#IM FREAKING OUT A BIT.
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So I think my cat is an avatar of the corruption #not kidding
#andiv3r rambles#andiv3r rambles about the magnus archives#tma#the magnus archives#the corruption#holy fucking shit#i'll explain further in a second but NO#I AM NOT KIDDING. LIKE AT ALL.#IM FREAKING OUT A BIT.
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obligatory beach divorce doodling
bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#xmen#xmen movies#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#'snap i thought you were drawing old cherik this weekend' so did i but i was inflicted with visions sorry </3#i have my lil 92 comic sketched so ill do that tomorrow. not finish it but ill work on it 💀#i wsa just gonna draw the first thing but then i figureed i might as well draw Most of the beach-divorce-related things i want to#just so i could put it all on one post. however this is a lie and i know ill wanna doodle more beach stuff#the first drawing Unsurprisingly was motivated BY the xmen 41 legion quest cover- at the very least the total blackout of erik's face#i wanna draw more of erik using his powers .. i wanna figure out how i wanna draw the effect etc etc#i was just gonna redraw the cover but i already liked the sketch i did of the first thing so. here we are#plus i figure someones already done a redraw of the cover but if anyone cares ill finish my version ig LOL#as for the comic ermmm it was just an excuse to draw erik with glowing eyes </3 and fading-glowing eyes </3#thats why i didnt draw the whole. Choking Moira bit. but i wouldve if i was redrawing the whole scene#kinda wish i did now that i think of it cause it coulda looked cooler prob but oh well maybe in like. three months when i redraw this#for exactly five cents ill redraw the whole beach divorce erlkjealkaje i can see it so clearly in my mind#what if first class was a comic drawn by a freak thatd be wild#but yeah thats why everything look rough as christ these were just supposed to be silly lil thangs#'silly things' and its beach divorce OK.#ok bye im gonna do my homework
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Couldn’t stop thinking about Dust being able to pass as Classic. So I had an idea where Dust replaces Classic in a timeline and steals(?) his partner.
He gets conflicted when he starts actually caring about you… But denial is an easy road to take when there’s seemingly no consequences to your actions.
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The reveal i guess. Most normal reaction to learning your partners been replaced for god knows how long and you have no clue where he is.
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Now that I think about it I might’ve gotten some inspiration from that one chapter of IJAG by @htsan (iykyk) only a lil bit tho
(Full rambling of the idea + extra sketch cuz i liked the expression) ↓↓
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I originally wanted y/n to notice the differences instantly but i think it would be angstier if they didn’t and only noticed like months later >:3
#hoodies are hard#i need to practice more#hrmmm#also i guess the new sona is staying#lol#theres much more to this but basically dust gets attached#he was not prepared to get attached (dumbass lmao)#you may ask ‘oh he can just kill them why does he look so scared?’#hes scared of losing them#hes selfish#theres so much angst potential here hehehoo#the idea of sans just being trapped in a basement unable to teleport out for whatever reason… help him…#dust trying to get information out of him about y/n while taunting him about how easy he is to replace#but theres also a funny side to it cuz like. ‘hey whats your favorite movie again?’ ‘Very funny sans#You know what my favorite movie is…’#Dust who has no fucking clue: ‘ehehe yeah i know im just joking’ *hes actually freaking out a bit on the inside*#sans#dust sans#my beloved#my beloathed#sans x self insert#sans x reader#sans x you#undertale au#fic idea#prolly a oneshot#leafs art#replaced au
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This is the first and only time we ever see them in one room btw(and they're already less than a meter apart how sweet)
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And yes one of them is dead
If you're delusional you also can count this one/j
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#you dont wanna know how long i tried to find these pics#it seems like the ship is getting even more popular in some platform#bc i actually just saw ddakho edit and freaked out#ddakho#hwang jun ho#the salesman#squid game#junho x salesman#sorry for this again but im a bit desperate(a lot actually)#457#gihun x inho#im really sorry :(
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"who knows, maybe I'll see you again in real life soon" YOU CANT SAY THAT DANIEL U CANNOT IM FRAGILE!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!
#dan and phil#daniel howell#FREAKING OUT#TOUR????? WHAT#HE MENTIONED TOUR A BIT ASWELL BC OF A SLIT QUESTION TOO OUGHHH#No fucking WAY#dnp#phan#technically?#danisnotonfire#dan howell#people who went im so jealous
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An Open Letter to Dan and Phil
Dear beloved nerds,
This was originally going to be an (even longer) actual letter that I was going to give to you at the tour, but my nonprofit-employed ass can’t afford a meet and greet, so we’re doing this instead. I promise it’s not just trauma dumping— mostly, it’s about saying thank you and trying to cultivate some hope for all of us.
I’ve been a big fan since around 2014, when I was a mentally ill neurotic deeply repressed loner egg (average phannie, let's be honest). Now I’m a whole adult who got therapy and HRT and has joined the legions of transmascs with the Dan Howell haircut! What a legacy.
I’m making jokes because the thing I actually want to talk about, and the reason I decided to make this an open letter, is kind of serious. But in light of the election, I feel like I need to share this, both with you and with all the other queers in this little corner of the internet.
Here’s the gist: I’m a paralegal at a non-profit organization that works to help queer migrants get asylum. Mostly what I do is sit them down in our nasty sterile office and try to be kind, and help them get through telling me all the most terrible things that have happened to them, and then turn around and pare it all down into legalese that is digestible to the government to make the case they should get asylum.
It’s a horrible job, really, and one that shouldn’t have to exist. Some parts are plainly wonderful, like meeting so many queer people from all walks of life. But it’s also heartrending and difficult, and burnout is always looming. My horrible banal work is often literally a matter of life and death for the client, and I’m fighting a broken system for a chance at giving them the happiness and safety is owed to them by international law and, really, by any decent human standard, should never have been in question.
The thing is—and this is reason to hope—queer people really do exist everywhere, no matter how much repression and violence we face. In a tiny village in Colombia, there's a kid who’s all spit and vinegar, dresses like a boy and plays football and fights anyone who says that they can’t, who grows up wiry and gets black eyes because men still can’t handle getting their asses handed to them on the soccer field by a dyke. This client texts me at my work number sometimes to ask if I’ve eaten that day, because they wanted to check in on me. He asked me to call him by a boy’s name, recently. I don’t know that he’s told anyone else. I open every message I send him with "Hola, James."
Then there’s the sweet, babyfaced college freshman who got death threats when he was outed to his classmates back home, and whose parents kicked him out when he refused to marry a girl to protect the family's reputation, leaving him alone in a foreign country. He was couch surfing and just trying not to miss class so he could keep his student status and he was so conscientious I wanted to cry— he’s eighteen, guys. Eighteen. I’ll get him his papers or so help me fucking God I will kill for him. You know? You know. After that meeting I had to sit at my desk with my notebook and fill an entire blank page with the phrase “he’s just a kid,” over and over again, until I felt like I could breathe.
On a Friday morning recently I get up and open my laptop to interpret on a call with a soft-spoken older trans woman who's sat in the bleak phone room of the ICE detention facility because her immigration judge didn’t believe that she was really transgender. “An odor of mendacity pervades everything the respondent says,” the judge wrote in her ruling, where she determined the client wasn't "credible." To this day I’m still floored that she straight up ripped off Tennessee Williams—new frontiers in bigotry, truly. She didn’t even cite. In our meeting now, the client quietly tells us how hard it was when she came out but how happy she was the first time she wore makeup, and she'd rather stay in detention here for indeterminate years as proceedings spiral on than go back to Guatemala, where they'll kill her—boys, if I ever get within spitting distance of this fuckass judge, it is on SIGHT. Absolutely fucking ON SIGHT. For legal purposes, that was a JOKE.
So I finish the call and get up to get a snack. It’s only ten am but feel tired already because I’m angry, which is not unusual but also not something I want to hold onto, because it doesn't help anything. So I make some toast and look at my phone— two texts, which I ignore, a spam email, and, wouldn't you know it, a YouTube notification from Dan and Phil games! Jarring! That’s just sort of how life is though, isn’t it? Deathly serious and lighthearted in the same breath.
But regardless, seeing the notification makes me feel warm, so I have my toast and watch a little video of you two playing Roblox or dress up or whatever it is you do on that channel these days. I have a good giggle and I finish my toast and go back to my desk. It’s a crucial part of my diet really— the giggles, not the toast. I’m not angry anymore. I’ll be angry again, but for now my cortisol levels are manageable and I can put my head back into emails or whatever the fuck. Do you ever think about how plants make food for free out of sunlight but we sit around writing emails all day? And that’s if we’re lucky. Capitalism is hell.
Anyway, there is a point I am trying to make, and it’s not really about the banal horrors of neoliberal nation-state or capitalism or even homophobia. It’s to say thank you for coming back to make silly videos together, because I love them, and you never fail to make me happy. And yeah, maybe something about the story of that scared eighteen-year-old kid at the front of my mind makes it particularly sweet to watch you two goofing off and being openly queer. It reminds me why I’m doing what I’m doing, and it gives me the strength to send another fucking email because sometimes doing “important work that I value and believe in deeply” means having to send another fucking email. And sometimes I’ll rewatch your older videos, and then come back to the more recent ones, and my heart bruises, because you remind me what I’m fighting for and why. It’s nothing grandiose, it’s just— for queer people to get to have the ability to grow into themselves and be outrageous and silly and make mistakes and to love and be loved for who they are. To have the safety and support and security that no one should ever go without. That’s all.
So I am being dead serious when I say thank you for making top-tier light entertainment, and for coming back to a job that wasn’t always kind to you, and that it does actually matter. All this talk about terrible influences and legacies has made me think that sometimes you doubt whether you do good in the world, so let me be clear: you really, really do. I kind of get the sense that in order to accept sincerity Dan needs to be beat over the head with it, so if that’s the case, consider yourself coerced, you dickhead. You matter to me, and especially in times like these, I think I speak for all of us when I say that the joy you share is a precious and treasured gift. So please accept my gratitude in return.
All my love,
Jules
(I removed or changed all identifying information in this letter to protect privacy, but the stories are real).
#tldr: dnps queer joy helps me stay afloat and avoid burnout while trying to help other queer people#and its essential like food and water#I would love if people would consider circulating this because it's also a sentiment I want to share with the whole community really#though it's a bit heavy so I understand if you don't feel up for that.#I genuinely get so much joy out of being a weird freak online with all you guys#and im glad these spaces have helped me accept myself#and helped me survive#and i know i'm not the only one#dan and phil#dan howell#phan#phil lester#dnp#i wonder if dan and phil know that whenever my friends are feeling down i send them the wiggly line emoji#org#open letter
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cw// implied character death, double life nonsense
because you are love itself.
#my art#trafficblr#double life#divorce quartet#<-- insane about how scott killed pearl in limlife.#this comic has been sitting unfinished in my files for a good month its def not finished to my usual quality but god it needed to be done#so uh scott... yeah. i like villain scott but not pure evil scott. i like a scott whos scared of being loved and manipulates others to spar#himself the pain. i like a scott who ditched pearl because their friendship was actually becoming real and when the server gods confirmed i#with DL he freaked out a bit and ran off.#ofc u can interpret this comic however u want but i was just thinking way too hard abt smajhor#i feel like often ppl get divided into scott did nothing wrong vs scott is pure evil alot of the time#which is understandable cus like i said with fanart/fic u only have so much space to show someones personality#but idk i like him all angsty. like i know im a bad person but to keep myself safe i need to keep being like this.#hes so blorbo *puts him in a blender*#i hate him *wraps him up in a blanket and takes him home*#cw implied death#cw implied violence#scott#pearl
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just Thinking Out Loud but im trying to prepare myself for the deltarune community to irreversibly change the same way it did when ch2 came out... its not really something i personally experienced back in 2021 because the game wasnt nearly as important to me then as it is now (understandably) (i just love chapter 2 so much)
and while i am Absolutely ready and excited for chapters 3 and 4, it will be kind of scary to see deltarune blow up again and the community grow vastly in size and Whatnot (i think about the other instances of this with other fandoms lately like gravity falls, fionna and cake, arcane, etc) (as an outsider looking into all those communities) and now im like Fuuuuck thats gonna happen to us!!!!!!
BUT ITS OK. BECAUSE EVEN IF ITS SCARY the important thing is that so many artists and musicians and fan game devs and whoever else are gonna produce amazing new stuff with the content ch3+4 gives us, and that's more exciting to me than anything... something you can honestly apply to any work of fiction getting a new part/chapter/season/whatever. I love when communities create!!!!!!
idk what this ramble was supposed to be it's just been something ive been thinking about for a while. The community ive come to recognize over the past 3 years is most likely gonna change drastically and i (the comfortable) am about to be disturbed by this But its necessary. life would be boring otherwise. i love videogames
#text#deltarune#also a bit scary now that in this community i am#(as humbly as i can possibly put this)#a “”“”“”“”“well-known”“”“”“”“”“” creator#idk apparently i will be dropping likes willy nilly on twitter and that makes people freak out sometimes#Im sorry. Its just me#but (scratches head) Fuuuuck even more eyes are gonna be on my work#i feel like now more than ever i have to Not freak out about being perceived#for a handful of reasons. some of which i cant talk about yet#anyway. Honest to god hope this doesnt seem like a whiny post or anything im really trying to be as positive as i can#MORE CONTENT ALWAYS GOOD. BUT THE FREAKS. AND THE IDIOTS#IM AFRAID!!!!!!!!!#but its ok. because awesome artwork coming ok?
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Toxic Yaoi
#its definitely one sided ON JIM'S PART.#the office us#the office#dwight schrute#jim halpert#i think Jim is like bi or something but he just doesn't see liking men as a real possiblity for him#so even though he most definitely has had feelings for men he just ignores them and chalks them up to bromance nd stuff#but then with Dwight we know that they went on sales calls all the time and used to get along just fine#and im thinking after awhile Jim started realizing the true nature of his feelings#like i dont think he fully thought “i am gay or something” i just think he started to realize the way he thought abt dwight wasn't “normal”#and he was a bit peaved like wth is Dwight's deal? nd i think thats when he started playing his pranks#and he worked up the idea that Dwight “deserved it”#and i don't think Jim's feelings for Pam are fake but i don't think its a coincidence that most of his favorite things abt her involve dwigt#like his way of impressing her and making her laugh is picking on Dwight#the moment he knew he loved her was when she introduced dwight to him (kinda??)#and when Pam starts to be buddies with dwight hes like freaked out#this guy has this weird obsessive hatred towards dwight who hasn't really done anything besides be a bit weird#and they become sorta friends after like SEVEN seasons but Dwight does NOT want his ass#but theres still moments that give a small part of jim some hope like THAT FUCKING SCENE BEFORE JIMS PERFORMANCE AT THE SABRE STORE LIKE OMG#im talking too much in tags ill probly make a follow up post#dont show this to my irls guys#jwight#jim x dwight#schrupert
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I'm gonna be shitting and screaming and starting fights if Sera becomes a villain. I can't take sibling angst, Sera loves Emily I swear guys believe meeee.
#im making a fanfic of two and a half halos and the mc is Emily and it focuses alot on her and sera's dynamic#ill probablg send it here when im done. in 100 years because i havent finished a fic in 20 centuries#hazbin hotel sera#seraphim#hazbin sera#emily hazbin hotel#hazbin emily#hazbin hotel emily#emily seraphim#hazbin hotel#PLEASE DONT MENTION HAND PLACEMENF PLEASE /S#I WAS DRAWINF THIS AT 3 AM AND I KEPT BLACKINF OUT BUT I KNEW ID LOSE MOTIVATION IF I DIDNT FINISH#I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL I WAS DONE SO PLS JST- IDK. JST LOOK AT MY BABIES#i headcanon Sera as trans. for pride month i have the idea of putting every ship and character under their pride flags#sooo sera is gonna be covered with a trans flag and emily... also trans becauze everyone is trans becauze o said so#charlie is ALSO trans because i said so#i came up wit trans sera on my own(idk if it existed be4 but i jst thot of it and got all happy cuz she is so trans idc) but#i freaking love trans emoly and trans charlie so for a bit i felt wrong for hc so many characters as trans#rhen i woke up one day and was loke. yeah idgaf they all trans cuz theres not enoigh#like im not gonna ALAAYS depict them as trans except sera(she is 100% trans to me) i like the other hcs for fun. im so srs for sera i 💜 her#sera just wants to hug her huggable sister sometimes and thats ok! 💜💜#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#*in stupid egg boy voice* i wish Sera would hold ME in her arms... 😔#gave them snouts because i cannot deal with the no noses. it genuinely disturbs me. have yall SEEN velvettes side profile omfg 😨#my babies... i just want them to be happy. why must there be sibling angst... they jst want to do whats right ☹️#im gonna fight to protect Sera from spme of yall fr fr cuz she do not deserve to be SO hated. JST. JST GET TO KNO HER I SWEAR SHE COOL#like i get it. what she doin is wrong. but if you was in her shoes you know you would do the same dont even lieeee 😨
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*writes one scene for a fic i never intend to finish in a burst of inspiration and actually likes what i've made when i'm done* damn... still got it 😤
#🐉#im the worst kind of writer i hate writing so i have to trick myself into doing it by stitching together#bits and pieces of a narrative which i produce in no logical or coherent order#so i just have this damn wip doc full of out of context vignettes of these two guys being codependent little freaks
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Lost
(minus grain)
#it's HAM don't freak out he's just cooking#let him cook#the image of Loudspeaker preparing meat of some kind in some grimy lair floats around in my mind and every so often resurfaces for air.#plays out like that montage of Hannibal Lecter cooking but without the criminal undertones#well without Those criminal undertones#think it sprouted from that one line where Mic is like 'yeah im gonna find out who did this and make their guts into soup'#and I was like 'oh he would make some nasty nasty meats huh'#bnha#mha#loudspeaker au#present mic#hizashi yamada#villain!mic#i hate all asmr apart from bugs and offal#if someone is eating a pizza into a microphone my stomach doth protest. But if theyre crunching down on a lil cricket? maybe a bit of liver#okayyy. yum yum yummy!#anyway play Psychopomp it's free on Steam#might make another games recommendation post sometime
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today I'm mourning the boy I talked to for 1 month and then ghosted 😔😔😔😔
#he was SOOOO sweet#got cheesecake delivered to my house and i ghosted him...#well he was like 1.5 yr older and it freaked me out a bit 😭😭#LIKEEE?? i feel so bad lowkey cause he was in 1st yr med school and would still text me 😭😭😭🙏🏼🙏🏼 AND THEN I JUST GHOSTED AND BLOCKED#LIKE BYEEE 😭i got freaked out okay HE ASKED ME ON A DATE BRUH like okay maybe i DID lead him on 😭 but no it was maybe too soon and the#1.5yr age gap sjsks idk idk felt not responsible of me#he really was very sweet tho i hope hes ok#idk why im remembering this now i never ranted abt this on here cause well my ex reads and i had like drafts abt this thing😭#now i dont think he reads anymore cause he likes someone else sooooo and even if he does well 😭#this was monthsssssssss ago anyway#WAITTT i made this post at like 5 30 and and then idk went away ???? AND NOW FORGOT WHAT I WAS SAYING BYEEE#anyways
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life is wasted
#psychonauts#caligosto loboto#medical abuse cw#<-yeah i think.That covers it#nightmaretheater#so sorry if you were innocently checking my blog after the crowment and were blasted with this#i was going to do a bit of artistic censoring but.Nahhh#time on canvas : 6 hours#i had to watch some videos of a transorbital lobotomy being preformed for refference 😁#god forbid i had my photos app open and someone looked over my shoulder and saw several screenshots#also Yes thats text from berenice. I cant be stopped#ohhh im so hungry.Chili for dinner……#wait. i forgot my watermark#thats okay. Theyll know its me from the berenice quote /nsrs#also yeah the orbitoclast looks a bit small. its the angle. Trust me. Okay.#I dont know how to paint flowers . I….Kind of my first time.Sooorry#Sorry guys . Had to post Horrifiying Upsetting Art again. Will continue to happen#its kind of funny this barely looks like fanart#good. Cant wait for someone to stumble upon this and freak out when they realize it is indeed fanart#surprised this was. 6 hours? Looks down at my hands… Woah…#reminder: I am drawing on my phone i did not go to art school💞#Okay time to collapse . Im really hungry#sorry . Just had to give my artists commentary
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CHAT. I GOT THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND I ALMOST CRIED. CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHOS SIGNATURE IS WHOS????
#the outsiders#im freaking the fuck out#ponyboy curtis#johnny cade#dallas winston#sodapop curtis#darry curtis#two bit mathews#steve randle#the outsiders 1983#the outsiders movie#happy bithday to me
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literally the easiest way to make someone care about a character and make them feel well-rounded beyond basic traits like personality, sexuality, ethnicity, etc, is to give them an actual character arc, and it’s shocking how many people do not seem to fully realize this
you cannot just cram a bunch of tropes. tropes are not the main event, they are tools to tell the story you wish to tell. emotional impact comes from the lead up, so you can’t just jump ahead and expect the payoff to work. “I want this character to just ___ already!” but they’re not there yet. that’s where the arc comes in - how do they get there?
and! most importantly, and this is something I really want people to think about when writing - the most important relationship your character should have, always, is with the world and society around them. defining your character purely through their interactions with other characters are, I find, how a lot of female characters end up feeling flat or not engaging with the themes as much as the male characters, and also how queer and non-white characters wind up as devices for other characters’ development instead of being more fleshed out
#storyrambles#sorry maybe this comes across a bit passive-aggressive but agh fandom drives me crazy sometimes#I’ve seen some stuff concerning dbda and it’s just#‘why didn’t Edwin just sleep with the cat king’ oh my god. did you watch the show. his repression is literally the crux of his arc#‘I’m fixing the end of the show so that they end up together!’ but they’re not there yet. there’s nothing to fix?#‘they better ___ in season 2 or im gonna be mad about it’ how about we let the story play out. how about we calm down and enjoy the story.#‘I need ___ to kiss right now!!!’ do you even enjoy the story. do you even enjoy these characters.#what is their arc. tell me right now. because I don’t think you actually know.#and I’ve seen lots of posts kind of like this but it’s wild with this show in particular because it’s canonically a queer show#so there is no fear of being led along or of no payoff. what are you freaking out about???#gah. sorry. it just frustrates me.#the most interesting character dynamic will always be - to me anyways - the way they interact with the world around them#and the way society has shaped them and they shape society in turn#and relationships with other characters are reflections of the mentality they have received and adapted from society#just like in real life lol#random thoughts
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