#IM SORRY I THINK ITS SO FUNNY. IM SO USED TO LIKE
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Im so sorry I've been looking at this photo and like....
(has no resemblance and just wanted to make this post)
Now its got me thinking of an au where Viktor and you have a child (smex, adopted, idrk) before he starts his mission for the 'Glorious revolution' (let's pretend this is a shits and giggles au and not seriously like the show so it's funny)
Like deadbat dad Viktor is hilarious im sorry 😭
Your child:"You ruined my life!"
Viktor:"how can I ruin your life? I was not even there!"
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You panting after beating the shit out of Viktor and he's staring at you in awe
Viktor: my god lyubov', what happened to us?
/////
Figured out a way to infiltrate Piltover
Vik:"Viktor Daddy likey 😈"
___
IM WHEEZING he'd never say this I just thought I'd help you guys forget about season 2 ending 🥲
#arcane league of legends#arcane season two#arcane viktor#machine herald#arcane season two act 2#arcane season two act 1#arcane season two act 3#lord garmadon#viktor x reader#viktor x you#viktor x y/n#arcane memes#arcane#arcane season 2
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Okay so there’s this ww artist on ig called like tooth lilys or something and he’s always causing drama in the ww fandom and he mouthed off about your art and now heaps of insta ww fans are like talking about you :| free publicity?
ahhhh so thats whats happening .. lmao thats crazy
i checked out their story, and i sure doooo love how they leave some things out when talking about both situations that they mentioned to make me look worse ..
ok so
warning, yap session incoming
the "will wood in a (miku) binder" thing happened back in fall 2023 when i was still semi new to the fandom and didnt know a lot of things. so tho i to this day i dont think it was that big of a deal, i wouldnt do it today
it was an artwork made for shits and giggles, the context of which i have explained here before. i never meant to imply that will wood is trans and i certainly dont "headcanon" him as that. my curse is that even when joking around i tend to try and make my art look good, so i get why people thought it was unironic. and i know that it sounds like a lame ass excuse, but it legit didnt cross my mind that people would think i drew will wood as a trans guy or smth. legit my only thought process was "funny haha internet thing" + "my favorite thing" = "good idea"
now the usage of his real name is something i am genuinely sorry for, but it was an accident and a genuine mistake on my part. i remember seeing someone mention it casually in some comment section, and assuming that it was ok, since i didnt know he was in any way against it. (i also thought that it was the same name that he used in "the real will wood" in that one section cus it sounded a bit similar).
when i was informed about the fact that he doesnt want it spread around i deleted the post right away and apologized, so bringing it up like something i did on purpose and out of malicious intent is a tad bit .. misfitting, if you can use that word
now the hot topic of the day: my waywood art
i have said this before and i will say this again, how i feel about rpf is solely based off how the people involved feel about it
to clarify: i never drew anything inappropriate or even suggestive with them, the "worst" thing is 2 simple sketches of them smoochin. or. this.
idk if this is what they were referring to when talking about me drawing will wood and gerard way "making out" (specifically. because i think "making out" implies to be more sexual stuff than small kisses). and if so, then it once again feels like blowing things out of proportion
and now the point i want you to get: will wood wouldnt give a flying fuck
like i said earlier, i never drew anything inappropriate, because that would actually cross will's existent and real boundaries. you know, the ones that he stated
im not making some conspiracy theories about him being gay, like some people seem to imply in their inbox messages to me
im not sending a whole ass smut fanfiction to litwtc gmail or something, i dont bother him in instagram dms asking if he wants to fuck gerard way, im not shipping him with people who he actually knows personally and has to look in the eyes of from time to time
im not doing anything that he would actually care about
him and chris have joked about him being attracted to gerard before, and though im not saying that you can joke about everything theyve ever joked about, i feel like in our case its clear that will clearly doesnt care about the implications ? (i generally believe that ww fans would get their panties twisted about less things if more of them listened to what these 2 talk about so calmly on litwtc but i digress)
if he saw that some random teenager on tumblr is drawing him and gerard way (gasp of horror) holding hands, he'd laugh at it max and then move on with his day
people are treating the whole situation like i posted pictures of him from when he was a kid or leaked patreon content or drew him fully naked or anything else that, you know, would actually affect him in one way or another
what im doing is innocent fun which isnt even likely to reach either of them. will wood very rarely checks tumblr and, once again, i genuinely dont believe he would care. and gerard way aint got no internet + he doesnt care x 2
it is weird but rn this is what brings me the most joy, even if its silly to say. both will wood and gerard way mean a lot to me and putting them in situations together makes me happy. i am but a child full of fun whimsy
i wont be posting any more explicitly romantic art to avoid more drama, and i also wont be responding to all the anon messages i received because there are like .. too many of them. an overwhelming amount i'd say. sorry about that
i really didnt mean to cause such a fuss, and i understand why some people might be uncomfortable with what i do
i fully understand why you would dislike my waywood hyperfixation shenanigans, and i dont have a problem w you over that, but treating me like pure evil because of a thing so insignificant is just.. overdoing it
once again, i will be toning it down, but it really isnt the end of the world if i dare to draw will wood and gerard way being a tad bit gay (which is, i apparently need to mention, not me actually saying that will wood the alternative musician is a homosexual gay who is in a genuine for real actual real gay homosexual relationship with gerard fucking way the lead singer of my chemical romance. i think speculating on other people's sexuality and gender identity is boooo tomato tomato tomato)
sorry for the rant and sorry to all who were disappointed by my lack of remorse. come back in a couple years when i turn 18 and stop having fun and artistic freedom
thank you for your attention and i hope i at least cleared some things up to those who werent w me throughout every event where i get involved in fandom drama
bye bye
#asmo goes blahblahblah#my chemical overreaction#idk should i tag this with the will wood tag#on one hand i probably should so more people understand my perspective but i also dont want this to be a better drama than it already is#bleh whatever#fun fact the will wood in a miku binder situation caused me to be anxious about every artwork i post#cus im afraid i didnt consider that people would see the obvious implications that arent actually there#im gonna close my inbox cus#once again#stressful#but yeah. i guess thats it
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some thoughts i have about the boss themes in nine sols, not including eigong since i haven't beaten her yet. i dont know jack shit about instruments so im sorry if i got any of them wrong but im not a musician i just listen to a lot of music.
lots of little chiming sounds in the melody of goumang's theme (like bells, although maybe i'm reaching), and ominous and discordant sounds making up the background; obviously symbolizing her control over the shi brothers and her use of necromancy as a highly unnatural force. the key sounds minor, which ties into that as well. it's a very fast, intense, and ominous song. also it has no vocals! just various electronic-esque beats and melodies! and it's over quite quickly it's one of the shortest boss themes. despite goumang's presentation of survival of the fittest ideals, when it comes down to it, she's not the fittest and ends up coming across as kind of defanged if that makes sense.
the start of yanlao's theme sounds like a machine booting up. then there's the deep chanting/throat singing? which i think could represent the repository and the artefacts and all the stuff he's been pressured by others to store there if that makes sense. then there's a more traditionally vocalized interlude, which could represent yanlao himself amid the chanting voices of the repository. the theme is highly electronic in nature and, and this is just because i have some form of synesthesia, but it sounds the way the visuals of the boss fight look, all hot pinks and bright greens and blues.
the start of jiequan's theme sounds very very much like the start of another song on the soundtrack but i can't remember which one it is-- maybe one that plays in the apeman facility??? idk. but then that's interrupted by the very intense and in-your-face music, with the actual taipei men's choir doing the chanting (which is very funny to me idk why). i think that's the jie clan and its legacy that jiequan is carrying on and attempting to revive. elements of rock/electric guitar in here, forming a melody thread that kind of overlaps with the choir-- that could be jiequan himself. it kind of gives the vibe of like modernizing something ancient (the rock music mixed with the chanting? am i reaching here?? idk)
lady e's theme has a gentle piano as the "core" melody. the main singer sounds almost like she's screaming in places, but not quite-- lady e trying to hide her anguish and torment from everyone for the longest time. god shes so me. im not sure if my spotify player is just bad but it almost sounds like it glitches out at certain points too? and then there's the screaming in the background before the chorus, representing her coworkers of course. also, the sort of techno beat layered over the piano is really cool; it's like the piano is the peaceful serene part of the soulscape, and the techno part is the technological nature of it, an artificial perfect world. i love this theme so fucking much.
fuxi and nuwa's theme has only two voices the whole time, presumably "their" voices based on the other opera that we see nuwa singing (the female voice in their theme is the same as that one afaik); and how nuwa tuned out all the problems facing the empyrean district and new kunlun at large in order to indulge in her hobbies and hang out with fuxi, and how the two of them had the luxury of being able to do that, is clearly reflected in this, with their theme incorporating no other voices unlike many of the others. initially, fuxi's voice carries most of the song, with nuwa's doing backup vocals, like the first phase of the fight; but the song has almost a second phase as well, where nuwa's voice becomes the main one for a while before fuxi rejoins her. i'm sure the symbolism there is obvious. it's a very rich and layered song, there's a lot going on, lots of instruments and different cool sounds. GOD this fucking soundtrack is so well designed they put so much thought into how to make all the boss themes fit the different sols AUGH. AND AND!! when the song ends the last voice you hear is nuwa's, fuxi's ends dramatically but nuwa's carries on for a little longer. holy fuck.
ji's theme starts slow, and then a choruslike sound bursts in, sounding like a bunch of different voices overlapping each other to the point where they become the same-- the people in ji's past, probably, all the history they've lived to see, it probably blurs together after living for as long as he has. then there's a "chorus" section (though fully instrumental), with a gentle like hopeful rise and a lot of uhhhh metal percussion in the bg? idk instruments. but there's like a jangling beat and this dramatic choir-like rise and im not sure what it means honestly but it's very ji. actually the choir could be like, the core of themself and their personality, and the other beats the background noise/other people he's been? open to input on this one (and all tbh).
all i can say about eigong's theme is that it's the same as the opening and possibly somewhere in the apeman facility which is really its own symbolism
#case files#nine sols#nine sols goumang#nine sols yanlao#nine sols jiequan#nine sols lady ethereal#nine sols fuxi#nine sols nuwa#nine sols ji#music analysis#long post#lady e's and the fengs' are my favourite themes which i think you can tell by how much i wrote abt them#the fengs' theme fucks SO unreasonably hard they did not need to be doing all that
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AGAIN, NO SPOILERS just wildly out of context reactions i love folk music so much. anyway I’ll be writing all my thoughts here for the rest of these 28 mins. so.
• this song is so so good
• jayce u sexy man 😝 love my glorious goat jayce love him
• short haired jinx ily so much ur soooo cutie pie she’s so sweet with short hair u guys do not get it.
• heimerdinger CAN SING HELLO????
• ekko😍 ekko oh my GOD come home i’m so in love with you it’s actually sick and twisted and deranged please come home please please please please please please please
• JAYCE COME HOME RIGHT FUCKING NOW OH MY GOD NO COME HOME OH NY GOD COME HOME WHAT THE SHIT… jayce my glorious king im so so in love w u and i’m so sorry this fandom doubted u I NEVER DID KING!!!
• jinx & ekko r so fucking funny idk yall i think im kinda nailing their dynamic in my fic both the good and the bad parts
• okay i miss her long hair real bad
• ekko drops the hardest lines. “Sometimes taking a leap forward means leaving a few things behind.” EKKO UR SO RIGHT (guess what’s going in the fic yall)
• the hard cuts between jayce n ekko rlly r fryin me yall. im so lucky im sober bc if i was high watching this episode i would tweak out so bad.
• heimerdinger makes very valid points n im so happy ekko has him
• ekko in green😍🫶🏽 ekko in GREEN!!! oh lord the arcane graphic design team knew exactly what they were doing GET THIS MAN HIS GOLD JEWELRY AND SOME EMERALD GREEN THREADS STAT!!
• jinx🥹 she’s so cutie patootie😍 IF EKKO DONT WANT HER I DO MF MOVE!!!
• i fw this song its spanish i fw it heavy
• chat is it gay to look at the moon w ur bsf underneath some fairy lights? in this scenario its not GAY but its gay. (i use gay as a substitute for so many words i could not tell u what word in substituting w gay rn but it’s something)
• OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY GOD YES YES YES WE R SOOOO BACK WE R SO BACK YES YES YES YES YES YES TES YES TES TES YES YES YES WOOOOOOO
• jayce😍 (i miss mel but i also missed my two favs like one missed air soooo) also sorry guys i know this is just how the arcane looks but these holes r freaking me out so fucking bad. like idk the trypophobia it rlly making it hard guys. i’m trying my best to push thru im sorry guys but im probably missing pivotal moments of plot everytime i look away
• HOLY SHIT JAYCE?
• HOLY SHIT HEIMERDINGER!!!
• STOP I FORGOT HOW HE LOOKED PRE-THIS ARC HES SO 😍
• everyone said i would be crying but i am not?? was i supposed to??
• at the end of the day? i got what i wanted n idgaf. crossing this off the bingo card for three things i got right. if episode 8 gives me the other two then i win
live tweeting tweeting arcane part III (NO SPOILERS) yall ekko is so fine im abt to cry😭
#arcane part 3#reactions to this lowkey cute shit#episode 7 was a palate cleanser and i appreciated it immensely#fan service that isn’t gay for once n shockingly i still enjoyed it. strange.
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magical girl transformation but instead of just getting like, a cute outfit u turn into some fucking demon
#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.#IM SORRY I THINK ITS SO FUNNY. IM SO USED TO LIKE#SAILOR MOON#YKNOW????#MW THE CUTEST MIDDLE SCHOOLER IVE EVER SEEN SUDDENLY DOES THE CAT EYE THING RESERVED FOR ANIME VILLAINS: A#DARK'S RBF IS SO FUNNY TOOOOOO#dai normally: (*゜ー゜*)#dai w dark's appearance (his face just looks like that): 눈_눈
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WHY YES HAPPY FANART FRIDAY NIGHT it is fanart friday......
#i got friday night fanart fever bby#sorry#is posting fanart of three different sources in the same post evil i think its evil im sure its evil#im lazy tagging these i sowwy#my art#bloody roar manga#rosario vampire#love exposure#fanart#in that order...#digital art#doodlings#anthro art#idk why i always default to anthropomorphizing human charcaters into either cats or goats but PLEASE FOR THE SAKE OF#MY FURRYISM AND INTENSE JOY PRETEND YU IS A EWE PLEAES PLEASE ITD BE SO FUNNY#i actualsy have an embarrasing amount of love exposure furries in my sketchbook#also drawindg mashiro was a good fun time i used to draw her a LOTTTTT I TREATED HER LIKE AN OC AT ONE POINT#llike she was my go to when practicing a new thing#now i have eli .... *happy sigh#* in love sigh*
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your fridge-build , original-red-and-purple-oufit magneto showed up in my dream yesterday and i was so unprepared it woke me up
reading this made me cackle for like a solid minute gjAELKGJAK he just wanted to say hi ....
leaving you with a fridge-magnet-sized magneto. so hopefully he can say hi again but less intimidatingly
#fave#i have to fave this i need to be reminded that this happened once in a while this is so funny#xmen#magneto#snap sketches#PLEASSEE THATS SO SILLY JVLKAJLKJ IM SORRY/YOURE WELCOME???#i dont think anyones ever dreamt of my art thats so silly and flattering#what was he doing ... what he just floating in the corner ..... please im still not over this its so funny ...#on that note tho im so bad at remembering dreams i never have them really#i used to have dreams a lot as a kid/teenager but they were mostly- if not all now that i think of it- nightmares#HOWEVER. i will say that like. a lil bit after i rewatched first class for the third time#i got a dream or two one with mcavoy and the other with film charles#the mcavoy dream was just that i met him in greece or something and i think the charles dream was at the school#they were both nice dreams so Am I Complaining absolutely not#just reminds me of the time when i binge watched an actor's movies and i had dreams of him for a whole week#in one of them he was making fun of me but it was in whatever semblance of japanese my brain could bs so it wasnt that bad#but it kinda was cause Since It Was A Dream i understood what he said but anwyays .... not important#THE OTHER DREAMS WERENT BAD THO he was my dad in one. aaand the other uhh.. i forget ...#i must stress me dreaming is such an oddity so these were so like. Oh Yeah Im Capable Of Dreaming JVLKAJK#very weird feeling waking up from a dream is what im tryna say .. i think ...#very funyn .... anyways i hope magneto visits you in your dreams again whether hes built like a semi or like a bug#just for the cosmic comedy of it all
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"Funny enough I—like, if street hockey, ministicks, I always wanted to be a goalie too! Like, for some reason I always wanted to go in net. You know, probably because of [my Dad] and then, um, you know, once you get dinged a couple times and the shots get too hard you realise—then it's not so much fun after all so... Yeah, it was great he'd always—" "You probably wanted to be goalie 'cuz you're fucking crazy, man! Those guys are bananas! I actually went as a goalie in morning skate one time when I was suspended in the coast, and it was the scariest thing ever, bro. It's nothing like blocking a shot because you're literally just standing there, and these guys are shooting right at you. It's unbelievable!" "Yeah! You gotta get in the way of the stuff to save it! That's crazy! I know, and like obviously gear is like great and they don't really feel—but there is, like, that psychological thing going on where, like, you know, you wanna move out of the way 'cuz it's gonna hurt! I get—I mean, it must not hurt that much, like, 'cuz Bob's crazy, man! Bob loves taking—Well, I wouldn't say loves taking it off the head, but he doesn't hate it, like he—" "Feels good?" "You know, every once in a while—they hit him in the head and you go up and say sorry he's like, 'No, no! It's all good! I love it, I love it!!' and like, kind-of shoos you away so."
The Buzz Pod | 8.7.24 (x)
so speaking of banking pucks off bobbys head and how much he loves it flashback to that day in october of 23 where bobby was doing that for practise and managed to rope in matthew to the shenanigans to the utter confusion of everyone involved (x)(x)(x)(x)
#ryan lomberg#sergei bobrovsky#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#why can i perfectly imagine i love it i love it!! in bobbys voice#i love our resident maniac#goalies are a different breed#but especially bobby#theres still something so funny about asking the nicest guy on the team#to aim dingers off ya head absolutely knowing itd put them at odds with themselves#psychological warfare#i dont want to hurt him but also i love being a good teammate and helping my friends :(#absolutely diabolical for bobby to take advantage of matthews midwesternisms like that#every cat tries to be nice to their pretty princess but shes an actual lunatic#“we try to go up to say sorry but hes all like its all good i love it!” and other lore to add to the great big book of panthers#HE SHOOS THEM AWAY FROM THE CREASE AFTER THEY ALMOST CAUSE HIM A CONCUSSION OKAY????#LIKE OKAY OFF YOU GO IM FINE NOW GO BACK TO HITTING ME#bobbys a different breed truly#you know when they praise his work ethic i dont think they had this mind#i love lombo bringing this up during the goalies are fuckin crazy eh boys? segment#its so amusing to see how appalled he sounds when he says “they hit him in the head...” quote#like he just had to bring that up because hes still soooo about how egregious it is LIKE HE JUST SHOOS US AWAY???#phenomenal work here lads truly
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Im only on episode 12 (send help)
But I think is practically canon that laudna is very clingy so whenever imogen has a VERY close call (almost all the time) laudna gets worried and has to be at all times glued to imogen to remind herself that she's still alive
#also im phisically incapable of making laudna scary#i also like to think that she uses mending to repair imogen's glasses#then when laudna gets a close call imogen sees her in her nightmares#constantly sending thoughts to laudna asking if she's ok#or trying to tune off all the other thoughts and only listen to laudna's mind#so when this happens they end up shearching for eachother in the middle of the night because they are far too worried to sleep#and cuddle#cr3#critical role#critical role fanart#critical role campaign 3#fanart#bells hells#laudna#imogen temult#imogen x laudna#imodna#imogen makes up conspiracy theories jokingly (or maybe not) but fcg thinks she's being serious and you cant change my mind#and fearne only listens to them because she thinks its funny (and chaotic)#sorry for the tag spam#and sorry if it doesnt make sense#english is not my first language#ifosart
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do you ever think about how kon got drugged to the point of inability to think clearly and then enslaved for Two Fucking Months and then we just never mentioned that again? that is, except for when he went back to visit and help out the guys who enslaved and drugged him because he was lonely enough to befriend them after they said oh sowwy we didn't know you were a person uwu. i think about this a normal amount
#rimi talks#sorry yeah im thinking about That Fucking Arc again alsdhfkjds#if i had a nickel for every time kon got enslaved to be used as a trophy fighter for someone's entertainment while he was 16 years old...#...i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's kind of strange that it happened twice !#but at least the time with kossak didn't involve keeping him DRUGGED TO COMPLACENCY the entire time holy fuck#and was also MUCH shorter than TWO GODDAMN MONTHS#genuinely i think. like that arc is ridiculous in a lot of ways but if i take anything from it#it's that a) kon is so fucking lonely he will befriend people who have treated him Atrociously if they just go oh im sowwy#and also b) i just don't think he'll ever handle any mind-altering substances well after that. even if he represses it and thinks he's fine#its such a bonkers fucking insane arc but if you actually think about it its so incredibly fucked up????#and so much of it (like. so much else in sb94) is treated as humorous#but is in fact horrifying in implication. kon girlies we stay winning (kon gets fucked up but its fine bc its funny right)!!!!
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i love crazy contrasting 1p2p in every way(not every way). so i always subconsciously have 2P rusame be friends. unlikely friends etc. in whatever weird school au theyre friends. meri was probably bullied until he started hissing at other kids or something while rus2 was just like huhh okay yeah okay what fine. rus2 found him in a broom closet and it was as awkward as it sounds. in the weird stuckin1Pcoldwar au i have theyre friends also in the torturous existence. 1P rusame is too weird life is too short lets tomodachi✌️
#in comparison 1p rusame would be school insane psychological games social competition nerds MID OFF#2ptalia#i like the jp fanart where 2p ame is pitiful and gloomy. its cute#a little wannabe edgy but spare him he was left in the rain in a cardboard box when he was 2 years old.#i keep imagining a gay school au sorry. im gonna say shit now#rus2 is blunt and kind of. bad at reading signals. accidentally drags him and meri into karaoke with ame(enigmatic popular kid)#meri is like fuck my life... but he has a killer bitch face so people are like uwaa scary... hes brooding...#rus2 is like ah sorry i forgot you never had a normal teen friendship and clung onto (nada) all the time#meri is always coping like these people... dont get it... hes half right#they go to karaoke and ame sings really off key#actually i have a common daydream where ame's elusiveness is really funny to meri#he's like hahahaha what the hell that kids crazy ahahaha. like laughing at a cartoon#and then somehow he keeps being approached by ame (slow trying to step away) hes like noo... i dont actually wanna get close to u at all...#meri and rus2 probably play observers theyre quiet kids who go hmm im nooticing!#observing 1p rusames weirdship that everybody can see but they don't think anyone notices their crazyship#and rus2 is like oh two people talking and interacting alot. theyre friends. its just like a rivalry thing yeah?#while meri is like fuckkk the fucking golden boy is talking to us when ame talks to them rus2 is like#why dont you invite (rusia) to the karaoke arent you two friends#(ame mania face turns around)#okay thats all i got bye
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Red: Only kids make choices I’m taking both
#sorry i think my caption is funny so i added in the post#pokemon#pokemon special#pokespe#pokespe meme#trainer red#reguri#trainer blue#trainer green#namelessshipping#originalshipping#id say this is more game reguri dynamics but eh#rival green#rival blue#twflpokespe#i want mcdonalds too#i had this meme in my stash for like a week but didnt want to make it but i really wanted mcdonalds so i made it#mcdonalds 🤤🤤🤤#red is so real for this tbh#twflpokemem#this is a really old post and i dont think anyone reads tags this low but the im taking both is inspired by a..singer? comedian? from where#i lived and its one of his catchphrases the other catchphrase of him is somthing along the lines of#anything dating related problems? just break up#its cooler in cantonese and its a funny phrase i dont know how to translate it to english#the phrase i used in this post sounds cooler in canto too. english sounds. kinda shit.
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“Do you think love can bloom even on the battlefield?”(Monaco 2010-2013)
#the caption is (mostly)a joke and i *do* think im being funny with it#but that quote just suddenly popped into my brain and I could not stop laughing#but honestly tho that is my motto for any f1 ship but particularly abt drivers on the podium being touchy#like 'yeah you just beat me but i can respect that and so im gonna hug you about it'#(yeah yeah ik them hugging probably isnt that deep but their affection to their competitors means to much to me emotionally <3)#i like that the red bull boys are always at the scene of the crime its like they started it in 2010 and then committed to it#im particularly insane about the sebson and martian ones but as always webbonso going above and beyond#nando really said fuck these weak mfs bro-hugging im gonna clutch mark like hes my lifeline even tho he just beat me#btw i did research into all of the past 24 monaco podiums for this but these had the most flavor and theyre all directly chronological#sorry ik the spain gp is practically upon us by now but im still in monaco hell#i gotta get all the monaco posts out of my system#monaco: all bangers all the time#also this was meant to just be a photo post but then i looked at the actual footage and it turned into a gifpost oops#sebastian vettel#mark webber#jenson button#nico rosberg#fernando alonso#martian#sebmark#sebson#webbonso#sico#f1#formula 1#monaco grand prix#monaco gp#we do a little bit of f1
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when you light up your cigarette from another person's cig it's called the same thing as fucking them in finnish. and. i was drinking with a couple of friends last weekend and now that i think about it there is something funny about standing outside in the cold and having someone ask me to fuck them (= light their cig with mine) in front of their partner bc it's funny (said partner has also done the same to me). and we were all joking and being silly but both me and the partner are the kind of people that are fun to tease and make fun of bc 1. we dont mind 2. we find it funny usually 3. we unfortunately make it v easy, so. anyways i offer the end of my 2nd cig to the person whose cig i lighted earlier bc i wasnt feeling it and they had just declined a full cigarette from their partner bc that was too much at that moment so the partner was jokingly like "whyd you take leevi's cig but not mine" the the convo took a weird turn and ended up in two people who are standing on both sides of me patting my head and leaning on me while calling me a good boy. obviously it doesnt sound as hot in finnish but if i didn't already have a praise kink that would have awakened something in me
#im sorry i NEEDED to get this thing happening off of my chest#bc one of the people involved was someone my bestie cant stand so if i had explained this to her instead of posting here she would have mad#too many remarks about that person and i dont want that#though we did have a grest phone call yap session about other stuff today <3#anyways i left out some stuff from here i think this happened across 2 times of hanging outside on the same night#anyways it was funny#i have to say this was all doing jokingly in a nonserious manner but also most of us are ppl who flirt both accidentally and on purpose whe#drunk so. yknow. not flieting in a serious way though. its like. i dont want to call it smalltalk. u guys know what i mean#jokingly flirting with your friends#thats the phrase#ANYWAYS. ty for letting me get this off my chest#i can now sleep#leevi talks#edit also i dont really smoke it's only a social thing when drunk and about a pack a YEAR so it's fine and doesnt count
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admittedly, i am afraid to talk about this, but have wanted to for a long while. i don't see a lot of people discuss this kind of thing, but i decided to do so for the me who was struggling and didn't know. also i have no idea where i am going with this and it's very late for me rn so here's a whole ass ramble on vent art. and also a bit more on how it's impacting how i view my art, now. i am terribly sorry if it's not very cohesive, my thoughts on it aren't yet cohesive either WOOPS
i wanted to talk a bit about how vent art really impacted my mental health, and how the idea that art needs some kind of meaning to have meaning really has been weighing on me lately (i know this is a concept i am assigning to my work and is not actually the norm/standard expectation of others consuming art. but it IS a sentiment i have seen enough that does impact me).
i want to specify, obviously i am not saying vent art is bad.
nor that doing vent pieces, or vent blogs, will ultimately result in what i went through for a number of years. rather, that this did happen to me, and there is a near impossible chance i am a unique case in any experience i will ever have. if you do vent art and it helps you, that's good! im not judging anyone for anything here. if your experience does not match my own, that's what it's like to be human~. i am not invalidating anyone on purpose by sharing my own experience. sorry for the insane disclaimer but it will eat me alive if i go to sleep thinking "what if they think x cuz i didn't say y and think im a terrible person"
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i used to do vent art frequently (you won't find much on here as it was uploaded to a personal at the time). anytime i felt down or had a line of dialogue in my head making me feel bad in a way, i would draw for it. but the way i had interacted with it was really unhealthy. it became a terrible feedback loop where i'd feel bad, draw how i felt bad, look at the art, and ruminate even more on how i felt bad, until it spiralled so out of control i would lose touch with reality and get lost entirely in feeling like garbage.
i would just get so lost in the cycle with vent art that it would make my mental space worse and worse, and i would use the vent art as a negative confirmation bias. the words that hurt me i wrote down and anytime i looked again, they would hurt me again. but i would keep looking, and i would keep drawing.
i have always used art as an outlet, but for some reason the way vent art impacted me was unhealthy. it wasn't a good outlet. and it took me years to cut ties with it. i relied on vent art for a long time, but it took a lot of introspection and thinking to realise it wasn't the release i thought it was. and it was hard to let go, too.
i haven't touched the blog in a few months, now. i haven't done much vent art at all since then and genuinely, i've been doing SOOO much better. i no longer ruminate nearly as much as i had done so, i no longer get caught in a feedback loop that lasts for days to weeks. i still feel like garbage like people tend to do, but i don't put myself in a cycle over it anymore. i have gone back to it a few times in moments of desperation, but what used to be every week/every few weeks is now once a month maybe. and not to the extent at all (i would oftentimes post ~20 images in one night, before).
but i keep thinking about how, while the way i had done vent art was bad for my mental health, i keep feeling that just because i do sparkly cute and happy drawings, now, or drawings with no real meaning, that my art has nothing beyond face value... i do like a lot of my vent art. i think their compositions, or hidden messages and meanings, or colour use, was interesting.
but it wasn't worth the price for me.
so i am a bit caught in an in-between, here. my favourite form of art is the expression of love-you liked something so much, you dedicated time to draw it. and yet i cannot ascribe that to my own work very often. i think that man i wish i could make art with some kind of deeper meaning, that speaks to people, that's more than just pretty colours or shiny shading or a character everyone likes, or a character i like. but i just... don't know if it's for me.
ultimately, i could develop a healthy relationship with expressing and exploring negative emotions or experiences through art, but... do i want to? do i have to? do i need to? is it not enough to just draw something because... i like it..?
of course, the answer is yes, draw what you want, draw how you want, it's your art. but i am still trying to come to terms with that idea. i dont want to be seen as some shallow artist who just draws what's cute and pretty because they can and it's all they can think of, but like what if that's just what i like to draw??
in the end, that alone is good enough, drawing because you like to, because it's fun, because you like the thing you're dedicating time to creating for. it's just hard to grapple with after discarding a type of art that i felt was the only way i drew "for real".
anyways i am sorry this is soooo fucking long, and for all the clarifications (IM STILL NOT SAYING VENT ART BAD AND EVERYONE WILL DO WHAT I DID!! Dx) and the fact i had no real point here (probably)
anyways i will continue to draw what i want because i like to, as i have always been.
#text#my art#doodle#sketch#sona#prince#cyclops#long post#HOLY SHIT THIS IS MUCH LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED#sorry for the fucking rambling essay at 12am#tomorrow im doing cute commission art because its cute and i like that#i might one day share some of my fav vent pieces but for now its a bit weird#its also weird being open on any platform of mine not dedicated to being my personal blog#so im also very anxious abt that#but i wanted to try being more open and active on here too... so...#i hope this is ok#this isnt a vent either btw just me going on a ramble#i have been thinking abt it a lot the past year#also sorry for the many disclaimers#i am internetpilled and working on it#its funny cuz i dont even use twitter or tiktok which is commonly associated w the whole uh#people irl: hey whats up#kind of thing#i am very scared to share but i have a draft of this topic saved already like i do want to talk abt it#idk what i am afraid of so whatevs#also dont expect this much so anyone whos afraid ill be doing posts like this often#uh dont worry BSBDFBSD
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ppl on twitter are finally finding out that the creators of smiling friends are racist assholes who believe the great white replacement theory and were roommates and great friends with JONTRON
and im like yeah. he's a fucking newgrounds animator. are you all stupid and braindead?
but noooo keep drawing your fucking yaoi of those ugly fucking characters and keep making a literal fucking nazi a millionaire by getting his show renewed a million times i guess !!!
#like do none of you think for five seconds im so fucking serious#im seeing people be like oh nooo but theyre my comfort characters!! 😭😭#and other people be like well that was 7 years ago im sure theyve changed and turned everything around!!#like you people are literally nothing but selfish useful idiots who would rather keep platforming the views + giving money to#this OBJECTIVELY AWFUL PERSON!! instead of like idk. getting into something new. or looking into the shit youre promoting#but you guys dont care abt that bc u dont ACTUALLY care abt how shit like this affects anyone who isnt white#the show is funny and the characters are bright and colorful and vaguely gay in your stupid little head so you just turn your brain off#its incredibly selfish and stupid and literally. sorry. i think you're all OBJECTIVELY bad people.#and literally every artist i liked that ive seen get into this shit i have immidiately lost respect for#you are all so stupid
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