#I'm never going to be good enough
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#i might as well die#I'm never going to get my tuition paid#I'm never going to get out of debt (with student loans the one card i had and how much my father piles on)#I'm never going to be able to pay rent#I'm never going to get enough steps#I'm never going to lose weight#I'm never going to finish school#I'm never going to get a good job let alone work in the field i want#I'm never going to actually be attractive#I'm never going to be enough#I'm never going to get out of this damn house#I'm never going to get top surgery or a hysterectomy#I'm never going to be good enough#I'm never going to be loved#I'm never going to have a place of my own#I'm never going to get to travel#I'm never going to escape my father#I'm never going to have anything good#I'm never going to be able to afford anything i want#I'm never going to alive#I'm never going to be anything to anyone#I'm never going to be believed#I'm never going to have a chance to get a tattoo#i might as well be dead#i can't keep a job#i can't pick classes correctly#i can't drive without crashing#i can't budget#i can't do anything right#i can't even die properly
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chef with a silver earring
#close friends on the tweeter saw it first#but some nice ppl on the bear tw also liked it so i'm posting it here bc my tw account is going back to private !!#this has been in the drafts since nov 2023 bc im too much of a perfectionist and felt like this was not fully realized. never good enough#it sounds like ive been working on it for a full year but its not the case at all. altogether this was prob 1 week worth of work#but this year was tuff and i abandoned digital art a little bit and didn't work on it at all hsdsafjsdjas#but im setting it free now in hopes so that new art may come. hope some of you out there like it!#also hope in 2025 i can go back to doing a lil more stuff in a more disciplined manner lol#sydney adamu#ayo edebiri#the bear#the bear fx#the bear fanart#my art
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Skelekinz (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Webkinz#Gaster#Sans#Papyrus#Smol's a genius and I'm giving her at least a solid 50% of the inspiration credit on this one#Like I've already been in the mood of Webkinzifying others - there's more Helix stuff in the works I just aghldsjafskdlf#But then she tossed the idea of Gaster's blue hands being Buddies and agh gah what brilliance how quick on the draw#Lol#Really tho! Gaster's PSI being a Buddy - or like a Pet of the Month special or something - so cool! So clever!#And so the rest of it haha#Once again drawing his hands signing ''s'' and ''p'' :3c Who remembers my old vector of him still haha#And then also Void!Gaster! :D Looking much sadder haha his Happiness just never quite fills all the way nooo#Does momentarily when you give him a labcoat but then he just asks for something else to wear weh :'D#And obviously if he was Skele-kinz'd (hehe) then the boys had to be as well! ♥ Always deserve the cutes and sweets#Sans' is easy enough - there's no actual white turtleneck under blue jacket item but there Should be! It's so cute!#There is the Hotdog Buddy hehe - if you'll recalled Mini Mint who is currently cosplaying Sans has one :)#But there's no Spaghetti Buddy! Agh! So unfortunate#There is a Marshmallow Buddy tho :3 Which is pretty fun hehe#All this Sans rep gotta find a good Papyrus clothes and pet!#Had a good bit of fun imagining how they'd move around in rooms and such - there are bipedal pets! I think they walk funny haha#Sans would definitely always have his hands in his pockets outside of like emoting animations haha - little wave with his left hand <3#You could probably replace Gaster's clipboard prop with other things - the Halloween candy bucket comes to mind lol#And then some requests :D Papyrus would want spaghetti but of course his spaghetti is the very best (it's not)#But he'd still appreciate the comparison!#Gaster's requests would definitely be outlandish and impossible haha - or else to go to work and then to go to work again lol#You have to wait eight hours you workaholic skeleton you're not allowed! We Just Did! Haha
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soooo i've been real busy this past month and change working on this monster of a painting! it was originally for the GO Ref library study club but clearly took much longer than i anticipated😅
for those of you who don't recognize it, this is based on one of my favorite historical paintings, Judith Beheading Holofernes (1620) by Artemisia Gentileschi. i love the Baroque period and this painting (as well as her other works) makes me insane. here it is Good Omens style so maybe all of you can be insane with me <3
"Aziraphale (and Crowley) Beheading the Metatron"
(non-bloody and non-glowy versions under the cut)


#IT'S DONE#can i get a wahoo#dear tumblr pls don't fuck up the quality#sara does art#good omens#good omens fanart#shout out to the GORL server!!!#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#the metatron#OFF WITH HIS HEAD#i will never attempt digital oil painting again#(pls stop me if i do)#artemisia gentileschi#ITALIAN BAROQUE QUEEN#italian baroque#i need you all to know that the suggested tag that came up was 'italian barty crouch jr.'#david tennant you're already in this picture that's enough#baroque art#judith beheading holofernes#the superior version btw#tw blood#didn't you have a flaming sword? it was flaming like anything#if u zoom in pls appreciate the tartan bowtie detail#that shit took me way longer than it should have#as well as the approx 15hrs each i spent on azi's sleeves#did i miss any tags??#ART#i'm going to hibernate now thank you
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desperately trying not to crash out and deactivate my Tumblr before the DP fantasy zine drops
#It's not because of anything bad happening online.#It's entirely within my own mind and I just......don't feel like throwing my art into the social media void anymore.#It's become too much and I'm sick of never feeling 'good' enough to be on this website.#I push myself all the time to be better and improve and frankly the negative self talk I put myself through to get there is crushing me.#It's embarrassing to admit because I prefer to maintain a certain amount of anonymity and distance from my online presence#gotta maintain that 'cool artist' persona and all that.#but full disclosure I battle deep insecurities daily based entirely on my own perceived self. Someone who I'm certain doesn't even exist#except within my own mind.#even in this vent post I'm sure I'm being overdramatic and going through a rough patch I'll recover from soon.#realistically I'm not going to deactivate so I apologize for that scare.#I do wonder if erasing my online presence would help sometimes but eh 🤷#delete later#anyway I have art queued for the rest of the week but I might not be around for a while. ✌
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Almost
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#zutara fanart#Wip#First page of three is done!!!#Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!!#It's been ages since I started this project omg#But it's worth it#Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho#I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you#Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that.#Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first...#... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol#Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits#And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one...#And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts#So uh#Yeah#Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay)#Dema out#(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious)#(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)
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"I didn't get these scars falling over in church."
#rdr#rdr2#red dead redemption#red dead redemption 2#john marston#my art#hiiiiiiii#first post of 2025 which is actually from december still lol#art backlog goes crazy#anyway. i was just thinking like#of little john and that particular line#did he ever believe?#before he ran away from the orphanage and lived on the streets and realized no god was going to save him or protect him#did he hope pray or beg#praying to some nebulous just god that he'd be good if it meant he'd have a warm house and a loving family and a full stomach#only to end up finding his needs filled in the belly of the beast#with literal criminals and outlaws and under the thumb of someone who meant to use him#but it beats hoping and praying for salvation that never came#etc etc etc#i just think about these things....#also i know he doesnt look young enough for what i was envisioning OUGHHHH i'm still trying to get a good grasp on how i see him b4 canon
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Eliot at peace with being Damned
One of the things that makes Eliot hard to write for in-character (but also such an interesting character to explore) is that he believes he is damned to Hell and he is at peace with that. He has a lot of guilt, oceans of guilt, but it's not so much the tortured, anguished catholic guilt à la Nate or like, Daredevil.
He has done monstrous, unforgivable things. But, on his own, he came to a realization of what he had done, and pulled away from that world. On his own, he left the worst person he ever worked for, and stopped using guns, and stopped killing. On his own, he switched from wetwork to retrievals. This all occurs before we ever meet him, so while there are many hints and inferences, the specifics of how that happened, how he came to those decisions, are left up to the audience’s imagination.
Eliot wants to make the world a better place, and he works everyday with the team to help people, and he genuinely enjoys helping people and the work he does on the job. But he does not believe that he can be redeemed. (Not my own personal belief about him, but it is what he thinks). When he dies, he will go to Hell for his sins, and there is nothing that can possibly be done to change that. He doesn't need to angst over it, because it’s just a fact. It is what it is. There is no point agonizing over whether his soul can be saved, because he knows it cannot. This is both a keystone of his character, and also something he doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about day-to-day, because it’s a settled matter.
And as much as we love Eliot the character, he has a point that lives are not tradable for equivalent exchange. If he killed a specific family 25 years ago, that was snuffing out the light and potential and future of those particular parents and children. The surviving extended family lost those particular relatives. Saving a family now does not balance that ledger, because each person is a unique life and not interchangeable for another. While I may have different beliefs about Hell and redemption than Eliot, I still want to acknowledge that he has a point. That changing now doesn't necessarily help the people he hurt in the past, and unlike Harry, he can’t work down a list of making amends, because almost all of his victims are dead. There is no atonement to the dead.
Eliot’s redemption is in seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and helping others get to it. Particularly the team, and particularly the pair he’s going to protect until his dying day. He will stay down there in the dark forever (he believes), but getting the others out is his redemption.
I do not believe that Eliot will actually go to Hell when he dies, but his belief that he is damned is fundamental to who he is as a character, and he is going to believe that for the rest of his life. It can be really challenging to balance that when writing his POV, particularly when delving into events that dredge this stuff up for him (which we writers love to do because it’s so delicious). Eliot doesn’t exactly have a low self-esteem. He knows he has many skills and is exceptional at them (cooking, fighting, grifting, guitar, sports, etc). He pretty much knows his teammates love him, and care about him, and want him to stay alive for them, and spend the rest of his life with them. He has professional pride, and he will argue when he wants something. He is certainly not a doormat. However, he also believes he is fundamentally and irrevocably a bad person. Balancing between him not being too self-deprecating in normal situations / about his usefulness to the team, with his inherent belief in his own moral depravity can be a thin blade to walk without falling to one side or another. But it is also one of the biggest aspects of his psyche that makes him such a fascinating and complex character to explore.
#leverage redemption#leverage#eliot spencer#leverage meta#a lot of this is based on interviews from#christian kane#and#john rogers#Like that one time a few years ago when CK said Eliot was basically a serial killer#and the fandom had a lot of discussion about how Eliot is not a serial killer for this-this-and-this reason#And I'm like yeah#I agree with your definition of that term and that I do not think Eliot fits it#but I also think it is absolutely a thought that Eliot might feasibly have about himself#so for his actor to say that just means he is really good at his job of understanding and portraying that character#I am trying to write my own leverage fics; however I am the slowest writer in the world#but I have so many ideas and i love the#leverage ot3 so much#and L:R S3 is giving me LIFE with those 3#It's just hard to not woobify eliot with insecurity while also not erasing his self-worth issues#he is settled and at peace- but he is at peace with the fact that he evil -or maybe just unforgivable#which we see in the show and hear from the creator and the actor#And don't get me wrong- I absolutely love fics where Hardison and Parker help reassure Eliot#that he is good and he is loved and he is more than his worst actions#and ones where he dreads them finding things out about his past#because he is sure they will be disgusted and kick him out and never want anything else to do with him#but they love now-Eliot for who he has become no matter what he did in the past. And they tell him it doesn't matter#whether he deserves their love because love is not about deserving or doing enough to earn the privilege of it#They love him for the person he is now and they are never letting him go
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Tag game: tag nine people you’d like to know better.
Tagged by: @oneshoulderangel (Thank you for tagging me!)
Last song: At the moment, I have "Losing Your Memory" by Alan Star stuck in my head, which I suppose makes it my current song, not my last song. Hm. I get songs stuck in my head very easily, but the last one I had there for a significant amount of time was a mashup of different language versions of "Les Rois du Monde" for about a week. "Lehetsz Király", the Magyar version, is probably my favorite of them. It's worth a listen.
Currently watching: Normally, the answer would be "random mostly terrible old movies/shows" or "nothing much", but I currently have a hyperfixation on the musical Roméo et Juliette and have been watching it in multiple languages. (Thus, the song).
Three ships: This is hard. Maybe as a result of being on the ace and aro spectrums, I'm more likely to care about which characters are interacting than whether it's romantic or platonic. Here goes:
Kedivere/Bedikay. It can be romantic, platonic, or queerplatonic, but whichever way, I'm here for it. I probably spend too much time thinking about how in Cullwch and Olwen, when Cai gets mad at Arthur and marches out, Bedwyr stays behind, keeps acting like nothing's happened, and isn't the one to avenge Cai's death. The feeling of betrayal on both sides has a lot of unexplored potential. And the version where Bedivere dies and Kay fights to bring his body back safely while mortally wounded himself... And the version where Bedivere survives Camlann and Kay isn't said to fight in it, so they might be left together after their world has fallen apart...
Platonically or queerplatonically, Galahad and the Grail Heroine. I really like the tragic Grail Quest friendships, but I like theirs most, maybe because there's something weird and otherworldly about them both. I like it when characters are strange and endearing and doomed by the narrative.
Ever since reading John Matthews' retelling, which I read before the original, I've had a soft spot for Caradoc and Guinier. The Story of Caradoc is very disturbing, and I have some major qualms with Caradoc over a detail Matthews cut out, but all the same, there's a reason these two have the best track record with magical fidelity tests. Each of them would go to the ends of the earth for the other, and together, they're stronger than any curse.
Favorite Color: Blue, particularly royal blue and some teals.
Currently consuming: Black licorice with chocolate.
First ship: This is a hard one, since through elementary and most of middle school, I tended to go along with whatever I thought the author's intentions were and was more likely to unship something. The first non-endgame ship I got invested in was Sonya/Nikolai in War and Peace. I didn't like Nikolai, but Sonya did, and she was my favorite character, so I wanted her to be happy. The first non-canon couple I thought was meant to be together was also in War and Peace: Marya Bolkonskaya and Julie Karagina. My eighth grade self did not think their letters could be interpreted platonically. I still don't.
Last movie: If the musical doesn't count, the last movie I watched was Quest for Camelot, which was awful. Though not Robot Monster-level bad, Robot Monster has an elegance to its simplicity which Quest for Camelot lacks.
Currently working on: Various fics, most of them Arthuriana or CotRK-related (I am woefully behind on the Badfic Bingo), and (theoretically) an epic-style poem, though I haven't gotten much of it written for quite a while now.
Tagging: @gawrkin, @emperorcandy, @wildbasil, @gorewound, @knightsofsomethingorother, @ladyminaofcamelot, @tasosotaso, @amashelle, @gingersnaptaff (I have no idea who's been tagged so far, apart from the people on @oneshoulderangel's post, so I apologize for any multi-tags)
#tagging game#I might have rushed this but I was worried I was going to spend a long time overthinking it if I didn't#I have one ask for a theme song for Kay from the Spring which I still haven't answered#despite having a whole playlist for him#because I'm not sure any of the songs are good enough and after all this time the stakes seem higher#It was an anon too so the chances are the person will never see it at this point#I'm counting this getting posted as a rare win for non-perfectionism
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One thing that fucking gets me about people who don't like Revali or who like Revali but "only in Japanese because he's nicer" (iirc he isn't really people are confusing straightfoward with nice but whatever) is that they always bring up that scene on the Divine Beast after Link has freed him, where he says "I guess I was wrong about...how lucky he'd be." And everyone's like "oh he's such a sore loser he can't admit Link is better than him" which like ok YEAH but there's more to it than that. The thing that nobody actually talks about is the FUCKING PAUSE in the middle there, because he's not saying Link is lucky. He's actually admitting he was wrong about Link period. He's acknowledging (terribly) that Link is a better warrior than him, but he doesn't want to say that out loud because this jackass never says what he means. So he pauses there, because the audience is meant to expect that sentence to be "I guess I was wrong about him" and he wants to imply that. And then he says something dismissive to give himself plausible deniability because he's allergic to expressing genuine emotions. To understand Revali as a character you gotta understand what he's leaving unsaid. You have to look at his actions not his words, because if he truly thought Link was just lucky or not good enough he never would have given him his gale.
#he has NUANCE goddamn it#this bitch never says what he actually feels#he's a tsundere#I'm begging you to read between the lines#go read his diary and tell me he wasn't trying desperately to prove he was good enough#tell me he hated link bc he was arrogant and not because he wanted to prove himself#tell me that page about “not understanding” zelda is genuinely his thoughts#abd not him pretending he doesn't butterly understand what it's like to have your best not be good enough#because despite everything he's still only backup and it feels like a rejection#made worse by the fact that he mistakes link's silence for arrogance#he cares deeply about everything he's just trying so hard to pretend he doesn't#idk if i should put this in the main tags but whatever#botw revali#revali#revali botw#aoc revali#botw#loz botw
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?Want a break from the ads? If you tap now to watch a short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! Yes, really! If you tap now you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! So what are you waiting for? I'm still waiting.. Why aren't you tapping? Don't you want 30 minutes of ad free music? If you tap now and watch the short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! It's that easy! If you want to be free from the ads forever considerIf it doesn't work for you, then you're using it wrong. Make sure you're using EVERY single filter. If you are currently, then de-select them and make sure they're updated and re-enable them. IT WILL WORK. There's no "it won't work" when you do this. It's either a 1 or a 0. Either a yes or no. Either a "it will work" or an "I am not using the adblocker correctly".
#hi!!! not dead!!! i've just had the most creative block ever DKFBNDF/#here's some poppup whale/dolphin variations for anon! thank u sm vacc anon for the req and kind words - hope u doing good!!/#all of u asks have been so sweet. bless u! <3/#poppup#deltarune#myart#and a teeny tiny ambyu. 2 small for the tag. teeny/#i'm very rusty at art-ing rn - if anyone has any reqs i would love to draw some! i still got lot's 2 go thru too tho <3/#also i finally went back n edited all my image ids into the images themselves - i'll still reblog ids over @ calmparticles-id/#cause 4000 characters will never b enough 4 me DKFJBDF i cannot write short ids 2 save my life or u eyes/#anyways that's enough tags for now!/
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Once again I offer you art that I didn't post when it was made✌🏻 One thing I have learned is to never throw away your art because even if you don't immediately like it you might some day
#and this isn't to say I don't cringe at some of my old art 😂 I think that's just an inescapable part of the experience#I think it's mostly perfectionism that stops me from liking some of my drawings#because fairly often I just randomly find a drawing that I actually really like but never posted cause I deemed it not good enough#and then later I'm like “so what if there are weird mistakes that stick out to me. If someone else had drawn this would I think this way”#and I see the parts that stopped me from posting a piece and am like why did it seem so important back then#I love looking through my old art and being like I'm so glad I drew this#especially if it's something I had forgotten about#idk what brought this art ramble on ig I'm just happy to find joy in creating when there's so much a i bs going on#also the paper this is drawn on literally has “why can't I draw anymore” on it so if you're feeling artblocky know that it will pass#violetscanfly#artists on tumblr#watercolour#wei wuxian#mo dao zu shi#mdzs fanart#mdzs#wei ying
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The sweet, lovely poly 141 boys and their Spanish-speaking latine partner.
This was meant to be a quick little thing, but boy did this get away from me lmao. This is the fluffiest shit I've ever indulged in and I love it. Big thank you to @mikichko for inspiring and helping with this!!!
cw: poly 141, gn!reader, latine reader, mexican slang, hint of d/s dynamics in Johnny's word count: 2.1K
Price, god love the man, is the one who seems to stumble the most. It's almost comical, considering the fact that Spanish and Arabic are so similar due to their histories. But there's a big difference between the Spanish he's learned to recognize and what you throw at him on the daily. He truly thinks it's because of his age, window of acquisition and all that. John does not expect to be able to speak fluently with you, but he does at least want to understand you. What he really wants, though, is to make you feel more fully at home with him, and he is forever grateful that you feel comfortable and safe enough with them to embrace all parts of your identity.
"Hola, amor mío. How was your day?" you greet him from the couch, eyeing him from tip to toe and almost whistling at seeing him in uniform. "Sigues rechulo, mi güerito, so I assume all went well?"
John swings down to kiss you, gripping the back of your neck to prolongue the kiss, trying to soak in as much of the affection as he can while also disguising the fact that he still doesn't fully recognize what came after.
"Yours was good too, I trust?"
"Yeah, but my brother called. El güey still con sus pinches mamadas and asking for my help. Aguas, in case he shows up this week."
"I... will keep an eye out, dove."
"Call me si les arma pedo and I'm not around."
He just nods sagely and squishes up against you on the couch, letting your warmth seep into his tired bones.
Later that evening, he rounds up the boys while you're in the shower and pulls out a small notebook where he's written things out phonetically. John may not have all the knowledge he needs, but he sure as hell is good at getting it.
"'Güey,' that's the brother's nickname?"
"No, that's like 'man/guy.' But it's also an insult. But not always," Johnny supplies.
"Fuck me, okay. 'Rechulo' is... I got nothing for that one."
"The 're' is for heavy emphasis, 'chulo' is 'cute/handsome/pretty.' 'Re' can go on practically any adjective," Simon steps in.
"'Aguas' and 'pedo' CANNOT be what they are, right?"
Kyle takes his hand and chuckles, "No, sweetheart. The first is like a warning, the second a fight or scene or scandal. In this context."
John's shoulders finally relax and he lets out a heavy sigh, putting the final touches on his notes of the day.
"Thank you, boys, for your patience and your kindness. And your secrecy," John huffs a little laughter and gives them his sweetest smile, the one where you can see the dimples poking out through the beard.
They all reach over to gently caress him, taking turns kissing the parts of him they can reach.
"Thank you, John, for trying so hard."
~
Beautiful, wonderful Kyle, the delight of a man that he is, is the one giving it as good as he gets. He's the one crooning in your ear, showering you with the most decadent terms of endearment, knowing full well they make your knees much weaker in Spanish. He'll use the advantage every single chance he has, don't doubt that for a second. But truly, it's the soft seclusion of those moments that he cherishes most, when you're looking up at him with big bright eyes, knowing you fully trust him to take care of you.
You're grumbling away as you wash dishes after dinner when Kyle comes up behind you, arms making the way slowly around your waist, chin dropping onto your shoulder.
"Oh, tesoro mío, look at you working away, working so hard for us."
You refuse to look at him and give a fussy pout. He knows it's your least favorite of the house duties. So much so that you're always willing to do almost anything as long as you don't have to touch wet food.
"It looks like you've done enough, cariño. Come join us in bed."
"No. None of you wanted to trade with me so se aguantan," you try to wiggle and bump his head away from yours.
"Come on, cosa hermosa, we need you with us to settle for the night," he pulls your hands from the water, drying them and turning you towards him.
You immediately bury your face into his chest. Can't look him in the eye, he'll win you over the moment you do.
"So they send in the smooth talker, huh?"
Kyle laughs, clear and bright, and he wraps you back up in his arms, gently cradling your head until you give in and look up at him.
"Or," he says, making you both rock gently, "I'm trying to sneak in a little solo time."
Your body melts against his as the words sink in, big eyes blinking softly up at him, "Besito?"
"As many as you want, mi vida. Until you grow bored of me," and you're letting out a sweet sigh as those soft lips meet yours.
His hands move to bring your body closer to his, to milk this quiet moment for as much contact as possible, to sear it all into his memory.
"You two are awfully quiet out there," Simon calls from the bedroom and it makes you break apart with a little jump.
You hear frantic rustling that has to be Johnny, "Hold on, what happened to doing the dishes!"
A chuckle escapes the two of you, sparkling eyes meeting in the low light from the stove hood. The sound of John huffing to get comfortable floats in from the bedroom.
"Just a minute more, hermosura," he mutters against your hair. "Wanna stay here a bit longer."
"Really liking all those pet names, aren't you?"
Kyle laughs again and gives you a squeeze, "Mean every single one of them."
And you happily linger, not pointing out that you've noticed an endearing pattern of Kyle wrapping up nights in the kitchen with you in his arms and a faint love song echoing down the hall for you two to sway to.
~
Beloved, darling Simon, he hides his own understanding of the language. He understands it nearly perfectly, with just the tiniest margin of error, nothing too big to bring attention to it. Overall, he's able to catch almost everything you mumble. It's not to be sneaky or anything like that, Simon would never do anything to compromise your privacy. It's more that he doesn't quite see the need to verbalize it. To him it's nothing special, no need to make a spectacle. Instead, he lets it seep into his actions, ever the acts of service lover that he is.
You're spread out on the couch, on the phone with your mother, complaining, "Como chingan los del trabajo. Me pidieron un reporte para el viernes y ahora me reclaman que todavía no se los he dado y apenas es miércoles."
There was a tension in your shoulders when you came home from work, he didn't miss that. Caught you jolting to a stop mid-stretch. And as the call goes on longer, Simon picks up on more.
"No he tenido chance de lavar ropa, ni una putisima pijama... Traigo un pinche antojo de mole, pero es un chingo de trabajo y ahorita no le puedo dedicar el tiempo..."
He quietly moves to gather the boys as you continue ranting and pace around the room. You're too caught up in your call to see them forming a massive huddle and their nodding at Simon right as the break and throw their joined hands in the air.
By the time you're off the phone, it's dark out and you notice the house is quieter than usual. You move to look for the boys (they can't have left without telling you, right?) when Simon pops out from the hall, crooked smile you love so much adorning his face, and he simply takes your hand to pull you into the bathroom. A hot bath greets you, some honeyed bath bomb already dissolving in the water and your laptop set up on a bucket besides the bath, your comfort show already pulled up and ready to play. Simon then points to your softest pajamas washed and set out on the counter for you.
"And you'll help me with my lotion too?"
He kisses your forehead, "When do I not?"
"The boys?"
"Setting up dinner. Kyle and I are making your favorite."
You whip around to face him, eyes wide and excited, "With fresh tortillas?"
With a low, affirmative hum Simon pulls you in closer and just holds you. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't need to. But he lends you his strength, which is all he can really hope for. The steady beat of his heart and the warmth of his arms around you help release the tightness in your body. Letting out your own little hum, you give him a squeeze and he squeezes back harder, crushing you in the way he knows you find comforting. There's a soft devotion in his tenderness with you, an unshakable support in every single thing you do.
"So you gonna undress me too, or...?"
A peal of laughter escapes you as he playfully swats at your butt, "Undress yourself. I've got cooking to do."
A day without hearing your laughter is a day poorly spent to Simon.
He's almost to the door when you pull him back into you, hands tugging on his shirt to bring him down to your height. His own laughter rumbles in his chest as you cover his face in loud kisses, and he stays locked in place. He will for as long as you need him to, never mind his back. If it's gonna go out eventually, he'd rather it go out from his time spent like this.
~
Johnny, bless the boy, is desperate to hear it, to have you address him directly. You speak plenty around the house, on phone calls with friends, talking back at the tv (some shows have been put on temporary bans, or at the very least you're not supposed to watch them alone), at the lovely crooked cat yall adopted. You shower them with pet names with every breath you take. And he loves it all! Loves that you so willingly share so much of yourself with them. But Johnny boy is dying for something specific- "Love, why don't you call me papi?"
When he voices it, it's a complete surprise. Simon and Kyle both laugh so hard so suddenly that they find themselves choking on their own spit. Price himself is caught so off-guard that he fully looks up from the dinner he's prepping in the kitchen, raw chicken slipping out of his hands and plopping back into the flour bowl. You at first laugh it off lightly, thinking it was one of his cutesy jokes he makes to get a giggle out of everyone. That would have made the most sense, honestly. But when he looks away, big blue eyes shining with the softest hint of embarrassment, it sinks in.
You shift in your seat a fraction, "Johnny, I don't even call any of you that in English. You know it's not exactly the same thing, right?"
"I know but the little old lady from the corner shop calls me "papi" and so does the older man who brings the water and other people too and it's always so affectionate and so I thought..."
He spares a glance at you, hoping he hasn't completely overstepped.
"Where did this come from?"
"Ale let it slip last time we grabbed coffee and the joy on Rudy's face was so blinding that I thought maybe we should try it."
"Honey--"
"Please, just once."
"But I--"
"It doesn't have to be a title! It can be soft and casual, no expectations."
"You don't--"
"I promise I'll be good for it."
Oh.
Your gaze meets the other boys' and you all take a good look at your Johnny. At some point during his pleading he brought himself down to kneel in front of you. His broad shoulders are slumped forward in submission, his hands clenched together so tightly his fingertips are completely white. Price nods at you, the other two eagerly nodding along as well.
Leaning forward, you grab him by the jaw, gently bringing his head to rest against your thigh.
Running your fingers through his hair, you utter out a low, "Sweet little thing like you just wants to be good, don't you papi?"
Johnny's eyes glaze over slightly, a shy, dazed smile growing on his face. There's not an ounce of hesitation in him as he nuzzles his face into your thigh, just sweet elation. Pleased grumbles escape the others, making Johnny's smile grow bigger.
You make sure to add it into your regular circulation.
#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#poly 141 x latine reader#cod x reader#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#johnny soap mactavish#captain john price#ghost x reader#gaz x reader#soap x reader#price x reader#i cannot emphasize the poly of this enough#this is truly some of the most self indulgent shit i've ever written and i've never been happier lmao#honestly this is just precious moments with each of them#i'm definitely going to be writing more 141 x latine reader#prepare to be fucking sick of me#frfr tho this is the first long thing i've written in years and ngl it feels good to be doing it again#also yeah i tend to sprinkle in commas like they're condiments
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Very interesting how in the duga ending Perseus is genuinely delighted that you're still alive and welcomes you back as his comrade with open arms and he's supposed to be the bad guy whereas the "good guys" of the game make it very clear in their treatment of you that they do not think of you as a person let alone their friend.
#Woods and Mason are perhaps the only innocent ones on the “good” side and thats ONLY if they didn't know#They still aren't good people though by virtue of being CIA though#whatever protestations Park Sims and Lazar may have had it wasn't enough#Duga ending 4 lyfe#fuck the west i'm going to side with the people who see me as their equal not their dog#The only downside of the Duga ending is Bell being hard wired to want Adler/Parks approval and now having to go on knowing they will never#be able to attain it#both because of their “betrayal” and because it was never trult possible for them to get the approval and relationship of comradery#that they wanted#its like any other relationship with an abuse authority figure that is out of your life now#the desire for their approval and what you could have done differently to get it never goes away#cod cw#cod cold war#black ops cold war#black ops cw#call of duty black ops cold war
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So the wildest thing happened where @mactheactor decided to dub over (if that's even the correct terminology) the Chaos Sonic animation I made!!!!
I'm still in utter awe about this like, hands down the coolest thing ever I've been thinking about this non-stop. Hope y'all enjoy it as much as I do!!
#starrway art#sonic prime#chaos sonic#okay now that the nice text for the post is done AHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!#I've been screaming about this for the last 24 hours and the shock of it has worn down just enough for me to post this#NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED THIS WOULD HAPPEN IN A MILLION YEARS????#Sonic Prime is what got me on this long hyperfixation in the first place and I've met so many cool people in the fandom#and generally having a blast making art and it's been such a great time#so to then have Deven Mack come in and think that my stuff is awesome is such an insanely cool thing#it means a whole lot is what I'm trying to say haha#I do have to like microdose on this video because it makes me so incredibly happy that I get very overwhelmed by it#In a very good way though it makes me want to run laps outside#thanks to everyone I've met/interacted with so far being some of kindest people y'all are awesome#idk if this post is even like coherent I've been writing it in my mind for the past day because I have no idea how to even go about this#ok good night hehehe
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Kpop demon hunters is SOOOOOO good untillllll the last six scenes. Where did half this stuff come from did the corpo lords come in and fuck your script animators?
#Like as soon as it gets to Rumi at the tree I'm literally like 🧍♂️#okay what's the tree. Why is Celine there. They're not speaking like they r people? Huh#Celine is all 'well I love half of you 🥺' and Rumi runs away demon angry but it's NEVER resolved.#It's like the only time we see Celine in the movie.#And then Zoey and Mira break up the rest of the band but it's kind of. Poorly written. Which OKAY that's okay idc 😊 it lasts for 39 seconds#Which is not the most important part of the movie#But then their manager is just kind of there it feels like the scriptwriters wanted him to turn into a demon#He just never ended up getting to it#And then there's a whole concert which is fun!!!#Only you realize fire guy (gwi ma) is there only after they go all boy band#It feels anticlimactic#ANYWAYS then Rumi comes in and they tried to do an anime fake out but it was just kind of stupid.#So she has the wrong expression the whole time and then they do a song where rumis accepted herself#Not ACCEPTS herself. ACCEPTED herself.#Like we are supposed to know that??? Two minutes ago she tried to get her mom to stab her with her own sword.#So how are you just okay with it you made NO MENTION#and Mira and Zoey are all good with her. O.k.#and THEN#get this#Jinu sacrifices himself to gwi ma. I didn't know he could do that. Why can he stop fire. Ok. OH. KAY.#so he does and it's all happy but like he did not have enough of a change of heart visually or verbally to do this what the hell#So that happens BLAH BLAH BLAH cool song scene BAND BREAKUP NEVER ADRESSED.#never EVER.#WHAT ABOUT ALL THE MISISBG PERSONS??????#orrrrr the fuckinggggg FACT THAT THE HONMOON NEVER WENT GOLD????? yeah it fixed itself but it NEVER TURNED GOLD R U. STUPIDDSDD#IM . The movie was good till 70% percent of the way in I don't even really dislike it it was just a stupid ending 😭#kpop demon hunters#Spoiler#Spoilers#Sony
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