#he is A Lot and loving him is like trying to idk stand in the middle of hurricane winds | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cokoladasljesnjakom · 2 days ago

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tag you're it

tag you're it - shes a ruthless killer. she does not care if someone dies on her watch. her moves are like shadow. she is a shadow. once you see her, its too late. its not her problem. she cant complain, but what she can do is to comply thats what is she made for. thats what they made her do. but once she escapes from their grasp, she searches for him. for her brother. but of course what goes around, comes around. and thats is when she meets him. the winter solider. and oh yeah the rest of the avengers.

bucky barnes x fem! reader

word count: something like 8k

warnings: blood, panic attack (again), guns,bombs and uh lots of tears so yeah :) have fun

taglist: @svtpbts :)

a/n: here she is... ready to serve yall and YALL BETTER LIKE HER. i spent like a week and a half trying to finish her and i couldn’t. idk why tho but honestly? who gives a shit. have fun honey bunnies. just to be sure this is NOT proofread! so if you see mistakes... get over it.

masterlist

"Wake up! Come on, kids! Time for school!” Veronica’s voice rang through the house as she rushed from room to room, juggling breakfast, backpacks, and her own work uniform. She barely had time to tie her hair back before heading to Max’s room.

Pushing the door open, she expected to find him tangled in his blankets, grumbling for five more minutes. Instead, he was already sitting up, wide awake, grinning from ear to ear. “Mommy, I’m ready! Ready for school!” he announced proudly, bouncing on the bed like he couldn’t wait to start the day. Veronica’s heart swelled as she crouched beside him, hands on his tiny shoulders. “My big boy,” she whispered, pressing kisses to his soft, chubby cheeks.

Max giggled, his laughter bright and full of life. He clumsily returned the favor, smacking a sloppy kiss against her cheek. She chuckled, wiping off the mess but never once complaining. That was Max—her little sunbeam. As she looked at him, she couldn’t help but think of the day he was born—the way she had sobbed when she held him for the first time, overwhelmed by love. And then, the moment Y/N had met him, standing on the bed, wide-eyed with curiosity.

Veronica had barely gotten the words out— "Sweetheart, meet your baby brother. His name is Max."—before Y/N gasped dramatically. “What?! But you said the baby was in your tummy, Mommy!”

Veronica had burst into laughter, tucking a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear. “Well, he’s here now. I know you’ve been waiting to meet him.”

Y/N had stared at Max for a long moment, her little brows furrowed in concentration. Then, slowly, her frown melted into awe. “He’s so pretty,” she whispered, as if speaking too loudly would scare him away.

And just like that, a bond was formed. Wherever Y/N went, Max followed. And wherever Max was, Y/N was never far behind.

Now, years later, Veronica smiled at how little had changed. “Wanna wake up your sister?” she whispered. Max’s eyes lit up instantly. “Yes, yes, yes! Let’s wake up Y/N!”

Before she could stop him, he was already racing down the hall, his tiny feet thudding against the floor. He burst into Y/N’s room like a tiny hurricane, jumping onto her bed and shaking her with all his might. “Y/N, wake up! Wake up! It’s time for school!”

A low groan came from beneath the

blankets. “Max, move,” Y/N mumbled, pulling the covers over her head. Then, peeking out with one eye, she turned to their mom. “Can I stay home today? Please? I really don’t wanna go anywhere.”

Veronica gave her a sharp look, the kind only a mother could master. Y/N huffed but rolled out of bed anyway, throwing the blankets aside with dramatic flair.

“Ten minutes,” Veronica said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I want you downstairs, ready to go." By the time Y/N trudged into the kitchen, hair brushed, backpack slung over her shoulder, breakfast was already waiting for her. She plopped into her seat, grabbing the bowl of cereal. “Thanks, Mom,” she muttered before shoveling a spoonful into her mouth. Across the table, Max, munching on his PB&J, pointed at her and started giggling. “You have milk on your face!”

Y/N glared at him, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand while their mother watched with an amused smile.

For a moment, everything was perfect.

And none of them knew—none of them could have known—that this was the last normal morning they’d ever have.

3 months later -

Max gasped awake, choking on air as if he had been drowning. His heart pounded violently against his ribs, sweat clinging to his skin like ice. His hands trembled as he gripped the sheets, trying to remind himself— It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.

But it was. The echoes of gunfire still rang in his ears. The scent of blood, smoke, and something burning filled his lungs. In his head, he could still see her—could still hear her. His mother’s voice, screaming. Shadow’s cries. His own younger self, frozen in place, unable to move, unable to help.

And then, the silence.

The silence was always the worst part.

Max turned onto his side, squeezing his eyes shut, as if that could somehow erase the images behind them. His fingers curled into fists against the mattress, his breath coming in quick, shallow gasps. It never ended. No matter how far he ran, no matter how much time passed, the nightmares never stopped. Some nights, he thought maybe—just maybe—if he could endure it long enough, they would finally fade. But every time he closed his eyes, the past dragged him back.

5:00 AM.

The red numbers on his clock glared at him like an omen.

Max exhaled sharply and sat up, running a hand through his damp hair. He glanced to his side—his fingers had accidentally brushed against hers in his sleep. That small, almost insignificant touch was enough to ground him, just a little.

But it also reminded him of how fragile everything was. He wasn’t getting any more sleep tonight.

With a quiet sigh, he pushed the blankets off and forced himself out of bed. His body ached in protest, but he ignored it, walking toward the bathroom. After brushing his teeth and splashing his face with cold water, he stepped into the kitchen, pulling on his running shoes.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Sam’s voice made him pause.

Max looked up to find him leaning against the counter, a steaming cup of coffee in hand. Max hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. You know how it is.”

Sam studied him for a second. He didn’t push. He never did. Then, as if shifting gears, he smirked. “So, what, you finally decided to stop being lazy and go on a run with me?”

Max huffed a quiet laugh. “Yeah, well… figured it was time to kick your ass and prove you’re getting slow.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, amused. “Oh, really?”

Max finished tying his laces and stood. “Yeah, really.”

Sam hummed in mock thought. “Perfect. That means I can finally push you into that lake I told you about.” Max scoffed, already heading for the door. “Dream on, shithead.” He flipped Sam off over his shoulder.

Sam followed, shaking his head as he locked the door behind them. The world was still dark, the air crisp and biting against their skin.

He smirked. “Oh, I do dream about that shit. Every day, buddy.”

Max chuckled, shaking his head. “You need new dreams, man.”

Sam grinned. “Nah, this one’s too good.”

Then, without warning, he took off.

Max blinked. “Wait, aren’t we supposed to warm up first?” Already halfway down the street, Sam shouted back, “I did!” before flipping him off.

Max cursed under his breath before sprinting after him.

The nightmares never stopped. The past never let go. But for now, running—chasing after Sam, feeling the wind against his skin—made him feel like he could breathe again. At least for a little while.

After ten minutes of running—ten long-ass minutes of Sam teasing him about anything he could think of—Max was starting to regret this.

Sam, barely out of breath, smirked over at him. “You tired yet? Or do you wanna call it quits before I have to carry your ass home?”

Max shot him a glare, still keeping pace. “I should be asking you that, old man. You’re running like this is your last day on Earth.” He paused, grinning. “Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if it is.”

Sam let out a dry laugh. “Yeah, yeah, keep talking, tough guy. We’ll see who’s still standing at the end of this.”

Max, despite the burning in his legs and the way his lungs fucking ached, smiled wide. “Uh-huh, sure. I’m dying here as we speak, y’know?”

Sam glanced at him. “Nah, if you were dying, you wouldn’t be running your mouth.”

Max huffed out a breath, shaking his head. His muscles were screaming at him to stop, but he pushed through it—he had to. The exhaustion, the burn, the ache in his chest… It was better than feeling nothing.

Sam must’ve noticed something shift in his expression because his teasing softened just a little. “Hey,” he said, nudging Max’s arm as they ran. “Still with me?”

Max blinked, snapping out of whatever dark thought was creeping in. He swallowed, forcing himself to focus on the pavement beneath his feet.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Still here.”

Sam gave him a look but didn’t push it. Instead, he jerked his chin forward. “Race you to the end of the block.”

Max raised a brow. “The hell? I thought we were pacing ourselves?”

Sam smirked. “What, scared you’ll lose?”

And just like that, the tension cracked.

Max snorted. “You wish.”

Then, before Sam could react, he took off.

Sam blinked. “Oh, you son of a—”

But he was already sprinting after him.

For the first time in a while, Max wasn’t running from something. He was just running.

They had been running for a while when another figure joined them. Blonde hair, white shirt clinging to his muscles, running like the damn ground was on fire beneath his feet.

Sam was the first to notice. His eyes widened as he watched the guy sprint past them at an almost inhuman speed. “Damn, how’s he running so fast?” He turned to Max, mouthing, Are you seeing this?

Max turned his head, catching a glimpse of the guy. And yeah, he was fast. Stupidly fast. “Dude, he’s gotta be winning this one. He just ran, like, two miles in a minute.”

Sam shot him a skeptical look. “Since when do you know math?”

Max glared at him. “What? Am I wrong, though?” He huffed, nodding toward the runner. “Show-off.”

Before Sam could respond, a voice called from behind them.

“On your left.”

Max, without missing a beat, deadpanned, “Uh-huh. Yeah, okay.” Sam gave him a weird look, but Max just shrugged, picking up his pace slightly.

A few minutes later—

“On your left.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Uh-huh. On our left. Got it.”

Another few minutes passed, and Sam could already feel it coming. He didn’t even have to look over his shoulder to know the guy was about to say it again. And right before the words could leave his mouth, Sam called out, already annoyed, “Don’t you say it! Don’t you say it, man!”

The runner just smirked. “On your left.”

“Oh, come on, man!” Sam groaned, finally slowing down while Max doubled over laughing.

Sam threw his hands up. “Did you see that shit? Who even does that?!”

Max was still wheezing, hands on his knees, shaking his head. “Dude’s out here making us look like amateurs!"

Sam pointed at him. “Speak for yourself. I’ve still got some dignity left.”

Max raised a brow. “Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that.”

After that, they gave up from running, more like max gave up because, damn he never ran this long before.

Wheezing and catching their breaths, they leaned on a nearest tree and rested their backs on it, while max tried to speak, the man who was with them not while ago spoke up, a smile on his face. "Need a medic?"

Sam broke out in a laughter and said "I need a new set of lungs" while Max huffeed and said right after sam "I need new legs. and a cold shower. Like a really cold one."

Sam continued, his hand still on his chest, trying to steady his breathing. "Dude, you just ran 13 miles in 30 minutes."

And the man said, while not sweating a breath or anything at all. "Guess i had a late start.

Max, grinning from ear to ear, took a swing from his water bottle and said. "Yeah? well you should be ashamed of yourself. you should take another lap." And looked at him sceptiply and added again "I assuned you just did right?" Then he turned to sam and asked him "Can you believe that?" while sam shook his head and drank his water too.

The man now asked sam "what unit you were in?" and Sam answered "58th pararescue. but now im working at the VA." While max answered, noticing the mans stare at him. "Im unemployed. Living on his back so, yeah, i am tehnically his problem" and sam rolled his eyes. "Yeah, a very expensive one."

The man noded, while Sam extended his hand at the man to lift him up from the ground and introduced himself "Sam Wilson." while Max did the same, only he lifted himself off the ground alone. "Max harrison."

And the man finally introduced himself back while taking sams hand and lifting him off the ground. "Steve Rogers."

Sam laughed and answered while pointing to steve. "yeah, i kinda put that together."

Max, however being the only one interested in now, steve rogers, the Captain America asked him, his hands gripping the bottle in his hands, trying to keep himself from fanboying. "Must have freaked you out, coming home after the whole defrosting thing."

Sighing, steve answered "it takes some getting used to. good to meet you Sam and uh Max."

Sam now seeing a chance to know about steve asked him, curiosity peeking out. "its your bed right?"

Steve, now turning around to face sam again asked "what?"

Sam continued "your bed, its too soft. when i was over there, i'd sleep on the ground, use a rock as a pillows like a cavemen." and Max snorted in the backround, after hearing the word 'cavemen' coming out from sam's mouth, and Sam turned around at hit him across his head, while max grumbled.

"Yeah, well I bet your head was too big to fit on a pillow anyway." Max teased Sam.

Sam sassed back at Max "your ass is too big for my couch and yet youre there sleeping like a little princess you are."

Sam now turned his head to face Steve, who had a shit eating grin on his face, looking at Max and Sam bickering. "now im home, lying in my bed -"

Steve interrupted him. "feeling like im going to sink into the floor, like a marshmallow." after a second he asked sam. "how long?"

Sam answered looking around. "2 tours."

Max asked him, now interventing in the conversation. "you must miss the good old days, huh?"

Steve, however shrugged and pointed some things out. "well the things arent that bad. foods a lot better, we used to boil everything." Max grinned. “Okay, first—hot dogs. You gotta try ‘em. Ketchup, maybe a little sugar on top—”

Sam groaned. “Oh my God, please don’t listen to him.”

Max ignored him, continuing, “Also, there’s this new restaurant that just opened. People say their food is amazing. I mean, I haven’t tried it yet, but—”

Sam turned around to face Max and told him to calm down, while Steve looked at them loving the way that Max got excited to talk about new places hes definitely going to visit after. "Internet, so helpful. i've been reading a lot, trying to catch up."

Sam suddenly remembered something and told steve about the old singer. "Marvin Gaye, 1972, trouble man sound track."

Steve took his little notebook out his back pocket and said "I'll put it on the list." and wrote out the artist's name and the name of the resturant that Max told him about, when max saw that, he punched Sam on the shoulder to celebrate his victory.

Steve’s phone buzzed and he sighed before saying bye to Max and Sam. "Alright Sam and Max. duty calls. thanks for the run." and he added teasingly "if you want to call that running."

Max lifted his eyebrows in suprise and called out "okay, cmon man, we tried okay. you're just stupid fast." while Sam said, laughing "oh thats how it is?" and Steve laughed and said while shaking sams hand "ooohh, that's how it is."

Steve pulled his hand out, ready to walk away sam called out "anytime you want to come by and visit me at the VA, trying to make me look cool in front of the girl at the front desk, just let me know."

While Max said "yeah, well if you want to visit me, which it would make more sense, and hang out with me, im always here."

Steve laughed and said "i'll keep it in mind." and while he walked away, a car pulled in fron of him and a women called out, or lets say the black widow, Natasha Romanoff. "hey fellas. either of you know where smithononias is? im here to pick up a fossil."

Steve now walked to the car and said "thats hillarious." while closing his door getting in the car. buckling himself in he turned around and said to the boys. "can run everywhere."

Max and Sam laughed and said "yeah, no shit you cant." and the car drove out from their sight. the moment it did, Max jumped up and down while yelling to Sam "dude i just met Captain America!" while Sam laughed and both of them went home, while Max ratted Sam's ear off about everything.

H.Y.D.R.A. SAFEHOUSE

The mans hands trembled as he gripped the files to his chest, his breath coming in quick, uneven gasps. I shouldn’t have done it. I should’ve deleted everything when he told me to.

He forced himself to take a deep breath, but it did little to steady the panic clawing at his ribs. Reaching the secured door, he swiped his keycard. A beep. The doors hissed open. He slipped inside. The computer sat waiting, its screen casting a dim glow over the desk. He dropped into the chair, fingers flying over the keyboard, searching for the file he was supposed to have erased. Come on… come on…

Then—there it was. The man exhaled sharply, relief crashing into him. He clicked it open— And froze. Everything was still there. Every bit of data, every classified detail, untouched. But something felt wrong. Like someone had been here before him. Like the most important piece was just… gone. His grip tightened around the flash drive in his hand. No. I need to check—

"William?"

The thick Russian accent sent a bolt of ice down his spine.

Slowly, he turned.

Ivan Aslanov stood in the doorway, watching him with a cool, unreadable expression.

"What are you doing here?" Ivan asked, his tone even.

William swallowed hard. "I—uh, I was just checking the data for the mission tonight. Making sure everything’s in place." His heart slammed against his ribs. Too fast. Too hard.

Ivan’s sharp gaze lingered on him a second too long before he finally nodded. "We have all the data in the office. Come." He gestured toward the door. "We have work to do."

William hesitated. Then, stiffly, he logged out of the system and powered it down.

He stepped away from the desk.

And didn’t notice—The flash drive. Still plugged into the computer. Ivan’s gaze flicked to it the moment William passed him, his expression giving nothing away.

He waited until the sound of William’s footsteps faded down the hall. Then, in one smooth motion, he plucked the drive from the port and slipped it into his coat.

For the first time in years, he had a lead.

Now, he just needed a plan.

To get her out.

Ivan walked with measured steps, his thoughts miles ahead of him. The risks. The consequences. What could go wrong—and what had to go right. Three months of planning, of waiting for the perfect moment. Three months that had stretched into what felt like a lifetime.

Now, it was almost time.

Beside him, William remained oblivious, too focused on the mission at hand. They entered the office, where a large table was covered in blueprints, maps, and classified files. Everything was set. The fake pirate attack. The bitter Frenchman with his personal grudge against Captain America. The so-called "hostages"—S.H.I.E.L.D. agents placed in just the right position to play the victims.

But Ivan barely saw any of it. Tonight wasn’t about the mission. A voice cut through his thoughts, sharp and commanding. An American voice. Alexander Pierce. “Is everything ready for tonight?”

Around the room, the scientists muttered in unison, “Yes, sir.”

Pierce nodded, his gaze sweeping over the room like a final warning. “Good. Everything has to go exactly as planned.” His tone left no room for failure.

Another round of nods. Another “Yes, sir.”

Satisfied, Pierce turned and left.

Ivan exhaled slowly.

First step: the mission. Let S.H.I.E.L.D. play hero. Let them think they were winning.

Because tonight wasn’t about them.

Tonight was about her.

BACK AT THE S.H.I.E.L.D. COMPOUND

Steve and Natasha made their way down the hall toward Nick Fury’s office, their conversation light but persistent—at least on Natasha’s end. “Oh, come on, Steve,” she teased, a knowing grin on her face. “That girl at the front desk? She’s cute. And her name is Darcy. Sounds like she was made for you.”

Steve groaned as they stepped into the elevator. “Is she the one who stares at me every time I walk by?” Natasha nodded.

Steve sighed, running a hand over his face. “Yeah, no. Too many tattoos. And she’s always looking at me weird.”

Natasha let out a dramatic sigh and shook her head. “Because she likes you, dumbass. And she probably wants a piece of that—” Steve shot her a glare as they reached their floor. She smirked. “I mean, can you blame her?”

They stepped out of the elevator and walked toward Fury’s office. Steve raised his fist to knock—maybe a little too hard.

BANG.

Natasha snorted. “Easy there, soldier. You planning to break the door down?”

Before Steve could respond, the door swung open, revealing Nick Fury’s unimpressed face. He eyed Steve, then the door, then back at Steve. “You knock like that again, and you’ll be paying for a new door, Captain.”

Steve scratched the back of his neck. “Sorry, sir.”

Fury stepped aside to let them in, the door shutting automatically behind them. “Lock it,” he ordered.

The AI responded instantly. “Doors locked.”

Natasha dropped into a chair, crossing her legs as she made herself comfortable. “So, what’s the emergency, Nick?”

Steve remained standing beside her, arms crossed.

Fury exhaled, leaning back in his chair. He twirled a classified file between his fingers before tossing it onto the table. “We have a mission. And I need you two on it.” He glanced at Natasha. “I tried to get Stark, but the little asshole won’t answer his phone. So congratulations, you’re my second choice.”

Natasha placed a hand on her chest mockingly. “Wow. I’m honored.” Steve, ignoring the banter, stepped forward. “What’s the mission? And when do we start?”

Fury nodded toward the file. Natasha picked it up first, skimming through the pages. Her eyes flickered with interest as she read. “S.H.I.E.L.D. agents taken hostage…” she muttered. “Pirates. French ones, apparently.” She raised an eyebrow. “They really thought taking S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives hostage was a good idea?”

Fury scoffed. “These guys aren’t just pirates. They’re stupid pirates. But stupid people can still be dangerous. And they’ve got hostages.” Natasha handed the file to Steve, who flipped through it quickly before nodding. “We’ll get them back.” He shut the file and placed it back on the table. “You have my word, sir.”

Without waiting for a response, he turned toward the door. “Romanoff, I’ll be waiting.”

Natasha smirked. “Aye aye, Captain.”

As soon as the door closed behind Steve, Fury’s expression shifted. His usual cool demeanor remained, but his voice dropped just slightly. “You know your real mission, Romanoff.” Natasha’s smile didn’t falter as she stood, adjusting her jacket. “Take the most important data, as much as i could and try not to sabotage the mission.Yeah, yeah, I got it.”

Fury gave her a long look. Natasha held up two fingers. “Scout’s honor.” Then, with a wink, she strolled out the door.

When it shut behind her, Fury let out a slow breath, his gaze drifting to the city skyline through his window. For three months, he had been chasing shadows. Following whispers about her. The one who nearly put a bullet in his brother’s head. The one who had disappeared without a trace.

Tonight, that would change.

Or at least, he hoped it would.

2 HOURS BEFORE THE MISSION -

walking slowly and trying not to get attention on himself, Ivan had the files thightly in his hands, while the stick was deep in his lab coat, hidden from everyone.

the reason he was on the ship and not someone else? because he was the only one who knew the code to the doors he needed to get into. yeah,yeah he knew, a stupid reason, but he needed one. to do what he wanted to do for months.

when walking, every guard would nod his head to greet him and he would do the same. finally, reaching the doors, his hand reached for the card he now had and scanned it, making the doors open with a quiet hiss. now, youre asking, but how did he got the card, after all these years? well heres it how he got it.

flashback-

walking out from his office, his case in his hands, Ivan's thoughts were all around the place. how would he get the card, how would he find out what did William did, and how to break her free.

his fingers thightly gripped the case, while he entered the room where the winter solider stood. it wasnt a mission, or anything at this point, it was just the siencetists doing their own thing. experimenting on him. breaking him. all over again. his stomach churned at the sight of, before the strongest solider ever known, now like a broken toy, thrown away like nothing. 'it must’ve been the trigger words that affected this.' he had thought. the older siencetist, thrown across the room and his breathing shallow. 'maybe a few broken bones, here and there.'

trying to foucus on the solider, he stepped close to him, and spoke carefully, whispering with his hand out, like hes trying to ground himself. "солдат? ты меня слышишь?" (solider, can you hear me?) and the way the solider spoke, made him stop in his tracks, his footsteps now quiet, like he was afraid to scare him off. "цель устранена, миссия выполнена успешно." (target eliminated, mission successful.)

Ivan looked at the other side and saw a medic on the man trying to get him up, and the guy from the medic, nod his head in the was to say that the siencetist is fine. looking back at the solider, Ivan nodded his head yes, as in making believe for the man in front of him that he susccssesed.

"молодец солдат" (well done solider) Ivan said, while inching closer to the solider. "но мне нужно, чтобы ты сейчас вернулся и рассказал мне, что ты сделал." (but i need you to come back now and tell me what you did) and the solider stiffened, his back now straight and coice clipped. "Я убил цель и готов вернуться." (I killed the target and am ready to return)

Ivan now looking at the mans face, the blood running on his forhead, busted lip, fractured bones and probably twisted arm, asked him once again. "почему и кто вам сказал это сделать?" (why and who told you to do this) and the solider looked at him, pointed his head at the mans direction and said. "он мне так сказал" (he told me so) and Ivan nod his head once again, before telling the solider in a calm,deep voice. "Ты снова идешь спать. Спи спокойно, солдат." (you're going to sleep again. sleep well, soldier.) and the way his eyes crumbled, Ivan turned away, because he knew, that is he stayed there, he would to anything to get him out.

stepping away from the room, he saw William fiddgeting with his fingers and murmuring something to himself. seeing the key card hanging around his neck, he needed something do discract William, so he could at least get a copy of the card.

walking towards William at the full speed, yet acting calmly, he knocked his shoulder against his making William’s files fall out from his hands. cursing, William got down to pick them up, craning his head down, making the card fall down from his neck to the floor. and Ivan not waisting a second, took the card and hid it in his pocket.

"sorry, didn’t looked where i was walking, sir." William apologized, his hands now shaking and if it wasnt for now, Ivan would’ve felt bad. but unfortunately, he did not, so he helped him with his files and said, almost like he felt sorry, with russian accent. "its okay, it happens to everyone." so he patted his shoulder and walked away.

end of the flashback

Entering the dimly lit room, Ivan moved quickly, the door sliding shut behind him with a quiet hiss. He strode to the desk where the terminal awaited, his fingers already pulling up the login screen. The code? He knew it. Hacking into restricted systems had always been second nature to him—just another skill Hydra had unknowingly sharpened over the years.

He typed it in. The system granted him access. Now, his eyes scanned the directories, searching for one thing: the deleted file. But it wasn’t there. His jaw tightened. William must have wiped it completely.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small drive and plugged it into the terminal. A second passed, then another—then the screen flickered, and the file appeared. The one that wasn’t supposed to exist. Clicking it open, he scanned the data flashing before him. The missions Hydra had executed over the decades. The projects. The experiments. The people they had destroyed. Her. Him. Countless others who had been nothing more than pawns in Hydra’s hands. And worst of all—proof that Hydra had never truly died, that it had been rotting within S.H.I.E.L.D. all this time, waiting for the right moment to strike.

His hands hovered over the keyboard for only a second before he made his decision. With precise keystrokes, he initiated the upload. Every secret Hydra had buried, every atrocity they had committed—it was all about to be exposed.

A final prompt flashed on the screen:

“RELEASE THE DATA?”

Ivan didn’t hesitate. He hit Yes.

The system processed his command, the progress bar crawling forward. Heart pounding, he rose from the chair, yanked the drive free, and tucked it back into his coat. He swiped his keycard, stepping out of the office just as the countdown began.

Thirty minutes.

That’s how long until the attack. Until the data was stolen, hidden away. Or worse—until it was erased again. But this time, he had done something that mattered.

For the first time in years, the weight on his shoulders felt lighter.

30 minutes later -

With calculated precision, she took down the last guard, moving like a shadow through the dimly lit hallway. No wasted movement, no unnecessary noise. By the time his body hit the ground, she was already at the door, pulling out a small device. A few taps. A quiet beep.The lock disengaged.

Natasha slipped inside, closing the door behind her without a sound. The room was cold, sterile—just another forgotten corner of a ship filled with secrets. She moved to the computer, fingers flying as she logged in using the stolen credentials. Files flickered across the screen. She filtered through them, searching, scanning—until she found it. A single, tucked-away file, buried deep.

Gotcha.

She clicked. The screen filled with data, scrolling too fast for the average eye to catch, but she wasn’t an average eye. Her fingers moved again, copying everything onto the drive Fury had given her.

Fury.

Lately, he had been on edge, more than usual. Like he was waiting for something—or someone. And whatever was on this hard drive, it mattered to him more than he was letting on.

A muffled grunt sounded from outside the room. She ignored it. Come on, come on, she thought, watching the transfer bar crawl forward. Then— The doors burst open. A body crashed to the floor—a French pirate, groaning, half-conscious. And stepping over him, shaking his head, was Steve Rogers. "Well, this is awkward," she muttered, a smile on ber face.

Steve glanced from her to the computer, then back. "What are you doing?" She smirked. "Backing up the hard drive. It’s a good habit to get into."

Steve’s jaw tightened. "Rumlow needed your help. What the hell are you doing in here?".Finally, he looked at the screen. Realization hit. "You’re stealing S.H.I.E.L.D.’s intel."

Natasha barely reacted, typing a few more commands. "Whatever I can get my hands on." Steve stepped closer. "Our mission was to save hostages." She pulled out the drive and patted him on the shoulder. "No, that was your mission," she corrected, smiling. "And you did it beautifully."

Before she could move, Steve caught her arm, pulling her back. His voice was low, tense. "You just jeopardized this whole operation." Natasha didn’t flinch. "I think that’s overstating things."

Before he could respond, a click echoed in the room. Both turned—just in time to see the pirate on the floor rising to his feet, a small detonator in his hand. "Shit," Natasha muttered. Steve barely had time to react. He grabbed Natasha, shielding her as he launched them both over the desk.

She fired a shot at the window just as the explosion detonated behind them. The blast ripped through the room, sending them crashing to the floor, the impact knocking the wind out of her.

For a moment, everything was dust and ringing ears. Steve was the first to move, pushing himself up and glancing out the shattered window. The pirate was gone.

Natasha let out a breath, rubbing her head. "Okay. That one’s on me." Steve shot her a glare, completely unimpressed. "You’re damn right."

And just like that, he was gone, already chasing after the pirate. Natasha sighed, rolling her shoulders before getting up. "No gratitude, I swear," she mumbled, following after him.

THE NEXT MORNING -

Nick Fury sat in his dimly lit office, the weight of last night’s events pressing against his thoughts. The hard drive in his hand felt heavier than it should. Something isn’t right. He placed it into the computer and spoke, voice steady. “Secure the office.”

“Office secured.” The AI’s confirmation was immediate. The once-transparent windows darkened, the room sealed off from the outside world. No prying eyes. No unwanted ears.

Fury leaned forward. “Open Lemurian Star's satellite launch file.” Silence.

“Access denied.”

He froze. His gaze flicked to the screen. That’s impossible. “Run decryption.”

The system processed, the progress bar crawling forward—then suddenly stopping.

“Decryption failed.”

Fury’s fingers tightened around the desk. He wasn’t one to be shut out. “Director override. Fury, Nicholas J.” Another pause. Another lockout.

“Override denied. All files sealed.”

A slow exhale. His instincts were screaming now. He switched tactics.

“Open files on the most recent missions.”

“Specify.”

Fury didn’t hesitate. “Shadow and the Winter Soldier.” Nothing.

“Access denied. Files are sealed.”

His jaw clenched. "On whose authority?"

The AI didn’t even pause. “Fury, Nicholas J.”

His own name. That was all he needed to hear. Yanking the drive from the port, Fury turned on his heel and strode toward the elevator. "World Security Council."

"Confirmed."

As the elevator ascended forty floors, Fury’s mind raced. Someone had locked him out of his own system, and he wanted to know who. Why now? And what the hell are they hiding? The doors slid open. He stepped out, heading toward Alexander Pierce’s office.

Pierce’s secretary barely had time to acknowledge him before he was inside, waiting while Pierce wrapped up a conversation with a congressman on the screen. Pierce turned, a smirk already in place. "I work forty floors away, and it takes a hijacking for you to visit?"

Fury shook his hand, matching his tone. "A nuclear war would do it too." Pierce let out a short chuckle, but his eyes remained sharp. Fury glanced toward his office. "You busy in there?" Pierce waved a dismissive hand. "Nothing some earmarks can't fix."

Fury nodded, taking a second before speaking. How the hell do I ask this?

"I need a favor." Pierce exhaled. "Nick, when you say favor, I hear ‘bureaucratic nightmare.’" Fury ignored him. "I need you to call for a vote. Project Insight needs to be delayed." A pause. "And I need access to the mission data from three months ago."

Pierce leaned back slightly. "That’s not a favor, that’s a subcommittee hearing. A long one." His fingers drummed against the desk. "And that data—why not just pull it yourself? You’ve got the code."

Fury’s stare was unwavering. "That’s the problem. My code doesn’t work."

Pierce’s expression didn’t change, but his fingers stopped moving. Just for a second.

"Could be nothing," Fury continued. "Probably is nothing. I just need time to make sure it’s nothing."

Pierce studied him. "And if it’s something?"

Fury didn’t blink. "Then we’ll both be damn glad those helicarriers aren’t in the air."

Another pause.

"Fine," Pierce said, rubbing his temple. "But as for the data—I, uh, forgot my own code for it. You’ll have to wait a day." Fury didn’t buy that for a second. But he nodded. "Appreciate it." Pierce smiled, leaning back in his chair. "No problem. But you still owe me—my niece’s birthday party, remember? You promised Iron Man would show up."

Fury gave him a look. "He’s not exactly the 'kids' party' type." Pierce smirked. "He doesn’t have to mingle. Just stand there and look shiny." Fury let out a low chuckle, turning toward the door. "I’ll see what I can do."

As he walked out, though, the uneasy feeling in his gut didn’t fade. Something was wrong. And he hated not knowing what. Stepping into his car, he locked the doors, started the engine, and drove. His instincts were rarely wrong. And right now?

They were screaming.

BACK AT THE H.Y.D.R.A FACILITY -

running around, the siencetists tried to do everything in time, before he arrives. they got out him out of the cyro and sat him down, strapping his hands down on the arm rest. after checking twice if the knot was tied hard enough, the man stepped in front of him with a red book in his hands.

now bucky, stared him with wide eyes, fear filling them and anxiety bubbling all over him. his hands shook in fear, that maybe there is another mission and his memories would be wiped all over again. 'i dont want this, not again, please.'

he wanted to say the words out, but knkowing them, saying a word without a premission woulve have consequences, so he keept his mouth shut and watched the man silently.

the machine inching closer to buckys face, it cachged him and started electrucing him. opening the book, while buckys scream echoed in the room, the man began saying the trigger words.

"Тоска" the man started to circle around bucky, his footsteps now loud, but not loud enough to susprese Bucky’s screams.

"ржавый" every scream sent the siencetists into a haze, their skin crawling and their minds too quiet.

"печь" bucky's skin felt like it was on fire, the touch of the machine burning his face. not handling the pain, he screamed louder.

"рассвет" remembering the daylight so clearly, the sunrise kissing his cheeks, every time he stayed up late, thinking about his future, but now forbidden to think about it.

"семнадцать" when he was just seventeen, the news he got were like he got hit by a car. the day that his grandmother died. he remembered how he cluched his mothers body next to his as if to ground himself.

"доброкачественный" the first time he got convinced that he was about to do, that it was 'good'. that it would help him to grow into good person.

"девять" always doubting him, using him for cruel ways to kill someone and the last nine years he had been used, those nine times he had been forced to listen and have no choice, but do everything what they said. the days that his freedom was taken away from him.

"возвращение домой" the days before he was capcured. the familarity of having his family close to him. where he felt that he belonged there. the warmth of his moms hugs, the teasing from his 4 younger sisters, every praise from his dad and raising him to be good man in the future, his friend, the one he loved so dearly, but his name - seemed so familiar, yet so distant.

"один" the first time he was ever sent to a mission. meaning he was sent alone. being the only one solider he was, in the beginning, it was always just him. one mission, one task, one target.

"товарный вагон" the day he fell off from that train. his fingers grippkng the handle so thightly, he thought his palms would bleed. Steve inching closer to him, wanting to take Bucky's hand into his and get him up, his hands suddenly fell off from the handle, making his screams for help to echo in to the void.

the man now stopped circling around bucky, closed the book and put it on a table next to him and stepped kn front of now, the winter solider, said in a cold demanor. "доброе утро, солдат."

the winter soldier now looked at the man with nothing but emptiness in his eyes as he nod his head. "готов подчиниться."

"is he ready?" pierce asked the second he stepped in the room, his hands in his pocket, making his presence in the room now cold. the man noded his head. "he is ready, sir."

pierce now satisfied with the answer, stepped closer to the winter solider and said. "we meet again, solider." sighing, he said again. "I have a mission for you, and you have to do it perfectly. no hessitation, just perfection." the solider nod his head yes in understoodment.

and the words that left pierce's mouth, shocked all of the siencetists in the room, even the man who triggered bucky. "kill nick fury. and I want a clear shot with a bullet in his head." and with that, he left the room, only to go in the other one.

Entering in the second room, the presence felt cold, non exsitend and almost normal? hearing the sharp breaths and the way her eyes burned through his skull, it made him uncomfortable and his skin crawled and itched every time he had to lock his gaze onto hers.

noding to the siencetist, as if asking if she was ready, the siencetist, whose name was Ivan, noded his head in aprovement to say yes.

Ivan watched Pierce’s gaze onto hers and all he wanted to do is to rip her off from the chair and save her. "she ready?" asked pierce.

Ivan nod his head and stepped away from her, and watched the way pierce walked slowly towards her and kneeling in front of her, taking her hands in his. "I have a mission for you, shadow." and she looked at him with the same look the winter solider had. emptiness and coldness. the loom that could say everything, but yet, nothing.

"I need you to kill Nick Fury." sighing and agzer a second he said again. "and i need you to repeat your mission before 3 months ago." looking at her, he asked her. "you remember that, dont you?" and shadow nod her head yes.

getting up from the position he was in, he clapped her shoulder and walked out from the room.

now it was the time to do the missions.

not one, but two.

In 20 minutes, both assassins were ready.

Weapons strapped to their bodies—knives, pistols, explosives. Anything that could kill, they carried. Their suits, dark and fitted for combat, left no room for mistakes. As they stepped out of their lockers, they locked eyes.

The Winter Soldier gave a curt nod. Shadow, standing there awkwardly, scoffed under her breath. “Asshole.”

He heard it. Of course, he did. Enhanced hearing was a pain in the ass sometimes. Turning slightly, he glanced over his shoulder—she was already gone.

Rolling his eyes, he made his way to the black SUV, yanking open the door and slipping inside. And there she was, sitting across from him, casually inspecting a gun. It was sleek, polished—black with pink edges.

His gaze lingered. Shadow, not even looking up, stretched her arm before speaking. "You're doing the staring thing again." He leaned back in his seat, expression unreadable. "No, I’m not. You’re imagining things." She snorted, loading and checking her weapons. "Uh-huh. And you’re delusional."

The Winter Soldier crossed his arms, his presence somehow even more intimidating, and Shadow—God help her—felt her face grow warm. That suit did not need to fit him that well. The way his muscles flexed beneath the fabric? Unfair.

"You are pretty annoying for a girl," he muttered. Shadow smirked. "You think I’m pretty, Soldier?"

His jaw clenched. A flicker of something crossed his face—confusion, irritation, maybe both. The faintest red crept up his neck. He didn’t answer. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. Before she could push further, the vehicle came to a stop. Orders were given. They stepped out, weapons in hand, eyes locking for one last moment before their humanity switched off.

Now, they were empty. Now, they were killers.

Max leaned against the wall, chest heaving. His shirt stuck to his back with sweat, and his legs felt like jelly. He waved Sam off weakly. “I hate you so much.”

Sam, hands on his hips, grinned like he had just run a warm-up lap instead of nearly getting them both killed. "Uh-huh. And you have a terrible way of lying, but here we are."

Max shot him a glare, but it lacked bite. He was too tired for attitude. Sam, ever the menace, reached out a hand. Max grabbed it, only to regret it immediately—Sam yanked him up, then clapped him on the back so hard he nearly faceplanted.

“Okay, what the hell was that for?” Max grumbled, straightening himself.

Sam smirked, already walking ahead. “You need to learn how to run. Those two things you call legs? Feels like you’ve got cinder blocks strapped to them.”

Max scoffed, catching up. "I wasn’t built for running, Wilson. I was built for—"

"Whining? Complaining? Moving at the speed of a grandma on a Sunday stroll?"

Max shot him a look. “I was gonna say ‘strength,’ but sure, let’s go with that.”

Sam snorted. “Strength, huh? Hate to break it to you, but if we were in a race for survival, you’d be dead five minutes in.”

Max threw his arms up. “Okay, first of all—screw you. Second, I’d survive.”

"Oh yeah? How?" Sam challenged.

Max grinned. “By tripping you first.”

Sam blinked, then let out a laugh. "Wow. Real honorable, man."

"Hey, survival's not about honor, it's about strategy."

Sam gave him a long look before shaking his head. “You know what? I’m actually impressed by how little shame you have.”

Max clapped a hand on Sam’s shoulder, smirking. “I aim to disappoint.”

Sam groaned, rolling his eyes as they kept walking. “Yeah, you’re doing a great job at that.”

Max just grinned, jogging ahead. Sam shook his head, but a small smirk played on his lips as he followed.

Five more minutes of running, and Max was done. He yanked Sam toward a nearby shop, ignoring his protests.

“I need a treat,” Max muttered, walking straight to the freezer section.

Sam scoffed but followed. “Yeah, sure. Take your time. Not like we were doing anything important.” When Max emerged, happily unwrapping a chocolate-covered ice cream bar, Sam’s expression turned downright offended. Without hesitation, he smacked Max upside the head.

“Wow. Okay. I see how it is.”

Max gave him an unimpressed side-eye as he took a bite. “You’ve got your own money. Buy your own. I’m not your damn nanny.”

Sam huffed under his breath but didn’t go back inside. “You know, every time I go grocery shopping, I get you something. Because I know your ass will be up my neck whining about how I didn’t.”

Max scoffed. “Well, yeah. You can’t just let me starve, shithead.”

Sam shot him a deadpan look. “Sometimes I wish I could.”

Max rolled his eyes and tossed the ice cream wrapper in a trash can as they walked. “Yeah, yeah. You fucking wish, man. If you really hated me, you’d have thrown me out a long time ago—”

BANG!

The gunshot split the air. Max froze as the bullet whizzed past his head, missing him by inches. Sam lunged, grabbing Max by the shirt and yanking him down behind a parked car just as another shot rang out. The sudden impact knocked the air from Max’s lungs. His ears rang.

“What the hell was that?!” Sam hissed, peeking over the hood, trying to pinpoint the shooter. More gunfire. Bullets pinged off metal, shattered glass, tore through the air.

Max’s hands were shaking. His breathing hitched. His heart pounded so hard it felt like it would burst from his chest. He turned to Sam, eyes blown wide with panic. "Sam, w-what’s happening?"

Another shot clipped the side mirror, shattering it. Sam grabbed Max again, shoving him further behind cover. He felt it then—Max's heartbeat hammering against his own palm. Too fast. Too erratic. Not good.

Max’s chest rose and fell too quickly. His fingers curled into his hoodie, nails digging into his own skin so hard his palm bled. His whole body shook. Panic attack.

Sam didn’t hesitate. He gripped Max’s wrist, prying his clenched fingers open. “Hey, hey—look at me.” Max’s eyes flickered to his. “Breathe, buddy. In. And out.” Sam inhaled, exaggerated, slow. Max mimicked it, struggling to control the rapid gasps.

But the gunfire. The noise. The smoke rising in the distance. It pulled him back—to her.

To the day she tried to kill him.

“I can’t.” Max’s voice cracked. His free hand clawed at his chest, as if trying to tear the panic out of him. "Sam, I can't fucking breathe."

Sam’s grip tightened. “Yes, you can. You’re with me. Right here. No one's gonna hurt you. I got you.” Max squeezed his eyes shut. Focus. Focus on Sam's voice. The world narrowed. The ringing in his ears dulled. Breathe. A deep inhale. A shaky exhale.

Sam gave a small nod. “There you go. You’ve got it.” Then he glanced over the car. Smoke. Whatever was burning, it was getting worse. Max was still rattled, and if he took one breath of whatever that shit was—it’d send him spiraling all over again.

Sam turned back to him, forcing a grin. “Alright, listen. We’re gonna run. As fast as we can. Because if we don’t, we’re gonna die in this damn alley, and I refuse to go out like this.”

He nudged Max, trying to keep the moment light. “If I’m gonna die, it better be on some cool superhero shit.”

Max let out a breathless laugh. He knew what Sam was doing. And he appreciated it. “…Yeah, well, we better start running then.” Sam grinned. “You ready?”

Max exhaled. "Hell no. But let’s go."

Then they ran. Bullets tore past them. They weaved between cars, ducking low, using wreckage as cover.

Suddenly—a blur of movement.

A man lunged from the shadows, tackling Sam to the ground. Max skidded to a stop, heart dropping. Sam barely had time to react before a fist slammed into his ribs. Another hit followed—a brutal hook to the jaw.

Watching the fight happening in front of his eyes, Max was ready to jump in and help sam but then - the grip on Max’s wrist took him by a suprise and it was like a vise, twisting his arm so far back that pain shot through his shoulder.

A second later, his chest slammed into the pavement. The impact rattled his ribs, his breath torn from his lungs in a choked gasp.

Move. Don’t freeze.

He felt the weight of the man shifting above him—his attacker trying to get a stronger hold. Max gritted his teeth and yanked his arm forward, rolling onto his side just enough to jam his elbow into the guy’s knee.

A sharp grunt. The grip loosened. Max didn’t wait. Using the momentum, he twisted free and planted both feet firmly against the pavement. Then he kicked.

His boot crashed into the man’s chest like a sledgehammer. The force sent him staggering back, a deep, guttural cough escaping as he nearly lost his balance.

Max didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop.

He launched forward, grabbing the man’s collar and slamming his fist into his jaw. Once. Twice. A third time. The guy’s head snapped back, but then— A second attacker. Max barely registered the movement before a fist collided with his ribs. A sickening crunch.

Pain exploded through his side, knocking the breath from his lungs. He stumbled back, clutching his ribs, vision momentarily spinning.

Stay up. Don’t go down.

The second man was bigger, stronger. His smirk was slow, deliberate—like he was enjoying this. "Not bad, kid," he taunted, cracking his knuckles.

Max wiped the blood from his lip and exhaled hard, forcing himself to focus.

Then he moved. He ducked under the man’s next punch, twisting his body and bringing up his knee. A sharp hit to the gut. The man grunted, doubling over slightly. Max didn’t give him time to recover. He brought his elbow down onto the back of his neck, sending him to one knee.

But the first guy wasn’t down yet. Max barely turned in time to see him lunging.

His instincts screamed. At the last second, Max twisted out of the way, grabbed the man’s arm, and used his momentum against him—flipping him forward. The attacker’s back slammed into the pavement.

Sam groaned, pushing himself up from the ground, wiping blood from his busted lip.

"Show-off."

Max scoffed, shoving the unconscious guy aside like he was nothing. He stepped in front of Sam, rolling his shoulders before extending a hand to pull him up. “Yeah, well, this show-off just saved your sorry ass.”

Then Max gave him a once-over, lips curling in mock disgust. “Guess I didn’t have to.”

Sam grinned, shaking his head as he clapped a hand on Max’s shoulder. “You alright, man?”

Max hesitated. His body ached. His heartbeat still hadn’t fully settled from the fight, the adrenaline making his hands tremble slightly. But he exhaled, forcing a nod. “Yeah. I mean—I survived, right?”

Sam studied him for a second, then nodded back. “Good. ’Cause it’s your turn to order pizza tonight, dumbass.” He nudged Max’s arm playfully.

Max rolled his eyes, already opening his mouth to fire back—

BANG!

The world shattered. Pain—sharp, searing, unforgiving—ripped through Max’s side. His breath hitched. He barely even registered the sound of the gunshot before his legs buckled beneath him.

Sam didn’t hesitate. He caught Max before he hit the ground, dragging him behind cover. "Max? Max?!"

Max's eyes fluttered, dazed. A slow, creeping warmth spread across his ribs, and when Sam's hands pressed against his side—red. Dark, pooling, spreading red.

Sam’s stomach dropped. "Shit—shit, stay with me, man. Just keep your eyes open—”

Max sucked in a sharp breath, vision blurring at the edges. The pain wasn’t even the worst part—it was the cold. Crawling up his spine, numbing his fingers, slowing everything down. Across the smoke-filled street, a figure emerged.

Shadow. She lowered her gun, pressing a finger to her earpiece. Her voice, sharp and clipped, cut through the static. “цель устранена. достижение успешное.”

But then—another voice crackled through her earpiece. "цель сбежала. миссия... провалилась." Her breath caught. No. Not again.

She took a slow step back, her heartbeat thudding against her ribs like a warning. Her fingers twitched at her sides as memories threatened to surface—the Soldier. The mission. The failure.

This was just like before.

She turned on her heel, walking stiffly toward the waiting black SUV. The agents inside didn’t ask questions. They knew better. Inside the car, Shadow pressed her forehead against her hands, breathing shallowly. When does this end?

Sam was still pressing down on Max’s wound, hands slick with blood. “Max, c’mon, open your eyes—stay with me, man, stay with me.”

Max exhaled shakily, eyes barely focusing. “S-Sam?” Sam nodded quickly. “Yeah, yeah, I’m right here, buddy.”

Max swallowed, his throat dry. “Listen. You’re… you’re gonna save my sister, okay? Promise me.”

Sam felt his chest tighten. Max lifted a trembling pinky finger. Even now—dying in his arms—this dumbass was making him pinky promise. Sam let out a choked laugh, blinking hard to keep his vision clear. He linked their fingers together..“Yeah, yeah, you got it, man. But first?” His grip tightened. “You gotta stay awake for me, alright?”

Max’s breathing hitched. His eyelids drooped. “…Max?”

No. No, no, no— Sam’s hands shook. His heart slammed against his ribs.

“Max—HEY—STAY AWAKE, MAN!"

TO BE CONTINUED...

translation-

Тоска - longing

ржавый - rusted

печь - furnance

рассвет - daybreak

семнадцать - seventeen

доброкачественный - benign

девять - nine

возвращение домой - homecoming

один - one

грузовой вагон - freight car

#m's blogs #the avengers #bucky barnes #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky x you #james buchanan barnes #the falcon and the winter soldier #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic

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russell-crowe · 2 months ago

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i have been listening to quite a bit of U2 today and now the age old question of "which member is actually my fave?" has resurfaced

#text #i really like all of them #though i never had a particularly strong Thing for larry (im sorry larry)#larry is the backbone of who they are and i really appreciate him a lot #and i love his attitude #but right now i am kinda going back and forth between edge and adam #i think adam is my current fave because he is just so chill #he has such a natural elegance to him #and he is such a gentleman #he also came up to me after i played on stage with them and was shaking like a leaf the moment adrenalin kicked my butt #and he told me that i did great and reassured me with his gentle aura and we hugged #i just really love the balanced at peace energy he has #edge is the sonic architect of the band!!!!#and i just think he is So Incredibly funny #(and he was also kind by teaching me the chords 😭)#bono is just.....#he is A Lot and loving him is like trying to idk stand in the middle of hurricane winds #it can be difficult to hold onto him without needing a bit of a breather every now and then #but he is very loveable and he has his heart in the right place #even if the execution is not always... great #and i have never met someone who could read people so well as he can #and i love how he uses that to just give everyone memorable experiences #such a natural showman and people person i suppose #he can center you out in a crowd of dozens of people screaming for his attention and give you that personal moment #... yeah im having U2 feelings #not in the way that i feel an intense moment of hyperfixation on them brewing #it mostly feels like visiting an old friend

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bitchfitch · 6 months ago

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I've started playing Potion Permit, and so far it's one of my favorite games I've messed around with, but the most big brained move the devs made was giving you a dog on day 1, and then making that dog able to track NPCs and lead you directly to them no matter where they are in the town.

#im still early game but i like the play and the writing is passable #like #Theres a flatness #the characters Are distinct but theyre mostly just their jobs #with only a few who stand out and have like. something to really grab onto #Like rue? rues entire deal is little girl you can date. Nothing else behind those eyes. She has nothing better to talk to you about #than the fact her favorite color is red #Sorcelia? Sorcelia is a goth nun who loves singing and teaches one of the village children #Reynerd? sure is a guy #got nothing else to say about him. hes just a Guy™. Victor? Has ghost friends and loves bugs and cares deeply about the cemetery #he tends to. At the moment it feels like they're trying to imply there aren't actually ghosts. and hes just talking to himself/#insisting his imaginary friends are real people #and so far? The games been cool about it. Victor's a member of his community and his eccentricities are accepted and not ridiculed #all four characters ive mentioned are romance candidates. but its just as hit or miss with the regular towns folk #Opalheart is an older woman and a world renowned blacksmith who only takes jobs if they will do Good. regardless of whether or not they #pay well. She declines to make a dagger for a rich man but makes a helmet for a childs father bc the girl asked #and olive is here #anyways you can be best friends with a cat (shes just a regular cat) and i appreciate that #idk im putting it above sun haven in my ranking of life sim games #purely because there are older romance candidates.#no fat romance candidates. but sun haven doesn't have thise either.#and sdv has neither fat or old candidates Nor can you fuck a cat boy. it goes at the bottom.#gameplay wise sunhaven is at the bottom then sdv then potion permit at the top. sunhaven has the Most™ but having #a lot of crap doesn't mean its fun and it ends up making half the game feel really incomplete #idk. Sdv is a game you should've started playing a year ago. sun haven is a game that perpetually needs another year worth of updates #before id say its worth it bc the devs keep pushing content ™ updates instead of quality of life or polish so what is there is uh #Bad. plentiful. and a large portion is good #but a Lot is just bad.#its insincere and cant take itself seriously it gives you (the right dialogue option) an (the shit joke option) which is worse than just #i ram out of space. tldr. potion permit is good Now. sdv Was good. sun haven Might be great Eventually

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lesbiansanemi · 9 months ago

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So hard being a sukuna enjoyer and trying to find fics about him because you get one of two options

1. God awful out of character reader insert porn where you’re his uwu submissive (normally terrified of him) concubine or some shit but GASSSSPPPP he ACTUALLY cares about you and is soft for YOU ONLY and he wants you to GET PREGNANT with HIS HEIR oh my GOD

2. God awful out of character suku.fushi or suku.ita where the plot is like what if sukuna was a MAFIA BOSS and he got OBSESSED WITH THEM and KIDNAPPED them and also it was INCEST and OMEGAVERSE and they call him DADDY while he FUCKS THEM INTO THE MATTRESS and talks about their PUSSY the WHOLE time

And both make me want to throw up in my mouth and momentarily wish I had the power to arbitrarily ban ppl from posting on the internet

#his tag on ao3 is truly a desolate fucking wasteland of the most radioactive garbage I have ever laid eyes on #like ???????#okay given his character I GUESS I understand why ppl are so obsessed with writing more ��’’’taboo’’’’ stuff with him #but like. number one you could do it in a lot more interesting or tasteful way lol #and number two #half the time???? you aren’t even using canon verse or exploring his actual character??????#they’re just using him for some annoyingly horrendous poorly written sa fantasy in the shittiest AU imaginable #like what is the point #I GET IT you just wanna fuck an older man with a whack power dynamic #stop making it MY PROBLEM #stop putting it IN FRONT OF MY EYEBALLS #no matter how I try to filter I can’t fucking escape this shit 😭😭😭😭#like sorry idk I think he’s interesting because of his actual personality and abilities and history and relationship to canon #not because you can use him as a stand in for every poorly written edgy male booktok love interest #uuuggggghhhhhhhh #can I please just find some good canon verse fics #maybe with some sukume to explore that relationship #or theories about his past #or his relationship to megumi or yuuji that is NOT from the lens of him wanting to break their cervix idk #kaz rambles

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lord-squiggletits · 1 year ago

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This might be bc of my personal reading of exRDI/OP bc I'm pretty sure the authorial intent was to just write Optimus as having some fall from grace/borderline tyrannical edge but like

I really kinda wish the story had been written as more of a political intrigue, almost GOT-esque thing (sorry for the cliche) where like, instead of Optimus being written as the narrative's scapegoat to be condemned both by the characters in universe and the meta narrative, he was just written as...morally gray? With more of a focus on "this is a shitty situation where no decision is good" rather than having Optimus just be some sort of white guilt stand-in of how oh, he's a Prime so that means the most important part of his legacy is how Cybertronians are awful and he's no better than the other ones etc.

Like Barber doesn't write Optimus as EVIL or in a way where he's unilaterally condemned as a person who did more harm than good, it's just imo the vibes of the story is more of a dark political/war story where no person is clean and there's no solution to the war that doesn't involve moral compromise. Instead Optimus is forced to make these moral compromises but then everyone else in the story loses their absolute shit and immediately starts calling him a tyrant or a fascist or something.

Like idk, it was partially an issue of the set-up. Because for one, it was really hard to take it seriously when the humans went "omg he's annexing Earth the Autobots were literally the colonizers all along!" (I think the dialogue was written almost exactly like that too sjdjsidn, so bad dialogue was also another issue) yet were perfectly fine working with the Decepticons led by 1. Soundwave who personally helped execute the attempted invasion of Earth and 2. Galvatron who constantly talks about wanting to kill these puny organics. I feel like I would've been able to take humanity's fears of being colonized again more seriously if like, they hadn't literally teamed up with The Colonizer Faction just bc Soundwave promised they were good guys again. So really it's just execution + plot holes + bad dialogue.

And another thing about the annexing of Earth specifically that I wish got talked about more (mostly by the fandom more than in universe) is that like. Basically the reason Optimus did that was because the neo-Decepticons were planning to invade Earth again, but since he's not actually a formal political leader any more he has no power to actually force a war to stop them/request military back up. But also, Starscream didn't give a shit about Earth and neither did the Council of Worlds, so appealing to the government for help defending humanity wouldn't work either. So Optimus annexing Earth was an absolute clusterfuck yes, but in a way it was also kind of a shrewd political move to force Cybertron to dedicate a spot in the government for humans and thus grant humans a say on Cybertronian politics.

What I mean is that in a story/with an author like that of GOT, where the setting is grimmer and every character is morally ambiguous, I feel like Optimus would've had way more room to be an interesting and compelling character. Bc then instead of the story immediately screaming "ALL HAIL OPTIMUS DID YOU KNOW OP ANNEXING EARTH TO THE COUNCIL IS BASICALLY THE SAME AS MEGATRON ATTEMPTING TO GENOCIDE EARTH," Optimus could have been played around with more as a political figure making the shitty decisions in an effort to stop another genocide. Instead of just unilaterally condemning Optimus and immediately comparing him to fucking Megatron of all people, there could've been more focus on the politics of it with maybe some sort of theme of how "being a leader in war is an inherently unethical position where every decision you make will lead to death/conflict/hate."

Like idk I just think it would've been more interesting if the narrative spent less time going "zomg Optimus is totally a tyrant now" and instead went all in on exploring the political conflicts and how far politicians (Optimus now being one, since he's declaring wars and forcefully acting as an ambassador that no one asked for) can go on manipulation and forcing people's hands for the sake of an ultimately good cause. I mean, Windblade was doing shit like covering up for Chromia who killed people in a bombing, making backdoor deals with Starscream, and conspiring with Optimus to bypass Starscream/overthrow him as Cybertron's ruler somehow. The difference of course is that Windblade and exRID were written by two different authors with genre/thematic differences, but as a reader it is really disappointing to see two different political narratives where "a hero turned politician turning to morally gray/unethical methods to outmaneuver a deadly opponent" is treated as clever and heroic for one character, but tyrannical and worthy of ostracization of another character.

Like for God's sake this narrative where Optimus gets lambasted at every turn sometimes by people who work with/are literal tyrants/terrorists themselves is so fucking exhausting. I'd rather read a story that focused more on the idea of, well what Optimus did was unethical but on a political level it was actually advantageous in several ways. Then you could write a story that really dives into a view of like, idk... Does power inherently corrupt or is it just situations like war that allow leaders to seize power and become tyrannical? Are politics an inherently dirty field where the only way to beat your competition (and secure a decent future for the nation) is to become underhanded and manipulative yourself? Is it okay to bypass or work against rightfully elected officials when those officials are turning a blind eye to things like war and invasions and historic racism?

ExRID did somewhat touch on these themes to be fair, but I feel like in Optimus' case they were either poorly executed or just thrown away in favor of having every other character talk shit about him and how he's the worst person ever. Bc like goddammit, I do think Optimus' polarizing and sometimes bad decisions as a character DO make him skirt on the edge of tyranny and shouldn't be downplayed, but on the other hand, I feel like no one (fandom or in-universe) ever tangles with the OTHER side of the story, which is just... Would it have been unethical for Optimus to NOT have done anything? Cybertronians literally put a colony on Earth, injected Earth with alien technology and sleeper agents, used Earth as an incubating ground for dangerous elements like Ore-13, invaded Earth and killed 1 billion people-- after all the shit Cybertron did to Earth, is it not fair (even morally obligated) for Cybertronians to clean up their shit and help Earth defend itself against a crisis that Cybertronians caused? And if Cybertron's government/the individuals within are racist enough that they don't care about Earth, don't see it as their problem, and don't even see human life as meaningful since they don't live that wrong anyways... is it not, in a way, a good thing for Optimus to have overstepped his authority and forced diplomatic relationships between the two planets? So that humans had an actual political channel to go "fuck you, we're in your Council so you'd better ally with us" and so that Cybertron would be forced to go "welp can't write off these humans as Not Our Problem, guess we have to help them." Doesn't forcing Earth to be part of the Council in a way legitimize Optimus' fight to help Earth, since without a formal political office he's just a rogue general fighting an unauthorized war, but with the government involved, defending Earth now becomes a politically sanctioned act?

Like idk. I guess exRID and OP did get into some of this stuff, but as a whole it felt like the story underutilized its political elements and got bogged down in shit like pointless crossovers, and constantly pausing the narrative to have Side Character #2847 talk about how Optimus is a fascist, and having Optimus go on white guilt-esque monologues about how maybe all Cybertronians should die and are unworthy/unable to ever have a peaceful society because their society colonized other planets.

Just so much wasted potential honestly. ExRID/OP as written felt like it was going way too hard into "omg Cybertronians bad and Optimus is actually a tyrant" instead of just writing a complex story and letting readers come to their own conclusions. And also lambasting Optimus for doing things that other characters did (or characters who did even worse things), but letting those characters exist in peace while Optimus has to just be some allegory for colonialism that has to be torn down at every turn because that's Deep and Intellectual.

I just like the kinds of stories about politics that play around with the ethics of it all, like, "this politician is a shitty person but their policies actually prevented some sort of disaster from happening" or "this person did something illegal and defied the law but they did it because no one else was doing anything" or even "everyone hates this person for forcing them into a political deal they didn't want to be involved in, but the fact that they were all forced to become allies actually allowed them to cooperate and save themselves in a way they wouldn't have been able to alone" (which is pretty much literally how the annexing of Earth ended up going).

Like man I don't want to sit here being lectured/having my favorite character be lectured about how much tyranny is bad. I want my favorite character to do shitty things and then go "whoa that was shitty...but also kind of smart...but also caused a lot of problems...but also solved some other problems that could've turned awful if he hadn't forcefully resolved them."

#squiggposting #idw op love #it's less like i want OP to be framed as sympathetic or good and more like....#'yeah what he did was fucked up but it was also in many ways a good option'#like i wish we'd gotten a more politically interesting story where the goods and bads were explored #instead of it being almost unilaterally the characters all gasping and screaming any time OP #does something morally gray. even tho the entire universe is morally gray and he'#isnt even close to the worst person or political leader in it #like idk what it really comes down to is that a lot of the story felt more like #it was trying to make OP some embodiment of colonialism and how everything bad is on his shoulders #regardless of his personal actions just bc he'#s prime. it feels like it was some weird white guilt allegory pasted onto robots #instead of just writing a cool story about politics and moral grayness and how far one can go #before morally gray means turn into morally gray ends #i feel like under a different writer the story couldve been way more interesting #and it couldve even kept OP's whole tyranny arc thing but just been more well written #treating him as a character who MAY HAVE HAD POINTS ABOUT SOME THINGS #AND MIGHTVE BEEN THE ONLY PERSON WHO GAVE A DAMN ABOUT HUMANITY #AND CLEANING UP THE MISTAKES CYBERTRON CREATED THAT HARMED HUMANS TO THIS DAY #but nah instead of just letting OP's moral grayness stand on its own for reader to judge #he had to literally write in characters going 'zomg the Bots were the colonizers all along'#'[OP's leadership] is LITERALLY FASCISM' (actual dialogue btw)#ppl going surprisepika when OP decides to just kill the genocidal asshole from the golden age #like goddamn could you let OP breathe and be allowed to be morally gray #w/o having the whole story exist to make him some white guilt colonialism allegory that all the other characters scream at

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kdranime · 2 months ago

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#single's inferno #tehwan is so fucking awkward like he's just standing there and I can feel the awkwardness through the screen it's like he's just so uncomf💀#aah poor minseol she's so cute🤣 youjin is so cute too #finally jeongsu is showing a side I'm actually liking with youjin lol I wasn't expecting this #also didn't expect to like junseo and sian so much agh but what about theo #I don't think dongho likes haelin he definitely likes arin #never thought I'd feel bad for jeonsu but his face after he saw sian leaning on junseo wow made me feel sad also why did sian come in first #minseollllllll my girl I was cheering for you lmao😭#also I was sure junseo only saw minseol as a younger sister but after he said she was on his mind during paradise and was shouting tips at #her during the game I'm like? maybe not? probably yes but maybe not? lol #I was right ofc junseo doesn't like minseol aaaaah poor girl and aaah whoaa I can't believe sian turned theo down #he's also sweet and kind why didn't she go for him instead of jeongsu😩#anyway if it's between junseo and jeongsu than I reaaaaaaaaaaaally hope it's junseo bc jeongsu and sian were so boring together #or maybe she will still choose theo in the end? lmao I don't think so but you never know #between theo and junseo I'm thorn between junseo and jeongsu JUNSEO PLEASE OH GOSH PLEASE #even if junseo just saw minseol as a cute younger friend I still liked their friendship #ah seriously you can't make men feel comfortable and be friendly cause they take you for granted #you have to make them feel NERVOUS taylor swift is a psyho but maybe she was right when she said men only want love if it's torture🤣#I'm joking..... partially..... sian still probably made him a little nervous and I think ppl are a little too extreme about junseo #he's rough but he even said he's gonna try to be more gentle to sian and he didn't give minseol fake hopes he was very straightforward #but still nice #now that it's just two episodes till the end I think there was no couple or contestant that I was super into this season #in season two I loved seulki and dex so much and season three there was hajeong and gwanhee even tho I hated gwanhee sometimes #season 1 I liked jia and her puppy (forgot his name lmao) but it wasn't that special same with theo and minseol #so theory going around is that taehwan only went on the show to promote his job... and honestly I know a lot of ppl probably do this but at #at least they fake well? lmao that's why he is so weird and was so desperate to go to paradise with jiyeon bc he HAD TO TALK ABOUT HIS JOB #also he couldn't connect with anyone and was acting like a mf robot #I love that everyone was enjoying him oh he's such a green flag but I was right about him all along dude seriously creeps me out Idk why bu #I have a sixth sense for these things

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woolydemon · 1 year ago

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All your ninjago art reblogging has hit me hard with a realisation of fucking why do people bother to make Zane black if their gonna just give him the whitest blonde hair and blue eyes. It would be one thing if his hair was dyed but they put no effort into showing that it is, and he still has the brightest blue eyes ever. I get that they like the colour contrast, I get that they wanna show his ice connections, but if you wanna make a character black then at LEAST drop the euro centric beauty standards oh my god.

i do agree that I actually would like to see more of Zane with light hair that resembles actual bleached hair + brown eyes if he's going to be depicted as black.

Though I do think for the blue eyes part it is largely based on him being a robot, so like he's got led eyes that glow blue. maybe I'm not the best person to ask if this is bad or not, but I'm personally ok with this. It's not like ppl are supposed to think that's realistic (they're glowing robot eyes) + if ur depicting the other characters with non-eurocentric eye colors (like please. they're like all asian ....) as it further shows it's simply a robot feature (You can also argue his hair not resembling dyed hair is also bc of robot stuff like. Artificial hair ig??? Idk how I fully feel abt that one though)

but even then he does occasionally don looks where he's supposed to blend in with humans, so blue eyes can be a bit odd for that (in s8 though his human disguise had blue eyes in it... But whatever).

Another thing that would be cool actually for Zane to have light hair + blue eyes is for him to be an albino black guy. I do not see a lot of ppl depict characters in general like this, so it would be, as I said, Cool to see that. Still doesn't mean u can skimp out on making sure his features aren't eurocentric in this one as he's still black here

grain of salt for my takes on this since I'm not black I'm just passionate abt diversity in character design, feel free to wreck my shit or add onto it if ur more qualified to talk about it <:] ,,

#anon i also think a lot abt how ppl draw ninjago characters with white features and it makes me go bro cmon....#the other post i talked abt how i rlly specifically dont like blue eyes jay #give me brown eyed jay or give me death #like i said already i see all the characters as asian #(pls. just let me have this for my guilty pleasure butchered asian culture depiction media.#let me have them at least be asian and not white ppl in oriental aesthetic world)#so thats a no-no for me.#but also bc of the movie i attach the Pakistani headcanon onto him #so thats still asian. double no to blue eyes for me #Lloyd i can be a bit particular with too bc i like to think he has naturally brown eyes but Green Powers can make them look green.#like listen to me rn. You arent making the grandson of the guy who created this world White. You Arent. Dont Try It.#id honestly prefer if his hair was depicted as dyed too for that same reason #anywya this post is about Zane !!!!#personally i just cant stand white zane. too scary for me #and bc hes a robot i can be lenient on showing him with things like blue eyes and light hair as long as they're clearly robot features #like idk. due diligence besides that to appropriately show black features on him is the real make or break for me #thats my take a bit here ig. would still love dark eyes and realistically dyed hair #ESPECIALLY IF ITS A HUMAN ZANE AU. i wouldnt make that one blue eyes and naturally light hair #im typing this at 3am so if its incoherent and rambly. its bc it is #ask wooly???

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neverendingford · 4 months ago

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#tag talk #learning language just makes my brain vibrate on just the right frequency #my goal for the rest of this year and the year coming is to get really good at Spanish #between Language Transfer (really fucking good go check it out thanks to my sibling recommending it to me) and then #then all the immersion I've been doing with music and TV #I feel like I stand a chance of getting genuinely good at it #I have this dream of knowing several other languages but I need to start by developing the skill with a language I'm already familiar with #and now I'm medicated I can finally push for like.. an actual goal and achievement #this feels like an extension of my obsession with communication.#which now that I think about it. a lot of things I love have a strong communication aspect to them.#music. fashion. art. they all communicate ideas.#that's even maybe what I like about porn. it's a work that's designed to communicate a very specific feeling and idea #and kink is an expression of power and trust. control and release. poetry.#do these tags read like the ramblings of a mad man? am I just throwing darts at a wall and connecting them with red string?#maybe I am crazy. but I'm not wrong. I'm autistic I'm incapable of believing I'm wrong.#is that joke in poor taste? probably.#anyway. I love communication and learning Spanish is my gateway to an entire world of ideas embedded in the structure of language itself #plus it would probably help my ability to keep up with my brother's dreams of traveling abroad #and I could help him learn languages cause I love teaching and he's not as hardwired for it as I am.#oh also I bought a vocabulary book to work through because language transfer is teaching me the grammar and structure #but I need vocabulary to back it up #I have a small work vocabulary I use with the customers who don't speak English very well. shit like “this. it works?”#but even like. idk. I'm really good at understanding people with difficult speech.#one resident at my nursing home had severe muscle degeneration and couldn't do much outside of vague flopping #but she would still try to speak and I got pretty good at understanding her and having conversations while feeding her.#she was in the navy and ate a bunch of neat food in Korea and she's the reason I finally watched Jaws for the first time #and like.. my ability to understand is what let her influence my life like that. I got to connect with another human being.#like. it's a gift that enhances my life and I want to choose to shape my life around this gift.#my love and obsession with communication is something I've had my whole life and if is something constant I need to consider it #so many other things in my life are shifting and uncertain. I want to chase the constant source of joy that's a part of who I am.

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allylikethecat · 1 year ago

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Okay ally ur post times are literally perfect!

Bc I was able to read the new chapter of the equestrian au this morning before I had to go to work and it has made what was set to be a shit day wayyyyyy better.

I know this may bore the non horse people but I’m wondering are you going to go into what the “training” that Jack does is. Bc I certainly have ideas of what it could be but I’d be interested to see what you’ve acc written and even if we’re going to see Matty use those techniques or see George’s reaction when Matty DOESNT use the same techniques as Jack.

Anyway I’m sure none of this made any sense to any non-horsey people, but just wanted to reach out and say that I love this fic and I can’t wait for the next update!

-♥️

Hello my dear ❤️ anon!

Yay!! I was feeling bad about getting it up very late in the day (that was not planned real life happened RIP) so I'm glad that it ended up working out as an ideal time! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and that you have a great day at work!! (I'm sorry to hear it was looking like a shit day though- and very happy I was able to maybe play a small part in turning it around!)

I've been thinking a lot about what Fictional!Jack could be mixed up in- Fictional!Matty was NOT involved in any of that- he kept his head down and didn't get involved. I also think that it's one of those cases where no one has any proof but they just *know* what's going down and kind of turn a blind eye? I LOVE horses and I LOVE the horse industry but WOW is it a super fucked up place? People are also so extremely petty, judgmental and extremely stuck in their opinions (hence why Fictional!George has kind of decided he hates Fictional!Matty and isn't giving him a chance, he's also a extremely jealous of him and also attracted to him, which is a whole lot of emotions contributing to the anger and hatred because he's human lol) . I also think that Fictional!Jack's program would also, even if they weren't necessarily doing anything particularly awful / shady in their training to the horses, just be kind of a toxic place to be? He's got his top riders / clients and those are the people he caters towards anyone else could go eat shit and die. Fictional!Jamie is kind of a dick but he's at least fair and also not going to get safesported any time soon IYKYK 💀.

If you wanna talk more in depth about horse things and the little fictional horse world I've created, my DMs are always open!!

Thank you so much for reading and being so constantly lovely! I hope that your day is looking better and that you continue to enjoy my fics! Have a great weekend and thank you again!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #fanfiction #keep it kind #gatty #matty fic #fanfic #all the king's horses #equestrian au #ok like i didnt fully go into detail and i probably wont in the actual fic #but like idk maybe there are rumors that Fictional!Jack poles horses which is so absolutely horrible #i knew a horse that was imported and we're pretty sure he got poled at some point because if you were standing next to a jump #and he has to jump it he would panic #like actual legitimate terrified fear it made us all so sad for him #luckily his mom loved him VERY much and he was very well loved and taken care of and that would NEVER have happened to him again #or maybe things were no bueno with fictional!jack and a particular younger client who had a whole of of success #but hasn't done a whole lot lately and there were RUMORS #who knows #not fictional!Matty he kept his head down and got bucked off of babies while being verbally abused by fictional!taylor and trying not to cr #but also if i were to recount all the random stories of trainers just within a three hour radius of ME and all the wild shit that goes on #people who arent in the horse world would literally be like you are lying this is fake #and id be like when i tell you that isnt even all of it!!!#luckily my trainer is obsessed with keeping herself and her business clean

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asahicore · 8 months ago

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stupid in love - psh (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact

pairing. best friend!sunghoon x fem!reader

synopsis. One night early on in your summer vacation, your best friend Sunghoon admits that his biggest anxiety about starting college is going there as a virgin - one thing leads to another, and you end up learning a few things from each other. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that your feelings for each other surpass friendship, but with the end of summer looming over your heads, it's hard to tell where these newfound emotions will lead you.

genre. best friends/childhood friends 2 lovers, summer au, lots of fluff and smut but also some angst to spice things up, when i say smut i mean LOTS of smut. like mostly smut lol (mutual first time, ice play, crazy stuff)

word count. 22.1k

a/n. bringing this one back from the pits of my google docs guys.. its been so long since i've posted anything and im not sure when the new hoon fic will be ready so i thought i'd repost an og asahicore fic!!! the title was originally 'hot like ice' but i changed it bc this is my blog and i do what i want <3 i'd also like to say that in terms of plot this is probably not something i would write nowadays, it's very smut-heavy and thats not what im about now idk i was crazy back then... but i rmb being happy w this fic and its reception when i first posted it so i'm happy to have it back on my blog and hope u guys will like it too <3 as always lmk what u think!!

It all started with a lollipop. Well, two, to be exact. One strawberry-flavored, one apple-flavored.

You stand in front of your friend, lollipops in hand. “Which one do you want, Hoon?”

“I don’t mind, just pick whichever one you like best,” he replies absent-mindedly, eyes on the TV as he tries to find a suitable movie for this late summer afternoon.

You plop down on the couch next to him and look at the two lollipops in your hands, unable to decide which flavor you like better. “I don’t know what I feel like right now,” you announce to an uninterested Sunghoon. “I’ll just try both.”

That seems to catch your best friend’s attention. He watches as you unwrap both candies, tasting each once, twice, then as you decide you want the apple-flavored lollipop and hand him the strawberry-flavored one. He doesn’t take his eyes off of your lips as you wrap them and swirl your tongue around the candy, letting its sweetness wash over your taste buds. You raise your eyebrows when you notice his staring and he blinks a couple times, trying to snap himself out of it. “Did you want the other one?” you ask, confused by his behavior.

“N-no, I like strawberry,” he stammers, turning his gaze back to the screen in front of you and settling for ‘When Harry Met Sally,’ a movie you’ve both seen a thousand times but never get bored of.

You’re used to Sunghoon getting lost in his thoughts, so you don’t question it much. You sit back on the couch, your knee touching his. You two are no strangers to a little skinship - after being friends for almost eight years, physical contact comes naturally. You have to admit that recently, it’s started to feel different; but the idea of your friendship changing tugs at your heartstrings so much that you ignore the prickles on your skin when he hugs you or the way your stomach flips when he smiles at you, dimples and sharp canines on display. You tell yourself it’s all stupid and that you can handle so much as your knees touching.

Sunghoon, on the other hand, can't. The lollipop in his mouth right now was in yours mere moments ago and you’d given it to him like sharing saliva was no big deal. He feels like a thirteen year-old for thinking like this, but this was pretty much an indirect kiss.

He stares at the TV screen, but all he can see are your perfect lips sucking that lollipop, and his mind is desperately not trying to go there, but he just cannot help himself. Blood rushes to his dick as he pictures your mouth around him, sucking him off with as much enthusiasm as you are the lollipop. Would you like his taste? Would you look up at him with those pretty eyes of yours, smiling even with his dick stuffed in your mouth?

His own thoughts catch him off guard, and before they can get any wilder, he runs off to the bathroom, knowing he’d never live it down if you caught a glimpse of his erection. Thankfully, you don’t, and you call after him, asking if he wants you to pause the movie, to which he shouts back a strangled ‘no.’

He comes back ten minutes later, face flushed and breath heavy. “Goddamn, Hoon, I know we’re best friends, but if you’re going to dump a massive load, I wished you did it in your own bathroom and not mine,” you tease him, laughing as his face gets even redder and he opens his mouth to protest.

“I was just on my phone!” he replies, mildly offended.

“Whatever,” you say, still laughing, and turn your attention back to the movie.

Well. Sunghoon would rather have you think he just took a huge shit than have you know he came to the idea of you sucking him off and swallowing every last drop of his cum.

A few days later, you and Sunghoon are lying on his bed, the both of you on your backs, talking about this and that as you often do. It’s almost 3 a.m., and it feels almost rebellious, being up this late after months of waking up at 6, but your high school graduation was a week ago and you feel like you can do anything. The dim fairy lights you forced him to put up and the bright moon outside are the only sources of light in the room, and when you turn to look at him, you can just make out the outline of his face, the curve of his nose, the sharpness of his jaw. You've looked at him a thousand times before, so your memory makes up for what the light takes away from your eyes. You shift to lying on your stomach, propping yourself up on your elbows so you can take a better look at your friend. Something about the moonlight makes him look ethereal, and his beauty makes your heart skip a beat, but you’d never admit that to him. Out of habit, you reach out to touch his moles, gently placing your middle finger on his nose and your pointer finger on his cheek. Sunghoon closes his eyes at your touch, used to the warm feeling that settles in his stomach whenever you do that.

“Y/N?” he calls out, just as you pull your fingers away from his moles.

“Yeah?”

He opens his eyes again, meeting yours. “Is there anything you’re scared of for next year? You know, heading off to college and all that?” You shift again and lie on your back, the sides of your two bodies touching. You stare at the ceiling for a while, thinking about his question, and Sunghoon patiently waits for your answer.

“I’m scared about not making friends. I’m not the least outgoing person ever, but it’s so intimidating, not knowing anyone. And it’ll be weird not having you around. Shut up,” you warn before he can make an egotistical remark, so he just chuckles. “I’m also worried about the amount of work I’ll have. I’ve heard so many times that it’s a huge step-up from high school, the workload and the type of work and all that. What if I don’t even like the degree that I chose? I know I can change it, but it still stresses me out. Turning 18 doesn’t feel like a huge deal, but going to college does. It’s when all the responsibility hits. My mom told me to make my own doctor’s appointment the other day, and I almost cried when I had to call them. I’m not gonna have anyone to do my groceries for me. I’m scared I might get an awful roommate. I hate the idea of communal showers. I don’t even know what I want to do after college, and I know I have four years to make up my mind, but I’m scared those four years are gonna flash by and I’ll be indebted and unemployed by the end of it.” You pause to take a breath, and you can feel Sunghoon’s eyes on the sides of your face, but he doesn’t say anything. “Also, I heard that you put on a lot of weight during your freshman year.”

You turn to look at him to find him smiling at you. “Wow. That’s a lot.”

The two of you giggle, eyes not leaving the other’s. After a moment, you turn your gaze back to the ceiling and sigh. “Yeah, I know. But I’m more excited than I am scared. What about you?”

Sunghoon follows your gaze and looks up above him. He doesn’t say anything for a while, and when he finally speaks up, he says it so quietly, you almost don’t hear it. “I’m scared of going to college a virgin.”

You try to stay serious for a few seconds, but you can’t keep your laughter in and snort loudly at your friend’s words, laughing so hard your stomach starts to hurt.

“Don’t make fun of me!” he whines, hands coming up to cover his face.

It takes you a while to calm down; not only was Sunghoon’s statement ridiculous, it was so unexpected that you couldn’t stop laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you apologize, catching your breath. “I just can’t believe that that’s what you’re scared of, of all things.”

“What? It’s a perfectly reasonable concern,” he defends himself.

“Nobody’s gonna care if you’re a virgin, Hoon,” you try to reason with him, but if there is one thing your best friend is, it’s stubborn.

“I’m gonna care! What if I like a girl but I can’t bring myself to make a move on her ‘cause I have no experience?”

“But Hoon, chances are she doesn’t have a lot more experience than you do! She’ll be the same age we are, dummy. We’re not sixteen year-olds jumping into a world of twenty year-olds. Sure, some people have their first time in high school, but a lot do it at university. You’ll be fine,” you reassure. His furrowed eyebrows and pout tell you he’s not fully convinced, though.

“Oh, c’mon! If you really want to lose your virginity before leaving, we can get you laid during the summer. I’m sure we can find a girl nice enough,” you tease, jokingly patting his bicep, trying not to make a note of how firm the skin feels under your hand.

Sunghoon sighs, and you can tell he’s actually taking this seriously. “I’m not that desperate that I’d have sex with the first girl that agrees, you know. I’d still rather do it with someone…” He glances at you for just a second. “Someone I trust.”

You feel your face heat up at the possible meaning behind his words, so you look away, not wanting him to see the effect they had on you. He changes his position on the bed, and now it’s his turn to prop himself up on his elbows and look down at you.

“What about you, Y/N? Don’t you think it’d be good to get a bit of experience before going off to college? It’ll be one less thing to stress about,” he says, a small smirk playing on his lips, and his shy demeanor from moments prior is completely gone. Out of fear that his ego would get even bigger, you'd never tell him, but you love it when he gets like that - when he thinks he’s the shit and teases you mercilessly. You know he does it lightheartedly, and it never fails to bring a smile to your face.

Except right now it does. You’re not smiling, far from it; you’re looking up at your best friend, mouth slightly agape and wide eyes searching for a sign that he may be just joking. He raises an eyebrow expectantly, and your reaction is to scoff at him.

“Do I need to remind you that you’re the reason I have no experience to begin with, Park Sunghoon?” you ask, sitting up on the bed to peer down at him. He shifts again and lays on his back, his hands coming up behind his head as he beams at you.

“Am I really?”

You wish you could slap that shit-eating grin off of his face. This is not the first time you're having this conversation. “Yes, Hoon. Every time a guy was even remotely interested in me, you chased them away. I’m still not over you telling Kang Taehyun I have smelly feet! I had a huge crush on that guy!”

Sunghoon loudly laughs at the memory, and you curse yourself for cracking a smile when you see his face scrunched in laughter. “That was in Year 5, Y/N! It’s been years!”

You grab a pillow and throw it at his head, unable to not laugh along with him. “What about Bang Yedam, then? That was only last year, and you totally ruined my chances with him!”

“Listen, if you having a creepy doll collection is enough to make him not ask you out, then he must not have liked you that much.”

“But I don’t have a creepy doll collection! That’s the whole point!” you say, on the brink of desperation. You sigh at your friend who’s still catching his breath from laughing so much. “You’re just lucky they didn’t repeat your bullshit to anyone. I would’ve had such a weird reputation otherwise.”

“Of course they didn’t. I told them I’d kill them if they did,” he stated matter-of-factly, as if that was a normal and appropriate thing to do.

“Couldn’t you have threatened them that way so they wouldn’t ask me out instead of lying to them about me?”

Sunghoon stares at you for a few seconds, eyes seemingly empty of thought. “Huh. Yeah, I guess I could’ve done that.”

“Ugh,” you groan, and plop down on the bed next to him. Neither of you says anything for some time, until you break the silence again. “You know you even stole my first kiss, Hoon,” you speak softly.

“I know,” he says, voice just as quiet as yours. “You never shut up about it.”

“Why would I? I was about to kiss Lee Heeseung, of all people, the boy everybody, including me, had a crush on, but no, someone had to get between us and kiss me in his stead,” you grumble, giving your friend a harsh side-eye.

Sunghoon sighs and shakes his head as if you’re being irrational. “I don’t get why you’re so hung-up on that. Why would you want your first kiss to be because of a middle-school party dare rather than have it with your best friend, whom you know and trust?”

“It was Lee Heeseung, for God’s sake!”

“And I’m Park Sunghoon!”

Still both laying on your backs, you turn your heads to look at each other. There’s something in his eyes you’ve never seen before that you can’t quite put your finger on. The person in front of you is one you’ve known for years now and yet the look in his eyes is of such unfamiliar intensity that it makes your stomach flip. You inhale sharply when his eyes drift down to your lips, and you can’t help but mirror his actions. The atmosphere has flipped like a light switch; it was playful just mere seconds ago, the sound of your usual banter filling up the room. All of a sudden, there’s something heavy dancing in the air around you, and it makes your heart skip a bit faster and your breath a bit shallower.

Your voice is barely above a whisper when you say his name.

“Yeah?” His eyes snap back up to yours, but you're still stuck on his lips. Have they always looked so kissable?

“Why did you do that? Why did you push those boys away from me?” you ask, even though you’ve asked this question a thousand times before. You want to hear his answer again.

“I’ve already told you. You deserved better than them.” Whenever you ask him about it, Sunghoon always stops here, and you never push. But there are unspoken words left hanging that you’re dying to hear.

“Who, then? Who’d be better than them?”

He's quiet for a second. “It’s a secret,” he whispers finally, a small smirk teasing his lips, and you roll your eyes at him. But then your eyes meet again and your breath hitches. You shift to your side so you can face him more fully, and he mirrors your actions.

It’s his turn to say your name. “Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you kissed anyone since?” he asks, coming off shyer than he’d intended to.

You giggle and smack his shoulder lightly. “Why do you wanna know?”

He snickers too and, to your surprise, stops your fist from hitting him a second time, enveloping his larger hand around yours and laying it between the two of you on the bed. “Cause I should know that sorta thing. Also, if you did kiss someone since then, and I didn’t know about it, I'd be upset.”

“Why would you be mad?” you say, still giggling, trying to ignore the way your heartbeat quickens when he threads your fingers with his.

“Because you wouldn’t have told me!”

“Well…”

“No way, Y/N,” he practically shouts, already feeling betrayed, his free hand coming up to grip his heart in fake shock.

“Let me at least finish first,” you protest. He obliges, although he doesn't look very happy about it. “You know that summer 2 years ago I went away to camp?”

“Yeah, worst summer ever.”

“Well, I did sort of… get with someone, that summer,” you say, avoiding Sunghoon’s wide eyes as he gasps loudly.

“What? Who with? How come you didn't tell me?” he exclaims, letting go of your hand. He sits up on the bed and crosses his arms over his chest like an annoyed child.

“Because of this exactly.”

“What’s this?”

“Your reaction right now!” you say, sitting up as well, both of your knees grazing his. The simple touch sends a shiver down your spine that you can only hope he takes no notice of.

“Wouldn’t you be a bit upset if I told you I ‘got with’,” he air-quotes, “a random girl two years ago?”

“No? Especially not if it was two years ago?”

You both look just as confused as the other, obviously not on the same wavelength. He furrows his eyebrows and glares at you. “Well, I am.”

You throw your head back in laughter and place your hands on his knees, but when you come forward again, you overestimate the distance between the both of you and find yourself mere inches from his face. The laughter immediately dies in your throat, and you feel it go dry when your stunned reaction elicits a smirk from him. You don’t know how long you stare into his eyes, all you know is you snap out of it when his gaze drifts down to your lips once more. You’re closer now than you were before, and having him so close makes your mind spin with all the possible outcomes of such proximity. You lean back on the bed, pulling away your hands from his knees to hold yourself up on them.

“There’s no reason to,” you say, hoping that breaking the silence will dissipate some of the tension in the air. You keep going back and forth between familiar and dangerous and you don’t know how long you’ll be able to handle that atmosphere. “It’s not like anything grand happened. We made out a bit and held hands. We never spoke after that summer, otherwise you’d have known about it.”

Sunghoon lets out a low hum. His eyes are still trained on yours, and you wished he’d look away because you can’t seem to do it yourself. He still doesn’t say anything, so you speak up again. “You say that like you’ve never had girlfriends, by the way. Surely you’ve done more than just kissing.” Silence again, and you can’t decipher the look he’s giving you. “So, I don’t know what you’re so scared about, because it’s not like you have zero experience. I’m sure the girls at uni will love you, Hoon.”

He sighs and finally tears his eyes away from yours, and you’re not sure if you’re seeing things because of how dark and late it is or if there’s an actual blush creeping on his cheeks. “Sure, I’ve had a couple girlfriends, but you know they’ve never lasted long,” he says, looking down at his lap. “We made out… I guess I-” he gives you a quick glance, “I’ve touched their boobs and they’ve touched my… you know…”

You can’t help but giggle at how shy your friend is suddenly being. “Can’t even say the word ‘penis’, Hoon?,” you tease, and his eyes snap back up at yours.

“Of course I can. Penis! There.” You look at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter, Sunghoon hushing you so you don’t wake up his parents, but his hushes are louder than your laugh. After a couple minutes, you calm down and wipe your tears away, grateful for the break in the tension between you and Sunghoon.

“Anyway, yeah, I guess I don’t have that much experience. Which is why I brought it up in the first place.” And just as quickly as it’d left, the tension is back again.

You look around the room because the weight of Sunghoon’s gaze on your face is unbearable. You release a shaky breath when you feel his gentle hand on your knee, and your eyes drift to it, but you can’t get yourself to look him straight in the eyes.

“Don’t you think it’d be good to get experience before leaving for college, Y/N?” he asks, and you can tell he’s trying to sound confident, but his voice comes out breathier and shakier than he must intend it to.

“I don’t know… I don’t think it’s necessary,” you say, eyes still trained on his hand resting on your knee. He squeezes it a bit, making you finally look up at him. Is it just you, or did the room get hotter all of a sudden?

“Not everything you do has to be out of necessity, you know.”

The both of you stare at each other for a few moments. This shift in your relationship was bound to happen; you’d been feeling it more and more recently. You didn’t use to think twice about Sunghoon taking your hand in his, nor did you feel those stupid butterflies eating away at your stomach every time his gaze lingered for a second too long. You’d tried to reason with yourself that it was just teenage hormones doing their stupid job, and that you were doomed to feel some kind of attraction for your extremely handsome best friend at some point in your life, but that if you ignored it hard and long enough it would go away.

Well, now that Sunghoon’s lips are barely inches away from yours and your skin is on fire under his hand, it definitely isn’t going away.

“What would you do if I kissed you?” Sunghoon asks, eyes fluttering down to your lips. You think he’s looked at your lips more than the rest of your face in the past hour.

“I’d slap you,” you lie, gaze mirroring his.

“Would you really?” he says, and your hesitation makes him smirk slightly.

“No,” you breathe out, and it’s the answer he’s been waiting for, the answer he needs to finally press his soft lips against yours.

You don’t even have the time to savor the moment, though, because the warmth of his lips is gone as quickly as it came. He pulls back, a surprised look in his eyes, as if he can’t believe what he just did. The tension above you breaks and rains down on you like small pieces of confetti that settle comfortably on your head and shoulders. There’s a knot in your stomach but instead of twisting your insides in nervousness, it feels warm and makes you giddy for what’s to come next. Sunghoon’s surprised expression transforms into a grin at the sound of your laughter, and he can’t help but chuckle along with you.

You scooch closer to him, and his other hand comes to rest on your second knee. You can tell he’s not going to do much more, so you lean in bit by bit, and peck him softly on the lips. You both giggle again and you blame the fact that you want to feel his lips on yours again on the late hour of the night. You peck his lips once, twice more, giggling inbetween, but when you peck them a third time, he doesn’t let you pull away and keeps his lips on yours. The sudden added strength takes you aback, but it doesn’t take you long to yield to his touch and kiss him back.

Sunghoon moves his lips slowly against yours and it’s surprisingly easy to fall into his rhythm. You don’t have the most experience with kissing, but something about doing it with your best friend reassures you and your whole body relaxes as you focus on the feeling of his lips moving in cadence with yours. The knot in your stomach stays there and tightens when his hands ride up your thighs and settle on your hips, holding you snugly there. You’re only wearing shorts and his palms against your bare skin make you release a shaky breath in Sunghoon’s mouth. You pull back for a bit, surprised at your own reaction, but nothing has prepared you for the way your best friend looks at you.

His pupils are dilated, dark; his glossed-over eyes bore right into yours. Your breath was already shallow from the kiss, but it’s his gaze that renders you completely breathless. Sunghoon tightens his grip on your hips and leans in for more, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him, making his eyes snap back into focus.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what took over me. Are you okay?” he asks, as short of breath as you are, but worry laced in his voice.

“No- Yes- I mean, yes, I’m fine, everything’s fine, I just-” you shake your head, trying to gather your thoughts. “I’m just…”

“Tell me. You can tell me,” he says, rubbing gentle circles into your hips with his thumb, and the unfamiliar yet intimate gesture makes it even harder to concentrate.

“We- we’re best friends, right?” you ask, voice trembling, You ask, even though you know the answer, just because you’re afraid the line the two of you have just crossed is already miles behind you, and you won’t be able to retrace your steps.

“Yeah, of course we are,” Sunghoon reassures, head tilting to the side in confusion.

“And best friends… Do they… Well, it’s normal for best friends to kiss, right?” you say, trying to calm the overpowering urge to kiss him again.

Sunghoon chuckles and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I don’t know about that, Y/N.”

“Oh,” you breathe.

Sunghoon quickly catches on to your hesitation. “But who cares about what best friends usually do and don’t do?” he says, holding your face between his hands to make you look up at him. “I liked kissing you, just now. I really, really liked it,” he admits, red dusting his cheeks. “Did you?”

You nod, too shy to put just how much you enjoyed kissing Sunghoon into words. “Do you want to do it again?” he asks and chuckles when you nod again, eyes already on his lips. This time, you don’t stop him when he leans in and let him press his lips to yours again. His words have reassured you and you sigh into his mouth, making him smile into the kiss.

His hands ride up a bit and settle on your waist, bringing you a bit closer to him, and you circle your arms around his neck. The shyness of the first kiss is completely gone, and you’re both gaining more and more confidence, letting everything go and focusing solely on where your bodies meet. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss, and you push your body onto his, a sudden need to feel him against you, to feel his strong arms encaging you.

You pull away at the same time to catch your breaths, smiling at each other when you see how lustful the other’s expression is. Sunghoon’s eyes have glossed over once more, and you’re sure yours have too. “C’mere,” he whispers, beckoning you to him. You climb onto his lap, one knee on each side of his hips. “Is this okay?” he asks, but you don’t answer, you just lean in and kiss him again, holding his face in your hand as his hands roam your back over the thin fabric of your t-shirt. Your kisses are curious, the both of you trying to figure out what feels best as you tilt your heads from one side to the other and let your inquisitive hands travel each other’s bodies. Yours find purchase in his hair, and you revel in the sighs that escape his lips whenever you pull and tug at the strands.

As the kiss gets hungrier and needier, his hands fall down to your lower back, and then to your ass. He just cups it for a while, but after a few moments, grabs it harder and brings you close to him, making your core rub against the hardness that had been building in his sweatpants for a while now. The friction is unexpected and you can’t help the loud moan leaving your lips at the feeling. It’s a feeling you know from your own hand in the privacy of your dark room, but Sunghoon making you feel that way is so foreign that it snaps you out of the daze you’re in.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, was that too much?” Sunghoon scrambles for words, but you’re already pulling away, and he doesn’t know what to do to keep you close.

You sit back on the bed, holding your knees close to your chest. You look at your best friend in front of you who’s looking at you with a worried expression. Something in you craves to reach a hand out to him, to feel his cheeks and jawline under your palms again, to find out if he’d shiver at your touch and if goosebumps would form on his skin. He’s been your best friend for eight years, and you’ve always thought you knew everything about him, the same way he’s supposed to know everything about you. But you realize in this moment that there are things you don’t yet know, melodies to be discovered, treasures to be unearthed. Your fingertips are burning to find them all.

The sound of your name resonates inside your mind and it takes you everything not to fall back on him again. You furrow your eyebrows, confused by all those things you’re feeling. What was it that just took over you, that lit your insides up so?

You straighten your back suddenly and take in your surroundings. Sunghoon’s room is still the same old room you’ve always known, the same blue walls, the same posters he only ever changes when he finds a new interest and lets go of an old one. The same pictures from when you were 10, 12, 15, recent ones now that you’re 18; the same figure skating trophies and medals on his shelves. You turn to look at your best friend. The same soft, round cheeks contrasted by a sharp jaw; the same almond eyes, round with worry at your sudden movement away from him; the same two moles you’ve always found so comforting, for some reason. You almost reach out to touch them, to give you some sense of balance, to reassure you that things aren’t changing as much as it feels like they are. But you’re scared electricity might fry your fingers if you touch him right now. You’re scared you won’t be able to take your fingers off of him, no matter how much it stings. His face is the same as always before, but there’s something else to it, something you could probably figure out if you spent more than three seconds thinking about it, but you’re not sure you want to figure it out.

“Is everything okay? Did- Did I do something wrong?” he asks, voice laced with concern.

Before he can put a reassuring hand on your knee, you get off of the bed, and hurriedly say, “No. I just- I think I should go home.” You look everywhere but at him.

He sits up at your words, concern turned into confusion. “It’s 3 a.m., Y/N, why do you want to go home all of a sudden? You’ve stayed over plenty of times before.”

“I know, I just…” you trail off, trying to come up with an excuse. “I’ve got cramps. I think my period’s coming,” you lie. It’s better than whatever truth is threatening to bubble up.

“Oh. Right.” He scooches a bit, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Is there anything- like- can I do anything?” He sighs, steadies himself. “You don’t have to go, is what I’m trying to say.”

A few months ago, when you had finally wrapped your head around the fact that your best friend was an attractive man and that he made you feel things friends weren’t supposed to make you feel, you’d told yourself it was all just a phase that would pass soon. But feelings this strong surely cannot go away that easily.

You take a deep breath in and tear your eyes away from him. “I think I should go home,” you repeat. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Hoon.”

You turn around and start walking away, but Sunghoon is quick on his feet and stops you from going out the door. “Do you actually have cramps? Or are you just scared that our friendship might change?” He sounds out of breath, like asking this question is taking him all of his energy.

You avert his gaze and try to push past him, but he’s much stronger than you. Puberty sure played its trick on him. You sigh and look down at your feet. “I’m tired, Hoon, let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

But if there is one thing your best friend is, it’s stubborn. “I don’t wanna talk about it tomorrow. I wanna talk about it now. Did it feel nice?” he asks, and his resolute tone of voice makes you look up at him.

“I- I mean-”

“Y/N,” he starts, wrapping his arms around you and leaning in a bit, his familiar scent filling your nostrils. You have to close your eyes. “Answer me. Did it feel good?”

“Yes,” you answer without thinking.

“Is that why you’re scared?”

“Yes.” Your eyes flutter open when you feel his fingers graze your cheek. He leans in again and traps your kiss in a much softer and intimate kiss that makes your head spin and your thoughts cloud. Before you can get carried away, you pull away again, and ignore how beautiful he looks when his eyes stay closed for a couple of seconds longer. He only opens them once you tell him once again you should go home, that you need some time to think.

“Let me at least walk you there. It’s dark,” he pleads, his grip on your waist still tight.

“Hoon, I live right next door, I’ll be fine.” You let him kiss you once more and he makes you promise to call or text him tomorrow.

When you leave, Sunghoon plops back down on his bed, arm resting on his forehead as he plays back the events of the night. Had he done something wrong? Something that made you want to get as far away from him as quickly as possible? He’d tried to be gentle and to make sure you were okay with everything, but he couldn’t help but get carried away when he heard those sweet sighs of yours. He thought he was going to combust when he heard you moan, and he wanted to hear it over and over again, but you’d jumped from him like he’d told you he had killed someone.

He hopes you were telling the truth when you said you were just scared about your friendship changing. He hadn’t wanted to push and get you to stay; he knew it was weird, seeing each other in a different light all at once. He wasn’t completely oblivious; he’d felt that same shift in your relationship those past few months, just like you had, although you’d never spoken about it to each other. He knew he could never go back to seeing you as just a friend when he’d jerked off one day and you were all he could think of. He kept imagining the sounds you’d make and the way your hands would feel on him, and he’d gotten so close to getting that today, but he must’ve fucked something up and now his chances were ruined. He curses himself for letting you slip through his fingers just when he thought he finally had you.

You don’t get a wink of sleep that night. Your mind is reeling with everything that happened in Sunghoon’s room. Your fingers unconsciously keep coming up to touch your lips and feel the ghost of his touch there. Your skin turns hot at the simple thought of how perfect his lips had felt against yours, and you toss and turn in your bed as you consider what might’ve been, had you stayed with Sunghoon.

But it’s all happening too quickly, and even though you’ve been curious in more ways than one about your best friend for the past few months, you hadn’t expected to kiss him and to enjoy it so much on a random summer night. Your thoughts only seem to calm down and your eyes finally close just as the sun starts to rise.

The next day, Sunghoon wakes up in the early hours of the afternoon and checks his phone right away. A couple of notifications, but nothing from you. A text from Jake in their group chat with Jay asking to hang out at Sunghoon’s pool, to which he replies that they can come whenever. He taps a quick one out in the shower, memories of your scent and your lips on his getting him to finish quicker than he’d like to admit. He’s in the middle of a late breakfast when Jake and Jay spawn at his door, swimming trunks already on. Still nothing from you.

It doesn’t take Jay and Jake long to figure out that something is up with their best friend. It’s not like he does much usually, but today especially, he makes no effort to entertain them. He laughs at their jokes, but it feels like he laughs because he hears other people laughing rather than because he genuinely finds them funny. He barely even reacts when the inflatable pool ball hits him right in the face.

His friends don’t say anything until they’re all seated at a table by the pool, sipping on some ice-cold Coke. The air is still warm but the sun is low in the sky, hidden behind the house. Sunghoon is still lost in his thoughts, unblinking eyes fixed on a random point in the distance. Jay and Jake exchange a look before the former breaks the silence.

“Is everything alright, Hoon? You look out of it today.”

Jay’s voice brings him back to the here and now, and his eyes jump back and forth between his two friends who are looking at him expectantly. “Huh? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just tired. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” he says, leaving some of the truth out, but his friends know him better than he gives them credit for.

“Are you sure? I feel like there’s something you’re not telling us. You usually act like a little bitch when you’re tired, you don’t get all…,” Jake shakes his hand in front of his face, “distant like that.”

Sunghoon bites his lip, debating whether he should tell his friends about you or not. No matter how stupid they may be, they also know both of you quite well, so they might prove not completely useless, he thinks.

“Y/N and I kissed last night.”

It’s almost comical, how Jay and Jake bring their head forward in astonishment, how wide their mouth gets, how their eyes look like they might pop out of their sockets, and how they say “You what?!” at the same time. On a normal day, Sunghoon would've laughed.

“We kissed,” Sunghoon repeats, eyes drifting down to the ground in front of him as he rubs his neck in embarrassment.

“Fucking finally!” Jay exclaims.

“Told you it was gonna happen. No way you two were going to stay just besties forever,” Jake teases, punching Sunghoon in the arm. “How was it?”

Sunghoon sighs and leans back in his chair, letting his head hang back. “Really fucking amazing,” he chuckles. His friends holler for him, snickering like 12-year old boys who just saw a hot girl walk past.

“God, I saw this coming from miles away. I don’t know why you kept on insisting nothing was gonna happen between you two,” Jake says, beaming.

“I really didn’t think anything would… I just… Started seeing her differently recently, I guess.” Sunghoon shrugs, sheepishly smiling to himself.

“So, what happened? Did you guys just kiss or…?” Jay asks, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Jake giggles at the insinuation of sex but has a curious glint in his eyes when he waits for Sunghoon’s answer.

“Yeah, um, we just kissed cause she- she sort of ran away?” Sunghoon admits, wincing at the recollection.

“You what?!” Chaeyong’s voice rings out in the food court of the mall where you’re currently sitting, halfway through your strawberry milkshake.

“Keep it down, would you?!” you scold her, smiling apologetically to the people staring at you and your friend.

“If it was so good, why the hell did you run away, Y/N?”

“I just- I don’t know… Freaked out, I guess…” you mumble, cowering under the harsh look she gives you.

“Well, have you talked since?” You don’t reply, just guiltily avoid her gaze. “Y/N!”

“I know, I know! I just… don’t know what to do. ‘Hey, nice making out with you last night, bit weird since we’ve been best friends since we were 11, but that’s fine, right?’ Ugh! That’s so stupid,” you complain, flopping back in your chair.

“That’s exactly what you should say. Going MIA on him will just make things weirder. Plus you’ve never gone more than 24 hours without speaking so one of you will eventually cave in. It should be you,” she says, looking at you with a raised eyebrow as she takes a sip from her milkshake.

You scoff when she gives you a ‘you know I’m right’ look. “I’ll think about it on the way home and text him. There.”

And you do think about it on the way home; but you don’t get the opportunity to send the text, because as soon as you get off the bus at the stop right across from your house, you see Sunghoon sitting on the bench of your porch, looking around nervously and rubbing his hands on his denim shorts. You chuckle to yourself; who knew he got so distressed from not speaking to you for a day?

He stands up when he sees you approaching and raises his hand in a quick wave. “Hi, Hoon,” you greet, and you can feel his whole body relax when you hug him. So, you don’t hate him, he thinks. You sit down on the bench together. “Sorry I didn’t text you. I didn’t know what to say after… last night,” you admit, hugging your knees to your chest as you sit facing him.

“Yeah, I figured,” he chuckles, smiling shyly at you. “I was scared you’d never want to see me again.”

You look at him with wide eyes, mildly offended, and punch his arm. “How could you think that?!”

“Well, you did sort of run away from me last night,” he says, lightly punching your arm in return.

You tut in defeat. “I did, didn’t I?”

“Yeah. I’m just glad you didn’t walk past me straight into your house just now.”

You chuckle and rest your head on top of your knees. “That would’ve been a bit much, even for me.”

Sunghoon lets out a puff of air through his nose in response, and then the two of you sit in silence. You’re contemplating what to do next when your friend pulls you from your thoughts. “Should we, um…” He shuts his eyes tightly in reflection for a second before opening them again and looking straight at you. “Should we just pretend like last night didn’t happen? Would that make you feel more comfortable?”

His words take you aback and your eyes widen a bit; you hadn’t even thought pretending nothing happened last night was an option, because you didn’t think you’d ever be able to actually get it out of your head. Even now, if you stare at Sunghoon for too long, your gaze will naturally drift downwards or you’ll get a flashback of his large hands around your waist. But apparently, if he can offer to pretend like the previous night wasn’t a thing, then it must not have been such a huge deal to him. You quickly try to hide your disappointment and nod at your friend. “Right. Yeah. Sure.”

Silence makes its way between you two again. It makes the late afternoon breeze a bit chillier and the physical distance between you and Sunghoon feel much bigger than it actually is. Wanting it to go away quickly, you ask, “Do you wanna watch a movie, then?”

Sunghoon’s never looked so relieved about watching a movie, and he immediately accepts your offer. You get some popcorn ready while he searches for a movie to watch. He clicks on a horror movie that looks like it’s got a cliché storyline and awful acting, but you’re happy for any sort of distraction when Sunghoon is sitting so close to you.

You and Sunghoon always sit close-by when you watch something together, knees and shoulders brushing against each other. Tonight isn’t any different, except that your skin burns everywhere it touches his. You can smell the faint scent of chlorine in his hair, and it’s so intoxicating you want to bury your face there and breathe it in.

You’re thirty minutes into the movie and still nothing’s happened when Sunghoon puts his arm around you, letting his hand hang over your shoulder. The sudden warm contact makes you take a sharp intake of breath as memories of the previous night come flooding once again. You don’t know what you were expecting, but Sunghoon simply rests his hand there and doesn’t do anything more for another thirty minutes, except for squeezing your shoulder when there’s a small jumpscare, making you chuckle at him. This isn’t much more than what you’re used to with him, but knowing your friend, he must be thinking the ball is in your court. So you scooch a bit closer into his side and rest your head on his shoulder, the scent of his skin even stronger now that your nose is so close to his neck. You feel his chest raise and relax as he sighs deeply and tightens his hold around your shoulders. His small reactions to you spur you on and you decide to wrap an arm around his waist and you feel him flinch oh-so-slightly at your touch in such a sensitive spot. He starts to rub circles into your shoulder and rests his head on top of yours, and your whole body relaxes into his. This is so much more than what you’re used to with him; and yet, you so readily melt under his touch.

You can barely focus on the movie because of how close Sunghoon is. When a particularly scary ghost jumps on the screen, you flinch and hide your face in his neck, and he giggles at your reaction, hand coming up to stroke your hair comfortingly. It only takes you a few seconds to realize what position you’re in, and you release a shaky breath as you slowly lift your head towards Sunghoon, only to find him already looking at you, seemingly having had that same realization. When his eyes drift down to your lips, you know you’re done for.

You call out his name, and he’s already answered ‘Yes?’ before you’ve had time to finish uttering the second syllable. “I don’t think I want to pretend last night never happened,” you admit, holding his waist a bit tighter.

“Good. Me neither,” he breathes out before leaning down and trapping your lips in his, the kiss releasing all your pent-up frustration of the day. The world seems to melt away with his lips on yours, the movie already long forgotten. Sunghoon pulls you into his lap and you slide your palms up from his waist, against his chest and to his shoulders before wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing your body closer to his. His hands are sitting on your hips, fingers lightly pressing into them and your lower back. Now that you both seem to know what you want, it’s so easy, just falling into this kiss.

His tongue darts out to lick your bottom lip and you gladly open your mouth for him, letting his tongue explore it. You haven’t kissed someone like this in ages, maybe ever, but Sunghoon takes the lead and effortlessly gets you to follow his rhythm. When a flick of his tongue against yours feels particularly nice, you arch your back and press your chest into his, making him smirk into the kiss. This time, when he brings your hips down onto his, letting you feel his erection against your clothed core, the feeling doesn’t make you want to run away; instead, you want to feel it again and again.

You fall into a nice pace of rubbing yourself against him, eliciting hushed moans and loud breaths from the both of you. You can’t concentrate on kissing him and grinding down on him at the same time, so you drop your head down to bury your face in his neck, leaving a few pecks there but mostly moaning against his skin, enjoying how your hot breaths make him shiver.

You can’t keep a whine from escaping your lips when he bucks his hip into yours and his tip brushes directly against your covered clit, instantly bringing a hand up to your mouth. “Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes. “I know we gotta keep quiet ‘cause of your parents but the sounds you’re making are so fucking pretty. I wanna hear them over and over again.” His words make you whimper against his neck and you feel your slick starting to pool in your panties.

“H-hoon. This feels so good,” you moan, breathing warmly against the shell of his ear.

“I know, right? Feels so good,” he chuckles, hands grabbing at your ass to bring you harder down onto him. His actions are about to elicit another moan from you when, all of a sudden, a loud jumpscare in the movie makes you jump away from the boy underneath you and yelp in fear, which in turn makes him scream in surprise. You look at each other, panting and eyes open wide, hands clutching at your hearts, until you burst into laughter. The fun moment is short-lived, however, as your mom rushes down the stairs not ten seconds later, frantically asking if everything is alright.

You sit up straight at the sight of your mother and clear your throat. You’re thankful for the dark of the room which hides your and Sunghoon’s swollen lips and flushed faces from her view. “Sorry, mom, we were just watching a scary movie. We’re fine.” She sleepily nods and walks back up the stairs, and when she’s back in her room, Sunghoon and you exchange a look and erupt into another fit of smaller, quieter giggles.

That night, after Sunghoon’s gone home, the both of you get yourselves off in your own beds, the strong memory of each other’s lips and hands bringing you both to your releases. Without even realizing it, you moan out Sunghoon’s name as your orgasm hits. The window from your room doesn’t face his; but still, your heart is beating so loudly that you’re afraid the sound might carry from your open window to his. You get up and close it.

Now that you and Sunghoon both know you want to kiss each other, you do it everywhere: in his pool, his back pressed against the wall; on the sunchairs when you were supposed to be drying off; on your beds in the middle of the night, none of your parents or siblings suspicious of anything; in front of your house, because even though he was supposed to just walk you home, he couldn’t keep himself from tasting you one last time; in the backseat of his car after an evening with your friends and he drove you two home.

You spend a good two weeks of just kissing before your body starts to crave something more. At some point, Sunghoon’s hands resting nicely on your waist or sometimes, if he’s feeling bold, grabbing at your ass, start to not be enough anymore. You knew you wouldn’t be satisfied with just kisses and sweet touches when one day, his hands slowly but surely slid up your naked belly before grabbing onto your bikini-clad breast, lighting your whole body up on fire. He’d slipped his hand underneath your swimming top and rolled your nipple between two fingers and you had felt his dick twitch under your core when you let out a loud moan at the new yet so pleasurable feeling.

You know what it is that you want, but it makes you feel dirty. Your fingers have made you finish a hundred times before, but wanting Sunghoon to make you feel that way is a whole other story. Is that even what he wants? Would he be weirded out if you asked him about it? Is there even the sliver of a chance that maybe, just maybe, he has those same thoughts about you, and wants you to make him feel good as much as he wants to make you feel good?

If his grunts and the way he ruts into you when your make-out sessions get particularly steamy are any indication, then the answer to those questions would respectively be yes, no, and yes.

You’re lying on a sunbed one afternoon, letting the sun dry off your wet skin from the pool, when you finally muster the courage to tell Sunghoon about your wishes. After all, he is your best friend, and you know you can talk to him about anything. Even when that ‘anything’ involves his fingers inside of you and his dick in your mouth.

“Sunghoon?” you call out, turning your head to look at your best friend. He’s bathing in the sunlight without a care in the world. His skin has tanned a bit since summer started three weeks ago and his muscles are even more defined after all that swimming and working out he’s been doing. You want to reach out a hand, to feel the taut skin of his abs and chest under your palms, and to maybe then slide your hand down until you feel his hard-on underneath his swimming trunks. Your chairs aren’t far apart and you could do it from where you are, but you’d rather ask him first.

“Yeah?” he answers without turning towards you.

You take a deep breath in before you start talking again. “You know how you said it could be good for us to get… experience before going to college… And how we’ve been kissing these past couple weeks…”

“Yeah, I know,” he chuckles.

“Well… people do more than just kissing, right?” you ask, voice slightly shaky. This seems to pique his interest as he turns to look at you.

“Yeah?”

You hope you’re not just imagining the enthusiastic tone in his voice. “I think… I think we should try that too, don’t you think?” you ask, eyes not leaving his as he sits up on his chair and turns his knees towards you, fully facing you now.

“Yeah, I agree. I completely agree.” He stares at you for a few moments as if in disbelief. “Do you want to- Should we- Let’s go up to my room, yeah?” he offers, standing up and reaching his hand out to you. You gladly take it.

You and Sunghoon are a giggling mess as you practically run up the stairs, unable to get to his room quick enough. As soon as the door is closed behind you, you wrap your arms around each other, your lips finding his immediately as he walks you back to his bed. When you feel the back of your knees hit it, you detach yourself from him and lay on it, elbows holding you up as you look up at him expectantly.

“Fuck,” he whispers, leaning in to hover over you. He traps your lips in a short but sweet kiss before pulling back and murmuring against your lips, “Have I ever told you how pretty you are, Y/N?”

You beam at his words but decide to tease anyway. “You always go on and on about how pretty you are, but never about me.”

He giggles and pecks your lips again. “Well, I’m telling you now. You’re gorgeous.” You kiss him to hide your flustered face, pulling him so close to you he’s practically laying on top of you. Your hands are a bit more curious than usual, your kisses hungrier, the both of you anticipating what’s to come.

You grind against each other, the feeling of his erection against your barely covered core enough to send your mind into a frenzy. You forget everything around you when you feel Sunghoon pull back in the slightest, far enough so that he can look at your face and gauge your reactions but not too much that you still feel his hot breath on your lips. One of his hands is holding the back of your head as the other travels downwards, stopping for a second on your breast to massage it lightly before continuing its journey. It ever-so-slightly brushes against your core, making you buck your hips up into his touch, but his hand is already gone leaving you whining and pouting and him chuckling at your cute reaction. “You want it that bad, huh?” he teases.

You scoff, not wanting to let your friend know the effect he has on you. You press your palm against his clothed erection and he hisses at the unexpected contact. “So do you, Hoon.”

When he presses his lips to yours again, you both smile into the kiss. You cup his jaw and tangle your fingers through his hair, and his hand slips from under your head and joins his other hand on your thigh, grabbing at both of them, fingers slightly digging in your skin. He’s so, so close to where you want him most, and he seems to have noticed your growing impatience by the way you squirm underneath him. Seeing you so needy for him only makes him needier for you; he has more experience than you, so you probably expect him to take the lead, but the truth is, he has no idea what the fuck he’s doing.

“Y/N?” he murmurs, face buried in your neck as he leaves a trail of wet kisses there.

“Yeah?”

“What do you want me to do?”

The question takes you a bit by surprise. You pull away to look at your friend. His eyes are completely glossed-over, and yours are probably the same. “Oh. I don’t know. I just… want you to touch me, I guess,” you say, voice a bit quiet.

“I don’t know how to do that,” he admits sheepishly. He kisses your neck and cheeks before pecking your lips. “Could you- could you show me? How you do it? And I can show you how I do it?”

You take a second to take his words in. Was he suggesting that you touch yourself in front of him, and that he do the same?

This was like a dream come true.

“Yeah, sure.”

Sunghoon giggles in response, and you can’t help but crack a smile too, even though the idea of getting yourself off in front of your friend, no matter how appealing, is still a bit nerve-wracking. “You first,” he says, a mischievous glint in his eyes, and you roll your eyes at him.

You sit back against the headboard of the bed and slip a hand underneath your swim bottom, the other hand coming up to cover your eyes in an attempt to escape Sunghoon’s heavy, lustful gaze. “None of that. I wanna see you,” he says, pulling your hand away from your eyes and resting it on a pillow next to you. “And if you keep these on, I won’t be able to see anything,” he says, looking down at your bikini top.

Before you can protest, he comes to sit on his knees in front of you, kissing your neck and letting his hands roam your back. “I wanna see all of you.” It’s so easy, untying your string bikini, he almost thinks you wore it on purpose for him to take it off. You avoid his gaze as he takes your top off of you, leaving you half-naked in front of him. “So pretty,” he whispers, and you can’t help but look at him, slick pooling between your legs from the fascination he’s looking at your breasts with. He trails kisses down your neck until he reaches them, taking a nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it, then looks up to see your reaction. You never knew your nipples were this sensitive, and you can’t help but arch your back at his touch and moan loudly, hand flying up to tug at his soft hair. He releases your nipple with a pop and moves sideways to pay the same attention to the other one, but Sunghoon is impatient and doesn’t waste too much time on it; he knows he can come back to your boobs later anyway. Right now, you’ve got a hand between your legs, and that’s what he’s dying to see.

“Can I take this off, too?” he asks, looking up at you as his fingers hook on the sides of your swimming bottoms, waiting for you to nod. His eyes don’t leave your glistening core as he pulls the thin fabric down your legs, discarding it somewhere on the floor of his room. He lays on his belly and kisses the inside of your knee as he holds your thighs in his large hands, still transfixed by your pussy when he says, “Show me how you do it, please.”

You both take a sharp breath in when you start moving two fingers in gentle circles over your clit, already wet from making out with Sunghoon. Your fingers are nimble and know exactly what to do after years of doing this, but the pulse in your core is even stronger now that your best friend is watching your movements this intently. He looks like he’s scared to blink in case he might miss something. You can’t take your eyes off of his face; you’ve never seen him so fascinated by something, so eager to learn. It makes you want to put on a show for him.

A surge of confidence hits you out of nowhere as you slide your digits down your folds, gathering some slick before sliding them back up to your clit and rubbing it a bit faster, a bit harder, your moans growing louder and higher in pitch. With your free hand, you tug at the base of Sunghoon’s hair and make him look up at you. You release his hair and bring your pointer finger up to your mouth, sucking on it and swirling your tongue around it, and Sunghoon’s mind is taken back to that day a couple weeks ago when you had sucked on those lollipops. Oh, how things have changed since then. Not that he’s complaining. “Fuck, that’s hot,” he breathes out, eyes zeroed in on your lips and mouth slightly agape.

You smirk at his reaction, stomach on fire with the feeling of having this kind of power on him. When you’ve wet your finger enough, you bring it down to your slit, circling around your hole before entering it, releasing a loud moan for good measure. Sunghoon is mesmerized by the quickening with which your finger slips in and out of you, the fingers on your clit never relenting. He doesn’t even realize he’s released one of your thighs to palm himself over his shorts until you notice it yourself and tut in disapproval.

“Come and help me, Hoon,” you say, and the boy snaps out of his daze at the sound of his nickname. He nods slowly, changing his position so that he’s laying between your legs, head dangerously close to your core. You slip your other finger out of your hole and he takes that as a sign to replace it with his own. One hand still gripping your thigh, he imitates your previous actions as he gets his pointer finger wet with his saliva before pressing it between your folds, right underneath your clit where your fingers are still rubbing circles, sliding it down towards your slit, and finally pushing it in.

“So warm… So wet, too,” he whispers in wonder, making you cover your eyes with your forearm out of shyness.

“Oh my God,” you moan, arching your back and letting your head drop to the side on the pillow. Sunghoon’s finger is much thicker and longer than your own, and it stretches you out and hits a deep spot inside you you never could, no matter how much you tried.

“Like this?” he asks, eyes curious as they bounce back and forth between your face and your entrance sucking his finger in.

“Yes, yes, just like that, you can also- oh- you can also curve it upwards a bit- fuck, yeah, just like that, Hoon, you’re doing so well,” you say, the praises just flying out of your mouth.

This seems to instill some confidence in him, as he cocks an eyebrow at you and speeds up his actions. “Yeah? My finger making you feel good, Y/N?”

“Oh, shut up,” you bite back, but immediately let out a long whine when he easily inserts a second finger in your soaking pussy. He curves them inside you just like you told him to, and the feeling of his fingers filling you up and your own quick ones on your clit are creating a familiar knot in your stomach that is so close to breaking. That is, until Sunghoon pulls your wrist away from your clit.

“Y/N… Can I?” he asks, and you’re not sure what he’s planning, but nod anyway. He wastes no time before pressing his tongue flat down on the sensitive bud, and you actually feel like your soul might leave your body. Fingers knuckle-deep inside you, he licks and sucks at your clit, and the warmth of his tongue against your folds is what makes you tumble over the edge, tightly gripping his hair and bucking your hips into his mouth.

“Oh my God… Oh my God, Hoon, please, don’t stop, please,” you beg, voice getting higher and whinier as you cum all over his tongue. He continues eating you out until it gets too much and you have to tell him to stop. He hikes his body up yours, pecking you sweetly on the lips when he reaches them.

“Your turn,” you announce and hook your legs over his hips to straddle him. You’re about to lean in for a kiss when you notice how lovingly he’s looking at you: his eyes are soft and a small smile is playing on his lips. It takes you aback, but you’d be lying if you said butterflies didn’t spread in your stomach. “W-why are you looking at me like that?”

His grin gets a bit wider. “Did I make you feel good?”

“Y-yeah…,” you admit, averting your gaze from him.

“I’m glad. You taste good, by the way. Sweet.” You want to kiss the devilish smirk off of his face.

You scoff at your friend, glaring a bit. “Whatever. Sit up,” you order, but it just makes him smirk more.

“Yes, ma’am.”

You look up at him to check for confirmation, and when he nods, you hook your fingers under his swimming trunks, taking them off of him along with his boxers underneath. His already fully-hard cock springs free and slaps against his stomach, and you curse yourself for your reaction that will surely just inflate his ego, as if it wasn’t already massive. Your mouth hangs open, eyes zeroing in on his length, flushed red from lack of attention and what you can only guess is precum leaking at the tip. It's straight from a porno.

“Like what you see?” Sunghoon teases, making you look up at him, and you can only stupidly nod. You take the position he was in earlier, laying your head on his thigh and caressing the other, letting it ride up to rub his inner thigh and the tiniest bit over his cock, making his smirk vanish as he takes a shaky breath in.

“Show me how you do it,” you say, echoing his words from earlier. He gulps, finally realizing that he was going to have to masturbate in front of your curious eyes just as you had. He spits on his open palm and spreads the precum over his length with his thumb, lubing himself up before gripping the base and starting to move his hand up and down. You watch as his head falls back against the pillow when his palm grazes over his tip and his movements pick up some speed.

You rub his palms over his thighs, itching to get closer to his cock and make him feel as good as he had done to you earlier. Tentatively, you reach out to grab his balls in your hands, massaging them softly, feeling satisfied when a loud moan leaves his throat. “Oh, f-fuck, that feels good, Y/N,” he breathes out, voice much higher than you’re used to. If he thought that felt good, then nothing could’ve prepared him for the feeling of your soft and warm tongue kitty-licking his balls, then taking turns sucking each one into your mouth and releasing them with a pop. “Where the fuck did you learn how to do that?” he asks, involuntarily bucking his hips into your face.

You can’t help but giggle, and Sunghoon thinks he might come from the sweet sound contrasted with your lewd actions alone. “I read a lot of fanfiction,” you explain, and he doesn’t question it. If Wattpad taught you how to suck dick, then so be it.

You wrap your hand around his and tell him to keep going so you can get an idea of what pace and movements he likes, and you graze your fingernails over his abs and chest with your other hand, chuckling at how sensitive he is when you lightly pinch his nipples. Sunghoon takes his hand off of himself, laying both of his hands palms up next to him on the bed, so you decide to literally take things into your own hands. Trying to recreate what he did before, you spit into your palm and wrap your fingers around his tip, bringing your hand down in a swirly motion to the base of his shaft. You do that a few times, asking, “Like that?” to get confirmation from Sunghoon.

“Just like that, baby,” he says, not even taking notice of the pet name; but you do, and your face immediately flushes, surprised at how much you like it.

“Baby?” you repeat, but he’s too lost in his pleasure and just hums in response. His reaction eggs you on, and you lick a long stripe from his base to his tip, swirling your tongue around it and humming at the bitter but not unpleasant taste of precum there. When another moan escapes his throat, you take his tip in your mouth, at first just shallowly thrusting your head, but then trying to take more and more of him.

You’re so focused on what you’re doing that you don’t even realize how quickly he’s panting and how his grunts start to get whinier until he’s moaning out your name. “A-ah, Y/N, feels so good, ‘m gonna cum, fuck-”

He goes silent as he shoots his release down your throat, eyebrows deeply furrowed and mouth open wide in pleasure. There’s so much of it and you can’t swallow it all, so you pull your head back, catching your breath, and a hot string of cum hits your chin and your throat. Sunghoon takes a look at you and the sight of you with some of his cum makes his dick twitch before he plops back down on the bed. You giggle as you take tissues from the bedside table (cause of course he’s got tissues next to his bed) and wipe away his seed, then lie down next to him, brushing away the hair that’s sticking to his forehead with sweat and peppering his face with soft kisses.

He opens his eyes and smiles, turning his head to look at you before engulfing you in a bear hug, sweaty bodies sticking together but neither of you minding it. “That was so good, Y/N. What the fuck,” he sighs, pecking your forehead.

You hum, nuzzling your nose into his neck. “I know, right? Who knew you could use your mouth for other things than saying stupid shit,” you tease.

He pulls back and gives you a look that tries to be stern, but you know he’s joking. “Do I need to remind you again, young lady?”

You giggle and peck his lips, forcing him out of character as his dimples appear on his cheeks. “Later, definitely.”

And after that day, he makes sure to remind you time and time again of how good his mouth feels on you. You should’ve seen it coming with how amazing of a kisser he was; but truly, there was nothing like cumming on your friend’s tongue.

You’re relieved to find that not much has changed, after all; you and Sunghoon still play around in the pool, watch stupid movies and hang out with your friends like always. Sure, there are stray hands here and there, or looks that last a little too long and mean a little too much, but if anything, it just makes your friendship more playful and exciting.

You’re both open with what you like and don’t like, so it doesn’t take either of you to figure out exactly how to make the other come undone embarrassingly quickly. (The shortest amount of time it took him was 2:38 seconds - yes, he timed it - and he hasn’t let you live it down since.) You like it when he presses his large hand down onto your lower tummy while he eats you out, or when he sits you between his legs and whispers all sorts of things as his fingers work their magic inside you and on your clit. He likes it when you get down on your knees in front of him and look up at him as you suck him dry, or when you sit in his lap and kiss his neck and play with his hair while he plays video games. And don’t even get him started on when you palmed him over his sweatpants while you watched a movie with Chaeyong, Jay and Jake, making sure that the movements under the blanket went unnoticed by them. He wanted to punish you after they left, he really did, but you took him in your mouth right there in the living room and gave him an orgasm that had his thighs shaking for five minutes afterwards. You were pretty proud of yourself for that one.

You also find out that he hates it when you tease and edge him, which only makes you do it more; the only problem is that, if you do that, he’ll make you ride his thigh and won’t help you at all. His proud smirk and snide praises combined with the feeling of his thick thigh underneath your core were more than enough to get you to your end, though.

And truly, nothing has changed, especially not Sunghoon’s special talent in pushing boys away from you.

“What do you mean, Lee Heeseung is coming back?” he heatedly asks, slamming his glass of lemonade down on the outdoor table so hard you’re scared it might break.

“It’s the summer, of course he’s coming back. He just stayed behind for a bit to enjoy a few weeks of the city without college, and now he’s coming back here,” Jake explains, shrugging.

“Do you know when he’ll be here?” you ask, far too much excitement in your voice to Sunghoon’s taste.

“Just in a couple days.”

Sunghoon has smoke coming out of his ears when he sees how much you perk up at the news of your old crush being back in town for summer. He likes the boy, but he hates that you like him. And since Heeseung is friends with Jay, Jake, and by association Sunghoon, begrudgingly so, he’ll definitely see lots of him in the upcoming months. And if Sunghoon sees Heeseung, then you’ll see Heeseung, too. And that, Sunghoon doesn’t like.

You notice something is off with him that afternoon because of how uncharacteristically quiet he is. Sunghoon, ever the loud introvert, is always arguing for no reason and laughing louder than everybody around him. So when he merely chuckles at his friends’ numerous displays of stupidity in the pool and doesn’t even say anything in protest to you getting on Jake’s shoulders to play against Chaeyoung and Jay, you know something is definitely up. You also have a good idea of what that something might be, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t find it endearing.

You stay behind when your friends leave in the early evening. Without a word, you and Sunghoon pack away the inflatable toys in the pool cabin and clean up the table, putting the dirty glasses in the sink. You do the dishes while he prepares sandwiches for the two of you, which he insisted on doing after he heard your stomach grumbling. You watch the latest Kurtis Conner video as you eat and can’t help but notice that he doesn’t even chuckle at any of the jokes or skits when he’d usually be clutching his stomach in laughter.

When you’re done eating, you take a resolute breath and pause the video, but Sunghoon doesn’t even notice, only snapping out of his daze when you call out his name.

“Huh?” When his eyes find you, he almost looks surprised to see you, as if he’d forgotten you were there.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” you ask, slightly frowning. “You look so out of it today.”

“Huh? I’m fine, nothing’s wrong,” he says dismissively and presses play, but you quickly pause the video again.

“I’m your best friend, Sunghoon, I know when something’s the matter and I know when you’re lying. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but don’t pretend everything’s fine when we both know that’s not true.”

He peers at you for a moment, cursing you for knowing him so well. He crosses his arm and averts his gaze, pouting like an angry child. “I hate it when you’re right.”

You giggle and make your way around the counter to him, standing inbetween his legs and wrapping your arms around his neck to make him look up at you. His hands come naturally up to your waist. “I just…” he starts, then immediately stops himself with a sigh., “You’ve always had a crush on Heeseung. But these are our last couple months together, and I don’t want somebody else taking up your attention…”

He buries his face between your breasts to hide his blush, and you can’t help but giggle again. “Stop laughing at me!” he protests, but the muffled sound of his voice just makes you laugh more. You stroke his hair and press a gentle kiss at the top of his head.

“Sure, I’m happy Heeseung’s coming back. But there’s no one I’d rather spend my summer with than you, Sunghoon, you should know that.” He leans back to look up at you with puppy eyes and a small pout. You cup his face, admiring how cute he looks like this, and smile softly down at him.

“Really?”

“Really,” you answer, and he leans in for a kiss.

It’s a soft one. It’s a patient kiss, neither of you urging to get somewhere else, to do something more. It reminds you of that kiss in his room a few weeks ago, when you were still curious and discovering each other. From then on, your kisses had become more feverish, more eager, more playful. But now, you’re taking your time. For now at least, neither of you is going anywhere. So your lips melt together slowly, and when you take breaks to breathe, you look each other in the eyes and smile before leaning back in.

It’s when you sigh against his lips, eyes still closed as you pull away, that it hits him. I could do this forever, he thinks.

I could sit here with my arms around her waist and her lips against mine and the smell of chlorine and the sound of her laugh forever and I’d never get tired of it, he thinks, but immediately afterwards, he realizes he won’t get to do this forever. Summer will end, you’ll both head off to college, and you’ll only get to see each other every few months until another summer comes. And who knows what might happen until then?

You might meet someone and realize Sunghoon isn’t all that; hell, he might meet someone, but he highly doubts anyone could even come close to the way you make him feel.

“Hello? Earth to Sunghoon?” you quietly joke, looking down at him with an affectionate look in your eyes. You press the pads of your fingers to his two moles before replacing your fingers with your lips, giving each one a quick peck. “You were up on the moon for a minute there.”

Sunghoon hums softly, smiling as he lets himself melt under your touch. “Sorry. It’s just really hot, isn’t it?” he says, a stupid excuse he uses as a blanket to cover his feelings. There is some sweat beading at his hairline, which helps make his lie more believable, but you don’t need to know it’s not just because of the summer heat.

Slowly, your smile turns mischievous, and Sunghoon can tell you have an idea in mind. “It is pretty hot… Wait here.”

He watches as you fill a tall glass with ice from the dispenser in the fridge and pop an ice cube in your mouth, a devilish smile on your face, and laughs when that smile is replaced with a frown as the coldness hits you and you spit it back into the glass, laughing along with him. “What the hell are you doing?” he asks between giggles.

“I got the idea a few days ago when we were having popsicles…,” you say looking down at the glass between your hands, slightly embarrassed. “You kissed me and your mouth was really cold but it felt nice.” Sunghoon hums, egging you to go on. You lift the glass up to his cheeks, applying just a bit of pressure to the soft skin. “I thought this could be refreshing.”

You take the ice cube back in your mouth, sucking on it but not letting it melt completely before pressing your lips against Sunghoon’s and opening your mouth just a bit so he could feel the cold of the ice cube. You feel his smile into the kiss as the ice cube swirls between your tongues, sending shivers down your spine.

“Very refreshing indeed,” he murmurs when the ice has completely melted. He gets up and takes the glass in one of his hands, leaning down to your level and says “C’mon” with the same mischievous smile as you on his face.

You two hurry up the stairs, and when you get to his room, he hands you the glass before throwing himself on his back, laying on his back with his hands behind his head. “Show me what you had in mind.”

You straddle his hips and take an ice cube from the glass, rubbing it over his lips before pushing it inside his mouth, the cold making him hiss. You quickly counteract that by pressing your lips to his, the contrast of your warm tongue and the freezing ice turning him on more than he would’ve thought.

When the ice has melted, you take another piece and brush it along his jaw, down his Adam’s apple and around his nipples. The cold temperature makes him squirm but he doesn’t shy away from it, even closing his eyes to focus solely on the feeling. While you play with the ice cube, you also leave warm kisses all over his skin, reveling in its slightly salty taste from the thin layer of sweat. You let the ice cube melt between his abs and watch him wriggle as he sucks in a sharp breath, then grab another one, starting off where the previous one stopped. You circle his navel while your fingers play with the hem of his swimming trunks. He pulls them down himself and you chuckle at his eagerness. “I should’ve known you liked the cold, with all those years of ice skating you did,” you tease.

He’s almost fully hard, and it only takes a few kisses and trailing the ice cube down his inner thighs to have his dick fully erect. He’d only been letting out small sighs and hisses until now, but when you grab another ice cube and circle it around his sensitive tip, he throws his head back into the pillows and moans loudly. You push your luck and drag the ice cube down his shaft, his thighs snapping together when it reaches his balls. You put it in your mouth and let it melt so that your tongue is still cold when you swirl it around his tip, already tasting precum there. But before you can take him further in your mouth, he calls out your name.

“Wait. I don’t wanna cum just yet. My turn.”

He shakes his shoulders in excitement as you switch positions, you taking your t-shirt and bikini top off and laying on your back and him sitting down with one knee on each side of your thighs, an ice cube in his hand and a giddy smile on his face.

He brushes it over your lips before pushing it just a bit into your mouth, holding onto it with two fingers while you suck on it, gazes locked in each other. Just as you did earlier, he trails it down your throat and your chest until they reach your nipples, marveling at the thin wet trail it leaves in its wake. He licks this trail as he circles one of your nipples with the ice cube, and you don’t know if you should focus on his warm tongue or on the cold ice cube. Once it’s melted, he takes another one and circles your other nipple with it, his mouth coming to wrap around the now cold one. Your hands fly up to grab at his hair, your back arching into his touch as you moan and pant loudly.

He sucks and licks at your nipples until you’re calling out his name, begging for more. As nice as his mouth or an ice cube around your nipples feel, your pussy is throbbing and desperate for attention. “Sunghoon… Please,” you whine.

“Please what?” he teases, looking up from your breasts with a smirk.

You whine again, knowing he knows full well what you want. “Please…”

He trails the ice cube down your stomach, circling your navel a few times where it melts before slipping two cold fingers underneath your bikini bottoms. “Is this what you want, baby?,” he asks as he rubs his fingers between his folds, and you whine at the feeling of having him so close to your hole and to your clit but not quite there either. He smirks when you nod frantically but whine at the loss of his fingers against you as he takes your bottoms off and reaches for another ice cube.

You release a loud moan and arch your back off the bed when the ice cube touches your clit. “Fuck, Hoon!”

He rubs the ice cube up and down your folds, your heat melting it much faster than your skin. He takes another one and brings it to your entrance this time, circling around it before pushing the ice cube in and staring with wonder as it melts quickly. He holds your hips down so you stop bucking them up, whimpering at the amazing feeling of the ice against you. He replaces the ice cube with his fingers inside of you and his tongue on your clit, sucking expertly at the sensitive bud and lapping at your juices. And while it feels good - God, does it feel good - and you let Sunghoon know just how nice it feels with your moans, whispers of his names and the way you hold onto his hair, you’re craving something more.

It’s something you’ve been wanting for the past few days, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. No matter how nice Sunghoon’s fingers and mouth felt, they didn’t make you feel close to him enough. You wanted to be so close to him you didn’t know where you ended and where he started; you wanted to feel him.

You pull him up by the face, asking him to come here and getting lost in his lips as soon as they reach your level. God, Sunghoon’s kisses. You could drown in them. But still, that craving, that need for more. And now that his body is pressed up against yours and you can feel his erection against your thigh, so close to your core, you think you know what it is that you want. “Hmm, please…”

“You keep asking me for something, but you don’t tell me what it is.”

“You. I want you, Hoon, please,” you beg, murmuring against his lips as you wrap your legs around his hips and bring him even closer, his cock now pressing against your cunt.

“M-me?,” he asks, leaning back just a bit, but you pull him back in right away, resting his forehead against yours.

“Yes, please. I need to feel you inside me.”

Your words are enough to get a moan out of Sunghoon. “Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” he pants, planting kisses all over your face and neck. Usually, you’d giggle at the ticklish sensation, but right now, you’re so drunk on pleasure, it just makes your breath even shallower and your core wetter.

“How long?”

“God. Since the second time we kissed probably,” he replies, reaching for a condom in the drawer of his bedside table. You think back to that moment six weeks ago (how has it been six weeks already?, you think), after you and Sunghoon had made up and made out on his couch in front of a horror movie. He’d wanted you for that long? And he’d waited for you to say something since then?

“Today’s your lucky day, then,” you tease in an attempt to alleviate the need for him that takes over your bones, but his gaze when he looks back at you ruins any effort. If anything, it just makes you need him even more. You feel like you might explode if you don’t have him right now.

You watch as he clumsily wraps the condom around his member, clearly never having done this before, but you wouldn’t be of any help, so you let him figure it out on his own. You let your head fall back as he rubs his tip up and down your folds, gathering your slick on his dick before aligning himself at your entrance and giving you a long, deep kiss.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks, forehead on yours.

“Yeah. Are you?”

“Yeah, I am. But I’m also scared.”

“Scared of what, Hoon?” you ask, opening your eyes to look at him. You caress his cheek and cup his face in your hands, watching softly as he lets his head rest on your palm.

“I’m scared of hurting you. I heard it hurts the first time. And I’m scared…” he closes his eyes and frowns a bit. “I’m scared it’ll feel too good. That I’ll always want it. You.”

You take a small moment to think, your thumb brushing over his cheek in what you hope is a comforting manner. “You won’t hurt me, Hoon. It only hurts if you’re not ready… And I’m plenty ready. I know you’ll take it slow.” You smile softly when he nods, turning his head to kiss your palm. But if sex is as good as you’ve heard it is, you’re also scared that it might be the best thing you’ve ever experienced and that you’ll never get enough. You and Sunghoon have been meeting up almost everyday this summer and it has more often than not ended up with one of you between the other’s legs; you could never get bored of the things he made you feel or of knowing you were making him feel those exact same things. If you couldn’t live without his fingers, how could you live without his dick?

How could you live without him?

You tried to snap out of those thoughts, reassuring yourself that even before all of this you couldn’t imagine yourself living without Sunghoon, and that there was no reason this should change anything. “And don’t be scared of that, silly,” you say, making him smile. “I’ll always be here, Sunghoon. I’ll always want you, too.”

“Fuck, okay,” he whispers, kissing your lips once before pulling himself up on his palms, hovering over you. “Tell me if you need me to stop, yeah?” he asks and waits for you to nod before finally pushing in.

You instantly moan when you feel his tip inside you, and Sunghoon stops, frantically asking if you’re okay. It takes some convincing to get him to push himself further in. “It feels so good, Hoon. Please keep going.”

You tell him to not stop until he’s fully inside you, and he obeys, even though he wants to stop when he sees your frown and your sharp intakes of breath. When he’s buried to a hilt, he can’t help but collapse on top of you, burying his face in your neck and wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. “Y/N,” he drawls out. “Feels so fucking good. So tight,” he murmurs against your neck.

“Mmh. Give me a minute, baby.” Your hands caress up and down the expanse of his back and you feel him relax on top of you. As you adjust around his length, the stretch starts to feel more and more pleasurable, until pleasure is the only thing you feel. “Hoon?”

“Yeah?” he says, kissing and nibbling softly at your neck and earlobe.

“You can move, now.”

Sunghoon doesn’t need to be told twice and ever-so-slowly slides out of you, leaving only the tip in before he slides back in. His thrusts are slow but deep, and it’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more. He’s barely started but you’re both already whimpering messes, holding onto each other tightly as pleasure like neither of you has felt before takes over your entire bodies.

As you both get more comfortable, his pace picks up just a tiny bit and you tentatively raise your legs higher so that they’re hooked around the back of his knees instead of laying on the bed. The new angle only adds to the intense pleasure, but you don’t even realize you’re crying until Sunghoon stops mid-thrust, wiping your tears with his thumb and worryingly asking if you’re okay and if it hurts and if he should stop. You open your eyes and smile, instantly calming his nerves. You bring his head closer to yours and kiss him like you’d stop breathing if you didn’t. “It feels so fucking good, Hoon. So, so good.”

He sighs out of relief and resumes his actions, heart swelling with pride that he’s making you feel so good, you’re crying. He’s always hated seeing you cry or hurt in general; but knowing what kind of tears these are, he thinks you look so pretty with tears streaming down your face. His hands grip your thighs a bit tighter as he quickens his pace, already addicted to the feeling of your warm walls taking him in so well.

He slips out a few times but you’re always quick to guide him back inside you. He lifts his body up a bit to get a deeper angle, hoping it’ll get him to stop slipping out, and he’s blown away by the sight underneath him. He thinks you’ve never looked so gorgeous as you do now, legs spread wide for him, cheeks flushed, brows furrowed and mouth agape for him. He kisses your tears, the salty taste bringing a smile to his lips. “So perfect,” he whispers against your mouth. “You look so beautiful.”

Sunghoon takes your legs and wraps them higher around his hips, the new angle hitting a spot inside you that’s making you see stars and has you moaning his name like it’s the only thing you know how to say. You feel that familiar tension build up inside your stomach much faster and much stronger than it usually does.

“Fuck, Sunghoon, I’m gonna cum,” you warn, and a harsher thrust inside you is what pushes you over the edge, the sensation crashing into you and making your thighs shake. An orgasm has never hit you this hard before.

You’re clenching around him like crazy and Sunghoon gasps as you milk him dry, his own orgasm hitting him all at once. He shoots his release inside the condom and stills inside you, breath completely taken away by the sudden, overwhelming sensation.

He lays on top of you for a moment as you both catch your breaths, trying to make sense of how something can feel this good without killing you instantly. He apologizes when his pulling out makes you wince and kisses the top of your head. He rolls onto his back, pulling you with him so that you’re now almost lying on top of him, head against his chest as his arms wrap themselves around you. You leave kisses all over his chest and neck and his hands caress your back.

“That was amazing.”

“I know, right?” he responds immediately, his enthusiasm making you laugh.

“Thanks, Hoon,” you say timidly, voice muffled against his skin.

“For what?”

“For making me feel this good.”

He chuckles. “No need to thank me, pretty. If anything, I should thank you for letting me make you feel good, and on top of that making me feel good.”

You hum at his words and you both stay there for a bit longer, enjoying each other’s warmth. Something blooms inside your chest, and you don’t know whether to let it grow or to squash it down. It feels nice, almost too nice, and you’re scared it might get ripped away from you and it won’t feel so nice then.

Friendship, sex, love. In those weeks spent with Sunghoon, those previously clear lines have blurred to a point they were all one big messy ball of feelings and not three distinct things you could tell apart. Has sex turned your friendship with Sunghoon into something romantic? Or is that just an illusion, and being so intimate with your best friend has messed up your once platonic vision of him? But was your vision of him ever platonic?

Haven't the two of you always been teased about liking each other for a reason? After all, you and Sunghoon didn't grow up together, and he’s never felt like a brother to you. He has always been your male friend; you’ve always been aware that he was your friend who was also a boy. When you'd moved in the house next to his, you hadn’t instantly clicked; it took a while for the ice skating prodigy to warm up to you, but his parents had warmly welcomed yours into the neighborhood and quickly became friends, so it was only a matter of time before he’d open up to the idea of you being around. Constantly.

You’d walk to and from school together, do homework together, go on family trips together, cheer each other on at your respective competitions. After his ice skating lessons, when his coach let him have the whole place to himself for a bit more practice, he’d tie your ice skates for you and drag you onto the ice rink, holding you by the waist or shoulders as he skated backwards in front of you, but also laughing at you when you inevitably fell. He’d tease you for getting second place at the science fair or for getting your arguments torn apart during Model United Nations, but the way he’d be a little nicer to you or share his food more often that week wouldn’t escape you.

Being a handsome young ice skater, Sunghoon had developed quite the loyal following of boys and girls alike who would come to see him at his competitions. He thrived off of the attention, but no matter how much he enjoyed his fans’ admiration, you were always the one he’d skate to after having won first place, hugging you tightly over the barrier separating the ice from the bleachers. Especially during your younger teen years, Sunghoon wasn’t one for skinship or PDA, so it always meant that much more to you that even after his most important wins, you were the first thing on his mind. It never failed to make your stomach flip, and all the death stares from his fans in the world couldn’t have changed a thing.

You were already close, but you became practically inseparable after Sunghoon’s injury. During the competition that would have gotten him a place at the Youth Winter Olympics had he won, his nerves got the best of him and he didn’t land his triple axel, hurting his ankle in the process. Ten years of dedication and hard work, ruined in mere seconds. To say that it destroyed him would be an understatement.

You were the one to bring him back up. You listened to him when he needed to vent, held him when he needed a shoulder to cry on, cheered him up when he needed to smile. He didn’t even need to tell you what he needed, you seemed to just know. You reminded him that he had a lot more value than his medals and trophies and that he didn’t need them to be complete. His family and friends tried their best to make him feel better, but their words never reached him quite like yours did.

Slowly but surely, his confidence came back. He’d lost his fans, but he’d gained a friend he knew would always be there for him. His dimples would appear more often, his laugh would resonate louder. His injury had made the two of you grow closer, creating a bond that would only strengthen over time.

And yet there were moments when being friends wasn’t enough. When calling him your best friend didn’t feel right. You had other friends, friends you were close to; sure, maybe not as close as to Sunghoon, but close nonetheless. And you didn’t feel that way around them.

Their laugh didn’t make your heart skip a beat. You didn’t want to bury your face in their necks and breathe in their scent when they hugged you. You didn’t want to know every single detail of their day. And you surely didn’t feel a pang of jealousy in your chest when they danced with another girl at your school ball.

You also didn’t crave their lips on yours every single day since it had happened for the first time and didn’t want to see what they sounded or looked like while getting the life sucked out of them through their dick.

Everybody told you it was obvious you were ‘more than friends.’ Why did romantic love have to be ‘more’ than platonic love? Why were there levels to it? You didn’t like the idea of taking your relationship with Sunghoon ‘one step further’; that wasn’t the way it felt to you. Rather, it felt like having to change everything you knew and create something new. Something where you could see him laugh and tell him about your day, but where you could also kiss him and graze his skin with your fingertips. Something that only you could share with him and only he could share with you. But you were afraid the friendship would fall apart if things didn't work out. So, instead of taking the risk of changing everything, you made sure things would stay the same. You’d tell the butterflies raging in your stomach to settle down and you wouldn’t let yourself fall into his touch in case it’d be like falling from the highest mountain.

That is, until he kissed you. Until this moment, right now, lying in his arms, ear right over his heart so you can hear it beat for you. You look up at him. His eyes are closed and a soft smile rests on his lips. He looks so peaceful. He always looks pleased when you’ve just been together, but right now, he seems to be in such a serene state, it almost makes you laugh.

Now that you’ve given in to your feelings, you’ve realized just how strong they were this whole time. Nothing has ever felt better than being in Sunghoon’s arms, than being able to see him at his most vulnerable state and to give all of you to him. All those things you didn’t know about him just six weeks ago, you know them by heart now. You’re sure there’s other things to find out, and you’ll make sure you will.

But summer won’t last forever.

A wave of sadness slaps you right in the face, bringing you back to reality. There’ll come a time where you and Sunghoon won’t be able to lounge around all day or lazily make-out at your will. You’ll go your own ways and not see each other for months at a time. The thought of that is unbearable, and you feel like looking at Sunghoon for a second longer might rip your heart into a million pieces.

When you sit up, tearing yourself away from his grip, he immediately opens his eyes, asking what’s wrong.

“Just need to go to the bathroom. I heard you can get STIs from not peeing after sex,” you half-lie. He nods and falls back into the bed.

You rush to the toilet, needing to get far away from Sunghoon as quickly as possible. Even your pee smells different - guess that’s what having a dick inside you will do to you. You wash your hands and look in the mirror: your skin is darker in some spots, surely Sunghoon’s work. So not only did he mess with your thoughts, he also had to make your body all weird, too?

You splash your face with cold water, hoping it will bring you back to your senses. You and Sunghoon have been best friends for years. There’s no point in changing all of that now, is there? You’ll be leaving soon enough, anyway. Why ruin a perfectly fine friendship for a summer fling?

Those are your thoughts as you head back to Sunghoon’s bedroom, ready to tell him that this whole thing was a mistake and you should just pretend it never happened. But your resolve crumbles at your feet as soon as you step inside the room.

Sunghoon’s got a couple of snacks ready as he browses through Netflix in search of an appropriate movie. “How about Twilight?” he says when he feels the bed dip under your weight next to him. He kisses your forehead and pulls you down on the bed with him so that you’re lying back against his chest.

Screw it, you think. Whatever this is, it’s much more than a summer fling.

The rest of the summer goes by in a flash. No, you don’t try to make Sunghoon jealous by flirting with Heeseung; if the mention of the latter’s name was enough to get your friend mad, then purposefully twirling your hair or batting your eyelashes at the older boy just might make Sunghoon white-boy-punch a hole into a wall. And it’s not like Heeseung would try coming onto you, either, with how clingy Sunghoon gets when he’s around, always an arm around your waist and a glare that could kill Heeseung.

Sunghoon gradually opens up to Heeseung being around, even though it takes you reminding him almost daily that he’s the one whose arms you wanna end up in over anybody’s. After a couple weeks, Sunghoon stops looking like he's on the brink of starting a fight every time Heeseung so much as talks to you or hands you a glass of lemonade, and finally relaxes around him.

You spend countless sleepless nights with Sunghoon. You’ve probably memorized every single one of his moles by now, and you’ve made sure to kiss all of them. He holds you against him like he might lose you at any given moment. The only nights you don’t fall asleep in each other’s embrace are when either one of you is sleeping over at your friend’s house. On those nights, sleep always takes hours before washing over you, the lack of warmth keeping you awake.

Your friends and you spend entire days at the lake or by Sunghoon’s pool, not a care in the world. You rest your head on Sunghoon’s shoulder as you watch the fireworks Jake and Jay bought go off. Sunghoon grills your marshmallows for you, blowing on them so they cool down before handing you the stick. You try to ignore how the night air gets slightly chillier and how the sun sets slightly earlier, but by the last days of August, it becomes too noticeable. When September rolls around, you’re sure there’s a small crack in your heart.

You know Sunghoon feels the end of summer too. His kisses are deeper and his lips linger over yours a second longer. He frowns when he kisses you and hugs you, like he’s trying to remember what it feels like. His usual playful demeanor when you’re in bed together is gone, instead seemingly hellbent on making you feel good and almost begging you to say his name. As if you could say any other name. As if you could say anything else.

Neither of you mention your departure until the night before you leave. After spending the evening with your friends, you lie together in bed, the side of your face resting against his chest so you can feel his heart against your ear. He’s tracing patterns with his fingertips on your back, and it takes you a while to figure out he’s spelling his name over and over again, as if to etch it in your skin. When, once in a while, he takes his hand off of you to reach for his phone, you can still feel his fingers caressing you, ghostlike against your skin.

The air around you feels heavy, pressing the both of you down into the mattress. You wish the bed would eat you alive so you could stay there, warm against each other, as long as you like. You know you can’t leave without talking first, but the words won’t come to you. Instead, they float around the bed, weighing your heart down into your stomach.

“So,” you start. You're unsure what to say, but you know this conversation has to happen, one way or another. In the end, you settle on, “Excited to leave?”

Sunghoon scoffs lightly, his motions on your back coming to a stop. “Not really, no. It’s not like I’m leaving that far, and half of our school is going to our uni.”

“Maybe, but there’ll be tons of other people. Tons of other girls, too,” you add after a short pause.

“Don’t do this, Y/N, please.”

You sit up at his words. He covers his eyes with his forearm and takes a deep breath in, sensing an incoming argument. “Do what?”

“This. Getting mad at me when I haven’t done anything.”

“I’m not mad at you,” you protest, frowning down at him.

“No? Then what’s this?” he says, smoothing down the lines between your eyebrows and on your forehead with the pad of a finger.

“Whatever.” You nudge your head away from his touch. It burns. “It’s not like I’m wrong, anyway. You’re gonna have a bunch of girls at your feet, and you’ll know what to do with them, right? Now that you’re not a virgin?” you question, avoiding his gaze.

“Y/N…” he sighs, shutting his eyes tighter as if in pain.

“What? This was the whole reason why, right? Get experience with me so you could fuck girls better, no?”

“Y/N!” he says, raising his voice enough to let you know he’s upset but not enough to scare you. He sits up, looking at you with hurt and disbelief in his eyes. “What’s this all of a sudden? It’s not like I forced you into this! We agreed on it together!”

“So you agree? That this summer was just about getting experience and now you’ll use it on other girls and pretend like we,” you gesture between the two of you, “never happened?”

“What do you mean ‘agree’? I never said any of this! Don’t put words into my mouth!”

He watches as you get up from the bed, arms crossed and pacing his room. He calls out to you a few times, but you don’t stop to look at him until he speaks your name with a sternness you’ve never heard before from him. “What?” you snap.

“I don’t get why you’re acting like this out of nowhere! We both knew summer was gonna end at some point, and why we were doing this! Why are you blaming me now?”

“Because… because…” you sigh, scrambling for an excuse. Why were you doing this? The thought of Sunghoon doing what he did to you to another girl, making her feel as good as he had made you feel, kissing her like he had kissed you, made you sick. It made you see red, it made you want to make him wear a shirt with your face on it so everybody knew he was yours.

Sunghoon gets up and stands close in front of you, too close. You close your eyes. If you see his moles, you might reach out to touch them and let yourself fall even more. If you fall, you’ll need to get up, but his scent makes your knees weak.

His hands find your face, holding a little too gently, you think. Your small ones wrap around his wrists and grip them, a little too harshly, he thinks.

You take a step back and finally look into his eyes. There’s hope in them; hope you’ll say what he wants, what he needs to hear. That you want him like he wants you. That you wish summer wasn’t over. That you’ll keep him in your heart until you can see him again. So, when what you say next is none of the above, he feels his heart sink down to his feet, leaving a murky puddle there.

“I can’t do this.”

You rush out of the room, practically running home. You fight your tears back until you slam your bedroom behind you, pathetically sinking to the ground as you let out a loud sob. You don't have the energy to get up, and cry into your hoodie's sleeve right there on the floor.

When you’ve calmed down a bit, you get up and lay in your bed, hiding your whole body underneath the covers. Maybe this is for the best, you think. If you end it like this, you won’t have the knowledge of whether he’ll wait to have you back or he’ll move on like nothing happened. That way, you can do whatever you want, not caring about what he’s up to.

But even now, your hands subconsciously reach out towards a person that’s not there and your feet hang over the edge of your bed as though to get up and run to him anytime. You curl in on yourself to stop your body from aching for him. It doesn’t work very well.

Sunghoon stays where you left him for a few minutes, too stunned to move. Should he run after you? Should he let you cool off for a bit and talk to you in the morning? Would you be mad at him if he didn’t try to see you now or would the mere sight of him just make you angrier? He plops down on his bed as these questions run through his mind, butting into each other and making everything more confusing.

He thinks back on everything that led to this, and his mind settles on that day a few days after graduation where his thoughts had dropped to the lowest pits of hell. If only you hadn’t brought those two damned lollipops.

The next morning, Sunghoon wakes up as if somebody had slapped him awake. He doesn’t bother to brush his teeth or eat anything before running over to your house, almost forgetting to put shoes on. He finds you in your room, packing the last of your things into an already full suitcase. He stands at your door, panting as his hands rest on his knees.

“You haven’t left yet. Thank God.”

“God, Hoon. It’s not that far between your house and mine. How are you so out of breath,” you say, glancing at him from the corner of your eye.

He walks to you and kneels in front of you, taking you in his arms before you can say anything. “Talk to me, please. Don’t leave like this. I’d never forgive myself if you left and you were mad at me, Y/N.”

You thought you’d cried so much last night that there was not a single drop of water left in your body, but you thought wrong. Your eyes immediately well up at his words, and he leans back when he hears a soft sniffle escaping you. Only then does he notice how puffy your eyes from all your crying.

“No, no… Have you been crying? I’m so sorry, pretty, please don’t cry,” he pouts, pulling you back into his embrace. It hasn’t even been half a day, but you missed his warmth so much, it only makes you cry harder.

After sobbing against his chest, possibly staining his shirt in the process, you pull away and in your light-headed, dehydrated state, spill your heart out. “It’s so stupid,” you sob. “We’re not gonna see each other for months and I’m gonna miss you so much and I don’t want you to be with other girls. I want you all to myself and I don’t want to be your friend that you fucked for a summer just so you could get experience, it was a stupid idea in the first place, if you wanted to kiss me, you should’ve just kissed me. But you didn’t just kiss me and now I’m scared that this all meant nothing to you but everything to me and that I don’t want to be friends anymore but you do and I’m mad that it took me all summer to say this even though I’ve known it for years but I didn’t want to admit it to myself but also you didn’t say anything and I’m mad about that too. Because there’s no way you don’t feel like I do but maybe you actually don’t and-”

Whatever you were about to say dies out against Sunghoon’s lips as he presses his lips to yours, interrupting your rambling. He pulls away, looking at you with a huge, stupid grin. He’s so stupid, you think. I love him so much.

“Fucking hell, Y/N. I’ve been waiting for you to say this so bad, you have no idea.”

You punch his chest, frowning at him. Those stupid tears won’t stop. Everything is so stupid. “Then why didn’t you say it first?”

“Because I didn’t know how to. You know I’m bad with words. And I was scared it’d make things weird.”

“I don’t want things to be weird,” you pout.

“I don’t want things to be weird, either. I want things to be nice and happy.”

You giggle. “That’s so stupid.”

“Right? It’s so stupid,” he repeats, kissing you again.

“Your breath smells,” you complain when he pulls away.

“And you have tears on your lips. Tastes salty,” he teases.

“Yeah, thanks to who?”

“Sorry.” He smiles and kisses you again. He holds you against him for a while, enjoying this last moment together. As long as he can see a smile on your face before you leave, he’ll be fine.

“I’m gonna miss you so much too, Y/N. And forget about those non-existent girls. There’s no one I’d rather be with than you.”

“How do you know? You haven’t met any of them yet,” you say, voice muffled against his t-shirt.

“I’ve met other girls before. None of them compare to you,” he says, and you immediately gag at how cliché it sounds. “What?! It’s true,” he giggles.

“You’re not gonna go and date a random guy, are you?”

“Of course not. None of them compare to you,” you say, lowering your voice to imitate his.

He helps you finish packing, and when you’re done, you lay together on your bed, not saying much because not much needs to be said. Your parents struggle to tear you away from each other and from your bed when it’s time to leave. He helps your dad put your baggage in the trunk of his car, telling you to not lift a finger so you watch him go to and from the car, leaving a kiss on your forehead every time he walks past you. You notice with a smile that he doesn’t carry much at once, making him have to go back-and-forth quite often.

After saying goodbye to your family, your dad waits in the car as you and Sunghoon hang back awkwardly, kicking small pebbles on the pavement. He takes your hand in his, making you look up at him, then takes the other hand, then hugs you close to him.

“I’m gonna miss you,” you say, as if that wasn’t obvious. You’re trying hard to fight tears from falling again, but it’s like there’s an ocean behind your eyes, water somehow never running out.

“I already miss you,” he says, and that’s enough to get you to sob again, which makes him start crying too. You’re crying, he’s crying, your mom is crying from the porch as she watches the two of you, it’s a mess.

You force yourself away from him, cupping his face in your hands. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? And college will be fun. You won’t even have time to miss me. But make time to think about me, yeah? And text me.”

“I will. I’ll think about you all the time, I already do,” he says.

“Okay,” you whisper and hug him one last time, very briefly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. You’re about to walk away but he doesn’t let go of your hand and pulls on your arm to bring you back to him.

Pressing his forehead against yours, he whispers, “I love you,” and you sob.

“I love you, too.”

This time, when you walk away, he lets you go. He watches as you get into the passenger’s seat and as the car drives away, as it takes you away from him. You watch him stand there in the rearview mirror, until his silhouette becomes smaller, and smaller, and smaller, until you can’t see him at all anymore.

Summer went and fall came as they do every year. Dead leaves are falling but it’s a new start for you. It’s a new town and you don’t know anybody, but you click instantly with your roommate and make new friends throughout your first week there. You realize everybody’s in the same boat, and they’re all eager to meet people and are curious about college life. You love your classes but complain about them nonetheless. You eat more ramen than you’d like to admit and turn up hungover at a 9 am class on a Thursday. You pull all-nighters at the library and develop a caffeine dependency. You’re a college student.

You and Sunghoon were very dramatic when you left, you soon realize. You call almost everyday. He’s not there with you and you miss him but at least you don’t have to pretend you’re not stupidly in love with him anymore. Because it’s stupid, being in love, it really is. You wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Your first semester passes by almost too quickly, and before you know it, you’re on the drive home, already one eighth of the way through university. You’re excited to go home, but Sunghoon’s finals last a week longer so you wait around for him. When you complain about it, Chaeyoung tells you to get a grip. “You haven’t seen him in three months, I’m sure you can handle another week.”

And you can, but barely. You were about to explode but then he’s back and you’re in his arms and his hair is still so soft, his scent is still so comforting and his moles are still there. You kiss them both before you finally press your lips to his, and it makes you feel so alive, you could die right then and there.

You lie on his bed and talk for hours as if you didn’t keep in touch the whole time and it’s like you never left. It’s like summer never ended and you’ve just been lying in his bed the whole time, college just one big fever dream.

But his skin doesn’t smell like chlorine anymore, and he’s not in his swimming trunks. It’s fall, almost winter, and you’re kissing Park Sunghoon. You realize you can kiss him whatever the season and you find comfort in that. It was a big day (you cried a lot when you saw him) and you’re tired so you think you’ll kiss for a bit and that’ll be all but then he whispers “I missed you so much” against your neck and a fire lights inside your stomach. Oh, how it burns. You think it might consume you whole, but you don’t dislike that idea.

In a flash, you’re on top of him, his shirt is off, your shirt is off, but it’s not enough so you take your pants off too and Sunghoon is confused as to why you’re going so fast, but follows you anyway. “What’s going on?” he asks when you’re done with the taking off of your clothes and have moved on to kissing and biting at his neck like it’s your first meal in ages, because it is.

“I missed you too,” you simply answer, and he smirks as he nods slowly, now understanding your eagerness.

“Missed me that much, huh?” he teases, letting his head fall back against the pillow so you have better access to his neck.

“Shut up. Kiss me,” you order, and he doesn’t need to be told twice. Your kisses are ravenous and desperate, very fitting for two horny people in love who haven’t seen each other in months. But the pulse in your core makes you too impatient to stay anywhere for too long, and really, it’s not your fault if you’re grinding down onto Sunghoon’s clothed erection, it’s just that he smells too good and you missed him too much.

Sunghoon laughs at you for being so impatient to hide just how impatient he is. His giggles keep him from moaning loudly enough to wake the whole house, and you laugh as you tell him to stop laughing.

“I’m serious. I missed you so much. Need you so bad,” you say as you get rid of your underwear and quickly do the same for his. He gasps when he feels you take his dick in your hand and brush its tip between your folds, both out of pleasure and out of surprise.

“Shouldn’t I get you ready? Stretch you out a bit?” he asks, his hands roaming up and down your back as he sits up on the bed so that you’re straddling his lap, and you shake your head no. You’re probably already embarrassingly wet from your short makeout session, anyway.

“I don’t care if it hurts,” you say, lining his tip with your entrance. “Need to feel you.”

You sink down on his cock, the both of you releasing loud moans at the long-awaited feeling. He lets you adjust to his size for a minute, but as soon as you move your hips just a bit, signaling to him that you’re ready for more, it’s over for you. He wanted to be patient and take his time, he really did, but you feel so warm around him and your small whimpers are so pretty that his resolve of letting you take the lead is thrown out the window. He pounds into you at a rapid pace that has you biting his shoulder to keep yourself from screaming.

You had imagined your first time back with Sunghoon so many times before. It usually involved a nice playlist in the background, fairy lights and candles lighting the room, hours of foreplay and sensual lovemaking, with a nice bath afterwards. Sometimes, when you were particularly needy for him, you imagined something closer to what was actually happening, where you’d rip each other’s clothes as soon as you got to the bedroom and fucked like animals (a bit much, admittedly, but you really missed him).

What you definitely hadn’t expected, however, was that you’d both cum in less than five minutes. What could you do, though, when he was hitting your g-spot over and over again, his length stretching you perfectly as he whispered in your ear how much he’d missed you and how good you felt? And what could he do when you took him in so well, clinging onto him as you told him how much you’d missed him and how good he felt?

You finish at the same time, hole clenching around him and milking him dry. He doesn’t pull out for a while, letting you collapse onto him as you both catch your breaths, just like you had that first time. “That was a bit quick,” he pants, and you can’t help but laugh.

You pull back to look at his face. It’s so pretty and stupid. What a stupid face that you love so much. Do you love it because it’s stupid or is it stupid because you love it? You think that that’s a stupid question, and you kiss the mole on his nose, then the mole on his cheek, right next to his nose.

“We have all night to go slower.”

“We have all Christmas break,” he corrects.

We have the rest of our lives, you think, and you think that might be a bit much, but you say it anyway. Sunghoon hums and says, “yes, we do,” and you think maybe it’s not all that stupid.

Maybe it’s the greatest thing that’s ever been.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr @vernonburger @amorbonbon @fluerz (ask to be removed/added!)

#enhypen x reader #sunghoon x reader #enhypen smut #sunghoon smut #enhypen angst #sunghoon angst #enhypen imagines #sunghoon imagines #enhypen au #sunghoon au #enhypen fanfiction #sunghoon fanfiction

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inseobts · 10 days ago

Note

Idk if u do request but can you do Scary reader x One piece men? Law, Shanks, Sabo, Ace, Croc, The monster trio & whoever else you want! Basically the reader is really scary but {{char}} finds their scariness attractive.

Attractive Scariness

a/n: sorry but at some point I got out of ideas lmao

characters: luffy, zoro, sanji, law, ace, shanks, sabo and crocodile

words count: around 0.4k - 0.9k each

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

── .✦ Monkey D. Luffy:

You’re used to fear.

The wide eyes, the shaky hands, the people stumbling over themselves to get away, etc. It’s always the same. Ever since you ate your Devil Fruit, people have called you a monster. Even when you’re not fighting, your presence alone makes people nervous.

So when you land on this island and step into a small village, you already expect the usual reaction.

And you get it.

The streets clear as soon as you walk in. The market stalls empty. Even the shopkeepers pretend not to see you.

You sigh.

“Again?” you mutter “I just want some food…”

You’re about to turn around when someone doesn’t run. A boy in a red vest and a straw hat stands right in front of you, grinning like he doesn’t even notice how scary you are.

No. He notices. He just doesn’t care.

“Whoa!” he exclaims, eyes shining “You’re super strong, huh?”

You blink “What?”

“I can tell!” He nods, completely sure of himself “Strong people have this feeling about them. And you feel really strong!”

You stare at him. That’s… new. No “stay away from me” or “please don’t kill me.” Just pure excitement.

Luffy tilts his head “What’s your power?”

You hesitate. Usually, this is the part where people scream. But he’s looking at you like a kid waiting for a magic trick.

You raise your hand. A shadow swirls around your fingers, shifting like smoke. The air around you grows heavy, dark, unnatural.

Luffy gasps.

“That’s so cool!”

“…Huh?”

“You can control shadows? Or darkness? Or... wait, is it nightmares?” He’s practically bouncing “Can you do giant shadow hands? Or make yourself super big? Or—”

You blink at him “You’re… not scared?”

Luffy grins wider “Why would I be? You’re awesome!”

This has never happened before. Ever. You don’t know what to do.

Then Luffy grabs your wrist “Hey, join my crew!”

Your brain short-circuits “What?”

“I’m Luffy! I’m gonna be King of the Pirates, and I need strong people on my crew. And you’re really strong!”

You open your mouth, then close it. You look at him, at his bright, careless smile, at the way he’s just standing there, holding onto your wrist like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Like you’re just a person.

Not a monster.

“…You’re weird” you say.

Luffy laughs “People tell me that a lot.”

You stare at him for a long moment. Then, for the first time in forever, you smile.

“…Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’ll join you.”

Luffy cheers, throwing his fists in the air “Yes! This is gonna be awesome!”

You have no idea what you’ve just signed up for. But for once, you don’t feel like a nightmare.

You just feel like you.

Years have passed since you met Luffy. Since he grabbed your wrist, called you strong, and changed your life without even trying.

Back then, you weren’t sure what you were getting into. Now, you know.

Being with Luffy means chaos. It means waking up to find him hanging upside down from the ship’s mast, laughing like it’s normal. It means fighting beside him, watching him charge straight at danger without fear—because he trusts you to have his back.

It means love.

A love that is loud and wild, but also simple. Easy. Because Luffy has never been afraid of you. Not then, not now.

Right now, you’re on an island, sitting in the shade while the crew runs around. The villagers are keeping their distance, just like always. Even after all these years, people still fear you.

But it doesn’t matter anymore.

Because across the field, Luffy is waving at you, smiling so wide it makes your chest feel warm. He doesn’t care that people avoid you. He doesn’t care that you’re “scary”, to him, you’re just you.

He runs over, plopping down next to you with a grin “Whatcha doin’?”

You raise an eyebrow “Sitting.”

Luffy gasps dramatically “No way. That’s crazy.”

You snort, shoving his shoulder. He just laughs, leaning against you without a care in the world.

For a while, you sit there together. The sun is warm, the breeze is nice, and Luffy is… Luffy. He hums a little song under his breath, playing with your fingers like he’s fascinated by them.

Then, he says “You know, you’re kinda scary.”

You pause “Oh?”

He nods “Yeah. Like, super scary. When you fight, people freak out. Even Zoro said you’re the last person he’d wanna fight seriously.”

You wait for the usual words to follow. Monster. Freak. Too much.

But instead, Luffy grins and squeezes your hand.

“I love it.”

Your heart stops for a second.

Luffy keeps talking, like he hasn’t just turned your entire world upside down “It’s awesome! You’re so strong, and you do that cool shadowy thing, and when you get serious, even the bad guys look like they’re gonna cry.” He laughs, eyes shining “It’s really cool.”

You don’t answer right away. Because what is there to say?

For so long, your power was a curse. Something that made you different. Something that made you alone.

But here, with Luffy, it’s just another part of you.

“…You’re an idiot” you mumble, looking away.

Luffy laughs “Yeah, but you love me.”

You roll your eyes “Unfortunately.”

He gasps “What?!”

You shove his face away, and he just laughs harder, wrapping his arms around you like an octopus. He clings to you, laughing and warm, and you sigh, pretending to be annoyed.

But the truth is, you wouldn’t trade this for anything.

Because you are strong. And scary. And Luffy loves it.

And that is more than enough.

── .✦ Roronoa Zoro:

Zoro knows strength when he sees it.

He can sense it in the way people move, in the way they breathe. Some fighters hesitate, some carry doubt, but you don’t.

From the moment he meets you, he can tell. You don’t just fight. You hunt. And for some reason, he can’t take his eyes off you.

It starts on an island known for its warriors. The crew stops to rest, but Zoro wants a challenge. A real fight. So when he hears rumors of a swordsfighter so deadly that even bounty hunters avoid them, he doesn’t hesitate.

But when he finds you, it’s not what he expects.

You’re not some old master or a towering brute. You’re just… you. Sitting under a tree, sharpening your blade like you have all the time in the world.

Zoro stops a few feet away, arms crossed “You’re the one they’re all scared of?”

You glance up. Your eyes are sharp, your aura heavy, and for a second, it’s like the temperature drops.

Zoro grins. Oh, yeah. This is gonna be good.

You sigh, standing up “You here to fight me too?”

He smirks “Yeah. Unless you’re scared.”

Something flickers in your gaze, something dark and dangerous. Then you smile, slow and sharp “You’ll regret that.”

And then you move.

It happens fast. One second, you’re standing still. The next, your own blade is inches from his neck. Zoro barely blocks in time, his instincts the only thing keeping his head attached.

His blood rushes.

You don’t fight like normal swordsfighters. Your movements are smooth, calculated, but there’s something more. Something predatory.

Zoro grins “Not bad.”

You tilt your head “Not bad?”

And then you attack for real.

The clash of steel echoes through the trees. Zoro meets each strike, but he can feel the difference in the way you fight. You don’t waste movement. You don’t test him. You go straight for the kill.

Most people would find that terrifying.

Zoro finds it hot as hell.

His smirk widens “You don’t hold back, huh?”

You don’t answer, but there’s something in your eyes... curiosity, maybe. Like you’re testing him.

Good. He likes a challenge.

The fight goes on, fast and brutal, but in the end, neither of you go all out. It’s just a taste, a promise of something more. When you finally lower your blade, Zoro does the same.

You study him for a moment, then nod “You’re not bad either.”

Zoro huffs a laugh “High praise.”

You sheath your sword and turn away “I’m going back to town. You coming or what?”

He watches you go, smirking to himself.

Yeah. He’s definitely interested.

Years Later – Zoro should probably be concerned that his partner is one of the most terrifying people he’s ever met.

But he’s not.

In fact, it just makes him like you more.

Right now, you’re standing on the deck of the Sunny, staring down a group of bounty hunters dumb enough to challenge you. You haven’t even drawn your sword yet, but the way you look at them, sharp, unreadable, deadly, makes them hesitate.

Zoro leans against the railing, watching with amusement. He already knows how this will go.

One of the bounty hunters shifts nervously “Y-you gonna fight or what?”

You tilt your head, smiling faintly “You first.”

There’s a moment of hesitation. Then they charge. Big mistake.

Zoro watches as you dodge effortlessly, your blade a blur. The fight lasts seconds. By the time you sheath your sword, your opponents are on the ground, groaning in pain.

Silence. Then, Luffy cheers from the mast “That was awesome!”

Zoro smirks. Damn right it was.

You turn to him, raising an eyebrow “You just gonna watch?”

He shrugs with a smirk “I was enjoying watching... and didn’t wanna get in your way.”

You walk over, stopping in front of him “You’re getting lazy.”

He scoffs “Oh yeah?”

You lean in, voice low “Yeah. Maybe I should fight you next.”

Zoro feels a familiar rush of excitement. His hand twitches toward his swords “You sure you can keep up?”

You smirk “Try me.”

And just like that, he’s gone.

Lost in you, in the fight, in the thrill of having someone who meets him blow for blow.

You’re terrifying. And beautiful. And stronger than hell.

And he wouldn’t have you any other way.

── .✦ Vinsmoke Sanji:

Sanji has seen all kinds of people. Beautiful women, powerful warriors, even actual monsters. But he’s never met anyone like you.

You meet in a quiet, dimly lit tavern. The crew stops for a meal, and Sanji, always on the lookout for interesting faces, notices you immediately.

You sit in the darkest corner, barely touching your drink. Your posture is relaxed, but there’s something wrong about it, like you could strike at any moment. The air around you feels heavy.

People glance at you and quickly look away. A group of bounty hunters at a nearby table seem tense, whispering among themselves.

Sanji watches as one of them inches toward the door. His hands are shaking.

That’s when he realizes, they’re afraid of you. A lot.

Sanji takes a slow drag of his cigarette. Interesting.

“Hey cook, what are you doing there, standing like an idiot.” Zoro says while they all sit at a table.

He’s about to turn back to his crew and reply to that marimo when the bartender makes a mistake and accidentally spills a drink on your sleeve.

The entire tavern stops breathing.

The bartender goes pale “I—I’m so sorry—”

You say nothing. You don’t even look at him. Just slowly, carefully, you pick up a napkin and wipe your sleeve.

The silence stretches.

Sanji almost laughs at how scared everyone looks. What, do they think you’re gonna kill him for a drink spill?

The bartender swallows “Please, let me—”

“It’s fine” you say.

Your voice is quiet. Smooth. Too calm.

The bartender flinches anyway.

Sanji watches as you set the napkin down, push your drink away, and stand. You turn toward the door, and the crowd parts around you, everyone desperate to get out of your way.

Sanji, curious as hell, does the exact opposite.

He steps into your path, smiling “Leaving so soon?”

You stop and lift your gaze, as everyone there gasps.

Most people can’t meet Sanji’s eyes for long. His confidence, his sharpness, it makes them squirm. But you?

You stare right through him.

For the first time in a long time, Sanji feels his heart skip.

“…Who are you?” he asks.

You tilt your head slightly “Does it matter?”

That voice. Calm. Slow. Like a knife dragging against silk.

Sanji exhales smoke, smirking “I’d like to think so.”

You study him. And for some reason, he feels like he’s the one being hunted.

Then you smile, small, unreadable “See you around… cook.”

And just like that, you’re gone.

Sanji stands there, heart pounding as he thinks, oh, I’m in trouble.

Years Later – Sanji likes to think he doesn’t scare easy. He’s faced warlords, monsters, and the wrath of Nami’s fist.

But nothing terrifies him more than the way you just appear.

“Sanji.”

“GAH—!”

He jumps, nearly dropping the plate he’s holding. You’re suddenly right next to him, quiet as a shadow.

He clutches his chest “How do you do that?!”

You blink “Do what?”

“That!” He gestures at you wildly “I didn’t hear you at all! You just—just materialized!”

You tilt your head, amused “I walked in.”

“No, you haunted in.”

You hum in thought “Maybe you should pay more attention.”

Sanji groans, running a hand through his hair “You’re gonna kill me one day, I swear.”

“Wouldn’t be much fun,” you say, smirking slightly “I’d miss this.”

Sanji pauses. Then, with a slow, dramatic sigh, he pulls you into a hug.

You stiffen at first, but he’s patient. He knows you’re not used to softness.

When you relax, he kisses the top of your head “You’re cruel, y’know that?”

“Am I?”

“You make my heart stop every damn day.”

You smile against his chest “Good.”

── .✦ Trafalgar D. Law:

Law prides himself on being composed. No matter the situation, he never loses control.

But then he meets you, and for the first time in a long time, he feels something close to unease.

It happens on a stormy night. The Heart Pirates dock at a quiet island, and Law sets off alone, drawn by rumors of a dangerous individual hiding in town. Some say you’re a ghost, others call you a demon.

He doesn’t believe in superstition. But he believes in threats.

So when he finds you in the ruins outside of town, standing perfectly still, eyes dark and unreadable, he watches you carefully.

“You’ve been causing trouble” he says, testing your reaction.

You don’t move. Don’t speak. The wind howls through the ruins, but you remain as still as a statue.

Most people shift under his gaze. But you? You don’t even blink.

Law narrows his eyes “Who are you?”

Finally, you tilt your head “You already know, don’t you?”

Your voice is calm. Steady. Wrong.

It reminds him of the quiet before a scalpel slices skin.

Law tightens his grip on Kikoku “What’s your ability?”

You step forward, and the ground cracks beneath your foot. A shadow flickers at the edge of his vision, stretching unnaturally.

“Does it matter?” you ask.

Law doesn’t flinch. But something deep in his chest tightens.

Because he knows that feeling. The quiet hum of danger.

And yet, instead of fear, he feels something else. Intrigue. He's actually really attracted and he can't deny it.

It takes Law a while to notice. To really notice.

Because you’re fearless in battle. You fight like a force of nature, silent and merciless, the kind of presence that makes enemies pray they don’t cross your path. You don’t just win fights, you end them.

And yet, when you’re with the crew, you’re… different.

Law catches it in small moments.

The way you ruffle Bepo’s fur when you think no one’s looking. The way you always make sure Penguin and Shachi get extra food after a long day. The way you quietly fix things around the ship before anyone else notices they’re broken.

And he feels it most with him. Like when you sit beside him in the submarine’s dimly lit halls, comfortable in silence, just existing next to him without expectation. Or when you lean against him after a rough mission, exhaustion making you a little softer, a little less guarded.

Or, most obviously, when you think he’s asleep.

He catches you once, fingers brushing against his hair, barely there, like you’re memorizing the shape of him.

He should say something. Call you out. But he doesn’t.

Because for some reason, the realization that the person who terrifies even seasoned killers, is so unbelievably gentle with him?

It does something to him.

Something dangerous.

Years Later – Being in a relationship with you comes with some complications.

Like right now.

“Sit still, damn it” Law mutters, pressing bandages against your side.

You sigh “It’s just a scratch.”

Law glares at you “It’s a stab wound.”

You shrug “Same thing.”

He clenches his jaw, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him “I swear, you are the worst patient I’ve ever had.”

You smirk “And yet, I’m still your favorite.”

Law groans, but he doesn’t deny it.

Because despite everything, your terrifying strength, your eerie presence, your complete disregard for injuries, he can’t help but be drawn to you.

You are the only person who unsettles him. And somehow, you’ve also become the one person he trusts the most.

He huffs, finishing the bandages “Try not to die.”

You grin, leaning in “Worried about me, doctor?”

“Tch” He flicks your forehead “Shut up.”

And despite himself, he smiles.

The next time you get hurt, Law doesn’t even bother hiding his frustration.

“You’re reckless,” he mutters, tightening the bandage around your arm “One of these days, you’re gonna get yourself killed.”

You watch him, amused “Would you miss me?”

He scowls “Shut up”

You smirk “You would.”

Law clicks his tongue, looking away. He hates how smug you sound. Hates it even more because you’re right.

Instead of answering, he sighs, finishing the bandage. Then, before he can talk himself out of it, he presses a hand against your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek.

“You’re lucky I like you” he mutters.

For the first time, you freeze.

Then, slowly, you smile. And Law knows he’s in so much trouble.

── .✦ Portgas D. Ace:

On a nameless island, a pit stop for pirates and criminals alike, Ace hears the rumors first, stories about a lone warrior, someone so deadly that even bounty hunters won’t go near them.

He thinks it sounds like fun.

So when he walks into a bar and sees everyone stiffening at the mere sight of someone sitting in the corner, he knows he’s found you.

You sit alone, idly spinning a knife between your fingers. Your expression is calm, unreadable, but the tension in the room is thick.

Ace grins, making his way over “Mind if I sit?”

You don’t look up “Do what you want.”

He plops down across from you, resting his chin in his hand “Y’know, people are real scared of you.”

Silence.

Ace watches you carefully. You don’t move like a normal fighter. There’s something off about the way you breathe, the way your presence lingers like a shadow stretching too far.

It should probably freak him out.

Instead, it makes his blood rush.

“So,” he continues, smirking “What’s your deal? You a bounty hunter? Are you here to fight?”

You finally meet his eyes. Your gaze is sharp, calculating, like you’re dissecting him without lifting a finger.

"I was just curious who everyone was talking about, turns out it was you."

“…You’re not scared of me?”

Ace grins wider “Should I be?”

The knife in your hand stops spinning and or a split second, the air feels heavy.

Then, slowly, you smirk “Maybe? You tell me. That's what you came here for, isn't it?”

Ace laughs. Loud, bright, genuine.

And just like that, he decides that he actually finds you very attractive, and isn't letting you go so easily.

Years Later – Ace still remembers the first time he saw you fight.

He has always been the kind of guy who laughs in the face of danger.

He doesn’t hesitate to charge into battle, doesn’t flinch at the thought of death. He’s faced warlords, marines, even entire armies.

But when he saw you fighting? For the first time in his life, he felt like prey, even if you weren't fighting him.

How you moved like a phantom, striking fast, silent, merciless. How your enemies barely had time to scream before they hit the ground.

Everyone calls you terrifying. A monster. A nightmare in a human form.

And yet, right now, curled up against him, grumbling sleepily as he wraps his arms around you Ace can’t help but laugh.

You groan “What? You going crazy now?”

“You,” he teases, resting his chin on top of your head “You’re supposed to be the scariest person alive, but look at you.”

You swat at his chest “Shut up.”

Ace just grins, pulling you closer “Nah. I like reminding you.”

"You're always so annoying..." you say turning to not let him see you blush.

Because despite the way you fight, despite the way you terrify your enemies, Ace has seen what no one else has.

How you tuck into his blankets when you're alone. How you always make sure the crew eats before you do. How you fuss over him when he pretends his injuries don’t hurt.

You act all tough, all sharp edges and killing intent.

But Ace knows the truth.

You’re soft. At least, with him.

And that makes him fall for you even more.

He turn your head so that he can see you and with a smirk he says "Don't worry you're hot both ways, I don't mind your soft side at all"

Then he kiss your forehead and you try to hide again, making him laugh softly.

── .✦ Shanks:

Shanks has seen a lot in his life.

He’s fought warlords, crossed paths with the most dangerous men on the seas, and stared death in the face with a grin.

But when he meets you, he realizes he’s never met someone who could scare him and turn him on at the same time.

It happens in a crowded port town, where pirates and mercenaries walk side by side, tension thick in the air. Shanks and his crew are enjoying a round of drinks when Benn nudges him, nodding toward a shadowed corner of the bar.

“Oi, I found out that one’s got quite the reputation.”

Shanks follows his gaze and sees you.

You sit alone, posture relaxed but too still. There’s something about you... something in the way the people around you refuse to meet your eyes, in the way the bartender serves you with hands that tremble, scared to even do his own job.

The crew isn’t easily shaken, but even they seem wary.

Shanks just grins. Because if there’s one thing he can’t resist, it’s a challenge.

“Think I’ll go say hi.”

Benn sighs “Of course you will. Never doubted it.”

Shanks strolls over, drink in hand, and slides into the seat across from you without asking.

You don’t react. Just lift your gaze and meet his like you’re peering into his soul.

He whistles “You’ve got quite the stare.”

“You’ve got quite the nerve...” you reply smoothly.

Shanks chuckles “I get that a lot, actually.”

Silence stretches between you. He expects you to get annoyed, to tell him to leave, but surprisingly you don’t.

You just watch him. Measuring. Calculating. And damn if it doesn’t send a thrill up his spine.

Finally, you speak “You’re not scared of me.”

Shanks smirks, tipping his drink toward you “Should I be?”

Your eyes glint with something sharp. Dangerous. Interested.

“Maybe not, but who knows.”

Shanks leans forward, grinning “I like my odds.”

"I can see it..."

Years Later - “You’re doing it again” Benn mutters.

Shanks blinks “Doing what?”

Benn nods toward you. You’re across the deck, casually sharpening a blade, the crew giving you a very wide berth.

“You’re staring like a love-struck idiot” Benn sighs.

Shanks laughs “Can you blame me?”

Because despite years of being with you, despite knowing exactly how terrifying you can be, Shanks still finds himself completely captivated whenever you're fighting or not.

He’s seen you end fights with a single strike, watched entire battlefields fall silent at your presence. You are ruthless when necessary, the kind of person who doesn’t waste time with threats, just action.

And yet when you think no one’s watching, he sees the little things.

How you make sure the younger crew members eat first. How you adjust someone’s coat when they’re not paying attention. How, late at night, when exhaustion weighs heavy, you let yourself lean into him.

And Shanks?

He eats it up.

Because out of everyone in the world, you choose to be soft only with him.

Later that night, as you both sit on the deck watching the waves, Shanks stretches, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

You roll your eyes but don’t push him away.

He grins “Y’know, for someone so scary, you’re kinda sweet.”

You turn, raising a brow “Wanna say that again?”

Shanks chuckles “Not if I value my life, and I do.”

You smirk, leaning against him just a little.

And that small, rare gesture is worth more to him than any treasure. He's totally in your hands, can you believe it? Because even he something looks at himself and shake his own head at the thought, but at the end who cares? He's with the most attractive person out there.

── .✦ Sabo:

Sabo isn’t the type to scare easily.

He has fought world nobles, infiltrated enemy territory, and stared death in the face more times than he can count. Fear isn’t something he entertains, it’s something he’s learned to push aside, to control.

But when he meets you?

For the first time in a long while, he actually hesitates.

It happens in a revolution-friendly town, the kind of place where people whisper about rebellion but fear retaliation too much to act. Sabo’s here on business, but what he doesn’t expect is to hear a name spoken in hushed, almost fearful tones.

A name that isn’t a government official or a bounty hunter, but yours.

“Who are they?” he asks a local, intrigued.

The man pales “Someone you don’t want to cross.”

Sabo just smirks “Is that so?”

He should probably be cautious. Should probably listen to the fear in the man’s voice.

But instead, he just wants to meet you more.

You’re exactly as the rumors say. You're cold, calculating and dangerous.

When Sabo finds you, you don’t attack him. You just watch him. Still. Silent. Your presence alone feels heavy, like the weight of an unseen blade resting against his throat, daring him to make a wrong move.

Most people would crack under it.

Sabo just grins “Heard a lot about you.”

You don’t react “Likewise.”

He hums, studying you. Most would be unnerved by your unwavering stare, the cold calculation in your eyes. But Sabo finds it fascinating. Finds you fascinating.

He hums, studying you “And? What’s your verdict?”

Your eyes narrow slightly, assessing him like he’s prey “Too early to tell. I don't judge based on rumors.”

For a moment, the two of you just stand there, a quiet tension settling between you. Sabo knows he should be cautious, he knows he’s facing someone whose strength is being feared even among revolutionaries.

But all he can think is — Damn. They’re kinda hot.

Years Later – It’s funny.

Everyone fears you. The Revolutionary Army sees you as a force of nature, one of their strongest, deadliest members. You’re efficient in battle, merciless when necessary. People whisper about you in the same breath as high-ranking officers, speaking of you like a phantom, something to be respected, but never approached.

But Sabo sees more than just the deadly aura that makes people tread lightly.

He sees the way your eyes gleam with amusement when a mission goes exactly as planned. He sees the way you tilt your head in interest, studying your enemies as if they’re puzzles to be solved before being discarded. He sees the way you move, every motion precise, effortless, a dance with death that you never lose.

And he loves it.

Loves the sharp edges, the lethal grace, the way you make his heart race, not with fear, but with something far more intoxicating.

And yet, he also sees the moments no one else does.

You, sitting beside him late at night, absentmindedly tracing circles against his palm.

You, making sure Koala doesn’t overwork herself, leaving her favorite snacks on her desk without a word.

You, rolling your eyes but still letting Sabo pull you into a hug after a long mission, even though your reputation could probably shatter just from being seen indulging him.

“You know,” he teases one night, tilting his head, “for someone so scary, you’re kind of a softie.”

You give him a flat look “Take that back.”

Sabo laughs, eyes gleaming with challenge “Nope. Never gonna happen.”

You grumble something under your breath but don’t pull away, and he counts that as a win.

Because out of everyone in the world, he knows you’re only ever like this with him.

And as much as he adores every part of you, it’s that razor-sharp danger in your eyes, that power in your every movement, that makes his blood sing.

It’s terrifying. It’s exhilarating.

And damn, does he love you for it.

── .✦ Crocodile:

Crocodile has met aaaall kinds of people.

Cowards who grovel at his feet. Fools who think they can challenge him. Liars who smile while plotting his downfall.

But you? You don’t fit into any category.

Because when he first meets you, standing over the broken bodies of bounty hunters, face calm, eyes cold, he doesn’t see fear. He doesn’t see arrogance.

He sees power.

And for the first time in a long while, he’s interested.

When in Rainbase, long after the fall of Baroque Works, Crocodile has been rebuilding, regaining influence, cutting down anyone foolish enough to think he’s lost his edge.

And then you show up.

A ghost in the desert, they call you. A storm without warning. The kind of person who doesn’t make threats, just leaves bodies in their wake.

Crocodile hears the whispers. He almost ignores them.

Until one of his men ends up dead.

Then it's when he decides it’s time to meet you himself.

He finds you in a back alley, wiping blood from your blade.

You don’t look surprised to see him.

“You’ve been causing many problems” he says, exhaling smoke.

You tilt your head, unconcerned “That depends on who you ask.”

Crocodile’s lips curl into something amused. He’s used to people trembling in his presence. But you? You just stand there, watching him with the same detached intensity one might give a corpse.

It should irritate him.

Instead, it makes his blood thrill.

“I don’t like loose ends,” he says “So tell me, why shouldn’t I kill you?”

For the first time, you smile.

Not kind. Not warm.

Just sharp. Cold. Dangerous.

“You could try, I'm happy if you try.”

The air shifts.

Crocodile’s grip on his cigar tightens. His instincts, honed from years of surviving the worst of the worst, tell him that fighting you would not be easy.

And he likes that.

Years Later – Most people don’t look him in the eye.

Most people don’t speak without permission, don’t challenge his decisions, don’t dare to stand too close.

You do all of that.

And Crocodile lets you.

Because unlike the weaklings who grovel before him, you don’t need protection. You don’t need his power to survive.

You’re strong. Cold. Unshaken by blood or war.

And that makes you the only person truly worth his time.

One night, you’re both on the balcony of his hideout, looking down at the city below.

Crocodile exhales smoke, glancing at you “Most people would rather die than be in my company.”

You don’t even blink “Most people are weak.”

He chuckles, low and dark “That so?”

You finally meet his gaze, and in your eyes, he sees something sharp. Something dangerous.

Something that matches him.

He smirks.

Because finally, after years of dealing with fools, liars, and cowards, he’s found someone who is exactly his kind of monster.

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