#I'm not in the fandom anymore but i enjoy the bones of the story and a few weeks ago i was plotting an au and got rly invested
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lala-blahblah · 2 months ago
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you ever get so deep in an alternate universe design for a character they start to feel like your own OC. Anyway here's Marinette in an AU where she's in an all girl rock band called Miraculous and facing severe imposter syndrome
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klbwriting · 9 months ago
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Not Romeo and Not Juliet
Chapter 1: Mingle Yarn
Fandom: Red Hood
Pairing: Jason Todd x f!reader
Warnings: fighting, mentions of broken bones and blood
Summary: Jason Todd was alive again. Not only that, but he was back in high school, living with Dick Grayson, and just trying to get by without anyone noticing him. That doesn't go as planned.
Notes: Here it is! Dueling prep schools! Enemies to Lovers! Theater Nerds! Shakespeare! A true rom-com! Jason as a senior and a theater kid! I'm messing with the canon immensely so let's just call this an AU or Elseworlds story where Jason was killed in a similar way to Under the Red Hood movie, but instead of the LoA going and getting him Dick has the falling out with Bruce over Jason's death and he goes to resurrect him without Bruce knowing. He takes Jason to live with him in Bludhaven and enrolls him in Bludhaven Prep so that he can readjust to living and to leaving Robin behind. I hope you enjoy!
The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together
— ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL, ACT 4 SCENE 3
               “Jason, you have to get going or you’re going to be late,” Dick Grayson called through the apartment.  He knew Jason wasn’t exactly excited to start his senior year of high school and he couldn’t blame him if he was being honest.  Just a month ago Jason had been murdered by a clown and just a week ago he had been revived in a pit of green goo protected by assassins.  They had only agreed to let Dick revive him because they were the reason Jason was even killed in the first place, so it was honestly the least they could do.  Dick was still coming to terms with who came out of the pit, not Jason but not not Jason either.  While pre-Lazarus Pit Jason had been happy, funny, and kind of scrawny, this Jason was moody, stoic, and big.  He wasn’t sure how the 17-year-old had gone from around skinny 5’8 to a jacked 6’1 during a bath but it was what it was.  Now he was staying in Dick’s Penthouse in Bludhaven, Bruce had no idea he was alive, and he was starting his senior year at Bludhaven Prep and Dick was hoping getting him back out there with kids his own age would help him readjust to living again.  The therapist that Dick hired, the one Clark Kent recommended, had given approval for him to return, saying he was mentally able to be around others, but considering no one knew how the pit might affect him they would still be watching him closely.  Dick stood very still in the dining room, waiting until he heard feet stomping down the stairs from the loft area that Jason had taken as his room. 
               “I’m here, I’m here,” he grumbled, sitting down in front of the plate of eggs and bacon that Dick had made for him.  Jason took two bites and made a face.  “I am making breakfast from now on, this tastes like shit.”  Dick rolled his eyes as he watched Jason clean his plate of the ‘shit’.  “Why am I going to school again anyway?  Bruce pulled me out to be homeschooled when I was freshman.”
               “Ya Bruce also had you running around in tights and you’re not doing that anymore either.  At least not until we know that no side effects from the pit are going to cause problems,” Dick said, putting a bookbag on the chair next to Jason.  Jason glanced at the bag and then at Dick.  Dick was once again struck by how different Jason was, yet he could still see the kid Jason was in those eyes.  They weren’t same, they could never settle on what color they wanted to be, blue like before, green like the pit, even brown sometimes, a muddied version of the two.  But the vulnerability was there, even though Jason was desperately trying to hide it. 
               “Fine, I see your point,” Jason muttered, grabbing the backpack before heading to the bookshelf.  He grunted.  “You need better books, honestly, some actual literature would be nice.”  He gave up on finding something, grabbed his phone and took off towards Bludhaven Prep. 
               The car ride over was nice, then the rest of the day started.  Jason knew he was weird, new kid as a senior, eyes that didn’t know what they were, and that black hair with the one tuft of white streaking across the front.  He would be as rich as his big brother if he had a dollar for every time someone asked him about that during the first class alone.  By the time the day was over he was so tightly wound he wanted to bust.  It didn’t help that some football player had decided that Jason was going to be his target for the year.  It started with an ‘accidental’ tray drop at lunch that left yogurt and milk across his new sneakers.  Then in study hall a football to the back of the head.  Finally, what really broke Jason, was the walk from the front of the school to the back where the cars were lined up.  Jason was straggling, hoping that the jock would have gone first, and he might have peace, but no.  He started walking around the side of the school, no one around at first, when from the back came the jock and two friends.  The guy was cracking his knuckles like he was some gangster in a movie.  Jason rolled his eyes and dropped his bag, knowing where this was going. 
               “You seem to think you can just come in and take over my school,” the jock said.  Jason let out an annoyed breath.  He hadn’t spoken to a single person that, hadn’t raised his hand once, he had barely listened, why did the fact that he was an inch taller than this guy make the jock so insecure?  He didn’t want to deal with it.
               “Can you just try and hit me, and we can get this over with?” Jason asked.  The jock’s friends let out snorts of laughter and that seemed to enrage their leader, who threw a wild punch that Jason dodged easily and then Jason threw a jab right at the guy’s face.  He did forget that he was bigger now, stronger than before.  He was surprised by the blood, but the ear shattering crack of bone and the shriek that the guy let out did surprise him.  Jason took off, running around the back of the school and jumping into the car to get home.  Great, first day and he had probably just broken that guy’s eye socket.  He was getting expelled.  At least he wouldn’t have to wear the student uniform anymore. 
               By the time he got back Dick was already on the phone with the headmaster.  Dick pointed at the couch and Jason sat, not wanting to but he knew it was pointless to argue.  Dick had literally brought him back to life, he could sit there and take his punishment without argument.  He had just shattered a guy’s face; he probably deserved the tongue lashing.
               “-I understand but you have to remember that there were no cameras, no actual witnesses other than this Mr. Harrison’s friends, it seems like a he said, he said situation which will not make anyone on the school board happy.  Especially when I pull my funding for the new football stadium,” he said.  Jason rolled his eyes.  Dick had definitely graduated from the Bruce Wayne school for getting out of shit.  “Of course, I am glad that we could work this out.  And of course, any injuries will be taken care of, but no mention of who the fight was with?  Thank you so much for your discretion.”  Dick hung up and rounded on Jason.  “Care to explain?”
               “Some football asshole decided I was too tall for him,” Jason said.  Dick pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to remember why he had decided to take in a teenager.  ��Did you have to break his orbital bone?”
               “I forgot about my biceps being the size of my head,” he mumbled.  Dick actually chuckled at that.  “He threw the first punch…”
               “You look uninjured…”
               “You think I would let an idiot like that hit me?” Jason looked shocked.  Dick sighed and looked at his watch.  Then at his phone clock, like it would be much different.
               “I am going to be late for my date with Barbara, stay here tonight, get your homework done, there’s food in the fridge and tomorrow we can talk about this more,” Dick said, buttoning his suit jacket and grabbing his wallet.  Jason just nodded, pulling out a book that he had gotten at the school library.  That at least had more options than Dick’s place.  Dick took one more glance at Jason before leaving. 
               Around 9PM Jason was starting to climb the walls.  He had this nervous energy and he didn’t know how to relieve it.  He tried to think of something.  Parkour?  No, he was angry.  Video arcade?  No, not enough movement.  Then he remembered the underground fights that he and Batman had once raised over in his old neighborhood, Crime Alley.  He figured the fights were probably back by now, they wouldn’t be down for long.  He knew he couldn’t show his face, Dick didn’t need the stress of him being caught in Gotham, or God forbid Bruce finding him, so headed down to the garage that Dick kept on site.  He started searching the sports equipment that he had, grabbing an old school goalie’s mask.  Very Friday the 13th, and hey, his name was Jason.  But the white, no, that wasn’t his color.  He looked around, finding some spray paint in another section and he painted the mask red.  Nice.  He grabbed an old black hoodie, shoved the mask inside the pocket and taking one of Dick’s bikes. 
               It took him about ten minutes to remember how to drive a motorcycle, apparently death didn’t keep memories of driving in his brain.  He almost wiped out five or six times before finally crossing over into Robbinsville and then up into Crime Alley.  He stowed the bike behind a dumpster near a Big Belly Burger before heading into a laundromat.  He walked to the counter that was helmed by a short woman with dyed blonde hair.
               “I’ve come for some good smelling socks,” he said.  He hoped these types didn’t get change their code phrases, it was the only one he remembered.  The woman nodded and pressed a button, motioning to the side door that said ‘Employees Only’.  Jason went through the door and down the stairs, donning his mask.  The guy waiting at the bottom looked him over.
               “50$ to watch, 100$ to fight,” he said.  Jason nodded and turned over his 100$ and the guy pointed him to another woman with a clipboard.  Jason headed over to her.
               “Name?” she asked.  Jason scrambled.  “Name?” she repeated, louder and more annoyed.  The other fights nearby were starting to watch him.  They weren’t too much bigger than him, he might have a good chance.  Either way he could blow off some steam.
               “Mask of the Red Death,” he said.  She cocked an eyebrow and shook her head. 
               “Too long, you’re Red Mask,” she said.  He nodded, very creative.  Poe would be proud.  “You’re finding Butch first.”  She pointed to a large man with muscles in places Jason didn’t know you could have them.  They were for show, not strength, not fighting.  This guy wanted to look good, not actually be good.  Jason watched him as they entered the makeshift cage.  He circled the guy, letting him come to him.  Butch threw a punch, Jason dodged behind him, and Spartan kicked him in the ass, sending him tripping into the glorified fence surrounding them.  The fight went on for only a few more seconds before the guy came back, trying to kick Jason, who slide to the side, grabbed the guy’s leg and slammed his elbow into his knee.  There was a crunch and Butch fell, howling in pain, unable to get up.  Jason was announced the winner and stepped out, heading towards a back door to get some air.  As he opened the door to the basement walkout, he heard a commotion and turned, seeing cops starting to come down the stairs.  He knew they would be going to the back door next, so he took off, mask going back in his pocket and climbing a nearby fire escape until he was high enough to hide in the shadows above the streetlight.  Once the cops that found the back were inside, he climbed down, running to the alley where he’d left the bike.  He was just moving the dumpster again when the back door to the Big Belly Burger opened, making him jump in surprise and slice his hand on an exposed piece of metal inside the trash.  He let out a grunt and the teenage girl in uniform turned to face him.          
               “Are you ok?” she asked, walking over.  Jason was gripping his hand, trying to stop the bleeding so he could get the bike and leave.  “Hold on, I have a bandage.”  She pulled out a roll box of bandaids from the apron pocket.
               “Clumsy are you?” Jason asked, trying to distract from the annoying ache in his palm.  She chuckled and walked over, pulling a cotton ball out of the packet. 
               “No, we have a griller who thinks he’s a ninja, any time he gets his hand on a knife I have to be ready to stitch him up,” she said.  She started dabbing his hand and Jason once again hissed.  “What music do you like?”
               “I uh…I don’t know, I used to like metal, some alternative stuff, but went through a change this summer…not sure anymore,” he said, confused.  “Why?”
               “Well, one this is distracting you from me disinfecting this thing, so you don’t get tetanus, and two, you live in Crime Alley, don’t be a stereotype.  If you think you might like something different than ‘I grew up in the slums, so I just listen to angry shit’ try Noah Kahan, you look like a guy who’d like him, or Hozier.”  He could tell she was just throwing out names to keep him listening and he appreciated it.  “What’s your name?”
               “Jason,” he said.  She nodded and smiled, finishing with the bandage. 
               “Nice to meet you, I’m YN,” she said.  “Want some help with the dumpster or are all those muscles working?”  She winked at him, and he actually blushed, glad it was dark and she might not notice.
               “Sure,” he said.  Together they moved the dumpster, and he got the bike.  He waved quick before driving back to the penthouse.  He got as far as the elevator door, when it opened there was Dick.
               “So, I see you had an interesting evening,” he said, holding up his phone where video of Jason breaking Butch’s leg was being shown.  Of course, Dick would realize it was him, he would know that move anywhere, Dick had taught it to him. 
               “I needed to get out, blow off some steam, forget who I was for a bit,” he said.  Dick nodded. 
               “Good, then what I just signed you up for will be perfect,” he said.  Jason looked at him, eyebrows raised.  “You’re not a member of the theater program, auditions for Hamlet are Friday.”
               “You can’t be serious,” Jason said, heading out of the elevator.
               “I am very serious, you go to school, go to practice, be someone else for awhile when you’re there, and then you come home and you stay here or I am calling Bruce and sending you back to him, see how Batman deals with your shit,” he said.  Jason sighed, heading up to his room.  Fine, theater, he’d wanted to do that before Bruce pulled him from high school.  How bad could it be?
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beauspot · 1 year ago
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Loki Matters a Lot to Me *Long Post*
If you go on my page you’ll see that I’ve never posted about the Loki show or Lokius before so you might be wondering why now that the show is (probably) over? I always liked this show, and I considered myself a fan but coming out of it I wasn’t shipping anyone.
Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed the dynamic Loki and Mobius had but I was just happy to have Loki alive so I savored that. Also I sensed some history with Mobius and Ravonna which I still think exists. I found all of the characters interesting. That includes this season but something about season 2 was different for me and I couldn’t figure out why.
Why did this show affect me so much? Why did this second season affect me so much? And particularly why did this ship, Lokius, affect me so much?
To understand where I'm coming from you should probably understand that first of all I am queer and even before I knew I was queer I had a want for queer representation. For me oddly enough it started with Owen Wilson in Night at the Museum. Jedtavius was a pairing I didn't even realized I shipped til I was older. The enemies to lovers thing was so cute and it pretty much got confirmed in the last movie.
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(Just inconspicuously having your cowboy character quote Brokeback Mountain no big deal.)
I enjoy a good ship. As I got older however I began to crave real queer representation and I was lucky enough to find it in places like Steven Universe
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And Adventure TIme
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Then as I reached my mid to late teens I was able to see films like Brokeback, But I'm a Cheerleader, First Girl I Loved, The Miseducation of Cameron Post etc. Seeing these made me feel more secure in my sexuality.
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Of course along the way I got dragged into non canon ships some of which were queerbait like Stucky or even worse, Stormpilot/Finnpoe.
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The malicious part about all of these ships is the teams behind them waving these pairings out in front of people like a dog with a bone, hoping to draw them in to get their money knowing they had no intention of following through.
And I have become disillusioned with that. I have also become annoyed with fans of straight ships that oppose those queer ships acting like we're reaching.
I bring this up because there is a certain segment of sylkis(not all) and on a broader scale fans of straight ships that have this sense of persecution because fans of a queer pairing don't like their ship. It's weird and I am tempted to say it stems from homophobia. If you simply don't enjoy a ship that's fine. There are queer ships I despise, but try and assess where that hatred comes from.
There is a language that conveys romance and it seems like only when there is a minority involved do you guys become unable to understand it. This is an issue within most fandoms when it comes to not only sexuality but race in popular ships. For example, The Bear fandom in regards to Chef's Kiss, but I digress.
When a character feels the need to constantly touch another character that signals something, when a character fixes themselves so they look nice before they see another character that signals something. The way they talk, the way they act, how they are with and without one another says A LOT.
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So why is it when we point these things out we get called delusional? Why do I feel like I'm going crazy every time I speak with someone about a queer ship? And why do I always feel the need to justify it?
Straight, white, pairings never have to justify their existence. They just are. Sylvie and Loki can fight, yell at one another, hurt one another, literally be the same fucking person and people will find that ok, but suddenly when people see Loki fixing himself before he meets Mobius we can't see love in that(you’re telling me this isn’t how someone acts when they see their crush unexpectedly)? We can't see loss in Mobius when he can't even do his job anymore now that Loki is gone? We can't grieve what could have been even if we find Loki as the God of Stories cool?
Why?
Mobius is the first person in probably thousands of years to tell Loki he’s not evil and he can be good if he chooses to be. We see how much this means to him. From this point on Loki is attached to Mobius like a puppy. Mobius becomes his person. I find something so refreshing about Mobius calling Loki out but then also offering him a path to redemption. He doesn’t let Loki slide, because he cares about him enough to know he can be better and Loki deserves to be better for himself.
So I was bothered by the way the finale was set up. I know they have the conversation about “the burden of glorious purpose” and often I am honestly a supporter of not everyone gets a happy ending even if they “deserve” it in a storytelling sense. I find the tragedy in that intriguing, but this didn’t feel good to me on a personal level. I didn’t walk away from the finale feeling sad but fulfilled, I walked away from it feeling miserable and empty. And I recognize that I attach myself to characters more than the general populace but I don’t really care? This hurt.
Loki wanted nothing more than for somebody to be there with him, to be for him, to love him and instead he ends up alone. Mobius ends up back in his timeline but he can't go back to his life. A version of him is already there and our Mobius doesn't even remember his children. Mobius doesn't smile at the end because he isn't happy. He's alone. They are alone and realistically there's a high chance these versions of them will never see each other again.
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Does Sylvie seem bothered by that? No. She's ready to go live her life. And there’s nothing wrong with that, she took the gift Loki gave to her but Mobius is clearly, deeply hurt by Loki being gone. Because they found purpose in each other. In the order and chaos.
Having watched Good Omens and Our Flag Means Death season 2(along with the movie Bottoms starring Ayo Edebiri which everyone should watch 😁) in the same year I have become quite used to seeing queer rep in my mainstream shows. As the years have passed more and more queer characters are able to take center stage. So even though I knew Disney's track record I still held out hope because even the writer and composer saw the potential in Lokius.
Tom and Owen did too somewhat, but at the end of the day actors don't write the shows.
I think what bothers me most is that Loki is the first queer character in the MCU, we've seen him struggle and grow and learn to love and finally last season his queerness was made explicit (more than in Thor Ragnarok where he like fucked the Grandmaster or something). And they immediately paired him off with a version of himself.
Loki isn't gay so I'm not saying he had to end up with a man or anything you can be queer and end up with someone who is a gender different than yours my issue is a broader one which is, this story wasn't made to validate bi/pan people who date the opposite sex or whatever it was made to close Loki off to any other possibilities. One of those being Mobius.
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Rewatching season 1 this decision is exacerbated because there are moments where they could have had him flirt with a man like when he was D.B. Cooper and boom we have on screen rep, but they decided “nah let’s just have him say it one time and then never acknowledge it again.” Again I want to reiterate, you can be queer and not be in a same gender relationship, but this is a television character. We don’t know their innermost thoughts like we’re reading a book we have to take them at their actions and we never got the opportunity for our first queer character to express that(at least in his own show because remember the grandmaster, but somehow that feels worse).
The executive producer recently came out and said Loki and Mobius were always meant to be platonic because they were trying to dismantle toxic masculinity by portraying “platonic male friendships”. A phrase I have grown to hate over the years because ALL WE EVER SEE ARE PLATONIC MALE FRIENDSHIPS. This is another parallel with issues I have with The Bear in which the cast and crew were like “why can’t women and men just be friends?” but only in reference to the black girl. Back to the topic at hand though.
Have you ever met a queer person who acknowledges they’re queer once and then never talks about it again? Especially someone with as much showmanship as Loki? Does that make sense to anybody? Even if he ultimately ended up with Sylvie(which I wouldn’t have liked but I digress) that would have been enough for me.
But instead we had this troubled character give up everything and everyone they love to sit on a throne they didn’t even want so that their friends could have a choice. So that they could have a life. And again I can find beauty in that, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. And I won’t pretend I do.
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🥀End of Post🥀
sidenote ouroboros is so autistic tell me i’m wrong. he’s literally an autistic with no experience of ableism just pure autistic sunshine.
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yanderes-galore · 1 year ago
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Hi, how are you going?
Fandom: TMNT 2012
Character: Raphael
Fic type: romantic concept with dear-yandere's prompts 82. Punishment, 98. Stitches and 103. Teeth.
Personally I'm doing okay and I'd love to try my best at these prompts! @okchijt wanted to try their hand at a sadistic Raph prompt plot so I approved what they did and fleshed it out! They helped a lot! Hopefully this became a good story :D (Albeit unnerving). Warning, this one's definitely messed up so adhere to trigger warnings before hitting read more. You have been warned.
Prompts Here
Yandere! 2012! Raphael Prompts 82, 98, 103
“I know it hurts, honey, but this is what happens when you don’t do what I say.”
“I really want to be gentle to you right now, but you’re making it impossible.”
“Smart ass. I’d suggest biting your tongue before I rip it out.”
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Jealousy, Violence, Swearing, Threats, Anger issues, Toxic themes, Dubious relationship, Accusations of cheating, Implied delusional behavior, Implied kidnapping, Dehumanization/Degradation, Manipulation, Cuts, Punishment, Wounds, Blood, Toxic relationship obviously, Sadism, Broken bones, He feels bad at the end... kinda, TRIGGERING THEMES AS DARLING GETS HURT IN THIS.
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Raph's blood boiled when he saw you look so happy with Leo, his brother. You smiled at him like you hadn't a care in the world. You laughed with him as though you weren't betraying him.
Raph hated how close you were with his brother. Sometimes it felt like Leo was better than him. It only ever angered Raph when you're so easily pleased by his brother.
Why are you never like this with him?
Was it because Leo was so much nicer? Raphael tries his best to be loving and caring with you. In fact he succeeds most of the time, he's capable of being soft. It's just that... his anger tends to get the best of him.
As a result you often become the victim of his frustration. He can't help it and he knows he has a problem. But sometimes... especially when he sees you appeal to Leo more than him...
He feels it can be justified.
Having enough of the laughing and casual conversation between you two, Raphael stands up. He feels his eye twitch and the fact he can't compete with his brother. You're talking about Leo's favorite show or something, commenting on certain moments. You barely even notice Raph is there.
Until he grabs your arm.
Silence overcomes everyone in the room as Raphael yanks you towards his room. Leonardo looks as though he wants to say something to his brother but it unsure. Based on the harsh grip the mutant has on you, you can only assume what you're in for. Were you in trouble? For what?
Raphael can't help himself when he tosses you onto the bed in his room. The wind is knocked out of you and you hear the door slam as Raphael locks the door with an audible click. Before you're able to respond to him he yells at you.
"You're cheating on me!" He growls, green eyes narrowed at your confused expression. "You always get so damn comfortable with Leo like we're not involved!"
"Raph, we're just friends? Me and Leo happen to enjoy the same show-" You try to defend yourself but your voice is quickly drowned out by his.
“Smart ass. I’d suggest biting your tongue before I rip it out.”
With that you grow silent as Raphael rages on. You hated when he got like this. His anger was like a monster that can't be tamed.
He was a monster that can't be tamed.
"I don't want you so close to him anymore! It drives me mad! It's so damn annoying... why can't you just pay attention to me?"
"That seems to be all I ever do! Talking to others is my only form of normalcy. You won't even let me go home. I can't live like some pet!" You snap back, fed up with all of his accusations. "Leo isn't going to do anything. He won't come between us!"
"Really?"
"I'm tired of things too, Raph! I'm tired of being scared of you! I'm tired of the pain, I'm tired of being some sort of obedient little pet for you. I'm tired of you CONTROLLING me!" You snap, rightfully calling out the turtle on his behavior for the past few months.
Raphael laughs at your breakdown. It's partially because you called him out. This was all a personal attack and you both knew that.
He wasn't going to deal with this.
"Oh, please! You're nothing without me." Raphael growls, stalking you into the corner of his room. "Without me, you'd be as good as dead in this world."
Regret bristles the hair on your skin as you realize how trapped you are. You shake your head and shove yourself into the corner of the bed. You really should've held your tongue.
"I'm sorry, we're just both frustrated and-"
"This'll only hurt a bit, you know better."
With lightning speed, Raph pulls his sai and cuts your skin. His cuts are sloppy but it's enough to get the lesson across. You scream in pain, the blood dripping down your arm.
"Oh... please, Raph-!" You cry, but those green eyes are cold.
"It's not enough." He says, making eye contact with you. "I need to get the point across."
"Huh?"
*SNAP*
At first, you felt nothing. If was like the adrenaline made it seem like he didn't break your arm. At first the audible crack was your only clue.
Then the pain set in.
Then you screamed.
“I know it hurts, honey, but this is what happens when you don’t do what I say.” Raphael coos towards you, shushing you and soothing you like he didn't just break your arm. He's sickeningly sweet all of a sudden as he places a hand over your whimpering mouth. You stare at him with fear and he isn't sure if he hates it or adores it.
You weakly cry apologies towards him as he pulls out medical supplies from beneath his bed. He feels he's made his point. Now it's time to fix things.
"Shhh, it's all over. I'll fix you and maybe next time you'll listen." Raphael soothes, kissing your head as he makes a makeshift cast and splint. "It's going to hurt, but by now I think you know that."
Fixing you is harder than breaking you. Despite this and all of your crying, Raphael manages to patch you up. Part of him feels bad he's done such a thing to the one he loves.
Yet he tries to tell himself it's deserved for making him feel so jealous.
Do he love or hate your tears...?
By the end of it all you turn away from Raphael on the bed. You hiss in pain at times and flinch away from him due to what he's done. You can't tell if he did this with blind rage... or he did this of his own accord.
You don't care.
“I really want to be gentle to you right now, but you’re making it impossible.” Raph grumbles bitterly, his anger simmering down as he sits on the bed. He patched you up the best he can, now it's just the aftermath.
The tone of the mutant still sounds like a threat to you, causing you to listen to him more. The last thing you want is more pain. You're miserable enough with him right now already.
"... C'mere."
Reluctantly you're pulled into the arms of Raph as he leans down with you. He rubs your back in an attempt to be soothing but you're so rigid in his arms. It's all for a good reason, Raphael even begins to think back on what he's done.
His obsession over you only ever gets worse.
"I'm sorry..." He whispers into your hair. "I wish I knew how to love you."
He doesn't expect an answer back.
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theloversthedreamersandme82 · 7 months ago
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Elaborate Lives - Chapter 23 - Theloversthedreamersandme82 - The Doctor Blake Mysteries [Archive of Our Own]
Summary: Jean attempts to return to work, but struggles. Relationships continue to develop, both between Lucien and Jean, and Matthew and Alice
Notes: Phew! It's been over a year since I updated this. I was writing for a different fandom for a few months, and that was time sensitive as I wanted to get it out before S2 aired, and then early this year my best friend died. I've just been focusing on getting through the day and haven't had much brain space left to write. I've also been discovering that I have ADHD. This update is nice and long for you to enjoy. Please be assured that unless I've actively said I'm not working on this anymore, I'm still intending to finish it, and don't harass me about it. I do this in my spare time, for free. I'm currently working on the next three chapters which have the bare bones written. If you've read any of my other stuff the scenes between Matthew and Alice may seem familiar. I've reused and rewritten some of the stuff from one of my other stories.
I'm giving up on ff.net for now. It's buggy and a lot harder to use. Sorry.
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thatweirdbitchjax · 3 months ago
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OC DICTIONARY
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Cole Jane Rhue
Age: 17
Nicknames: C-4
Species:Cow
Occupation: Murderer
Fandom: slasher_jax
Taken: Nope
Pronouns: He/Him or They/Them
Them as a quote I've heard before:
Its hard to turn the page when you know someone won't be in the next chapter, but the story continues.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Cindy Clare Collins
Age: 26
Nicknames: CC, Ghosty
Species: Ghost
Occupation: Being dead
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: Nuh-uh
Pronouns: She/They
Them as a quote I've heard before:
I know I have friends, but I feel like I have no one to talk to about the shit that goes on in my head.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Genie Uzu Xyno
Age: 19
Nicknames: Gene, Z
Species: Cat
Occupation: Witch
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: She/They
Them as a quote I've heard before:
Not friends, not enemies. Just strangers with some memory's.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Vincent Zeno Clark
Age: 1000+
Nicknames: Spidy, SPIDDER, Z, Vin
Species: Arachnid
Occupation: Webmaking
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: Nope
Pronouns: He/Him
Them as a quote I've heard before:
Enjoy life, there's plenty of time to be dead.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Voy
Age: unknown
Nicknames: Little guy, little baby, cutie pie
Species: Alien
Occupation: Being cute ans ruining lives
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: Ze/Zeno
Them as a quote I've heard before:
ÆæææÆæÆÆæ
(You'll never know someones true intentions until its too late)
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Jordy Clark Stevens
Age: 17
Nicknames: Jord
Species: Vampire
Occupation: High School Student
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: Yes
Pronouns: He/Him
Them as a quote I've heard before:
If I can't have you, no one can.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Zara Trudy Freeman
Age: 17
Nicknames: Zar, Mars
Species: Human
Occupation: High School Student
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: Yes
Pronouns: She/Her
Them as a quote I've heard before:
I don't wanna be here anymore, but I'm trapped by a delusional man
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Jaxon
Age: 15
Nicknames: J, JJ, Jax-o-Lantern, Jax
Species: Human
Occupation: Author/Artist
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: Nope
Pronouns: He/Him They/Them
Them as a quote I've heard before:
Sleep isn't just sleep anymore, its an escape.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Jared Ford Thompson
Age: 25
Nicknames: Jare, Jade, Jady
Species: Part Goat
Occupation: unknown
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: He/She
Them as a quote I've heard before:
I'm not a milf chaser, she just happens to be a milf.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Bones the Skeleton Clown
Age: unknown
Nicknames: Skelly, Bo
Species: Demonic Clown
Occupation: Clown
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: He/Him
Them as a quote I've heard before:
If you tired of me, then go take a nap, cause I ain't going no where.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Winifred Iris Afton
Age: 15
Nicknames: Winnie, Mini William, Raven Inkwell
Species: Soul/Animatronic
Occupation: Animatronic Mechanic
Fandom: FNAF|slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: She/Her
Them as a quote I've heard before:
Be careful who you trust, sugar looks exactly like salt.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Rosabelle Krista Stuarts
Age: 6
Nicknames: Rosy, Belle, Krissy, Stu
Species: Human
Occupation: BEING ADORABLE
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: She/Her
Them as a quote I've heard before:
Never let anyone treat you like you're regular glue, you're glitter glue.
Lore:
Basic
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Test Subject 1593
Age: unknown
Nicknames: The fish
Species: unknown
Occupation: Unwilling Test Subject
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: Any
Them as a quote I've heard before:
Never stop fighting, it may feel hopeless, but if you keep trying you will succeed one day.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Gina Clark Lewis
Age: unknown
Nicknames: GG
Species: unknown
Occupation: Assassin
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: She/Her
Them as a quote I've heard before:
You never truly know someone till you've heard them beg for mercy.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Francine James Graham
Age: 17
Nicknames: Franny, Fran, Jay, Ceene
Species: unknown
Occupation: Killer
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: She/They/He
Them as a quote I've heard before:
Sometimes, happy memories hurt the most.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Vesper Hugo Daniels
Age: 23
Nicknames: Ves, V
Species: Human
Occupation: Military
Fandom: slasher-jax|COD
Taken: Yes
Pronouns: They/Them
Them as a quote I've heard before:
Judge me when you are perfect.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Vivian Hill Daniels
Age: 23
Nicknames: Viv, Hill, Vivvie
Species: Human
Occupation: Seductress
Fandom: slasher-jax|COD
Taken: No
Pronouns: She/They
Them as a quote I've heard before:
I son't miss you, I miss the person I thought you were.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Caecilius Alastar Mori
Age: 25
Nicknames: Cae, Cil, Al, Mori
Species: Ram
Occupation: Assassin
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: They/Them
Them as a quote I've heard before:
The mind replays what the heart can't delete.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Bowie Daniel Remington
Age: 15
Nicknames: Rem, Boe
Species: Owl
Occupation: High School Student
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: Any
Them as a quote I've heard before:
It's called Karma, and it's pronounced "HAHAHA FUCK YOU!"
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Celyn Hira Pekkanen
Age: unknown
Nicknames: Cel
Species: Eye?
Occupation: Anti-Hero
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: Them/They
Them as a quote I've heard before:
I got betrayed while my heart was pure, I'll never forget that.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Christina Babirye Nolan
Age: unknown
Nicknames: Chris, Tina, Nol
Species: Human
Occupation: Hero
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: They/Them
Them as a quote I've heard before:
I'm tired of fighting. For once, I want to be fought for.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Courtney Imani Paige
Age: 22
Nicknames: Court
Species: Human
Occupation: Barista
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: She/They
Them as a quote I've heard before:
I've learned to be done with people. Not mad, not bothered, just done.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Porphyrios Hadriana Hepburn
Age: 16
Nicknames: Porphy
Species: God
Occupation: Training
Fandom: slasher-jax| Percy Jackson
Taken: No
Pronouns: Any
Them as a quote I've heard before:
One lie is enough to question all truths.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Chrissy Carolina Mollown
Age:21
Nicknames: Caro
Species: Deer
Occupation: College Student
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: She/Her
Them as a quote I've heard before:
Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Valeria Nikhila Janda
Age: 14
Nicknames: Val, Ria, Rena
Species: Demon
Occupation: Middle School Student
Fandom: slasher-jax|South Park
Taken: No
Pronouns: She/Her
Them as a quote I've heard before:
I don't trust easily. So when I tell you "I trust you", please don't make me regret it.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Caroline Zitkala Merkel
Age: 27
Nicknames: Linny, Kayla
Species: Sheep?
Occupation: Assassin
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: She/Her
Them as a quote I've heard before:
You can hide a lot behind a smile.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Isabelle Erna Nicholson
Age:28
Nicknames: Isa, Belle
Species: Human
Occupation: High School Teacher
Fandom: slasher-jax
Taken: No
Pronouns: She/Her
Them as a quote I've heard before:
Don't talk to me about loyalty, I'm still holding secrets for people who throw dirt on my name.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
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Florian Herminia Cano
Age: 19
Nicknames: Skuller
Species: Dead
Occupation: Proxy
Fandom: slasher-jax|Creepypasta
Taken: No
Pronouns: They/Them
Them as a quote I've heard before:
No one knows how much I cried that day.
Lore: Not yet, soon tho.
Tags:
@zeroisreallygood
@puppet200
@purpleeggyboi
@th3-r4t-48
@im-a-simp898
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janacariad · 4 months ago
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"Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass it on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗"
Thank you for the tag @charlotterhea, and for encouraging me to just ramble about my WIPs even though they might never see the light of day ^^ I'll try to keep it short.
Fandom: Tanz der Vampire (German language musical by Michael Kunze and Jim Steinman) This thing is supposed to be a trilogy. The general thing even has a working title, "They have feelings", taken from a line from the musical that has been cut. So the basis is that vampires have the same feelings as mortals. In part 1, Professor Abronsius and Alfred manage to capture Count Breda von Krolock at the Midnight Ball because for Krolock there's nothing more important than protecting his son Herbert from the hunters. Abronsius brings him to Königsberg and starts "researching" - there are lots of experiments and LOTS of torture and angst and all that stuff you need as a healthy basis for Hurt & Comfort. At some point, Alfred can't stand seeing the torture of a fellow human anymore and decides to rescue Krolock and bring him home. In part 2, back home in Transylvania and a few years on, a young woman called Katharina Abronsius shows up at the Krolocks' doorstep. Breda being Breda with his taste for mortals that has already almost cost him his life falls in love with her despite her relation to the man who tortured him (she's his niece). There are heaps upon heaps of trauma and more torture and angst, but also one of my very favourite OCs I've written myself. I'm so proud of Katharina, and she and Breda are just alkdsjösdjakjdsaslk ♥ He calls her Rina and she's his everything (because of course, yes, they end up together, that's the only reason Rina exists at all) In part 3, the Prof makes a reappearance, but that's all that's there for this part so far in terms of plot. And neither part 1 nor part 2 are in any way close to being finished ^^
Fandom: Les Misérables (a wild mix of Brick and musical, I suppose...) Well, after the barricade disaster, Javert is trying to round up some stray rebels and gets shot a few times. He doesn't manage to jump into the Seine before he's scraped off the street by Marie, a nurse who was on her way home and took him in. Problem is, she's a graverobber by night... But she finds out lots about his past and cruel childhood... At some point, Javert does end up in the Seine, gets pulled out by - you guessed it - Marie, and because we all want to see some suffering, he's as battered and bruised and sick as you can get. Think lots of broken bones, pneumonia, other waterborne diseases, and MISERY. And Marie... she's in love. Now she has to try and save Javert and then maybe teach him how to person and what love is and that he actually deserves kindness and all that... Trauma, angst, and all the other stuff I love is here everywhere, too. Marie is the other OC of mine that I absolutely adore. I've always written OCs, but none have ever felt as good and proper as she and Rina.
And nothing of all this massive indulging in my guilty pleasure that is H&C would ever have happened without @forestthechonkykitty ♥
So, if anyone would like to ramble about their stories or add to the original prompt, feel free and enjoy! :)
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i-am-neutral-on-pear-aib · 2 years ago
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The entire scene with Pitchfork in AIB 5 may have been brief, but the glimpse it gives us into her and her psyche is wonderfully done and I NEED to talk about it.
(essay under the cut, aib spoilers)
(just a quick disclaimer, I apologize if any of my writing is incoherent or biased. Pitchfork is a comfort character of mine and I've been doing quite poorly mental health wise. Nevertheless I do hope you enjoy this essay! Writing about characters brings me a lot of comfort and I'm glad I've got to share it through this little Pear blog :])
From what I've seen when looking across the AIB fandom, there's a large split in-between opinions on characters like Glowstick and Pitchfork. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, I find that the majority of viewers on the younger side of the audience seem to dislike "mean" characters without really getting to know them all too well. One of AIB's major assets is the idea that no-one is truly black or white, despite whatever your opinion on them may be. Characters like Alef, Pear, and Pitchfork are characters that you feel like you already have an understanding of when you first meet them, but as the episodes progress you begin to see more complex sides to them, seeing how they truly are the more that you get to know them. One wonderful example of this is in the latest episode (at least of writing this) AIB 5, where we get a quick scene of Pitchfork on her own, ranting to a plush of Glowstick.
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At this point in the story, Domino has pretty much taken the leadership role of Team 5, and Pitchfork has been on her own for...canonically days, in fact. They've already made themselves clear that they want nothing to do with Pitchfork anymore, not after she broke the claw machine in AIB 3 during a fit of overwhelming anger. It's almost ironic (and probably purposefully done) how as soon as Bone starts to rise among the ranks in his team, Pitchfork falls out of favor with hers, and is now being treated exactly how Bone was before. She has no-one, not that she's aware of, and so what does she do?
She goes to the only person she knew cared about her.
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One of the important themes in dissecting how Pitchfork talks to herself and the Glowstick plush itself vs her actions and what she does, and how they seem to actively contradict each other as she continues. I don't necessarily believe that Pitchfork actually cares about Glowstick- considering that would (in my opinion) be a huge botch of her character and arc, but the act of even getting the Glowstick plush in the first place to talk to shows that Pitchfork is...getting lonely. Although she would adamantly try to say otherwise. She has literally no-one else to talk to! And even when she does talk to this plush she tries to convince herself that she doesn't need to, doesn't want to! Even when she actively betrays with her actions what she's trying to build up as this "I don't need anyone" attitude, she's still trying to convince herself more than anyone else.
There would be absolutely no reason for her to even do this in the first place if she was telling the truth to herself, and her internal struggle with her guilty conscience quite literally manifests itself later in the physical form of all her internal conflict.
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Another thing to note here is that Pitchfork is right about one thing: it isn't her fault that Glowstick was eliminated. Although her way of letting down Glowstick was about as gentle as 28 consecutive stab wounds in the chest, she had every right to be that rude when Glowstick was continually harassing her, and she shouldn't be to blame for Team 1 failing and losing a member. No means no, and the fact that Pitchfork had to be even blunter than "I DON'T LIKE YOU" (from AIB 1) in order to get it to set in is a fault on Glowstick more than anything. Despite this, Pitchfork is beginning to feel some form of guilt for just how harshly she's treated people, even though her actions towards Glowstick were justified.
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Apologies if I once again sound like a broken record, but what this entire scene seems to be doing is hammering home that her own justifications are falling apart. Having to try and reassure herself that "none of it is her fault" despite her thoughts leading elsewhere...and back to Glowstick, who's kind of becoming a symbol of when everything fell apart. I don't believe that Pitchfork was 100% at fault during the AIB 3 fight, as one of AIB's wonderful strengths is that no-one is truly in the right and wrong. In fact I'd say that a lot of the team did unfairly gang up on her when she seemed to genuinely forget about the operating rules (Also Creamy blaming her for Chip Bag's death still makes absolutely no sense to me). Nevertheless, she tries to bury herself in denial, but it seems to be leaving her frustrated more than anything. Why can't she just say and believe that it's all their fault? Why does she keep thinking about Glowstick, the only person who seemed to ever care, when she keeps saying she doesn't need anyone?
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OH I need to stop myself from just aggressively keysmashing here I have SO many emotions about this scene OH MY GOD I AM SHAKING AS I TYPE THIS HOLY SHIT I AM SO SORRY
The fact that this entire scene is Pitchfork's own mind, personified through the physical manifestation of her own internal conflict, means that this entire thing is her mind battling against itself. My interpretation of this conflict is Pitchfork's battle of "I did nothing wrong" versus "I did/do everything wrong". Both sides of which have their own flaws attached to them, but they're both portrayed in a realistic manner. It's a common thing for many of us to be unable to realize that accepting that you did something wrong doesn't make you a horrible person. Pitchfork is starting to realize that the things she may have done may have been wrong, and that she can't blame her team (that she DOES feel regret for) for everything that happened. But at the same time, that regret begins to pour over into the other extreme which manifests into Glowstick, harshly jabbing at her almost in the same blunt way that she had acted before.
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I find it interesting that throughout the hallucination scene, Glowstick's hallucination seemed to go between first-person and third-person when referring to Glowstick himself, and usually seems to go with whatever will hurt Pitchfork the most. From "Poor Glowstick's heart" to later "That's what I loved about you", Pitchfork's mind is not being kind to her right now, and it goes from bitter truths at best to practically self loathing at worst.
Another thing about this scene specifically is that it confirms to me that Pitchfork really does care about her teammates. She wants to be a good leader for them, and the fact that it was mentioned with everything else tends to prove it for me. Even if she can't seem to trust them to pull their own weight sometimes, she wants to be a trusted leader. And the fact that she can't do that is causing her enough internal anguish for "Glowstick" to mention it. She regrets her outbursts of anger and the destruction they cause, she doesn't mean to break anything. And yet she does, and the almost powerless feeling when you feel like you break whatever you touch is something that I know from a personal experience.
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Pitchfork couldn't get herself to look at the votes back in AIB 4. She wanted to believe that Pear got the most votes, that it wasn't her fault that they lost the game. But this scene right here really shows that everything that "Glowstick" is saying is things Pitchfork already knew, but didn't want to believe. She already felt guilty, but wanted to pretend she didn't. Because if she didn't, it wouldn't hurt her as much that her team no longer wanted her, right?
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As much as Pitchfork wants to block it out, she can't anymore. Not when her thoughts that she pushed to the back of her mind had finally spilled out, represented by the symbol of her conflict itself. She...really does have nothing. I mean, she was talking to a plush of the person she hates, for crying out loud. And once again, whenever Pitchfork gets into a stressful situation, she lashes out with anger and attacks the Glowstick plushie, effectively ending the hallucination. But that doesn't mean what happened won't have an effect on her, and we can only see what happens with her character as more episodes release.
And I find it awfully interesting how they hint at someone else watching it all unfold.
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crow-mortis · 11 months ago
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༶•┈┈⛧┈ꉓꋪꂦꅏ
⛧°。ᵗʰⁱʳᵗʸ⁻ᵒⁿᵉ ⛧ ⁿᵒⁿᵇⁱⁿᵃʳʸ ⛧ ᵖᵃⁿ ⛧ ʷʳⁱᵗᵉʳ ⛧ ᵖʰᵒᵗᵒᵍʳᵃᵖʰᵉʳ 。 °⛧
ᴬᴼ³⛧ ᵏᵒᶠⁱ ⛧ ᵗʷⁱᵗᵗᵉʳ ⛧ ᵍᵒᵒᵈʳᵉᵃᵈˢ ⛧ ˢᵖᵃᶜᵉʰᵉʸ
⛧°。 ┊ my stuff.
ʙᴏʀʀᴏᴡᴇᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ - ᴘᴀᴛʜᴏʟᴏɢɪᴄ - ᴀʀᴛᴇᴍʏ ʙᴜʀᴀᴋʜ/ғ.ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ Jᴏɪɴ ᴍʏ Pᴀᴛʜᴏʟᴏɢɪᴄ Fᴀɴ Dɪsᴄᴏʀᴅ Sᴇʀᴠᴇʀ
⛧°。┊ fandoms.
ᴘᴀᴛʜᴏʟᴏɢɪᴄ, ᴘᴀᴛʜᴏʟᴏɢɪᴄ 2, ᴅᴇsᴛɪɴʏ, ᴅᴇsᴛɪɴʏ 2, ᴅᴀʀᴋᴡᴏᴏᴅ, ᴀ sᴏɴɢ ᴏғ ɪᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ғɪʀᴇ, ᴍᴀss ᴇғғᴇᴄᴛ, ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ ᴀɢᴇ, ᴀɴɪᴍᴇ, ᴍᴀɴɢᴀ, ᴛᴏʟᴋɪᴇɴ-ᴠᴇʀsᴇ, ʀᴇᴅ ʀɪsɪɴɢ
⛧°。┊about/dni
Not everyone has all of their info in their "About Me" so I figured I'd provide this list for anyone checking out my profile. DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE:
⛧ under 18
⛧ racist
⛧ lgbtqia+phobic *including transmeds, exclusionists, terfs and illegitmate sexualities/pronouns - i.e. MAP nor/mal, etc. (if they're meant to mock someone, i don't fw you)
⛧ pro-birth/pro life
⛧ xenophobic/islamophobic
⛧ sexist/misogynistic
⛧ pedophilic/MAP
⛧ ableist
⛧ anti-vax/anti-medicine
⛧ I also don't fw animal abuse, MAGA, blue lives matter, or general bigots.
I can/will add to this if I think of/run across more.
more under the cut !
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This is the hardest thing for me to do on any social media website. I'm horrible at talking about myself unless it's in relation to one of my interests. Which, I'll briefly list below:
⛧ music
⛧ video games
⛧ creepy stuff/cryptids/ARGs
⛧ gardening/homesteading
⛧ crows
⛧ oddities/"vulturecore"
⛧ writing
⛧ photography
⛧ reading
I'm sure I have more I'll end up adding here eventually, but I can't ever think of many things I like right off the top of my head.
Call me Crow. I'm 31 y/o, nonbinary, pansexual, and my pronouns are they/them. I'm married and we have two dogs, one cat, a parrot, and twenty-four chickens (I post about all of them a lot so you'll probably get to know them well if you follow my blog.) We live on a 2 acre homestead in southern Appalachia. I practice conjure and rootwork that was taught to me by family and neighbors growing up. I love to forage and make my own herbal salves and tinctures, as well as canned items like preserves and jellies. My partner and I are also professional portrait and event photographers, and I love posting our work whenever I get the chance.
My favorite band is Coheed and Cambria, with Sleep Token and Ghost following closely behind. I'm an old school emo kid, and I also listen to a lot of pop-punk, numetal, and post-hardcore. I also dive into j-rock and SOME Appalachian gothic, neotraditional country, bluegrass, and folk music. My tastes are a little all over the place and if it sounds good I'll probably like it.
I am a gamer, and my favorite game is a tie between Bloodborne, Baldur’s Gate 3 and RDR2. I have also been playing Destiny 2 since the launch of Destiny 1 in 2014, and I fall in and out of love with it every few weeks. Depends on what the content is giving me at that time. I also really like Minecraft and other comfy games like Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing. I'm a huge fan of horror games and I especially love the ones with deep and interesting lore and worldbuilding.
I'm a writer, and have been actively doing so since I was 11 years old. I haven't published anything, as it's more of a hobby for me than anything (plus imposter syndrome sucks). I have a world building project/RP that I've had going with a friend of mine for almost a decade now. I love thinking of/writing new characters and short stories. I used to write fanfiction but I'm not consistent enough to post multiple-part fics anymore, and my schedule doesn't leave much time for that sort of devotion. So, for now, it's just a hobby I get to enjoy with a few select friends.
I'm really into creepy content. Cryptids, cosmic horror, ARGs, analog horror, and the occult. I've seen a lot of what there is to offer on YouTube, so I'm always open to suggestions on stuff that I may not have heard of. I also like to collect bones, antlers, and other oddities.
I'm a big reader, and I'm currently doing a 52 week book challenge for 2024. I usually read 2-3 books at a time for when my ADD says I need something different.
I am also autistic and was diagnosed as an adult (age 27). I also have relapsing/remitting MS; it affects my short term memory, vision, and balance, primarily. I also sometimes have some other cognitive issues (forgetting/flubbing words, names, etc.) I am on treatment for a few of the symptoms, but it does impact my daily life.
I think that's about it. Sorry for the wall of text, but I really don't know how else to format this.
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cuubism · 2 years ago
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Obviously it just means you should write a Shadowhunters x Sandman crossover fic ;)
perhaps 😆 perhaps
while i've read a few that i enjoyed i'm not sure i could ever actually write one simply because... sandman is a much more mature story, imo. don't get me wrong, people in sh fandom have written fics with a more mature tone and approach than what's in canon (i'd even venture to say most fics are more mature than canon (tho that's biased as it's based on what i've chosen to read), something about the show seems to have attracted writers who want to dissect it down to its bones and reassemble something more adult from the pieces, or delve into the more serious ideas the show touches on but doesn't fully explore). and the show is aged up and somewhat darker than the books, i think. but the story itself is inherently YA and has that in its bones, and sandman does not.
which is not a ding against shadowhunters at all, YA is great and stories aimed at young adults are great. YA gets a lot of flack but only because it's become somewhat repetitive as big publishers try to capitalize on a few big and original hits by replicating with similar stories. there's nothing inherently wrong with stories meant as a sort of middle ground between children's stories and adult stories, and nothing wrong with people of all ages enjoying YA. (of course, even children's stories can be quite serious and dark, especially classic fairy tales and such, categories are nebulous, and so on, but hopefully you get what i mean). it's just coming from a different place, and intent? i think? than sandman and that makes them hard for me to merge.
sandman is... well, i still need to get around to reading the comics, and from what i have heard the show's approach thus far is somewhat gentler. but it's still... a darker story, a more serious story, and a story that is very much not coming from a YA perspective. as i said, more mature, more complex. there's a tonal clash when i think about mixing them, for all that there IS a lot of overlap in character tropes, genre, and the elements of the story world between sandman and shadowhunters -- which is probably why a lot of sh people were drawn in. but yeah i could feel myself slipping out of sh fandom even before getting pulled into sandman for exactly this reason -- as my tastes have matured shadowhunters was just not fulfilling my interests anymore, so the moment my brain encountered something that was it latched on 😆 new enrichment in the enclosure, the creature got tired of playing with treat balls and needed a puzzle game instead.
that's more of an answer than you were probably wanting
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lavenderlevetan · 2 years ago
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hi <3 i'm going to bother you. part one.
1, 3, 7, 12, 18, 29 :)
thank you for bothering me <33
1. do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?
oh i am absolutely always stumbling through the wilderness, i have literally never once started a multi-chapter fic knowing how i want it to end
3. on a scale of 1-10 how much do you enjoy incorporating romance into the average story?
a solid 6.5 i think, depends on how romancy the romance is
7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote
LMFAO, i’ll start by saying it doesn’t exist anymore i deleted it years ago, so sadly i cannot send anyone the link. BUT it was a wattpad naruto fanfic i wrote out of pure spite after deciding i could write one better than some of the others i had read without having even watched the show. it was an oc x kiba fic, with a slight love triangle between oc kiba and naruto. it won a watty fandom award back when that was a thing
12. do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that? 
i do!! i just completely stop writing and try doing something else to keep creating but let my brain take a break bc it apparently needs it, that’s how a lot of my other like collages or fanart or shitty amvs get made. like rn for example!!! i’m having trouble focusing on either of my ongoing fics, so i’ve been drawing Ronance as mermaids! here’s a little WIP of that
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18. what is your most and least favorite part of writing?
most: writing!!
least: writing.
29. give us a spoiler for one of your stories.
here’s a little unedited blurb from the next bloodletting chapter!:
“You aren’t safe.”
It wasn’t a statement said out of concern for Nancy’s wellbeing. It was an announcement declaring Nancy as the threat—that she was the danger. Jane had figured out just exactly what it was Nancy needed help with. Maybe she had already known.
“You aren’t safe,” Jane repeated, her hand slowly sliding off, “You need to leave.”
No, no! Don’t send me away yet. Please.
Nancy caught Jane’s wrist in a surge of desperation, “Wait, please. I need your help, I can’t live like this. I need you to get him out of my head. I need him gone.”
“I can’t help you. I’m sorry.”
Nancy had to force herself to swallow a miserable wail as she let go of Jane, “But… you were the one who sent him away in the first place.”
Jane shook her head solemnly, then nodded towards the wretched scar on Nancy’s neck, “This is different. I stopped him from getting Max. He already has you.”
“He doesn’t–that’s not fair,” Nancy’s hands curled into fists so tight her knuckle bones looked like they were mere seconds from ripping through her paper skin, “This isn’t fair.”
“It’s not,” Jane agreed solemnly, “I am sorry.”
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ciaossu-imagines · 2 years ago
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I'm sorry to hear that you've been getting negative stuff in your inbox! Folks need to remember that the number rule of fandom is to simply click away if they don't enjoy something. I think the magic of fandom is the creation of new content beyond canon and that everyone has their own interpretations of characters. I love how much thought and effort you put into your interpretations and that you're not afraid to break away from popular opinion! It's also wonderful and refreshing how much you celebrate sexuality (although I get it's not for everyone)! You add treasures to each fandom you contribute to and I hope you continue to do so for as long as it brings you joy
Okay, but can I just say how absolutely beautifully written this is? This is so amazingly said and I agree so much with a lot of your points! I won’t be quite as eloquent in my replies, but bear with me!
 I agree so strongly about the magic of fandom. The truth is, everyone views the media with their own biases in place, so we all arrive at different interpretations of characters, of relationships, of interactions. And that’s a truly beautiful, wonderful thing because it really does mean that everyone…everyone will find their own people in fandom. Everyone will find things and other fans and writers and artists that they connect to in fandoms. And I do realize that this is harder for people to do in a lot of the fandoms I write for because…they are small. They’re older, mostly inactive and kept afloat only because of small groups of die-hard fans. So, there’s not always a million places to find your people anymore. But they are out there. If my writing isn’t doing it for you, or you’re uncomfortable with my views on characters or with things I post on this blog, it’s as simple as not interacting with it. With not reading or unfollowing or looking away. If you can’t find other active blogs for the fandom you’re following me for…start your own. Even if you’re just reblogging art or old posts or just throwing up your own ramblings on the characters or sharing your OC’s – all of my fandoms have that wonderful, amazing group of die-hard fans and you will find your people that way.
That being said, thank you so incredibly much. Those compliments were…really impactful. I have never really thought of all of my little ramblings on here as treasures and to have them referred to as such gave me that automatic ‘you’re giving me way too much credit, my stuff isn’t all that great’ reaction because self-esteem? That bitch ain’t no friend of mine. But that really touched me, gorgeous, and it meant a lot to me.
I have no plans on disappearing again, no matter how sad or unmotivated I might get or how many rude anons I get. To be honest, every fandom I write for, I write for because of how much the characters and the stories have meant to me, have become fixtures in my life and how, pitiful as this may sound, these characters have really felt like…friends, true, constant, unjudging friends. To quote Tahereh Mafi, “In the absence of human relationships, I formed bonds with paper characters. I lived love and loss through stories threaded in history; I experienced adolescence by association. My world is one interwoven web of words, stringing limb to limb, bone to sinew, thought and images all together. I am a being compromised of letters, a character created by sentences, a figment of imagination formed through fiction.” To stop creating for these characters, to let these fandoms just…die? It would leave me grieving the death of friends, to say nothing of how much fandoms and all you lovely readers have shaped me and influenced me and made my life richer and still continue to do so. All of you, this blog, these characters, they have all become my safe place and until tumblr kicks me off, I’ll always be here for the characters and for each and every one of you constant readers.
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autisticmight · 1 year ago
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3, 18, 19, 40, 65
not going to be on tumblr much anymore unless they fix this update, but. i will always answer questions >:3
3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic
you have an idea. you find the bones. you wrap the bones in all the meat stuff, going from start to finish. sometimes, a bone will no longer fit in the meat. that is okay. discard the bone. you may want to use it later. snack on some of the meat. maybe leave some to go rancid. consider adding more punctuation. run out of meat and bone
congratulations!!! you have Story
18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?
sometimes they come with pre-installed titles, but rarely. often, i'm going through lyrics and poetry, trying to fill in that box on the ao3 page. usually, i'm doing that, actually. i am rarely not doing that when it comes to titling
19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?
... 'angst'. closely followed by 'suicide' and 'depression'. look, sometimes i'm going through shit. and if i exaggerate it and make a melodrama, everything seems okayer.
40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?
if someone were to make fanart of my work, i would ask them if they didn't want to rethink that. maybe choose a better subject?
otherwise, dipper and mabel finding ford in 'measurably away', or ash and brock at the end of 'the next morning'
of course, though, if anyone did anything related to 'hear the world's keening', it might destroy me. it's not a great fic, but i'm proud of it. i needed it a lot when i was writing it, and having so much feedback from such a big fandom made me feel like i was part of something
65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project
i am unbelievably hopeful about the pokemon fic. i've wanted to write an ash-centric longfic since i first read 'the ash connection', and every other one i've read has made me feel even more strongly about it. i want to write something similar, but have it be new
i'm also enjoying au roulette so fucking much. love putting these guys in situations *is eating a minifig*
wait, do you want specifics? are you trying to curse me into never writing again???
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thatonebirdwrites · 1 year ago
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THIS. ALL OF THIS.
I have started calling the fandom communities a fellowship of joy. Don't shit all over the fellowship of joy, especially when creators have not in any way asked for advice/criticism. If you don't like something, it's okay to walk away and not say anything. This is also pertinent for writers. Unsolicited "advice" or "criticism" to fanfic writers shouldn't be done either. It's frustrating, discouraging, and frankly useless. Yes, comments are great IF they fit the following:
Sharing what you enjoyed about the scene.
Speculating on what might come next. (This is always fun to read).
If you share what you didn't like, do not provide unsolicited criticism, just state you didn't like it and move on to sharing what you did like.
Sharing what emotions you had about the prose and story itself.
Asking questions of the author but without the expectation of a reply. (You are not entitled to a reply, but if you want to ask questions, sure. Us creators can decide if we have time/energy to reply or not.)
Discussing aspects of the story and/or character arcs and what they mean to you.
This isn't a definitive list, but it just to give folks an idea.
I adore getting comments, but what I don't like is people telling me: 1. "You wrote a Mary Sue!" Mary Sue is a sexist connotation that derives from the idea that it's "impossible" for a woman to be capable of doing many different things well. People hurl this insult when they fail to understand the nuances of a woman character, especially if her faults and/or weaknesses are subtle and/or more nuanced.
If a man character is given the same attributes and written exactly the same, this insult is never hurled at the man character. So a man character can get away with anything, but a woman character cannot. This criticism isn't constructive and is actually a sexist diatribe that really needs to just shut up and go away.
2. "I don't like how you wrote this scene. I think you should do this instead or I won't read it anymore!" Okay. I am not going to change how I wrote the scene or plot point based on you not liking it. If you don't like it, you can stop reading. No need to announce your departure!
3. "This is too much! This character being gay/bisexual/trans/disabled/etc... is unnecessary for the narrative!"
That is one of the most bigoted things I've ever heard. Bye.
4. "I demand you include these themes!"
If you would like to request a fic, please go to my tumblr ask (only if the asks are open). Don't request it on one of my already written fics. I'm not going to rewrite it just because you are demanding it. There's a place for asks. Already written fics are not that place.
5. "This character never uses pet names or nicknames!" Or "This character would never do that! How dare you!"
Okay? I guess, thanks for the comment.
6. "There's no narrative need for this character to be disabled/lose-a-limb/have-PTSD/whatever-disability-that-actually-does-fit-narrative-if-reader-had-bothered-to-read-it-fully. They should do physio and be done with it!"
Yes. Someone came to one of my fics, where one of my characters had fourth-degree burns (as in the burn went all the way to the bone and destroyed nerve endings making the foot numb and susceptible to rot and gangrene), and suggested that I do not write the amputation but instead have the character do physio.
I really need abled-bodied people to understand that physical therapy DOES NOT CURE ALL DISEASES AND INJURIES. OMG. WTF.
The ableism of this is just astounding.
Physical therapy is a tool to assist the patient with rebuilding strength, endurance, and stamina. It cannot heal anything. That's not how it works, so please stop suggesting that characters with injuries, various diseases, and other disabilities undergo physio to magically be cured of their disability. This is not how that works, and it's a really ableist take.
I could go on and on and on.
Point is, constructive criticism is only helpful when the creator asks for it.
When we ask for it, that's because we have prepared for the criticism and wish to have help in improving something.
If we do ask for it? Here are some tips:
Be specific. Vagueness doesn't help anyone. No one can determine what exactly is meant by: "I think this scene is badly written." That's not constructive, and tells the author nothing. Don't waste your or their time. Instead be specific: "I notice that this scene uses a lot of adverbs that distract from the flow. Here are some examples of where I saw these repetitive words. I also noticed the dialogue of characters get mushed together, where it's hard to tell who is talking. Maybe give each character's dialogue a separate paragraph to aid in readability." <- That is constructive.
Be encouraging. Do not tell the author they are terrible, bad, or can't write/draw/create. Instead be supportive. "I think this is a great start, and here is what I really liked about the piece." By starting with that you build rapport, then you can enter into the specifics of your feedback.
Never, ever, ever say that a character's identity is "too much" or "unnecessary for the narration." This is a pretty way to dress up bigotry. A character's identity is crucial to their characterization and who they are. It also provides representation for that group, and we always need more diverse representation.
Never critique the work based on what it didn't do. Only critique what it DID do. As in, explore what the piece actually includes and what is actually written/drawn/etc. If the author/creator didn't do something or didn't include something, don't mention it as it's not helpful and isn't really constructive. Focus only on what's actually there.
If the piece is blatantly bigoted but they asked for feedback, consider whether you feel safe to share that feedback. Sometimes people don't realize that they've used a bigoted trope, and if one approaches this carefully and kindly, it can turn into a good learning opportunity. But if the author doubles down on the bigotry, then make a decision on if its safe to even continue providing feedback. Sometimes people don't want to unlearn their unconscious (or conscious) biases. We can't fix that -- it's up to them. One way to approach it: "Hi, I noticed that this and that is a harmful trope for [be specific about what the trope is and its impact]. A way to repair that could be [be specific on ways to avoid using the trope and what can be done instead]." This isn't easy to do, and if you feel like you don't have the energy to engage in a conversation over this, then don't do it. Be safe, okay?
When we do NOT ask for it (majority of the time honestly), that's when we are writing what we'd like to read, and we're fine with it as is.
Fanfiction isn't being written as the next big bestseller. It's written to fulfill a need that the writer has. Often, we ere excited and wish to share that joy with the community, in case others will also enjoy what we wrote (or created). It's a fellowship of joy.
Don't go in and muck up the fellowship of joy, okay?
Thanks for reading, and remember to be kind!
Hey, if you don't have something nice to say about other people's creations (gifsets, art, fic etc)
then
don't say anything at all.
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tadpolesonalgae · 9 months ago
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[ask is at the end, sorry not so sorry for such a huge block of text TT]
Hey Tabby! first off let me let you know that I fucking love and adore you and your stories sooo effing mucchjhh, likee aaah I'm frothing at the mouth just thinking about them. i love the way you write and breath life into your stories and characters(ironically, I haven't read cbmthy yet, which seems to be your most loved and talked about work but I can't wait to read it sooon)
well anyway, I wanted to ask you about the first time you read the first book (ACOTAR) and what you'd thought of it and what your first thoughts of Rhys were? did you know that feyre would end up with him before you started the book? or did you go into it blind? and if you didn't know they'd end up together, were you rooting for them by the end of it? did you feel like you were the only one that saw something bwn them? and you weren't sure if sjm was actually hinting at something or if you were simply being delusional? because this was exactly what went through my head when I first read the book and I'd love to know your thought process through the books tooo. honestly, even when she escaped to the night court in the second book, before she explicitly stated that she did not love tam anymore or something along those lines, I was still unsure/scared that Feysand wasn't going to happen 😭 and that this would just be written as a tiny hiccup in Feylins story and Rhys would just be like, some kindof rebound guy(haha lol yea) that would make her realise her love for Tam or whatever bs I see soooo often in movies these days(especially those hallmark ones, no shade to anyone who enjoys them tho,ily) and now I just want to laugh at my past self lol. I'd love to know your thoughts, thankyouu💗💗💗
—🫀(ps, that's my heart that swells up a little extra each time you post 🥹🤌🏻✨)
Hello hello!!🧡💛 Thank you so much 🫂🫂🫂☹️
‘(ironically, I haven't read cbmthy yet, which seems to be your most loved and talked about work but I can't wait to read it sooon)’
Gosh, I hope you aren’t disappointed by it—just as a heads up it might be a little slow in parts but I hope you enjoy it :) Hopefully it’ll be easier since if you do decide to read it, you’ll be able to skip onto the next chapter quickly and it won’t drag too much 🫤🧡💛
Oooh okay, so I originally didn’t have an interest in reading—acotar was the second book series I ever reader, after shadow and bone, which was the first book I’d read that wasn’t compulsory reading in some way—but one day my friend and I were in the library joking around, and she mentioned chapter 55 (because again, I didn’t know anything about books, or the jokes within the fandom) and she was telling me how it was a whole thing, and if you say chapter 55, everyone knows what scene it is, and I ended up just taking the book (acomaf) off the shelf and reading chapter 55 on its own 🫢
It wasn’t until about a year later that I actually read acotar, but I’m pretty sure I remembered feysand’s mating bond? But again, I had no idea what that meant so I don’t think it impacted my read that much?
I will say, I have a breathing problem that kicks up every once in a while, and I remember liking Rhys so much in the first book and being so flustered my heart was beating so quickly I was struggling to breathe for a good few minutes and had to step outside 😭😭 we still sometimes joke that he nearly killed me 😳🤦
(I loved him being cold, and cruel, and kind of flirtatious 🫢😳)
As for whether I knew Feyre and Rhys would get together, or whether I was routing for them, I actually can’t pin point when I got so immersed in acotar? I definitely liked Rhys’ character from the beginning, and I think Feyre grew on me more throughout the story :)
I never hated Tamlin though—I think that might have been aided by kind of knowing Rhys and Feyre would get together, and acotar didn’t seem like a series that would have a sad ending? It felt too fantasy to do anything super serious if that makes sense, so I was content to just go along with the ride and see where the story went :)
Also, again it might have been because I kind of knew Rhys and Feyre would end up together, but if Rhys really was the big bad villain he was made out to be in the first book, I think it would have been poor writing to show him to us so early on in the book? I think villain’s are much scarier when they’re kept in mystery, like how dragons or monsters will sometimes be silhouetted in thundercloud to show their outline, or how sometimes in games you’ll see a massive tail slither away under water without showing you the full creature because the Thing your imagination creates will always be so much worse :)
‘I was still unsure/scared that Feysand wasn't going to happen 😭 and that this would just be written as a tiny hiccup in Feylins story and Rhys would just be like, some kindof rebound guy(haha lol yea) that would make her realise her love for Tam’
I mean to be fair, I don’t really watch films or tv shows at all anymore, and until acotar I hadn’t read many books so I think I might have been oblivious to those tropes/cliches which is why I wasn’t worried that Feyre would go back to him? It probably could have been done, that they reconciled and Tamlin had a redemption, but I think that would have changed the whole tone of the book series so I am really glad that didn’t happen and we got to meet the IC :)
Thank you so much for writing in!! I think it can be so fun to read a book, or something to that degree, then rereading it and spotting all these new details that hint at what will happen in the future? Also seeing what people thought on their first read through, then perhaps how they changed gradually is always so interesting to hear? Also getting to watch as someone reads through a book for the first time and hearing what they think as they go through it—especially if it’s a book you like—can be such a bonding experience 🧡💛
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esta-elavaris · 1 year ago
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Also to add on, I find it hilarious I’ve devoured Catch The Wind twice now but it took me so long to finish LBL. (Ignoring the fact that I have like 100 tabs open the majority of which is a03. Things do tend to get lost)
Answering both of your asks in one here -- I hope you don't mind!
To be completely honest, when HTWA is done, I'm done writing in that fandom. Too much has happened for me to feel? Comfortable? Writing in it anymore? Like it's too hurtful to people I care about, and I've always sort of reasoned it privately as that JK hates fanfic so it's not like she'd be pleased by it either, but even that reasoning just doesn't sit right with me anymore. I feel like there are so many other things that I can and want to write, too, things that offer new challenges, that it's just never going to be worth folk I love being hurt by it. That's also why I don't really promote those fics the same way I do the others.
I considered abandoning HTWA because of it a while ago, but in the end I decided to stick it out 'til the end of that story as a thank you to the very supportive folk who'd been there since the beginning of LBL all those years ago, and who had stuck with the pairing through the homeless debacle, and because I'd already written so much of it, but then call it a day on that fandom once it was done. Writing an ending for that story and then not starting any new ones in that fandom feels like the best compromise I could do on that score.
I know I have the first few chapters of a Sirius fic up, but even if I didn't have those reservations I don't know if I'd go back to it. From a bare bones writing standpoint, no fic I ever write with him ends up being any good, so it's not a great loss in that regard, honestly. She's Electric was my second attempt - the first was dire, and this one was better but still not particularly great.
LBL will always have emotional value to me because I think I improved so much through the process of writing it, it was the first long-scale fic I wrote when I set myself the goal of writing every single day years ago, so it was the first fic that really dusted off the cobwebs of a writing habit that was then very dusty. I think that's why I like CTW more - the cobwebs were gone by then, and I think my ability started to really shine in that story, whereas the brushstrokes were a lot more clear (to me, at least) with LBL.
The feedback I got on that one really helped the novel work a lot though - I was soooo heavy on the introspection, especially in early chapters, and people very kindly pointed out that it was a bit much, and I noticed it was a bad habit that really bloated the novel work, too, so that was a nice learning moment.
Thank you for checking them out, and for the lovely response to them! I'm glad you enjoyed them and I highly appreciate it! 💜
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