#I've started writing some of them out
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andrew always being at kevin's side because kevin needs it and andrew driving kevin to night practice and andrew patting kevin down to check for injuries and andrew promising kevin it'll be fine and andrew looking awake, interested because of kevin and andrew conserving his energy for kevin's quiet meltdown and andrew smiling for the first time without the drugs because of kevin and andrew always picking up when kevin calls
#my posts#my aftg posts#aftg#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court#the sunshine court#kandrew#kevin day#andrew minyard#tearing my hair out climbing the walls chewing drywall#i've always loved kandrew in some way but a few weeks ago it's like a switch flipped#and suddenly i'm absolutely feral over them just constantly thinking about them /and/ writing fic#do y'all know that in some way andrew is the reason kevin started learning how to play right-handed#because they had a fight and andrew said he won't step foot on the court until kevin does as well#augh it's so interesting like how do you even come up with a dynamic like this
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Psst, hey.
Hey you.
Come closer.
Listen to what I'm about to say good and well, alright?
#out of queue#ani rambles#anti ai#anti ai art#solarpunk#solarpunk aesthetic#does this have the official backing of the other 2 event hosts? no i just made this meme on a whim#but also if you try submitting AI art and we find out? or worse if I can flat-out TELL its AI? I'm blocking your ass#one of the best artists I've ever had the pleasure of knowing won't touch the Solarpunk community with a 10 foot pole because of all the#goddamn AI art infiltrating this space. constantly. like even when I'm trying to be on the lookout for it I somehow reblog it anyways#even when I block the tags too!!!! this is a PROBLEM#you want more artists taking part in this community spreading the vision visualizing the future?#STOP REBLOGGING AI BULLSHIT AND CHASING THEM AWAY THEN#how are artists supposed to feel accepted and appreciated and loved by this community when every other piece under the tag is some fuckin#midjourney bs made my scrubbing the internet and spitting out a mishmash of other artists' works and ideas?#i have said it before I will say it again#i would rather see a messy pen scribble on the back of a coffee stained napkin with stickfigures than see some smooth smudgy AI BS again#this applies to AI writing too if I catch an INKLING that your short story even STARTED with some bs chatgpt ramblings you're blocked
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WORLDS GREATEST con artist / cheapskate / stud / boozer / dancer / brat / space cadet / bs'er / hypochondriac / nut / burden / losing gambler / playmate / animal / party-goer
#because of my INIMITABLE grace and kindness i have done the shopping for you. you're welcome#these are some of the ones i liked that i found while looking for world's greatest bitch#i did purchase con artist after i started writing this post but i'm leaving it on here. and i have another bs'er (cheaper) open to think ab#i really loved a lot of these though it was a hard choice to actually buy some#vintage pins#i had a tag for these kinds of things uhhh#my finds#??? was that it#snoopy#i only included the snoopy ones bc i know how much people love snoopy merch tbh#also i didn't find a bitch with a rainbow but i DID remember i have the capacity to switch out the hanging part#so i bought WORLDS GREATEST TRUCKER (cheapest rainbow) and WORLDS GREATEST BITCH (footprints version)#and i'm going to combine them. >:)#i also FINALLY bought a hogs are beautiful pin that i've had in my ebay likes forever#finds
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experiencing the intense guilt of realizing just how long it's been since i logged into ao3. i meant to go reply to things months ago omg i'm so sorry
#ive been creatively burnt out on and off for so long#and both writing and drawing have been kinda difficult to deal with unfortunately#but it's finally been receding :)#hopefully i can finish wrangling my next chapters soon. ive finally started working on them again#alien au c10 editing is finally properly underway!#and ive been working on portal c13 (i gotta go back and edit c11 so i can post it...)#and i've got some fun art wips going#so that's good :)
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things that are hard to find: writing advice that isn't condescending.
#ambie.txt#I've been really thinking about this story in my head and wondering what caused me to get burned out from writing#and realising it's all the formal bits. planning an outline organising things into a timeline. I'm more of an impulse writer#and having to think about all those dry and formal things makes me quit before I even start#this is my autism but I hate having to stop and figure out all this before I write because that way I won't write at all#ever since I started free writing I discovered that I still love writing. I love it so much#but I hate doing all of the other things because they are not my special interest and they keep me from pursuing my special interest#it's just very hard to find writing advice that isn't condescending in this aspect#people stressing out you need an outline first are very common unfortunately#I'm more of a vibes no plot person and like to just discribe the vibes in vivid detail#before worrying about the plot too much. and yes in a story there had to be a plot#but if worrying about the plot and connecting all the scenes is killing my creativity#I want to just go from details first and bigger picture later#again. autism. also writing dialogue is the worst. idk how people talk. I don't understand body language etc etc#I have written some pretty good dialogue before so I know I'm capable. it just really sucks when I have to scrutinise everything#and think “would people say this? do they talk like that?” its draining#so I was thinking about writing dialogue separately. maybe write it as a script for a play#which is essentially just dialogue. and then match it with the scene descriptions I have written#like. I know I'm a good writer. I very good one. but the way I have been writing so far has burned me out#because it was too much focused on all the boring bits and not enough on the freedom and joy of just writing#which is why I love free writing. it allows me to focus on a few tiny details and then develop them into something bigger#also I hate writing on a computer so I got some notebooks so I can write on paper instead#it's where I'm most creative I've found#anyway this all just to say that I think following writing advice is not for me at least not now when I'm rediscovering my passion#and that I need to trust myself more and do things that make me happy#so um yeah. best writing advice is to just write and worry about it later
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uh oh. I was trying to sate my ISAT hyperfixation by just reading fics and looking at art and NOT coming up with a story to write myself and it was working because I had no ideas that felt compelling AND unique but I just came up with one. no. oh no plz not when I have other things to write I can't keep doing this no plz-
#Refuse to say anything at all on here#Because the idea of ANYONE seeing spoilers ever petrifies me#REMINDER AGAIN TO MY FOLLOWERBASE TO PLZ PLZ GO PLAY ISAT OK PLZ#But I genuinely might start plotting it out kajsefkasf#It's one of those 'party loops with sif' things but#With a twist#A very specific twist#To torture siffrin and give them therapy at the same time#Depends#Idk#But now I've thought of it and thus cannot rid myself of the thought#Delete later#If asked I will answer privately. Because I know there's for some reason a lot of people who like my writing#And thus would be willing to hear a pitch if I had one to give#Too Close AU
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For the record! I'm going to apologize now and say it's probably going to be a hot minute before a new RnS chapter comes out [a week, maybe two]. I have encountered some issues that need sorted.
#spazzcat barks#redstone and skulk#don't read the tags if you don't want bookwriting logistics spoilers#delete later#the long and the short of it is i wrote 3 chapters and now i think i'm going to scrap them all#this is the problem with making a backlog: sometimes you see the corner you've written yourself into#and instead of writing your way around it like you would if you were writing chapter by chapter#youre instead going to go back to where the problem started and kill it there#except it is very demotivating to lose upwards of 10k words because of one character choice three chapters ago#that you think is a little out of character#so you need some time to recover from that#and then you need time to make plans#because you've spent the past week and a half writing 3 chapters that don't exist now#so you need to figure out how you think your character would actually act and decide how much this changes the three chapters you wrote#and if those chapters are even salvageable now#so in summation: damn it m'lord there's a dragon in the castle and i've lost escaliber
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an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....
the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc
#luca 2021#pixar luca#alberto scorfano#another idea i've failed to write for & so invite anyone else to run with: ciao alberto but what if he peaces out by swimming off lol#ends up in a coastal town maybe an hour's swim from genoa. but not Getting In Touch w/anyone for a while b/c plausibly he thinks that#giulia may not be a fan of him now by extension; just being too embarrassed asf to reach out to luca kinda lol....luca off doing his own#thing just fine & alberto not wanting to write him now like b/c i Ruined Everything again ahaha....#and by ''not in touch w/anyone for a while'' who knows. months; a few years even....might stumble across news of him b/c like.#say more sea folk are coming to land / more humans know abt them & not many places are as [harpoon]ly from the start anyways#portorosso exceptional in that way....maybe where alberto settles down they're like legendary but also considered Good Luck anyways lol.#anyways like some people know of him who might; say; swim down to portorosso. have their own teen who knows a teen who mostly lives on land#most convenient re sparking [wow could they mean Our alberto] if he doesn't go so far as to take up an alias lol. but why would he....#that difference in that massimo might figure that however alberto was surviving before; he could continue to do so now; but even though tha#is some comfort it's still Not Actually Enough....feeling way more Parentally towards alberto than his biological dad like that; obv#and anyways re: this [The Change gets messed up] idea it's more of an inconvenience lol but one that could still have some significance#like if he first finds out the issue exists via hopping right into the ocean; failing to change forms; never being human form'd in water b4#thee worst....crash intro course to the experience of drowning. observation of How Humans Swim / being able to grab any part of the boat...#and besides That unpleasantness it's like; hey. where's my nonhuman form at#or; of course; being in sea form even while dry....especially if he's still dealing with Nonsense on land. which is presumed.#&/or if there's an upswing in nonsense b/c of Other ways you're Othered...ofc we can consider like; tfw you're a gay fish & maybe that's no#something that on its own would be like Aah until it's like well a) i kinda wanna do things that would make this Visible and b) i've learne#that humans also Have Issues about this kind of thing....#appropriately my tablet was also all thrown off. no pressure sensitivity; input sensitivity overall was rough#but i would've had to restart my laptop about it lol like eh i'll just work around it
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ugh. some thoughts.
really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.
hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.
I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.
I'm just . tired, I guess.
#spectre says#text post#negative#vent post#delete later#sorry#i probably shouldn't post this idk#tbh i know i've said this a million times but. even if i'm struggling to draw or whatever#i'm still open for asks. i want so badly to talk about my characters and the things i've been unable to explain through art#but i can't get my own thoughts together enough to know where to start with that in like. just a random post#and asks would be a great way for me to actually focus on one concept at a time based on whatever you guys are curious about#but i hate sounding like i'm begging for attention/interaction i just. genuinely don't know if anyone is interested otherwise#and if you guys do want to know more you HAVE to tell me directly#because vague forms of engagement are difficult for me to comprehend or read between the lines of#i can't read minds obviously ><;;#i know ask culture has changed a lot over the years tho and a lot of ppl don't like sending them out of being shy or whatever#which i understand#it's kind of an awkward form of engagement that no other site really has#so no pressure i'm just letting you know that I won't know if any of you guys are interested in learning more about my stuff#if i'm not told directly is all#anyway. tangent aside#its just been rough mentally my dudes. hopefully things clear up at some point and i won't feel so dead all the time#and actually have the mental clarity to continue drawing/writing like i used to again;;; God willing;;
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...😭
#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one#the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all#i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today#as i was absolutely useless today#and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭#a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭#and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional)#i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again#i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again#i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it#i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn#and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now#also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely#and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends#for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations#on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed#i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely#please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby
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I've been reading your viktor fics and I'm so in love with the the way you potray him. Your writing is amazing!!! I just can't get enough
it means a lot to me that you would say that... thank you!!! I'm very glad to hear you've enjoyed my works 🥹
#vik is sooo fun to write so I'm glad you believe I've done him justice#his character is very precious to me#ok so here's a bit of me lore hidden in the tags#when arcane came out I was in a bit of a toxic relationship#I remember watching it with my ex#and really enjoying it#but it became sort of tainted and a bad memory#when I started playing league again I got really into arcane#it felt like taking back some agency#finally casting aside all of that bad energy and realizing. I don't care about them anymore#and then I realized yeahhhh I really wanted that cute science guy I just repressed it lmao#and his character hit me so much harder after watching it again#love. he#ask mags
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recent lounging babey images
#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy#a beauntifulle boye...#cats#STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going#on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit#so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T#Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the#main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things.#Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've#now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do#and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and#everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over#the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many#potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all#seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o#cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat#ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together!#and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams#together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and#am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper#focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not)#even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern#age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu#I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb#AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3#I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol
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I'm approaching the most terrifying part of the Exciting New Story Idea process: Writing it down.
#adventures in writing#maybe the best thing my inklings challenge experiences have taught me is that there are always more ideas#i don't have to pick one favorite story and then beat my head against it until i run out of time and pick something else in sheer panic#my favorite idea has reached the beating my head against it stage#once i started considering a fourth draft of the opening i recognized that i had entered the danger zone#which means it's time to step away and try something else#rather than wasting another week and a half at it#i can clear my head with a more straightforward idea#and then hopefully i'll be able to see a clear path with the original idea#instead of drowning in alternate possibilities#i do have a new idea that i love#but as per the above i worry it will lose all the magic the moment i try to jot down notes about it#my idea document was full of ideas that i loved at one point#but true to form when looking for an alternate idea i used none of them#and instead came up with a story sparked by the picture that happened to be the computer background at work#(though i did start by combining that picture with my idea for a story about someone trying to preserve the culture of a fallen/exiled land#(i just shifted it to a landscape i liked better than the antarctic ice land)#(and then as i added on more details the story shifted and has some nice layers to it)#(i've got a character type i've never written before so this could be fun if i can make it work)
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To all of my readers who follow me both here and on ao3, I've decided to lock down my works with this whole new AI scrapping crap that's going on. I hate doing this (and it's the first time i'm actually doing it normally i wouldn't) but I'm sick and tired of people scraping ao3 to train their ai so...works are now locked down. If you want to read my stuff but don't have an account, please dm me, I have a few invitations left (or ask other ao3 users, I'm sure they have invitations to spare).
I know this is inconvenient (believe me, it's bullshit) but I'm protecting my work cuz I worked fucking hard on it and I'm not letting it be scraped
#sass talks#normally i wouldn't lock down my fics because i wrote for smaller fandoms#but now that i've started writing for f1 i'm a little bit more worried#so everything's just gonna get locked down until some one tells us it's safe to unlock them#will i probably lose kudos because of this?#yeah probably#but my fics and my words and my ideas are more important than kudos#(also i hope this new ai fanfiction site or whatever the fuck this new ai scraping thing is burns to the fucking ground)#(or gets wiped out like that other ai fanfiction platform that was going around a couple months back or whatever)
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I'm starting Mission to Zyxx Season 5 now, and I have feelings about that.
First, it generally scares me when people hype anything up at all because there is no guarantee that anyone values the exact same thing I do to the same degree. Even if I trust the creators of a thing to value something and try to do right by it, that doesn't always necessarily mean it will be successful, especially if that involves doing something wildly different than what made it good in the first place (I have been burned this way before). I guess I'm just hoping they continue the format of goofy improv shenanigans for the majority of it with something more planned and emotional in the finale if they want, like they've been doing all along. I'd think they would, and I've heard nothing bad about the ending, but I guess it still makes me nervous because I'm so close to the end and I want it so badly to stick the landing. I'm setting my expectations on the floor so I can be surprised instead of disappointed, but honestly, I don't need it to be better, I just need it to be on par with the rest.
Second, and more briefly, I'm happy it's (hopefully) ending before it has a chance to decline. I am so on board with that philosophy. But on the other hand, finishing a thing that I really, really like and knowing there's not another one out there gives me a special kind of heartache. Like, I know there will be other good media, and stuff that's good and unique in other ways, but I know for a fact that there are no other podcasts out there that have the same mix of a balance of off-the-wall improv and structured narrative, quality comedy, fantastical sci-fi setting and loveable characters, and high quality production. There are other things out there with many of those qualities, but nothing that checks every one of those boxes. It's a lightning-in-a-bottle thing that very much feels like the right people had to be in the right place at the right time to do it. Attempts to do it again would feel hollow because it had to be born out of necessity and passion and the talents of the people involved, so if you switch out the people it loses the reasons it's great, and if the same people tried to do it again it'd feel tired. That makes me so, so grateful it exists, but also so, so sad that it doesn't, and I'm 80% of the way done. When it's over, it's over.
Anyway. Now that that's all out there, I'm just gonna finish listening and have fun. Wish me luck.
#pickle pontificates#mission to zyxx#if you freaking flip on episode 1 after reading this and are like. wow. they're talking a lot about butts and ejecting people into space.#what is pickle on about#well. sue me i guess. idk#I have a lot of feelings about this as a general topic so this is moreso just the most recent thing that's touched on it for me#okay so time for essay 2 in the tags#1. I don't really talk about TAZ on here but it's something I carry with me whenever I think about this kind of thing#I think that in the same vein as MTZ it started off very goofy and directionless and then gave me more emotions than I thought it would#and it's not perfect but balance was a cultural landmark in a lot of ways#i enjoyed amnesty but it didn't have the same spark. what drew me to balance was all the goofy improvisation#and the fact that it was never serious until it was#amnesty (although i loved the setting/concept and enjoyed the characters) crossed the line into taking things more seriously#and while that's not a bad thing in and of itself the thing i enjoy about the mcelroys is when they're goofing around#that's what they're good at and it's why i like them#subsequent arcs suffered the same thing to varying degrees#i slogged through most of graduation for some reason and although ethersea was better i didn't finish it#taz dracula was the first time i've felt that same kind of fun while listening since balance#and I really think it was because they were just getting silly with it. sure yeah elizabeth the sports druid. lady godwin turns into a hors#whatever!#their dad gets to follow through on his ideas and do whatever crazy but kinda logical thing he comes up with#but i guess the point is that to me taz feels very lightning in a bottle. balance is what it's capable of being but is not the default#all the other right ingredients had to be in the soup#2. noragami. ohh noragami.#you wormed your way deep into my heart and then flopped out of it like a messy slimy dead fish#and i can't even be upset about it because the creators sounded so tired and unhappy with the way it ended#but there was so much potential. so many themes that DID hit hard throughout the story and could've knocked a man out cold#had they come back at the end#and they could have right up until so very close!!! it wasn't unsalvageable#in fact it still isn't. you'd hardly have to revise anything. you'd just have to write a different ending
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I've been re-reading @anbu-legacy and decided to do some doodles while I go :)
This set is all from the "ANBU Trials" arc. There is one doodle per chapter, and some random ones thrown in there for fun. I wanted to add something that either made me laugh or thought would be fun to illustrate.
I would highly recommend reading Legacy if you are 18+! It is very good and the writers are amazing!
#these guys deserve so much love for this giant project#I started reading legacy and didn't stop for a solid 3 days until I had it all finished#I've re-read legacy a few times since then#very good writing and world building#this was my first time drawing these boys except for kakashi#I'm still getting used to them#some of these were also drawn a few days apart so there might be some inconsistencies#I need to sit down and figure out how to draw everyone's mask#I went with the more canon anbu mask style for familiarity sake along with the descriptions given#I plan to do more of these as I go!#maybe I'll be able to catch up to current events?#these are all light-hearted scenes but seriously 18+!#stuff goes down!#anbu legacy#ryouma#tousaki ryouma#kakashi#hatake kakashi#raidou#namiashi raidou#genma#shiranui genma#katsuko#ueno katsuko#rin#nohara rin#naruto#uzumaki naruto#minato#willo art
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