#IF SHES DEAD I WILL BE IN SO MUCH PAIN

[lemoon-breab]

Just some JuanaFlippa fanart cause she's the best egg and she's totally alive and badass because she's so incredibly powerful mhm

[claraoswalds]

The Girl Who Died // Hell Bent

[shivroy]

hearts roy, roman's daughter, cousin of tom and shiv's son hibs, a tiny woman with adult braces, overplucked eyebrows, masochistic body piercings, her single father's veins, her lonely father's eyes, her rootless father's mouth - pictured IF she had survived past her infancy, which in this hypothetical universe she did not.

hearts, from shiv's perspective, in the "canon universe" of this fic with the mencken presidency having further destroyed america, in which hearts does not live:

[theaceace]

imagining a world in which Simon agreed to go with Edwin and try to escape hell, imagining Simon developing an immediate and very inadvisable crush on the cute guy that just threw a grenade at a demon and Edwin's reaction to that, imagining the reaction of Charles Overprotective Rowland when he finds out that the guy Edwin insists on dragging along with them is one of the guys that sacrificed him to a demon in the first place, imagining the Night Nurse's face when three dead boys pop back through the door instead of two

[s0fter-sin]

ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.

ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.

just for both his broken halves to be rejected.

what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?

his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.

how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?

did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.

who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?

his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.

johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.

he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.

simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.

ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.

whole, in any incarnation.

[d-one-in-the-dirty-trench-coat]

JK Rowling <<<<< MsKingBean89

[lost-hope-but-funny]

elves sleep with open eyes, right?

what if thranduil's wife died with her eyes open

how he was to explain to legolas that no, your mother will not wake up, she is not sleeping

(she will never laugh with you again, she will never love you again, she will never play with you and hug you with those warm arms, you will never see her smile again, only the still one in some paintings (if any were left and were not destroyed by your grief-drunk father) but it will be wrong because she is dead and the paint is just paint, you will never sit with her in the gardens and talk for hours, she will never braid your hair, you will never hear her or feel her smell of home, you will never have a mom because she died abd she is not asleep)

she will not come back, you cannot bring her back, no matter how much you ask

you don't have a mother anymore

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

[hanzajesthanza]

Geralt: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One. Yennefer, code name: “Been There, Done That.” Fringilla is “Currently Doing That.” Regis is “It Happened Once in a Dream”; Dandelion, code name: “If I Had To Pick a Dude.” Milva is... Eagle Two.

Milva: Oh, thank the gods.

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[rubys-forest]

Hey queenie wears a corset right? What does she look like without it? Obviously not asking how she looks NAKED but like you get it

Ok so!!

Queenie does wear one, yes. And how she looks without it-

Here!

[rizaposting]

been thinking a lot about my royai kid ideas lately but i don't think a lot of people will like them because i don't name the kid after maes lol

[ageless-aislynn]

Things I achieved today:

Wrote 203 words on "15 Minutes" chapter 11! Yeah, I'm absolutely celebrating those 203 little words because they're 203 words I was beginning to be afraid were never going to show up. 😬🤗

I think I figured out a way where I can go ahead and pre-order the Dead Rising Deluxe Remaster! This is also HUGE because I really, really want this thing but thought I couldn't try it because of my concerns about how Georgette will be able to handle the Denuvo Anti-Cheat. However, I realized I do have a way to test that without paying full price for the game: Dead Rising 4 (which I own already) still has Denuvo on it. So... I'm going to do a full backup for Georgette, pray super duper hard, then install and see if I can play DR4. Don't have to play the whole game or anything, of course, but I figure a couple of hours of play should give me all the info I need. If Georgette handles that okay, then I'd say that's the green light for DRDR! It has soooooo many awesome things in it, friends, and I've been dying on the inside at not being able to play it when it becomes available! (If Georgette returns to dying every 10 seconds, then I'll cry quite hard for a while but at least I'll know.)

Frank stared wistfully into the survivor rooms in the original DR, wishing he had a friend. No, neigh, longing to have a friend! 🐎

Cheryl is apparently doing *jazz hands* back at Frank. I'm not quite sure what that means... 🤔😂😉

Here's what she was seeing, though...

I mean, who WOULDN'T want to be Frank's friend, right?

Right???

Ahem.

Anyway! That was plenty for one day, lol! Hope you're doing well, friends, and having a nice weekend! Love to you all! 🤗💖

[butmakeitgayblog]

Spoiler? for fear the walking dead. if you care about that? Alycia did it again 💀 I’m not sure about anything else that happened since she left but apparently her character finally reunited with her mother

Baby I seen, and she looks fine as fuck

I haven't seen exactly what happens entirely cuz people are being slow posting clips but it's fine cuz I'm,,, pretty sure it's offensively nonsensical plot wise anyway, but whew. Damn Alycia, back at it again. Girl will do community service for all the busted ass shows of her past and I suppose I respect that. Loyalty and all that

[jamethinks]

*Scene: Loid and Yor talking about someone who is pregnant*

"I wonder what gender the baby will be?" Yor hummed while folding the stack of dresses for Anya. Loid wanted to help but Yor threatened to slit his throat so he opted to stay to the side and read his book. His "doctor" suggested that he take a few days off since his resting heart rate was concerningly high.

(And by doctor he meant Sylvia playing dress up).

"I personally dont care for the gender of a baby." he commented.

"Oh come on. You mean to tell me you weren't silently praying Anya was going to be a boy?"

Perhaps a boy would have gotten along better with Damian. Then again, there are many ways Anya lacks as a potential bait. He made a piss poor choice but it didn't matter in the end. He was stuck with her and all her shortcomings. Her many, many, many, many shortcomings. Hell, she was literally a shortcoming.

"I just wanted a smooth pregnancy and a healthy baby." Stay neutral. Then again, Donovan was a traditional man who probably wanted all boys. If Yor was to go back to Melinda and retell this conversation would his neutrality put off Donovan and doom the whole operation. "But if I were to have a second kid then I would prefer a boy. To keep things balanced."

"I always saw myself as a boy mom. Boys are so much sweeter and cuddlier. Yuri was such a dear growing up."

-

"Yor! Yor! Yor!" a tiny boy ran towards his sister a little flower in his hand.

Yor turned and looked at him with a bright smile. "Awe, Yuri is this for me?"

"Yup." he cheered. "When I grow I'm gonna get really rich so I can give you a million flowers every single day."

"Yuri, that's so sweet." Their mother commented.

"Yes son. But you should save the romantics for your wife." his dad added.

"But Yor's my wife?" he furrowed his eyebrows.

"No. I'm your sister. Your wife should be a very special lady you plan on loving for the rest of your life. You'll find her when you get older." Yor corrected.

"But I already have someone like that. You sis." he was so innocent it pained Yor to have to constantly turn him down.

Their dad came over picking up the little boy. "You got the right idea but the wrong target."

"Don't worry he'll grow out of it. I hope..." their mother muttered a bit wearily.

-

Loid smiled awkwardly. So he's always been like that. "Haha I remember being that age. I would pick a bunch of flowers for her and try to make a bouquet."

"That is so sweet Loid. You just don't get that kind of treatment from girls."

"Oh I'm sure that's not true."

"Yesterday when we went on a walk, Anya kept trying to give me dead caterpillars even though she knows I'm afraid of bugs."

"That's Anya she's just an asshole. Nothing to do with her gender."

"And Becky?"

"Becky is an angel especially compared to that gremlin."

"You've never seen her with her mom."

-

Yor and Anya had been invited over to the Blackbells for a special tea party. Yor was excited to finally spend time with the Madam of the house, Isabel Blackbell. It was refreshing to have a chance to spend time with another girl mom. What she didn't expect was the odd tension between the mother and daughter. It was so weird watching an adult woman argue with a six year old.

"Were you dropped on the head as baby?" Becky spat.

"You were." her mother grumbled.

"Excuse me!" Becky yelled back.

"Miss Becky, inside voices please." Martha pleaded. "We have guest."

"I am so sorry for the noise. Becky is just throwing a tantrum because her dad bought me a bracelet instead of her even though she didn't want a bracelet." Isabel explained.

"It's not about the bracelet it's about the principal!"

"Wrong principle."

"I hate you!" Becky screamed before running off and flopping down on her bed. Isabell sighed and sipped on her fake tea. She sat up and turn. "Get out!"

"Well, Forgers would you like to head out? " she said standing up from the tiny chair.

With that they left to go downstairs. A few minutes later Becky came downstairs still clearly upset but ready to continue playing. She grumble the notion of apology before clinging to her mom the rest of the playdate.

-

"You caught them on a bad day."

"It's always like that. Fighting and squabbling. I'm worried Anya and I will get like that." Loid bit his lip. He didn't have the heart to tell her that is exactly what her relationship with Anya was like. It was fascinating how many of the conversations would just end in a screaming match only for them to be cuddled up under the blanket watching some cheesy movie. Anya didn't even like romantic movies but anything to snuggle with her mama.

Any mother-daughter duo knew had a similar combative dynamic. Or any older-younger woman combo. He has seen Handler and Nightfall bicker before suddenly gossiping about him (even though he was right there).

He feared the day Anya got old enough for them to start fighting over meaningful things.

"Your sample size is too small."

"Well maybe if Anya made more female friends."

"Becky is enough work for me. Not to mention I have to deal with your whining." Anya, who had quietly watching her show the entire time, suddenly added.

"Anya your father and I are talking. Stay out." Yor scolded. Anya hissed before turning back around. "Did she just hiss at me? Loid she hissed at me?"

"I'm sure those Desmond boys give Melinda a run for her money." Loid did not want to get in the middle of their war. He had a lifetime with these two, he needed to pick his battles.

"Don't change the topic." Now he was getting scolded. "But you're wrong. They're both angels."

-

When Yor arrived at the cafe she was immediately escorted to the back. In a small private room, Melinda was there with her head down on the table.

"Melinda what's wrong?" she sat up with running makeup and a strong pout before slowly raising up a small paper.

"Damian wrote a letter for me." She sobbed. "He spelled my name wrong and corrected it and wrote a little sorry. He wrote the entire thing in a blue crayon because he and I quote "knew it was my favourite colour" and then he apologized for not using a lighter shade of blue."

Yor covered her mouth, tears brimming in her eyes as well. She looked at the tiny letter, the endless scrawling from the first grader coming together to create such a sweet and adorable letter. She could see the little doodles and designs to help make it look pretty. He even tried to draw hyacinths as they were her favourite as well.

"He lost marks *Sniffle* because he put the first line *chokes* as Mama's room because he thought it was part of my address." she fell over crying again.

"He didn't even specify a dish instead he said he would he love it as long as I made it because he loves everything I make."

The two women sobbed over the letter for an hour.

-

Anya had to do the same thing. The assignment was to request your mom to make your favourite dish. Of course she decided to write one begging Fiona to make her that weird fish soup again. She did it in red crayon and tried to add tears for design but obviously the blue crayon in use so she stuck with the red. It looked more like a threat than a heartfelt letter. It didn't that the whole thing was in cyrillic.

She was supposed to fail the assignment (since it was supposed to be for your mom not your father's coworker) but Anya played the dead mother card forcing the lecturer to change the assignment not to exclude her. The teacher was surprised when Yor showed up for the PTA meeting excited to see her daughter's progress. By then the grades were already submitted so it was a lost cause.

As Loid said, it was more than her gender. Anya was just an asshole.

THIS USER DOES NOT SUPPORT GENDERED STEREOTYPES. THIS IS JUST MEANT TO MAKE FUN OF BOYMOMS AND POKE FUN AT GENDER OBSESSED PEOPLE. INSPIRED BY THOSE CRAZY BOYCAT TIKTOKS

[steakout-05]

i miss her everyday