#but then with Dwight we know that they went on sales calls all the time and used to get along just fine

[cankersaurus]

Toxic Yaoi

[serenefreakgeekao3]

Chocolate and Pining

Jim Halpert x GN!Reader

PART ONE

[TABLE OF CONTENTS]

Check Table of Contents for entire fic summary and Key!

Summary: The cameras arrive and begin their rotation through the office. What will their shiny lens and intrusive questions uncover?

Warnings: canon-compliant cheating (if you count Pam flirting while engaged)

Author's Note: First post of the new rewrite, and Im kinda glad I only post two chapters of this previously because I went through and changed the entire thing from third person pov to first, to match along with the rest of the xReaders i’ve been writing.

[ ֎” ]

"Alright," You begin, your legs crossed while you tap one hand on your thigh. "What do I even say?" You huff a little laugh, shaking your head. You sat on an uncomfortable grey plastic chair, blinds slightly drawn behind you to block the view of the rest of the office working. You turn around and glance back, looking through the small opening available and noting three different cameras roaming the office and zooming in on people.

"What do we do here?" You repeat the question you're given, turning back toward your own interview camera. "Well, this is Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. We're a paper-pushing company." You stop for a moment before the producer behind the camera does a sort of wave as if urging you on. "Uh- well, I'm the receptionist here. I took the job almost a year ago. I transfer calls to the department they need to go to, write notes during our meetings- I'm basically Michael's secretary." You awkwardly laugh, glancing at the wall of the conference room shared with Michael's office as if he could hear through it. You wouldn’t doubt it if someone told you he stood there with his ear pressed to the wall.

"What's the most interesting thing about this job?" You furrow your brows in concern, uncrossing your legs and sitting forward. "Look, I don't know what you guys were expecting when you came here with a whole film crew, but we're a paper company. There's literally nothing interesting about working here."

[ ֎” ]

"What's interesting about working here?" Oscar asks, glancing through the blinds before leaning closer to the camera, waving his hand as he speaks quieter, "Now I'm not one to gossip, but the big thing going around is the office romance right now. And I'm not talking about Kelly and Ryan getting back together for the fifth time." He laughs shortly at his own joke before continuing. "See, Pam is engaged to Roy, he works here in the shipping warehouse downstairs. They've been together for years and they finally have a wedding date set for about a month or so from now.

"However, Jim has the biggest crush on her, everyone can tell. Before Y/N got here, Pam was the receptionist and Jim was always jumping up and going over to her to flirt constantly. Now, some believe the flirting is still going on while their desks are right next to each other, but I think it's gotten tamped down a bit since Pam scheduled a date for the wedding.

"And then there's Y/N. They started here when Pam was finally transferred to sales, and the position opened. They actually became quite close to both Pam and Jim pretty quickly, which makes some sense considering Dwight and Michael basically attacked them their first day here." —

[ ֎” ]

"Attacked Y/N? Please," Dwight scoffed, shaking his head, "I was merely preparing the new employee. If you’re not ready for a surprise stab from a ninja on your first day on the job, then I really don’t think you’re ready for work at all.” Dwight huffs out a breath, crossing his arms. “Besides, Jim made me use the dull blade.” He looks away from the camera in a strop, shrugging his shoulders. “If he hadn’t taken my sharp one I wouldn’t have had to pull out the dull one. I had to put extra force behind the attack for it to do anything, so really it’s Jim’s fault for the bruises.

“Michael? He couldn’t hurt a fly.” Dwight scoffs, then scoffs again for emphasis. “The fact that he tripped and fell that day means nothing, he was merely catching himself from falling with the closest available thing to grab. Which happened to be Y/N’s body, which he then happened to pull down with him. An honest mistake, that.”

[ ֎” ]

— "Now," Oscar continued where he left off with a smirk, "You'd think Jim flirting with Pam, and her egging it on while engaged, should be drama enough for you. But, then you have to figure into the equation that Y/N also likes Jim. I have a pretty good view of the receptionist area when Y/N sits in a certain spot, and I can hear whenever they talk to each other... Sometimes.

"Now I don't know if Jim realized he's a little flirty," Oscar wiggles his fingers with this, "But certainly not as much with them as with Pam. But- man, it's almost painful how hopeful Y/N's voice gets when they talk with Jim. Almost, but mostly just entertaining. And of course, none of the three know about this. It's basically the office soap opera at this point, and no one wants to say anything to disrupt the saga."

Oscar leans back, chuckling to himself before glancing at the camera, "Oh, almost everyone. Don't tell Dwight or Michael either, they're sure to give it away." He pats his leg for a second before smirking, "I'm team Pam. Now don’t look at me that way! I would love for Y/N and Jim to get together, but he’s just too obsessed with Pam! And that woman really needs to get herself a new man, that Roy is a real piece. of. work."

[ ֎” ]

"Team Pam or Y/N?" Phyllis asks, her smile soft as she raises a hand to cover a giggle, "Now I don't like drama, but absolutely team Y/N. Pam is engaged, it's inappropriate."

[ ֎” ]

"Team Pam, all the way." Meredith nods, smirking to the camera. "She was here first. Gotta be loyal to the branch."

[ ֎” ]

"Oh! Team Y/N!" Kelly squeals, wiggling her body in excitement.

[ ֎” ]

Jim sits in the seat, smoothing his pant legs down and sighing. "So, uh, what exactly do I say?" He places his chin in his hand, his fingers tapping restlessly against his bottom lip.

"Anything interesting?" Jim repeats, glancing out the window in the general direction of Pam and Y/N before looking back. "I mean, there's nothing really interesting about this job. Toner prices, how much each piece of paper weighs or costs-" Jim sighs, shaking his head and dropping his hand, "Honestly, the only reason I'm still here at this point is probably my friends. Pam, my desk-mate over there, we've been here for a while together. And then there's Y/N, the relatively new hire. Or, are they new?" Jim tilts his head to think about it, squinting his eyes toward the ceiling. "Has it almost been a year already?"

Jim shrugs, smirking before tapping his leg, "Oh, and also pranking Dwight. Gotta make your own fun here."

"What the- Jim!" Dwight suddenly yells, drawing half the office's attention. The other half continued blandly on with their work, used to their antics it would seem. Jim glances wearily over toward Dwight as he lugs something up from his bottom drawer, placing a plate with yellow jello and a stapler floating inside onto his desk. "What did you do?"

Jim struggles to hold back a laugh, his hand curled in front of his face and chin resting on his palm. Instead, he shrugs, leans back and crosses his arms while trying to maintain a poker face. "Nothing, Dwight. By the way, what happened to your stapler there?"

"You should know, you did it!" He sits there for a moment, glaring at Jim before bounding up, running and calling out, "Michael!"

You were half standing behind your reception desk to get a good look, sniggering to yourself about this prank- it was a good one. You look over to Jim and see him give Pam a high-five, mumbling something to each other before Jim looks in your direction and shoots you a full smile instead of the smirk he had been wearing. You smile back, sitting back down in your chair and scooting up closer to your computer.

The camera swings around closer to Jim, listening more in on their conversation. "How did you even do it?" Pam asks and snickers quietly before straightening up suddenly, grabbing her phone to press to her ear in an attempt to look as if she was doing her work as their boss exits his office.

"Let me see, let me see-" Michael finally lays eyes on the prank, laughing loudly. "Wow, just- wow!" He laughs some more, patting Jim on the back. "This is a creative one, good job Jimbo!" Dwight scoffs, moving to be in Michael's line of sight. Michael jumps slightly as if remembering he's the boss before clearing his throat and looking at Jim. "Oh, but don't do it again."

"Do what again?" Jim asks, playing dumb still and raising his eyebrows at Michael. Michael barks a laugh in return and pats his back again before wandering back into his office, mumbling about jello under his breath. Jim turns toward Dwight with a victorious grin while you stand, carrying your lunch box toward the kitchen. You tap Jim's shoulder twice in passing as if to say good job, and Jim barely has enough time to lift a hand to yours as you gently pull away to continue to your destination.

"Get it out," Dwight demands, standing near Jim and glaring at him.

"Get what out?"

"My stapler!"

"Well, it is your stapler, Dwight." Jim turns back toward his computer, chuckling under his breath.

"Oh, and how am I supposed to get it out?"

"I don't know, eat the jello?" Jim suggests, causing Dwight to scoff loudly as he plops in his chair.

"I can't just eat the jello, Jim. I wrote my name in whiteout on the stapler so everyone would know it's mine." Dwight pauses for a moment before narrowing his eyes. "Unless you knew that, and you'd assume I'd eat this. You're trying to poison me!" Jim sighs loudly, widening his eyes toward the camera before shaking his head.

"Ok, and with that, I'm going to take my lunch." He stands, turning to make his way toward the kitchen.

"If you need something to eat, I have a whole plate of jello right here for you Jim!"

Jim enters the kitchen, watching you press a few buttons on the microwave to heat your lunch. He dons a small private smile before sneaking closer behind you, reaching out and grabbing your sides while calling out a quick, "Boo!"

You jump heavily and yelp, turning around quickly with a hand pressed to your chest, panting out your breaths. "Fuckin- Halpert!" You yell out, smacking his arm before slumping against the counter behind you. Taking a few more breaths as Jim bends over laughing, you call out, "Unfair!"

"Oh? Unfair?" Jim replies, grinning toward you, "This is just payback for that email!"

"Hey, I sent that yesterday!"

"And I just opened it today." Jim grinned, not at all sorry, as you remember the jumpscare chain email you had forwarded to him, hoping to see his reaction.

"Well, that's unfortunate. I wanted to see you jump, I must've missed it." You pouted slightly and Jim's face did a small change, becoming softer and crinkling slightly at the eyes. You don’t seem to notice as you turn toward your food once the microwave beeps.

"Yeah, you were being harried by Michael, something about new shoes?" At which you groan loudly, holding up a finger with an eye roll.

"Don't even get me started on that." You thought back to that same morning when Michael came in with muddy shoes, whining about how he had just bought them even though you could’ve sworn you had seen Michael wearing them for the last half a year. How exactly did time pass in Michael's world, you wondered? And how had they gotten muddied? It wasn’t even raining outside!

"If you need to talk about it, I'm here," Jim said, sounding oddly sincere, but then continued quickly, "Although if the opposite is true I'm also very willing to go into detail about the newest book I just finished of my series."

"Oh? You mean your nerdy novels about swords and dragons?" You reply, raising your eyebrows and smirking at Jim as you stirred your lunch. “Aren’t you supposed to be a jock or something?”

"Don't pretend like you don't love the series, you listen to me ramble about it every week," Jim replied, never losing his smile and never looking away from you. His focus felt like fire on you, and there was nothing you could do to put it out. You weren’t even sure you wanted to. “And it is possible for someone to like sports and reading at the same time.”

"Hmm." You hum, pretending to think about it. It really wasn't a hard choice- while the stories sounded interesting enough by themselves, it was Jim telling them to you that made the whole week worth it. Listening to Jim become so passionate about something he found interesting was almost infectious, you practically waited for these days just to gain inspiration for your own writing. And if you happen to write fanfiction about the stories you've never actually read- well, Jim didn't need to know about that. "Alright, fine, if you insist. So what's new with Salamander and Patterson?"

"It's Sally and Parker," Jim began in disbelief, rolling his eyes fondly as you pick up your lunch, the both of you moving to the break room. You had known that, of course, but watching Jim try to explain for the seventh time why Sally is absolutely not a salamander and is, in fact, more like a snake than anything else just brings a smile to your face and a warm feeling to fill your chest.

You sat down at a chair, thankful for the empty break room as Jim wandered over to the vending machines. He put in some money and roughly pushed a few buttons, complaining all the while about his book characters. He ends up chuckling and shaking his head as he states that he needed to 'start from the beginning.'

A packet of double chocolate chip cookies lands in front of you, and you grin brightly while reaching for the gift. "My favourite, how did you know?" You look up to see Jim looking quickly away, not noticing the red starting to stain his cheeks and the tops of his ears.

"You eat it every week," Jim replies quietly as if that explains it, fetching his own lunch. "Anyway so then Parker-"

It was later in the day, and you sat bored at your desk, a word document pulled up on your computer that was half written with a personal story. Though you weren't actively typing it, instead spinning a pen in your hand as you stare in the direction of the sales associates.

"I honestly don't know what I'm looking for here," Jim speaks lowly, chuckling as he held Pam's hand in both of his, her palm facing upward. He looks up into her eyes as she giggles, shaking her head.

"No, look closer, here," Pam takes one of his hands, taking a finger and tracing a line on her palm as if this would help him read it, "This is the life line. Or- wait, maybe it's the heart line?" Pam giggles again, though misses Jim's almost yearning gaze as he holds her hand a little tighter.

"I don't know what either of those mean, Beesly," Jim replied, his voice low, and Pam finally looked up. Their eyes met and you finally had to look away, the pain in your chest becoming almost too much to bear.

And, almost as if on cue, Roy pushes in the door to the office, walking forward with his hand holding a leather jacket over his shoulder. You glance up quickly, about to start your usual introduction before realizing who it is and clearing your throat loudly, throwing a worried glance toward Jim. He glances over in time, thankfully, yanking his hands back as if burned when spotting Roy turning the corner. It seemed as though Roy hadn't noticed, smiling at his fiance as he approached before leaning down and kissing her forehead.

You watched the pained expression cross Jim's face for just a moment before he managed to school his features into a poker face. You felt for him, honestly. You knew how it felt when the person you liked, well, liked someone else. You just wanted him to be happy above all else, and you knew pining after Pam was not it. If only Pam wouldn't egg it on constantly, maybe he'd have a chance to get over her.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, let me just pack my things and print out one more file, I'll meet you down there," Pam replied to her fiance, smiling blindingly bright at him before they kiss once more. Roy turned around, passing the reception desk before grabbing a few pieces of candy that you kept out on the top of the desk. He popped one in his mouth before choking dramatically, turning around and coughing a few times before looking directly at you.

"M&Ms? Really? I liked it better when it was Skittles."

"I've never put out Skittles, I like chocolate."

"It doesn't matter what you like, it's for the guests, isn't it? Pam used to put out Skittles and no one complained." He tossed the remaining few pieces onto the floor beside him before walking out of the office. Pam ran up quickly, a worried look on her face.

"I'm so sorry, he must've had a bad day-"

"It's fine, Pam, really." You paste on a smile, annoyed not just at Roy but at Pam for earlier. Pam nodded slowly, her smile regretful as if knowing how you felt before turning around and pressing the last few clicks on her computer to shut it down. She gathered her things in silence, sliding her newly printed paper into a file on her desk. Meanwhile, you stared at your computer screen, not really reading what was there.

"Bye Jim. Bye Y/N, see you tomorrow!" Pam called out, and you replied with a little wave before pressing save on your word document, downloading it to your flash drive. The door to the office hadn't even closed before a new presence was at your desk, leaning over to try and spy on their computer. You looked up to see Jim smirking, looking directly into your eyes.

"Did you close that document just 'cause I came over? Hiding something from me, Y/L/N?" His teasing tone had you smiling against your better judgement, leaning back and crossing your arms.

"Well, I wouldn't want you discovering my master plan. It's a secret for a reason, you know." Jim laughed at your joke, leaning back and taking a handful of M&Ms to pop into his mouth. Watching this, you felt their face deflate just slightly before you hear Jim’s whispers.

"You know, I think I prefer the M&Ms over Skittles any day." He winks, then dumps more from his handful into his mouth, walking back to his desk to finish up his day. You once again couldn't help the small smile that adorned your face in response.

[ ֎” ]

"I've always had a thing for chocolate," You said, shrugging, "I'm the one who sits there all day anyway." You bite your lip for a moment, trying to suppress a smile. "Besides, who cares what Roy thinks? Other people in the office like them, that's all that matters."

[ ֎” ]

"What kind of person do I like?" Jim makes a baffled face, blinking a few times before resituating in his seat. "I don't know why that's relevant, but if I had to choose..." He trails off, his eyes taking on a far-off look, "Someone sweet, smart- someone who laughs at my jokes while also making me laugh. Someone who will help me with my pranks and listen to my ramblings." He looks back up to the camera with a small smile, "Someone with a sweet tooth that I could spoil."

"You coming, Y/L/N?" Jim calls out, the office dark. You're the last two in the building now, it seems, and you glance up from your desk where you're standing to smile at him.

"Oh, I just have a few more papers to print, you go on ahead."

"Don't work too hard, Y/L/N. The effort isn't worth it." You laugh in response, waving him off. You both exchange a quiet goodbye before you wander over to the copier, which was printing multiple copies of what looked like Dwight's face on the 'Scranton Strangler' wanted poster. The camera swings between the pages and back to you, where you only shrug and smirk.

"It'll be funny," Is your only excuse as you take the pages and start hanging them on the pillars of the building around the office, sliding an extra copy into Jim's desk as a memento.

[myveryownfanfiction]

Chapter 1

I walked into the office the next day and settled into my seat at the desk. Robert walked in and smiled at me as he passed me. Smiling back, I started to get to work. Before I could get started, the camera crew grabbed me for a one on one interview in the annex.

“What do I think of Robert California?” I repeated the producer's question for the video. I thought for a second before smiling. “I think it takes a little while to get used to him. I think that he’s actually really nice and even though he could be a little crass, once you get past it he’s a really nice person who knows a lot about sales and managing.” 

“So you got to know him last night?” The producer asked, smiling since they knew they had footage of us leaving the building late. 

“Yeah. I got to know him a bit last night.” I laughed. A commotion in the office made me get up and head back out. Kevin was planking on Dwight’s desk and Dwight had enlisted Darryl and Jim in trying to move him. “Guys! Guys! Guys!” I called as I ran out. “You’re gonna hurt yourselves. Chill. Let me handle this.” I walked over to my side of the desk and crawled under. I popped up in the middle and leaned down. “Hey Kev? If you stop planking and get off Dwight’s desk I’ll bring in that chocolate cake you love tomorrow.” Kevin didn’t move and I stood back up. “Ok Kev. No cake for you tomorrow.” I squared my stance and braced my back leg against my desk. “Last chance Kev.” I put one hand on Kevin’s shoulder and one on his hip. I smiled up at the guys that had been trying to lift him as I gave one big shove and Kevin rolled off of the desk. The guys jumped back as Kevin landed with a thud on the floor. Everyone looked up and Robert came out of the conference room to see what had happened. Andy entered the office at that moment. 

“What’s going on?” He asked as he took in the scene that was playing out. 

“Kevin was planking on my desk.” Dwight said. “(Y/N) solved the problem.” I mock bowed before going back under my desk and popping back up on the other side. Robert was laughing as he went back into the conference room and Andy waved Dwight into his office. I went back to the annex to finish up my interview. 

“So yeah. He’s not that bad a guy. He works out of the conference room about half the time. When he takes a break, he does these walks around the office. But you never know who he’s gonna zero in on for these small-talks. Some people just hope it isn’t you. And yet, you hope it is you. Everyone thinks it’s strange.” The producer nodded to let me know my interview was over and I went back out to my desk. I saw Robert was already starting his walk around the office. Today he seemed to have settled on Erin, even though I knew she had only caught his attention because she was waiting for him. 

“That’s how every day’s begun, for everyone, since the dawn of man.” I caught the tail end of their conversation and snickered quietly to myself. I watched as Andy came out of his office to save Erin. They were dating, as far as anyone knew, so it was kind of sweet that he was trying to save her. Andy succeeded and the two of them went back into Andy’s office. I started working on my client list for the day when Erin tried to get my attention. 

“(Y/N). (Y/N). Psst. (Y/N).” I turned around to see her frantically waving me over. I got up and walked over. 

“What’s….” I paused as I looked at the notebook in her hands, recognizing Robert’s handwriting on the page. “Jim. Pam.” I waved them over. 

“What is this?” Jim asked as he motioned to the list. 

“I don’t know. But I know that if Robert caught us with this, he’d be pissed.” I whispered. I kept looking at the door to Andy’s office, hoping that he could distract Robert long enough so we could figure this out. 

“(Y/N).” Jim whispered back as he turned the journal towards me. I cocked my head and gazed at the list of names that was written down both sides of the paper. 

“I don’t…” I glanced up at the office door again. “I don’t understand.” I looked up at Jim who just shook his head. 

“What are you looking at?” Dwight butt in. I quickly tried to quiet him down so we wouldn’t be caught. 

“It’s nothing.” Jim said equally as loud. 

“It can’t be nothing.” I shot a glare at Dwight. 

“Yeah, it can’t be nothing.” Phyllis backed him up. I sighed and gave in.

“It’s a list of our names, split into two columns.” The office broke into a commotion which I was able to quiet fairly easily. “Okay, just wait one second. I’ll copy it. Do you have a pen?” I turned to Erin who shook her head. 

“No. I’ll take a photo of it.” Jim started to pat down his pockets. “Dwight, can you throw me my phone?” Dwight chucked the phone at the wall. 

“Nice catch.” Dwight rolled his eyes. I panicked for a second while my eyes snapped back to the office door. 

“If he comes out, distract him.” Pam said. Chaos ensued as Robert came out of the office. I walked around the reception desk, desperately trying to think of something to distract him with. I was partly saved by Phyllis falling out of her chair. As Dwight and Robert went to help her up, Pam snuck behind me and put the notebook back where we had found it. Robert smiled at me as he passed. 

“(Y/N), I’d like to talk to you after lunch today.” Robert informed. I smiled at him and nodded. 

“Whatever you say boss.” I joked as he walked into the conference room. I visibly sagged as the door closed. 

“Okay, which side of the list am I on?” Dwight broke the tense silence. I shook my head and sat back my desk. 

“Left.” Jim read out. 

“Yes!” 

“Why are you….” I started to question. “How do you know?” I sat staring at Dwight for a second before we were interrupted by Andy asking what we were doing. Once we explained, he looked over at me with a worried expression. 

“Really great list of names guys. Thank you so much. Good work.” He said sarcastically. 

“That was in Robert’s notebook.” I informed him as I stood up. I took my place next to Andy before starting to nervously crack my knuckles. 

“He left it at reception and we photocopied it.” Pam finished. Andy gave me a look. I just shrugged at him.

“I don’t want any part of this.” Andy shook his head and started to head back into his office. I went to follow him, quietly debating on asking about how his meeting went. I sighed when I heard the rest of the office talking about how it might be a list of people Robert was going to fire. “How could you let them just do that?” I closed the door behind me and turned towards Andy with a frantic look on my face. 

“You think if I knew what was going on I would have let them continue?” I whisper yelled at him. “Andy, if I had any idea that was what they were going to do, I would have stopped them. I would have taken the notebook myself and given it right back to him!” Andy sat down in his chair heavily.

“You know him better than I do. What do you think it is about?” I sat across from him and shook my head. 

“I don’t know him all that well.” I grumbled. “If I had to guess, it’s a list of high performers and low performers. Jan had one. David Wallace had one. Jo had one. Hell Ryan had one. It would make sense for Robert to have one.” Andy nodded and we sat in silence for a little while. Another commotion in the office caused us to emerge from our little sanctuary. 

“This is if we were all on a cruise ship and had to divide into lifeboats. Here’s something. Who would eat who in an ‘Alive’ situation. No that can’t be it.” Dwight was rambling on and judging by Pam and Erin’s faces, he had been going on for a while. 

“I gotta say. Kinda seems like the left side’s the side to be on. Me, Jim, (Y/N), Dwight, Darryl.” Andy read off of the noteboard that Jim had set up. “No offense Pam.” If looks could kill, Pam would have killed Andy. I went back to my desk and tried to get some work done while everyone else continued to work on the list. An hour later, they were still at it. Just a little more quietly. 

“Did you guys figure it out?” Angela asked as she walked up to my desk. 

“We couldn’t crack it.” Andy said, defeated. I rolled my eyes. 

“Go in there and just ask the man.” Stanley finally spoke up. I looked up at him to see him nod at me. “Better yet send (Y/N). He likes her already. That makes her more likely to get an answer than any of us.” I shook my head. 

“No thanks.” 

“Why not (Y/N)?” The chorus took up fairly quickly.

“For that reason.” I shot back. “He likes me. I’m in his good graces. I’m not screwing with that.” I hissed and quickly went back to work. 

“Then you do it Andy.” Phyllis suggested. 

“He’ll know we looked at his private notebook.” Andy whined. I rolled my eyes. 

“Then say you saw the list by accident.” I retorted. Andy glared at the back of my head. 

“I’m already working on this Columbus Day thing for you guys and it’s starting to stack up. Feels like al ot. One thing at time.” Andy looked around the room desperately. “Come on, (Y/N). You really won’t talk to him?” I shook my head and mimed zipping my lips. Andy sighed in defeat before going to the conference door and knocking. When Andy came back out, he was upset and switched his name from one side of the list to the other. I raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything about it.

“Looks like I made the right choice.” I muttered. Dwight nodded in agreement. Ten minutes before lunch, Andy tried one last time to rally us around finding out about the list. 

“Okay. Robert’s in the annex. Everybody think quick. What do these groups have in common?” I saved my work and started the walk to the annex. 

“Maybe we’re supposed to do it with people in our group.” Meredith spoke up. Jim shook his head. “People in the other group.” I rolled my eyes and hung back to listen to the bickering. 

“Stanley, you do puzzles all day. What do we got?” Andy tried. I looked at Stanley and waited for his inevitable joke. 

“Well, you take the first letter from each name, assign it a number, add them all up and shove it up your butt!” I started to laugh and Stanley turned in his chair to give me a high five. 

“Thank you. A little much needed comic relief. But we really need to figure this out guys.” I briefly thought about taking pity on Andy but then decided against it. 

“Here’s how we find out.” Dwight stood up and I shook my head as I leaned against the door. “Let’s line up and compare the lines, see if we learn anything. Left-siders over here. Right-siders, line up over here. Face each other. Match it by height and relative weight. Let’s just size each other up here and left side of the list ....” There was a pause. Dwight was waving me over to stand between him and Jim so I just shook my head. Dwight shrugged before turning his attention back to the two lines. “ATTACK!” A couple of the people in line ran at each other. 

“Wait, wait, wait! Stop! Stop! Stop!” Jim tried to break up the fight before it started. “Will you stop?”

“Dwight!” Andy tried to reprimand. I pushed off the wall as the door to the annex opened and Robert walked in. He stood next to me and pointed at the chaos. I shook my head as the others started to realize that Robert was in the room. 

“I’d like to invite the following people to join me for lunch.” Robert took out his notebook and read from the list. “(Y/N), Jim, Dwight, Angela, Darryl, Kevin, Toby, Phyllis, and Oscar.” I nodded as I started towards my desk and grabbed my keys. “(Y/N), you’ll be riding with me.” I nodded once as I put my keys back on my desk and waited for Robert to grab his stuff from the conference room. It was a quiet journey to the parking lot and Robert waited until everyone else was in their cars. He opened the passenger door for me and waited until I had gotten in before closing it. “I believe I promised you a ride.” Robert slid into the driver’s seat and started the car. He looked at me with a smile as I grinned at the roar of the engine. 

“I believe you did.” I responded, showing him my own mile wide grin. Robert smirked at me before reversing the car and tearing out of the parking lot. I let out a small yell of excitement, my hand hanging off the side of the car and my hair being whipped around by the wind. Robert laughed as he watched my excitement of being in a beautiful, fast car. We pulled up to the restaurant and saw the others waiting for us in a small group. Robert slowed down as he pulled into the lot and found a spot. Taking a second, I fixed my hair and got out of the car. 

“I take it you enjoyed the ride.” Robert teased as he put his hand on the small of my back and led me to the others. I nodded and put my hand on his shoulder. 

“That was amazing! Thank you so much.” I gushed. Robert chuckled as we reached the group and led us to our table. We all took our seats and Robert held out the chair next to him for me. I sat down and thanked him before looking at the menu. I caught Jim’s eye and couldn’t help the blush that formed on my cheeks as he looked at me like he knew something was up. Lunch was full of conversation about the typical life of the office and moved towards the personal lives of the people at the table. By the time we had finished and were finishing our drinks, we were fully immersed in our personal lives. 

“Jim, your daughter, Cecilia. What does she think of the street?” Robert asked as he leaned back in his chair and put his arm on the back of mine. Jim’s eyes flitted to me before settling back on Robert. 

“Uh, the street?” He asked, clearly confused by the question. 

“Sesame street.” I bit my lip to keep from laughing. This man was full of surprises apparently. Robert looked at me briefly before looking around the table, slightly confused by the confused looks he was getting. 

“Oh. I didn’t know anybody called it…. She likes it a lot. She loves Elmo.” Jim finally answered. Robert chuckled as he took a drink of his beer. 

“Elmo. God’s sake. It’s the Elmo era.” I sent a confused look across the table at Jim.

“Right.” Jim looked back at me with an equally confused look. 

“Sesame Street was created to reflect the environment of the children watching it. Complete self-absorption of Elmo is brilliantly reflective of our time. Ours is a cultural ghetto.” He put his glass back on the table and shifted in his seat. 

“Yeah, she does like Elmo.” Jim muttered as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Everyone agreed around the table before Toby got up.

“I should not be here. I’m in the. I was in the wrong. I’m sorry.” He apologized as he left. “Just picture me back there. I was never here.” I covered my mouth with my hand as I held back a laugh. Robert caught the action and smiled as he picked up his glass to cover his own laugh. I caught Jim texting under the table and caught his look of panic at being caught. 

“Pam?” I mouthed and Jim nodded subtly. I nodded and turned my attention back to the rest of the group. 

“You know, I feel comfortable enough now to ask you this question.” Dwight turned towards Robert. “What made you pick this group?” Robert shrugged. 

“I just think you guys are winners and I wanted to have lunch with you.” Robert shrugged, which caused his hand at the back of my chair to brush against my back. There was a collective understanding from the table. 

“Well, what about the other guys?” Phyllis asked. I nodded as I shifted in my chair. 

“Losers.” Dwight cut off Robert. I watched the panicked expression fly across Robert’s face before he tried to compose himself. 

“No.” He said, trying to cut off the inherent new class system that Dwight seemed hellbent on imposing once we returned to the office. 

“Come on.” Dwight pushed. 

“Dwight.” I warned. Robert looked at me before turning back to Dwight.

“I don’t.” He was pulling at straws now, trying to find the control he had at the beginning of the conversation. “I don’t wanna say.” Dwight kept pushing him even though Robert was shaking his head, making me lean on the table to look Dwight in the eye. 

“Drop it Dwight. That’s enough.” I ground out. Robert’s hand subtly fell onto my upper back and I straightened up. 

“Come on (Y/N).” Dwight teased, sensing the power dynamic between Robert and I. “Let the man answer.” I sighed and squeezed my hands into fists as Dwight won. Robert started to play with the collar of my shirt as he grew nervous about his answer. 

“Ha.” He let out a brief laugh. “I guess I think they’re losers.” Catching my eye, Robert bit his bottom lip. 

“I knew it!” Dwight exclaimed, gaining a little attention from the rest of the restaurant. “Yes! Woo!” 

“Probably shouldn’t have said that.” Robert added, seeing the look on my face. Jim’s jaw dropped and he rapidly texted Pam again. Everyone started to filter out, soon just leaving Robert, Jim, and me at the table. “I really shouldn’t have said that.” Robert told us as he ran his hand down his face. Putting my hand on Robert’s shoulder, I looked at Jim and bit my lip. 

“I just want to let you know that when we get back, it’s going to be a mess. Anyone that was at this lunch, aside from the two of us, is going to go completely nuts and run with being in the ‘winners’ group.” Jim said as he stood up. Robert looked up at him. “You will probably have to fix whatever it is that you just created.” I squeezed Robert’s shoulder and raised my hand to say goodbye to Jim as he left. 

“Did I just create a massive problem?” Robert asked me. I thought about my answer carefully.

“You did.” I responded. Robert groaned before letting his head fall back. “But,” I squeezed his shoulder again to get his attention. His head lolled towards me. I made sure that he was focused on me. “But it also created an opportunity for you to show Dunder Mifflin just how well you can run it. It’s an opportunity for you to prove that you are right for CEO and that you know how to get people to work harder and better.” Robert lifted his head back up and nodded slowly. 

“So you are saying let this play out. Let them fight amongst themselves and step in before it goes too far.” Robert said as it finally clicked. “Then everyone will at least accept me as CEO.” I nodded as Robert took in this information. “Why didn’t I pick you to be manager?” He joked as he pulled out his wallet to pay the bill. I laughed and did the same. 

“Because I didn’t want to be a manager.” I said, putting down a $20 bill. I held up my hand when Robert started to protest. “It covers my food and Jim’s. It’s the least I can do.” Robert nodded as he stood up. 

“Why pay for Jim?” he asked as he helped me out of my seat and led me back out to his car. 

“Because we gave you the least amount of trouble and I know that when we get back he’s going to give you the least amount of trouble.” I shrugged as we neared the car. “Besides, it means he owes me and that might come in handy when there is an issue that Andy, you, or me can’t handle in the office.” Robert laughed as he dug his keys out of his pocket. 

“Well put.” His smile grew as he finally got them out. Turning towards me, he held out the keys. “Wanna drive?” I gasped as Robert let the key dangle in front of my face. 

“Are you serious?” I asked as I took them. Robert nodded and made his way over to the passenger’s seat. I took my place in the driver’s seat and put the key in ignition. “Are you serious about this?” Robert nodded again with a smile growing on his face. “Absolutely sure?” I asked again. Robert started to laugh. “I’m just making sure because once I drive this car I might always ask to drive it.” Robert put his hand on top of mine. 

“(Y/N), I wouldn’t have given you the keys if I wasn’t serious.” I smiled at him. “I especially wouldn’t have let you get in the driver’s seat.” Grinning like an idiot, I reversed out of the spot and took off down the road back to the office. We were still laughing and enjoying ourselves when we walked into the office. Robert automatically went to the conference room while I took my spot at my desk. 

“Well, that was certainly an odd lunch.” Jim said. I nodded and tried to keep my smile down. “Is everything alright?” I looked over at Pam, whose eyes were red. I mean she had been crying all day from hormones but it seemed like she had been crying pretty recently. The three of us tried to ignore the other members of the office who were already getting into a fight over the losers comment that Dwight no doubt had already been spreading around the office. I had finally had enough and got up to go into Andy’s office. I caught the tail end of his talking head. 

“Metaphorically, of course. But now, it is my job and my prob.” I raised my hand to knock on the door when it opened. “(Y/N)?” Andy took one look around the room and sighed before turning back to me. “Did you need something?” I gestured around the room. 

“I was just going to ask you to something about this.” Andy nodded and went to the conference room. He knocked on the door. Robert opened the door and looked between me and Andy. 

“Hi, Robert? Can you come out here please? It’s really important.” Andy asked as he stepped to the side so Robert could take his spot next to me. “Just wanted to clarify something. Some people here are under the misconception that some people may be considered, uh, let’s say top-tier and others would be second-tier.” Robert sent a look at me before shaking his head slowly. 

“I never said that.” He seemed to be debating his options while Andy took it the wrong way.

“Thank you. Great.” Robert held up a hand and Andy stopped. I bit my lip as I waited for Robert to prove me right. 

“I said winners and losers.” Robert’s eyes drifted over me and landed on Andy. “Is that what you’re talking about?” 

“Oh, that, it might…” Andy stammered. “That might actually be what I’m thinking of. Can you clarify that?”  Robert’s eyes landed on me again and I nodded to tell him to go ahead with what we had talked about at the restaurant. 

“Let me tell you some things I find productive.” Robert turned to face the office, confidence easing into his voice. “Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Honesty.” His eyes met mine again and I couldn’t keep the pride off my face as I watched him take control. “I’ll tell you some things I find unproductive. Constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutable social cues. And then, inevitably reframing it all in a reassuring way so that you can get to sleep at night. No, I do not believe that at all. If I invited you to lunch, I think you’re a winner. If I didn’t, I don’t. But I just met you all. Life is long, opinions change. Winners prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong.” He nodded and winked at me. I smirked at him as he went back into the conference room. 

“I guess that’s that.” Phyllis said as she went back to work. I nodded and went to sit back at desk. 

“No. No. No.” Andy gained my attention again. “(Y/N), the two of us are finally going clear this up.” 

“Andy. No.” I said. Andy took my arm and pulled towards the conference room. 

“We’re going in there.” He opened the door as I tugged my arm out of his grasp. 

“Fine. But I won’t like it.” I grumbled. We walked in and Robert looked up at us as if nothing was wrong. 

“I know that every time I talk to you things just seem to get worse. But, you don’t know these people and we do. And if we let you work with faulty information, well, then we’re not doing our jobs as managers. So, please take this pen and change your list.” Andy said. I backed up a couple steps and held up my hands. 

“I just want it on the record this is all Andy’s idea.” I said before miming zipping my lips. 

“I’m not going to change my list Andy.” Robert smirked at me. “And I don’t use ballpoint pens.” Andy sat down at the conference table while I took a seat behind him. 

“Well, then I will make a new list for you.” Andy grabbed a piece of paper and started a new list. “Stanley. You may think he’s a lazy grump, but did you know he has the most consistently high sales numbers of anyone in this office? And you may think he’s hard to love, but did you know that he’s in, not one, but two long-term relationships?” Robert looked over at me and I nodded. 

“I did not know about the sales figures.” He admitted. 

“Meredith Palmer. Supplier relations. The word no, not even in her vocabulary.” I bit back the smile that was threatening to spread across my face. Andy was finally coming into his own as manager and it was happening before my eyes. “And just to show you that I’m being fair. You had Gabe in the loser column. I think that is astute. Good call.” I chuckled as I nodded. “Pam, easily the most creative and kind person I have ever worked with.” I smiled and looked down at my lap. I could hear Jim and Dwight arguing in the office but I ignored them. “Erin Hannon, the receptionist and my closest confidant. A winner if there ever was one.” Looking back up at Robert, I noticed that he was also trying to keep the smile off of his face. 

“Are we done?” He asked when Andy had finally put down his pen. 

“Yes.” Andy got up to leave. “No! The Friday before Columbus Day, we’re gonna take a half-day, so that everyone can get a jump on the long weekend.” I watched Robert, waiting to see what he would say. 

“You want a three and a half-day weekend for Columbus Day?” Robert looked over at me. 

“We’ve always had them.” I stood up. “It just seemed like it would be good business to ask our new CEO before we just up and did it.” Andy nodded beside me. 

“And you two are aware that Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans.” Robert continued. I nodded while Andy started to walk to the door. 

“Don’t care.” Andy left the room and Robert smiled at him as he left. I stood there trying not to laugh. 

“I knew that.” I offered as I stood in the doorway. Robert looked up at me. 

“Did you?” He smiled. “Did you really?”

“I was a history major.” I winked at him as I left the office. Everyone was packing up already and some people were already walking out. I smiled at Andy as I gathered up my belongings. “Nice work Andy. You’re going to be pretty good at this manager thing.” Andy smiled at me as he locked up his office. 

“Thanks (Y/N).” He patted my shoulder. “You’re going to be pretty good at this assistant manager thing.” I smiled as I turned off my computer. “By the way, he likes you too.” Andy winked at me as he left the office. I stood by my desk, mouth agape at Andy’s comment. 

“Everything alright (Y/N)?” I jumped when I heard Robert’s voice. I shook my head to clear it and finished up packing. 

“Yeah. Sorry. Andy just said something that threw me off.” I chuckled as I put my bag over my shoulder. “You did really well with that little speech.” I bumped his shoulder as we entered the elevator and started our descent. 

“I thought I might have messed it up when Andy walked into the conference room.” Robert admitted. I shook my head. 

“You did great. Everyone was pretty impressed even if they didn’t want to admit it.” I reassured him. Robert smiled and squeezed my hand. 

“Thank you (Y/N).” Robert said as we exited the elevator. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed the back of my hand before heading to his car and taking off out of the parking lot. I got into my car and exited the parking lot myself. Getting home, I went through my normal evening routine. As I lay in bed that night, I couldn’t stop my mind from thinking about what Andy had said and what it could possibly mean. I fell asleep daydreaming about what I wished it would mean.

[kabootarandishaan]

Stuck in the Middle

Summary: Pam Beasley had been Y/N’s best friend since forever. They had gone through ups and downs and practically considered each other family. Pam had even helped Y/N get a job at Dunder Mifflin so they could work together. It was also Pam who befriended Jim initially and then with Y/N they became the three musketeers. But what happens when Y/N starts falling for Jim who actually likes Pam. Will she pursue her own path or give it up for friendship?

One-shot/Series: Part 1

Pairing: Jim Halpert/We'll figure it out as we go

A/N: Just a little something fun. This beginning is just gonna be a lot of exposition so maybe not too much Jim.

Warnings: Swearing

You and Pam had known each other since highschool and it seemed as though nothing changed. You were still as close as you were then. You were the one who spoke to her first and you were glad you did. You were what you called an introverted-extrovert. A person who enjoyed social situations but wouldn't mind having some alone time at the end of the day. You played soccer and were part of a bunch of clubs but academics was where you felt most comfortable. All that still didn't save you from having to take an art class your senior year. All you needed was one last elective credit and considering you didn't have a single musical bone in your body you went with art. 

That's where you met Pam. She would often be sketching away even as the teacher gave instructions. You were her desk partner and that's how you got talking initially. "Wow. You're so fucking talented! Have you always been able to draw like that?" She was taken aback at your sudden compliment but quickly gave you a shy smile before answering back. "Thanks. I um just like to draw so I do it a lot." She gave you a shrug and laughed. "Well you're really good. Do you wanna be an artist or something eventually?" You wanted to get to know her, you were gonna be sitting next to her for the rest of the year, she seemed nice. "Maybe, I was thinking something along the lines of graphic design but I don't really know." She looked away and shrugged once again before continuing, "Oh, I'm Pam Beasley by the way." She put out her hand for you to shake.

"Y/N L/N. Nice to meet you Pam." You laughed before meeting her hand. Just like that you and Pam began your friendship. You quickly found out that you both shared your last three periods and would always walk into class with each other. Pam would always be your partner in projects and assignments and would help you with artsy things like cover pages or posters. You would always have her back with math notes or biology flashcards. You both got pretty close pretty fast and would spend time with each other outside of school too. You went to the mall or just hung out. Pam had become a close confidant to you almost like a sister. You shared everything with her and vice-versa. 

Pam knew about your troubled homelife and of how you had a lot of responsibilities on your head. She would never judge but would listen and try her best to console. She was at your house everyday after school when you got a concussion helping you go over material. She was there when you panicked over failing your finals. She was there helping you fill scholarships and looking for jobs when you needed money for college. Pam was the one constant in your life and you were grateful for that. That's how you both ended up at Dunder Mifflin.

Pam had seen the ad for a receptionist and part time sales representative. You both went for each position trying to increase your chances of getting hired. It did work, Pam got the receptionist gig and you were happily a sales rep. You were both extremely relieved at getting the job this meant you could both still see each other. You didn't realize it but Pam also was incredibly grateful for you. She wasn't the most social butterfly but you made her feel comfortable with herself. You were the one to believe in her even if she didn't always believe in herself.

Pam felt indebted to you in a small way. You helped her gain confidence, helped her through school, and helped her through the rough patches in her own life. She even got a boyfriend, even if you didn't really like Roy, and you were indirectly the cause of it. You decided to rent an apartment together since it would be easier for the two of you as you both worked together. It would also help cut some costs with gas and other utilities. Luckily, your brother was looking to move out of his old place. He was one of the only other people you were really close to in your immediate family and always tried to help you out when he could.

He was moving up to New York for school and although you didn't like the circumstances, you were thankful for him. He helped you shift the last of your things in and sat down with you. You tried to avoid talking to him because he was going to leave after helping you unpack. You were dreading saying goodbye, him and Pam were the only two people you were really close to. You looked down at your feet and you could tell he caught on because he grabbed your shoulders forcing you to turn to him. "Y/NN, don't tell me you won't say goodbye to your only brother." He tried to lighten the mood but you could hear the slight downcast in his voice. You couldn't say anything immediately so instead you engulfed him in a tight hug.

 "Don't forget me in the big city! Call me! I bought this stupid cellphone because of you so you better make it worth it. Your voice cracked as you tried to hold back your tears. He only laughed and gave your head a little rub before pulling back. "I'll call you every weekend okay." He reassured and all you gave was a vigorous nod in response. Pam was by your side as you saw him off. She held your shoulders as he left and consoled you as you cried. You quickly realized you were still lucky to have her and now she was your roommate. You thought of it like extended sleepovers.

Only this time, you and Pam could stay with each other for as long as you wanted and do whatever you wanted. You both seemed to settle into the Dunder Mifflin team. After university you both took up full time positions. You were promoted to an actual salesperson and you were pretty satisfied with the pay increase. Although you weren't so happy sitting across from the obnoxious Dwight Schrute, you were able to see more of Michael's antics. It kept you amused.

Then one day you see him, a tall funny looking guy. You never thought Jim Halpert would become a significant factor in your life. Hell, you never thought Dunder Mifflin would take up a good chunk of your life. But, you learned pretty early on that life was a ride and you were just the passenger. The company was still fresh and needed more people as it expanded. Jim bagged the salesman gig and took a seat right by you, in between you and Dwight. You saw him settle in as you stood by Pam at the reception desk. You looked at each other and giggled, he had no idea what he was getting into.

He looked up at you two with a raised eyebrow and walked over. "What's up?" He asked while staring both of you down. Pam looked up at him and smiled "Enjoy this moment," He looked at her slightly confused as you finished her sentence. "...because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your desk mate, Dwight." You let out a laugh as you looked over to the man in question pushing Jim's things away from his desk with a ruler.

[plush-anon]

Happy Halloween Scooby Doo! Review

Muahahhhahahhahahaha! Thanks to the Walmart tradition of stocking movies for sale weeks before the intended release date, I have myself a copy of what claims to be Scooby Doo’s FIRST Halloween adventure!

…in spite of movies like Witch’s Ghost and Goblin King, holiday specials like WNSD’s A Scooby Doo Halloween (which had a haunted Scarecrow too…), BCSD’s EL Bandito (for Dia de los Muertos - obvs not the same, but most companies act like it) and Halloween, The NSDM’s Halloween Hassle at Dracula’s Castle, and the DTV short film Scooby Doo and the Spooky Scarecrow (which, ironically enough, did NOT take the opportunity to feature Dr. Jonathan Crane). 

So let us take a look now at Happy Halloween Scooby Doo! and see whether this film will be a graveyard smash of a treat, or a black licorice bomb of disappointment.

Full review (and SPOILERS TO GO WITH IT) are below the cut in my new review format; if all goes smoothly, I’ll go with this for future Scooby films.

WARNING: This review is very long.

One minor note before we begin: the Special Features actually include BCSD’s Halloween, WNSD’s A Scooby Doo Halloween, and PNSD’s Ghost Who’s Coming to Dinner

...so they were AWARE this was not the first Halloween adventure of the Scooby gang, and yet still use that tag line. Hm. 

Still, kudos for including them - this’ll help boost the reasons to keep this movie, if it turns out to be a real Milk Dud of a movie *ba-dum tish* :D

-----------

The movie starts off rather abruptly, actually - no slow pan over the setting, just WB Animation credit and BOOM, we’ve cut to a Halloween parade and Elvira is talking. 

I’m of a mixed opinion including Elvira on top of having Bill Nye and a Batman Rogue - while she most certainly fits the Scooby aesthetic, it doesn’t feel as grand an impact after her weird little cameo in Return to Zombie Island (ugh) and I’m not sure how well the movie will balance her in wait a minute

wait just a

WAIT A MINUTE

Did - did that parade float skeleton just sing Crystal Cove as the town’s name?

oh no. 

Oh No.

....also their song is terrible and they should feel terrible.

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Fred: We got him! Banh Mi Shop, second floor!

me: the heck is a Banh Mi Shop? *mild googling noises*

So I guess Jonathan Crane really had a craving for a Vietnamese sandwich before he enacted his Halloween scheme.

...you think he’s a lemongrass chicken type of guy or a BBQ pork guy? It’s always hard to guess at these things, esp when coffee and pumpkin spice aren’t on the table (as per fanon, of course)

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Velma: We have a flawless track record!

So I guess WB is just gonna ignore the past few DTV retcons established in 13 Ghosts and Return to Zombie Island?

I mean that rather defeats the purpose of them existing at all, but fcuk YEAH I can get behind throwing that retcon garbage out of canon!

And STAY OUT!!

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Shaggy, talking about ghosts being real: I’m like the boy who cried wolf - I keep warning you but like, you won’t believe me until I finally get eaten!

Yet again, Warner Bros makes a wolf reference to Shaggy. Yet again, I am torn asunder between wanting werewolf!Shaggy in a new Scooby property, and fearing for the appearance of werewolf!Shaggy in a new Scooby property. 

-------

Velma: Point is, being afraid is a waste of time!

Scarecrow, LITERALLY EXPLODING THROUGH A BRICK WALL three buildings away:

------

He’s floating through the air and t-posing to assert his dominance 🤣🤣🤣

Gods bless animation 😁

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Daphne @ Shag and Scoob locking themselves in the van: Are you serial?

Me: wait, SERIAL? *re-reads captions* yup, that says “serial”.  

Is this an editing mistake? I don’t think that works here…unless that’s supposed to be a joke on how they always do this. But then why would that be an irritating surprise, they literally do this EVERY episode 🙄

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Oh hey, Red Herring’s Party Screams truck has Red Herring running out of it

Could this be a hint to how the story goes? The villain appearing on a literal Red Herring?

Naaaaaah, WB’s not THAT smart

-------

So if we take @captainbaddecisions​​ crack theory on Jonathan Crane being Shaggy’s uncle seriously, does this mean that Jonathan is using magic to fly, float fear toxin orbs around himself, and making things explode, a la the family trait of Crack Theory A? 

Logically he’s probs using wires or magnets or some shit, but it’s a fun thought to entertain 😁

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Welp, we finally get the opening credits! … with Jonathan Crane smashing through the Mystery Machine’s windshield, set to a slow poppy song straight from the 60s, and spewing the title of the film out in glittery pink mist.

All the while Scooby and Shaggy throw candy at each other, deliberately obtuse to the cloud of fear toxin enveloping their friends and the townsfolk, the steady destruction of the Mystery Machine they’re laying in as multiple cars crash into it and send it spiraling, and the general mayhem and destruction that Scarecrow is causing

Never change, guys, never change

--------

I just choked on my lemonade

There’s an article plastered to the roof of the Mystery Machine titled “Talking Dog Confounds, Ignites Ethics Debate Over Dog Labor”

ahahahahaha

-------

Annnnnnnnd there goes the Mystery Machine, tumbling in the air and over the roads with Shaggy and Scooby still inside without seat belts. Will they perish in this horrible road accident? Will Death finally come to claim them at last?

Of course not. This is Shaggy and Scooby we’re talking about - I’m almost positive they can survive anything up to and including a nuclear bomb. This is child’s play to them.

-------

So they “capture” Scarecrow… by pinning his cape to a tree with crossbow bolts. 

And they do not try to at least tie up his arms or his hands in ANY capacity. 

JUST the cape. 

...you know, Velma, for a team with a “flawless” track record, you guys are making a hecking TON of mistakes in facing against one of Batman’s ROGUES GALLERY, ESPECIALLY with no Batman in sight, good freakin’ grief. 😩

------

Yaaaaaaaaas, this Scarecrow design is LUSH

He’s got the lank, the height, the BTAS costume colors, the elongated face with beaky nose and pointed chin and angular cheekbones, the eyebags like Gucci, the furrowed brow… honestly the only thing missing is the more reddish color hair, and even that isn’t mandatory. I love 😍

Not to mention the HOT DAYUM voice he has - low and velvet rough and so godsdamned particular in a way that could either tie in to obscuring a southern accent as in fanon or just as a stringent academic, oh my yes. He’s voiced by someone called Dwight Schultz, who’s most well known for playing Captain ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock in the OG A-Team show, and someone called Reginald Barclay in Star Trek TNG and Voyager, if any of y’all know that character in particular. 

And of course, the first line he says is a delightfully wry “Oh, but I AM getting away with it,” with the sort of smirk that absolutely lends credence to why he’s a threat to Batman, and not some simpering wimp that can be defeated with some crossbow bolts in a tree.

I think I’m going to enjoy this movie at least somewhat, so long as we get to see him 🥰🥰🥰

(tho on a side note: Daphne why on EARTH are you trying to film Crane saying the meddling kids line? Do you have a video compilation of past villains who’ve done that, and you hope to add his to it? Was your phone damaged when you went up against the Riddler a few DTVs ago and you want a second shot at recording a Gotham Rogue saying it? Bc I don’t think a Gotham Rogue would be too pleased with seeing himself as a Mystery Meme on the Youtubes, you get what I’m saying?)

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Okay, so the floating orb things are explained away as fear toxin bomb drones somehow… despite looking nothing like the other drones and being much smaller with no visible propulsion, while also flying unassisted through and around objects to explode against places once flung…

(tho interesting note, none of them are aimed directly at the crowds, just behind them - odd, that)

But how did he heckin’ FLY at the beginning?

Yeah, they show him wearing wrist-mounted grappling hooks at the end of the intro song sequence, but they are NOWHERE IN SIGHT at the beginning - and I do mean in sight, since he emerges against a backdrop of flames. There was nothing there (see the T-pose above for further evidence), and nothing there when he FLEW THROUGH THE MYSTERY MACHINE’S WINDSHIELD AND FLEW BACK OUT AGAIN. And these things are pale silver, which stands out like crazy against the darker backgrounds, so no hand-wavy ‘they were always being used’ bullcrap we’ve seen in other movies. 

Hmmm *scribbles in notepad* note to self, add notation concerning Crack Theory A on magic!Shaggy to “Uncle Crane” theory files - evidence denotes that Crane is able to fly (or at least hover in mid-air unassisted) for terrorization purposes. May boost strength of CTA by family association, lending credence to magic inheritance along the bloodline...

------

“Avocado Toast Generation”? Crane, I honestly don’t know if you really mean that, or if you understand just how much that phrase gets under any Millennial/Gen Z kid’s skin. Having seen multiple variations of your character, it really could swing either way (tho kudos on the dead switch idea - very nice 👍🏻) 

Although this does lead to an interesting stand-off: Fred, upon seeing the town threatened with 3 days worth of fear toxin, immediately moves to let Crane go, while Velma stops him and refuses to consider compromising if it means Crane escapes.  They both look legitimately frustrated at the other for taking the stance they do. 

Fascinating~

------

Hmmm

Crane honey, I don’t know if your drones are made of flash paper and hope, or if Scooby and Shaggy are using the reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaally old candy (the stuff made about ~3 years ago most neighborhoods give out to the teenagers that knock around midnight on Halloween) to shoot them down, but either way you may wish to speak with the manufacturer about this

Then again, this IS Shaggy and Scooby - they probably could’ve spat marshmallows at the drones and brought them down with equal success and explosions 

(and good on them for shooting those down! Atta boy 👍🏻)

-------

Aw dang it

1. They still have Crane captured and now in handcuffs (despite having… you know… NOT been bound by anything except cross bolts in his curtain cape thing)

2. Dwight Schultz has decided to pitch his voice higher and more nasally than what he has. Hopefully this is more of an incredulous sort of pitch than something that sticks for the rest of the movie, ugh.

Also, I think they’re framing the movie to be more Velma-centric this time around - she’s the one explaining to Crane how they tracked him down, apparently through a piece of fan mail he sent Elvira (is that the only reason she’s there? Also why was Velma examining random pieces of fan mail for toxins, Elvira probs gets hundreds a week irl) and it looks like they’re framing something up on how fear isn’t something you can pretend isn’t there. neat!

------

whajit

53rd? 

53rd?!?!

ONLY 53rd?!?!?!?!

Boooo, Scarecrow’s WAY more popular than that! I call foul

---

Okay why is Daphne’s schtick so far to spit laaaaaaame slang after every sentence Velma says

I would rather this not be her schtick

Actually could she go back to filming mystery stuff, bc at least I can pretend it’ll build into the OG Zombie Island Daphne

----

Phew, his voice has returned to its low, raspy goodness

also, Crane needs to learn about personal space, good grief

(interesting clue brought up tho - Crane only steals tech that CAN’T leak his toxin, ergo it can’t be tracked until he releases it. Sensible use, given that Batman probs tracks it if it does.)

----

Velma: I’m not afraid of you, Crane. Fear is an illogical reaction to an imagined threat. 

Crane:

-----

Crane: Fearless, then. Intelligent. Proud and stubborn. You remind me very much of the one person in this world I care about. 

uhhhhhh

Yourself? Harley? Edward Nygma? Ichabod the raven? Idk, I’m honestly curious as to where this thread will go 🤔🤔🤔

-----

Fred, leaning against the Mystery Machine: Guys, it’s gonna be okay. She told me!

O_o

Fred? Honey? Are you sure you weren’t supposed to join Crane in the transport vehicle back to Arkham? 

----

OH SWEET JESUS SHAGGY GREW YAOI HANDS

WHAT THE HECK 

THAT’S WAY MORE UNNERVING THEN YOU GUYS NOT BEING AFRAID ANYMORE

(although the fact that they’re both unsettled by NOT constantly shaking or having their heart racing is honestly kind of heartbreaking. Y’all need therapy, good grief)

----

Shaggy and Scooby just chewed up candy (wrapper and all) to make themselves a Halloween costume of… what looks like barfed-up candy (ew)

Before then proceeding to dance so well that everyone around them also starts dancing in a 60s-70s era rainbow light show and giving them candy

I worry for these two sometimes - that kind of power seems to be getting to their head 😬😬😬

---

Oh hey, acid green toxic waste is spilling from an 18-wheeler onto the Fear Toxin drones and emitting a purple pink haze that envelops a pumpkin patch! That won’t do anything suspicious at all I bet!

(wait is Poison Ivy going to come into this at some point)

(also major kudos to the music here - very 80s horror synth, I like)

----

So the Pumpkins have grown faces, limbs, consciousness, the ability to fly and a lust for human flesh

And they appear to be led by the Pumpkin King of the Pumpkin Patch mentioned in the Charlie Brown Halloween special

He’s not as friendly as I pictured him being, sadly 😕

---

Why is this random ass cop coming up to FD&V to say that they’re in over their heads… AFTER the mystery’s been solved?

Like dude, you’re only making yourself suspicious at this point, go home

----

Huh, interesting - the gang are being interviewed for a tv news network while they’re considered the town heroes

Why am I getting bad vibes from this…

Eh, it’s probably nothing

----

Velma: {Shaggy and Scooby} are, um… REALLY into the Halloween spirit. 

Shaggy: THIS ISN’T COSPLAY, VELMA!

I’m dying 😂

------

Holy Shit

Velma just snapped and went off on Shaggy and Scooby for acting scared and doing nothing to help wrap up the mystery

(even though these guys are the ONLY reason that the gang didn’t have to choose between setting Scarecrow free and poisoning the entire town for 3 days straight, but hey, what do I know - I’m just writing an in-depth reaction post to this movie and taking note of details like this, clearly I know nothing *eye roll*)

Last time I saw Velma critique the guys’ usual mystery solving shenanigans, it was much more low-key and without knowing they were nearby

But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence

------

What the

Bills?

Bills?!?!

Fred just mentioned that fixing the Mystery Machine was going to leave a hefty bill and that they may need to get dishwashing jobs to earn money

Which is more of a job you might expect a high schooler to get on the go and yet

They actually have to pay bills 

How old are they here??!

------

wait a tic

THIS is how they introduce Bill Nye?

He just calls up Velma with no explanation other than Velma saying “Oh hey, it’s Bill Nye!”

I just - what?!?!

How do you know him so well that he can just pull up your number and call you, and then geT YOU A NEW FREAKING CAR LIKE

WHAT?!?!?!?

Was there a Scooby episode with him in the past two years where the fcuk did this come from

------

Also the car is dressed like Bill Nye

And he can talk to the gang directly as the car

So that he can solve mysteries with them whenever he wants

This… this was not what I was expecting to come about from the Bill Nye cameo 

(alas, poor predictions of being Crane’s roommate, you will not come to pass this day) 😔

-------

Ooooo, purple haze throbbing on the horizon! That’s always a good sign of things to come! 😀

------

 And now Daphne’s… asking Elvira to mentor her fashion wise. And Elvira’s taking her on as her unpaid intern/personal assistant.

Yooo, movie, can you pick a direction and stick with it for Daphne? You’ve gone from her spewing outdated slang to wanting a costume for trick-or-treating, and now this. 

-------

Welp, now I can say I saw a giant pumpkin dog vore an old woman

I didn’t WANT to see that mind, but I guess I can say it now 😐

------

OH SHIT NO

IT TURNED HER INTO A FLYING PUMPKIN SHAPED LIKE HER FACE

ABSOLUTELY UNSETTLING, 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND

-------

At least we get a nice scene of Daphne kicking the pumpkins’ collective butt

Something normal

------

Elvira: WOW! You’re a regular Mary Sue!

*falls over cackling*

------

And now there’s a giant purple fissure opening up in the concrete to swallow the town of Crystal Cove whole 

(good, i whisper softly into the darkness of my living room. Let it fall)

--------

Man, I feel so bad for this single father right now

He’s gotten wrapped up in all of this nonsense with his daughter, and he is just Distraught at being chased by Jackal Lanterns, having the town collapsing under his feet, and having to gorge jump in his sedan to get away from the worst of it

It’s okay, Mike Dad - we would feel the same way in your shoes

-------

Hologram Bill Nye is wearing Cat ears and cat whiskers/nose, and is cleaning his hands like a cat cleans its paws

Why was this the movie we found out Bill Nye was a furry

Why Warner Bros 

Why would you inflict this upon us in a Scooby Doo-Scarecrow mystery

-------

Hey, can Jonathan Crane return now? The movie needs its dignity back. 

------

A clue on the whys here - the town was built on top of a MASSIVE lithium deposit, with the talks to mine it being scrapped due to environmental concerns. That’s actually a decent lead in for why some 

-------

Welp

The Jackal Lanterns just went full Mad Max with the Halloween Parade floats and cars

No, I don’t have any idea why either, just roll with it

-------

Nice, they confirmed that Fred’s full name is still Frederick Herman Jones XD

Also a great little action sequence with Daphne - while there’s not much movement, they frame the scene dynamically, with some good quick wordplay. Very nice. 

--------

Velma has a mind palace

Aight

--------

Velma: Shaggy, I could kiss you!

Oh, to hear this as a child, when I still hardcore shipped Shelma *sigh*

------

Oh thank gods we’re going back to Scarecrow again

------

Shaggy ate some Scooby Snacks, leapt out of a moving vehicle, and onto the backs of two flying pumpkins that he promptly reined in to fly to Crane’s prison transport

...yet again, I am amazed at the sentences I am led to type for Scooby Doo DTVs

------

Ah, how very Hannibal Lector of you, Jon 

Man, he actually looks very meek in normal clothes - red long-sleeved shirt and grey slacks

-----

Hmmm

So Crane ISN’T behind the Jackal Lanterns - in fact he’s outright befuddled by them. This means his whole spiel to Velma earlier about both of them being caught in the same trap was… metaphorical? The breakdown doesn’t actually go into WHY he thinks they’re in the same trap - Crane’s whole schtick is tied to accepting fear, not denying it, so why would they be the same?

Either way, someone is using both him and Mystery Inc to do something to Crystal Cove (please be Red Herring, please be Red Herring, please be Red Herring)

Actually, that reference at the beginning really WAS a red herring - they framed it as being Jon the whole time when it wasn’t. Kudos!

Additional kudos to having Jon be seen more out of mask than in - he is a looker, and I aim to look as much as I can ;)

-------

Annnnd Daphne’s now trying to convince Elvira to switch clothes with her

I don’t get it - how on earth did we get from Daphne trying to find a good costume for trick-or-treating to asking Elvira to switch oh there it is nevermind.

-----

There is literally a scene where a giant buzzsaw is slicing towards Crane

and he just

stares at it

going “huh, that’s different”

And I LOVE IT

------

And here we have another fascinating scene: Velma going to free Crane from his cell, as Daphne tells her to just leave him to die by pumpkin

I’m wondering if they meant to draw a parallel between the two here - Velma starts by reciting a nursery rhyme, then overcoming her fears in order to release madness to take control. It’s not done very cleanly - mainly bc we barely have any time with Crane in this movie - but I wonder if they meant to insinuate that Crane was like Velma once, where he refused to acknowledge he was afraid, which caused him to lose focus on his initial goals

Idk, ignore my ramblings

---

Crane, smirking: I’ll need my personal effects - extenuating circumstances.

Me, fanning myself: I’ll need you to remove yours first

(i am not even kidding, Crane is an absolute DILF in this movie and it flusters me. Stupid sexy animation)

---

YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS

SCARECROW TO THE MOTHERFCUKING RESCUE BABY, SCYTHE AND FCUKING ALL!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

----

FCUK YEAH THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

HE HAS A DANCE LIKE QUALITY WITH SOME OF HIS FIGHTING MOVES

VIOLENT DANCING BRINGS THE GIANT JACKAL LANTERN DOWN BABY

THEN HE BACKFLIPS AND GYMNASTIC SWINGS INTO THE VAN

ROCK IT SCARECROW FCUKING ROCK IT

(minor note here, but the subtitles show Dr. Crane instead of Scarecrow - unsure if that’s more that the movie calls him Dr Crane or if it indicates he’s acting more heroic than villainous)

---

GODDAMNIT

THE GIANT PUMPKIN SNUCK VINES INTO THE VAN AND STOLE HIM BACK 

WHEN CRANE WAS... wearing a seatbelt before, but isn’t now.

...

BOOOOO

---

Yet again, we find a Scooby movie that attempts character development, but with Velma

Unlike Shaggy’s Showdown however, I’m mixed on how successful it is.

For starters, Velma hasn’t been this cocksure in other DTVs we’ve seen, so it’s a bit odd to see it now. While not 100% out of place - after all, the gang DID capture one of Batman’s Rogues Gallery on their own - it still feels a touch forced. Compare that to Shaggy’s Showdown, where Shaggy has ALWAYS been a coward (one that, in more recent years, writers have had willing to abandon his friends for safety), so the character development there feels more natural. 

The progression of events with Velma actually work somewhat okay - but again, here’s where past DTVs come to bite them in the ass. The past handful have had the gang be wrong, have had them fail, or catch the wrong guy. This makes Velma’s attitude here at odds with the other films, something that sticks more due to a character that’s appeared in the past few films as a minor inconvenience - a Sheriff who keeps telling the gang not to interfere, they’re doing things wrong, etc. If this had been a character who was completely wrong in the past AND SHOWN TO BE WRONG FOR HIS OPINIONS, while the gang never guessed wrong, this would work much better. Unfortunately, it doesn’t, and here we are. 

I think it would have flowed better if Velma’s cockiness came solely from catching Crane on their own. Have a random cop character or reporter or whatever (just not the recurring cop), insinuate that the gang is in too deep with Scarecrow, that he should be handled by the adults or professionals or whatever. Velma could bristle, overcompensate, and THEN fall from her pedestal like we see, reach out to the gang and commiserate over feeling scared, and grow. Again, it’s not too far to reach for, but they handle it poorly; as a result, the outcome feels a little more shoehorned in. 

It’s an honest shame, bc we haven’t had a Velma centered story since Frankencreepy, and we all remember what a hideous fcuking mess THAT was *shudders*. Still, it somewhat gets its point across, I guess.

---

Fred why did you rip your shirt off

Actually better question why do you not have nipples

--- 

Awwwwwww

Velma just apologized to Shag and Scoob for snapping at them earlier, and admits how she doesn’t appreciate how much they make Mystery Inc what it is

Also she eats a Scooby Snack with them and admits they taste pretty good

----

Huh

Velma’s mind palace is the Mystery Machine driving through space

Also Shaggy and Scooby are able to telepathically follow her in and communicate with her

Literally, they actually followed her into her head telepathically, and show her their memories of things she hasn’t gotten to see tonight (while also possibly enhancing her ability to remember things, given how much DETAIL she captures perfectly of things that she would maybe have glimpsed in a millisecond AT MOST)

...another tally for Crack Theory A of magic! Shaggy and Scooby *scribbles*

-------

Fred, be very very thankful that there are no people operating those pumpkins in person cause uhhhh

Those traps would be spraying red instead of orange

------

Another weird music choice - the gang goes up to fight the Jackal Lanterns, but the music is the same 60s bubble we heard earlier 

Not terribly atmospheric, really

(wouldn’t a Smashing Pumpkins cover of Scooby Doo be more appropriate, or did you guys spend all your money on hiring Elvira and Bill Nye?)

------

Dang

Velma just admitted her fears and jumped into the mouth of the Mega Pumpkin, before getting Fred to use the app from earlier to shut it down, revealing it to be a giant drone surrounded by smaller pumpkin drones

This feels… counterintuitive, but I’ll try to explain at the end

---

Okay

I’ll admit it

The Whodunnit is actually pretty decent in concept

There was a sprinkling of tidbits that could be assembled for the final conclusion and still make a decent amount of sense, all to find the sheriff doing it 

Only he isn’t a sheriff

He’s a former Tech CEO who was also busted by the gang years ago in a case the Sheriff kept bringing up throughout the movie - due to his prison sentence, he lost more than half his wealth and the opportunity to expand it further with the Crystal Cove Lithium deposits

He was also someone who sold tech to Crane for his fear toxin distribution, where he got the idea to frame him for it

(tho on a side note, Crane is an absolute dork and a terrible liar - just look at the email he sent XD and that profile pic, my gods)

He deliberately picked at the gang for the past few DTVs (specifically 2: Return to Zombie Island and Curse of the 13th Ghost) to fracture their confidence, undermine them, etc - all so that in one fell swoop, he could retake his fortune, frighten everyone in town away from the mines so they couldn’t interfere, frighten away the gang (while also ruining their reputation as mystery solvers), and take Crane off the docket so he couldn’t identify the CEO when he pretended to be the sheriff

This… is actually a pretty damn good plan, for a Scooby villain. He was patient, manipulative, and clever, learning how best to tie up loose ends and win back what he lost. A clever revenge story that came so close to coming to fruition, and could have honestly been sold convincingly… 

...if it hadn’t been done so much better in Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. 

Yeeeaaaah, this movie basically lifts the rough framework up from that one - past mystery villain comes back to attack the gang and ruin their reputation (tho this one decides to also make his fortune back and tie up loose ends with former criminal contacts, a la Crane). Gang is embarrassed in front of the news folk, another villain is framed for it (like Old Man Wickles of the Black Knight fame), and the gang must reconcile to foil the villain for good.

Although it also??? Merges elements of Frankencreepy in it?? The movie is focused on Velma, who is struggling to admit when she’s wrong (which ties into her fear, somehow… I’ll think on that point a little) and things purportedly go haywire when she won’t bend. This… isn’t illustrated as well here, since there’s very little direct cause-and-effect from Velma’s actions that would prove this point - that insisting her way is the right, best, and therefore only way to go ends up making things worse.  

As much as I despised Frankencreepy (and I DESPISED IT), it did do that part well - showing that refusing to budge on something can lead to you hurting your friends (literally, in that one), and that admitting you were wrong and need help isn’t the end of the world. 

(that movie also had former villains returning to gain vengeance upon the gang using psychological warfare, hm - may need to go over that one again, unfortunately).

It’s a shame, too -  the basic elements for this plot are all here, they just need to be polished and reworked a bit to make a really fascinating movie. 

------

Anyways, back to the asshat CEO who just… faked being a sheriff. Because white people can get away with that so long as they have the outfit and the car *throws up hands* (the sad part is this is probably something that actually happens)

As he drives away we see a familiar silhouette looming in the cornfields, watching him approach

Velma had Bill Nye on speaker, so he could record the entire confession for the federal officers nearby (who were taking Scarecrow back to Arkham), and track the phone signal to his exact location

And right as his holographic call cuts out, we see the shadow of a Scarecrow looming over him, causing him to scream.

When the feds arrive at his final location, both his body and the money have vanished. The car still sits, engine running, before the crows leering over him from the field vanish into the sky. 

-------

Now that he’s dead, the gang walks and finds themselves at a Halloween party, with friendly faces and good food. The mystery is solved, though the culprit may never be found again. 

Then Daphne admits to NOT trying to steal Elvira’s costume for Halloween, but instead trying to steal Elvira’s identity and replace her. 

Something that she’s apparently nearly gotten away with on past mysteries working with Phillis Diller

*sighs* movie, why couldn’t you just stick to the costume schtick? This is just… so much worse. 

-----

From there, Elvira walks off to wrap things up, reveal the monster face on the back of her head sans wig (which was also a monkey), and start the credits, where we see the gang working to bring the Mystery Machine back to its former glory a la Frankenstein pastiche. 

This movie… this movie is a hot mess, but at least it’s an OKAY hot mess. 

It really does feel like someone started writing a decent Velma-focused movie concerning the Scarecrow and a past Mystery Inc villain interfering, but was bogged down by notes from higher-ups: Wait! Write in Elvira! Also write in Bill Nye! Hey, let’s have a Mad Max car chase with the Jackal Lanterns! And have Daphne obsessed with literally becoming Elvira! Also make reference to things that we’ll insist be explained this way instead of a way that makes sense! Great!

(seriously tho, we never find out who Crane cares about most that reminds him of Velma, what the heck?)

It’s like two or three different scripts were smooshed together without being cleaned up - stuff is said that doesn’t get resolved, the celebrity guests don’t get to breathe much and feel squished together, and the build-up for the villain feels… less impactful, even knowing that he’s been in the past two films. 

It might have worked if he’d been in… let’s say like 5 or 6 DTVs in a row, speaking roles for dissing the gang growing in each (ex start with “Good job kids! But maybe next time, leave it to the professionals, okay?” and growing more bitter from there), but only 2 feels kind of meh. Still, I do appreciate the clues we got to collect together, and they all work in the final breakdown of the scheme - some DTVs can feel like they pull stuff completely out of nowhere, so kudos there. 

I appreciate what they wanted to do with Velma - give her a character development arc similar to Shaggy’s in Shaggy’s Showdown. Unfortunately, it wasn’t set up quite so neatly: they blended her ‘refusal to admit fear’ with her overconfidence that she was always right, and it led to a weird conclusion. To face her fears, she leapt into the Giant Pumpkin, which… proved that she was right all along about it being fake, and that solves things somehow. It doesn’t address how she can get something wrong sometimes, it doesn’t really address what she’s afraid of (which is honestly quite good: she’s afraid of failing in a way that allows bad guys to escape justice and in a way that hurts her friends), it’s just a bit of a mess. Points for aiming the focus the right way (and in a way that DOESN’T sexualize the underage teenage girl, unlike some DTVs cough cough Frankencreepy cough cough), but it’s very very messy how it goes about it. 

The movie actually balanced pretty well for the whole gang - no excessive focus on one leaving the rest in the dust (too much at least - Fred was a touch underdeveloped, but nowhere near as annoying as past iterations have been. Shaggy and Scooby were kind of meh in some places but great in others, while Daphne was just odd. I think they were trying to recapture the BCSD Daphne characterization, but they failed. Still, she did spend some good time kicking ass with the pumpkins, so that was fun.

Now for the Rogue, Jonathan Crane. If you like Crane, this movie gives you: maniacal Scarecrow, calm and creepy Crane, a brief glimpse at fanboy!Crane (he admits in his own awkward way that he’s a fan of Elvira, and later tells her he loves her work - it’s fun), and (best of all for me) a heroic Crane - one who helps the protagonists and ends up kicking ass pretty damn well, brief as it was. And while DILF Crane is always a treat, he feels underutilized in this. In comparison, Scooby Doo/Batman Brave and the Bold really utilized a lot of different aspects of Riddler, to the point he actually does feel pretty menacing by the third act. It’s a shame we don’t quite get that with Crane, but I do love seeing him 1. More out of mask, and 2. Acting as a good guy (in his own way), so he’s enjoyable on the whole. 

I kind of wish that the whole movie was spent more with Crane, but again, the script is a bit of a mess on this part - the fact that he’s not completely screwed over is a goddamn miracle. 

Elvira was… okay. She didn’t have much of a purpose beyond getting the plot started and giving Daphne some hooks to play off of. Bill Nye (abrupt as his introduction was) did provide some necessary elements to the mystery, as well as the tech; he wasn’t too bad by the end. (still a touch bitter we didn’t get ex roommate Nye, but hey, what can you do)

Humor was… mixed. Some good, some meh, but very few long enough to feel painful. Some bits felt extraneous at times, but they did help to build to the conclusion, so points for effort.

At the end of the day though, I’m probably keeping this more for Jonathan Crane than anyone else. It does have a lot of fanfic potential tho 🤔🤔🤔

That’s all from me tonight, folks! Hope you enjoyed my own little breakdown of the movie. 

[vczxcxx]

Dwangela

When I watched the office I expect myself to fall in love with Pam/Jim dynamic but I fell in love with Dwight/ Angela dynamic.

I don’t know it’s just something in their chemistry, the slow-burn, the angst and the frustration made me root for them till the end. Kudos to Rainn Wilson and Angela Kinsey for playing them so well. I mean Angela is the complete opposite of Angela( if you listen to podcast of her and Jenna and interviews). With Rainn, he gives a bit of Dwight vibes but still different from him. Overall, Dwight and Angela is so different and the same time fits so well together. They are both miserable without each other but wouldn’t admit it. I am also a sucker for smol-tol couples. I mean Angela’s height barely reach Dwight’s shoulder and that’s with shoes.

Season 2- I presume that’s when their relationship starts? I love their little long glances here and there. And the sexual tension🔥kudos to Rainn and Angela for playing it so well. I really love the moment where Angela gave the bobble head to Dwight and you could see the genuine bliss from his face, and him asking Pam for gifts ideas is just so adorable. I love from here on you could see that Dwight is such an odd character with weird personalities but he treat Angela like a gentleman, respects her and clearly adore her. I also love how Angela is so supportive of her boyfriend especially the episode where Dwight was the best sales man.

Season 3- This season we get to see more of their relationship. I personally love the Christmas episode where Dwight was comforting Angela after the day she had: that little handholding again proves that Dwight is a loving and supportive boyfriend and also we got to hear their nickname to each other. I love how Dwight called her monkey and how Angela called him D so affectionately. I have a little theory of where the nickname derived from; maybe it’s like a code name for each other cause in a deleted scene in the episode where they go meet Jim in the convention, Dwight was calling Angela in front of Michael; and he was using her nickname. Or maybe when she was staying over, there was a high shelf that she could not reach so she climbed around since she did not want to ask for help, and Dwight was witnessing it quietly, thus decided to call her that. Of course, at first Angela would not agree to be call an animal but secretly she likes it because it’s their little secret. Then the convict episode, they decided to sit together as most of the episode prior to this episode you never seen them sitting together just glances here and there. I also liked Dwight’s iconic smirk, that lil smirk they he puts whenever it involves his lady friend. There are so many more that I love.

Season 4&5- for me these 2 season is filled with angst and made me feel sorry for Dwight. The first episode of season 4 started well with their secret gate away place with Angela asking Dwight to take care of sprinkles but Dwight has to mercy kill sprinkles: it’s cruel and inhuman, I understand and feel sad for Angela, it’s one of her first cat that she adopted and it meant a lot to her. She thought Dwight would understand but he went and kill her cat and the part where he wanted to compensate her with garbage; that was so cute but was hoping Dwight would understand that no cat will fill sprinkles gap but still the image of Dwight and the cat; just cute. I think they would gotten back together much faster if they communicate sooner. My heart breaks for both of them but my heart breaks more when Angela started to date Andy. Personally, they are the weirdest couple combination(even worse than jan/ Michael). Dwight proving that he could win against the computer is so Dwight if winning back your lady friend; and Angela not having any of it makes my heart ache for Dwight. And the part where Angela agrees on going out with him:( I just feel like Rainn did such a good job portraying. I feel like the whole season 4 is the phase where Dwight tried to move on but fail( again foreshadowing that they belong together). But they eventually got back together I guess during the episode where nobody was in the office except them. Again their sexual tension filled up the whole office and you can literally feel it( foreshadowing that they are going to get it on in the finale of season 4(?)) in season 5 we open with them getting it on in the warehouse( indication been going on since the summer). Now Cheating is bad and immoral, it would be better that would have communicate, and again I think it’s both their fault. I think Dwight was desperate in any means to be together with Angela because of how he loves her. His love for her burns with a passion so much that he would do anything just to be with her. And I feel like Angela was just meh just contemplating if she wants to take the risk( of being with the one she loves) or some one more safe and stable( Andy). She’s conflicted and at the same time has a lot of pride. Personally, at this point I hated how she handled the situation leading them on. During the duel episode I am kinda glad they both left her. I think at that point she realised how she should have thought it through with the men in her life; being greedy and holding on will make you lose both of them. And I guess they didn’t talk for the rest of the season after that. But we didn’t see Angela’s side of the relationship but it was disclosed in the deleted scenes with the volleyball episode where Dwight defended her; you can see that she has remorse and regret with what she did; clearly she still has feelings for him.

Season 6&7- with season 6, Dwight’s love for Angela is still there but this time he is more guarded and not as reckless as season 4-5 because this woman that he loves hurt him and he’s not sure if he’s willing to go through it again. The episode where he wanted a baby; he asked Angela of all the people indicate that he still thinks highly of her. Of course with how their dynamic is, they have a Contract to go with it; and Angela was hoping that Dwight would fall in love with her again in the baby making process. And Dwight got reluctant as they got through the baby making process. He feel more guarded and reluctant but Angela refused to let it go( her way of wanting to get back in any means(?)) so she found a loophole in the contract and wanted them to procreate for 5 more times expecting Dwight to fall in love with her again. Of course that didn’t work because Dwight seem uninterested to get back to her; so eventually she tries to move on with the senator. I think Dwight wanted to be more alert and not throw himself to love unguarded and with passion. I understand that from what he experienced he wanted to love more cautiously.

Season 8-season 8( we are nearly there), Angela is engaged to the senator. Still she cheated the senator with Dwight. Again they always seem to finds way to get back in any means. Again, Dwight is willing to let this affair happen because he still loves her but not like how he used to love her but regardless still love her so he decided to sleep with her. When Philip was born, you can see the elation in Dwight’s face and how he is certain the boy is his and how he still believed till the end of the season. I don’t understand why Angela still wanted kept the truth from him ( maybe to stretch out their relationship( writers idea?)) maybe of her pride and that she did not want to be an embarrassment?

Season 9- the season starts with the paternity test being negative dun dun dun. But I am still convince that Philip is his( as a Viewer anyway). And we get to the episode where the senator is revealed as being gay and Oscar is cheating with the senator. I love how the first person she seeks is Dwight and how Dwight misunderstand the situation😂. He still wants to help her despite everything, and comforted her. The end part of the episode just sends me when they ask tony about homosexuals. I think at this point you can see their relationship continues to heal and reconcile by means of being a proper friendship. I personally love it when during the Christmas episode, Dwight decided to just whip Oscar dying the bershnike part and he did a little glance to Angela . In 9x16, when they were both taking care of his aunt; I guess that is the only time we get to see glimpses on how Angela was when he was dating him( when she was staying over in the farm). And we could see Dwight’s love for her rekindle more; and with the timing and everything with the senator he jumped the opportunity by kissing her and declare that he wanted her back in her life, how they were meant together( that was the sweetest part). Interestingly the slaughter house turns them on😂. I love at this point Dwight put everything on the table and lay out his love for her, but as stubborn and prideful Angela is, she rejected him( i want to make more in-depth writing in this with the what ifs if Angela does swallow her pride and decided to get back to him). And we get to the few episode where Angela’s life when downhill when the senator reveal himself and also apparently cheated on Oscar; it takes a crisis in her life to become a better person like appreciating things around her, the thing she lost( I.e Dwight). I really love the part where Oscar and Angela supported each other, and the hand holding is just shows their evolved friendship. I also love the part where Angela pour her heart out infornt of Oscar. I think the Esther and Dwight dynamic; is a way that Dwight wanting to move on but can’t( with Esther being perfect on paper). Lastly the episode where Philip was in( he’s so cute and he’s look just like Dwight), the inner dilemma that he faces to propose to esther; and the speech that Jim gave to Dwight is just shows even they are frenemies they still have the utmost respect between them. The proposal scene is one of my fav scene in season 9. It’s just so them( I mean even with their last season ended with a car chase) it’s just so dramatic and them. I can imagine what Philip and their other kids would have to face with their parents. That was my finally moment, where I was like finally they admit their feelings🥺. I was literally cheering and screaming. I love the pure elation with Dwight’s face when Angela Said I love you; I always liked the little smile and the smiles where she’s around Dwight. She so beautiful when she smiles. The part with Philip is so I just was so happy. In the finale, the wedding is just so then weird but perfect. I wish they include the part where Dwight made Oscar the godfather.

Overall, I just love them so much; they were such a rollercoaster and I am glad they lived happily ever after with Schrute babies running around. They were also one of my otp who got together after a long time( most of my OTP didn’t make it :,(). I just wished we see more of it after the proposal scene with that 1 year time skip and personally I think we would see more of their relationship if they got back together in 9x16. Really bravo to Angela and Rainn for playing them so well.

[life-of-ice]

Apparently I'm an even bigger sucker for AJR then even I thought I was. Ya boi wrote down my interpretation of the stories of as many AJR songs as I could get a hold of.

(Not gonna lie, some of these made me cry.)

AJR Analysis : Living Room

Overture- Is good songs smushed together

Infinity- This is kind of one of the only love songs they will ever write. In this he is kind of asking if it was all in his head and that she was kind of perfect to him and all his troubles fell away when she was there and it's just a really sweet song.

I’m Ready- This is when they are really confident and happy, and excited for their first album to come out. They also want to make other people happy

My Calling- He is finding his calling, which is represented by ‘ I'm sailing the clouds”, and he's pretty confident it is his calling as said by teh “It might be my calling”.I think the “A heartbreak and hundred red balloons, now i'm off the floor” means he found his calling when he broke up with his significant other, and finding his purpose made him happy, or euphoric. He kinda thinks that he's going to put himself into this completely, and there's no going back, so he’ll let you know when he succeeds.

Thirsty- This is a silly party song about drunk people being really intense and excited.

Pitchfork Kids- This is literally one of the most intense song in the album and it is so hard to analyze in the beginning. He’s saying if he should spend time running for his life and that the “Pitchfork kids” are coming for him, orlike peer pressure and popular kids and people and if he gets away he’ll still be singing his. 

Livin’ on Love- This is about a guy who has a crush on someone, and that someone makes the first move. He explains he likes to take it slow, and he doesn't want this relationship to end, and looks like it'll be smooth sailing from there.

Big White Bed- He's thinking about his future with someone he lives. He would imagine living with his significant other for the rest of his life.

The World is A Marble Heart- He feels betrayed that his ex left him because of promises his ex made him when they first started dating. He's just kinda bitter.

The Green and the Town-The Giants they refer to are adults. They know they're  growing up, and they hope they can keep their youthful tendencies. He wants to be able to come back home someday, and relive his younger days.

Big Idea- They are really confident after a big success. And while they might be a small fry in the world of music, they are taking what they can get. They feel like you can do anything you put your mind to. But for now they are going to celebrate.

Growing Old on Bleecker Street- He's kind of saying it's kind of pointless to dream alone and that he is going to take his and wait for someone for him to make him happy. And that time may wash away his memories but him and the person in the song and him will still cry together. This song is really hard to put into words but i think the music and the lyrics are really beautiful. The music really complements the words too. It's a beautiful ending to a beautiful album.

AJR Analysis : The Click - Deluxe( https://youtu.be/PZz1Gxdb_tA )

Overture- Unfortunately, this is just a very well put together mashup of the other songs.

The Good Part- He's not sure he's made it yet and he doesn't know what or where it is but still really wants to be there but he doesn't want to go through all of the hard parts in the middle and, this is just stealing the name but, just wants to skip to the good part.

Weak- He wants to be stronger and resist those who want to get him in trouble, despite how he knows that trouble he gets himself into is fun for him. He keeps refusing, his past keeps interfering as though he had an addiction in the past.” One hit” almost certainly refers to that.

Sober Up- He doesn't want to be left behind by the few people he wants to trust but they keep losing touch and his new friends are kinda bad (reference to drama) and i think this kind of touches on the three of their relationship as brothers that dont hate each other.

Drama- He is outgrowing his friends, and notices that they aren't exactly the best influence on him. His so called friends have overblown problems that really aren't necessary, and they are pretty as shown in the “Recently, he said that she said some shret that you wouldn't believe.”

Turning Out- He realizes he has really high expectations for a relationship, needs to reevaluate how he would like a relationship. He also needs to work on his maturity. He realizes he needs to know how to make a friendship before he does anything else.

No Grass Today- He refers to smoking when he talks about “grass”. It seems like he used to smoke, but stopped after he started performing. He doesn'to anymore, but is cool if you smoke because he understands that it has a kind of euphoria. He replaced his addiction with music, because it feels the same to him. As it is, his whole attitude is  you do you, I'll do me.

Three Thirty- He wants to get his work out to the public, but no one has yet to accept his work. He knows he needs more attention, and he wonders whether if he would get the success he wants by becoming more mainstream, like Ed Sheeran. He also wonders whether he can get success before he gives up.

Call My Dad- Something bad happened to him when he went to a party and hung out with a girl. He wants to be comforted and go home,which is why he wants to call his dad, as his dad represents home and safety to him.

I'm Not Famous- He's not famous and he embraces it. He embraces it because his problems are kinda embarrassing, and he doesn't really want to show everyone and lose all privacy in his life.

Netflix Trip- It goes through his life and some of his most influential moments in his life that this show had gotten him through. Also the show is the office, with Dwight, Michael, and Jim and head of sales. I also fit with times of when the seasons originally came out. It also talks about the show being over and he’s going through netflix looking for a new show to help him get through the times that are harder for him to get through himself.

Bud like You- Two really good friends being like why are people taking everything so seriously. And also like why is everything so expensive

Come Hang Out- He is always leaving himself out on gatherings with friends and people because he wants to keep working on his musical career. In the bridge he says “should i go for more clicks this year, or should i follow the click in my ear.” I think that's one of the more powerful lines in this song, because he's saying that he is comparing his popularity on the internet to the “click” or clique that keeps asking him to drop it for once and hang out.

Burn the House down- He used to be innocent and foolish wondering about how he looked and walked and now he isn't as innocent and now he wonders if he should keep his songs innocent even though he isn’t and everyone is now deceiving and stoof and he wonders if he should expose them with strangers on Twitter of bite his tongue. Lets just say he chooses to expose the crap outta them.

Role Models- He's saying that people are famous for all of the wrong reasons. I think this song really connects to their later song in neotheater, beats, because i think he is kind of worrying about losing all the best parts of himself and become what some of the more famous people are.

Normal- The background music sounds like a playground, which I think represents his childhood. He doesn't feel normal as people think it's weird he's spending time by himself. He wants to give up and stop trying since people think he's so weird. “My friends have all new friends” means that he doesn't want to be left behind, and he made something to make him popular, and that makes him sad.

Pretender- I honestly love the acoustic version. This song is, i think, sort of about the sang like if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you. He is basically saying that he has problems and insecurities but he hides them to be like everyone and he thinks hes right about the fact that he has to be exactly like everyone else. Also it makes an amazing mash up with next up forever.

Ajr Analysis: Neotheather (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmvfyCBJfPPRukUpv-xRE6EWuHZeAosLJ) 

Next Up Forever- The perspective is very nervous, and people are encouraging him to get better and better. He is both hopeful for his success, and scared of it.

Birthday Party- This is the perspective of an innocent person. He describes all of the world's problems, like “ I bet my ignorance is always Bliss, except ignoring pigment in our skin, I bet my countries nice to immigrants”. He is throwing shade at our problems with racism and ignoring the other problems we have, like global warming and discrimination of the minority.  

100 Bad Days- This is from the perspective of someone who is trying to ignore his problems, and brush it off for tomorrow as his way of coping. Like for example, when his girlfriend breaks up with him.

Don't Throw Out my Legos- The perspective is from a person graduating from perhaps high school, and is moving out. He doesn't want to leave his childhood behind him completely.

Break My Face- He's like Eff you, I'm fine, you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself, because you're kinda a jerk. If you only care about my looks, you have a lot more than me to fix.

Turning Out Pt.ii- He was a sad lonely person, and clung to the first person who would accept him. He realizes that that's what he did, and doesn't to want to burden her with himself anymore. He also realizes his decision might hurt her, and knows he needs to mature.

The Entertainment's here- He wants to distract himself from his reality so he doesn't have to think about his existence, like when he says “But I don't want to to think about my purpose on Earth” He is feeling numb as he has done the same thing over and over again. We think the school bell sound in the chorus is supposed to represent that as the school system is so rigid and uniform, but also rather boring.

Karma- A person is with a psychologist and is asking why he is so depressed as shown by his words of Doc or Doctor. The perspective feels like he has done everything he would to get better, but nothing is working, so it's a vicious cycle of being depressed, then getting depressed because he is depressed

Beats- The past line influences this a lot, but I think it's kind of like is he willing to throw away his dignity and creativity for the popular and expensive things that more popular writers and musicians say and make people think is popular. I think

Wow, I'm not Crazy- It's sort of touching on the fact of being the same in society but also being different. I think it sounds like he's convincing himself he's not crazy it's sort of just a social construct.

Dear Winter- I feel like this is a really nice and wholesome song compared to the rest of the songs. I feel like he is saying he is already proud and happy with Winter even though he hasn't even met their mother yet. I think it's a song where they is saying what he may not be able to say to them when they're older and won't listen to him. And he still has a lot to learn about being a good person and everything but he will still be proud and want to hang out with them. He wants to try really hard to be a good parent. #cool parent😋

Finale(Can't wait to see what you do next)- The perspective is like “ you have really high expectations, and I don't feel like I or anyone else can live up to them. So i'm going to do whatever I want because I don't feel like I have to deal with your expectations anymore. It's also like, I tried really dang hard, and there haven't been any results, as from the “You went hard, and you did fine."

No Album name yet

BANG!!- This songs begins with reminiscing about being a little kid who is allowed to fool around and be silly. He than has to "grow up" and is trying to pretend to adult, by doing adulty things like buying quinoa or other things ings like that."I'm way too young to lie here forever I'm way too old to try, so whatever Come hang, let's go out with a bang "those lines are talking about being at that weird age where you're definitely not feeling comfortable as an adult, or you're just really lost, you don't have to be at a certain age. He just goes fuck it, I'm learning to adult along the way, I'm sorta not succeeding, but that's ok.

[imaginetheoffice]

Before You Go - Ryan x Reader

Pairing: Ryan x Reader

Warnings: None

Genres: Fluff, Mild Angst

Word Count: 2,743

Just got into the Office and wanted to try out some writing for this show. Hope you all enjoy!

Before You Go

A clamorous shuffle of employees interrupted the usual silence that befell the office in its closing hours. Pam smiled occasionally at the exiting person before resuming her work, which was most probably Solitaire. You had just gotten off of your final sales call for the day, to which you gladly hung up the phone and rose from your seat with a triumphant exhale. You stretched your arm before absentmindedly wandering over to Pam’s desk, where you leaned forward and gave her a tired smile. The receptionist returned your smile, though as you were about to open your mouth to say something to her you felt a light hand rested on your shoulder.

 Brows raised in curiosity, you turned around to face none other than Ryan Howard. You could’ve sworn you saw this determined look in his eyes with a big grin, as if he’d just accomplished some enormous feat. Laughing slightly at his newfound confidence, you just tilted your head slightly to the side in curiosity. “Ryan?” you first questioned, your expression reflecting the amusement of the situation.

 “Y/N, hey! I was just wondering if you’d be interested in drinks tonight.” He suddenly insisted, leading you to be taken completely by surprise. You shot a look to Pam before straightening yourself up and shooting him a teasing yet ultimately curious smile.

 Nodding your head slightly, you crossed your arms over your chest in slight interest. “Of course, I’d be interested! But what’s the occasion?”

 Ryan’s smile widened at this, and he exhaled as if this newfound strength within him was just flowing. “You won’t believe this, but I got the job at corporate.” He paused as if he himself were trying to take in the words he’d just spoken. “I’m just… so excited!”

You initially gasped with shock as your eyes widened, a slight laugh escaping your lips. “Wow, Ryan! That is amazing, congratulations! I am so proud of you.” You paused for a moment, blinking as you studied his expression. You shook your head in amazement. “Wow,” came your breathy laugh as you looked at him with your remaining disbelief.

 The man nodded his head, quickly fixing his tie as he caught on to the gaze the two of you had maintained. He quickly cleared his throat, flashing a quick smile though dismissing your excitement for the time being. You realized it as well, to which you broke his gaze and for a moment also cleared your throat. Finally, your gaze wandered back up to him, to which your excitement dwindled slightly.

 “So,” he began slowly, “eight-thirty work for you?”

 You nodded, “eight-thirty sounds perfect. See you then, Ryan.”

 Ryan took a step back and went to grab his coat, to which he quickly checked his watch and nodded. “Later, L/N,” he dismissed, exiting out the door. You simply inhaled sharply as you couldn’t suppress your smile, to which Pam eagerly teased you about it. Though you wouldn’t lie, there was just something about Ryan that was different today. Whether it was good or bad, you would have yet to find out.

-

Despite Scranton’s humble populations, even the most local of bars managed to fill up to their limit on Friday nights. The blaring music was trampled by the loud conversations, though it hadn’t been a concern to either of you. Although, when you’d finally made it to the bar, you’d found there was only one barstool left, to which Ryan insisted you take. Of course, the two of you went back and forth for the time being until Ryan reluctantly took the seat, to which you only slightly rubbed in his face with a beaming grin.

 Your time at the bar was short-lived, however. One drink for the both of you before there was a mutual agreement to ditch this place and head to an old diner situated a few miles out from the bar. The old diner had a sort of old charm to it, you’d always thought. There had been several nights you’d gone here just for a sort of pick-me-up whenever those particularly hard days hit you. Sometimes you’d come here with Pam, once with Michael and a few others in the office, and now with Ryan. You had to admit, coming to a favorited place that you’d typically frequented alone with a friend had a warm feeling to it, something almost bittersweet. Ryan was leaving, but at least he was having a warm goodbye.

 Sure, you were obviously happy about his new job. Anyone should be happy about it. It was a significant raise and it seemed to be an excellent confidence booster for Ryan. Not that Ryan had particularly needed it, it just really helped to push him to make some bold choices that he most likely wouldn’t have made otherwise.

 Yet, you just couldn’t shake off the few feelings of uncertainty you felt regarding his reassignment. Anyone would be sad for a friend leaving, you told yourself, but the words just hadn’t sounded convincing enough. Overall you were proud of him, but there had been just a little feeling gnawing in the back of your mind as if there was something you needed to say. Not only that but that this would be your only shot at it.

Shuffling down to the booth seat, you placed your purse next to you as Ryan slid into the seat adjacent to you. He flashed you a quick smile before taking the menu and adjusting his possessions. You thanked the waitress before clearing your throat, only to notice Ryan’s quite intense fixation on his phone. You raised a brow in curiosity, giving him a look of wonder but it expectedly went without notice.

 In a fluster, Ryan placed his phone elsewhere, to which you then heard a distinct ringing that instead became a muffled buzzing. He nervously laughed, a clear countenance of slight distress on his features as he pursed his lips together. “So, I broke up with Kelly today,” the former temp outright started, forcing a laugh out as his phone continued to consistently ring.

 As much as you wanted to find amusement in this situation to lighten the conversation, you only furrowed your eyebrows together in concern and slight confusion. “Oh no! Ryan, I’m so sorry to hear that. That must be devastating. Are you doing alright? And is that…” You trailed off for a moment, motioning to the phone as Ryan helplessly tried to silence the wrath that poured through its screen. The waitress came by with two glasses and filled each with water, though not without sending Ryan a look before departing.

 He laughed again, shuffling in his seat before crossing the arms over his chest. “Yeah, no, no, it’s alright,” his tone was extremely cautious. “I’ve been meaning to do it for a while. And I mean, I cherished what… we had, but I think now that my life’s straightening out, I need to focus on obtaining what I really want in life.” Ryan pursed his lips again, puffing his cheeks out in slight embarrassment as the phone continuously buzzed at him. “And, yes. 63 missed calls since I last checked.” He shook his head. “I’m probably not going to check again anytime soon.”

 You nodded slowly at his comment, trying to withhold your amusement at his flagrant embarrassment with the situation. It really wasn’t that bad, you didn’t mind. Something about his need to perfect the situation really did brighten your night nonetheless. You appreciated his efforts.

 There was a moment of silence where the phone ceased its ringing. Out of amazement, you gasped at Ryan with clear amusement in your eyes and Ryan gave you a nervous thumbs up, only until the buzzing started up again. The poor man sighed deeply, bringing his hands to his face and rubbing his face with them in exhaustion. Once lowering them, he looked up at you and simply said, “Again, I am so so sorry.”

“Ryan,” you couldn’t properly get your words across without laughing lightheartedly. “It’s really alright. I don’t mind.” You paused for a moment, just basking in the fact that this moment was even occurring. “But you should really call her back. It wouldn’t be fair to leave her hanging like that. Just to say goodbye.”

 Ryan winced slightly at your suggestion but nodded somewhat distractedly, sighing. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I will sometime, but… I’m just saying Y/N, if I die, I’m totally blaming it on you. All of it.” He teased, his smile stretching across his lips.

 Your eyes widened in shock, though you burst out with a laugh as you shook your head. “That is cruel, Howard! You can’t do that to me. Michael would kill me. Or Dwight would do it for him. Either way, cruel!” your voice proclaimed dramatically, earning Ryan’s clear amusement. He just beamed at your playful humor, though for a moment you felt a different type of look within his eyes.

 “Exactly.” Ryan confidently remarked, smirking towards you as you playfully gasped. “You know,” he began slowly, swallowing a bit uncomfortably. His smile fell slightly, but whatever he was about to say seemed like it was from the heart. “I’m gonna really miss these talks, Y/N.”

 You nodded, your eyes wandering around the diner as you sighed. You frowned for a moment but quickly returned your focus to the man in front of you. “Me too, Ryan. It’ll be different. But on the bright side, I am sure you’ll have a blast in New York!” You paused with a mischievous look glimmering in your eyes. “And don’t talk like I’m dead yet. We can still visit on the weekends. It’s only a two-hour drive.” Your point stood out clear to Ryan as he nodded slowly, considering it. The man shrugged lightly.

 “Yeah, I guess so. It just won’t be the same.” A short sigh escaped his lips as he rubbed his hands together, lowering his arms down to his side before glancing up to you with a close-lipped smile. Something had been on his mind – surely the big transfer, but you’d really hoped this talk would’ve helped him through it. Silence engulfed the two of you, only for it to take a moment for Ryan to realize that the buzzing menace had come to an end.

 “Guess the talking distracted us from it! Enjoy it while it lasts, Howard,” you teased, seeing the poor ex-temp’s absolute delight and relief from the break you two were miraculously granted from the heavens.

 He laughed. “Will do!”

 The night played out charmingly as the two of you constantly spoke over what ended up only being milkshakes, which somehow led to the most playful topics you’ve had with Ryan for a while. It was really tonight that you realized how much you appreciated his presence and how different everything would be without him. You would miss Ryan Howard, and you didn’t doubt that fact for a second.

 Something still seemed to linger between the two of you despite all the ground you’d covered and neither seemed to have the courage to even remotely discuss it. Instead, you found humor to cope with this and Ryan greatly appreciated it. You assumed Kelly or this new job had been on his mind, or even moving and making new acquaintances. There was a lot to be worried about and frankly, you didn’t blame him. There was just this innate part of you that genuinely cared for him and wanted everything for him to turn out right, for Ryan to be happy. It was the same feeling you’d felt the first few times you’d talked with him in the break room. The feeling that twisted your heart, impairing your ability to think, and just made you feel like an enthralled love-struck fool. Whatever it was, you didn’t want to lose that feeling. And perhaps that’s what frightened you the most.

 The night hours were wrapping up and few lingered in the diner, the waitress having nudged you with your bill to which you suggested to be split, but Ryan emphatically insisting he covered it. You didn’t want it to end, as foolish as that sounded. You wished you could’ve been here, talking with him so much longer about everything – about the story in the break room, or his terrible calls with Michael, or the party of his roommate’s that he was convinced never happened but his roommate convinced him totally happened (he had one too many drinks that night). You didn’t care what it was about, you just wanted to be there with Ryan. To be with him and his presence.

 You scooted over from your booth and swung your legs to the side as to stand up, leaning down to gather your belongings. Ryan did the same, and an uncomfortably thick silence stung the both of you. He had this look on his face of undeniable regret, with his lips tightly pursed and his forehead wrinkling. You gave him a weakened smile, to which he nodded in reply. His phone buzzed one last time, to which you lightly laughed.

 “Of course,” you teased him, “you couldn’t end the night without it.”

 He chuckled.

  You shuffled your feet slightly, glancing at the clock behind his head before avoiding his gaze momentarily. “Um, I just wanted to make sure you’re all good. You got everything you need?” You lifted your eyes to look up at Ryan, who returned the gaze hesitantly.

 “You mean other than you?” Instantly as the words escaped his lips, he swallowed roughly, breaking the gaze and turning his figure to the side. Your heart immediately soared in your chest, pounding out of control although your face presented shock and the exact opposite reaction that your mind currently processed. Ryan finally looked back at you and shook his head, his brows pressed downwards as he picked up the message. “I’m… I am so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to say that.”

 You shook your head, your lips tightly pursed though you were on the verge of biting them. “No, no! I, uh, I really appreciate it, Ryan. That was sweet.” You gave him a warm smile before gently patting him on the shoulder, to which Ryan lightly smiled at although his embarrassment became dominant. “Again, I’m really going to miss you, Ryan.”

 He nodded in agreement, a slight disappointment befalling his features. “Me too. I mean, I’m going to miss you, Y/N. We’ve got to call, though, alright?” He insisted, placing a hand on top of yours on his shoulder. Immediately your breath became caught in your throat as you only nodded, the edges of your lips tugging into a smile.

 “Alright,” you agreed, pulling your hand away before pulling him into a warm embrace. Ryan lowered his hand and firmly hugged back. The two of you pulled apart, to which you finally convinced yourself to say, “Goodnight, Ryan. Good luck in New York!” You wished cheerfully, sending the man off.

 In reply, the man smiled back and finished, “Night.” Though with those words as you turned around, his expression became tight and concerned. Ryan sharply inhaled, taking a sudden impulsive step forwards that he knew he wouldn’t regret. He held up a hand, waving towards you as he called out,

“Wait, Y/N!”

 With sudden perplexity, you turned around to face him with no questions asked. You could only send him a look of bewilderment mixed with your lingering bittersweet feelings that Ryan took no notice of as he made this decision. His steps were hasty, uncalculated, and he quickly advanced towards with a confident stride that only his heart could praise as right.

 Ryan gently met your eyes with his own and slipped his hand behind the back of your head, leading your lips to meet his own. Your heart soared – you were filled with the charming scents of love and fulfillment; the heat of your face was nothing compared to the warmth and delicacy of his touch. You willingly leaned in towards his kiss, to which he repaid with equal passion and love he had been wanting to pour out all of this time. The kiss was short-lived but sweet and passionate. You were smiling like a buffoon, and you knew it.

 He couldn’t stop smiling either, but lightly he took your hand in his own and proposed,

 “Would you be my girlfriend?”

 And suddenly, you thought, two-hours wouldn’t be such a long time after all.

[mychemicalimagines]

Happens Like That- Jim Halpert-Chapter 1

Summary: Jim Halpert and Melissa Ford have been best friends since he started at Dunder Mifflin in 1999. Now that a camera crew is following the employees around so they can film a documentary, do they finally tell each other their feelings? Or do they just let them go? Either way, what will become of these two best friends? 

Warnings: Cussing and Smut in later chapters.

Words: 2780

Tag List: @you-a-southpaw-doll @elskinner45 @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl

A/N:I have NOT watched every single episode of The Office. Certain episodes will not have EVERYTHING that was done in the show and things might be wrong. Also Melissa Model Gifs are Sophia Bush...Her hair style and length will change. I look for her facial expression when I pick them. Please do not tell me this in the comments. There will be no Pam/Jim.

If you have any questions just message me. If you want to be tagged please send an ask or message me.

Pilot Episode 

No-One’s P.O.V.

Michael Scott walks into Dunder Mifflin Paper Products, a camera crew following along behind him. Everyone was informed a camera crew would be there so they can do a documentary on a Paper Products and their employees.

Michael smiles at the camera. “I’ve been at Dunder Mifflin for 12 years. The last four as Regional Manager. If you want to come through here…” He opens the door and walks through it, where two girls are sitting, Melissa Ford and Pam Beesley.

“So, this is my kingdom. As far as the eye can see. This is our receptionist, Pam Pam! Pam-Pam!” He says, doing an impression of Bam-Bam from The Flintstones, banging on the counter of the desk. “Pam Beesley. Pam has been with us forever. Right, Pam?” He asks, glancing, briefly, at the camera then back to the two girls.

“Um...well...I don’t know.” Pam says, looking at Melissa, then the camera, and finally at Michael.

“If you think she’s cute now, you should have seen her a few years ago!” 

Pam’s eyes widen at his comment. “What?”

Michael, however, doesn’t answer her. Instead, he just looks straight at the camera.

“This is Melissa. Mel. Melly. Melly Belly!” He chuckles, gesturing to Melissa. “Melissa Ford here is my personal assistant. Pam is getting married soon, so Mel here will becoming both assistant and receptionist.” Melissa smiles slightly at his words. “She’s been my assistant for 4 years and you were the regional manager assistant for…?”  Taking the cue to answer his train of thought, Mel nods and goes to speak, only to have him cut her off before she can. “Don’t care. You’re my assistant now. So, ladies any messages?”

“Um...yeah. Just a fax.” Pam replies, pulling a piece of paper off the fax machine and handing it to Michael.

“Pam! This is from Corporate. How many times have I told you? There’s a special filing cabinet.” He says, and looks up at Pam and Melissa.

“You...you haven’t told me…” Pam tries to say.

“What filing cabinet?” Melissa asks, looking confused.

“It’s called the waste paper basket!” He crumbles the paper up and throws it over their heads. They both look confused and shocked, which just has Michael laughing, and exclaiming, “Look at their faces!” before he walks away from the desk.

Melissa’s P.O.V.

I look at Pam and whisper, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to him.”

I look back at the computer screen she and I both share. About ten minutes later, one of our corporate leaders comes in, Jan Levinson-Gould. I quickly stand up.

“Hello, Jan!”

“Hello, Melissa, Pam.” She replies, smiling slightly.

“Michael is in his office.” I say.

“Thank you. Melissa, can you bring the agenda, please? And, Pam? I would like you to take notes.”

 With this, she turns and walks to Michael’s office. I reach over to the side of my desk and grab the planner. I hand Pam a notebook before we walk to Michael’s office and take a seat. 

“Was there anything you wanted to add to the agenda?” Jan asks Michael, who just bites his lip and rubs his thighs as he shifts in his seat.

“Umm...me no get an agenda.” He says.

“What? I’m sorry?” She says, clearly confused.

“I didn’t get an agenda.”

“I faxed you one this morning.” Jan says, glancing at Pam and I.

“Really?!? I didn’t...Did we get a fax this morning?” Michael asks, looking at us.

“Uh...ye-” Pam tries to tell him, but he just cuts her off.

“Why isn’t it in my hand?” He demands, looking at Pam before averting his gaze to Jan. “A company runs on the efficiency of communication, right? So, what’s the problem, Pam? Melissa? Why didn’t I get it?”

Pam and I both share a look before I look back at Michael and explain why he doesn’t have a copy in his hand.

“You put it in the garbage can since that was ‘the special filing cabinet’.” 

“Yeah. That was a joke.” He tries to say, but he chuckles a little. “That was a joke. That was actually my brother’s and it was bills. It doesn’t work with faxes.”

After that, Jan offers to let him use her paper, and they begin talking about downsizing the company. I look at Pam and swallow deeply. Oh no.  About an hour later, I look up as I hear the scraping of a ruler on a desk. Dwight is using his ruler to push Jim’s papers back onto his own desk. 

Dwight Schrute is the Assistant to the Regional Manager. I’m the Regional Manager’s Assistant. Dwight likes to remind me at least once a week that there is a difference. To me, they’re the same, but just worded differently.  I just don’t do any sales calls like Dwight does.

Jim Halpert is one of the top sales people here at the company. He is also my best friend. He and I are always pulling pranks on Dwight. The main reason is to get a rise out of Dwight. Jim rolls his eyes and finishes his sales call, before he looks at Dwight.

“Your papers are on my desk!” Dwight huffs in explanation,  still pushing the papers back on to Jim’s desk. 

“It’s not on your desk!” Jim replies.

“It’s overlapping. Its spilling over the side!” Dwight says loudly, finally getting the piles of papers onto Jim’s desk.

Jim just rolls his eyes and stands up. He walks straight over to me.

“Melissa, you wouldn’t happen to... you know...have a pack of pencils?” Jim says, smirking.

“Well...James, as a matter of fact, I do have a pack of pencils,” I say, and open the drawer to my right. “They’re unsharpened, though.”

“Well, if you could, could you help me sharpen them?” He asks.

I smirk and pull out two sharpeners, handing one to Jim. For the next ten minutes or so, Jim and I sharpen about 20 pencils. He takes the pencils, kisses my head and walks back to his desk. 

Pam turns to me and says quietly, “You like him!”

“What?” I giggle, nervously, “Nooo!”

“Yessss,” Pam says smiling and pokes my side.

“Alright, alright!” I giggle and nod. “I do!”

Pam smirks and leans back into her chair and crosses her arms, “Since when?”

I blush and look away, mumbling my answer.

“What was that, Miss Ford?” Pam smiles, and crosses her legs.

“Since the day he started?” I glance at her.

“Wait? Really?”

I nod and giggle.

I’ve always had a crush on Jim. He started about a year after I did and when the old RM hired him I just knew he’d be the one for me. I’ve been too nervous to do anything about it. I just became his best friend. 

He’s so sweet and funny. He’s always been so nice to me. I’ve always wondered why he hasn’t had a girlfriend since working here. I look up as I hear a desk moving. Jim moves his desk just enough to fit the pencils between the desks.

Dwight must have went to the bathroom. He has already taped most of the pencils, sharp side up, on his work phone and I think on his mug. He manages to get about 6 or 7 pencils in between the desks when Dwight walks back over. 

“You can’t do that!” Dwight exclaims, sitting back down. 

“Why not?” Jim asks, looking over at him then leans back into his chair.

“Safety Violation. I could fall and pierce an...organ.” Dwight says, hesitantly.

“We’ll see,” Jim says, crossing his fingers.

Dwight glares slightly then grabs his phone and start slamming it down on the pencils so they fall to the floor. Jim smirks and glances up at me. I giggle to myself. I glance behind Jim as Michael exits his office. 

He walks straight to Pam and I’s desk. “Pam...messages?” 

I stand up, not caring about the messages that I’ve been staring at for twenty minutes. I walk past Jim’s desk, messing up his hair as he takes a sales call. He looks up and smiles at me. I wink and walk to the break room. 

I start making a fresh pot of coffee and reach into a cabinet getting my favorite coffee cup that I stashed in there. I hear the door open and looks over. Jim walks in smiling.

“Hey,” He says, walking closer and leans against the counter.

“Hey!” I smile.

“So...are we still on for a movie and Chinese tonight?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It is Friday...so...” I smirk, looking toward the coffee machine as it beeps.

“Just making sure. I was thinking we could watch that new movie ‘The Longest Yard’?” 

“Sure! Should I wear a football jersey?” I tease. “Remember! It’s at your house this week!”

“I know, I know.” he chuckles.

I fill my coffee cup and Jim walks me toward the door. Just as we walk out of the breakroom, Michael walks out of his office. 

He cups his mouth, calling out, “Attention all Dunder Mifflin employees! We have a meeting in the conference room ASAP!” 

Jim and I glance at each other and sigh. I walk over and place my cup on Jim’s desk, and steal a piece of paper along with one of the pens he has. He places his hand on my lower back and ushers me into the conference room. 

We walk straight to the back into our usual area. I sit down in the chair Jim pulls out for me. He leans against the wall right behind my chair. Ever since he started here, and we became best friends, this is how our meetings would be. 

Unless there’s more chairs, and he can sit next to me with his arm behind me, lightly resting against my upper back, he just stands behind me. Everyone piles into the room and I lean back in my chair. 

Jim leans down and whispers, “I bet this has something to do with the message you sent me this morning.” 

I nod in agreement; he’s probably right. After the last person sits down, Michael walks in and stands in front of the room. 

“Now I know there’s some rumors out there, and I just kind of want to set the record straight.” He says.

Dwight stand up and walks straight to Michael, “I’m Assistant Regional Manager, I should know first.” 

Michael sighs, “Assistant TO THE Regional Manager.” 

I sigh before looking up at Jim and mouthing, “1,846.” 

He nods to me but shakes his head. Since Dwight was promoted, Jim started helping me keep track of how many times Dwight has said he was Assistant Regional Manager. When he was promoted, Michael even said he was just Assistant to the Regional Manager. I look back at Michael and Dwight.

“Okay. Um..Can you tell me please? Just tell me quietly. Can you whisper it in my ear?” Dwight says, leaning toward him.

“I’m about to tell everybody. I’m just about to tell everybody,” Michael says, irritated.

One of the accounting guys, Oscar, says “Can’t you just tell us?”

“Please. Okay. Do you want me to tell them?” Dwight says.

Michael laughs, “You don’t know what it is!”

“Okay you tell them with my permission.” He says, stepping back. 

“He doesn’t need your permission, Dwight.” I say, shaking my head.

“Thank you, Mel,” Michael says, smiling at me.

Dwight glare slightly. “I’m Assistant Regional Manager. You’re just the Regional Manager’s Assistant. Shut up.” 

I roll my eyes.

“She knows what this meeting is about. So you shut up.” Jim says.

I smile up at Jim. He winks at me. 

Michael looks at Dwight. “He’s not wrong. Anyway! Corporate has deemed it appropriate to enforce an ultimatum upon me. And Jan is thinking about downsizing either the Stamford branch or this branch.”

Oscar speaks up after a second, “Yeah...but...Michael, what if they downsize here?” 

Everyone starts asking if they do downsize here and what they should do. I look up at Jim. He looks down at me and sighs.

He starts rubbing my back and whispers, “Don’t worry. We got this.”

Michael starts lying out his ass then ends the meeting.

Noone’s POV

  The camera crew stops Jim and has him come back into the conference room for an interview. He smiles at Melissa who goes back to her and Pam’s desk where she starts looking at her emails. Jim sits down and one of the camera guys ask him a question.

“If I left, what would I do with all this useless information in my head? You know? Tonnage price of manila folders? Umm... Melissa’s favorite flavor of yogurt..which is vanilla.”

It cuts to Jim looking over at Melissa from his desk and there she is, eating her vanilla yogurt.

Next Melissa is sitting in the conference room a little while later.

“Jim said Vanilla?” She laughs. “He probably knows me better than anyone else.”

Melissa’s POV

I walk out of the bathroom when I hear Dwight bitching again. I sigh and look over. I see Dwight’s stapler in a thing of Jello. I smirk and walk over to my desk. Last night Jim came over and we did this prank together...again. 

We’ve done this multiple times but Dwight never suspects me. I look over to see Dwight talking to Michael and the New Temp while Jim eats one of the Jello packs he stole from my house.

I giggle, look back down and start playing Solitaire on the computer. After Michael makes dessert jokes, Jim walks over to me. 

“What time are you coming over?” He asks, leaning on the desk.

“Umm. 6:30?” I ask, looking up at him.

“That’s fine with me.” He says. “I’ll order the food as soon as I get home.”

“Great! I’ll stop and get the movie and change.”

Before Jim can reply, Michael steps out of his office.

“Melissa. Can you come here please?”

I look up at Jim confused, but I stand up and walk straight to Michaels office.

“Yes, Michael?” I ask, taking a seat in the chair next to him.

“So, umm...as you know, we might be downsizing. And Jan says we gotta start with you. I know you’ve been here for awhile but it’s time to pack your desk.” Michael says, and looks down, but I can see him watching me from the corner of his eye.

“Alright. Bye!” I stand up.

“Wait! You’re being X Punked! It was all Ryan’s idea!” Michael points to the New Temp. 

I glance over. “Wait? I’m not fired?”

Michael shakes his head. “No! What would I do without my hot assistant?! You’re never getting fired!”

I sigh to myself. “Damn. Thanks Michael.”

“You’re very welcome, Melissa.” Michael smiles. “Can you send Pam in?”

“Sure!” I walk out. “Pam. Michael needs to see you.”

Pam looks confused but walks around the desk, over to us.

I stop her for a second and whisper. “Don’t believe him. He’s lying. Just cry alright?” 

Pam nods and walks into Michael’s office, closing the door. I look at Jim who is looking confused. I kneel down.

“Michael tried to pull a prank saying I was fired, but I was gonna walk.” I whisper.

He nods. “Gotcha. What did I hear about ‘hot assistant’?”

“He said ‘what would I do without my hot assistant?’ Apparently I’m never getting fired.”

He laughs. “What can I do to become a hot assistant?”

“Get a hotter ass.” I smirk and stand up, then walk to my desk when Pam walks out. She has tears falling down her face. She smirks at me and walks over. 

“Thanks for the heads up. I made him cry a little.” 

I wink and look at the time. It’s now 5 o’clock and everyone but Jim and I were leaving. We notice the camera crew was still there. They weren’t leaving until everyone else officially leaves. 

Jim shrugs and waves the camera over. “Come on.” 

He grabs a plate from his desk that has a towel covering it. We walk into Michael’s office and Jim lays the plate on the desk and uncovers it. It has Michael’s World’s Best Boss mug in a thing of orange jello.

“So that’s where the extra box went!” I say, giggling. 

Jim smirks. “Let’s go.” 

We both walk to our own desks and grab our coats. I grab my purse and walk with Jim to the door. He opens it for me and then places his hand on my lower back, walking me to my car.

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Haven DVD Commentaries; 5.05 - The Old Switcheroo (Part I)

Notes on the commentary with Adam Copeland (Dwight), Adam Higgs (Writer), and Bian Millikin (Executive Story Editor). Officially this commentary is just with the two Adams, but Brian is there as well (setting up the equipment??) and joins in after a while. 

(It is possible I’ve mixed Brian and Adam Higgs up sometimes, sometimes all the different voices blur together a bit in my head. Adam Copeland’s is easier to separate because his is more familiar.)

AH: We’re going to give a shout out to Cindy McCreery and Scott Shepherd who wrote these two episodes (we’re just talking about 505 right now, but we’ll get to 506 in a bit), and they sadly couldn’t be with us today but we’re going to do our best. AC: This is very important to the Havenites; pancakes. And the fact that they are not enjoyed [by Mara] which is very strange because Audrey loves her pancakes, but Mara doesn’t. AH: Do you like pancakes? AC: I devour pancakes. Some call me the master of pancakes. Yeah I’m like Paul Bunyan. AH: What do you put in a pancake? AC: Well I usually just buy them because I would butcher it, and I know that going in.

AC: That is the Grey Gull. AH: And it’s a grey day. AC: Which in Nova Scotia is not necessarily that strange, but a beautiful place, one of my favourite places and favourite sets. I actually contemplated buying the Grey Gull because it’s for sale. But I think there’s no plumbing, or no toilet. AH: That would be a bit of a difficulty. AC: Yeah. So that was my reason for not buying the Grey Gull. What do you think about that Brian Millikin? BM: I think that was a smart investment move on your part. AC: That’s Brian Millikin, sitting in the rafters. AH: There’s Manteo. Who do we know who has ties to North Carolina? Brian Millikin, maybe you and Nick Parker (another illustrious writer on the show)? BM: I love the way North Carolina looks just like Nova Scotia. AH: Yes, we did not actually go to North Carolina to shoot these episodes. AC: If we had it would have been closer to my home in Ashville, so it would have been a lot easier for me. AH: We should have just shot at your house.

AC: Ah, Richard Donat, aka Vince Teagues, one of my favourite men that I’ve ever met. Such a quiet and strong presence on set. He pretty much just rocks. I’ve been told that’s what I will look like when I’m his age. AH: Maybe it’s time travel. You’re a younger version of Richard, sent from the past? Or the future? AC: Yeah. It could be the case. That could be a spoiler alert. *laughs all round* AC: OK. It’s not. But it could be! Who knows; Dwight Teagues. I just heard all your minds blowing out there, Havenites. AH: Well there is a lot in this season; we’ve got a lot of father/son dynamics between the two  of you. Maybe it could explain it. AC: It could explain all of it. AH: Both leaders of the Guard at different times. I’m just saying. AC: Yeah, the alpha male, banging of heads. We both have large craniums. You know, it could fit. AH: I like this theory.

AC: North Carolina was a nice change of pace, to take it out of Maine. AH: I haven’t been on the show very long, but Brian Millikin who has, and is still sitting in the rafters, how many times have we left Haven on the show? BM: I’m going to go ahead and say this is the second time ever. We went to Boston at the beginning of season four. AC: Brian was actually on a swing hanging from the rafters of the building, and he’s now hopped off so he’s back with us.

[As we see Vince and Dave switching bodies] AC: This is one of my favourite bits actually, because John Dunsworth (Dave) and Richard are just amazing, and I love them both. So to see them inhabit each other’s characters was fun. AH: And this was a nice episode too, because one of the things we wanted to do was give them a bit of a spotlight epsiode. We never get to spend as much time as we want to with the brothers Teagues and we decided, well let’s do it - let’s have them drive a plot and have fun with it.

[As Vince knocks his head on the doorframe in the cafe] AH: I love that gag. We had so much fun with the height thing when we were coming up with this episode. AC: But it makes total sense, that’s the great part of it. If you were that tall and suddenly you’re in a frame … you know because Richard is 6’3”, 240 pounds; he’s a huge man. And John is, not. [As Gloria comes up to talk to Vince in Dave’s body] AC: Ah, I love Jayne Eastwood, I love Gloria. This is a combination I’d been dying to see together, just because of the comedic talent involved. These two, they’re comedic … we’ll I’ll say legends, in Canada. Both so funny, so I was really looking forward to that short interaction. AH: And it’s been fun, it’s the miscommunications and it’s very much a farce kind of episode. Besides the murder and death. AC: Besides the choking and murdering and psychiatric wards, you know. AH: And this is not the first time we’ve been to the Freddy. I look again to Brian Millikin who has moved down from the rafters. BM: This is the first time since season one, episode three. AC: Wow, you are a fountain of Haven knowledge my friend. BM: I have been here since the very beginning. AC: A veritable fountain. BM: I’m going to cut in though for a second, I’ll say this much; as someone who has been here from the very beginning, the body swap idea for an episode is sort of the low-hanging fruit for any genre show, any supernatural show will eventually get there. And we always knew that we were going to have to do it at some point in time. People were asking, they asked at comic book conventions and they asked on twitter. They asked in the street. When are you going to do it? Primarily because of Duke and Nathan. They have history with each other, they’re both great characters, strong actors. It just made sense that they would have to switch places at some point. Especially because Nathan can’t feel anything. But we just needed a time, like we needed the story to make sense. We didn’t want to do it just to do it, we wanted there to be a reason, so it did feel like we were just doing the thing. Like, our groundhog day episode is another low-hanging fruit of a genre show but it felt like it really fit in the moment because of the story we were telling. So we were super-lucky that this one came into play. We knew that we were going to do this Vince and Dave road trip, but we needed to tie what they were doing to what was going on in Haven. And that’s where we started thinking, now we can do the body swap. And then, we didn’t want to just do Vince and Dave, we didn’t want to just do Nathan and Duke, we wanted to somehow work in Dwight. We were like, who do we do? We can’t do Mara, because she’s immune to the Troubles. So who else is there. And then we were like; oh my god. We now have Jayne Eastwood, we added her last year. So we were like; what if we swapped Dwight and Gloria? And as soon as that came out of someone’s mouth, our showrunners Matt and Gab were like, So we’re definitely doing that; we’re doing this episode, and that’s happening before the Nathan/Duke swap. And as soon as we landed on that, there was no turning back. [As we see the swapped Dwight and Gloria walk up to each other, Gloria checking out her new face in the mirror] AC: This was an interesting shot, because Eric Cayla our DP was on a handheld and had to whip around and follow me, so the timing on that was really interesting. BM: You were so good in this episode. AC: This was my favourite ad lib. AH: I love that. BM: So funny. AC: That was an ad lib, no one knew that I was going to grab my crotch, but thankfully they went down with me and I saw they went down and I thought; OK good, I hope they use that take. And they did. BM: Now, I heard a rumour, I don’t know if it’s true but as soon as we heard it we were like; I hope it’s true. Because we heard that you went back and watched episodes of Haven that she was in, to sort of learn her tricks. AC: I did. I watched all of her scenes. I tried to stand like her and pick up her mannerisms BM: You can tell. AH: Yeah, all those funny little touches. AC: The way that she’s just kind of over it. And her kind of sarcastic nature. But after watching her episodes, I tried to relate her to a male actor who I could then watch and see how a man would do it. BM: Such a good idea. AC: And so she was De Niro from Meet the Parents. BM: Yeah! AC: So then I watched Meet The Parents, and I watched how De Niro acted. And I tried to take her stance with hands on hips and slouched forward a little bit, and tried to maintain that posture throughout, which was … I did forget sometimes. But this was a lot of fun when I found out this was going to be happening. I knew the comedic potential on this. Which up until this point as Dwight, I haven’t really had the ability to show. BM: Yeah, a couple jokes but that’s it. AC: Yeah, so I was really looking forward to sinking my teeth into this because I don’t know if anyone really knew if I had comedy in me. And in WWE initially my character was all comedy. So it was nice to be able to dip back into that. [As Nathan is getting Mara out of the bronco] BM: Well look and even in the background of this shot right there [Adam in his hands on hips stance] AC: Yeah she would stand sometimes with her hands on her lower back, so I really just tried to watch everything that she would do. BM: Well, we just got such a kick out of watching it. Or even writing it. Because this was the only one where it was a gender swap also. And a real age swap. You know, Duke and Nathan are the same age. So, this was really going for it. And you crushed it. I remember when the dailies would come in and we would just pause what we were doing in the writing room and we would just put them up and watch them. We were just having so much fun with it. AC: Well it was interesting because Dwight as a character is kind of reserved and close to the vest, so it was more of a challenge for Jayne to figure out how to pull of Dwight. Because he’s not very over the top in anything that he does, and that was by design, that’s how I always tried to attack Dwight. So it was a big challenge for Jayne I think because Gloria’s character there’s so much to work with, there’s so much to play with. And with Vince and Dave there’s so much to play with. [On screen Vince is checking the wound on Dave’s leg] That was pretty nasty. Great job by the makeup department. It looked really gross that day too. I was like; that looks disgusting. [As Vince is answering Dave’s phone] Is that a Blackberry? AH: Well this is taking place in the past. What year is this actually in Brian Millikin? BM: This would be the year 2011, going on 2012. AC: OK. BM: Despite the fact that it aired in 2014. AH: And this is something we would constantly have to remind ourselves when we were writing the show, like - wait a minute it’s not 2014, it’s actually … And we’d just all look at Brian. BM: It’s a real problem in serialised TV shows. Like Lost, the first three years took place over 90 days. AC: Wow. And that’s always a challenge too from the performance aspect for the continuity. And also just in each show, because everything’s shot out of sequence. So you’re always questioning, what did we just come from? What did we just do? Why are we here? And that can be a huge thing to keep track of sometimes. And thankfully there’s people on it, as well as you’re supposed to be on it too. But, it can get lost sometimes.

AH: There’s a lot of little humour things, just Mara reading the “Me, Myself & I” schizophrenia brochure. I think in a lot of ways these are probably our most humorous episodes of the season, which was a lot of fun. We can be very grim and gritty some days and just to take a step back and come up with some of the little goofs and gags for what everyone can do once they’re swapped was a lot of fun. AC: Well yeah Haven can be a pretty heavy place, so when you can kind of lighten that weight a little bit it’s nice. [As we see Nathan talking to Audrey in the Freddy] This was a really interesting change for Emily. And you can just see the switch in her eyes which was really great. AH: Yeah credit to her acting there. AC: Because you knew instantly; something just happened. Just from the look in her eyes. AH: Yeah; that’s Audrey not Mara. Which is not an easy thing to do, and she pulled it off. And it became very complicated on the page when we were going, OK so these people are in different bodies but now this is Mara, but Audrey’s come to the surface. And trying to keep that whole piece together was interesting. Brian do you want to tell the story here? Or just give a little insight into the behind the scenes scriptwork that had to be done on the formatting of the scripts here. BM: Oh my gosh, well maybe it showed our level of inexperience with bodyswap episodes from other shows that have done them before; we probably should have looked at them. But one issue that we ran into was that it happened with so many different characters, you know a lot of shows it’ll just be Sam and Dean Winchester from Supernatural or whatever. But we eventually got hold of the Freaky Friday scripts, the original one way back when, just to see how they did it. Because the problem we ran into was that you couldn’t tell from reading the script who was who. We got the script in, and it was great, but at no point could you ever tell what character was saying what to whom or why. And so it was impossible. A script is like a blueprint and you need to be able to read it and know what you’re seeing on screen. And when the actors read it at a table read, they need to be able to know who is who. And it was impossible. Because, when it was you speaking in the scene right now Adam, it would have said Gloria then parentheses Dwight. And then you’re talking to Gloria parentheses Dwight. And it was just like; I don’t know what’s going on here. So we eventually had it just say Dwight in quotation marks. It was important for it to say who it is that you’re looking at, so that you [Adam] knew you’re still reading the Dwight dialogue but we’ve got these quotes around it so you know that’s not quite Dwight. AC: And what was interesting was, Gloria in Dwight’s body, she doesn’t have bad eyes but she instinctively goes to squint. So those were little things that Dwight’s not used to wearing glasses, so just all of those little things that we tried to add in. Gloria’s always so bemused which, I knew it would be so much fun to play her. And it was. BM: That’s amazing. We kind of didn’t know how far to go with some of the gags. Like with the bathroom gag. How much … would she check herself out? What are we doing here? What show are we working on? So I think we went too far and then pulled it back.

AH: I remember the table read for this was a lot of fun. AC: And it was interesting at the table read to see everyone take on the other character and to see the reaction from the other person watching their character and their mannerisms be recreated at this table read. It was actual fun to be a fly on the wall for it. AH: And I don’t know if we’re doing the bloopers this year but some of the stuff between takes were just as fun. Like; I do that? What are you doing? I do that?

[As Gloria in Dwight’s body is finishing up her milkshake] BM: We loved the idea that she was put into like, Captain America’s body. Like a super soldier so she can now just do whatever she wants. At one point we were she was going to be eating doughnuts and stuff in every scene. AH: Every single scene. AC: Thank you for not doing that to me. BM: Pizza. AH: Yeah it was just non stop. Burgers. AC: I think that was actually ice tea that I was slurping because I wanted to do a nice long exaggerated slurp on it. This was a lot of fun to do this episode, it really was. As we’ve talked about because it was such a departure from the norm. And I think a chance for the audience to just take a breath. AH: Yeah because it was about to get heavy. AC: Yeah and you kind of need that small gap to take a breath, reboot, get ready for… AH: And just have some fun with the characters. AC: Yeah. And see a different side of them too.

AH: Now I remember Brian, and fill me in if you recall this stuff too, but in the room we also played a lot with the distance between Haven and North Carolina. BM: Are you asking to insert an apology to people who live on the East coast? Because we make it seem like they can get around a lot faster. The distance between coastal Maine and the outer banks of North Carolina, that’s … you so could not do that in a single day. AC: I’ve driven it. And it’s not a fast drive. There was also debate about how to pronounce Manteo *tries out different possibilities* AH: That’s right. But we had experts in the room, thankfully. AC: Yeah. But there were a few takes where the wrong pronunciation still snuck in. AH: And the other one was Croatoan that we had in this episode as well. Where there was a pronunciation issue. BM: That’s right. It’s a pretty popular local legend down in that part of the world, that’s where I’m from. I had not know that it was … There was a lot of people working on the show who didn’t really know about it. AH: I had not heard about it. And I remember being in the room and everyone talking about it as if it was something everyone should know about. And I think I pretended for the first hour and then opened up the Wikipedia … Ah, I see. BM: We were shooting the last episode before this one, when Croatoan first gets named dropped, when Sleepy Hollow had an episode where they also dealt with it. They go to the lost colony and everything else, and we all slapped our foreheads because we thought we were so clever. So that was very upsetting.

[As Duke and Nathan are talking while Mara is asleep] AC: By the way; Lucas Bryant and those cheekbones. AH: *laughs* full stop. AC: I always bust his chops. AH: The fans love his cheekbones. AC: They do. You could … It’s like climbing a cliff, those cheekbones. Essentially my job, besides being Dwight, was trying to bust Lucas Bryant’s chops BM: It’s an important job. AC: It is, someone had to do it. AH: You guys’re from really close to each other, right? AC: Yeah, we … for the Americans we grew up about 20 miles apart. AH: That’s crazy. AC: Yeah. Unbeknownst to us. We didn’t know. So we obviously hit it off pretty quickly because we both watched Polka Dot Door growing up as a child. All the Canadians will be going whoop whoop. AH: Yeah, the Polka Dot Door! Polkaroo! AC: Polkaroo! *The two Adams start singing what I assume is the theme tune* AC: Casey and Finnegan. The Friendly Giant. The Friendly Giant made us both cry as a matter of fact. Being both sensitive souls, and creative souls as Lucas and I are, we cried during the music for The Friendly Giant. AH: I remember when he passed away, that was very sad. It was a great show. AC: Yeah. *another snippet of song*. There’s so many people right now going; What the hell is he talking about? While we’re on the subject i also loved the Hilarious House of Frankenstein. You’d like it Brian. AH: You would actually. That would be right up your alley. BM: You guys are speaking a different language. AC: Yes. It’s southern Ontarian. AH: Now you know how it feels when you mention Croatoan to a Canadian.

BM: I’m going to add one other comment here. Since we’re looking at Emily Rose as Audrey/Mara. She was one of the other reasons why we did this bodyswap episode. She in a sense for this entire season, got to do that. I think it’s a nice thing to be able to deliver to one of your actors that they (especially in the fifth season of a show) get to play a different character. And we sort of felt, almost a little bad that it was just her. And even the year before with the Lexie/Audrey of it all. And so I think emotionally we wanted to deliver a bodyswap two parter just so that you and Lucas and Eric got to do some of that too. We didn’t want her just to have all the fun. AC: Well it is fun to throw on a different skin after you’ve worn that skin for four or five years. But there’s something uncomfortable about that too, but it’s a nice challenge. And I know Emily had fun with it too. AH: Absolutely, she killed it. AC: Because Mara was so different, and so evil, and so vile. BM: And big, you know? AC: Yes. BM: And she did a great job. AC: Yes. And I know she had a lot of fun with it. And it’s interesting too, although also the challenge of how she was so evil - I think that was a part of the challenge. Because, you know Emily in having to take on this evil character had to say things that were just horrible. Like talking about Dwight’s daughter and all of those things, I know it bothered her. And to be able to step up to the plate and do it, there’s something to be said for that.

AH: And there’s a doughnut! How many doughnuts did you eat? AC: It was about four. And that was the one where I got so deep into it, I knew that ... BM: It’s not easy to get the perfect amount of schmeer. AC: Well that was the one where it was so deep and I was like, I’m going to have to do the rest of the scene with chocolate all over my face. *much laughing over Gloria and Dwight in their swapped bodies* BM: We should have just kept you guys. AC: I think Nathan slash Lucas had a really good time being the straight man for it as well. Because he was the straight man for their interactions a lot of the time. BM: We so wanted to send you guys off to the crime scene. But there was just going to be so many people in those scenes it would have just taken forever, schedule-wise. But we wanted to get you guys in on the action. We wanted it so bad but we couldn’t do it. AC: Well in the morgue we got into some of it, with the mitts fitting the gloves and feeling like she could punch through ceilings. BM: And we wanted her to … or you, but Gloria’s body … to have to chase after a perp, run him down, you know, like an action sequence. Or you have to punch somebody and not know how strong you are. There could be an entire show. AC: Well and then the interesting aspect is, does she know how to throw a punch? Or does Dwight’s body just automatically know how? And there as a performer you go, well which is it? AH: It’s a good question. BM: I think it’s the former, not the latter. I think she would know what to do. It’s a different brain in there. AC: Right? Because it’s a different brain but instinctively, like with the glasses Dwight doesn’t need them but Gloria thought she did so she squinted but then realised she didn’t need to. So I think there would still be a moment of … um BM: I think we just came up with the Haven spinoff by the way. You two swap again; can’t switch back; solve crimes. AH: I would watch that. AC: I could work with Jayne Eastwood for the rest of my life without a doubt. BM: But you have to be swapped with her. AC: Yes. BM: But, we also like you as Dwight so maybe, go back and forth. AC: Yep, but the majority of the time if I got to play that, that would be a whole lot of fun.

[As Gloria and Dwight are on the video call with Vince and Dave] BM: I imagine this was a tough scene to shoot because there was nothing on that screen, right? AC: Yeah, it’s an empty computer. AH: And they add it in in post AC: And your eyeline on the computer has to be right, and all of those - sometimes those technical things are the most difficult becuase you’re acting to nothing.

AC: What’s interesting too is to see how over the seasons and years how everyone has grown. And not just from a character perspective but from a personal perspective. AH: You get to grow up a bit as a family, it’s nice. We were just talking before we came in here about how much older everyone’s kids are getting and everything. AC: Yeah. And well I mean Emily, they had their son. Beth and I we had our daughter. Lucas and Kirsty’s daughter has grown. And just all of the families that have grown or have started since the beginning of this show, it’s pretty incredible. AH: And it’s always interesting when you look at a show that lasts this long, with the crew sometimes relationships have formed, or there are kids because of relationships that have formed, and it’s just amazing to see the community that grows up around a television show. AC: Yeah it always felt good walking on set too. Because there was just a sense of comfort to it.

AC: Jayne really played straight so well. Because playing that straight when you’re someone that’s usually so animated, it’s hard. And she pulled it off, she really restrained her natural kind of … I guess her natural charisma.

[As Duke and Nathan are swapping bodies] AH: And I’m sure everyone at home was just waiting for this to happen. It just had to at some point. AC: And then at this particular moment as well. [As Duke in Nathan’s body realises he can’t feel] AH: And just a little tease of what’s to come with the Troubles not transferring with the soul. AC: This was a really interesting swap to watch, because Eric, Duke, has the same job as Jayne and Gloria had, in that Nathan is a very reserved character. So pulling back, because Duke is very animated, as you’ll see from Lucas’s portrayal of Duke, so it was pretty hilarious. On both sides. AC: The hands, that was what I really noticed. AH: The pointing is my favourite. AC: Yes, and the hands on the hips. And I know for Lucas that was a lot of fun. Because Nathan is a very reserved, stoic, contained character. And Duke is the opposite of that. BM: Yeah. Well, Lucas Bryant is also the opposite of that. AC: Yeah. Yes, Lucas is a complete moron *laughter*, so the fact that he gets to be more animated is much closer to his actual personality. It also goes to show that having acted and worked with someone for that long, how much you just inherently pick up from just spending so much time together as those characters. Even just those things like the delivery … AH: The delivery, the timing. And this was a good idea to have this early conversation between the two of them, just so that you can really see the difference. AC: Yeah, it was fun. And this was actually fun at the table read too. It was also really interesting because you get so used to seeing Duke as Duke, or Eric as Duke and Lucas as Nathan, it was interesting to see them play completely different characters. Like, there were times when I would go out to dinner with some of the crew and they’d see me without the bullet proof vest and be really surprised - because you get so used to it. You know, like; wow you wear real clothes, you don’t walk around in a bullet proof vest, I forgot. So when you inhabit those characters for so long it’s interesting to see all of that get flipped on it’s head. How about that orange house back there by the way? [Behind Eric’s head outside Audrey’s apartment]. AH: It’s kind of a scene stealer. AC: Yeah, right? That’s one of the great things about Nova Scotia too. You’ll have a purple house with seafoam green shutters. Which on paper sounds disgusting, but it works. BM: They pull it off. That house, we actually finally shot outside of it in …. Hmmm I don’t remember. AC: You don’t remember?! *surprised noises from both Adams* Woah. Hold on, record scratch. BM: Was it season three, at some point?

[As Vince in Dave’s body starts to get affected by the thinny] AC: I love that part! Because Vince does that! He would kind of do the tasmanian devil spin to get his mouth going sometimes, and John picked up on that. These two were so needed to the show. And always brought a sense of levity, but every time they popped up on screen I would smile.

AH: Well, thank you for listening and we’re going to be right back doing 506.

[ditty-diego]

Neztalk

An interview with Ken Sharp, 1989

In March, Michael Nesmith spent a couple weeks in New York City doing a series of interviews with the media to promote the New York opening of his latest production, “Tapeheads”. Besides promoting “Tapeheads”, Michael is having one of his most visible, high-profile years in a long, long time, with the recent release of a video and album and the impending release of another album and the “Overview” video magazine. Rock radio reporter (and MBF member) Ken Sharp had the opportunity to interview Michael and he shares that interview with us here:

KS: I know you’re asked this question all the time, so let’s get it out of the way right off. When are you going to get back together with … The First National Band?

MN: Well, yeah, that’s the most common question that I’m asked actually. Most people come up to me and say, “Say, whatever happened to the other guys?” and I know immediately that they’re talking about John London and Red Rhodes and John Ware. I mean, who else would they be talking about?

KS: What is Red Rhodes up to, by the way?

MN: Well, you know, I’ve lost contact with all those guys. John London moved back to Teas. He’s working, I think, in the real estate business or something and Red Rhodes I haven’t talked to. I assume that he still plays. I got a call from one of his family — his ex-sister-in-law — the other day and I called her back and she left the wrong number so I wasn’t able to get in touch with her. And John Ware, I think, moved to Nashville and is working in the radio business in Nashville.

KS: April 5 marks the release of “Nezmusic” …

MN: Oh, really? Is that when it’s coming out?

KS: I think it is. I was curious, some of this stuff came out in different forms, but why now? What was the idea behind compiling it? Were there a lot of requests or what?

MN: Yeah, well, it was just a combination of requests. I get a lot of fan mail from the Monkees fan clubs and stuff. And almost every single letter requests for me to put out the old music. What I did was I went back to the archives and over the years I’ve made a couple of dozen albums, I guess, and the first ten that I made are still under the auspices of RCA, but there were about 4 or 5 that I made subsequent to that beginning with a record called “The Prison”. So Harold Bronson over at Rhino Records called me up and he says, “let’s put out, let’s go back and re-license…” That’s kind of their business, you know, And I said, “Harold, I don’t think anybody’s gonna play any of my records.” And he says, “Well, we specialize in marketing records that don’t get played.” So I compiled two LP’s.  One was an LP which was to be songs from the country sort of era, with the First, Second, Third National Bands, and the second which was to include things off “Radio Engine” and “Infinite Rider” but also half a dozen songs that I wrote for a movie called “Video Ranch”. And divided them up into “The Older Stuff” which was the country stuff and “The Newer Stuff”. So “The Newer Stuff” was the only thing we were able to get out because we had licensing problems on “The Older Stuff”. So we could only get one of them out. And when I put together “The Newer Stuff” I realized that I had music videos on seven or eight of them and I had also been getting a lot of requests to combine all those music videos on one videocassette, so I put it together and called it “Nezmusic”.

KS: Wasn’t “Video Ranch” called something different? “Neon” something?

MN: “Neon Ruby”.

KS: Why was that project not completed?

MN: Well, the biggest reason is that I was not able to interest a distributor in releasing it. That’s the biggest reason. Had I been able to do that it would have gone forward. The creative elements were there, but it’s a movie musical and, like “Tapeheads”, these things are tough. Number one, they’re very hard to do creatively and, number two, they’re hard to market. However, I think we’re about to enter into the time when we’re going to see more and more of those, so keep your fingers crossed. Maybe “Video Ranch” will come out. (laughs)

KS: It’s nice to see unreleased tracks like “Tanya” and “Formosa Diner” will see the light of day.

MN: Did you get a pre-copy of this?

KS: No, I didn’t.

MN: Did you see the liner notes, or what?

KS: No, I’m a pretty big fan, besides what I do for a living, so I did a lot of research.

MN: Sounds like you’ve been on Lexus Nexus or one of those online services.

KS: Will you release any videos for the Rhino early material? Something like “Joanne” that you never did a video for to promote it?

MN: Till you said it I hadn’t thought of it. Maybe it’s a good idea. I don’t know. Do you think it would be a good idea to go back and do old songs? Creatively, do you really? I don’t know, because I think of the video as a form and there is such a thing as an audio-only record. Can you imagine a video of “Joanne”, takes a picture of a beautiful woman in a filmy dress living in a house by a pond? It starts to get kind of dumb. (laughs) The emotion it evokes is different. When I wrote “Rio” I really had a picture in mind, although I didn’t realize at the time that it was gonna father an entire way of life, but I did sort of have in mind that this would make something nice to put on film. Then when Island asked me to make a promotional clip to send overseas and I did it, you know, it all married up nicely. But to go bac and do it … maybe I’ll write some stuff. Best I should do “Video Ranch”, I think.

KS: Do you still write songs? Do you still play the guitar.

MN: Yeah. Not a lot, but I still do it.

KS: Will we see new material from you? Not as an audio album, but as a combination?

MN: Yeah, I’d do that.

KS: There is a demand. I’d love to hear it and so would a lot of other people.

MN: You know, the biggest problem that I have, number one, is that nobody will play these records on the air. I won’t get any airplay. So without airplay making a market for this, it’s very hard and unless you have a Rhino Records behind it that is willing to commit to marketing the record without airplay, you’re in trouble. And also when you’re writing to this kind of form it’s very expensive and kind of a big uphill battle to do unless you really feel like you got some sort of a built-in market.

KS: Don’t you thin country radio stations would embrace your music?

MN: Well, I don’t know. We live in the days of Randy Travis and Dwight Yokum. I don’t think so. I think there’s a different mindset afoot out there.

KS: I hope it still doesn’t dissuade you from making new music.

MN: Maybe I’ll be some young Dwight Yokum’s Buck Owens, how’s that? (laughs)

KS: In 1979 you felt the audio end of schemes was going to be obsolete and in 1982 you closed the record division of Pacific Arts.

MN: Was it ’82? I thought it was earlier than that. Well, that sounds about right.

KS: Now ten years later with CD’s and DAT’s here and music sales at an all-time high, how do you account for that and did that enter in your decision to work with Rhino on releasing stuff.

MN: Well, no, it’s an anomalous bulge. It doesn’t mean that there’s a rebirth of audio-only stuff. I mean, I think you have to look at your own lifestyle and find out, you know, what do you do more of? Do you watch more television or do you listen to more radio? That varies from person to person, but I’ll bet if you took a national statistical average you’d find more people watch more television than they listen to radio. Simple. OK, start with that as a point of departure. Why did CD’s suddenly take off? Well, number one, it was exceptional sound quality. Number two, it was a very accessible and easy user-friendly medium, and, number three, you’re able to go back and hear stuff that you’d loved for a period of time but you’d basically worn your records out. So you drew from a huge catalog, a great library of material with people who were replenishing and restocking their early audio times. But these are people who grew up on audio. Now let’s shift to the 9-year-old, to the 8-year-old who is going to be 20 in the year 2000. What kind of equipment will this person have? Will they have a CD? Yes. What can a CD do that an audio record can’t? Well, it can play pictures. You’re seeing go into place the technological base for this video revolution and I still stand by my original statement that the audio medium is going to diminish and diminish and diminish and diminish until audio-only will occupy a very small part of the overall — what do you want to call it — entertainment spectrum. It’s like network television. Network television, look at the shrinking share. Are you familiar with these statistics?

KS: Go ahead, please.

MN: Well, I’m not so familiar with them that I can quote them with complete accuracy, but it’s something to the degree that it’s gone from a 93% share in the mid-‘70’s or early ‘70’s of the total homes using television to somewhere around 60% and one point represents millions of people. But you have to look at that they’ve lost, what, thirty, forty MILLION viewers? They’ve lost it. You also have to look at what videocassette has done to the redefinition of prime time television. Videocassettes are prime time television. And what it says is prime time television is not at 9:00. Prime time television is 2:31 in the morning, it’s 6:17 in the evening, it’s 12:11 in the afternoon, it’s whenever the consumer wants to put the videocassette in and watch it. Now you have an interested consumer, aware of what they’re watching with a high desire to view. That’s prime time television and videocassettes have simply robbed the network television market. Those are the sort of changes that you can’t overlook when you try to make a sense of what’s gonna come in the future, And I think you’re going to find this in the audio/video or video music or whatever name you want to put on it. I don’t know what you could call it. And all the things that are going into place now is not the resurgence of the audio-only medium but basically the audio-only medium riding the technological curve of the present day and with the music getting a nice free ride on this. When it’s all said and done, these are video discs.

KS: Back to “Nezmusic”…on a song like “Cruisin’ “, did you have the idea for the video in mind and then come up with the song or did you write the song first and then create a video around that?

MN: Well, with “Cruisin’ “ the video was very much in mind and all of the songs since then have the pictures very much in mind and try to make them both work together.

KS: Do you enjoy working that way? Does having the visuals in mind help your writing?

MN: Yeah, it expands it because sometimes when you’re writing one of the things you’re looking for is a proper way to express a particular emotion. So you might spend hours or days or quite a bit of time trying to find a word, a phrase or something that conveys some idea what you want to convey. When you put pictures into the equation, you can think, “All right, I don’t need to SAY this out loud. I don’t need to put this in a word because, when I marry the picture to it, it will convey this.” So many times just the presence of the video in your mind, the picture in your creative processes will help you out. For one thing, “Cruisin’ “ was this odd rap record, OK? Go figure. And to me it was OK to just say poems over the top of a kind of simple bleat, you know, it was just bass and drums.

KS: Ahead of its time, when you think about it.

MN: Yeah, when you think about it. (laughs) But at the time no one was thinking that rap would become what it became. And so with “Cruisin’ “ it was a fairly clear poem — the challenge became how do you pictorially represent a phrase like “the light behind their eyes”? How do you do that? And when you write to the video form, sometimes you’ll avoid a phrase like “the light behind their eyes” because it’s much more descriptive and evocative of a mental image than it is of an actual picture. And it’s very important for me to make sure that I steer clear of narrative interpretation of these things. So with “Cruisin’ “ I learned my way a lot and, yes, I did write it with the visual in mind, but I also drove myself into a ditch in several other instances, for instance “the light behind their eyes”, and what I was left with was a cheesy video effect. I mean, I had to do this thing that made this guy’s head blow up with light, you know, Well, OK, so that was fine, but still …

KS: On ”Nezmusic” the overall clips hold up so well — the humor in “Rio” and how current “Cruisin’ “ is — to look at it now.

MN: Well, you know, when we made ‘em a long time ago we were sort of on the cutting edge of the form and we didn’t have the mandate to make a commercial for a record. What we were trying to do was really work on the form. And so the result was that we employed a lot of really basic values and basic values have a tendency to be basic (laughs), to be permanent.

KS: It’s the 25th Anniversary of the Beatles’ arriving in America …

MN: When is that?

KS: Well, actually, it was February.

MN: Oh, it was?

KS: Yeah, Feb. 64. The song “I’ll Remember You” exemplifies your love for the Beatles. I wanted to talk about that and ask you a few Beatles questions. 

MN: Let me tell you about “I’ll Remember You”. Have you heard this song? “I’ll Remember You” I wrote while John was alive. I wrote it in ’79 or ’78 and I wrote it to send to him. I was just gonna give it. You know you write songs to friends sometimes. So it was just a message I was gonna send to him and I knew he was living with Yoko at the time in the Dakota taking care of Sean as a househusband, and I admired that in him. I thought it was good, you know, especially after his sort of sowing some oats there before and so I realized that I was quite fond of John and I’d spent some time with him and I had never really, aside from “Lady Madonna”, I had never really expressed a lot of appreciation for his music. One of the things that happens is that as a writer and a famous or celebrated individual you very seldom have your peers walk up to you and say, “Say, you know, I really like what you did,” Very seldom. I mean, most of the time you’re in some major competition. So I wrote that song specifically with that in mind, just to express a little gratitude. And then part of it I was trying to think from what dynamic does this thing that I feel about John and the music that he wrote come? And I realized that I had the same level of appreciation for the Fred and Ginger movies and I began to draw the parallels between the two of them to enhance the song “I’ll Remember You”. But it was not posthumous to John.

KS: Did you send it to him before his death?

MN: Nope. Never got to it. I just kept it and I didn’t send it and then the next thing I know, Howard Cosell says, “At the end of the day, it’s only a football game …”

KS: You stayed with John in 1967. What was that like? There are a lot of comparisons between you and a lot of talk of the rivalry between the Beatles and the Monkees.

MN: It was like, you know, staying with you or staying with anybody else. You just go over somebody’s house and stay!

KS: Was John a fan of the Monkees’ series?

MN: Don’t know. Didn’t talk about it. Like I say, it’s the sort of thing you don’t talk about. They were recording “Sgt. Pepper” at the time and he played me some tracks for “Sgt. Pepper” and that was about as far as it went. We played a little bit. I mean, basically, that’s what you do. That’s what I did with those guys. When you hung out, you played. You picked up a guitar and played.

KS: There’s a video for “A Day in the Life” in the studio and you’re in it! What was that like, to be there for one of the greatest recording sessions? It must have been amazing.

MN: Well, I know, but you have the mists of myth around it. Whatever it is that’s your current discipline, look at what you’re doing and think about the friends that are involved in that discipline with you and think about going out and having a hamburger with them. How big of a deal is it? It’s not a big deal at all! But listen, I mean, it makes for great dinner stories and I can get anecdotal about it and I can tell you all sorts of things and create magical images and stuff but that’s all nonsense. Basically it’s just John says, “Well, we’re going to be in the studio. You wanna come down? And is it OK that we take some pictures? We’re going to have a camera crew there.” And I said, “Sure.” It was good ‘cause there was a stack of people there, you know what I’m saying, it was a party. “Well, Paul’s got this band together and we’re going to do this big orchestra thing and so maybe you’ll sop by.” And I said, “Hey, I wouldn’t miss it.”

KS: What did you think about the comparisons? A lot of people said there was a rivalry…

MN: What, between the Monkees and the Beatles? Well, it was lunacy. I mean, there was not only not a rivalry, it’s like the Beatles were the Green Bay Packers and we played tennis! You know, it’s just not the same game.

KS: Did you think they had an influence on you as a songwriter?

MN: Well, I didn’t feel any, but that’s not to say that they didn’t. I mean, I was not really a product of those times. My musical roots went back more to hymns and movie music, some of the classics and R & B and country. That was sort of my musical mix. It’s one of those things that makes me very comfortable with elevator music today. There’s such a thing as good elevator music. I’s hidden to most people because everybody thinks of dentists when they hear it, but nonetheless, every once in a while I’ll be standing in an elevator and start tapping my foot and everybody in the elevator will look at me like, “What is wrong with this guy?” (laughs)

KS: “Magic” was a great homage to the 1950’s era. 

MN: Well, it kind of was, wasn’t it? I didn’t intend it to be but it sorta ended up that way, didn’t it?

KS: Being on the Monkees’ television show, did it plant some ideas in your head even back then about how far you could go with the visuals? Did you gain a lot from that?

MN: I think so, to a certain degree. There was a large amount of the technical and creative part that went on that I didn’t pay any attention to. So I didn’t get as much as you might think. What I learned from that was really how to work with a creative team. The musical dynamic, learning to put together the image with the music really came from watching musicals, “Singin’ in the Rain” and “Fantasia” and, you know, those musicals, those old, old musicals. You can rent them at the video store now. “Wizard of Oz.” You know, these are tremendous musicals. So that was, and I guess Busby Berkeley as much as anybody. Do you know his stuff?

KS: In ’83 you said you lost interest in music videos. You said it was like radio with pictures, whereas you saw it as an art form. I wanted to ask why you dropped out and why you didn’t stay with it to bring it into new areas?

MN: Well, the idea of radio with pictures came because most music videos are like commercials for records and I was being asked to do videos for people and I didn’t want to do that. It’s the same thing if somebody called me up and asked me to do a commercial. I don’t want to do a commercial. So I made a decision to do motion pictures which was where I felt like I could do the art form. I tried to put together music type of motion pictures — wasn’t completely successful with it. “Tapeheads” is the first time I’ve gotten even close. But it really was not an attempt to abandon the music video form but to get into an area where I could actually do it. And music videos weren’t it.

KS: Do you think music video is healthier now or is it even worse than it was six years ago?

MN: Oh, it’s gotta be healthier than it was because there’s just a certain law of progress that goes with everything. You gotta get smarter people. You’re saying to me now as if you understand it — and I assume you do — that the current music video is a commercial for a record. You also say that to me as if that’s a pejorative. You say it in a certain disparaging way, so I assume that you don’t think it’s a good thing, that you think it’s as least not a fulfilling element of the form. So I can tell you from talking to literally dozens of other people like yourself that you echo a common sentiment, at least in my experience. So I think that what that common sentiment is bringing forward is that, well, we’ll tolerate the radio with pictures things because at least it kind of pushes us along, but there’s more here than meets the eye, there’s a bigger bone buried in this backyard than we’ve dug up, whatever metaphor you want to insert. At some point somebody’s gonna come along, grab hold of the form and do it, whether it’s me or whether it’s somebody else, I don’t know, but it’s gonna be somebody who’s gonna come along and do it.

KS: And there’s the occasional gems that do come through that make you still believe in the form.

MN: I think heavy metal is probably the most fertile ground right now for something to come along. Well, it’s Wagnerian. You have to look at it that way, number one. I’m talking about heavy metal as a real point of departure. Heavy metal is a good example of music that’s really taken a left turn somewhere along the line and you have to keep in mind that Hendrix was on the first Monkees tour, you know. That’s one of the great ironies of the 60’s. And it was Hendrix who infected me with a love for heavy metal and made it stay forever, which, you know, I’m still a big heavy metal fan. I couldn’t find much that I liked with heavy metal. I liked AC/DC and I liked some of the stuff, you know, from Aerosmith, Foghat, REO Speedwagon, and some of these things that weren’t really heavy metal but kind of were heavy metal pop. It really wasn’t until Eddie Van Halen came along. And Van Halen was the first time that I thought, “Ah! There’s been some life breathed in here.” Of course, now, I don’t know what he’s doing, he’s off in some other zone again, but where he was working with David and those guys, that was HOT. That was real Iwo Jima stuff. Eddie plays the guitar a lot better than Jimi played it. The difference is Hendrix didn’t play the guitar, Hendrix WAS the guitar. Major difference. This guy, when he would touch the neck of his guitar, number one, it was upside down and backwards, or backside down and upwards, whatever you want to call it, but it was screwy. When he touched the neck of his guitar it was very hard to see where his fingers ended and the guitar started. I mean there was a kind of glow around the whole thing. I know this sounds all kind of cosmic, but it’s true! He really was an amazing dude. With Van Halen, I think what Eddie’s got is the same kind of wonderful sensibility that Jimi had but the guitar is a technical extension. He’s very organized in the way he plays and very soulful but Hendrix was…you cannot compare those two. In terms of real crash/burn rock’n’roll there’s a band out there which is somewhere between my absolute favorite band, which is Z Z Top, to Metallica, which is from some other place. And then I sort of like but ignore the Bon Jovi’s of the world, Poisons and Whitesnakes and stuff and Ratt. It doesn’t work. I thought for a while Michael Schenker’s group was gonna do it, right after he left the Scorpions and he did that one album that was just wow! This guy has flat got it. And then he just went nowhere. I think, drogas, el drogas.

KS: You stated recently that putting movies on videocassette was like driving an Indy 500 car to work, a major misuse of the medium. What do you feel can be done to rectify that, and is that where “Overview” comes in?

MN: Well, I think you have to look at the whole user event, yeah, and “Overview” is a part of that. “Overview” is information carrier, though. “Overview” was a magazine on videocassette that just brought previews and reviews and things of coming attraction and it was designed as kind of a video guide. I think that hews closer to the form. At the end of the day, I gotta tell you I think home video is an entertainment medium and I think it’s gonna occupy the same place in the minds of the future people that records kind of do now. That’s where I think it’s gonna extend from, not from motion pictures, do you know what I mean? So you have to think in terms of contemporary music, what records are, in order to get a handle on how to use the video medium. That’s me. That’s the way I think of it.

KS: The first version of “Overview” that you put out, about two years ago, it failed. You’re doing something again with it. What will be different in terms of concept, marketing, distribution?

MN: You have to be careful about thinking that “Overview” failed. “Overview” did what it was intended to do, which was to provide me with a test market. The reason that it appears to have failed is because I thought that the test results would be more positive than they were and that I would go with it immediately. The test results were negative nit it wasn’t a result of the magazine. The test results were the result of the distribution system not working. I had to redesign the distribution, redesign the marketing system, and once that was done I felt like I could go forward. Well, that’s what I did. I went forward, redesigned the marketing system, redesigned my distribution system, and you’ll see it this fall. Again with another test. It may not work again, but we’ll try it again.

KS: Good. I think it’s a phenomenal idea. Just to have, like even on cable TV, the access of a library in front of you where you can just get any information you want, read the newspaper, do all that…

MN: Well, you’re talking about the Holy Grail right now and what that is is the interface of the computer with the video medium, movies on demand, pictures on demand.

KS: Does that interest you?

MN: I’m into it up to my eyeballs! And as a matter of fact you’ll see me come back through here in August with some announcements along this line. But with the availability to take the computer, interface it effectively with video, you’re very close to what you want and all of us want. All of us want to download. All of us want a couple of keystrokes, gimme the data. But you know the data stream in this thing is so dense. Do you have any idea of the technological mountain you’re trying to climb there? The data stream — and I may get this wrong — the data stream on a color video picture, one second, is 80 megabytes! If you know anything about computers you know that that’s a lot of storage. And most people have a hard disc and maybe have 20 megabytes, 10 megabytes, 40 megabytes on a hard disc. By the time you get up to 80 megabytes you’re starting to get into some serious computing power and BIG BUCKS. Well, to get one second of color video with sound on a screen uses 80 megabytes. It uses all the storage space that you have on one 80 megabyte hard disc. So just figure out how many billions of bytes you have to have in order to get 90 minutes. Apple, Hypercard, some of these other computer programs are really blazing the trail with graphics based computer technology that’s gonna make something of what you want. You might be having to live with black and white slides for a while or just somebody talking underneath it, but, hey, it’s a start. And that’s gonna be there. Everybody wants this. Me, too.

KS: It’s the 15th Anniversary — another anniversary — of the formation of your company, Pacific Arts. Being a musician for your whole life and moving into working as an executive and working on that level, was it a difficult transition?

MN: Well., let me answer it this way because it’s a question that’s commonly asked, which is how do you manage to change hats so often and so easily and the answer is, which is a good answer, is that I don’t change the hats. It’s the same hat. The dynamic and the values that I employ to write a song, make a record, do a video, make “Tapeheads”, is the same one that you use to run a company and it’s just different applications of the same values.

KS: Are you pleased with where the company is now? Is it beyond what you envisioned at the beginning? 

MN: Well, it’s different. I don’t know. Every morning I get up and I wonder is this the right place to be going? And a company is a very hard thing to project, you know, the best laid plans of mice and men… The important thing in a company is to be adaptable. U see a lot of people come to me with systems analysis, management systems, a way to control this, that, and the other thing, how to make 5-year projections, 2-year projections, 1-year projections. They all have their place, but none of them occupies as an important place in the hierarchy of things as being adaptable, being able to think fast, be quick on your feet so that when everything goes to hell in a handbasket you can make a decision and ether do something that either saves the day or gets you out of the mud. And when it comes to running a company it’s a question of getting up, assessing the day, and saying, “Well, am I stuck in the ditch?” Or am I on the road? Or is the ditch really the road?” It gets very subtle and curious out there sometimes. So you know one day I may wake up and there will be no Pacific Arts. One day I may wake up and Pacific Arts will be Warner Brothers. I don’t know.

KS: Let’s talk about “Tapeheads”. I loved it. What was it that attracted you to the project? Was it an almost instant affection for the story that made you feel it was right for Pacific Arts?

MN: Well, it was the Swanky Modes. I mean, you know, there was a script that had running through its core the heart and soul of 160’s R & B. Now I don’t mean to indicate that’s what the movie’s about, ‘cause clearly it isn’t. But I thought, depending on who we cast for the Smoky Modes, this could be an unbelievable thing to see. Then when Same Moore and Junior Walker were cast, I was even more thrilled. Of course, all the musicians in the world began to say, “Gee, can we come down and work?” and “Can we come down and play and do all this stuff?” And then when I started hearing the music that they were recording originally for the movie I was just blown away. So the first thing that appealed to me was the music and at the end of the day the thing that makes me the happiest with it is the music. I think “Ordinary Man” is a hit!

KS: Is filmmaking the primary interest for you? Or is it one of many?

MN: Well, right now, I gotta save “Tapeheads”. I gotta make “Tapeheads” work and that’s what I’m talking to you and what I’m talking to everybody I can talk to about right now ‘cause “Tapeheads” has gotta get a shot. If people can understand what is at the root of “Tapeheads” and it can grow, it’s a point of departure for me to make other musical movies and it has to be demonstrated that this is a valid form. I don’t know whether it’s gonna make a lot of money. It may or may not. So far the video looks like it’s gonna do very well. But it’s the music part of this and the combination of movies and music is where I want to be, it’s where I’m totally focused and where I want to ultimately be. And like I say, maybe the next one will be a heavy metal movie. Don’t you think that would be cool? A heavy metal movie? Think of that. I mean, you go into a nice big theatre, I’m not talking about some little squeezie 14-plex, I’m talking about something with this humongoid screen where you can do all this major kill sound and you go in there and you get a couple of concert stacks. You don’t use the speakers that they’ve got ‘cause they’re kinda twinky, you know, you get some concert stacks and you put ‘em in there and you get some big sound and you just do it a little bit like a concert. Why can’t the cinema experience be like a concert experience?

KS: Would it be something like a “Spinal Tap” or a documentary type?

MN: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, something entirely of its own. You know there’s a dynamic, there’s a creative imperative inherent in heavy metal music. It’s male adolescence, it’s cars and women — spelled W-I-M-M-I-N. They’re into it and it works!

KS: And you can identify with it, as well.

MN: You can identify with it. I mean, it’s not the way I lead my life, I’m a fairly conservative guy. But as an art form, I mean, cripes, you can’t ignore that and I think if you’re looking to put some power up on the screen, you know, these guys have got their hands on the trigger.

KS: Which part of the creative process do you enjoy the most? The ideas, the writing, the filming, the editing, or just sitting back and enjoying the end result?

MN: It’s the end result. Yeah, sit back and watch it. I make movies ‘cause I want to see ‘em! It’s the only reason. I don’t know why else to make a movie. You make a movie ‘cause to want to see it. I don’t like chopping the onions and dicing the carrots and standing over the stove much. I don’t like that much.

KS: Same thing with music, as well?

MN: Yeah, you write music ‘cause you want to hear it. That’s why I started writing music. I couldn’t play the guitar. So I couldn’t sing and so anything anybody else was doing so I said, “OK, let’s all sing this song. I don’t know how to play that’ song.” So you make up a song you can sing.

KS: It’s funny that you talked about “Cruisin’” being early rap, because I wanted to ask you about Run DMC’s “Mary Mary”, which you wrote.

MN: Well, I don’t know. My life has been nothing if not poetic. You know what I mean? (laughs) There are certain closed great parentheses is my life and I wonder what open parentheses I’m in the middle of right now. You know, every once in a while, I’ll look at “Mary Mary” and I think, “My Lord! Is this unusual or what?” And then to see this come back around! People say to me, “Are you surprised that the Monkees are doing so well in their reunion?”, and I say, “No, I’m surprised that Run DMC recorded ‘Mary Mary’ as a rap single!” That’s the surprise.

KS: And they did a real good job, I thought.

MN: I thought so. Sure. I mean, if that’s the rap dynamic. I thought when I was doing “Cruisin’” that what I was doing was just reciting poetry over a very spare and simple musical bed. I like the concept of rap because it gives people who can’t sing the ability to express themselves musically. I think that’s cool. I’m not sure what they’re talking about a lot of the time. I suppose it’s OK to talk about “I like the way you look, baby”, but, I mean, I don’t know, it burns out pretty quick for me.

KS: It seems like you’ve reconciled with your past with the Monkees, recognizing that you’ll always be identified with that. 

MN: Well, you’re right. The curious thing to me is that there’s ever any question that I may or may not do that. I mean, why in the world wouldn’t I do that> I don’t have anything to reconcile. It’s always been just fine with me. I knew when I got involved in the thing that IU was going to be a Monkee for the rest of my life. You don’t get involved in things that hot and not have it stay around. Christopher Reeve knew when he took the Superman part that he was gonna be Superman so he better get peaceful with that before he does it. I was peaceful with it before I did it.

KS: Do you think if you did anything with the band, especially a movie, would it adversely affect you or would it fit into the scope of your company? Would you consider something like that?

MN: Sure. We’ve talked about it many times. The problem is not whether or not I’d do it. It’s whether or not anybody would make that movie. And there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of interest in it. I mean, I think it would make an interesting film. You wanna know my guess, I think of there was gonna be something on film it would probably end up on television. Television is the Monkees’ medium. And I don’t know whether or not we could pull it off — the four of us as adults could pull off — what we pulled off 25 years ago. Probably not. So that you have to look that pretty hard.

KS: Would you get involved in a Monkees’ record, maybe contributing a couple of songs?

MN: Sure. Absolutely. All those things are up in the air and up in the wind and we talk about ‘em all the time. I would’ve gone on tour, but I didn’t have the time. I was just finishing “Square Dance” and just starting “Tapeheads” and as a matter of fact I told 'em I would. We were gonna go out and just do half a dozen dates, you know, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, something like that. They called up and said, “Listen, we went to get a drink of water and the faucet fell off in our hand and now it’s 280 dates.” I said, “Well, partners, I can’t do that. I’ve got 25 employees here. I can’t walk away from this.”

KS: On the follow-up tour in 1987 they did quite a few of your songs, “Circle Sky” and “You Just May Be The One”. Was there any plan of your doing a few shows in 1987? It seemed that’s why they had those songs in.

MN: That is constantly in our minds. I think they’re gonna come back this year. We’re trying right now to figure out how to make some dates work. We tried to make one work in Philadelphia. I couldn’t get there. We tried to make one work in Chicago. I couldn’t get there. You know, it’s a nightmare.

KS: There’s a video floating around of the Greek Theatre in 1986. It was just so heartwarming to see.

MN: Oh, you should’ve been there! Oh, it was terrific, it was great. You know, we just tried to figure out the right way to do it and decided I’d come on at the end. And so we put together a couple of numbers and, you know, he guys went through their whole show and it was like, “So long, goodbye,” they’re taking their final bows and then I walk out from the edge and hey hit me with the spotlight and I’m telling you the place went up for grabs! It was unbelievable. It exploded!

KS: The big question is did you have to relearn “Pleasant Valley Sunday” and “Listen to the Band”? You were playing that lick on “Pleasant Valley Sunday” pretty good.

MN: No, I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. Number one, it’s not that hard. Like I say, it’s a big part of my life. I like that part of my life. I wish I could do it more and, if we can figure out a way to do it more…you know, we talk all the time, trying to figure out how to get me back un on the TV show. You know, they’re off in Europe right now doing some big tours and I’d love to be there. I’d love it! It’s be great! But…we gotta get people out there to see “Tapeheads”. (laughs)

KS: The Monkees are receiving a Star this year on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. How do you feel about that and will you attend?

MN: Oh, yeah! You bet! I feel great!

KS: If you were watching TV and a Monkees episode came on, would you watch it?

MN: No. I’ve seen ‘em too many times. I’ve seen ‘em all dozens of times.

KS: You saw them as a spectator in ’86 in Texas. What was that like?

MN: Well, that was real edifying. I’ve been asked about that before, too, and the one thing that was obvious to me was that Micky should’ve been in front all along. You know, he is so good. Why we stuck him back on the drums, that was one of the dumber things we ever did. Between David and Micky up front, I mean, you got two power hitters up here, you know? I just stand there, I don’t do anything. I go over and stand by my amp and play the guitar. And Peter probably could have been a better drummer than Micky because Peter’s a better musician than Micky. So I don’t know, maybe we should’ve given Micky a bass and let him play bass or something, but he was great. It was wonderful to see, too, I’ll tell you.

KS: “The Girl I Knew Somewhere” was the first song you guys all recorded together, which you wrote. The first session, was it a big relief or a lot of pressure?

MN: Well, there wasn’t any pressure to it. You know, there wasn’t a lot of support for us playing, because it was like, “Come on, guys, you’re actors,” and “How are you gonna play and make the music? You know, it’s just too big of a workload, number one. Number two, what kind of material are you gonna play? What are you gonna do?” So it wasn’t a question of “Can you play, can you make decent music?” It was a question of “If you play, how are we gonna make all this fit into what we’re doing? ‘Cause there’s so much other stuff!” So the pressure was never really “Can you play and can you play well?” The question was “OK, we figure you can play and we figure you can play well enough and we know Nesmith writes and we know the rest of you guys write, so maybe this well all come about, but then what?” And that was the big question, because as they predicted it got tougher and tougher and tougher as we got busier and busier and busier.

KS: The “Live ‘67” album on Rhino is interesting to listen to because you guys were a great garage band. 

MN: That’s exactly what we were. We were a garage band.

KS: Have you heard it?

MN: Well, I mean, I heard it when we made it. (laughs)

KS: It had electricity that blew away a lot of critics when they reviewed it, and it had an almost psychedelic version of “Steppin’ Stone”.

MN: It was a psychedelic version of “Steppin’ Stone”. Unequivocally.

KS: What direction do you think the Monkees would have gone if “HEAD” had been a success?

MN: We would have just continued to make films and records. Abandoned television. Probably have jumped into the video form about the time I did. That’s my guess. We would’ve stayed right there.

KS: Would you have veered into a country direction, as “Good Clean Fun” and ”Never Tell A Woman Yes” indicated for you?

MN: No, I don’t think so. Micky was always the voice and Davy was always the voice of the Monkees and they didn’t…Micky was never comfortable singing those country type songs. But you know Micky’s got a terrific pop voice.

KS: I’ve interviewed him, but he seems very insecure and underestimated himself about how good he is and what a great showman he is.

MN: Yeah. Yeah, he does. That’s one of the reasons he ended up sticking back there on drums. I was like, “Yeah, sure, I’ll play drums.” “Mick, get up, get out here.”

KS: In 1969 you went to Nashville and recorded material for an album side of a Monkees LP. What happened with that?

MN: Well, nothing. By that time he show was off the air and there wasn’t any place to put it. That band went on to become a band that had a little bit of success in their own right called Area Code 615 and they were a session band. One of those songs that we recorded was “Listen to the Band”. And then there were some other songs in there that I can’t remember what they were. “Saint Matthew”, I think, was a song that we did. There was some other stuff. It just got stashed in a vault somewhere.

KS: Why was the live “Circle Sky” replaced with a studio version? A lot of critics have said it was a fantastic live performance. In fact, Peter felt it was the best recorded example of the band.

MN: Well, that was done, and I think Peter’s right. I think, if you talk about the Monkees as a band, you have to look at “Circle Sky”, number one, and “Girl I Knew Somewhere”, number wo. I mean, that’s basically a garage band. And that’s the way garage bands play — loud and fast. (laughs)

KS: Were there any songs Davy or Micky sang that you were especially partial to, that you wish you’d sand? Like you did a demo of “Daddy’s Song” first.

MN: No, I was always happy with the way the vocals went down. Every time I’d sing a Monkees’ song it’d sound like a country tune…and at the time having it sound like a country tune wasn’t a good idea. Maybe it’s different now, I don’t know.

KS: It’s interesting how critics hated the Monkees but the public loved them, while your solo career as a country rock pioneer was a hit with the critics but not with the public.

MN: Well, you have to let history write that chapter, Ken. I don’t know what place I have in all of that and don’t really much think about it one way or the other.

KS: One last question, if you could choose three Nesmith songs for a time capsule that would be discovered in a thousand years from now…

MN: Well, I wrote one like that, you know. Because I thought about that. It’s called “Capsule” and it’s on the “Infinite Rider” LP…

[Transcribed from a PDF found on Monkees Live Almanac]

[rather-impertinent]

Girl Next Door chpt. 6

A/N: [’At Last’ by Etta James plays]

Hello friends! Sorry about the wait, I got distracted by canon fanfic! Caroline comes over for a movie night... (me @ me Megan why did you make Dwight a Star Wars nerd you fkn hate Star Wars lmfao)

Dr Dwight Enys’s ears picked up a tapping noise on the door frame. He sat bolt upright and quickly peered around him; he was in his bedroom, his legs dangling off the mattress, fully clothed, with a half-eaten sandwich in his hand.

“What the fu…?” he whispered to himself in groggy confusion. His twelve-hour shift had morphed into an eighteen-hour one as several car crash victims had to be stabilised before surgery, and all nine of them had been rushed in just as he was about to clock off. He had gone to Tesco to pick up a sandwich for lunch on his way home, but he had evidently fallen asleep after two or three bites. He threw the now hard and stale sandwich into the bin, silently lamenting the food waste. The knock on the door came again, though more firmly this time.

He glanced at his alarm clock, which informed him it was 8:17 pm. “Just a minute!” Dwight called as he swapped his smart trousers and shirt for pyjama trousers and a band t-shirt. He walked the short distance from his bedroom to the front door and pulled it open without checking the peephole.

“Caroline!” he said in surprise, his mood instantly picking up. She stood in front of him in pyjamas, her hair worn up in a messy bun, with a Tesco carrier bag in her hand.

She looked him up and down, admiring him in his casual clothes, thinking she’d never seen him in anything other than scrubs or a shirt and tie. “Hi,” Caroline greeted, with a smile forming on her face. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” She bit her lip hesitantly, which Dwight found very distracting.

“No, no,” he lied quickly. They both smiled shyly at one another. “Come in,” Dwight invited, holding the door open for her as she sauntered by him and straight into the living room.

She gracefully sat herself down and waited for him to join her. She cleared her throat slightly. “So, Dr Enys, I thought I would test your theory. I went to Tesco and bought Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, and it was even on sale!” She pulled the brand-new DVD out of the bag and displayed it.

A confused smile spread across Dwight’s face. “You want to watch Star Wars?”

She shook her head. “No, you see, I don’t want to watch Star Wars. What I want to do is prove you wrong by getting to see how truly shit it is for myself,” she explained, her light eyebrows raised in their usual taunting way.

Dwight ripped the plastic wrapping off the DVD cover and opened it. “You’re on.” About halfway through the film, Caroline’s stomach began to whine loudly, so much so that Dwight paused the movie, shooting her a somewhat concerned glance. “Are you okay?”

Her cheeks reddened slightly. “Yeah, I’m fine. I guess I just kind of forgot to eat dinner,” she laughed, hiding her face behind her hand. She had been working all day; the café hosted a kids’ birthday party from 4 pm until 7:30 pm and she had been so excited all day to show Dwight the DVD that she went straight from her flat to his after she’d gotten changed from work earlier.

“Me too,” he admitted sheepishly. How were they both adults? Dwight reached for his phone, a brilliant idea forming in his head. “Dominos,” he sang, opening up the app and immediately placing his saved favourite pizza into the basket. He handed Caroline his phone. “Here, pick whatever you want.”

She accepted the phone with slight hesitation. “Are you sure? These look expensive.”

“Nah, it’s fine. It’s 2 for Tuesdays anyway,” he explained.

Caroline furrowed her brows. “What’s that?”

“What do you mean?” Dwight asked her incredulously as if everyone in the entire world should know of the famous buy-one-get-one-free pizza chain deal. “You’ve never had a 2 for Tuesdays?”

“I’ve never had a Dominos,” she admitted somewhat shyly. “It may surprise you to know that I don’t actually eat fast food very often.”

Dwight looked her slim frame up and down. “Oh, right,” he chuckled. “Well, still, you need to eat something,” he insisted.

“If I get this pizza with all the vegetables on it that still counts as being healthy, right, Dr Enys?”

Dwight’s laugh bounced off the walls of his flat. “I have done that myself more times than I care to admit!”

Caroline fiddled with his phone for another moment and then handed it back to him with an amused smile. He placed their ordered and swore at his iPhone when the estimated delivery time said 65 minutes. It was Tuesday, though. But still.

By the time the seventh Star Wars movie was over, there was still no sign of their pizzas, but the film had gotten quite exciting and so both of them had been suitably distracted from their hunger pangs.

After humming along to the theme tune for at least ten seconds, Dwight pressed stop on the film. “So, Miss Penvenen,” Caroline’s mouth twisted at the use of her formal name, “What did you think?”

She briefly hummed in consideration, fiddling with some loose bits of hair that had fallen out of her messy bun. “It was good. I liked it,” she lied. Dwight saw through this and raised his eyebrows in disbelief. Caroline scrunched her face at him. “Well, I liked your enthusiasm – very much so,” she amended with a small smile, having enjoyed watching Dwight watch the movie more than watching the actual thing itself.

Dwight smiled in return, and before he could even filter the words through his tired brain, he whispered, “I like you very much, too.”

Caroline, for once in her life, was utterly tongue-tied. Not able to think of anything to say, she – for some unbeknownst reason – leaned over and kissed him. Dwight responded eagerly, gently cupping her face with his hand. Just as Caroline had deepened the kiss and placed her hand on his chest, the door buzzer hissed loudly. They broke apart instantly, and stared at each other, both somewhat breathless. The air in the room crackled around them.

Caroline blinked, not quite sure what was going on. The door buzzer rang three times this time, the delivery driver obviously impatient. “Oh! That must be the pizza; I’ll get it!” She practically fell off the sofa in her bid to retrieve their takeaway, or rather, in her bid to escape the situation she had now landed herself in. Sure, she didn’t mind kissing Dwight. It was nice. More than nice. But it’s not like she’d been lying awake at night thinking about doing it since their night out several months ago. Pffft. 

As soon as Caroline turned her back to answer the door, Dwight could hear Ross Poldark’s voice in his head yelling ‘who gives a fuck about the pizza? Why didn’t you stop her?’ and calling him a twat amongst other profanties. Did that really just happen? Had she really just kissed him? He wiped his face and took a gulp from his glass of water, hoping it would cool his body heat.

When she returned, balancing their pizzas on her palms, Dwight held up his Star Wars DVD boxset to her. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Do you want to watch one of the originals? I already have all of them, obviously.”

Caroline placed the pizzas down on the table and firmly shook her head. “No, because then you’ll really have to go and buy an Ouija board to communicate with me because I’ll die of boredom!” She snapped her fingers, an idea coming into her head. “Ooh let’s watch Titanic instead, I’ve not seen it for ages!”

Dwight’s cackle at her clever joke quickly morphed into an exasperated groan. “Oh, my god, you are such a girl!” He took three large bites of pizza to give him enough energy to spend the next three hours of his life watching a chick flick, as though he hadn’t already seen this movie – and cried watching it – about half a dozen times.

Caroline, too, took a bite of her vegetable-laden pizza. “Well, with your caramel mochas you’re already halfway there yourself!” She covered her mouth with her hand so that her half-chewed bite of pizza wouldn’t become exposed as she laughed at him.

“Oh, will you just let that go?” he whined as he polished off another slice. He didn’t realise how hungry he was.

She grinned at him, pizza sauce around the edges of her lips. “Never!”

Dwight inhaled another slice of pizza, finishing it in just four bites, and closed the lid of his pizza box. He sank back into the sofa and selected Titanic on Netflix as per Caroline’s request. “Fine. But shut up now, your shitty romance film is starting,” he teased, nudging her arm with his own.

Caroline nudged him back and abandoned her pizza; sweeping her feet up onto the couch and involuntary leaning into Dwight’s side. “Oh, my god, I’m already going to cry, I swear. The real footage gets me every time!”

Dwight automatically wrapped his arm around her shoulder, as he had done many times before when comforting a patient or one of their family members. “Awww,” he chuckled, finding her shining, sympathetic eyes adorable, “it’s alright.” His hand froze momentarily in panic as he realised what he’d done. He resumed gently stroking the area with his thumb and rejoiced when she didn’t pull away or question it. If anything, he swore he felt her lean in closer.

They sat in comfortable silence as the characters discussed ‘The Heart of the Ocean’ necklace. Caroline said after a while: “You know, I never cared for that necklace. It’s too big; it looks kind of awkward. But I’ve always wanted one of those big, beautiful hats that Kate Winslet wears in this movie. It would be so cool to walk around wearing one!” Dwight couldn’t help but smile at the animation in her voice. “I’ve always kind of wanted to wear trousers with braces, why we did ever stop dressing like that?” He wondered out loud. “Everyone looks so smart - even the poor people!”

She examined him up and down, her close proximity and scrutinising gaze made him feel somewhat nervous. “Hmm. You’d suit braces; you should buy some,” she told him with a seemingly noncommittal shrug while she tried to rid her mind of the image of Dwight in smart trousers with braces.

“Maybe I will.” He flashed a smile at her before returning his focus to the movie with a certain degree of difficulty. He hesitated slightly but ultimately felt the thing had to be said, “You know, I actually really fucking hate the start of this movie. Can we just skip ahead until we get to the flashback?”

She let out an excited gasp, jumped out of the grip of his arm and then hit the limb repeatedly in agreement. “Oh, my God, yes! Thank you! No one ever understands when I say that!”

Satisfied, he fast-forwarded the film to Kate Winslet’s first appearance in the movie. He placed the remote control on his somewhat untidy coffee table before clutching his calf muscle. “Ow, ow, shit! Cramp. Ow. Shit. My leg. Ow.” He hissed and rubbed the offending muscle and removed his legs from where they were resting casually on the table.

Caroline looked at him in alarm. “Uh, here, rest your legs on the sofa.” She shuffled away from him slightly, much to his dismay.

He held up his hand to dismiss her worry. “No, no, it’s fine. My legs are too long anyway, they’ll take up the whole couch, and you’ll have nowhere to sit!” He huffed a laugh.

She considered this for a moment, biting the inside of her cheek. “Well, why don’t we lie down? Then there’ll be room for both of us,” she offered lightly, despite the ongoing calculations in her head.

Dwight blushed and prayed that his flat was dark enough to disguise it. “Sure, why not?”

Caroline casually lay on her side in front of Dwight, and as he resumed the movie and put the remote control back on the coffee table, Caroline gently caught his arm and held it across her mid-rift. She was quite impressed by her boldness.

Dwight was completely tongue-tied but thankfully the poker scene – one of his favourites – was on and so he had something to focus on other than the fact he had his arm around Caroline, and that she had put it there herself. And here he was, a twenty-eight-year-old man, with his heart racing like a fourteen-year-old boy.

‘Somebody’s life’s about to change – Fabrizio?’ ‘Niente.’

“Niente,” Dwight and Caroline repeated simultaneously, causing them both to giggle.

“Nice Italian accent,” Dwight complimented.

Caroline looked over her shoulder, an amused smile on her face. “I was just about to say the same thing to you, Dr Enys.”

She shivered as she moved, and Dwight frowned at the goose-bumps that formed on her arms. “Oh, are you cold?”

She laughed slightly. “Yeah, a little. Could you grab my bag so that I can get my blanket? I think it’s just at your feet.”

Dwight’s face scrunched in confusion, and he breathed a laugh. “You brought a blanket over?” She sat up and looked at him as though bringing a blanket everywhere was the most everyday thing a person could do. “Why?” he asked as he passed her the reusable bag-for-life.

“Do you have a blanket?” she asked in return as she accepted the proffered bag.

Dwight opened and closed his mouth. “Well, no, but–”

“Exactly,” she gloated with a smile, tugging the large, fleecy pink cover out of the bag. She settled back onto the sofa and began unfolding it; pausing to take Dwight’s hand and rest it where it had previously been, motioning for him to lie back down.

Dwight obliged without complaint, and slightly tightened his hold on her. He could only see the back of her head, but he swore he felt her smile. He sighed happily, relaxing into their position. Caroline wordlessly flung some extra blanket over her shoulder to ensure Dwight had enough. He didn’t want to think about how much of Horace’s hair was probably on it, but he wrapped it over his shoulder anyway. It was very fluffy.

Too fluffy, in fact, he realised when he woke up on the couch four hours later, with the DVD menu playing in a continuous loop. Caroline was fast asleep; her eyelashes fanned out above her cheekbones, her lips parted as she breathed quietly.

Should he wake her? He really should wake her, right? But she looked so peaceful – and annoyingly beautiful. Plus, she might be mad if he woke her up. She definitely seemed like the type of person to be annoyed if anyone disturbed their sleep. Yeah, he would just leave her. He glanced at the clock on the wall which told him it was 4 am. He didn’t know if she was working later, so he held his breath and gently sat up, reaching over her to get his phone on the coffee table. Miraculously, she didn’t seem to register that he’d moved at all. Despite the light of his mobile phone initially assaulting his retinas and making him momentarily blind, he managed to set an alarm for 6 am, which would give her enough time to get ready if she had a shift in the morning. Satisfied, he put his phone back down and slowly resumed his position on the couch, pausing to turn the TV off which then plunged the room into darkness.

The change of lighting seemed to rouse Caroline, and she stirred her legs. Dwight carefully shuffled a bit so that he was lying down again. Caroline turned over and slid an arm over Dwight’s torso, before gently resting her head on his chest. “Mm, night,” she mumbled, still mostly asleep.

What was going on? Was he dreaming? He would have to ask Demelza about this on Sunday; maybe she could give him some advice. But for now, he was going to go back to sleep. And cuddle into Caroline, that too.

[myveryownfanfiction]

“Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin.” The normal drone of the office played in the background and I fixed the spreadsheet that Dwight had sent over. 

“Honestly Dwight. How did you mess up my client list so bad?” I looked over the top of my computer to see the man in question shrug. “Everyone is thrown all over the place.” My gaze fell back on the sheet. “For crying out loud!” I gently kicked Dwight’s desk while he looked at me with an innocent expression. 

“What’s wrong now (Y/N)?” his voice gave away that he knew exactly what was wrong. 

“I think you know exactly what is wrong Schrute.” I narrowed my eyes at him. Dwight just shrugged his shoulders and clearly bit back a laugh. “Why did you have to….” We were cut off by my phone ringing. “Hold up.”

“Hello! This is (Y/N). How can I help you with all your paper needs today?” I put on a fake voice while I narrowed my eyes at Dwight again as he got up and leaned over my desk. He swatted my hand as I tried to stop him from accessing my computer. 

“I’m emailing it to myself so I can fix it.” Dwight whispered as he did what he said. “It was a prank. Jim thought it up.” I shooed him away as the voice on the other end of the phone finally responded. 

“(Y/N)! It’s Jo.” The CEO of Sabre rarely called Scranton but if she did, it was important. 

“Oh! Hi Jo! Good to hear from you!” I dropped the customer service voice I was using. “What can I help you with?” Dwight and Jim gave me a look. I responded with a confused look of my own. 

“I just wanted to let you know that the new manager is coming in today. He’s going to need an assistant regional manager. After going over the possible candidates, I thought you would be perfect.” Jo explained. 

“Thank you very much.” I said, my eyes widening at the news. “What do I need to do?” 

“Basically what I want you to do for Robert California is what Dwight did for Michael.” Jo said. I chuckled and opened my mouth to respond but she cut me to it. “But better. Without all the problems and issues that occurred while Michael was there.” I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. 

“Sounds good.” I noticed the pair of pranksters watching me so I asked for their benefit. “So it sounds like you went with Robert California after all.” Jim’s eyes went wide and Dwight looked between the two of us. 

“Yeah. After all those other so called candidates he was the best candidate. Albeit a little overqualified.” Jo clarified. I nodded and watched as Jim let his head fall on his desk. 

“When should he be here and is there anything I should do before he gets here?” I was rapidly scribbling on a notepad trying to get a bunch of questions for Dwight down before Jo told me it was a lost cause. We jumped as the door opened with a bang. “Nevermind Jo. He’s here. I’ll keep you updated. Bye.” I slowly hung up the phone before moving to stand up. “Mr. California! Welcome….” My hand hung in the air where I had held it out for him to shake. Robert California had turned around and walked out of the office after taking one look around the room. I ran to the conference room where I saw his car peeling out of the lot. I turned around and looked into the camera that had followed me and shook my head. I couldn’t form any words as I rushed back to my desk and dialed Jo’s number. “Jo?” I breathed when the phone was picked up. 

“What’s wrong dear?” From her tone, I could tell that either she was concerned by the way I sounded or someone had already called to let her know that Robert California had left as soon as he arrived. “(Y/N)?” I snapped out of my thoughts as her voice carried through again. 

“He left.” I choked out. “Robert California left. He walked in, saw Phyllis cough, and walked out. He just drove off. He left.” I was close to hyperventilating and I could see Pam trying to get the cameras away from me as I leaned over my desk, trying to catch my breath and keep my cool as I waited for Jo to respond. “Jo I don’t know what to do. He’s gone. I don’t know if he quit or is coming back or what. But he’s gone Jo.” 

“(Y/N). Sweetheart. You need to calm down.” Jo’s calming voice came over the phone. “Where are you? In the office?”

“Yeah. My desk.” I breathed out. Dwight was already unlocking the door to Michael’s office. Somehow I knew that is always what it would be to me, no matter who occupied that space. 

“Go to Michael’s old office. Lock the door. Call me back. You don’t need the whole office watching you right now.” Jo hung up and I quickly made my way through the door that Dwight was holding open. I nodded in thanks and quickly sat down to call her back. The call didn’t last that long and by the end of it, I had ushered Jim and Dwight into the office with me. 

“It looks like one of us will have to take over until Jo can get out here and pick the new manager.” I said. “Well, not you Dwight. Sorry.” Jim shook his head as soon as I started talking. 

“You’ll have to do it. I won’t. And Dwight can’t.” Jim held his hands up in defeat while Dwight nodded in agreement. “Don’t worry (Y/N). You can do this.” Jim put his hand on my shoulder. I watched in shock as they filed out of the office. Taking a deep breath, I stood up and walked into the main room. 

“Can I have everyone’s attention?” I called out timidly. Everyone turned towards me and Pam gave me a thumbs up. “Since Robert California left and Jo needs time to get up here to figure out the new manager, she appointed me acting manager. Jim is the assistant manager.” I shot him a look that clearly said I was getting back at him. “Jo should be here by next week so you won’t have to put up with me for too long.” 

“Does she have anyone in the running?” Andy spoke up. I turned towards him and shook my head. 

“If she does, she didn’t tell me.” I told him. I turned back into Michael’s office, just catching Erin’s thumb’s up to Andy. I smiled as I sat at the desk and started to catch up on the work that was piling up without a manager. It was going on the third day when Jo called back. “Hi Jo! What’s up?” 

“(Y/N), have Andy move into Michael’s office. He’s going to be taking over as manager.” Jo said. I could tell by her tone that there was more she wasn’t telling me. 

“What is it Jo? There’s something you aren’t telling me.” I worried my bottom lip as I motioned for Dwight to get Andy. 

“You know me too well darling.” Jo sighed. I held up a finger for Andy and furrowed my eyebrows. “It’s going to come out sooner or later so you might as well hear it from me.” 

“Jo what happened?” I was becoming worried at this point. 

“Robert California is now the CEO of Sabre.” Jo finally told me. My jaw dropped. 

“He’s what?!” I exclaimed. “How did he convince YOU to give him your job?!” 

“He’s very persuasive.” Jo muttered. 

“How persuasive does someone have to be to give them your own job?” I was frantically trying to get the attention of Jim, Pam, and Dwight. Andy finally took pity on me and waved them in. 

“Honey, I think you know.” Jo said nonchalantly. I ran my hand down my face while nodding. 

“Yeah. I think I do know.” I muttered. I decided I was going to keep that little piece of information to myself. “So what happens now?” 

“Andy takes over. Everything will run as usual.” Jo calmly explained. “Robert California will be there either later today or tomorrow. I’m not really sure when. He will become your go-between with the board. Anything you would normally go to me for, go to him.” I sighed and acknowledged the decision. “Don’t worry sweetie. I will be there if you ever need me. You have my number. Everything will work out.” 

“I hope so Jo.” I shook my head. “I really hope so.” 

“Good luck. Give the office my love.” Jo hung up and I let my head fall onto the desk. Finally composing myself, I stood up and offered the seat to Andy. 

“You’re manager now Andy.” I applauded him as he took his seat. “Remember with great power comes great responsibility. Use it carefully.” 

“So does that mean Jo made a decision?” Andy looked up at me. I bit my lip.

“Yes and no.” I tilted my head back and forth. I was trying to keep the information to myself but I knew I couldn’t. Everyone was looking at me expectedly. “Jo made a decision. But it wasn’t about the manager.” 

“Then what decision did she make?” Pam asked. I sighed and hung my head.

“She decided that Robert California is going to be the new CEO and he will be operating out of Scranton.” I finally told them. “Jo thinks he should be here either today or tomorrow. And I’m guessing I’m still the assistant manager.” We stood in the office for a little while longer before we all went out to do our own work. True to Jo’s word, Robert California showed up about an hour before the day ended. 

“Andy. (Y/N). Would you please join me in the conference room?” Andy and I shared a look as we sat down at the conference table. Robert took a seat across from me while Andy sat next to me. “Since this is a new experience for everyone, I thought it would be a good idea to get to know each other. Starting today, I will be alternating between having meetings with the two of you. I’ll start with (Y/N) and I’ll see you tomorrow morning Andy.” Robert stopped talking and waited for Andy to leave the room. It took him a while to get the hint but when he did, Andy gave me a sympathetic look before going out to join the rest of the office. 

“So what are these meetings going to be about Mr. California?” I asked. I thought that if I kept it professional, I would get in his good graces quicker. 

“Robert is fine.” He said as he stood to close the door that Andy had left open. I nodded as he took his seat again. My eyes flicked to the door before focusing on him again. “The first couple will just be getting to know each other. After that, it will most likely be about the effectiveness of the office and what can be done to improve sales, morale, and so on.” Robert pulled out a notebook, opened to a blank page and wrote my name across the top. I swallowed as I watched my name appear letter by letter. 

“Sounds good.” I choked out. Robert threw me a smile before focusing on the paper again. 

“So how long have you been working here at Dunder Mifflin?” The pen was poised above the page in an almost taunting gesture. 

“I think it’s been about,” I paused in thought. “3 years now.” Robert wrote it down before looking up at me. 

“That’s been a long time. Was this meant to be a permanent thing or just temporary?” He looked slightly amused by the thought. 

“At first I thought it would be temporary as they weren’t really looking for someone to stick around but then they saw my sales reports and figured it would be a good idea to keep me around permanently.” I explained. “Which honestly is rather amusing if you think about it. Especially considering that there were people from Stanford that were supposed to stay here but ended up leaving.” Realization slowly dawned on me. “Which might explain why they kept me around.” Robert chuckled and I smiled as he jotted that down. 

“Is this a place that you would like to continue to work?” Robert looked up at me. My mouth moved but no words were coming out. Robert sensed my shock and quickly held up a hand. “Oh! No. No. No. I’m not asking that to fire you later! I’m just curious. You said you worked here for three years. That’s a long time at one company. I’m just curious if this is something you would like to continue to do in your life or if you think there is something else out there for you.” I sighed as his words relaxed me. 

“I’m sorry.” I apologized as I shook my head. “After all the calls with Jo and having to take on the role of manager for a while before finally becoming the assistant manager, I might be a touch…” I sing-songed my head, looking for the right word. 

“Concerned?” Robert suggested. “Or would anxious be a better word?” I smiled softly at him.

“Anxious would be the perfect word thank you.” I cocked my head as Robert reached across the table to gently touch my hand. 

“You have no reason to be anxious. Especially around me (Y/N).” Robert soothed. “I have all the faith in the world that you are going to be an amazing assistant manager. Especially since I am very certain Andy is not going to be much better than your previous manager.” 

“You got to meet Michael Scott?” I questioned. Robert chuckled. 

“No. Unfortunately I didn’t.” Robert patted my hand. “As much as I would have liked to have a conversation with him, I got all my information from Jo.” I nodded and started to reach towards my pocket. 

“That actually makes sense.” I said as I pulled out my phone. “Okay. So there are actually two reasons for this.” I held up the phone. 

“First. I have videos of the various things that Michael did here. Pretty much all of them are funny. A couple are sad. And the last one is actually his engagement because no one else thought that it would be a good idea to get it other than on the documentary.” I unlocked the phone and pulled up the videos. “Second. I have his phone number. If you ever want to talk to him, I can introduce the two of you.” Robert smiled as he took my phone. 

“Oh dear.” He chuckled as he saw the thumbnail for the first video I queued up. “I take it, it is going to be very interesting.” I nodded as he motioned for me to take the seat next to him. Once seated, I pressed play on the phone. The remainder of our meeting was filled with the two of us watching videos of the office’s many shenanigans. When we exited the conference room, we were a little surprised to find everyone left. “We were in there for a while.” Robert muttered as he looked around the empty office. 

“We should have kept a better track of the time.” I chuckled. Robert nodded as he went back into the conference room to gather his few belongings. I went to my desk and gathered up my stuff. I waited for him by reception. He joined me a couple of minutes later. We headed downstairs together in a comfortable silence. 

“Do you need a ride?” Robert asked as we walked outside. I shook my head. 

“Nah. I’m good.” I pointed at the Ford that was left in the lot. Robert nodded and started to head towards his car. “Nice car.” I smirked as I followed him. He looked at me astonished. 

“You know cars?” he asked. I nodded. 

“I know older ones better.” I shrugged. Robert chuckled and shook his head. “I still know this one is a great one though.” 

“I’ll have to take you for a spin in it at some point.” We shared a smile as Robert got into his car. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow (Y/N).” He waved as he drove off. I waved back and headed to my own car. Getting in, I sat there for a couple minutes before a smile made its way onto my face. Shaking my head, I pulled out of the lot and headed home. 

“Maybe he won’t be that bad.” I said to myself. Giggling, I couldn’t deny the next thought that popped into my head. “Maybe I’ll take that chance if it arises.” When I got home, I went to bed happy and thinking of the man that had already wormed his way into my heart.

[hudsfnn]

Live in the Moment

Tagging: Finn, Rachel & Michael Location: On the road Notes: When Michael brings along Finn and Rachel to make a sale, he comes up with one of his “genius” ideas that immediately makes both Finn and Rachel uncomfortable.

Rachel couldn't believe that Michael was subjecting her to go on this sales trip. Rachel wasn't quite sure how Michael decided for himself to go, but she knew that Dwight would probably be able to make the sale a lot quicker. With how Michael acted sometimes, Rachel felt like they'd probably lose the sale. However, Michael requested that Finn go along with him and she just couldn't believe that she was being forced to follow them around and take notes for the future. Michael always tried to remember things about different clients, even down to knowing their favorite color, so she was requested to just sit on the meeting to help out. And try and get Michael out of one of his crazy moods, she supposed. Rachel went to look at Michael and Finn as she sat in the back seat, seeing Michael concentrating on driving. "Are you comfortable back there?" Michael asked, him looking back at Rachel. "Michael, look at the road. I'm fine. Please, I'd rather not get in an accident and fly through the front windshield at the fault of my boss," She said, pointing to the road in front of them until Michael went to concentrate on the front of the road. "Alright, we need to do whatever we can to make this sale. It has really big potential to make a big purchase and to come back again." He said as he looked out at the road, Rachel occupying herself with her phone in the back seat. "Just have Finn make the sale and do the talking," Rachel explained, her looking up to keep her eyes on Michael. "He's best in that position, anyway." Michael paused, him hiding a smirk. "That's what she said." Rachel groaned, her bringing her hand to rub at her forehead. "Really, Michael?" She said, sighing. Rachel knew Michael was crazy, but she also usually forgot that her boss was also a thirteen year old boy half of the time.

Finn was not looking forward on having to go on a sales trip, especially with Michael. It wasn't that he didn't like his boss but he was often insanely overwhelming and having to spend the whole day with him was something he really didn't want to deal with. However, when he had found out that Michael was making Rachel going along with them, he didn't mind it as much. Getting to spend time with her definitely made the whole thing sound more appealing. As he sat in the passenger seat, he looked out the window and sighed softly as Michael spoke about how important the sale was. When Rachel suggested he just make the sale, he couldn't help but smile softly as he glanced back at her. "God, Michael," he said with a sigh when his boss made a 'that's what she said' joke. "Well you can't say things like that and expect me to not say it!" Michael defended. "We need to think of a good angle for this sale. Something to really make sure that they buy from us," Michael said, clearly deep in thought - something that could absolutely prove dangerous. "I mean, aren't we just going for the whole necessity thing? They need paper from us so we'll provide it from them and negotiate a price to make us more appealing than another company?" Finn said as he continued to look out the window. "That's so boring, Finn," Michael told him. "I've got it! I need you two to pretend to be a married couple. And when I say pretend, I need you two to get into it because we can't be caught. I know the lady we're selling to here and she's a hopeless romantic. Tell her how you two met at work and fell in love and then she'll be puddy in our hands," Michael said before he laughed, clearly thrilled about his idea. Finn's eyes widened slightly as he stared out the window. "Um, Michael, I don't - I don't really think that's a great idea," he breathed out. It wasn't that Finn didn't want to make the sale with Rachel but he also knew that he really didn't want to mess with his feelings for her even more than he usually did. "Um, my idea is amazing and we're doing it otherwise you're both fired," Michael said with a laugh, causing Finn to sink down in his seat slightly. "Prepare to be husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. Hudson," Michael said as he continued to laugh, Finn just staring down at his feet as he tried to stop his face from heating up.

Rachel sighed gently at Michael's words. "I don't know how you expect us to make an angle up for the sale. I mean, like Finn said, they just need to get a good deal, we don't need some weird angle, Michael. They just want paper, not some weird story that they're going to expect an update on every single time we call them up to see if they need more paper," She said, looking at him and sighing gently. "I'm sorry, what? Us being a married couple isn't going to help us sell paper," She said, looking at Michael as he was driving. It wasn't that she hated having to be close to Finn, but she didn't want Michael to start teasing them about being together in the office, especially when her fiance went to the office quite often to bring her food or to bring her coffee, which was rare. Mostly, Finn brought her coffee and she liked it a lot more than whenever she made her own cup. "I'm not even a saleswoman, how am I supposed to sell paper?" She said, groaning. "Your idea isn't amazing, it's not going to help us sell paper." She said, looking at him. "I'm your receptionist, not your sales girl. I thought I was here to take notes." Michael laughed and looked at her through the rearview mirror. "Well, now you can be a saleswoman for the day. It'll be great, guys. Come on. And if you need some assistance, you know, I can hop in on the sale." Rachel sighed and crossed her arms as she sat in the backseat. Rachel didn't really say much as she looked out the window, Michael just randomly bringing things up about the sale and about them being husband and wife. When he finally pulled up at the building, Rachel got out of the car quickly and saw Michael do the same, him starting to walk towards the building after waiting for them to follow him. "Come on, guys. Let's go sell some paper." He said, laughing happily before opening the door to the building and holding it open for Finn and Rachel. Rachel walked in and grabbed onto Finn's arm, her keeping close to him. She knew that Michael was kidding about firing them, but she also knew that he'd complain the entire day if they didn't do what he wanted. "So I'll just let you do all the talking for the sale. My specialties are faxing papers and filing. I don't know how much that'll help you," She said with a small smile, looking up at him.

Finn didn't know why Michael was so insistent on him and Rachel acting like they were married to make the sale but he knew that his boss was going to keep forcing it no matter what they said. While yeah, he liked Rachel, this whole situation was making him uncomfortable because being so close to her and pretending that she was his wife was just a huge let down. Because she wasn't and she never would be. When they arrived at the building, Finn sighed as he got out of the car, following after Michael. He raised his eyebrows in surprise as Rachel grabbed onto his arm as they stepped inside and he did his best to hide the small smile that was trying to pull up at the corner of his lips. God, he loved being close to her so much and he knew that he didn't want her to step away from him. "I - um, yeah, I got it, don't worry. I'll do the talking," he said softly. "I guess you have to be my wife for a few hours. I hope you don't mind." Finn couldn't help but let out a small laugh and he watched as Michael spoke with the woman at the reception desk. "My sales team power couple is here so they'll show you just how amazing our paper is and that it makes you find love. Find another paper company that can do that," Michael said as he gestured to them, the receptionist offering them a small smile before directing them where to go. Finn sighed when he noticed that Michael was coming with them and he knew that they'd have to keep up the charade otherwise their boss would keep bringing it up and make it even worse. When they arrived at the woman's office, Finn moved to sit down at one of the chairs and the second Rachel was seated beside him, he moved to take her hand in his as Michael glared at him. His face flushed slightly as Michael started launching into the story of how him and Rachel met at work and fell in love and he hated that there was so truth in his bosses words.

Rachel looked at Finn with a small smile on her lips and she shrugged at his words. "I mean, I think I can handle being your wife for a few hours. It's good practice." Honestly, sometimes she wanted to imagine what it was like to just... be with someone else. Brandon had really been the only person she had been with since she was right out of high school and it felt like it had been an eternity. She loved him, she did. But sometimes, she just didn't feel the same as she did all of those years ago. She didn't know if it happened somewhere along the way of waiting to marry him for so long, but she just tried not to overthink things. Stuff always got less amazing as time went on. At least she thought so. As they started walking into the office, she bit down on her bottom lip as Finn took her hand in his. It felt weird just to be so close to him. Even if they were best friends, there was still certain boundaries that they didn't ever cross. Sure, they hugged and they sat next to each other, but that was pretty much how far the physical contact went. As Michael spoke and the woman looked at her and Finn with a smile, Rachel offered the woman a smile in return. "Oh, how adorable. So how did you know? You know, that he was the one?" The woman asked, Rachel smiling gently before looking over to Finn and back to the woman. She had to make it convincing, right? "I mean, look at that face. That was enough of a selling point for me. But you know, looking up from my desk and seeing him looking at me just started to become my favorite part of my day. And he knows me like no one else does. I mean, it makes the day at work ten times better. He's just a... a really great guy and I know I can't imagine anyone else next to me like this." She wasn't exactly lying -- plus, her words really just described how amazing of a friend he was. Sometimes it was hard for her, honestly. While she understood that they were such good friends, it was just so insane to think about what he did for her and what Brandon didn't because she just knew that she couldn't overthink things. As much as Finn was always there for her, they were best friends. They had to be best friends -- she couldn't ruin that. Not now. And she knew that Finn could have any girl he wanted -- he wouldn't want anyone like her. However, she was being honest. Finn really was the best part of her day and she looked forward to any time with him. Even if it was being forced into some fake marriage by Michael. "Oh, how sweet. I love a good romance story. You make me wish I found my love in the office. It has to be so sweet. You know, sneaking off to talk and to spend time together. Little notes and stuff on each other's desks. And going away on meetings together. I could only imagine," She said, Rachel nodding and feeling a slight blush rise on her cheeks. "O-oh. Yeah. Completely -- it's very sweet."

Rachel looked at Finn with a small smile on her lips and she shrugged at his words. "I mean, I think I can handle being your wife for a few hours. It's good practice." Honestly, sometimes she wanted to imagine what it was like to just... be with someone else. Brandon had really been the only person she had been with since she was right out of high school and it felt like it had been an eternity. She loved him, she did. But sometimes, she just didn't feel the same as she did all of those years ago. She didn't know if it happened somewhere along the way of waiting to marry him for so long, but she just tried not to overthink things. Stuff always got less amazing as time went on. At least she thought so. As they started walking into the office, she bit down on her bottom lip as Finn took her hand in his. It felt weird just to be so close to him. Even if they were best friends, there was still certain boundaries that they didn't ever cross. Sure, they hugged and they sat next to each other, but that was pretty much how far the physical contact went. As Michael spoke and the woman looked at her and Finn with a smile, Rachel offered the woman a smile in return. "Oh, how adorable. So how did you know? You know, that he was the one?" The woman asked, Rachel smiling gently before looking over to Finn and back to the woman. She had to make it convincing, right? "I mean, look at that face. That was enough of a selling point for me. But you know, looking up from my desk and seeing him looking at me just started to become my favorite part of my day. And he knows me like no one else does. I mean, it makes the day at work ten times better. He's just a... a really great guy and I know I can't imagine anyone else next to me like this." She wasn't exactly lying -- plus, her words really just described how amazing of a friend he was. Sometimes it was hard for her, honestly. While she understood that they were such good friends, it was just so insane to think about what he did for her and what Brandon didn't because she just knew that she couldn't overthink things. As much as Finn was always there for her, they were best friends. They had to be best friends -- she couldn't ruin that. Not now. And she knew that Finn could have any girl he wanted -- he wouldn't want anyone like her. However, she was being honest. Finn really was the best part of her day and she looked forward to any time with him. Even if it was being forced into some fake marriage by Michael. "Oh, how sweet. I love a good romance story. You make me wish I found my love in the office. It has to be so sweet. You know, sneaking off to talk and to spend time together. Little notes and stuff on each other's desks. And going away on meetings together. I could only imagine," She said, Rachel nodding and feeling a slight blush rise on her cheeks. "O-oh. Yeah. Completely -- it's very sweet."

Finn looked at the woman sitting in front of him in surprise when she asked Rachel how she had known he was the one for her. He let his eyes shift down to their hands that were still joined together and he bit down on his lip. All he wanted was for this to be real. He wanted her to be holding his hand because she was his girl. He wanted her to want him. As Rachel spoke, he felt his cheeks heat up slightly. He knew she was just pretending but he couldn't help but want to believe her words. She really did seem happy whenever their eyes met as they sat at their desks and she constantly told him how excited she was to spend time with him or for him to bring her coffee. There had to be some truth to that, right? God, he wished there was but he knew it didn't matter. She was with Brandon and she had been for forever, there was no way that was going to change even if he truly did think that she wasn't happy with the guy. "Yeah, it's really special," he said softly. "I don't really consider it work because I get to spend every day with her, you know? She's my best friend." Finn looked over at Rachel and when he met her eyes he offered her a small smile before he turned back to the woman sitting in front of him. "Anyway - um, the sale. So we know right now that you're paying a higher rate with another company and we really think that Dunder Mifflin is the right place for you," he said quickly. Finn jumped into his sales pitch and the second he finished talking, he smiled when the woman seemed eager to accept his offer. "I just love working with companys that share my values and I can tell you are employees that love coming to work every day. I mean, it probably helps that you're in love with each other." Finn laughed softly, trying desperately to will his cheeks not to redden since he knew the woman was partly true. Fuck, why did he have to be insanely in love with Rachel? "Aren't they just adorable? I set them up. They'll make the cutest kids," Michael said, causing Finn's eyes to widen as he looked over at his boss. Was Michael trying to purposefully torture them? Finn simply turned his gaze away from Michael before he looked down at his hand that was still holding Rachel's his heart clenching painfully in his chest at the sight. He didn't want to let her go and it pained him to know that he had to. It pained him to know that none of this was real when he wanted it to be more than anything.

Rachel wanted to have someone to love her unconditionally and she wanted to marry someone who wanted to support her dreams and wanted to support anything she did. She didn't want to marry someone just so she could be married. She loved Brandon, she did. She loved that he always took care of her, but there definitely wasn't the intensity anymore. She was pretty sure that so many years of dating had ruined that. As Finn started to talk about the sale after calling her his best friend, she bit down on her lip to hide a slight smile, her just bringing her attention back to the woman that they were trying to sell to. She really didn't know how her day had turned into this, but she didn't exactly mind. It felt really amazing just to be with Finn and to not worry about anything. Other than acting like she was in love with him. And really, anything she was saying wasn't really acting -- the only thing was that she was holding his hand. And even that didn't feel horrible. "Oh, yeah. He likes to think he set us up because he conveniently has our desks right near each other. But the rest was all us," She said, writing down a few things that the woman had said before putting the paper away and looking over at Finn for a moment. After Michael handed the woman a few pieces of paperwork, Rachel looked back at the woman and smiled, trying to keep the woman happy before she finished signing the few pieces of paper. "We'll update you more as things go along and we'll get everything delivered for you as soon as possible. And I'll have the happy couple follow up with you to see if you need anything reordered after a while. We just want to make sure that you're happy." Rachel still was in shock that this entire thing was happening, but as the woman thanked them and went to stand up, shaking their hands. She only let go of Finn's hand to be able to shake the woman's hand, but afterwards, she took his hand again, surprising herself with the gesture. She knew that they were leaving, but she found herself not wanting to pull away. "Thank you again for doing business with us. We really appreciate it. It was a pleasure talking with you," Rachel said with a smile before she saw Michael thanking the woman as well and starting to leave, him holding the door open for them. She walked through with Finn, still holding onto him before she started walking towards the exit, unsure of what really to say. She was pretty sure that neither of them knew exactly what to say. "That was good, you two. Really good. You two should rethink your careers and think about acting," He laughed as soon as they were outside, Rachel smiling gently. "Uhm... yeah." She said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear with her free hand that wasn't in his.

Finn was relieved that the sale had gone well and as the woman filled out all the paperwork necessary, he couldn't believe that any of this had happened. It was difficult for him to act this way with Rachel when he knew that everything would go back to the way it was the second they left the office. He was so, so in love with her and all this was doing was playing with his emotions and while that was difficult, he also loved every second of it. When they got up to shake the woman's had as they were ready to leave, Finn's face heated up slightly as Rachel grabbed his hand in hers once more. What was happening? He held her hand gently in his as they headed out of the office together and while Michael complimented their acting, all Finn could do was look down at his and Rachel's hands that were still intertwined. This wasn't acting. At least, it wasn't for him. "Finn, why don't you drive? Rachel you can sit up front with him. I need a nap after all that work," Michael said, yawning as he tossed Finn the keys before getting into the backseat and sprawling across it. Finn stood there for a moment, the car keys clutched in his hand that wasn't holding Rachel's before he turned to face her. "Your hands are really small," he whispered. "I never really - I never really realized that." Finn didn't know why he suddenly couldn't let go of her or find it in himself to even move but he knew that he just wanted to be close to her in any way that he could. Fuck, he wanted to tug her closer to him and kiss her. Before he could do anything, however, rational thought kicked back on in his brain as he slipped his hand from hers gently. "I guess we should get going. It's um - kind of a long drive back." Finn smiled slightly before he got into the car, letting out a shaky breath as he started it up. His emotions were all over the place and he truly didn't know how to feel around her sometimes, especially when he caught glimpses of what it could be like if they were together - if there was something between them. As he started driving, he glanced into the rear view mirror and laughed slightly at the sight of Michael totally passed out. "I swear it feels like we're his parents sometimes," he said, him looking over at Rachel and smiling for a moment before bringing his gaze back to the road ahead. All he wanted to do was reach out to take her hand in his and he hated that he couldn't just hold back the way he felt for her no matter how hard he tried.

Rachel looked over at Michael for a moment as he tossed Finn his keys, Rachel just biting down on her bottom lip for a moment before she went to look up into Finn's eyes. As he commented on how small her hands were, she smiled gently and let out a soft laugh. "Yeah, but I think your hands might just be really big," She said softly as she looked up at him. As soon as he let go of her hand, Rachel nodded and cleared her throat gently. "Yeah, we should get going." Rachel went to get into the car and she smiled gently, taking in a shaky breath. She hated that her head was so cluttered with all of these thoughts when she knew that she shouldn't be thinking anything like this about Finn. Finn was her best friend -- that was all he was supposed to be. But holding his hand was just incredibly crazy in such a weird way and she couldn't believe that any of this was happening. "I know, we really are his parents. I think that other than a couple of other people in the office, we're the only rational people there. Dwight acts like a teenager because he's all moody all of the time," He said, looking over at him with a smile as she leaned her head back against the headrest while she looked over at him. "I kind of don't want to go back to the office now. It feels like it's been such a long day," She said before looking to the clock on the dash. "I mean, we don't have that much time left. Maybe Michael will let us go home because you got him a really big sale." She smiled before looking back to see Michael who was still asleep. Rachel yawned herself before leaning her head back against the head rest. "He's crazy. I sometimes don't know what goes through his brain, but you gotta love him. He just makes the day better even if he seems annoying when it actually happens in the moment. But when you go home and think about the day you have to thank him sometimes. He makes you think. About a lot of stuff. And he just makes your day better. I can't imagine working anywhere else. Being at a desk is boring, but I don't know, I guess this is kind of fun."

Finn laughed softly as Rachel spoke. "We are kind of the only rational people, aren't we? And I don't even know if I'd give Dwight the credit of being a teenager. I'll leave him at like toddler age with how crazy his mood swings are." He glanced over at Rachel and he couldn't help but smile as their eyes met for a moment before he focused back on the road. "I know. And I hope he'll let us go home, I didn't even really do anything and somehow I'm exhausted." As she talked about Michael, Finn knew that she was right. While their boss could certainly be crazy sometimes, Finn definitely appreciated him. Their job was entertaining for sure because of Michael and he knew that even when his boss was acting crazy or like an asshole, he did actually care about all of them. Somehow they had all become some weird, giant, dysfunctional family and he really did care about everyone. "I guess we really can't complain, right? We got to pretend to be married, made a sale and took a road trip. Not a lot of people can say that was their day at work," he said playfully. Finn bit down on his lip for a moment, his fingers tapping against the steering wheel before a small sigh escaped his lips. "He does make you think though, about a lot," he said softly. He opened his mouth for a moment to speak before he closed it, shocking himself briefly when he realized he had almost definitely said something that would clue Rachel onto the fact that he had feelings for her. That he was in love with her. "I um - I guess I realized today that pretending to be married is actually a pretty effective sales strategy," he said with a forced laugh. "What did Michael teach you today?" he asked her playfully, him looking over at her and catching her gaze for a moment before he faced forward once more. It pained him sometimes to know how badly he wanted to just lean forward and press his lips to hers or take her hand in his again. Rachel was - god, she was perfect and he just wished he even had a chance because he knew he would do everything in his power to make her feel special. To make her feel loved.

Rachel laughed gently as he talked about the description of their day. It definitely was insane. Some days when she talked about her day and Brandon pretended to listen, she knew that the day would sound absolutely crazy to just about anyone who would listen. "Yeah, we can't complain. I mean, it's crazy, but it's been a good day so far. I mean, getting do do random things with your boss and your friend all day is pretty interesting. It's a good time." Rachel nodded as he talked about Michael making them think about a lot. As he asked her about what she was thinking about, Rachel just looked at him and felt a small smile rise on her lips. She had thought about a lot, honestly. And she just felt a little overwhelmed pretending to be someone's wife when it didn't feel like that at all with her actual fiance. She was still thinking about the woman's question -- what made her think that he was the one? What made her think that Brandon was the one? Was it just how long that they had been together that she felt like she just had to go through with it? She didn't think it was an obligation, but she definitely knew that things were just so crazy. It had been so many years. And for a lot of that time, she had known Finn, as well. "I don't know, just to make sure that I never stop thinking about things. I think the woman made me think about a lot," She said as she sat up a bit, her tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Looking out the window for a moment, she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm glad I got to come today. Even if I was a little out of my element... it was good for me. I don't know, maybe I don't need to be stuck behind a reception desk for the rest of my life. Even if Michael just did all of this as a little joke, I think it was good for me. For the both of us." She looked back at him for a moment before looking down, moving to pull her pone out of her pocket for a moment to scroll through her phone to see if she had any notifications, but when she saw nothing, she stuffed it back into her pocket. "I think it was a good day. I had a good time. It was... nice." She hoped it didn't sound like she was talking about anything in specific, because she wasn't, but she definitely knew that the entire day had definitely been great. It was nice to just be close to him and to see another side of him.

Finn bit down on his lip for a moment as Rachel told him that the woman had made her think about things and he couldn't help but wonder if any of it had to do with him. He didn't want to fool himself into thinking that she had any feelings for him because she was engaged and he knew it was useless but a part of him wished she would. A part of him wished she would realize that he wanted to love her and show her off to everyone and that he would treat her right. He would treat her so much better than Brandon did. God, the guy didn't even seem to understand how good he had it. "I think it was good too," he said softly. Finn knew that the both of them certainly hadn't imagined their lives being like this. He didn't think that many people envisioned their lives sitting behind a desk working at a paper company. "You don't need to be stuck behind a reception desk for the rest of your life, you know," he said softly. "You could do anything you wanted to do. But, you know, you're not allowed to leave me alone so we'll have to figure out a new path for both of us if that's the case," he said playfully as he looked over at her. As Rachel said that she had a good time, that it had been nice, he couldn't help but feel himself grow hopeful once more. Maybe she had liked pretending with him and while he wasn't trying to read into her words, he couldn't exactly help it. "Today was nice," he said softly. "I'm glad you had a good time Mrs. Hudson," he said with a teasing smile as he glanced over at her, trying to ignore the way calling her that made him feel. Fuck, he really needed to get his shit together. He gripped the steering wheel tightly for a moment and before he could say anything else, Michael yawning loudly and moving to sit up in the back seat interrupted him. "Are we there yet?" he asked, causing Finn to laugh for a moment and shake his head. "No, not yet. We'll be back soon though." Michael simply nodded as he looked between them before leaning forward, his elbows resting on the center console. "I'd suggest we even try having Brandon come along to help us make a sale but you'd have to be married for that to happen," Michael said to Rachel, him laughing. Finn didn't understand why Michael always seemed to find Rachel's long engagement so funny but he really wished his boss would lay off of her. "Michael, come on," he said softly. "What? Not my fault you two act better married than Rachel and Brandon do," she said through his laughter before he leaned back in the back seat once more.

Rachel shrugged as he told her that she didn't have to be stuck behind a reception desk for the rest of her life. She knew that she didn't have to but she also knew that she didn't really have many other options. For answering phone calls all day, she made pretty decent money and she was able to do things at work that she never thought she would be able to. Plus, she had her best friend at work. "I know I don't have to, but this is all I really have. I mean, I have hobbies, but it's probably not that great of an idea to ever explore anything like that. I won't make any money, and I need to be able to support myself," She said as she offered him a small smile. "Yeah, I did have a good time. It was good being Mrs. Hudson for a day," She said, feeling a slight blush rise on her cheeks. As soon as Michael woke up and went to lean between the front seats, she immediately looked down at his words. "Michael, stop that." She said as she turned to look at him, knowing that her engagement had been a running joke for so long. "I'm sorry that you think my engagement is so hilarious to you, but you don't know anything about Brandon and I's relationship." Of course, to most people, it didn't look like an amazing of a relationship, and they weren't exactly wrong -- it wasn't always that amazing and sometimes she felt like she was talking to a brick wall, but it was just the ups and downs of a relationship. "Finn and I are friends, Michael. I'd appreciate if you don't continue bringing my engagement up in front of the office all of the time," She said as she looked out the window. Michael didn't seem to really listen, him shrugging and patting his hands against his thighs. "So do you want me to let you two out early so you can go home? You know... and do it?" He teased, laughing loudly in the backseat. "Brandon is my fiance, Michael. I'm not going home with anyone else tonight," She said as she avoided looking at both Michael and Finn, feeling a heavy blush rise on her cheeks. "You two are no fun. Can't even pretend for more than a couple of hours that you're married. You already act like work husband and wife, I don't see how today was any different." Rachel sighed, ignoring his comment. When she saw them getting closer to the office, she suddenly felt a lot better, knowing that she'd at least get to be away from Michael. She didn't want to have to leave Finn alone, but she definitely didn't want to deal with Michael and his comments about their fake marriage.

Finn hated that Michael thought it was funny to bring up the fact that Rachel and Brandon had been engaged for a long time. It was something that obviously bothered her and while Finn wished she could see that she could do better than Brandon, it also really wasn't his place to say anything. All he cared about was the fact that she was happy and their friendship and he knew if he said something to her about her fiance that it would ruin their friendship because his feelings would absolutely come out. "Michael, it's really not funny," he told his boss, hoping to get him to stop talking about Rachel's relationship. When Michael asked if he should let them go home early so they could go home and "do it", Finn's eyes widened in shock and his face immediately turned a deep shade of red. Fuck, was it necessary for him to say shit like that? "Michael, don't say shit like that," he breathed out. Finn ignored Michael's words and shook his head and the second he saw the office, he let out a small sigh of relief. He really didn't want his boss talking about him having sex with Rachel, especially since that was something he tried not to let himself think about too even if he really, really wanted to sometimes. The second they pulled up and Finn parked the car, he immediately got out of it and sighed. "You guys can go home early. There's only an hour left anyway. But I know you both are gonna be boring and not actually have any fun even if you are basically married anyway," Michael said with a laugh before he headed into the building, leaving Finn and Rachel in the parking lot. A sigh escaped his lips as he looked over at Rachel, him moving over to her. "I um - I'm sorry, Rach. He's such an asshole," he said softly as he looked into her eyes. "I keep telling him to stop picking on your engagement, that's not right." Finn offered her a small smile as he put his hands in his pockets, hating that he felt awkward around the girl that was his best friend. "I'm sorry that Michael put us in that position and I, you know, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable because obviously we're best friends and that's it. I don't understand why he can't get that," he said with a slightly forced laughing, trying to ignore the way his face heated up at the thought of being anything more with her.

Rachel was extremely happy when they went into the parking lot at work. She couldn't wait to get out of the car and stop listening to Michael's stupid rants about how her engagement was so shitty. She knew it was a long engagement, but some people were engaged for longer than she was with Brandon. Rachel went to get out of the car right when Finn did, her moving over to him after Michael walked away. "It's okay," She said after he apologized for Michael being an asshole. She didn't care, really. Not that much. She knew it was just talk and sh e knew that she couldn't let it go to her head. She didn't want Michael to ruin her attitude for the entire day, or the week. "Everyone does, even my friends. It's not that big of a deal. My mom even talked to me about how long I've been engaged to him. She just wants me to be happy, you know?" She said, looking up at him with a small shrug. "I'm not uncomfortable, if I had to be talked about being a fake wife to anyone else, I'm glad it's you." She offered him a small smile and reached into her bag to grab her keys, her looking at him with a sigh. "I guess I'm going to get going, I'm going to take advantage of getting to go home early. I won't miss out on this change," She laughed softly, looking up at him. "You're always going to be my best friend. You're the guy I can go to for anything and I'll always appreciate that more than anything," She said with a small smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?" She was excited to hopefully have a normal day at work, especially because today was anything but. "I'm excited to be able to just sit at my desk and not go on a sales call."

Finn looked at Rachel with sadness in his eyes when she told him that everyone made comments about how long her engagement was. "I want you to be happy too, Rach," he said softly. It made him happy that she was comfortable with him because the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel weird in any way. "Well, I wouldn't want anyone else to be my fake wife either." Finn smiled as he looked at Rachel, watching as she grabbed her keys out of her bag. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna head home too." Hearing her tell him that he was her best friend and that she could go to him for anything made him happy and sad at the same time because he knew he didn't just want to be friends. He wanted more than that and he knew he always would. "You're my best friend too and I'm always here for you." When she asked him if she would see him tomorrow, he nodded and offered her a small smile. "Yeah. We'll have a normal day tomorrow. I um - I'll see you, okay? I'm gonna run into the office to grab something before I head home." After saying goodbye to Rachel, Finn headed into the building and immediately moved into Michael's office, closing the door behind him. "Michael, you can't do that again," he told his boss, who looked at him with a surprised expresion on his face. "Oh come on, Finn, I was just having a little fun," Michael said with a laugh, clearly not understanding what effects his actions had on his own emotions. "Michael. You can't do that again." His face was serious as he looked at his boss and it took Michael a few moments before his eyes widened in realization. "You do like her," Michael said softly, Finn just avoiding eye contact with him. "She's engaged," he said quickly, him immediately shaking his head. "BFD, engaged aint married." Finn looked at his boss for a moment before he shrugged. Michael wasn't exactly wrong about that. "Never ever, ever give up,"Michael said, causing Finn to smile softly at his boss. "I um - I'm gonna get going. I just... wanted to talk to you about that," he said, the older man nodding before Finn headed out of the office once more. While a part of him realized Michael knowing about his feelings for Rachel could be horrible, he also needed to hear someone tell him that engaged wasn't married. There was still a chance somehow and while he didn't know when that would happen, he couldn't give up hope on the girl he was so in love with.

[thewalkingdeadimaginings]

This Is Forever

HI umm I was wondering if you could do a one shot where the reader has been a part of Alexandria for a while and she and Daryl have started to fall for eachother without the other one knowing and she goes to The sanctuary and offers herself in return for daryls safe return to Alexandria? And then negan calls Daryl into his room and makes a scene causd he's jealous about how the reader is in love with Daryl and Daryl finds out that way and somehow Daryl and the reader end up "getting cozy ;)" HI I just sent a request for a Daryl X reader one shot where the reader gives herself to negan in exchange for daryls safe return to Alexandria, sorry it's me again lol! I forgot to ask if you could also make it like negan brings the reader to Alexandria in horrible condition all tied up and Daryl sees it and it drives him crazy before they some how end up "getting cozy ;)" lol I'm so sorry this is so much to ask! I love your writing by the way!!<33

Somehow, I’m kinda sorta catching up but also not really because I have a million more requests left to write I am such trash omg how did I earn 1,000 followers? Hahaha I didn’t have a chance to write at all last weekend. I was at a charity event my dad runs every year. All the proceeds go to an amazing local charity for autism. From merchandise and raffle tickets alone, we made 5,000 dollars. That’s not counting things like ticket sales and getting in the door. That hasn’t been counted yet. If you wanna hear more about it, let me know because this charity is close to my heart because my brother is autistic. If you wanna know more about it, I’m gonna post it on another blog on wordpress so let me know!! Also, just a reminder that I do have a Wattpad account. My username is PerfectInsanity17 but I haven’t posted in a while for one because I’ve been working on this and secondly, not a lot of people were reading my work so I paused for a bit. But I’ve got three stories to read on there. If you’d like me to keep going on those stories, let me know!

How did you end up here?

A few days ago, things were wonderful. Things couldn’t get any better. Maggie and Glenn would be having a baby, Alexandria was thriving, you were rebuilding the wall. The only complaint you had was that your friendship with Daryl had become more and more complicated. The more time you spent with him, the stronger your feelings got. But he constantly kept you at arm’s length and there was no possible way to get more than friendship from him. But if that was your only complaint, then you really had nothing to worry about.

How could so much go wrong in just a few days?

In just a few days, Alexandria’s only doctor was killed, Daryl ran off to get vengeance on her killer, Glenn, Michonne, and Rosita went after him, something went wrong with Maggie’s baby, and mere hours later, Glenn and Abraham would be dead, murdered mercilessly right in front of you and the entire group. And you would watch Daryl, bloody, pale, and weak being dragged away as a prisoner. All because of one man. All because of Negan.

You’d caught Negan’s attention briefly but it was nothing more than a smile and a nod from him. You wanted to cry out in protest when he had Daryl thrown into a van and driven away but Rick told you not to. The crushed skulls of your friends didn’t hurt in convincing you to stay quiet either.

How did you get here?

It was only a few days later when Carl got the crazy idea in his head to sneak into a savior’s truck and head for the sanctuary. You weren’t sure which was crazier, Carl’s plan to kill Negan, or your plan to switch places with Daryl. How much good would switching with Daryl do? Probably wouldn’t help all that much. But Daryl would be home where he belonged. You had no idea what they were doing to him and that made your heart ache even more. He was already an abused man with a bruised soul. He might not recover from even more damage. If you could get him away from all this, then you would. You’d walk through fire for that man.

The things one does for love.

Seeing Carl with such bloodthirst was unsettling. He managed to take out two of Negan’s men before someone stopped him. And through it all, Negan was nothing but amused by the situation.

“And you,” Negan said when you emerged. He pointed at you with his bat, its barbed wire fresh and clean, as if it didn’t have flesh hanging off it and blood dripping from it like a leaky faucet just a few days ago. The memory of Abraham and Glenn’s flesh dangling from the barbed wire made you nauseous.

“What’re you doin’ here?” Negan asked.

“I wanna make a deal with you,” you stated. Laughter erupted from the men surrounding the truck but Negan was quiet. Once the laughter died down, he let out a chuckle and rested the bat on his shoulder.

“Shit, could’ve just driven here yourself,” he said, “Don’t gotta be a stowaway. Come on in, let’s talk about this deal.”

You’d caught a glimpse of Daryl before Negan took you and Carl outside. He was rounding up walkers for some reason you couldn’t quite understand. He was filthy, his thin hair soaked in sweat, his face marked with cuts and bruises that made your blood boil with rage. At least he’d recovered from being shot. He was alive, that was the most important thing. That’s how you had to rationalize it to keep from losing your mind. Otherwise, you weren’t sure what you would’ve done.

“So, what’s your name?” Negan asked once the two of you were alone, “Didn’t have a chance to ask when we met.”

“Between murdering two people and kidnapping another, how could you have found the time?” you shot back, “Name’s Y/N.”

“Shit!” Negan exclaimed, slamming his hands down on his legs, “You’re just full of piss and vinegar, aren’t ya?”

“Look, I came here to make a deal with you, Negan,” you said, “You gonna hear me out or not?”

“By all means,” Negan said, “Don’t be shy, Y/N. I’m shakin’ in my boots.”

“I was hoping you’d let Daryl go.”

“Not a chance.”

“Let me finish,” you snapped, “Let him go and take me in his place.”

“You gotta forgive me, Y/N,” Negan chuckled, “I’m kinda confused. Why would you give a damn if you were here instead of him?”

“Because he doesn’t deserve whatever you’ve put him through.”

“Funny you should say that,” Negan said, “Because Daryl seems to think differently.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” you said, “But that doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t deserve this.”

“And again I say, why do you care?” Negan inquired.

“Because I love him,” you blurted out, “And I need him to be safe.”

Negan’s smile fell and he leaned back in his chair. He was no longer amused by the situation. You couldn’t imagine Negan being jealous considering this was the only time you’d ever spoken. Then again, he was quick to murder two people he’d never met before. So, maybe he was quick to…lust.

“You stay right there,” Negan said, hopping up onto his feet. The sly grin was back on his face as he headed for the door, “I will be right back. Just give me two minutes.”

You leaned back in your chair, allowing yourself to get just a little comfortable as Negan left the room. It probably wasn’t the greatest idea to get the slightest bit comfortable. If Dwight or any of Negan’s other meathead henchman came in, you’d be screwed. Negan could easily trap you in this comfort you’d sunk into.

After a few minutes, Negan returned with Dwight following close behind, dragging Daryl by the collar of his sweatshirt. You gasped but Negan held out his hand before you could get up.

“Don’t move,” Negan said, turning his attention to Daryl, “Well, Y/N made an interesting offer. Would ya like to hear it?”

“What did you do to her?” Daryl snapped.

“Nothin’ at all,” Negan retorted, “Now pay attention. Y/N seems to think you don’t deserve any of this. And she wants to make a trade. I let you go and take her instead.”

“Why would you tell him this?” you snapped.

“And do you wanna know why?” Negan continued.

“Negan!” you exclaimed, “Don’t!”

He threw his head back, erupting in laughter, “Because she loves you! Now ain’t that just fantastic, Daryl? The things people do for love am I right?”

Daryl stood there staring at you, stunned by the revelation. He fought to keep a straight face. He didn’t want Negan to read him and figure everything out. If he was alone with you, he would’ve…well, he wasn’t entirely sure what he would’ve done. From the time you’d met, he was certain that you’d never seen him as anything more than a friend. And wasn’t this the worst time to find out he was wrong? When he couldn’t say a word in response to you.

“I gotta say, Y/N, you’ve made an interesting offer,” Negan continued, “You can stay if you want to but there ain’t a chance in hell of me letting him go free.”

“No!” Daryl blurted out, earning a rough yank from Dwight, “Just let her go.”

Negan sat back down across from you, nodding to the door, “Dwight, I think Daryl needs a time out. Put him in his cage.”

“Y/N, don’t do this,” Daryl continued as Dwight dragged him out of the room, “Get out of here!”

Dwight slammed the door behind them and it was just you and Negan alone, trapped in the uncomfortable silence. You folded your hands together on your lap, shaking your head, “I’m not staying unless you let Daryl go. Otherwise, I’m leaving with Carl.”

“We’ll talk about this later,” Negan said, “You just hang out here for a while. I’ve got some things to tend to.”

You didn’t move from your spot for hours. Negan had left to take Carl him and you considered sneaking away after a while but you wouldn’t leave without Daryl. And you had no idea where he was and you couldn’t exactly search for him without being caught. You really had no way of escaping so you just continued to wait.

After several hours, Negan burst into the room, fuming and swinging his bat around. He was enraged, pointing his bat at you, “What the fuck did you do?”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t fucking pretend you don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.”

“I haven’t moved from this spot!” you shouted, “I’m clueless!”

“Well, looks like you got your deal after all,” Negan said, “Daryl’s gone, and you’re mine now.”

Another few days passed and Daryl had gone from hilltop to the kingdom but ultimately ended up back in Alexandria with the others, prepared to fight Negan with everything they had. Dwight offered his assistance but knew nothing about you or your condition. He hadn’t seen you since the day you arrived, which sent chills down Daryl’s spine. It must’ve meant that Negan had dealt with you personally. Had he killed you? Or…worse? Things he didn’t want to think about.

“We’re gonna win,” Rick declared.

“What about Y/N?” Daryl asked.

“Once we finish this, we’ll be able to go over there and get her,” Rick explained, “I’m sure Y/N is fine, Daryl. Negan won’t kill her. She could be a potential bargaining tool for him. Don’t you think?”

Daryl grunted, “Sure. Better make the fucker pay for the shit he’s done.”

“Believe me, we will,” Rick said, “No doubt about that. Let’s just get ready. Try not to worry, Daryl. Y/N can take care of herself. She was bold enough to leave and try to get you out of there, she’ll be just fine.”

Just as Daryl had been afraid of, Negan had been the one to handle you personally. Negan was convinced you had something to do with Daryl’s escape and it was incredibly bad timing but you had no idea Daryl had even gotten out. Negan of course didn’t believe you for a second and his solution to this problem was to simply have you beaten until you admitted to it. But you knew that if you did, he’d most likely have you killed. On the other hand, you were so delirious that you weren’t sure which would be worse, death or being beaten.

You were just barely conscious when Negan threw you into a coffin. After a few minutes, you heard some familiar voices that made you perk up and felt the coffin being lifted but there wasn’t much you could do as you could barely move and were too weak to push open the coffin.

“I’ve got somethin’ you might be interested in,” Negan said. The coffin creaked and groaned as he pulled it open. You turned away from the blinding afternoon sunlight but were quickly dragged out by your upper arm, feeling Negan’s leather jacket against your skin.

“Y/N!” Daryl exclaimed from behind the gate. Rick stood at the very top of the gate, staring at you in shock. He knew that Negan wouldn’t have killed you but he still wasn’t expecting you to be so bruised and bloody.

“She made the deal,” Negan continued, “She stayed, he left. But I’m gonna take Daryl back now. If you all cooperate, Y/N will live. But, it’s a limited time offer so I’d make this decision quick.”

After that statement, everything became a blur. Bullets were flying, everyone was running around in a panic, ducking down and hiding. You could’ve sworn you heard Daryl shouting so you followed the sound of his voice despite how disoriented you felt. Negan was too distracted to notice your absence or try to prevent you from running off. You were avoiding all the gunfire better than you expected since you weren’t even trying. All you knew was you had to find Daryl. It felt like years since you’d seen him. And the last time you had seen him wasn’t exactly pleasant for either of you.

After being unable to find any familiar face, you realized it was pointless to be in the middle of all this gunfire when you could barely focus. You sat under a tree off in the corner where the gunshots were faint and you were free to take a deep breath. Your bones ached, your head throbbed, the blood and sweat that had accumulated on your body over the last few days left a layer of grime you couldn’t stand. Your eyes were so swollen, it was easier to just lay your head back and close your eyes.

The chaos ceased for a moment but you weren’t allowing yourself to feel relieved yet. Sure, Rick and the rest of the group could’ve won but they also could’ve lost and it would become a slaughter soon. Soon, people were shouting and firing their guns again and this time, roaring followed. Roaring? Why would you be hearing roaring? Who would have an animal like that?

You kept your eyes shut the entire time. If you didn’t see it, it couldn’t be happening, right? You thought of the simpler times when you and Daryl went on runs together, when you’d be spending days at a time alone together. He was always so quiet but his blue eyes spoke louder than his mouth ever could. He always hugged his legs to his chest, like he was shielding himself, very rarely ever made eye contact. And when he did, he seemed so unsure and would only peek at you from behind his wispy hairs hanging over his face. You’d wake up early in the morning while he was still sleeping and you’d push those hairs away from his face just to sneak a peek at his peaceful expression, his chest moving steadily up and down. You never wanted those runs to end. You had been convinced every time that you would tell him how you truly felt about him but in the end, you could never go through with it. And now, it could easily be too late. Daryl could be dead or dying. With all that gunfire, the possibility of him being alive was slim.

The second round of insanity ended much faster and then silence followed for several hours. You refused to move from your spot though, still so tired and so sore. This was the first time you’d been able to relax in days without fear of getting hurt again.

Footsteps approached you but you still didn’t move or open your eyes. The person’s clothes rustled and you heard them set something down in the grass beside them. It was when the person spoke that you finally opened your eyes and a pair of blue ones were staring back at you.

“Y/N,” Daryl said, “I’ve been lookin’ everywhere for you. Thought you were dead.”

“I thought you were,” you whimpered. Despite how injured you were, you threw your arms around him, nearly tackling him, “I’m so glad you made it out okay. Who got you out?”

“Not sure,” he replied, “What did that asshole do to you?”

“He was convinced that I was the one to get you out,” you explained, “The timing was pretty coincidental I’ll admit but he wouldn’t listen to me. I don’t wanna talk about that now. I’m just glad it’s over. Is Negan dead?”

Daryl shook his head, “Everyone from hilltop and the kingdom came at the last second and chased Negan and his guys outta here. But they’ll be back. Come on, let’s get you looked at. Can ya stand?”

“I think so,” you grunted as you got up on your feet. Being in one position for the last few hours made your muscles scream out in agony when you finally straightened out. Daryl grabbed your hand as the two of you walked to the infirmary. With all the commotion, you didn’t feel it was the right time to bring up what Negan had said a few days ago. Daryl would just get uncomfortable and shut down like he always did when someone brought up heavy conversation. Expressing emotion was not on Daryl’s list of skills. Especially now with his mind on other things, talking about that just wasn’t as important.

You gave it about a week. Your injuries had mostly healed by then. But other than that, you and Daryl were back with your group and things felt almost normal again. But you still felt uneasy around him. And he seemed more quick tempered than usual, getting frustrated with you easier than before.

Daryl had taken you back to the infirmary after you’d reopened a wound while you were trying to regain your strength and practicing your shooting. He sighed a few times as he was cleaning up the wound on your arm.

“What’re you thinking, Y/N?” he grumbled.

“Can’t just sit around forever,” you replied, “I have to get back to how I was.”

“If you hadn’t gone there in the first place,” Daryl muttered, “You should’ve stayed here where it was safe.”

“I had to go,” you argued, “You weren’t safe.”

“I don’t care about me,” Daryl shot back, “You shouldn’t worry about me so much, Y/N.”

“Didn’t you hear what Negan said?” you snapped, “What he told you? I care so much about you, I love you so much. I couldn’t stand the thought of you being hurt or ending up dead.”

“Well, how do you think I felt?!” Daryl shouted, tossing the bloody rag into the trashcan, “I hated every minute of you being there. I knew what Negan was doing and there was nothing I could do.”

You were startled by his outburst. He so rarely offered much in response but he was off now, “I don’t wanna lose you, Y/N. Not again. Can’t go without you again.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” you said.

“Yeah, well, didn’t wanna give Negan any more leverage than he already had,” Daryl said, “I didn’t actually believe him when he said it. It’s true though, what he said. Isn’t it?”

You kicked your feet, grinning as you grabbed his hands and pulled him closer to you so he stood between your legs, “It’s very true, Daryl. I love you so much. There was just…never a good time to say it.”

Daryl nodded, his own way of saying he loved you too. You were content with his not actually saying it because you knew he felt it. You felt it in his touch when he ran his fingertips up your arms. You felt it in the kiss he placed on your lips, careful and hesitant in all of these gestures but they spoke to you.

You wrapped your arms around Daryl’s torso, your hands slipping underneath his shirt and roaming his back. He tensed a little at your touch but soon he was rolling with it, kissing along your jaw and down your neck, his teeth grazing your shoulder. You inhaled deeply, taking in his scent as his trembling fingers tugged on your shirt. Pulling away briefly, you threw your shirt over your head and tossed it to the floor, quickly bringing Daryl back in. He groaned against your skin, running his nails down your back. You unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders.

“You really wanna do this?” you mumbled, wrapping your legs around his hips.

Daryl nodded and ran for the door to lock it as quickly as he could to make it back to you. You laid back in bed as he climbed over you, burying his face in your neck. You wrapped your legs around his hips once more and he responded with an experimental thrust of his hips, grinding against you. A squeak escaped your lips as you gripped him tighter in your arms.

“Shit, Y/N,” he grunted, “Never wanted anything so bad.”

A fire was burning deep within you and he’d barely touched you. Neither of you could bear it anymore, you couldn’t hold back any longer. You lifted your hips so Daryl could pull your pants down with ease. You sat up a bit and smashed your lips against his while you tugged his pants down past his hips. You felt his fingers slip underneath the waistband of your underwear, his thick fingers cold against your warm flesh. As his fingers reached your core, you bit his lip in surprise. You retaliated by allowing your hands to explore, sliding into his boxers and gripping him firmly in your hand.

“Daryl,” you whispered, slowly stroking him. Daryl groaned, whipping your body around and pulling your underwear down your legs. You gripped the headboard, your heart racing as you panted and whined. You wiggled your hips impatiently, looking back at him over your shoulder, “What’re you waiting for?”

“Stay still,” Daryl said, slapping his hands down on your hips. You jumped but smiled at the fiery feeling growing in the pit of your stomach. Biting your lip, you lowered your head. Without warning, he plunged into you and you both groaned in unison as he stayed there for a moment, allowing the two of you to adjust to the senstation.

“Goddamn, Daryl,” you said. Daryl slowly started moving his hips back and forth, his hands moving up and down your back. He held back any noises, only allowing a few grunts. You couldn’t hold back your pleasure as you moaned and whimpered, curling your toes and bunching the sheets up in your fists. The ache grew stronger with every thrust and you knew this wouldn’t last long for either of you. But this closeness would be worth it no matter how long it was.

Suddenly, Daryl lifted you up so the two of you were on your knees, your back against his chest as he thrust harder against you, beads of sweat running down the side of his head and dripping off his jaw, landing on your shoulder. With one hand on your hip, he moved his free hand down your stomach until he reached your sweet spot, his fingers moving in quick, deep circles. You writhed and rolled your hips against his fingers, flashes of white in your vision as you finally came. Your legs were weak and once Daryl let go of you, you fell forward, his continued thrusting sending you into aftershocks and your walls squeezed him so tightly, he couldn’t hold back anymore. He leaned his head back as he released inside of you.

“I can’t…we just…fuck,” Daryl said, more out of breath than you’d ever seen before, “You alright?”

“More than alright,” you replied, rolling onto your back. He flopped down beside you, “That was amazing. I can’t believe we did that though. Ever think we’d end up here?”

“Nah, but then again, you’ve always been unpredictable,” Daryl replied, kissing your sweaty temple. He never thought he’d ever have the courage to tell you how he felt about you. This had been the last thing he ever expected to happen but he wouldn’t change it for anything. He never wanted to let you go. This was forever.

OKAY THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PATIENCE I KNOW I’M ABSOLUTE TRASH I APOLOGIZE FOR TAKING SO GODDAMN LONG. Writing smut is just harder to get done for some reason.

[junker-town]

What was most popular the last time the Chiefs and 49ers won a Super Bowl

The last two times these two won the Lombardi Trophy, things were pretty different.

It’s been quite a long time since the Kansas City Chiefs won a Super Bowl. In fact, it’s been a whole 50 years — the Chiefs won Super Bowl IV in the 1969 season. Kansas City had the fourth-longest active drought without a Super Bowl appearance until it earned a bid this season.

The San Francisco 49ers, on the other hand, have won a championship more recently. Their last Super Bowl win came in the 1994 season, when the Steve Young-led 49ers defeated the San Diego Chargers in Miami.

This year’s Super Bowl is also in Miami, but that’s about all that remains the same. A lot has changed in the world since the last time these two won championships.

Let’s take a look at what was happening in sports, TV, movies, pop culture, and technology the last time the Chiefs and 49ers won the Super Bowl.

1969 vs. 1994 in sports

1969

The New York Mets won the World Series, 4-1, over the Baltimore Orioles. Nicknamed the “Amazin Mets,” the victory was one of the biggest upsets in World Series history. The Mets it had a losing season each year before that.

The Boston Celtics were the NBA champions, as they defeated the Los Angeles Lakers in seven games. We saw the Celtics-Lakers rivalry heat up during this decade, and the two played in the finals six times — Boston won them all.

In college football, the Texas Longhorns won the national title, beating Notre Dame, 21-17, in the Cotton Bowl, and thus, Texas was truly back. What’s also interesting about this season is after the Longhorns defeated No. 2 Arkansas in December earlier that season, President Richard Nixon presented Texas with a plaque claiming the Longhorns to be the No. 1 team in the land.

1994

Major League Baseball strike: 1994 was a chaotic year for the MLB. Owners wanting to implement salary caps led to a players’ strike in August. It didn’t end for 232 days, the longest stoppage in MLB history, and there was no World Series. The strike cost management close to $1 billion, and players lost millions. It effectively ended Michael Jordan and Bo Jackson’s MLB careers, too.

The Nebraska Cornhuskers won the college football national championship by beating then-No. 1 Miami in the Orange Bowl. It marked head coach Tom Osborne’s first national title, though he’d go on to win two more in the 90s.

The Houston Rockets won their first-ever NBA championship, taking the seven-game series against the New York Knicks.

The O.J. Simpson chase: During Game 5 of Knicks-Rockets, NBC’s telecast was interrupted for the police chase of Simpson in his white Bronco:

Tonya Harding won the U.S. Figure Skating Championship. As you probably know, that was before she was later stripped of her title for her role in the attack on her competitor, Nancy Kerrigan, which happened that same year.

1969 vs. 1994 in music

1969

The Billboard No. 1 song in 1969 was “Sugar, Sugar,” by a cartoon band named The Archies, from the animated TV show The Archie Show. Yes, this is incredibly weird to me, too.

Other big hits during this year included “Honky Tonk Women” by the Rolling Stones, “Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In” by the 5th Dimension, and “I Can’t Get Next To You” by the Temptations.

The Woodstock music festival was held in August 1969. More than 400,000 people gathered on a farm in New York to see artists like Jimi Hendrix, The Who, The Grateful Dead, and Janis Joplin.

Photo by John Dominis/The LIFE Picture Collection via Getty Images

The festival is known as one of the biggest and most important music events in history, lasting four days (it was originally supposed to be only three) while heavy rains caused delays of several acts.

The Beatles recorded their final album together, Abbey Road, which included classics like “Here Comes the Sun” and “Come Together.” That year, the group gave its final live performance, which took place on the roof of Apple Records.

1994

The No. 1 Billboard single for 1994 was “The Sign” by Ace of Base, which was the title track of the Swedish group’s debut album. This one was an absolute banger:

Other hits like “Don’t Turn Around” and “All That She Wants” were on this album.

Some other popular songs from this year included Sheryl Crow’s “All I Wanna Do,” and Boyz II Men’s “I’ll Make Love To You.” This year Mariah Carey released her Christmas album, which is the greatest holiday album in history. I’m not 100 percent sure about that fact, but I’m right, OK? Hootie and the Blowfish’s Cracked Rearview Mirror album was released, though it became more popular the following year in 1995.

This was a pretty big year for debuting artists. Some of the more notable ones, to name a few: Weezer, Outkast, Beck, Notorious B.I.G., and Oasis.

Nirvana lead singer Kurt Cobain sadly died in April 1994.

1969 vs. 1994 world events

1969

One of the biggest moments in both the U.S. and the world history was the Apollo 11 mission, which successfully put the first-ever man on the moon. The mission, led by Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, launched on July 11, 1969, and landed on the moon on July 20.

Photo by CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images

On July 18, 1969, U.S. Senator Ted Kennedy drove his car off of a bridge in Chappaquiddick, which resulted in the death of Mary Jo Kopechne, a former campaign worker of Robert Kennedy’s. Although the news made headlines in the beginning, it ultimately was largely overshadowed by the Apollo 11.

President Richard Nixon was inaugurated on Jan. 20, 1969, for his first term.

On Dec. 1, 1969, a draft lottery was reinstated, for the Vietnam War. It was the first since World War II.

1994

Bill Clinton was sued for sexual harassment by Paula Jones while serving his first term as the President of the United States. The accusations Jones brought forward were allegedly from when Clinton was the governor of Arkansas in 1991. Judges allowed Clinton to avoid trial for the lawsuit until after he left office. Jones later settled her lawsuit in November 1998 after Clinton won the 1996 election.

The Republicans took control of the House of Representatives after Newt Gingrich’s Contract with America. Before Republicans took control. Gingrich signed the contract which laid out legislation that would be passed within the first 100 days of Congress.

Nelson Mandela was elected as South African’s president, in the country’s first-ever democratic election. The elections marked the end of apartheid in South Africa, and Mandela later established a commission to investigate human rights and political violations that happened during apartheid. Beyond his time in office, which lasted until 1999, Mandela is considered to be one of the greatest champions of peace and social justice, both in South Africa and around the world.

1969 vs. 1994 television and movies

1969

The No. 1 grossing movie was Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford. It later won four Oscars, including for Best Original Screenplay.

The children’s television show Sesame Street debuted on PBS in 1969. Sesame Street is still airing new episodes on TV to this day!

Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In was the most-watched TV show, a sketch comedy show hosted by comedians Dan Rowan and Dick Martin. The show featured actresses like Lily Tomlin and Goldie Hawn as performers, too.

1994

Seinfeld was the most-watched television show, while Friends and ER premiered this year. Nearly 22 million people watched the Friends premiere, and ER had over 23 million viewers. All three shows were the anchors of NBC’s Must-See TV lineup.

Disney’s The Lion King was the top-grossing movie that year, and other greats like Forrest Gump, Shawshank Redemption, and Pulp Fiction were released.

Frasier won its first Emmy for Outstanding Comedy Series. It went on to win 112 Emmys until it last aired in 2004.

1969 vs. 1994 celebrities

1969

Celebrities born this year included: Brett Favre, Renee Zellweger, Jennifer Aniston, Paul Rudd (who’s a huge Chiefs fan), and Jennifer Lopez, who coincidentally is performing the halftime show at Super Bowl LIV.

Dwight D. Eisenhower and Judy Garland passed away. Eisenhower died of congestive heart failure. Garland was just 47 when she died of a barbiturates overdose.

John Lennon and Paul McCartney both got married this year, McCartney to Linda until her death in 1998, and Lennon to Yoko Ono until his assassination in 1980.

1994

Lisa Marie Presley married Michael Jackson. The marriage lasted two years before the couple filed for divorce.

Time to feel old! Celebrities born this year include Justin Bieber, Harry Styles, Dakota Fanning, Giannis Antetokounmpo, and Joel Embiid.

Richard Nixon and Jackie Kennedy both passed away. Nixon was 81, and he died after suffering a stroke. Jackie O passed away of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma at just 64 years old.

Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley divorced after 10 years of marriage. Brinkley was said to have partially inspired Joel’s hit “Uptown Girl.”

1969 vs. 1994 Technology

1969

The first-ever ATM was installed in the U.S.: On Sept. 2, 1969, the ATM became available to the public at Chemical Bank in Rockville Center, New York.

This one could only give customers cash, though more ATM advancements came soon after.

Televisions looked a lot different!

On July 3, 1969, the internet’s first message was sent from UCLA: Two machines on campus that were linked together through ARPANET. There was an attempt to send “login” over the network to a group of Stanford students, but the program crashed after “l” was typed in.

1994

DirecTV’s first satellite digital television service launched. That year, there were just 320,000 subscribers.

Something called “Netscape Navigator” was the leading web browser at the time. I am 27 years old, and have no idea what this thing is:

Screenshot via Wikipedia

The IBM Simon debuted as the first-ever “smartphone” for sale: Thank God we have iPhones now.

Via Microsoft

There have been many changes in the 25 years since the 49ers last won a Super Bowl, and in the 25 years before that, when the Chiefs last earned the Lombardi Trophy. Fans of both teams are hoping they won’t have to wait as long to see them play in the Super Bowl again. But if they do, one thing’s for sure: the world will look a lot different.