felt more alone.”

“It sounds awful,” Janis says.

“It was,” Emma mumbles. Alyssa takes her hand under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze. Emma looks up and gives her a sad but grateful grin.

“I was at the… other prom. The real one,” Alyssa continues, seeming ashamed. “I had no idea what they had done, everyone on student council and the PTA hid it from me too. Some of my friends had seen us together and realized I was the ‘secret girlfriend’ and were trying to break us up.”

“Which worked,” Emma admits sadly. “I called her to try to get her to come to my own personal prom so I could at least have her there, but her mom was at the real one with her and she couldn’t leave. And I just sort of… lost it. I hung up and we didn’t talk again for a week.”

“I never blamed you for that,” Alyssa murmurs gently. “You were still trying to process everything and I just added to it.”

“No, you didn’t,” Emma insists. “We can talk more later. Anyway. I ran out, obviously. And Angie actually came after me, which was nice. She just let me cry and didn’t make me do anything. Helped me get my makeup off and stuff. She even slept on my bedroom floor in case I needed something. It was kind of like having a mom there, which I really needed.”

“How fucking old-“ Angie begins, but Trent claps a hand over her mouth. Emma laughs and continues.

“And then the rest of them came by the next day even though I yelled at them,” she says.

“With ice cream!” Barry butts in. “That’s an important detail.”

“Oh yeah, they brought me Häagen Dazs,” Emma laughs. “It was cute. Especially because they thought I wouldn’t know what it was.”

“Can you blame us? You live in the most yeehaw hick town in Indiana,” Trent says. “And that’s saying something.”

“It’s not that bad,” Emma tuts. “Anyway, they brought ice cream and were trying to convince me to do something to bring more attention to what was happening. Dee Dee actually got me on a talk show at one point, but I knew I would never be able to do something like that.”

“You still owe me a house,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath. “But what she wound up doing was much better anyway.”

“The song?” Damian asks. Emma nods.

“I had it sort of in my head for a while, and I managed to piece it together in about a week,” she replies. “I was terrified, but it was just an overnight thing. I woke up the next day and it already had two million views.”

Alyssa squeezes her hand with a proud smile. “Half of them were me.”

“The other half were Damian,” Janis chuckles. “He made me watch it at lunch one day and we both watched it so many times we knew all the words by the next day.”

“Aww,” Emma says. “You guys are so sweet.”

“We try,” Janis and Damian say at the same time, locking eyes and glaring at each other once they notice. Cady giggles at their antics.

“Anyway,” Emma laughs. “I wasn’t expecting even that many, but people just kept watching, and then I started getting all these comments on it that were so precious. All these other queer kids all over the world sharing their stories too. Eventually it got back to Principal Hawkins and all of them, and they helped figure out how to set up an inclusive prom. And funded it, which was very helpful.”

“Yeah, helpful,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath.

“Once we saw where the money was going it was so worth it,” Barry says, gently kicking Dee Dee under the table. “It was beautiful.”

“It really was,” Emma agrees. “But god, it took forever to set up.”

“God, yeah,” Alyssa says. “Oh, and we got back together, like, as we were setting everything up, we forgot to mention that.”

“Oh yeah,” Emma says. “Her mom came when she heard what we were doing in the gym because we never got PTA approval-“

“So she was mad,” Alyssa butts in.

“Very mad,” Emma chuckles. “But you came with her and told her to stop talking, which was both hilarious and terrifying. And then you told me you loved me in front of everyone. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.”

“Me either,” Alyssa says quietly.

“Aww,” Cady says, even though she’s heard the whole story before. It’s always a good one to repeat. “How sweet.”

“So after that whole thing we finished setting everything up,” Emma continues, smiling at her girlfriend. “And it was beautiful, even I was impressed.”

“You looked so happy when everyone started showing up,” Alyssa says fondly. “I was so proud of you. I still am. You gave so many people an incredible night they wouldn’t have had without you.”

Emma flushes slightly and looks down at her lap. Alyssa squishes her cheeks in her hand to get her to look back up.

“It really was an incredible night,” she says. “And we finally got to dance together, I think that was my favorite part.”

“That was good,” Alyssa nods. “But you’re a terrible dancer.”

“Hey! Just because I didn’t take dance classes for years,” Emma pouts.

“Oh, hush, I’m joking,” Alyssa says, kissing Emma’s cheek.

“You missed,” Emma continues pouting. Alyssa frowns in confusion and kisses her cheek again, but in a different spot. “You missed.”

Alyssa gives her a chaste kiss on the lips this time, and Emma finally smiles. Alyssa rolls her eyes lovingly. “You’re such a dork, goodness gracious.”

“You guys are almost as cute as Caddy and Janis,” Damian says, trying to snap them out of it and get them to remember the presence of the group.

“Almost?” Alyssa says, her competitive side making a slight appearance. “I think you’re biased.”

“Oh, definitely,” Damian agrees. “We don’t really have any unbiased judges though.”

“True. We’ll say it’s a truce for now,” Alyssa says. “Are we all done? I need to get up for a bit. I’m stuffed.”

“I think so,” Cady says, looking around at all the empty plates around. “We could go to the beach for the sunset, if you guys want. It’s not too far a drive.”

“Ooh, yes please,” Emma says excitedly. The adults play rock paper scissors to work out payment, and Dee Dee grumbles under her breath when she loses.

“Hungry kids. Why are pancakes so expensive?”

————-

“Oh, guys, look!” Damian says, pointing to a window of a thrift shop nearby. “We could go try on dresses!”

“We?” Janis chuckles, carrying Cady on her back. “You gonna get into a ballgown, D?”

“Why not?” Damian asks. “I have the figure for it, shut up.”

“I thought we were going to the beach,” Angie says.

“We can do both,” Barry says, seeming strangely excited. “Wear dresses to the beach.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Cady says eagerly, squeezing her legs together a bit to get Janis to go in, as if she’s riding a pony. “Please?”

“I am not paying,” Dee Dee says immediately. Everyone else nods, that’s only fair.

“Fine, fine. Come along,” Trent says, leading them into the shop as their gaggle of children follow like ducklings.

—-

The employees look a bit concerned as all nine of them parade to the discounted gown section and start looking for ones in their sizes. Damian finds his first, a royal purple gown with a high neck and a slit that would reach about to his knee. He takes it off the rack and heads over to the changing room, rapidly followed by Barry with his silver gown.

“How did-“ Emma stutters. “I guess they knew what they were looking for.”

Angie helps Trent find one that would fit him, an emerald green dress with long sleeves and a nice v-neck collar. He shrugs and follows Barry and Damian. Angie then moves on to find one of her own, and picks out a sleek black dress made of lace and with a shorter skirt, about to the knee. Dee Dee follows with one she seems to have grabbed at random, a nice yellow gown complete with a cape.

Alyssa picks a pink dress with a longer train, since she wore a short dress to both of her real proms and wants to experiment a little. Cady picks a yellow one, with longer sleeves and a bow in the back. The skirt is short, which makes her a little nervous, but she decides to give it a go.

Janis and Emma both look a bit lost, staring aimlessly at the racks and flicking through them weakly.

“Jayjay, try this one,” Cady says, offering a long, red, short-sleeved gown that looks like it would have a rather tight fit. Maybe Cady has some selfish motivations here, but she’ll never admit it. Janis raises a slightly suspicious eyebrow, but takes the dress and hauls her girlfriend off to the changing rooms.

“They all look so itchy,” Emma shudders slightly. Alyssa laughs and takes one of her hands.

“If you got one made of something like this it wouldn’t be too bad,” she says, showing Emma one made of an almost satin-like material. “And it’ll only be a couple hours at most. We’re going to the beach, sand is itchy anyway.”

“True,” Emma agrees with a little nod. “I like this one.”

“So try it,” Alyssa chuckles as Emma grabs an amethyst colored ballgown with a big poofy skirt. “Come on.”

Most of their group is waiting outside the rooms, clad in their ill fitting gowns. Trent’s is a bit too big, Barry’s is missing some sequins, and Angie’s has a small hole in the sleeve, but none of them complain.

Cady and Janis open the curtains to their respective rooms, revealing their dresses to one another. Janis is somehow not tall enough to fill her dress out, which makes her look a bit like Morticia Addams, but she doesn’t mind. Cady’s is almost perfect, but the skirt clings to her legs in an odd way.

“You look nice!” Cady says, gently adjusting Janis’ sleeve as Janis tugs at her collar.

“It’s a bit tight,” Janis says, sounding rather choked.

“I can fix that once we buy it,” Barry says, looking at himself in the mirror. Everyone looks at him in concern. “What? I have a stitch kit, I’ll just cut the collar off it.”

“Oh,” everyone says. Alyssa and Emma exit the changing rooms then, prompting coos from everyone.

“Emmy, you look beautiful!” Alyssa says, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. “The color really suits you.”

“Does it?” Emma says, sarcastically striking a pose. “It feels very… purple.”

“I like purple,” Alyssa hums, adjusting Emma’s skirt.

“You look really nice,” Emma replies, looking at Alyssa’s long dress. Hers is the closest to fitting correctly out of everyone’s.

“Thanks!” Alyssa says, putting her hands on her hips and popping out a knee. Emma laughs and kisses her gently.

“Okay, let’s go!” Angie says happily, having been taking pictures of everyone like a proud mom taking photos for her Facebook. Angie, Trent, and Barry split the cost among them, and they unleash their prom-ready selves onto the public.

—————-

“So you guys just graduated, right?” Alyssa asks, strolling down the shore holding hands with Emma. Cady and Janis are also hand in hand walking next to them.

“Yep!” Cady chirps.

“So you must’ve just had your senior prom too, what was yours like?”

“It was so fun! Damian took me shopping and I had the most beautiful dress,” Cady replies eagerly. “And Janis had a suit to match and it was… she looked… so hot.”

“Ooh,” Emma teases. “Scandalous.”

“Hey,” Cady says. “I’m allowed to think she’s hot.”

“Fair enough,” Emma shrugs.

“What about you guys, how are you handling your post-prom fame?” Janis jokes.

“Pretty well,” Emma chuckles. “Or at least I think we are.”

“You certainly are,” Alyssa murmurs.

“Oh yeah, aren’t you starting a nonprofit or something?” Cady asks.

“Wait, what?” Janis asks.

“I’m trying,” Emma laughs again. “Lyss’ mom is actually helping me. And trying to start a charity looks, like, super good on college applications, so that’s nice.”

“I thought your mom started this whole fiasco,” Janis says confusedly.

“Oh, she did,” Alyssa confirms. “But she’s cool with the gays now. She had a lot of questions and stuff, and she’s still having to work pretty hard at it. Changing opinions and thought patterns that were instilled in you from

childhood is tough. But she’s trying.”

“Yeah, she came to pride with us this year,” Emma says. “It was cute, she had a rainbow pantsuit and everything.”

“Go mom,” Janis chuckles. “I’m glad she turned things around.”

“Me too,” Alyssa murmurs quietly.

“Me three,” Emma says, squeezing her hand.

“So what’s this charity you’re getting going?” Cady asks.

“It’s called the Unruly Hearts Foundation,” Emma explains. “It’s a nonprofit that takes donations and stuff to throw other inclusive events around the country. Create safe spaces. And we also donate a fair bit to LGBTQ+ shelters and stuff, too.”

“That’s awesome,” Janis says. “I’m broke but I’ll donate a bit once I get my commissions business going.”

“Thanks, Janis,” Emma chuckles. “You know, we could use some branding. A logo, stuff for our website. If you’re interest-“

“Yes,” Janis interrupts. “I’m interested. Please.”

“Groovy,” Emma laughs. “I’ll be in touch, get Cady to give you my number.”

“You say groovy too?!” Damian asks eagerly as he makes an appearance. “These two always make fun of me for it.”

“Hell yeah I say groovy,” Emma says, giving Damian a fist bump. “Sometimes it’s the only word that fits the vibes, you know?”

“Yes!” Damian says. “See? Emma gets it.”

“I think ‘tits’ is pretty versatile,” Janis says. “You kind of look like Ursula, by the way, Dame.”

“Thanks,” Damian says, swishing his purple skirt around. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”

“It was,” Janis huffs. “As if I’d ever insult you.”

“You called me a ‘fucking deplorable kneecap’ on the way here,” Damian retaliates. Emma and Alyssa rode separately and burst out laughing.

“And now I have grown as a person. Developed myself.”

“It was ten minutes ago!”

“And? I’m not the same me I was two minutes ago, let alone ten,” Janis defends.

“Thank god,” Damian grumbles jokingly.

“Hey!” Janis says, breaking away from Cady and running after him. Damian shrieks and holds up his skirts to run away.

“Do we need to intervene here, Cades?” Emma asks with a slight chuckle as Damian and Janis sprint up and down the shoreline in a sort of oval.

“Nah,” Cady shrugs. “They do stuff like this about once a week. Janis knows she needs him, she won’t actually do anything.”

Just as she says that, Damian takes a hard left and runs full tilt into the lake. Janis pauses for a second before shrugging and running after him.

“Or maybe she will.”

“That water must be cold,” Alyssa chuckles in concern.

“Let’s find out!” Emma says boldly, tightening her grip on Alyssa’s hand and running them towards the water as well. Alyssa shrieks as they leap into the lake with a splash. Cady realizes she’s alone and also runs in, managing a cannonball into the water.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Barry yells, walking up on a sort of puddle of teenagers in soaking wet dresses.

“They’re being kids, let them live,” Dee Dee says. “Unrelated, can you swim?”

“Yeah, wh- don’t you dare,” Barry says, turning to face her.

“Oh, I would never,” Dee Dee says, aghast at the mere suggestion. Trent then comes sprinting up and tackles Barry into the lake. “But he would.”

Angie cackles and high fives her. Dee Dee crosses her arms over her chest and smiles down as Barry pops back up with a splutter.

“Dee Dee Allen!” Barry demands. “Get your ass in here.”

“No, I don’t think I will, thank you,” Dee Dee says casually, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet.

“Oh come on,” Angie coaxes. “It’s only fair.”

“I didn’t push him!”

“You had a role.”

Dee Dee ponders this for a moment before she begrudgingly reaches to take Angie’s hand, and they leap in together.

“Yay!” Emma cheers, delighted that all her friends made it into the lake one way or another. Some of them are significantly less happy about this, but everyone is laughing eventually.

“Hey, Caddy,” Janis says. She swims over to her girlfriend and kisses her gently, before booping her nose. “Tag. You’re it.”

Cady laughs as Janis swims away as fast as she can, rapidly followed by the rest of the group. Cady swims around for a second while she ponders her options to decide who to go after. Emma is a strong swimmer, being on her high school swim team and all. Alyssa is okay, but a bit weaker.

Barry seems to be the slowest, and gives her the best chance of success. He looks very anxious as Cady stares him down before lunging for him. He shrieks as Cady manages to snag his skirt and tap his arm under the water before she backstrokes away.

“Damn it,” he puffs. “I’m having elementary school flashbacks.”

“Better than middle school flashbacks,” Angie calls.

“Amen,” Janis says. She screams as Barry goes for her and swims away, huddling behind Damian for protection.

“Hey!” Damian whines, swimming away from her and creating a sort of three-way chase. Janis quickly gives up on Damian’s protection and swims to Cady instead.

“Protect me,” she pleads. Cady smiles as Janis hides behind her, peeking over her shoulder to check where the threat is.

“You’re so cute.”

“No I’m not,” Janis pouts. “I’m being stealthy.”

“Uhhuh,” Cady says as Janis clings to her like a precious little octopus. “If you get me tagged again I’m breaking up with you.”

“That’s fair,” Janis agrees with a shrug. Alyssa suddenly gives a shriek as Barry taps her leg under the water. “Uh oh.”

————-

After an hour or so of tag, the sun begins to set for the day. The water temperature plummets and everyone swims to shore to watch the sky be painted beautiful shades of pink and orange and purple. The adults and Damian head back to the car to go hunt for towels and dry clothes somewhere.

But Cady, Janis, Emma and Alyssa stay behind, deciding they don’t mind so much if they’re in heavy, cold dresses and getting covered in itchy sand. Cady holds Janis on her lap and Alyssa has Emma in hers, all of them staring out over the expanse of the water before them together.

“You guys should visit more often,” Cady says quietly as the first stars begin to make an appearance.

“Absolutely,” Alyssa says, looking down at her girlfriend. “This was an awesome day.”

“And we’ll have more,” Emma says.

Together.

—-

thank you so much for reading! hope you enjoyed!

lots of love,

ezzy

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asmileyoucouldbottle · 3 years ago

Text

elevator buttons (and morning air) - cressder

@winterrhayle THIS IS SO LATE I’M SORRY ELLIE ILY <3 for the smgh gift exchange!

word count: 2137

cress asks her (very cute) apartment neighbor to help her catch a spider, while struggling with infatuation.

- <3 -

“Um… hello?”

The confused face of Cress’ next apartment neighbor searched her own, and Cress wondered if it was too late to back out. They’d made eye contact exactly once before, when they’d gotten in the elevator together. The girl had returned her smile, so Cress figured she was nice enough.

A singular smile was probably not the best basis for asking a favor of someone at 7am. Especially this kind of favor. And talking to strangers was very high up on the list of “things Cress hates.”

It was definitely too early for this.

Then the sight of the spider that had crawled across her keyboard filled her mind and she shuddered in her slippers.

“Erm… hi.” Cress wound her hand in her hair, very aware that it was early and she’d probably just woken this girl up. However, as she looked her neighbor up and down, Cress realized that she looked very much awake- with a smudge of grease over her eye and hands covered in work gloves.

She also realized that grease, googles, and all, her neighbor was pretty.

Talking to strangers was one, very stressful, thing, but pretty strangers she was attracted to? Abort, abort.

“Come in?” Cress was grateful as the stranger pushed the door open, despite the fact that she hadn’t managed to come up with anything to say. Cress shuffled in, her overlong t-shirt she’d slept in brushing her knees. Despite the grease stained work tank top her neighbor was wearing, she still had sleep shorts on, which made Cress feel a little better about being in her pjs.

Cress cleared her throat awkwardly, her hands straying to braid her hair subconsciously. “I’m Cress, and I live next door?”

Great initiative! You sounded like you were asking her a question!

“Cinder.” The girl- Cinder- introduced herself hesitantly. “Nice to meet you?”

“Can you help me get rid of a spider?” Cress blurted, hands in her hair coming to a standstill.

Cinder looked slightly taken aback, but bemused. “Sure?”

Cress breathed an internal sigh of relief. Thank God. She isn’t even looking at me like I’m weird.

“I was finishing an assignment when a huge one went across my keyboard, and it was, like, three inches long. Well maybe not that big, but you get the point. I hate spiders… ” She realized she was starting to ramble and flushed, strangling her hands in her hair. “I’m sorry to bother you, especially in the morning.” She emphasised.

Cinder shrugged. “It’s no problem, I was up early working on an assignment anyways.”

The assurance gave Cress barely any relief. “I can offer you food?” She added, hoping to smooth over the fact that she existed.

Cinder laughed, and the slight tension in the room was released. “In that case, I’m sold.”

Cress peered over Cinder's shoulder, and caught sight of a workbench pushed against the corner of the room. Perched on the edge was what looked like…

“A bot?” Cress loved coding AI tech, and was actually majoring in computer science.

“Yeah, I’m a mechanic, well technically an engineer, but I do some other personal projects on the side.”

“That’s so cool!” Cress felt her grip loosen from it’s anxious hold. “I’m a coder, and AI tech is some of my favorite.”

“Really? I have a bot named Iko, and she’s been mentioning something about color changing eyes? While she loves my physical additions and such, I’m sure she’d appreciate some technological improvements.”

Cress beamed. “Wow, a personal bot? I’d love to check her out sometime!”

“That would be great.” Cinder held her gaze for half a second, before they both looked away. It might’ve been Cress’ ever overactive imagination, but she could’ve sworn she felt sparks. Then again, that happened every time her useless lesbian self made eye contact with a pretty girl, but still.

What is this, a rom-com?

Cinder cleared her throat, before leading them to the door. “Show the way?”

Cress leapt at the opportunity immediately, leading them to her apartment. Cress pushed open the door, forcing herself not to jump away as soon as it opened a crack.

“I’ll go first.” Cinder must’ve noticed her anxiety, and she gave her a comforting smile that both soothed Cress’ heart and made it beat more erratically.

Taking a steadying breath, Cress followed Cinder in, leaving the door open in case she needed to make a quick exit.

Cinder grabbed a glass from the counter, which also made Cress feel lighter. Setting spiders free was better than killing them, even if they were spiders the size of her thumb.

“By your laptop right?” Cinder gestured to the work table, and Cress nodded with a nervous gulp.

A leg crawled up and over the desk and Cress jumped, clinging to Cinder. The tan girl sagged under the sudden weight, one arm coming up to support her from underneath.

The sudden touch made Cress freeze. She realized her arms were wrapped around Cinder’s neck, and she was clinging rather tightly. I just quite literally jumped into a super cute stranger’s arms. Stars help me.

Cress considered hopping down, when the spider ran across the floor by Cinder’s feet. She squeaked, and clung tighter. She vaguely thought of how awkward this must be to Cinder, but there no fucking way she was touching the same ground the spider was on.

Also, Cinder was remarkably buff and did not seem to be struggling at all.

Must be all the mechanic work? Cress thought with a slight flush.

Stop thinking about a girl’s muscles! We’re in the middle of a crisis here!

Cinder scuffed her foot, and the spider raced back up to the table. Cress winced, and watched through partially closed eyes in awe as with her free hand, Cinder dropped the cup upturned on the spider.

“I got it!” Cinder’s voice was right besides her ear, and Cress widened her eyes. The spider was indeed secure in the glass, and Cinder’s hair was in her eye.

With a blush, she fully realized her position once more. Her heart sped even faster than before, which she didn’t know was possible. Cinder smelled of car grase and faintly cinnamon. A combination that was shockingly attractive. The thought made her flush even deeper, as was the fact that her bare legs were gripping a small strip of the neighbor’s midsection where her shirt had ridden up.

“Ahaha,” Cress laughed awkwardly, doing a weird shoulder pat thingy. “Thank you.” Is this flirting?

Cinder tilted her head to look at Cress, and from their position, the movement made their faces remarkably close. With yet another squeak, Cress dropped to the ground so fast she stumbled.

“You’re welcome.” Cinder’s voice was bemused as she bit her lip in an attempt not to smile. It was distracting, but soon Cress was giggling. Cinder joined her, and all her anxiety melted.

“Alright, there’s still Part 2.” Cinder cautioned, gesturing to the spider. Cress considered it.

“We can drop it in the flowersill.” Cress suggested, gesturing to the window.

“Flowersill?” Cinder repeated.

“Oh.” Cress flushed a tiny bit in embarrassment again. “I don’t exactly know the word for it but like, those cute little flower beds that attach to windows?”

Cinder shrugged with a smile. “Works for me.”

After poking around a bit, Cress came back with a piece of paper. Cinder bit back a smile again, and Cress found her gaze pulled to her lips. “This part might get a little scary, if you need to hop in my arms again.” She said it wryly, teasingly, but Cress suppressed the urge to bury her head in her hands and disappear forever.

Rather than jumping into Cinder’s arms again, she settled for hopping on the counter and keeping all parts of her body away from the table and floor. From her new perch, Cress watched as Cinder slid the paper under and brought the spider to the window to release it.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Cress gave Cinder a wide smile when she turned back to her. Cinder smiled back, and her eyes crinkled. Cress’ heart fluttered again.

“So… grease huh?” Cress realized what a weird conversation starter that was and blushed as Cinder raised an eyebrow.

“Huh?”

“Well- you smelled like it and there was some above your eyes and well-” Cress stuttered to a rambling stop because she really didn’t know how to explain why she said that. She didn’t know why she said that.

“Oh.” It was Cinder’s turn to blush as she scrubbed at her eye. The grease stubbornly remained, and Cinder’s nose was wrinkling with concentration through the effort. Cress tried to repress a smile, but it was impossible.

“Here, let me help.” Reaching to the side, she picked up a cloth off the counter. Running it under water until it was damp, Cress gestured Cinder forward. Hesitantly, her neighbor stepped towards her, and Cress lifted the cloth. Carefully, she brushed away a few strands of hair, and Cinder’s breath hitched a bit. Cress thought hers did too. She gently rubbed at the grease, and with the soap on the cloth, it came off of Cinder’s reddening face with little effort.

“Maybe we should try a collab sometime?” Cinder seemed to almost blurt it, catching Cress by such surprise she almost dropped the cloth. The moment had felt like a pause, and the disruption startled her. The girl had seemed so calm and collected, but the chink in the armor was just as nervous as Cress.

Despite her initial surprise, she glowed at the suggestion to spend more time getting to know her cute next door neighbor, and resisted jumping off the counter and spinning.

“That would be amazing.” Cress hopped a bit in excitement, and Cinder gave her a fond smile.

“Do you want to stay for breakfast?” Cress wasn’t sure what compelled her to ask, and she buried her hands back in her brown tangle of hair.

“Oh!” Cinder seemed pleasantly surprised, and Cress beamed. “That would be great!”

“How do pancakes sound?” Cress crossed to the fridge, practically buzzing with excitement as Cinder followed right behind her.

“Amazing. And can I help?” Cinder was right at her shoulder and Cress nodded, uncertain if she could find coherent words as she got out the supplies for pancakes.

Cinder grabbed a bowl that was, unbeknownst to her, filled with pancake powder. Her face lifted in shock as it poofed out of the bowl, covering her features in a layer of powder. Their laughs mingled as they poured water into the mix, and Cress felt lighter than she had in weeks. Cinder took to sitting while Cress heated the stove and got the eggs going. Occasionally, she would sneak a look over at powder-covered Cinder and grin to herself. One time she almost burnt the eggs as she got distracted.

"Here." Taking a dishrag from the stove handle, Cress swiped it quickly around Cinder's face - considering - a little too late that she just should've just given the rag to her. Two times in one day!

Cinder coughed a bit, her hands going to fiddle with the ends of her sleeves as she leaned back on her heels, pink in the cheeks.

"Thanks." She managed. Cress smiled, plating the eggs and getting ready to start cooking the pancakes.

After a few minutes, they had settled into a steady conversation about their studies and work. Cress filled with excitement as they discussed plans to build a robot that could make them ice cream. It had started as a joke, but the more they talked about it, the more realistic the idea became.

"I would make sure it has strawberry for myself." Cress was saying. "What about you."

"Butter pecan." Cinder responded immediately.

"Oooh, good choice. French vanilla would be my second."

"Me too!" Cinder replied. "Nothing wrong with a classic."

"Agreed!"

The more they conversed, the more Cress was enamored with Cinder's wit and sharp mind. She'd always been a romantic, falling in love quickly. But she'd learned her lesson in the past, and was happy to bide her time and truly get to know Cinder.

A timer on her phone rang, and Cress jumped.

"My first class is in 15 minutes."

"Oh!" Cinder stood up as well. "Yeah.. here's my number." She scribbled it on a napkin. Cress grinned as she wrote hers on another napkin.

Handing it off to Cinder, their fingers brushed. It was far from the first contact they’d had this morning, but it filled Cress with a feeling of hope nonetheless.

Cinder tipped her head, giving Cress a simultaneously sweet and wry smile. “Call me if you see any more spiders.”

Cress laughed, waving at Cinder on her way out. “Will do.”

She knew that spiders weren’t the only thing she’d be calling about.

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johannstutt413 · 3 years ago

Text

(requested by calligomiles)

“*yawn* Ahh...Good morning, Rhodes Island!” Magallan hopped out of bed and twirled around. “Good morning, Mayer~”

“*yawn* Good morning, Maggie.” A bit slower on the uptake (before her first coffee, at least), the Anaty nonetheless rolled to her feet, grabbed her bathrobe, and trudged towards the kitchen and her beloved coffee pot.

The Liberi followed after her, humming an Alive Until Sunset deep-cut as she started cooking breakfast - two servings of Rhine Labs Dehydrated Delectables. “We didn’t talk a lot last night, so I hope you don’t mind me talking your ears off today.”

“You’re the *yawn* only person I’ll take a day off for.” She lightly slapped her face as her coffee pod started brewing. “How was the Pole?”

“Oh, just splendid as always. I have sooo many papers to write over the next few months!” That was usually the way Rhine Labs’ winter wanderer worked - prepare an expedition, go on said expedition, come home and write up her discoveries for other researchers to sift through, field questions, rinse and repeat.

It was exactly that rhythmic schedule that made her a welcome part of Mayer’s life. “Think you’ll get it all done before the next one?”

“I don’t know, it really is a lot. Some tech stuff, some culture stuff, some climate stuff, really a bit of everything.” As the coffee pot finished its magic, she finished rehydrating their meals and brought them to their three-seat table. “What do you eat when I’m not here?”

“Uh...Huh. I dunno. Food, I hope.” The roboticist grinned at the Liberi’s confused frown.

She shook her head. “You know, I really do worry about you sometimes.”

“I’ve got my Meaboos, I’m fine.” The Anaty draped her not-coffee-holding arm over Magallan’s shoulders. “It’s always better to have you around, though.”

“Aww~ ” The explorer rewarded the compliment with a peck on the cheek.

Before Mayer could take it any further, there was a loud rat-tat-tat on the door, followed by, “Mayer? You busy today?”

“Iffy?” The Liberi’s eyes lit up. “Can I answer the door?”

“You do whatever you want, hon,” she replied, sipping her coffee.

Maggie jumped to her feet and popped over to open the door. “Iffy!”

“Aunt Maggie?” The Sarkaz blinked before hugging her. “You’re back!”

“I sure am! Flew in last night.”

The burninator giggled. “That’s a funny image. Good morning, Mayer!”

“Morning.” She gave her a little wave. “Since Maggie came back last night, we’re taking the day off. Did ya need something?”

“I just wanted to see you today. Can I hang out for a bit?” She walked to the table with the explorer, taking what had been Maggie’s chair in doing so.

The Anaty smiled. “Sure, but you’ve gotta tell me something.”

“What?” Ifrit watched her smile curl wider. “Come on, what is it?”

“There a reason she’s ‘Aunt Maggie’ and I’m not ‘Aunt Mayer?’ Hmm?” The bystanding Liberi broke into a giggle fit.

The Sarkaz cocked her head. “Do you want to be Aunt Mayer, Aunt Mayer?”

“Ahhhh. Much better.” She sipped her coffee triumphantly as Magallan dissolved into a puddle of mirth in the far chair of the isosceles triangle layout. “Alright, I gueeeess you can stay, then.”

“Oh, thank God, I was worried you’d say no.” The burninator relaxed in her chair, glancing at the coffee maker across the apartment but not asking for any...yet.

That piqued the engineer’s interest. “Worried? There is something you want to talk to her about, isn’t there?”

“Well, yeah, but I don’t wanna bring down the mood.” Any time Ifrit wasn’t an absolute fireball, though, there was a good chance she was sulking instead. “And I didn’t know I’d get to see you today, too, Aunt Maggie. Did M- Aunt Mayer invite you over for breakfast?”

“Eh?...Wait, Mayer, does she not know?”

The Anaty shrugged. “I dunno.”

“What don’t I know?” About three seconds later. “Ohhhhh. THAT’S why you want to be Aunt Mayer.”

“Sharp cookie, this one,” the roboticist asserted, earning a Liberi giggle and a Sarkaz glare.

Maggie replied through her mirth, “She knows more lesbians than men, I’m pretty sure.”

“Three moms, two aunts, Amiya, Rosmontis, Red-” It was at this point that Mayer realized they’d struck a nerve. “That’s what you wanna talk about, isn’t it?”

“Kind of, yeah. How do I ask the girl I like out on a date?” Ifrit looked from one to the other for an answer.

Magallan and Mayer looked back at her, dumbfounded. “Uh...”

“What?” The Sarkaz’s glances became more incredulous. “You two are dating, right?”

“Is it dating if you never go on dates?” The Liberi wondered aloud for the first time.

The roboticist got up to load up the coffee machine. “I’m gonna need more coffee.”

“How do you not go on dates if you’re a couple?” The burninator’s books had lied to her! “That’s, like, against the rules!”

“Well, Iffy, back at Rhine Labs it kind of was? Silence and Saria were another story, but we...It’s complicated.”

The Anaty nodded. “Lot’s of politics and stuff. I don’t think your mom’d want us to get into it with you yet. How long has it been, though, hon? Ten years?”

“I think so. We accidentally rented the same apartment, but since my expeditions are for months at a time and Mayer lives in Meabooland, we didn’t see much of each other until after my first expedition from Rhine Labs.” Maggie sighed, the memories flooding back to her. “Two hours after I got back to the apartment, I accidentally walked in on her showering, and that was that.”

“...Seriously?”

Mayer didn’t even wait for her coffee to cool; in a move only mad scientists can ‘safely’ perform, she downed the cup in one go and set it back under the tap for another one. “Ooh, that hit the spot. Yeah, no, that’s what happened - I went to grab a towel from my room, she came out of hers to start cooking dinner, her eyes dropped, and we both knew. Never really thought about it much.”

“That’s the lamest story I’ve ever heard!” Ifrit looked at the explorer. “No offense, Aunt Maggie.”

“I mean, now that I think about it, it is kind of weird, but it worked out. Ten years later and I’m as happy to see her in the morning as that first night home.” The Liberi turned around to lean over the back of her chair.

The Sarkaz shook her head. “Well, that doesn’t help me ask Eyja out on a date.”

“Oh, I like her.” The Anaty walked back over to the table to sit in Magallan’s lap. “She saw me outside of my workshop once and asked if something was wrong. So cute.”

“Was there something wrong?” The explorer wondered aloud.

Mayer snorted. “Yeah, I ran out of coffee and had to run to a cafe for some, but still, it was cute.”

“Aww. Wait a minute.” Something clicked in Maggie’s head. “Iffy, why were you coming to ask Mayer about dating if you didn’t know if she’d done it before?”

“Because Silence and Saria are both busy, and I wanted to see her either way,” she replied.

The roboticist flashed the Liberi a grin. “See? She’s just the sweetest.”

“Uh-huh.” Magallan giggled. “She’s gonna buy you ice cream, isn’t she?”

“...You are, right?” Ifrit looked at Mayer expectantly.

She feigned shock long enough for all three of them to start laughing. “Hey, don’t ever let them tell you bribes don’t work. Actually, great idea - ask Eyja if she wants to come get ice cream with us. We can all go on our first date that way!”

“Oh, we should change if we’re going out, though.” The explorer poked the Anaty through a hole in the side of her bathrobe. “Can you give us a minute, Iffy?”

“An actual minute or a ‘mom-minute?’” Her aunts shared a look, and the Sarkaz had her answer.

Three mom-minutes later, and two giggly engineers were walking their niece to the ice cream shop to meet her girlfriend and have their first date.

#arknights #arknights fic #mayer (arknights)#magallan (arknights)#ifrit (arknights)#okay i know it's not an AMAZING reason for them to be together #but i stand by it!#sometimes things happen and you don't realize until later how weird they were #and these two definitely operate in a different place than most of us do #...it's fine #it's allllll fine

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mermaidenisaacs · 4 years ago

Text

isaac is a soft warm husband

it’s the night of lydia and malia’s bachelorette party and isaac is concerned by his wife’s drunken texts and questionable appearances on other people’s snapchat stories.

romance/humor, married au, isaac is very fond of his wife

warnings: graphic sexual language

To clarify, going to Dildopolis was Lydia’s idea, not mine.

Lydia’s bachelorette party turned out to be a pretty wild night. After dinner and drinks, Kira surprised us with a party bus. She also invited the men from the strip club to join us, so we all piled in, and danced and drank as we were driven around the city.

We figured Malia wouldn’t mind that her bride-to-be would be grinding with oily, shirtless men with perfectly sculpted six packs the night before she got married; after all, she was the one who pulled the youngest dancer, Lito, between her and Lydia and made a human gyrating sandwich.

Isaac texted me around 1 am, right after I’d downed another shot of fireball whiskey.

Isaac (1:10 am): Looks like you’re having a good time

I was confused by his text and showed it to Erica, who explained that it was probably because she had posted a video of me on her Snapchat story licking salt off of one of the stripper’s abs. If she kept this up, I’d be divorced by the time Lydia got married. With blurry vision and sloppy fingers, I texted him back, determined to make actual words happen.

me (1:13 am): hhe was hot butt uknoww I like your soft tummmy mre

Dildopolis was a sex store at the corner of Baker Street and Cedar Drive. Lydia noticed its bright flashy neon sign and pointed out that it wouldn’t be a bachelorette party without stopping at the local sex shop. She had a fair point.

I tried to my best not to let on that I’d never been to a sex store, but all the alcohol was breaking down my cool exterior. Stumbling into one of the aisles, I came across a jar of multicolored circular rubbery things, which turned out to be flavored condoms. It was Kira who found me, doubled over in laughter with tears in my eyes.

“What’s so funny?” she asked, rubbing my back.

I held up a blue condom that purported to be mint flavored. Wheezing through breaths of laughter, I slurred, “It’s a blue condom, Kira. Why would anyone want to turn their dick blue? Who is trying to have sex with smurf dick? Also, does this mean people are putting on condoms to give head?” Kira and I held on to each other while we sobbed from giggling so hard.

“You should get one of these for Isaac,” she drunkenly suggested. I finally managed to calm down, but after hearing her recommendation, another round of giggles ensued.

“Oh my god, can you imagine me going up to Isaac being like, ‘Honey, I think my breath smells bad. Mind if I have a taste of that minty dick before work?” Kira doubled over in laughter. Another condom caught my eye, an orange one that looked surprisingly appealing. “Hey look, this is citrus! I like this flavor. You know what, screw it, I’m getting it. I think Lahey might be a little mad at me, so I’m gonna get him a present. The gift of blowjob!” I declared with bright hopes.

“You totally should! No guy’s gonna turn down an enthusiastic, flavored blowjob. Trust me,” Kira said like she was relaying classified government information.

I paused. “Wait, have you and Scott…?”

“...chocolate is our favorite flavor.”

“Oh my god, they have chocolate?!”

~*~*~*~

My first visit to Dildopolis was not a frugal excursion. I ended up buying two twelve packs of flavored condoms, and nearly skipped out of the store with my tiny gift bag, eager to show Isaac my latest investment.

An hour later, the party bus dropped me off at my house. Malia and Lydia walked me to my front door and I hugged them for a little too long, probably.

“You guys are the best, the best! I loooove you, and I love love, and I love the lesbians, I love your hair, Lydia--” Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrapped around me and saved Lydia from my rambling. I was hugged from behind into someone’s warm chest. I looked up to see a tuft of curly hair blowing in the wind. It was Isaac, smiling down at me.

“Hi baby,” he said warmly. “Did you have something to drink?”

“My husband!” I exclaimed in drunken thrill. “My husband, I love you so dearly, you’re so tall and good, babyyy you smell so good, how do you always smell like cinnamon buns…” Turning around, I stood on my tip toes and sponged open-mouthed kisses along Isaac’s throat. He lovingly stroked my hair and awkwardly bid Lydia and Malia goodnight.

“Thanks so much for dropping her off,” he said. “Congratulations on everything. I’m so happy for you two,” Isaac sweetly intoned, then walked us inside our home.

I stumbled into our living room, set down the gift bag, and began what my inebriated brain firmly believed was a perfect seduction process. While I wasn’t as wasted as I had been earlier, I was still slightly tipsy, and very excited to give Isaac his present.

If only I could remember how to take off my clothes. I fiddled uselessly with the buttons of my coat. Isaac watched me struggle with an amused twinkle in his eyes. After many failed attempts, I pouted at him. “Isaaaac,” I whined. “Can you help me take my clothes off?”

He chuckled and relented. He took off my coat and helped me out of my heels, all the while steadying me as I teetered every which way.

“What’s that?” he asked curiously. He was looking at the small silver bag I’d brought home that was on the coffee table. He reached over to retrieve it.

I slapped his hand. “No! It’s a surprise,” I said with a grin.

“A surprise? I’m surprised you had time to stop somewhere and buy something. Didn’t it get in the way of all the stripper licking fun?” he said grumpily.

“Aw, babyyy,” I cooed and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Were you jealous? I’m sorry, I was really drunk, but you know it didn’t mean anything. And you know I’m not lying, wolfie,” I said, tapping his ear.

Isaac sighed. “I know. I just didn’t know there would be strippers.”

I nodded and apologized again. “I know you’re upset, but not to worry! That’s what the present is for. Come on, husband, let’s go to the bedroom!”

He should have been used to this behavior by now; I was always a happy and horny drunk. I grabbed the gift bag and tugged on Isaac’s hand, pulling him behind me. When we reached our bed, I lightly shoved him so he fell back on the mattress.

“Feeling a little aggressive, Mrs. Lahey?” Isaac teased. He leaned up on his elbows and grinned at me. I shivered. He knew I liked it when he called me that.

“Just… excited to show you the present,” I said bashfully, throwing a smile over my shoulder. “Now take off your pants, Mr. Lahey.”

Isaac’s pupils dilated and his smile disappeared, replaced with a look of longing and lust. He obeyed wordlessly. I unzipped my dress, pulling it over my head. When I finished undressing, I was left in a set of matching black lacy lingerie. (Lydia had hand picked the party favors, and she decided I looked best in black.) Isaac was laying on our bed, completely naked, smirking with sinful intentions.

His eyes raked hungrily over my body, and all of a sudden, I remembered what I intended to do, and I felt really, really silly. And very embarrassed.

“I bought flavored condoms,” I suddenly blurted out. The sexy mood I’d successfully cultivated came to a screeching halt.

Isaac blinked. “What?”

I sighed and pulled out the contraceptives. “They’re flavored condoms. That’s the surprise. It seemed like such a good idea at the sex store--”

“You went to a sex store?” Isaac interrupted. He was biting back a grin. “Was this your first time at a sex store?”

“Yes,” I said sadly. “And I got a whole bunch of these condoms, but I was also really wasted. And now that I’m not as wasted, I just feel really dumb,” I finished lamely. I plopped down on the bed beside Isaac and looked down. “I’m sorry. I ruined the sexiness.”

Isaac chuckled affectionately. “Baby, it’s okay. You didn’t ruin anything. Here, let me see those.” He took the condoms from me and inspected each one. “Holy shit, I had no idea this was a thing.”

“Neither did I! That orange one looks the least gross.”

“Yeah?” Isaac looked up, eyes wide with surprise. He grinned wickedly. “Wanna try it?”

I gaped. “Really? You want to?” I asked shyly.

“Yeah, why not. Not about to turn down a blowjob from my gorgeous wife,” he said smirking. He kissed the corner of my mouth.

I laughed and kissed him back. Fisting his curls, I laid on top of Isaac while we made out. He squeezed my ass and pulled me closer, and his tongue lightly swiped across my bottom lip. I felt him, hard and ready, and pressed against my thigh. I licked my palm and rubbed him, and he hissed at the initial contact.

“Mr. Lahey?”

“Hm?”

“I’m like weirdly excited for this.”

Isaac chuckled fondly. “Cute.”

Sitting up, I tore open the condom wrapper and licked the rubber. The taste settled on my tongue. It was vaguely citrusy.

“Hm, not terrible,” I described. I rolled the rubber onto Isaac’s erect shaft. Once more, the sexiness came to an abrupt stop.

One look at Isaac’s bright orange dick, and I fell backwards laughing.

“Oh my god,” I gasped between fits of laughter. “Honey, that looks so ridiculous! It’s just so, oh god, it’s just so dumb.” I was crying now, wiping away tears before they ruined my makeup.

Isaac stared at it, transfixed with disbelief. There was so much confusion and horror in his expression.

“It’s… orange,” he said, bewildered at the surprisingly bright apricot hue. “Babe, my dick is orange. They should’ve called this condom The Donald Trump.”

Laughter bubbled in my throat again and I fell into his side, laughing into his shoulder. This time, he joined me.

“I still maintain this is better than the blue ones,” I said. “At least you don’t have smurf dick.”

Isaac looked at me confused, then erupted into giggles. “Yikes. Well, what should we do?” he asked, frowning at his erection. He looked so annoyed at his own body. My original intent was to ease his annoyance, and I was going to see this through, dammit.

“We’re gonna do what we came here to do,” I replied, biting back another laugh.

“You don’t have to--” I shushed Isaac’s protests with a kiss, and straddled his legs. I wrapped my fist around his cock, which had shriveled slightly during our laughing fit. Leaning down, I tried to ignore the bright tangerine color and gave it some experimental licks.

The unpleasant color was easy to ignore once I heard Isaac’s groan of pleasure. I closed my mouth around the head and swirled my tongue around him, trying to extract more of the slightly sweet orange taste. I didn’t actually expect the flavor to be enticing, but it did actually motivate me to keep going. Slowly, I moved my mouth lower down his shaft, taking him inch by inch.

“Fuck, baby,” Isaac groaned. “That feels so good, just like that…” His hand came down and sweetly brushed away strands of loose hair from my face. He collected all my hair into a makeshift ponytail and tugged. The pressure felt so good on my scalp that it urged me to take him deeper.

It would be expected that being married to him would let me get used to Isaac’s size. He wasn’t the biggest I’d ever seen, but he was still considerable, and I had to take him just as slowly each time (unless it was one of those nights where we wanted it rough and hard and fast and the sex was on the good side of painful).

I had taken nearly all of Isaac when he reached the back of my throat. My eyes involuntarily stung with tears, but no part of me wanted to stop. Isaac helped me. He held me down with one hand, and combed his fingers through my scalp with the other.

“That’s good baby, that feels so fucking perfect. You take me so good,” Isaac grunted.

He finally let go, finally let me move away to breathe. I didn’t wait long to take him back in, suctioning my lips around his shaft as I bobbed my head up and down. I knew he was about to come because I could hear him panting, could see him white-knuckling the bedspread and clenching his stomach.

I released him with a tiny pop. “Come on baby, are you gonna come for me?” I purred encouragingly and vigorously pumped his shaft with my fist. “That’s it, you’re so close, you’re so fucking close…”

“I can’t, I can’t hold on, I’m coming,” Isaac harshly whispered. He grunted my name and I made fast work rolling off the condom. Isaac firmly cupped my chin and entered my mouth again. He quivered on my tongue, then released down my throat, coating my mouth.

Isaac stared at me, dazed and fucked out, and fondly stroked my cheek. He tugged on my arms and pulled me next to him, cradling me against his chest.

“How was that for you?” he asked a little nervously.

“Good, actually. You?”

“I liked it,” he said quietly.

I smiled victoriously. “Then it’s a good thing we have twenty three more condoms.” Isaac snorted. “We can always borrow some from Scott and Kira if we run out.”

Isaac gaped. “I’m sorry, what? They’ve used these too?”

I nodded. “Where do you think I got the idea?”

Isaac smiled into another kiss. “You’re incredible, Mrs. Lahey.”

another’s note: i found another isaac fic from my old blog. thank god for google docs. pls let me know what you think or interact with me bc i love talking about isaac and the world is on fire ahaa <3

#isaac lahey imagine #isaac lahey smut #daniel sharman imagine #daniel sharman #daniel sharman smut

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literaphobe · 5 years ago

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season one of she-ra rated by catradora content

the sword part 1: right off the bat we find out just what adora’s all about. she’s a so called goody two shoes but she’ll lie to authority to protect catra.... ok lesbian lmao. but then we meet catra and she’s like “hey adora ;) how’s it hanging?” and we get it. we completely get it. oh my god. everything from the way catra talks to the way she laughs. adora never stood a chance :( we get a classic locker room flirting scene where catra teases adora and adora pretends she’s above all that only to be like hey cat gf is that a MOUSE which is very rude :( don’t scare ur cat gf or she will become evil :( oh wait. anyway.... their flirting gets cut short because homophobia walks in and separates them :/ before that tho she praises adora. adora who loves her gf so much ignores shadow weaver’s praise and says “catra did so good tho <3” and puts her arm around catra which pisses off the only homophobe in etheria. adora doesn’t really want to follow shadow weaver because she just wants to be with catra, and she even argues with shadow weaver about bringing catra onto the field with her. but she loses the argument because shadow weaver fucking sucks and has no idea how to be chill :/ catra finds adora after that and greets adora the way all gals greet their pals. by... pouncing on her waist. ok lol. catra is so proud of her gf getting promoted and says baby i love you <3 baby when are we leaving <3 except adora says catra’s not allowed to come :( so cat gf gets sad and runs to the roof. in response, adora gets a literal Grappling Hook to chase after her. adora doesn’t want her gf to be sad so she steals a skiff and they go on a date <3 but they’re so obsessed with control and play fighting with each other that adora falls off the skiff and finds out she’s like. god with a sword. i mean she-ra. uh, so adora fake wakes up in a dream and is like catra? :( because catra is the only thing she ever looks for when she wakes up (yes i am clowning. of course i know catra was the only person she was with but shhhh), and then she wakes up for real and catra is straddling her waist, which... ok. catra worries about her gf maybe being brain damaged so they cut their date short and go back to the fright zone. they go to sleep, and have their nightly sleepover, which means they sleep in the same bed :) even tho catra’s own bed is already on top of adora’s :) superb :) anyway adora dreams about her lesbian sword and wakes up scared. she smiles when she sees catra sleeping soundly in her bed however because uwu cat gf go zzzzz. adora gets out of bed which catra IMMEDIATELY senses because she opens her eyes right after and follows adora. because uh.... their friendship is just that lit and strong. catra is worried and wants to follow her gf to find this cool lesbian sword she keeps talking about, but adora makes perhaps one of the worst calls ever and tells catra to stay behind because she doesn’t want to get catra in trouble :( which is like, she has good intentions and all, but you should always bring your gymnast cat gf along when u look for sick ass gay swords. adora would know that if she wasn’t raised by the literal embodiment of gay oppression. oh well. guess they’re gonna have to fight each other for five seasons to figure it out. 9.5/10 because we got so much content all literally in the first ep. it’s like hey look they’re in love and they’re girlfriends who touch each other way too much. and we’re like noelle that’s really cool! will we get more gf content? and noelle said yes but also you’ve got a big storm coming! and it’s going to kill you!

the sword part 2: against adora’s wishes, catra gets in trouble for adora’s departure, and this makes catra sad bc where did her gf go? :( shadow weaver accuses catra of knowing where adora is because despite her raging homophobia she still knows that adora wouldn’t go anywhere without telling catra. and she’s right but just because she’s right doesn’t mean i have to like her. anyway... catra gets sent to bring adora back to the fright zone, and even tho shadow weaver threatens her in scary horrid ways catra is only happy to see adora again and once again pins her to the ground with her knees on adora’s.... yea........ and she’s happy bc she has a tank :) good for u catra we all love and cherish you <3333 anyway catra makes fun of adora because she thought adora got captured which... technically true but also not but also! catra sees a flower in adora’s hair which she takes to mean that adora cheated on her :( wtf :( and adora says no baby :( no i didn’t cheat on u :( and catra is like. ok fine. let’s go back to the horde. and adora says baby we can’t go back to the horde :( did u know that they were evil? im woke now. come be woke with me. and catra is like. wait. u just realized the horde sucks? did you not see shadow weaver electrocute me. did you think she did that for gay rights? and adora is like catra baby i didn’t mean it like that :( but it’s too late. it’s all very upsetting and i don’t wanna get into it. essentially catra thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse by fighting the horde from within but adora thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse and the horde’s evil by literally escaping the horde. u can see where both of them are coming from and that’s why it’s so sad :( it’s so fucking sad y’all :( they do their whole. come with me vs stay with me thing,,, and it doesn’t work out. duh it’s like ep 2 why would it work out. catra finds out that adora can use her lesbian sword to turn into a taller lesbian and instead of giving into her gayness and marrying adora right away her internalized homophobia makes her run away :( she thought adora doesn’t care about her anymore because she has new friends and can turn into a giant sword lady :( and it’s all very sad :( 8.5/10

razz: adora’s having trouble turning into she-ra. no one asked, but based on this whole show, it’s because she just broke up with catra and that hit hard :( it’s pretty hard to turn into ur superhero alter ego when you’re yearning. back at the horde, catra is also yearning. she is bitter because everyone is raving about how lit she-ra is and catra is like yeah she-ra is sexy but can we have a discussion about how she-ra breaks your heart. how she-ra makes you cry. how she-ra abandons you for new friends and doesn’t want to be your gf anymore? have we considered that? and everyone is confused because why does catra seem like she knows she-ra so well. didn’t you just meet her catra? and even tho catra is a bitter ex who’s angry and wants revenge she’s still like. in love with adora and wants to protect her. so she acts cool and doesn’t tell anyone that adora is she-ra. even tho lonnie tells catra not to be so feral because “adora’s not here to protect you anymore” catra still wants to protect adora. okay. yes the thought of that does make me wanna cry. what about it. catra goes and lies on their shared adora’s bed. and she sees the teeny drawing of catra and adora on the bed frame. it reminds catra of the break up and she scratches adora’s picture. she regrets it like instantly and starts destroying the bed. and she cries. she like cries real tears what the FUCK. and then SHADOW WEAVER WALKS IN?? rude much?? can’t a girl get some privacy as she mourns a break up with a girl she’s been in love with her whole life but technically never dated for real? 9/10

flowers for she-ra: adora realizes that it’s a pretty bad idea to break up with your girlfriend when you spent your whole life sleeping in the same room/same bed as her and she comes to the Very Shocking realization that she gasp! cannot sleep without catra! wow who would have thought! so she immediately goes on a search for a sleeping partner rebound... who is glimmer (sorry glimmer it’s her first time not having her gf) and she even sleeps at glimmer’s feet the way we saw catra sleep at adora’s feet. really makes you wonder if catra and adora take turns doing that? sleeping at each other’s feet because their internalized homophobia (thanks a lot shadow bitch) prevented them from going a step further and sleeping in each other’s arms... oh well. meanwhile, catra is gloating about being force captain, but she’s also Still protecting adora’s identity as she-ra. and apparently, drawing pictures of she-ra? that she hid from shadow weaver? is that what happened? i can’t tell if she drew that picture or not but the way it looks from the scene she Definitely drew that picture! hello????? anyway, catra’s still crying to anyone that has ears about how her gf dumped her, when really it was kind of a mutual break up that was entirely shadow weaver’s fault even tho she wasn’t there. sigh. i’m bringing this up to a 7/10 because of “it’s just a phase! she’s confused, i’ll bring her back, i swear :(“

the sea gate: “i’ve got something more important to do” and here we see the start of catra literally abandoning all other duties because she would rather go flirt with her enemy gf... she literally hopped onto she-ra’s sword.... she insult her gf....... she brag to her gf about achievement.... but she also want her gf back :( adora refuses to go back to the land of oppression tho so they get into a. really suggestive fight. and catra always makes adora leaving the horde out to be adora leaving her.... she’s like babe i am literally so sexy. why would you dump me :( i’m hot :( and she’s right but i hate them. can y’all just like. not be so gay? :/ it’s starting to make me a lil bit homophobic tbh! and catra whispers into adora’s ear but it’s kind of like an insult so she gets water slapped and is forced to stop flirting :( boooo 8.5/10

system failure: hm. catra wasn’t in this ep? damn :( it’s a great ep but it’s pretty hard to find any catradora if adora is delirious the whole time and catra isn’t there. but! drunk/high adora existing gives us an idea of what she would be like around catra. 1/10 for the potential

in the shadows of mystacor: catra’s face when she sees adora in shadow weaver’s spy cam thing... interesting. she also acts like she’s So Sick of the adora missions which is true but also she is lying. kind of annoying that shadow weaver would be like. homophobic. but when she’s messing with adora’s head in mystacor she uses catra’s voice and laugh to achieve maximum effect :/ which like. thanks? but catra wasn’t actually there so shadow weaver really full on gaybaited adora huh :/ adora eventually defeats shadow weaver and we finally see catra again uwu she ends up plotting to kidnap bow and glimmer but the line “if you want to take down adora, you have to go for the heart” is so interesting because we eventually find out just how much of adora’s heart is filled with catra... 4/10 on its own 6/10 if you let the heart comment ruin your life!

princess prom: ARE Y’ALL READY TO PARTY oh my god,,, this is it you guys. this is THE ep. so funny of adora to be like. i have so many plans for every single thing that might happen. i am GOING to spend the party getting princess frosta to join the rebellion. and then catra shows up and adora is like nvm. what if i followed catra wherever she went instead. which is very interesting! adora, sweet baby, why do you always assign yourself to fight/follow/chase catra? when according to her in future eps is actually a bad decision which we can infer from her saying stuff like catra knows my every move she will be able to take me down,, ok then stop hogging her all the time?? anyway. let’s get into things chronologically. “how dare those princesses pretend they’re better than you? just because you’re different? how dare they abandon people just because they don’t fit in with their perfect little lives? how DARE they take best friends and turn them into giant sword ladies who run off with people clearly inferior to you?!” catra.... u got sth to say there buddy? :/ u got something u wanna get off your chest? :/ u had us in the beginning but then you started to get really specific :/ what’s that about sweetie :/ catra’s coping mechanism for this is to put on a really hot suit and going to princess prom to seduce the shit outta adora? fucking genius. yes she also kidnapped two people but let’s focus on the ingenuity of catra’s plan to make adora hot and heavy and also somehow jealous the entire time. incredible. so, catra shows up at the prom with scorpia and adora immediately starts bickering with her about rules. she fails to get catra kicked out so she resolves to stalk her instead! and catra... oh catra... she puts on a whole show..... performing everything from popping a tiny cake into her mouth to circling around a pillar seductively and dropping a note into a bin that says hi adora >:3 with a drawing of catra’s face that she worked hard on!! and adora looks like a crazy stalker ex gf and everyone is like damn.... u ok? :/ but adora doesn’t have time to care too much aside from a little “haha i swear i’m not a weirdo!” look because her mind is just screaming CATRA CATRA CATRA and she finds catra creeping up to entrapta. but ofc catra’s not trying to push entrapta off the ledge! no! she’s using entrapta to make adora jealous :3 catra pulls entrapta close and says “she stole my food and then asked me to spy on people with her. is this what love feels like?” and it WORKS and adora has to pull entrapta aside and be all hey i know we’re not super close yet but the bro code kinda states that u don’t date ur friend’s ex :/ so could you please back off? and entrapta is like say what now? ur gf just ditched btw so adora goes running after catra again and surprise surprise! it’s time to dance! and there are romantic lights and music! and uh oh! everyone else has a partner except for catra! guess this means adora’s gotta dance with her ohhhhh noooooooo :/ “i don’t know about you.... but i am having a blast” i really don’t think catra was lying!! i am on the verge of passing out!! adora moving away from catra after saying “whatever it is you’re planning, it won’t work!” and catra, many dance partners later, slamming back into adora’s body to continue their conversation with “maybe my plan won’t work, but then again...” THE DIP!!!!!!! “maybe it already has...” oh my god you guys. what the fuck. like they get into an angry shove fight after this but the tension! the tension! and then adora LIFTS catra up in the air? real close? they get ice blocked by frosta after this, more specifically she traps adora because she shoved catra first djfjdjdjdjd,,, after telling glimmer to find bow catra grazes adora’s chin with her tail to remind her that she’s still here!! don’t neglect!! and catra says the iconic “it was fun distracting you though ;)” line that adora was clearly affected by because she memorizes it and says it back to catra..... years later. i CANNOT make any of this shit up. what the fuck y’all. the fact that these evaluations are so long bother me but i HAVE to call these hoes out!! moving on, adora runs after catra in a very dramatic chase/fight scene, and adora is very amped up on uh, hormones. she catches catra at a “dead end” and goes “hah! trapped >:)” which is such a stupid thing to say to ur cat gf who can jump very high, so catra says “you wish ;)” and it is just. everything they are saying sounds very suggestive okay why are they LIKE THIS anyway catra jumps up some floating ice and adora follows her up the floating ice because she’s gay and she will jump however much is required of her to chase her gf down ok!! and so adora and catra are now on some ice cliff where adora keeps lunging and they’re also kind of like dancing? and catra is being very ~smooth~ dodging all of adora’s strikes and hitting her in one move. that’s kind of cool but also don’t bully your gf :( come on catra :( not cool :( but adora doesn’t give up and they continue fighting, until one missed move from catra nearly sends her off the cliff. but adora thinks she’s hot and she’s in love with her so she’s like nooo catra don’t fall off this cliff ur so sexy aha and catches her by. the waist. not the hand! but by the waist. any normal person would’ve gone for the hand. factually speaking, catra’s hand is easier to reach than her waist. but adora’s a hoe. so, she grabs catra by the waist and pulls her in closer by grabbing! oh you guessed it! her chest! like she grabs her shirt but it’s the part of the shirt that was at the chest. what the fuck. they both get this look in their eye that makes it seem like they want to kiss each other???? hello????????? and like. very upsettingly we now know that they’ve always wanted to kiss each other so. that knowledge makes watching this scene even worse. they shouldn’t have become enemies if they were going to be this horny. they’re so distracted by each other’s lips that they forget they’re standing at the edge of a cliff and guess what! they fall off the cliff! what a twist! but adora is like i’m NOT going to die because i was distracted by catra’s lips, so she grabs her hair stick thing and stabs it into the ice cliff. she grabs catra by the hand to save her, not the waist this time, because holding catra’s hand is also gay so she might as well do it. too bad catra lets go of her hand and ditches her tho :( i would minus points for that except it wouldn’t make much of a difference. catra says “see you later, princess ;)” because she’s already expecting to see adora again.... good lord 4828473737373/10 thanks noelle! i died

no princess left behind: but i’m a buddhist so i’m back. we open with catra laughing so prettily looking at her gf’s lesbian sword. very cute. later on, when shadow weaver betrays catra and tells her to go pack her things because she’s not needed anymore... adora gives her this look? :( she looks like she feels bad because catra’s clearly still suffering under shadow weaver’s thumb. but let’s zero in on the most important part! catra dragging the sword and pointing it at adora, before turning it around and giving it to her. “this is NOT because i like you” ok catra i didn’t think that before but now i Absolutely believe that you did this because you like adora. and u can tell adora kind of is like. ready to start her whole “you can come with me! we can be together! :(“ thing but things are complicated and catra told her to Just Go so... it is a lot and we know things are deeper than just catra liking adora but we will get emo over that later. 9/10 that was a good fucking scene

the beacon: “she left me behind too, like i was nothing :(“ some people say this is catra manipulating entrapta, and they are correct, but also she’s like.. “oh adora left you too? mad kin :(“ she was deadass about to start a support group with entrapta and technically she kind of did! good for them <3 catra goes to look for first ones tech and adora goes to look for the beacon to learn how to heal and guess what happens! they’re looking for the same place! catra’s “on second thought... hey adora >;)” at the end pushes this up to an 8/10, but that’s just like the last five seconds of the ep so objectively the rest of the ep was like. 4/10 idk lmaoooo

promise: finally some good fucking food. catra follows adora into the beacon and has a little fun spying on her and enjoying her epic fails at getting information on she-ra. she also finds the first one tech she needs, because she’s a multitasker and she can spy on her gf while doing important missions <3 but also she gets caught and adora nearly kills her fksjdjd “hey watch it! >:(“ is so funny because catra??? u are trespassing???? but also uwu baby yeah don’t accidentally kill ur gf adora :( adora’s reaction is also very funny “catra? what are you doing here? :O” as if catra hasn’t shown up at 70% of the places adora has been, but the way she asks it’s like. adora is happy to see catra? pleasantly surprised? man she is whipped. anyway, adora tries to pull the Tough Girlfriend move and like, mildly scold catra for trespassing into a building where only one person (she-ra) is allowed to be in. but she still grabs catra’s hand and guides her to an escape path :’) she lifts up a giant door thing and waits until catra runs in to let go and run after her <3 chivalry isn’t dead after all <3 they get into a lover’s tiff as they run for their lives and essentially it’s like “babe wtf WHY are giant mutant spiders trying to kill us isn’t this ur house” “they’re trying to kill YOU this is why you ring the doorbell instead of running in secretly after i open the door!” “oh and how was i supposed to know that! why can’t you just tell your teenage mutant ninja spiders to chill out??” “they’re not house-trained babe :( i moved in two minutes ago they came with the apartment” anyway the angry spider monsters catch up to them so catra goes “adora? :(“ and that’s enough for adora to take Direct Action so she slashes the walls and ceiling of the room they’re in before grabbing catra to shield them both. she is NOT getting her deposit back but uwu anything to keep gf safe <3 adora transforms back to her usual body and she once again reminds catra that she’s Not Supposed To Be Here and she’s like “god now i have to like Protect You and it’s gonna put my life in danger :/ haha what are you gonna do for me in return tho ;)” and catra is like. “well good thing i didn’t ASK you to protect me” so adora is like :( —> >:( wait u know what??? ok u know what????? why are u here >:( how’d u find me?? >:( and do u mean any of this in a gay way?? >:( say it’s in a gay way right now >:( and catra is like. ur gay castle sent a gay beam of light into the sky. i saw it immediately bc im gay but i do NOT mean this in a gay way. and adora is like oh :( ok :’( and then asks about shadow weaver bc she saw what went down in the horde and she like. i think she can tell shadow weaver still exerts some form of control that catra hasn’t broken free from? :( and then catra is like haha shadow weaver is a LOSER and adora starts giving her Gay Looks and it makes catra scared because her gf now thinks she has a crush on her!!!!!!! how Embarrassing!! “ugh, i knew you’d be weird about me letting you escape” ok so why did you say that thing about not liking her? “i told you it’s not because i like you!” there it is! that’s EXACTLY what i thought you’d say you lesbian! and the way she says it??? she definitely likes adora???? she is so bad at lying?????? and adora is so smug about it like her Face plus her crossed arms and the whole “i mean, i didn’t ;) i didn’t say anything ;)” her eyes.... your honor she’s gay...... she’s like what if we were in my secret castle..... standing amongst the rubble because i destroyed the infrastructure to protect you..... and we were both girls....... adora was Ready to turn her sword into a Bed right then and there ok!!! it’s not me it’s Her Eyes,,, anyway catra starts being salty again and brings up bow and glimmer and is like hey where’s those idiots u dumped me for :/ thought you looooooved hanging out with them and doing everything with them :/ like we used to :/ are they not as fun to hang out with adora is that why you’re standing in this spider infested building with me instead :/ and adora suddenly remembers that she can’t just be horny and that she has to hold catra accountable for her actions so she’s like oh my friends? the ones who u kidnapped and held for ransom???? >:( and catra is like ya what other friends would i be talking about :/ like god i know she’s evil but she’s so funny take her back adora :( jk ik ur gonna start begging her to Come With You in like minutes u absolute simp. but before that happened catra was like fuck u lets Split Up >:( we already broke up why would we run away from spiders together huh? unless u still like me? but clearly there’s only one way for them to walk so they can’t split up just yet and adora gives catra this >:( look so catra is like FINE one last date and they walk away together. they go into this... dark room and catra wants to leave the dark room because she’s scared of ghosts :( jk but the door disappears and something scans catra and adora and light hope is like cool! time to show them memories that are specifically picked to make catra resent adora! which :( not cool light hope :( i get that ur a bot who’s programmed to serve the homophobic agenda but damn u were gay once too :( anyway they’re sent to a memory in the fright zone and adora gets Angry bc she thinks catra tricked her and catra is like i wouldn’t play u like that :( and she finds out it’s all fake so she’s like adora :D u don’t have to be scared or mad at me anymore! :D she goes to look for adora but adora’s watching a memory of them when they were six and being really cute. back when adora had the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair and only really cared about making catra happy and having her back. catra blinded octavia and insulted her and adora was still like: ur not bleeding ur bones aren’t broken and u picked a pointless fight with someone who did not provoke you in any way. where is she i will insult her some more. i love u. like damn adora really do be a ride or die girl huh!! she’s still like this but they both have too many issues to realize it :( anyway catra and adora slip into the catra and adora of their memories and begin running off together holding hands............ and then they Realize they’re running off together Holding Hands....... and catra pulls away because of her internalized homophobia :( devastating. they get into a tiny little fight over magic and kidnapping again and then adora’s face softens and she’s like catra :( why Did you let me escape :( i know i made fun of u for it before but i legit do not know if u meant it in a gay way. pls confirm? :( u could have gotten caught catra :( why did u risk it :( is it because you secretly want to run away with me and join the rebellion? :( and be my gf? :( she’s so caught up in her questions that she nearly falls off a cliff AGAIN and catra catches her by the hand because these girls are obsessed with almost falling off cliffs to their deaths and saving each other. don’t judge them their Intricate Rituals are THAT deep. and catra is like. did you really think. i would let shadow weaver erase your memory like that? and risk you forgetting our relationship? even towards the end when we were broken up and fighting each other it was kinda lit and i want u to remember it. and adora is an idiot so she’s like idk lmao probably aren’t u like evil now and catra is like well you have a point but also fuck u for thinking i don’t care about u,,, u never did have too much faith in me :( and adora is like can u blame me :( and catra is like ur hot so.... no. i will let my tail linger on your hand as a hint that i still love you. and then catra is like.... adora i know u said fuck horde rights but does that include our relationship :( u had good memories right :( of me? :( and adora is like um duh??? i miss you so goddamn much too oh my god and catra is like hey how dare you imply that i missed you even tho it’s true!!! get over urself! and adora is like not until you admit you like me ;) and they play fight again because the rituals are so intricate..... and catra lies and says she doesn’t like adora ok lmao... they enter the next memory and it’s catra and adora sparring and they’re competitive but it’s also flirty? catra pretends to be hurt to get adora to let her guard down but lonnie interferes and this causes adora to beat catra. which. yeah :( and after adora wins she does the good gf thing where she asks catra if she’s okay and catra’s not ok but she lies and hides away to cry :( and we get it babe we do!! it’s hard being in love with someone who you’re also resentful of because you’re raised in a competitive environment and always treated like you’re worthless in comparison :( but the simulation stops and catra is caught by one of the spiders and adora doesn’t manage to save her in time, grabbing her hand only to fail and have catra slip through her fingers :( they scream for each other but catra manages to get the upper hand on the spider monster, except adora charges in at the last second and delivers the final blow, further driving home the false point that light hope is trying to make :( adora just wants to protect catra but because of their upbringing catra sees it as adora always wanting to be the best and adora thinking she’s better than catra hence her telling catra what to do “all the time” which isn’t totally true but it’s what catra has been led to believe :( and also adora’s upbringing plays into it too because she thinks she has to save everyone and take responsibility for everything and it’s all just really sad bros :( what the fuck :( adora apologizes for leaving again and tries to convince catra she never meant to leave her and that she wants catra to come with her because she knows catra isn’t a bad person :( and you can see!! catra considering it!! but then precisely BECAUSE catra is considering it the memory simulation thing kicks in again and... hoo boy. we see catra and adora sneak into the black garnet chamber, after being cute and competitive and running around the horde swinging from wire to wire.... they get caught by shadow weaver and she specifically punishes only catra. and it’s so fucked because it puts adora in this position of guilt where she always feels like she has to protect adora whilst slowly brainwashing her over the years into believing that catra does do disobedient things and that adora can only escape that if she’s always perfect and taking charge of everything. and for catra.... it takes the mutually loving relationship they have and poisons it because shadow weaver makes it very clear that to her, catra’s only redeeming quality is that adora favors her? and if not for that she would be disposed of? and so it’s very hard for catra to find individuality and a healthy connection to adora which created unresolved resentment and issues and just... :( and the whole confrontation they have after the simulation ends... adora could never protect catra in the way she needed to be protected because adora was also a child, and receiving a different form of abuse, and it’s just. harder for catra to leave? especially because she didn’t receive a sudden destiny the way adora did and her issues with the horde were never limited to morality. and so catra is just. she has way too much to work through and she can’t see past her resentment for adora because the machine is making her remember all of it. and so she tells a half truth and half lie to adora about giving her the sword because she didn’t want adora to come back :( catra runs away from adora and is attacked by flashes of memory. and then she faces one last memory alone. and it’s the promise adora made to catra when they were kids, about always looking out for each other, and catra looks at kid!catra and thinks adora has broken that promise, still stinging from the hurt of adora leaving her behind after finding the sword and becoming she-ra. it was never meant to be like this but catra is hurting so she focuses only on her side of things and how she saw these events play out and she :( decides to kind of betray adora? it hurts So Much because adora looks so hopeful when she sees catra while hanging on for dear life, and she thinks catra will save her again but catra talks about how the sword won’t work for her because she’s never been the Special One like adora was always heralded to be in the horde. and having adora literally be she-ra just drives that point home for catra and she hates adora for it because this means all the other stuff she believes is true too. adora made her feel weak on purpose, adora made catra think she needed her on purpose. “every hero needs a sidekick, right?” and adora’s “catra, no, that’s not how it was!” hits even harder now because we know that adora just. loved catra. she was in love with her but adora was also like catra in that she’s a product of her circumstances and upbringing. she was the way she is as a means of survival. but the one thing there that was pure and true was that they loved each other.... upsettingly neither of them can see that. catra goes down even further into the path of evil and thinks that. being free of adora. is the thing that will liberate her and bring her happiness. which. she is wrong about. but she can’t exactly see all that clearly right now :( and adora begging catra not to “do this” which... means she’s begging her not to leave? “bye adora! i really am going to miss you” and adora’s desperation skyrockets but it’s too late :( catra doesn’t come back for her and adora cries.... and it’s just so insane that literally everyone who wants to control adora focuses on poisoning her bond with catra because that’s the relationship that... matters most to her in the world. when you’ve loved someone your whole life it hurts when they betray you and it hurts to betray them too, as we can see from catra when she arrives back at the horde. she essentially looks Wrecked and freezes up when scorpia calls her “the best friend ever!” but i want to make one quick note of her “personal space” talk with scorpia? like fjdjdjdjd you have never had personal space with adora not once in your life ok that’s reserved for the gf only i see. 10/10 i am so wrecked emotionally this is way too much but also because it makes me so emo i will give it a perfect score but nothing else. no bonus points because i do not want to reward putting me in pain!

light hope: light hope showing adora the memories that make her feel guilty and it’s the first scene where catra sees her as she-ra and walks away.... adora’s been feeling guilty over catra since the moment she failed at getting catra to leave the horde :( 3/10

the battle of bright moon: “catra will be leading the horde when they attack. i have to face her.” it’s so interesting how there’s so many pressing things at hand? the weather is screwy, the alliance is broken, no one’s coming to save them, the rebellion could be crushed, but the thing that is really bothering adora, the thing that she brings up first, is catra. “i saw catra in there. i thought i could get through to her, but all i did was push her farther to the side of evil” she sounds... so heartbroken about it all :( catra and adora meet on the battlefield and the first thing catra says is,,, u guessed it,,,, “hey adora.” and adora’s like “catra. surprised to see me?” and like damn they’re really so good at being enemies. the talent. the tension. impeccable. and then catra says nah i didn’t think u died and im glad u made it out alive. and adora, bless her soul, is like oh.... u mean in a gay way..... u didn’t want me to die..... for homosexual reasons?? and catra is like no! haha! i uh, i just wanted to kill u in a cooler much sexier way. and adora is like oh :( oh >:( oh >:’( and they get into a very heated sexy fight like catra wanted. and they taunt each other like. “i thOUgHt yOU weRe suPposED tO bE stRoNG” “aND i tHouGHt yOu wERe sUpPOsEd tO bE fAst” you know. very cool well crafted taunts. and like. they fight a lot which is kind of sad but also kind of sexy because their styles are like? similar and different? which is the dumbest way to compare any two things ever but like :( y’all get what i mean right :( we get one more Hanging Off A Cliff scene and this time adora grabs catra by the chest and shoves her against the wall, and catra is like cool! but u did this,, for what? and then adora realizes catra was just distracting her Again and bright moon is very badly under attack :( catra bids her adieu so adora can run back and fight. but she like. gets caught :( and catra walks up to her and gently caresses her cheek before adora passes out and it’s evil but it’s also tender? but it’s also evil i know i know :( all of the princesses come to help adora so she sends a beam of magic gay light and heals everything and then all the princesses send a gay tsunami washing over catra. the horde loses, and catra retreats in a skiff, but adora and catra exchange one more Look as she leaves... hm. 9/10

#text #she ra #catradora #spop #this post... is so stupidly long #its essentially like a recap shitpost #but i give it a score out of 10 #i considered redoing the whole post but :(#it is what it is:(#hope y'all like this #please at least find this mildly entertaining #i hope to god the read more thing doesn't break #because...... this is long apologies in advance #hope its not too hard to read

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curlynerd · 4 years ago

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@spnwomenweek Day 7: Free Space because I'm bad at deadlines and missed AU day.

Harvelle’s Sweet Treats - Home of delicious cupcakes, cookies bigger than your head, and the prettiest baker Charlie has ever seen. Now if only she could ask her out without making a total fool of herself.

1.8K word count, copious amounts of Jo and Charlie fluff

Read on AO3

Five days. That was long enough, right? Five days between visits to a bakery was a totally normal, non-stalker-ish, “oh hey I just really like cupcakes, ya know?” amount of time to wait to go there again.

Right?

Yes. Definitely.

Hell, after five days, the cute girl behind the counter had probably long forgotten Charlie. It was a popular bakery, after all.

Yeah, she’d definitely forgotten Charlie by now.

Well...that was depressing.

Charlie huffed and readjusted her backpack on her shoulders. Whatever. She’d just make Bakery Girl remember her! They’d had a great conversation. A totally memorable chat.

About cupcakes.

In a store that sold cupcakes.

Okay, probably not so memorable.

She stifled a groan. Dammit Charlie! This wasn’t hard! She knew how to flirt! She flirted all the time!

...Not with girls this cute though. Not girls with beautiful blonde waves to make even Galadriel jealous. Not girls who smelled like cinnamon and vanilla and sugar.

Charlie shifted from one foot to another as she waited at the crosswalk. Her time to chicken out was rapidly dwindling. Harvelle’s Sweet Treats was just on the other side of the road. But, hey, nothing wrong with being a chicken. Six days between visits was better than five, right? Even less weird?

The crosswalk sign changed.

Charlie groaned out loud and earned herself a concerned look from a businessman walking alongside her. She forced a smile and started jogging the rest of the way to escape his judgement. Unfortunately that left her staring at the door to Harvelle’s much sooner than intended.

She took a deep breath. “You got this, Bradbury. Woman up! Just don’t think about how she smells like cupcakes and you’ll be fine.”

At that moment the blonde woman behind the counter noticed her lurking outside the door and grinned at her, gesturing for her to come inside.

Charlie’s eyes went wide as saucers. “I don’t got this,” she squeaked.

But it was too late now. Bakery Girl had spotted her. If she ran away now…

No, she couldn’t consider that.

Charlie squared her shoulders. She felt like Link staring down the entrance to Ganondorf’s castle, only without any of the sages to back her up. If only she had an ocarina on hand to teleport her out of here if things went awry... No. Focus! Charlie shook herself out of her thoughts and entered the store.

“Mornin’!” Bakery Girl’s smile was cheerful and casual. “You know what you want?” She leaned against the counter on her forearm, which caused her gorgeous hair to cascade over her shoulder and frame her face.

And just like that, Charlie’s carefully planned script flew straight out of her head. “Um.” She blinked. Once. Twice. Think, Bradbury! Think! Do not answer “you,” okay? That’s just weird. Think of literally any other answer!

Bakery Girl chuckled at Charlie’s dumbstruck stare. “We sell coffee, if you’re still waking up,” she said with a wink, which only drove Charlie even closer to a full-fledged hardware meltdown.

“Coffee! Mm-hmm!” Charlie squeaked with an over-enthusiastic nod. “Yes! I will take one coffee and one...er, cupcake,” she added, determined to get back on script before she blurted out something stupid and completely ruined any chance she might have with Bakery Girl.

“Coffee and cupcake. Interesting breakfast.” Bakery Girl raised an eyebrow as she tucked her hair behind her ear. God, why did she have to keep smiling like that? Charlie was going to have a heart attack!

Charlie nodded again before mentally smacking herself for looking too much like a bobblehead toy. “Well that’s me. Interesting.” Her eyes widened. “I mean, not interesting. Not, like, full of myself. A-And not weird interesting either!” she added hastily. “I mean, okay, yeah, I’m kinda weird. Pretty weird. Comes with the whole...nerd territory. But hey, ha ha, at least I shaved my neckbeard this morning, right?”

Bakery Girl listened to Charlie’s increasingly unhinged rambling with a bemused grin on her face. She shook her head. “Yeah, definitely weird,” she agreed with a laugh, but somehow it didn’t sound like an insult. She pushed off from the counter and rung up Charlie’s order.

Charlie forced herself to take a deep breath. Okay, so operation “Woo The Hot Bakery Girl” was definitely going off the rails, but it wasn’t unsalvageable! She just needed to regroup. Charlie smiled her brightest, sweetest “don’t think I’m a total loser, please” smile as she paid for her food. Bakery Girl grinned back, and any flirtatious comeback Charlie had was lost in thoughts of cinnamon-brown eyes and absolutely adorable apple-round cheeks.

“You got a name, Miss Interesting?”

Charlie blinked and shook off her daze. Bakery Girl was holding a pen up against a coffee cup. “Um.” Charlie looked around the otherwise empty store. “It’s not like you’re gonna mix up my order.”

Bakery Girl pursed her lips and fought down a new smile. “Humor me.” She honest to god winked, and Charlie honest to god let out a tiny, mortifying squeak.

“Charlie!” she blurted out, hot on that noise’s tail. Maybe she was fast enough to cover it. God, she hoped she was fast enough to cover it. “Bradbury. Charlie Bradbury. Though why would I tell you my last name? You don’t need my last name. That’s ridiculous. I’m being ridiculous.” To Charlie’s horror, she couldn’t bring herself to shut up no matter how hard she tried. “You obviously don’t need to know my last name, but um, yep. There it is. Bradbury. Like Ray Bradbury? That. And--”

“You know what flavor cupcake you want?” Bakery Girl cut in, and Charlie was so grateful she almost hopped the counter and kissed her then and there.

“Um…” Once again, Charlie’s carefully planned out script was trapped behind the mesmerizing distraction of Bakery Girl’s smile. No, wait! She remembered! “What do you recommend?” She batted her eyelashes a little and shrugged one shoulder. Yes, this was perfect. Whatever was offered would oh so conveniently be one of Charlie’s favorite flavors. Of course, all cupcake flavors were her favorite, because they were cupcakes. Not a lie. Just an exaggeration.

Bakery Girl glanced down at her display case. “Red velvet,” she said with the hint of a smirk. Her eyes seemed to linger on Charlie’s hair, but surely Charlie was imagining that. Definitely imagining that.

Charlie bit her lip. “Sure! Let’s go with that,” she said in a rush, while internally she screamed about her carefully planned cupcake flavor ruse. Bakery Girl nodded and set about getting Charlie’s order ready. Charlie breathed in deeply, disappointment building with each passing second. This was a bust. This was clearly not going anywhere. Charlie was way too flustered to pull out her usual stops. So far all she’d managed to do is look and act like a socially awkward nerd. Which...well...Pot. Kettle. Black.

Maybe if she came back in another five days, things would go better that time. Or six days. Or sixty.

As Charlie put her wallet away, her eyes landed on the pen cup. There was a cute one with an oversized cartoon cupcake on the end, large enough that it partly obscured the little rainbow flag stuck in there too.

Deep down, Charlie knew that could mean anything. Maybe the owner was gay. Or one of the other employees. Maybe the store did a lot of gay wedding cakes. Hell, it was San Francisco. Pride flags were just good business sense. Charlie had to admit her gaydar could get a little frazzled when confronted by stunningly attractive women. Or maybe she was just exceptionally optimistic.

She decided to pounce on the opportunity anyway. This was her last shot.

She pointed to the little flag and flashed a grin that she prayed wasn’t too awkward. “Hey cool. Samesies.” Dear goddess Selûne, did she really just say samesies? She tried not to cringe.

Bakery Girl laughed. “Yeah, I’m aware,” she said as she brushed her hair behind her ear. And okay, Charlie had to give her that. She gave off that vibe. Also there was a lesbian pride pin on her backpack.

Thinking about it, that might have been the biggest giveaway.

“So…” Charlie began. This was her opening. She knew this was her opening. And if this were anyone less cool, or less hot, or less…all of everything that Bakery Girl had going on, Charlie would be on top of things. She’d have gotten her number and made date plans before she even placed her order.

Instead she rocked back and forth on her heels like a helpless dweeb. Like some sort of awkward middle schooler trying to ask a date to homecoming.

“So…” Bakery Girl agreed, her voice barely containing her laughter. The silence dragged on until it became agony. Charlie thought for certain the pressure to ask her out inflating her chest would burst before she worked up the nerve. But right when Charlie opened her mouth to either speak or let out a pathetic squeak of compressed air, Bakery Girl leaned forward on the counter and raised an eyebrow at Charlie. “So are you gonna ask my name before or after I get your phone number?”

Charlie jerked her head up in surprise. “Phone number?” she squeaked. Her eyes widened. Bakery Girl was asking for her phone number?! SUCCESS! “Um, yeah! Yeah, I…” Charlie grinned from ear to ear. “Name? Your name? Er…” She cleared her throat. “What’s your name anyway? So I can stop calling you Bakery Girl in my head?”

Bakery Girl smirked. “Bakery Girl, huh?” She grabbed the cupcake pen from the cup and held out her hand. Her eyes darted to Charlie’s arm and back to her face as she wiggled her fingers. Charlie hastily held out her hand. “It’s Jo, by the way.” Charlie’s skin tingled where Bakery Girl--Jo! touched her wrist. Jo scrawled out her number on the inside of her arm.

“You know, I coulda just punched it into my phone,” Charlie said, already wondering how weird it would be if she didn’t wash her hand for awhile.

“Yeah, but I like to be old school.” Jo winked at her. Her fingers slid down Charlie’s hand as she released it, and Charlie’s heart skipped a beat.

“Old school, huh?” Charlie grinned. “So like...dinner and a movie, pick me up at eight old school?”

Jo paused a moment to size her up. She bit her lower lip. “Pool,” she said with a cocky smile. “There’s this bar I like where we can play pool.”

Charlie’s shoulders dipped a little. “I don’t know how to play pool.” Could a date fail before it even started? Charlie was beginning to suspect Jo was way cooler than she could ever hope to be.

Jo just shook her head, a knowing twinkle in her pretty brown eyes. “Oh, I figured. I plan to teach you.”

Charlie’s heart leapt into her throat. “Can’t wait.”

#spnwomenweek #jo/charlie #charlie/jo #charlie bradbury #jo harvelle #katie writes things #my fanfic #look I know Charlie's got game in canon but it's *MY* fanfic I do what I want and I wanted her to be an awkward nerd around Jo #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction

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loverlele · 5 years ago

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Oblivious

Spencer Reid x Bi!Female Reader

Warnings: bad language, a bit of sex talk

A/N: Happy pride month! I know there’s lots of evil things going on in the world at the moment so I wanted to bring a bit of happiness back, even if it is just for a few minutes. I have a Bi!Spencer Reid x Male Reader one shot (possibly a mini series) coming soon, as well as a Lesbian!Emily Prentiss one shot in the works. Let me know if you want a part 2, possibly a smutty chapter? Who knows ;) anyways enough of my rambling, enjoy :)

Word count: 2023

“Hey good job today angel face” Morgan says from opposite me as I pack up my bags to head home. “Everyone’s going for drinks in a bit, fancy coming?”

“Since when have I ever said no to drinks with my favourite man?” I sarcastically shoot back.

“Well considering Reid hasn't asked you out for drinks, I can't comment on that one sunshine.” I pick up a piece of paper from my desk and throw it at him. Unfortunately I have a shit sense of aim, so it ended up going way to the right of Derek and hitting Emily square in the forehead.

“Oops, sorry Em!” I say, skipping over to my best friend and kissing the spot it collided with her face at. Unable to contain her laughter anymore, she erratically waved her hands in front of her face to get to back off. I do, not before messing her hair up with my fingers.

“Uhhhh, what have I walked into?” comes a voice from my left. I spin round and see Spencer stood next to my desk with a puzzled expression on my face. I sheepishly smile at him, looking at Derek for help.

“Y/N once again tried to hit me with a flying object, but her awful aim stopped that from happening and it hit Em instead” Derek laughed out. With a fake anger look on my face I kept on Derek and held him in a fake chokehold. I didn't think twice at how immature it might make me seem, but once I heard Spencer’s adorable laugh I knew I didn't need to second guess myself.

“Hey you adorable human being, get your own man” Garcia says as she walks up to the mess that has unravelled. I rub Derek’s head firmly before sliding off his shoulders, placing my feet firmly on the ground. Well, so I thought. As it seemed though, the earth hated me. As my feet made contact with the ground, my knees buckled and I fell backwards. A firm, but soft pair of hands caught me and helped me steady myself. I didn't need to turn around to look at who had caught me, I could recognise those hands from a mile away.

“Thanks you” I muttered slowly pulling myself off him.

“No problem.”

Feeling the tensions rise in the air I turn my attention back to Garcia, who is now perching on Emily’s desk with a smirk on her face. That little shit, I mutter to myself. Thankfully, my comment wasn't heard by anyone. “For your information Pen, I don't need no man thank you. I am perfectly capable of making my own bad decisions without a helping hand.”

“Amen to that girl!” Emily calls out.

“What about a woman?” Derek asks as we collectively make our way to the lifts. We all manage to fit into one life and I press the button before leaning around Spencer to whack his arm.

“Bite me Derek Morgan.”

“I’m sure Emily would happily do that” he retorts, smirking. This time it was Emily’s turn to whack Derek’s arm. The sounds of bickering between Emily and Derek fill the elevator.

As we get get down to the car park the bickering stops and a wave of realisation hits me like a gust of wind. “Fuck” I mutter, pulling out my phone to see who could come get me.

“Hey, you okay?” a quiet voices comes from besides me.

“Jesus Christ Spence, you scared me!”

“Sorry I didn't mean to. Seriously, are you okay? I don't see your car” he says, quickly scanning the car park for signs of my car.

“My car’s in the garage getting its suspension fixed. I forgot to ask my roommate to pick me up from work tonight and now its 10pm and she's probably already out. Oh my god, how am I going to get home-”

“Hey it’s okay, we’ll go to yours to grab what you need before heading to the bar to meet the others. Come on, hop in” he says, opening the passenger side door before scooting round to the drivers side and getting in. It didn't take long for me to make up my mind, I mean it was either go with him or try to find my own way home AND then my way to the bar we were all set to meet at 11. I got in, shooting him a smile and we head off.

- AT THE BAR -

“Hey! Finally you showed up, we were beginning to think you weren't coming” JJ says and we approach the booth.

“Don’t be silly, we don't do this very often anymore. I wouldn't miss it for the world” I say scooting into the booth, situating myself between Emily and Spencer. Oh great, this won't be awkward at all, I say to myself. Almost as if he'd read my mind (or, most likely, the awkwardness I was displaying) Spencer’s leg shifted slightly and met mine. I looked up at him slightly, yet his focus was on Morgan and debating on what alcohol would get them drunk the fastest.

After a few drinks everyone seems to have loosened up a bit. I mean, even Spencer was on his third drink of the night. The norm for this team is as the number of drinks consumed got higher, the more secrets (or “tea” as Penelope would sometimes put it) were revealed. And tonight proved no different that normal.

“Let’s do truth or drink guys!” Penelope half shouted. The bar we were at is one of our favourite ones to go to together and tonight was pretty loud in here. Meaning as the surroundings got louder, the louder we all became. Even though every single one of us groaned at the idea, we all knew better than to disagree with a tipsy Penelope. It started off relatively innocent and calm, until it got to Derek’s turn Derek, having been waiting for 10 minutes already, knew exactly what and who he wanted to ask. It was no surprise to me when he pointed at me.

“Little miss sunshine, ready for your question?”

“I was born ready baby, give it to me.”

“Do you have a preference of who you date?And if so, what is it.”

That fucker. Not a drinking session goes by that I don't get asked about my sexuality I mean don't get me wrong, I love educating people and I love the sight on Derek’s face when I end up getting the number of a girl he’s expressed interest in. Taking a swig of my drink, I ponder on the question for a few moments before replying,

“I have a ‘type’ of women that I find myself automatically gravitating myself towards. I mean I guess I have a type of guy I like too. I don't know, I just go with what my heart says most of the time.”

“You still need to describe it sunshine” he says, smirking into his drink. It’s not as if we haven't had this discussion before, and by ‘we’ I mean Derek and myself. He knew what it was, he just wanted to see me suffer.

“I hate you” I groan, shuffling around to get comfortable before I answer Derek’s question. I take a big swig of my drink as I go to reply “red headed girls with a quick temper.”

“And the guys?” Spencer says, breaking his silence and looking at me.

“Brown mess hair, bit of a dork, goofy, tall, thinks Halloween is the best holiday of the year” I say, drawing my lips into a small smirk and taking another sip of my drink. Spencer doesn't even blink twice at my reply. Idiot.

Everyone’s questions seemed a lot tamer than mind. For example, JJ would be asked “what's the most romantic thing Will’s ever done for you?” and Derek’s would be “so you wish you had more freedom with your work hours?”. But mine, “craziest place you've had sex?” or “one person you'd happily let jump your bones right now?” (10 points if you guess who asked that one). After a few rounds I squeezed through the crowd and up to the bar for refills, and shots. I was under strict instructions to get at least 20 shots, no less.

“Hey can I have the same again, but with 20 shots as well?” shooting the bar tender a smile and giving the name of the open tab.

“Sure things hun, what shots do you want?” she asks.

“Surprise me,” I say, not really knowing what to order. I feel a tap on my shoulder, alerting me that someone was behind me. I spin around to see the most gorgeous red head stood in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye, the laughing was easing at the table and I could see the glances they were all giving in my direction. Great, an audience is just what I need.

“Hey, so I hope I’m not over stepping by saying I think you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen here.”

“Hi, that’s so sweet of you! You are absolutely stunning yourself” I say, feeling 5 sets of eyes on me.

“Um would it be possible for me to get your number?” she asks, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. It’s not that I don't find you ridiculously attractive, I um” I trail off slightly, glancing back and locking eyes with the messy haired brunette at my table. He flashes me a small, yet sad smile before turning his attention to JJ. “It wouldn't be fair to either of us if I did that because my hearts already with someone else.”

“It’s cool, I get it. Whoever they are is a lucky person” she says, smiling sweetly before turning and walking away. I turn back to the bar and grab the tray of drinks, slowly making my way back to the table. This time, when I reach the table, its quiet and all eyes are on me.

“What?” I ask, as I hand out the drinks and put the shots in a circe in the middle of the table. I scoot back into the booth, regaining my seat in between Spencer and Emily.

“Why did you turn her down?” Derek asks in disbelief, “in the 5 years I've known you I have never seen you turn down someone that quickly. Especially not a smoking hot red head like that!”

“You say that as if it's a crime Derek. I wasn't interested, I said no and we parted ways. End of conversation.”

“But why?” Spencer asks, “she’s exactly your type.”

“Yeah and so are you yet you're still an oblivious fuck” I mutter. Something in the air changed the second those words fell out of my mouth. I couldn't quite figure out if it was a good change or not.

“What was that Y/N?” Derek asks, smirking.

“What I said was not meant for your ears so shut it” I ramble looking over at Spencer, who’s still staring at me and seemingly in a world of his own. I try to study his face, looking for some kind of answer or reply to what I’d just said.

Sensing the obvious tension in the air Penelope did the best thing she could think of doing, shouting out the words “SHOT TIME EVERYONE!”. That seemed to do the trick as it knocked Spencer out of whatever alternate timeline he was in. He grabs 2 shots, placing one in front of you and keeping the other in his hand.

“To friendship” JJ said, raising her shot glass to the roof.

“To friendship!” the others yelled, clinking glasses and putting back the shots.

Spencer’s hand found its way to your thigh under the table, squeezing it tightly as he muttered, “to friendship.” downing the shot. His eyes locked on mine.

“To friendship” I say, pulling my lips to the glass with a smirk and downing it. Hmm, maybe he's completely oblivious after all, I say to myself before locking hands with Spencer under the table.

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