#I've always been a rewatcher
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Tonight I was like, “well, I should watch ‘The Girl in the Locket.’” (Which is usually my go-to Nancy Drew episode when I just want to watch one.) (I love the Nancy and Ryan stuff in that episode so much it makes me !!!!! The ritual scene??? I could watch it a million times. And I have.) And then from there I went to “The Ransom of the Forsaken Soul.” ‘Cause I love pain. And then I just...started season 4 over from the beginning? Again?
Anyway.
“The Danger of the Hopeful Sigil” makes me feel INSANE. ABSOLUTELY FERAL I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S REAL. It’s been weeks and I’m still just. wow. WOW.
(I also cannot believe the CW still hasn’t fixed the fucked up act breaks in the streaming version yet. They’re not just wrong, they are truly as poorly placed as you could possibly manage to misplace them.)
I’m just enjoying this season so much, and I’m so excited for where it’s going and so dreading that it’s going to end in a mere 6 weeks and so unsure of what I will do with myself after it’s over. What will my next hyperfixation be?? How long will it take for it to find me???
#I've always been a rewatcher#(I watched love daisies and troubadours 13 times in the summer of 2001)#(I knew how many commercials were in every break and the VHS started making a whirring noise when it played)#but I haven't done this sort of rewatching the same episodes multiple times in the week it aired in YEARS#like the last time was for the last season of mad men and that was only because I was recapping it on my blog#and mad men required extra attention#not because I was losing my mind over it#and it's not like when I was going through my whole bones thing in 2020 because that was just a very intense coping mechanism 'cause...2020#(I mean I did love it but also I think I was having some sort of breakdown from the loneliness)#this is just pure intense devoted fandom#and the obsession started back in season 1 but it has really blown up in the last couple of years#I just love nancy drew so much and even more I love that I love it so much#nancy drew#love!!!!
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Countdown to October 19th (12/19)
Phil is not on fire
#pi-pi-pi-pi-pinof#phil is not on fire is so fun and special#rewatching them always give me the feels#i've been really loving the polaroid vibes#I am always so scared that I have written the wrong date for these#dan and phil#dnp#danandphil#amazingphil#phan#my gifs#dnp gifs#daniel howell#phan countdown
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#star wars#anakin skywalker#obi-wan kenobi#revenge of the sith#ewan mcgregor#hayden christensen#sw rots#obi wan kenobi#swedit#i've been rewatching deleted scenes#and this one always makes me laugh#obikin being dorks#my stuff
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impulsesv simulates anxiety spirals in the particular way that only a man who has had many, many anxiety spirals in his lifetime can
#aka to the point that i was getting genuinely concerned#enen says stuff#impulsesv#<- always scared tagging THAT nowadays. we Don't Know how active he is on this godforsaken webbed site#anyways.#this is only mostly a joke#yeah i've been rewatching some VODs
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#lord have mercy#(i've been rewatching a lot of ft recently)#these two make me insane. feral. foaming at the mouth#nalu#fairy tail#i've said this before and i'll say it again#there is no one. NO ONE. no one else who natsu treats like this#he is always so gentle with her. lucy is always the first thing on his mind#and likewise natsu is always the first thing on HER mind. he is who she shares excitement with. who she looks to for comfort#asdfghjkl
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"Ballad of Maxwell Demon" from Velvet Goldmine "My Kink is Karma" by Chappell Roan
#filmedit#musicedit#moviegifs#musicgifs#chappellroanedit#velvet goldmine#jonathan rhys meyers#chappell roan#made by carolyn#for an audience of me!#i've always been so charmed by this shot in the chappell video#just rewatched velvet goldmine and was like oh that might be why!#we love camp we love glam we love fun
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FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.
[youtube with closed captions]
dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.
(via @closetoyou1970)
#spn#vid#mind the warnings on this one for real#woe! fruit of my rewatch be upon ye.#pallas calls this my 'deangirl coming out vid' which honestly. true. but those who paid attention know i've always been a deangirl.#also. after this no more deanwinchester rilo kiley amvs I Pwomise#anyway. i'm not gonna give a full commentary here but a big reason why i chose this song is that the narrator#is essentially dismissing her own problems and instead watching the problems of someone else#and i kind of wanted to play with that theme. this is the parallels show so let's do some parallels. lots of things happen to characters#that are Like Dean somehow. either in personality or circumstance. that we know or can infer happen to him. but we don't see it bc it's#not sayable. not speakable. so like for an easy one. we see meg being tortured in caged heat. she also talks about apprenticing under#alastair just like dean. so i show her being tortured [in a way that is sexualized and demon-specific] and reacting how she does#because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it#so there are many dean parallels in this video. some obvious. some subtle but textual. some products of my twisted mind. but that's the way#i am using them to make my argument.#oh also: dean voice sam's eyes going black is JUST like when he used to fight with dad and wouldn't listen to me when i told him not to.#i guess also the point is that because it's unsayable. dean can't say it. dean can't even acknowledge it. and so it bleeds through#into everything in his life#that's why it's important that the song narrator doesn't take her own problems seriously. dean doesn't either.
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so. i've been thinking probably way much about bucky's attachment/abandonment issues bc they're soooo loud to me like he clings to people so hard!!! he wants to be chosen!!! him asking gale "did you miss me?" after spending objectively not that much time apart half joking but half sincere bc he's used to people getting tired of him and leaving so he has to make sure.
And it makes gale saying no to london even more of a Big Deal. and paulina leaving him the morning after even when he asked her to stay!!! and lil kissing him but getting with dye!! and once again feeling rejected in the stalag when gale won't leave with him, won't even entertain the thought of it !! andddd not having anyone writing him letters, possibly not even his family for reasons we don't get to know but probably are a big part of why he has attachment issues
i've already said this but i'll say it again even though he's confident/cocky at times he doesn't... like himself . or has a lot of regard for his own life which we literally see in the show. he was Capital S Suicidal – bc of the stalag obviously but come on he drinks like crazy and gambles and smokes even before things get Really Bad. and the plane wing sceneeeee you don't goad your friend !! not even a random person but a Friend into hitting you if you're a well adjusted individual. And he was ready to give up fr when gale went down. he did not want to bail out with brady!!! AND him risking his eye to get gale a bike (which while yeah crazy yaoi moment . to me also ties into him needing to be wanted/needed so people won't leave him) so yeah clearly not huge on self preservation which at least in my perception is something that stems from self hatred
all of these rejections (even if justified at times) are probably a series of blows to his perception of himself/sense of self and just reaffirm to him in his head that he's not good enough and he is right to expect to be left by the people he loves. and he tries to stop that by clinging as hard as he can and not being expendable/replaceable. but if they do leave he can rationalize it because if everyone leaves him clearly it's his fault, he's the one lacking – which feeds his recklessness and self destructive coping mechanisms even more
#once again he would've loved liability by lorde.....#am i reading too much into a character from a pretty mid show? yeah maybe. it's fun tho so who cares!#ANYWAY i've been circling this in my head all day#if i forgot any scenes of him being rejected pls lmk#i wanted to do a rewatch to check but i have literally no free time atm so 💔#also i know i'm not like reinventing the wheel here or anything a lot of this is literally Text. it's In The Show.#I JUST WANNA TALK ABOUT HIM ALWAYS#john egan#mota#pls i'm rereading all this now hours later while high and it sounds so dramatic i'm crying I CAN'T TELL IF IT IS OR NOT#i just lowkey can't take myself seriously bc it's a fucking rpf ww2 show i'm obsessed with solely bc of the yaoi#well if it is dramatic pretend it's not idk#Also again if you disagree that's cool . it's just how i perceive him
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Michael Burnham | STAR TREK: DISCOVERY S01 EP07: Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad "Sometimes the only way to find out where you fit in is to step out of the routine. Because sometimes where you really belong was waiting right around the corner all along."
#star trek: discovery#michael burnham#startrekedit#discoveryedit#star trek discovery#sonequa martin green#mygifs#rewatching season 1 (again) and i love this episode so much#i also complete forgot about this quote she says at the end?? i can't believe i never took notice of it before#maybe because i've been questioning where i fit in lately.. so it hits me differently now than when i first watched it#but anyways..... love this show so much and i love michael too#she's always teaching me such important lessons#star trek: discovery season 1 you will always be loved by me
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as a self-identified adrienette girlie....kinda miss them, ngl.
#miraculous ladybug#ml#mlb#wish we got a bit of post reveal pre relationship#been thinking about this lately#they dropped each other rather quickly???#rewatching the eps has given me whiplash#there still exists a fondness of course#but something's not the same#upon reflection I've always written/characterized adrienette as ladynoir with a coat of adrienette paint#prpr my beloved#seeing marinette heal from past relationship trauma is wonderful and all#and adrien has been very sweet and supportive#but ladynoir was always the heart of the show#a playful tenderness#there was something unique to them#the depth of their bond#shouldering burdens teenagers should not#like the new york sewer scene#chat blanc was a ladynoir episode at its core#ladrien...adrienette..marichat#HER chaton#HIS lady#all roads kinda lead to ladynoir#I really wanted that post reveal build up#learning to trust one another again after their identities are recontextualized#the friendship and banter#ladynoir#cough chatonnoir is correct imo cough
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#momonina#kindof. embarrassed to post this one bc its just pure fluff lmao… theyre so LAME in this pic (/j)#i can hear mmk going ったく…#nn’s outfits are always soooo cute though#waaaaaah i love the fashion….#miiiight color it though..#edit incoming#future pix here#mmnn#<- decided the drawings of the two of em can have momonina in them but if it leans more romo than plato it has mmnn#bc i rotate them in my head so fast#but as the days pass i get really crazy over them being Not Romantic but still More than That#im losing my Mind tbh#the only thing im certain of is that mmk is definitely a lesbian all things considered like look at her LMAO#everytime i rewatch i do consider how gay her actions are...???#(i've been rotating mmnn around in my mind since ep 1 tbh... the codependency was tempting...!)#but i keep thinking abt mmk herself saying “i saw my past self in you” in like. ep 2 already... and it would linger in my mind#i had written in my notes a While back#like when ep 4 was airing#that it just felt like mmk was trying to be kind to her past self ykno#because she believed that the her now... had failed in her dream#so yknow... by giving the guitar she was trying to have nn continue that dream for her (leading into mmk “guiding nn”)#ofc nn gives back her guitar though and i thank that person on twitter everyday for putting it so well#LIKE AGHHH THEIR MEETING WAS FATE BUT THE ACTIONS THEY TOOK TO PULL EACH OTHER UP... KILL ME!!!!#the choices they make regarding themselves... of staying true to themselves... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgjhg#idk how many people will see this edit so im just treating it like the void (haha Void) here#(i've made that joke multiple times to myself now#i still think about. how mmnn were drawn to the honesty of each other#and yet. didnt exactly recognize each other as an actual person yet?#nn loved void and so loved mmk for creating it and saving her life. so mmk was a savior to her
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* ... wait, did you say you ATE the pencil!? * I MEAN, LOOK!
happy late valentine's 💛💜
#deltarune#susie#noelle#suselle#safeutdr#undertale art#holoskart#not exactly a redraw of that scene bc I didn't want to deal with The Entire Background. just loosely inspired by it ahah#anyway I've been long overdue for drawing some suselle :'> they're so silly#I spent the whole time working on this rewatching some chapter 2 playthroughs and oh boy has the deltarune hype hit me once more#like it's always there but I am Feeling It rn. chapters 3 and onwards are gonna make my brain invent new emotions jhgsdjkgh
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Sanders Sides jumpscare
Slowly getting the hang of procreate and he was my muse
#I've been rewatching it lately...#my last fanart was like. 4 years ago thats wild#i should try drawing them with the new hairstyles#sanders sides#thomas sanders#virgil#virgil sanders#<- always felt off abt giving the sides last names but whatever#how do you art
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Me for the whole episode:
Me for the 15 seconds of sskk interaction at the end:
#This is a joke obviously. I wouldn't dare disregard the rest of Atsushi screentime#Everything else though...#Jk ajhbcflkasbv the Ranpo chapter is alright. Seeing Yosano is always a bliss especially in the new outfit!!!#I take issues with the sexism but eh when do I not#First time I watched I was like of course I knew the killer! I read Agatha Christie lol#(This is what happens when you have a mystery enthusiast mother btw.#I've always been intimately familiar with Christie and Doyle and Poe and whatsnot)#Nothing much else to say! Great animation quality.#Episode 2x11 is my favourite anime episode so. Yeah :') Looking forward to it#The whole rewatch has been leading to this moment#random rambles#Me when the scene changes and I hear Atsushi's voice: 🥰🥰🥰🥰💞💞💞💞😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️#Edit: (It is 15 seconds. I counted.)
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A little more detail on Kendall's dating life pre-Rava! (x) Transcript (and deleted script reference) below:
SB (host): What is the deal with Kendall and Asha's daughter, Sarita? Jesse: Oh yeah, I think we hint at a prep school, something, who knows, a couple of dates, maybe more. SB: Let me tell you something, I think a lot of the men in your show like a brunette. Jesse: Hmm. I'm not gonna have a good view on this, but it's something that you've thought about more than me. ... SB: All any of us are thinking about is the ninth episode of the fourth season...[B]ut there's a line of brunette's that is like incredible effecting. You know what I'm talking about?...All the women... Jesse: Oh oh - who Logan. Logan seems to have a type. Yeah. SB: And I think Kendall has, so we've seen Rava and we've seen Sarita - oh but he does go for Naomi Pierce. Spoiler.
Deleted dialogue from S01E0 (Which Side Are You On). Gerri is asking Kendall about calling Asha to get on his side for coup when Roman tosses out the below:
#back with new content!#I actually have a ton of notes from the new F&C rewatch podcast but I've been too lazy to make audio clips...#will start getting those together shortly#also always nice to get a little more lore from Jesse!#this makes me wonder if Kendall had a lot of ex girlfriends or like...it's just Sarita and Rava...#I can see it going either way?#I need to think about it more#this does not include random hookups or flings btw - just...thinking about actual committed dating#anway-#kendall roy#Sarita Shenoy#jesse armstrong
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Many such cases of adding a third fucked up guy into the mix to make me actually interested in a ship
#I finished rewatching gravity falls for the first time since the show ended and I've been snooping around the fandon tags#and honestly. I don't really care about ford sorry guys 🙏#so like billf/rd isn't that interesting to me like I get it. I promise I understand#just I sare way more about the stan twins problems than fords toxic yoai triangle thing#HOWEVER add in fiddleford leaving his wife and son bc he's that crazy about ford and then ur situationship let's himself#get possessed by a demon and they have a mutual obsession thing going on. ok well he's already come this far why doesn't he#just go all in is what I'm saying. billf/rd^2 is just sooo funny to me and why more engaging and messy than what was already going on#missed opportunity from most of this fandom#sstfu.txt#really tried to avoid things going into the tag whatever#but no yeah I will always care more about family drama in the stuff I watch than shipping#I'm really wondering how much jk simmons was paid and if that was why ford showed up so late#bc like. I do think season 2 is stronger than season one but I still feel that the pacing could have improved with#not what he seems and tale of two stans should have happened around like episode five and shuffled some other plot points around#only like what. 5 episodes with ford in actually there before the finale is a bummer
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