#on one hand i probably should so more people understand my perspective but i also dont want this to be a better drama than it already is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shuenkio · 5 months ago

Text

Juno | Lhs.

Paring: Heeseung X M!reader | Genre: Fluff.

Synopsis: Thought he'd be disgusted by your love letter however who knows what he actually feels toward you? When your friend accidentally puts that for fun note in your gift that you're about to give him?

Cw: Nothing.

Non proof read | Eng is not my 1st lang.

This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio

A@N: Christmas's laterally 3 more months away but who cares, I wanna make a change 💪 plus Juno are on repeating, so why not make an inspiration fic about it?

The Earth's spinning, people are living their lives in their own way, especially with their loved ones. You wonder, to the point of this age, should you just grow old as an old bachelor or find someone? Well, looking at yourself in the mirror already answers all your questions; you find yourself didn't match your satisfaction.

Insecure about your look wasn't enough; another thing is you've been hopeless romantic all of your life. Deep down, you wanted to have someone stay by your side, holding your hand while looking at the sky when it's sunset, cuddle when it's rain, compliment all the sweet things you've ever needed every day, and last but not least, you wanted someone to love you.

It's a silly daydreaming; however, every single day you can't go a day without thinking about anyone randomly popping out, riding their white horse, kneeling in front of you, and asking you, Would you be their partner? That's kind of crazy. Ever since then, brushed it all off as if it's nothing.

Continue to work hard for your bill in this messy industry. Surprisingly, God always has his own plan; he won't let you die alone... Right? Apparently, there's someone just moving in next to your apartment, and it's a man. Oh my. No, you can't be thrill just because he's a man; M/N, behave yourself.

That's how thirsty you are; later on, you thought you're the problem and started to behave yourself to be less attracted to a stranger, especially a man. On one holiday night, while back from work as you were unlocking your door, it was a coincidence when the new guy came out at the same time. Both of you never get the chance to greet each other because you're such workaholics. He greets you with a warm smile on his face, offering a handshake, as you hesitated to but still did.

He then introduces himself as 'Heeseung' called 'Evan' for short. He also said he never gets the opportunity to meet someone, mostly who are his neighbors since they are always out of the house just like you. For now, Evan wanted to invite you for a coffee. Oh. Spare a glance at his towering figure up and down; you realize he's positive; no bad energy from him; yes, you happily agree. A day turns into a week, a week turns into a month.

Trying all your hardest not to fall in love with Evan, who likes to do all those weird gestures that make your stomach fill with butterflies every damn time. Maybe you lack affection, sort of. He looks cool, is an ACE in everything, at least he can cook ramen, is a green flag in your perspective, is gentle and respectful of the boundaries, but one thing that made you stop midway was he can't be gay.

Evan is probably a straight guy that you mistake with his clingy behavior. Sigh, a lesson of life learned as a homosexual person. It's not right to force him to like you back, isn't it? Not even right to confess your true heart when he's so straight code, or he's not? Or is it worth pouring away all the heavy weight in your chest? The TV play in the living room, an announcement that today is going to be snow on this special day too, a Christmas day.

Brainstorming to seek out his favorite thing as you pop out an idea by gifting him a logo set; he loves it too much you couldn't understand why. As you were preparing the gift with all your friends together in a room before going out to celebrate in the city, you suddenly wanted to write a confession note for fun—write everything that had been living in your heart for a long time that has been hurting—a poem, to be honest, well, a little freaky, because you know you'd throw them away anyway.

"You make me want to make me fall in love."

"Wanted you to adore me back, hold me like you always did, and always joke, telling me I'm your only friend."

"Sorry, I like you, but I can't help it." "Liking you was the best experience in my life, and I hope for nothing but still us to be friends."

Out of the blue, coincidentally, once you finish the note, your friend happens to pull you for a group photo. While you were busy posing, one of your other friends had nothing to do, so they went to wrap all the gifts of all of them. Usually, at every Christmas festival, they are in charge of who does the wrapping. The group united is over; after they're all stepping foot in the city, they've all vanished. Holding your gift like a lost child, looking at the crowd of people who's busy with their own business.

The snow keeps falling down from the blurry sky nonstop, so cold yet it fits the vibe you were going for. Snuggle your hands inside of your pocket; you leave the scenes as you drag your feet to somewhere quiet, your favorite park that used to be lively but now it's a field of snow. Taking a hot breath under the cold temperature, a shadow cast towering upon you, looking up to see, it was actually your greatest neighbors, Evan.

"What are you doing here, Fox?"

"Me? Oh, just chilling; I don't like crowds anyway." response, the tip of your nose turns pink, which makes Evan find it adorable.

"Why? It's Christmas; you should go enjoy yourself!" Taking about Christmas alarms your mind; you take out the wrapped gift and hand it to him. He caught off guard to the gift you have for him. Everyone would give him gifts during this festival; never make him flinch but you, a different story.

"Ugh, don't get the wrong idea; you're my neighbors after all; neighbors gift neighbors, isn't that normal? Take it, unbox it," take a hold of his palm, and give him the gift while waiting patiently for his expression. Hearing you say those, he did as told. Unveil all the tie, tearing all of the paper. Evan sees a cartoon Lego set inside with a small scratchy note that is about to be trash. The corner of Evan's lip, tight into a cocky smile as he takes out the small note, and hands up to the light street nearby. Maybe he didn't laugh at the Lego set but something else.

Seeing a note that you did not put in there and a confession note too, your eye wide open. The heart inside of your chest is pounding and racing far from the beat. You were nervous and panicking. How can it flow in there? Oh, wait, don't tell your friend to put it in there; naur, screw you. Quickly get up from your seat. I wanted to grab that note away; however, who are you kidding, he was 180 cm while you? A tiny little person.

"Evan, give that back; it's not; it's not the right note. My friend mistakenly put them there. DON'T READ IT." jumping up and down, up and down to snatch the piece of paper away, which is no use. All you got was to exhaust yourself.

"Oh, let me see, hmm, mistaken? But I see your name under here from me, M-N. How is that a mistake?" Realizing Evan already read it, you stop there frozen; the outcome would be something you are not going to like. Same goes for Evan too. You thought he'd be all serious and disgusted by your love note yet replaced by giggles. Um what?

"You, M/N, why have you not told me sooner?"

"Because... You look straight, i guess. Sorry to assume, but you did look like it."

"Oh, come on, why should I be straight when you're alive?"

"I beg pardon??"

"The word 'I like you' is out trending, so I'd say I. Adore. You, my M/N. My gift for you is

'i love you too'

🗣️ please mind my English! ><

🗣️ Crd to all the room rightful owner: [divider Alanitalenia]

🗣️ ps: I was dead ass sick writing this, but still cooked anyway 🫂.

156 notes · View notes

thatdeadaquarius · 2 years ago

Note

Have some more language brainrot for your brainrot

Writer reader getting kind of insecure that even if they write something nobody will understand it, so when Al haithem askes you if he can keep a draft or two just for analyzing, there's hesitant agreement but ultimately you tell him to please burn the documents once he's done. They're too awkward to look at now...

Only he doesn't burn them, in fact he ends up recruiting several people close to the creator with knowledge of olden speak to analyze them. A funeral parlor consultant well known for his historical knowledge, a 500 year old shrine maiden who owns and runs her own publishing house, and a bard who somehow butted his way in on the project. None of them could resist the opportunity to witness the creator's sacred scriptures with their own eyes.

Needless to say, the papers ended up being fought over and have been making their rounds around your acolytes. It started with Ei, who insisted that as an archon she also should see the creator's work with her own eyes. Then once Ningguang found out, she ordered they be handed over to a team of literary analysts in order to be properly handled and deciphered. Things got really messy quick, but have luckily come to a halt as none of the acolytes want the creator to know their random writings are being fought over.

Especially when it comes to the creator's sullen additute. Their acolytes first have to convince their holiness that their inability to read and understand the creator's writing shouldn't prevent you from doing what you love. In fact... could they convince you to write some more?

WRITER OR READER WITH TALENTS HAS MY WHOLE HEART LIKE-

On one hand, same 💀 id be terrified for my all time fav skrunklies to see my bs

But at the same time i rlly wanna show them goddamit- THANK U FOR THE BRAIN FOOD IM RUNNING LAPS AROUND MY HOUSE THINKING ABT THIS-

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them), Writer!Reader

Planet: Language Shenanigans

Orbit: Scenario

Stars: Alhaitham mostly, some of Kaveh, mentions of other Sumeru characters

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Insecure about craft/writing, anxious first pov (not serious),

& Trigger Warnings: Mild Negative self-talk, insecure perspective/reader “you”, possible anxiety depiction.

You were not a very confident writer.

This had been an avoidable feeling ever since you picked up a pen for the first time and were asked to write a story for school.

You were always anxious turning in essays, letting friends proofread them, anything that would expose your writing to more eyes, because you’d learned the hard way early on that as you get older and better at something, the stuff from the beginning… starts to look a lot different than you remember.

things you used to be proud of after having completed them in the moment, were something you struggled not to rip to shreds a year or two after you re-found it.

If it weren’t for other writers advising holding onto old work so you can see your progress over time, you’d have probably literally nothing older than one year on your ao3, wattpad, etc…

So when you had the fortunate luck (no it is not unfortunately, you are very happy to be here tbh) to fall headfirst into your video game you’ve been obsessed with lately,

You were not planning on showing them any of your writing.

Why would you, after all? You’ve got the weapons, the artifacts, everything they need to be more powerful. Why would you show them a silly little story you wrote? Fanfic or otherwise, not that theyll recognize any characters besides themselves, but still.

Alhaitham, bc ofc it was alhaitham, cocky, deviously aware bastard he is, caught you writing in your spare time first.

You’d gotten your hands on an old journal (if made you feel better than something completely new, a nice worn leather journal, sold at a secondhand shop from an old adventurer) and had started to write what you could remember about some of your ideas you’d had drafts for in your old world

After initially walking in on you writing in the House of Daena (it was the closest you could get to lofi girl, god u missed her lmao), you nearly jumped a foot in the air bc Haitham’s a nosy bitch and leaned over your shoulder and scared the absolute shit out of you, mans goes from asking politely, to begging you to let him read some of your writing over the course of 3 weeks (a month really)

Finally, after this 6 ft (about 180cm) man leans down one day (you’re sitting writing again), and gives you the most insanely good?? puppy dog eyes??? you’ve ever seen on a man???

you give in, revise a draft about 5 times in a row, lose sleep bc ur having a breakdown about alhaitham judging ur writing the night before you give him his copy-

and hand over a small short story for him to read. you specifically leave a little note not to judge you so hard for Haitham bc u werent used to people reading ur work/let alone someone as highly academic as him, ESPECIALLY since your speech is already so much more archaic than his/all of Teyvats-

His stupid green eyes with diamonds look into your soul (are they sparkling??) and he braces your shoulders after you give him his copy,

“Mine Greatest Guide, you hath deemed this one worthy of thy trust of your creations personally, I would be a fool to gaze upon it in jest. To take this work as anything less than a masterpiece in its infant stages.”

…you just leave him to it, and are nearly running out of there (u managed to be calm enough to just speedwalk),

and you make a point to not ask what he thought about it, or even bring it up at all

you’re kind of hoping he forgot tbh… and so nothing happens!

◇

Nothing happens… for 2 weeks after you gave Haitham a copy of your short story.

You still don’t know Alhaitham’s opinion when you see the advertisement, a sign saying something about, a new book? By YOU???

You nearly start a mob because the shopkeeper insisted you sign some copies, but you only signed a few before too many people overwhelmed you, and seeing it was that same draft- !! Oh god, you’d been agonizing over the spelling errors you’d missed when you gave it to Alhaitham, and now it’s just out there???

(luckily it seems the reviews are positive, but dammit you’ve been rereading ur story u gave him for days, and now ur positive it’s shit-)

You make a break for it, and are literally running (more like speed-walking after a while, since u got further away) thru Sumeru City:

you pass by the open patio of a restaurant, the scholars are heatedly discussing ur characterization-

you pass by Dehya, Candace, and Dunyazard, the merc is waving around a copy of ur book, the other two women look excited abt the conversation-

oh my god-

Nahida is relaxing in one of the many little gazebos thruout Sumeru, while Wanderer seems to be reading your story to her-

You fucking track down Alhaitham’s house like a bloodhound.

You are banging the infamous gay roommates’ front door, panting til ur throat burns raw.

“Yes, yes, alright, greetings to you too! I was simply visiting the Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham, tis why I’m here- Greatest Lord?!”

Kaveh is nearly jumps a foot in the air at the sight of you, but recovers, (you’re still not tho lmao)

and invites you in bc apparently, Alhaitham’s been meaning to talk to you about your draft you gave him!

Oh yeah, you’ve got some words to give Haitham after giving him that damn draft privately-

But when he sees you, the fucker just- smiles??

Like he’s done nothing wrong???

You’re about to tear into him when he speaks first to tell you the good news!

He grabs your hands at the table and gets down on one knee, ohhhh no.

Alhaitham is giving you those damn begging puppy dog eyes again.

“My Greatest Lord, Giver of Power, and Guide to All, your exquisite story has entranced all of Teyvat, might I please insist you write a sequel? It is an excellent literary piece to analyze… or perhaps, even better, share other stories you’ve written??”

…

….Motherfucker.

☆

Hello I’m alive! I just took a longer-than-usual break between posts from those last 2 mammoth pieces about gifts,

1: bc they were a lot to write in between writing other stuff like fanfics im already working on lol 2: I got busy with holidays and trying to apply to jobs!

Not that I’m still not doing that.. but you get what I mean!

Safe Travels Anon,

That being said, as you’ve probably noticed, I’ve made a kofi! so if you ever liked my writing (hot mess it is) and want to show me some love, feel free to leave a tip! :]

Iced coffee?? :0

💀♒

☆

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

#hello i live #i just took a longer than normal break between posting bc the gifts were vv big and i had holidays/job searching to do #which i am still looking #but its better now #also gonna start linking my kofi if anybody is feeling generous! :]#sagau #genshin sagau #genshin isekai #my asks #genshin imagines #gender neutral reader #self aware genshin #sagau x reader #genshin impact sagau #genshin impact isekai #genshin x reader

1K notes · View notes

sophie-frm-mars · 2 months ago

Text

I'm gonna plural discourse for a bit

There's a video that I saw that proposed changing the diagnosis of DID/OSDD to either Dissociative type PTSD or BPD with dissociative amnesia. I think this is not a wholly sensible suggestion and I get into why in the first half of The Mad & The Mentally Ill (text up on my patreon video out in a few months probably) but without getting into a deep critique of the diagnostic model itself I wanna talk about the merits and problems with that suggestion

So on the one hand, PTSD and BPD are already both dissociative in their lived experience. With PTSD you have both the dissociation of feeling like your trauma happened to someone else and the dissociation of feeling like you aren't where and when you really are when you're experiencing a flashback. BPD is dissociative in all its core mechanisms, and there is a sort of emotional "dissociative amnesia" at play when someone with BPD moves from one extreme emotional state to another, because they shift emotional reality so fast it can give them and people around them whiplash. This is a part of what gets people with BPD called manipulative - they change emotional states so fast people assume they must be faking how they're feeling to get what they want.

Therefore it makes some sense to some degree to say that someone whose dissociative identities are formed out of intense trauma has PTSD and that a system of alters that resemble different "personality states" of one core identity is BPD. Or at least it's a somewhat internally consistent model

On the other hand, the lived experience of plurality isn't like that and the best way to explain the difference is to say "it's like you are several different people". In other words I think that there's something potentially useful in this suggestion for helping plural people understand themselves but the suggestion itself is coming from a strictly singular perspective that wants to insist that the ontological nature of the self is singular and in reality the self is simply plural in all cases. "Singular self" people are radically different people who experience radically different thoughts and feelings at work, at home, with friends, with family, when stressed, when tired, when reminded of childhood. As Richard Schwartz says "parts work is for everyone" and I think this attempt to legislate plurality out of the DSM is philosophically an acknowledgement that in effect everyone is at least a little bit plural and an attempt to reconcile that by saying "therefore no one is" instead of opening up your conception of the self to a little more possibility than previously allowed.

Besides all of this, and now I am getting a bit into my critique of the diagnostic model, trauma works differently for different people, and for some people the minor traumas of simply being alive are enough to have profound psychological effects. In the plural community I've seen discussion of "endogenic systems", i.e systems where "they're just like that" rather than there being a specific root trauma. The trauma that forms something like BPD is everyday and commonplace - an environment of traumatic invalidation - just kinda being gaslit by life. Also I think there's a popular understanding that the way people heal from wounds is not their "natural" state and is therefore wrong, but you just have to accept that you are the shape you are and you have no choice but to love yourself. I guess after writing that sentence I should probably acknowledge that I'm plural and that I've known since I was a teenager but was too scared to tell anyone until about two years ago. Where was i. Okay you need to accept that every experience shapes and affects you some amount and lose the idea that trauma is a unique kind of experience which is bad and makes you somehow bad or less or deformed.

Just because someone is some kind of way because of experiences they had doesn't mean they need fixing. Everyone who will ever live is ways they are because of stuff that happened. My point is that I don't see a distinction between systems being "born this way" or formed through specific trauma as long as they are comfortable and happy existing as themselves in the world, and it's stupid and reductive to try and redefine plurality in singular terms when no one is truly singular anyway

82 notes · View notes

iicarused · 11 months ago

Note

More on that whole Alastor having a spouse thing (spoilers for ep5).

A dynamic I've had rotating in my mind is of Alastor having a partner who died and went to hell with him. They represent the stereotypical couple from their time and all around are just happy, despite being in hell. Before they died Al's darling helped him cover up his crimes. Being his alibi, lying to people and cleaning up any messes he might have accidentally left behind. Even on occasions helping him cook or even back using the meat he hunted for. And when they both eventually kicked the bucket they held those values as they did when they were alive.

From an onlookers perspective they come off as a couple who's madly in love with one another, still holding that adoration towards each other through the decades they've been together. They dance together, they hold hands, they kiss… But it's not love. Ok, let me rephrase that for you. They gouge out other people's eyes out of jealousy, they pick their next victims together, they have eachothers back through thick and thin. It's not love, it's deeper.

The thing about those two is that no one can really understand them, as cheesy as that sounds. It gives them a sense of solidarity, that there is no one else for them because there is no one else like them. They are the only ones they would consider… Equals. Heh, one of the reasons why they're so intertwined with each other is because they're both just so terrible. His darling spouse just seems more negotiable, but their passiveness is a ruse. Coming of as motherly/fatherly (whatever the gender neutral term is) easily reeling in any weak minded sinners. Their diabolical antis have Alastor weak. HAH, the demon/angel, whoever has Alastor on contract wishes they had this amount of power over him because he, is, whipped.

Oh, and we can't forget the hotel's residents finding out about Al's little darling doe. Either it was Alastor who mentioned them or Mimzy did through her retelling of how Al rose to power. Or they already meet them (Husker, Niffty), but nevertheless the crew has only heard good things about you. Much to their surprise considering how self centered the dear demon is, while Vaggie is weirded out by this her girlfriend is happy and wishes to meet them someday/night. And when they do meat? They weren't very surprised, they kinda already had an image of who they were due to Alastor's ramblings.

Holding you close he kisses your neck where the burn marks are most visible. You can feel his everlasting smile tugging into a frown against your skin, the mere thought of you taking your own life still makes him sick. How afraid you must have been without him. You lean back cupping his cheek with your hand looking deep into his sorrowful eyes. An unfamiliar look for the usually dapper man, it didn't suit him.

“There's no need to get so worked up over old scars dear, I don't, so why should you? Besides, I'm here now aren't i?”

At your words the radio demon saged and let out a content sigh, his lovely smile returning.

“Your right” he said, kissing the inside of your palm before returning back to snuggling with his lover.

…

I can't imagine the reader not having a twang to their voice, their own vibe, not radio per say but something like from this youtube clip. It probably wouldn't make sense for them to sound like that but I couldn't get it out of my head.

If there's one thing I love , it's when others explore the relationship between the two individuals before they went six feet down under. And one of those versions that i quite enjoy is Deer Dolly by ohproserpine check em out. And also, Where do I begin? on ao3 (be warned, for there is implication of SA in it, nothing too graphic but still, protective Alastro being protective, love it).

I think the appeal of Alastor was how different he was (except for in the creepy ass twink department, we've got plenty of those). Mainly in the way he was presented. “a show made independently, and the voice actors are making streams talking in their characters voices? Ö”. And everyone just ran with what they had, we were given just enough to fall for the colorful cast, enough to make fan content before the pilot was out. Like the dad jokes, fan animations, Alastor saying darling~ and the many accounts of them flustering Ashley, among other things :) (all the letters are links, haven't seen some of these in years dafuq). I'm surprised that not many people use what they said in the streams in their writings, I'd wish to see more of that. There's some real gold in there to be utilized.

But anyways, back to the topic at hand. There's always been one song I've associated Alastor with, since I was like 15 to16 years old, and it's something has to happen. Can't help but imagine a chase sequence whenever I listen to it, and I recently found some more inspiration in the form of this! and that.

He could smell the fear radiating from his prey, they ran with haste, trying to put distance between them and their pursuer. The demon chuckled to himself at their persistence. Such a lively prey they were, truly, he couldn't wait to hold them close to his chest, to trap them in the grip of his teeth, tearing tissue and bones in his jaws. Oh He loves them, he hunts them.

…

Man, I remember back in the day there were so many stories revolving around Alastor appearing in the living world to torment his darling, or to make a meaningful connection with them. But I've never seen one where his darling is his accomplice, helping him spread his “curse” onto unsuspecting victims. I got this idea from this piece of artwork by lanveril.

i remember the days of that too! it was such a great time of alastor and obsession fics yknow, but also small??? since it was just the pilot and we had a lot to toy around with. but you are so right about him and his s/o being a cheesy couple.

the sweetest couple on the block who seem very normal and overall a prime example of love. “darling, i have the meat!” and you would beckon him in the kitchen with a sweet smile so you could prepare it.

i think he would be a cliche husband, but also one who enjoys a little rough housing form time to time.

i had to gatekeep this ask for awhile mb LMFAOO i loved it so much😭

#★*#alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader

173 notes · View notes

lu-dao-writes · 1 year ago

Text

— 𝐀 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐎𝐟 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 (𝘼𝙡𝙥𝙝𝙖!𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 𝙆𝙖𝙢𝙤)

꒰ྀི ᥫ᭡ 𝙎𝙮𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨 Despite being semi aware of his and his siblings existence, that’s all he knows. Choso not only has to navigate being fully alive, but he has to understand his role as the older brother, and understand his role as an alpha.

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) Omegaverse/ABO dynamics, SPOILERS, scenting, nesting, Kenjaku and him being a questionable dad, Mahito being… himself really, mentions of sex/ heats and ruts, mentions of porn watching, gn!reader, reader is Gojo’s sibling (you decide if biological or not), reader’s dynamic is not specified but hinted you’re either an alpha or omega, angst, bittersweet ending, vague threat alluding to sa not made by Choso but Kenjaku, grief.

𝘼/𝙉 It’s finally here (on my tumblr anyway lol)! This is more of a character study for Choso that I wanted to do, and because I also wanted to do an omegaverse piece. Reader and Choso interact later down the line, and the last bit is just the Reader’s perspective. Not too confident with the last bit but I’m ready to be done lol. Idk if I should have the minors dni warning cause there’s nothing super explicit here, but I’d say this is probably for a mature audience? I’ll be lenient but I’d rather not see a 13 year old like this🤣. But I hope y’all enjoy this! Also thank you for your patience!𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒ ꒱ྀི

꒰ྀི𝙒𝘾: 5,232 ꒱ྀི

꒰ྀི 𝙏𝙖𝙜(𝙨) ��️ ꒱ྀི @staygoldsquatchling02

THE first breath of life is usually a special, momentous moment.

Sometimes it’s the start of a miserable existence where a soul must struggle before finding the sweet taste of… Whatever it is.

But for Chōsō, it’s more disorienting than anything, and the main thing on his mind is his family.

Chōsō and the rest of his siblings have been aware of each other, almost as if they’re connected by a mind link, but there’s no words to be said nor heard. It’s just a faint thrumming, almost like the thin strands of a spider's web being plucked.

The death painting cared not for anything else outside of his siblings.

That is until he had to when he took his first official breath.

Chōsō awakens to two people in front of him; two men with various smiles plastered on their faces. One a mild smile with slight interest in his eyes with ink black hair cascaded down past his shoulders, a scar across his forehead and dressed in some traditional getup.

And the other has giddy, dual colored eyes seemingly bright with.. Something that makes him feel a bit uncomfortable. He’s got dull blue hair and stitches in various spots on his body.

After briefly studying their appearance, scents infiltrate his nose. A wave of multiple things and so overwhelmingly strong that it makes his skin itch and belly clench.

On one hand there’s a mix of spicy, and smoky with hints of sweetness, and on the other hand it’s sour and bittersweet.

Chōsō covers his nose before becoming slightly infatuated with his new appendage. Too pale skin with a few bulging veins. He wiggles his fingers before a voice finally speaks up.

“You’re finally awake, Chōsō,” the dark haired man speaks, his voice giving Chōsō the feeling like something creeps up his spine, but he’s not sure if it’s a pleasant feeling or something dreadful.

Chōsō blinks at him cluelessly, purple eyes mirroring each other as they look at one another, but eventually Chōsō can see a hint of delight in the others eyes, but his face remains composed.

The man with the stitches giggles, the sound being higher pitched compared to the ink haired man.

Chōsō looks at the other with a bit of confusion.

“Ignore him, but I’ll cut to the chase. Your name is Chōsō and you are the oldest of 9 siblings.”

Chōsō finds himself nodding, being aware of this knowledge, but he does not interrupt him.

“Behind you are Esō and Kechizu.”

Chōsō whips his head around, his heart swelling as he watches the vessels slowly morph until they’re at their final shape.

His beloved younger brothers…

The reasons for him to strive to be the best role model and pave the right path for them and them alone, no matter the mistakes he’s bound to make.

His responsibility…

“You are responsible for them and each other,” the man continued from behind him.

The man with dual colored eyes wanders closer, crouching down near Esō and Kechizu. He reaches out and pokes at them carelessly, the action infuriating Chōsō to a high degree. He acts before he could comprehend what he's doing, his hand smacking the other’s away and a rancorous snarl spilling from within his throat, startling himself. His eyes are wide and he touches his throat, the pad of his middle, ring, and index fingers pressing at his Adam’s apple.

The man that was prodding at his brothers only cackles. “Oh, he didn’t like that!”

“Mahito, I suggest not testing him too much. He’s an alpha that doesn’t know how to control himself, and I certainly won’t help if you get hurt because you couldn’t stop running your mouth,” the other man warns, not sounding concerned in the slightest.

The unserious man, Mahito, scoffs. “Oh please, Getō, I’m not scared of some untrained alpha mutt.”

Chōsō is left even more confused, but he’s not insulted, instead he focuses on hovering over his brothers, not wanting Mahito to touch them again.

Now that he’s more present, he can tell who’s smell is who. Mahito’s is the one that smells sour and bittersweet, while Getō is the smoky, sweet and spicy one. It’s still overwhelming to smell them both, the urge to snap at both of them was strong, but he was not going to break composure again unless necessary.

Esō and Kechizu’s scents were slowly coming to life, their scents not being bothersome to Chōsō.

Esō smells faintly of something soft, floral, and sweet, but underneath that it’s death.

And Kechizu’s scent is earthy, metallic, and also smells of death underneath it all, but his scent is not as strong as everyone else’s.

They’re perfect in his eyes.

Chōsō holds their hands as they wake up, his gaze almost blank but there’s a touch of softness there in those dark purple eyes of his.

“Hello younger brothers,” he greets, his voice dull while his hands hold theirs tenderly.

“You’re Esō,” he directs to his brother who looks like an unearthly human.

He then looks to his other brother who looks less human. “And you’re Kechizu.”

Esō and Kechizu smile at him and wrap their arms around him, their scents meshing together and onto each other’s skin like a semi permanent tattoo.

Seeing their smile, and feeling their warmth… Chōsō wants to make sure he keeps them safe and happy.

Mahito scoffs and Chōsō is alerted.

“Chōsō is the only one that looks good. How come the other two look so gross?”

Another cord of uncontrollable anger surges through him, but he restrains himself enough that only a small growl leaves his throat, purple eyes glaring pins and needles into Mahito who looks like he couldn’t care less.

Esō’s scent suddenly grows foul, permeating through the room and alerting everyone.

It further pisses Chōsō off but before he could lose the little amount of control he has, Getō cuts in calmly.

“Where are my manners? I’m Getō Suguru, and I’m sure you heard me address him as Mahito. Before we let the three settle in I have more to discuss with you.”

Chōsō noticed while Getō was talking that he had a way to command his attention even though Chōsō was far more focused on making sure his brothers were okay, especially Esō.

Getō goes on to talk about his plans for the world and wants them to join in his cause. Chōsō frankly does not care, as long as he and his siblings can live peacefully in this “new world”.

“We’ll join under one condition,” Chōsō declared once Getō was finished with his speech.

Said man’s smile grows an inch. “Go on and name your condition.”

Chōsō speaks firmly, never once wavering as he and Getō stare each other in the eyes. “As long as my brothers, as well as our other siblings, can live peacefully in the end of all of this, we’ll cooperate.”

Getō looks like he expected nothing less from the ill looking man. “I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

Seeming that it seems to be a deal, he nods before speaking again. “Now then, what is with you calling me an alpha?”

“Ah yes! I will give you books on your biologies and as well as get you and Esō the proper medications you’ll need.”

Mahito gags, toying with his hair. “Those pesky suppressants. Who even needs those when they end up becoming a problem later?”

Chōsō’s eyes fly open with alarm, his purple orbs darting over to Getō and narrowing slightly, silently demanding an explanation.

Getō waves off his gaze, still having that carefree expression of his. “That’s years and years down the line.” Then he suddenly pins Chōsō with a knowing stare, looking a little arrogant now. “Esō is an omega and without them he could get hurt. You wouldn’t want that now would you?”

Chōsō swallows and only gives him a stiff nod, the terms still lost on him, but if the medication can keep Esō stable for now, that’s all he needs to know. He’ll figure out another solution later when he’s more knowledgeable.

Getō then guides the three beings into a room and inside there’s a large bed, small wooden desks beside the bed, light fixtures, a tv, empty bookshelf, a standing mirror, and a fuzzy couch. On the bed there’s a pile of random articles of clothing and some shoes that the siblings wander over to.

“This will be your living space, when you’re able to go outside feel free to buy anything to liven the place up more,” Getō advises, remaining at the doorway. “I’ll let you three get dressed and I’ll be back shortly.”

The siblings don’t acknowledge him, focused on finding the right pieces of clothing for themselves.

And Chōsō finally runs into his first problem as an older brother. When Esō was trying his first set of clothes on, he was absolutely horrified when he saw what was on his back. His scent soured and stunk up the room, drowning Chōsō and Kechizu.

Esō moves away from the standing mirror, keeping his back away from his brothers, his eyes slightly welling up. “I look disgusting!” he gasps, a million thoughts and scenarios passing through his eyes and it makes Chōsō panic and clam up. He wants to help him immediately, but when he takes a step towards him, he’s lost on what to even say.

“Esō don’t be so harsh on yourself. Kechizu nor I even batted an eye on what’s on your back. You’re not disgusting,” Chōsō explains to him, his voice blunt but with a twinge of gentleness.

Esō's expression softens but he looks off to the side, his attention elsewhere again. He shakes his head and moves to the pile of clothes again. “Please.. Don’t look at my back.”

“But-.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Please, Ani…”

Chōsō wants to push, but hearing the pleading in Esō’s voice makes him reluctantly sigh and let it go. He only wants to make his brothers happy, and if Esō doesn’t want to talk about it, fine. He’ll have to trust that whenever Esō’s ready he’ll come talk to him.

“I don’t think I want to wear any of these,” Kechizu chimes in before the silence could swallow them. “It’s not like I’ll be able to walk out in public anyways,” he adds with a shrug and tossing the shirt in his hand, not having a care in the world about that fact.

Chōsō hopes that Kechizu keeps that attitude because he doesn’t even know how to help Esō with his current situation.

“That’s fine,” Chōsō murmurs, admiring some boots that were on the bed.

Once dressed to their liking, Esō’s smell had gradually turned back to normal, easing the other two.

“Are you both comfortable?” Chōsō checks in.

“We’re fine!” Esō replies while Kechizu nods with a smile. “Are you?”

Chōsō nods with a hum. “I want you both to have the bed. The couch will be fine with me.”

They tried to argue and insist that he could also take the bed with them, but Chōsō insisted that he already took a liking to the couch anyways. Since the younger siblings knew there was no way to change Chōsō’s mind, they give up, settling down onto the bed.

“What do you think of all of this?” Esō eventually asks.

“All I care about is my family,” Chōsō answers without hesitation. “We live for each other, and as your older brother I’ll do my best to keep you both happy and safe.”

‘I will set a good example for them like I’m meant to. Even if I stumble along the way..’

“And we’ll keep you safe and happy!” Kechizu declares with Esō nodding with his arms crossed.

“That won’t be necessary but I appreciate it,” he says softly, lips curling up slightly. “Your happiness makes me happy.”

Suddenly there’s a knock at the door before it opens, revealing Getō with books and a bag of medicine in hand like he promised. “Here you all go,” he says, handing them off to Chōsō.

Chōsō stares at the book that was on top: “Alpha Biology 101 For Dummies.”

“Whenever you three are ready the rest of us will be out here,” he says before gliding away once more.

As Chōsō learns to grasp what life is now for him and his brothers, he soon learns the meaning of what are alphas, betas, and omegas.

Kechizu is a beta. People with this dynamic don’t have to take suppressants like alphas and omega have to to regulate sexual urges. Their scent is not as overpowering, and… Well… In simple terms they’re basic.

Not his words.

Now onto omegas. Omegas were highly sought after, spoken of like they’re prized treasures. They have heats that occur and are said to be “submissive” and the “caregivers” of society. Lot of the texts in the books he was given speak of omegas being frail and are made to be infantilized. It was weird, and it made him feel dread in the pit of his gut as he thought of either of his brothers being treated that way.

Chōsō was conflicted about what was being told to him from the books, and his own analysis from being around his brothers, Mahito, and omegas outside the hideout.

Mahito and Esō were not submissive. While Esō is sensitive that does not mean that he’s submissive. He’s clever and likes to dominate the room and anyone that tries to walk over him. Just as long as no one speaks or gazes upon the face on his back he’s fine.

Mahito… He’s playful, sadistic, and dominates the room, especially those he considers inferior. He’s anything but fragile and doesn’t need protection. The world is his playground and he doesn’t care who gets hurt or what gets broken by him.

Chōsō knows there’s not a caring bone in his body.

If anything.. Kechizu, despite being a beta, had what the textbook would describe as “omegan behavior”…

Even while he people watched he could see that what was said in the textbook was so… Wrong. Outdated.

It all just seems to be one big insult to omegas while only slightly uplifting them.

But Chōsō takes the basics so that he’s got a foot to stand on when taking care of Esō's and his omegan needs. And of course he made mistakes along the way, and at first he’s hard on himself when it comes to forgiveness.

Esō likes to nest with minimalistic things, even though he’s somewhat forced too since the brothers don’t have much to begin with. Esō also isn’t a perfectionist when it comes to his nest. He just wants one or two items that belong to his brothers and somewhere comfortable. He’s not big on constant need of physical touch, something he snapped at Chōsō for when he tried to coddle him a little too much. He does however like to wear bracelets that have Chōsō and Kechizu’s scent on them. It’s something he never likes to take off unless they need to be rescented. Those bracelets keep him happy just as much as being in his brother’s presence.

But finally onto alphas…

Alphas seemingly have too much power. They’re viewed as dominant, aggressive, and almost as gods, and the superior beings of the world. Like omegas they have heats, but they’re called ruts.

But once again, Chōsō goes off what he sees amongst Getō, Jōgo, himself, and people outside.

Chōsō has yet to really lose his senses, unless it comes to his family. But he’s not possessive of anything, outwardly aggressive, and he doesn’t even look like a typical alpha, something Jōgo mumbled about once with Mahito also agreeing halfheartedly.

Chōsō also doesn’t bother to assert himself when it comes to Jōgo or Getō.

Jōgo every now and then tries it, but Getō asserts himself elegantly without doing much effort, and he mocks Jōgo when he fails.

There’s also a big aspect on sexual urges and he himself hasn’t crossed that path and neither has his brothers.

Even when he accidentally walked in on Mahito cackling about the porn he was watching- although the obscene noises startled him- it overall did nothing to him.

Briefly he does wonder if something is wrong with him, but in the end he doesn’t care enough. He appreciates that he doesn’t have to deal with it because it’ll just get in his way.

Chōsō believes he has a decent understanding of all the dynamics, but he has no interest in telling anyone how they should behave. It’s not his place and he sees no point in it.

People watching has helped, but soon it starts to take a toll on him. Looking at the humans… He has no hatred towards them, but looking at them constantly reminds him how his other siblings will not be welcomed. Only he can walk around without much problem, and that sucks.

So eventually he stops going out so much, keeping himself at the hideout and leaving only when necessary.

He just hopes that following Getō’s plans doesn't come to bite him in the ass later…

But unfortunately the universe isn’t so kind to him. While playing a silly little board game with the other residents, Chōsō feels like his heart was being gripped so tight while simultaneously being slowly torn apart and beating rapidly, his mind flashing with images. He ignores Mahito’s whining and barely even moved to respond to Getō when he asked if he was okay.

“Both… Both of my brothers just died,” he says, his voice heavy. His scent is sour and oozing from him, causing Mahito to complain more before he’s distracted by something Getō says.

Chōsō breaks through the static when he feels Getō’s hand on his shoulder, gazing at him with a slight look of sympathy. The game board was already cleared up and everyone else was gone, leaving them alone.

“Let’s go retrieve their bodies,” Getō orders lightly.

Chōsō blinks at him, a little stunned he’s willing to even do that for him. He just nods, his throat thick with saliva. Or maybe it’s bile.

As they walk together Getō never once walks ahead, just remains at Chōsō’s side. His scent wraps around him as if to comfort him, and he still doesn’t know what to make of it, but it does keep him grounded and… It feels nice.

But surely he’s not trying to act like a father to him. Getō’s not soft either.

Chōsō pushes it aside for now the moment he sees his dead brothers laid up next to one another. That’s when the tears suddenly came.

Tears continuously drip down his pale cheeks, never ceasing even as he tries to swipe them away. He falls to his knees and hugs their bloodied bodies into him, sobbing and begging for their forgiveness for not being there and saving them.

He felt their fear and it was sickening. He felt everything up until they took their last breaths.

Chōsō whimpers that he’ll avenge them. He’ll slaughter Yūji Itadori and Nobara Kugisaki for what they’ve done.

Getō watches with a soft expression, his lips quirked just slightly with wicked twinkle in his eyes. He reaches over to lightly ruffle Chōsō’s head, comforting him and letting him grieve.

After properly burying his brothers, Chōsō started caring less and less about the plain, the only thing truly fueling him being revenge.

So during the fight with Gojō Satoru in the Shibuya subway he hardly put much effort into it, letting Jōgo and Hanami take the lead and do the heavy lifting.

From Getō, Chōsō has been made aware just how strong he is, and Chōsō has no wish to die by his hands. His quarrel is not with him and he doesn’t want Gojō to be in his way.

Especially not when he’s so close to his brothers’ killers.

Just when Chōsō can find himself falling asleep due to sheer boredom and from his legitimate lack of sleep, a sudden scent wafts in the air and punches him straight in the lungs, his pupils slowly widening. There’s a sudden electricity running through his veins and he’s become alert, head swiveling around.

It’s a scent so alluring and it floats around the subway, slowly becoming stronger, and standing out amongst the gore and sour rot. It comes closer until his head is snapped to the side, a foot quite literally snapping him out of it.

Chōsō grunts as he crashes to the ground, and when he looks at his attacker he’s once again stupefied.

“This right here is Gojō Satoru’s sibling. A special grade just like him. Do be careful if you happen to cross paths,” Getō warns before slipping the photo back into his pocket.

Chōsō only grunts, his disinterested eyes moving off to the side.

The air around them is almost electric and soon enough the light overhead bursts, but neither flinch.

Chōsō assumes it’s the youngest Gojō’s technique, but he’s not certain, nor does he dwell on it for long, his brain becoming inebriated from the scent.

Neither move and the once fierce expression on the other’s face slowly morphs into one of trepidation, scent souring and causing him such great discomfort that he lets out a timorous whine he couldn’t withhold.

Chōsō’s skin suddenly becomes hot, tingling all throughout his limbs, and something stirs to life deep within himself.

Those pretty eyes still have him locked in place before they’re gone within a blink of an eye.

“Satoru!”

The ever thinning bit of control he has is snapping thread by thread, and he’s down to the last few strings.

“Y/N, for once just listen to me and get the hell out of here! Go warn the others, I’ll be fine!”

Dark purple eyes watch as Gojō Y/N struggles for a moment before unwillingly turning tail to leave the scene, effortlessly blasting away any trouble that stood in the way. Chōsō was surprised that Getō even allowed it to happen.

But that’s beside the point. The moment the younger Gojō disappeared, Chōsō felt like everything was going to collapse around him, his mind struggling to stay coherent and rational, his scent unknowingly stinking up the room.

Find Gojō Y/N and cage the sorcerer in his arms.

‘Follow the scent, take Gojō Y/N, keep safe. Don’t let Y/N die like I let my brothers die.’

Despite wanting to give chase, the small, single strand of sanity left in him told him not to do such a thing. He’d be what he’d criticized other Alphas for. He may be half curse but he’s no insatiable animal.

“Woah,” he heard Mahito remark. “Looks like we’ve got a problem. Chōsō seems to have finally hit his rut! Talk about bad timing!”

‘Rut? This is what a rut feels like..?’

“Is that so?” Getō croons, with a wicked look of delight. He studies Chōsō’s panting figure before taking a peek back at a shaken Satoru.

“Pfft, it was all because of Gojō Y/N! That’s hilarious! Are you a masochist, Chōsō since you’re getting all excited from a kick to the face? Priceless!” Mahito giggles.

Chōsō can see Satoru begin to struggle even more despite it being futile, he’s bound up so tight and soon going to be swallowed into the prison realm. He’s snarling furiously and his feet even manage to crack a few tiles underneath him, but Chōsō can tell from his panting there’s a bit of panic.

For a moment Chōsō can get him. His family is possibly in danger and he can do nothing but struggle.

He’s mildly offended though since the last thing he wants to do is hurt the ones he’s drawn to. But he understands so he doesn’t take it to heart.

Chōsō’s attention soon goes back to Getō who throws his head back, laughter spilling his lips. “Oh, this is unexpected!”

The laughter only pisses Satoru off and excites Mahito. And meanwhile Chōsō is left with anticipation along with the others.

After his fit of laughter Getō hums with amusement and turns to look at Chōsō, smiling oh so sweetly with an evil twinkle in his eyes. “Well, go on then, Chōsō.”

Chōsō blinks, hearing his own ragged breathing and the permission granted from Getō.

“Go on and hunt Y/N down if you wish. It’s a shame I couldn’t capture them both, but this can work just as well if you capture—.”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Satoru practically howls, nearly foaming at the mouth.

But Getō ignores him, still staring daggers into Chōsō’s eyes. “Go, Chōsō. Take what’s yours.”

Chōsō feels disgust bubbling in his gut at his words, feeling that the ravenette meant something more sinister when he told him that. But he takes this chance and runs, wanting to find the person that triggered his rut and hope the ache goes away. He also hopes he can keep himself together.

You sprint like you never have before, the wind smacking your face and your lungs beginning to burn. Your heartbeat is like thunderous drums and the air doesn’t seem breathable to you.

That scent.

The scent of elderberries, a pinch of spice, and a touch of blood…

It’s imprinted in your mind no matter how much you try to forget it.

There’s just no way that he’s your fated one.

The universe truly likes to play wicked games…

What’s worse is that it seems like your meeting has brought upon his rut. You just hope to god that your cycle won’t come about from this.

You always take your medication, never missing a beat, but when alphas and omegas typically meet their fated pair or pairs it sometimes doesn’t matter, a cycle may or may not occur.

The best case for you obviously is that if you do hit your cycle, it comes after the battle. If you’re still alive anyways..

So you keep your fingers crossed and push it aside, trying to find the nearest group around.

And thankfully it’s Nanami’s you run into.

Just as you’re about to break the news you’re swiftly cut off by Yūji bellowing out that your brother has been sealed from atop a building.

It makes your chest ache at the news.

“Yeah… S’what I wanted to say,” you pant.

“There’s still hope since we have you here,” Nanami soothes while striding up to you, keeping calm and collected as he typically did.

“There’s just one more problem..”

“And that is?”

“I… I ran into an alpha who’s in a rut,” you explain, leaving out the crucial detail so as to not embarrass yourself. “And he may or may not be coming after me. I didn’t stop to check because Satoru really wanted me out of there,” you continue before gasping, a familiar face appearing in your mind.

“Oh shit! Kento, I just remembered! Suguru— no .. Someone wearing his face is the one behind this.”

Nanami’s eyes widen just a tad and a heavy sigh leaves him. Ino and Megumi both also become alarmed in various degrees.

“That truly is a problem for us all… Here.” The blond alpha rubs his wrist glands against the ones at your neck, dousing you in his comforting scent and slowly muting out yours.

Megumi even comes over and rubs his and your wrists together, not saying a word and not meeting your appreciative stare.

Meanwhile, Yūji is still yodeling.

“Thanks, Gumi. Go ahead and get Yuji,” you tell him softly, ruffling the young alpha’s spiky hair.

The teenager only nods before heading off to get to his friend.

Ino comes over and slings an arm around you for support and to subtly put his own scent on you while Nanami’s nose twitches a few times.

“Your scent should be muted enough, and I’m sure blood and sweat will cover it even more so you should be okay.”

“Thanks, you guys didn’t have to,” you murmur with a weak smile, anxiety still nipping at your heels.

“What did he look like,” asks the blond as you three head up to meet Yuji.

“Dude looks like he’s on death’s doorstep. Like sickly pale looking, dark bags under his eyes, cute spiky space buns, and he’s wearing mostly white and got a purple vest.”

He hums. “Noted. Try to stay with someone if you can.”

You nod. Simple enough but not completely possible.

And as expected you were practically everywhere in Shibuya as the battle ensued, curses swarming the city and people that’s still within the veil being in danger.

You do your best to keep everyone safe, especially the kids, but when the ground underneath you suddenly gets sliced along with a street sign, you throw yourself down the subway where Yūji went not too long ago, slaughtering curses that stood in your way

The underground transit is in complete disarray. Broken glass, walls dented and crumblings, electrical wiring exposed and popping, and blood splattered almost everywhere like it was some art project and the blood is red paint.

Suddenly a wall that connected from the bathroom crumbles away slightly, revealing a bit of pink hair peeking from the other side.

Your feet are already moving, Yūji’s name nearly falling from your lips as dread grips you tight and unforgivingly.

And there’s that smell again, only this time it’s ten times stronger…

Right as you get inside you see the man from before standing over Yūji’s body seemingly about to deliver the killing blow.

Fated person or not, no one was going to hurt the people you care about.

So with your technique you manipulate the water spurting out from the pipes and use it to lock onto the man’s throat, and with an aggravated cry you swing him around and throw him through the wall he made Yuji hit, feeling an immense amount of satisfaction from the pained cry he made.

With him being spat out on the other side seemingly laid out for now and away from Yūji, you rush to cradle the young omega’s bloodied body, fretting over him and trying to figure out how to deal with his shoulder.

You don’t have much to help him and you snap at Sukana to do something, but the bastard for once doesn’t have anything smart to say, the boy still unconscious and bleeding. You pick him up and rush out of the bathroom when a voice stops you in your tracks.

“W-Wait… Please don’t… Don’t go…”

A mixture of anger, stress, and touch of guilt form a cocktail in your gut at his wheezing, panic filled voice.

You hear him dragging his body desperately amongst the rubble to try and get to you.

“You must got a few loose screws in that head of yours,” you spit, turning to look at him.

“N-No, please I—! I had no idea he’s my brother!” he coughs, his pale lips stained with blood.

Your stiffen, your grip on the wounded boy tightening slightly. Either he’s really lost it , or… No, he’s definitely lost it.

“Please I—.”

“ I can’t help you ,” you force out. “Especially when you’re currently the enemy .” And with that, you force your feet to move, leaving him behind.

And Chōsō only watches you with a helpless expression, tears stinging his eyes and a pained noise leaving him as he gives up…

330 notes · View notes

sufferu · 28 days ago

Note

Found your blog, and must say this: I love it! I adore your ideas and aus so, so much. They scratch the itch I have wanted scratched for a while in the re:zero fandom. I wanted some good, delicious Subaru angst and you have delivered the perfect meal :)

If it is possible, may I ask what exactly has pulled Anastasia towards being so protective of Subaru in both No Refunds and Dogshow? Is it mostly because she has concluded Subaru is mentally disabled? Or has the thought that Emilia has failed in every way as a liege to Subaru helping drive her to want to course correct? It seems to have struck a particular chord with her, and it’s one of my favorite elements of these aus. (And if I can be so bold, but if she shares her theories with others, do others believe she may be on the right track?)

Either way, I love your aus and hope you have a grand day!

Thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying it!

The main reason Anastasia is so protective of Subaru is actually pretty simple: her perception of Emilia’s “failure” as a liege lord personally offended her. Anastasia is the kind of character who takes concepts like status and personal responsibility VERY seriously, when it comes to both other people and her own self. Whether Emilia really chose it or not, she IS currently a prospective heir to the kingdom, and as such she has certain responsibilities to those she wishes to rule over, especially when it comes to the people who have already sworn to follow her, and ESPECIALLY when said followers are so few that you could count them on one hand, and also they all live in the same house as her. Anastasia sees this as Emilia both having very important and very easy to fulfill responsibilities that she just watched her completely fall on her ass in front of, and she got OFFENDED by it.

It does not help that Subaru has, honest to god, been trying his best. He’s not the BEST worker, and he’s got a lot of problems, but by god did Emilia stumble upon someone who would be willing to follow her to the ends of the Earth like a dog, and she’s SQUANDERING it. Anastasia is probably looking at all of the things Subaru is doing wrong that first day and thinking of all the ways she could train him out of all of those bad habits before they become a real problem, because it probably wouldn’t even be that hard. He’s so easy to read and predict that it’s almost painful, but that means that developing a strategy to actually address it would probably not be hard at all, especially since Subaru WANTS to please Emilia. From Anastasia’s perspective, it was a combination of Emilia’s failure to train him and failure to prevent him from getting traumatized by HER OWN STAFF that led to a completely avoidable incident at the Royal Selection that her own knight had to step in and save him from, and then Emilia responded by punishing Subaru for doing exactly as he had unknowingly been trained. And no, it does not help that Subaru does genuinely come across to her as someone who probably has a mental disability preventing him from understanding when he’s in a dangerous situation in the first place, OR that Subaru is the kind of naive, kind-hearted idiot who would be ridiculously easy to take advantage of and therefore could really benefit from someone actually looking out for him (which Anastasia firmly believes really should be Emilia’s job).

A lot of characters have opinions about Emilia’s role in this whole situation, but Anastasia is the only one who goes THIS FAR with it. She’s also the only one who thinks the Royal Selection Incident was almost entirely Emilia’s fault, because most of the other characters still do see it as ultimately Subaru’s fault, even if saying that makes them feel uncomfortable because clearly this situation was waaaay more complicated than it initially came off, and so it might have been slightly unreasonable to expect someone like This to react in any other way to that situation. I wanted to have a character reacting to this whole Return By Death situation from the lens of the hierarchical social norms in which Re:Zero takes place, and as someone who is very high status, taking her role VERY seriously, and has a history of impressing the importance of hard work and responsibility onto other characters, Anastasia kind of took up that lens perfectly.

#ds!anastasia #ds!emilia #ds!subaru #now that’s what i call a dogshow #my inbox

36 notes · View notes

choking-on-ice · 21 days ago

Text

exactly 1 person asked, so here's 30 minutes worth of reasons why Silco x Viktor is my Arcane OTP and more people should open themselves to it's glory

and yes, I did format it a little like an oral presentation, what of it

General Compatibility

Both of them have a dry wit and unique outlook on life

People who don't know them well might find them very blasé but in truth they're both very caring and passionate people

Their banter would be top tier, frankly it's hard to picture anyone would be able to match Viktor’s quips as well as Silco could (Jayce understands the jokes and teasing ofc, but I just don't see him being able to bounce back the same energy. Though Mel could probably keep up just as well as Silco, but in a more light hearted way)

Silco wouldn't struggle with pitying or underestimating Viktor for his disability, nor would he ignore it and be all “it doesn't matter, it's what makes you, you” (as a disabled crutch user, ppl pretending ur disability doesn't exist and just expecting you to act able bodied is wayyy more common than people being over the top “worried”)

Viktor would very much be the angel on Silco’s shoulder, while Silco would be a bit of the devil on his

Silco is arguably the angel on other people's shoulders at times, given that he gives ppl who would be in senseless gang wars a real goal and drive towards progress for Zaun

Viktor could be considered the devil on Jayce’s shoulder sometimes, tempting him to push against authority for sake of technological advancement

Silco needs someone who has the mind for tech, strategy, politics, and philosophy at his side, since he's in a position of power with no advisors

Viktor needs someone who values him for his mind, body, and heart, but also his background. He's seen as “one of the good ones” and this never really gets a seat at the table, he needs someone who genuinely trusts in his input that would put his advice to work

They're both men of action, sitting on their hands and twiddling their thumbs doesn't suit them. There wouldn't be a “will they won't they” and the chances of them getting together in the spur of the moment only to realize there are real feelings there much later are pretty high

Similarities

Disabled men from the undercity who are driven by their desire to prevent anyone else from having to suffer the way they have at the hands of a corrupt system (in a non "gotta cure all the poor cripples way" cuz that shit is as uninspired as it is insulting)

Have dedicated their life to improving the living conditions of their people

Very intelligent and clearly brilliant in their professions, despite how different they may be

Both their altruistic goals come to ruin because power, whether they wanted that power or not, blinded and corrupted those goals

Impulsive as hell, Silco in his personal life but Viktor in his personal and professional

Differences

Silco is disillusioned and doesn't see a path to freedom for his people that doesn't involve bloodshed

Viktor is an idealist who might understand the necessity for violence in certain instances but would never seek, encourage, or enact it

Silco is a strategist, and a very good one at that, who uses the genius of others to gain and hold power via technology

Viktor is an inventor, and the most brilliant one we see in their world, who yes pushes boundaries of authority but never seeks power over others (from his perspective, his Messiah era was meant to be a chance at freedom for people who had been denied it, not authority over them)

Viktor is deeply trusting, he doesn't plot or scheme and barely ever lies

Silco trusts very little, we even his moment of doubt that Sevika might kill him that one time, his greatest skill is his ability to scheme and cheat others

Viktor doesn't believe in “the sacrifice of the few to save the many” but would commit the personal sacrifice of those he holds most dear to achieve his dream of helping Zaun and the world

Silco does believe that the death of a hundred to save a thousand is worth it, but he would never allow a personal sacrifice of the person he holds most dear even when it would mean Zaun becoming a free nation

Potential Dynamics

Disappointed Leader and Follower

Silco thinks Viktor is a class traitor, who abandoned his people as soon as the wealthy Pilties showed him an ounce of approval

Viktor thinks Silco is brilliant, and was an eager follower of his when he was younger, but now thinks he's abandoned his goals of freeing Zaun from Piltover and is just replacing the subjection of their people by Pilties with his own.

As they get to know eachother they come to understand better that their goals are the same, the only difference is how the world allowed them the chance to pursue it.

Is this fighting or making out?

Silco likes the power of putting “Piltover’s Brightest” in his place

Viktor is even more stubborn than he is smart, and maybe has a bit of a thing for humiliation

Who's worshipping who?

Silco is in secret awe of enlightened Viktor, but is overwhelmed by the idea of putting his hope and heart in someone else's control

Viktor is putty in the hands of his childhood hero, but can't shake the feeling that even now with the Arcane flowing through him, he isn't strong enough to stay afloat in the storm that is Silco

(Would happen in a version where Silco is revived by Viktor, but in this one the ppl saved by Viktor retain their personalities)

Scenarios / AUs

Early enlightenment Viktor being sought out by Silco who at first is worried about him being a threat, but then seeing the vision Viktor has for Zaun and the things he's capable of deciding he is an asset. Silco providing protectors of their sanctuary, under the guise that he’s “planning how to use Viktor as a pawn” when in reality this commune is the first sign of hope he's seen for Zaun in a long time.

Viktor seeking out shimmer from Silco, because he recognizes the ingenuity behind the drug even if he doesn't approve of it. Silco distrusts him and will only sell to him if he conducts his experiments on it down in the undercity. Viktor starts pulling double duty, working both in Piltover and in Zaun and they become closer and begin to collaborate on the creation and distribution of a new strain of shimmer, not meant to be used as a recreational drug but instead as an affordable, accessible medication for those affected by the toxic fumes from the mines. Viktor is reminded of his roots, and realizes how distant from his culture he's become. Silco is reminded that his dream for Zaun doesn't mean anything if the generation of those he wants to build it for are dead. (Also a great opportunity for some Jayce/Viktor Silco/Viktor love triangle jealousy nonsense hehehe)

Silco succeeds in his negotiations for Zaun freedom before he can become a chembaron, Viktor ends up becoming an ambassador for Zaun. Specifically dealing with education and technology as Zaun would have limited resources, so he is one of the people overseeing the building of the educational system and helping to fix the pollution from the mines with Hextech (he and Jayce would obviously be able to recreate Hextech, but the existence of a free Zaun means that the property of it is shared by both nations)

Viktor loses his benefactor when they discover something from his past that the Pilties deem “unfit of an Academy member” and must return to the fissures, this time as the right hand man of Silco who would never be stupid enough to let his talents go to waste.

Silco replaces Sky as Viktor's astral guide (because let's be real Sky was just thrown in there bc Arcane was queerbaiting the fuck outta Jayce and Viktor for some reason so they needed a random woman who had barely ever spoken on screen before) and their astral conversations go a little differently

Honourable mentions to: Viktor doing that shimmer painting stuff for Silco or vice versa, Speakeasy AU where there's a Zaunite run speakeasy topside that both Viktor and Silco frequent, Altered Timeline AU where Viktor seeks Silco out just before he becomes a chembaron to bring him to the Council as a temp member while they consider his proposition for Zaun's independance, Viktor must form an allyship with Silco so he can work on reducing the toxic gases in the fissures without being arrested by enforcers as he's going against council orders, or being killed by the other chembaron who runs that section of the city, Viktor joins the Firelights after Jayce threatens war on Zaun and begins brokering deals with other smaller gangs until Silco hears word and is interested in forming an alliance.

I hope you enjoyed this ted talk, please feel free to share with your friends and to tag me in any fanart / fanfics you see out there because I'm rabid for these fellas

thank you @orionchildofhades for the opportunity to go apeshit on main about these two

And big shout out to @blueberrymffn who's fanfiction The Things We Do For Progress got me hooked on this ship

34 notes · View notes

ahotknife · 2 months ago

Note

declan clearly knows but keeps his thoughts on specifically ONLY this topic to himself for some reason (another thing i’ll have to digress about because Come On…) — would love to hear you digress about it bc I also see it. When I did my huge TRC/TD3 reread this year, that part in the dream thieves where Ronan throws his leg over Adam’s in the car and Declan has that facial reaction actually made me stop and think. When I had first read it centuries ago, I had always figured it had to do with the dreaming and that opinion was enforced by Declan’s POV in his CDTH chapters. However, the CDTH chapters also gave me new perspective about how it’s possible Declan could always Tell that it would be Adam for Ronan. In a way they are introduced as a unit (Declan and Adam being on the phone at the beginning of TRB vs when Gansey needs a battery and Ronan doesn’t want ANYWHERE near that conversation plus the goldmine of Adam’s first pov in TRB at Monmouth). Wrt dream thieves, despite their differences at this time in the series, siblings know siblings and I feel like he definitely was able to tell that Ronan had something more than platonic feelings for Adam. Maybe before Ronan even knew himself. He’s super distrusting of Adam from the beginning till CDTH (given we ignore the events of MI and GW). Even when it’s mentioned that Adam is every bit in love with Ronan as Ronan is with him and Declan can SEE it with his own eyes. This could also be talked about with Kavinsky but my hands will fall off if I type any more rn.

I don’t even know if this makes any sense bc i’ve been driving for like 5 hours straight today and I’m about to pass the fuck out but I just love hearing peoples opinions on this. Also at one point my phone tried to correct Dec to Sex so i think that’s a sign to write that Decladam no love you were teasing.

obsessed with your brain ty for asking. this is probably just going to be me pontificating about declan and adam but we’ll get there eventually

re: the scene with ronan’s leg in the car, i think declan’s reaction somewhat actually kind of IS because of the dreaming… declan mentions in CDTH that he considers adam a liability, he doesn’t like that adam knows family secrets/business, he knows adam lords so much power over his brother that he could either manipulate or destroy him (we know adam won’t, but declan’s brain is broken and he assumes everyone will leave in a spectacular, devastating manner). declan was, essentially, very badly treated by niall (argue with the wall, nothing declan experienced as a child was normal or correct) and is so genuinely terrified of anyone knowing what ronan is or what ronan can do that he would rather lock ronan up rapunzel style than encourage ronan to form bonds or build trust or share secrets with any other living person outside of the lynch family web/sphere. i think he also really dislikes adam for other more simple, real-world reasons: he thinks adam is trailer trash, he thinks ronan should/could do better, he recognizes that adam is keeping big secrets of his own and just doesn’t care to clean up his mess after he breaks ronan’s heart.

adam and declan are extremely similar, purposefully, in a way that is impossible to ignore. in the way that jordan and ronan are paralleled, adam and declan are constantly drawn in comparison to each other. self recognition through the other, and you hate what you see. adam also understands declan, even though he strongly dislikes him and this sometimes taints his judgement/perception; he wants to be declan, he wants to eat declan, he wants to wear declan’s skin and fuck declan’s girlfriend and possess whatever money/power/influence/confidence that declan has. in TD3 we see declan turning to adam for advice, because adam has become an expert in a field declan cannot master: ronan. adam also understands and enjoys something declan has never bothered to indulge himself with: magic. adam fills the dominant role in his relationship with ronan, and he does the same for declan, sometimes, too: in TRC he is shown running point between ronan and declan and enforcing ronan’s boundaries for him because declan refuses to recognize ronan’s limits; in TD3 adam is often the bearer of bad news and the voice of reason, much to declan’s chagrin. adam’s also a foil for mor, but that’s got nothing to do with the fact i think declan’s a little homophobic and a little bitchy and a little classist.

i think declan keeps his mouth shut about ronan’s sexuality for a few reasons. 1 being that it didn’t serve his character for maggie to make him outright hateful, but she did give us little glimpses into his distaste for it. 2 being that he’s got so many other things to hate ronan for or to argue with ronan about it would be fruitless to be like “and you’re gay now, too?” 3 since ronan was born (made? manifested?), declan has been trying to keep him alive. in TRC he needs ronan to listen to him, because he’s trying to keep ronan safe, and if he starts picking on ronan for things other than being an alcoholic suicidal failure then he might as well just start sizing coffins: ronan COULD show up to class, ronan COULD behave better, ronan COULD follow the law, ronan can NOT stop himself from being gay, and he can NOT stop himself from dreaming. i THINK (and i may be wrong) declan only really tags on ronan for things ronan could change, or things that would put him in danger. that said, i think it’s kind of unrealistic that he doesn’t pick on ronan for this, and he might “offscreen”: a third party observes that declan looks displeased by ronan’s physical proximity to a boy he knows he likes; but i think declan also interprets any sort of intimacy or closeness as a type of danger or threat. his brain is a bag of cats. by wanting someone, by trusting someone, ronan puts himself in danger. declan thinks of women as disposable (he does, he sucks, sorry about it) because the woman who raised him was a facsimile of a person, designed to obey, and she was unable to nurture or fulfill declan emotionally. my theory is that if ronan had a woman, declan assumes ronan would treat her the way declan treats his women: like an accessory. ronan, though, is a different animal, and i think during the series we see declan come to terms with this, even if he really dislikes it at first and thinks ronan is stupid for letting adam in when adam clearly has his own thing going on.

i also think ronan and declan do genuinely dislike each other. throughout TRC they genuinely hate each other and do not get along at all. they love each other, but that is not enough, most of the time. declan would hate anything ronan did. ronan makes fun of declan for his sexuality, because he finds it overt and distasteful. we aren’t explicitly shown in canon that this is a two way street, but listen… it’s definitely an argument they had. it just wasn’t shown because it didn’t serve the larger narrative, which is fine. there ain’t no way declan’s not a tiny reaganite, there ain’t no way he doesn’t have his thoughts and opinions. these are rich white boys from virginia in the early 2010s, for christ sake. but it’s also sort of a case of “oh i don’t hate my brother because he’s gay, i hate my brother for a dozen other reasons. he just also happens to be gay” <- guy who would definitely prefer it if his brother would just find a nice girl to settle down with and subsequently ignore just like their daddy did to their pseudomommy

i don’t even know if this answered your question. i just started thinking about declan and then i blacked out. did we learn something? did we solve the riddle? who knows. i have to stop because this is insanely long. the decladam fic is at 3k btw so we’ll see if i ever finish it

#also who are you? lmao #lucinda.txt #trc meta

29 notes · View notes

batmanisagatewaydrug · 8 months ago

Note

i was sitting next to this guy while hanging out with some friends, and he was always a little flirty, and i never responded to it but i've stayed friendly ya know? this time he put his hand on my thigh, and i just kind of brushed him off and moved away and everything was fine. Now tho, everyone around me is acting like this is a huge deal and he shouldn't have done it and like,,, i get it, but also he wasn't aggressive and he backed off right away so i don't think it was a big deal at all 1/3

now tho my friends want me or themselves to confront him about it and i'm just so ??? because genuinely it was such a small thing to me and it feels like people around me want me to make it into a big deal for themselves more than to stand up for me since i don't think this needs to become A Thing at all, especially for a dude i've met twice and will probably rarely ever see in my life. idk how to get them to back off because it feels like they're not listening to me or don't believe me 2/3 but to put it in perspective i've been more uncomfortable in the past with men putting their hands on my shoulder/arm when trying to pass by in a crowded space than this guy trying to flirt and backing off the second i moved away. any advice on getting my friends to chill? 3/3

hi anon,

this is an interesting one. do you think your friends would recognize the irony if you pointed out that it sounds like they're being far more pushy and dismissive of your boundaries than the man who they want you to stage a confrontation with?

it's noble of your friends to want to look out for you, of course, but supporting people who we perceive as the recipients of inappropriate behavior means listening to them when they express what they actually need to feel supported. in your case, it's letting the entire thing go because this barely even registers as an issue.

I have to say that I'm incredibly inclined to agree with you here; while this lad may have been a bit forward in putting his hand on you, it sounds like his reaction - dropping it and backing off - was exactly what you were hoping for. human interactions are always going to have messy little edges where we bump up against each other and the signals don't quite line up; that's not a crime. what matters is how people react when they're given a No. by your account, this lad took it like a champ, understanding your no and backing off accordingly.

if that's good enough for you then I think it's really overbearing and, as you alluded to, a little self-serving of your friends to keep trying to pursue this and lambast a guy for a completely reasonable interaction. what exactly are they hoping to accomplish? do they want him to make an elaborate written apology to you, a thing that you've made very clear you don't want? do they want him to promise never to touch someone without explicit verbal permission again, a fairly ludicrous amount of control to demand over someone else's behavior? like. what is the end goal, gamers? what are we actually trying to accomplish? are some of your friends perhaps reacting to this based on their own past experiences? that's understandable, of course, but inappropriate when they're ignoring your own expressed desires in favor of their ideas about what they think you should want.

listen: you can't control your friends' thoughts, but you can ask them to shut the fuck up. if you haven't already, I would recommend sending out some kind of mass statement (there's a groupchat, right? this feels like a groupchat situation, which I say as a terminal group chatter) telling everyone that you, personally, are done talking about this and don't want to hear any more about it, and if anyone wants to confront thigh guy about it then they're at liberty to do that but they'd better make very clear that they're not doing so at your request or with your permission.

if you're feeling extra cunty you can top that off with a little "please respect that, since you all say you're so worried about my boundaries" but that may be a little much.

#sex edventures 2024

109 notes · View notes

genderqueerdykes · 2 months ago

Note

Heyyy so I've very much travelled across several different corners of the queer interwebs and along the way I've seen a lot of different perspectives on controversial topics that have helped me form my own opinions, but theres always been one I never really understood. Is "femboy" offensive?? Like, I've heard from, unfortunately, anyone except trans women that it's offensive to use because of the way it's used against trans woman to misgender them, but I've also heard from a lot of people that people who say that are just chronically online.

It's just bothered me because as a trans guy (one that often gets mistaken to be a trans girl by strangers, might I add) I've been on the end of people using a femboy as an insult by people who know I'm a trans guy and people who thought I was a trans girl and honestly upon further consideration..they're not wrong and I'm perfectly okay with that, but I don't know if it would be a problem to call myself a femboy so I guess I'm just looking for a second opinion. I've heard "rosboy" as an alternative but I think I'd rather punch a wall bare handed than call myself a rosboy, just doesn't feel right.

Sorry if this ask is too rambly or somehow rude :[

i've gotten a few questions about this that i haven't answered due to how divisive people are on this one, but i figured it's probably time to give some feedback on this one since people are. extremely heated about this term. and it's not the hill to die on.

i felt like i didn't have a right to talk about this for a while, but as a transfeminine & transmasculine intersex person, i really need people to understand that queer labels, especially slurs, are way more complicated than that. now i feel like i DO have the right to speak about this, because i actually ended up having to stop being friends with a few people, and even leave my own queer discord server because of this very conversation topic.

believe it or not, this is one of the things that made me fed up with my old server. i was, at the time, friends with someone who kept pushing this narrative and would not stop to listen to anyone who pointed out that this term affects multiple groups of people. at the time, i forced myself to agree with them because they were so adamant, but as time passed i realized it was a bullshit take that was negatively impacting our server members. it is an extremely chronically online take, i agree with you. this mentality was cooked up by people who spend way too much time behind a screen theorizing about hypothetical offended trans people that don't exist.

femboy is an insult and slur that does heavily target trans women, but that does not mean its the only people it's used against. much like how queers other than just gay men qualify as fags in queerphobes' minds, there are many people that they are willing to call effeminate cis men, trans men, intersex people, genderqueer people, and so on femboys. i unfortunately used to hang out with 4channers and i have seen it used to misgender trans women a lot, but i also saw it being used to misgender cis men and trans men, as well. the amount of trans men i was seeing misgendered by this term was 1:1 with the amount of trans women being targeted by it.

it's a strawman argument. who are these hypothetical trans women they're talking about, here? where are they? i'm transfem, and the wild thing to me is, i have a lot of IRL transfem friends and i have never, once, in my life, had the "only transfems can use femboy if anyone else uses it they're transmisogynstic" conversation... ever. like i've literally even had my irl transfem friends ask ME why people are so fucked up over the term femboy. like. my other transfem friends have come to me to ask why people are so riled up over trans men and other queer people using femboy. the very people that folks think are super pissed off have asked me "wait, since when was this a big deal?" of course there will be transfems who believe the term should only be reclaimed by transfems, and i see the logic- but it only makes sense in a vacuum. in practice, the use of the slur is much more varied and complicated.

the thing people don't seem to realize is that someone throwing around a slur does not know how the other person they're targeting identifies. they're not going to sit there and go "oh you're a trans man so i can't call you a femboy. i guess i need to come up with a new insult" like. that is not how slurs work. and i just kinda find it bullshit that for some reason, this one term is special, whereas every other queer slur (save for intersex slurs) can be reclaimed by people of other identities if they're targeted by it. like, for example, butch lesbians, especially butch4butch couples get called fags all the time, and are allowed to reclaim that. why the hell is this one special?

i honestly hate that people forced transmascs to come up with an entirely different word (rosboy) in order to express the basically the exact same identity. honestly all this smacks of is people wanting to shit on trans men and transmascs and police our language. like. the friend i had to part ways with was. really fucking transandrophobic. i actually ended up hating myself for being a trans man for quite a while and tried to stop identifying as one because this person was just. so fucking shitty and rude to the transmascs in our lives, and in the discord server i used to be in. this basically just boils down to people wanting to shit on trans men and finding every excuse to do so. this take was born from people who scrutinize every single little thing trans men do in order to demonize us.

like i do NOT see people getting mad about the idea of an effeminate gay man using femboy... but they always target trans men and tell us we can't use it. why are trans men the ONLY people who are excluded, here? hmm. smells like transandrophobia to me

anyway, you're free to use the term. you shouldn't have to settle for an alternative that feels wrong and doesn't suit you, especially if you've literally been targeted by this slur to misgender you. as a transfeminine person, myself, i don't give a fuck, it's not going to hurt me if you want to reclaim something that you have been targeted by. like. if this is something that you have personally dealt with, you shouldn't have to pretend it didn't happen because some chronically online people decided they make up the rules of the queer community.

this will never be a hill to die on. it's dumb as fuck. it's made up bullshit internet drama that doesn't ever come up outside of internet discourse.

#asks #answers #femboy

31 notes · View notes

hyperblue · 5 months ago

Note

Everyday I scroll through your blog just to remember what happiness is.

Also, I did have an actual question or request(?) I suppose, I want, NEED more details about your specific AU with Wendy and Jackie, what fo they enjoy? How often do they fight with their fathers? What do they grow up to be??? You've said before that Jack is scared of his powers, so does this result in him going out and having a 'normal' life? How would that affect his relationships with his family?

Of course you don't have to answer but I am very curious!

hello there!! I'm so glad to hear that you're enjoying my blog, thank you for your kind words 💙

and yes i will gladly answer your questions! this will probably get a bit long, i hope that's okay with you

au's mainly focused on twins when they are around 17-18 (kind of symbolic to tim's age when he cloned them because I'm prosy like that)

one of the main reasons why I've decided to go for twins in this au (aside from being indecisive about whether it should be a boy or a girl) is because it gives me a chance to demonstrate how two people can have same upbringing/surrounding and be influenced by the very same group of people AND still form entirely different perspectives and opinions on certain things. i'm going to use both kids' relationships with kon as one of the clearest examples:

wendy appreciates kon dearly, she thinks very high of him and constantly seeks for his company and attention. on the other hand, as she gets older, it becomes really awkward for her to be around him because she's old enough now to actually understand and pear wiggle the whole "my dad cloned me out of this dead dude's dna without his consent" thing in her head, until she has to stop for a moment and go: "wow. that was So Not Okay of my dad." on top of that she's facing a major identity crisis because you know, teens, and starts to question her own existence and even tim's love for her, because she can't be sure now if he actually loves her or if she's just a good enough replacement of what her dad could have loved, but never got an actual chance. which eventually leads to her bottling up lots of anger towards tim, because obviously it's his fault that she can't look kon in the eyes anymore, and none of this would've happened if he just had his shit together and didn't try to clone kon all those years ago (and she's not even entirely wrong)

what she CAN'T fathom just yet is the fact that she loves kon so much partly because she got to see him through tim's eyes; part of her affection for kon is deeply rooted in a way tim spoke about him when she was a kid, always loving, always in awe — essentially, tim was the first person who taught wendy the concept and the feeling of love. and even her awkwardness and guilt that she's experiencing around kon are inherited from tim; she's just mirroring her dad's own feelings about himself without even realizing it

jackie, on the other hand... it would be easy to say that he's just not as close with kon as his sister, but when you start to look at the reasons, well, it gets a little bit messy. you see, jackie was always a "daddy's boy"; he and tim were inseparable when jackie was a kid, they still are, actually, it's just that tim only now starts to realize negative side effects of their closeness but that's for another post. not only that, he's also much more... observant than wendy in a lot of ways, so while wendy was soaking in tim's affection for kon as a sponge to eventually make it her own, jackie couldn't help but notice how hard it was for his dad to have kon in his life only as a co-parent and nothing more (they've bended their friendship as years went by, but it was never easy for both of them); not to mention that tim, to this day, experiences a very severe depressive episodes, to the point of not being able to get out of bed — jackie was very affected by it too growing up. so to him, as of now, it doesn't make sense for kon to stick around and be his usual "weekend dad" if he's not willing to stay forever, and he's kind of resentful towards kon, because he always felt sorry for tim in this situation. not that he doesn't understand why exactly it's the way that it is, it's just that his philosophy on that matter is: if you can't stay forever, do not bother visiting us at all, and stop giving dad any hope for more. jackie's anxiety regarding his kryptonian powers also does not help at all, more on that later

(got carried away with this, sorry, i just had to take this opportunity to explain why there are twins in my timkon clone baby au)

so about the kids, wendy is a rebellious soul and free spirit, and her interests really show that about her — she's been horse riding since she was five, tim was a bit hesitant about it at first, but with damian's help they managed to convince him that everything is going to be okay; damian has also bought wendy her own horse, the one she's connected with in her equestrian club (damian is her favorite uncle ever since; she did not let him call her horse a "Bathourse", tho). aside from that she plays guitar just a little, tim's also tried to teach her piano but ended up failing miserably; he also wasn't able to pass on to her his music taste, wendy is almost strictly a pop girl. she's not really good at photography from professional point of view, but she almost always has her little digital camera with her to take snapshots of memories

(she's also really into true crime videos/podcasts, it's one of the activities that she likes to share with her dad; most times after a fight with tim, if she wants to make up or apologize, she just sneaks into his office and starts playing random true crime youtube video at full volume)

jackie doesn't really have a "main" interest or hobby, even though he's passionate about a lot of things, some of them include: art (because damian), sports (although he's not playing himself), cars (because tim), photography (once again, tim), also I'm pretty sure he's good at math — a little bit of this, a little bit of that, as he himself would say. it could create a major problem for him to choose between college programs if he hadn't already decided that he is going to inherit drake industries, so business it is. tim actually had a whole conversation with him, like, "are you SURE that's what you want," resulting in jackie just. shrugging his shoulders, because it's just about as good as any other choice; not that he has some big, special dream anyway. also i think that he probably skipped a class (wendy did not; she's not too excited about going to college)

speaking about jackie being scared of his powers, it's most likely the result of an accident/series of accidents from his childhood when he unwillingly hurt tim or demolished something during tantrums (he used to throw them a lot when he was younger); kon has offered his help at figuring out how to control it, of course, but if for wendy it was existing and she wanted to get even stronger and make more progress, for jackie it was always about keeping it at bay so to not hurt anyone else. he never really wanted to become a vigilante either, which is good enough for tim because he's worried enough about wendy rushing to the field; he's as close at being a civilian as you can possibly get while growing up with bats and having a kryptonian dad. mostly it's a relief for his family ("at least one of us is going to graduate college"), although wendy can't stop bugging him about joining in and being the coolest vigilante twins gotham has ever seen. it's a bit isolating for him, sure, considering that everyone in his family is a superhero of some sort, but with tim mostly being a stay at home dad and only managing comms every once in a while it turned out better than it could

it DID get long, and i start to lose the train of thoughts; nevertheless, i hope you'll enjoy this answer 💙 feel free to ask more about them, I'm always up to chatting about my babies

#dc #dc comics #timkon clone baby au #timkon clone baby #timkon #tim drake #red robin #kon el #superboy #conner kent #wendy drake #jackson drake #thank you so much for this ask #it caught me at a very stressful time and actually managed to bring smile on my face. love you #also so sorry about the delay #job is kicking my ass

39 notes · View notes

fumifooms · 1 year ago

Note

Hi hi! I'm sure you have loads of asks to get through. But if you may, we talk a lot about Chilchuck and Marcille (as we should 'cause they're great!), but since you've mentioned that Laios is your fave char, I would love to hear if you have any takes on Laios and Izutsumi's dynamic. I feel sometimes like she doesn't really like him...? It's funny but I also feel bad for him sometimes. ^^;;

You can’t ask me this and expect me to not drop everything else I’m doing. Little did you know they are my brotp. They are so special. Izutsumi gets along more with literally everyone in the party, but their relationship was so narratively important. They’re a really underrated and overlooked dynamic! I’ve had them as a topic at the back of my mind for a while, seeing someone else interested was all the push I needed gdbdg. This isn’t super long though, their issues with each other and lil arc is surprisingly brief and easy to summarize.

Laios & Izutsumi : what’s their deal with each other

For me one foundational train of thought for Izutsumi & Laios is, well. I read this awesome smart post deconstructing how Izutsumi’s beef with Laios is because she only just broke free and wants freedom without having someone ordering her around, and that’s sort of her whole character arc, isn’t it?

Isn’t Izutsumi’s picky eating a reflection of just that? In a life where she was a slave, she could at least control what she chose to eat and not eat. But then you might wonder, why did the narrative want her to grow out of that? Simply put, Izutsumi has a contrarian streak, one that is often extremely counterproductive. We saw that especially near the beginning, with how hard it was to make her work with them as a team. The issue is that now that she is free, she needs to not block out others by habit, to not lash out and refuse the healthy things in life, the people who want good for her. And that’s something that’s addressed in the succubus chapter as well as the fight against the ice golem, that she shouldn’t insist that she can do everything alone and fight against any team effort.

I love how onesided the Laios izutsumi dynamic is. He stays away from her generally, like doesn’t interact much, but he wants the cat pats… Which Izu made clear she did NOT want. And Chil is the only one in the party to not really see her as a cat for most of the story really, as shown in the relationship chart. He’s well meaning and wants the best for her, but he crowds her and doesn’t understand her at all. But he reallyyy wants to get along with her.

On the other hand, Izutsumi’s very existence and identity gave Laios an immense amount of hope that Falin could be brought back and still be herself and live well, even if she still had part of a dragon’s soul in her. I think that’s a lovely way to contrast the way that Izutsumi hates herself as a beastkin and her body, while Laios is like "Thank you, your existence as you are is the answer to all my worries" AND he super likes monster bodies and beastkins so it’s like. I think part of her hostility to him, besides feeling like he doesn’t understand her perspective and is maybe dismissive of what his party members want (which would remind her of Maizuru to some degree probably), is that he says all these good things about her being a beastkin, and it’s so jarring with her own version of herself that it raises her hackles and she reacts negatively, especially with how flippant and eager he is about it. But yes like, this is their first meeting!! Beyond his interest in her as a beastkin because of his monster hobby, Laios is just so very grateful for her and chooses to put his trust in her.

That’s interesting too, how one of the first things she asks about upon meeting them is why the hell they would want to rescue Falin even if she were to stay as a chimera-beastkin and still have the dragon soul in her. It’s her asking "Who would want to stick with a beastkin?" thinking that there’s something fundamentally wrong with having two souls and it making you unlovable. And their differing views on monsters do make them clash

But ultimately he chills out about her, which ironically enough shows in the way that they don’t interact much- He gives her space, and accepts that the beastkin may not like him. BUT at the end of the day they have an incredible bond of trust- Laios asks Izutsumi to kill him if something goes wrong with the Winged Lion. Not only is that sort of an intimate request and act, but that means that he leaves it up to Izutsumi’s judgement as well to know if it went wrong and when to act. He doesn’t only trust her skills but also her decision making, despite how tough they’ve been on each other in the past. He’s giving her the ultimate role, the go ahead to make or break their plan and be the difference between saving or destroying the world. And the last tidbit of info we get on their relationship in canon is when she hides behind him because she’s shy- Certified having befriended the cat moment. She trusts him and sees him as a safe person! And by saying that she’s shy, he’s showing that he did end up understanding her and how she is.

No matter the rocky parts of their relationship, they still have a strong foundation to it and were great allies and road companions, one of the few persons that had each other’s back when it mattered the most, both for the world and for their personal arcs. And post-canon, well…

He’s accepted that she needs space and whatnot, and meanwhile she’s accepted his interest in monsters and taken it in stride 😌 They end up having this familiarity with each other and even if there’s still a bunch of emotional distance imo and they never really got into the nitty gritty with each other not like her with Chilchuck or even Marcille, they see each other. They nod in greeting and respect each other from afar……. But also still tease and chat familiarly up close and if she offers him the opportunity for cuddles he will take it. You know, if it’s not her just falling onto him because she’s sleeping she has no respect.

Siblings behavior… If you know my take on the general party dynamics, I love thinking of Laios & Izu’s dynamic as him being an older brother figure where they have a love-hate relationship. Siblings rivalry. I have a bunch of funny little doodles I’ve wanted to make with them for months, the prompts for which are in the screenshot put below. But yeah like you know, they’re protective of each other but in that very critical way as well, truly forged by being stuck with each other for a while and having to come to understand and accept how the other is. Strife with conflict, but ultimately sticking with each other through thick and thin… Siblings siblings SIBLINGS SIBLINGS SIBLINGS. Sigh I just want them to cuddle on a couch and she purrs while simultaneously being snide and mean to him, they are so… Izutsumi is the character ever

Oh, which! While I’m here, I always recommend this fanfic about the two of them interacting and Laios treating her like a cat, it’s just fun and lighthearted. They’re suuuuch an underrated duo

If I find more Laios & Izu moments I think are worth sharing I’ll just add it onto this I think. We shouldn’t be too hard on him he was raised by dogs so cats are a whole other language to him but also, so wild to me that he never tried to engage with her on a cat level properly like where is the hissing at the catgirl and the cat taming moments, he sucks at socializing with cats smh smh.

I want to do an analysis of queerness in Dungeon Meshi with relationships and social norms and stuff and Izutsumi’s arc is gonna be central to that too. Her relationship with EVERYONE is SOOO GOOD AND IMPORTANT AND COMPELLING. But I guess this is where I leave it off for now, I hope I’m not forgetting any point I wanted to make hmmm

#Dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #izutsumi #laios touden #laizu brotp #Analysis #relationship analysis #Idk idk. Scene analysis #arc analysis #Fumi rambles #This is my brother and this is my sister! We are siblings and we care for each other!#What’s that? We have a younger sister. You thought we were two but there is another. Come on Izu snap out of that trance it’s time to do #THE SIBLINGS DANCE #Ask #Falin & Izutsumi would be so good too actually #That “you can trust your sibling to kill you if needed” thing where it’s even more relevant bc of Laios and faligon GGDBDKDB #Killing someone for their own good is siblings coded in dunmeshi real?? /j

119 notes · View notes