#I'm never going to be good enough
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
.
#i might as well die#I'm never going to get my tuition paid#I'm never going to get out of debt (with student loans the one card i had and how much my father piles on)#I'm never going to be able to pay rent#I'm never going to get enough steps#I'm never going to lose weight#I'm never going to finish school#I'm never going to get a good job let alone work in the field i want#I'm never going to actually be attractive#I'm never going to be enough#I'm never going to get out of this damn house#I'm never going to get top surgery or a hysterectomy#I'm never going to be good enough#I'm never going to be loved#I'm never going to have a place of my own#I'm never going to get to travel#I'm never going to escape my father#I'm never going to have anything good#I'm never going to be able to afford anything i want#I'm never going to alive#I'm never going to be anything to anyone#I'm never going to be believed#I'm never going to have a chance to get a tattoo#i might as well be dead#i can't keep a job#i can't pick classes correctly#i can't drive without crashing#i can't budget#i can't do anything right#i can't even die properly
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
chef with a silver earring
#close friends on the tweeter saw it first#but some nice ppl on the bear tw also liked it so i'm posting it here bc my tw account is going back to private !!#this has been in the drafts since nov 2023 bc im too much of a perfectionist and felt like this was not fully realized. never good enough#it sounds like ive been working on it for a full year but its not the case at all. altogether this was prob 1 week worth of work#but this year was tuff and i abandoned digital art a little bit and didn't work on it at all hsdsafjsdjas#but im setting it free now in hopes so that new art may come. hope some of you out there like it!#also hope in 2025 i can go back to doing a lil more stuff in a more disciplined manner lol#sydney adamu#ayo edebiri#the bear#the bear fx#the bear fanart#my art
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered
Tommy's family arc
#911#911edit#911 abc#911 show#911 spoilers#911 season 7#tommy kinard#evan buckley#evan 'buck' buckley#kinley#bucktommy#kinkley#tevan#pick a ship name you guys and thanks for picking tevan the most correct name#anyway analysis time!#looking back with Modern Knowledge tm about why tommy acts the way he does in the past... babygirl you were so closeted I'm so proud#babygirl was back there getting into narnia#he was so resistant to letting go of the pseudo-family he'd found at the 118 in chimney begins#even tho it was a good old boys club that he knew he really didn't fit into he was making himself fit because at least it was something#but then he let chimney in and then hen came around and he saw a very queer person being openly queer and not giving a fuck what they think#and I think his behavior in that episode was trying to support hen as much as he could without outing himself#because like. how do you give up years of relative safety with people who do care about you they just won't like you anymore if you're *you#then he meets buck in s7 which is like 10-20 years later timeline is fake and he's like oh. this is what unconditional family is#and he's like oh. maybe I can come back. maybe I can be part of this again somehow. maybe we've both grown enough#or at the very least he'll be close to something he never believed would really happen for him#rant over tevan my beloved tim minear pillow cold both sides god bless#my edits
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Marvel's Squirrel Girl: The Unbeatable Radio Show! | All of Erik Lehnsherr's Call-In's
Episodes featured: The Fate of My Universe The Sinister Six Are No More Who Would Win In A Fight? Unbeatable
Full Podcast Playlist (Spotify)
Credits below:
Written by: Ryan North
Directed by: Giovanna Sardelli
Voice Cast: Milana Vayntrub - Squirrel Girl/Doreen Green Crystal Lucas Perry - Nancy Whitehead Leo Sheng - Koi Boi/Ken Shiga Davied Morales - Chipmunk Hunk/Tomas Lara-Perez Erica Schroeder - Tippy T. Squirrel Rob Nagle - Erik Lehnsherr
Key Art: "Squirrel Girl Infinity Comic (2022)" by Derek Charm - Doreen, Nancy, Ken, Tomas, Tippy "Magneto (2023)" by Todd Nauck - Erik
#marvel#x-men#squirrel girl#magneto#cherik#i'm not tagging everyone im too drunkf rothat#i dont have a tag for vids DAMIt> this gon be my only oen#snap chats#HERE IT ISS !!!!! FINALLY !!! LIKE FOUR MONTHS IN THE MAKING <- was just too lazy to do it#i thought id focus on work all day but OOPSIEE !!!!!!!!! i was too inspired#legally had to use nauck's art that's another goat of mine ... i love his style sm its so cute and expressive and bold...#theres small things in this that bother me but whatever ive literally done this all day#im posting it and moving on#im forcing you to reblog this. DO IT#i kept giggling while makign this cause mags is so funny ....#im still crying at him being like 'yeah i said i was never going back AND I MEANT IT'#also doreen a cherik shipper ...... queen behavior i always knew it#PLEASE ENJOY !!! IM BEGGING YOU !!!! im pinning this to my blog idc this took forever#also his call ins are genuinely so funny i love him so much. my silly peepaw.....#take a shot every time he says 'charles' tho i swear to god#i was actually going to do that tongiht but Legit the amount of whiskey i had was not enough HE SAYS CHARLES SO MUCH#im ending the tags here so i dont go on a rant about how in love mags is with charles. enoug..#NOT EVEN A PODCAST SERRIES IS SAFE FROM CHERIK IM CRYINGGGGGG#they will makethemselves a probelm to EVERYONE#'please dont be evil' he'll be worse. he'll be needy jLVKAJ ERIK IS SO NEEDY IM CRYING#ok i think thats all i have to sya . im a lil tipsy so i cant think right#WAIR I REMEMBER I WANTED TO CRY ABOUT ERIKS STPID 'SWEETOOTH' JOKE I HATE HIM !!!! <- deeply in love with him#'snap you said you were drinking like ten minutes ago are you fr' dont look at me. GOOD NIGHT !!!
505 notes
·
View notes
Text
do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great
i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually
#ramble#yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am#and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.#drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks#i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me#one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know#i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary#some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier#and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless#signs that i should go to bed ^^^^#i will resume my pity party tomorrow
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Welcome to the Dungeons of Fear and Hunger.
#Fear and Hunger#D'arce Cataliss#Cahara#Ragnvaldr#Enki Ankarian#Unlike Dungeon Meshi - I cannot in good faith recommend this game to a broad audience.#My background with F&H goes as follows: I am hanging out with a friend. He says “hey try this game I've been playing.” I say “Okay!”#I have never heard of this game. I pick the mercenary. I go through 5 min of character history and background. I am mauled to death by dogs#It took me 4 resets to even get in the dungeon. But I finally get there. I am caught by a guard. He cuts off all but one of my limbs#I am forced to crawl around in a blood and corpse pit until the game tells me 'give up idiot'.#I reset. I am mauled by dogs again. I realize this is not for me but I am intrigued enough to go home and watch some playthroughs#And WOW what an interesting game it is! I really do appreciate games that blend their design philosophy with the theme it wants to set#This is a game about fear and hunger. And persevering. And penis (my god is there a lot of penis)#I recommend this to people who like extremely challenging games and can handle the many *content warnings* within this series#If the idea of Bloodborne/eldenring and undertale having a little RPG maker baby sounds appealing to you - give it a shot#It's made by ONE GUY and it's a great horror game. I am just really bad at it.#My friends just enjoy putting me in situations where I scream and yell. We don't talk about the corn mazes. Or the other horror game nights#Apparently I'm funny when I'm Scared!#As people who follow me on twitter might know; I am deep in the pits of this series right now. I will be back with more art.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
soooo i've been real busy this past month and change working on this monster of a painting! it was originally for the GO Ref library study club but clearly took much longer than i anticipated😅
for those of you who don't recognize it, this is based on one of my favorite historical paintings, Judith Beheading Holofernes (1620) by Artemisia Gentileschi. i love the Baroque period and this painting (as well as her other works) makes me insane. here it is Good Omens style so maybe all of you can be insane with me <3
"Aziraphale (and Crowley) Beheading the Metatron"
(non-bloody and non-glowy versions under the cut)
#IT'S DONE#can i get a wahoo#dear tumblr pls don't fuck up the quality#sara does art#good omens#good omens fanart#shout out to the GORL server!!!#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#the metatron#OFF WITH HIS HEAD#i will never attempt digital oil painting again#(pls stop me if i do)#artemisia gentileschi#ITALIAN BAROQUE QUEEN#italian baroque#i need you all to know that the suggested tag that came up was 'italian barty crouch jr.'#david tennant you're already in this picture that's enough#baroque art#judith beheading holofernes#the superior version btw#tw blood#didn't you have a flaming sword? it was flaming like anything#if u zoom in pls appreciate the tartan bowtie detail#that shit took me way longer than it should have#as well as the approx 15hrs each i spent on azi's sleeves#did i miss any tags??#ART#i'm going to hibernate now thank you
603 notes
·
View notes
Text
Almost
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#zutara fanart#Wip#First page of three is done!!!#Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!!#It's been ages since I started this project omg#But it's worth it#Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho#I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you#Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that.#Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first...#... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol#Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits#And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one...#And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts#So uh#Yeah#Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay)#Dema out#(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious)#(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)
771 notes
·
View notes
Text
"I didn't get these scars falling over in church."
#rdr#rdr2#red dead redemption#red dead redemption 2#john marston#my art#hiiiiiiii#first post of 2025 which is actually from december still lol#art backlog goes crazy#anyway. i was just thinking like#of little john and that particular line#did he ever believe?#before he ran away from the orphanage and lived on the streets and realized no god was going to save him or protect him#did he hope pray or beg#praying to some nebulous just god that he'd be good if it meant he'd have a warm house and a loving family and a full stomach#only to end up finding his needs filled in the belly of the beast#with literal criminals and outlaws and under the thumb of someone who meant to use him#but it beats hoping and praying for salvation that never came#etc etc etc#i just think about these things....#also i know he doesnt look young enough for what i was envisioning OUGHHHH i'm still trying to get a good grasp on how i see him b4 canon
151 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tag game: tag nine people you’d like to know better.
Tagged by: @oneshoulderangel (Thank you for tagging me!)
Last song: At the moment, I have "Losing Your Memory" by Alan Star stuck in my head, which I suppose makes it my current song, not my last song. Hm. I get songs stuck in my head very easily, but the last one I had there for a significant amount of time was a mashup of different language versions of "Les Rois du Monde" for about a week. "Lehetsz Király", the Magyar version, is probably my favorite of them. It's worth a listen.
Currently watching: Normally, the answer would be "random mostly terrible old movies/shows" or "nothing much", but I currently have a hyperfixation on the musical Roméo et Juliette and have been watching it in multiple languages. (Thus, the song).
Three ships: This is hard. Maybe as a result of being on the ace and aro spectrums, I'm more likely to care about which characters are interacting than whether it's romantic or platonic. Here goes:
Kedivere/Bedikay. It can be romantic, platonic, or queerplatonic, but whichever way, I'm here for it. I probably spend too much time thinking about how in Cullwch and Olwen, when Cai gets mad at Arthur and marches out, Bedwyr stays behind, keeps acting like nothing's happened, and isn't the one to avenge Cai's death. The feeling of betrayal on both sides has a lot of unexplored potential. And the version where Bedivere dies and Kay fights to bring his body back safely while mortally wounded himself... And the version where Bedivere survives Camlann and Kay isn't said to fight in it, so they might be left together after their world has fallen apart...
Platonically or queerplatonically, Galahad and the Grail Heroine. I really like the tragic Grail Quest friendships, but I like theirs most, maybe because there's something weird and otherworldly about them both. I like it when characters are strange and endearing and doomed by the narrative.
Ever since reading John Matthews' retelling, which I read before the original, I've had a soft spot for Caradoc and Guinier. The Story of Caradoc is very disturbing, and I have some major qualms with Caradoc over a detail Matthews cut out, but all the same, there's a reason these two have the best track record with magical fidelity tests. Each of them would go to the ends of the earth for the other, and together, they're stronger than any curse.
Favorite Color: Blue, particularly royal blue and some teals.
Currently consuming: Black licorice with chocolate.
First ship: This is a hard one, since through elementary and most of middle school, I tended to go along with whatever I thought the author's intentions were and was more likely to unship something. The first non-endgame ship I got invested in was Sonya/Nikolai in War and Peace. I didn't like Nikolai, but Sonya did, and she was my favorite character, so I wanted her to be happy. The first non-canon couple I thought was meant to be together was also in War and Peace: Marya Bolkonskaya and Julie Karagina. My eighth grade self did not think their letters could be interpreted platonically. I still don't.
Last movie: If the musical doesn't count, the last movie I watched was Quest for Camelot, which was awful. Though not Robot Monster-level bad, Robot Monster has an elegance to its simplicity which Quest for Camelot lacks.
Currently working on: Various fics, most of them Arthuriana or CotRK-related (I am woefully behind on the Badfic Bingo), and (theoretically) an epic-style poem, though I haven't gotten much of it written for quite a while now.
Tagging: @gawrkin, @emperorcandy, @wildbasil, @gorewound, @knightsofsomethingorother, @ladyminaofcamelot, @tasosotaso, @amashelle, @gingersnaptaff (I have no idea who's been tagged so far, apart from the people on @oneshoulderangel's post, so I apologize for any multi-tags)
#tagging game#I might have rushed this but I was worried I was going to spend a long time overthinking it if I didn't#I have one ask for a theme song for Kay from the Spring which I still haven't answered#despite having a whole playlist for him#because I'm not sure any of the songs are good enough and after all this time the stakes seem higher#It was an anon too so the chances are the person will never see it at this point#I'm counting this getting posted as a rare win for non-perfectionism
164 notes
·
View notes
Text
?Want a break from the ads? If you tap now to watch a short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! Yes, really! If you tap now you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! So what are you waiting for? I'm still waiting.. Why aren't you tapping? Don't you want 30 minutes of ad free music? If you tap now and watch the short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! It's that easy! If you want to be free from the ads forever considerIf it doesn't work for you, then you're using it wrong. Make sure you're using EVERY single filter. If you are currently, then de-select them and make sure they're updated and re-enable them. IT WILL WORK. There's no "it won't work" when you do this. It's either a 1 or a 0. Either a yes or no. Either a "it will work" or an "I am not using the adblocker correctly".
#hi!!! not dead!!! i've just had the most creative block ever DKFBNDF/#here's some poppup whale/dolphin variations for anon! thank u sm vacc anon for the req and kind words - hope u doing good!!/#all of u asks have been so sweet. bless u! <3/#poppup#deltarune#myart#and a teeny tiny ambyu. 2 small for the tag. teeny/#i'm very rusty at art-ing rn - if anyone has any reqs i would love to draw some! i still got lot's 2 go thru too tho <3/#also i finally went back n edited all my image ids into the images themselves - i'll still reblog ids over @ calmparticles-id/#cause 4000 characters will never b enough 4 me DKFJBDF i cannot write short ids 2 save my life or u eyes/#anyways that's enough tags for now!/
741 notes
·
View notes
Text
Once again I offer you art that I didn't post when it was made✌🏻 One thing I have learned is to never throw away your art because even if you don't immediately like it you might some day
#and this isn't to say I don't cringe at some of my old art 😂 I think that's just an inescapable part of the experience#I think it's mostly perfectionism that stops me from liking some of my drawings#because fairly often I just randomly find a drawing that I actually really like but never posted cause I deemed it not good enough#and then later I'm like “so what if there are weird mistakes that stick out to me. If someone else had drawn this would I think this way”#and I see the parts that stopped me from posting a piece and am like why did it seem so important back then#I love looking through my old art and being like I'm so glad I drew this#especially if it's something I had forgotten about#idk what brought this art ramble on ig I'm just happy to find joy in creating when there's so much a i bs going on#also the paper this is drawn on literally has “why can't I draw anymore” on it so if you're feeling artblocky know that it will pass#violetscanfly#artists on tumblr#watercolour#wei wuxian#mo dao zu shi#mdzs fanart#mdzs#wei ying
181 notes
·
View notes
Text
also - I know this is secondary to the abuse that actually materialised for gaiman's victims, but I've seen enough other secondary concerns being aired that I think this one needs doing too:
Talking about the gaiman allegations in a way that treats 'fans' and 'victims' as entirely separate, siloed categories is common but supremely unhelpful. Some of his victims were fans that he met at signings. That alone means there's no clear categories, however much you might want it.
But the additional point is - Well, some of his victims were fans who liked him enough to go to signings. All of his victims seem to have been young women. There's quite a lot of people who've been fans of his work and identified as a young woman at the same point in their lives.
There is SO much disdain for the fans who have been trying to process all this stuff on a personal level, even to the extent of insinuating that personal processing is an immoral thing to do in this case. But I feel like there is basically ZERO acknowledgement, so far, that for anyone who is or has been a gaiman fan and a young woman at the same time - processing all this may well include processing the knowledge that he would likely have viewed/assessed them as a potential victim, had they met. And some of them did meet him!
That's not nothing to have to come to terms with about someone you previously looked up to, and it's not something you can easily ignore, even for the noblest of reasons!
#Neil gaiman#cw rape#cw assault#cw sa#good omens#the sandman#dead boy detectives#also tbf although I do meet both those criteria and this has definitely been part of my own processing#I am self aware enough to know that I personally would never have been especially at risk in this situation#because he definitely seems to have taken to heart the idea of 'if you're famous hot 20 year olds will always want to sleep with you'#and like. that ain't me and it wasn't when I was 20. I am not conventionally attractive#but I know that for other people this is going to be a much more significant part of things#like for plenty of people awareness of their attractiveness comes partly through being harassed#and if that is something someone's already got going on then it feels as though that could interact with this in some very gnarly ways#but also the knowledge of like. looking up to someone who cultivated an admirable persona#and then learning that they would likely not have even done you the courtesy of regarding you with indifference#as would be their prerogative#but that their opinion/assessment of you in turn would've likely boiled down to 'is this person hot enough to use for my pleasure'#that is NOT a pleasant thing to have to work through in your head and I'm not surprised that a lot of fans are feeling personally shitty
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
The sweet, lovely poly 141 boys and their Spanish-speaking latine partner.
This was meant to be a quick little thing, but boy did this get away from me lmao. This is the fluffiest shit I've ever indulged in and I love it. Big thank you to @mikichko for inspiring and helping with this!!!
cw: poly 141, gn!reader, latine reader, mexican slang, hint of d/s dynamics in Johnny's word count: 2.1K
Price, god love the man, is the one who seems to stumble the most. It's almost comical, considering the fact that Spanish and Arabic are so similar due to their histories. But there's a big difference between the Spanish he's learned to recognize and what you throw at him on the daily. He truly thinks it's because of his age, window of acquisition and all that. John does not expect to be able to speak fluently with you, but he does at least want to understand you. What he really wants, though, is to make you feel more fully at home with him, and he is forever grateful that you feel comfortable and safe enough with them to embrace all parts of your identity.
"Hola, amor mío. How was your day?" you greet him from the couch, eyeing him from tip to toe and almost whistling at seeing him in uniform. "Sigues rechulo, mi güerito, so I assume all went well?"
John swings down to kiss you, gripping the back of your neck to prolongue the kiss, trying to soak in as much of the affection as he can while also disguising the fact that he still doesn't fully recognize what came after.
"Yours was good too, I trust?"
"Yeah, but my brother called. El güey still con sus pinches mamadas and asking for my help. Aguas, in case he shows up this week."
"I... will keep an eye out, dove."
"Call me si les arma pedo and I'm not around."
He just nods sagely and squishes up against you on the couch, letting your warmth seep into his tired bones.
Later that evening, he rounds up the boys while you're in the shower and pulls out a small notebook where he's written things out phonetically. John may not have all the knowledge he needs, but he sure as hell is good at getting it.
"'Güey,' that's the brother's nickname?"
"No, that's like 'man/guy.' But it's also an insult. But not always," Johnny supplies.
"Fuck me, okay. 'Rechulo' is... I got nothing for that one."
"The 're' is for heavy emphasis, 'chulo' is 'cute/handsome/pretty.' 'Re' can go on practically any adjective," Simon steps in.
"'Aguas' and 'pedo' CANNOT be what they are, right?"
Kyle takes his hand and chuckles, "No, sweetheart. The first is like a warning, the second a fight or scene or scandal. In this context."
John's shoulders finally relax and he lets out a heavy sigh, putting the final touches on his notes of the day.
"Thank you, boys, for your patience and your kindness. And your secrecy," John huffs a little laughter and gives them his sweetest smile, the one where you can see the dimples poking out through the beard.
They all reach over to gently caress him, taking turns kissing the parts of him they can reach.
"Thank you, John, for trying so hard."
~
Beautiful, wonderful Kyle, the delight of a man that he is, is the one giving it as good as he gets. He's the one crooning in your ear, showering you with the most decadent terms of endearment, knowing full well they make your knees much weaker in Spanish. He'll use the advantage every single chance he has, don't doubt that for a second. But truly, it's the soft seclusion of those moments that he cherishes most, when you're looking up at him with big bright eyes, knowing you fully trust him to take care of you.
You're grumbling away as you wash dishes after dinner when Kyle comes up behind you, arms making the way slowly around your waist, chin dropping onto your shoulder.
"Oh, tesoro mío, look at you working away, working so hard for us."
You refuse to look at him and give a fussy pout. He knows it's your least favorite of the house duties. So much so that you're always willing to do almost anything as long as you don't have to touch wet food.
"It looks like you've done enough, cariño. Come join us in bed."
"No. None of you wanted to trade with me so se aguantan," you try to wiggle and bump his head away from yours.
"Come on, cosa hermosa, we need you with us to settle for the night," he pulls your hands from the water, drying them and turning you towards him.
You immediately bury your face into his chest. Can't look him in the eye, he'll win you over the moment you do.
"So they send in the smooth talker, huh?"
Kyle laughs, clear and bright, and he wraps you back up in his arms, gently cradling your head until you give in and look up at him.
"Or," he says, making you both rock gently, "I'm trying to sneak in a little solo time."
Your body melts against his as the words sink in, big eyes blinking softly up at him, "Besito?"
"As many as you want, mi vida. Until you grow bored of me," and you're letting out a sweet sigh as those soft lips meet yours.
His hands move to bring your body closer to his, to milk this quiet moment for as much contact as possible, to sear it all into his memory.
"You two are awfully quiet out there," Simon calls from the bedroom and it makes you break apart with a little jump.
You hear frantic rustling that has to be Johnny, "Hold on, what happened to doing the dishes!"
A chuckle escapes the two of you, sparkling eyes meeting in the low light from the stove hood. The sound of John huffing to get comfortable floats in from the bedroom.
"Just a minute more, hermosura," he mutters against your hair. "Wanna stay here a bit longer."
"Really liking all those pet names, aren't you?"
Kyle laughs again and gives you a squeeze, "Mean every single one of them."
And you happily linger, not pointing out that you've noticed an endearing pattern of Kyle wrapping up nights in the kitchen with you in his arms and a faint love song echoing down the hall for you two to sway to.
~
Beloved, darling Simon, he hides his own understanding of the language. He understands it nearly perfectly, with just the tiniest margin of error, nothing too big to bring attention to it. Overall, he's able to catch almost everything you mumble. It's not to be sneaky or anything like that, Simon would never do anything to compromise your privacy. It's more that he doesn't quite see the need to verbalize it. To him it's nothing special, no need to make a spectacle. Instead, he lets it seep into his actions, ever the acts of service lover that he is.
You're spread out on the couch, on the phone with your mother, complaining, "Como chingan los del trabajo. Me pidieron un reporte para el viernes y ahora me reclaman que todavía no se los he dado y apenas es miércoles."
There was a tension in your shoulders when you came home from work, he didn't miss that. Caught you jolting to a stop mid-stretch. And as the call goes on longer, Simon picks up on more.
"No he tenido chance de lavar ropa, ni una putisima pijama... Traigo un pinche antojo de mole, pero es un chingo de trabajo y ahorita no le puedo dedicar el tiempo..."
He quietly moves to gather the boys as you continue ranting and pace around the room. You're too caught up in your call to see them forming a massive huddle and their nodding at Simon right as the break and throw their joined hands in the air.
By the time you're off the phone, it's dark out and you notice the house is quieter than usual. You move to look for the boys (they can't have left without telling you, right?) when Simon pops out from the hall, crooked smile you love so much adorning his face, and he simply takes your hand to pull you into the bathroom. A hot bath greets you, some honeyed bath bomb already dissolving in the water and your laptop set up on a bucket besides the bath, your comfort show already pulled up and ready to play. Simon then points to your softest pajamas washed and set out on the counter for you.
"And you'll help me with my lotion too?"
He kisses your forehead, "When do I not?"
"The boys?"
"Setting up dinner. Kyle and I are making your favorite."
You whip around to face him, eyes wide and excited, "With fresh tortillas?"
With a low, affirmative hum Simon pulls you in closer and just holds you. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't need to. But he lends you his strength, which is all he can really hope for. The steady beat of his heart and the warmth of his arms around you help release the tightness in your body. Letting out your own little hum, you give him a squeeze and he squeezes back harder, crushing you in the way he knows you find comforting. There's a soft devotion in his tenderness with you, an unshakable support in every single thing you do.
"So you gonna undress me too, or...?"
A peal of laughter escapes you as he playfully swats at your butt, "Undress yourself. I've got cooking to do."
A day without hearing your laughter is a day poorly spent to Simon.
He's almost to the door when you pull him back into you, hands tugging on his shirt to bring him down to your height. His own laughter rumbles in his chest as you cover his face in loud kisses, and he stays locked in place. He will for as long as you need him to, never mind his back. If it's gonna go out eventually, he'd rather it go out from his time spent like this.
~
Johnny, bless the boy, is desperate to hear it, to have you address him directly. You speak plenty around the house, on phone calls with friends, talking back at the tv (some shows have been put on temporary bans, or at the very least you're not supposed to watch them alone), at the lovely crooked cat yall adopted. You shower them with pet names with every breath you take. And he loves it all! Loves that you so willingly share so much of yourself with them. But Johnny boy is dying for something specific- "Love, why don't you call me papi?"
When he voices it, it's a complete surprise. Simon and Kyle both laugh so hard so suddenly that they find themselves choking on their own spit. Price himself is caught so off-guard that he fully looks up from the dinner he's prepping in the kitchen, raw chicken slipping out of his hands and plopping back into the flour bowl. You at first laugh it off lightly, thinking it was one of his cutesy jokes he makes to get a giggle out of everyone. That would have made the most sense, honestly. But when he looks away, big blue eyes shining with the softest hint of embarrassment, it sinks in.
You shift in your seat a fraction, "Johnny, I don't even call any of you that in English. You know it's not exactly the same thing, right?"
"I know but the little old lady from the corner shop calls me "papi" and so does the older man who brings the water and other people too and it's always so affectionate and so I thought..."
He spares a glance at you, hoping he hasn't completely overstepped.
"Where did this come from?"
"Ale let it slip last time we grabbed coffee and the joy on Rudy's face was so blinding that I thought maybe we should try it."
"Honey--"
"Please, just once."
"But I--"
"It doesn't have to be a title! It can be soft and casual, no expectations."
"You don't--"
"I promise I'll be good for it."
Oh.
Your gaze meets the other boys' and you all take a good look at your Johnny. At some point during his pleading he brought himself down to kneel in front of you. His broad shoulders are slumped forward in submission, his hands clenched together so tightly his fingertips are completely white. Price nods at you, the other two eagerly nodding along as well.
Leaning forward, you grab him by the jaw, gently bringing his head to rest against your thigh.
Running your fingers through his hair, you utter out a low, "Sweet little thing like you just wants to be good, don't you papi?"
Johnny's eyes glaze over slightly, a shy, dazed smile growing on his face. There's not an ounce of hesitation in him as he nuzzles his face into your thigh, just sweet elation. Pleased grumbles escape the others, making Johnny's smile grow bigger.
You make sure to add it into your regular circulation.
#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#poly 141 x latine reader#cod x reader#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#johnny soap mactavish#captain john price#ghost x reader#gaz x reader#soap x reader#price x reader#i cannot emphasize the poly of this enough#this is truly some of the most self indulgent shit i've ever written and i've never been happier lmao#honestly this is just precious moments with each of them#i'm definitely going to be writing more 141 x latine reader#prepare to be fucking sick of me#frfr tho this is the first long thing i've written in years and ngl it feels good to be doing it again#also yeah i tend to sprinkle in commas like they're condiments
357 notes
·
View notes
Text
always enjoyed the Chess Set In The Foreground perspective framing used here
now also noting like, huh, a chess set in a general store just visited by marigold competitors who killed one of their guys and are now on the way back from their rendezvous point w/suppliers
#and now to take a big sip of ''nothing suggests lackadaisy ft. people stuck / things repeating / death begetting death''#not like i suppose we're going to be hit with ''& then mordecai and viktor sat down at the defiance field office for every passing gangster#played chess and then went and properly slaughtered the lackadaisy crew and arbogasts at the funeral home / barn w/car-sized holes''#good reminder though that Viktor Is Now Active....left off with elsa managing to give him a phonecall; for good measure#lackadaisy#i have no lengthy Mitzi Mordecai Murder Mystery Musings posts for today (b/c not enough fresh musing insights) but no prommies#epiphanies are on their own schedule#quite the chess piece arrangement seen there too lol. can't tell if there's any Classic Configuration in the game b/w viktor & mordecai#not a chesshead and never was lol strategy games??? who's that#or i'll play them but not strategically. invented Flick Chess for indoor recess in elementary school#you flick a piece across the board and whatever you knock off the board = you took those pieces lmfao#though not like that has Zero strategy. thinking of my day enjoying tiddlywinks research#imagine my delight revisiting all this material like oh yeah the little pic of freckle tiddlywinking#let's squop; boys#i'm also supposing that chess sets? checkers sets? and etc. would be common general store features; like phone usage....real general....#but like; what; are we expecting this Not to bring a response from marigold lol#got the nervous twitch but they're like ''ah it's fine. cost of doing business''
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Very interesting how in the duga ending Perseus is genuinely delighted that you're still alive and welcomes you back as his comrade with open arms and he's supposed to be the bad guy whereas the "good guys" of the game make it very clear in their treatment of you that they do not think of you as a person let alone their friend.
#Woods and Mason are perhaps the only innocent ones on the “good” side and thats ONLY if they didn't know#They still aren't good people though by virtue of being CIA though#whatever protestations Park Sims and Lazar may have had it wasn't enough#Duga ending 4 lyfe#fuck the west i'm going to side with the people who see me as their equal not their dog#The only downside of the Duga ending is Bell being hard wired to want Adler/Parks approval and now having to go on knowing they will never#be able to attain it#both because of their “betrayal” and because it was never trult possible for them to get the approval and relationship of comradery#that they wanted#its like any other relationship with an abuse authority figure that is out of your life now#the desire for their approval and what you could have done differently to get it never goes away#cod cw#cod cold war#black ops cold war#black ops cw#call of duty black ops cold war
64 notes
·
View notes