#I'm happy about it! I do enjoy writing :)
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370 words of dracopia yearning.
he first sees you in a rainstorm, glowing against the muted blues and greys, drenched and laughing as you hurry across the abbey’s stone paths. he stays in the shadows, of course, shielded in a small alley between buildings. watching. caught in the simplicity of your joy. the way your smile never falters as you run for cover, and how you clutch your veil tightly over your head, yet tilt your face to the rain.
he memorises your routines and lingers in the places where you find solace—a small alcove by the chapel where you go to read on warm days, the herb garden you tend to some mornings. he notes the way you hum joyfully to yourself as you run your fingers over the lavender and sage. he's fascinated by your rituals; by the way you're so in tune with the earth, and before he knows it, he’s following you to the next sacred space. he tells himself it’s curiosity, nothing more, but he’s not sure he even believes himself.
he leaves tokens and small signs of his presence—a lavender sprig left on your windowsill, a page in your book turned back to a favourite line—and finds himself quietly hoping that you’ll notice. that perhaps some part of you already knows he’s there.
in the evenings, he listens to your footsteps echo along the abbey halls. he feels their rhythm in his still chest and imagines your warmth spreading through it—a pulse that doesn't belong to him but still feels familiar. he hears you before he sees you, humming that same spritely tune as you move closer.
one night, when the storm comes again, you linger by the window and watch the rain trace its path down the glass. he stands somewhere unseen, hidden by the darkened sky. a shadow watching the sun. he wonders what it would be like to reach for you, to pull you into his arms, and to feel the undeniable thrum of your lifeblood against him.
but he doesn’t step forward; he doesn’t dare. instead, he becomes part of the night that surrounds you, and lingers in the strange, impossible hope that somehow you might sense him there, waiting just beyond the light.
#dracopia#the band ghost#thinking about him#trying to write more and get to a place where i'm happy enough with it (read: not crippled with anxiety) to share it#i don't really know what it looks like for me but i do know that i enjoy it. and also it is hard.#been finding it difficult to concentrate on really anything recently tbh but i don't want to stay in a grief slump forever#so what better way to get out of it than *checks notes* yearning vampire. got it.#writing
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I’m overwhelmed...with gratitude
#ava silva#avatrice#warrior nun#avatriceedit#warriornunedit#avasilvaedit#alba baptista#this girl owns my whole heart#when people ask me like...how i make so much content#it's because of her#like i just want to make stuff about her#tell stories with her#do edits#enjoy alba's incredible performance as her#i'm in so deep and perfectly content#this scene is hard for me to watch#seeing how happy she is to be alive and be loved#knowing that deep down she undrestands that it's probably not going to last much longer#her writing the letter to beatrice#wanting to tell her that she's made being alive so magical#so special#that she loves her#that being loved by her was an even greater gift than the halo that brought her back to life#she came so far#and when she comes back she's going to do so much#with bea and her ocs family at her side#so thankful for ava#myedits
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Can y'all just be you know normal Marina Thompson for like 5 seconds? Because christ, the sheer Misogynoir that some of you spread about her character is insane and you don't even realise it.
#marina thompson#bridgerton netflix#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton#amanda & oliver are her babies#she's not a surrogate she's their mother#can y'all not root so loudly for her to literally kill herself so discount mr rochester can get with eloise#& so that Eloise will lose her personality and end up in a relationship that is her literal nightmare scenario#i see people wanting eloise to end the season writing to discount mr rochester because the pen lw reveal will probably impact marina#and quote unquote be what pushes her to the edge#and that is beyond vile#of course marina will have a reaction she has every right to but to actively want her to harm herself#so that discount mr rochester can be reinserted into the plot? fuck no that's absolutely vile#if you are going to write about a character struggling with mental health issues do so respectfully or don't do it all#because you'll do far more harm otherwise#if Eloise does write to anyone i hope its to Marina#i don't think we'll see marina again but i want her alive and happy off screen#my heart is still rooting for theo & Eloise but I'm enjoying Cressida & Eloise atm#but so long as her endgame is a happy one that she deserves and not discount mr rochester I'll be happy#ruby barker#<- she deserves the absolute world
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we're already wet (and we're gonna go swimming)
Luke fucking hates My Tie.
or, a back-door luke hughes character study
#HAPPY HUGHESBOWL EVERYONE#she's finally here and she's PERFECT god i hope you all enjoy her#a little light 70k pre-game reading for you#this is my baby i'm so proud of her please love her as much as i do#let me know too if i missed a tag you think should be there or a pairing or whatever!#always open to talking about her#i think she's really the first in a line of things to come :)))#luke hughes#brandt clarke#brandt/luke#my fic#writing#hrpf#hockey rpf#my tie fic#scheduled#ok logging off now cause i'm tired and also cause it'll make me nervous thinking about what people have to say about her
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Late to the game as I’ve kinda been kinda non-here for a minute but I scrolled through the Dot and Bubble tag, and thought I wanted to write this post into existence.
There's this part in Doctor Who Unleashed where RTD says this:
“What we can’t tell is how many people will have worked that out before the ending. Because they’ve seen white person after white person after white person, and television these days is very diverse. I wonder, will you be ten minutes into it, will you be fifteen, will you be twenty, before you start to think, everyone in this community is white. And if you don’t think that — why didn’t you? So, that’s gonna be interesting. I hope it’s one of those pieces of television you see, and always remember.”
And I'm like. Yeah. But the reason this works even as well as it does is largely thanks to the work of the previous showrunner with the previous creative team, which was notably the first era to have any writers of color (amongst other firsts in terms of inclusivity in directors, composer, actors). While Chibnall fumbled whenever he tried to write about race himself, he did have the self-awareness to have Black and South Asian writers writing the episodes where race is the focus (and a female writer for the episode where sexism is a focus; my point is, he seemed to know his shortcomings).
I wonder what the current creative team looks like? (not really, but I wasn't 100% sure for all of them)
To quote RTD:
“...before you start to think, everyone in this community is white.”
This is pretty non-self-aware, right? It's pretty “It is said, and I understand this, there was a history of racism with the original Toymaker, the Celestial Toymaker, who had ‘celestial,’ and I did not know this, but ‘celestial’ can mean of Chinese origin, but in a derogatory way,” right? (from The Giggle Unleashed) It's pretty “and I had problems with that, and a lot of us on the production team had problems with that: associating disability with evil,” right? (from Destination Skaro Unleashed)
—none of which are issues that should be overlooked, but think how much exponentially better they might’ve been addressed if he’d consulted with Chinese writers and wheelchair-using writers before going straight to giving the Toymaker weird fake accents and making Davros walk?
How many Black or non-white people do we think saw the Dot and Bubble script before it landed in Ncuti’s hands?
And this just keeps happening.
And like, from some of the shocked responses I've seen from white viewers to the ending of Dot and Bubble, maybe the episode's unsubtlety was needed? From the way RTD talks about it in Unleashed, the episode was written with a white audience in mind, Baby's First Microaggressions (where of course the microaggressions come from people who are pretty self-admittedly white supremacists). Ricky September, a more seemingly normal depiction of someone in the racist bubble of Finetime, seemed like an interesting element, up until the way he died.
The ending worked for me, because I do think the Doctor's reaction is true to how the Doctor would react. I just keep thinking of how much better the core themes could've been handled by someone with actual lived experience on the subject matter.
#dot and bubble#fifteenth doctor#rtd critical#anti rtd#ricky september#lindy pepper bean#dw negativity#racism#antiblackness#words by seaweed#not to be anti rtd. im just very critical. Anti RTD is just a tag which people use or block#every showrunner has their flaws but RTD is the only one self-righteously virtu signling over NOTHING. which is why im more critical.#plus the on-set sxual hrassment and what happened with Chris Eccleston etc. it vindicates me. idk. not tryna be a hater#ALSO dot and bubble is leaps and bounds better than any racism commentary I expected from Russell T Davies. so theres that.#can you tell I'm shy abt making long posts that someone is likely gonna be not happy about-#I usually search tumblr for posts to rb and talk in tags. but I couldnt find any posts about this this morning! tho I think ppl have since#etc its fine to critically appreciate imperfect media etc I do it all the time (as a Black fan) (who also thinks Rosa has Flaws) etc#I did see someone on twitter pointing out the hypocrisy of all white writers but twitter does not have space to talk about things#also love that The Church on Ruby Road has Mark Tonderai who became the first black director w The Ghost Monument. I love his directing#but that's the Christmas special. it is not part of this season. and honestly fr it's not close to enough#love the inclusivity in front of the camera. lets get some of that in the writing team NOW. it's hurting for it.#bring back Charlene James. can you hear me? was the best episode of Season 12.#the ep felt like a commentary on the “RIP Doctor Who” ppl under every official Doctor Who post? hence social media?#it does work best that way!! it just felt a little off of that way in rtd talking#idk im rambling. I did enjoy it tho. I just wish. but well.
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Please infodump about the JayTimSteph Grotesquerie AU WIP if possible.
OF COURSE i've been thinking about it since i saw the trailer and now it's a little brainworm. (disclaimer i've not watched the first two episodes yet, this is like. solely on the vibes of the trailer. some details might change once i. watch the show depending on if i follow it or just go with the vibes the trailer gave me. which also means there will be no spoilers for the show if you care about that.)
the current idea involves Detective!Tim, Nun!Steph, and Priest!Jason. the vague idea for the plot so far is that a serial killer leaves a *very* artful display of a crime scene inside of the church that Jason and Steph operate out of. Tim is assigned as the leading detective on the case and ends up in a relationship with the both of them as he spirals in madness trying to catch the killer.
for Steph, i want to explore the idea of her father, Cluemaster, being a *very* prolific and artful serial killer who's whole gimmick was sending clues to the police until he was caught when Steph was still a child, and her and her mother were forced to go into witness protection for their own safety, which led her down the path of becoming a nun. it was a defining childhood moment for her to walk in on one of her father's crimes, so when she's the one who finds the crime scene in the church, it *immediately* sends her back to her childhood and she's caught between PTSD-fueled horror and a sick, enticing fascination. she wanted to become a journalist before going into WITSEC but that career was basically all but ruined for her. now she runs the small newspaper for the church and is desperate to write on the first "real" story she's ever had, dragging her into an intense obsession over the crime and trying to prove she can solve it.
for Jason, i want to deal with his history as Bruce. the current idea is that Bruce is Tim's police chief who adopted Jason and Dick from a young-ish age and raised them to be detectives, taking them to crime scenes as teenagers and teaching them the ins and outs of how criminals think. it leads to Dick becoming a detective, but when taking them to crime scenes led to Jason being kidnapped and brutally tortured by "Jack Napier", almost dying. Dick kills Napier to save Jason and it fractures their little family so badly that Dick switches departments to another city and Jason runs away at 17, eventually happening upon joining the clergy. he's the new, young priest in the church who's known for being very pretty but very emotionally distant even if he's nice enough. and he's *pissed* that Bruce is in his church investigating a murder and that no matter where Jason goes, he can't seem to get away from the horrors.
and for Tim, he's the young new detective in his department who is *entirely* unaware that he's been taken under Bruce's wing bc Bruce is treating him as a surrogate replacement for Dick and Jason. haven't fully decided his backstory yet, but it'll likely be similar to canon with losing his mother and father. i kind of want him to be lost and lacking a sense of direction. very gifted in noticing patterns and detective work, but it's clear he doesn't *really* want this job. and when he's assigned as the lead on a case that feels *way* too big for his experience bc Bruce is showing clear favoritism, he's forced to go to Steph for help, which leads to Jason ending up wrapped up with them too.
despite how heavy the plot *sounds*, i honestly want this fic to be like. 40% porn. like the show i want to explore a lot of fucked up sexual interests in Jason who's punishing himself for it, Steph being too interested in things for her own good and desperate for a taste of what "real life" feels like, and Tim just being incredibly repressed. like i want the line between horror and erotic to feel like a jumprope. lots of fucked up sex balanced with like. them actually trying to catch the killer. and then of course the emotional aspect of how Jason's baggage with Bruce works into all of it. also want Tim to have a mild hero worship for "the great Detective Dick Grayson" while being clueless that he's Bruce's son and Jason's brother. i sort of want it to be Steph-centric, but still have POVs from Tim and Jason just to round out their emotional arcs. i haven't fully decided everyone else who'll be in the fic but i know i want Cass to be a fellow nun and friend of Steph's, Babs to also work at the church, Helena to be Tim's favorite coworker, and possibly for Damian to be around somehow. those roles will probably get more fleshed out when i. watch the damn show tho.
anyway TLDR: religious imagery, body horror, kinky sex, and a mystery that might break everyone psychologically once they get to the bottom of it. i have some very specific scenes and dialogue planned out. probably cannibalism as a metaphor for love thrown in there too. idk i just want these three to be as fucked up as possible and unhinged about each other but fighting their repressed side with their unhinged feral side. and since it doesn't exist by god I'll create it.
#necrotic answerings#necrotic works in progress#jaytimsteph grotesquerie au#<- temp tag until this fic gets a real name#jaytimsteph#when i shared this idea with my partner they were like. this should just be an original book#and yeah they're right but given it's derrivative of a show i don't think it *can* be. ergo. fanfic.#and i'm *already* writing one fucked up romance book with serial killers and a nun okay i've hit my quota.#but tysm for asking about this anon i was so excited to talk about it.#also! one scene idea i have in my head involves the three of them getting attacked#and jason killing the attacker with tim's firearm. which tim basically snatches from him and takes the blame for the kill#and even tho he's in the clear legally bruce sitll forces him to do a psyche eval that he hates.#and meanwhile jason asks tim to “punish him” not bc he killed the guy but bc he *enjoyed* it.#very fun scene for like. the descent into madness of the three of them getting more and more unhinged trying to solve this case.#like how far are they willing to go type shit#also i have a *lot* of sex scenes planned.#don't ask me who the killer is i haven't decided yet#i'm leaning on it being someone connected to tim tho#just to flesh out his backstory more. so we'll see#anyway i'mso happy to ramble about this fic idea to anyone who wants to ask more about it bc it'll help me develop it more#i've got the basics down but i'm an outline girlie at heart so i need evertrhing planned out for it to work yk.#this is my petition to make more ppl care about jaytimsteph. they're so cool i swear.
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been trying out a new writing technique recently and it's called chilling tf out and reminding myself that fic is written for fun.
#making a little joke but also being genuinely serious#with my merwaincelot wip i've embraced having little overviews in brackets for what i want to happen#but idk how to write it just yet#if i'm feeling stuck or bored#and if i'm getting tired or the idea of writing an ending is getting overwhelming then i just call it a day and do something else#and yeah it's taking longer to write things (perhaps gone are the days when i wrote and posted a fic in the same night)#but it's working wonders with my brain#and it's amazing how as soon as i relax i get hit with several new ideas#just trying to adjust my thinking in that projects over a long period of time are not something to worry about#like i'm also planning a knitting project that i'll be doing well into september#(mainly bc yarn is expensive and my needs are hella specific)#but that's okay!#not everything has to be done and dusted immediately!#i'm glad i took a break from writing and i think it did do me good but damn i'm happy to be back#and enjoy still learning how to get even more out of my hobby#but anyway i'm just feeling a lil proud of myself today so#lit talks#personal
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Well ladies (gn), it might have been unexpected but funemployment isn't starting off too bad.
#I was fired! Truly unexpected and truly proof that April is not my month!#(the break-up was last April)#anyway i was not passionate about investing which is true but also stupid because they were happy with my work#they kept telling me they knew I'd be spectacular at any job I wanted but they could tell i didnt really want this one#which is vaguely true but like i enjoyed it enough. i probably would have left in about a year but#for once! i would like a few months! where do i not have to make a life changing decision!!!#I'd like to just live for a bit!!#so I'm home now going to travel going to italy going to read and write and we'll see#s narrates her life#truly April 23-24 has been like... Blow up your life 2k19 HARD MODE#and more like have your life blown up really#c'est la vie#they're paying me for six months so I cant actually complain complain#it's the sabbatical i wanted but better because im being paif#paid*#but worse because im unemployed haha
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hey
#so i've been dealing with some irl stuff recently#nothing too bad. it was just really frustrating and exhausting for me. and really putting a damper on my mood and my art#and i'm sorry if i've been acting a little weird or not saying too much or anything#or if i've been kinda inactive for the past few days#but i'll be okay!#i just wanted to let you guys know what's been kinda going on#i'm slowly working on something really sweet involving Hugo and Noa. so that's been making me feel better#i need something happy and soft between them lol#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!#the writing is kinda stupid and almost all of the characters act like they don't have a brain. but that's what makes it so fun!#and i'm pretty sure the devs did that intentionally. to make it seem more like a campy monster flick#i'm really enjoying it so far! the werewolves are really cool!#also it's really funny to me how they just pop like balloons whenever they're transforming#i thought it was gonna be a slow transformation. but no. their skin just immediately explodes off#and then they somehow get it all back when they turn back into humans? idk how that works but it's pretty rad#also also! the thing with the tarot cards is really cool!#i missed a lot in the beginning because i didn't know what i was looking for#and the fortune teller lady in between chapters kept getting mad at me for not finding any#but i eventually started to get it! when the game decided to really put one in my face in chapter 3 lol#and the thing with the tarot cards representing the different characters in the game got me thinking about what card Noa would probably be#i think Seven of Swords would be right up her alley#because it's associated with deception. dishonesty. betrayal. and acting strategically#and it could also signify self-deception and confessions. which is all very true for her character#aaahh now i wanna make a tarot card design for her!#but that's an idea for another day#anyway sorry for sorta rambling a bit#i hope you all are doing okay
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hai!!!!
i know you've already confirmed doing minor what ifs, but have you ever planned or thought of doing a longer one for a happy ending?
(im sorry for asking but these two make me mentally ill in the best way posible. )
The what ifs will be pretty well sized so hopefully they'll scratch the itch for y'all. My goal with the ending is also to make it kind of optimistic to empower other folks who want to write fanfic to give it a shot and make their own content too. I just love the idea of being able to make a positive impact with this story and to embolden others to let their own creativity run free. Plus I'd be cheering if there was a list of "works inspired by" that could sit at the end of the story when it's finished. That way the story (that a lot of people seem to really dig) can live on in everyone's interpretations of it!
#I'm happy just to put my own interpretation out there and im extra happy that ppl like it#but in the ever growing world of Billford i want my interpretation to be just one of many#im so excited to see everyone make their own nuanced take on the pairing#and while i can see ppl are enjoying the fic its never meant to be any authority on how folks look at the pairing#its just one lens through which it gets examined#i am super keen to read other billford fics when this fic is done too#as i have abstained from reading other fics since someone got it into their head to accuse me of plagiarism#i know how serious plagiarism is and i debunked the claims it was probably just a younger author being possessive of the characters#and jealous of the attention being drawn away from their story when my fic was starting up#but the whole accusation really jarred me so i haven't read any other billford while writing my fic#i am so excited to get to pour through the other stories in the tag when this fic is done#you have no idea how exciting the prospect is#and since the what ifs will all be contained within my fics universe i should be fine to start reading fics once kmky finishes#i am so keen to see what other people have written so best believe I'll be asking for fic recs haha#but if other people write stuff inspired by the fic i will be there cheering you on!!#kind of a long ramble in the tags but im just so excited about the prospect of ppl writing their own stuff#this is blanket permission for anyone whos read the fic and wanted to write something for it btw#and pls link it on ao3 if you do so i can show it to everyone!!
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Hi, I kind of have a question, Adam said that can't walk in the sun when doesn't drink blood, but what exactly happens? Do vampires just burn immediately, begin to be more sensitive to sunburn or is it another kind of thing?
so, in time and time again I really wanted blood to be something of a medicinal need for vampires. it's not a 1:1 metaphor of course, please don't try to think of it that way, but it's how I conceptualize it.
He needs blood to go in the sun, to heal, to "be something of a human again" and it also grants him the ability to time travel, shapeshift, compel others...
Without blood, he can't do these things. So, to be honest, without blood vampires would just... die. They can't exist without it. being in the sun uses blood, its dangerous. it wears you down. it makes you weaker. it can kill you!
I realize this ends up making my vampires feel weak, but... it's a metaphor for chronic illness. They have limited energy and if they do not take the time and the 'medications' they need to recover, they'll become weak or die. They have to manage their limited energy.
there's extreme privilege for vampires who have steady access to blood, like Adam does. His access to blood lets him time travel, transform, go in the sun constantly, etc. Vampires without as much access have to become nocturnal, they get stuck in one place, they have to be careful because even a small cut can cost precious resources...
A desperate vampire might end up hurting someone for what they need. a vampire with people who are willing to help them can get by, or even thrive. a vampire with none of these will die.
I know it's not the most satisfying answer, but it is my answer! My experiences being chronically ill are very much at play here.
#I dont want people to think too much about it as a metaphor for chronic illness#cause. OBVIOUSLY 'monster who kills people' is kind of loade#but as you can tell in my writing I'm sort of doing my own kinds of vampires#idk. I think within the confines of my story it's a metaphor I'm comfortable with people reading#but within the broad scope of vampires as a concept not so much#I mean even within the confines of my story I think that it has severe limitations as a metaphor#just. yknow it is the internal logic I'm using and the intent I have#asks#anon#also you dont have to start all your asks with 'hi i sort of have a question'#its okay to just ask me things#pretty sure these are all coming from the same person and I'm pretty sure I know who#not to freak you out just#its a tell haha#its ok to just ask me things I promise#I enjoy talking about my work#I'm happy to get the questions
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i have thoughts about your most recent fic and tumblr’s comment character limit has brought me to your ask box again 🙈
omgggg it’s so good to know sylus’s POV during that wine night!! and i don’t know why and how, but sylus’s thoughts about mc here, esp how he feels about her selfless tendencies (to her detriment), makes me feel vulnerable and seen. when i read reader-insert fics, i tend to imagine a separate character for mc even though it’s technically supposed to be me in my head. perhaps the character i made up resembles me (but better lmao), but different enough that she’s like an individual on her own. but when i read this fic, it’s like sylus was talking about me, as in the real me, which made me emotional. it could be that the way mc handles herself poorly in here resonates with me due to some irl stuff, but honestly it’s primarily how good you write about a character’s emotions and thoughts. it’s like the words reached across my screen and tugged at my heart. you’re such a great writer when it comes to expressing a character’s innermost thoughts. it’s like i’ve been placed inside a character’s mind to bare witness their raw self.
again, i love how your sylus x mc dynamics, at least for this series, revolve around an mc oblivious to how much sylus cares about her. it seems she doesn’t even believe she’s deserving of such affection, nor is she fitting to be the object of such primal desires. in a way, she’s kind of self-sabotaging in the sense that she thinks she doesn’t deserve kindness, help, and affection. she’s genuinely fine with taking the brunt of the pain and suffering – and not even in the hero, martyr kind of way. it seems it’s how she’s always been, such behavioral tendencies of hers seem to be as normal as the sky is blue, which is sad and concerning because she deserves so much. i’m honestly excited to see sylus try to knock down her hardened walls and have her realize how deserving she is of so many things. i hope she realizes she can relax, rest, take it easy, and feel safe. especially with him.
i actually laughed out loud about how unhinged sylus can be about his sexual desires for her. like the man is blue-balled to heck, but he isn’t the kind to succumb to his base urges. he really respects and loves mc. i think i would even say he reveres her, given the fan theories around their past. it’s like his urges are just something that come with his intense adoration and care for mc, which is so so admirable and attractive.
maybe i’m just a tad sensitive today, but i completely zeroed in on the emotional aspects of this fic – quite a difference as to how i salivated over your previous fic in your ask box LMAO. coincidence is such a funny thing because i feel like i really needed to read this fic today. i feel much better and more ready to face the day. this has been such a good read, and i humbly offer my apologies for yapping at your ask box yet again 🧎♀️🫣
First off, you never have to apologize for sending me your thoughts. I'm so happy every time I receive an ask, it's always an unexpected surprise. And your asks are always really thoughtful and fun to read! I wasn't just patronizing you when I said last time that it was really fun to receive such a spicy ask about the NSFW aspects of Sylus's character and dynamic with mc in these stories. A huge part of his appeal is his physicality and how he shows his affection through actions. Hot, hot, actions.
To be honest, this message from you is really reassuring, because I've noticed that a lot of the fanfic that gets a lot of traction in (any) fandom is of the NSFW variety (which, duh, I totally understand and appreciate and consume happily), and I worry that because I'm not currently focusing purely on that aspect of Sylus that people will be less interested in reading what I'm sharing, especially the installments that are so mc POV heavy. So to hear that you also like being in this mc's head, and can relate to this mc, that how I have Sylus respond to this mc's issues and hangups and trauma brings you comfort, is amazing for me as a wannabe writer. Although I also want to give you a hug (with your consent of course) if you can really relate to this mc because no one should ever have to feel what you so accurately point out about what this mc feels: that whatever pain you're experiencing is normal, and expected, and you can hardly imagine that someone would be so dedicated to helping relieve it for and with you. Because everyone deserves to feel cherished and demand more than the bare minimum from the world and the people in their life. I'm hoping that I can keep writing this story as an exploration of Sylus teaching mc that, and that you continue to derive comfort from it. Because in the end, fanfic can serve many purposes. And just like it can be a vehicle for exploring incredibly dark and disturbing and cathartic themes using our favorite characters, I think it can also be the ultimate comfort food, and sometimes you should just be able to feel fucking good reading it. I'm so happy to hear that this part did that for you. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.
#love and deepspace#sara answers#seriously if you can't tell by now#that i look forward to hearing responses like yours like sylus looks forward to hearing mc enjoy food#then i'm just going to have to step up my game and scream over and over that i love hearing your and other readers' thoughts#my ask box is always open#and clearly i am an insufferable pedantic shit who is happy to listen to other people and then dump my thoughts on them to the point that#they probably regret reaching out to me :)))))#thank you again for reading and for sharing your thoughts!!#also so glad the worshipful devotion i think that sylus harbors toward mc came through#i do think that his feral horniness is deeply linked to how much he cares about and is devoted to mc and i want that to be obvious#in the fic#dude this 140 character limit IS annoying af#oh and if you like being in mc's head#the next part of the story is mc's POV and it ran on for so much longer than intended#i had hoped to resolve the misunderstanding in the next part#but the resolution will be in the part after that and hopefully in a way that doesn't break romantic tension#i'm done writing a novel#mmmkay bye
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Whoopsie time
#vent tw#cw vent#I'm stupid to have dropped out of college#now I don't know what I'm doing and I can't do the very passion I set out to do#Animation was my dream and I ruined it for a guy who groomed me and ended up physically abusing me.#I didn't realize trying to animate and failing because I don't understand it no matter what I look up about it would result in a breakdown#Not to mention I'm regressing in my art skill right now.#My art is ASS right now no matter how hard I try to improve it#references... Practice... Doodles... Warmups you name it#nothing is going right and I have the urge to quit art altogether#I'm not going to and I can't bring myself to ever do that but It's aching inside me#I want my art to be good according to me. not others. People can say it's great but if I don't like it... I'm not going to settle for it#I shouldn't have left#I loved college#I loved SELU#I loved my life back then#And now I'm here. And I'm not happy anymore.#Even with writing. I even took a long break from writing and I still can't do it right according to myself.#Now I have no muse or motivation for any of it#I feel empty. And I can't go to therapy because I can't afford the balance on my account.#I just feel like I failed.#I feel like I failed my parents and myself. They always tell me theyre so proud of me but I don't understand how they can be.#Not when I ended up in two severely abusive relationships... Dropped out of college twice... And now work in a factory full time.#Yeah i make decent money in a place I enjoy but it all just feels empty.#I could've been more#i could've done better#[[out of ammo]];; ooc
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i wish there was a space for actual adults within this fandom. i guess i will have to create it, even if it's just me and other five people and a shoelace. i wonder how this whole thing is gonna develop!
#personal#the entire internet but also this fandom specifically is infested with ppl whose reading comprehension is lower than a 6th grader's#can't a gal enjoy a middle-aged actress without being pestered by toddlers with pitchforks#and i know i'm the pettiest bitch but i am ANNOYED esp when i see how old these ppl are. if you're over 25 you have no excuse daskjfhg#like i have cut my audience in half at least! if not more with this fic#but i'm happy bc i'm producing content i wanna produce#i wonder how my new fics are gonna be received#after i finish “particular” i have another thing coming up that ppl probs won't like lol#but i think it's important i post it#and then we have murder mysteries and gothic horror and wooooo you know#it's gonna be fun! and a bit disturbing!#wonder if imma be dragged on twitter again lol#but i sincerely hope no one will care lol#honestly i never expected ppl to care THAT much but i guess they did#it also annoys me that a concerningly small amount seems to care abt the actual quality of writing#and i'm over here agonising about Stylistic Choices(TM) lol#i feel like it flies over ppl's heads and they just wanna read abt larissa weems fucking them with a shapeshifted dick#which okay i guess but also what abt Literature#you could do smth creative with a shapeshifting character just saying. and include your magic cocks or whatever tf you're into#ah i am fuming in vain i will just write my lil fics and hope i don't get a new influx of kys messages lol
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Greetings, human! ♥ (Patreon)
#My art#SCII#ZEX#The Captain#A warmup that I took a little longer with - pacing myself?? Could be#I wanted to work on the daily more at the time but ah I had a good fun with this one ♪#Even if it was one I failed to record hhhhuah#Oh well - next time lol#Mostly inspired by accidentally starting a new fic with these two heck#Yeah on top of the recent DAX ideas coming in my brain decided to prank me with Yet More inspiration lol#I'm happy about it! I do enjoy writing :)#But it's also Extremely self-indulgent so fjdslkafjd while I'm having fun it's also like Oh No I'm Having Too Much Fun With This lol#Not such a bad thing every once in a while ♪#They're just so cute hehe#Been having a lot of fun with this sizing of chibis lately - small sketches then upsized to ~about where I'd want them on-screen#Maybe a bit small still but that's not that strange lol#I really want to hit whichever library near here has a Cricut I must learn how these machines function and how much they charge#I mean if I can just make bookmarks at home what might the library be able to offer me hehehe ♪#Anyway
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I don't understand why people seem to dislike "Girl Dinner" and "Girl Math" so much.
Like, it's not about girls being unable to take care of themselves or make smart financial decisions. Girl Math is literally just about how under the capitalism small purchases that add up to a large number don't feel as expensive as one large purchase. It's the same phenomenon as being willing to pay $10 for a product but not $8 + $2 shipping. Or spending cash feeling different from spending on a credit card.
Or like why a bunch of people just started talking about how being a bimbo is just quirky sexism.
Yes, women can achieve great things, and they can be smart. We all support women's rights. But we gotta support women's wrongs as well.
After being told that you have to be smart and strong and do everything a man can do or you're a bad feminist and you're setting the movement back fifty years, the ability to just be dumb and carefree feels like taking off a bra.
Yes, women can be smart. But they can be dumb too. We can be weak and dumb and that doesn't make us "bad feminists" or "quirky sexists". It makes us human. And shaming women for their freedom to enjoy their life however they want is counterproductive. Men get to be as dumb as they want without shame, so why is it that when women are the ones who are dumb, you get offended and try to shame them into acting the way you want them to?
We can't have equality until you guys stop shaming women for every little thing they do. We can't have equality if we don't support women's wrongs.
#yes this is about that one post#I'm sick and tired of everyone acting like not knowing how to change a tire as a woman is “bad feminism”#Like if you can't understand complex historical concepts and code and do mental algebra and speak a dozen languages and lift your weight#then you're setting back the movement??#I'm just generally sick of people saying that the expectations placed on women by society is unfair and then turning around#and making women feel bad for not being exceptional#I don't have to get 3 degrees and a doctorate and also lift cars in my free time#Everyday I understand Marina's lyrics better#You want me to write a feminist anthem? I'm happy cooking dinner in the kitchen for my husband#that lyric used to make me so angry but now I understand#Enjoying something or not being able to do something doesn't make you lesser#And you don't have to feel guilty for enjoying things#girl dinner#girl math#Some of you need to listen to Gloria's speech again and it shows
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