#I'm queer and I'm angry

[sunnysidedump]

I've been rewatching the show bc season five is coming out soon and I wanted to be caught up again. and I can't help but feel like, every single time we queer folk get close to a meaningful moment in the show, it gets yanked immediately.

We get a character that challenges 80s stereotypical masculinity and shows an older man healing from severe trauma through an emotional pathway? nope, the moment he starts to heal the show just turns him into Tom Cruise.

Show gets us a proper asshole where we can have meaningful discussions about a whole array of discrimination and proper 80s commentary? nope, the first time they redeem him and never mention the slur calling again. And the second time, they kill his mini-me and then excuse his presence away so he's no longer on the show and his previous presence has zero impact.

We get a cool, awkward, extremely smart lesbian who has an established crush and an amazing dynamic with a character who previously showed to be homophobic and could use the growth. But noooooo, they dumb down her intelligence and instead of we getting proper character dynamics and growth we get the "ha ha we're PLATONIC with a capital P" joke over and over again.

We get two queer characters, but no they shall never have a single proper interaction, because forming a community with other people who are like you is a totally boring plot point.

Here is a character who society has decided deserves all the bad things they get, they're made to be hated by the satanic panicy 80s, whether on purpose or not wears the most recognisable form of flagging in the entirety of queer history, is the pinnacle of relatability especially for queer and nd people. GETS IMMEDIATELY KILLED AFTER GETTING ONE OF THE COOLEST MOMENTS IN THE SHOW.

If they don't pull through with season five and keep leaving these discussions undiscussed, it'll be such a huge "fuck you" to us queers. Besides, currently, Will's entire character post-season 1, makes me just so sad.

byler not being endgame would mean:

- an unsatisfactory ending for will byers

- the show reinforcing will’s belief that he cannot fall in love because he’s queer (a common belief among many queer people)

- his feelings being used to only benefit one of the many straight couples in the show

- the show going against it’s message of “you’re loved and valued for being different, embrace the differences, don’t conform to what society wants”

- the biggest gut punch and “fuck you” to queer people watching

[the-mechanica]

my problem really deeply is how shallow a tolerance younger people have for old queer media. like yes, it's dated and some of the politics don't hold water anymore, but to ignore older media simply based on that is to loose EVERYTHING we have bc we don't have a lot. just because queer themes caught up more recently doesn't mean we should rehash everything to fit into a more "presentable" format that is only considered modern bc of the puritanical blacklash of the last several years and sanitization of queer themes.

[extreme-dyke-syndrome]

Able-Bodied: "You're too YOUNG to have bad joints!"

Me: "Oh hold on, let me just-" *jumps out of bed and starts dancing like the grandpa in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"

[anotherqueersnailowner]

us arospecs really do just get on Tumblr dot com and choose violence huh.

anyways be aro bash bigot with a crowbar <3

[giantkillerjack]

Me: I don't like when shows queerbait me.

Other Fans: Well then just watch other shows, dummy!!!!

Me: 👍👍👍 wow what a tidy way to dismiss and invalidate a legitimate reaction to homophobic story tropes! 👍👍👍

The "just leave then" response to people wanting more inclusivity from the stories they love is not just emotionally invalidating - it is also one of the things that keeps storytellers from feeling that they need to improve in the future by making fans feel stupid for demanding better representation in the first place.

This kind of response doesn't just make you sound like a conservative (since this is a VERY popular response that conservatives have when confronted with leftist media criticism), it also fundamentally ignores the fact that there may not BE an equivalent story with good rep to go to after leaving the queerbait-y one behind.

Delicious in Dungeon is special and unique; that's why I genuinely love it. It is that love that makes me want it to do better.

When I see that Shuro is allowed to openly express romantic love for Falin, but Marcille/Falin is relegated to mere implication, it makes me really sad. It may not be a romance manga, but there ARE straight couples, and hetero desire IS on display - which makes the lack of open queerness all the more noticeable.

So when people say "just go watch something else" in response to my genuine sadness and irritation that a beloved story is excluding people like me..... Are you telling me there's a nearly identical queer show - with a similarly active fandom - all about found family learning to cook beautiful foods in a dungeon? Is my favorite-guy-ever Senshi going to be there? Is there actually a place for me to go to??

OR is there only one Delicious in Dungeon, and that's what makes it great?

I think actually folks who respond this way just want me to leave, and they don't really care where I go, so long as their favorite thing doesn't have to stand up to criticism.

Because I don't want lesbian media elsewhere. I want it here, with my friend Marcille. Here, where the seeds of queer romance were purposely planted to hook my attention. What's so wrong with being disappointed if those seeds never grow to bear fruit??

We can like good art and still demand it does better. And we can validate people who are sad it isn't doing better without getting defensive. Critical analysis is healthy and important. It's how good and bad stories are fully understood, and it's how better stories get made.

And while I will try to enjoy the plentiful delicious crumbs I am being served (since it is more than most shows give me), just because I CAN squish a bunch of crumbs together into the approximate shape of a muffin, that doesn't mean I've been served a meal.

More on this topic because I love a good analogy

My original post about queerbaiting in Dungeon Meshi (that inspired this one with the replies I got from it)

[tuttle-did-it]

I'm always angry that Janeway wasn't allowed to have a romantic relationship with a woman, but now that I've found out that Kate Mulgrew specifically asked for a same-sex relationship and they refused, I'm extra mad.

Who is responsible? We need to talk.

Quote was from article above.

In case people haven’t looked at the tags, this is a rhetorical question. We all know who is responsible.

EDIT- want to know more about Queering Janeway? I wrote a post about That White Suit in The Killing Game here- https://www.tumblr.com/radarsteddy/715172803725393920/dance-magic-dance-the-white-suit-tho-great?source=share

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

tw discussion of aphobia and sexuality

One thing I absolutely love about Hazbin Hotel is the diversity of representation in it. However I do note a lack of respect for that same diversity in the Fandom and it infuriates me. Yes, I am primarily talking about Alastor. Alastor is canonically AroAce. There seems to be a complete disregard for that in a large portion (though not all of course) of the Fandom. I've seen him shipped with Lucifer, Vox, Rosie, and Angel. I also want to say I've seen him shipped with Charlie and Vaggie, though, fortunately, not particularly commonly. Now I do understand that desire and attraction are not necessarily synonymous. Dude, I’m aro (specifically demi-ro) and allos3xual ( bi specifically), I'm familiar. I also know QPRs are a thing. However the implications in the vast majority of shipping posts is not that a desire (without attraction) is being filled or that the relationship is a QPR. It is an implication of romantic and/or (usually and) s3xual attraction and chemistry. Also in addition to the attraction situation there's another issue I have with these ships, I would say canonically it is implied that Alastor is not only AroAce, but is also sex repulsed (I'm not going to go into my arguments for that in this post, but maybe in another). Now if you're looking at me going “Didn't the creator say we could ship anybody with anybody” or “it doesn't really matter,” Let me put a question to you. If you saw a character who was canonically confirmed to be lesbian, and a large portion of people in the Fandom started constantly shipping her with every single man in the cannon, would you still have this same level of apathy? I doubt it. If people were excusing it with “it’s just my headcanon ” or “the creator said we can ship anybody” would that change anything? No that would still be lesbian erasure I'm pretty sure I'd be seeing a lot of posts with people up in arms about it, right? Why aren't we bringing the same energy here. It's the same thing. This is AroAce erasure. Now if you're saying, and I've seen people say this kind of thing, “it's just a character it doesn't matter. Pick something that does,” Yes it does matter. There are very, very few confirmed AroAce characters, just in general. We know that representation matters. Also aphobia is a problem not only outside, but also inside of the LGBTQ + community. There are people who tell aro and ace people they aren’t really part of the LGBTQ+ community, even to the extent of not allowing them in LGBTQ+ spaces. Our character representation deserves the same respect as yours. We deserve respect.

[buckevantommy]

the thing is: the hand-wavey excuse of *it's fiction! don't read too much into it! just have fun!* only works for incidental things like the improbability of some cool action sequences or well-placed dramatic or comedic moments or a very minor continuity detail.

but it doesn't work when the content in question is ooc writing or contradictory writing for what a character's story had been and where it had been leading up until that baffling turn of events - the: wait, what?? moment done for shock value which not only confuses the audience but frustrates them, hurts them, especially considering that the creators had previously been celebrating this new character and sharing their excitement for this chosen plot and acknowledging the positive message of the existing beloved character's growth and queer representation.

moreover the promise made to that character and to the audience for them to finally be coming into their own, to know who they are and what they want and to be able to enjoy being and having - instead of being stuck in the same old reptitious sequence of events - like someone was making them act that way *ahem* - that brought them nothing but heartache and misery and low self worth and the belief they'd never find lasting happiness.

all for the sake of "entertainment".

(and let me just remind everyone: madney and bathena fell in love quickly and -henren now included- stayed in love through hardship and stayed together past breakups and time apart.)

i'm all for injecting some delicious angst into an ongoing storyline so long as it leads somewhere healing and it makes sense and it respects the characters' journeys that led to it.

but i'm not here for mic-drop moments that only serve for dramatic effect and fandom shitstirring and to appease some string-pullers in the bean-counter department.

i'm here for the drama we've seen in madney and bathena and henren's relationships. bucktommy was only allowed a honeymoon period followed by a breakup instead of allowing exploration of what both characters were and are going through and how they'll eventually find their ways back to each other because - like the other main pairings of this show - they love each other and want to be together and are narratively great together and belong together.

the only reason they cut things short is bc someone or multiple someones behind the scenes got bored and forced the story to take several huge steps backwards or they refuse to keep a masc4masc mlm relationship front and centre during primtime or they were lying to us and leading us on all along or some other bs excuse that won't heal the hurt they've caused bc of how painful and disrespectful - to the characters and the audience - the blindsiding was.

[yergink]

re: the definitive cancellation. i hadn't been holding out too much hope because i didn't want to get devastated all over again, but man i think i really was expecting to be pleasantly surprised. everything else about this show has been so goddamn miraculous.

i'm just one guy in this fandom, and i don't have a particularly loud voice or anything, but i want to get it on record that this show really did have a profound effect on me. i was literally a different person pre march 2022.

ofmd's sheer earnest portrayal, love, and celebration of queer identity is groundbreaking. it's a good show. it displays an expectation of quality that's been getting harder and harder to find in the current media climate (when it comes to mainstream media, anyway).

this show and the discussion it has about queer identity, masculinity, societal expectations, had a hand in me getting closer to actualizing my own identity. it ignited in me a profound desire for more portrayals of genuine expression, and felt like a breath of fresh air in our irony-poisoned culture.

ofmd is funny. and it's loving. and it's honest. and it's obvious why it was able to form such a community around it.

it sucks that we won't get to see the proper end of it the way it was originally intended. it really sucks. but the show still exists and we all got to see it and i'm serious when i say appreciating that fact is going to be better than mourning what could have been at this point.

[thatmivy]

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

-John F. Kennedy

[mmso-notlikethat]

How the hell was the conversation eddie had with that boys father any indication of queer/gay eddie 💀💀💀

All i saw was a window to open Eddie's eyes (and for us to interpret these things) to the situation he is with his own son !

"And yet he blames me for staying away" , "but you are the adult in the situation" -> this here!!! Eddie keeps trying (in the wrong ways but well) cuz he knows he has to. He's the adult, and he is the one who made the mistake

"Me and Winston, uh, we don't have the best relationship" , "mm i get it. But sometimes a son needs his father. Hell, the father needs his son! I speak from experience" -> obviously admitting and thinking about how he NEEDS Chris, he is now living without him, and without talking to him for the last 6 (?) Months. Eddie definitely understands well how much HE needs Chris in his life

"But you are missing on watching him grow up, on who he is becoming" -> literally what's happening!!! We saw in the first episode that Chris now have new interests (the pool and that stuff) and all that is happening away from Eddie, he isn't even aware of tge changes in Chris's interests and personality

"I think you love your son, just confused on how to show it" -> Eddie's shows his son he loves him, just maybe not in the way that Chris needs it

"Who are you to judge me?", "i am a DAD who doesn't live under the same roof as his son"

"Its MY fault, and i hate it" -> good now will be finally the time he will do a proper thing about it ig

You see that and think of gay eddie??? Not his son?? The most important person in his life??? Please, use some common sense here 🫠

[cooking-with-hailstones]

Today has been a hard day for your queer Canadian friends.

Support trans youth. Support queer kids. Stand with educators. Stand for human rights.

♥️🧡💛����🩵💙💜🏳️‍⚧️

@allthecanadianpolitics

[to-be-a-dreamer]

A brain dump of thoughts after Agatha All Along ep 6:

Okay but like. The parallels between Agatha and Billy that we get to see now????

Both of their mothers chose to protect other people, complete strangers, over their own children??? Like. We know Wanda made the right choice, sacrificing her family for the greater good, but in her own twisted way did Evanora believe she was doing the same? Did she ever love her daughter? On some deep level, beneath the anger and hatred and warped sense of justice did it hurt her to try to kill her own child? She believed Agatha would bring countless death and destruction, that she was destined to be evil. As warped as her justifications were did she see it as a selfless sacrifice like Wanda's? Does that make it right? Does Billy have as much reason as Agatha to be angry with his mother for choosing to let him and his brother die? Do her truly selfless intentions matter to a child was just desperate to survive? Will he be able to forgive Wanda before that resentment is used against him? Is Agatha just trying to manipulate him by taunting him about Wanda or does she truly see a bit of herself in a child whose mother tried to kill him? (Edited)

Both of them were forced to do something horrible just to survive??? Agatha had to murder her own family. Billy had to steal the body of a boy who had just died. He had to pretend to be the child of these poor unsuspecting parents who just want their son back. Who have no idea their child is dead. The Kaplans will never get to bury William. He has to look them in the eye every single day knowing he's not really their son but what else was he supposed to do? He hates what he's doing to these people but what choice did he have? Could he even control it or did his soul instinctively seek out a new vessel to protect itself? Agatha was just a child who didn't want to die. Billy was just a child who didn't want to die. Were they selfish? Could they control it? Can we truly blame them if they could?

Both of them do terrible things when they feel backed into a corner or overwhelmed or emotional??? Things that they come to regret as soon as the emotions clear??? Billy looked horrified when he finally realized what he had done to Lilia and Jen but he's an intensely powerful and traumatized child who was overcome with grief and anger. Do we really think every single one of Agatha's kills was 100% self-defense? Do we really think she never killed someone in a fit of anger only to regret it after? And maybe Agatha has come to accept and embrace that now but she must have been like Billy when she was young. (Billy is literally the same age Agatha was when she killed her coven and was even younger when he took William's body) She must have been horrified at her power, at the things she did when she felt trapped. She must have bent over backward trying to defend herself and justify her own actions before realizing no one would believe she didn't want to do those things so she might as well embrace her power to its fullest potential ("I'm not that nice").

Both of them are walking the road for someone they lost??? I know Agatha says she's on the road for her power back but that's not how the road works, right? It doesn't give you what you want it gives you what you're missing. I think if Agatha was really able to get anything at all in the world, it wouldn't be her magic. Agatha is looking for Nicky. Billy is looking for Tommy. I don't know if either of them will really get that at the end but they are absolutely in this for the same reason.

I know there are mixed responses to this episode (at least when I first scrolled through the tag) but I for one really enjoyed it. I was really worried they were going to half-ass the explanation for why Billy was being Like This and fuck up one of the only queer Marvel Comics characters but comparing his actions to Agatha's and showing us this kid who is SO MUCH like how Agatha must have been when she was his age is so much fun actually. Like, it would have been really great but pacing-wise we probably couldn't have spent the necessary time going back into Agatha's past and diving deep into her progression from "scared child who does horrible things out of desperation for survival" to "cutthroat witch who is more than eager to hurt and betray others for her own personal gain". But we get to see it happen to Billy over the rest of the season and maybe even multiple MCU projects!!! Or maybe we'll get to see him make different choices. Maybe Agatha will be able to give him the chance no one gave her. Maybe history doesn't have to repeat itself. Maybe Billy's journey will give Agatha the chance to change her own story once and for all.

Idk this is really rambly and maybe my opinion will change as I think about it more but my first reactions are positive. Yeah on a meta level it sucks that the wlw couple is moving so slowly in their own show while the young, conventionally attractive mlm couple got to kiss within their first few minutes of screentime and they probably could have put in the effort to intentionally combat the miserable lesbians trope. But on a story level, I'm personally glad they're not rushing Agatha and Rio's arc. They're definitely going to get their moment but the reason they're so compelling is because of their history and the tragedy between them. We don't have all the details of what really happened between them yet but I don't think it's something you can just kiss and make up about. Billy and Eddie are teenagers with no real baggage between them. Agatha and Rio have possibly centuries of hurt and anger and betrayal to work through Let Them Cook! It'll be that much sweeter and their relationship is one of the CORE overarching plots of the show you don't want them to rush it. (Also I personally am too ace for the "we're gonna make up by having hot sex about it" type of conflict resolution and would have hated if Agatha and Rio were intimate before sorting at least some of their shit out but that's just me ik a lot of people would have enjoyed it and I'm sure it could have been really compelling but I actually cannot stand those kinds of plots most of the time.)

Also just keep in mind that the only other named queer characters we've had in the MCU literally ever are Phastos and Ben in the Eternals and like. Yeah it shouldn't have taken this long for a queer lead but the massive jump??? We went from one character (out of like ten mains) whose partner has minimal personality traits and like five minutes of screen time to a show with two main character on-screen queer romances!!!! In the Marvel Cinematic Universe??? And one of them is a season-long complex and interesting story that is a central plot of the series and not just half-baked fanservice!!! And one is just sweet innocent love between kids who care about each other!!! I do wish wlw stories didn't always have to come with attractive cis gay men but do y'all understand how huge this is for the MCU????? It shouldn't have taken this long and we can definitely criticize the negative tropes the show falls victim to but net positive progress is always something to be happy about. If you're not familiar with the greater MCU and the history of Marvel in general just understand that this is actually insane for them and I'm so excited for the doors that just opened for future queer storylines, but that can only happen if we show Marvel that, yes we do want queer characters being openly intimate on screen. Be happy for Billy, keep being happy for Agatha and Rio during all stages of their story and maybe we'll get to see more of this!!!

[samuel-star]

Disability isn't "adult".

The fact of the matter is that, even though they would just love to deny it, able-bodied people think that disability is a sign of your age. They avoid acknowledging any sign that a child could have a physical disability, even if it is screaming in their face. An 8 year old is in pain after failing the pacer test and complains that they have shin splints, the bridges of their feet hurt, they feel dizzy. And their able-bodied PE teacher tells them, "that means you don't run enough, those things will go away if you work out more often." And that child will believe them. That kid will internalize that. "All of this pain I feel is my fault. I run around the playground with my friends, but maybe it's because I sit down more often than them. If my shins hurt when I run, but running will get rid of that pain, what am I supposed to do?"

And it takes years of assuming that all of this pain was normal, everyone would experience this if they were lazy, for them to finally go to the doctor. Years of avoidable pain. Years of feeling lazy. And that kid, the child that never learned that the pain could've been relieved, will never forgive those teachers. And those teachers won't give a shit. Of course they won't, why would they? They told a child that they were normal, told a kid that it's something that can be fixed easily with the very exercise that hurts them, that teacher was clearly in the right. Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. A connective tissue disorder that explained everything that they had experienced, down to the smallest thing, even the constant joint popping every time they move. The shooting pains that they would get in a random joint for weeks on end which would randomly just dissipate.

At this point, I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe I wish I could go back, tell that kid that he should tell his mom about the pain in the bridges of his feet. Something that would've helped me in the long run. Maybe I should've told my doctor about my "zombie foot", where I turned my leg 180 degrees around while standing in place.

Because of those teachers, I have to relearn my own limits, understand that if I'm in pain and there's a way to relieve some of it, fucking do it! I know that I've grown as a person since I learned about my disability, but now I'm seeing the rage I never released and I wish I had half as filthy a vocabulary when I was in 3rd grade as I do now! Even just a good "fuck off" would be nice. Knowing that I didn't just take what they were saying as fact. For anyone who read through all of this, you're fucking awesome, and there isn't a person who deserves chronic pain. Nobody "deserves" it. No one is "at fault" for a chronic disability. I'm not disabled because I'm lazy. I have to rest and heal because I'm disabled. Because I'm human!

I'm going to use my wheelchair in public because I know that my hips stop hurting when I use it. I'm going to sit down if my feet hurt because I know there might be less pain later if I take care of myself. Self care shouldn't be something you shame people for, and to anyone who thinks that the validity of my disability depends on how much pain I'm in, fuck you. Fuck you, go learn basic human empathy and get back to me with an apology. I have nothing to prove to strangers, I'm living my life to the best of my abilities, and that means using my wheelchair. Thank you guys for reading, have a fucking awesome day, and drink some water.

[hazel2468]

I know I've said something similar before but like.

People are all "uwu we shouldn't let kids do hormone blockers or have surgeries because children can't consent to that!" and like. Aside from the fact that no one is doing gender affirming procedures on kids.

I would be willing to bet my left tit that these are the EXACT same fucks who would have given me shit from middle to high school and into college about getting laser hair removal, about my voice change from a soprano to an alto (not severe but noticeable, as I was a singer), who said I should amputate my healthy stomach so I could be more thin and "ladylike", who gave me ENDLESS shit for my body hair, including facial hair, who demanded I shave and pluck and squeeze myself into clothes and an image that didn't fit me and who ENCOURAGED me to take medications and have procedures that would permanently alter (and in the case of weight loss surgery? Damage, most likely) my body to fit what THEY thought I should be.

All because I have PCOS. My body is not what people expect of a cis woman's body.

Gee. It's almost like it has nothing to do with kids not consenting, and EVERYTHING to do with these chucklefucks wanting to deny trans kids access to life-saving care AND wanting to force intersex kids into medical treatment that they, by their own logic, cannot consent to.

But that's all fine when they're making us intersex folks "normal", huh?

[howtosingit]

I'm sorry but... 🚨 ARM 🚨