#I'm not doing it for the people I'm doing it for myself cuz I find it fun
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Hi!!
First off, totally respect all the reasoning/character break-down, and in fact love it! The reasons you have above are actually in part why I ship Sonadow, and actually paint a beautiful picture of both how Sonic and Shadow work with others interpersonally and why the ship in a more cannon context is so neat!
To be honest, I wana do more character deconstruction real bad. Mostly to do with how people in positions of power/stress and people with prior trauma tends towards social distance, and that Shadow and Sonic are prime examples of different ways people handle that irl. I'm gunna try to focus a bit less on why tho and more on how it would go, imo.
There is a directly related take from your analysis that I enjoy, which is that if Sonic and Shadow were to be in a relationship it likely would not be very romantic and likely even fairly distant, which is okay! That kind of relationship is relatively out of popularized norms, and not as easy to depict, with a lack of character interactions. In some personal anecdote, I myself prefer relationships like this, and the beauty of them lies in the firm confidence that when push comes to shove that person will be there for you, and that distance doesn't matter because it can't shake that confidence. Additionally, I tend towards sporadic "adventures" where I kidnap people to go do wild stuff for high-quality time together.
They would likely have rather uncommon mutual love languages, like preferring/respecting quite a bit of personal space/time, rather than crave what some might consider fairly typical love languages. However, like above they may focus more on a strong bond, occasional quality time (full of chaos), sparring, and intentionally riling each other up. (Two of my love languages as well lmao)
I find them fun/relatable imo, but not for everyone more married to cannon. Also goes without saying that yes, they'd likely have to work on boundaries a bit with the riling, something I myself have had to do lmao. Additionally, yes, this likely has quite a bit of projection within my interpretation of them. Those two act eerily similar to how I do with close friends/partners so what can I say lmao. They're just a bit more spikey ;)
That aaaaalllll being said, depict and do the things you love! Not feeling it cuz cannon perspective doesn't seem realistic for you? Sweet! Not feeling it cuz you're not into fanon takes? Sweet! Definitely no explanation needed, but I think it's sweet that you let peeps know you're not interested in sonadow anymore. Most of the time people just casually walk away from stuff, which is just as fine, haha.
guys what would you think if I told you how I don't ship sonadow anymore
#sonadow#jail rambles#jail is talking instead of sleeping because they saw a really nice character analysis and got too excited...
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I was personally assaulted (honorific) by this essay on ambition. It's very good.
#megs is reading#I would've linked it as a full link but it didn't parse right. which probably means it has some settings against AI which. good for them!#hilariously I was complaining immediately before reading it that SO MUCH of the discussion around burnout and overwork are like#'well you should train yourself to enjoy things and live in the moment and say fuck work and not worry about it making you more productive!#and like. as a writer. as a person whose brain will eat itself alive if I do not write. NOT because augh productivity#but cuz [that one post about how if you don't draw the images will clog up inside you and make you sick]#this does not ever spark joy. I want to do the work I enjoy and find fulfilling! I want that work to be valued enough to let me do it!#where is my discussion around burnout for people who like. can in fact sit down and enjoy a nice cup of tea or cooking a pot of soup#that's not the goddamn problem here. the problem is that not all labor is valued and in fact very little labor if any is valued.#the products are labor are valued. the labor itself is an inconvenient stepping stone that it would be nice to not have to take.#ANYWAY I'm just going to go try to finish my fucking book draft now. and convince myself that it matters.
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They weren't lying, this psychological recovery journey got hands
#3rd month of taking antidepressants and knowing that There Is something majorly fucked up within me#i feel like im becoming normal bit by bit but also now my other problems become my aparent to me#i started to notice i have this childlike simplistic attitude towards wonder and relationships but also at the same time i understand the#severity of troubles around me on the level of burned out adult#but also it takes me from a week to several years to realize what people meant#and yet sometimes i get everything clearly#there are still ways to go#i still have to find a therapist#cuz psych diagnosed me with BPD; geberal anxiety disorder and ADHD and said i have autism signs that could explain the development of BPD#but all he can do is medical treatment which is not the kind you need for BPD and autism#im not saying you can treat autism but yeah he meant i need a psychotherapist for these instead of psychiatrist#i hope i can complete this mental health journey bcuz i feel like i finally got hit with all the weight of burnout i had all these years#i did some creative work in the august/early september but rn its all touching grass in real world and playing games#like i cook i help my family with chores i play fortnite i clean up my room i go out at 1am to look at the stars#all of my own volition without feeling like i need to push myself to do this#I'm scared that making art is not one of those things#i often have a thought that maybe art isnt really for me and in a perfect world i wouldnt do it#but then why am i so good at it#like...#petrotalk
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#I do genuinely feel jealous at those who managed to move away from their dickhead family and forever not associated with them.#Like. It's stupid. I should feel happy for them#But i'm also a dickhead myself so...damn. wish that could have been me#Everyone in this family is just...worse and worse...including me#Like. How many times i vent and finding reasons to talk shit about them#I'm still the loser that stuck here#Instead of...idk...actually working up the skills and courage to move out#Now i'm just being a moron sitting here and listen to their “i'll kill myself” jokes#It's not jokes. Cuz' 65% they will do it. Or just die to natural causes. Pffr#But they keep confessing it to me out of the blue that i feel like it's a running gag#Like. Man. I'm trying#Or am i????#Just...looking for motivations from every small joys from messages or stupid things i did or said to coworkers#But in the end. I'm still here#Will i ever get out????#Maybe?????#Man. Either i died in this shit hole. Hopefully before them.#Or died outside due to proverty but maybe i would feel a bit of happiness of not being with them anymore#Blergh. Whatever happens happens i guess#Or however people say it#Back to liking tumblr post or playing video games because i literally has no other hobbies
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Hm.
#vent#tw vent#vent in the tags#screaming in the void#okay so.#I know I don't post regularly#and maybe it's because I switch fandoms a lot but#I just wish my art would be reblogged more#and I know that it's silly and I'm probably being annoying by saying this#but it just feels really discouraging for me to post something and get a maximum of 7 notes - if I'm lucky - most if not all of which#are likes. and don't get me wrong!! I really appreciate the likes! it's good and I'm glad you like my art!!#but this site lives off of reblogs - sharing things that you like onto your own blog so that others who could potentially also like this#can find it and share it perhaps onto their blogs#if there are only likes then nobody else gets to see it and it eventually fades into the background and get lost.#I tried reblogging my own art from a while ago cuz I thought maybe that would help but. it didn't change anything. it's still all likes#if any engagement happens at all. it's frustrating because it makes me feel like what I post isn't worth being shared.#like it's not good enough. which I know! realistically is not the case but! that doesn't stop me from feeling like it#I don't know what I'm trying to say with this. I'm not trying to force anyone or guilt trip them into reblogging#of course not. no one is obligated to do anything I just. wish more people reblogged my art because yea. I *draw* for myself#but I do *post* it with the intention of it being seen and appreciated by others#that it might bring them as much joy seeing it as it did me creating it#I'm just tired#if you've read this far thank you. I really appreciate you. I love you and I hope you have a really good day <3
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my biggest secret is that way deep down i have the slightest desire to like birdflash. wally is so midwest, upper-middle class conservative that wally having to unpack all that and deal with the anger that comes from dick just being too damn attractive would be really interesting (and funny)
the problem is i don't like wally :(
#and see i want to read a fic like this but can't find what i'm looking for#not that i look through the tags often cuz generally i'm not interested#if anyone knows of a good fic with this let me know#and i would write it myself but like. would it actually be appealing to anyone?#a birdflash fic by someone who doesn't like birdflash or wally?#i don't want to be the person who like. tries to write something and just bashes people's favs#i would try to handle it respectfully#though there would be a lot of internalized prejudices wally has to overcome#it would a be a rough journey#which is another thing. do i really have time to try and write that fic?#with how many others i'm currently working on?#absolutely not#will i do it anyway?......................maybe#also i say all this as someone who is writing a dicktim fic even though i don't ship it
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tbh I'm scared to go to college, the things I want to study take a v long time and intensive work that you Have to be v good at to get into the field lest u mess something up. I'm scared I'm gonna get frustrated or discouraged once and decide to give up cuz I have such a bad habit of that that I'm trying so hard to overcome.
I'm like fighting my brain on the daily to understand that taking a long time and having to put in a lot of effort to learn something isn't a bad thing even if it's hard to do especially since it's something I've wanted to study all my life. It's just tough when I have this constant nagging feeling in my brain about "you're too stupid and you always have been especially when it comes to school" but I'm so sick of thinking like that!!
My brain has kept me in this prison of feeling stupid so I don't do new things which also makes me feel stupid it sucks. I wanna try new things and commit to learning even when it gets tough! I really don't really to give up !! But I'm so scared I will !
#I'm so scared of college bruh it doesn't help that I finally graduated a few days ago even though I'm like 21#i feel so stupid for graduating late and having bad grades throughout my whole schooling life it's v discouraging#I'm just hoping i do ok and find people with the same interests that keep me excited and motivated to do well#and i hope i don't kick myself down or feel too bad when I do mess up or have a hard time cuz it will happen eventually#osteology#sorry for the big paragraphs everyone also#I'm lucky i have a lot of emotional support in my life when it comes to going to college I'm just so scared I'm gonna get let everyone down#even though I'm dying to go to college I'm just so scaaaared esp cuz so many of my friends are close to finishing college i feel so behind
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God I feel like I'm growing old (turning 20) but not as in I'm getting ugly and losing my worth, not as in i actually think 20 is old, not as in i think my 'biological clock' is running out. I'm growing old as in everything is changing so fast and I'm the same age my heroes were when they felt so big to me, but I don't feel big. Somehow i still feel like a kid, and yet the kid i was also feels so strange to me, and now I don't know if I'm an adult or a child because i feel like neither. Do you understand someone please tell me you understand.
#seeing a lot of (correct!) posts expressing anger at how#people basically say once u hit your mid twenties your time is almost up#about how middle aged is still SO YOUNG and we need to stop looking at aging as a monster#and i wholeheartedly agree!!#yet at the same time I'm terrified of aging#not cuz i think I'll lose my wortg#but cuz I'm scared I won't find myself#does this make sense#this js a completely new world I'm entering and i have NO CLUE what I'm supposed to be doing#and yet i feel like i SHOULD have it together cuz I'm almlst twenty now
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POV me trying to act like a normal human in order to give my OCs traits that normal people have (it isn't working and I'm overdoing it)
#IF YOU LACK THE FEELINGS OR DESIRES THAT PEOPLE TYPICALLY HAVE THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW THE RIGHT AMOUNT TO HAVE#unregulated that boy is unregulated people are complex so like yeah someone wants like#attention of smth or to be seen as like a star y'know fame and all that like how do people with those brains work#is it like a genuine and enthusiastic IMMA BE A STAR !! MY NAME IN LIGHTS PEOPLE CHEERING MY NAME !! always and forever?#or is that the dramatics of media I don't know cuz I never met anyone irl like that#not as far as I'm aware#I mean a big thing abt me is everything has deniability so if I were to make media of some short like idk a gaming channel#I mean sure I'd want people to see it and to have a community so I would hype myself up y'know grandiose of sorts#but do I genuinely believe that? yes and no. like sure it CAN happen but if it WILL is debatable and probably unlikely#so yeah I like the idea of it ig in theory but I'm always expecting to fail not in a negative way tho lmao#more of being realistic and reasonable and if no one ever got into any of the stuff I made I wouldn't mind cuz like#I'm not doing it for the people I'm doing it for myself cuz I find it fun#idc abt the attention#usually when I get attention I reject it honestly lmao I'm not a big fan of it#anyway that's where I'm at so like do people genuinely enjoy attention? is that a thing?#what exactly are people feeling when they get attention like good? happy? seen? idk
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genuinely so happy at this point that I'm at such a normal place with my queer identity
am i trans maybe idk most people say i am so ig sure
am i aro/ace maybe but like i can also do whatever i want i don't care
I'll call myself anything i want at any given moment because i think words are more of a fun little tone indicator rather than actually serious things i have to give a shit about
#like honestly at this point I'm only not cis cuz i can't be fucked#other than that idk i got better shit to do if other people wanna find community in a thing i could be called good for them#but like idk I haven't found myself all to drawn to labels in general that at this point my identities are mostly just head-canons#adam fucking around
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god fucking damn my life, bro. I find a couple of ants in my room and immediately freak out. I start feeling shit crawling on me and turn on a flashlight to go look for some hidden source, already hyperventilating. And then I remember I woke up late and didn't take my morning meds. Girl, we have a balcony and my mom keeps plants there. Calm the fuck down. You like having the window open. It's FINE. It's just ants.
Last weekend I skipped my morning meds two days in a row cuz I woke up late and I feared sertraline insomnia - which, yes, in hindsight was a bad idea - and on Sunday I had a full meltdown. Granted, also period-related, but god fucking damn it. I tore my whole room apart. I couldn't vacuum under my bed easily because of my desk's placement so I decided I was going to move furniture around and reorganize my room. On a Sunday afternoon, in the summer and with tendonitis. All cuz I saw some ants and couldn't verify with my own two eyes every corner of the room. And because I couldn't physically move the wardrobe and bookcase, I guess I took out my anxiety with the remaining furniture. And god fucking damn it, here I am again a week later.
I keep finding ants (3) running on my desk all of a sudden while I'm SITTING THERE and have no idea ("no idea") where they're coming from (engage the phone flashlight routine). I moved this bitch AWAY from the window and they're fucking HUNTING me or smth (it's 35ºC out, girl). I hate my life. And I hate that any suggestion of bugs makes me start feeling shit on my skin that isn't there. Dumb fucking brain. Anyway I need sleep and to take my sertraline asap or else.
#i can't express to you how badly I was doing last week#my mom wasn't home when I was remodeling but I was fantasizing about screaming:#''take those plants out of my side of the veranda or i'll throw them OR myself off the balcony''#i'm not suicidal don't worry it would be for the drama of the ultimatum#and then I took my meds the next day and I was calmer lol#but this has happened before. i believe this entire formication / almost delusional parasitosis started cuz i'm allergic to mosquitoes#and as a kid who lived with 3 grown people and had no power over them to close their damn windows - I attracted all the bugs#and I couldn't sleep and I heard and felt them near me and it was a horrible time#still at 23 i can only either pass out from exhaustion or more often find and kill them before I can sleep#when I was 14 or smth our cat also got fleas and I spent the most paranoids nights of my life suffering cuz they got into my bed#last year I slept over at a friend's house for a night and brought back what must've been a SINGLE flea#I'm not kidding you when I say I quarantined my room and slept in the living room for over a month. i was panicking#(i've since started anxiety meds)#I legit feared we had bedbugs and was looking at every single outlet and corner of my bed#our cat recently caught fleas and I combed through him to pick them out every day. that experience actually calmed me down about them#but it's when you can't see them / where they're hiding that's the problem#(it also taught me to let my cat in my room and then fleas become his problem LMAO)#(cuz his long fur 24/7 is way better than my legs for 8h I've been told lol)#anyway point is I get freaky when I suspect bugs are hiding somewhere#and that they're gonna bite me and I'm going to get super itchy and not be able to sleep#i start feeling shit on my skin and yes i know that's not normal. and I have to look at it to convince my brain to ignore it#i get jumpscared by my HAIR falling on my arms girl. that's embarrassing#what i'm ANGRY about is that this is about ANTS. who want NOTHING to do with me and every to do with idk leaves and crumbs#and I KNOW they're from the veranda. but nooooo someone is dumb and skipped her meds and now she's withdrawing and freaking out. about ANTS#EMBARRASSING.#as i'm typing this i'm scratching at myself for what is most likely 1) nothing 2) my hair or 3) cat fur#i'd bring this up to my therapist but he abandoned me </3 like they all do </3 i'm gonna develop abandonment issues at this rate LMAO#so uh anyway imma finish what I was doing (lie) and go to sleep (eventually) and take my meds#and hopefully remember to mention the formication to a health professional at some point lol#i just needed to write this down as evidence of how i'm feeling rn so tomorrow I can read this and say ''wow that was silly'' mkay? kay
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you don't like the inability to go back through the reblog chain because it makes it harder to 'prev tags'; I don't like the inability to go back through the reblog chain because it makes it harder to reblog a version of the post without an annoying comment, especially when some of the blogs involved are deactivated; we are not the same
#not rebloggable cuz I am just whining. I do not actually care about your stance on prev tags.#I have used them on occasion. I find them useful for responding to applauding someone's tags when it's too small for a full convo.#and I am uninterested in my activity becoming a battleground against staff.#but also it does drive me nuts when I'm like 'man this whole chain is great except for the last comment#which is not emotionally wrong but is factually inaccurate on one minute point that I am nonetheless going to split hairs about'#anyway this one was giving terfs too much credit for having come up with radfem theory and like.#terfs/exclusionists as their contemporary movement are new (and more importantly louder and more effective).#but this is a new iteration of radfems who have been kicking since the 60s at least.#audre lorde and bell hooks were not writing against radfems in particular long before you were born#for you to claim that feminism always unilaterally agreed on the fact that men are also negatively affected by the patriarchy.#like it's FINE if you don't know that but. it is a minute point that is nonetheless important to me not to repeat. ANYWAY.#not me going through a whole bunch of wikipedia pages cuz I second guessed myself about facts.#and I couldn't just be WRONG if I was mad about people being minutely wrong now could I.
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Being made aware of a vaguely well-known local band is surreal because they went to an all-boys school that’s literally 10 minutes away from where I live
#sunny days#like of course there are gonna be bands nearby#but like#these guys are actually kinda popular??#like they have a pretty decent amount of people listening to them on spotify#and they do tours pretty frequently by the looks#i hadn't heard of them before but that's honestly because i don't stray much from what i already know lol#like i already get excited when i find out a band is from australia in general#but they're in the same state???#and grew up in/near the same city as me??#it's slightly a big deal (to me) because my side of Aus is HUGE#so the fact that they are from a place that's close by is insane#(i know my wording is vague but i'm trying not to doxx myself lmao)#i love listening to aussie bands to because you can hear their accent and it's amazing#though sometimes it depends#cuz sometimes people sing with american accents cuz that's how we're trained to sing#anyways that's me rambling#anyways listen to My Funny Serpentine by Pond#good song#and what inspired this post
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...
#*head in hands* i've just been presented the possibility that this guy could think i might have been drunk at the party#and the one opportunity i had to tell him that i dont drink#bc the topic was drinking#i Didnt#oh my god#i think i didnt say it cuz i didnt want to be like “oh you dont drink? i dont drink? this is awesome haha hashtag relatable”#can i be normal about this...#i think finding out that other ppl can find me attractive has literally turned my brain into slime#like it only really hit me 3 years ago and this is my first time since i figured that out that im not in a relationship#im p sure it has something to do with that#cuz in my head im like. ohhh so i can date people..#and maybe show interest to ppl with the possibility of it being reciprocated.... Wow#but it's not like im throwing myself at mfs like. this is the first time in YEARS that i've had a genuine crush on someone#and i'm a better version of myself and i'm like. you know what#suddenly having a crush on someone doesnt feel so world-ending as it did when i was 14 lmfao#and at the same time I'M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND asndfjka what is the problemm
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Felt a bit emotional today over the movie's second anniversary and I thought I might embarrass myself about it online. This little film has become really special to me in how it captured my attention and drew me back into something I haven't been a part of for a long time: a creative community.
For a good portion of my adult life I had been forced to put my energies and creativity primarily towards my work. I wanted to tell stories that people enjoyed and had felt like my career was the only method to achieve that. But this community and fandom really sparked a creativity in me I haven't felt since I was younger and I'm so happy to be able to find that avenue I've always wanted not through an employer but through all of you! I have met so many wonderful and inspiring people and none of this would have happened if I hadn't randomly come upon the four minute opening of the film 2 years ago cuz Youtube looked at my algorithm and said: "hm, lets see if she still likes turtles."
Thank you everyone, for loving what I do and enjoying my work. It means the world, and while my updates have become slower due to longer comic posts, real world obligations, and health issues, I still strive to continue the story inspired by this movie with a passion that has shockingly never waned.
Here's to another wonderful year!
#I get very emotional about these two (three?)#can't wait to explore this relationship more in Replica#it's not going to be all clear sailing but that's what makes it interesting#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#kathaynesart#unpause rise of the tmnt#save rottmnt#unpause rottmnt#anniversary
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I want to see all the carnival AU bios again, but finding Zooble's is too hard, even when using the search. I hope there's a more organized way to view them.
(Trying to come up with nicknames that said characters would give my characters.)
CARNIVAL AU MASTERPOST + BOUNDARIES
Augh... I never know how to organize stuff! But here is a mini master post of the TADC Info Cards (edited):
The Main Cast (Minus Zooble :C)
Zooble ( Plus Zooble!!! :3)
Shiny Cards ✨
Lesser AI
THE GLOINKS!!!
Level layout
OFFICIAL COMIC:
The Entire Comic has also been dubbed by @volticglitch !! If you're not a reader, You can watch their dubs instead!! Here is the dub
Your best friend!
Jesterly duties
The hallway
Crying
First clue
Special event!
Foul language - a silly
Excuse me?
Leave!
A word with Bubble
Let it Settle
CONCEPT ART:
Characters Relationship Chart ( Bonus, OC relationship Chart!)
The Tent
The Funhouse
Cutscene
Pomni expressions
Character design
Meet Pomni
ALT character skins (Bonus, Maid skins because of course I did)
Pomni expressions AGAIN!!! (and a bonus)
The Jester's Circus tent (and a bonus)
References
Shape language ramble
LOREEE:
Neck pieces
Neck pieces (prt 2)
Neck pieces (prt 3)
Silly Frilly
Toxic Positivity Duo
Quick Ragatha Doodle
The Rabbit
Non-sentient Pomni
Pity Laugh
First act of violence
First and only visit
DOODLE DUMPS:
First look
Meet Jax
Meet Ragatha
Meet Kinger
Meet Able
Zooble's room
Theatre shinanigans
Thanks for listening
Jax Doodles
Ragatha doodles (Feat. Kaufmo)
Caine doodles
Queenie?
Colored doodles
Eye popping
Jax Ko-fi request!
SILLIES!!:
The "Sillies!!" Section is moved HERE becuase the mastpost couldn't take any more links!
╔══ ❀•°❀BOUNDERIES/FAQ❀°•❀ ══╗
"Can I make OCs In Carnival?" - Yess!! Multiple people already have and they make me so happy! do whatever, as long as you're happy and having fun!! " Can I make NSFW?" - Yas and slay, just be sure to warn and spoiler it, etc. etc. be responsible when posting NSFW! " Can I make Fanfics?" - Yes and please show me!! that would be lovely!! " Can I dub/voice your stuff?" - Yes but, I have only one rule... show me pleaaasseeee pls pls pls 🥺🙏 " Can I ship the characters/self ships/ OC x Canon?" - Aughh.. this is gonna suck to explain cuz its a lot to ask.. You're allowed to ship any ship! My only boundary is that it doesn't include either Pomni or Caine being with others who are not eachother! For example: Ragatha x Jax ✅ Pomni x Jax❌ Kinger x Queenie✅ Kinger x Caine❌ As long as the ship does not include Pomni or Caine individually, I'm all aboard!! I respect Jax x Pomni shippers, as well as Kinger x caine shippers, I just don't like them myself and don't want to accidentally stumble upon them in the tag! I do apologize if that's a lot, it just makes me uncomfy! Bounderies can be very tight! :')
#The amazing digital circus#the amazing digital carnival#carnival au#pomni#caine#zooble#gangle#kinger#Ragatha#Jax#tadc#tadc fanart#the amazing digital circus fanart#queenie#kaufmo#able
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