#IM LITERALLY TREMBLING

[applejongho]

holy fucking shit logging on to say um I got referred to a hiring manager for the job I really fucking want um holy fuck I'm probably going to get an interview HOLY FUCKING SHIT

[inkskinned]

one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.

the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.

like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.

but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.

so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.

i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?

but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?

sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?

and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.

nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.

the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!

and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.

[hyunpic]

HYUNJIN FOR W KOREA & KILIAN PARIS [scans]

[sentientsky]

"I forgive you." It came out like a blood clot—like an artery dripping gore—like an oil spill. Crowley felt his shoulders rise, fall, fall, fall. The air between them hummed, the tension of six thousand years turning every atom electrified and silently screaming. Breath shuddered out of him, human and terrible and hollowing. He had never been more grateful for the swallowing darkness of his glasses, for the way they hid the centuries of pre-emptive grief and wicked terror. The air was suffocating, the once familiar bookshop turned catacomb.

And then, hating himself for it but seeing no other way forward, he spoke the words aloud. "Don't bother". And then he was out in the middle of Soho and the breeze was harsh against his too-warm skin. Stepping out into the sun felt like rising to the surface of some great ocean—the gasping, desperate feeling in his lungs, the sudden crash of noise. A woman across the street called for her wife. A car horn. A dog barking. Laughter, cruel and far-off. He pulled breath into lungs that didn't need it, winced as he felt slivers of cold drive into the soft flesh of his throat.

So that was it; five and a half million years of want and need and burning, aching somedays, cyphered pleas for "our side". All gone in the space between shaking half-breaths and a kiss still seared against his lips.

Fuck it.

He'd ruined it the first time, had forced them both to look directly into the sun, to face the thing they'd been dancing around for the better part of six millennia. He could do better—would do better. At a music café some years ago, a human had been playing the piano—something soft and slow. A jazz number, if the demon remembered correctly. But the remarkable thing wasn’t the song itself, but that they were playing it with their eyes closed. Aziraphale had pointed this fact out to Crowley, excitement lilting in his voice (even then, the sound had thrilled him, sent a stab of warmth through his heart). It was only after the final note reverberated through the room that the artist opened their eyes, blinking in the sudden rush of stage lights. Aziraphale, ever the music connoisseur, approached the musician. The pianist had explained that, for them, reading music never came easy. Rather, they learned by touch, by the way the keys felt on their fingertips. In fact, the only way they could play a song was with their eyes closed. If they watched their hands as they played or thought too hard about their next move, they got confused and tripped over the notes. Muscle memory, they’d said.  It was muscle memory—the galactic familiarity of finding the space between seconds and prying—that guided Crowley now. He hadn’t done it since Not-Armageddon, but it came easily to him just the same. Time, you see, operates kind of like sound, like music; it loops and sways and carries forward in waves. If you know where to look (as the demon did), you can disrupt the flow, send it back towards the shore. 

And this was what Crowley did now. Drawing his hands through the ripples of minutes and seconds and hours and millennia, time stilled around him. It was natural. Easy, like breathing or sleeping. Or loving Aziraphale.  Slowly, the world turned backwards; humans retreating from whence they came, cars driving in reverse, the wind blowing in the opposite direction. If Heaven had taken notice of their "half-a-miracle", Crowley expected them to be able to see this from every edge of the universe. He likely only had one shot at this.

The world aligned itself once more, and time returned to its regular, steady gait—a rubber band snapping back into place. Something hummed in Crowley’s chest. Something bright and burning and the shape of a neutron star.  Hands shaking, he reached for the handle of the bookshop and pushed. The bell above the door rang, clear and and too-loud in the morning air. Aziraphale whirled around, a trembling half-smile on his face. Oh. Oh, somebody, this was going to be harder than he thought. It felt like all the oxygen, all the courage, had been punched clear out of him "Crowley!" A beat, a shuddering breath. "Angel". He pressed his still-trembling hands into his pockets and strode forward. "Oh, Crowley, dear, I've been looking for you. I have excellent news." His stomach did a little flip, something deep within him growing hollow and fearful. "We have to talk," he managed to choke out around the heart still lodged in his throat. "Yes, I quite think we do. I have something to tell you." Aziraphale strode forward, all grins and beauty like a flickering star, all plasma and heat. He could practically feel the agitated warmth roll off of his angel. Crowley shivered. "I just met with the Meta—” "No. Wait," the demon held up a hand, pausing the rushing torrent of Aziraphale’s words. "Just let me say my thing, please." "My dear boy, just—oh, what is that lovely human expression—"

"Hold that thought," Crowley muttered. His eyes burned behind his glasses. Aziraphale looked pleasantly taken aback.

"Yes, how did you know? I—" "No." The angel's eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "No?" "No," he repeated, enunciating each letter with perfect clarity. He was going to do it right this time. He was going to keep him from leaving. He could be good. Right? "I’m gonna speak, and I want you to listen to me without interrupting, m'kay?" Words were building in the basin of his sternum now, pushing up on his airways. He was going to have to say it outright this time; no more waltzing around this frenzied galaxy of emotion. Willing his hands to steadiness, he pulled his glasses from his face, and tucked them into the collar of his shirt. Aziraphale's breath seemed to catch for a moment, meeting the ferocity of the demon's gaze head-on. A deer in headlights. And then, "Crowley, I really—" (Eons hurtled through his mind in a split second, the serrated knife's-edge of want like a being all its own. Aziraphale in the garden. Aziraphale in the tavern, on the cliffside, on the West End stage, in the Bentley, in the bookshop, in the very marrow of Crowley’s bones.) "I love you," he rasped, ichor writhing in his veins.

There, he'd said it., said it fully and completely, without so much as flinching. It was the same love he'd expressed for the past several thousand years in a million little, unspoken ways: an ox rib, a revolution, a church, a burning bookshop and the bottom of a glass and a lost best friend. A yellow Bentley, a lifetime of tethering his life to Aziraphale's, of trailing after him like a moth to flame—like a dog to its owner. "I love you," he pushed on. They were both looking directly into the sun again, Crowley urging them to stare straight into the heat of it all. The words were spilling out of him now, a heaving, thrashing current falling to the bookshop's hardwood floors. "I love you and you can't go to Heaven." Aziraphale froze, pupils blown wide and unblinking, for just a moment. Tension stretched out like a thread between them. And then he pulled in breath like a drowning man (who wasn't really a man at all), and tears were gathering in the corner of his eyes, and oh god, he'd made his angel cry. Fear and guilt and horror slammed into him at a million kilometers an hour and left him halfway between dizzy and nauseous. His fingers tensed at his side, desperate to do something, fix what he'd so obviously broken. Heaven would be on the front step any moment. It was too late, wasn't it? It was always too late. "Crowley—what?" Aziraphale breathed, mouth twisting into a brutal, terrible, heart-wrenching sob. Crowley ached, panic lancing through him like a knife. "I—I really, I can't. You could come with me." He stepped forward, moving to place his hands on the demon's shoulders. Crowley leaned into the touch, almost unconsciously. "Don't go," he croaked, tears beginning to prick his own eyes once again. This time he didn't reach for his glasses, didn't try to hide his fear. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. And then Aziraphale could hate him and his desperate, hungry, reverent love in the aftermath. "Don't go where I can't follow. Please".

His angels blue-grey eyes searched his own, and the weight of his gaze was impossibly heavy, pressing down on his chest like a river-smoothed rock. "Crowley, please. I don't understand. The Metatron said—" His palms found the sides of Crowley's throat, thumbs resting gently on the side of his jaw. Crowley sucked in a breath. "Angel," The scent of earl grey—of old books and soft tartan chairs. Aziraphale's hands were shaking. "I know what the Metatron said," he intoned, soft as rainfall. "You can't go. It's not—they won't change. You're better than that." "But you could be an angel. With me," he murmured, soft thumbs running across sharp cheekbones. "Be my second-in-command." "Don't want to be. Want t' be an us," he felt tears—traitorous, burning tears tip over the edge of his lashes and fall against his face. "Crowley, darling, please." A beat. "I love you." The bottom of the world dropped out from under him in that moment. Aziraphale loved him. He loved him and he'd said it aloud and now it was out there in the world and it was as though every nerve on his body was on fire. His angel pushed on, "Truly, I love you. I need you with me. Please, come with me. We can do good, I know it." He could never say no when his angel asked something of him. Especially not when his kind, gentle hands were holding him like something good, something precious. Especially not when Aziraphale had just admitted to needing him, had injected the word with so much warmth he thought his all-too-human heart might beat clear out of his chest. But there was a first (technically, second) time for everything. He drew in a heavy breath, and tilted his head, breaking his angel's hold on him. Aziraphale's hands—now empty, still shook. He made a soft whimpering sound, and Crowley ached to kiss his fingertips, banish the fear. But instead, he looked up towards the ceiling, to a God who was not there—who maybe had never been there at all. He felt the Heavenly Host drawing near, a sense of hollow emptiness, the scent of absence. This was the time of last-ditch efforts, of holding his heart out and hoping Aziraphale might take it as it was, bruised spots and all. "I can't. I won't. I need to be here, on Earth, with you." "Crowley, please. I don't think you understand what I'm offering you," he huffed. A residual shard of anger stabbed at him then, and he turned his gaze sharply back to the angel before him. "Oh, I understand perfectly well, angel. I'm fairly certain I understand better than you do." Aziraphale's mouth drew into a thin line, tears welling fresh in his eyes again. And still, Crowley ached. A beat. Something in the angel shifted, then, turned on its edge—the walls beginning to go up again, and it was just like it had been not fifteen minutes ago. He was watching the same moment play out over and over again; some cyclical, torrential nightmare. "I would like you to come with me, but," Aziraphale paused, voice breaking in the middle. "But I'm leaving, with or without you." And there it was, like it was predestined. Despite the love, despite the want, despite every shared bottle passed between them, every half-accidental touch and glance and whispered word—despite the way he would’ve let Aziraphale run a sword through his chest... It wasn't enough. It was never enough. They were re-enacting their old magic trick, right there in the bookshop, this time with Crowley staring down the barrel, letting Aziraphale pull the trigger. Aim for my mouth, but shoot past my ear. Aziraphale wasn't shooting past his ear. His bloody ribcage felt as though it might splinter apart. Wingbeats in the distance, a grief wide enough to drown the sea. Crowley reached down, pulled his sunglasses from their resting spot against his clavicle. And then the hunger in his eyes was once more hidden, and he was walking towards the door like a man headed to execution. "Crowley—" Aziraphale nearly keened, the wall crumbling for a split second. Without turning, Crowley said the only words he could think of. "I forgive you."

[moonstruckdraws]

Plant Portraits

(pst- psssssst!- Hey, hey you. Yeah, you! Want to see something cool? look at this post by @hellishgayliath. It's about the characters shown here! They worked on it for a week straight, so check it out!) . . .

Hi, yes, hi, hello. Yeaaaaaah- steering away from the angst me & Helli brewed while I recover from crying. This was inspired exactly a month ago from this ask I made to Helli ask bout their oc's fav plants. I wanted to try out a new rendering style & thought this be a good opportunity + plant practice

Pico; He likes cinnamon plants/trees & likes to knaw on cinnamon sticks. So I did cinnamon plants! Specifically Cinnamomum cassia, or known as Chinese cassia, that is the most commonly sold cinnamon in North America (yes you are getting plant facts this took longer to research than to draw mainly because I like learning but that's besides the point and I wanna share knowledge) I really like how the leaves came out! Twas very fun. His plants are well maintained, healthy, & green (maybe too green lol) which shows his craft in gardening & care. Luci doesn't have teeth, so she can't really 'knaw' on things, so she didn't like trying Pico's snacks when she stole one. She was coughing on cinnamon for the next hour after. Pico laughed at her, obviously Ingenuity: the quality of being clever, original, and inventive

Bao; He likes wisteria flowers, the purple variation (my fav colour)! I loved loved LOVED coloring these plants, but it feels the most empty out of all of them (Clem is all over the place lmao) but I also kinda like it. Like it reflects their personalities this way, like he's the most upkept in society (despite his utter lack of gardening knowledge). Apparently, American wisteria is a host plant to native butterflies and moths! Add that to another reason Luci likes Bao lol. I feel like anytime she comes to the tea shop, Bao would bring her to the garden he & Pico would be working on. And everytime he's show her the plants he managed on his own they'd be drooping and dying lmao. Bao would be so confused & Luci is just unsurprised. And yes, I did think of & look at the wisteria in demon slayer Versatility: the ability to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities

Clem; She likes (take 3 seconds to guess) citrus fruits!! Like her name. So I of course did citrus fruits, lemons & oranges. She has my FAVORITE pose, her reaching for the fruit while juggling some in her other arm is adorable. And of course that cute face of hers! Her plants are just EVERYWHERE & is the only one to touch the ends of the canvas (that I wanted to avoid but oh well, it didn't look good otherwise). Besides, it shows her big personality and chaotic energy children have. Apparently, they're sometimes called 'Christmas oranges' because they're in season in winter months. I thought that was interesting. Does Clem like the cold, Helli or does she despise it like Pico lol? Apparently, they are also those cuties or halos oranges I use to devour as a child lol. And because of said memory, I say that Clem does too. I like to think Luci learns to share, like a child, from Clem, a said child. Luci sells back people's stuff overpriced all the time, and only shares things with Repo. She obviously isn't sharing anything with Pico & she mainly hangs out with Bao at the tea shop so she only buys things. She stole Clem's fruits in front of her once. Let's just say a bunch of sad faces and crying, not only bleed her earholes, but made her feel bad (but she'll never admit it). Does she share things now? Kindaaaaa- no. No, not at all. Only Clem & Repo Affability: the quality of being friendly and easy to talk to

aaaand my inspo board just cuz I was going to draw Vera, I really was! (I was so FRICKIN EXCITED to draw the plant with the braided stock next to the pink flower) but... one look at her head and the pose I chose, I said "No."

Bao was already troubling enough I don't need to build up hate to a character I barely know & already like by getting frustrated with their head (again). So no Vera, Helli, sorrys. Her descriptor was going to be 'nobility' btw

GO CHECK OUT HELLI'S POST IT'S SO GOOD (sad) BUT AMAZING!

[martyrbat]

special loving shout-out to people who had to give up a hobby, passion, or dream because of their disability/disabilities. its okay to feel disappointed or angry you cant do the things you want to do & i love you all and hope you find the same happiness and comfort in other things soon.

[dulciechi]

[demigod-of-the-agni]

call me insane, but if Jenova (and to some extension, Sephiroth) can appear as anyone you know, fear or love, what are the chances that Cloud kills someone else in this scene

And Sephiroth hugging Cloud? it's just that other person slumping over him as they die

[torturedpoettsv]

bhai aaj result aaya hai aur sab aise treat kar rahe hai aur aisa lag raha hai ki mera birthday do din pehle hone ki jagah aaj hi ho

[maddyshome]

"im lonely because im the strongest" SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP STOP. PLEASE TUMBLR MAKE IT STOPPPPPPP. enough with the mf metas about how tragic is it that gojo or/and sukuna are so lonely and no one gets them. I DONT CAREEEEEEE. Yeah, thats right. I do not care. I do not even want to get either of them. In fact the more I understand them the more I realize they are trash. Fffucking Mahito was more interesting as a character than whatever this is.

STOP IT YOU ENTITLED BUFFOONS. why the fuckkkk all of you care so much. enough.

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

god its 1am i cannot be doing this

[guinevereslancelot]

why are old people so sad lol

[fembutchboygirl]

I just learned something so incredibly fucked up

[5hrignold]

we MIGHT be back we MAY OR MAY NOT be back

[zarvasace]

Animatic update

89/192 seconds boarded

15% done! :D

[elinorapologist]

Um.. UM. uM um UUUMMMMM...... I JUST GOT A SPOILER FOR OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH. A spoiler. A SPOILER LIKE NO OTHER