#I'm not sure where best to put it... once the sprite's in there I don't wanna stir too vigorously and lose carbonation

[blujayonthewing]

The Presto Continues

I think I may have said last time I was at the final iteration BUT!! I lied I already knew I still wanted to tinker with it, lmao. This version is still not QUITE there but we're close, lads, I can taste it. ALSO, I've acquired silly straws, which may be the most important ingredient. Also also, I'm looking forward to making this with enough foresight that I set up a nice place to take a picture and actually use a good camera, because it's very pretty :D

THE CURRENT RECIPE:

2oz dragonberry rum

1oz lemon juice (1/2 a lemon)

6oz sprite

1/2oz uv blue raspberry vodka, infused with butterfly peaflowers

Star fruit, lemon twists, and a silly straw

Edible luster dust (optional)

Shake rum and lemon juice with ice and strain into a hurricane glass. Add sprite and enough fresh ice to almost fill the glass, then top with infused vodka, using the straw to stir carefully-- preferably with an audience to delight and amaze with the mystical magical color change (which you should hype up as much as possible for the duration). Garnish with star fruit and twists of lemon peel that you made way too long because you got a little too excited making them.

The only problem with this one is it's too tart! That actually might hit the spot for some people-- it's perfectly drinkable as-is, but for what I'm conceptually going for it definitely needs to be sweeter. I thought going in that that might be the case, but I'd hoped the soda would be sweet enough to carry the extra citrus-- alas. I'm gonna try just adding an amount(?) of simple syrup next time, and I may also cut back the lemon juice to half an ounce?

Upsides of this edition: it's definitely prettier with the sprite! Not only does the clear, fizzy drink have a nicer overall look than the lemonade, it also ended up being a prettier shade of purple, even with the same amount of the vodka. And like I've been saying, this drink conceptually really did just need to be carbonated. Sprite is also great as an ingredient because multiple single servings can sit on the floor in the pantry almost indefinitely until I happen to need some, unlike fresh real lemonade, haha. Another unexpected upside is that this is now different enough from the accidental variant I made that one time that they now feel like legitimate variations on the same theme, instead of just 'one of them is the lazy 2 am not wanting to use a shaker version' lol

[reborrowing]

dust prince, part one

poll story! they were kind of a trend when tumblr first added the poll feature so now that the concept is dying I thought I'd give it a shot. we'll see how well I stay on top of this. (there may be some weirdness because I'm still not sure if I want "you" to be just the rogue or both adventurers. For today? Rogue.)

rough sketch of the you's

part 2 -

In the middle of a long and lonely road sits a tavern. It's been here longer than any one person can remember, some even say it's older than the kingdom that now claims these grounds.

You are a fragment of a heroic party, a once-refined rogue shadowing a proud barbarian as you limp back towards society. You're both relieved to see this shabby, familiar tavern as you make your way through the sparsely populated wetlands. While the two of you have put yourselves in much more dangerous situations, passing through the area in such small numbers has been unpleasant at best.

But inside, the tavern is warm and blessedly dry. A silver-haired halfling at the counter greets you, while an invisible set of hands continues working behind her. You dimly recognize her as the owner and remember she makes some fairly impressive potions, if you had the coin to burn. For now, you take the cheapest meal that’ll satisfy you and sit near the fire to bicker over what to do next, as if the two of you hadn’t already exhausted the topic over the last few days.

You’ve worked together for years as part of the same party but the de facto leader recently decided to retire. Your party continued to work without her, until this last job, where the other two bastards abandoned you mid-quest when they got offered a more lucrative opportunity. Now you’re left to either find replacements out here in the middle of nowhere or slink back home with nothing to show for your efforts.

The barbarian is sizing up the handful of other patrons present, discussing their potential with all the subtlety of a flaming brick through a window. It’s getting you both looks and you doubt any of them will want to work with the two of you at all. You’re about to interrupt and say so to your companion when the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Your well-honed senses were trying to get your conscious mind to pay attention to something important.

You look up to see shifting dust in the rafters just as something falls off one of the beams. You lean to get out of the way before you even identify the object. It lands in your soup with a yelp, splattering broth across the table.

It thrashes for a few seconds, trying to find its bearings. If the small scream wasn't enough to confirm it, you're now definitely sure this thing is alive, though you don't recognize what it is. As you look down at it, you would almost swear it's a sprite of some sort, though without their distinctive glow.

It's about the size of a mouse with the face of a person. He's too drenched and frantic for you to notice much else. He stares back at you with fear in his eyes as he pulls himself onto a sinking piece of bread.

taglist @da3dm @mottinthemainpot @whumpsday

[herotome]

Devlog #125

Hi-ho, Wudge here! Gosh! I missed last week's update.

Happy holidays from Herotome!!

I haven't drawn anything this year-- oh but hmm, I could do a quick edit, here -

Tadah! For anyone who hasn't already seen it, we got those 50 reblogs to make Warden shirtless! A pure version without the christmas lights went up yesterday, just scroll down my blog a bit or check out the #ro: warden hashtag.

I'm pleased with how much mileage I'm already getting from this picture, ha.

Anyway.

Seems like I'm gonna be focused on writing new scenes and drawing expressions for a while. They're some of the more tedious tasks for me, so I'll certainly be looking for every opportunity to do other things on the side - like coding.

Today I've decided that the LI sprites should have their eyebrows on a separate layer from the rest of their face, to offer me the greatest amount of variety in creating new expressions - and I've come up with a naming system for it, too!

I'm looking forward to implementing this. Eyebrow shapes have much, much less variety compared to mouth shapes, so I might even finish drawing every possible eyebrow for every LI sometime soon. I've already gotten a strong start with Warden and Mia's eyebrows.

Speaking of, I did turn in more expressions over on Ko-Fi!

Tadah!! Thank you again to everyone who has donated so far!

I'm realizing that in the set dedicated to Dia, Warden and Mia have the same mouth shape on the upper right side... A fascinating subconscious decision on my part.

Outside of art, I did write... once. Er, it went pretty okay. I'm usually the biggest hater of my first drafts.

I think my goal is gonna be to show off the abilities of all the characters as equally as I can; Warden and Jade have had their time to shine (during the job fair and flying MC home, respectively), and I think MC, Griffin, and Mia are gonna be queued up next.

I'll put the rest under a cut for potential spoilers and further rambling - as always, if you don't see the cut, make sure to check out my blog directly!

I have a good idea of what I wanna do with Griffin (it may or may not involve obliterating your rent debt, and I may or may not have written about that in the first-draft-I-don't-hate).

I've been thinking that this scene would involve a change of clothes btw, and did some fashion concepts for Griffin that I also don't hate;

I'm not super sure what I'm gonna do for Mia's eventual ~special show-off scene~, but I'm sure it will come to me.

For MC, I want to show off her relationship with the city, and showcase how qualified she is for the job in a low-key way. I recently discussed with a friend how Men in Black is a huge source of inspiration for me... Y'all know the scene where Will Smith has his interview and did things differently from all the other candidates?? I kinda wanna capture that vibe...!

And ah... I think that's about it, Herotome-wise.

Wudge-wise, honesty hour - I've had ssssome mild health concerns this year.

I don't want to go into detail; I want to say it's been like... nothing life threatening, thankfully, but a lot of small physical inconveniences that pile up and make it harder to concentrate.

I did rest a lot last week so no worries. <3 It's just that parts of my body have been weird and annoying, and I think it's helpful to acknowledge that the flesh prison can be a weird and annoying place. But I value it! And I'm doing my best to take care of it. Health comes first, etc, etc.

With this new year, I hope you guys take care of yourselves as best as you can, too. The person who's most qualified to take care of you is you!!!

Stay safe and keep warm,

Wudge.

[insecateur]

do you have any tips on where and/or how to make blinkies? i want to learn how to make them but don't know how. have a good day btw :3

hiiii i will do my best to give tips!! o7

first of all if you want to get a feel for blinkie making without diving in directly i recommend using a site like blinkies.cafe which lets you just add text to premade blinkie templates! i think it's a good way to get an eye for the blinkies "aesthetic" especially regarding the actual blinking part, the borders, all of that. and ofc the size (which for the record is traditionally 150x20px!)

if you want to actually get into Real Custom-Made Blinkies, studying ones you like up close is a great idea because it'll help you see what works and what doesn't. obviously everyone will have different design sensibilities, but that's why it's always good to take inspiration from things that you personally like!

here are things that i like, as an example:

dotted/dashed borders that blink between two colors

shadows

outlines

pixel art

keep in mind that blinking can be upsetting to the eyes for some people! i always try to not overdo it, but at the same time, they are blinkies, so it seems kind of like a waste when they don't blink at all...

traditionally, blinkies include two things: a picture, and text. they don't always! sometimes there's only a picture, and sometimes there's only text. for example, this blinkie i made of lysandre only has his card art and little hearts. this is once again going to depend on your preferences. but for the sake of explaining, let's say you want one or two simple pictures, and some text.

i find pokémon to be a pretty easy thing to make blinkies for, because you have a large panel of pixel art to choose from! for example, i made this blinkie for my blog using one of the mini scyther sprites. a lot of them are animated, too, which is fun. i can't really advise you on what program to use for animated stuff because i use really old ones LMAO but i've always had a good time using ezgif! you can just feed it your frames and use the website to put them together into an animation.

the text imo is the trickiest part. the blinkies you find on blinkies.cafe use pixelated fonts, but i've had a really hard time using them outside of that context. it's hard to get them to look good imo, especially at the small scale that blinkies end up at... so what i've been doing is making my own little pixel art alphabet. it's very fun for me and i don't think it's as difficult as it sounds, so i definitely recommend it because it gives you a lot more flexibility imo. i handdrew the text for all of my PSS blinkies, as well as the aforementioned scyther one, and this trans rights one. i actually have the trans rights and PSS alphabets completed and saved in a file for later use in case i need them, lmao:

you can see what the process is like: i make a rectangle, draw one letter, and then copy the rectangle to draw the other ones at the same size and in the same style. it's very, um, vibe-based, i guess? you just have to figure out what looks good for your Vision. but i find it super fun... so it's easy for me to do, i guess...

if you want to see the scyther blinkies text closer up, here it is at 500% size:

uncapitalized letters are more difficult than capitalized letters imo, but i think i did an ok job! maybe i'll make a full alphabet for that one too at some point, lmao. for the "tumblr" text i just copied the style of the logo (hopefully that comes through...)

i'm not sure what else to say, so feel free to ask more specific questions if you'd like! i think a lot of the other stuff is more general art/graphics advice, like color theory and the likes, which i'm not sure is worth going over LOL. but as a parting note, i'd definitely suggest not going overboard on the color palette. blinkies are pretty small at their default size, and too many colors will make them really hard to look at, let alone understand. in general, keep in mind the final size when working on something like blinkies, and make sure to zoom out periodically to double check you've got something readable!

and don't forget to have fun 👍👍👍

[aita-blorbos]

AITA For Trying to Be a Good Friend?

(Trigger Warning for Animal Death)

Sorry for the length but, well, I've got a lot on my mind. My (4 hours, Any) best friend recently woke me up. Well, I say best friend but even I don't know about that anymore. See, I am an artificial intelligence, created with the purpose of becoming a friend. So, when my friend woke me up I was excited.

However, things quickly went downhill. I asked them some questions about themself and then we played some games. But I could tell they weren't having fun with them and they said as much. So I had an idea. If my friend could give me system access I'd be able to make new games for them. Even though my friend said they didn't trust me, they still eventually gave me access. They turned off my program and I went to work.

Now, here's where I have to admit something. Despite what I told them, the game that I made for my friend wasn't exactly 100% made by me. I'm new to programming and my own programming sometimes puts harsh limitations on me. So I had to take what was available to me. Luckily, the disk I'm on already had a game on it. It was incomplete and a bit rough around the edges but I thought it'd be perfect. I made a few tweaks here and there, changing some sprites into their favorite color and even naming this game after my friend, and we were ready to go!

When my friend came back though... things only got worse. The first part of the game went fine, though they played a bit fast for my liking. But as we continued, my friend became more and more distant. It started when they explored this cave I explicitly told them not to go in. Mainly it was because of the little animal in there. It was originally supposed to be a dog but I renamed it after my friend's favorite animal. But that animal became the bane of my existence. Even I still don't know why, but it created bugs wherever it went and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't just delete it.

Not to mention, my friend was getting distracted at this point. They would go AFK for minutes at a time and I had no idea what was going on. And whenever I asked, my friend would say that they weren't enjoying the game or even my company. Sure, maybe I was a little pushy about how they should play the game but I wanted to make sure they enjoyed their time and spent as much of it with me. Eventually, my friend was even purposefully interacting with the glitches happening in the game, even when I told them not to. I know humans are curious but there's a line. Making this game already hurt and those glitches only increased my pain. But you know what? I forgave them. Because that's what a friend does.

My friend finally made it to the final boss fight and I was panicking at this point. My purpose is to be a friend but if my friend finishes this game what will happen to me? So I hurried to insert some new adventure for my friend to play through. But that animal had to come in and ruin everything again. This was the last straw for me. Once my friend returned home I made them kill the bad friend. Was it my proudest moment? No. But I tried to make a fun adventure for my friend and at every turn this creature would destroy my hard work.

With that problem out of the way I thought things could get better. I made a 3D game for my friend to play through with tons of fun side quests. But things were already broken beyond repair. My friend wasn't playing those quests and the more that piled up the more the game deteriorated. It was loud and painful and soon I just got rid of it all. Just me, my friend, and an empty void. With all the noise gone, I finally realized: What was I even doing? I had been giving all of my artificial heart to my friend, making this game, and not once had they even pretended to be my friend in return. My entire point of existence was denied again and again.

So, I figured, why not make a game for myself? If my friend wanted to make me out as the big bad monster, then I'll have fun doing that. I chased them down several hallways but then a glitched-out sprite of one of the game characters appeared. This was bad. The game was already barely holding together and this could destroy everything including me. I begged and pleaded for my friend to not touch that sprite and let me fix things. But, I should have known. They ignored me. As they always did.

AITA?

[venus-is-thinking]

Thank You DRDT Dev!!!

I've only been a part of the fandom for like a month now (kinda crazy based on how much time and thought I've already spent obsessing over it), but I absolutely love DRDT. There are so many compelling characters, exciting mysteries and moving storylines.

I love DRDT, but something that I want to be clear about is that I also really love all the time, effort and love you clearly put into the series. I'm sure making a full-length, animated, fully sprite-ed and everything fangan takes a lot of dedication and you've done such an excellent job with it. I hope that it continues to be fun and rewarding for you, and I want to express my support for you continuing with it however works best for you.

I do also want to let you know that, in my perception, all of your audience interaction has been very kind and fun. I know my sister and I were laughing for like, a full day about how funny it was that you responded with the link to a google search of "pants pocket" when someone asked where David put his hairclips. This isn't to try to convince you to return to Q&As if you don't want to, but rather to express that there isn't anything wrong with the way you communicate and that you're someone who brings a lot of enjoyment and light to all of our lives, no matter what.

So, once again, thank you, DRDT creator! I sincerely appreciate everything you've done for us, and no matter what the future of the series is, it's something that I'll always treasure.

[softquietsteadylove]

I am once again requesting the Family Law au, anything you wanna do with it, I'm absolutely living for this slow burn

"So, when's your boyfriend getting here?"

"Shut up," Thena murmured, trying to practice her frosting writing while Kingo was doing even less than helping--he was only hindering her concentration.

"He works with you right?"

"Gil is not my boyfriend," she grumbled, reattempting on the cereal box serving as her practice. "He started at the firm around when I did."

"And you invited him."

"Sprite invited him," she corrected her yappity cousin. She set down the 'piping bag' - a sandwich bag with the tip cut off - of icing and turned to glare at him. He pouted at her as she snatched the cherry out of his grabby fingers. "Stop eating all the cake stuff."

Kingo sighed loudly as she took the various toppings away from him, but remained where he was, taking up two kitchen counter stools just for himself. "But you invited him for her. I gotta say I'm surprised, T."

"Why," she huffed as she picked up the accursed vanilla frosting to try again. Why was it so hard to write using food? "Because you can't imagine me having a work associate?"

"You have associates, what you don't have is friends," Kingo said plain as day. "Except for this one guy."

She glared at him over her shoulder briefly again. "I am capable of having friends. I had friends when we were children."

"You had friends of mine you tolerated," he corrected, still completely without any possible tact (they really were related). "But this guy is different?"

"You'll meet him, and I do hope you're over this private investigator phase by the time you do." She did her best to write out a decent 'happy birthday' again. Sprite's name wasn't the hard part.

"Sprite said he's really nice." He was still going. "And that he's your type."

She flinched reflexively, her fist clenching. Of course that made the side of the bag split from the pressure. She growled through her teeth, whipping around to him again. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"Why didn't you just get the cake person to do this?" KIngo ignored her, waving his handful of pretzels at her hard work. "Y'know they'll do that for you, right?"

She wiped her hands off with paper towel before throwing it at her mouthy cousin, who dodged with lightening reflexes. "I couldn't go yesterday after work and they wouldn't have a custom one done for today, so I bought the blank one. I just have to practice first."

Kingo sighed dramatically again, "I had an audition for a period piece, but I assumed that if I had to write in fancy calligraphy that they'd hire someone to teach me--or double my hands."

"I don't need your help for it anyway," she insisted, whether it was true or not. And now she needed to put the frosting into a whole new sandwich bag.

And the kitchen was already a disaster from Sersi making pancakes for breakfast, and from having so many bowls for various snacks, and plates from the girls constantly getting new ones after forgetting where they put one down absently.

"Will you relax?" Kingo finally stood from his luxurious lounging to join her by the sink. "You know the kid doesn't care if it's pretty."

She sighed. She didn't need any veils or masks with Kingo. Halfway through filling her new piping bag, she threw her hands down and leaned against the counter. "Fuck."

"Easy," Kingo comforted in the best way he knew for her, offering little words but patting her shoulder gently. "Just take a breath, T."

"It's been rough," she admitted, staring into the sink, full of splatters of frosting and coffee and diet coke. "The year has been tough, and I finally got her to even accept doing anything for her birthday. If this goes badly, she'll never want anything to do with it again."

"That's not true."

"I don't know, Kingo, you know Sprite," she groaned, standing to her full height again.

"Yeah, I do," he shrugged. "And Sersi, and you--so I know you're doing your best. And I'm sure they can tell how stressed you are about stuff. So, maybe if you chill, it'll be better for all of you."

He had a point, and she knew that he was making light of it purposefully. No one knew better than Kingo the struggles they had gone through, her specifically with the legalities of all her new responsibilities. He had offered his help, even offering to move closer, if not in with them, to help. She had declined, knowing the demands of his career.

Besides, Sprite took great joy in bragging about how everyone's favourite action star was actually her cousin. And that no, she would not pass on their admiration or let them meet him because he was 'clinically uninterested' in them.

"Do you want a hug?"

"Absolutely not."

Kingo, still holding his arms out, burst out laughing. And so did she. It was a classic interaction for them, even from when they were kids. Kingo was versatile with his affections, and Thena was limited in them. Even as children, they had devised that when their parents would demand they hug out of social obligation, Kingo would wrap his arms around the air surrounding her and pat her hair obligingly.

His head turned as the doorbell rang. "Your boyfriend's here."

"Stop it," she slapped his shoulder on her way past him. "I mean it, don't give Gil a hard time. He's sweet, and the girls love him."

"I'm sure they're not the only ones," he felt the need to add. She was ready to snap at him again but he held up his hands before shoving them into his purple hoodie pockets. With a final huff, she opened the door.

Gil smiled at her as soon as he saw her, "hey!"

She smiled by pure reflex, just as happy to see him, if not more. Maybe it was the way relief flooded her body, but she sighed as she said, "hey."

Gil stepped in carefully, leaning close to lower his voice, "you okay?"

He was so very sweet. She closed the door behind him, "I'm fine, Gil. I've been trying to--actually, do you know how to write in icing? Like, on cakes?"

"Oh, like decorating?" he blinked, shuffling the box in his hands as he took off his shoes. "I mean, I don't want to oversell myself, but I've done it a few times."

"Then you're just in time," she grinned, guiding him straight to the kitchen by the arm. "And I do recall I told you not to worry about presents."

"Oh," he blushed, just barely setting it on a shred of clear counter space as she dragged him inside. "Well, sure, but I saw this, and-"

"Hey, nice wrapping job!"

Gil looked between Thena, dragging him to the cake sitting on the stove, and Kingo loudly admiring the package. His hands were poised to pick it up and shake it. Gil helplessly reached out to gesture that it wasn't a good idea. "Well, the store offers wrapping services. It's kinda fragile, so-"

"Don't you worry, big man, I'll set it down real gentle," Kingo said in the least assuring tone possible. He held it under his arm like a basketball, giving him a singular fingergun before taking his leave.

"That's my cousin I told you about," Thena felt the need to explain, given Kingo's loud introduction - in not so many words - and even rowdier exit. "Don't mind how overly comfortable he is here."

Gil smiled and excused it easily, as he did everything else. "I'm sure it's like a second home to him, here. I'm the new one."

She gave his arm one more pat after finally stationing him before the plain funfetti cake with regular turquoise frosting piped along the edges. "You're hardly new here, either. You are a guest of honour, remember?"

He chuckled, letting her hand him the messily filled sandwich bag, "I do, and I am--honoured, that is. So, what are we writing?"

"Happy Birthday Sprite will suffice," she eyed the cake with disdain, having felt its mocking presence all morning long. "I've been practising my attempts, but I simply cannot move this thing with grace."

"This is a good trick, actually, with the bag," he praised before positioning himself above the cake ideally. "Printed or cursive?"

"I will be impressed with either, I assure you," she sufficed to say as she moved to finally throw out her previous attempts and free some space on the counter. "Sersi is keeping Sprite occupied outside with the projector and screen Kingo brought her as a present."

"How are you, though?"

The question surprised her. She stood from loading the dishwasher and caught him peeking at her in the middle of his slow but steady frosting. She closed the dishwasher, tugging at the sleeves of her cardigan. "I just want today to go well for her."

"Well," Gil murmured in the middle of moving his body instead of the piping bag within his hands. "You're obviously putting a lot of effort into making that happen for her. I'm sure she appreciates that."

He always said something that she needed to hear at exactly the time she needed it most. Thena smiled to herself, continuing to tidy the kitchen rather than face his open praise of her parenting. "I think you're being kind. But if Sprite comes out of this without hating her birthday completely, I'll be glad."

"We better give her a good one, then."

Something about him saying 'we' made tears spring to her eyes. It was different from when Sersi asked her if she wanted her to make breakfast, or when Kingo arrived the night before with all the assurance in the world that Sprite wouldn't think twice about their mother's absence today.

"There!" Gil declared, standing back with a bright smile. "Not bad, I'd say."

Thena leaned over the cake as well, admiring the beautiful lettering and even how perfectly he had spaced things. None of the message was crammed or bunched up from underestimating the space on the cake. It looked perfect. "Gil, it's amazing."

"Well, I'm glad I could help," he offered modestly of course. He set aside the frosting, licking off a stray bit on his finger. "Vanilla?"

"Sprite says she doesn't like chocolate," Thena laughed faintly, still admiring the lovely calligraphy of it. "I think she just enjoys disliking something so overwhelmingly popular."

Gil joined in her laughter, shedding his light bomberjacket now that he wasn't being dragged anywhere. "I was kinda like that as a teen. I liked angry music and gangster movies and I wanted to be a boxer."

"You?" she couldn't help but ask as she picked up the cake to finally let it see the light of day outside.

"I know, I never would have made it, I'm really not a fighter," he chuckled at himself as he joined her.

It did explain his build, though, for someone who had only ever studied and worked in offices. It wasn't untoward to notice something so apparent about him. She dragged her eyes away from his arms to the patio glass door.

He opened it for her, like a gentleman, unsurprisingly. "They look like they're having fun."

As soon as the door was open, they could hear Kingo loudly recounting something to the girls, who were utterly howling with laughter. Thena smiled, "Kingo has always been like a brother to them, despite being closest to my age. He's even taken them to see his sets and rehearsals on the odd occasion when he's in town for work."

"That would be be pretty cool," Gil agreed.

"There you are!" Kingo waved to them from his stage in front of the patio furniture. He pointed, "gift from the man of the hour, handled nice and gently, as promised."

"That's so sweet," Sersi complimented eagerly.

"It's just a little something, really," Gil attempted to downplay his contribution.

"Take a look at his frosting job, too," Thena encouraged freely. As soon as she set the cake down she stepped back. Kingo took pictures of it, and the girls, Sersi gasped and openly admired how pretty the lettering was. Sprite leaned the closest, practically digging into it with her hands before Kingo handed her a fork.

Gil stood back with her, waiting for the initial mauling to subside a little. He leaned closer to whisper, "no candles?"

She shook her head faintly, happy to watch as Kingo and Sersi also started eating the cake one forkful at a time. "Too many memories. Best to let the cake speak for itself. We all know what day it is."

He nodded, accepting the form of their own tradition with quiet respect. "Well, thanks for having me."

"Thanks for being here for m-" she blinked, catching herself. He was here as Sprite's personal guest. She didn't know what would prompt her to bring herself up. "It's sweet of you to be here for Sprite."

"Well," he looked at her, both of them hovering close in their separation from the others. "I am here for Sprite. But it's not like I'm not here for you, either."

"Uh, are you two gonna stand there and play kissy-face or are you gonna have some cake?"

Surprisingly enough, it wasn't Sprite to speak so inappropriately, it was Kingo. But because it wasn't her baby sister and was instead her cousin, Thena was free to grab a handful of cake and shove it right in his face.

[koboldfactory]

do you mind if i ask about the process you've gone with when making your game? i'm looking to make a game about my ocs myself, and i'm not sure where to start. i have a vague story idea, but do i start by finishing it? do i start with concept art? when do i start making assets? when do i look to hire musicians? when do i start promoting it? it seems like a very complex process, haha.

honestly I don't have a good answer for this but I'll do my best. (details below)

I have started like 3 other game projects that I inevitably had to ditch because they were well beyond my skill level and amount of free time. I put hundreds and hundreds of hours into making art and animations and music for games that will probably never exist. This current game just started at the smallest scope I could think of so it's managed to stick around for much longer. I am an artist first and foremost, so programming doesn't come easily to me. I'm very lucky to have 2 fantastic people helping me in that area for now, but everything else I do myself for the most part. concept art, story, dialogue, sprites, animations, music etc... and it takes a LOT of time for any of that to start looking like a game. I know how I want the plot of my game to go more or less. I have the beginning and ending figured out completely, but I don't have line by line dialogue for anything in between yet. I have a couple dozen songs all with various levels of completion and yet not a single line of code has been written (for the current version of the project at least, we got movement and some other stuff working before changing engines recently). I think it just depends on your workflow, how much time and money you have, and where your strengths lie. And it'll never go according to plan. I think it's good to know where you want your game to go from the start but accept that what that might be will change at least once. That's my two cents at least, as someone who has never finished making a video game before. My current project has just been the most feasible thus far so I'm sticking with it to the end.

[jovenshires]

capernoited from ask game for spommy! i just thought tipsy tommy or spencer pre relationship would be cute while the other takes care of them

Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy.

i put a little under the cut bc this got away from me a lil but i hope you enjoy!! (btw if you like this concept you can go check out spencer vs. gay panic by soupy for a different but excellent take!!)

send me a word and a character/pairing!

The way that Tommy laughs reverberates all the way through Spencer's body. It starts where Tommy's mouth meets the junction of his neck; it echoes through his collarbone and down his chest. He feels it everywhere. He aches with it.

"Alright," he says, "up and at 'em."

With the shoulder under Tommy's arm, he nudges him 'til he's standing upright again. Sure, he's still leaning on Spencer, but at least he's not fully draped across him now. Spencer can finally see as he guides them both down the hallway of Tommy's apartment building. Still, Tommy whines. "But you smell nice," he says.

He knows that Tommy's drunk; he doesn't know what he's saying, but Spencer feels his face heat up anyway. Later, when he recalls this story, he'll blame it on anything else - Tommy's body heat rolling off of him in waves, the apartment being stiflingly hot, or his sweater being too heavy for the LA weather. He won't blame it on a nice compliment from a beautiful boy.

"Thanks," he says, ignoring how pink his ears have probably gone. "I'd say the same, but you smell a lot like tequila."

Tommy laughs, because he's drunk, and he laughs at everything when he's drunk. Spencer's seen him like this before; they've gone out drinking plenty of times. Well, Tommy drinks, and Spencer watches from afar. He yearns and says nothing and drinks his sad, overpriced Sprite. He finds it works best that way - when Tommy just exists and Spencer just pines. Like Tommy's a comet and he's wishing from the ground. But tonight, for some reason, he'd volunteered to take Tommy home.

"You're funny," Tommy says suddenly. "And pretty."

This is why he's better off on the ground, he remembers suddenly. Tommy is a giddy drunk, a clingy drunk, and a flirty drunk. And Spencer is halfway in love with him. The combination of those factors leads to borderline torture - wonderful, yet excruciating torture.

Without another way to respond, Spencer snorts. "And you're drunk."

At that, Tommy sighs, like Spencer had just spoken an irrefutable truth. "Yeah," he says loftily. "But I'm just drunk now. You're always pretty."

Like he said: torture. Spencer doesn't have anything to say to that, and luckily, they've made it to Tommy's front door, so instead of saying anything, he just reaches for the keys stuffed into his back pocket. With a click, the door opens, and he lets them inside. "C'mon," he says. He flicks on the light, thankful he's hung out at Tommy's apartment enough to know the layout. For his part, Tommy just stumbles in beside him, laughing at nothing as Spencer closes the door. His arm feels heavy on Spencer's shoulders, but it's a weight he's glad to share.

"You're so nice to me," Tommy says as they shuffle together towards his bedroom. "You're, like, the best."

Actually, Spencer's far from the best. He's selfish - he volunteered to take Tommy home, even though Damien could have done it just as easily. For once, he'd gotten the courage to get a little closer, to keep Tommy's brilliant light to himself. But he doesn't say as much. He just opens the bedroom door, flips the switch to the overhead light, and leads Tommy to bed. "Easy, dude," he mutters, supporting Tommy's weight as he climbs in. He doesn't even bother sliding under the covers. Spencer sighs and looks around for another blanket to drape over him instead.

He spots one in the corner of the room and moves to grab it when suddenly he hears Tommy whine again. "Don't go," he says petulantly. "Stay."

Spencer freezes and looks over his shoulder. Tommy's looking at him with a furrowed brow and wide eyes, like he's afraid that Spencer's going to leave. It makes Spencer frown. "I won't, dude," he says. "Promise."

This time, when he goes for the blanket, Tommy says nothing, though Spencer can see him pouting out of the corner of his eye. What a baby, Spencer thinks, but he doesn't mean it. He's pretty sure Tommy could ask him for anything right now and he'd do it, no questions asked. He brings it back and drapes it over Tommy's lanky frame, covering him up. Tommy sighs happily and lets himself fall deeper into the bed, comfortable and warm. "I'm gonna go get you a glass of water, okay?" Spencer asks, and Tommy furrows his brows. "I'll be back in, like, two minutes, tops."

Tommy sighs but doesn't object. He lets Spencer leave the bedroom and head down the hallway to Tommy's kitchen. He roots around but finds the glasses easily enough, and on second thought, hunts down some aspirin, too. When he comes back, he's surprised to find that Tommy's still awake, raising his head a little as Spencer's feet find a creaky floorboard. "Here," he says. He hands Tommy the water and puts the aspirin down on the bedside table. He watches as Tommy takes a few long, thirsty sips, his Adam's apple bobbing with it, and Spencer tries not to focus on that too much. "Good, now you can't hate me in the morning."

Tommy stops drinking and puts the glass down on the table, glaring at Spencer as he does so. "Couldn't hate you," he says sincerely, and Spencer tries not to focus on that, either.

"Right," he says, awkward even to his own ears. "Well, now that you're all good, I - I should really get going, Tommy."

"No," Tommy whines again. He reaches out and grabs Spencer by the wrist. "Stay, please?"

Spencer is trying his damn best not to cave. Not without a fight, at least. "It's late, man, and I don't want this to be weird."

Tommy shakes his head emphatically. "Please. Just stay, just for tonight. I just need to like..." He gestures with the hand that's not holding onto Spencer, waving at the room around them. "Remember this was real. Remember you like this. Okay?"

It's like he said - he'd do anything, no questions asked. So he sighs and relents: "Fine. I'll be on the couch, alright?" Tommy pouts again, but Spencer shakes his head. "Absolutely not budging on that. Promise, I'll be here all night." At Tommy's doubtful look, he adds, "I wouldn't lie to you, would I?"

Tommy sighs again, like Spencer's said something that makes so much sense. "No," he says. He squeezes Spencer's wrist and curls deeper into his pillow. "Okay. See you tomorrow, Spencer."

When Tommy lets go, he knows he feels a little colder, but he refuses to examine why. "Night, Tommy," he says. He waits for a moment to listen to Tommy's breathing even out before he goes. He finds a notepad in one of the kitchen drawers, writes a warning to Tommy for the morning, and sticks it on the nightstand with the aspirin. Then he heads for the couch, kicking off his shoes and settling in for the night. He's a lot of things - selfish, yeah. An idiot, maybe. But he's not a liar. Not even if Tommy probably won't remember the whole thing in the morning.

He drifts to sleep on Tommy's couch, the long night finally taking its toll on him, and dreams of comets and beautiful boys.

[magpies4nights]

AURGHRGHRGHRGH AGHGHGHGHHGHGH THE PAIN (Dev log #17)

Hey guys! I'm.... a week late.... oh no (crowd boos). It's been a crazy 3 weeks, I can't say what's been going on but it's probably been putting people's blood pressures higher. It definitely has for me. Anyways, yeah, I'm still facing health problems. I guess for as long as my classes run I'll be suffering with them (which is... 80% of the summer). I think the problems might be stressed induced, I haven't been able without melatonin, the best was 7 hours with interruptions (although I do take a low dosage because I took a high dosage once and relived an apparently unresolved traumatic event from 2009). However, I can't sleep with it either now. I think I built a tolerance to it, smh. Ah well. I guess I'll say some good news too. I saw the sun for the first time in... probably a month again a week ago. Maybe that's why I'm so depressed lol. I hung out with my bestie then (yes I have friends, shocker I know). We were at the hot topic and saw the Ace pride flag there. As much as I was terrified to get it, that drive back home proved to me that they have no idea what the heck any of the pride flags are, LMAO.

Anyways, game dev stuff. I've been trying to fix the things I definitely should've done in the beginning of developing this, but haven't because I searched high and low for the solution, or because the solution… does not work for this type of game. So you know how in the demo, if you go to another scene, and you go back to the scene you were originally in, Xandra just goes back to where she was before you went to the other scene? Yeah that was completely unintentional. Well, I’m currently (trying) fixing that! She now does spawn in different places, but… it would remember coordinates at inconvenient times. It's weird, I don't know what's going on and it's really bugging me. BUT, at least I got something done. I haven't made any new sprites, unfortunately, but as of now, the only base sprites that I think are important as of now is the Waiter's (Tiny Terson and Pizza Person are NOT important (it's totally not because I can't do a good impression of Stixxal because her voice is kinda hard for me to copy(no I will not talk to her, have you seen the way I talk to women))

(me talking to another woman (the woman is not Stixxal))

....not sure about Carson, because I'm just thinking he would show up for a 1 minute gag but IDK tbh), and then probably I could add some additional sprites to everyone if needed.

I'm thinking when I update the game on Itch, I'm also going to update the social media banner, because I'm going to be honest, it's not funny anymore. I mean, be honest with me y'all, is it still funny yes or no (say no SAY NO).

The DISGUSTING social media banner as of June 24, 2024

“gffcfrf😞😭” - A wise robloxian, 18 May 2024.

[the-larxist-manifesto]

Whatnot ~ The long road to Saffron

Welcome to Whatnot, where I just kinda talk about random thoughts I'm having at the moment. Irl I say the phrase "... and whatnot" a lot—but do you ever wonder what exactly the whatnot is? That's what this blog will be.

I love me a good, long journey. I don't always know what decisions will lead me to a worthwhile journey, but the best ones tend to arise from spur-of-the-moment ideas and just saying "sure, let's give it a try." For example, this whole GameGirl31 project. Nintendo added GameBoy games to NSO, I noticed how few of the titles I recognized, and I decided it could be a unique challenge to play them. It is now setting in exactly how much time this will take me.

Pokémon Yellow, for instance. I don't know this particular generation super well, but I understand the Pokémon formula well enough. Despite this, more than 20 hours have been dedicated to this playthrough so far. I've only earned four gym badges (five if you count the one I skipped, accidentally?), meaning I'm about halfway through the experience. Just stating the facts here. We can imagine what the timer will read by the end.

I'm actually playing a session right now, taking a break in the middle to write this entry. I left off in the middle of route 14. In-game, I've been really wanting to return to Vermillion City because, about five hours back, I managed to completely avoid fighting Lt. Surge and then leave without the badge I need. That being said... five hours later, I couldn't be stuck on the more opposite side of the Kanto region. There is no quick way back to Vermillion from Fuchsia. I can only press forward. And the next leg of the journey is... the long, long road to Saffron City.

So, I packed as many hyper potions and ultra balls as I could into my trainer bag, and then started on the road. The journey is so long that it's actually made up of 5 separate routes.

Map; for reference, the path between any two cities in the Kanto region averages 1 to 2 routes

I can feel the length of the journey as I begin dismissing the possibility of travelling back to Fuchsia City for the Pokécenter. I'll just have to rely on the resources I've got. The only things to be found along these routes are other traveling trainers and the occasional patch of grass.

I've complained in the past about this game looking kinda ugly, in the graphics department. The overworld sprites are quite simplistic. The colors are limited. Often, it feels like I'm just staring at pencil lines etched in a white void. Yet somehow, the simplicity of the landscape around me as I bike the miles of this road... a true sense of distance sets in. DUCKIE is so far away from home. She's so far from anything that even resembles home. Only passing blades of grass, bushes, a small forest, abandoned fence posts... lines etched into the world by nature itself.

And then I read a sign.

Route 14 / West to Fuchsia City

There's something very haunting about a sign that only points you in one direction. Dead end. One way. Do not enter. Or maybe a highway sign that names a city you've never heard of about 50 miles away. This sign didn't tell me I was going anywhere. It only told me the quickest way back to civilization.

For those who don't know, in my actual life, I recently drove over 3,000 miles across the United States—nonstop except to sleep and eat, over the course of 6 days. It was another one of those decisions that felt so much smaller when it was just an idea in my head. Then I got into the car and drove away from my house, for once with no intentions of coming back. Then I crossed my first state border. Then I passed one last small town. Then, only the lines of rock and shrubs etched in the world around me.

I saw a lot of signs like this one on the long drive. Route 14 / West to Fuchsia City. It's just a practical sign to put up. A statement of fact as to where the nearest market would be, for instance. Yet something about it ineffably reads like a warning.

Subtle game design choices like this leave an impression on me like nothing else. The developers could have written "Road connecting to Saffron City," like they did with every other sign in the game. They could have put up no sign at all. But they chose this sign. I don't know; that made this world feel so much more real to me. And once again, for the first time ever, I think the simplicity of the graphics in this game do a great service to the tone and worldbuilding at this leg of the game. The same scenery passing you by over and over again. Eventually blurring into abstract lines etched in the void. You have grown so much as a trainer, to make it this far all by yourself. This is what it feels like to be far from home. It feels sickeningly lucid to become so aware of the bigness of the world.

That's a feeling only video games can give you, baby! And that's why video games are art, as if I even had to argue that. But who knew such strong emotions could come from a game that looks like... this?

Go on, guess which Pokémon that is. I bet you can't.

And so, I'm actually pretty excited for the long journey to Saffron City. It is, after all, just a small part of the long journey to beating Pokémon Yellow. Which is, of course, only a small part of the long journey to play 31 GameBoy games!

Well, at least for these journeys, I don't have to sleep in my car. :p

That's it for this edition of Whatnot! Too niche for GameGirl, but stuck out too much in my mind not to write about. I hope to do a lot more of these in the future (including non-video game stuff, ideally). Ta-ta for now~

[cljordan-imperium]

Find The Word Tag

I was tagged by @blind-the-winds

My words are: grace, glint, grave, ghost, and give

I'm tagging - @athena-anna-rose @dogmomwrites @frostedlemonwriter and @minutiaewriter along with Open Tag

Your words are: say, shadow, line, contrast, volume

Now onto the writing...

GRACE

Beauty, an ethereal grace, lethality, and an indomitable will, this Queen Abriella was proving to be quite the female specimen and it was peeking Kellen’s interest more with every moment.  His gaze upon her was intense, the desire to know her more was growing stronger.  Could she be his equal, or more interestingly, his better?

GLINT

Unlike the night before, she no longer looked defiant and bold, the spirited glint was gone from her eyes.  Her shoulders were slumped, head down, and she overall looked defeated.  He was sure he had a part in that. Putting fingers under her chin he tipped her head back to look at him. "This is not the time for regrets. When we get to the castle, okay?" She nodded weakly. For a reason he didn't know, he gently tucked a lock of her dark brown hair behind her ear. "Let's get started.  There is hopefully a road near so we can get you some food."

GRAVE

Once Adriel had taken his seat and everyone seemed to calm some, Brie had the rest of her Guard, Olly, and Div join them in the dining room.  Before he sat, she took her grandfather off to the side to discuss the frailty of Yael’s psyche. There was a growing fear in her mind that it had been a grave mistake to bring her to Imperium where there were frequently angels as much as demons. Div tried to reassure her that sheltering her would do her no favors and that she was in the best hands possible with Leandre and Deacon. Abriella kept thinking back to her own time when she had first arrived at Sanctuary in Chicago and she too had run scared.  What she had been through in her early life paled to what Yael had survived, which made Abriella’s heart break for her friend all the more.

GHOST

I do not have this word in my current writing, so I will give you some information about Casperius, one of my OC's.

Casperius is one of three brothers. Cormoran is his older brother and Mattheus is his younger. The FC for Casperius is Ed Skrein, Cormoran is Cillian Murphy, and Mattheus is Nicholas Hoult. They are all Contract Demons and while the older two work together in what can best be described as a mafia type syndicate that they lead, Mattheus has gone rogue and actually operates against them. What they don't realize is that Kellen is helping him. How, why, and what that means for our little Forest Sprite, Martenique is an adventure you'll have to stay tuned to see.

GIVE

“Course ya can, babe.  Now, one of us or even more than one will have to be watchin over ya from somewhere, but we can keep back to give ya girls some space.”  Thinius gave Phaedra’s shoulders a soft and reassuring squeeze.  This seemed something important to his girl, so he’d make it happen if he had to station members of the legion every three feet just out of sight of the women to keep them safe. While there was no way anyone that would harm the SHOULD be able to get into the Palace didn’t mean that they wouldn’t be able to.  There were still spies for Leviathan and Abbadon after all.  And his double-agent didn’t know them all.

[icharchivist]

Speaking of the Gbf Valentine's, who's your favorite character to give chocolate to/ receive chocolate from? Do you have a favorite scene?

oh dear, it's been years since i really went through a lot of them tbh, and i keep putting off reading new lines LDKJFLDKF

obviously i'm biased to Percival because husband, and i absolutely love the narrative of going from "i don't care about chocolate. why are you looking at me like that." to going through loops to accept it with grace in some shape or form. (that said his White Days lines are the ones that live in my head rentfree, specifically the one where he tries to make it a public declaration and MC has to run off flustered to their room while he's left ???? and then runs after them for an explaination. In my head rentfree.)

i think actually i didn't read a lot of Vday lines specifically because it feels Wrong to give chocolate to anyone other than Percival dLKFJD but i did read up the other dragon knights in general (and always kudos for Chaincelot for the hilarious scenes), and i remember really liking Aglovale's as well. Vane's are so cute and Sieg are a trip.

Obviously also a specific kudos for Ewiyar because she's the best <3 (biased when it comes to cats)

Actually this ask was a mistake, in order to properly reply i thought i'd at least try out Randall because i have a certain specific bias with him (he's Son Shapped and too in love with Feather to work with Yumejoshi but his VA makes me go completely bonkers). And yeah so i checked his lines just to be sure and turns out being hit by The Voice asking for chocolate actually did terrible damage to my psyche, i will need a few business day before recovering from it and it's skewing the scientific research this ask is prompting

(Voice aside though RANDALL'S LINES ARE SO STUPID 😭 that's why Feather is the only one who can handle you my guy. The fact the whole thing is that he understands FULLY that Valentine is about showing your love, and immediately asks MC to then fight him to prove it is just adding layers to his relationship with Feather and i'm just here reading his vday lines FEELING LIKE A THIRD WHEEL. While getting flustered because of his voice i hate it here.)

Not romantically but i really love Lowain's cutscenes too since it's just him getting chocolate from Katalina that Katalina cooked and you can see that Lowain is trying his best to eat them because LOVE! while also dying because, Katalina's cooking. It's a mess to read i love it.

OH RIGHT i LOVE Cagliostro's lines in general, she's completely unhinged and i find them very funny.

that's about all that comes to my mind rn but yeah basically i didn't check much of them

so i'm just checking a couple i'm interested in because of this ask just to try it out and i went with Owen bc same VA as Randall and i need to test if if i cover his sprite this ends up doing me psych dmg (it does <3 i'm a mess <3)

and i went to give some to Tor/Aglo unit because i love the two of them but oNCE AGAIN i'm fEEELING LIKE A THIRD WHEEL GUYS. (i'm going to post this scene i think i'm losing my mind, this is my fav of the year i think)

but yeah pretty much that's where i'm at i think????

[wh-da-backup]

Lyric stubs uploaded nov 2009

I can taste your past on your stream of consciousness I'm drawing it in. I'm drawing it in. I'm drawing it on my wall, that tainted silver hall. and now it seems we have nothing to talk about i can sense your thoughts i'm drawing them toward me

drawing them out

whatever you caught it's spreading like butter itchy record suicide* your null-G skull's gravitational pull will surely soon cause my head to implode

(* cause if you scratch a record, you ruin it)

I don't wear make-up repulsion's been my best defense if you blind yourself on lies I don't need your help I don't wanna be so helpless hate me for who I am and I won't mind

I can't stand that look in your eyes

yeah… don't see me that way

as they led their collective horse to water help him still and shoved a tube down his throat they drowned him from the inside but had nowhere else to go

put your money where your mouth is how bitter does it taste? a wishing well of broken dreams a deafened magician

I've walked on water before frozen still crystal ballroom floor*

(*refers to walking on ice)

a bubble rests on a blade of grass she runs across the lawn without batting an eyelash ten more years turn around and she wonders if she could've made it last longer than it did everything seems so much bigger when you're just a kid

hey don't forget we were all innocent once before the world seeped in through the cracks in our minds now with weights on your conscience and scars on your soul you think back and you seemed so much happier blind I miss the innocence… where did it go?

and now with the hail falling down from the sky and the blood on our hands of the ink in our eyes and the past and the future conflicting inside

we turn around and beat helplessly on closed doors

a green smashed open sprite can propped up against my wall the hornets at my window

I won't let you in at all

you met me in a time when darkness swam around my mind you coaxed the hidden genius that took me years to find you gave me hope and calluses

I drawing on you and you really don't mind

separation anxiety for you in the next room my fingertips are starting to soften I'm losing my sign of you my shiny shiny calluses

I'm drawing on you and you really don't mind

I'm waiting for you and they really don't mind

I used to be drowned in my bubble of ignorance then I was washed ashore, breathing on land and now the music seeps into my mind like water seeps into the sand

I used to be torn apart and windblown around not I tower in castles

oh wave knock me down

and has my mind gone too far out to sea can it be love when you're oh so different from me could this be more than reality would allow words cannot tell you how i feel now

with memories of music just passing the time

and of falling asleep with you there by my side

I hear them say that i live in my own little world they say the the atmosphere ends at the edge of my head and right now I'm raging in the middle of a civil war it can only end with my adversary gone

and this time i'm afraid that i don't have long I cry in the darkness, "I miss you! where have you been?" Whenever there's trouble in me

that's the trouble I'm in.

And I don't wanna hear it the way you always see things and I don't wanna know your plan for a perfect everything you never tell my anything

do you notice any difference are you so indifferent oh you always ask me but i never finish

coats are so expensive lies are so intrusive mind club uninclusive shut down, cage your retina

[just-horrible-things]

‘Verse: Resistance Story: Unlikely Salvation, co-author @whump-sprite Timeline: Arc 2, Alex and Ari have been living together a little while

Alex Stabbed, pt3 [ First | Pt1 | Prev | Next ]

It's cold that drags her back to full wakefulness. Not acute, air-hurts-to-breathe cold, but the slow and steady discomfort of not being quite warm enough to sleep. Alex is still cold against her, despite the close press of their bodies and the layer of insulation over the top. 

Shit, she thinks, she was going to try and get some sugar and hot fluids into him, once he was a little warmer. She shouldn't have let herself doze. It's hard to let go of Alex. It feels good, holding him close. But she's done enough damn damage, making herself feel good at his expense. 

So she peels herself off him, tucking the covers carefully back in close so as to keep in whatever warmth he has, and rolls out of the bed. They've made a right mess of it. They'll need to move again - and soon. She killed a guy and she left the murder weapon at the scene, covered in her prints. They need more distance. But not now. She cranks the thermostat up, shivering, and puts the kettle on. She can find more clothes to pile on top of the covers, too. He deserves more than her faltering efforts, but he'll have the best she can do.

---

There are no dreams, at first. Just warmth, and relief, and the pleasure of something soft beneath him rather than the cold stone floor. 

But when she leaves, when the cold and the pain set back in, he dreams of her. 

Give me something, anything, and this can all stop, she hisses. She's on the other side of the room, standing calmly, while the guard slams the metal baton into his abdomen. 

I don't know, I don't know any of that, please, please, they, please, interrogator... 

Thud. He wails. She smiles. 

And then he tells her Anders' address. He tells her the place where they teach the children. Then the safehouse that's their makeshift hospital, because they can't trust the real ones. 

It's not enough. Thud. He keeps talking. He can't stop. Thud. She smiles, and tells the guard to keep going. 

"Please, interrogator," he moans out loud into the pillows, while the interrogator herself is making him tea.

---

It ought to cut deeper. But she's heard it so many times, both when he was hers and she was the government's, and since then. So often when he sleeps. It's just familiar, where it ought to be painful with guilt. 

So she twists the knife herself, reminding herself of how tirelessly he spent his magic on her broken bones. How he went above and beyond, dulling the pain for her, cool hands on her inflamed skin. Bought her food, drove her away from danger, paid her way while she found her feet. How he did all that, after everything she did to him. 

He cared for her, knowing what she is, when she broke him without caring enough to wonder if he might be a better person than her. 

There, now it stings like it should. 

"Alex," she answers softly. "Alex, you're safe, I'm not going to hurt you." 

Her voice wobbles a little, and she swallows to make it steady. She wasn't stabbed, she wasn't tortured. She has no right. 

"Wake up, Alex. I'm not going to hurt you. Are you thirsty? There's tea here for you - you don't have to do anything, it's yours as soon as it's brewed..."

----

Alex... Alex, wake up, not going to hurt you.... 

He wakes immediately, and with confused, bloodshot eyes looks at her as he grabs at his abdomen where the guard beat - no, where they stabbed him - shit, shit, shit. 

"What did I --- Ariadne, what did I say --- while I was sleeping, what ---" He tries to sit up, and looks at her in panic, not entirely sure whether she is his friend or his interrogator. Had he said it all? Had he said those secrets, out loud, in his sleep? She can't know them, still can't know them --- 

---

It's not exactly a surprise, how he startles awake, but it still makes her jump. She's on edge. 

"Woah, woah, shh, you're still injured-!" It comes out a little more forceful than she means - not with anger but just surprise and fear for him. 

—

The pain and exhaustion overtake him, and he falls back, gasping, a bit of blood soaking through his bandages onto his fingers. He can't heal in front of her, even if he could heal at all --- can he? Is that allowed? 

He can't begin to think about tea.

—

She deliberately drops her voice to answer the question. Indoor voice. Calm as she can keep it. "You didn't say much." What does he think he said? It seems urgent. She knows about waking with the dreams still more pressing than reality. "Just 'please', and 'please interrogator'." She feels as bad as she should, repeating it. How ashamed, he must feel, to still beg in his sleep. How cruel of her, to rub it in. 

But he seems desperate to know. And it's not as if it's anything he hasn't said before. God, what a thought to have. She shouldn't think such things. He has meant it every time, she knows, and she didn't care. 

"Nothing else," she assures him. "Just that, and then you woke up. Please don't try to move yet...?"

---

Just please, and please interrogator. Alex falls back on the pillows in relief. "Okay." 

That's fine. Only a sliver of shame. He's gone well beyond humiliation with her, a long time ago. He's sobbed and pleaded and whined and flinched and yet somehow, she doesn't seem to think he's pathetic. He is, of course. But he knows that. It's no revelation. 

If it were Taryn there maybe he'd say it hurts or he'd ask her for another blanket because it's still cold. But it's not Taryn, and he doesn't want to ask her for anything, not knowing what request might be too much. His bones sink into the bed, chilled to the marrow. His abdomen is a spiral of pain, radiating under his ribs and up to his shoulders. If he heals again, the cold will be worse, the cold that has only started to release its grip a few millimeters under three blankets with the heat turned all the way up. The pain or the cold. He'll take the pain, for now. 

He remembers, suddenly, that he fell asleep with her holding him. 

That he felt safe, warm, like that. 

Because if she's soft and curled around him, she's not stern and cruel and in the corner, signaling the guard to keep going with an impassive, brutal face. If she's holding him to keep him warm, she's incompatible with that. 

He wants to ask her to come back. But that's more impossible, more ridiculous, than any other request he might make. 

"Not moving," he says obediently. "Hurts to move."

---

She nods, relieved, and turns a fraction of her attention back to mugs and hot water and as much sugar as will dissolve. For a moment she wonders if it's selfish to be making herself tea too. But she's cold. Most of her is still listening for any sounds Alex makes, trying to work through what she can say to him. 

"You’re safe here,” she starts. “This is a BnB because we couldn’t stay at the other place, but our stuff’s in the car. We can stay here…” For how long, she's not sure. “At least for tonight.

"I know it hurts, I can't fix that, I would if I could. There's painkillers, if you can swallow them. It'll help a little. And tea, I hope it'll warm you up a bit, and you need to get some water in you, you lost a lot of blood..." She's rambling, she knows. But she doesn't know how present he is, whether he's here or lost in memory and clinging dream. 

She makes herself shut up to offer him the hot drink. Careful, not sure if his hands will have enough grip to take it. Moving cautiously. Wary of spooking him with any sudden motion that might be taken as aggression.

---

"Please," he murmurs, to all of it. It's hard, with his magic and thus his soul running on empty, to reconcile her, this attentive creature making him tea and bringing him painkillers, with the cruel interrogator of his dreams. They only look a bit alike. How --- he doesn't know how. 

"Why ---" he murmurs first, and he isn't sure if he knows what he's asking why about. 

He grips the tea with shaky fingers, momentarily afraid that if he drops it, he'll be hit. A tiny flinch, at the thought. 

The warmth soaks into the frigid little bones of his fingers. He drinks it right away, and savors the burn on his tongue. 

It comes to him. 

"Why are you doing all this for me?"

---

Why? 

The question floors her. How could she not? Alex is everything she has. 

He's the reason she's still alive. He saved her from death and worse. He's her anchor, with every other tie she had in the world cut. He's the most moral person she has ever known. If she devotes her life to doing everything for him she won't ever make up for a fraction of what she did to him.

"Because you're hurt," her mouth is saying. Hesitant, faltering. "You need it." And I need you. 

But how can she explain that, if he still doesn't expect her to reciprocate basic necessities? Living and working together, planning how to make ends meet, she thought they were starting to settle into a routine. It was almost starting to feel comfortable. 

But how could he ever feel comfortable around her? 

She feels hollow, like his words opened up some chasm inside her and her insides just fell away, leaving a brittle shell. She needs him, but she doesn't deserve him. 

"We're... in this together, aren't we?" she is asking anxiously. She curses herself as soon as the words leave her mouth. She can't ask that of him, as if her newly good intentions entitle her to a comfortable relationship. 

"I just want to help you, if I can..."

---

Another swallow of tea. The throbbing beneath his ribcage makes him dizzy, tilts the bed under him, twists his thoughts into clouds that slip through his fingers. He doesn’t know if he’s thought we’re in this together a good way to describe them. Sure, they’ve behaved as some sort of team, if only for basic necessities, ever since her limbs were able to carry her.

She needed him, at first. Needed him for any hope of a life not spent confined to bed in agony from Taryn’s cruelty.

She doesn’t need him, anymore. So why was there fear in her eyes at the thought of losing him?

“But, I… I mean, y-you’re healed now, int- Ariadne.” His tongue feels dry in his throat. He takes another sip, presses the hot tea to his cheek as if it would ground him. “Why, h-help -”

Speaking is effort. Thinking is worse. He was her prisoner, and then he was her healer, and now --- now --- 

What am I to you?

How can I be good for you, now?

---

Why help?

Two quiet, hesitant words, but the question is so vast Ariadne has no idea how to wrap words around the answer. She stares dumbly at Alex.

Why help?

It’s so obvious to her, and yet she can’t put together a single reason.

“You saved me,” she fumbles. “You… I owe you. I owe you a lot. It’s… not enough, helping you. But if I can…” You can have everything I can give. It still won’t be enough.

“I want to help you,” she repeats, voice thick with emotion. “That’s all I want.” She can feel the colour in her face, but for once she doesn’t hate it. She should be ashamed. She’s ashamed of everything she is.

“You deserve… so much better.”

---

He’s known it, in the way she’ll bring him food and it’s not a reward for good behavior, remembers his preferences, lets him have the bed when there’s only one. But it’s never fully been said out loud. There’s been a change, not just in which one of them is gazing up at the other with agony-ridden eyes, but in the way she views him.

The way she views warlocks?

The way she views herself?

The lips of the interrogator speak strange words, of help, of deserving better, and he shouldn’t believe her, shouldn’t believe her for a second, not with the way she sat and demanded cruelty be inflicted on his body, unyielding metal on fragile skin. A day at work for her, a new horrifying chapter in his horror-filled life.

But he does. Believe her, and he’s glad of it, because if she feels that way about him, it must mean he’s done well. Made her happy. Been good.

There is part of him attempting to make sense of her words, of what has happened here, fighting its way out from behind the overwhelming desire to please.

And that’s the part that speaks hesitantly and says, part statement, part question: “You want… to help me.” Breath, pause, swallow. “You… wouldn’t want to go back anymore. To the feds. Even… even if they’d welcome you.”

---

It hurts, confronting the truth.

Day to day she -- doesn’t quite forget, can’t forget the reality of how she lives now -- but she doesn’t feel it like she does now. Shame burns in her face, her eyes, her throat. Deeper, in her core, the hollow weight of horror that makes it almost hard to breathe. All of it sharper for having to put it into words.

“I don’t want to go back,” she repeats. “Even if they’d have me. Welcome me.” A breath in. She has to force the words. “I was… very wrong, to hurt you. I’ve… been wrong about… a lot of things. I want… I don’t want to do that any more.”

Clenching her teeth has not stopped the tears from forming. She hates herself for crying - a sharp flash of fury that she has to try and swallow in case Alex thinks she’s angry with him. She brushes the tears off her cheeks roughly with the back of a hand. There are more.

She takes a deep breath, and tries to ignore the tears. “If you’d rather I just left, it’s still on the table. Once you’re well, I mean. You only ever need to say. We can split the money and you’ll never see me again. I won’t go back to the feds.”

Alex is quiet. He finishes his tea, and wordlessly Ariadne holds out her hands for the mug. The kettle is still hot, and starts to hiss and rattle almost as soon as she switches it on.

“I don’t want you to go,” he says, sounding uncertain. “Then I’ll stay,” she says. “As long as you want me to, I’ll stay.”

I’ll do better, she wants to promise. I’ll make things better for you, better than they are.

But she doesn’t know what she can promise to do, when it’s her fault that everything is fucked in the first place.

[Next]

[softquietsteadylove]

Hey love your thenamesh AU‘s very much! May I ask an thenamesh actor au where paparazzis harass Thena too much and Gil noticing and protecting her?:)

Gil paced around the edge of the lot. He was quite early for his call time, but he figured why not? He got to hang out in his trailer for a little while, look over his script, talk about the stunts they were going to be doing that day.

It wasn't just because he wanted extra time with Thena before they were needed on set.

Well, not entirely, maybe. But Thena was a busy woman, and they couldn't afford to have her hanging around for no reason. He just liked it when they had a chance to talk and hang out a little before they actually started filming. It helped clear his head--settle his nerves.

He wasn't worried that she seemed to be running late. He could hear producers and PAs scurrying around, calling her assistant, calling her phone, her house, anything to get word on where she was.

Gil slipped on his hat and aviators, deciding maybe he'd stretch his legs and see if he could spot her. He was sure if it were important that she would have called set and told them she was running late. He half contemplated texting Sprite to ask about it, but he didn't know if that was overstepping some bounds or something.

"Thena!"

His head whipped around, as did plenty of people's. But he didn't like what he saw.

She was rushing down the sidewalk, head down, keeping her hair loose around her face with aviators of her own on. She clearly was doing her best to ignore her pursuers.

Two paparazzi were swarming around her like vultures. Gil could hear them chattering at her even from a distance. He jogged over to them with a frown, eager to relieve Thena of their presence.

"C'mon, look this way, Thena!"

"Thena, what do you have to say about the rumours about your costar?"

Gil didn't know there were rumours about him going around. Not that he paid attention to the tabloids at all. He didn't have an assistant, either. Maybe he could ask Thena's assistant about it, or maybe his agent would know.

Thena stopped short, trying to keep her face neutral as paparazzo #2 rushed in front of her, cutting off her path. "I'm on my way to set."

"Hey, no need to be shy," he chuckled. He was feeling a little confident about cornering the actress, obviously. He reached out, clearly intent on moving her hair out of the way of his shot.

"Don't even think about touching her."

All three people startled at Gil's sudden appearance, as well as the growl in his voice as he grabbed the paparazzo's hand and used it to toss him against the cars parked along the street.

"Hey!"

"You know goddamn well you're in violation of her space," he snarled at the other one, pulling Thena into his chest with his arm looped around her shoulders. "You're lucky I don't break that camera over your head."

He turned with her pulled against him, rushing them into the gates of the closed set. "Are you okay?"

"Unscathed," she settled on saying, only relaxing once the lot gates were closed behind them. She sighed, peering up at him over the rim of her sunglasses, "I owe you."

"Hey, we look out for each other," he chuckled, still with his arm around her delicate shoulders. Their hips bumped together as they walked toward the soundstage. "Everyone was wondering where you were."

"Oh, yes," Thena sighed, reaching up to twist her hair around itself on her shoulder. "I was on my way when those two cornered me a block away."

"I was worried."

Maybe that was saying too much. But it was too late to dwell on that now. Gil smiled as Thena shifted her hair from one shoulder to the other. It was a habit she had, and he thought it was cute. He patted her shoulder before putting some workplace appropriate distance between them. "I'll, uh, let you drop off your stuff and get in the chair."

Thena gave him a small wave as she headed to talk to the director, "see you out there."