#I'm totally nervous now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ballerinarina · 5 months ago

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hold me, love me between the pages and shelves; 🧸

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howtodisappearcompletelyand · 4 months ago

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20/10 stars little guy

#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic #also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey #2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders #anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop #but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes #the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e #(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm #sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol #made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details #then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao #also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent #got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night #encanto 2021 #bruno madrigal #also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience #also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags #fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight

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equalperson · 4 months ago

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the logical knowledge that IQ tests are bullshit and don't give an accurate estimate of one's intelligence vs. the narcissistic desire to have the highest IQ score possible.

#narcissistic personality disorder #npd #actually narcissistic #actually npd #I was doing one of those paid surveys and I'm 99% sure it was an IQ test #I got so nervous about being deemed unintelligent that I totally closed out. no I will not humiliate Myself for one dollar #now I feel the urge to do those free online IQ tests to compensate. even though I know none of it actually matters

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monstermoviedean · 13 days ago

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coworker was going on and on about the importance of regulating your nervous system today and i'm thinking 1) you don't know what that means and 2) if i were a teenager and someone told me to regulate my nervous system i would start throwing things. frankly it's hard not to throw things when hearing that as an adult.

#and i'm being the bad guy saying no actually that's not something we can recommend without issue because that will be 'controversial'#there's also something so weird and bass ackwards about assuming that all children are in crisis right now #it's like saying they're all experiencing trauma. when that is not at all how trauma works #and i piped up and said yeah probably 50% of kids are doing fine right now re: politics and would be annoyed to be treated otherwise #like 'oh you must be so broken over this.' no. not really.#and that doesn't mean we have to bend over backwards to cater to those kids but you do have to keep them in mind #if i showed up crying at work the day after the 2016 election there would have been student and parent complaints #in 2021 my school attempted to adopt a policy requiring pre-approval to teach anything 'controversial'#with 'controversial' defined as anything two people could reasonably disagree on #so walking into a class of 30 kids and saying 'since we're all traumatized let's do some deep breathing to heal our nervous systems' is #not gonna fly. more teachers will come under scrutiny and will get in trouble. that's not something we should be telling them to do #oof sorry. multiple tangents there.#point being. even if learning to 'regulate your nervous system' was totally achievable it still wouldn't be universally accepted #and god forbid anyone have any kind of physical or psychological or emotional difference that affects their 'regulation' 🙃#it just feels like such a trap to say you can fix yourself by self-regulating. because if you fail then what?#oh god i just remembered the convo turning to 'evidence-based practices' and how she said that's bullshit and white supremacy #because you should have practice-based evidence instead...#try something and if it works then it works and it's valid is how she described that. ugh #listen I won't die on the evidence-based practices hill but so many people in my work orbit treat it like a dirty phrase #like it's just some annoying procedural hoop to jump through for no reason #you know you can hurt people by just doing random stuff to them right?!#fuck.#i am so tired. I don't want to talk about my feelings at work. I don't want to 'hold space' for 'difficult emotions'#and i'm getting tired of listening to coworkers dump their shit on me too #but can i say 'hey you are dysregulated and that is making me dysregulated'? nope. definitely not.#because the default assumption is everyone talks through all their feelings all the time. so if you're not then you're doing it wrong.#talking through my feelings is what i have a blog and a notes app and inanimate objects for #and i'm doing pretty well with all that. i just don't want to do it at work #I think i can be my 'authentic self' without blurting out whatever is in my brain at that particular moment regardless of appropriateness #okay. done ranting. sorry. if you read this far goddamn wow congrats. i love you <3 have a good day okay? <3

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t-ierrahumeda · 1 year ago

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i approved the technical exam for one company O_o! I need to pass a technical interview, and if they like me, I'm getting a new job!

I also had another interview yesterday (from an even better company) so fingers crossed they like me enough to have a technical interview next week O_O

#I was reaaaally nervous when i got the message bc i was super sure i failed the exam bc i was sooo nervous #and like i havent made an exam in so long I just was sure i failed it lol #im excited now aaa #turns out I'm not a total failure and a dumb incompetent bitch as my current employers made me think for 3 years!

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honeysulani · 2 years ago

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Today was finally the day where I've got to know if I passed my final working exam...I DID!!

I'm not an apprentice anymore!🧚🏻‍♀️

#after 3 years of learning this job #I did it #i'm so proud of myself #i've waited weeks for this #no one would tell us a thing if we passed #I was nervous for weeks😭#today was my last day as an apprentice #I will miss my colleagues with whom I studied #we work in a bigger company #so we all got into different areas #it was a good time with them #we were such a good group #anyways on monday I don't have those nice working hours anymore #now that i'm an official ? worker I need to work 3 shifts :(#i'm totally not ready for that #anyways let's see #now I celebrate #this is so long omg sorry

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heartfulrosebud · 6 months ago

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What if my name was Emily. Just Emily, no Mia involved whatsoever, just good ol fashioned E M I L Y

There's even nicknames ! Em, Emmy, Emma (it's literally a different name but some people use it as a nickname??), so many more options than Mia

#really souring on the name mia as of late #like I only half picked the name through pretty dumb circumstances #it was suggested as the best option to me by a rando school counselor for a reason that didn't even end up being followed through on #and for the past like decade I've been the at best androgynous guy people know that just so happens to go by mia #ignoring all the weird gender nuances I feel I know nobody saw me as a girl during that time #not to mention the sheer number of people that know both my (former) preference for mia and my dead name. not a fan of that #but now I'm on hrt and although I don't pass I can make it very very obvious I'm not a cis male at least #and I'm moving in a few months and nobody there needs to think of me as either a cis guy or by my dead name #even if they're dicks about it I'd rather be the tranny emily than Weird Cis Guy Named Mia that everyone saw (well. sees) me as #god I feel like I've end up thinking about this every time I can't fall asleep these days #it's either that or my totally normal and normal (not to mention normal) feelings regarding [-]#I wish I wasn't out of edibles already damn I just wanna sleep #god I need to shut up #I might be very sleeped deprived. experts say it may be possible #this isn't even a big deal why do I care so much about it and why am I so nervous to actually follow through on it. nobody else cares

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severalowls · 7 months ago

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Dropped Benny off at my mum's house where he was immediately frightened by the dog... He lived there with the dog there for a few months before, I hope he'll be ok...

#its just for a couple of weeks while I'm away I just worry about him! he was very nervous the whole time he had to share w the dog #and now the room that was his haven (my room) has been totally redone... We put his bed in there though.#and the dog apparently doesn't go in there?#mostly worried about him getting used to it again and not running off outside or something

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orcelito · 7 months ago

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I'm genuinely so excited for gencon, it made me do my homework early and I'm gonna do my exam today. So that it won't risk getting in the way of gencon.

Things I'm going to do that I'm most excited about:

Combat Classes for: sword, knife, longsword, saber, kendo, And rogue stage fighting

Introduction to dice making class

Panel on Eberron With Keith Baker AND it'll give out a commemorative d20 as part of it

Panel with critical role artists (not the players themselves, but people who work on the comics and such)

TAZ book launch event for the latest comic book WITH copies of said comic book handed out as part of it

McElroy TTRPG liveplay panel

Signing & selfie with the McElroys (Minus Justin lol)

And those are just the panels!!! Not even all of them. I also have panels for making a hollow book box, making a dice set bracelet, and a panel on gamemaster & writing (specifically bridging between being a gamemaster and being a writer, which is great for me, the writer who wants to gm at some point)

There's also going to be the merch room (so many DIIIIIICE) and assorted other open things. The biggest tabletop gaming convention in North America!!!!!!! I'm PUMPED!!!!!!!!!

#speculation nation #im still a little sad the critical role players wont be here this year. theyve attended in the past.#but that's ok!! still plenty of other things to do. and im excited about meeting the mcelroys in person hfkshfkd #actually a little nervous about that one. i havent been as interactive with their stuff in recent years #but im still an old TAZ fan and have enjoyed their stuff since 2016. that's so long ago!!!! i'm gonna die!!!!!#hfkshfkd my thursday is the most busy. 7 panels that day alone. out of a total of 15 across 4 days.#aka i have Almost half of all my panels just in one day. i will be a busy bee. thats why im gonna pack food lol.#im just vibrating. my first gencon!!! it's so exciting!!!#and im excited about getting personal experience with combat forms for enriching my action writing #and im excited about getting a preview for dice making bc that's smth ive wanted to get into for years now!!!!#and im also just thinking about how many Fucking dice there will be. my personal wonderland.#my sister mentioned that there will be a section for miniatures Specifically the maps that will be used in games later #which will be so fun to look at. i love looking at cool miniature models.#im going to be kind of obnoxious maybe hfkshfkd so im sorry if ppl dont care about my con happenings.#but i havent been to a convention since 2019 and i am EXCITED!!! WAHOO!!!!!!!

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accoochtrement · 8 months ago

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ugh I'm on my period. someone please shoot me in the head

#Also I'm experiencing a major NPD crash #Started last night #Dying send help #And Macabre is sick #I'm really worried #If he dies I'm gonna kill myself #I'm already teetering on the edge of life and death #Tw: last night I literally shoved a knife down my throat #i'm at my limit #I need my snail to be okay #Because without him all my other problems are going to consume me and I love him so much and I don't want him to die and I'm so scared #And worried and nervous and my OCD is causing problems and everything is fucked. I feel like a terrible snail mom and I love him and his #Brother Morgue so much. I'm gonna kms #I'm dying #Also if anybody has to unfollow me or wants to for their mental health that's totally fine #I won't be offended #I'm just really really struggling right now and I have absolutely no one #So I have to vent here #But please save your mental health

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 2 years ago

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I amb. going to bed.

#very boring day and then very LONG rehearsal skskdkfnskfna #made some mildly poor choices in that I was kinda... verbally wishy washy on my beliefs #like I agreed with/said some stuff bc I was Nervous and didn't want to be Disliked and now I'm thinking #and praying on how to do better. I'm gaining confidence so I hope that gets easier like I said before #finally got to a point where I can look the theatre boy in the eye wthout feeling weird though so that's good #and I have one of my scripts totally memorized (enough that I was helping the other girls with theirs) and the other one #I need to familiarize myself with over the weekend. anyway. prayers appreciated for me to be sturdier in my beliefs #even if that just means Not Talking and opening myself up to humiliation/whatever else skskskdjskfnak #Lu rambles

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oh-jail-for-mother · 2 years ago

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FATHER JOEL NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG BC I TOO WOULD CHOOSE TO SAVE THE LIFE OF ONE PERSON AND FUCK OVER THE REST OF HUMANITY. I GET IT I GET IT IT'S LOVE AND IT MAKES YOU SELFISH. "he could have saved the world" JOEL DID SAVE THE WORLD!!!! IT WAS JUST THAT HIS WORLD WAS A CHILD THAT HE COULDN'T AFFORD TO LOSE

#i'm not fucking okay #totally see where he's coming from no i support him #i don't play the game but oh the spoilers i have seen so far are making me nervous #where is season 2 i need it now but also i don't want father joel to die just yet #the last of us #tlou #joel miller #ellie williams #pedro pascal #bella ramsey

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consularmain · 1 year ago

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my two hands have written 20k in undone by you...

#that's like a third of a full novel #and i've written 40k in total on ao3 >:D #idk man i'm just proud bc i was really nervous about sharing my writing in feburary and now i'm a lot more confident #okay no more self congradulating

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disdaidal · 2 years ago

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My mom informed just today that my American (second) cousin and her husband and baby daughter are going to visit my parents’ cottage tomorrow and she was hoping I could drive grandma there as well.

Which is fine. Better than spending the Midsummer’s all alone I suppose.

But I haven’t seen my cousin in more than 15 years I think and obviously I’ve only seen her husband/daughter in pictures only, so, I’m kind of. Curious? Nervous? I don’t know.

#personal #i used to play with them when i was younger #back then there was a slight language barrier ofc. especially with her younger brother #who actually visited us 8 years ago with his then-gf now-wife of filipino descent #and we had a total blast back then and it was nice seeing them after a long time #and actually getting to know them better as adults #but still #it's been years and it was only her little brother and father that i had a conversation with #not her #i don't know much about her these days so maybe that's why i'm feeling a little bit nervous already?#i don't know #we'll see tomorrow i guess

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mishkakagehishka · 2 years ago

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But i am in awe of this girl actually. She is so ridiculously nice to me and like. For no reason

#i'm saying she literally shared her study guides with me and was the one who offered to ask me questions and study with me...#and even now she was like. oh let me call you and ask you questions #and it's like. 🥹🥹........ i feel like i made a good friend but i also feel totally unworthy of it #like i am Not nearly as nice a person as she is and it's like #the fact that she's SO kind to me makes me a bit nervous

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rubys-domain · 2 years ago

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i kinda don't want to play genshin tbh. i just want to play minecraft

#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo，ide yo !!#i swore i wouldn't sleep later than 11 pm. but man #for some reason doing weekly bosses doesn't make me feel like i actually/did/ something in the game #at this point i don't think it's feasible to do every single weekly boss every week anymore #cuz there's already 8 and we only get the 30 resin discount three times #in total we'd need 390 resin to do all of them #which is literally two days' worth of capped resin and an extra 70 #one weekly transient resin from the teapot barely matters #i'd honestly rather grind normal bosses. even though i don't really need to anymore on main #unless i really want to max ascend all 7* members of my teams (*xingqiu's in both of them which i will rectify as soon as i get yelan. or #kick him out of chong's team in favor of melt. whichever comes first. would be sad but the abyss is cruel like that)#man i'm NOT looking forward to breaking up chongqiunett for the spiral abyss #they've been stuck together like glue literally since i started playing the game #i've alread max ascended chongyun cyno baizhu and bennett #not xingqiu because. oceanid man. it's painful #i really should though. as a sort of thank you for carrying me through the entire game alongside chongnett #maybe this'll be my excuse to build yanfei now lol #a little nervous about fighting the primo geovishap cuz i haven't fought it since that one world quest. which was AGES ago #but if i can beat raiden shogun without dying then i should be fine. hopefully #why couldn't it have been pyro regisvine ;-; srsly the most fun boss to beat up #atp i really should be focusing on like talents and artifacts but like...#i don't have any motivation to level anyone's talents up tbh. much less crown them #i'll probably double crown cyno at the very least. but everyone else...#i'm still a little exhausted from triple crowning chong tbh. literally the most massive resource sink in the entire game #(ik artifacts are worse resource sinks but shh im complaining here)#the minute after i gave him his last crown i was more broke than zhongli #leveling characters is way more fun than leveling talents ;-;#i don't mind going back to the taishan mansion forever and ever until the release of snezhnaya #it's just... the amount of mora i need for this shit...#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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