#amanda & oliver are her babies

[hamletshoeratio]

Can y'all just be you know normal Marina Thompson for like 5 seconds? Because christ, the sheer Misogynoir that some of you spread about her character is insane and you don't even realise it.

[caffernnn]

Thanks for the tag @sage-nebula !! Been a minute since I’ve done one of these ✨

Last song: “Not Sorry For Loving You” from EPIC: The Vengeance Saga. Probably my favorite from the most recent saga — loooove Calypso’s voice

Fave color: greeeeeen! I’ve probably tried to pin it down more specifically in the past, but the shade of green fluctuates tbh. Olive green, forest green, sage green, seafoam green, emerald green, jewel-toned phthalo green… all of them live in my heart tbh. (aaand I’m just a sucker for cool colors in general lmao)

Last book: I’m finally getting back to a place where I feel like I could try reading again!! Last book I started was Cultish by Amanda Montell, and I have a lot of other promising reads I checked out on a rare feel-good day and haven’t cracked open yet (which might be overdue; they’ll return home soon 💀)

Last movie: When Marnie Was There! My brother and I have been trying to catch up by watching some Studio Ghibli movies from time-to-time (hadn’t heard of any outside of Ponyo until I was out of high school… OOPS—), and Marnie was next on our list. Looots of big feelings about that story.

Last tv show: main things I’m (mostly) keeping up with tv-wise are DanDaDan and NCIS: Origins. I’m thiiiinking about starting Moriarty the Patriot, and everyone’s praise for Arcane has me curious 👀

Sweet/savory/spicy: heavy on the savory tbh. There’s appreciation for the sweet and spicy forsure, but savory is at the top for me currently!!

Relationship status: friendship is magic NEXT QUESTION

Last thing I searched: I can’t lie, that poll I reblogged about soup had me looking up Italian wedding and pumpkin soup recipes. Tumblr is makin me HONGRY

Current obsession: LMM frEakin bit me again; Warriors (2024) has been stuuuuck in my head and on repeat for days. Those are my giiiirls. So many fun genres to explore in a musical! Outside of that and the usual suspects (bears, the swimmies, etc), I’d probably have to say Pokémon TCGP and Pokémon Sleep. I still need to pull my beloved Snorlax and Venusaur on TCGP (or some worthwhile dark types to progress in the solo battle challenges), and I was so happy to wake up to a baby Bulbasaur next to my Snorlax on Sleep this morning <333 I’m such a sucker for lil guys

Looking forward to: soon? I get to visit my grandma again tomorrow! I’ve been trying to see her close to weekly since she’s been in that nursing home (and since they allowed for safe masked visits), and each day I still have with her is a gift 💕 hospice and general QoL decline have been a process, but on days she’s doing alright, she adores getting to see me <3 beyooond that, I’m looking forward to the sakadays anime in January!!

Favorite drink: tough one!! Umm, I’ve been on a rootbeer kick on and off for the past year so that’s def up there. Apple juice and fruit punches are good sometimes as well, same with Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb. I’ve been a water guy lately tbh, but I like a fun lil drink now and then!! OOH I need to have wassail again soon 🤤

Song playing on a loop in your head: “Call Me Mercy” from Warriors, due to the aforementioned obsession. Something particularly earwormy about that one. Other songs from the musical come to me in snippets, but that one is fully on loop

Current favorite character: outside of the permanent mind residents (I see green and blue in everything), Fox from Warriors and Taro Sakamoto from SakaDays have been spinning around in there, along with their friends. Momo and Okarun are also bickering up in the mind palace, naturally

Fun activity you would like to get into: I just need to get back to cultivating my hobbies now that I’m a lil less doom and gloom than I was a month ago. I guess different forms of crafting are always on this list. I took a drawing class/session at the library last week that looked into the basics of light and shadow, so maybe I can get into graphite and charcoal sketching!! I used to try some charcoal stuff years ago without instruction, and experimenting it was fun enough to try again.

Last video game: Balatro my beloved !!! It’s been surprisingly fun, despite my fear of deck-builders in the past. I think it helps that there’s a lot of chance and variety to it, so each run can be a chance to try something new.

Last comic/graphic novel: I guess Blue Exorcist? Again, it’s been a minute since I’ve been in a mindset to read 😅 I’m probably going to catch back up on it soon, and I’ve been planning on doing a sakadays reread since my brother just started reading it. We’ll see what happens!!

No pressure tagging @ahobbitincamelot @tonfea @shenyaanigans @reikunrei @lithopsy @celesteeal @suhmayzooka and anyone else who feels like yapping 💚💚💚

[sea-owl]

I just wanted some modern besties Phillip and Penelope vibes being single parents and raising their kids together with occasional visits from crazy uncle Michael. Kinda like Full House style.

Phillip and Penelope met when her cousin Marina and his brother George started to go out with one another. Both being the quiet introvert types they got along well. When they both realized they were going to the same university they started to hang out more.

Sadly tragedy struck when George, who was a solider, was killed in action. This news made Marina, who was already suffering from postpartum, fall into a deep depression. So bad that she ended up taking her own life. The parents left behind a pair of twins Oliver and Amanda Crane.

Phillip ended up stepping up and adopting the twins. He didn't trust anyone else to take care of them despite the doubts he has for himself, and he felt like he owed George for taking care of him all those years ago.

Penelope herself also ended up having twins, Agatha and Thomas Featherington, after a drunken one night stand with "a random man in London."

"Penelope!" Michael laughed. "How scandalous! You don't who your baby daddy is?"

"Nope," Penelope said, rubbing her pregnant belly. "Black out drunk. My mother is not happy either."

The three friends were at Phillip's ancestral home visiting. Well, Penelope was actually hiding out after revealing to her mother her pregnancy, and Michael likes drama, so of course, he had to come hear the story.

"You know you could just stay here," Phillip offered later that night. "This house is too big its not like three more will make a difference and the twins love having their Aunt Penelope around."

Penelope happily accepted her friend's offer. The two friends happily live with one another doing their best to raise the kids. Michael came to visit every once in a while. Making sure to bring gifts and sweets for the children.

Things took an interesting turn, though, when the Crane twins were 8 and the Featherington twins were 6.

The cousins were playing in the park when Penelope heard another mother say. "Did I have another son?"

Penelope looked over. A pretty blonde, pregnant woman who could be Cinderella come to life was looking down at four boys. One of those boys being Penelope's son.

Penelope sighed. While both her children could be little troublemakers, just like their older cousins, Thomas has this charm about him that could get him almost anything he wanted.

Picking up Agatha Penelope made her way over to the other mother. "I'm sorry, I think our sons are playing a prank."

Penelope looked down at the four boys and whoa. They really did look a like. If Thomas eye's weren't emerald green, Penelope might not have been able to tell them apart, especially with the oldest boy.

"Oh, it's alright," the blonde woman laughed. "You think I would be used to this. My children's cousins all look alike to some degree and some could potentially switch places with one another." She held out a hand. "I'm Sophie Bridgerton."

[dollypopup]

canon divergence AU where Penelope confides in Marina and they actually become friends slaps soooo hard tho

Penelope coming to Marina when Portia locked her up in her room and Marina telling her about George just like in canon, but this time, Penelope sympathizes with her and listens as Marina laments about George, and shows her their letters, and Penelope is so moved by how open Marina is and so touched by their love story that she shyly says "Marina, in finding this out, I cannot help but feel I have judged you unfairly. I was so upset at your growing closeness with. . .well. . .Colin. . .Colin is like my George. I am not with Colin’s child but I feel as though I feel about him the same as you do George. The way you talk about your George is the same as…well…I feel about Colin. Our feelings mirror one another." and Marina being so appreciative that Penelope confided in her and immediately being so understanding and supportive. She's waiting for George to come steal her away but she gets why Penelope is into Colin. They're bonded through their love being a difficult thing for them or a thing they cannot fully act on. they find kinship with one another through it and decide to help each other

Just imagine how much better *both* their lives would be if they just formed a real friendship? Penelope helping Marina with writing letters to George, having secret sleepovers in her room even tho Portia forbids it, banding together to stand up to her, snooping with one another after that letter she forges and discovering the truth together, thirsting over Colin!!! So many of Penelope's frustrations would be eased if she just had *someone* she could thirst over Colin with. Marina telling Pen how babies are actually made. Penelope using LW to help Marina find a husband and/or to attempt to find George. Marina telling Colin he's a sweet man, really, and that he's been nothing but kind to her, but he already has people that make him happy and people he makes happy, in turn. Marina's 'You have Penelope' actually making sense. Penelope becoming Marina's wingwoman and Marina becoming Penelope's. The two of them giggling behind their fans in a ballroom, whispering about how he just looks *so* cute when he's bumbling about looking for them on the dance floor and did you notice his waistcoat is especially form fitting tonight?

we could have female solidarity. we could have sisterhood. we could have Penelope's circle widening. we could have them openly thirsting on Colin having Cake on main!!! Marina can have a full support system. Penelope can have someone to vent with. Penelope introducing Eloise and Marina to each other! The friendship! The sarcasm! The roasting of nonsensical ton rules and expectations!

We can even still have Marina in a carriage with Phillip, so long as she chooses it, because Penelope in this AU would ensure Marina got *more* choices, not less, but this time Penelope runs to her, clutching her hands, telling her she'd write. we could have Penelope coming to visit, having an opportunity to leave her mum's house whenever she wants under the 'I'm going to see Marina' excuse. we could have Penelope playing with Amanda and Oliver as Marina teaches them French or going on promenades with her out on the *massive* grounds. We could have Marina tell Penelope how good it is to have family over. . .well, *some* family, and the two of them laughing about it. We could have ALL the Portia roasts. We could have Marina slyly going 'soooooo, what of Colin?' when she stops by and Penelope going 'soooo, what of *your* affairs?' in return as they titter about it

we could have it all

[ailelie]

Fic I Want to Read: The Unexpected Gentleman (Theloise)

Imagine that George and Phillip Crane had an aunt they never met. This aunt ran off with an unsuitable lover when she was but 17 years old. Her brother never tried to track her down.

Then George dies, and Phillip takes on his would-be wife, children, and the estate.

Then Marina and Phillip die in a terrible accident. He was trying to save her from drowning, but her dress and some reeds got caught around his leg and he could not get himself or her free. They died together and there's a bit of a scandal over whether it was an accident, a double suicide, or a murder suicide. The twins are only toddlers at the time.

The luridness of the scandal hits the ton, which is how Eloise learns of it.

The Featheringtons of course try to step in as regents and caretakers while the twins age, which doesn't sit right with Penelope. She hurt Marina once to secure her own happiness; she will not stand by while her mother swoops in to steal Oliver's inheritance.

So Penelope goes snooping and learns about the lost Crane sister. She learns the sister married a tradesman and gave birth to three children, dying to birth the last one (the child was a surprise, born about a decade after her brother, the middle child). The husband basically abandoned his children after that. The eldest two--13 and 10--raised their baby sister. The boy apprenticed himself out in a deal that got him a room large enough for his family to stay in. Once the baby was old enough to learn letters, the eldest took work as a governess, leaving her 16ish year old brother to continue raising their sister. She later becomes a teacher in Brighton.

The family's name was Sharpe. The boy worked in a print shop.

Penelope, remembering Eloise's flirtation, thinks this is fantastic news. Amanda and Oliver will have better caretakers and Eloise will be able to reconnect with Theo now that he's more respectable in the eyes of the ton.

Before Penelope shares her information with authorities, she tells Eloise. Eloise is furious that Penelope is, once again, taking other people's lives into her own hands, but Penelope refuses to shift. She has to do this for Marina.

Eloise decides, if she cannot stop Penelope, she can warn Theo. This rekindles their friendship. When Theo is later pressed to move to the Crane estate with his younger sister, he and Eloise begin exchanging letters.

He is coming to terms with his new position, mourning children, a resistant staff, and a confused younger sister who treats her cousins like unwanted younger siblings.

Since Theo is clearly in over his head (he would and does dispute this), Eloise decides she must visit and help. After all, it was her friend who dumped him in this mess (even if said friendship is not as close as it once was).

And then it more-or-less plays out like the book. Theo and Eloise investigate Marina and Phillip's deaths together. They find ways to help the grieving twins. Eloise builds a bond with the now-11 or 12-year-old sister, and they find the way to help the estate prosper after it floundered under George's absence and Phillip's inattention.

(Perhaps the deaths were even a double-murder and the too-kind nanny is anything but. She only drugged Marina, never expecting Phillip to be snared by the same trap).

[lovable-chica]

Random Oc HeadCanons

Darla Marie Sasha🦌🎄

-Her Age is 15 almost 16

-Loves Christmas Cookies

-Has A Collection of Winter Hats in her Closet

-Her room looks like a winter wonderland

-Does Cart-Wheels and Flys in the Air in both her reindeer and hybrid form

-Acts like a Spoiled Brat to BoCo’s Dismay Sometimes but is Innocent

-Besties with Isobella and Bakes Tiny Cakes with Her

-Favorite Season is Winter and Summer

-Loves The 90s and Earlier 2000s songs

-Sees Rebecca as Her Big Sister

-Acts Like A Big Girl to The Bigger Engines or Other Reindeers and will not hesitate to roast them out of bravery

Luna Amanda Gwen🐧🧣

-Age is 15

-Always Listens to BoCo and Bear

-Is Short-Tempered and Sassy whenever someone teases her and she has to beat the person up

-Likes to Bake Cookies with Jenny(she’s @jessythebunny’s sona)

-Very Good At Arts and Crafts, and Can Draw Very Well

-Is A Good Acrobat Penguin

-Favorite Season is Winter and Summer(Likes winter the most because she can side on her belly in the snow)

-Hates Diesel 10 and will punch him if she has too same goes to other mean diesels

-Her Jam is The 2000s, She a fan of Missy Elliot

-Thinks she’s good at penguin noises (One Time She did a Siren Noise that Caused Amber to fall onto Thomas’s Buffer and Hurt Back, it didn’t end well)

Della Max Dalmatian🐾🦴

-Age is 16

-Tomboy Gal

-Is Sassy, Sarcastic and at bit Bad-Tempered Sometimes, but is Really Cheerful and Friendly

-Isabel and Dulcie act like her Mothers, She hates that

-Hates Babying Around by Coaches, Annie and Clarabel for Example

-Hates The 1930s songs, she thinks they are to old and stupid, but loves the 90s songs and putting it’s on too Annoy Oliver to his dismay

-Does Pranks with Bill and Ben because she thinks it’s funny to tease people and engines

-She Sleeps with Bill and Ben in their room(in my au, engines have rooms like sheds)

-Favorite Season is Summer

-Hates Being Sunburnt

-Loves Those Animal Crackers and Oreo Cookies

-Has an Irish Accent, Don’t Judge Her

[bridgertonbabe]

Domestic Philloise Drabble

Eloise walked through the front door, chucking her keys onto the side table and purposefully ignoring the sound of them completely missing and falling to the floor instead (after all, that would be an inconvenience for her future self to grumble about). 

“Phil?” she called out.

She carried on through the house until she reached the kitchen, partly expecting to find him making breakfast. However the kitchen was vacant.

“Phil?” she called again, projecting her voice a little louder for him to hear her from upstairs.

She then made her way up the stairs on her mission to track him down to the second place she’d expect to find him at this time of day. Typically Phillip would take the twins to school, seeing as he’d be up at the crack of dawn pottering about in his greenhouse anyway. However due to their recently disrupted sleep patterns, they alternated on who took Oliver and Amanda to school, depending on who was least lacking in sleep. It meant whenever Eloise came back from the school run she’d expect to find her husband in the kitchen or still slumbering in their bed. 

“Phil?” she called out in a softer tone as she poked her head around the door to their bedroom - but instead of finding Phillip gently snoring into the pillow, she found a freshly made bed, with the curtains drawn to allow their room to bask in the summer sun. 

She would have gone to check the remaining uninvestigated rooms of their home but she knew if he was around he would have responded to her calls. Therefore she presumed he must be out for a walk. Most likely to the local shop to pick up some milk or whatever basic necessities they had run out of. 

For a beat she hovered on the spot, wondering what to do with herself, though her eyes fixated on the soft inviting bed, tempting her to hurl herself down on it for a quick snooze. Sure she had chores to catch up on... but that would be a problem for her future self to deal with (on top of the fallen keys in the hallway). 

Eloise sprung onto the bed like a cat and immediately flopped down, sprawling herself across the bedspread. It wouldn’t be a proper nap, not with the sun shining down on her. She wasn’t good at falling into a deep sleep with any form of light source around her. All she was going to do was rest her eyelids and savour the feeling of the sunbeam’s warm embrace...

But then she heard the sound of Phillip’s gentle murmur. One of her eyes pinged open as she scanned the room but he wasn’t there. She heard him again and this time she sat up, realising the softness and unintelligible volume of his voice was due to the fact he wasn’t anywhere nearby. Listening out again she clocked the direction in which he was speaking from - outside in the garden.

Scrambling to her feet she peered out of the bedroom window and finally caught sight of her husband; and the sight she was met with immediately piqued her curiosity. 

Out in the garden Phillip was just within sight as he stood underneath a tree, and next to him was the pram. Eloise leaned on her forearms and almost ended up pressing her face against the window as she watched her husband in fascination.

Phillip was looking down into the pram and then peering up at the tree hanging over them, and Eloise could see that he was providing a running commentary to the pram’s occupant. He then reached up, grabbing a low-hanging branch with his hand, and very gently waved and moved it through the air before his eyes then returned to their infant daughter. 

Within the blink of an eye Eloise had sped out of the bedroom, zoomed down the stairs, and out the backdoor. She only slowed down once she began to approach Phillip, who had yet to even notice his wife was approaching from just how enamoured he was with their baby and shaking the branch for her entertainment. 

Even when she was practically right by his side he failed to notice her right away but the second he did and caught her eye the waving of the branch stopped.

“Hi.” he greeted her.

“Hello.” she smiled back. She then glanced to the branch still clutched in his hand before she posed him with a question. “Care to explain what’s going on here?”

Phillip bashfully fiddled with the twig-like end of the branch, momentarily feeling self-conscious about his actions. Eloise then reached out and plucked a leaf from the branch he was holding, twiddling the stem between her finger tips before playfully booping him on the nose with it. Instantly Phillip relaxed before nodding towards the pram.

“At two months she can start seeing colour.” he explained. “Red and green mainly. I just wondered if she’d be able to see the green of the trees yet.” 

Though Phillip was clearly trying to shrug the whole thing off like it was no big deal, his very sweet and simple explanation made Eloise’s heart swell with so much love and admiration for him that she almost felt short of breath. 

“And?” she managed to utter after a delayed reaction on her part. 

“And?” he echoed uncertainly. 

“Do you think she can see it? The green of the leaves?” Eloise asked eagerly. 

A soft smile pulled on Phillip’s face and he indicated for his wife to peek into the pram and while she did, he then gently began to wave the branch, rustling the leaves above them. When Eloise looked into the pram, her infant daughter was gazing up in awe, her lips parted in fascinated wonder at the movement of nature going on above her, her big bright eyes fixated on nothing else but the greenery. 

“Oh my god.” 

“What?” Phillip responded to his wife’s gasp. 

“She can see it. She can see the green.” Eloise stated, her face lit up with joy. 

“I mean, we can’t know for certain -”

“But as her mother I know she can!” Eloise insisted excitedly. “Do I have any proof? No. Can I read her developing mind? Of course not. But I just know.”

Phillip then craned his neck to look into the pram and saw just how captivated baby Penelope was with the green canopy above her. 

“Can’t you see?” Eloise beamed and grabbed a hold of Phillip’s arm. “She’s seeing the green and the leaves and she’s transcending! Her little mind’s transcending and it’s all because of you, Phil!” 

Phillip’s face turned pink from the unexpected praise his wife was heaping on him. “El, all I’m doing is shaking a branch.” he noted and gave the aforementioned branch a shake for good measure. 

“And? You’re still broadening the horizons of her mind! Her brain’s growing as she’s learning; and that’s all because of you!” 

Before he could laugh off her sentiment, he was caught off guard by Eloise cupping his face and pressing a jubilant kiss to his lips. In spite of feeling that his wife was lavishing him with unnecessary praise, Phillip simply decided to accept Eloise singing his praises as her earnest admiration for him squeezed at his heart and reminded him just how fortunate he was to have her in his life. 

The kiss was then interrupted by a little squeak, which brought both of their attentions to the pram where Penelope lay. She threw her arms about, flailing them as she looked back up at her parents expectantly and squeaked at them. Without hesitation, Phillip sensed what his daughter was after and gently shook the branch again; and within an instant Penelope relaxed, her eyes wide with awe once more as she gazed up at the leaves moving above her. 

With a fond smile on her face, Eloise watched their daughter experience the world unfolding around her as she cuddled into Phillip’s side, forever grateful to have the best father possible for her children. 

[shameonmeeguiltypleasure]

SMB Future Gen: Polin baby dynamic ideas

Ive got a whole dynamic for the future gen of Bridgertons for my SMB verse. But really been refraining from writing or sharing about it because, again, we are nowhere near that point in the actual SMB fic.

But I really can't help but want to post a few ideas I have for the SMBPolin babes dynamics/Dark chaotic energy :

1) Oh Shit! Jane what did you do!?

Agatha swallowed as the warm liquid splatter on her cheeks cooled. Her eyes were unable to look away from the mess her baby sister had just made.

"Did she just-" Thomas numbly started to blurt but was cut off by the wrangled scream from the terrified and bloody woman underneath a gurgling body.

"Shut Up." Jane ordered with a hiss before flicking the blood off her quill and poising to continue taking the statement of the whimpering woman at their feet. "Now, repeat for me what you claimed to know about the truth of the infamous Sir Lee Anders and his Lady Red.."

Agatha swallowed and resisted the shudder from the cold of Jane's tone. Papa had always warned her that Jane had inherited far more of his temper than the rest of them... She didn't believe him till tonight. Ugh, and now she will need to call on cousin Neville for yet another favour. The things she did for her family.

2) Can I borrow that?

"Thomas.... is that my Pocket watch?" Miles questioned as he stared at the tiny pieces of his once intact pocket watch. While he had no real attachment to the item, it was still..... well.... it had been his.

"Oh, yes. Apologies I was meant to put that back together before you came to visit." Thomas explained as he continued to scribble in his leather skin note book what ever nonsense that churned about in his head.

"When did you take my pocket watch?" Miles continued to question. He oddly felt as if he was experiencing an out-of-body experience.

"Yesterday, when you bent to kiss Miss Lake's hand after your dance." Thomas absently answered as he grumbled and scratched something he had written.

"Thomas you stole from me...." Miles slowly pointed out as one would to a dimwit.

"It is not stealing if one intended to return what was taken. I borrowed it."

"Thomas..... THAT was a gift."

"Yes, one you barely cared for. By the way, can I borrow your footman?"

"No! LEST You try to disect the poor man as well!!" Miles exclaimed with exasperation. Thomas had the audacity to scoff as if it were Miles being ridiculous.

"Jane is the one with a stronger interest in biology, cousin, you know this."

Miles groaned into his palms and wondered how his Father survived the madness of his siblings genetics.

3) George Slow Down!!

"What do you mean you don't know how to- WATCH OUT!!"

George let out an uncharacteristic cackle that many wouldn't expect has he urged the horses to race faster. Oliver was screaming from his perch beside his cousin as they raced down dirt roads, thank fully empty, and skidded round corners. It wasn't until a wayward goat had found its way onto the middle of their path that Oliver truly felt terror.

"BRIDGERTOOOOOON!!!!"

"HIYAAAAH!!" George searched with a boisterous laugh.

Later, when they'd successfully parked the carriage before the Crane family home, where their siblings and one very amused Lady Eloise Crane waited, Oliver would deny what happened.

"George, You look a mess!?" Eloise exclaimed as she looked over the gentle mannered 16year old. George, with his windswept hair, plump cheeks and mothers eyes, simply shrugged in response.

"Brother?" Amanda called with concern.

Oliver did not reply, not when he was far too busy throwing up what little was in his stomach.

"Never again!" Oliver swore between heaves "You are never to be handed the reigns of any transportation so long as I live, George Michael Bridgerton!!"

George merely blinked in response, looking as deceivingly innocent as his late-mother. Eloise laughed, and if her laughter was tinged with the sound of grief, the children politely took no notice.

4) Ask me no questions and I shall tell you no lies.

Charlotte was nervous, who wouldn't be when one spent the better half of the evening dragging a man along the earthy ground in the dead of night.

"Aggie, are you sure-" Charlotte nervously fretted.

"Shh!" Agatha hushed before carefully adjusting the cloth covering the unconscious, possibly dead, Lord Murtle.

"Agatha, if my brothers or gods my father-"

"Lottie, enough! I'll handle it alright. This ain't the first time I've had to get rid of a Lord or two" Agatha huffed as she proceeded to carefully flit through the pockets of the unconscious figure.

"At least you clobbered him and not gutted him. A drunken wander into the streets proceeded by a mugging should do the trick.." Agatha mumbled.

Charlotte watched her younger cousin expertly strip the lord of his valubles and proceed to stage his plight with expertise. She had only wished to get him away from her, not knock him unconscious.

"Are we to simply leave him here?" Charlotte nervously fretted.

"Yes! Listen, it's best if you hurry home to mine, Thomas and Jane should be good to solidify an alibi for you. Seeing as no one even knows of my return to London, I can safely square everything away. No one will need to know of what could have happened between you and Mr Murtle. I promise!" Agatha assured.

Charlotte still looked hesitant as she glanced at the sheet covered form.

"But I- "

Agatha gripped her older cousin with both arms and sternly looked her deep in her eyes.

"He's not dead Lottie. You did nothing wrong. It was self-defense. Tomorrow, he'll wake with a headache and no memory at all of your encounter believing it a dream. Now go home."

With one last nudge, Charlotte finally left Agatha alone as instructed. Agatha waited until she was sure her cousin was far away from hearing range and sight. Only then did she bow her head and sigh.

From the shadows emerged a man, slow clapping dramatically. Agatha pinched at the bridge of her nose as the man joined her.

"I must say cousin, your ability to deceive is always so very fascinating to witness."

"Oh shut up Neville. Now grab his feet so we can be rid of this mess." Agatha hissed.

Neville Berbrooke grinned, the expression as flippant and airy as his mother.

"Grandmama always did say the mixing of Bridgertons and Featheringtons were sure to be a deadly combination..." Neville kicked the covered corpse with a snicker and smirked. "You still owe me for the last body I helped you bury, sweet Aggie"

Agatha sighed and glared down at the very dead Lord Murtle and lightly punched the arm of her snickering cousin. Undoubtedly, he was going to be insufferable about the many favours she owes.

"The things I do for family...." Agatha later sighed as she watched Neville sink the stone filled corpse into the depths of the sea.

With the help of her Maternal cousin, Agatha arranged the quiet disappearance of Lord Murtle with great care. A few paid whispers among the poor, a theatric performance from hired thugs, two or more manipulated witnesses from the ton and finally a stack of carefully forged letters confirming Mr Murtle's scandalous flee from society. It only took a week for Agatha to see the mess of Mr Murtle neatly tidied and forgotten.

"Aggie.... How did you do it? How did you convince Mr Murtle to flee town?" Charlotte curiously whispered once Mr Murtle's fate was publicly revealed to society.

Agatha laughed and shrugged "Just had a bit conversation with the man. Nothing to it. Believe me, Lottie, there very little talking to be had. Once he realized it was a Bridgerton he'd crossed, you could say the man was damned no matter what."

Agatha saw no reason to burden her cousin with the truth of what was truly and unfortunate accident.

[your3fundamentaltruths]

So I meant to come back to the WIP game later and then I kiiiiiinda forgot about it for a few days buuuuut please please please tell me something about

put him on his knees and give him something to believe in

🍽

😘

Because I've taken forever to answer, I've since posted about the first part, which can be found here.

TLDR is that put him on his knees, give him something to believe in is sequel to nothing gold can stay AKA the AU where Lady Whistledown doesn't reveal Marina's secret and Colin and Marina proceed with their elopement.

So I'll give you an upcoming snippet, with Penelope reflecting on an event we see briefly in nothing gold can stay (which was from Marina's POV):

She had thought she had no room in her heart for pain besides that of being ripped away from Colin and still she had managed to stand strong and not cry when they’d exchanged their parting words before she walked down the aisle.

Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief –

So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. 

Goodbye, Colin.

But at the end of the wedding breakfast came Amanda, the crown of daisies she wore as flower girl askew in her mussed curls, with her small sobs and shaking shoulders, to say goodbye.

Then Penelope’s tears had finally escaped: tears for herself, for Colin, for their baby, for Amanda and for Oliver, and even for Marina, whose first lie had trapped them all in an ever-more complicated and farcical web.

[silverhallow]

Sunset, phillip and Eloise

Word count: 182

(Look I can do a Drabble!!!)

Nothing but tooth rotting fluff ahead

( @sirphillipcranestanaccount I’m tagging you cause it’s your babies)

Sunset questions

It was her favourite time of the day, he knew that, like he knew her favourite book was Pride and Prejudice but told everyone it was Little Women…

He knew that she had an adorable little mole on her left bum cheek and a tattoo on her right, of a bee to commemorate and remind her of her fathers strength.

He knew she was a force to be reckoned with and when she was angry there was not a place on this earth you could hide from her wrath

He knew she loved fiercely with her entire heart and soul and he had been privileged to witness it over the last 18 months, not only did she love him but she loved his twins.

She was the missing piece of the puzzle and so at Sunset he had Amanda and Oliver waiting to ask Eloise the most important question he could…

They stood there, on the edge of the lake at her family country home and as the sun shone the last of its beautiful colours, he got on one knee as the twins asks “will you marry our daddy?”

[callmemana]

Bloody Noses & Ice Cream

Papa Mine Drabble

Summary: Lucas Bramley is a little bully leaving Baylie & Raven to do what’s necessary… like giving him a bloody nose.

A/N: Lucas Bramley (Hermes) is from Lucky Penny by @bayisdying ! Please check it out HERE!

{masterlist 📚} {previous chapter 📎} {next chapter 📖}

To say the least, the Kerner’s didn’t know what to say or expect when their baby girl was born. Amanda’s skin was fair, eyes a beautiful royal blue, and hair as dark as Jade’s chocolate brown curls.

Ron and Jade’s skin was tan or olive in color, dark haired, and brown eyes, nothing like that shown in their mini-me. As she grew, her hair became blonde and had red strands woven in the mix of wild waves upon her head, skin still fair and sensitive, and eyes looking more and more like the deepest of oceans.

Amanda looked more like her paternal grandparents. Her grandmother, Adalaide, who was fair skinned, deep ocean blue eyes, and red hair. Her grandfather, Felix, had tanned skin, brown eyes, and blonde hair.

If you didn’t know better, you’d think that Amanda looked a little bit more like a Kazansky then a Kerner and Baylie, a Kerner more than a Kazansky.

Tom Kazansky, Ron’s best friend and pilot, had sky blue eyes and blond hair. Rachael, his wife, had sky blue eyes, fair skin, and chestnut brown hair. Baylie, their daughter, had beautiful olive skin, brown-grey eyes, and dark chocolate brown hair.

Both girls the complete opposite of their biological parents, but similar to the other couple. Everyone around that knew the families would never question who’s daughter’s who’s, but they didn’t really care either.

At Top Gun, all the aviators in the squadrons were very close and saw each other as family.

Children, on the other hand, are very curious and don’t have a filter. And most of the time parents' rudeness and other traits are a learned behavior, just like their grandparents taught them.

So it wasn’t a big surprise when the first-grade bully, Lucas Bramley, decided to pick on Baylie and Amanda because they looked different than their Mommies and Daddies. “Why don’t you look like youse mommy and daddy?”

The girls’ did the big kid thing and turned the other cheek, but as the day went on and the comments got worst, it started to get on their nerves.

They had told the teacher about the comments and all she did was take him outside and talk to him each time and Luke still wouldn’t stop.

Baylie has a better control on her temper at this young of age than Amanda does, and many times did Mousey have to distract her while Bay took charge of the situation. As the day came to an end and Luke followed them around, Bay had finally cracked.

“I fink that Baylie is really Mister Ron’s and that Amanda is really Mister Tom’s. Yous don’t look like yous belong to the right Mommies and Daddies!” Bay had held her tongue and fists all day and had enough of this stupid-head.

It took merely seconds for Bay’s tiny balled up hands to punch Lucas’ face, a satisfying crunch noise echoed round the quiet classroom.

Mousey was shy, but just as over it as her sisters were at the boy, and copied her sister’s actions, punching him again in the face.

Ms. Hart, the teacher, rushed over and comforted a wailing Luke while the assistant, Ms. Jordan, took the Kazansky girls and Amanda to the Principal’s Office to talk about the rules of behavior in the classroom.

Once Lucas was feeling better and had an icepack against his bloody and slightly sideways nose, parents were called.

Of course, since the Kerner’s and Kazansky’s were aviators it took a long period of time to get ahold of them, but when the message was finally received after they all landed, the parents all headed over to the school.

Tom and Rachael knew that their daughters wouldn’t hit anyone unless provoked, they taught them better than to just swing without reason.

When the three couples arrived, all were sat down with the children and the principal and told to tell the tale of why they chose violence.

Bay was the first to speak up, cutting Luke’s remark off before he couldn’t tell a lie and get out of the trouble he deserves.

“He was walking around and spreading lies Mama! He says that me and Mana weren’t born to the right Mommy and Daddys ‘cause we don’t look like yous!”

“We told Ms. Hart, but alls she did was take ‘im to the hallway and talk to hims! He comes back in and do it all over again!” announced Ray, immediately going back to folding into herself and looking away from the group.

“Luke even made Mana cry, he deserved the punch for being a stupid-head!” with the stern look from her parents, Bay sat back down in the small plastic chairs, pudgy arms folded over her chest like her dad.

The Principal took in the information and nodded as he came up with the punishment fit for the crime. “Now that we have heard Baylie and Raven’s point of views, I’d like to hear Amanda’s and Lucas’, it’s only fair.”

“I didn’t say nothin’! They make that up-”

“No we not!” shouted Amanda, as she jumped out of her seat, face red hot and scrunched up in anger. Ron gently grabbed his daughter’s arm and held her to his chest to calm her down, by letting her listen to his heartbeat.

The soothing rhythm took affect almost immediately, her little round arms wrapped around her father’s neck as she sat in his lap to hear it better, further lulling her anger from before.

“He did say that about our Mommys’ and Daddies. Luke been being mean to us for months, saying that Daddy leaves ‘cause he don’t love me.”

Tom and Ron’s head whips to the little boy, anger stored in their eyes as they glare at him and the parents for not disciplining their child for the wrong and bad behavior he shows.

Mr. and Mrs. Bramley have their heads held high, smirks on their snobby and rich faces. Ron figures that’s where their son gets his entitlement from. Like parent, like child.

Rachael takes action, the reason why her callsign is Dragon coming to light. Using a nice and firm voice, “Tom and Ron are aviators for the Navy and sometimes the Navy has to send them away to fight the bad guys so we can stay a free country.”

Mrs. Sobby harshly grabs her son by the arm and rips him back towards her and her husband, taking no mind to the boy’s whines and whimpers.

“Don’t talk to my Lucas like he’s stupid. He’s very smart, the smartest child here no doubt, and this school is for the ‘gifted’ children, not brats like your daughters.” she snarked, Mr. Sobby behind her and smirk still proudly on his face.

“I’m sorry, did you say ‘brats’ when you addressed our girls? Because the last I checked, my daughter, nor do my nieces, act like they own and are handed everything because Ron and I are too busy to actually take care of our kids.”

“How dare you talk to me like that, do you even know who you’re talking to in that tone?”

“No, and to be honest, I don’t care. This is about your son acting out in school and bullying our daughters because he thinks that’s ok. You need to learn how to behave and then teach your son. Come on girls, let’s go to base.

As the Kerner’s and Kazansky’s left they were told that the children would be suspended for three days for fighting but would be allowed back next week.

The families started to drive back and as they did Rachael and Jade had been chatting over messages and had agreed that the girls deserved some sort of treat for staying patient as long as they did and for standing up for each other.

The parents were very proud of their daughters and knew that their aunts and uncles would be too.

Bay realized first that they weren’t on the way home and stared wide-eyed at her father, who had a knowing smirk on his lips through the rearview mirror.

Bay couldn’t contain her excitement and screamed which caused Raven to look over and start stiming by shaking her hands enthusiastically and jumping up and down in her booster seat.

Rachael looked behind her and started to giggle at her daughters’ reactions, tapping Tom on his shoulder and pointing to the backseats.

Once the car had stopped, Bay was out of her booster seat, yanking the car door open and jumping out as Ron and Jade’s car had parked beside their own.

Raven was close behind her sister, waiting for her dad to grab their hands so they could walk across the street.

Ron had Amanda on his back getting ready to carry her and asking her about the dessert she would get while holding Jade’s hand lovingly.

The small group had made their way into the Dairy Queen and ordered, the children picked out the booth they would all sit at and started to eat their treats.

It wasn’t long before little Bradley had opened the door and soon Carole, Nick, and Scarlett weren’t far behind, then Leo and Cricket, Rick and Duckie, and so many others had arrived and sat down to celebrate with them.

When it was time to go back to base, everyone said their goodbyes and told the girls how proud they were of them.

Tom and Ron carried their daughters to the car and the couples said their own goodbyes and planned playdates for the next couple of days.

The girls were put to bed soon after they got home and the parents watched the CCTV video that the teacher had sent of Bay and Ray punching that spoiled ass kid in his nose, making comments and laughing at his surprised face.

Tom couldn’t wait to show the guys what their nieces did, he knew that there’d be so much laughter and jokes made for years to come.

Birdie’s Basket: @dragon-kazansky @whiskeyswriting @bayisdying @faerieroyal @tngrace

🏷️ list: (open)

[thekatebridgerton]

Yeah, I don't think the fact that Eloise was traumatized by her mother's very difficult labor and so soon after Edmund's death was followed up.

Like it's never brought up again.

Oh god, when she finds out that Mary Wollstonecraft died after giving birth...

I find it at least in character that Julia Quinn gave Eloise the one husband who did not need to produce heirs because he already had two kids so there was no pressure for Eloise at all to have a child and the fact that she had little Penelope means that it was completely her choice to get pregnant. And I agree with you her trauma whith childbirth is not properly addressed. Probably because it's a romance novel not a novel of the psychological genre but I imagine that being married to Philip and not being under any pressure to have a baby because Oliver and Amanda were already there help at least come to terms with the idea of having a child of her own. Especially taking to account that her best friend was pregnant around that time.

It is very possible that with Penelope being pregnant and her marriage to Philip and her experience with motherhood relating to Oliver and Amanda Eloise might have worked through her trauma with her husband's help. Not only by helping Penelope with her pregnancy but also by being reassured and supported by her whole family.

Ultimately we all know that no matter how much the husband tells his wife that he's going to be there every step of the way the person in danger of dying in childbirth is the woman. So it will be interesting to see Eloise grow from her trauma into not only facing her fears but moving past them the way that Anthony move past his fear of an early death both of which are tied to the death of their father.

It's interesting to note that a lot of people seem to want at least to be there when Penelope gets hurt without taking into account this exact point that Eloise was traumatized by her own mother experience with childhood at least in the book Eloise is supposed to be a few months pregnant by the time Penelope gives birth to Agatha but it would be interesting to see it in the show what Eloise reaction to Penelope having a child would be because this would be the kid of someone she absolutely loves two people she adores her best friend and one of her brothers

I can see baby Penelope conception being something completely voluntary on Eloise part. Actually it's probably Philip who would be more reluctant to have a child with Eloise because he already lost one wife and the idea of losing her would have him just trying to convince her to keep Oliver and Amanda they don't need babies if he just has her so it would be Eloise working through that herself and reaching a personal conclusion on her own about her fears of giving birth. Which is very interesting since it's something very individual for every woman I think all of us even the ones who absolutely love children, have a little fear of childbirth inside of them.

And it would be wonderful to see this portrayed on TV instead of just sugarcoating it or sweeping it under the rug. Like for example and House of the Dragon Rhaenyra trauma with childbirth is never addressed, she just seemed to give boss her way through the birthing chamber, I hope they don't do that with Eloise. I want them to show at least a little bit of the healing process and bravery it takes for a woman who knows that she may die giving birth to process all that and get better, realizing that she's more than her fears and that she still wants to have a baby.

Or maybe Netflix I won't show it maybe Aunt Eloise and Philip will be child free and George kids will inherit the estate, there's nothing wrong with that. They will just raise his niece and nephew together.

And that's the tea

[silvcrignis]

Also kid meme for Keira and bill and Missy and Claude plz

{Meme}: Send a pair name and I’ll tell you what I think it would be like if they had a child. {x}

Name: Stellis Oliver Afton (He lets people call him Stell mostly some people fuck up his very simple name)

Gender: Male

General Appearance: Another kid with his mother's weird silver hair what a fuckin surprise, his talons are never retracted because he thinks he looks pretty cool like that, once again taller than both the parentals but honestly for Will not THAT much he's like 6'7 it's barely noticable, he has heterochromia his right eye is green his left is grey & man is he popular because of it. He made one of those varsity jackets with a Mangle theme & if you see him without it on it's in the wash

Personality: Insufferably pretentious when talking about the politics of Hell. Charismatic as fuck with any other subject, people LOVE this kid, Keira & William are always showing up to see people they... Don't know in their house & he's like "This is my new friend, _" & they're like "... Okay..." They're so used to it now.

Special Talents: He can open up the pits to Hell just like his mam. He's also really good at household handy work, especially fixing doors.

Who they like better: Keira

Who they take after more: Keira, he went right ahead & became a big dumb jock just like her. Quidditch or die lmao.

Personal Headcanon: He bullies his father all the time for "letting himself get arrested like a big loser" like Stell stop being so MEAN to him. Keira can bully him but show your father a MODICUM of respect bls.

Face Claim: Jeremy Dufour

Spoiler Alert:This one below is never happening Claude has FOUR kids, does not want more & demon pregnancies are fuckin horrific Alana almost DIED birthing Laine & Mads & that bitch is a MERMAID.

Name: Chloé Vivienne Frollo

Gender: Female (Gremlin)

General Appearance: Like every single biological product of Claude Frollo she got his pale as fuck turquoise eyes, & shitty uncontrollable hair, she's like fuckin 6'5 send help, also has the RBF like JFC not 9 months of carrying her for Missy just for her to be a clone of Claude because she's also blonde.

Personality: She keeps trying to out war criminal her big sister Clair... So... Awful lmfao.

Special Talents: She's a great violinist just like her dad but she won't stop covering Wonderwall in the campus quad on it so she can fuck off. Also SUPER strong if a car hit her it's the CAR that will suffer.

Who they like better: Missy because Missy will let her throw the rotisserie chicken at cars passing by Dad is no fun :////.

Who they take after more: Her shitty older sister Clair & Claude wonders which one of them is gonna get themselves killed first.

Personal Headcanon: She won't stop carrying Victor swaddled up like a baby all around the house. Vic loves it, Claude just... Sometimes he needs his cigarettes watching that shit

Face Claim: Amanda Stenberg (If anyone has questions they did not read his bio. It's linked in the pinned post so go do that instead of pestering me lmfao.)

(REALLY YOU ALWAYS WAIT UNTIL I'M AT MY BREAKING POINT OR SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING ELSE IM STARTING TO THINK YOU HATE ME)

[sea-owl]

To add: I really want Eloise to have biological children in the show. Only so she can have the conversation about love with Francesca. How you can love a child that is not yours.

Also, I think it would be very interesting to see Eloise fight her anxiety surrounding childbirth. So many women confront the same fears. It is an important conversation. It would be interesting to see that on screen.

What do you think?

I think it would be interesting to see Eloise have biological children on the show, too, along with being Oliver and Amanda's chosen mother. Like I said, I'm cool either way, but it would be nice to see her confront this fear she has instead of freezing like a deer in headlights. It will also be intresting to see her take this journey with Phillip too. Because we have to remember in the show the twins are also not Phillip's biologically and I don't think he ever planned to biologically have kids either.

Calling it now, if we get baby Penelope, she's gonna be an accident/unplanned. It will be interesting to see philoise take on the challenge because while yes, this is their first pregnancy, it's their third baby. I think once baby Penelope is there, they'll be okay. It's pregnant Eloise that's gonna be the challenge.

It would also be intresting to see the show take on the challenge of a jealous sibling who is having fertility issues and wants desperately what another sibling has. If we go that route using Eloise and Francesca, I think it would be the right pick. Francesca still loves her sister, but she is hella jealous of Eloise, who used to always say she never will never marry, much less have kids accidentally get pregnant while she struggles. It would open up for a conversation that I feel like Francesca didn't get to have in her book since she still needed to finish grieving John and let herself love Michael.

[ijustkindalikebooks]

Review: The Mysterious Case of The Alperton Angels by Janice Hallett.

Open the safe deposit box. Inside you will find research material for a true crime book. You must read the documents, then make a decision. Will you destroy them? Or will you take them to the police?

Everyone knows the story of the Alperton Angels: the cult-like group who were convinced one of their member's babies was the anti-Christ, and they had a divine mission to kill it - until the baby's mother, Holly, came to her senses and called the police. The Angels committed suicide rather than go to prison, and Holly - and the baby - disappeared into the care system.

Nearly two decades later, true-crime author Amanda Bailey is writing a book on the Angels. The Alperton baby has turned eighteen and can finally be interviewed - if Amanda can find them, it will be the true-crime scoop of the year, and will save her flagging career. But rival author Oliver Menzies is just as smart, better connected, and is also on the baby's trail.

I read The Appeal last year on holiday and absolutely loved it, so when the opportunity arose to read this, I took it and I'm so glad I did as we are led into a new mystery brought to us by an innovator of the genre, Janice Hallett.

As brilliantly written as her previous books, TMCOTAA leads us again into emails, messages and correspondence to grab us by the shoulders and delve into a new mystery that brings these characters to life in a unique way once again. I really appreciate howhow the author develops these characteters through the layers of communication and writing throughout.

Plotwise, this book is certainly drags you in, from the first message you read, this book slowly lures you into a plot that twists and turns and bluffs you so well. I think it's not as straightforward as her other books, however her ambition pays off here with a great story that makes you want to read it again to see what you missed.

A fantastic read, if you love a cosy mystery, this is for you.

[sprucesap]

Here's the whole text, in case it goes behind a paywall for anyone:

By Amanda Gelender

Kaddish for the Soul of Judaism: Genocide in Palestine

As I write this, the wheels of genocide are turning. As I write this, I am preparing for Shabbat.

When I see Gaza, I see my own people languishing in concentration camps. I see a world that has turned its back on us, letting us be slaughtered en masse because we aren’t quite human enough.

I am having a nightmare, can you wake me up? I’m dreaming that the Star of David is not sewn onto our clothes but affixed to the genocidal soldiers who bomb hospitals, schools, and churches with no regard for life. Who round up entire communities and shoot kids dead in the street.

I remember there was talk of Tikkun Olam and Tzedakah — is our humanity buried somewhere under the rubble? Is anyone still breathing under there? I scour bombed remnants of residential buildings for shreds of Judaism’s soul. I thought it was still here. I thought so many things that evaporated in the dust of an air strike.

We built institutions and monuments to “never forget” but look at us now. It seems we left our humanity outside the door of the holocaust memorial museum. Jews are a diasporic miracle trapped in a nation state of lies. Israel has sacrificed our humanity at the altar of nationalism.

There’s no anesthesia in the hospital but can you bear the pain a bit longer, Palestine? We would help, but our hands are already covered in blood.

I want to invite all of Gaza to Shabbos dinner tonight — is there an evacuation route you won’t bomb, Israel? And when the Shabbat candles dim, can my friends please use the keys around their necks to finally return home?

Perhaps one day we will pull a Gazan child’s diary from the rubble and ash. We will dust off the casings and gun powder. Will we be able to read her words under blood-soaked paper? Did her dreams die in the phosphorous gas dropped on her head? Our grandchildren will ask us about the Palestinian genocide and why the world didn’t intervene. Was she too brown or was it just “too complicated?”

Did you hear about the boy from Gaza who took his own life this week? Who saw hell on earth and chose to leap into the unknown instead of being murdered by an airstrike? Lay his body on the pile too, please, next to the shoes at Auschwitz. My ancestors from Mount Masada will protect him — they too chose to die by their own hand rather than suffer the indignity of slaughter by the tyrant. Things fall apart.

A pregnant Palestinian woman was blasted dead by an Israeli air strike this week. Doctors tried to deliver her baby from the mother’s dead corpse. I don’t know if the baby lived. If she did, can she sit under our sukkah next year so the sun can grace her face?

Can you hear me recite the Mourner’s Kaddish for every soul killed in Gaza? It may take me a moment, I have to say thousands of prayers, and each person has a name. I will sit Shiva for a million lifetimes. I leave a stone on each martyred grave to root the dead back into the earth, but I can still hear the screaming and I’m trying to pray.

I want to turn back the clock. Can you please unburn the houses and re-root the olive tree groves, Israel? Can you drain the concrete you poured in the water springs? Can you unlaunch the bombs you dropped on the hospitals? I can’t hear you at the bimah because the air strikes are too loud.

Does it make you feel strong, Israel? To be the one wielding the gun as children cower? Are you healed now, do you know peace? You are a coward, dropping bombs from the sky making vapid platitudes for peace. I want to reach for Jewish wisdom but I cannot read the Talmud, it’s covered in blood.

Gaza is starving, can she eat at our Seder? Can you jump on the tracks before this train arrives at Bergen-Belsen? Can you distract the guard and dump the Zyklon B? Can you poison the commander or throw a rock of resistance at his tank? Can you see a Palestinian as human before you turn on this deadly gas? It’s all quite unpleasant and distracting me from prayer.

I’m wailing at the wall. I need challah for Shabbos but Israel bombed the last bakery in Gaza. Palestine is hungry for justice and the dehydration is setting in.

I’m having a nightmare, can you please wake me up? I’m dreaming that they fooled the Jewish people to do the bidding of western imperialism. To feed their tech, their fascism, their bank accounts, their global death squads for the expansion of empire. That us Jews wiped out villages and stole indigenous land, maintaining 75 years of genocide. All I see are pieces of G-d’s dead children in plastic grocery bags — can you please wake me up?

You — who squat in stolen homes and kidnap children. You — who rape, murder, mutilate, humiliate, then take a photo. You — Israel. You are not me, you never were. My Judaism spans thousands of years. My Judaism is expansive, righteous, boundless, rooted. I am a miracle of Jewish diasporic vision that could never be contained by a military state. I have no love for you or your fascism, Israel. I don’t know you and I never did.

I wish we had time to ponder what this all means for the soul of Judaism. But it’s Shabbat and the wheels of genocide are already turning. And my beloved Jewish people are driving this bus off the cliff. Can you feel this empire of dust crumbling to the ground? Is bombing really a balm for your crushed spirit?

Have you ever wondered why the nazi soldier didn’t lay down his weapon? I have. What idea, what nation state, did he believe in so much that he could mow us all down and laugh? What could have made him see that we deserved to live? That Palestine deserves to be free?

Palestine will never forget. The world will never forget. My Jewish descendants and I will never forget. And who are you in this moment, my beloved fellow Jew? Are you waving the Israeli flag as entire lineages of Palestinian families are wiped from the public record? Are you partying at the edge of a concentration camp? Has the guilt crept up your spine yet? And how many dead children will make you feel safe? What’s the number? When you kill that many, will you stop?

When I see Gaza, I am the Palestinians. I do not see myself in the face of an Israeli soldier — why should I? Because we are both Jewish? I see a colonizer, an occupier, a violent settler. I see someone willing to keep their boot on the neck of Palestine until she dies in the street.

Tell me the story again, zayde. Of David and Goliath, of Palestine and Israel, of a stone vs a tank. Tell me again who you are and tell me the truth this time.

twitter: @agelender | instagram: @agelender

Amanda Gelender is an anti-zionist, Jewish American woman. She has been part of the Palestinian solidarity movement since 2006.