#I've never even romanced her before and this dude is perfect for her

[monsterlimbs]

How to romance Shadowheart: be goth apparently

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: loser!seungcheol, afab reader, smut, continuation of my previous two loser!cheol fics, mentions of fwb relationship, confession, penetrative sex, etc.

part 1, part 2, part 3

wc: 2017

a/n: im creating the loser cinematic universe

masterlist

"so, are you guys dating now?", jeonghan asked one day as a few of the other frat members hung around the kitchen after a rowdy night partying.

"oh, uh, i'm not sure," was seungcheol's response.

it was the truth.

after only a few weeks of knowing each other, – and you jumping his bones every time you saw him – seungcheol still had no idea what label he was supposed to use when referring to you.

you were quite sweet to him any time the two of you got down to unseemly activities, but you were yet to mention anything about being exclusive, much less about officially being his girlfriend.

still, when jeonghan asked, seungcheol felt slightly embarrassed answering.

he wanted to proudly claim you as his; to have his fellow frat brothers look at him in envy when he brought you around, knowing you had picked him out of everyone else; that despite having the reputation of being a loser and a smartass, he had scored the prettiest and sweetest girl on campus.

sadly, he could only daydream about such a thing. he fid not have the balls to actually ask you out, something that jeonghan apparently caught sight of when seungcheol gave him his answer.

"dude, just ask her out," he practically scolded, "she clearly likes you. just make the first move and tell her you wanna be official."

"it's not that easy," he grumbled.

except it was.

what seungcheol didn't seem to realize was that you and jeonghan weren't just mere acquaintances. you were actually friends, which meant that he was pretty well informed on the current status of your relationship. while seungcheol remained unaware of what you sought out of the relationship, jeonghan had been made privy of that information by you directly.

your current hope was for seungcheol to ask you out himself. you knew he was shy and introverted, – and entirely inexperienced when it came to relationships – but you wanted him to want you so bad that his want for you bypassed all those barriers. being asked to be official by the pretty nerd from your friend's frat house was something you simply felt was a must. refusing to make the first move, you waited for him to grow frustrated enough to snap and beg you to be his.

meanwhile, seungcheol was disheartened at the thought of you being so nonchalant about it all, believing that if you were really interested, you wouldve already asked him to be yours.

"girls like to feel wanted. all you have to do is ask her out to a movie or something. easy," shrugged jeonghan.

"easy for you to say. i've never done it before," complained seungcheol, deflated.

"when's the next time you're seeing each other?"

"she asked to come over tonight, why?"

"great," smirked jeonghan, "i have a plan."

~

even as socially inept and inexperienced as seungcheol was, he knew this was the cheesiest thing he could've possibly done.

however, jeonghan had been right about setting him up with you in the first place, even having orchestrated the perfect plan to do so in such a seamless way that it landed seungcheol the prettiest fuck buddy, so he decided to blindly trust jeonghan's expertise yet again.

and now he stood in his room, staring down at the bed covered in red rose petals as what jeonghan described to be 'baby-making music' played. the lights were dimmed and the entire aura was nothing short of suggestive.

after having confirmed for you to come over, – all while jeonghan dictated the text seungcheol was meant to send you – he prepared his room for 'a night of romance,' as jeonghan had called it. the plan was to welcome you in, somehow work his way into a confession, and then 'make love' to you (jeonghan's words, not seungcheol's). as much as cheol wanted to actually make love to you and make you officially his, his anxiety was through the roof. he had never had a girlfriend before. you were his first everything, and he was terrified of scaring you away by being too forward. maybe all you wanted was something casual – which would break his heart, but he'd respect it.

it was, however, too late to back down, as you were supposed to arrive within minutes. in fact, he could already hear the door being opened, accompanied by muffled speech, coming from the entrance of the frat.

upon hearing a quiet knock on his door, he went to open it, offering you a sheepish smile as you walked in and took in the sight.

you giggled in disbelief, "cheol, what's all this?"

"uh, i, uhm, i wanted to make tonight a little extra special, that's all."

— 'tell her you coward!', he could hear jeonghan's voice playing in the back of his head.

"yeah? that's all?", you asked, nearing him with a purpose.

"well, no, i- i actually wanted to ask you something."

"mhm?," you smiled, placing your hands on his shoulders.

he was visibly sweating by now, gulping after every sentence and his eyes fleeting from your own down to his shoes.

"just, uh, i wanted to, f-fuck- it's kinda difficult when you- when you do that," he stammered when your hands made their way to the back of his neck, playing softly with the hair there, drawing goosebumps in the process.

"it's okay, cheollie, just tell me. i can get a lot more distracting," you practically warned, not halting your soft touches and now invading all his personal space.

without even thinking of it, his hands had wrapped around your waist, a place that was now natural for him to hold, albeit always in a shy manner.

"y-yeah, okay, uh, i just- just wanted to know if you ... if you'd like to- to, uh, maybe go out sometime," he gulped and cringed at how not-smoothly it had gone over. he hadn't even asked you out how he meant to, how he had rehearsed with han.

"go out? but, cheollie, we already hang out so much. what do you mean by 'go out'?", you tilted your head in fake confusion, clearly acting obtuse on purpose to further mess with an already nervous seungcheol.

nevertheless, cheol was not planning on backing down. not even when you leaned in and began pressing hot kisses to the skin of his neck. not even when your tongue came out to lick at the splotches you'd begun leaving behind. and specially not when your teeth went up to softly nibble at his earlobe.

"b-be my girlfriend, fuck, please? i ...", he whined all at once, hands tightening into your hips.

seungcheol could not be blamed for being such a weak man, falling to your seduction so easily. you were always in control whenever it came to the bedroom. this was something seungcheol absolutely adored. maybe it made him feel weak and a little bit pathetic at times, but it sure made his dick insanely hard, just like at this same moment.

"yes, cheollie," you sighed with a smile as your lips remained attached to his skin, "i'll be your girlfriend, angel."

"y-you will?", he managed to let out a gasp when your hands joined in on the fun, reaching under his shirt and feeling up his chest and abdomen.

"of course, baby. like you so much ... just wanted you to ask me out first," you revealed between kisses on his neck, reaching to his cheek and then finally landing on his lips.

"mmm," he hummed against your lips, hands tightening around your waist as he instinctively pulled you into himself, "god, wanted to ask you out since the day we met."

"i know, cheollie," you giggled, "you're just a little shy, huh?"

"you just make me so nervous," he groaned, letting himself fall limp to your touches, molding to your body and letting you guide him to bed with zero complaints.

"me? but i like you so much," you stress the words as you undress him, with him numbly following along to all your wordless commands.

"like you more ..." he breathed out once he was completely undressed and your hands reached down to toy with his cock through his boxers, "l-like you so much, you have no idea ..."

"can't believe such a pretty boy likes me so much," you went back to his lips, pulling his head back by his hair in order to force his mouth open for your tongue to make an entrance. you breathed in his gasps, making love to his tongue with your own.

"y-you're pretty. so pretty, you- fuck, can't believe you even looked my way," he kept mirroring your compliments, feeling an innate need to let you know how much more into you he was than you could ever understand.

"yeah? let me show you how much i like you, then?" you smiled against his lips, whining at how he seemed unable to disconnect your lips, chasing after your own with a huff.

nodding feverishly, he helped you out of your clothes, groaning any time your hand would go back down to make contact with his cock, eventually pulling it out of his boxers.

"m gonna fuck you now, okay, baby? gonna fuck you just how you like," you promised once undressed, sitting on his lap as his breath accelerated.

he felt a cold sweat rush through his body at the thought of you sitting on him. he'd gotten the privilege of fucking you many times in the pas, but he was always unprepared for the feeling of your cunt wrapped around him. the sight of your nude body in front of him was already enough to make him lose the ability to think coherently.

"f-fuck, oh, fuck, thank you," he groaned when you finally sat down on him, eyes rolling back and fingers digging into your hips.

"cheollie ... fuck, always feel so good for me," you breathed, arching your back and wrapping your arms around his shoulders for support, "such a good boy ..."

the praise made his hips cant upwards, beginning to fuck into you with a complete lack of rhythm, yet still making you let out those high-pitched moans that always made him lose his mind.

"it's so fucking tight ... fuck, love it so much. l-like you so fucking much. so perfect for me ..."

"can't believe you're mine ... please tell me you're mine. please ..."

"need you every day. can't live without your cunt. fuck, you ruined me ..."

uncharacteristically, his words were endless, wanting to let you know how much he liked you and how badly he needed to have you day after day. he needed to make you feel as wanted as you always did him. after every single one of his confessions, you'd respond with a reciprocation, making him even more desperate for you.

"'m gonna cum for you, cheollie," you eventually whined, "cum with me , angel. please? show me how m-much you like me?"

how could he deny you when you played that card? when all he wanted was to give you anything your heart desired? he had no ability to resist you, always following your every request without question.

there was no need for him to hold back his orgasm, as he could practically cum on command if you so much as looked at him a certain way. he just liked you so fucking much, having no control of himself any time you touched him.

his hips accelerated when your orgasm hit you, pistoning into you at punishing speed due to the way your cunt wrapped around him all of the sudden. despite already being used to your cunt, he could not resist its warm embrace any time your orgasm would rob you of your senses. predictably, his own orgasm followed yours almost immediately.

"t-thank you. fuck, thank you. like you so much, fuck. baby, l-like you so fucking much," there was a mantra of thank you's and confessions through the entirety of his orgasm, sounding entirely too pathetic but not caring for it as he expressed his truth for you.

"such a good boy, cheollie," you whispered into his ear once both your orgasms subsided. your hands played softly with his hair, pressing him against your skin in a comforting manner.

seungcheol could die happily in this moment. how could things be better than now? he had the prettiest girl holding him in her arms after the best orgasm of his life, having found out that his feelings were mutual. no more words were needed as the two of you softly loved on one another, eventually laying in bed and napping together, only to wake back up again and express the same sentiments over and over again.

[brucewaynehater101]

I miss the feeling I had when I first joined this fandom, I knew virtually nothing so everything was correct and I loved everything, even if that stuff just isn’t true, i was like

Bruce is a bit emotionally constipated but loves his kids? Hell yeah sounds legit

dick is a silly happy flippy man who is a bit promiscuous? Love that for him

Jason is a mega feminist literature nerd who is also buff and takes care of the street kids? Perfect man honest

Tim is a nerd who never sleeps and is queer and has never known the touch of a man nor woman? Sweet

Steph is waffle obsessed goofball? Well I prefer pancakes but right on

Cass is a mute badass who loves her fam? I love her

Duke is a normal dude? Well someone has to be and he seems neat

Alfred can do no wrong? Aight, I love old perfect tea men

Damian is a little prick? So are all middle schoolers give him time

But then I had to go learn about the characters and now I have complex opinions about them, and can see the inherent racism and sexism in how they are portrayed

You know before I joined the bat fandom I did not use the exclude tag in ao3? Like tmnt and dp have some bad stuff but usually I could just scroll past.

but now I am having to avoid fics where whole ass adults are bullying and/or oversexulizing a child

Im constantly on the look out for untagged batcwst

I struggle to find fics that don’t describe dicks ass

I have been in this fandom for probably about two years now and y’all I swear

sorry for ranting, and don’t worry I love all your stuff and I know the just back click don’t leave mean comments rule

I’m just tried bc most of the stuff I thought was true turned out to be false

Mm. I do find it a little exhausting trying to navigate the lines of what's canon, what shouldn't be canon (but is due to racism/sexism/homophobia/etc.), and just having fun.

I'm also trying to cultivate the mindset of what I've seen on Tumblr about not policing other people's ships/ideas. I am highly uncomfortable with some (particularly underaged people and adults dating), but I'm also not leaving hate comments. Like you said, the backspace exists for a reason.

Idk. There's a toooon of takes/ideas about the batfam that are inherently false, but as long as they aren't racist/sexist/etc takes, I don't see the harm in them. So what if someone wants a coffee obsessed Tim? So what if Jason's kill code is very strict? As long as they don't claim it's canon, let them be

But yeah. I have a mile long exclude list for fics on AO3. I used to use it only for triggers (I can not do stockhold syndrome, my lords), but now it's got other weird ass shit I've stumbled upon (I saw a fic where the batkids were spanked as punishment??? Like I said, not gonna leave hate comments or single anyone out. Just not my cup of tea).

I also am usually not a fan of romance/sex. It's why the batfam intrigued me so much (found families usually don't have that in it). I like exploring dynamics outside of romance and thus love the batfam. They've got so much going on that romance/sex is not needed. They are such a mess without that dynamic being added (talking about the Bats getting with a third party, but, again, trying not to yuck anyone's yum).

However, I agree. There's a ton of misinformation within fandom. I like how complex canon gets with the characters, but there's also widely different takes with them (mostly talking about Bruce here. He can either be trying or just a straight up horrible dad).

[mewhenimanangel]

—synopsis. you finally perform the solo you’d been practicing for the last three months. eren is sure to show up for you

—chapter 8 ౨ৎ

𝜗𝜚content!: au-high school, teenage romance, black reader, ballet dancer reader, cheesy romance, idiots in love

previous ౨ৎ next ౨ৎ

"you did what?!" lana whisper-yelled, scolding you as you stretched on the barre. you told her about how you blew off eren's date and told him off monday morning. she asked you how you and eren were doing since she hasn't seen you guys together all week.

you told her about how painfully awkward math class was. for the first time since sitting with each other, you and eren spent the entire lesson focused on mr ryan and writing down the notes. you even moved your self over a bit so to not bump against him.

"is this because of your dad?" lana asked. you rolled your eyes, she knew you too well. during your depressive episodes, lana was the one person you never successfully pushed away. she would show up to your house with snacks and a stuffed animal she thought you would like, your room was growing a collection at this point.

she would then spend the night with you in your bed so you weren't alone.

"maybe it is" you told her as you changed positions according to mrs jaeger's instructions.

"dude. i'm sorry but you can't keep doing this" she scoffed. "what? don't tell me how to cope with my feelings" you got a little defensive.

"you can't be serious." lana deadpanned "girls. focus." mrs jaeger said. "we're not done with this conversation" she whispered.

once mrs jaeger was done with practice, you joined lana at your designated spot in the room.

"listen i know how you get but eren didn't deserve that. he actually really likes you" she chugged her water before continuing "the fact that he even came up to you proves that. don't shut him out."

"fine you're right that he doesn't deserve it but..i think we might as well just leave it there. the show's in a week and i've been slacking off. plus i saw that he followed historia on ig again" you scoffed.

"okay that part is weird. but you can't be upset when you're the one that literally told him to go back to her. that's literally your fault"

"ugh shut up it's not like i meant for him to literally do it." "relax, i don't think they're back together. it's just a follow. connie would've told me if they did get back together"

"ugh i guess you're right" you sighed, grabbing your duffel bag. "practice?" she asked and you nod your head.

"you want me to come back to take you home?" she asked you. "nah it's fine i'll call my mom" you left the room.

you looked down at your phone for a second before you managed to bump into someone. "sorr- oh." annie cut herself off when she saw you.

you rolled your eyes before beginning to walk away. "so how are you?" she put on a phony apologetic voice. "what do you mean?" you furrowed your eyebrows.

"well rumor has it that you and eren are done and he's back with historia. that's gotta hurt doesn't it?" she frowned. "i wonder if mrs jaeger is gonna give me the solo now that you've broken her poor son's heart after slutting yourself out"

"...annie do you fucking hear yourself?  whatever the fuck i have going on has nothing to do with you or this solo. i never got the solo because i was talking to eren, i got it cause i'm actually a good dancer and i know how to do a basic fucking spin." you scoffed.

you put your earbuds in and walked away before she could say anything else. it's like everything in your life was just trying to test you this last week.

you spent the next two hours perfecting your solo and going over your parts in the recital.

unbeknownst to you, eren was out in the hallway watching. he subconsciously stopped outside the room when he was going to ask his mom for the keys to the house again.

eren wondered why you even still bothered with these long practices when every move you did while practicing was perfect. it was kind of silly to him. you spun around and eren quickly ducked past the window he was creeping from.

you furrowed your eyebrows, swearing you'd just seen someone standing there.

by this point you were starving, tired, and developing a headache so you decided it was best to call it a night, calling your mom to tell her you were done. you stumbled out of your pointe shoes and changed into the slides you'd brought with you earlier, putting on a pair of sweats over your shorts.

ʚɞ listen to cherry!

you were practically hyperventilating backstage. today was show day, meaning all the dance recitals including your solo. you were so nervous you felt your heart would drop out of your chest.

"dude relax, it's okay. you're gonna do amazing!" lana threw her arm around you. "yeah for real, we've all seen the way you practiced you're gonna do so fucking good" your friend kailee nod her head.

so far you had danced in your hiphop performance, your class's contemporary piece and your solo was coming up after the next performance, you would be closing the recital.

you were currently dressed in a garnet red backless leotard that had a ruffled skirt like hem, white pantyhose, and a pair of white leg warmers.

your hair was slicked back in the tightest bun with a red peony hairpiece while lana helped you with your makeup after you ended up running a little late this morning. "you actually look perfect" kailee handed you a mirror.

"y/n i hope you're stretched, you're up in two minutes!" mrs jaeger came up to you. your heart dropped all over again hearing those words.

lana and kailee squealed as you got up from the ground and started heading closer to the stage.

you took deep breaths as you waited for the school director to announce your name and you walked out on to stage, waiting for the music to start.

you gracefully danced along to the song, making sure the three months of long and intense practices were evident in the way you move.

you were running on adrenaline, making your body shake before you subconsciously shut the audience out and focused on your movements.

you sharpened every kick, graced every pirouette and every spin, matched your movements with the beat and lyrics of the song.

you pretended there wasn't a crowd of people - which was easy due to the dim lights in the auditorium, you pretended it was just you in the room, you pretended it was just you practicing in front of eren while he sat on the floor of the studio and watched your every move.

you wanted to make every move perfect just for him, even if he wasn't there in the crowd. you couldn't but relate the song to your situation with him as you passionately matched the energy of the song. 'I fall to pieces when I'm with you (why?) Cause I love you so much' you memorized those lyrics throughout your practices, you dragged your right leg back behind you as you bent your body back, lowering your self to the ground to match the dramatics of the music.

you looked into the audience, tripping every so slightly when you saw eren looking back at you. he was in the front row with connie, elbows on the armrests as he held his hands in front of his mouth, studying your every move intently. 

eren had memorized these moves and knew the dance was almost over. his gaze never left you and he noticed how your foot slipped when your eyes met his. but you managed to catch yourself, he loved that about you, you always seemed to find a way to get back up.

once you heard the last beat of the song that you'd become familiar with in the last three months you ended your dance in a pose - laying sideways on the floor with one arm holding you up and the other draped over your head, your eyes didn't leave eren's as you tried to hide your heavy breaths.

you tuned back in once you heard everyone in the audience begin to clap and cheer for you. you got up from the ground, smiled, and curtseyed before leaving the stage as the curtains closed.

once you were back stage, lana and kailee hugged you and began jumping around and squealing.

"i don't know WHY you were nervous that has to be the best performance of the whole show" lana praised you. "yeah seriously everything was perfect" kailee nod her head. the other girls back stage clapped along for you too.

mrs jaeger came over to the three of you clapping her hands before reaching out to hug you. "that was beautiful y/n! i knew i made the right decision making you my soloist. every last move was so graceful, even when you tripped and made it look as though it was part of the routine" she told you.

"thank you mrs jaeger" you smiled. "such a beautiful end to such an amazing recital. you all did wonderful jobs this evening i am truly proud. everyone give yourselves a round of applause"

after taking a group picture, you all went to the dressing rooms to grab your things and meet your families in the auditorium.

you grabbed your duffel bag and put on your sneakers. "we ate every performance up oh my goddd" lana squealed as you walked to join the crowd in the audience. on the way there you bumped into mina and annie who rolled her eyes when she saw you.

"nice performance. you looked somewhat decent" she sighed. "thanks" you scoffed before walking away with lana.

for some reason it hit you hard that this would be your last performance, it was almost bittersweet. "can't believe we're leaving this place after this year" lana sighed as you entered the auditorium.

"it's crazy we're literally graduating.."

you scanned the audience for your mom before she turned around, smiling as she made her way to you. "ohhh my baby. you did so good, it was beautiful! and you had the audacity to be nervous like you weren't gonna blow the crowd away!" she hugged you and bobbed from side to side.

"you liked it?" you smiled. "i loved it!" she cheered as she gave you the bouquet of pink peonies. "yeah you actually looked really good" enya chimed in. "thanks kid" you smiled as you brought her in for a side hug.

"ohhh and lana you looked amazing up there sweetie" she pulled your friend into a hug. "every chasse every spin every move ugh you girls are perfect. you keep me young" your mom pulled you into the group hug.

"thank you so much mrs l/n" lana grinned. "oh hang on i'll see you guys later i see my dad" she told you as you all said goodbye.

mrs jaeger came over to you and your mom to congratulate you and praise your work to your mom. "she's such a wonderful dancer, i'm going to miss her next year" she turned to smile at you. "i'll always visit" you smiled.

the four of you turned around when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. your heart sank when you saw eren standing there. he wore a black polo shirt and baggy black jeans.

your mom and mrs jaeger each other a look "sweetie i'll be outside okay?" your mom told you as they stepped away.

"hey" eren stepped closer to you, reaching for a hug. "hi" you threw your arm around him pulling him into the embrace.

"you looked amazing up there" he pulled away to look at your outfit.

eren didn't tell you he was gonna be at the recital but connie brought him along.

watching you dance was always nice but watching you dance your heart out on stage was just so beautiful and encapsulating. eren couldn't get enough of you. everything about you was so graceful and beautiful all the time.

he knew he had to see you once you were done, but he was nervous considering the two of you hadn't spoken much in the last two weeks. he was shocked you even hugged him.

"thank you, did you like my solo?" you grinned. "it was fucking amazing. i don't know what you were so scared of, those practices definitely paid off." he smiled.

"they definitely did" you nod your head, a friendly gesture. "thanks for coming, i didn't think you would" you told him.

"of course i would, i was with you so much when you practiced i had to come see the final product" he smirked as he bumped your shoulder.

your mom came up behind you and put her hand on your shoulder. "hi, i'm y/n's mom" she smiled as she put her hand out for eren to shake. "hi it's nice to meet you, i'm eren" he told her.

"oh well it's nice to finally put a face to the name, i've heard so much about you" she told him and your face dropped when you realized what she meant. eren looked at you with a cocky grin on his face and you smiled before rolling your eyes.

"well it was really nice meeting you but we're gonna have to head out if we wanna make those dinner reservations" your mom turned to you. "oh right" you looked back at eren.

"seriously thanks for coming" you hugged him again and his hands lingered on your waist for a beat longer than they should've.

"of course, i'll see you later" he waved to you and your mom.

nia’s ౨ৎ notes: lmaooo can y’all tell i couldn’t wait to make them talk again

[youhideastar]

Why you should watch Story of Yanxi Palace

It seems ridiculous to do a promo post for literally the most-watched television show on the planet, but I follow a lot of accounts that post cdrama gifs, and I don't think I've ever seen a single Yanxi Palace gif, and that's a tragedy.

Story of Yanxi Palace is a 2018 period drama with 70 episodes, set in the harem of the real-life Qing Dynasty Qianlong Emperor and featuring some real-life events and characters from that period. Our heroine is Wei Yingluo, a teenager who enters the Forbidden City as a maid, seeking to solve and then avenge her sister's murder. It was a smash hit when it was released, although it was later censored. You can find it on Viki.

If you liked Nirvana in Fire, you will probably like Yanxi Palace: Wei Yingluo is very similar to Mei Changsu in all the best ways, in that she is devious, ruthless, occasionally very funny, driven by revenge, and possessed of a fundamental core of decency despite her scheming ways. She is also a fifteen-year-old girl. (At the beginning of the show, that is - the drama spans more than a decade.)

Wei Yingluo's relationship with the primary love interest, Fuca Fuheng, is also just *chef's kiss.* She suspects him of her sister's murder, tries to secretly off him a couple times, and he then confronts her about it and hands her a knife, saying, "If you really think I killed your sister, you can kill me now. I won't stop you." We've all seen this scene a dozen times in assorted movies and shows; she loves him so she can't bring herself to do it; she'll drop the knife, they'll embrace--

Reader, Wei Yingluo takes that knife and STABS HIM IN THE CHEST. She stabs him in the chest!!! How can you tell she likes him? Because he survives the experience. Barely.

After that, you think this is a Mei Changsu/Mu Nihuang pairing where there's a relatively normal person who loves their devious little meow meow--and then Fuheng turns around and gaslights Yingluo with zero remorse and you realize that this pairing is actually 100% deranged 4 deranged. The shit these two do to each other and for each other is completely unhinged. At one point, she kills his wife and the two of them never talk about it. Not before, not after, not ever. Legendary. He calls her his zhiji. They will convince you that the height of romance is marrying other people but knowing one another so deeply that you can coordinate intricate political schemes without ever communicating with each other because you can predict one another's moves with perfect accuracy.

Also, the costumes, sets, and props are ridiculously beautiful (and historically accurate!), the characters are like 20 incredibly intelligent and complex women and then like 4 hot dudes, and the score is incredible.

Is there queer rep, you ask? Nothing explicit. But there are a lot of female characters who have very intense, passionate relationships with other female characters. Also, there's a subplot where the Emperor suspects the Empress is having an affair with one of his consorts and you can see his point; finally, there's a character who is intentionally set up to have a very ambiguous sexual orientation: I think you could plausibly argue that he's ace, that he's bi, that he's gay, or that he's straight. I'm not sure even he knows.

There's a lot more to love about it, but when a show's been streamed more than 15 billion times (yes, with a b), I feel like I don't have too much to add. 😂 Give it a try!

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.177 Daredevil

It got late, and I decided we needed to wrap up the night. We were right across the street from the rental, but I didn't want to mess around and find out this city is unsafe at night. My thought was to go inside for a drink, but it was kind of crowded, so we took a bench just outside one of the entrances for my next party trick.

"You know I love you, right?" I said.

"Yes, Luca."

"And you know I'd do anything for you..."

She nodded.

"And you know-"

"Luca! Stop."

Okay, I threw that last one in there to make her laugh.

"Okay. I'll get to the point. When I bought the flowers, I saw they had all kinds of sweet treats..."

Her eyes lit up just like I thought they would.

"They had chocolate, strawberries, and all the usuals. But you know what I got?"

I pulled out the pink box, and she sat on the end of the bench, waiting anxiously to know what tantalizing goodness awaited her. I sat there for a few seconds, toying with her emotions.

"Luca, open the box!!"

I laughed so hard. Upon threat of harm, I opened the box, and she gasped.

"DONUT HOLES?!?!? You really do love me!"

Score! She clamored for the box, but I snatched it away.

"Wait, now. Let me feed you like they do in the movies."

It only took her two seconds to get all doe eyed on me and open her mouth wide.

My plan was to be funny and toss one into her mouth like a basketball, but my plan backfired. I missed her mouth. Like, entirely. It hit her in the nose and crashed down to the ground. Sophia gasped again even louder.

"Save it, Luca!!"

If I weren't trying to go after it like we didn't have eight more in the box, I would have laughed at her concern for this lone donut hole.

Needless, I let her eat her own donuts after that. No, she did not share, and that was fine by me.

The air got chilly, and Sophia wanted to get away from the breeze and go inside. That was actually perfect because I had one last trick up my sleeve. The gift shop also had all kinds of nectars from all over the worlds. Since strawberries are related to romance, I bought a bottle of strawberry nectar and poured us a glass. I don't know what they put in that stuff, but my lips got real loose. Like I said before, I'm not a romantic dude, but I sure was spitting some serious game that night. My tongue was so silver, they could give it out as an award. I didn't know I had it in me, and neither did Sophia. She was surprised at first, but she ate it all the way up.

But I didn't stop there. I went from dropping lines to kicking the hornet's nest. I should have known better than to start something I can't finish, but I just couldn't get enough of her, and it was so nice having uninterrupted time together. She, too, fought a losing battle, and I knew I needed to stop or figure out how to make this happen because there was no way we were taking this back to the house. The way we get down? Dub will never invite us anywhere again, heh. She cut her eyes at me in that way when we're about to fly to Sixam. I looked around to see if we were alone because we just might have to get arrested for public indecency.

"Closet," she said with urgency.

I looked at it with a raised eyebrow, thinking I'd rather go to jail than find out if that closet is clean or not.

"Seriously?"

"Come on! It'll be fun. No one is around anyway."

I've never turned down my wife, and I was not about to start. She always finds ways to get me to do things I've never done.

Closet woohoo!! Who knew?

[chrismcleaneatspants]

General season 2 opinions. MASSIVE TDI 2023 season 2 spoilers ahead (as well as a huge wall of text.) You've been warned.

Ok, so here's everything I like about the season (I can count them on my fingers)

-There were some funny jokes

-MKulia was entertaining and it's now in my top 5 favorite ships, but it's not perfect, as I'll explain later

-Hockey dudes were a joy to watch I suppose

-Bowie stole the show as usual

-There are a lot of neat challenges (The canoe, slide, and dog challenges was a particular stand outs to me)

-MK herself was really funny

-MacArthur's cameo was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one, and she bounces off of Chris really well

-Duncney is still broken up lol

Honestly that's about it in terms of positives, cuz I have a million other negatives for this supposed sequel to (imo) the best written season of the show.

-The Relationships were the single worst aspect about this season full stop. Ripaxel and Praleb are probably the worst couples the show has ever subjected me to. For Ripaxel, they basically removed anything interesting Ripper had going on and Axel wasn't allowed to live up to any kind of hype she created because one lame ass poem turned her into Ripper's girlfriend for the remaining duration of her run, only for the both of them to be tossed aside in episode 7 in perhaps the worst double elimination in the entire show.

-Praleb started off ok. I thought it was gonna be a one-sided crush plot initially before Episode 6. They had a couple cute moments before episode 8, of which their screentime became suffocating because afterwards is was this painful back and forth where Caleb tried explaining himself and Priya would be mad at him, then ally with him, then be mad at him again like it was so tiresome. By the time they got together in the finale again, I was wishing they had just followed up on Pramien instead. Caleb by himself was funny in the first half of season 2 and Priya was great in season 1, but the two of them together were insufferable

-Speaking of Priya, she went from one of the best characters in season 1 to one of the worst in season 2. Why did she have to make it all the way to episode fucking 12 after winning season 1?? Just for some generic heterosexual romance? They also made her so dumb with shit like knowing Julia is manipulating her but then getting a surprise Pikachu face when Julia manipulated her??? You spent your entire life preparing for this show, how the fuck did you not see this coming???

-Segwayying into Julia, she's the worst antagonist full stop. I've never seen such an absolute downgrade of a character. She was a goat in season 1 who was aware of her situation and acted accordingly because the stakes were real. Here? Reality basically warps around her just to keep her in the game. She does things characters would never fall for in season 1 and they just go with it?? They insist on keeping her in the finale and do basically nothing interesting with her. She's not even as funny as Island Heather at the end of the day.

-I mentioned MKulia earlier, so I'll just get to it here: I like it in concept. Two evil sapphics causing chaos together is really fun. My main issue is that it was very sudden. They both were not fans of each other at the end of season 1 and now I'm supposed to just believe they became friends off screen? I mean, I guess, but it's kinda cheap. I would have really liked it if it was straight up enemies to lovers ngl. Also the fact MK had very little agency outside of being Julia's lackey doesn't help either. I want to point to the fake contract thing, for instance. Why did Julia do that? That sounds like an MK thing to do.

-Time to dive into other characters: Damien is an absolute fucking tragedy. At the end of season 1, Damien had one ambition: win next season. They kinda did that, sure, but they regressed Damien into being a complete coward to do so, not to mention he didn't even go all the way either. Damien didn't get a W until episode 6 and tbh that was his only W. By the end of his tenure, I was left confused on what the point of his run was. (I'll come back to this later.)

-What was the point of Nichelle? Like seriously, what did she contribute to the season at all? They didn't do the ironic underdog story with her, and considering she was getting all egotistical and aggressive, i thought she was gonna be the antagonist for sure...until Julia got rid of her in episode 5 in a way that really shouldn't make sense cuz like Nichelle is an actual celebrity that stars in blockbuster movies, I'm pretty sure she could sniff a fake contract a mile away, right?

-Hockey dudes were great, but I felt like they were very dumbed down at times? Like they were just generic dumb dudes that just meandered around a lot of the time (Wayne in particular just straight up floated away from a challenge at one point)

-Bowie was alright too. His line delivery is great as usual, but let's not kid ourselves: In a well written season, he'd be going straight for Julia the next time his team lost. Bowraj was nice to see even if the season didn't really do a whole lot with it

-Am I the only one who thinks this season is a tad bit misogynistic? Like this is the shortest them phase the show as ever had (to the point where i'd argue teams don't really matter) and 4 of the 5 team phase boots were girls. Millie and Emma in particular were really bad. Like, you could make Millie a team phase boot without like shitting on her that hard. And Emma got like fuck all closure outside of breaking up with Chase off screen like wow, way to utilize such a high potential character, Fresh. And this is saying nothing about how the girls that did make it to the merge had plots basically dominated by romance and like nothing else. And then there's MKulia which is apparently intended to be a friendship but like is written like a romantic one at times. It gives me all-stars gwourtney vibes and (as a fan of gwourtney myself) not in a good way. At least MK and Julia were somewhat in character I guess, but they had their edges really sanded off and honestly as a friendship (situationship?) it's a complete downgrade from Millie and Priya in so many ways

-And another thing: who's the protagonist this season? Outside of Praleb, who am I supposed to care for? Who am I supposed to root for? By the halfway mark, the show doesn't really make any convincing arguments to root for like anyone there outside of maybe Damien? And he went gone in episode 10, so like, hockey dudes? No one has an interesting enough narrative for me to care.

-The immunity idol stinks as usual. Like, why did Damien do THE SAME FUCKING THING HEATHER DID IN ALL-STARS?? That actually pissed me off so much holy shit. The immunity idol as it stands in the show is basically a shitty plot device made to keep characters in as there's no real strategy revolved around it.

-Oh and another minor thing: Owen's cameo sucks, and that's entirely due to him not being physically aged up at all and just being a vehicle for the same dumb jokes they always make with him. so stupid

-Anyways, I spend an entire season with two shitass straight relationships taking up screentime, a whole multiude of potential plotlines from last season (pramien) and this season (scary girl's revenge, millie being the new ripper, damien's comeback, julia having internal conflict over her friendship (feelings?) for MK) being set up and just nothing being done with them, and characters in general just being nerfed or borderline out of character (Ripper) and what am I rewarded with?

-Soar Losers. The most boring nothing finale in the entire show. The choices for finalists suck, Wayne, while being the least bad option for a winner (and i do still like him a lot), is still a mid ass winner in the grand scheme of the entire show. And more praleb drama? fuck off I hate them so much. The challenge did not feel finale worthy at all, and honestly it was the worst challenge in the whole season. On top of being a bunch of nothing, the show decides to bring back the worst trope it ever had: losing hair as karma. I almost ragequit the episode on the spot that shit makes me so irrationally mad. I think it's even worse here because Julia still had hair after the fact, which makes it seem like they were aware it's not a popular TD trope but wanted to half commit to it anyways for the sake of tradition or something. Terrible finale to an already decently sized letdown of a season, but it has some ok MKulia moments I guess. The finale was just emblematic of the entire season, where things just happen and you're just expected to go along with everything. (Also side note how come Chase wasn't the one to jump off of the cart for pizza immediately?)

TL;DR reboot season 2 imo was a step down in every conceivable way from season 1 apart of i guess comedy and it's left a very sour taste in my mouth. I'm probably missing a few points that I'll add onto later but man it feels nice putting my opinion out there.

[anavatazes]

Hi. *shuffles feet* Been a while. Might still be a bit yet before I start posting regularly again. Long of the short? Had a bit of mental break and needed a break. Slowly easing my way back into things. Slowly.

Obligatory picture of Mara, taking the youngest to school. Her favorite thing, next to eating ❤️.

Anyway, heart is still in a stranglehold by Joel. Pedro as Joel is NOT helping, as he does 😏.

And what really prompted this, was one of my original heartbreakers from when I was a teen, in combination with one of my most favorite characters in comics are coming together again to expand on their time together in the Savage Land 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠.

Is it January yet 🤤🤤?

Uncanny X-Men 269, 274 & 275 were my favorites when they came out. Rogue was already my favorite character among Storm and Nightcrawler, but this story really captured her essence. She was depowered, just arrived out of Siege Perilous, no one else around, and is attacked by the Mauraders. She uses Gateway's ability to escape but ends up in the land of dinos, fighting Carol Danvers, and being saved by the missing Magneto?! Who Jim Lee really could draw 🤤🫠. It's a great story, and I recommend it.

And now, this January, they are revisiting that story to fill in some gaps. I do hope they don't do any retcons. There is enough hate from Rogue/Gambit shippers as it is, that if they even get a hint of Magneto anywhere near Rogue, they explode. It's like, dude, fucking chill. Gambit has been the end game all along. We all knew it from the moment the Cajun first laid eyes on her. They are married now. If ya'll don't stop, I'm gonna start hating a favorite couple of mine... and it's not the one you want.

Also, no retcons in this, because, well, Magneto is the king of retcons, and I am tired of it. The major being his children Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. Sorry, not sorry, you cannot still draw Pietro like Max, and say Max did not birth that boy. Nope. Even acts like him, still. It's Max Eisenhardt, Jr. So, no retcons. Don't cheapen the Legacy romance nor ruin things in the ROMY world.

Seeing more of Magneto helping Rogue figure out what is wrong with her powers, please! The man is a fucking genius. Self-taught in so much, too! Let the man show off! Part of what makes him so hot 🔥.

I want to see Colossus' son. Other than a blip here and there, we saw him last in the 80s, I think? Even if it's in passing with the tribes Ka-zar and Shanna are helping, just something!!!! The X-Men know he’s there. WTF happened to him?! This would be perfect for it.

Zaladane. More backstory, please. We were never given 100% yea or nea if she is, in fact, another of Magneto's children or what her exact connection to Polaris is. Not sure what I want, other than closure. This is as close to a return for the character as we're gonna get, and I will enjoy every minute.

I read a good chunk of Tim Seeley's run on Nightwing, and he's good. There is hope that this just won't be a wet dream of a scantily clad chick with two half nekkid guys and dinosaurs! Dick Grayson is a pretty complex character, as are Rogue and Magneto, so I feel they are in good hands.

As a few who are reading this know, I've been looking for pre-order information. I still haven't found any. But I did find an exact release date for issue #1 -

January 15, 2025. It's already on my calendar. I will probably blow my husband's mind and buy both digital and physical on this straight away. I always get digital on the Kindle and use the points I earn to buy more digital, which saves me tons of $$$$. Then, I will buy the TPB or individual issues of the books I want. It's rare I go straight in. But I want more Rogue stories, and this is how you get more Rogue stories.

Hope all that was understandable. Thanks to a stupid change in insurance, I am without one of my meds, and I am feeling it. Lack of sleep, high anxiety levels, and a breakthrough migraine that won't stop. I may not have been all that coherent 😄. Anyway, love you bitches. I am making my way back. Slowly.

[he-thaang]

Care to share your thoughts on how Arcane ended? I'm dying to talk about it with someone!

(Also, I sincerely apologize that this is the first ask I've sent you)

Hey Bay! Thanks so much for the ask! I love hearing from you :)

I have so many thoughts about the Arcane ending. Let's go episode by episode, because there's just so much to unpack.

Episode 7 is my favorite episode in the entire series, I think. I have no notes. Ekko has been my favorite character since season 1, and I was thrilled to see the show finally give him the focus he deserves. Painting the mural of Vi, bonding with Heimerdinger, the doomed romance with the alternate version of Powder that allowed him to understand Jinx better--my god. So good. The scene where Ekko and Powder were dancing was definitely one of my favorite scenes ever.

And poor Jayce--my dude spent the whole episode in the trenches. But I thought the writers did a really great job with him this episode. His leg injury mirroring Viktor's, realizing that maybe he overstepped a bit too far with Hextech, all that fun stuff. The funniest part of the episode, though, was when Heimerdinger and Ekko were all prepped to go home, and then at the last possible second, Heimer LEAPS out of the wild rune and is like "Be back in a jiffy, my boy :)" and then gets himself blown up. He couldn't have done all that stuff before the process started? Poor guy. He exploded twice in the span of 40 minutes :(

All in all, loved the episode. I'm home from college, so as soon as I finished watching it, I SPRINTED up to my little sister (who also watches the show) and started gushing about how well-written it was.

Episode 8 is where things went a little off the rails, IMO. I was so glad to see Mel again, and was very excited to see where they went with her plot line. (My League of Legends knowledge is limited strictly to Arcane, so I'm probably missing out on a lot of lore here, which is why I Did Not Understand What Was Going On.) Act II had this whole big reveal where Ambessa had a third kid, and I got the impression that that kid was the person who kidnapped Mel? But we never got into that, or why Mel was so attuned with the Arcane. That really disappointed me. I LOVED her new look, though.

Jayce and Viktor interacted again after the attempted murder, and something LGBT happened between them. It appeared that their whole conflict now revolved around the idea of perfection, which Viktor claimed he could create with the help of the Arcane. And Jayce is all like, "My partner (no homo), you're making a bunch of mindless soldiers with no personality and stuff." And then they fight. Jayce was very unfair to Mel this episode, so I'm glad they had a heart-to-heart later.

Now onto the issue of Jinx, Vi, and Caitlyn. Jinx was done so dirty this act omg. Also, there was literally no mention of Isha??? What happened there? She was completely blown up, but Vander/Warwick walked away totally fine? The only real indication that she ever existed was Jinx's grief, but even that seemed sidelined in favor of Vi and Cait. That sex scene was WILD, guys. I would have liked to have a scene where Cait apologizes to Vi for the way she acted, and how she got so caught up in the idea of avenging her mother that she forgot to view the members of the Undercity as people. BUT WHATEVER. The sex scene will do. If Mel and Jayce get to have one, Cait and Vi do too. Hashtag love wins.

On to Episode 9. What a time to be alive. The fight scenes were superbly animated, as always, but I felt there was something lacking. The central conflict wasn't really well explained (but I was also watching this at 1 am, so my brain was probably fried). I liked the scene where Caitlyn and Mel team up, but Ambessa's death was a bit wonky to me. There was a lot of stuff about foxes and wolves that did't really leave an impact on me.

Ekko kicked ass, as always. My dude knew what he was doing. Viktor and Jayce were being gay in the Hex Vault. I did really enjoy the scene where the mage that saved Jayce's mother's life was revealed to be Viktor. I'm a sucker for those kinds of plot twists. And Viktor's monologue about Jayce being the only person in every timeline who helps him realize that total perfection was meaningless had me kicking my feet and giggling. I desperately want to know where they ended up after destroying the wild rune.

Vi and Jinx--this was where I was most disappointed. The show is supposed to revolve around their relationship, but they were sidelined so hard in favor of other things. And I was so mad about Jinx's "death". Just when it seems that things are turning around for a former villian-turned ally character, (cough Shane cough), they end up getting themselves killed for no reason. Vi could have so easily moved off that ledge. Jinx's death (or not death, it wasn't really clear) felt very last minute. Their whole relationship this season has been about the two of them accepting that they both have changed, but that doesn't mean they can't love each other in a new way. Jinx's death felt like an easy way to avoid all these lingering feelings. And Vander was just in his beast form the whole time, with no indication that his mind was still there.

Overall, I still think Arcane is a spectacular show, but Arc III felt a bit rushed and stilted. It was a wild ride, but it left me a bit unsatisfied. I'll still miss the show and the characters a lot.

Thanks for sending this in again, Bay! Feel free to pop into my ask box any time :) I loved writing this, and would love to hear your thoughts as well. Hopefully my ramblings are understandable. Have a great day!

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: The Other Side of Disappearing by Kate Clayborn

4.25/5. Releases 3/26/24.

Vibes: true crime podcasts (critical), soft hero/hard heroine, complicated families, and dropping those defenses even when it's hard

Heat Index: 6/10

Ten years ago, Jess and Tegan's mother disappeared--with her con artist boyfriend Lynton Baltimore, made famous by a popular podcast. Now, the podcast's creator is on their doorstep with her protegee, Adam. They want to find Lynton; and Jess and Tegan could be their key. The last thing Jess wants to do after raising her sister on her own is go down this rabbit hole. But if Tegan is going, so is she; and as they unravel their mother's secrets, Jess finds herself more exposed than she's ever been before... and, even more horrifyingly, opening up to Adam (and his massive shoulders, perfect for crying into).

I was a little worried by the premise of this book. Don't get me wrong, it's a great idea--but was it going to be women's fiction? The answer: nope! This is a great example of how to write a book that has a big plot, and has well-developed characters beyond the two leads... while still being a romance. That's something that used to be way more of a norm, but I've noticed lately that it seems to have become all or nothing. You're either all focus on the leads, no plot and paper-thin supporting characters, or the romance gets crumpled up and it's women's fiction. (Which is fine! Women's fiction is fine! It's just generally not my thing.)

Trust Kate Clayborn to give you all the feelings about EVERYONE involved, along with a thought-provoking and twisty-turny concept, while never sacrificing the strength of the love story. I was so invested in Adam, a truly good dude who isn't without his own sore spots, slowly worming his way into Jess's heart. And Jess is simply a great heroine--wounded and tough and a bit angry but also desperately holding it together for the sister she's raised. I loved watching them fall in love. In fact, this is probably my favorite Kate Clayborn book so far.

Quick Takes:

--I am very vocal about finding a lot of good guy heroes boring, and that is because "good" often seems to translate into "perfect" or "completely toothless". Adam is a great example of how to write a good guy hero correctly. Kate Clayborn generally knows how to write about good people who aren't perfect and are compelling.

Here, Adam is essentially a gentle giant with great intentions in the long term... Who still compromises his morals initially. (Not for long! and I would say that she could've pushed him to compromise those morals for a bit longer, but I get it.) And he doesn't always handle everything perfectly, and he's not always smooth, and he's interesting and hot and kind of the boyfriend I feel is ideal without being PERFECT.

Also: his ears go pink when he's embarrassed, and he is definitely a bit embarrassed about his Bigness. Like, he's always bumping into shit because he's so Big, and that's embarrassing, you guys!!! This is. So important to me.

--I'm so into the Eldest Daughter Syndrome Stuff, as an eldest daughter. Jess and Tegan's relationship is so great, sitting in that space between parent and sibling, and at a really awkward point (as Tegan just turned eighteen). I found Jess deeply relatable, and her prickliness makes perfect sense... while still getting in her way.

Honestly, Jess's character growth is the type of thing I don't think heroines are allowed to do enough? It's introspective and difficult, and I absolutely loved where we ended up.

--There's a supporting character, original podcast creator/Adam's mentor Salem, who went in some really different directions. I kind of loved having a character who was like... not malevolent, but not wholly good, too? Who was selfish, and not an ideal parent, and a LADY?

In general, the commentary on true crime fandom stuff and podcasting is so good. I think we've definitely reached this point where true crime podcasts have really dipped heavily into exploitation. Of course there are good ones! But let us be real. I loved the way that she confronted this being both a story and Jess and Tegan's lives. And, in addition, how knowing that early on conflicts with Adam's sense of morality.

--As a random note... I've noticed recently that a lot of romance novels, even those by people I so love, have parents do some really shitty stuff, and then shove in this reconciliation with their kids at the end. I think this has to do with the need for an HEA. But like. You can have an HEA that involves acknowledging that your parent is shitty and doesn't deserve forgiveness. Trust.

All I'll say is that I really loved how Clayborn handled the parent stuff in this book.

The Sex:

Kate Clayborn always leans more towards the romantic than the explicit in her sex scenes, though they are open door. There are a few scenes in this book, and they're reeeeally sensual. I loved the way she wrote the dialogue during sex scenes, and like, the sexiness of Jess and Adam sneaking around on this road trip with her teenage sister right there. Ooh, it was hot.

Insightful, romantic, and challenging in some ways, The Other Side of Disappearing really impressed me. I already liked Kate Clayborn, and this only made me more excited about her future work.

Thanks to NetGalley and Kensington for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m bisexual or if I’m a lesbian. I like the idea of a man, but when I’ve tried to peruse them OR like them. I feel awful?? Last year I thought I had a crush on a boy, but after he held my hand I had a full breakdown. I felt like I was going to be trapped forever to him. Or that I have to end up marrying him or something which sounds silly, all he did was hold my hand. But I ended up crying in the middle of the grocery store afterwards. Like I saw my whole life flash before me.

I know I have an interest in girls, because girls are very pretty. I love just about everything about them, but also I find it hard to vocalize that. My family is very accepting but I wouldn’t say there gonna be waving any flags soon. I don’t know I feel awkward most days. No one is FORCING me to like boys, and sometimes I do. Sometimes I like them as much as I like girls. But I can’t tell if it’s natural or if it’s because I feel like I have to like them.I don’t know maybe I’m just weird.

Do you know any outsider character who would go through this? Whether it’s in the canon timeline or like the genderbend one? Maybe they can help me.

Holy shit I feel like past me just sent me an ask wanting advice from current me.

Anon, let me tell you a little story. I've been a romantic all my life. First year of uni I met a dude who was the first guy to ever truly express interest in me. We went on a few dates, he gave me a chaste kiss, everyone in my friend group thought we were sooooo cute together.

I liked it for maybe 2 days. Then this horrible, gut wrenching PANIC started welling in my gut. He was and still is a very sweet, very gentle man. I wasn't scared OF him, but scared of being WITH him. The only way I can describe it is pure revulsion. I didn't want him near me. I didn't wanna touch him. And we weren't even official. All this happened in the span of like. two weeks. But it felt wrong. So wrong. As soon as I told him we were better off as friends it was like this huge weight lifted off of me.

Sometimes I see guys and I think they're cute. Sometimes I think they're attractive. Every time I go on a date with one or one flirts with me that same wave of revulsion rears it's ugly head, usually within 24 hours.

I haven't experienced the same with women, but I'm also stupid and didn't realize the one date I went on with a woman was actually a date (rip) and then she ghosted me (fair). I'm fully aware that it's possible that when being faced with dating a woman I might feel exactly the same way, in which case I'm going to have to really consider I might be aromantic as well as asexual. Now, I don't know if this applies to you too but it might. I have never and will never desire anyone sexually, full stop, but right now I think I might never want to date anyone either. And I'm okay with that. I haven't fully ruled girls out yet. Maybe Ill find a woman and start dating her and it'll be perfect (i think it's worth saying Im more consistently and strongly attracted to women than I ever have been to men.) maybe I won't. Maybe the feelings I've had in the past for men have been comphet rather than genuine attraction. I also don't know. That's ok. You also don't need to know, anon. It's really ok. Attraction in all ways is so fucking weird. Its hard to figure out.

As for outsiders characters: I think my aroace queen Evie felt a lot of the same feelings as you before she figured herself out, but she's happy with her best friend Steve and her family whom she's very close to. She watches relationships around her crumble and feels like she kind of lucked out not feeling any feelings of romance

Sylvia, my lesbian queen, spent a lot of time wondering if she was actually into men before she realised she just felt like she should.

Susie Mathews wondered if she was a lesbian for a while before she realized she genuinely does like men too, just has a preference for women.

[quinnmorgendorffer]

#no bc Tony is literally looking at him with the biggest heart eyes and it’s just so incredible?? brings to mind thag post I saw a few days#ago. and I gotta find it again. but it’s basically like the fact that gob is the bluth who is repeatedly said to be unlovable. the one who#is the most difficult. and yet HE is the one who ends up with this epic Shakespearean true love story. not Michael whose romances are more#plot driven and such but GOB who is over and over shown to have fail romances thag he’s not not that invested in either way#and I love that sm. me watching seasons 1-4 is like. gob is my favorite but also an ass but I still love him. s5 is me being all gob has#done nothing wrong ever/deserves only nice things. and I’ll admit I want to give him nice things in 1-4 as well but this whole development#really hits in such a satisfying way. he was willing to run away- to leave the family- for and with Tony. smth Michael always tries to do#and fails. and again that alongside his romances being not as pivotal as gobs is so interesting to me#i could be wrong but it’s the feeling that Michael HAD his grand true life changing love story already- and it was Tracey. and the loss of#of Tracey haunts him still- nearly every romantic relationship Michael has after is haunted by her.

omg i don't think I ever saw these tags before but I'm losing it omg. Gob, despite seeming to neve rhave a permanent residence with his family (remember how they didn't even know where he lived in the s3 finale? lmao), really never expressed an interest in leaving them. He planned on it in s1 during "My Mother the Car", but as soon as he realized Michael couldn't have been the cause of the accident, he decided to ditch his plans and basically save his brother. He does bad things to his family at times, sure, but he still helps them when needed in his own way, and clearly just wants them to love and respect him. Gob Love Family.

So, yes, him really being ready to leave his family? That means everything. I've talked way too much and yet never enough about how PERFECT of a romance Blunder is and I just will never get over how a silly little plot on a sitcom really is just such a profound and true romance of Shakespearan levels.

And, okay,I have to say that I find the psychology of all the characters fascinating already, but Michael and his love life truly make it even more fascinating to me. Partially because I have so many random headcanons about him and Tracey, or at least a lot I've written in fic about the two of them meeting and falling in love, but how could I NOT with how they wrote all of it? Like, Tracey truly DOES seem to be the ~epic love story~ of his life.

He literally shoots himself in the foot every time he tries to move on from her, since I don't think he literally ever can/will - maybe, deep down, he doesn't WANT to. Even with Rebel, one of the very first things he said was "my dead wife had red hair". Doesn't sound like moving on behavior, my dude!!!

And Rebel made it clear she didn't want or do committed relationships, yet he still pursued her anyway, maybe partially only because of the above mentioned reminder of Tracey. Of all his love interests, the only ones he seemed to have a chance with were Marta, Sally, and Rita. The Rita stuff is its own loaded issue i refuse to touch with a ten foot pole lol. But with Marta, he first almost ruined it by not just talking to her honestly when Gob thought she was cheating, which, if he really cared for her as much as he was convinced he did, he would've realized that was obviously not the sort of person she was. And even when they first start connecting, the narrator says that it was basically the first time he had been alone with a woman since his wife died and like...how much of that was him genuinely being in love with her and how much was it just the first time he even tried to connect with a woman since Tracey died?

And with Sally, oof. Finally got the girl and blew it instantly because of Maggie Lizer. Sally herself even pointed out how it was clearly him being unable to handle being in a relationship iirc. He literally just could not handle it. Part of it was being a martyr, sure, but much of it was just because he wouldn't allow himself to be happy. I have so much headcanon over his romance with Tracey, but since it was implied that he had a crush on her since, like, middle school with a throwaway line, he seemed afraid to live in another house properly without her (hence him and GM living in the attic of the model home), and a whole bunch of small little moments...man, I do think that was his epic love story and always will and would be.

[sammywinchesterisalesbian]

my spn hot takes

Rewatching spn made me realize some things lol

john wasn't like... a bad parent??? he didn't do the best job he could, but he was also grieving and he'd just found out that the things that go bump in the night are real and yeah he fucked up sometimes but everyone does

dean was verbally and physically abusive to sam, jack, and cass

cass was not a hero and he was kind of a bad person. he broke sam's wall and drove him insane, he killed a bunch of people when he was "god," the leviathan arc of s7 was his fault, and he blamed sam for the apocalypse even though it was the angels who wanted it and he didn't care that dean broke the first seal even though both brothers unknowingly contributed to its start

dean was correct that they should have killed jack when he was born. he was an extremely powerful being with no knowledge of morals or control. he could have destroyed the whole world and killed countless people, as demonstrated in s14 and s15 when he was soulless. this doesn't mean that i don't love jack or that i agree with dean's treatment of him, just that dean's reasoning made sense.

it didn't make any sense that chuck became the villain. there was never any indication that chuck was malevolent or that he wanted sam and dean to suffer before the end of s14.

anyone who watched s15 and still shipped d*stiel or thought that the show was about anything other than the relationship between the brothers missed the whole point of the show. to add to that, the finale was their perfect ending. yes, it hurt to watch. knowing the permanence of dean's final death was painful, but the whole show was leading up to that. i will say that sam not going off the rails was a bit ooc considering all of dean's other deaths and i do think it would have made more sense for him to die young because he doesn't want to live without his brother. sam not looking for dean during the purgatory year made no sense.

sam was right to be angry after gadreel. dean took his bodily autonomy.

dean was never meant to have a romantic relationship with anyone. he never really understood the concept of loving someone other than sam. that isn't to say that he didn't care about other people because he did, but his whole schtick is "look out for sammy." love, for him, means sam. the two things are synonymous.

sam was fucking unhinged.

sam was always far more queercoded than dean, and people who use dean's misogyny and toxic masculinity as "proof" of dean's bisexuality are the ones who are homophobic, not the people who say that he isn't bi. sam, on the other hand, dated amy. amy was his first girlfriend, and he could never tell john or dean about her because she wasn't human. she could never tell her mom because sam was human. she literally shoved him into a closet when her mom got home. dean killed her because she wasn't human. sera gamble said herself that she intentionally queercoded sam. dean is canonically a homophobe ("dude can you be any gayer").

ship culture is toxic. i've stopped shipping in general and i prefer qpr ships instead.

d*stiel never made sense, and even if sam and dean weren't brothers, w*ncest wouldn't work. it would still be toxic af (as demonstrated by their whole relationship as brothers).

sam and dean were soulmates in the platonic sense. their whole world revolves around each other and their relationship and love for one another.

supernatural was about family, never romance.

the spn prequel makes no sense with canon.

[filmmakerdreamst]

your top 5 dasey episodes?💕

1. Home Movies

OK. Their fight at the beginning screams UST (and also kickstarts the episode)

Casey is trying to interview Derek about the family and he surprisingly gets really pissed at her. They fight alot in this show, but this is the first time he legitimately shouts at her while being dead serious/visably hurts her feelings and vice versa.

He's clearly mad that she left him out of something that deeply effects him. Hes never been good at expressing feelings which leads to him bottling them up and letting them out in an unhealthly way (sometimes I feel this dude needs more therpy than Casey). Even though, he likes his new step-family, he still had no say in the matter at the end of the day e.g. This is not a picture perfect family Casey, this is a mess of a family thats making the best of a contrived situation.

And its very obvious to me, that he clearly loves her by this point, and he resents the fact that he does. e.g. 'My Dads decisions put me in this mess'

It gave me a slight reminder of 'Flowers in the Attic' (even though thats a totally different kettle of fish) where the two eldest siblings fall in love with eachother because of the situation they are forced under by their parents (i.e. emotional neglect etc)

And the ending scene where they playfight over a video of Derek filming her brushing her teeth, is like my favourite moment between them ever. Its so cute and touchy feely and full of love. I tell you, in another situation, this would end in sex. (not even sorry right now)

2. Adios Derek

This could be my top favourite (if it wasn't for 'Home Movies') because it just shows how much Derek is obssessed with his step-sister, to the point that hes told hes going to be sent away to another continent.

The thing he pranks Casey about is strangely specific. Hes just found out she keeps a poetry column. He hacks her computer, and changes the poem she writes - to a limmick that he wrote. I dono - its just a little weird if he doesn't have feelings for her.

Also possibly my favourite moment is at the end of the episode, where he gives her an advanced copy of the school paper (without being asked) where he had her real poem published, along side funny poetry that he wrote about her. Thats peak romance for me.

3. Things that Go Bump in the Night

This episode is such a choatic mess OMG. The way Casey is eager to impress Derek by sneaking out with him. Their married bicker in the car -- which leads to them denting the other car. Them acting like 'a couple' who might get found out by the rest of the family. I love every bit of it. I've said this before but its almost like a G rated version of them going on a date secretly and the family finding out.

4. March Break

Very Obvious Choice. But come on. Why did George and Nora leave them alone together?

I just think its funny how this episode has a contrast of the family road trip vs Derek and Casey at home, circling each other, reinacting 'Creul Intentions'.

It just shows how the show genre is split in half. There's the family-friendly comedy of George and Nora and Lizzie, Edwin and Marti. And theres the whatevers going on with Derek and Casey. They are an genre in itself (heh heh)

5. Dinner Guest

I love this episode for the primal reason that he calls Casey's Dad back after seeing Casey upset. I feel this is one of those pivotal moments in their relationship. And he's not even there when Casey's Dad comes back, which means he didn't even want the credit. He just wanted to see her happy. Great character development for Derek.

[thevindicativevordan]

You've mentioned it before a handful of times, bit do you have any in-depth thoughts on JMS' tenure on Spider-Man? Were you fan of the more mystical stories?

Huge fan, it was my gateway into 616 Spider-Man. All the best and worst facets of Spider-Man, and his handling by Marvel, can be found here.

The highs are some of the best in the franchise's history. Within this run we get a Peter Parker who really does feel like an adult. He's mature, wanting to help guide the next generation by being a teacher. He solves conflicts with his brain as well as his fists, gets angry as hell, but also never loses touch with the source of compassion that makes him a hero. Drama and comedy flow smoothly together, this run has the second best handle on Peter's "voice", only beaten by the original Lee/Dikto/Romita Sr. run. Incorporating some mystical elements into Peter's origin didn't bother me as I saw it as a cool attempt at widening the scope of Spider-Man's adventures, and Ezekiel was an interesting character who stood as an example of what Peter could have been if he had never lost his uncle. We didn't get as many stories with the classic Spidey Rogues as I would have liked, but I enjoyed stories like Peter and Doc Ock briefly teaming up, or Spidery having to deal with Doom and Loki.

Romita Junior isn't to everyone's taste but he was born to draw Spider-Man, and not just because of his dad. Nobody else can capture the visuals of dudes getting the absolute shit hammered out of each other when they're fighting, an aesthetic perfect for Spider-Man. Morlun outlived JMS' run when not many expected him too partly because Romita Jr. sold you that this guy was a big deal, that he pushed Spider-Man to his limits in a way few other Rogues had ever done. Kid me reading this run for the first time was legitimately shocked and scared when I saw Spidey all torn up and bleeding after going a few rounds with Morlun. Love Romita Jr.'s art, he's as perfect a match for Spider-Man as his dad was.

Peter’s relationships with the traditional women in his life have never been better than this run either.

Both Aunt May and Mary Jane have regressed since this run hard. JMS had Aunt May outright tear apart the bullshit argument that her knowing Peter's secret would be "too much" for her, by pointing out that May has been through so much pain and loss already and kept going. I loved the mother-son relationship between the two here, May here is everything that people pretend the Kents are for Superman. She's a source of wisdom that doesn't feel hokey, a foundation of strength that gives Peter the ability to stand up again when he's been kicked down. Hate it so much that they reverted to her not knowing and only existing as a cheap source of drama for Peter again.

Meanwhile the Peter/MJ relationship? Odd as it might be to say it's never been better than it was here. The two of them are funny, constantly trading banter with each other. When they're hurt they'll cry and talk about how they feel without devolving into shouting matches or blaming each other. Two of them are sexy too, constantly flirting with each other and letting you know that these are two young people in total love with one another. There's a maturity in this relationship that I've yet to see in any other Spider-Man romance, a shared sense of history that binds the two of them together in ways that make you understand why people lost their minds when Marvel broke them up. This is the run that sold me on MJ as Peter's soulmate, ironic I know, but I'm not alone in that view I've found.

Most impactful part of the run for me might surprise you. It's not when he gets the shit beat out of him by Morlun, terrifying as that is. It's not when he travels through time and has to fight through every battle he's ever fought amazing though that might be. It's not even when he gets to meet Uncle Ben again, despite that never failing to make me tear up. Instead it's the story right before One More Day where Peter has to commit a series of felonies in order to keep Aunt May safe because his identity is public knowledge and everyone is gunning for him now. That small story where Peter is internally keeping track of every crime he has to commit, and the jail time that would come with it if he gets caught, is peak Spider-Man to me. Nothing else has ever hit as hard in terms of showing how Peter's heroic identity just destroys his personal life, but his love for his aunt and Mary Jane give him the strength to push forward.

Which of course brings us to the bad, and the bad is on par with the Clone Saga in terms of being some of the worst Spider-Man stories ever. You want to see Marvel's obsession with keeping Peter young at it's dumbest? Here's the run where he sells his marriage to Satan. You want to see some examples of Quesada letting writers take wild swings because it would grab attention? Here's the run where Gwen cucks Peter with Norman Osborn and then plans on lying to Peter that he's the father of her twins. People claim that Superman is hard to write, but the sheer volume of outright GARBAGE I've seen published in Spider-Man's books have convinced me that is a claim more true of Spider-Man than any other character. How the most popular Marvel character, and likely the most popular superhero period, is constantly suffering under terrible, regressive storytelling baffles me.

The JMS era was an era where Spider-Man was moving forward only to end by regressing and freezing him into place, a status quo that has essentially held true ever since. Do I recommend his run? Yeah I do because for all the dross, this run even now contains many all time great Spider-Man moments, and this is the run that even now delineates where modern Spider-Man "begins". Whether those are enough to outweigh the negatives are ultimately going to be up to the reader, but much like Morrison for Batman, JMS and Quesada are the definitive modern Spider-Man creators for better and for worse.

[whimsicaldragonette]

Blog Tour: Love on the Brain by Ali Hazelwood

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Publication Date: August 23, 2022

Welcome to the Love on the Brain book tour with Berkley Publishing Group. (This blog tour post is also posted on my Wordpress book review blog Whimsical Dragonette.)

Synopsis:

LOVE ON THE BRAIN introduces readers to neuroscientist Bee Königswasser, who lives her life by a simple motto: What would Marie Curie do? If NASA offered her the leading role on a neuroengineering project—a literal dream come true after years scraping by on the crumbs of academia—Marie would accept without hesitation. Duh! But the mother of modern physics never had to co-lead alongside an engineer who also happens to be her archnemesis. Levi Ward made his feelings toward Bee very clear in grad school – he hated her, plain and simple. But when Bee is faced with one career dilemma after the next, it seems the tables may be turning. Perhaps it’s her occipital cortex playing tricks on her, but Bee could swear she can see Levi softening into an ally… or maybe even something more?

Author Bio:

Hazelwood draws on her own experience as a professor of neuroscience to capture the cutthroat world of higher education, both “the agony and the ecstasy” of academia. Hazelwood’s stories are also heavily influenced by pop culture as The Love Hypothesis was originally conceived as Star Wars fanfiction. Her novels are perfect for readers who geek out over rom-coms, and for fans of Emily Henry and Helen Hoang.  

My Rating: ★★★★★

My Review and Favorite Quotes below the cut.

My Review:

What I love most about this book - as I did with the Love Hypothesis - is how faithfully Ali Hazelwood portrays academia and science; specifically, what it's like to be a woman in STEM. It's even more prominent in this book, and I immediately feel such a kinship with Bee and the other characters. It's almost visceral, this sense of belonging. Having attended a predominantly male STEM school it's all so, SO familiar. I loved the You've Got Mail -esque premise, and greatly enjoyed watching it play out. It is inevitable from the beginning what will happen, but it's the journey that's the important part in this story. In such a story, everything hangs on the characters. Her characters feel so real, so very human and alive. And the precision with which she skewers certain types of people in STEM is astonishing. I was wholly invested for every moment of the story. The sex scenes were decent, I think. Not the best I've ever read, perhaps, but then I'm not really a good judge of sex scenes, since I'd honestly prefer it if they all disappeared and tend to skim them. I have a feeling that a lot of people will really like them, and that's what matters. They were different than a lot of the ones I've read before which is something. It's clear that Ali Hazelwood is very keen on the small woman/hulking dude dynamic which... is not my thing. But again, I'm pretty sure a lot of people will really enjoy it. I personally appreciated Levi's sensitivity and wit and general decentness more. Contrary to Bee's initial impression of him, he's definitely the sort of guy I would want to get to know. Similarly, I really want to get to know Bee. And Rocio and Kaylee and Reike (even though she's only present through phone calls). And Lily and Penny... basically everyone. They're unique and chaotic and quirky and charming and just... the sort of people you would want to know and have in your life. Sometimes when I'm reading I find that the characters' struggles aren't really relevant to me, or sometimes not even plausible. Not the case here. I was with these characters every step of the way and firmly on their team through all their struggles and joys. And that is one of the things I love most about reading romance, and why this became an instant favorite. *Thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing Group for providing an e-arc for review.

Favorite Quotes:

The real villain is love: an unstable isotope, constantly undergoing spontaneous nuclear decay.

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Levi became my sworn archenemy on a Tuesday in April, in my Ph.D. advisor’s office.

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Science doesn’t give a shit. Science is reliable in its variability. Science does whatever the fuck it wants. God, I love science.

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I take off my sandals and push my legs against the dashboard, hoping Levi won’t take offense at my bright yellow nail polish and my incredibly ugly pinkies. I call them the Quasimotoes.

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I now know more about body decomposition and makeup palettes than I thought I ever would, but I regret nothing. This is almost nice.

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Rocio rummages in her jeans pocket and offers him an unwrapped, slightly squished red gumball. “Thank you. This is…” He looks at the gum. “A thing that I now have.”