#I've been struggling to draw them for a while now but I'M FINALLY GETTING THE HANG OF IT YAY

[saltsig]

can we pretend none of S2 ever happened

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Afternoon Appointments

Warnings: SMUT. THIS IS BASICALLY JUST SMUT AND ONLY SMUT AND I WON'T BE TAKING QUESTIONS. MINORS DNI.

There is some fluff. Mated Eris and Reader. Unprotected sex (male and female receiving). Voyeurism. *Breeding?* they're trying to make an heir for the court so it's spice with the intent of getting pregnant. Also mentions of infertility and struggles to get pregnant. Oral, vaginal, fingering, take your pick.

Word Count: 6,201 - my bad.

Honestly, I just wanted to write something a little spicy since I've been drowning in the slow burns, but now I'm considering making this a shorter story as a slow burn palette cleanser, but it depends on how you all like it!

Summary: Eris, your mate, catches you between both of your court duties and is keen on ensuring that no time is wasted between the two of you. After being mated over a decade, you've been trying to conceive an heir, unsuccessfully and are hoping this delightful afternoon reprieve might finally be the ticket.

SMUT BELOW THIS LINE. BE AWARE.

Initially, you didn’t notice him as you walked at a brisk pace through the open-air walkways of the grand Autumn Court Manor. Your thoughts were consumed by the myriad of responsibilities you had planned for the rest of the day—consultations with court advisors to deliberate over a diplomatic journey to the Summer Court, sifting through an overwhelming stack of letters from neighboring villagers requesting a ceremonial visit from you and your mate for the anticipated harvest, and enduring the relentless pleas from courtiers eager to propose another extravagant party that you had little desire to attend.

Your mind was a whirlwind of tasks, repeating them quietly to yourself as to not forget to add them to the ever-growing to-do list in your office that you were oblivious to the familiar intoxicating aroma of woodsmoke and cinnamon that heralded the approach of your mate. Eris.

He was drawing near from the opposite end of the hall, yet your eyes were nearly glued to the ground as you continued to mull over how you were going to respond to the multitude of letters.

You collided with a solid wall of muscle, a soft “oomph” escaping your lips as you stumbled back, your cheeks flushing. “Oh my, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even—”

You looked up, finally realizing who you had so unexpectedly bumped into. Eris was towering over you, gazing down with a teasing smile emerging from him. His lips curled slightly, just enough to reveal a hint of his teeth, while his amber eyes shimmered, capturing the sunlight and making them look like threads of gold spun through them.

You let out a playful scoff, stepping back with a lazy grace.

“No, no,” Eris teased, his voice dripping with charm. “Please, do continue with your heartfelt apology for so boldly running into me.”

You rolled your eyes, a small snort escaping you as you shook you head and then lifted your head back to look at him again. “Oh, believe me, I am soooo deeply sorry for my transgression, my lord,” you drawled, your voice riddled with mock sincerity.

Eris released a rich, velvety laugh that resonated from deep within his chest. “Naturally, my lady,” he replied.

Your eyes fell to the floor as you brushed back the stray strands of hair that cascaded into your face. Eris seemed to sense the immediate shift in your mood. “But honestly, is everything alright, my love? You seem… preoccupied.”

You glanced back up at him, a soft, airy laugh slipping from your lips. “I’m fine,” you murmured with a gentle shrug. “Just jugging a lot of priorities today.”

A mischievous glint lit up Eris’s eyes as he closed the distance between you, maneuvering to press your back against the wall, his hands resting on either side of your face, enclosing you within his presence. “Do you know what’s been preoccupying my thoughts today?”

You tilted your head slightly, peering up through your lashes. “I doubt it’s anything virtuous,” you teased.

Eris’ voice was a sultry purr as he leaned closer, his scent enveloping you in an almost intoxicating haze. “Certainly not,” he whispered, his breath caressing your skin.

His fingers traced a languid path down your face, gliding over your jawline and neck as you melted into his touch. “I’ve been consumed—tormented, really,” he murmured, tucking your hair behind your ear with delicate finger, “by this almost insatiable desire to be utterly and entirely devoured by my mate.”

Your heart fluttered wildly, your breath catching as he leaned down to graze his teeth lightly over your exposed ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“Is that so?” You teased, leaning into his soft kiss as he dragged his lips down the side of your ear, nipping at the soft flesh.

Eris responded quietly with a small groan of agreement.

You gently nudged against his chest, wriggling out of his firm hold with a teasing grin. “As much as I regret leaving you in despair, I’ve got a busy agenda today” you remarked, your eyes twinkling as he reached out, grabbing you hand again,” you noted, smiling at him as he reached out and grabbed your hand.

Eris swiftly drew you back against him, his strong arms enveloping your shoulders. “And nowhere on that oh-so-important schedule is a moment to indulge your devilishly charming, handsome mare?” he teased.

You tilted your head up, resting your chin on his solid, sculpted chest, offering him a coy smile. “Sadly, my assistant didn’t book any time for you today,” you replied.

Eris rolled his eyes dramatically, letting out a soft, exaggerated sigh. “I’ll have to have words with that meddling female who seems determined to keep my beautifully enchanting mate just out of my grasp.”

He looked down at you, his smile radiating a warmth that sent a flutter through your stomach. Bending down, he brushed his lips against your tenderly before deepening the kiss with a more fervent intensity. His hands cradled your face, fingers threading through your hair and holding you still in a kiss that was all-consuming.

You didn’t even think about it, moaning softly into his mouth as he enveloped you in another long, shivering kiss. The corridor's dim light cast shadows across the stone walls, cold and unyielding against your back. His kiss caught you so off guard that he had you once again pinned against the rough, cool surface, his hands leaving your face to rest at your hips. His thumbs pressed and kneaded into the soft, sensitive skin, sending tiny shivers down your spine.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers weaving their way into the thick, auburn strands of his hair. Your nails lightly grazed over his scalp, eliciting a deep, resonant groan that vibrated into your open, waiting mouth.

A smile broke through the kiss as he leaned back, his eyes glinting with mischief as he raised a brow. “You’re going to really get me riled up and not let me have a few minutes of your time?” he asked teasingly, his voice a playful murmur.

You didn’t respond with words, just inhaled deeply, feeling the warmth of his breath mingling with yours, and pulled him back by tugging gently on his hair, drawing him into another deep, consuming kiss. Eris slid his hands beneath your thighs, effortlessly lifting you higher against the wall, as if he needed to be even closer. But as he did so, and you felt the fabric of your dress slowly inching upward, exposing your skin to the cool air, the awareness of your very public setting.

You pressed a hand firmly against Eris' chest while he moved in to plant heavy, lingering kisses along the sensitive skin of your neck, attempting to gently push him back. "Eris—" you murmured softly, your voice barely a whisper as his hands confidently squeezed and tugged at your thighs, his body rhythmically grinding against yours. When he didn't respond, you repeated yourself, trying to infuse a different tone into your breathless whisper. "Eris—"

He leaned back slightly, his gaze locking onto yours with an intense, smoldering heat in his eyes. "What?" he asked, his breath coming in soft pants. "What is it?"

You glanced anxiously in both directions down the corridor, relieved to find it still deserted and echoing with silence. "Eris, as much as I would love for you to take me right here," you said, your voice a mixture of longing and practicality, "it is the middle of the day, in a very regularly used walkway."

Eris groaned, tilting his head back to reveal the taut, sinewy muscles of his neck, which beckoned you to sink your teeth into. He returned his gaze to you, the corner of his mouth curling into a sly smile. "But doesn't it just amplify the promise that the High Lord of the Autumn Court and his mate are so determined to provide their court with the next heir that they're willing to seize the opportunity at a moment's notice?" he asked, raising a teasing brow.

He wasn’t entirely wrong. For nearly a decade, you and Eris had been trying to produce an heir since your mating ceremony, yet success had eluded you, and the urgency to secure the future of the court with him weighed heavily on your shoulders.

You gave him a rather incredulous look. “My love, even though you have a storied past filled with daring exploits and more brazen partnerships, some of us still have a bit more of an upstanding reputation to uphold,” you replied, your voice tinged with playful reproach.

Eris let you drop down slowly, your feet gently returning to the polished marble floor as he gave you another long, lustful stare. His eyes were like burning embers, filled with a fiery intensity that seemed to melt away any resistance you had left. “I would say that it’s more than proper to truly show just how dedicated we are.” Eris winked, a mischievous glint in his eyes, and then began pulling you down the grand corridor.

You let out a mildly exasperated sigh, the sound echoing softly off the stone walls as he tugged you along. Yet, you followed willingly, unable to ignore the intense need that now roared through your body, urging you forward with a fiery insistence.

Eris led you back into the manor, saying nothing as he walked ahead, his hand firmly clasped in yours. His pace was fast enough, desperate enough, that you had to break into a slight, stumbling jog to keep up with him. Your laughter bubbled up, a soft, breathless giggle escaping your lips as you passed one of his advisors. The advisor attempted to stop and ask him something, but Eris, with a firm yet playful authority, simply said, “It can wait,” before continuing his determined path.

Finally, after ascending a winding set of stairs, Eris pushed open the grand, ornate doors leading to your shared chambers and practically propelled you through the threshold. You burst into laughter, stumbling over the intricate folds of your dress, your hand instinctively reaching out to steady yourself against one of the elaborately carved bedposts, while the other clutched your stomach as you gasped for air amidst your laughter.

Eris followed you through the doorway with a graceful, long stride, pulling the doors closed with a decisive thud and standing before them like a sentinel, his eyes gleaming with amusement as his own laughter slipped from his lips.

He crossed the room in a swift motion, his hands finding their place at your waist, effortlessly lifting you so you could wrap your legs around his torso. Even through the voluminous layers of your skirts, you could feel the undeniable presence of Eris’s hardened desire straining against the confines of his trousers. With a swift motion, you managed to kick off your shoes, sending them clattering across the polished floor as Eris pressed fervent, breathy kisses onto your lips. His hands supported you beneath your rear, fingers digging into the soft flesh with a passionate urgency.

Your fingers returned to entwine themselves in the silky strands of Eris’s hair, each tug eliciting a moan from him as he guided you towards the bed. The mattress welcome your entwined bodies, your legs still secured behind his hips as he positioned himself above you. His fingers worked deftly to loosen your corsets more intricate lacing. You, on the other hand were more successful endeavor to rid him of his trousers, revealing his toned, muscular thighs. Eager to free him from the last barrier, you tugged, begging at him to step back and let himself free.

He obliged, standing back from between your legs, taking his boots and pants off in one swift motion. His erection sprang free, hard, and throbbing in anticipation. It glistened at the tip with a bead of translucent fluid that seemed to invite you to taste it. He was every bit as breathtakingly aroused as you were and the sight of him only intensified your own desire.

As Eris neared the side of the bed again, lustful hunger filled his eyes. Pressing a hand into his stomach, you stopped him momentarily before rising up on your knees and lowering your lips towards his cock. His head fell back as you wrapped around him, gripping firmly while your lips pressed against the tip of his erection. You gave a few soft draws before opening your lips slowly and enveloping just the head of him. Eris let out a few soft moans, wrapping your hair around his fist as if to steady himself while his other hand cupped the underside of your chin, fingers digging into your soft skin as you slowly took more and more of him.

You didn’t often pleasure him in this way. Eris, however, took great pleasure in spending copious amount of time discovering the sweet secrets between your thighs. But today, seeing him so hungry for your touch—it ignited a fire in your that you couldn’t quite control.

As you welcomed him back wholly, you playfully nipped at the tender skin with your teeth, drawing back leisurely while Eris’s grip intensified while another moan slipped from his lips. His gaze found yours as you peered up at him through a sultry veil of lashes, causing his mouth to slacken open, a throaty sigh stammering out. As you carefully tightened your lips around the apex of his arousal, you sucked fervently before letting it escape your mouth with an audible pop.

Eris stuttered out a half formed, “fuc—” his breath hitching in surprise and pleasure.

You licked your lips while casting a glance up at him. Your hands were lost in their own exploration from his chiseled torso down his thighs, sharp nails carving a trail of scarlet lines on his skin as if branding him for your exclusive possession.

“You’re…divine, my love,” Eris groaned when your mouth once again claimed him.

The hum of affirmation that vibrated from deep within your throat sent waves of sensation rippling through him. The intimate sound echoed against his hardness, somehow making him harder as the pace of your movements quickened and the grip of your lips tightened around him.

As you teased him, driving him incrementally closer to release, Eris’ firm grip in your hair seemed more like a barrier. He held you back, preventing you from losing yourself completely in the rhythm. He restrained so that you could only take about half of him in your mouth at a time. You raised your eyes to meet his, his face twisted in delicious torment as you eased off, letting your tongue swirl about his swollen tip. His response was immediate, ragged moans escaping from between clenched teeth.

“What’s the matter, my love?” Your voice was thick with lust, mere inches from his cock as your saliva slicked down your chin. “You don’t want me to suck you off?”

Eris looked down at you from his towering height, chest heaving with anticipation. “Trust me on this, my love,” he rasped out, “my dick hitting the back of your throat nearly sends me to the edge every time. But I’d much rather save it all for more…fruitful purposes.” His words were heavy with lust, his gaze turning feral.

Smiling seductively, you let your lips slide sensuously over his hard cock once again before pulling back slowly. The taste of him lingered on your lips as he withdrew. “And where might that be?” You asked coyly.

Wordlessly, Eris collapsed to his knees before you and claimed your mouth in a searing kiss, tasting himself on your tongue while attempting to unfasten the stays of your corset once more.

He paused for a moment, seemingly needing to concentrate on the task of his fingers before he finally answered. “Well, considering we’re trying for a babe, it feels sinful to not try and seize every chance I can to fill you up.” His gaze flickered up to meet yours, as if silently asking for your approval.

Gifting him with a sultry grin as the corset finally relented, Eris pushed it back off your shoulders and swiftly reached beneath the layers of your skirts. His fingers found your undergarments, tugging the fabric down your legs almost manically. Once they were discarded, he wasted no time in stripping off your gown until you were stripped as bare to him as he was to you. You reclined onto the bed, your knees raised to hide the dripping lust of your core from him, and propped up on your elbows, inviting his gaze.

He drank in the sight of you, naked and nearly begging for him, his own arousal throbbing expectantly in his hand. He gave himself a few rough strokes as his gaze roamed over every inch of you—memorizing each curve, each hollow, imprinting every detail into his mind.

You allowed your knees to gently part, revealing your wet, glistening valley to his ravenous gaze. The sight seemed to push him to the brink of his sanity as he sank back down, his palms tracing a fiery path down your trembling thighs. He gave his lips a quick swipe with his tongue, priming himself for the feast laid before him. As he pressed his mouth down onto your core, he drew out his tongue, dragging it up the full length, groaning at the intoxicating taste. Your head burrowed into the mattress, your spine curving seductively as Eris’s hands made their way to your lower back. His fingers hooked under the crest of you, thumbs kneading into your thighs, rhythmically clenching and releasing as he mapped your body.

His tongue flickered over the sensitive but at your apex, teasingly building you up before dragging it languidly in slow, agonizing laps. Over a decade’s worth of attentive learning—under your patient instruction—had made him an expert navigator of your body. He dipped lower, his tongue teasing at your entrance before spreading you open further with his fingers. His tongue drove deeper within you while his thumb caressed your clit, causing eruptions of pleasure that obscured your vision. Your urgent needs colliding and locking him into place with your tights as staccato breaths escaped from between your clenched teeth. The tightening grip of your legs around him only amplified his ravenous desire. Pushing them away gently to take longer laps with his practiced tongue, he withdrew his finger from its tantalizing dance at the top of your cunt to slowly penetrate you. Two fingers stretched and filled you, breaking what felt like new ground each time. Eris loved nothing more than watching your face in these moments—witnessing the furrowing brow and slack jawed ecstasy as he coaxed you open. “That’s it, my love,” he purred. “Let me open up that tight, sweet pussy.”

His fingers moved faster, eliciting a symphony of moans from deep in your throat as you hovered on the precipice of pleasure. Eris was acutely aware of your body's responses, his thumb strumming your clit in an intimate dance that mirrored the rhythm of his fingers sliding in and out of you. Your hands clenched white-knuckled into the sheets above your head, stark contrast to Eris' hands, which never wavered from exploring your body.

His gaze traced a path from the tips of your fingers down to your toes, which were clawing at the sheets with equal intensity. "Eris, please—" you gasped out in a raw whisper, the words half plea, half demand as you felt him deliberately holding back the climax you craved.

A knowing grin pulled at his lips even though you couldn't see it. “Hold on, my love,” he whispered back, his voice a silky promise in your ear. “Just a bit longer.”

Frustration and need had you biting your lip as you rolled your hips against his hand, trying to coax him into moving faster. But Eris had other plans; he withdrew his fingers completely leaving you achingly empty.

A mournful whimper slipped past your lips as the bed creaked beneath his weight as he stood up. His strong hands gripped your hips and yanked you down closer to the edge, causing an unexpected squeal to rip from your lips which made Eris chuckle deeply as he positioned you just right on the threshold. Curiously, you opened your eyes to find him stroking himself while eyeing the spot he so desperately wanted to be.

Eris had once confessed he could spend hours staring at your pussy with a fascination that bordered on obsession. His fingertips would skim lightly over every intimate crease and fold, committing every inch to memory. Hell, just watching him studying you like that could send waves of pleasure through his body strong enough to push him over the edge.

Now, as he stood at the foot of the bed, ready to claim you once more, you couldn’t help but remember his words. And you knew, without a doubt, that it wouldn’t be a lie to say he hadn’t brought himself to completion just by laying you bare on the bed and gazing longingly down at your spread legs.

You whined again, your body heavy with uncontrollable desire. Eris, tuning into your small groans of longing, cast his glance toward you while still working himself over, his lust-filled gaze meeting yours. “Is this what you want, my love?” he husked out.

Your eyelids felt dense, brimming with an animalistic yearning as you gasped out, “Yes—please gods yes.”

Eris threw you a wicked grin before aligning himself at your throbbing core, easing in at a torturous pace that almost tore a wild scream from your throat. His breath hitched as he delved deeper into you, like he was teetering on the edge of release right there and then. But finally, he was fully sheathed within you, casting a look of pure satisfaction down at you. He stayed rooted deep within as he rocked in and out at a slow rhythm making you writhe beneath him, pleading for him to quicken his pace. “Patience, my love,” he murmured heatedly, pressing his robust hand onto your stomach, anchoring you back onto the bed. “I want to savor this moment, and if I pound into you right now it’ll end way too fucking quick for either of us.”

Your whimper of disappointment morphed into a moan as Eris thrust all the way up to the hilt once more. Every single inch of him was pure ecstasy that filled you more than anything you possible. The first time he'd taken you to heights of pleasure unknown, there was fear realize he might split you in two but with slow seduction and a few heated moments spent priming you with his skilled fingers and sinfully wicked tongue, you knew he was meant for you. He was the only one who fit within like no other could — two pieces of an intricate erotic puzzle.

Eris leaned in, his muscular body arching over yours, his arms bracketing your face as he pressed his heated forehead against yours. He moved deliberately within you, his thrusts slow and purposeful, with each withdrawal almost total before he sank back into you, causing delicious toe curling friction.

Your hands found their way to the back of his head—your fingers threading through his wild hair and pulling him even closer. The growl that vibrated from his chest was raw and animalistic as he kissed you, turning everything slow, making it somehow more erotic than lustful.

You wrapped your legs around his chiseled hips, matching his rhythm. The moment your ankles locked securely behind him, Eris slipped his arms beneath your back and shoulders, pulling you up while he remained buried inside you. A surprised squeak escaped from you, followed by giggles as he rose to his full height—his strong, calloused hands holding you fast against him while he captured your lips in a deep kiss that tasted like sin.

He turned, the muscled strength of his back sinking into the soft surrender of the bed. Your thighs remained possessively wound around him as he shuffled upwards, resting his back against the headboard. You pushed your knees outward to straddle him like a carnal queen claiming her throne, his large hands finding home on the curve of your hips. His fingers burrowed into the soft flesh as he silently urged you to gyrate atop him. His golden eyes locked into yours, his voice dropping into a sultry rumble as he ordered, “Ride me.” A command that you were more than delighted to fulfill.

Sitting back on your heels, your hands wandered upwards to find solace in the tangles of your own hair. You shifted back up and down upon hum. Eris’s hands held court on your swaying hips, not gripping you tightly but savoring the pleasure that each motion evoked as your body slipped tantalizingly through his strong fingers.

Eris seemed to surrender to the pleasure, allowing his head to tilt back in ecstasy. His Adam’s apple bobbed visibly as he gulps of air escaped past his lips. Your hands ventured southwards, exploring the terrain of his chest and abdomen with slow, deliberate strokes. All the while, you watched him—as pleasure etched itself across his face. His mouth fell open slightly open, sporadic gasps and guttural moans filling the silence as you controlled the rhythm.

His hips picked up a primal rhythm beneath him, as if he wasn’t fully aware of what he was doing. The tempo increased steadily as his fingers, imbued with desire, dug deeper into the skin of your hips. His body crashed into yours with a mix of hunger and desperation. His eyes were clenched shut, locking away the paradise he found within. He bit his lower lip hard enough to bring what you thought would be a sting of pain, but it was drowned out by the guttural sounds of pleasure that erupted from deep in his chest.

You leaned forward in response to his urgency, grazing your teeth gentle across the landscape of his neck—a different touch that the harshness of the grip he held you with. In a heartbeat he had taken back control, a male seemingly claiming his territory, pinning you in place as he made love to you.

The delicious friction between your body and Eris’s torso was bringing you dangerously close to the precipice. You could feel the distinct tightening of your muscles, a teasing thrill that started from the nape of your neck, creeping slowly forward, followed by a curious numbing in your toes. Your head sank forward, nestling into Eris’s broad shoulder as your nails clawed hungrily into the flesh of his opposite shoulder. “You’re such a good girl,” he growled in your ear, indulging every contraction in your body. His voice echoed twice as a whispered mantra, “Good girl.” His breath fanned over your ear as he coaxed you further. “Let it go, let my drown in it, my love,” pressing a fervent kiss into your tousled hair.

His words were the potent magic it took to send you spiraling over the treacherous abyss of pleasure, chasing that electrifying wave that coursed through your veins, leaving an unrestrained moan escaping past your parted lips. “I love you,” Eris whispered into your ear, his unrelenting pace continuing as he guided you through the tremors of release until you finally descended into a panting mess.

With desire still twinkling in your eyes, you nibbled at his shoulder, lavishly bestowing him with a sequence of licks and kisses, tasting his salt ridden skin and breathing in the scent of your mate. Eris absorbed every aftershock rippling through you while he kept his pace going, seemingly driven forth by the urgency he managed to elicit.

Another gravelly growl erupted from him before he spun you onto your back once more—this time fueled by something more primal instead of the gentle intimacy before. Lost in the delirium of pleasure, Eris plowed into you with a wildness that would drive you crazy. His body melded with yours—his hips driving recklessly as he cupped your head in his arms protectively. Your teeth grazed along the sinewy column of his neck as he released a low purr.

This time, Eris was teetering on the edge of his own climax as his hips faltered for a moment, catching their rhythm again with an insatiable speed. A sinful symphony of your bodies colliding with one another filled the room. Your legs once against entwined around his torso like a vine, clinging to him like a lifeline.

You leaned closer, whispering your own sweet demands into the curve of his ear, tickling it with your tongue and teasing bite. “Give me a babe, Eris.” The words were like liquid fire to him. His hand traced down your face, as if searching for the tender female beneath the wild one in his arms. His fingers cradled your cheek, the softness of his touch only amplifying the raw passion happening just inches away. “Let me carry our legacy. The heir to the court. The next generation of our love’s lineage.” As if possessed by another rush, his hands relocated from cupping your face to gripping the sheets with white-knuckled intensity as he panted out his lustful need.

“Please, Eris—” you pleaded through gasps and moans. Begging was music to his ears; he found it so damn sexy when you were on your knees pleading for him. “Give me what I want the most.”

Eris lifted his head, seeking out your eyes, to make connection before the inevitable release. When he locked onto your gaze, a shiver ran through him, causing his hips to shudder slightly as his eyes rolled back basking in the uninhibited pleasure. You felt him spill inside you—as if molten heat fused with the lingering aftershocks of your own climax.

When he had finally felt that delightful release, the waves of tingly, bone-jittering happiness faded and he rested his body on top of you. His lungs still catching their breath as he nestled his face into the crook of your neck. He gently brushed his thumb across your cheek, turning your face towards him for a sweet, lingering kiss before slowly pulling out and away, leaving an emptiness in his wake. But when he did, his eyes sparkled with such a genuinely, overwhelming affection, it caught you entirely off guard.

He grinned like he was tipsy. “I love you,” he whispered once more.

You giggled in return, your hand tracing the contours of his angular face and jaw, “I love you, Eris.”

He rolled to one side, his hand lazily wandering down your torso, drawing small, whimsical on your abdomen, where you had prayed to someday grow a tiny life inside.

“I have a good feeling about that one,” he chimed in.

You quirked a brow. “You think this is suddenly the magic one?”

He gave a light shrug, “It definitely felt like it could have been.”

“You always say that,” you teased, snuggling yourself in closer as his fingers danced up your arm, pressing another kiss to the crown of your head.

You laid in silence together for a few minutes, listening to Eris’ heartbeat slow down to the steady thumping you so often fell asleep to, his hands still exploring your body. He always had his hands on you somewhere if he could, like he needed something other than the mental tether that bound him to you, but you didn’t mind it.

You had many dreams about carrying Eris’s child. As his mate, it was one of your expected duties, to produce an heir to carry on the Vanserra lineage, to secure the next High Lordship, or Ladyship, times were changing and you would often tease Eris’ brothers with the idea of his daughter ascending into the position, sending them scoffing and rolling their eyes. But after ten years of unsuccessful attempts, fertility potions, aphrodisiacs, fool-proof positions, and you had no physical, tangible result.

You could picture it when you closed your eyes like looking into a mirror. Eris, standing in the windows of your chambers, surrounded by soft light as he looks down at a small bundle that coos in his arms. He sways lightly back and forth, the gentle breeze from outside pushing his hair from his face as he looks down at his babe with more adoration that any male could have for their child. He looks so at peace. He looks so beautiful. The babe in his arms could never be more deeply loved than by this male, your mate, and you’d given him that happiness.

You were yanked from your daydreaming by a light rapping at the door of the bedchambers—and the unmistakable sound of a male voice on the other side. A hesitant greeting from one of Eris’ advisors. “My lord—” then a pause as though listening for a response. “My lord, we’re scheduled to meet with the chamber of commerce in the next ten minutes.

Eris ran a hand over his face and let out a low growl that might have been an attempt at dramatics or actual irritation, while you burst into a stifled laugh tucked into the corner of his arm. “Be there. Just give me a minute.

The advisor hesitated, then said through the door, “My lord, I must insist we meet with you before the meeting—”

Eris cut him off, raising his voice. “You’re more than welcome to barge in. I will warn you however— that you will get a very full tour of both my body but also my mates. So unless you fancy joining us in the potential conception of my heir, I’d suggest practicing a bit of patience.”

The advisor didn’t reply and you could hear him taking small steps down the hall.

Your laughter burst out as Eris joined in with his deep, hearty chuckle. “You don’t need to torture the poor fellow any more than necessary,” you remarked, leaning up on your forearms.

Eris met your eyes, “If they’re going to work in my home and demand that they be the top of my priority list everyday then I’m going to have to start being more honest with them about what is truly happening behind closed doors.”

Eris gave you a small kiss on the tip of your nose before retreating from the bed. He found his discarded trousers while you rolled back, hugging your knees in what felt like a futile attempt to keep everything inside—a tip from the fertility healer. You rocked slightly on your spine as Eris appeared at the foot of the bed, trousers donned again but his shirt in his fist, leaning over the armoire mirror to fix his hair. He shot you a quick glance before pulling his shirt and vest back on before sauntering over to re-lace his boots.

“Plus,” he went on, “I’d argue this is one of, if not the most important parts of court business right now." Fastening his other boot, he added, “And you, for that matter. So if anyone has problems with how I’m spending my time, I’ll find them in contempt of court.”

You laughed and smacked his arm, earning a smirk in return. He rested a hand on your knee, gesturing to the position you had placed yourself in.

“How long do you have to lay like that?”

With a light shrug, you replied, “I’m not even sure it works, but the healers say I should keep everything inside for ten to fifteen minutes after we’re finished. Apparently, it increases the odds of implantation.”

Eris rubbed your knee slowly, smiling at you. “Do you want me to wait with you? Do you need anything? Water? Food?”

You shook your head, thinking him kind for the gesture. “It’s alright my love, I’ll just stay here a bit longer and then will get up and carry on with the day.”

He looked at you, his eyes full of longing and intense adoration. “I love you, so intensely, it makes my heart ache,” he whispered to you.

“And I you,” you replied as he leaned down to give you another kiss, long and savory.

He stood, walking towards the door and as he reached the doorway he turned and looked back at you, the same sappy, hopelessly romantic expression on his face. “You’re sure you’re okay?” He asked again.

You said with a big of feigned exasperation, “I’m fine, Eris, now go! Or someone is going to get brave enough to come in here.”

His hand rested on the doorframe as he smiled back at you. “I’ll see you at dinner, my love.” He noted and you nodded in agreement before he opened the doors and disappeared down the hall.

What he didn’t know was that part of the fifteen minutes of waiting also included sending out prayers to The Mother to finally let it all fall into place. You had a sinking suspicion that while Eris might be more than happy to take as many years as it needed to have a babe, the rest of the court might not be so patient, and it was your job to ensure it happened.

I need to be spayed. Someone make me an appointment at the vet. It's becoming a problem.

Part 2:

[lemon-lime-behavior]

Do you have any tips for drawing noses? Sorry this is out of nowhere but I'm wanting to improve on my art, specifically the faces, and it's always the nose I find myself struggling most with.

I really struggle w making it fit the face if that makes sense? Every time I try to add it it just throws the whole face off, especially the eyes, not to mention how to make different nose types and the angles </33

I love your art style so bad, it's so smooth and satisfying to look at and the way you draw noses like it's nbd (and anatomy in general like damn) baffles me so I was just wondering if you maybe had any tricks or not, Ty either way for sharing your art in the first place <33

@extravagav Well I can try! First off thank you very much, I often feel like I still have a very long way to go in regards to proportions and anatomy so I really appreciate your kind words <3

Hokay, so, noses. I do love noses. To start off when it comes to drawing noses I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you the most annoying advice in the world which is just to practice a lot. Find a lot of pictures of noses in a bunch of different shapes from a bunch of different angles and just draw them until your brain melts out of your ears. Pay particular attention though to the nose as a 3D object!

It's of course trickier to do than I'm making it out to be but the more you practice at imagining the nose as a 3d physical form the easier it becomes to make a nose model in your mind that you can rotate like a microwave.

This is my personal very very basic understanding of the nose's construction:

it's like three circles and a taco shell.

Okay so now that you've got a basic understanding of the nose's construction, how to put it in the middle of the god-dang face??

So the funky thing about noses is that they tend to change shape the least out of all our facial features when we're making expressions. Our eyes change shape, our mouths move, our eyebrows, our cheeks, our jaws, they all go all over the place. the nose, however, tends to be pretty stationary and doesn't deform much (save in one important way I'll get to later). So because of all this, and here's my biggest piece of advice when it comes to making the nose fit in the face, I like to draw the nose first! I do a very loose head construction, draw the nose, and then sort of "hang" the rest of the features off of it:

Two very different expressions, same nose!

Now when it comes to noses interacting specifically with the eyes the greatest thing to remember is that the part of the nose that sits between the eyes sticks out farther than you might think, and will likely be obscuring one of them, the extent of which depending a lot on the angle and how pronounced the nose bridge is.

for someone with a pretty flat nose bridge you'll be able to see most of the eye except in a more extreme angle, while someone with a protruding ridge might obscure the eye entirely. but the nose will likely be interacting with at least one eye if we're not facing the character head on. Really making your brain think in 3d is gonna most helpful here.

Finally! The nose being expressive! So the main way the nose plays in to expression is by wrinkling. the muscles that pull up your top lip and the muscles that pull down the middle of your forehead are almost all connected to the nose, so the nose tends to develop a lot of wrinkles whenever brows are furrowed or teeth are bared.

Adding those wrinkles can add a lot of impact in the expression! And not just angry ones neither:

Sooooooooooooooo yeah! noses! They're weird and they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and they can do a lot to add character to a face and they can also make you want to tear your hair out in big clumps! I'm still learning myself when it comes to noses (and most other things) and I'm faaaar from a master at it, but I hope I've been able to provide at least a little bit of help. If you do use my advice going forward please let me know! Good luck!!!!! (And here's all my nose "headcanons" for the strawhats. The ones who actually have human noses, anyway):

[taffywabbit]

taffy, do you have any tips on how to get motivation to draw when adhd makes focusing or even just starting on it hard?

youre one of my favorite artists and hearing you have adhd too made me feel a bit better abt my struggles with it

hmmm. I mean even after I started finally getting medicated for it I still struggled with this so I don't know if I have any GREAT tips lol, but here's some stuff that seems to help me:

- keep a list somewhere of ideas you wanna draw or techniques/styles you wanna practice or whatever, so you can add stuff to the list whenever you randomly think of it

- find ways to get yourself into Art Focus Mode, like a flow state or hyperfocus or whatever. for me that usually means making sure my water is full, eating a snack, wrapping my lower body in a blanket (my apartment is always a little chilly), and either joining a discord call with some friends (often screensharing so I feel sorta accountable if I get distracted and stop drawing) or just closing social media tabs and pulling up music/video essays/stream VODs/etc. the point of any of this is largely to make it harder to randomly get up and do other stuff if I don't actually need to. I'm at my desk and I'm drawing, it's happening, I'm locking in

- if you have something you NEED to draw (like me with commission work) and you can't find the motivation to just jump into that right away, this is where your list comes in. look at it and find something that currently interests you to draw (either fully or at least just starting it) and try drawing that first for a bit. then once you're kinda already in the art mindset, you can pivot over to the Art Task and it's usually a bit easier than jumping in raw. (setting a timer may also be helpful if you find your warmup drawings end up going on too long)

- this one might be a bit more of a me thing and specific to my workflow, but I also like keeping a little stopwatch app in the corner of my screen while I'm working so I know how long I've been drawing for. it's good for keeping track of how long I spend on commissions relative to how much I'm getting paid so I stay roughly within my "time budget", but it's more immediately helpful for just making sure I take breaks when I notice I've been working for a couple hours already. taking breaks often feels counterintuitive to the whole process of trying to induce hyperfocus, but you GOTTA take them or your bones will explode, so make them structured and make them count. get a snack, walk around, stretch, whatever you gotta do, and then restart the process and get back to drawing (and remember to unpause your timer lol)

that's all I can think of right now! hopefully some of this is helpful!

[artsymeeshee]

Been in a weird headspace lately and I wanted to put my thoughts and feelings out to give a better idea of what's been happening. Putting under a read more/feel free to ignore.

I've talked about my struggles mentally on and off for a while and this one has been an ongoing thing for me and it's one I feel has begun to stick out more as time goes on.

I don't see myself as a good person. Most of the time I feel like I'm a bad person. And there's a lot of factors that play into this. One, is the things that I draw, which sounds absolutely crazy. Even I think it is as well.

It's no secret that my main priority has always been familial/platonic themes because that's how I've always viewed Gravity Falls as. And I know a lot of people do as well. It's one of the main themes of the show for crying out loud. And it's not to say I'm getting tired of it. That's a thing that has never crossed my mind, ever. It's more so along the lines of thinking it's too boring or falling back to that feeling of feeling bad because I don't make ship art. And I know I shouldn't feel bad about it and there's plenty of others that gladly do it. It's just one of those things that I'm not sure I'll really accept. And I'm always always grateful for the ones that tell me they appreciate all the family bonding/themes in my art. I guess the feeling of loneliness plays a part in that as well. I'll still make all the family things as long and as much as I can, but I won't deny the feeling of loneliness I get sometimes.

I do have that strong feeling that I am made to do something more and actually be someone and not the usual husk of a terrible individual I fall back on so many times. I won't deny anxiety and fear has taken a big hold on me lately. And it's also driven me to isolate myself in a sense and made me a cold person. I was so much more open years ago and now I've closed a good part of me away because... maybe I realized my "correctness" of myself being a bad person and who would even want to be around someone like that, so it's easier to hide. And I'm always afraid that one day I'll do or say something to no longer make me feel like I'm safe to approach. I've gone through so many people I've found that I've grown to like only for them to be an awful person and it sucks. I never want to be like that.

It's also been hard to not fall back to up and leaving. Whether that be online or real life. Last year was a time I fought with staying or leaving and it was always hard to decide to stay because leaving seemed like the only option I deserved.

I'm aware my ongoing battle with depression has hindered me a lot and it's a main factor for all of my negative feelings and thoughts about myself. And I don't want it to always resort to being the final say of who I am. I would like to find and show that part of me I feel people deserve to see.

I'm going to be honest, putting my raw emotions and thoughts like this is always scary. I'm sorry for the unexpected and serious post. I hoped I didn't make it too annoying or bring the mood down, but I needed to clear an ongoing struggle I've had for a long while. Thank you all for the constant support. Thank you for liking my silly, dumb, wholesome, sometimes feelsy art. Wanted to state another serious thing because life is so unexpected and you never know what will happen, but if something were to happen to me, I really can't explain how grateful I am for the love I've gotten from my time sharing my art. Thank you. Truly. 💜

[dunmeshistash]

G'day, I hope you are doing well.

Ever since I finished the story of Dungeon Meshi (all supplementary material included) I've been writing down bullet points on characters in addition to in-depth synopses as a way to tidy up my rather busy mind. To this end I've also greatly enjoyed reading other folks' interpretations of particular characters, as it gives me further insight into aspects of that character I may have glossed over.

However, there's one character I'm struggling to write a cohesive synopsis about, that being none other than 'miss enigma' herself, Falin Touden. I get that her whole shtick is that she's kind of a mystery, but I find myself drawing a lot of blanks when it comes to her as a character, and while I have nailed down some important bullet points, there are a lot of different interpretations on her, all of which starkly contrast one another. Though perhaps it's just the wording. Hard to say.

It could very well be that I'm being too dense i.e. perceiving "Falin is willing to risk killing others to save her friends." and "Falin, in the heat of the moment, when faced with certain death, was willing to face the prospect of harming potential passersby in a final Hail Mary to get her friends to safety." as entirely different observations. I have a hard time with those kinds of things.

With this being a hub for all sorts of observations, interpretations and cool trivia, I was wondering if you'd perhaps be willing to share how you yourself perceive Falin as a character, so I can compare notes and perhaps gain a more proper understanding of her as a character as a result. I know this question is very broad and kind of vague, but if you could spare the time I'd be most grateful.

Other than that, I wish you an excellent day.

Hello!!! I love Falin!!!!!

She *is* a mystery, we mostly know Falin through the perception other characters have of her instead of a direct deep look onto who she is, which I find very interesting. I think the best post I've seen about her (which as usual I can't remember where edit: someone linked it thank uu) I think called her perceived altruism/love "selfish" and I've been thinking about that ever since.

In that sense the way she cares so much about the comfort of people around her might be a way to keep *her own* comfort because she doesn't want to see other people suffer.

This girly died and came back to life from bones and the first thoughts she has is that she caused trouble for her loved ones

She probably has felt this way since she was a child, "because of her" that her family was torn apart "because of her" that Laios left, her mom was sick, her father had to send her away. (wasn't actually her fault but she might think it is)

I imagine ever since then Falin has done her best to not cause trouble and to make the people she loves happy, everything we know about her and the things she was doing was always for the people she loved, that's why I enjoy the post canon comic where Toshiro asks her hand in marriage again so much. The first time she considers accepting just because "might as well" while for the second time she finally wants to live for herself.

I think Falin herself has lost who she "really is" by trying to accommodate everyone around her and that's probably part of why we ourselves don't really know her, so much so that the most cynical character is uncomfortable around her (probably cause he notices Falin is "hiding" something)

I think Falin is quite the melancholic character to be honest, someone who has lost herself in self sacrifice and who is only now learning how to live for herself doing what she wants.

Both the teleportation scene and the bit about healing show "cracks" in the selfless front she puts out tbh. By context I don't think what she did was only due to "desperation of the moment" she says out loud "Even if I end up hurting others I want you and my brother to live on". She weighted out how much suffering she might cause and decided she wanted to save them anyway, and I'm sure in that calculation she knew that they would suffer because of her sacrifice too.

Falin is saving them for herself, I'm not great with words so this is all over the place and maybe sounds a little negative about Falin but the thing is, you cannot live your life for other people, you can't sacrifice yourself for other people's happiness, you shouldn't erase your own presence so others are happier and I think Falin is starting to learn that by the end.

I'd probably keep rambling without getting anywhere and missing a lot of more meaningful moments but I'll stop here, if anyone has recs for Falin analysis please share!

[pillowspace]

Could you share more about your modern no loops au?

Oh, I'd love to!!!! So I have a 10k word draft currently. Haven't touched it since December because I've been writing other things, but I'd like to return to it when I'm done. I didn't actually know what I was writing until I started. I decided to go for the first line I could think of, which was:

So I had to build an AU off of that from that point onward.

It's a bit of a "post-canon" setting in a sense, except neither Siffrin nor Loop have met the party yet, and the two live together in an apartment. At some point, Loop's attacked, and they begin to bleed out in an alleyway. Odile catches sight of them and rushes to help. They appreciate her efforts, but they die anyway.

They've died plenty of times before though...! So they wake back up. They still have the stranger's coat from when she was trying to help, so they hide within it and head back home, feeling bad for having likely traumatized a random person with the sight of them dying.

A few months go by after this though, and Odile stumbles upon Loop at the library. Loop doesn't recognize her at first, but Odile recognizes THEM, and proceeds to accidentally corner them which freaks Loop out.

Odile, a complete stranger, instantly wants to know everything about Loop. How their life has gone, how they're alive, etc. So Loop decides that they DON'T LIKE ODILE, but that they'll at least find the time to bring her coat back to her to repay the favour of when they had died.

After Loop returns home, Siffrin reveals to Loop that he's... worried about them. Loop's been entirely dependent on him the entire time, and he thinks that they should have friends. Loop denies needing anyone but them, all the while struggling with bottled up trauma they want to talk about but are unwilling to go to Siffrin for.

This sticks to Loop though. Next time they see Odile at the library, they get to talk to her now a bit less freaked out, and return her coat to her. (This isn't art directly of the fic but I did draw this after writing Loop returning the coat). She reveals some of her curiosities about Loop, and although Loop still doesn't want to answer, they're curious what she means by the word "explore."

Loop makes a bit of a mistake though. They accidentally give Siffrin the impression that they're friends with Odile now, and Siffrin's happy for them!

Loop doesn't want to correct them though, so instead accidentally snaps at them for pestering them for the details on this totally real friendship.

There's a lot of hints scattered throughout the fic of Loop having very bad trauma. A large star-shaped scar on their chest. Implications that they're very familiar with Siffrin's blood. Having nightmares and waking up feeling like they have to kill Siffrin. Being so used to panicking whenever they wake up without Siffrin being there that they already know how to try and calm themself down.

I haven't gotten to writing the interview itself yet, but I want for Loop and Odile to actually start to become friends. I want for Loop to finally agree to an interview. And perhaps in an Interview with the Vampire (2022) style of things, start off completely contradictory and rewrite how it all started based on their own outbursts of emotions. Odile would catch onto this though, and get them to stick to the truth or not answer at all.

And thus, through much trial and error, Loop would eventually tell the story of meeting King. A nice man who Loop had once been friends with (it takes a LOT to pry that out of Loop), before they were ever Loop, but rather Siffrin. Loop would talk about how they had grown close over being from the same forgotten country, but that they'd come to learn that King had... other motives in wanting to get close to another Islander.

King had been studying something called Wish Craft.

King wanted to immortalize the Island's memory. Or at least, the memory that something existed from it. Perhaps somehow, some way, King could use Wish Craft to make things right again.

So what better way to try than to immortalize Loop?

Loop was betrayed and made to be a personal test subject. They weren't the first person to be a test subject, but they were the first success to survive it. Loop died very frequently those days, and after a long enough time, they reached a breaking point. They didn't want to suffer alone!! They wanted company!!! They wanted Help!!!!

Which tore Loop's strength out of them to create Siffrin.

Loop cannot regret Siffrin. But they regretted it at the time, as the experiments... lessened... on Loop, while the focus instead shifted onto Siffrin. The two were all each other had, so it pained Loop to have their burden fall onto him. Another regret was that Loop had become significantly weaker after Siffrin came to be, giving them less of a chance to fight back and escape. Loop was very protective of Siffrin, all the while wondering if they should just permanently kill him to get their strength back and escape. Towards the end, they almost went through with it.

They didn't though. The two eventually escaped together, sticking close to each other and occasionally moving from town to town while keeping their past secret.

I imagine that Loop will need... a lot of time and effort to tell Odile about all that though. They're very hesitant to even tell her that Siffrin exists, still wary about trusting her.

So between interviews, Loop and Odile just hang out, and Loop will come home to Siffrin who continues to live his own life. Loop will find themself healing just as Siffrin manages to.

If I do finish this fic, I would like for Loop and Siffrin to wind up friends with the whole party in it.

[usagifuyusummer]

Hello, sorry it took me so long (6 days), but here's your request @candyglumboy. I was experimenting a lot on these honestly.

From first to last in order, First memories/ Mortality/ Ascension (or an imitation of heaven?). I'm still unsure if these are the appropriate titles for these pieces lol.

Thanks for requesting me by the way! It was fun practice admittedly. (I still suck ass at backgrounds though.)

As usual, my insane ramblings below and some close-ups and concept art (will change if formatting is fucked up).

Oh yeah, I've been offline a lot because I'm so busy with uni stuff and... unavoidable family matters..., plus all of these took me a while to finish. I was brainstorming a lot on their request and these are the ones I've chosen to finalize.

I've decided to go with the concept of life, death, and rebirth on their request to just see Peri hugging Timmy lmao, because why not? It was to make me fulfil this request in a more enjoyable and exciting way.

I was experimenting and practicing a lot on understanding the Fairly Oddparents style in these pieces. My attempts are still far from perfect obviously, I mean the second one (Mortality) took the longest for me to finish just because I couldn't translate 3D poses into the 2D artstyle very well lol. (The second one was the hardest to make it look... well alright/pretty to me. It looks like a mess of haphazardous colors... I am terrible at coloring. I think I'll share the other scrapped poses later.)

Honestly, I struggled and got frustrated a lot with finishing these but still enjoyed the process. Here I'll list my inspirations for each pieces;

First memories - xblubotx (i won't tag them because i don't want to disturb): Their small Peri/Poof and teen Timmy fanart pieces continues to inspire me to this day. And yes!!! I see that they have made More Timmy fanart!!! Thank you xblubotx. I will continue to appreciate those in silence.

Mortality - I was thinking of loss and death a lot on this one. I thought what kind of embrace that shows this feeling? So, I used the famous, Ivan the terrible and his son painting, for the pose. I wanted to challenge myself if I could translate the 3D pose into 2D, so yeah, that's the final result... It looks like a mess of vomited red colors... I am sorry if you're squeamish towards blood by the way. I wanted to see if I could also attempt to draw blood streaming. I still think I have a long ways to go in terms of skill... For now, enjoy the nuclear baby about to explode because of overwhelming feelings <3 <3 <3!

Ascension (or an imitation of heaven) - @bevony: I hope I did not miscredit you, as I used your Fairy Timmy design for this one! I changed it a little according to my preferences/headcannon though. Still, I love their Fairy Timmy design! I like the hot pink Channel boots that they gave Timmy lol. (And the very comfortable formal fashion.) Keep on slaying~ My Fairy Timmy design will probably be heavily influenced from them when I get to that eventually... Tell me if you don't want me to, I'll back off. For now, I'll be enjoying the others fanarts of Timmy quietly.

(Additionally, my phone is slowly dying from all of these creative projects that I'm doing currently lol. Agh, I wish I had a drawing tablet or a better device to satisfy these creative urges....)

Again, thank you for the request! I'm okay with requests as I'm still not confident with my creative skills at this moment lol. So, admittedly I view these as a challenge or for practice. I can't fulfil them quickly though, as I have multiple responsibilities to do in real life. Still, I don't mind them once in a while.

I hope you like what I've done here. Sorry if it doesn't fulfil your vision candyglumboy. I'll keep on practicing my creative skills.

So yeah, I think that's all I wanted to share in the post this time. I'm still at season 3 on the FOP rewatch by the way. I am very excited to get to the specials eventually. Yeehaw!!!

Here's some concepts and close-ups of the pieces below this long massive yapping session lmao. Thank you for reading. Have a nice day <3

[kozachenko]

Here's a digital sketch dump of some pose/anatomy practices and some 2hu doodles, I think from now on if I don't have any big final piece to post, I'll just post sketches I liked that I did digitally (might also reblog some drawings of mine that I want more people to see, maybe idk).

Artist's Notes:

Ok so after the recent Hifuu fanart I did, I've been hoping to experiment more with how I draw faces, how I render, as well as how I stylize things. In some of the earlier sketches I did, I had an idea for a pose that I wanted to try drawing, so I took a ref pic of myself doing said pose (the leaning one btw) and then did a sketch over top of it just to get an idea for the shapes, negative space, and silhouette. After that, I wanted to do some simpler breakdowns of the shapes so I can get better at simplifying the body (these ended up being the bottom right sketches in the post). I also did some experimenting with how to push certain parts of said sketches to create a different body type (via liquify and then a more refined version based on that sketch), as well as figuring out what makes a pose feel natural and not stiff. This was also a bit of a foreshortening practice just so I can get more confident with it, and I ended up using the arms from the liquified version for the coloured Zanmu sketch I did since I liked them so much (dw I'll get to that).

The next thing I wanted to try and draw was Hisami, mainly because.... I am very bad at drawing her in my style. Last time I drew her I made her look really creepy and spindly, and it is my headcanon now that she can switch between a more human, and more creepy look whenever she wants. I'm liking where the face is going a lot, might have to refine a few things about it in the future, but it's cute (I also made the blush purple which I think is what I'm gonna do with her face from now on). I also like how her hair in the sketch turned out a lot, but the outfit..... not as much... Ever since I started changing my style to something less cartoony, I've had a hard time drawing her outfit in my style. Especially the flower veil thing she has on, which, I did try to find a way to draw, but I ended up deleting that sketch because I didn't like it. I'm also not a fan of using the colour purple, like, pure purple, magentas are fine, indigos are fine, but not strict purple. I also have a hard time with drawing all the little pattern details on her dress. I also need to find a way to draw the flower veil in a way that looks good because everytime I try it ends up just looking off (very similar to whenever I try to draw Zanmu's blue spears). I think the only solution to this problem is to do what I normally do and make my own version of the outfit, but with adjustments to suit my style while still trying to keep core elements from the original design intact (like I do with Zanmu and Keiki, and yes I am going to get to that Zanmu drawing just gimme a minute).

Ok next up is Keiki, my favourite Touhou character who I haven't drawn since the beginning of the year. Since my style has changed a lot, I wanted to just do a face sketch of her to get a hang of drawing her again, and I..... really really like how it turned out! When I drew her eyes, I realized that a good way of keeping faces too same facey can be via varying the sizes of their pupils, so that's an idea I'm gonna keep in mind from now on. I had a lot of fun with her hair, I initially was gonna do it like how it is in the official art, but I ended up not liking it, so now I'm gonna draw Keiki with wavy heir like this because it's fun and it looks nice. I also included my base sketch for Keiki's face since I was initially struggling with drawing her bandanna, and in the coloured sketch I added some more detail into her hair.

Now to finally talk about the sketches for Zanmu. Good lord was I having a tough time with her face. I also did this sketch before I figured out how I wanted to draw hair, so that's why the rendering on her hair is different (I did this soon after the Hisami sketch actually). Since I changed my art style a lot, I had to find a way to translate her face from my more cartoony style to my more detailed style, so while the face shape, nose shape and mouth was fine, I was really struggling with the eyes. I did get somewhere eventually though, and I am super happy with how it turned out. I wanted to lean more towards the androgynous side of the gender presentation spectrum, mainly because I think that makes sense for her character. Also made sure to include the silver hairs and some wrinkles just to bring some signs of her aging into her face because those are just staple features of how I draw Zanmu at this point lol. You will also notice that I gave her some scars on the right side of her face, and that's because I am a Zanmu-with-scars truther, I fucking love it whenever I see someone give Zanmu visible scars like that it just adds so much omg (I also tried to put a wolf bite mark on her arm in the full body drawing but idk if it reads well). While you can argue that her not having scars sells the idea of her being this "powerful, untouchable mastermind who is impossible to defeat," I'd say that instead of those scars representing times she got injured, they represent everyone who has failed to defeat her.

As I was drawing Zanmu's face, I referenced my sketch of to help with contrasting their features since I made Keiki's face more traditionally feminine. I also didn't mention this in my commentary on Keiki's face because I wanted to save it for here, but giving Zanmu scars also plays into the fact that she used to be human, wheras Keiki doesn't have any scars because she's a god who doesn't follow the rules of normal human biology. Plus I'm thinking about the two of them interacting again (return of Zan/Keik??? (I'm a multishipper btw) maybe???) so drawing their faces together will definitely help me in the future if I wanna draw them together (again, maybe as a ship? I've kinda been ironing out the kinks in their potential interactions (romantic and non-romantic) for a while now so idk maybe expect that in the future lol).

And now for the full body drawing, when I was doing the face sketch I did this little snippet of an outfit, had a vision, and the made it into a reality. I'll admit, part of me was worried that it would end up looking too much like Yuugi's outfits in the spinoffs and mangas, but I feel like I made enough changes to differentiate them. I tried to keep a few of the major details in Zanmu's design (i.e. the red tassles and yellow lining on her shirt) while putting a new spin on it. I also dialed up the scars to 11 since without them the whole thing kinda looked incomplete. Also, while I could say that the leaves on her kimono are "a nod to the fact that technically she should be a tengu because back then people belived that corrupt monks would turn into tengu but no Zanmu is an oni and they're maple leaves because...tengu...ahahahaha" what really ended up happening was that I looked up clothing patterns from Sengoku era Japan, liked the leaves the most because the red picked up on the red from the rest of her design and just ran with it. I also always had the idea to put Zanmu in men's clothing from Sengoku era Japan and while the accurate thing to do would be to put her in a Buddhist's clothes from that era.... from a character standpoint, I don't think Zanmu is pious enough to strictly wear the proper monk uniform, and also since she's basically the king of Hell, she would probably dress herself like royalty from that era. TBH, I probably could've been a bit more historically accurate, but again, this was mainly for conceptual purposes because I had a vision and I needed to see it through.

If I were to draw her in this sort of outfit again, I should probably try and use more references, although now that I look at it, if she were to wear it properly this would maybe, probably look a bit closer to a Kyūtai sugata (a very huge stretch, but it just kinda reminds me of that) just without the layers under and over the main piece of clothing (In the website that I searched up to try and compare the outfit in my sketch to, they name the outfit pieces but don't label them on the image, so I don't know 100% what everything is called) so I will definitely have to use that style of clothing as a reference going forward.

Also, I was kind of inspired by the ToTK design for Ganondorf since I have finished the game a while ago and I absolutely love what they did with his design (it's just so fucking cool omg) and I thought that sort of look would look good on Zanmu, so yeah got some inspo from that.

And those were all the notes for each of the sketches, I'm motivated to draw rn but kinda art blocked, so doing these little coloured sketches helps a lot.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hey! If you don't mind sharing, I'd be interested to hear more about your chronic illness diagnosis journey (I also get that it can be a private thing!).

I've been struggling for the last 5 or so years with chronic fatigue, muscle weakness, muscle pain and brain fog, and my doctors have checked a bunch of different things. EBV, thyroid, vitamin D, "are you sure you're not just depressed" and they've now gone for ME/CFS. A part of that just doesn't feel right to me because I feel like they should have done more tests or walked me through alternatives before settling! Especially because it fluctuates so much. Sometimes I can't leave the house, sometimes I have to borrow a wheelchair if I'm in a shop, sometimes I can walk 5000 steps??

Love and support for you and your gluten free adventure - potatoes, rice and polenta tend to be pretty good for me when I want something bready! (Doesn't quite hit the spot as well as buttered toast does though...)

My decline was really painfully gradual. I didn’t realize why things were getting so much harder. It manifested first with friction between my beloved because they were frustrated I was always too tired to run little errands myself. I went to the doctor and talked about my fatigue but was assured I was fine. I went on Chinese herbs and they buoyed up my reserves so I could keep functioning.

That went on for months, just getting more and more tired. I’d wake up sobbing because I wasn’t any more rested than I’d gone to bed. I went to a new doctor at that point. I got diagnosed with anemia until my blood work came back normal and then I was told I was fine.

Then I started fainting. My hair was falling out. I went to a different doctor. She ran my blood. I got told I was fine, but that maybe I had a food allergy. She slapped me with a full elimination diet that broke my spirit. I did feel some minor improvement but I wasn’t healthy by any means.

Finally, my good friend who is a doctor said that’s enough. She was in a different state but she was furious that I wasn’t getting any help. She ran my blood on a bunch of different ailment tests that were less well known. She tested for antibodies to EBV. If you have over 20 they consider you to have an active infection.

I had over 700 which is when they stop bothering to count.

I was so chock full of virus I was pound for pound virus by that point.

Then came the hard part. Knowing you’re bursting at the seams with a virus doesn’t make it easy to treat. The virus was living in me, in my cells. Too much of the medication and my body would start siccing it’s defenses against its own tissue.

I went on a bonanza of supplements. There was syrups to boost energy, pills to increase my immune system, antivirals, iron and vitamin D because those were kinda low. It was a three times a day regime of medicines.

My initial dose of antiviral was too high. I experienced a pain unlike what any mortal should bear as a result, dropping to the ground to writhe in agony when it hit. My dosage got lowered and my progress crept along.

I started school sometime in there and barely kept my head afloat above coursework. My stress load from school correlated to how much energy I had and I longed to finish my degree and just prioritize feeling better.

Then things got worse. My original doctor friend let her prescription rights for my state lapse, it didn’t make financial sense to keep them. A different friend from yet another state wrote my antivirals for a while but eventually I needed a new doctor.

I found another, this time a naturopathic doctor like my friends, hoping I’d keep receiving good care in that scope of practice. I didn’t. I had the most painful blood draw of my life in her office, writhing in agony, then didn’t hear back from her. I got ghosted by my doctor. When I pestered her for results she wrote me a script for antivirals but that was all.

I’d find out about eight months later when my health was declining and my friends demanded to see my blood work that my iron had been dangerously low but she hadn’t bothered to tell me. I got on iron supplements and staggered along.

Through precision time management I could budget my functional time into schoolwork then collapse to recuperate. It was working, but barely.

When my scrip on antivirals ran out I hunted once again for a doctor. This time I’d realized that any good care I’d gotten was when I’d made a personal connection with the doctor, a rare privilege not many people got. So I sought out a friend of a friend, someone I’d seen on occasion in the doctory social circle.

I have never been more happy with a doctor. She tested my viral numbers and pronounced herself satisfied that it was in check but was suspicious that although my thyroid numbers always looked normal that something was going on there. She ran more tests and lo. A thyroid imbalance.

Around that time I’d sunk into needing the chair. I stopped functioning, it was almost as bad as my first collapse. And yet again the fun part of getting my thyroid in balance was a delicate balance of making sure I wasn’t taking too much and hurting myself.

That balancing act took about a year to stabilize. I was still so weak from years of fatigue and inactivity. An able bodied person cannot imagine how hard it is to build up from ground zero on all your muscles. And the worst part was any time I felt tired I was terrified I was going to slip back down into the depths of exhaustion.

Then my beloved and I got Wyvern the puppy. And before we realized we had both somehow developed allergies to dogs and had to break our hearts giving him up, he saved me the last time.

Potty training meant I had to get up every two hours to take him out. I didn’t have to walk far but I had to do it consistently. Every single day I’d go to bed aching in every muscle, terrified to wake up. But every day I woke up with energy and was able to do it again.

It was like puppy boot camp, and I was able to go longer and farther every walk. By the time we realized we couldn’t keep him I was mobile again, I hadn’t needed my chair at all. When we said goodbye to him I promised I wouldn’t lose the progress he helped me make.

Now I finally, for the first time in six years, feel healthy again. I can go on long walks, I can run little errands for my beloved, I can fill my days with activity and wake up to do it again the next day. It’s the most amazing thing.

I hope you can stumble upon a doctor who can listen to you and help you. I know how hard things can get, but sometimes they can get better.

[incogrio]

christmas, don't be late

SYNOPSIS: in which keeping christmas presents a secret is especially hard for yeonjun

pairing: yeonjun x gn!reader word count: 1.1k+ warnings: none, maybe slightly annoying reader, probably ooc yeonjun

AUTHORS NOTE: this fic was actually really fun and easy to write! lately i've been getting kinda annoyed w yeonjun fics because everyone writes him as a cool, macho guy, but he is also super silly!! he's a silly guy!!! so i wanted to show the silly guy some love. when i am writing this, my jack frost fic just went up, so i hope you guys like that fic :)) does anyone actually read these authors notes btw? LMAO, i might do a fic w an enha member bc i'm more into enha than txt, soooo maybe??? idk!! okay thats it, im yapping, love u!

as millions of people knew all around the world, yeonjun was great at many things. he was great at dancing, singing, being kind, hardworking, and empathetic. 

one thing he was never good it, however, was lying. while he didn’t necessarily find himself wishing he could deceive others well on a day to day basis; the closer it got to christmas, he wished he could. 

the first hurdle of the holidays was figuring what exactly you wanted. new clothes? a new watch? jewelry? they all seemed mediocre at best, and yeonjun knew he deserved significantly better than mediocre. 

then, as though sent from the gods above, you suddenly gained an interest in painting. at first, you simply mentioned liking painting videos on youtube, then, he’d catch you drawing little sketches of your environment. the final straw was when you bought yourself a set of 50 tiny paint tubes for less than five dollars. yeonjun was supportive, of course, and your paintings were beautiful, but he knew you deserved the most expensive paint in the world, with the highest quality canvas money could buy. more more than your printer paper, and dollar tree supplies. that’s when he finally jumped over the first hurdle of the holidays. 

now, the second hurdle, was keeping it a secret. at first, it was sort of easy for him. he would simply close his tabs when you came near, and made sure to avoid the topic of getting you art supplies whenever it arose. 

“junnie, what are you up to?” you asked, walking up behind him and his computer. the speed in which you watched him close all of his tabs was akin to superhuman.

“ahh, nothing…” he muttered, before turning around in his office chair and throwing you a charming, lopsided grin. he’d decided the best way to get your mind off his secretiveness, was to be seductive. so, he grinned, he looked you up and down, he bit his lip. 

safe to say, you weren’t too focused on his tabs that night. 

but, there’s only so much sex a man can have before his man gets suspicious. and, with the packages beginning to come in, hiding them from you was becoming harder and harder. 

the first package to arrive was your easel. he’d asked countless people and read countless reviews to make sure he got you the sturdiest, most functional, aesthetically pleasing easel. 

he was lucky when the package arrived and you were at work, but unlucky when he realized it came completely in pieces, and he would rather die than have you waiting over his shoulder as he struggled to build it on christmas day.

“i’ll just…. build it now! it shouldn’t be too hard.” oh yeonjun. what a fool you are.

you came home to him with his head in his hands, an instruction manual on the floor and seemingly random wooden parts strewn throughout the living room. 

“jun, what…” he cut you off, immediately jumping up and covering your eyes.

“yah!” he shouted, “don’t look! don’t!”

“i didn’t! i didn’t see!”

“be honest now.”

“i am!”

“promise?”

“pinky promise.”

“then go away!”

the next time he allowed you into the living room, a large blanket was hanging over the easel, blocking you from seeing the shape of it. you walked out, eyeing the gift suspiciously.

“keep moving mister! nothing to see here!” he exclaimed, gesturing you through the house like an airplane marshal.

when the second package arrived, a large pack of multiple canvases, it was significantly easier to hide. he simply wrapped the box in wrapping paper, and shoved it under the tree.

“baby, what’s in the box?” you asked during dinner, feigning innocence.

“hm? what… box?” yeonjun responded, picking at his food nervously. 

“you know what box.”

“haha! i don’t!! let’s have dessert!”

slowly, you knew you were breaking him down, softening him up. you were in bed together, after secretly putting some of his gifts under the tree.

“junnie…” you mutter, putting on a bit of a soft tone. “tell me what’s under the tree… and i’ll tell you what i got you!”

his only response was turning away from you and your charms, shoving a pillow over his head and loudly singing ‘lalalalalala!!’ for five minutes straight. 

finally, when the paint arrived, he felt relieved. the other gifts would be easier to hide, being small jewelry and clothes, so this would be the last of the big gifts he’d have to wrap. 

he felt so relieved, that a few days later, he was casually speaking to you about your gifts without even realizing it. 

“i ran out of paint today right in the middle of a new landscape!” you whined, grabbing a cold water from the fridge.

“ah, well, it’s good that i-,” he paused. his stomach flipped. he stared at the wrapped gift and almost felt it stare back at him. wrapped. gift. it was wrapped for a reason! he can’t go around revealing gifts just a few days before christmas!

“that i… um… saw… a bird…” 

“what?”

“bird.” he blurted out, before covering his mouth and dashing to the bedroom to hide.

so when christmas finally arrived, yeonjun was as happy as a five year old would be. he woke you up at five am, practically bouncing off the bed as he dragged you to the living room. within the next two seconds, all three of your main gifts were shoved into your lap. 

“open!” he said, the balls of his cheeks high as he beamed at you. 

you slowly and carefully peeled the wrapping paper off, partially to make him impatient, and just as you were about to reveal up your gift, “it’s paint! the best paint in the world!” he blurted out, practically shaking at the excitement of no more secrecy. 

“i see! thank you, junnie! i love it. here, you open one of mine ne-“

“no! you go, go go go!”

you chuckled, grabbing the giant, blanket covered one and shoving it off. 

a second before you could process what it was, yeonjun shouted again.

“it’s an easel!” 

you began laughing at his absurdness. “wow yeonjun! thank you so much! this is so thoughtful. should i open this now?”

he beamed, momentarily trying to contain his excitement by biting his lip, and nodded.

you peeled the wrapping off extra slow, watching him get more squirmish and impatient. 

finally, before taking the last bit of wrapping paper off, you paused. you leaned back, looking at your excited boyfriend.

“go on,” you softly commanded.

“it’s a pack of canvases! i did a lot of research, made sure i got the very best…” he rambled, going on about reviews and critics whilst you gazed at him. once you had finished exchanging gifts, yeonjun quite literally collapsed on the couch, letting out a relieved sigh.

“i hate secrets.”

you chuckled. “at least i know you could never cheat.”

there is a taglist! if u want to be on it, put in an ask :3

don’t forget your daily click!!

requests are open!!!! (im begging u for a request fr)

[iminyourwallsbabe]

One of the Good Ones (or why CaitVi in early season 2 was... like that)

Okay so I, like many people, were struggling with figuring out why Vi became an enforcer. I had a vague idea, and I also chocked it up to League lore making things a little strange but that wasn't enough for me. With how intentional everything is in this show I had to try and get to the bottom of it, and I think I have the answer.

Tldr; Both Caitlyn and Vi operate under the idea that the other is one of the "good" ones/an exception to their bias while both striving to be that to each other.

Let me cook

Okay so starting with this situation from Vi's perspective, all she's ever known and seen enforcers be are evil asf. This is a valid conclusion to draw, but naturally it creates a lack of respect for and bias against them. So, when Caitlyn shows up and isn't immediately an asshole and goes so far as to be *gasp* pleasant to be around, it's a huge shock. It's like "oh wow, finally, somebody with some sense". Plus, she just got out of prison and most of her family is dead so it's only natural that she'd attach herself to Caitlyn a little faster than she should have. I've said that before and people disagreed, which is fair, but I'll stand on that.

For Caitlyn, it's a similar situation but MUCH less traumatic and brutal. She's a sheltered rich girl who's only ever been told that Zaunites are the worst ppl ever, so naturally, even though she doesn't outright hate them, she has those implicit biases. But anyway, despite that, Vi shows up in her life and it's still a shocker to her. That's not what she was told would happen. Zaunites were supposed to be violent and scary and all sorts of other things but Vi is not that. At least not to that extent, she definitely is a little bit violent but not in the way Piltover would assume she would be. She was one of the good ones.

So that kind of becomes the foundation of their relationship, which is why it gets so rocky. They both like each other for the person they are but a lot of that is attached to the fact that they are not like the assumptions they had about the other's class of people. They both want to try and uphold that view though, and that's the problem.

For Caitlyn, she acknowledges that there's some issues with how Zaunites are treated and wants to try and avoid being part of what she thinks is the problem. She wants to be one of the good leaders who does the right thing. At least in season 1.

For Vi, she's the token minority. She understands how fragile her position is in all of this. As far as representation for Zaun, she was damn near all they had. As far as she knew, nobody was in that council room looking out for them. So the fact that Caitlyn even brought her with her to explain the situation with Silco was an insane opportunity. She had to do what she had to do to keep it because there was almost no chance that anyone else would make it that far, especially if she didn't try to disprove people's assumptions of her and her people. This isn't to say that she changed the way she acted a whole lot. She really didn't. Most of this was an accident, but now she was aware of how she acted in comparison to what Piltover's citizens thought of her.

To try and break that down I'll tell you a personal story. One time, I was with my aunts and they complimented me on how I wasn't like "those other girls with the big lashes and the wigs and etc" and how I was "so true to myself". I've heard things like that a couple of times but it made me hyper aware of it. I never intended to be contrary to most black girls, I just never really had an interest in lace front and lashes and that specific aesthetic, which isn't even a bad thing nor is that representative of every black woman. I wore a lace front for prom and I'm never doing it again, it just isn't my thing, but I'm not striving by any means to not be like that, whatever that means. But now that they said that, that's something I was thinking about. Were they disappointed when they saw my prom photos and saw me in that wig? Did they think I was trying to fit in? What would they think if they knew how many of "those types" of girls I hung out with?

That's the position Vi is in by the end of season 1, but with much higher stakes. Especially after Jinx blows up the council building. Now she has to try and be one of the good ones, because there's extra animosity towards Zaun.

Eventually, this culminates in the cop era. Vi kind of gets backed into a corner, I think. Not necessarily by Caitlyn but by the social pressure around them. As things get more and more tense after the second attack, it becomes less about siding with the enemy and more about "what's the best way to keep my people from suffering and dying", because that's the next move. If she takes the badge and works under Caitlyn, maybe she can have some control or at least some say in how things get handled. It wasn't her forgetting what they did to her and other people, in fact it was a hyper awareness.

This is also why Vi tells Caitlyn to take the shot at Jinx if she gets the chance. Once again, she was backed into a corner by the political situation. She didn't just suddenly give up on her. Look at how Caitlyn was moving in her pursuit of Jinx, y'all think Vi didn't see that? Y'all think she didn't know how much worse it could get? If killing Jinx was the only way to spare thousands of people, unfortunately that would be the better choice. I think people forget just how much Vi cares about Zaun. She is just as much an advocate for them as Ekko or Sevika. She just has a different approach due to her circumstances.

But as we've seen in the real world, holding power like that won't stop the oppression you face. Having black cops doesn't stop police brutality, having a gay governor doesn't erase conversion camps. If they don't want to hear you, they will not hear you no matter what position you occupy. And that's exactly what happened to Vi. Caitlyn didn't wanna hear her because she was too caught up in her own biases and feelings, and next thing you know, things get 10x worse. That isn't a dig at Vi, I think she tried her best given the circumstances but it was an uphill battle she was fighting, even with her girlfriend. Caitlyn took her opposition as a defense of Jinx, which was a reaction loaded with personal trauma and implicit bias. That would not have happened if she didn't see Vi as "one of the good ones".

That's a very heavy crown to wear, and it can and will fall off your head eventually.

It sounds like it's a wrap from there, but they do eventually get back together. I think that split needed to happen the way it did, they both needed to see that being an exception serves nobody. For Vi, she was the first to be hit with that but Caitlyn got that later. When she started to understand the scope of Ambessa's plans and began to recognize her own cruelty, Caitlyn started to see it too.

We all joke that she folded the minute she heard Vi call her cupcake again but it was deeper than that. She already had doubts about what she was doing, not enough to do anything yet but there were seeds. One moment I can specifically point to is when she sees the commune. Something like this, a place where you're not even allowed to have weapons, feel unreal in a place like Zaun. Then, she sees Vi, she sees her family, Vi calls her cupcake again, that is what solidified her decision to betray Ambessa. It wasn't really about Vi in that moment and more so the fact that this is exactly what she wanted at the end of her season 1 character arc. The plan she helped put into the world would have (and did) wreck all of that. She wanted to think of herself as the exception, not as cruel as Ambessa, not as intolerant as a regular enforcer, but in that moment she realized that her intentions and everybody else's were not the same and they weren't trying to hear her. The fact that they supported her so much means she was probably doing more harm than good. Still, notice how she doesn't renounce her position as an enforcer or even really criticize Piltover as a whole yet, she just separates herself from Ambessa.

I don't think it was fully drilled into her brain until the final battle where she's about to die. She's got a knife in her stomach and a gun to the back of her head, she's cooked, it's over, and that's when she really learned that this was so much bigger than her. I think going into the battle she still saw herself as the noble exception that was going to save the day, but when she was faced with the severity and how deep rooted the glorious evolution was, she learned then that her good deeds would never be enough to even come close to fixing this mess. Being one of the good ones did nothing for anybody she cared about.

This is why I'm of the belief that, even if she didn't lose her shooting eye, she probably would've stopped being an enforcer after that battle. Look at the ending. I know it isn't the perfect solution to all of this, but it still says a lot about where Caitlyn is headed post-canon. The council has new people on it including Sevika, which is presumably her decision because idk who else would have (at least anyone with the authority to do so). And, when we do see Caitlyn, she's at that computer thingy. I don't think she was just there to look for Jinx, she was probably also looking into her mother's solution to the air problem in Zaun. I'm also going to assume she's officially on the council now. Again, not what needed to happen but the very fact that she's no longer an enforcer says volumes. The very core of being an enforcer is holding up preexisting systems and whatever decisions are made by the council. If she wants to do anything helpful, that's not where she needs to be. She doesn't need to be enforcing the law of the corrupt, she needs to actually put out orders that at least force them to be better. She's arguably the most socially powerful person in Piltover right now, she has that power. They may not want to hear her, but they will. A really nice enforcer isn't shit compared to a firm leader who actually puts their ideals into action.

So long story short, that's why season 2 CaitVi had such an insane breakup, bye

[vimeddiart]

I DREW MY OC TOAST AAAAAA

The folks at XPPen sent me the XPPen Deco Pro (Gen 2):

XPPen is having its 18th anniversary, and is celebrating with sales and product promos, so it's worth checking those out.

My thoughts on the tablet (and purchase links) under the cut!

⭐ Review ⭐

First impressions: After unboxing the tablet, I thought it sleek and professional-looking, especially after setting it up with my PC.

The remote I LOVED right out of the box because I enjoy fiddling with buttons and wheels. The keys are super satisfying to press.

The pen and storage case are nicely complete, lots of spare nibs to switch out (though I mainly stuck to the default nib while drawing, the textured ones have a nice gritty feel similar to paper).

I had some troubleshooting when I started, as connecting to Bluetooth wasn't happening with either the tablet or the remote. I tested the Bluetooth connection with a different device and my phone successfully, but couldn't with my work PC. I was promptly helped by XPPen Support, and it turned out to be a Windows update messing things up, so I uninstalled it and Boom; I could connect both the tablet and remote, no problem. Up until then, I used both via cable, which was a convenient option!

The tablet: The XL model at 15 x 9 inches, with plenty of space to work (although you'll need space to put it, luckily I have a lot of desk to spare), and can connect via cable or Bluetooth. It also looks so dang pretty.

The tablet was so smooth, and the pressure (16k pressure levels) felt amazing to draw with. After fiddling around with the pen settings, I barely had to press down to get a nice flowy line.

I usually work on a screen tablet, so it took some getting used to returning to a pen tablet and looking at my PC screen again, but it came back to me quickly. It actually helped my posture, as I tend to shrimp-curl over my screen tablet while working.

As lovely as it was to work on, I feel this size may be too large for me, despite it being perfectly proportional to my PC screen. I like to draw quickly, and I noticed myself making more effort to travel over the surface of the tablet and tiring my arm out faster than usual. I needed to take more breaks and stretch often, although I could classify that as positive. That said, this tablet has a sloped resting area that helped. All my drawing tablets have been medium-sized, so I'm probably just conditioned to that surface area.

The battery lasted as long as it took to draw this piece and more! I didn't need to charge it the entire time.

The remote: I love this thing so much. It has ten shortcut keys and a wheel you can configure to your heart's desire. Five sets of key functions!!! That's fifty shortcuts!! I only configured four sets and struggle to memorise them, but it's very convenient. I have my keyboard right next to the tablet and would bang out shortcuts there, but this remote changed my life.

I've been using it for a month now, and it still hasn't needed charging!

The pen: Comfy to use, with a design I was already accustomed to, and one thing I noticed was that the nib wasn't scratching the heck out of the tablet. After all the drawing I did with it, not a single mark.

I LOVE popping the case open to retrieve or store the pen, and it's one of those physical things that I find satisfying and so rare with digital products. I thought it would be nice to have a pen stand too, but I have pet birds that will (and have) run away with my tablet pens, so a storage case is a strong solution.

Final thoughts: This is a solid tablet with the potential to become an essential tool for industry professionals and freelancers. I didn't think I could be convinced out of a screen tablet, but I was offered a super strong contender. I can confidently recommend it, plus my experience with support was a positive one that boosted my trust in the brand. Overall, I had a great time using this tablet and really appreciate the opportunity I've been given to try it out!

⭐ Purchase links ⭐

US Walmart Store

CA official store

[magical-girl-trucy]

SO who's ready for my completely out there "okay but hear me out—" AU I've been brainstorming and have already written over 1000 words for?

Franziska von Karma adopts Athena after Metis' death.

(ID under read more)

HEAR ME OUT I PROMISE THERE'S A REASON.

Basically this world's version of events has Franziska on behalf of Interpol looking into the HAT-1 Miracle due to suspicious of international sabotage. Because Franziska von Karma is thorough and does not leave any stone unturned, she looks a little into UR-1, as it had happened a mere few days before and there may be a connection. What she finds from the actual case files is frustrating from how little care went into the trial...So screw it, she'll go directly to the source the trial had ignored: the little girl who had witnessed the crime.

While trying to glean any information that she can out of her, Franziska is reminded of how DL-6 similarly had effected her family and how her little brother was still struggling with it. And Athena's current legal guardian (Aura) in this mess is pissing her off so much in the amount of sheer hatred Aura exhibits and Franziska is definitely not projecting how dare you accuse her of that she has exactly 0 problems.

So one thing leads to another and now this child is now under Franziska's care.

Athena likes Franziska because Franziska doesn't talk down to her and while Fran isn't nice she is genuine and listens to her

[Image ID: A bunch of miscellaneous digital doodles. The top shows messy bust shots of child Athena and Franziska von Karma, followed by Athena sitting with her knees up against her chest. She's saying "You…believe me?" Next is two small doodles of Athena, one of her holding up a drawing of Franziska, the other her mumbling "Sorry, I have a hard time talking sometimes."

The next doodle, which takes up most of the page, is two drawings of Franziska and Aura Blackquill. Blackquill is saying "The fuck are you, a social worker?" before she turns around saying "Whatever, I don't care. I already have the paperwork ready. Do whatever you want with the princess." Franziska gets an angry expression and thinks to herself "The next time I see you, I'm going to whip you senseless."

The next doodle is of Franziska clenching her fist and saying to herself, "That foolish Phoenix Wright thinks he can make a fool out of me? How dare he! I shall prove my superiority by being the perfect guardian to this child."

The bottom of the page has two more doodles. The left one is Franziska guiding Athena while they walk somewhere. The right, and final, doodle is Edgeworth with a hand in his hand with a baffled and confused expression. Kay is next to him, completely shocked. Edgeworth says, "First Wright, then Franziska?!" Kay says, "SHE GOT A KID?! Damn, who's next on the adoption list?!" Underneath them is additional text in parenthesis that says "Kay is next." End ID]

[wizard-on-whales]

Snowed in

I'm not sure if I qualify for the contest, and it's completely fine if I don't, but I wanted to include a fic anyway :)

I've actually had an idea like this in my head for a while now so I finally have an excuse to write it

Warnings: Mentions of hunting, injury, cursing, mentions of blood and needles, smut, slight angst, slow burn?, older reader (I know.. again.. sorry)

This one's a long one so buckle up... 8.1k words

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Every year James would take a trip up to a small hunting cabin he owned in the middle of nowhere in the mountains of Washington state. This year his plans were no different, besides with his recent struggles after getting out of rehab he didn't want to go alone. So that's how you ended up tagging along with him. You and James had been close friends all of your life, your band and his band getting along and touring for years. So it was no surprise to you when he asked if you wanted to take the trip with him. So now here you were on the back of a snowmobile, arms wrapped around James’ waist and he navigated through the thick snow and overgrowth to the old cabin.

Despite its rough for wear shape on the outside, with its dirty, old glass windows, and the roof sagging slightly, the inside was spotless. And much to your surprise, knowing how James can be, everything seemed to have a place and was well organized. You had never been up here with him before as it had always been some kind of safe haven for him to get away from everyone for a few weeks. You kicked the snow off of your boots, placing them on the mat by the front door as you stepped inside. The cabin had running water but no electricity which meant the only heat source you could get from the bitter cold was from the old iron wood stove in the corner. James wasted no time as he threw several logs into it, lighting them up. The small room was quickly engulfed in the warmth it put off.

You continued to study the cabin, looking over the old drawings James had done and pinned to the walls. You smiled as you studied them, always loving the strange doodles he would sketch.

“You're the first person I've brought here,” He spoke, sniffing slightly as his nose ran from the cold. You turn to look back at him huddled in his oversized winter coat, his red nose pressed against the scarf he had on.

“Really? I'm honored to be the first,” You give him a genuine smile that he returns before continuing to look around. He has a few photos of his family hung up, a few with his kids, some with his band mates, and even a few with you. You laugh softly as you pull one off the wall. It was a photo from yours and James’ senior prom. Neither of you wanted to go but his older brother and your mom insisted on it and made you go anyway.

“That dress was hideous,” You exclaim, staring at the very 70s looking prom dress your mom had picked out for you. The bottom was ruffled and billowed out, the sleeves three times too big. And your hair was teased to the max. James laughs as he looks over your shoulder to get a glimpse of the photo.

“At least you looked decent,” You giggle, looking at a young James wearing his little tux and bowtie. His hair wasn't much different from how he wore it for several years after, fluffed out, bangs in his face, and as blonde as ever.

“You don't look that bad,” James says, trying not to laugh. You turn and hit him in the chest, letting out a snort as he teases you. James takes the photo from your hand, admiring it for a few seconds longer before putting it back with the others. His smile quickly turns into a frown as he takes in a few of the other photos. Several being him and his now ex wife. You knew the divorce had hit him hard and you had tried your best to offer him comfort the past few years after he had told you about it. James takes the photos down, stacking them into a pile and covering them. You give him a soft smile, resting your hand on his back and rubbing it through the thick fabric of his coat.

“It'll get better,” You say quietly, trying to offer some condolence. James nods his head, letting out a sigh.

“Yeah, I know,” He says sadly, stepping away from the photos and turning his attention back to the fire. He doesn't speak any longer as he opens the small door on the stove and pokes at the hot coals with a metal rod.

“If you're hungry I can probably fix us something,” You speak, breaking the sullen silence that had fallen over the cabin. You glance out the small window next to the door as you wait for his answer. The snowmobile sat just outside, a small sled attached to the back holding all of the gear you would need for the next few weeks.

“Yeah I could use a bite of something,” He speaks as he closes the door and sets the rod down. You answer by nodding your head before slipping your boots back on and stepping back into the cold. The wind nips at your face, instantly turning your cheeks red. You couldn't lie to yourself that you felt alone as you looked around. Despite James' company, the rural area and the jagged mountains around you made you feel a little uneasy. The trees that surrounded the cabin were tall, bushy pine trees that seemed to blend perfectly into the sky. The heavy white snow clung to their branches causing them to creak and groan with every gust of wind. You shivered, not being able to comprehend how James could spend days up here by himself.

You tread through the thick snow, following the same footsteps you made as you came in. James follows you out to help you unload the gear and drag it all into the cabin. He helped you carry the canvas and leather bags, grabbing the ones he knew would be too heavy for you to lift. He threw them over his shoulders with no problem as he walked back inside. You grabbed your own bag and one of the coolers full of food before following him. The snow that had clung to your shoes and the bags melted into the floor, creating small pools of water that sat on the old, polished wood floors. You stare at the puddles, looking around to see if there was anything you could clean them up with so that neither of you slip or get wet. James tosses you a towel, giving you no time to react as it hits you in the face and falls to the floor. He lets out a hearty laugh, watching as you give him an annoyed pout.

“I thought you'd catch it,” He tries to defend himself, his voice still holding back a laugh. You roll your eyes, bending over to grab the towel off of the floor.

“You didn't warn me,” You huff, kneeling down to clean up some of the water and swipe the excess snow back out the door. James closes the door for good once you've finished.

“It's too late in the afternoon to really do anything so we'll just stay in here for the rest of the night,” He explains, kneeling down to organize some of the bags. He finds one of the coolers, pushing it over towards the stove before grabbing one of his own bags. As you finish wiping the floor, you toss the towel on the rubber mat next to the door, knowing you'll need it again. You slip your boots off and place them on the mat as well before sliding your thick coat off and hanging it in the coat rack. You were still bundled in plenty of layers, your sweatshirt warming you enough. You pad over to the cooler James had slid across the floor, the zipper making a loud sound as you pulled on it to open the lid.

“What do you want me to fix? There's plenty in here,” You ask him, watching as he pulls some candles out of his bag to add to the collection of the old, half melted ones he had placed everywhere.

“Uhmm…let's save the more filling things for when we've actually done some stuff. Something light is fine,” He doesn't give you a direct answer as he lights the candles. You take this as your sign to just choose whatever you were in the mood for. You pulled out a box of hamburger helper, deciding that would be plenty for the night.

“Where are the pans?” You ask him, standing up from your spot and looking around the room. James pointed to the small kitchen before speaking up.

“Under the sink.” He replied, going back to lighting the candles. You nod, walking over to the sink and pulling back the small curtain that was fastened underneath. A small stack of pans sat under it. You grab a heavy cast iron skillet, wiping some of the dust off with your hand before walking back to the stove and setting it down on top. You had never cooked on a wood stove before so you didn't know how well it could end but you proceeded on anyway.

As you prepared dinner, James pulled out the sleeping bags and mats, rolling them out on the floor in the corner. The cabin was only the single room, plus the dingy bathroom that had been added who knows how long ago. There wasn't any room for a couch or bed so sleeping on the floor was the only option. You wanted to laugh at him as he unrolled your own sleeping bag right next to his but you knew it would be warmer that way so you bit your tongue. Plus, after years of touring with him and being forced to share a hotel room, privacy didn't exist between the two of you anymore.

“Is that almost done?” He questions, his voice sounding desperate. You roll your eyes at his impatience, glancing back at him.

“Almost…does that clock work?” You reply before asking him a question. You look at the clock above him, seeing the second hand tick as every minute passes. It read 4:30 PM but you glanced outside the window, seeing nothing but darkness. Your heart sped up as you looked out, wondering what could possibly be staring back at you.

“Yeah, it's the same time on my watch,” He answers, looking from the clock, to his watch, back to you. You scoop dinner into a few camp cups, sliding a spoon into each before you join him on the floor.

“Huh, I guess I didn't realize it was getting dark so early already,” You say, knowing it usually gets dark early this time of year, but not realizing just how dark it gets since you're typically near the city lights. James takes his cup from your hand as you hold it out for him, the hot food inside warming up your hands. You both sit on your sleeping bag, backs against the wall as you eat, talking about nothing in particular. It had been so long since you had been able to sit down and have a proper conversation like this with James, you didn't realize just how much you had missed his company. With covid locking you in your house the past year and the general chaos that surrounds touring schedules it was hard to have genuine one on one time. He always had a way of making you laugh until you couldn't breath, even if it was something simple.

As the two of you finished your dinner, scraping the last bits out of the cups the conversation died down to a comfortable silence. The wind howled loudly outside as a small storm moved in from the surrounding mountains. You listen as a lone wolf starts to yelp in the distance, quickly being followed by a whole pack. You can't help but feel anxiety pool in your stomach at the thought of a group of wolves being somewhere close by. The only thing keeping them from you was the thin walls of the cabin. James seemed calm enough as he listened quietly to their howling.

“How do you stand being all the way out here by yourself?” You ask quietly, glancing over at him. He smiled, fiddling with the empty cup in his hands as he thought of an answer.

“It's scary sometimes, but being in the city scares me too. I'd rather be out here like God intended, nothing but trees and animals,” You nod your head at his response, his words being no surprise to you. You reach over and grab his cup from his hand, standing up to take them over to the sink. There was a second window that sat above it, this one slightly bigger. As you rinsed the cups out, you watched the snow fall heavily outside. You had always loved the snow, winter being your favorite since a child. It was magical to watch it fall from the sky, the white powder seeming to stop time and making the world feel quiet and empty.

“Do you remember back in, what, ‘85 I think, when we were driving to your dad's house for Christmas and our car got stuck in the snow and we walked the rest of the way?” James’ voice is quiet as he speaks but you were able to hear it clearly from across the room. You walk back towards him, taking your place next to him as you smile fondly at the memory.

“I thought I was gonna freeze to death, we were idiots for not waiting for someone to pull us out,” James laughs as he remembers the almost 2 hour trek through the thick snow and your complaints the entire way. By the time the two of you had gotten to the house you swore your fingers were going to fall off.

“I remember the way your dad yelled at us for not doing that. I swear I thought he was gonna kill us,” James smiles, shaking his head at the thought. You had always been close with your family and since James had a strained relationship with his, they welcomed him with open arms. Your parents had been second parents to him, inviting him to every holiday and on every vacation. And because of that, your dad didn't hesitate to scold him like his own child.

The two of you continue to talk about old memories, reminding each other of things the other one had long forgotten about. After a while your eyes start to droop as exhaustion starts to set in. You glance up at the clock seeing that it's nearing midnight. You let out a small yawn, stretching your arms.

“It's getting late, we should probably go to bed,” James agrees, looking at the clock himself before shuffling around the cabin to get ready for bed. You both change out of your thick winter gear and into some warm pajamas, not caring about privacy as you had seen it all before. You crawl into your sleeping bag before James, watching as he blows out the candles. Your sleeping bag was in the corner, where James assumed you would have wanted it. His was next to yours so you were trapped between the wall and him as he crawled into his. Despite blowing out all of the candles the cabin was still illuminated by the fire in the stove. He had thrown a few extra logs in before laying down so that it would continue to bring through the night and well into the morning, keeping you as warm as it could. Despite that, you still shivered. The mats underneath the sleeping bags did little to keep your body off of the cold floor and even though you had a few blankets wrapped around you, there was still a lack of warmth. James lay still, his eyes closed as he seemed content, he was always hot so you assumed he wasn't as cold as you were. You curled up further, bringing your legs to your chest as you tossed and turned, trying to fight the cold and fall asleep.

“Are you cold?” James whispered, his voice already laced with sleep.

“Freezing,” you huff, rubbing your hands up and down your legs in an attempt to get rid of some of the goose bumps. James pulled his hand out, unzipping his sleeping bag and holding it open.

“Come here then,” He says casually. It wasn't the first time the two of you had cuddled, it was a frequent thing when the two of you were younger. Several lonely nights were spent in eachothers arms as you looked for comfort in one another. Although sharing a sleeping bag seemed like a new level of close proximity. You hesitate for a second but the idea of his warmth pressed against you made you give in. You crawled out of your sleeping bag, dragging one of the blankets with you before scooting into his. He zips it back up as you press your back to his chest and rest your head on his pillow. He puts his arm back into the sleeping bag, wrapping it around your waist before dropping his head back onto the pillow, his face in your hair.

With him pressed against you, your goosebumps quickly faded and sleep began to overtake you. The comfort of his arms and the warmth of his body seemed to rock you to sleep instantly. But maybe it was just an instinct from the many times he had practically rocked you to sleep when you've cried over something and confided in him. He knew how to calm you down quickly, as did you with him. For years, you were the only person he would cry in front of, the only person he felt he could be vulnerable with, to be his true self with. And because of that, you in his arms felt right, it always had.

The sound of James snoring loudly in your ear is what woke you up the next morning. You shifted in his arms, looking at him. His silver hair was tousled all over the place and his mouth hung open slightly as he snores, drool pooling onto the pillow and onto your hair. You scrunch your face in disgust, pulling your hair away and wiping some of his saliva off of it. You quietly and slowly unzipped the sleeping bag, crawling out of James grasp without waking him. He stirred slightly, closing his mouth but continued to snore.

You slip on a hoodie over your long sleeve shirt, hoping to stay warmer as you start to prepare breakfast. The logs that James had thrown into the stove the night before had burned down to small coals so you threw a few more on, poking at them to get a fire started. You open up the cold foods cooler and pull a pack of sausage out along with a bag of frozen potatoes to make for breakfast. The cast iron skillet from last night was still on the stove top so you quickly take it to the sink to rinse it out before setting it back down, dumping the food into it. James stirs again, turning on to his back and rubbing his eyes.

“Good morning,” you speak quietly, your voice still groggily. He opens his eyes and looks at you, giving you a small smile before returning your words.

“You sure you don't wanna go with me today?” James asks as he sits up. When he invited you on the trip you gladly accepted but you told him you didn't want to be involved in the actual hunting process. Your soft spot for animals would make it difficult to watch if he found something to shoot. So, instead of going out into the woods with him and tracking a deer or elk, you told him you would stay back at the cabin.

“I'm sure, I'll probably just get in your way anyway,” You tell him, stirring the food in the pan so that it doesn't burn or stick. He nods his head, slipping out of his sleeping bag and getting dressed for the day. The kitchen had a small island with two wooden chairs pushed under it so he pulled one out and sat down as you finished up breakfast. You scoop the potato and sausage mixture onto two separate plates, handing one to him and sitting down next to him.

“So when you're out there do you walk around the whole time or do you find a place to stop and stay there for the day?” You question his hunting tactics, taking a bite of your food. He explains them to you as the two of you eat.

“I usually find some tracks to follow for a little while and once I feel like I've gotten close I'll hunker down and stay quiet,” James quickly scarfed down his food before he started to rummage through his gear, getting his things ready. He throws a backpack on, slinging his gun over his shoulder before looking back at you as you finish the last bites of breakfast.

“You gonna be okay here by yourself?” He asks, his face trying to hide its concern. He knew you could handle yourself but that didn't stop him from worrying.

“I'll be okay, I brought a few books so I'll probably just read. Please be safe,” You tell him, worrying about him as well. James nods his head and tells you his goodbyes before he steps outside and disappears for the day. You hear the snowmobile start up and drive off, the noise from it fading as he leaves. The cabin was even quieter without him, the only noise coming from the crackling of the fire and the ticking of the clock. You glance over at it, seeing the time reads 8 am. You let out a small sigh, wondering how to pass the time before you decide to organize some of your things better. All of the gear was still thrown into a pile in the middle of the cabin from when you arrived yesterday afternoon. It doesn't take you long to organize the bags, placing the food coolers onto the kitchen counters, your clothing bags next to your sleeping bags, and everything else piled near the door. You grab a book from your bag, sitting back down on your sleeping bag deciding that's how you would pass time until James came back.

As the hours went by a storm started to pick up outside. You set your book down, getting up to look out the window. The wind blows harshly, snow flying every which way which makes it hard for you to see anything. The dark storm clouds overhead cast a shadow over the forest, darkening it more than you liked. Your heart speeds up, thinking about James being trapped somewhere in this. You stay planted by the window, watching the storm get worse minute by minute, praying James is safe. The wind howls loudly, causing the cabin to creak with each harsh gust it blows. The trees outside twist and turn, throwing heavy piles of snow off of them. Any one of them could fall at any minute, crashing through the cabin or trapping James under one while he's out there. Finally after what seems like forever, you hear the snowmobiles engine off in the distance. You rip the door open, keeping a heavy hold on It so that it doesn't get blown off of its hinges. You scream his name over the wind, hoping he can hear you. The cold chill pierces through your clothes like a thousand needles, the snow blows against your face, causing you to bring your arm up to cover it. James pulls up, quickly turning the snowmobile off before stumbling inside, grabbing your arm to pull you in. You slam the door behind you, locking it so that the wind can't enter.

“Are you okay?” You sat frantically, keeping a hold on him. You couldn't see his face since he had his hood pulled tightly over him, his snow blinds were fastened over his eyes and a scarf pulled up over his nose. He drops his bag and gun by the door, pulling his gear off of his face.

“Yeah…yeah kind of,” he says out of breath. He has a small cut on his cheek, which catches your attention, you grab his arm to pull him closer but he winces harshly as you do, ripping his arm away. You give him a look before gently grabbing his arm, pulling up his jacket sleeve. Underneath he wore a long sleeve shirt which was soaked in a sticky red liquid.

“James,” You scold him, seeing that he is in fact not okay. He shrugs his coat off before pulling his sleeve up to reveal a heavy gash on his arm, blood still dripping out of it. Your eyes widen at the sight as you grab his shoulders, making him take a seat at the island in the kitchen.

“I panicked when the storm started to hit. Slipped and fell right against my knife,” James winces as he tries to laugh and lighten the situation. You were in no mood though as you tried to think about how to stop the bleeding.

“This is deep James…it's gonna need stitches,” you gently took his arm in your hands, inspecting the wound.

“We can't go out there in that storm…we'll get lost on our way back…there's a first aid kit in the bathroom, some fishing line and a sewing kit in my pack,” James tells you casually. Your eyes went wide as you realized what he's suggesting.

“No..there's no way in hell I'm doing that,” You panic, thinking about trying to stitch James up yourself. He takes a deep breath, trying to control the pain as he looks at you with desperation. You look back at him, thinking for a few moments before looking towards his bleeding arm and letting out a heavy sigh. You march towards the bathroom, grabbing the first aid kit that sat on the sink before coming back out and setting it down. You open it up, taking some gauze out and pressing it to his arm, applying a firm amount of pressure. He winces again, sucking in a breath, his hand flexing a bit as you did.

“The fishing line and sewing kit should be in the front pocket of the bag I left with,” James moves your hand, applying pressure himself as you get up to grab the other items. Your hands shake as you walk back towards him, sitting down in the other chair. You flinch as another loud gust of wind blows against the cabin.

“I trust you,” James says quietly, looking at your face. You look up at him with concern before you pull a needle out, bending it so that it's curved.

“This is gonna hurt like a bitch ya know,” You speak, trying to make yourself feel better about the situation. James removed the blood soaked gauze, grabbing some more to press against his arm. As he tries to get the bleeding to die down you prepare everything you think you'd need. You sterilize the needle over a candle flame before dipping it in rubbing alcohol. You cut a section of fishing line off, letting it soak in the rubbing alcohol for a few minutes with the needle. You gently remove James' hand from his arm, taking a small rag and cleaning the wound the best you could. James sucks in another harsh breath, a strand of curses coming out of his mouth as the alcohol burns the open flesh.

“Sorry,” you say quietly, continuing to clean the wound. The bleeding has almost stopped which means you can attempt to sew him up. You grab the needle, threading the alcohol soaked fishing line through it before grabbing James arm. You hesitate, looking towards him, he gives you a nod and clenches his eyes shut. Slowly, you bring the needle to his skin, hands shaking as you piece the flesh. He flinches, swallowing thickly as he tries to hold back a scream. You stand up from the chair to try and get a better angle as you focus all of your attention on his arm, trying your hardest to stitch him up. With each agonizing minute, James continues to let out curses and the storm rages on outside. His other arm comes up to your waist, gripping it as he drops his head against your side.

“I'm almost done,” You try to reassure him, finishing the last stitch. You set the needle down, wiping the small drops of blood that escaped away. You grab some more of the gauze, securing it tightly around his forearm as you finish up. You run your hand through his hair, causing him to look up at you and towards his arm.

“I don't think I would have been able to do that myself, it's good you were here,” He says quietly, his voice tired and strained.

“Please don't ever make me do that again,” You try to smile, scolding him. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for James to injure himself in one way or another and for you to have to care for his minor injuries. This however was the worst thing he's made you do. He laughs slightly at your words, flexing his hand again as he stares at his covered arm. He keeps his other hand firmly on your waist, his thumb subconsciously rubbing your skin through your sweatshirt.

“My left arm has been through some shit,” James jokes, thinking about the few times he's broken it, the countless stitches he's gotten, and the pyro accident from ‘92. You take his hand in yours, playing with his fingers lightly, the scars from the burn still visible.

“I had to baby you for months after your burn,” You giggle, remembering all the times James was whining about his arm. You were in charge of applying the burn cream and helping him change his clothes for a while. James laughs as he remembers the memories, knowing he was probably over dramatic about it at times, especially if it meant he got attention from you.

He squeezes your side, bringing your attention from his arm back to his face. He had a soft smile, looking over you before bringing his hand up and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Thank you,” He speaks quietly, his hand lingers near your face for a second before he pulls it away, setting it in his lap.

“Of course, I wasn't gonna let you bleed out on the floor,” You smile, taking a seat next to him. The blood that had dripped from his arm onto the table and floor had now soaked into the wood, the vibrant red darkening as it dried. You turn your attention to the window above the sink, seeing that the storm was still raging on. You had almost forgotten about it, too focused on trying to help James.

“I wasn't talking about my arm...just…thank you, for everything you've done for me…being by my side all these years,” He spoke softly, his gaze still lingering on you, watching as you looked out the window. He takes his good hand and grabs one of yours you had resting in your lap, giving it a squeeze. You loop your fingers with his, returning the motion.

“You don't have to thank me for that James, I'll always be here for you.” A silence falls over the cabin as James continues to look at you. You could have sworn you felt your cheeks heat up as he smiled softly at you, his warm hand still looped in yours. You look away, shyly, trying to find something you can turn your attention towards.

“Are you hungry,” You ask him, standing up from your spot and taking your hand away from him. You heard him let out a small sigh, a frown covering his face for a second before he answers and stands up.

“Yeah, I probably need to eat something,” James stumbles slightly as he stands, grabbing the counter for support before he regains his balance. You wondered for a second just how much blood he lost, concern filling you again. You walk over to him, helping him over to the sleeping bags. He slides down against the wall, closing his eyes as he leans his head back against it.

“Are you sure you won't throw up if you eat?” You question, knowing he's probably dizzy and not wanting to make him sick. He doesn't open his eyes but he nods his head.

“I won't throw up,” he gives you a reassuring smile. You turn back towards the kitchen, rummaging through the coolers and bags as you look for something to fix. You pull out a few things, deciding on steak knowing it's his favorite. You wash the cast iron skillet yet again before setting the steaks in the pan with some butter. You took out a knife, being careful as you pry open a can of corn and green beans to pour into a pot to go along with the steak. You set everything on the stove top, throwing another log in, the steak sizzling immediately. James opens his eyes as the smell of it quickly fills the cabin. You had your back turned to him as you stood at the stove, watching the food cook. He watched you as you cooked, loving the way you are always so focused on whatever task you're doing. You occasionally stir the pot with the corn and green beans in it and flip the steak when needed. It only took a few minutes to cook, the high heat from the stove cooking it quickly. Plus James liked his steaks bloody anyway. You plate dinner, and turn around to see him watching you. You step towards him, handing him his plate before sitting down next to him.

James mumbles a small thank you as he takes the plate from your hand and sets it on his lap. James grabs his knife with his left hand, attempting to grasp it so he could cut his steak, but the pain from his arm was still too strong for him to fully grip the knife. You notice his struggles, setting your own plate on your lap before reaching over and taking the knife from him, cutting his steak up into bites for him.

“You're gonna have to be careful to not break any of those stitches until we can leave. I don't want you to start bleeding again,” You tell him as you finish cutting his steak. You turn your attention to your own, cutting it into bite sized bits as well.

“I'll try not to but you know me, I'll end up breaking one by tonight,” He jokes, letting out a small snort as he stabs a piece of steak with his fork and pops it in his mouth.

“You aren't planning on still hunting are you? I'm not letting you go back out there with your arm like that. We'll have to leave in the morning if the storm passes,” James nods his head as he listens to your words but you could tell his mind was in a different place. You assumed he was trying to think of something different to take his mind off of the pain.

“We might get snowed in. I left the snowmobile out in the open so it'll probably get buried tonight,” You think about the snowmobile that sat just outside the cabin. There was a small lean-to over to the side that held chopped wood and had just enough space to park something underneath it. But with the wind blowing so wildly, even if he had parked it under there it would have still been covered. Your heart speeds up as you think about potentially being trapped out here, especially with James’ arm. It was at high risk of infection even if you cleaned everything as thoroughly as you could.

You don't respond to his words, deciding to just quietly eat your food as you think about how you're supposed to get back to where James had parked his truck hundreds of miles away. But the sound of forks scraping against the metal camp plates and James’ somewhat annoying open mouth chewing was enough to keep you from fully focusing on your thoughts.

“Hey, I'll be okay,” James spoke as he sensed your fears. He swallowed another bite, his face already less pale than it was just an hour before. You gave him a weak smile, setting down your fork and grabbing his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze so as to not hurt him further.

“You better be,” You say quietly, you couldn't help the voice crack that came when you spoke, a small tear rolling down your face. You go to quickly wipe it away, looking away from James but he gets to it before you. His trembling hand wipes the tear before he rests his palm fully against your cheek. You couldn't lie to yourself that you were incredibly scared of the situation the two of you were in. James, like always though, was handling it well, being a support for you although it should have been the other way around.

James' thumb strokes your cheek, wiping away another tear as it falls. He removes his hand for a second, grabbing the empty plate from your lap, setting it on top of his and then placing them on the floor, sliding them away.

“Come here,” The words ring familiar to your ears as he had spoken them the night before. He lays down on top of the sleeping bags, opening his arms up for you to lay against him. You don't hesitate to crawl against him, making sure you're on his right side before you lean your head on his chest. He wraps his arm around your shoulders, his hand rubbing up and down them slightly. You reach over to his left hand, grazing your fingers over his bandage before you tangle your fingers with his.

The world seems quiet as you lay in his arms, his breathing and heartbeat the only thing you hear. You glance up at him, he had his eyes closed as he relaxed. The warm glow from the fire cast a shadow over his face making his features seem younger, reminding you of when you were kids. He opens his eyes, and they meet yours, the blue from them piercing through you like ice. Without thinking you lean forward and place a kiss against his lips. They were warmer and softer than you had imagined, the taste of him something you'd never want to forget. You pull away, looking at him. Both of you seemed surprised at what just happened but that doesn't stop him from pulling you back into another one. His hand reaches over and grabs your thigh, trying to pull you on top of him. You don't hesitate to swing your leg over his, your body pressed fully against him as you deepen the kiss.

James wraps both of his arms tightly around you, his hand fully splayed against your back as he tries to pull you impossibly close. The thick layers of fabric covering both of you does nothing to hide his growing boner that is pressed between your legs. You move your hips slightly, grinding down against his causing him to let out a groan against your lips. He forces his tongue into your mouth, fighting for some kind of dominance. James holds you close as he changes positions, flipping you onto your back instead. His hands push under your shirt, causing you to jerk slightly as his cold skin touches yours. You both get lost in the kisses, slowly growing desperate as each second passes. James pulls away just long enough to pull your shirt over your head. He pulls his own off, tossing it to the side before leaning back down to connect your lips again. Your pleasure drunk brain seems to snap out of it as you push his shoulder back.

“James we shouldn't,” You mumble against his lips before pushing him away. His face drops, disappointment covering his features as he sits up. You sit up with him, grabbing his injured arm.

“I want to, but I don't want to hurt you,” You tell him quietly, your own disappointment visible. He watches intently as you run your finger over the gauze again, bringing it up his arm as you trace his tattoos.

“You won't hurt me, you can't hurt me,” he says quietly, goosebumps rising over his skin from your touch and the cold air of the cabin that nips at him. Despite that, he felt hot, his eyes trailing over your exposed torso, your hard nipples poking through the thin bra you wore. You look at him, before looking back at his arm, the gears turning in your head. You push him back so that he's leaning against the wall. He lets you puppet him, watching as your fingers make their way to his belt. His heart rate picks up as you unbuckle it, pulling it out of the loops and tossing it to the side. His boner pressed prominently against the fabric of his jeans, desperate to escape. You graze your hand over it through the fabric, causing his hips to raise. You unbuttoned his pants, slowly dragging them down his legs to expose him fully. You swallow thickly at the sight of him, anxiety and excitement pooling in your stomach as you had never been with someone as large as him. James sticks his fingers through the loops on your jeans pulling you into his lap, desperate to taste you again. You smile at the action, feeling his fingers trail up your back and unclip your bra. You slide it off and before you've even had time to drop it to the floor, James’ mouth is on your breasts. His tongue swipes over your nipples causing you to let out a soft moan. You dig your fingers into his hair, cradling his head as he gives your breast attention. You grind your hips down onto his again making him groan against your chest. He leaves small love bites before looking back at you.

“Take these off,” He says, his eyes never leaving yours as he unbuttons your jeans. You get off of his lap for a second, sliding them off before he immediately pulls you close again. You let out a surprised gasp when you feel his erection rub against your swollen lips. You grip his shoulders, hovering over him slightly before slowly pushing yourself down onto him. He throws his head back against the wall, his eyes squeezing shut from the pleasure. You bite your lip, the stretch was painful but you don't stop.

“Fuck you feel good,” He strains, opening his eyes to look down and watch himself disappear as you sit fully on top of him. You rest your forehead against his, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. One hand plays with the small gray curls that rest at the nape of his neck. His hands grip your hips as he holds himself back from pounding into you. Slowly, you start to rock your hips back and forth, letting yourself get used to his size. James continues to groan with each motion, being more vocal than you imagined.

Admittedly, you were being louder than normal yourself. His cock was thick and long, filling you up more than you had ever been before. The veins from it dragging against your walls, pulsing with each moan he let out. The pressure from the angle was more than you could bear as you cried out, bouncing on his lap. James still had a firm grasp on your hips, helping lift you up before roughly pushing you back down. The smell of sex and the squelching between your legs filled the cabin, making you forget everything else. It hasn't even registered in your brain yet that you were desperately riding your best friend. Years of both of you denying rumors that you were dating being thrown down the drain this very second.

“Fuck, I'm gonna cum, Birdie,” James groans, the nickname he gave you years ago rolled out of his mouth with ease but the sound of it on his tongue caused you to clench around him. He quickly wrapped his arms around you, trapping you on top of him as he let out another loud moan, burying his face into your chest. You felt him fill you up, his dick twitching eagerly inside. You brought your hand between your bodies, desperately chasing your own release as your fingers quickly worked themselves against your clit. The feeling of his seed overflowing from your filled walls quickly brought you to your release. You clenched desperately around him again, making him groan from the sensitivity. You drop your head to his shoulder, moaning in his ear as you cum on top of him. You both stay unmoving, gripping each other tightly as you try to catch your breath.

James leans his head back against the wall, causing you to look at him. He gives you a fucked out smile, laughing softly at what just happened. You return the smile, leaning forward to place a kiss on his lips.

“Is this a bad time to tell you I'm bleeding again,” He jokes, looking down at his arm which was smearing blood onto your exposed side. You follow his gaze, watching as the white gauze slowly becomes a vibrant red. Panic sets through you like a deer in headlights, not knowing what to do. You still sat on top of him, his soft dick still being warmed inside your walls. You glance from his arm back to him, seeing the shit eating grin he had on his face.

“I told you I'd break one before the night was over,” He laughs, recalling his earlier words. You give him a stern look, hitting his chest slightly before finally peeling yourself away from him. You both let out one last sigh. You sit down next to him, leaning your side against his as you set his arm in your lap, peeling the bandage away. Only one stitch had broken but it was enough for the bleeding to start again. As you watched it drip down his arm, you felt his cum dripping out of you, causing your face to turn red as the reality of what just happened sets in.

“You're insane,” You tell him quietly, grabbing a blanket to cover your exposed body before you grab the first aid kit again. You didn't think you'd have to put another stitch in since only one had broken. James watched you closely, his eyes lingering over what skin was exposed under the blanket. You sit back down next to him, grabbing more gauze to clean the blood up with before taking a small tube of glue and rubbing it into the exposed part of the wound. You rewrap his arm, setting the first aid kit back by your side.

“I love you,” James speaks softly, his words causing your cheeks to flush. He rests his hand on your thigh, rubbing the skin gently. It wasn't the first time he had spoken those words, but this time they had a different meaning.

“I love you too,” Your voice was hush like his as you rested your head against his bare shoulder and grabbed his hand with yours. He gives your leg a squeeze, kissing your forehead.

“This is going to make Lars happy,” James snorts as he thinks about the situation. Lars had been trying to hook you two up, very unsuccessfully, for years. You laugh as you think about the look the small Danish man will have on his face when he hears about what happened.

You look up at James, a smile still plastered on your face as he meets your gaze, he leans down and connects his lips with yours yet again. The storm outside has died down by now but the wind still blows harshly. The group of wolves from the night before started their duets again, causing you to shiver, but the warmth of James' skin against yours was all you needed to forget your worries.

✭-----------------------------✭

whewh...that was...a lot. I didn't double check spelling or grammar so sorry for any mistakes

[chrysoula]

Albedo spent sixty years rescuing Nahida from her cage, because he was looking for a challenge to test himself against. He didn't spend much time thinking about how, after the rush of satisfaction had faded, he would be in possession of a newborn god of wisdom who was so lost she tried to go back into her cage.

"Why are you here?" she asked, puzzled, as soon as the door to her cage opened. "There's so much-- You did so much, so why are you here?"

He stared at her as all of his sense of accomplishment washed away.

She began to gabble. "I knew something was happening, I could see your echoes, the ripples like a fish underwater, and I didn't know what you could want but I helped you when I could, because I wanted to see them beaten so why are you here?"

Because this is the finish line. But he knew better than to say that. Instead, he ran a rapid post-mortem on his plans over the last sixty years. When had the flaw been introduced, and how could he compensate for it?

"Okay," she said into the silence. "Now what?" Her eyes reminded him of glass marbles.

"I don't know what you want me to do," she said bitterly after a moment. "There's nothing I can do."

It was a worldview alien to Albedo. Ever since his mother abandoned him, he'd practiced turning his knowledge into power over the world around him. Before they called him a mastermind, they called him a meddler, and usually he didn't bother tidying up when he was done. 

"Oh. I see," she said, drawing her own conclusion and dropping her gaze. "You didn't come for me after all. How stupid I am." 

And even then, he struggled. He could see the potential shapes of the consequence he'd created and he didn't like them. He'd done something terrible and he had to repair it, but how--??

Tears began to spill from those green eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm just not good enough yet. I shouldn't... I shouldn't get involved." And, wiping her eyes, she'd turned to step back into the cage.

That, at least, he could respond to. "No, don't do that. It would only make things worse."

"What?" She half-turned, her mouth open in surprise.

"Would you like something to eat or drink?" That was probably a safe thing to ask in the situation. The government imprisoning her had been thoroughly disabled that morning. And newborns were often hungry.

"What?" she repeated, and then ran over to him. "Did you change your mind?"

Pleasantly, he said, "I think you did, but that's not an important detail at the moment. Why don't we sit down and talk about a few things?"

She promptly sat down, looking up at him with clear curiosity. He sat down on the ground too, refining his evaluation of her. "First of all, do you have a name of your own? One that doesn't belong to the Archon?"

"Nahida," she said, possibly for the first time. She looked a little surprised, in any case.

"I'm happy to meet you, Nahida. My name is Albedo." He gave her a friendly smile, and she stared at him like she was decoding his face. "Let's try to figure out what you'd like to do now."

"May I ask a question first?" She spoke with a respectfulness he didn't deserve. Not from her, anyhow. He'd have to earn it first.

"Please do. I'll do my best to answer it." While she formulated her thoughts, he began to synthesize some fish snacks he hoped she'd find palatable.

"Beyond your name, who are you?" It was a question carefully considered, and not the one he expected. But her earnest gaze remained fixed on him.

He considered his own response. It wasn't a question he was in the habit of answering. "Mostly, I plan things for other people. I'm quite clever and I've lived a long time compared to most, so I have certain advantages I enjoy sharing. In quite a few places, I'm considered a criminal, because what I help people do is often illegal. " He offered her the fish snacks. "I also engage in projects of my own, like this one."

She accepted one and nibbled on it. He observed as her eyes widened and she nibbled a bit more before finally making a face and putting it down. "I don't know how to taste it right. I'll work on it later."

"Is that what you want to do?" He saw this as a natural way of leading back to the core topic, but when she flinched, admitted to himself that such directness might have been a little cruel after already thrusting so much change on her unannounced.

"Do you think it tastes good?" she asked him uncertainly.

"Yes, I do."

She thought for a moment. "I'd like to learn to like it too, then. And I want to stay with you, please."

Did gods imprint? He'd never looked into the question. But the truth remained: she might be the god of wisdom, but she was also a powerful and traumatized child. If he walked away now, one way or another, she'd show up in his life again, the worse for it.

Calmly, he said, "Yes, I thought you might say that. Do you also want to rule Sumeru?"

She shrugged, curled up in a ball, rocked back and forth. "Sumeru is a dream to me, a world on the other side of pages and glass." Then she sat up again. "But you are somebody I never imagined existed. That seems more interesting than governing a country that doesn't want me to exist, all by myself."

"I agree," he said. "Still, having Sumeru on a stable footing may be useful in the future, so we should probably sort out the knot I made before we go on our way."