#IM SORRY NORMAL I LOVE YOU AND IM SO SAD FOR YOU BUT THEN THEY MENTIONED JERRY

[crimeronan]

im a teenager with seasonal depression and a shitty fatigue causing disability and adhd currently still in highschool and: the way you talk abt minors right to autonomy, and How School Sucks, and everything related to that is. The Most Soothing Shit i hear all day. like. reading some of your posts abt how Good graduating early and being a Problem Child was for you was So Damn Calming.

most ppl immediately go to sooth me with the "but you Are smart, and you just need to try harder!! your life isnt entirely ruined today :) just go to school tomorrow and be Good and Learn and you'll be fineee. you aren't one of the bad ones, Dont Worry :))" and that makes me. invent new types of panic attacks and neuroses on the spot.

but having an Actual Adult whos like "no. school can infact be the fucking Torture pit for some people and it is So Utterly Fucked Up how Anyone can make you do Anything, actually. you arent a bad or damaged person this is Normal and your value isnt dependant on Schooliness. do whatever makes you least likely to kill yourself. you dont owe them shit, especially not being Good. be a problem, take up space."

is. genuinely the nicest thing Ever. to me. like. Makes me Kinda Want To Cry nicest thing ever. anyway yea. thanks for that.

ahh, this is lovely to hear. but i'm so sorry you're going through this.

i remember being in high school in 2011 when the gay teen suicides were national headlines, and everyone had Opinions on it, and the "it gets better" trend was everywhere, and -- while those videos did do a lot of good!! -- they just kind of made me more furious?? because i was so mad at all these adults basically saying, "yeah, high school is an institutional pit of death and horror, but eventually you'll be 18!!" i was like hey. Help Us Now.

it was actually the song "make it stop" by rise against that gave me any peace or sense of belonging, because. here was a band i loved full of straight dudes (as far as i know, anyway) who were just fucking MAD. they were righteously angry!! they gave a fuck what was happening!! and lyrics like "the gatherings hold candles but not their tongues" rang SO true to me, as someone who was dealing with endless "oh, so sad he died, but there was something wrong with his brain" discourse.

the memory of that has made it REALLY easy to hold onto my anger in adulthood. because sometimes kids don't need "it'll be fine, just hang on :)" they need "you're gonna be okay, but FUCK ALL THIS."

it's truly fucking Unconscionable to do what we do even to neurotypical, able-bodied teens with good home lives. i want to say i can't imagine being a teen with chronic fatigue and ADHD going to classes eight hours a day.... but i can!! i did that!! and almost died!!

i honestly think the lack of autonomy in the US school system is traumatic For Everybody. different levels of trauma, for sure! but i think that's part of why adults seem so disconnected from our teen years and can't remember the realities of being an adolescent. we overwrite the horrors.

the good news is: it Does get better after school. astonishingly so.

in the meantime: you don't owe anyone Anything. literally your only job right now is to survive. do whatever you need to do to not kill yourself or end up in jail. don't worry about anything else. i promise it Does Not Matter As Much As People Say It Does.

[ithinkdogshouldvote2]

*visibly vibrating with excitement* Damn, sucks about Normal.... I hope he gets better soon fr ✌️

[persephoneflouwers]

It’s been a month.

It shouldn’t have happened. Why did this happen? It shouldn’t have.

It’s been a month.

Can we turn back time? Stop this, prevent this? Can we change everything?

It’s been a month.

This makes no sense. It will always punch in the centre of the chest and take the breath away. It will never make sense. It will always hurt the same. What will happen is that the time of realisation will shorten, but it still hits you all of a sudden.

It’s been a month.

Life goes on and on, like it used to, like it must.

But it’s been a month and time is frozen and I miss the feeling, I miss the comfort of a ‘see you later’ over a goodbye.

[musashi]

.

[apologetic-artist]

The worse other people around me feel, the worse I feel. Like, I'm not blaming anyone, I'm kinda blaming myself. I want to help everyone, but I can't because I'm nervous to talk to people. Every time I see a post of someone I do or don't know talking about how bad they feel, it makes me want to help, but I don't know how. I just feel so bad :[

[smackins]

Not to be THAT guy, but I really need to bare my soul here.

I don't know if I want to do Artfight anymore.

While I'm extremely grateful for the attacks I did receive this year (I still owe 2 revenge pieces, don't worry, I'm working on them ❤️) it's become less fun and more of a reminder of how isolated I feel as an artist. I got a total of five attacks this year. I have friends who were attacked right out of the gate, on the very first day, by a barrage folks who were chomping at the bit to draw their ocs.

It's not Artfight's fault, and not really other people's fault, either. I'm not like, "How dare you not attack me!!111!!" It's just it amplifies so many insecurities I've had for years and makes it hard to ignore them.

I get an overwhelming feeling like there's something wrong with me as an artist, not even that I'm medicocre skill wise (though I feel that, too), but that I'm just fundamentally uninteresting and forgettable. My characters and my stories aren't worth asking about. They aren't worth anyone's enthusiasm or curiosity, they're not worth the encouragement. I can share a piece that I spent 6 hours on and just get "cute" as a response, while others could share a non-serious doodle of their ocs that took 5 minutes tops and get responses like "AHHH I LOVE THEM THEYRE SO AMAZING YOURE SO FUNNY."

And I know it's not good to compare yourself to others, but sometimes it's hard not to when everywhere I go, it feels so blatantly obvious how I'm barely worth anyone's time.

At first I thought it was the fact I draw non-human characters, because those are hard for people, so I made a little note on Artfight that I'll accept humanized versions. But plenty of people draw nonhuman characters, all the time, and recieve lots of encouragement and feedback from other people. Then I thought, "maybe it's my original comic characters that intimidate people" you know, my weird scorpion aliens. But that's not it either, because they're admittedly a lot less "alien" than they could be, and I know people with some absolutely WILD speculative-biology-type character designs who, again, get loads of enthusiasm and feedback. Plus, that doesn't explain why my fan ocs go ignored- plenty of people like Digimon, Mass Effect, and DBZ.

I feel like I'm just weird and tainted and cursed somehow, which I KNOW is absurd, but that's the best way I can describe this frustration. And yeah, I know if I posted more art and more about my characters, I MIGHT get a little more traction, but when I get so little encouragement from so few people, it's so hard to feel motivated to share. And it's not like I'm looking for huge, detailed responses or specifics about why people like my technique or whatever, because God knows I struggle to form specific words as to why EXACTLY I like something, but I just want to feel like people give a damn and ACTUALLY want to know more. Very few people ask questions or get curious. I have a lore blog for my original comic that has been up for 7 whole years, yet the only questions or comments I get are from the same 2 or 3 (very lovely and appreciated) people. Most of those posts have zero notes, a ton of them have been reblogged to my personal blog over, and over, and over again and still get ignored.

This isn't about popularity, or notes, or anything like that. I just want to feel like what I put into the world matters. Yes, I do get satisfaction from drawing for myself, but that can only go so far when I feel like I'm the little kid in the corner playing alone because the other kids don't notice me.

[savage-rhi]

Magenta 😟

[stinkypeanutbutter]

honestly I have nothing much to say about the canvas ( because I skimmed through it out of lack of interest even tho I was fixated on sbg for idk how long before you all saw DONT even lie ) but I lowkey love Ashlyn’s little dancer costume it’s very silly !!! Also kinda hoping their silly little homeless children costumes ( hopefully that’s not offensive ) come into play at one point . Like . . a school play . I’m screwing around with ideas here .

[srldesigns6277]

.

[cherrylight]

dreamily sighs and screams

[un-pearable]

played superstars through the credits with two of my brothers and just. holy shit this game was absolutely not designed for multiplayer. despite the gratuitous marketing focusing on the multiplayer aspect it was CONSISTENTLY lagging to an insane degree and it only got worse when we went from 2 players to 3. i had a great time despite it and i think the game had a lot of potential but by the time we got to the egg fortress fight, well:

kept popping between zoomed out (multiplayer view) and zoomed in (single player view), killing whichever of the characters the camera wasn’t locked on every time it happened

jarringly swapping which character the camera was centered on, snapping into their view and causing more deaths

the ground disappearing and occasionally causing people to clip into it and die every few seconds

the uh. the spinning. happened about half the time the robot swapped between phases

ALL of these problems happened about twice as often when all three players were active, so in order to beat it two of us had to intentionally die for the fight to even be playable

i have ten more videos just like this. we spent nearly an hour here. it happened so often i gave up documenting it. it wasn’t the first major issue (the entire game crashed after beating a level, twice. at one point when we left the shop we were accidentally teleported to the overworld area for egg fortress with no floor loaded and accidentally walked off, then fell eternally) but it’s the one that really broke our spirits. how do you ship this game that you marketed as multiplayer when it’s nigh unbeatable when you actually play multiplayer

[gemharvest]

Need to get on top of whatever dumb fucking inferiority complex I got going on I'm tired of looking at everything about myself and going "Wow I am really sub-par." I know it's 2am but this isn't the midnight thoughts talking this is a fucking persistent curse throughout my day.

[obnoxiousarcade]

im thinking again

[orcelito]

Yet again feeling guilty for not having written in weeks, but my brain is filled primarily with thoughts of "I can't wait to explore more in BG3" and "wow I miss my girlfriend I want to see her"[saw her literally 3 times last week & spent all Friday evening and Saturday morning with her] "wow if only I could see my girlfriend :("

[cocolacola]

sylv art?? in this economy???

[winter-jay-official]

IM SO NORMAL ABOUT MY FRIENDS BEING NICE TO ME AND JUST GENERALLY WANTING TO BE AROUND ME THIS IS FINE