expectingtofly

[expectingtofly]

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oh did we deserve dean explaining bisexuality to mary….

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🌊😇🤠🐶🚗🍔🏠

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Not enough people talk about the fact that, when Dean disappears for weeks (becoming a demon), Sam finds an excuse to actually kick Cas out of the bunker.

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night of november 5th i could have lifted a car if i needed to

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the best part of experiencing november 5th 2020 was watching tumblr attempt to describe what it was like to experience november 5th 2020

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15x02 "Raising Hell" / 'Agent of Chaos', Dean Ellis (1978)

[part 31/?]

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going up and down the dash high fiving everyone Good destiel. Good nov 5th. Good destiel. see you next year. good posting.

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dan hillier, a new world

ben edlund, on the head of a pin

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they risked covid filming that

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got a calendar notification reminding me to stop doom scrolling and clock into my celebrate destiel shift on tumblr 🫡

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love how cas getting a houseplant would be a life altering moment (dean: how are u gonna keep that thing alive if you keep on comin n goin? cas: *squints* then i’ll stay)

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I am working on a little something, so here is a mall part of it! Castiel :3

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Forgive me if this doesn't make sense but

Dean understands himself. He is not drowning in internalized homophobia. He doesn't not know that he's into men. What Dean is, however, is a liar. He lies to everyone, all the time. I think this touches on the queer experience in a way we dont always see in media. We always talk about coming out and coming out scenes but why never talk about why we come out. It's because of how difficult the lying is. But deans lied about everything, all his life. Not just about his sexuality, or things related to hunting. But he lies (directly or by ommission) about the music he likes, the clothes he likes, literally everything, just to fit into this box of what everyone expects him to be. He understands himself, you just don't have the critical thinking skills to see past his lies, you take his word at face value even though the show has told you repeatedly that dean is a liar

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omg im so glad people are still enjoying this fic!! it’s my favorite destiel one i’ve written (and it’s pretty good if i do say so myself 🤭)

Wicked Game

Wicked Game by expectingtofly ( @expectingtofly) Rating: Explicit Word Count: 104k

The year is 1889 and for the past year and a half, Dean has traveled alone from town to town, drinking to ignore his guilt and gambling to make a living. Today, he’s especially down on his luck. He’s broke, was just thrown out of a saloon for cheating at poker, and has now been woken by a blue-eyed man trying to rob him. When he learns that the thief, Castiel, is just as broke as he is, they strike a tenuous deal to help each other rob a stagecoach, share the spoils, and split up. Turns out splitting up is the most difficult task. While Castiel is cold and cruel, Dean refuses to back down from a fight. The two are at odds more often than not, but their relationship only grows more complicated the longer they travel together. They may have more in common than they thought.

There's nothing this fandom loves more than a western, unless of course, that's getting to see Dean and Cas both overcoming their initial distrust and even dislike of each other to form a more profound bond. And if they get to cheat at some cards, rob a few stagecoaches, and end up having some damn good sex along the way... Well, so much the better!

Dean starts the story out as a down-on-his-luck gambler who spends most of his time getting drunk and being thrown out of saloons. Cas is the thief trying to rob him. Upon finding Dean slim pickings, Cas has another proposition: they team up together and rob a coach. When that job is successful, it leads to another, and then another--and then both Dean and Cas' past comes back to haunt the both of them.

Throughout the story, Cas is struggling with his past losses, and Dean is struggling with the guilt from his past mistakes. They both confront their demons however, and along the way, they create a partnership so strong that not even the threat of hanging can break it. Though neither Dean nor Cas is an angel (pun unavoidable) in this story, you'll find it impossible not to root for them to find their happy ending! 🤠

[expectingtofly]

promptober day 7: betray

Every day has been the same. 

Dean wakes up alone in the old, rickety house. He’s always up with the sun; he never sets an alarm. The secondhand quilt on his bed always ends up on the floor, because he never sleeps well. There’s nightmares and restlessness and the witching hour. 

Downstairs, he makes coffee and takes it out onto the porch if it’s not too cold. He reads a book, always from the library. His library card has his actual name on it, which is always weird for him. Luckily, no one in small-town Kansas asks too many questions. 

He doesn’t need a job–he had more than enough to get by after trading in his bit of the bunker. Even so, he works part time at the local auto body shop to give him something to do with his mind and keep him from being alone all the time. Sam and Eileen come and visit, but they’ve got their own life. The guys at the shop call him “Dean Winner,” and he never corrects them, because it’s nice to have a nickname and be a part of something. He never really got to be normal.

Dean doesn’t feel like a winner, though. He’s forty-five, battered and bruised, living alone in a house that was cheap because it needed–and still needs–so many repairs. Sometimes he wonders why he’s still alive, why the Empty didn’t take him too, why only knowing about how Cas felt at the very end seems like such a betrayal from fate itself.

They could have had so much more time. 

On the fridge, under a magnet for the tiny supermarket in the next town over, is a photo of them from Dodge City, in their cowboy hats. Dean always wishes he had more–time, photos, memories, mementos. He can’t watch Looney Tunes, dodges every car that even vaguely resembles a Lincoln Continental or a maroon truck. There’s a hole that he can’t fill.

But he keeps trying, doesn’t he? He makes eggs and bacon for breakfast, has a friend or two, frequents the public library. He visits the hardware store three or four or five times a week, keeps his house up. Drives around listening to the songs he remembers putting on Cas’s mixtape in the Impala (when he can bear it–Cas must have had the tape in his pocket when he…because Dean couldn’t find it anywhere). Goes to bed not long after sundown. Avoids bourbon but has a beer or two. 

Dean keeps trying. At the very least, he can do that for Cas’s memory.