#IM SCREAMING WITH FEELINGS RIGHT NOW
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@scndbrn
“Come back. Come back to me.” ATONEMENT (2007)
#{ my darling you will never be unloved by me } : abrogail x aemond (scndbrn)#IM SCREAMING WITH FEELINGS RIGHT NOW
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#i just ruined my own night with this#i was actually feeling slightly better and now im crying again JKHKJEHRGEHRGRG#solavellan#solas#veilguard spoilers#da:v spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers#mine.txt#YOU ARE RIGHT HE DOES SEEM SO WISE AND KIND AND SAD AND HE DOES LOOK AT YOU LIKE YOU MATTER MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE AROUND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im literally that amy adams screaming into a pillowcase gif right now
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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knight hob knight hob knight hob
#anyway IM BACK FROM THE DEAD...for now#ill be back in my grave soon no doubt#but for now i bring you knight hob#with some angst#..angst that leads nowhere cause i made those lines up#idk i like to think this is his breaking moment or something#like a whole 'dont ask me to be yours when you wont be mine' type of deal#love a feelings reveal#'surely you know by now...no no i refuse you would be that cruel'#'to ask that of me - to be. to be /yours/...gasp scream cry heave idk'#you get the gist right#'it would burn me up inside' and all that jazz#dont ask that of me because i want everything#ANYWAY#love me some knight hob#also sorry for being away :/#but#back to the art#KNIGHT HOB#dreamling#sandman#i would write more tags but im so late i need to go
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*visibly shaking* guys hey guys can you tell I finally watched dragons rising
#nearly a year overdue BUT I HAVE ACCEPTED THAT CHANGE IS NECCESARY AND A PART OF LIFE#i just finished the final episode and omg#i've missed this so much#WE'RE SO BACK#IM FEELING SO MANY THING RIGHT NOW#I NEED TO SCREAM INTO THE VOID#I NEED TO RANT ABOUT THIS TO SOMEONE RIGHT NOW#ninjago#dragons rising#ninjago dragons rising
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congratulations to Mme. Pascale Leclerc, who has surely just experienced both the funniest and most unhinged weekend a mother could ever have. Dear fucking christ, I hope your middlest son brought you a bottle of champagne for yourself, ma'am.
#kazoo noises#charles leclerc#cl16#monaco gp 2024#zoomies posting#sports posting#like man. where to begin. one of your racecar children is back in town for the weekend. he has yet to have a truly good work#weekend it seems in town. now this year. we're feeling ourselves a bit. we're feeling optimistic even. and then ur son becomes talk of town#because he keeps doing fucking bits on twitter about adopting his coworker who is friends with your youngest son. this goes on long enough#for actual reporters to comment on it. no one is willing to blink first so by friday night we've yes-anded ourselves to a grandson#(congratulations mme leclerc)#things go well. and then at qualifying they go DAMN WELL#BETTER THAN EVER REALLY! but man. im superstitious. i dont trust shit until its over and the dust has cleared#(the adoption jokes have continued by the way) and MEANWHILE everyone is eyeing that starting grid. were humming. we're making vague hand#gestures when commenting. we're all thinking. Maybe? (the streets can hear u tho. keep it down)#race starts. lap one CHAOS. so many fucking crashes. i'd faint if i had a child even in karting honestly.#(every parent in this sport deserves a prescription for laudanum)#but he's not in it. hes at the front. and he. well. he just Stays There. Through It All. and the laps tick down. until the race is run. and#there he is. your middlest son. cross the line and into the books. first place. home town. what curse indeed. thats your boy!!!!!!!! THERE!#they play the radio of him winning and the audio is peaked because he screams out so loudly. you can hear the water in the laughter.#later theres gonna be videos and photos taken of him pushing his boss into the harbor and diving right in after the man. those photos are#gonna be fucking studied in photography classes one day. and STILL! everyone involved with that goofy joke about him adopting his coworker#(who. despite all the silliness of the race stayed second place and got a podium) is still carrying the bit like a baton relay. Do you have#him over for family dinner? might as well add a plate i guess! people are joking about your youngest son having two nephews? a dog born#maybe a month ago and a man born about... what twenty three years and about a month ago? fuck it! family dinner#sorry this bit got away from me but as someone who loves my homecity and my mom so much it might actually be like.#a visible growth inside my body if they do an autopsy on me at time of death or like. my love will eat me alive. sometimes the charratives#gets to me#anyway cheers mme leclerc i hope you party so fucking hard this week
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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Popping in to say welcome to the torture labyrinth. Fucking AGAIN.
#sprout screaming#i have so much i want to say about this#but mostly I'll just be screaming all day#i feel like i just got out of menty b land and now im going right back#i hate this so goddamn much
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The past couple days online have been... interesting. I consider myself a leftist, think capitalism is corrupt, and think that it needs to be seriously reformed/overthrown. I admit that while I've thrown around phrases and terms like "burn it all down" and "the revolution needs to come" out of frustration without actually thinking about what a revolution entails: excellent organization, unity, and strategy to defeat the United States, the world's largest military superpower which has inflicted political and social destabilization across the majority of countries around the world. There also needs to be superb infrastructure and community to support the disabled, elderly, and poor populations who rely on government assistance and programs, healthcare, and accommodations while this so-called revolution rages on.
All I've received from the far leftist movement are lectures from condescending intellectuals who rattle off academic citations regarding ideological theory rather than practical, tangible steps to advocate for change in our local and regional communities. I have not seen one of them actually discuss conversations they've had with their friends, family, or Americans about what they want to see reflected for the future of the country. I have not seen one of them discussed how destructive, detrimental and traumatic a Trump presidency was for social prejudice and morale in the United States. I understand that for many marginalized groups they've been living in a facist state for centuries so the possibility Project 2025 doesn't galvanize them to see the two parties differently, but I don't think it is fair to white leftists falsely equivocate the election of both parties for the entire American population at all??? Or like at least specify the issues you're referring to in which you view both parties as the same????? Literally one TikTok creator who I used to follow talked about how true leftists are so much better than liberals because they aren't waiting for a presidential candidate to save the world NOW due to the accelerated apocalypse due to climate change but when asked how to change the world they suggest sharing ideas of your future utopia with other leftist groups. How the fuck is sitting around talking about living in a walkable community is great considered "saving the world now"? How are you going to dismantle and restructure American infrastructure to create these communities? How are you going to remove existing racial and social tensions to create a community where everyone lives happily side by side? Do people not consider reality at all?????
And is it not wrong for people to have a fucking sliver of optimism and hope at incremental change that's achieved within the corrupt bipartisan system of American politics, even if they know it's propaganda??? Is it wrong for people to have a singular fucking moment of relief in feeling like their values, beliefs, and lives will be better protected and THEY can advocate for change better??? Is it wrong when there's a couple months until the most pressing election in recent history for people to make the choice they feel will reduce the most amount of harm???
#literally i've seen some leftists post like the people in the us could never handle the torture that the us inflicts in other countries#like seriously what the actual fuck do you not think most people are struggling here and dying of preventable diseases and being subjected#to hate crimes mental health crisis systemic racism sexism etc.#why the fuck arent you actually helping your community and helping them see how foreign and domestic policy are tied instead of screaming#like so much of this virtue signaling and not being grounded in reality drives me crazy#and im fucking tired of not being allowed to feel happiness about anything unless it's morally socially perfect how the fuck are we suppose#to move the needle if we never fucking feel happy????? like what after your disorganized revolution the way your room is disorganized i can#be happy that i live in a perfect utopia?? NO! that's not how the fucking world works get a grip#i never believed in working within the system but at least other more reasonable leftists have offered tangible solutions to sway politicia#in our favor and retain a little bit of our rights#like this one woman was saying union organizers align themselves with democrats strategically not because they agree with the party but#so that democrats will count on their vote and money and in turn advocate for union rights#like i feel like a far leftist would be like omg how dare you align with the democrats!!! but like honey!!! what the fuck are we supposed t#do??? stick our fucking nose up at the current political system unless we get everything we want to move the party further to the right and#then wake up one day and realize because we were waiting for a perfect system all our fucking rights are gone?????#bffr#i know i am going to lose all of my followers for this post#grace rants#politics#donald trump#kamala harris#joe biden#jd vance#project 2025#2024 elections#also to be clear this is what i feel right now because of the delayed discussion of far-leftism and options and campaigning for candidates#if leftists actually get together and UNIFY and fucking do something i'll consider inching forward to the revolution#but screaming the system is corrupt without giving people solutions or action steps and just giving them severe anxiety is unhelpful
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agh agh okay … i know I’m supposed to be on a break (and I have been! And enjoying it at that) but this little moment !!!!! I needed somewhere to scream about it quick because !!!!!!!!!! Do !!!! You see!!!!!! Dorothy’s face !!!!!!!!!!!
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN.#she just. like melted? *completely melted*???? oh boy.#I’ve never seen her react that way with one of her dates. correct me if im wrong obvs. but that was quite the Look she and Blanche shared#:’) I’ve never seen Dorothy look so genuinely soft before. her face *really* softened & how many times do we get to see that ??!!!!#I’d argue exactly once and it’s this moment right here /hj#& the way Blanche looks at her … that quick up & down taking in her smile I just !!!!!!!!!! WOW !!!!#like okay Wow. that was incredibly intimate. i know what you both are. holy#be still my heart#i was actually kicking my feet and screaming a little#okay i feel better now that I’ve yelled. but know that I wasn’t over this moment the first time i saw it & i still am not now#i really cant get over Dorothy there. like that is such a specific expression I’ve never seen from her before?#blanches hand lingering there … she did not need to pat her cheek in the first place and then she proceeded to hold her face like that???#911 yes hello I am actually about to faint#Dorothy getting all fidgety !!!!! her hands !!!!! she almost seemed a little nervous LIKE#HELLO !!!!!#okay okay I’m done for real#hoping to draw something i love enough to post soon 🫶🏻#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#dorothy zbornak
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when the art block hitteth
#it hitteth HARD#its worse when its the type of art block where#not only do you Not Have Ideas but Nothing You Attempt Looks Right#and scribbling feels Awkward and Unpleasant#i have exactly Two posts left in the queue#its been an honor drawing for yall🫡#if youll excuse me im going to go Scream At The Sky#I KNEW I HAD IT TOO GOOD FOR TOO LONG. IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME#wait but perhaps... perhaps this means ill be able to write now#am i experiencing another trade-off#i would Like to write#but then again i like scribbling more. id rather draw#looks like i dont have a mcfuckin choice tho!!! ahaha this is fine!!!#absolutely unprompted#i felt it creeping up last night but i refused to acknowledge it#well Now Its Here and its Very Unpleasant#howling wailing baying at the moon etc etc#im so mad rn. all i want is to doodle#maybe... maybe ill write something Original for once.#or write for my flight rising dragons. who knows#gonna go watch spiderverse and we'll see if that knocks anything loose in my brain
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girlbossed too hard.... unless...
#like a lot of stuff about kh. one thing being its sprawling plot. love it all fitting together like that#anyway wanted to write a story like that. here i am with my ocs. and now im worried ive made it too confusing#1. maybe it's just because I haven't finished fixing plot holes? 2. maybe it's bc im not telling it in the right order? (random comics)#3. maybe it's because I assume ppl know more than they probably remember? 4. maybe im bad at explaining it?#anyway I talk to ppl about it and they're like ???? about things so now im like hm. i done messed up#problem is. it all makes perfect sense in my head#nomura is this how you felt? is this just the consequences of my actions??#anyway rip me. doomed to pain and suffering since the days of my youth#wanna get better at talking and expressing things but ACK. so hard!!!!#august rambles#text#you may be thinking huh?? you're expressing something rn. and yes. you see. my disease is so annoying. it is not consistent#sometimes I think about it enough i think about ways to talk about it. sometimes I think about it enough and it soaks into my life so...#someone else goes 'hey whats that?' and i go 'oh tiny info about it' as if secretly the person knew everything else because uh#i thought about it so hard. it must be common knowledge??? i don't know things other people don't??#anyway screaming crying i feel like I'm not expressing this right. doomed.
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Can’t a bitch have a mental health day without someone immediately trying to make it theirs instead!
#the shitty thing about suddenly having all of these followers that interact with me now#is that I used to use this blog to scream into the void#like a little diary or something#but now I have an audience and it’s weird#anyway THATS WEIRD HUH GUYS#I’m like#hey idk im feeling really upset by these things going on in my life right now and I think I need some time#and THEYRE like#oh no yeah for sure#anyway suddenly I am also so sad and I cried myself to sleep and I really need your support right now#WHAT LOL#whatever whatever whatever#I guess I get to continue playing mom to my friend group#personal#I know I always play support#for you guys#and I know I’m always the DM#and I always listen to your problems and help fix them#and I’m always making you presents and packages and whatnot#but please#sometimes#just sometimes#I want to be able to be taken care of too
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i do not know how to explain to people that "transmisogyny" is the specific transphobia that trans women + transfems face (often but not exclusively at the hands of cis people), and "transandrophobia" is the specific transphobia that trans men + mascs face (often but not exclusively at the hands of cis people), and that they all come together under the umbrella of "transphobia." these are not opposing concepts nor are they mutually exclusive, to believe in one does not mean non-belief in the other. is there a simpler way of phrasing this. can i be clearer.
#i can't handle that post that's going around accusing everyone who acknowledges the existence of transadrophobia of being a transmisogynist#i want to scream i want to peel my skin off thats not how this works that's not how any of this works#in fact one might imagine that understanding the nuances of all different types of transphobia might make you a better ally to trans women!#what a shock!#to understand that bioessentialism can harm trans women and trans men and nonbinary people and and and#im so tired. the hate campaigns are horrifying and the blatant and aggressive removal of trans women + transfems blogs is AWFUL and specifi#this falls under transmisogyny! we can acknowledge and understand that#right? right!#but that in no way just makes it trans men + mascs fault?? they are NOT the (only - there are cruel people in every demographic) people#who are mass reporting innocent transfem's blogs#it's TERFs and transmisogynists#if we have the nuance to understand that not every transmisogynist is a TERF then we can understand that not everyone who#acknowledges that transandrophobia is real is. a transmisogynist?! hello?? am i alive right now. am i currently living and breathing??#genuinely reading that post doesn't feel real. that is so far from reality i'm nauseated.#txtly#i genuinely don't know how this can be made any clearer.#i'm tired. idk
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hey once upon a witchlight fandom. how we feeling.
#im a weirdo and watch the twitch vods after they're released so i only just finished the episode dw i managed to avoid spoilers#its so late and i need to sleep but im so fucking jittery right now#im going a little bit insane#ludwig's laments#an actual lament! wow!#hi. hi. what the fuck was that#this one episode alone took up like 10-ish pages in my liveblogging google doc and it's all incoherent screaming and screenshots#i *will* be drawing furiously to cope with my feelings#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight ep 53 spoilers#<- potentially#depends on the notes i guess
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well that one comic panel with baby erik activated the sleeper agent in my brain that goes feral for de-aging angst... if you had the choice between erik protecting a suddenly de-aged charles or vice versa, which would it be and how how many years are they losing?
are you trying to killme. this amya very well kil me
#snap chats#sorry 1.) i have drank 2.) i just finished watching shame and the ending hit way harder than i thought it would#maybe its because of Aforementioned Drinking but i need to lay down and throw up#this isnt a shame review tho ill put my On Topic Rambles now#both hit hard for relatively the same reason. or at least foils of a reason Does That MAke Sense i dont know i cant feel ym forehead#becaue like .. charles couldve greatly benefited from having a protector in his childhood- as did erikt oo of course#like with charles he forgave his mother for not being able to do anything against his stepfather And Thats Incredibly Valid#bless his mother she did all she could and so with this scenario im led to imagine an alternartive or someting similar idk#charles is so gentle but that doesnt always work- he needed someone to kick and scream and fight for him growing up#and so im forced to imagine if the likes of erik was there to protect him as akid#similarly with erik charles being there as a caring figure and to just be like#'hey please dont let this world squander the love in you' would be so important to him#am i making sense. i dont know if im making sense im mashing my fingers on a keyboard#its a miracle i can type coherent sentences really but thats my take on thi as of right now#i dont thinka anythin with de-aging nd whatevr tbh but i can entertain a concept at least#anyway now that ive finished watchin ima go see how much doodles i can make before i pass out#ill see youuuu all then
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